ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th October 2024

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

People are ruining a nice online trend Hayley's pimple incident Top 6 new changing room tech we need Vaughan's Dad Hayley's missing cat New census data SLP - Have you travelled somewhere because you say it on social media? Fletch's MRI How badley were you scammed? Titanic is old according to August Why we all need a rage friend Fact of the Day Worst feeling in the world?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley on ZM. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley.

God, you're just trying to get ahead and be entrepreneurial and sell tasers online and they shut you down. I thought this government encouraged entrepreneurs. I thought so too. Not stifled them. Just trying to start a business here. A lot of business ideas. And the nanny state! Also... Nanny state!

Who thinks they're going to get away with selling tasers and pepper spray online? Like my father-in-law. As two, I'll say larrikins in the radio industry, have you guys ever tasered yourself as part of your shenanigans? We've been cattle prodded. Did it hurt?

Dog collared. Dog collar. But I'm not getting tasered. What if that's how I found out I've got a faulty heart? Sure. Yeah, not funny if you don't. What a way to go. Dead.

Did it hurt, the cattle prod? It's not too much of a... You know what it's like when you know you're going to get hurt, so it's the tension and the suspense of when it's going to happen. Or when you get it done by surprise, it's the fright that gets you. I had a light electrocution. I did that tough mudder, you know, the running through the thingy. And the last hurdle, you had to climb, you know, like those army crawls

underneath all these like live wires and like ding, ding, ding you the whole time. So I've had that, which I imagine is just similar to like a fence over and over again. Electric fence, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, we should do that. Oh my God, guys, this is a great idea.

Why don't we get like a police in here and taser us? No, thanks. No, but just like a fun radio bit. No, well, if you want to do radio like that, go back to the 2000s. Oh, man, I miss the good old days. We're born and retired from that.

We're retired from our wacky stance. Do you know what? I've been here for three years. Not once have you told me to take my top off. Again, I would say go back to the 2000s and radio.

I've missed the good old days. Yeah, you really have. Now, ZM... We'll be chucking a bit of body shaming soon if you want. Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Okay. Yeah.

Now, ZM bringing you Coldplay's Music of the Spheres World Tour Eden Park, November 13. Today on the show we're going to play a Coldplay song. Chris Martin.

We're going to play a Coldplay song. No, we're going to play a Coldplay song sometime before 9 o'clock. If you are the first caller through when that plays we're going to give you

a double pass to go and see them. What if Chris Martin is the first caller through when that plays? He's not allowed to enter. Do you know, I bet I could bring in

a random white guy and tell you who was in Coldplay and you wouldn't be able to tell me if he was or not. Only if you said he was the lead singer, I'd know you were lying. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't know anyone else. This is the drummer from Coldplay.

I wouldn't know anyone else in that band. I do in his late 40s. Well, keep listening for that Coldplay song. The top six is coming up. Okay. K- What is it called? Kmart is trialling a new technology in an Australian changing room.

You take in your clothes, an RFID scanner. That's what it is, a RFID. That's the thing it is. RFID tags are on clothes. And when you take them into the changing rooms, it's like this is what you, the shopper, have brought into the changing rooms. Yeah, it's very smart.

Right, so it's not a camera. It's not a camera. It scans you as you walk in, you walk through. So I don't want them taking a photo of my knickers. Well, that's what people are saying. Oh, this is overstepping and it's an invasion of my privacy when I'm in. Right. Kmart's changing room with Kmart stuff.

Yeah. But it's, you know, the next step in changing room technology. I've got the top six next advancements I believe we need. Okay. When we go into a changing room anywhere. It's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though. There was a beautiful online trend,

a really moving sort of act of kindness, shall we say? Yep. And people have taken it and they've gone feral. The internet's ruined it. Yep, internet's ruined. Yep. And people have taken it and they've gone feral. The internet's ruined it. Yep, internet's ruined it. No, humans have ruined it. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. There was a beautiful internet trend

that came about when someone saw, I think was it like a Target or a big Walmart or something like that. In America. Where they sell a little bit of everything. Groceries, clothes, accessories. Guns. Guns, coffins.

Crossbows. I've seen crossbows there. Crossbows. It was like, there were like kids toy aisles and then guns and crossbows. Right next to that. I was like, America. Yeah. America.

God bless this beautiful nation. Anyway, so it came about because someone saw in the baby aisle near the baby wipes and baby oils and all that kind of stuff, they saw a handbag abandoned. And the tagline for it was like, she deserves the handbag. Because the idea was that this mum had gone, oh, I might treat myself to a new handbag. It was a handbag from the store.

From the store. Right. Yeah. So like, oh my God, I'm going to get myself a little treat in this handbag. Then got to handbag from the store. From the store. Right, okay. So like, oh my God, I'm going to get myself a little treat in this handbag. Then got to the baby aisle, saw how expensive everything was

and was like, okay, I'll put the handbag back. It's like when you see someone's put some shaved ham next to the toilet paper. You're like, oh. Yeah. They deserve the ham.

They deserve the ham. You've got to abandon the ham at the milk. Yeah, you've got to keep it in the fridge. Don't be a dick. I mean, they're probably not going to put it back in with the shaved ham. I hope you've got to keep it in the fridge. Don't be a dick. I mean, they're probably not going to put it back in

with the shaved ham. I hope. But it will keep it cold so that maybe someone working there can be like... I wouldn't put it past New Zealand supermarkets to get the tongs out and tong it back into the pile of shaved ham. Well, they need to save money because they're barely making any.

Yeah. Mix it up and mix it through so you can't tell. Have you ever found sidestep? May I sidestep? No, sidebar. I was going to sidestep? May I sidestep? No, sidebar. I was going to sidestep. No, it's actually a sidebar. Sidesteps are in rugby.

Okay, well, I'll go the other way and sidebar. Okay, thank you. May I sidebar? Have you ever picked up someone- Permission for digression, I think, is the new term we should use. What? Permission for digression.

May I digress? May I digress? May I digress? Yes. May I digress? You may. Okay, digress. Because we're toying with that as our new tagline. Instead of laugh out louder, Fletchford and Hayley, we digress. We digress. But we digress May I digress Because we're toying with that as our new tagline

Instead of laugh out louder Fletchford and Hayley we digress May I digress Have you ever gone to a supermarket And seen someone abandon either like a pick and mix Specific wait out thing and thought That's just the right thing for me and taken it No

I have I remember seeing Some abandoned nuts And you know Like a pick and mix nuts Yeah And I was like Actually they're spot on With that amount

I'll just grab that Yeah It was abandoned Near the bread or something And I was like Actually Doing the lord's work there Yeah thank you very much

Yeah nice Anyway so this bag Was abandoned by the baby wipes And then this whole Online trend started Of she deserves a handbag And people started Slipping like little Five, $1 bills into baby items around the world.

Being like, you know, these mums, they're working so hard raising their kids. I beg your pardon, actually. The mums and the dads. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Cancelled. At the first break of the show.

It sucks. Yeah. All right. Well, goodbye. But leaving little things being like, of the show. It sucks. Yeah. All right. Well, goodbye. But leaving little things being like, hey, you deserve a treat. Yeah. Leaving little cash around. Now, humans.

Where's my treats? I'm working hard raising children over here. You don't need anything. I'm raising. Get out. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. Oh, what about some kudos? I'll take it.

Kudos to you. So now humans have ruined this nice trend. That was a nice little idea that we did, act of kindness for a stranger. Now people are getting to the parenting aisle with all the baby wipes and stuff, and it's already like all torn apart. Yeah, like...

Wait, so people are like ferreting through it? Like there's treasure in it? Because do you know... Yeah, that's so bad. You know if something's in a box, it might have a seal on it, but you could slip a note in the side? Yeah, yeah, totally.

So people are ripping those open. Yeah, so they're getting to these aisles and now the new tagline is like, can't we just have nice things? We can't just have nice things, can we? Yeah. Oh, those silly gooses. So people are just like, oh, this is a trend.

I wonder if I could get my hands on some cash and tear it apart. Has it been happening in New Zealand? I can see here it's in Australia. Okay, oh, this is a trend. I wonder if I could get my hands on some cash and tear it apart. Has it been happening in New Zealand? I can see here it's in Australia. Okay, oh, wow. So no doubt this is happening here in New Zealand as well. Although we're kind of like, we're so FPOS, aren't we now? It's hard to kind of leave a, like, what do you leave your FPOS card on top of a baby formula?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe parents could walk around with like a little scanning thing attached to them and you could just go up and tap them like that and be like, you're doing great. Five buck. Oh, like they've got, okay, I like that. You know those little like pay wave things? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a little pay wave tag on them if you're a parent. Well, thank you the internet for ruining another great thing. Thank you. I've been actually working out pretty hard in the last couple of weeks. You have. You've been, you know, publicly I shall commend you on your dedication to this. Yeah, I'm so jaded to go sideways through the door today. You've celebrated today by dressing like Pebbles Flintstone.

A little bit. Yabba dabba doo. Yabba dabba doo. But one thing I've noticed as a result of this extra sweatiness is I've got a few, you know, like body pimps. Like I've got a couple like where my bra sits and stuff like that. And again, it's a little bit yuck, you know, and I'm trying to get out of my gym leggings ASAP

because we are going for a fourth summer no thrush, you know. So we've got to get it aerated. I believe in you. You can do this. Thank you so much. Your support means the world to me and my genitals. Sure. So I was in the shower and I've been doing some good scrubs

and I just want to really clarify where the groin stops and the thigh begins because this was a pimple I would call inner thigh, outer groin. Fanny adjacent. Fanny adjacent. But it's definitely not bikini line. It's not a fanny pimple. Fanny adjacent. Fanny adjacent. But it's definitely not bikini line. It's not a fanny pimple. It's not a fanny pimple, okay?

Just want to clarify the positioning of said pimple. This is something you'd... I mean, if I had a pimple there, I wouldn't tell you two. I wouldn't tell the world. I don't know why I'm talking right now. I don't know how we got here. This would be why my auntie at the weekend,

because my auntie stayed with my mum at the end of last week, and obviously mum has the radio show on. You're not about to tell us about your auntie at the weekend because my auntie stayed um with my mum at the end of last week and obviously mom has the right to tell us about your auntie's fanny pimple because mum listens to the show my auntie heard the show and she doesn't normally listen and she said god hayley she really she really puts it out there she really tells everybody a lot it's wild yeah hence the fanny pimple Why am I talking Why are you talking Like why are you saying this

We could just punch out I like it I think it makes her Relatable Relatable Hashtag relatable Thank you You know

Thank you There's too many women In radio That are perfect And what we've found Is one that's not Exactly And isn't it refreshing

It's refreshing It's good to have a Isn't it refreshing? It's refreshing. It's good to have a minger on the show. It's great to have a minger. A manky minger. Yeah, it's fantastic. And you know what? There's mingers everywhere that have never been represented on the radio. Thank you.

Because until you came along, every woman on the radio was perfect. With your adjacent fanny pimple. So I've got a fanny adjacent pimple. And you know what? Preach, sister. My brother, thank you. And I just thought, because I'm in the shower, it looked like the kind of pimple that needed a little assistance.

And I know that I shouldn't do this. And all dermatologists will be like, Hayley, that's so terrible. Why are you doing that? So many times I make a pimple that is not even a pimple so much worse. I know. And then it's like a problem for months. But I was like, I'm just going to give it a little worse. I know, and then it's like a problem for months. But I was like, I'm just going to give it a little squeeze.

It doesn't look like it, needs much. And so I got my fingernails, which are quite long, but I was in the shower, so they were clean. And I pinched it like this. And what, I will call it a propellant. Yeah, dude. Love that. I love when it squirts in the mirror.

When it's on your face and you're like, whoop. This did that, but to the nth degree. And then you grab one square of toilet paper and rub it off. Yes, yes, yes. But I was in the shower, no mirror, and I'm not here to brag, but my shower was rather large because it's a double shower. It went from my end of the shower all the way to the other end.

And I was like, where'd that go? And I had to hunt for it so I could hose it down. With the shower head. With the shower head. It was impressive. It's going to clog your drain today. No, it wasn't that much. It's going to harden in the pipes.

Spurt it. No, I made sure to get rid of it while it was still wet. Well, thank you for being relatable and manky. Do you know what? I'm just the voice for the everyday manky minger woman. Right. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Hello there. Oh, yuck, granddad. Why don't you come and sit on granddad's knee and he'll read you six things. Oh, I don't want to, Pop.

Oh, come on now. Come on now. You used to. Stop it. Stop it. You used to love that when you were little. Grandad. Oh, come on now.

He's got dementia. It's okay. We don't know how long we've got on this earth. Okay, Grandad. I'm not voting for another bloody woman. I hate him. Bloody hell. I don't like this character.

I don't want to visit Grandad anymore. You know who's ruining this country? Now, Kmart. I'll tell you. Now, Kmart in Australia. Bloody immigrants. We don't like this character. You know what?

I don't like immigrants and I don't like natives. No one can win with me. Okay. Grandad's cancelled. Kmart. Yeah, he's gone. Kmart has some new technology in Australia. When you walk into the changing rooms, it tells you what you've taken in.

No, it's an RFID. Radio Frequency Identification, RFID. So they're saying there's not a camera, there's not some smart AI thing in the corner that's scanning you and being like, we know what you've got, Susan. Don't you dare try to steal. Although that's kind of,

that's what it is for. That's kind of what it's for, yeah. It's like when retail stores will be like, how many items have you got there? And they'll give you a thing that says five. Yeah. And it's just, it's kind of a mental thing to be like,

hey, we know. We know. We're keeping an eye on things. So I didn't know this, Kmart's been doing stock take using RFID. Oh, wow. Have you ever done a stock take?

Oh my god, it's the worst thing. We did it as a fundraiser. Yeah, our hockey team used to go into Morrinsville Countdown and be like, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. If you found one where the packet was open, you had to tell them. Or eat it was open, you had to tell them.

Or eat it. No, you had to tell them. Oh, you had to tell them. And then they'd be like, oh, put it in the pile and then at the end, oftentimes it was like, what are you doing with that one? Because I want that. I want to eat that. I want that one.

I opened that so I could eat it later. So they say, we're not spying on you. People are like, oh, came not spying on you. People are like, oh, Kmart's spying on me. I'm all like, oh, yeah, they really care that you're buying a three-cent pair of pants. I've never been into the change. Yeah, they want to see your manky boots. Yeah, sure. Show us you.

Oh, yeah, cool. I've never been into the Kmart changing room because I've never thought, do I need to take off my boots and my pants to try on this $5 pair of pants or am I just going to roll the dice on this $5 pair of pants? Yeah, I roll the dice a lot of the time.

I think I might have tried on maybe one or two things, but yeah. Well, I have the top six advancements in Changing Room and Changing Room technology that we really need. Okay.

Number six on the list, a virtual BFF or gay bestie in the corner with compliments on the clothes you're trying on. Oh, my God. Yeah. Good stuff.

It's giving queen. We love this. Yeah. It's giving big slay. Yeah. I'm not a gay man. I'm trying. You ate and left.

No crumbs. Yes. I love this. Oh, my God. That would really make me feel good. Yeah. Really good. As a woman who has cried in a changing room before.

Yeah. But then sometimes I just think they're lying to you because they want the sale, you know? Oh, that's why this isn't retail. You work in retail. Yeah, this is a bestie. Technology is your bestie. Okay, yeah. They've got your best interest at heart, not Kmart's or the shop.

Unless you're the duff of the group, then they want you to look bad. Okay, so they look better by comparison. Yeah. Who's the Duff and Val group? Should we go three, two, one and say it? No, don't. No. It was already said.

It was already said. Wow. Wow. You guys weren't really picking up on the hints, you Duff. It's more than that. Is it more? I'm not engaging in this. It's Hayley, right?

Let's just do me for safety. We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six advancements in changing room technology we really need. A special lighting rig where the light reads your skin tone and adjusts the lighting so that you aren't blinded by your own pale parts in the mirror

when the fluoro down light hits you like a disco ball. Down light, every woman's worst fear. You're like, I'm aware of where my cellulite is. No, I'm not. It's there as well. The down light's like, allow me to cast a shadow over any slight crease or bump in your skin. I know.

It's awful. I always, I'll be in changing rooms and I'll know when the lighting design was done by a man. Because you're like, you have not thought this out, my dude. Really? Yeah, on women, it's just, oh. This is why I want to see more women in STEM. Science, technology, engineering, maths.

Because then they'll be in charge of designing. That's right. They'll be in charge of light design. Yeah. It's all good. And we can stop crying in changing rooms. Yes. Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six advancements in changing room technology that we really need, a timer that is kind of like ticking up and filling up, and when it gets to the top, that's how frustrated your partner is with how long you're f-ing taking to try things on, to walk out and say, what does this look like?

To which he'll say, fine. And you'll be like, fine? And then walk back in and then spend 20 more minutes trying on shit that he doesn't care. Can it give you updates? Like he's pacing and then it goes on. He's sitting. He's sitting.

He's found something that's not really a seat, but he's sat on it. Yes, yes. He's left. He's gone. He's going. And here he comes. Hey, I might just go down and just walk around for a bit.

Yeah. Yeah. I might go down and see if farmers have got any undies on special. The only thing we'll ever go to farmers for. Yeah. See if they've got jockeys on special. Number three on the list of the top six advancements in changing room technology we really need.

An AI voice assistant that asks you how you're going for sizes in there. And a nice forgiving tone where you definitely thought you were a 34, but there's no way you're a 34 anymore. And they knew it going on. And they knew it. They knew it, yeah. But they wanted to let you just take the 34 in. Yeah, and you take the 34 in and then the AI thinks,

how are we going for sizes in there? And like a nice tone. And then you're like, fine, thanks. And then they just slip a 38 under anyway. 38. Yeah. They knew.

They knew. Yeah. They saw it. Number two on the list of the top six advancements in changing room technology a volume knob for that often

obnoxiously loud terrible music. God sometimes eh. Because it's hard everything's hard in there hard walls mirrors everything's hard hard lights it's walls, mirrors, everything's hard. Hard lights. It's just like dig, dig, dig.

It bounces out horrible. It's a fever train. Turn it out. And number one on the list of the top six advancements in charging room technology that we really need, an escape hatch so you don't have to walk back through the store and explain to every single person who works there that wants to stop you and ask you how you're going that you hated every single thing you tried

on and it's not a good day for you! You just pull the hatch. It's so good. Like one of those Hydra slides with the trap door. Yes! And then you pop out at Nonny's! Pop out at Nonny's with some nuts! You pop out at Nonny's!

Not today! That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Mine, Pa Pa. My father is up, stayed last night. My dad's real funny like, doesn't like leaving my mum for the night.

She's looking after the farm. Doesn't he ever just want like some time? Never. You hate going away, Hayley. You hate going away. I hate it. You need your little snuggles. I need your little snuggles. I need my little snuggles.

And I am just tethered at the hip with my partner, as you know. Yeah. I love. You love a night away. A night away. Yeah, yeah. No, my parents don't. They've never.

So he stayed the night last night and we've been working on a little project. And after dinner I cooked him a steak, that blew his mind because it was a home kill so it was a cow that was on his place. Right. But when they get home kill they get like rolled roasts, sausages and mints. Yeah.

Silverside, corn silverside. Boom and meals. We talked about Ross. Tofari home kill. Shout out Ross. Stop giving Ross free mentions. Nah, I'm giving Ross free mentions. How talked about Ross. Tofari home kill. Shout out Ross. Stop giving Ross free mentions. No, I'm giving Ross free mentions. How much is Ross paying this company? Because when I got the home kill sheet,

he asked me how thick I wanted my steaks cut, and I said, can I have them four centimetres thick? And he said, no problem. He cut me thick. Hayley and I haven't got a single sausage out of this Ross guy. Actually, that's right. I'm going to bring you some mints. I've got so much mints, I don't know what to do with myself. I love mints.

I love some mints. Should we split a log of mints, a Costco log? We still want to keep split of mints? I don't need a Costco log. I've got my own mints. No, because Vaughan's got his own mints logs. You can come and see my Costco log. It's small.

It's smaller than a Costco log. It's a little meat still. I think home kill mints, for me, it's a bit strong. I don't know what it is. Right. In my experience of having home kill. It's not being watered down and sprinkled with MSGs or whatever. Yeah, something like that.

You're used to your supermarket mince. Yeah. Where was I? I cooked him steak. Yeah. And he was like, bloody hell, that's a good steak, isn't it? Proud of your son. Yeah.

Because steaks in our house were beaten to within an inch of their life and then cooked well done. After dinner, while I was doing work for this place, he sat down with Indian August, my daughters and my wife, and they watched that Australian show where people go on the run and a team of experts hunt them. Hunted. Hunted.

You know what would make that show better is at the end they kill them. Whoa. Yeah. There's a real survival. Stakes. The stakes are higher. They should have a little blood packet under their shirt the whole time and if the police can... Like the Squid Game reality show they did

there. Yeah, when they chase them and they can choose to gun them down and it's just like a little fake gun and then the blood packet goes... Yeah, that'd be cool. But this show just blew my dad's mind. And that's why my dad has always been, because he's a simple man. He's been a farmer since he was like 20-something.

He was a builder before that. Like, anything creative blows his mind. He's like, fair go, which is a family saying. Yeah. Fair go. Oh, wow. Are they going to catch them? Like, he's really excited the whole time he's watching it. And he's great to watch

TVs and movies, especially movies with stunts. Yeah. Oh! Like he's just like bloody hell. I wish I could be like that. I'm too cynical. I know. Oh my god, you should bring him to my live comedy show tonight. He would love it. It's all about erotica

and pornography. You know, he's not as well. I don't think he'd love this. Even just, he It's all about erotica and pornography You know he's not That's not his way of Please can you take it Oh my god Don't think He'd love this Even just He hasn't listening

To the radio at the moment But he can feel He's got to go home for some reason And that would be it Really? The Fletcher's parents saw my last show And they survived that one This one's a little bit more

I think this one's a little bit more Last time was about your body Yeah which was a bit full on Yeah But this time's a bit more more. Last time was about your body. Yeah, which was a bit full on. Yeah, but this time's a bit more about the... The sexy. Yeah, the sexy stuff. I think it would blow Ian's mind. It would blow Ian's mind.

He'd be like, you'd hear him in the crowd. Oh, crikey. Big! Big! Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. I've received confirmation this morning that my day is not ruined. And in fact, I am not going to have to take two weeks of bereavement leave because I thought my cat was dead.

Don't laugh. You think you would get two weeks off work because your cat died? It's not what I would get. It is what I would take. That's why he laughed. He didn't laugh at the fact that your cat might be dead. He laughed at the fact you think you're entitled to two weeks pet bereavement. I don't even think if a human dies, I think you get five days.

Don't you? I'm actually, I am actually the boss of my own life. And I'll be taking however much leave I need when the day comes that Raleigh leaves this mortal coil. Can you try to coincide it with annual leave? I just feel like that would be detrimental to the show. Maybe if he's not looking good, you put him down just before Christmas. No, I'm not doing that. He will die and I will get extra leave to grieve.

We've literally worked for managers that would actually say that to you. Seriously? Not a word of a lie. My nana died when just

as annual leave was starting and they were relieved. Oh my God. Because I was like, She didn't time it for my holiday dough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

In fact, my nana was such a love, she loved me so much. If she knew I was about to go on holiday, I don't think she would have died then. Oh, really? She would have waited till I had a full week of work. Exactly.

Yeah. Right on a Monday, funeral on a Friday. And that's now why Vaughan will always tell his one alive Nana. Marlene. Marlene, his annual leave. Yeah. She's hanging in there for... She's got my iCal. We've seen iCal. Well, that's good. Yeah. She's hanging in there for... She's got my iCal.

We've seen iCal. Well, that's good. Yeah. She won't die before any important appointments or any annual leave. Well, that's good. No, I'm not. That's good of her.

Well, it is good. Well, like, Raleigh... Why did you think your cat was dead? Because he didn't come home for a day and he had been a bit out of sorts. No, but this is very out of character for him. Okay. He's only done it a couple of times in his life

and he didn't come home. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And then I had to go to bed and I'd done my show, came home, I was like, I really need to go to bed. But I was like, I'm going to quickly do a little, one of those sort of morbid laps around the block where you drive really slow with your windows down and the headlights on looking for a grey lump

on the side of the road. Raleigh! Raleigh! Raleigh! So if you live in my area, I'm so sorry, but I was. So you weren't casing the joint because people might have thought you were just. I was cruising. Yeah, like 10 kilometres an hour.

Raleigh! Raleigh! Anyway, no, he was in the garage. And we went. You locked him in the garage? Yeah, we went up to the garage and opened the garage doors and stuff. He didn't come out. Well, he's pretty sleeping.

It's really nice and warm in here. Maybe hungry. Stupid idiot. Anyway, he's alive. Alive and well. Right, so you were crying around the neighbourhood doing laps. Crying around it for nothing. For nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know. So I don't need to take that two weeks

bereavement leave for pets. Again, again, you're not getting this. You're not getting two weeks. I'm actually the boss of my own life. I will tell you how much time I need. I'm a bit of a, I like statistics. You know what I love? Infographics.

Oh, same. I love it. I love an infographic. Or an interactive infographic. Oh, that's good stuff. Live it up, hover over something, pops up.

We all filled out the census in 2023. Remember when they started paying people because they're like, guys, we don't have enough info. they were bribing people with like vouchers

for fast food. That's right. Get you a cheeseburger if you fill in this little form here because it didn't take long. I was really surprised at the census because,

you know. I always find it underwhelming. I want more. I would like to answer more questions. What are we doing? Mission census because, you know. I always find it underwhelming. I want more. I would like to answer more questions. What are we doing? Missionary. Do you know what I mean? Let's get into the detail. Find out who we really are as a nation.

Right. Yeah, like more questions. Have you ever done this? You said missionary like there were other options. I don't know. Missionary felt fine to say at 7 o'clock in the morning. It does. Doggy not as much. Do you know what I mean? So I was filtering. I don't even. Missionary felt fine to say at 7 o'clock in the morning, doggy not as much. Do you know what I mean? So I was filtering.

I don't even know what that is. Well, these questions were not in the census. Okay, let's get through the boring stuff. Age population. New Zealand's population is getting older. How many people over 60? Was it a million? Tons.

That's a lot. 34%... Oh, no, that's... That's good. Thames Coromandel is the oldest area in New Zealand, which surprises me. I mean, Thames itself, there's quite a... That's good. Thames Coromandel is the oldest area in New Zealand, which surprises me. I mean, Thames itself, there's quite a few old people in. Yeah.

But living on the... Because no one is going to afford to live in Coromandel. It's oldies who have bought years ago. 34% of people who are permanent residents are over 65. Right. My mum's over 65. She is, actually. She's going into pension and loving it. My mum's over 65. Right. My mum's over 65. She is actually. She's going into pension and loving it.

My mum's over 65 too. Your mum's harsh. New Zealand's population is getting older. The average median age in 2018 was 37.4. Now it's 38.1. Oh my god, I'm young. I'm younger than the most of New Zealand. Younger than the middle. Younger than the middle bits. Not for long.

Shut up. A few more years. Population growth. It looks like South Canterbury had the biggest population growth. Oh, yeah. Sort of central Otago, Queenstown, Lakes area, that grew as well.

We're going to be in Queensland and Wanaka for my birthday next week. And Wanaka's exploded. Yeah, it has. When you go back even like five years, it's insane. One million,

with almost one million New Zealanders claiming Maori ancestry. Kia ora. Kia ora. 12 and a half more than the 2018 census. Do you reckon

that's to do with the fact that people used to only tick that if they were Maori presenting? Yes. When it used to be like all about blood quantum, how, you know,

half or full or whatever. Yeah. Now it's like if you've got maori blood you're maori yeah yeah you'll be like yeah well i am yeah yeah uh auckland's got the lowest home ownership rates yeah i think you're about to say homosexuals i was like i don't know i don't think so we're getting we're getting into that the more exciting ones gay as um uh Most houses have heat pumps, which I really liked. I still want to do our phone-in topic, when did you first see a heat pump? I've been trying to get this one across the line

for weeks. When did you first see a heat pump? The first time I saw one, I'll tell you what, blew my mind. When was it? It was at broadcasting school in the year 2000, which was quite early for heat pumps, I think. Yeah, we didn't have them at high school or anything like that.

No, no. I'd never seen one. We had radiators. They had one in their house. So I grew up with open fire. Yeah, same. Most people have internet access. Nine out of ten people have access to the internet in New Zealand in 2023 census.

This is cool. Wow. Half of New Zealanders no longer have a religion. More than half, which has been increasing over time. Heathens, see you in hell. You'll be there with them. Sounds like fun. What a party.

So the number of Christians dropped off quite largely, but they're still the most prominent religion. Okay. Two-thirds of homes have a heat pump. Dramatic drop in the use of the heat pump thing. Landlines. What's up with thumbing your heat pump stuff in here? Just love a heat pump.

I had to turn my heat pumps on before I left. Pumps? Oh, well, must be nice. Must be nice. But with my new Samsung heat pumps, I can turn them on via an app anywhere in the world. Wow. Thank God, man.

Now, I didn't have that on the heat pumps back in the year 2000. No. Yeah, that is fast. I don't even have apps back then. He's on big heat pump money, isn't he? He is on big heat pump. If you had said apps in the year 2000, I would assume you were trying to make apples cool.

Yeah. Do you ever just, like, make the house cold for your wife just to be like, heh heh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep her on her toes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep her brain away. Get up.

Yeah, yeah, get up, get out of bed. Yeah. No, because she'll just stay in bed longer If it's cold I'm gonna make the house Too hot Sweaty Sweat her out Sweat her out

Smoke her out Landlines The massive drop off In landlines 2018 62% of houses Had landlines In 2023

Only 31% of houses Have landlines Chatham Islands How cute is this Chatham Islands 73% of people Still have a landline. Bad reception maybe. Must be.

Must be bad reception. Get to the gay stuff. How we get to work is another one. Wellington has the highest public transport use, 19% of Wellingtonians, whereas only 9.5% of Aucklanders get to public transport. Yeah.

The Wellington, not only do they, maybe there's correlation here. Yeah. But I'm not saying causation. Also the highest proportion of adults identifying as belonging to the LGBTQI plus community in some way or another. Really? Yeah. I would have thought Auckland just purely based on population numbers. No, it's percentage.

I guess proportion is percentage, right? Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah, but population numbers, Auckland's... Gays everywhere. Riddled with the gays. So how many lesbians are there? 419. Is that what they said?

No, you forgot Susan. So 420. 420. Lesbians are actually more popular than ever. Okay. Yeah. Which is great for us. Fantastic, will you?

We are the station of choice of lesbians. We are. Good morning to our lesbian listeners. Good morning. Yeah. We love you. That's something. So 0.7% of adults identified as transgender.

Now that sounds like a tiny amount. That's 26,000 people in New Zealand. Wow. That is still a very small percentage. So 4.9% of people identified with Rambo or LGBTQI plus communities. Yeah.

And that says in the spin-off article, not including other important members of the Rambo community like straight boyfriends of bi girls. Or, yeah, or guys that like to dabble when their girlfriend's not home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know a few of those. Guys that'll put it there but aren't gay.

Not in a gay way. It's not in a gay way. South African-born population up by 34%. 28% of people. Good morning to our South African listeners. Yeah. In the car. In the car.

Driving to work in the car. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. What? Steak for breakfast. Just like back home in Joburg. That's right. I like to eat the meat in the car.

Maybe we need to take a look at these new statistics out from the census and build our radio show around it. Around who's actually in the country. Maybe we need a segment for our South African listeners. That's right. We call it Meat of the Week. Meat of the Week. Right. Meat of the Week. And it's actually just always built on. Yeah. Always. And they'll love it.

Always. Always. Right. We will cook up for you a really specific South African segment that we're going to thumb into our show every morning. Because we know we've got a very large South African. And it will be presented by Mr. Sweetie Man. That's right.

Mr. Sweetie Man. Member me, Mr. Sweetie Man. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Today, right here, right now What was that song? Right here, right now That was the song

Chemical Brothers? Right here, right now Was, no Can you play the background? Right here Right here Right now. That was the song. Right here. Chemical Brothers? Right here. Right now. Can you play in the background? Right here. Right here. Right now. Right now.

Right here. Right now. Right on time. Fat Boy Slim? Chemical Brothers. Chemical Brothers. Chemical Brothers. I'll just wait.

I'll wait for you. We could just have a nice quiet moment. I'll wait. No, Fat Boy Slim. Yeah, I knew it. Yeah, I said Fat Boy Slim, didn't I? Yes, I did. You doubled down on Chemical Brothers.

Get to the good bit. Why, you want to fast forward it? Oh, yeah. Right here. Right now. Right here. Right now. Right here.

Right now. Right here. Also, can I say... I'm just going to suggest that for Friday Flashback. Hijack. Oh! Because it's your pick today. Is it my pick today?

Yeah. Oh, how does it pop off? Yeah. Pull it down, pull it down, pull it down. Some Fatboy Slim. Yeah, good. Because, you know,

my favourite podcast, 60 Songs That Explain the 90s, is back. It's now called 60 Songs That Explain the 90s, colon,

the 2000s. I'm so excited. It's the one out this week. Mr. Brightside. And it's Mr. Brightside by The Killers. It's a good podcast. I can't listen to it because it reminds me of lockdown walks. Oh, really?

I used to listen to it during lockdown. They're triggering doing it. Yeah, there was me in heavyweight. Oh, my God. That's another good podcast. Well, it's done. It's done now. Hey, I know another good podcast.

Wait, is it on the iHeartRadio app, Vaughn? Sure is. Oh, my gosh. If you don't have the iHeartRadio app, what do you do? You got rocks in your head? That's a last-minute KPI pickup from Sproul and Fletcher running it for the tri-line, pass it to Smith. That's right.

It's a KPI car. If you have to get out of the car now and you miss the rest of the show, you can listen to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast on iHeartRadio or wherever you podcast. You're getting out of your car now, but you can continue to listen to something on your device. You can also listen on iHeartRadio live. You can listen to the show live. And you can send us a voice note on that.

It's amazing. We actually get a lot of messages of people being like, oh, I'm loving the show, but I've got to get out of the car and go to work. I'm gutted. I know. Well, there you go. Don't go to work. The country doesn't need it. Problem is solved.

There we go. Anyway, today's still a little poll. Have you ever travelled somewhere because you saw it on social media? 51% said yes. 49% said no. How close? I've definitely gone to a country or been in the area and looked up tags and photos and be like, well, that looks like a nice beach.

I don't think I have but you know well you set yourself up for disappointment I love those Instagram reels that's right not TikToks

I love those Instagram reels that are like travel expectation and it shows some beautiful reality and it's some line of influences with a tripod

and a ring light because they want to do a waterfall picture it's all brown so a travel study looked into this and found that 65% of travellers use social media for trip planning. You also made a purchase or a visit based on content they saw online.

I mean, it's a great tool. Is that similar to our results, 65%? No. No, it's 50-50. It was 50-50. 49-51. Open your ear holes. Were you not listening? No, I was not. I was trying was 50-50. 49-51. Open your ear holes. Were you not listening?

No, I was not. I was trying to find the story. Oh, yeah. Rihanna said, a pink lake in Spain that was definitely not pink. It was in the middle of nowhere too. Oh, okay. So she went because she heard about it.

That sounds like the lake was filtered. Yeah. It made it look pink. Em says, in my early 20s, I would type a location into Instagram and check the photos with that tag to see where I should go for the best Insta pic.

It was especially handy to get the proper Eiffel Tower shot without all the people and the whole interrupted view of the tower. But that was before accurate geolocation was a thing, so I had to walk around Paris trying to identify the streets from photos. Oh, Okay.

Really wanted that good shot. Me too, Em. In my early 20s, we had a little thing called Polaroid cameras. Boy, boy, don't tell yourself. I tell you what, we used to walk around Paris with our Polaroid cameras. I've never been to Paris.

Ash said, planning to do this next week, off to Rotorua for a mini honeymoon and going straight to O'Kerry Falls for their award winning toastie. Yeah, good toastie. I haven't had it.

I haven't considered food. Yep. Seeing it on Instagram. 100%. Oh yeah, that's big, eh? Massive. Like donut places and stuff that go pop off on Instagram.

Sam McCarthy said, I don't know why I said the full name, but I have. That's alright. Went for a swim with the pigs in the Bahamas just because it looked so good online,

and it was. Yeah, I did that. You've done that. I've done that. It's pretty cool. The water is just insanely clear. Yeah. If I see it on social media

as being a really popular place, it means it's a place to avoid because of queues and too many people. By the Coliseum, where I wish to recite, I am Maximus Decimus. Yeah, there's people. By the Coliseum where I wish to recite I am Maximus Decimus. There's some places like the Coliseum you just know that there are going to be lines. You just have to. You just have to do it.

You just try to get in at an early time or something. Louise said, yes, this is why I'm going to Fremantle, Perth in Australia. It looks gorgeous. You look gorgeous. Gorgeous. Thank you. Me or her? Her. Not yet, but we will when we go to Europe at the end of the year says Samantha. Gorgeous. You look gorgeous. Gorgeous. Thank you. Me or her? Her. Yeah.

Not yet, but we will when we go to Europe at the end of the year, says Samantha. Europe. At the end of the year, in winter. Looking for a... Yeah, I've done a Europe winter. It's beautiful. I bet it is. A white Christmas would be something. Yeah, you get all the Christmas markets.

You don't get a lot of light. No, no. You've got to start all your sightseeing pretty early. Not yet, says Brittany. Not Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Not yet, says Brittany. Not Brittany. Brittany. Brittany. Brittany.

Not yet, but about to. Saw Fletch post about Syme Hut in Taranaki, and the last two times I've gone, the weather wasn't good. Fingers crossed this December the weather's perfect for a hike to Syme. Yeah, that is a beautiful hut. It's on the sticky out bit of Mount Taranaki. And you can use the code FLETCH10 to get 10% off your booking with Doc.

I don't think that hut does bookings, so you've got to be the first up there to get one of the 10 bunks. Where's that one? The Pork Eye? No, Slime Hut. Around the other side. Yeah, but it's very cold. There's no fire. You have to

go in summer and you have to have all your thermals. That's crazy. My whole trip around New York City two months ago was based from TikTok and Instagram, says Wendy. From Crumble. The cookie place we talked about. Oh, yeah. They had the rip off Sydney one.

Yeah, but that's an American thing. To Raising Cane's, which my daughters will not stop talking about. What is it? I don't know. Is it a burger place or something? Oh, okay. It's like a little... Apparently it's got a sauce and you can make a burger place or something? Oh, okay. It's like a little, apparently it's got a sauce

and you can make a home version of a sauce. Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers is an American fast food restaurant. Surprise, surprise. My children would like to travel internationally

to eat chicken fingers. This is why you leave them at home, Vaughan. Yeah. Jesus. Don't waste money on them. In Soho, we're going to watch

the Yankees play and even go to the Broadway shows we've seen recommended online. That's a full travel itinerary based off social media. So there you go. That's today's silly little poem. Who's picked for Friday Flashback? Vaughan.

We've established. We've established it and we know what we're doing. It's our Fatboy Slim song? It's our Fatboy Slim song. Okay, great. Excited. And now, yesterday I had to have an MRI. A murai.

Murai. An MRI. You've had one? I've had two an MRI, a murai. Murai. An MRI. You've had one? An MRI, a carry. I've had two within the last month. Yeah. One on my spine, one on my knee. You guys missed my great joke.

An MRI, a carry. No, we heard an MRI carry. And you go in and it starts going. We actually had both heard the joke. Don't want to live for Christmas. You've never had one, right? Nope. Because they are.

Because I'm unstoppable. I'm unbeatable. It sounds like some kind of German. I'm ignoring it. It sounds like some kind of German trance-y whirring. Right about now. Funk soul, brother. It is, and it changes.

It changes. It whirs. It's very loud. And for those who don't know what an MRI machine, you might have seen one on like a medical show or, I don't know, do they have them on Grey's Anatomy? Yeah. Probably.

Like a big donut, and they insert you into the big long donut. It's magnets. And it's magnets. So you're not allowed to have any earrings or like piercings. Otherwise they just get ripped out. What if you've got like an implant? Well, they ask you. They can change it or something like that to make it.

Yeah, I know. How do they do that? The questionnaire was like, do you have any bullets lodged in your skull or in your body? Shrapnel. And I was like, no, but how cool would it be to say, yeah, I've got a bullet in me. Yeah, I do, man.

I don't think it would be cool to say, I've got a bullet in me because you've been shot at some stage and the bullet's still in you. You're alive to say it. But the machine can literally rip them out. But the thing is, and it wasn't as stressful when I got my lower back done. This was for my shoulder.

So your head's right in there? So my head's right in there and they put a thing against your shoulder and, you know, they insert you into the machine and you've got to stay really still. I know. And you don't know how long. It's a long time. It's a long time. It's like half an hour you're in there and they run a whole

series of things. And so my one was at four o'clock and I was like, oh, I'm kind of hungry and then I don't want to be in there hungry. So I was like, well, I'll just, I'm at the mall. I'll just get a domburi bowl. Chicken teriyaki. Of course it is chicken teriyaki, boy. Chicken teriyaki is to

Japan what butter chicken is to India. It is not representative of the culture or the cuisine, but you white boys love it. So I'm like, okay, I've got 15 minutes. I can order this Donbury teriyaki chicken and I can get to the appointment. Yeah. I'm like.

He eats fast. I ate that chicken Donbury bowl, medium size, two portions of teriyaki chicken very quickly and then hoofed it to the appointment. Yeah. And then, so I'm in the machine, you put the gown on, you take off all your clothes, you just got your undies and this weird gown on in the machine. Did you keep your bra on?

You take that off. I took mine off because it's got metal on it. Yeah. And then, so I've got to, and she's like, stay really still. And then I'm just like, and then I feel the Donbury chicken bowl just like sitting right here. It hasn't gone down. It hasn't gone down.

And me, the chicken teriyaki Donbury bowl. It's because you eat so fast. He eats so fast. And then I'm like, I can feel my breathing. And every time I breathe, I'm like, I can feel my shoulder move, which it shouldn't be moving because I'm getting the MRI and they're like stay still and then I'm like

I'm breathing too much, I'm breathing too much and I start freaking myself out and the machine's like woo woo woo woo It's a lot, it's awful Yeah and then like the teriyaki won't go down and I'm just like and then the machine the first round stopped and I was like How many rounds are there?

Heaps. Like maybe ten? How long does each round last? Some of them were two, some of them were four, five. And then she came on halfway through. She's like, you're doing really good there. Just stay really still. I'm like, okay, so I'm not doing really well.

Did she say you're doing well because you were? Well, I don't know. And then so I'm just like. Well, they've got a camera. There's a camera above there that sees your face because they can see if you're being like, oh, I don't like this, I don't like this. Oh, my God.

I would have looked so stressed because I was just like, every time I was breathing in, I could just feel my shoulder move and I was like, stop moving, stop moving. So you're like. And then I got that, we're just going to have to do a round again. And I was like, I'm breathing too much. And then that stressed me out more. It's so stressful.

It's so stressful. I know some people can't go in them because they're claustrophobic. Oh, God, yeah. I can understand that. Last time I was in for my knee, I did knee and thigh. So I did two rounds in one session. It was awful. And I was at the tail end of a cold, but I didn't want to say it. Yeah. I did knee and thigh. So I did two rounds in one session. It was awful. And I was at the tail end of a cold,

but I didn't want to say it. Yeah. Because I didn't want them to be like, it's COVID. And it wasn't. Yeah. But I, you know,

when you're lying down and you, my throat kept catching on a cough. Yeah. And so I'd be like, and I was like, I'm like trying not to cough. Trying not to move. And then every time it would stop,

you'd be like, it's terrible that's horrible it's torture they're awful things but magical you see right through the like bird's eye view

through your body through your brain do they give you the whole thing when you finish well they focus on our area

but because I got my spine done they look through the top of your spine it's insane eh it's amazing modern medicine? It's amazing. Modern medicine. It's so amazing.

I like Eastern and Western medicine. I like little needles in the toes and I like to get into a big magnet machine. Yep. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. A professional hacker. It's sort of a weird thing.

It's contradictory, isn't it? Professional hacker. Because it's kind of un weird thing It's contradictory isn't it Professional hacker Yeah because it's kind of Unprofessional to hack Yeah but a lot of hackers They turn to the good side Yeah I've seen Catch Me If You Can

That was sort of what he did right Fraud guy Well yeah That was analogue hacking Analogue hacking Yeah This gets released quite often The top passwords you should never use

Because they're so easy to hack They're like don't reuse passwords. We got our laptops updated and all my passwords were gone. Facebook, Gmail, I had to figure those out. And it's the ones that we always know. QWERTY? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. QWERTY is actually not on this list.

Oh, yes, it is down the bottom. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 is number one. Admin? Admin. Oh456 is number one Password Admin Oh yep okay Password 12345678 1234

12345 Password 123 AA 123456 1234567890 111111 Password with a capital P

00000 Admin 123 Oh no We've seen this before You've got it You've got it like Apple The Apple devices and stuff

Are really good And like Safari Chrome all have passwords. You can save your password. So every website you can have a different password. Big, undetectable ones. Two-factor authentication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you should be doing.

One that people think they're really clever, P at S-S-W-0-R-D, so password with an A and a zero. But that's like one of the most common passwords. Okay. Anyway, but if you have these, they're like, you are likely. What are your guys' passwords? Oh. Have you got a pen?

Yep. Capital L. I'll tell you how, I'll tell you. I'll, because I've done a bit of hacking. Okay. Capital L. Yeah. At.

Yeah. M. Yeah. Three. Yeah. O. Yeah. V.

Yeah. At. Yeah. U. Capital G. H. Yeah. Lowercase at N.

Wait, that says Lamo Vaughan. One, two, three. One, two, three. It's the one, two, three that makes it a password. Exclamation mark. That's good. Lamo Vaughan, one, two, three. Lamo Vaughan, one, two, three, exclamation mark.

Yeah, good. Why? Why are you asking? I don't know. Are you crying? Did you have that password before you met me? It's weird that you met me, you had this password, and you kept it, being like, I've now met the cool guy Vaughn.

No, no, no, this is a new password. K-0-little-o-big-l. Cool. Okay. G-U-Y-Vaughn, cool guy Vaughn. Okay. Fine, I'll change it. Oh, my God, people are listening on the radio.

They'll hack me. Anyway, this is how you're going to get hacked if you have some of these lame passwords. But even if you don't, I mentioned that I thought I'd been hacked the other day, but in fact, it was just my lime scooters. I want to know how badly were you hacked? Because it happens to people all the time,

whether it's your bank account or your emails or your Facebook. Or you click a link and then you think you're logging into a website and they're just phishing you. I know. And I do believe that that Nigerian prince and I had a soul connection and that that money will find its way back to me.

Okay, well, 0800-DARLS-IT-IN. We'd love to take your calls. You can text through 9696. How badly were you scammed or hacked? And was it because you had a terrible password or they just got you? Yeah, did they get you because your password was password 1234? Yeah, exactly.

Like they literally just tried to log onto your account. It wasn't even anything you clicked. 0800-DARLESS-AT-EMERSON-UMBER-TEXT-ROOM-9696. How badly were you scammed? Right now, I'm just dabbling in a little bit of South African. Right now, we would like to know how badly you were hacked or scammed because a professional hacker has revealed the worst passwords that you could have. My goodness.

Anonymous. Good morning. What? Good morning. I cannot believe the amount that you were scammed for. I can see it on the text on the phone line here. Yeah, it wasn't a good time. What happened?

Tell us. So essentially I was called by like a really well-spoken gentleman. Yeah. He knew my bank. He knew the last four digits of my debit card. So all of that just cemented to me. He said he was from the fraud team of this bank. So all of that just, you know, sun real.

I didn't even suspect anything. And he went on to say that there had been suspicious activity on my account in Sydney and it was this online booking thing and gave me the website and they said, was that me? And I was like, no. So they had to look into it and he ended up, I can't remember if he knew my online banking login or if through like being trusted, I told him. Right.

And then he text me like a code and he was like, I just need. Right. And then he texted me, like, a code, and he was like, I just need you to read that out, and so I did. Oh. Because I was kind of trusted him. Oh, my God, they're so sophisticated, aren't they? So sophisticated. And so, unbeknown to me, while he was doing this

and checking my account, he had logged into my online banking and had kept just saying that he even actually read a few of my transactions which even just made it sound more real. Yeah, totally. I feel like I've had a legitimate conversation like this with my back, you know, to verify. Yeah, yeah.

And then all of a sudden I start, he had me on hold for a while and all of a sudden I just started to feel uneasy. Oh my God. So I quickly put him on speaker and logged into my online banking and saw he had taken $30,000 from our business account. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Another $30,000. And I freaked out and rang my partner, and he showed up at my work, and he was just so angry at me because I was just stupid. No, you weren't. These guys are professionals, man. Oh, my God. And so did they find out who took it or is it just gone forever? No, we were actually really lucky we got it back.

I couldn't believe it. Because banks can quickly reverse them, eh, and kind of get them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had us in suspense for quite some time, so it wasn't a very nice week. There were a lot of tears shed. Oh, my God. But the people were silly because they didn't transfer it

straight into, like, an account overseas. It went into another New Zealand account. Oh, okay. Yeah, so they can return it, yeah. So the bank, like, was able to stop it. But I got the feeling that they, it was kind of like a known scam or known people, but they wouldn't tell us much. Wow, that's incredible.

Oh, my God, I'm so glad you got that back. I know. Do you know what? You're anonymous. Very bravely told, because as you said, it was a horrible week thereafter. Yeah. It does make you feel stupid, doesn't it?

It makes you feel stupid, but you've probably also, someone will hear this today and it might save them from going through the same thing. And so would you recommend if you do get this call, you just hang up on them and then just actually call your bank yourself? Would that be a good way to do that? Yeah, yeah.

Because, you know, like like my partner he was so mad but I was just like it was so real yeah I just didn't even suspect oh my god that's incredible anonymous

thank you so much for sharing yeah thank you so many messages coming in we'll get to more of those next right now

we got onto the ways you've been scammed because the easy passwords yeah another one of those lists like

password1234. Yeah. Although like these are easy ways that people can get into your account. Yeah. So you've got to have good passwords. But the call we had before was a very convincing phone call. And your phone number is everywhere, as we all know. But there are some like people losing insane amounts of money.

Yeah. I'll start at the small end of things. I was scammed. I lost $1,000, but they spent it all on Google ads. I don't know how or why, but I managed to get refunded, but I had to change my card details.

Okay. So they got the card and spent it on Google. I wonder what they were advertising. Somebody said, the call you just had on, I had a very, very similar situation and lost $100,000.

I don't think if someone's actually working for a bank, do they even call you? But if somebody is actually working from a bank and they're calling you because they're worried about fraud, they're not going to be upset if you say, look, I'm going to call you back. I'm going to look up my bank number. Don't let them give you the phone number.

Don't let them give you the phone number. You get the phone number online. What's your name? What's your department? I'll call and ask phone number. Yeah. Don't let them give you the phone number. You get the phone number online. What's your name? What's your department? I'll call and ask for you. Yeah, exactly. Somebody else said, I lost over $300,000 to a scam. It was horrific.

It was the worst time of my life. The police told me it was the most sophisticated scam they'd ever seen. So you can't feel bad for it. I mean, you'd feel stupid, but you can't feel bad because it's that sophisticated. Yeah. I ended up being filmed for a documentary for Fraud Awareness Week a few years ago. That's at the start of the year, right? I don't know.

That's what they want you to think. Did they get it back? That's what you have. I don't know. It's actually in November. This recently happened to me, but I read the email with the code that they wanted, and it said at the end, the BNZ will never ask you for this code. I went to the bank, went to the bank,

put the guy on speaker so the bank could investigate him while he was doing it. Oh, wow. Oh, that's nice. That's good. That's victim becomes sort of investigator, isn't it? An 80-year-old lady, my friend works in fraud investigation. She's got the most amazing work stories.

One of our favourites is the old woman who was adamant that Jon Bon Jovi was coming to her 80th birthday party and that all his money was just tied up and they were so in love. It was so so sad. All the family tried to tell her it was a scam when my friend would call her from the bank. She would yell at her and say, you're the scammer, not Jon Bon Jovi.

It's like the other day Brad Pitt had to come out and say, I'm not asking anyone for money on WhatsApp. Come on. It's like the other day Brad Pitt had to come out and say, I'm not asking anyone for money on WhatsApp. Like, come on. On WhatsApp. It's Brad Pitt. But if Brad Pitt takes me, you know, I'd take the gamble. How much does he want?

Because it's Brad Pitt. Yeah, is he going to see me? Take it all. What's the deal? ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's a Friday tradition. We each take a turn picking a song that's at least 10 years old So this song, we just talked about this artist before

We had a different song lined up We had Right Here Right Now Which is good Right here, right now But also like 8 minutes long Because children, gather around Granddad will tell you about when songs weren't 2 minutes 15 Yeah, to maximise streaming revenue.

The only people that still do a nine-minute song are heavy metal bands. Yeah, yeah. That's it. A real artist. Anyway, this song is from 1998 that I'm going to play. You know, this guy, Fatboy Slim, the artist, but not this song. Right, yeah. No, this song.

This build-up here. It's a good build-up. Oh, my God. Should we song. This build-up here. It's a good build-up. Oh, my God. Should we go to the clubs tonight? Yeah. Oh, my God. I got him. I got him out of the house.

Is the RSA a club? It is, technically. Technically, yes. You've got to belong to it. Good pour. So this was off an album in 1998. And this artist, all he did was sample everything. Nothing in this was off an album in 1998 And this artist All he did was sample everything Nothing in this was original

Apart from The How it was all put together Can I play you a little bit of the vocal sample Absolutely Vaughn From the 1975 Wait are you telling me Yeah, from 1975. Long way together

Wait, are you telling me that he didn't even... I always thought he did that. No. I have to celebrate you, baby Wow. Oh, it's sexy. I have to praise you like I should Praise me.

Yes. Go on. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Now we're going to a different kind of club. Valor curtains. Oh, wow. A little smoky.

Someone in the corner. Yes. Camille Yalba's song, Take Your Praise, from the Iron Pot Cooker album. This is going on a playlist. This is a lovemaking song. All right, well, let's get through this hour. Today's Friday flashback.

It's Fatboy Slim's more dancey, far less sexy. Praise you. ZM. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. It's Bad Boy Slim on ZM. It's your Friday flashback. A few people have been like, Fawn, you promised Eurythmics. I'm sorry, I don't remember what I promised or what I said.

I remembered, but I didn't tell them. You didn't tell me from the rhythm you wrote. What's me next week? Well, absolutely. How dare you, sir? Well, you have to do that in a few weeks. I did promise you, Rhythmics. If you remember.

Good feedback. Asterix and Vaughan remembers. With that little sample you gave us of the original for the vocals, someone said, talk about heating up the oven, Vaughan. Jesus Christ. They call me the preheater. They don't. I get them warmed up.

Send them out there. Fluffer, they call it. They call us a fluffer in some industries, but I prefer preheater. You're more like a sausage roll oven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those little mini ones. At the dairy, it's kind of the glass has gone quite black. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sweaty, sweaty. You do speak to the preheater like that. The preheater. The preheater. A lot of preheating. You do speak to the pre-eater like that. The pre-eater. The pre-eater. A lot of pre-eating. A lot of pastry on the floor from, I don't know, mumps and sausage rolls. That's just rhyming.

All I'm hearing from you two is jealousy that the postman has once again knocked on the door with your delivery ahead of schedule. Okay. Yeah. Fun fact, right here, right now, was our Walk Down the Aisle song. What a tune, said Sam, but Fatboy Slim, Fatboy Slim. Banger, banger, banger. Also, people saying the music video is so good.

So good. So the music video for the song we just played, Praise, was outside the cinema rain. It was just weird dancing. Like Flash Mob style. Really unusual dancing. Always had good videos. Yeah.

Fatboy Slim. Shall we just, because I just want to, I just felt like the preheater preheated. Can I preheat again? What do you mean? Have we not reached temp? We've almost reached temp. What, you're playing the beginning again? I'm playing the beginning of the Iron Pot cooker version.

Because we all agreed. This was the ultimate preheat. I have to pray you like I should. You're so rare. Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? It's beautiful. Bam! Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

Sade's listening. The kids are going away. They're off to the LL. And I can fit you in. I've got a 10-minute window before I play Sea of Thieves tonight with the boys. Oh, my God. And before I get two booze to even try later on. So, in moderation, of course.

Wow. Hey, yo. I'm just saying, girl. I'm just saying, girl. They don't call me the pre-heater for nothing. Get excited, girl. Yuck. I might put this on, walking in my jockeys.

Give her a bit of this. Give her a bit of this. Mine's actually gone in. So my nipples have inverted. Oh, guys, come on! I'm pre-heating over here! I'm pre-heating over here! Well, one week down of the school holidays.

Yep, yep, yep. Is it two this time round? It's always two. No, I'm in the middle of three. Yep, yep, yep. Of two? Is it two this time round? Two weeks. It's always two. No, private school time. Oh, that's right. We've got to remember we're not dealing with a public school girl here. We're dealing with a private. Oh, darling.

I see it's three in the middle. I got three weeks every time, even though my parents are paying a small fortune to send me here. I know. Which, when you work out the price per day, you've got to account for. So I can go to pony camp. Pony camp's two weeks of it, and that'll cost my parents another small fortune. A pretty penny.

So, yeah, shopping the kids off today. Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff. Yeah, good. Love them, love them. I'll miss them, but good stuff, good stuff, good stuff. You literally, your oldest daughter was at camp, and you sat here a little bit sad when you went, man, I'll miss that girl.

Yeah, I do, and I miss her so much. And she's getting older, and I don't know how much time she's got. What are you doing? Push it down. Push it down. There'll be a nightmare through their teens, and it makes it so much easier once they leave. So much easier.

August had a sleepover this week at our house. Her friend came over, and they pushed the couches together. Fun. Which apparently, it's so easy to excite kids. The couches that are always in the same spot. Are we allowed to move them? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, how heavy can you help? And I pushed the couches together. Fun. Which apparently it's so easy to excite kids. The couches that are always in the same spot. Are we allowed to move them? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, how heavy can you help? And I pushed the couches together and they just looked at it and they were just like,

yes! And then I said, what movie are you going to watch? And they said, August said, we're thinking about watching Titanic. Great movie! You know I've never ever seen it I know

I've never seen Titanic And because of Vaughn's stubbornness He will not watch it I will never ever see it But is it appropriate? Yeah it's fine There's only one steamy thing You don't see anything

Right I thought you saw Kate Winslet's boobs Oh you know Doesn't she get nude In the picture In the nude drawing room It's really tasteful It's tasteful

Like a museum nude. Yeah. Well, that's fine. Well, then they're like, we might watch Titanic. And two things. I've never seen it. The poor people drowning because they can't get up is also quite traumatic. The body gets snapped in half over a rail.

Oh, what about when that guy falls and he hits the propeller and it goes. Yeah, that's what I meant. Boing. So you've never seen it, but you know the scenes. I know the sound of the because I listen to a podcast about like sounds yeah 20,000 hertz

if anybody wants to listen to it it's great and they talked about how they made the sound of the guy hitting the propeller in one of the episodes how did they make that I can't remember

they hit they hit oh my god I listen to a podcast about it so I can't do it if you shut up what you Oh my God, I listened to a podcast about it. That's not how they do it. If you're a child, shut up! I'm not waiting a chance to miss my children.

I'm dealing with two bloody idiot child children here. Two small-cult children with rocks in their heads. Listen to your father. I didn't come down in the last shower. I was going to say, I can't remember the exact meat they used, but they like a big metal thing and whacked it with like a leg of lamb or something. Poor Ryan.

Well they would have tenderised it too. I hope they cooked it afterwards. Yeah I hope they didn't go to waste either. Wow. So they start watching Titanic and I've never seen it.

Wait did they put clothing on the meat? Because it wasn't meat on metal it was clothing and then meat on metal. They might have put a barrier a meat barrier.

And did they re-bone the meat? Because there was bones inside that gentleman. With a bone? I always imagined they were holding the bone, like a leg of lamb. Well, we found a hole. We found a hole in James Cameron's Titanic. I'll re-listen to the episode. Thank you.

Because it was years ago that I heard it. Okay. What was I talking about? Right. I've never seen it start. I was getting ready for bed. I had no idea. They were watching it and I was starting and I was getting ready and then I

looked. They don't even start on the boat. It starts in the modern day. Bill Paxton is driving a submarine. Yeah. No one told me Bill Paxton was in Titanic. The whole movie is a flashback, Dumbo. She's telling the story. No. She was on the boat. When does she say it's been 84 years? Start at the end.

Start. Start. Oh my god. It's been 84 years. And then we go back 84 years. I didn't know. I thought. Start at the end. Start. Start. Oh, my God. It's been 84 years. And then we go back 84 years. And then you go back. I didn't know. I thought that was at the end when she was retrospectively looking back at her time on the Titanic. Oh, my God. You're a fool.

You would know this if you just watch one of the greatest movies of all time. I'm not going to. I saw the start of it and Bill Paxton was driving a submersible. And I was like, Bill Paxton, man, that guy was everywhere in the 90s, always popping up places. So then I said, all right, I'm going to bed, night. And then I shut the door on the lounge and I heard August say to her friend, do you know my dad's never seen this movie? Oh, yeah, how embarrassing.

And her friend said, and this is the part that stung. Are you kidding me? Everyone had to watch this movie in the olden days. You old. Oh, my God. You're the olden days. I was 15 when that came out. I remember saying the olden days.

Yeah. To my parents. When we were young, what did you consider the olden days? 70s? I was probably thinking of the 60s. Yeah, well, you were a little bit older than that. Yeah, like the war. The war.

Or dinosaurs. So what, two? The war or dinosaurs? thinking of the 60s when I thought the real olden days. Yeah, well you were a little bit older than me. Yeah, like the war, the war. Or dinosaurs. So what, two? The war or dinosaurs? There's a small, but everything before 1950 happened within a week in your mind. Yes, it did.

Yeah. 1950 and then there were dinosaurs. 1950 was old and old and old, olden times. Yeah, I think 70s. I remember asking my nana

if everything was black and white when she was a kid. Not just on the TV, but just like, was everything black and white? Oh my God, you're so dumb. That was dumb, eh? I remember asking my mum if over the Wainui Mata Hill was the other side of the world. So we were all dumb. We were all dumb. We were all dumb.

That must be China, I guess, back then. China, yep. Fletch wasn't even allowed to talk to his parents when he was younger to ask dumb questions because they were so unaggressive. Shut up! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the

day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Okay, guys. What? It's the last day of cloud. It's the last day in cloud week. It's been a good week. Today is a simple but rad fact about clouds.

It's why they're white. Oh my God, I literally made a joke saying clouds are white. It is that. First of all, we need to address why the sky is blue. Because the sun produces white light. So why is the sky blue? Because the ocean's blue. No.

Wasn't that always a thing? It's not reflecting the ocean. The sky's blue because the ocean's blue. And the ocean's blue because it's full. It's because of the light. The ocean, I believe, is blue for the same reason the sky is blue, but it's not because the ocean's blue. And the ocean's blue because it's full of light. It's because of the light. The ocean, I believe, is blue for the same reason the sky is blue, but it's not reflecting the ocean. It's blue because it's-

White light. I said that. The sun. It's out there millions of miles away. Yeah. Like a huge, gigantic nuclear furnace burning hydrogen and helium. You could walk it. I could walk it.

Bring it on. Iron Man. It's putting out. We get the heat too. We trap the heat. But the light comes screaming towards us. This white light. It hits our atmosphere.

And violet and blue light have the shortest wavelengths. So when the sun, like the day, the sun has the shortest way to come through our atmosphere, it is taken the shortest way. That has the shortest way to come through our atmosphere. It has taken the shortest way. Thus the shortest wave length. Right. And it's blue. You know on a really nice day when the sky's up, the sun

and the sun's directly above you, the sky almost does look violet. It's because that's another one of the short wavelengths. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's different. There's that blue and then there's that real intense blue. Well, when that same light comes through and hits the clouds, which are water molecules, it takes it back to white light

because it's going back to the – it reflects it at all – Returning to the mothership. Yeah, it reflects it at all wavelengths again which is why it's white light it's the little water droplets can I just note to the listener that can't visually see us Vaughan has not referred to his notes once

he has actually wrapped his head around this understanding and put it into layman's terms for us even as a qualified doctor he's not he's not a qualified you have layman's terms for us, even as a qualified doctor. He's not. He's a one doctor to another. He's not a qualified, you are not.

You have layman's termed this, and I really appreciate it. And that's why at like dusk, it goes red. Yeah. Because the white light has to go further throughout a sphere to hear it. Like, how do I describe this? If you were cutting a cake, for example, and you were cutting straight to the centre in a straight line.

What kind of cake? Chocolate cake. Carrot cake. Banana. It doesn't matter. Lemon icing. No, cream cheese. The shortest way through is blue,

but then if you were to cut across the top, it would be a longer way through. But then would my cake turn blue? Huh? Is it a boy or a girl? It's a girl cake. Okay. So it turns red.

Right. Okay. You lost me on that one. Travels further. But I've understood the blue. It was a stupid analogy. It was just sort of... We're in the middle and it's going like that.

That's okay. I feel like I don't need to understand. We don't, yeah. Look, I've tuned out because it got a bit full on. I got the first one and that's enough for today. The line's longer when you're not going straight to the centre. I'm overwhelmed. So it catches the longer wavelengths.

Let my brain digest the first bit of information. Okay, yeah, I piled a bit too much on there. A little bit too much. Doctor. Yeah, right. So today's fact of the day. Clouds are white because the white light that has turned blue by our atmosphere turns white again

when the water droplets reflect all of the lights. And there's a cake somewhere in there as well. And somewhere, banana cake with lemon ice in. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Someone asked why storm clouds are black. It's because the light gets absorbed. There's too much. I can sit in it. I can't get out.

I've already told him. Overwhelmed with information. We don't need anymore. You guys are the cake, the cake, the cake thing for me. I'm overwhelmed. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. So, okay, in the last last week I've done this twice And it gave me an idea for a phone in topic

Which I think is going to make a lot of people go Yeah I don't think I can handle this today I don't know why Okay so twice in the last week I've gone to put my finger My hand in my jean pocket Because he's got one hand in his pocket and the other one's hailing a taxi cab Yeah and so I'll go to put it in

And my fingernail goes on the rivet. Oh yeah, the little Jane rivet. The bit of the rivet goes in between my finger and fingernail. And the flesh. No. I don't know why. Anything between the fingernail. It happens to me or staples or just like when you're building or doing something or a splinter.

When you slide something. When a splinter goes under your fingernail. Amputate. That's the only, like, just get her off. I hate it so much. Like I'm almost like, do I just take off the rivet? I think stop wearing pants. You need to hammer the rivet down.

Take the pants off Right now It would still be there If you hammered the rim of it Or rounded it It'd be so much harder A soft dome But I've done it a couple of times And every time I'm just like

I hate it so much It's like old chalkboards With nails down them I might swear and I'll just do it. One of the worst feelings, and you guys may remember this from days gone by, but when you get a small slice on your finger, when you're washing your hair

and one strand slices perfectly through it. No, I've never had that. Oh, when you've got a cut already. When you've got a small cut on your finger, you know, and they're just so irritating and you're washing your hair, like a paper cut, and one little strand slides on through. The chance of that happening would be like millions to one, right?

And I'm just like, take me. I just can't. It gets in. Well, this is what I thought. Like, I don't know if people are going to like this, but could we take some calls? Like, what is that worst feeling in the world to you? Oh, cornstarch, marshmallows.

Okay, okay, okay, go. Go. You finish your popsicle, and it's just a wooden stick, and you put it in your tongue, and it's just like, for some reason, it might be because it reminds you of the doctor, because every time the doctor's like, puts the tongue depressor on, I go, Yeah, you? Terrible gag reflex. Terrible. you're the doctor. Because every time the doctor is like, puts the tongue depressor on, I go...

Terrible gag reflex. Terrible. That's why I was expelled from homosexual university. Thank God you've got a wife. Yeah. Out on the first week. When the doctor goes,

stop it! I've recently rat-tested. Every time say, well, it was like, even like, recently, like, rat tests. Every time on the throat, I was like, worst feeling in the world. Hated it. Okay, so 0800-DARZEN. We want to take your calls now.

I think we all need to open up and share. You can text in. 9696. Okay, some already have come in. When you've got slightly too long a toenails and you're taking your, you're trying to bend your toes over to put them in the jandall under the thing and your toe goes...

And the toenails scratch the jandall. Yes, yes, yes. That is yuck. Oh my God. 0800-DARLS-NM is the number. 9696. What are the worst feelings in the world? To the phone number 312. It's the worst feeling for women in the number. 9696. What are the worst feelings in the world?

To the phone number 312. It's the worst feeling for women in the world. I didn't even know that this is a thing. It is. Oh my God. It's awful.

I didn't know you were allowed to say it. Are you allowed to say it? Say it. Pulling out a dry tampon. Okay. 0800. I didn't even know

this was a thing. 0800. Why don't you just leave it in there? Leave it in there until it's not. You've gone too early. You've gone too early.

It's so shreds it's awful keep them coming in those worst born oh my he's so dramatic stop being dramatic I can't stop

stop being dramatic I get weekend cough every weekend I cough to the point of trying to reach him the worst feelings in the world keep your texts

coming in 9696 have you seen that video of that guy on the internet and he picks up a long sausage and then just goes, and then like... And then it like comes back out, shoots back out.

So we want to know the worst feelings in the world because twice in the last week I've put my hand in my jean pockets and my fingernail has gone... The rivet on the jeans has gone in between my fingernail and the... I feel like I could walk. You know, like, let's get into the messages, but I could

walk, because it's really yuck. A lot of them are the touches and the feels of things. Hundreds of messages about microfiber cloths. Oh, yeah. Dry skin. I've had that. Snag. Snaggy. Paul, what is the worst feeling in the world for you?

Morning, guys. We've got Baxter here, and it's a fork on a bowl. Scraping a fork on a bowl. The end of the tongs. The tongs directly on the bowl. That's why I don't like bowls or plates that aren't smooth. Yeah, that have lost their ceramic coating. Yeah, and they get a bit...

No, that's horrible. Oh, totally. You're doing your scrambled eggs. Hey, Baxter, how does that make you feel, Baxter, that scraping sound? Who's Baxter? It's a dog. Is Baxter a dog or a kid? No, no, Baxter's my son.

He's here with me in the car. Sorry, Baxter, for calling you a dog. He hates it. Yeah, I'm with you on that one. Yeah, Baxter, that's the worst feeling. Yeah, it's terrible. Someone said, what about... Thanks, Paul and Baxter.

Thanks, Paul and Baxter. What about when a bit of peach skin slips up between your teeth and your lips? And you're like, do your sling tongue, and your tongue's like... Holly, what is the worst feeling for you? My worst feeling is when you feel like you need to vomit, and then you do vomit, and nothing comes out except stomach acid.

So you gag on the taste of the stomach acid. And you're heaving? Yeah, but it's like a vicious cycle because you're like vomiting and gagging and trying to vomit. And then you start crying because you're like, nothing's coming out. I'm really sick.

Oh, Jesus. Holly, thank you. Some messages. Someone said, I love the environment. I love the environment, all for a reusable straw. But what about when you miss and it tings your tooth? A metal straw just goes...

Oh, yeah. Pong! Or it goes down the root and you're like... Oh, yeah, it slides up the tooth and goes... Or you stab your gum with a plastic straw. Yes. You're like, this must be how turtles feel. Yeah.

Someone said, weren't you raised on a farm, Mr. Smith? Oh, yeah, this must be how turtles feel. Yeah. Someone said, weren't you raised on a farm, Mr. Smith? Oh yeah, gross animal stuff all day, baby. No qualms. No qualms on dealing with a... But zippers for skin

in a zipper and yeah. Well, not a problem actually for the circumcised amongst us. Oh yeah, true. Taking your texts and calls now, 9696, about the worst feelings in the world.

And a lot of these are touched base. Picking up warm cat vomit with not enough paper towel and the liquid seeps through. Yeah, yuck. Whip will be there. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. I don't even know if I can say that.

The snot? Yeah. When you cough up a giant warm blob of snot and have no choice but to swallow it as there's nowhere to spit it out. You know when it's rattling around in your mouth for a bit? When you're just like, just man up and get it down.

Stop being a drama queen. Can you put it in? You started, this all kicked off because of you. So you shush. I like that. Rich from this guy eating on air. Hang on. Oh no, I. I like that. Rich from this guy eating on air. Hang on.

Oh, no, I didn't like that at all. Mushy app. It's a mushy app. Someone said, oh, what about when you're using more on straws? When you're using a paper straw and it's been in your drink for longer than 10 seconds and it starts to disintegrate. Yeah, but the turtles. And you start getting bits of paper all like around your teeth and stuff. Bumps of paper.

Oh my God. Have you ever played a woodwind instrument? Like a saxophone or a clarinet or an oboe? No. Have you ever, the feeling of the wooden reed in your mouth? A fresh wooden reed. Yeah.

Yeah, yuck. Part of the saxophone, you've got to change them out when they get like soggy and start chipping. But that first time it's really dry and you've got to put it in your mouth and put your, you've got to change them out when they get soggy and start tripping. But that first time it's really dry, you've got to put it in your mouth and you've got to go... Yuck. Feral.

Yeah, totally feeling that. Hair splinters. As a hairdresser, we constantly get hair splinters. It's worse when they get into your bra. Yeah, and someone else's hair starts growing out of your nipple. Yeah. That's a thing. That happens. That's a thing.

That happens. That happens. Weirdly, it doesn't happen to my head because I keep dipping my bald head into offcuts. That's so weird. Yeah. I think that's probably

what's happened to my nipples is just all this hair keeps getting caught all around the entire areola. That's why you've got hairy nipples. Yeah. But my wife,

she's refusing to donate any more hair to my hair in a bowl where I stand upside Yeah Hair to my Hair in a bowl Where I stand upside down And dip my hair in a bowl I had to start using my pews Oh that's But it's gonna grow really coarse

That's right Someone touching the inside Of your belly button I hate that I hate that too I hate that I like it Yuck

I hate it Don't push it Don't push in there It makes me wanna be sick It takes me back to A dark place I can't. Oh my God.

I've never had one having a catheter slowly removed. I've had a catheter, but I was a kid. I don't remember. I think they just yanked it. It's so much worse. I don't actually know what's worse, quick or slow. Slow's got to be up there. I'm so sorry that you've had that enough to know how horrible that feeling is.

Knicking your genitals when you're shaving? Or just nicking your head or anywhere when you shave. Oh, yeah, knees and ankles. And you just feel you've taken a chunk off and you're like, that was quick, it's going to bleed. It's going to bleed. When you have a filling and you eat something that's still got a little bit of tin falling, it slides across a metal filling in your mouth.

Oh, no. You've still got the metal fillings. Oh, I'm sorry. We all can't afford modern dentistry. Yeah, I got mine all removed and replaced with new ones. That would explain your mad mood today. I'm going mad. I'm going mad.

If you like today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.