ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th September 2023

Episode Date: September 3, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Extra Pud  Girl Math!  Hayley has been Humbled  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleachfawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleachfawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. It's my cousin's birthday today. Oh, that's awesome. Do you wish your cousin's birthday?

I genuinely would not know when my cousin's birthdays were. I know most of them. Really? Yeah. I don't have that many cousins and I don't even know their birthdays. I see it on Facebook and I'm like, awesome. I don't even know if I've ever heard you talk about your cousins.

Nah. Nah. It's all about you though, isn't it? There's some in Australia. I've got twins and... It's just less attention for you. Yeah, they know when my birthday is. Exactly. As well they should. Yeah. Guys, I've eaten an underripe banana. Oh, no, that's the wrong end of the ripe scud.

Yeah, and I've got stanky banana bread. Yeah, it's all like flour. Yeah, it feels... And your teeth feel a little cornflower-y. Yeah, and just, it's not good. Yeah. Don't come near me. I need to, I would love to brush my teeth.

Just get some water in there. Well, on the show today, this week in fact, the last week to get your hands on these Taylor Swift tickets. Unreal, really. So we've been doing this for three weeks, one week left. You know the drill by now, eight o'clock, listen for the Taylor Swift song, then again at midday and be the first caller through at four

when that third song plays. Name all three and you win those tickets to Taylor Swift, her sold out show. One of her sold out shows in Sydney. And if you're not a Swiftie and you're like, what's it all about? Go check out our TikTok. I wrote a song all about Taylor Swift and all of her eras. And honestly, it's popping off. Are you finding some fans in far-reaching places?

I am, including my own boyfriend, who's just like, how many people are watching you? I was like, millions. He was like, unreal. Couldn't believe how famous we were. Bless him. He's a new fan of the show. Well, he doesn't have TikTok, does he?

He doesn't have any of them. So he just didn't quite understand. That people can watch. That we're a big deal. Yeah, right. As a trio. It's good for you to remind him, is it? Oh, it's good.

I think it's good for me. Come on, it's those. He's been on the TV. He's been on that Far North show, hasn't he? He has. And he's a great grover from Nova. You kind of humbled him there. He got to beat the shit out of a car in the first part of that Far North show.

I'm waiting for that. I think I'm going to watch that all at once. Same. I'm going to binge it. I would say watching my fiance of 12 years beat up a car on a TV show was the biggest boner I've had for literally months. It was rad.

I was jealous. It was hot. I was jealous. It was really hot. Today in 2006, we lost Steve Irwin. What? Seriously? 2006.

No, it was not 2006. It was. My daughter referred to the other day as the olden days. It is so, isn't it? The olden days. Counting there is that I'm still young. It is so long ago. I know. Wild, eh? So hang on. In three years, that's going to be 20 years. Yeah. No, get out.

You're lying. No, I promise you. No, you've got the dates wrong. Silly little poll on the way. Do you wear headphones at the supermarket? This is quite divisive, this one, because I'll wear headphones. I'll walk around in my own world. I did groceries yesterday with my headphones on. Listen to your podcast or your music? I listened to a playlist called Fast Classical Music for Dramatic Bitches.

It's very fast classical. I was in the mood. That would really help you get the dramatic bitches. Okay. It's very fast classical. I was in the mood. I would really hope you get the shopping done. Yeah. We'll delve into the poll results soon with Silly Little Pole. But next on the show. There's a woman who's having an absolute time at the moment due to her name. Very difficult name to have in this day and age.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. We all know that the two movies of the year, Barbie and Oppenheimer. Yes. I still haven't seen Oppenheimer. Have you watched Oppenheimer yet? I have not seen Oppenheimer. I just watched Mission Impossible.

Oh, not Mission Impossible. Top Gun. Maverick. You've got to see Oppenheimer before it finishes at the movies. Everybody says. It's a sound in there. It's beautiful. I also quite liked,

because people said the same thing about Top Gun, but I quite enjoy drinking far too much lying on the floor at home going, faster, Tom Cruise! Yes, go! Go, go, go! Well, they are the movies of the year and everyone's talking about them.

I would say within the last month, everyone's been talking about those films. Barbie has officially become the year's highest grossing movie in the world. We love this. Beating the Super Mario Brothers movie. There can't have been many good movies. Super Mario,

that was good though. It was absolutely jam-packed with nostalgia. You mean what else was released? Not a lot. There's been heaps of movies. There was Mission Impossible. Tanked this year. Yeah. But Mission Impossible didn't live up to its box office expectations, did it? It was good, though. But there's been a few dud superhero movies this year,

like The Flash, Shit the Bed. Yeah, right. Once a year that they were expecting to do better. How embarrassing. Yeah, it was Ant-Man this year. Anyway, that tanked as well. Well, there is a woman who lives in Boston right? And her name is legitimately

Barbara Oppenheimer and she goes by Barbie. So her name is Barbie Oppenheimer. She's Barbieheimer. She is. It is her name. The Barbieheimer. So her name's Barbara and she married a man whose surname was Oppenheimer. Wow.

And what they recently figured out, because she was like, oh my God, it's a nightmare, essentially, living life as a Barbie Oppenheimer. It wasn't until a month ago. Yeah, totally. She's like, I can't check in anywhere without people commenting on it. I can't make a reservation at restaurants.

You would think it was a joke if you were taking that reservation. People are just like, oh, okay. And she's like, no, I am Barbara Oppenheimer. Anyway, so her husband, they worked out, her husband's father is third cousins with the father of the guy who made the atomic bomb. Oh, so she is of the Oppenheimer guy.

Yeah, so her husband is very distantly related to the actual Oppenheimer guy. It's not a common name, is it? Oppenheimer. You'd be somewhat related with that last name. I could hand on heart say I've never met a Mr. or Mrs. Oppenheimer ever. But yeah, she's been sharing. She was like, it's totally a nightmare. She's like, I get it.

I get it. This is an absolute nightmare. Yeah. So her whole life she was Barbie. Yeah. And then she's like, as I got older, it turned more to like Barb. So she goes by Barb rather than Barbie. But she's like, I am Barbie Oppenheimer.

That is amazing. I know. Imagine having a name that was so, now paints its own picture. Yeah. Like aside from your identity. I feel sorry for those people that just have a normal first and last name and then someone becomes famous with

that exact same name. Oh my friend Sam Smith, he's a comedian in New Zealand and he always, as soon as Sam Smith went huge as a singer Sam was like, oh man. Not the singer. Yeah I'm Sam Smith, not the singer. That happened to my friend Shakira.

Yeah, Shakira, her last name. Just Shakira. Wow, so she just goes single name as well. Yeah. And is she a singer too, your Shakira? Yes. Oh, see that. Owes a lot of money to the tax department too.

So very similar. She's got that kind of throaty voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. And her breasts are small and humble, which is lucky because I wouldn't confuse them with mountains. Because sometimes I do see a nice big set of tits.

Are those mountains? Are those mountains? Or are they your breasts? I strap on my boots. I'm halfway up them. What to see? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a lot of people on my Instagram are currently in Europe or have been in the last few months.

Yeah, I've definitely, I think I've passed peak Europe, people I know in Europe. See, I thought I had and then the next batch go. Yeah, I thought it was over because like usually July, August, right? Like that's the worst time. And now it's September and people are still like heading off. Where's the loveliest place? I've heard,

I'm just thinking autumn now because they're leaving their summer. They'll be moving into the autumn. It might be a bit later given the extreme weather that we've been experiencing

but where in the world is the most beautiful autumn spot? Because I've heard Chicago. My mother-in-law went to Chicago. Oh yeah, I like Chicago.

She just said it's the most beautiful city in autumn when it all starts to brown and gold. because of all the trees and stuff. Yeah, and the Ozarks. Oh yeah, I Chicago She just said It's the most beautiful city In autumn When it all starts The brown and gold Oh because of all the trees And stuff Yeah

And the Ozarks Oh yeah I want to go there Just purely Just because of the show After the Netflix show Yeah What do they call it

Fall But I feel like It's fall In Europe You wouldn't You'd still be doing alright In like you know September, October

Yeah right It'd still be beautiful Yeah my parents have Another month left In Europe An American student Because it is expensive. Like a lot of, I'm just like,

how do people afford to be going for like two or three months? I've asked people who I know have no money. Like, how'd you get there? How'd you survive? What did you eat? Did they thank their credit cards or personal loans? A real like deal with it later. Shoda and I worked out a trip we could have with our mortgage if we didn't have our mortgage.

Yeah. It would be nice. It would be nice. But then we wouldn't have a house for our children. So you've got to go, hey. Well, an American student, she has spent a few months around Europe. She reckons she has saved about $6,000 New Zealand dollars

on rent because she goes and just basically hops around Europe house-sitting for Europeans. So she signed up to a website. Oh, not Europeans. She has spent her entire summer months travelling Europe and has hardly ever paid rent. I think she might get an Airbnb or a hostel when she's in between house sitting gigs. Yeah. But most

of them just work out nice. Like she'll be in for example Berlin or whatever and then she'll go to Italy and get the next gig. I looked at this when I first moved to Auckland and I wasn't sure if I was going to stay or go back to Wellington. Yeah. And I was like, oh I don't want to get a flat and I don't, you know,

necessarily want to keep leeching off of Aaron's parents. So I was like, if I could find a house-sitting or pet-sitting job, and I looked at it, because it is. It's free rent. Yeah. See, house-sitting is you just stay there and it's for free. But if there's a pet, sometimes they pay you.

You're working. Yeah. Some of them would actually pay you to stay there. Yeah. Because if it was like a particularly big dog or something. But if there's a pet, but you're also in someone else's house, there's a lot of stress. There's a lot of stress. You can't mess

the house up. No, I know. What if he accidentally flood the laundry because he left a t-shirt in the sink? Well, I didn't even... Don't leave a t-shirt in the sink. And also, if your washing machine is draining straight into your sink, let's organise you a bypass. Let's organise you the little hole in the back of the sink that goes down further into the plug place.

Into the ground. I will personally pop around and put that in for you. It's giving me no amount of anxiety knowing there are people draining their washing machine straight into their tub. It's a real Kiwi thing, eh? An old days Kiwi thing. Just drain it into the sink.

There could even be linty stuff that comes out the load. It could block the sink. And then it's very stressful. But that's the thing. You don't want to be house-sitting all these people's houses. And then someone goes, I don't know, I just, ugh. It's actually like travelling around Europe on your own. What if the night gets away on you?

You know, what if you met a lovely, delicious man in Portugal and now I don't want to go home? But I've got to go home and feed your dumb dog. Take him home. Instead of taking this beautiful Portuguese lover. No, but then can you take the hot Portuguese guy back to the house sitting place? No, I can't mess up the sheets. They're not my sheets.

You can wash the sheets, but just make sure that the tub is, there's nothing in the plug hole if the washing machine drains straight in there. What if it goes into the tub? I wonder if Mr. Portuguese will be able to fix it. He might, yeah. That's hard. Just be able to unplug. Also, it goes into the tub? I wonder if Mr. Portuguese will be able to fix it. He might, yeah. That's hot.

I'll just be able to unplug. Also, you would be the, I wouldn't, I think Hayley would be the worst out of the three of us to house it because you'd get drunk and vom on the patio. Yeah, I'd have a vom. I'd have a vom. You vommed on my patio. You had a vom on my patio.

I don't actually vom. You vom. I just lean and I keep it all inside for when. You'd be fine. And then I'll take a poo that will really ruin everybody's day. Wait, so none of us are trustworthy when it comes to house sitting? No. No, okay.

No, no, no. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole is do you wear headphones in the supermarket? Yes. Always.

You've got to drown out everything. I also just love doing groceries. Like, I love it. I just go into my own world, think about the food I want to make. Are you listening to podcasts or music? Well, sometimes very heavy music. Okay. Yesterday, classical music.

What was your classical music playlist called? It's called Fast Classical Music for Dramatic Bitches. It's such a good playlist. Yeah, it's a lot of Evaldi, a lot of really fast strings. Is that bad when you're supermarket shopping? Like, you know how you shouldn't go to the... Gets you excited? Yeah, you shouldn't go to the supermarket hungry. Should you

be excitable? Yeah, I am very... I was excitable, for sure. They made all sorts of rogue purchases. Rash decisions. Yeah. I purchased a very cheap and off-brand Prosecco because I was like, it was $14. I bought some Prosecco at the weekend. Did you?

Just a little out of sorts. I was going to make my halftime Warriors cocktail. It was going to be an Aperol Spritz, but it was going to be called an Uffa, Uffa or Spritz after Bunty, the Warriors player. Bunty, you're not friends with him. Bunty Afoerol. Bunty Afoerol is his name.

Bunty. Just the way you said it made you sound like you're friends with him. So I was going to make an Aperol Spritz. But right. I might do this next season, I think. A cocktail at every halftime for the Warriors game. Right. Dedicated to a different Warriors.

But they were losing, so you just didn't bother. I packed such a shit. Oh, my God. Iicated to a different warrior. But they were losing, so you just didn't bother. I packed such a shit. Did you? Oh my god, I packed such a sook. Oh my god, you're deep in when your team's losing. Wow. Yeah. No, you don't deserve it. Especially to a second-rate team. A third-rate team, the baby

Broncos. Anyway, we're playing Penrith. That's who we play next. Okay. Of course, we knew that. Up the waz. Yeah, we knew that. Up the waz. Do you we knew that. Up the waz. Do you wear headphones in the supermarket? Yes, 32%. 68%. No. Oh, you've got to be forced to listen to that horrible supermarket music.

Unless you're at Schaefer's New World in Wellington, which it's known for its playlist. It's got a great playlist. It's literally got its own playlist on all your streaming services. Shah said, I've genuinely, genuinely never considered doing this, but it would be great for my easily overstimulated brain. What? That's mean.

Never thought about, oh, all the time. Play some relaxing tunes and all the other noises. Literally just take one ear out to order ham. That's it. That's the only time I take them out. Could you pause it? Then you don't have to take them out. No, but then it's rude.

It looks like you've got your headphones on. Yeah, it's like I'm not engaged with them. It feels rude. Whitney says, I do this. I'm a busy working mum and it's a little bit of me time while doing the shopping. Yeah. Yeah, totally. You can go in your own world.

Yeah. I imagine she's got her kids there, but they're just screaming, but she can't hear them because she's got some great noise-cancelling headphones. Oh, yes. The noise-cancelling headphones are so great. God, yeah, especially if you have kids. Yeah.

Ah, shush, shush, shush, shush. Do you know, on my hike at the weekend, we went past this mum and her two teenage kids, and the teenage kid had headphones on, on a hike. What a prick. Would you have got a hiding? Yeah, absolutely. I've seen restaurants, kids with headphones on, and we What a prank. Would you have got a hiding? Yeah, absolutely. I've seen restaurants,

kids with headphones on. And we never let our kids wear headphones. Like, while they're eating and stuff, nothing. But if it's just boring adult chat, they can go on devices or whatever. But there is something about the headphones. It's rude. Rude, eh?

Same. Yeah, same. Especially in nature. In nature, it just would never revere them. Yeah, your parents would have been screaming at you in nature. Look at the trees! You enjoy this nature. Maddie says, wearing headphones in a public place is a great way of saying, don't talk to me.

Yeah, that's what I like. Sarah, I don't wear them because I'm not a rude bitch. Sarah's words, not mine. Katie, always take them out when you get to checkout, please. Yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah, always? Yeah, yeah, pop them out. I'm self-serving.

I'm not taking them out for self-serve. Yeah, you self-serve your whole bloody weekly shop, though. Yeah, I'm quick. There's hardly anyone around. I don't care about that sign. 40 items, you're like, oh, well. What are you going to do, arrest me? Yeah, they will.

What are you in here for? I had 40 items and the 12 or less. I caused a bottleneck. It makes a boring task enjoyable. I listen to your podcast when I'm shopping, in fact. Oh, yeah. Thank you for that, Monique. It just gets awkward sometimes if I have to stifle a smirk or a giggle.

Don't stifle it. Laugh out louder. Yeah, that's what we say, isn't it? That's what we say. All the laughs Rachel says Only because I do the groceries With my two year old

And I don't think He'd appreciate that So she doesn't wear headphones But only because He's a two year old He could have his own headphones I can't think of anything worse Split jack

Doing the groceries With a kid With a kid God Bring that to the 70s When you could just Leave them in the car You know

I know Outside the tavern Crank a window. She'll be right. And you wouldn't take the cigarette lighter out because you'd lose that. And then later on when you were all light your durries, you don't want to be without that. Tim says,

How else am I going to listen to the FVHZN podcast now available on iHeartRadio? He's a kiss-ass, but we like that. Kiss-ass Tim from Timaru. Yes, I cannot deal with you screaming little crotch goblins. That's what Mason calls children. Crotch goblins. Crotch goblins. That was actually Fletcher's nickname in high school.

Old crotch goblins. The crotch goblin. What do you got in there? Hey, what's that? What do you got in there? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hey, what's that? What do you got in there? We've talked about elaborate proposals before. I mean, only last week has someone proposed over the intercom

at Auckland International Airport. Yeah. And we all went... Well, it's just like nobody's ever stepped off a long-haul flight thinking, I feel fantastic. Oh, no. And right now in my stink.

I would love to be proposed to. There is must everywhere. And your face is puffy. Sometimes your passport doesn't scan because you're too puffy. No, I know, because you're so puffy and we're retaining a lot of water. We've got a crotch rot going on. We've got to get out of here. Yeah.

Well, apparently there's a huge trend, and I didn't realise this, of people who are using proposal planners. So not only in themselves planning an elaborate proposal, which, if that's your vibe, sure. But spending money to hire almost like a wedding

planner, a proposal planner. Just for the proposal. Dropping money on things like locations, lighting. Excuse me. Gifts, flowers, photographers, a whole shebang. Oh, wow. People are spending around about, on average, $5,000 New Zealand dollars on a proposal.

$5,000? $5,000. Jesus dollars on a proposal. $5,000? $5,000. Jesus Christ. And wedding planners. Excuse me. My blaspheme. Oh my God. I really hit the sa and the krr.

You did. On that. That's insanity. $5,000 on a proposal. You're about to drop much more than that on a wedding day. Let's just pump the brakes on the proposal. So a proposal planner has shared that one of their clients spent 160,000 pounds. So about over $300,000 to hire a swanky private venue and have a band there and a photographer and all this kind of stuff.

And the pressure to say yes. You'd have to be pretty sure they're going to say yes. It's a no from me. This is too much. And then they're like, one of the things that people are considering is having it be Instagram worthy. So like you were saying, having lighting ready. Lighting.

You step onto like some kind of stage that's been pre-prepared and there's a ring light and 360 degree lighting. What are you, Travis Barker and bloody one of the Kardashians? It's so weird to me. This isn't even the wedding. What is your wedding costing if you're spending thousands and thousands on a... And the divorce settlement. Oh my God, that's the most expensive.

A very expensive day. I know. Well, apparently it's like the increase in proposal planners happened during lockdown. I guess they said that people just had more time to plan these elaborate things. You're locked down for some and you realise you want to marry them. Lockdown had the opposite effect on me.

And these are people just spending all this money on these proposals. My proposal was free other than the ring and the dinner we had. We had a nice night out. You had a weekend away so that wasn't free. Was it?

No, but the weekend away was a weekend away. It was a weekend away. Yeah, but exactly. It's just part of a weekend away. The proposal was only one part of it.

I actually just tagged the proposal on there to save myself some money. It's a classic smithy. Yeah, absolutely. I might as well smithy. Yeah, absolutely. I might as well do it here. Yeah, Carton Corn is over here. Yeah.

Hello and welcome to the Top Six. It's eat an extra bit of pud day. Have an extra serving of pud day. This is the national day apparently. This is apparently a thing. From England. This is apparently a thing. Desserts have been part of the human culture for centuries.

The origins of eat an extra dessert day are unclear. But I don't care. I was struggling for a top six today. So shut up and put up or shut up. Put up or shut up. Is that the saying? Put up or shut up or put up and shut up. Put up or shut up. Wow, we've been told. Is that the saying? Put up or shut up or put up and shut up?

Put up or shut up. Yeah, put up. Yeah. I'm going to put up. Do you reckon that means like put up your dukes, put up? Yeah, put them up. Put them up. Top six puds to have a little more of when there's no pud in the house.

Doesn't it suck when there's no pudding in the house? And you're in the mood. I purposely have no pudding in the house. Otherwise, all the pudding gets eaten at once. I bought Aaron a frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake for while I'm away. Did he have it for lunch? No, he's excited to eat it today. Oh, okay. He's going to have it today.

Yum. What cheesecake? Mixed berry. Fine choice. Thank you. Fine choice. Thank you. I look after my man. Yeah. Top six foods to have a little more of when there's no pudding in the house. Number six on the list, self-sourcing pudding.

Yum! My mum makes the greatest self-sourcing pudding in the microwave, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, wow. I did a microwave one. I think she knows it off by heart now. Oh, yeah. But she'll put it on.

Yeah, caramel. Wild. And she makes it out of like nothing. I think it's like flour, raisins and brown sugar. Raisins? Sorry. Sultana's, yeah. Even Sultana's not.

Oh my God, I used to make self-sourcing pudding, but I would never put raisins in it. But her little man likes raisins. Oh my God. She does it for her little man. Oh my God. Mummy, there's no waisins in here. Oh, and my sweet little waisins.

Mummy, I like waisins. Number five on the list of the top six puts to have a little more of when there's no put in the house. Cake in a mug. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we do microwave mug cake. Yeah. Get it in a mug.

How long is it in for? Not long, eh? 40 seconds. A ramekin. Yeah, a ramekin. If you're posh, you can use a ramekin. You can use a ramekin. You're welcome to the good life. Never. Sir, Iamekin. If you're posh, you can use a ramekin. You can use a ramekin. You're welcome to the good life.

Never. Sir, I would never. Number four on the list of the top six puds to have a little more of when there's no pud at home, Milo soup. Ah, yes. It's where you get ice cream and you let it melt. And then you just jam in heaps of Milo and then you just stir it up and it looks like soup. Yeah. You go Milo soup.

And then you can go. But see, if there's ice cream in the house, that's pudding. That's pud. So there is pud. Yeah. So you just have a scoop of Milo. So you're just having a Milo. You're just straight into a cold Milo.

I'm a little bit of Milo soup. Not stirred in. Yeah. Number three on the list are the top six puds to have a little more of when there's no pud in the house. A yogurt or a dairy food out of a little puddle, but the deal is no spoons. Oh, you've got to squeeze it. You've got to squeeze it.

That's good. It gives a little bit of a Jenny Say Quat. Yeah. If you're pulling off the tinfoil. How is Jenny Say Quat? She's still squatting. Yeah. Such powerful thighs.

Oh, the quads on this chair. She's a absolute powerhouse. Number two on the list of the top six puds to have a little more of when there's no pud in the house. Just make yourself a bowl of icing. I used to do this all the time. Icing, sugar, butter and chocolate? Cocoa. I used to do this all the time

after school. Make yourself icing. Cheap icing at Edmund's Icing. Or just make fudge because there was always lots of sugar. What was fudge? Sugar and butter and... Sugar, butter, and like cocoa. Yeah, and then just boil it. Yeah, like boil it. Put it into a tray.

Voila. Done, you got yourself some pud. And number one on the top six puds to have on Eat It Extra Pudding Day, if there's no pud in the house, a plate of microwaved baking chocolate. Yes. You microwave it and it goes soft and like gooey.

You just lick it from the plate. Yeah. It's hot though. Careful. Careful on that. It's going to be hot. These also could have been after school treats. Yeah, yeah.

No, it was after school treats. Mum and dad aren't home. It would have been an entire bag of farm baked biscuits. Yeah. God damn, those things got hiding in the 90s. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

It's eight minutes past seven. I thought you just said your own name wrong. Fletch. Weird. Flouch. You've done it again. You've been someone who says your own name. Just trying to hurry up.

Hurry up. Jesus Christ. He just sort of throws away Fletch. He's sort of faffing around. And you're the one who says your own name wrong. It's bizarre. You've had it since you were a kid. There is an app that I would like to share, Flotch.

Volgan. It's called Swipe Wipe. And I can do with this because I have, if I look on my photos, right, you know how you go in. I've got 56,000 photos on this phone. Oh my God. You are both photo hoarders.

You are both photo hoarders. Yeah, yeah. And I just, I will never look at them. I will look at 10 of them a year, I reckon. There is an app called Swipe Wipe and it's like Tinder

for your own photo album, which is, this is genius. So you download it, right? And you give access to your photos. Well, that's a problem, isn't it? Straight away. You're giving an app access to your camera roll.

Oh, yeah. I can't even imagine what's on his camera roll. He cleans it out. Excuse me, a lot of photos of hiking at the weekend. It's like a septic tank, his photo album. He's got to clean it out. So you think yours is fine? Give me your phone.

That photo is not fine. Yeah, give me your phone. Give me your phone. I'll look through it and I'll tell you whether it's fine or not. I just went deleting photos willy-nilly.

I wouldn't have this lovely photo of a waterfall. Yeah. From when? I don't know, dude. It just says waterfalls over the years. I love that.

I love having your phone like, well, I'm going to chuck you together a little present and it's something like waterfalls over the years. I love that. I love having your phone's like, well, I'm going to chuck you together a little present and it's something like waterfalls over the years. Look, I've got remember when, dot, dot, dot. I've got a remember when. Oh, that's remember when you had a job on television, basically. That's just rubbing it. It's a way to go BPA.

I've got pet friends. Oh, yeah. It's my dead cat. I hate these ones. I don't want to talk about that. Remember when you were thin should be the album? Yeah. Do you remember 15K years ago, chubs?

Well, this one goes on and it's like a daily activity, almost like a game. Okay. You go on and it says on this day and you go on it and it's like Tinder where it'll show you a photo and you swipe left. Which ones get rid? Swipe right to keep as in like, yes, as you would on Tinder,

keep that photo. Left to delete, and it's gone. You just do it every day. It will move those photos to your deleted items. To your deleted items. Oh, because you know, you take photos. You always take photos, like you take 10 different photos. Totally.

And you only want one. You only want one. Or like, I always take a photo of like the moon. I'm like, oh my God, that's amazing. And I take a photo, I'll literally say, there's a photo, I'll never look at again. Yeah, 100%. Like vistas and sunsets and stuff.

I might send it to my mum, but then I'm done. Yeah. So this one, you just Tinder it until you're over it and that's it. And then just before you close the app, it shows you all the photos you've deleted and you can go through them one last time and be like, yeah, I'm happy to get rid of those.

Delete, gone. And then they're gone. Wow. And then it comes up. Ooh, it says success. And it shows you how many images you've deleted, how much storage you've saved. Because that's the thing.

And then it gives you all the time. And then you tick it off like a to-do list being like, I've done July. Right. Now I'm going to do August. And if you were just like bored, if you're on a plane or waiting for something, waiting for friends,

you could just spend five minutes just clearing your, and it's like a game. It's like a game. I love this. On this day, I'm on an on this day. I get rid of lots of these things. Not that one. That's my popper eating a pie. It's cute.

Keep that. Keep that. That's my friend. I'm never going to look at that. Okay. I'm not going to look at that. So what's this app called again? Swipe Wipe.

Swipe Wipe. Swipe Wipe. Swipe Wipe. Swipe Wipe. Tindered for your phone. Bought you by the same people who bought you House Party during the lockdown. We all downloaded it and then a few weeks later someone was like, you know that that's a bad app. And everyone was like, oh no. It's not by them.

No, no, no. It's got the same sort of aesthetic though. Oh, does it? Yeah, it does. By Afternoon Products. Let's see what our afternoon products are. Remember? That app was wild.

No, our first product is Swipe White. Our first product is Swipe White. But then that was all a smear campaign for House Party. Yeah. It turned out that House Party was fine. But then everybody got rid of it, didn't they? Everybody was like, oh, TikTok told us it was bad. And meanwhile, TikTok's like, yes, it's the bad guys.

Sabotage. Not me. Let's talk chickens next on the show. Yeah. the bad guy. Sabotage. Not me. Let's talk chickens next on the show. Yeah. How they work. Shannon at the social media has a lot of questions. Yeah. Fair enough.

They're bizarre. Yeah, I guess they are. They are weird. They're really weird. Birds on a hole are weird, man. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Oh, we're going back. Wow.

It was before we went on holiday. The was before we went on holiday The week before we went on holiday We got a batch of new brown shavers That's a type of chicken that lay an egg Do you remember when we were kids And the eggs were always white Yeah Why were they always white

Different laying chickens And brown shavers lay those more like familiar Sort of a brownie egg I personally am a fan of your new chickens because we got eggs. We got eggs on fire. The omelette was just orange. It was so good. It's rich.

It's good stuff. And I bought a whole lot of eggs in because there's 10 of them now and two remaining cluckdash hens have really upped their game. They're laying again. Oh, because they're like, we've got some new hens on the block. We better lay too. Just step it up. Okay.

So you're getting like 10 eggs a day. Yeah, 10 or 12 eggs a day. Wow. Just good stuff. And I brought some into work and passed them around. And that was when Shannon started having questions about chickens. And I went home and I repeated some of these questions to my wife. And she's like, that's all right.

Not everybody grew up on a farm. I'm like, I don't think you'd have to grow up on a farm. You just would have been curious. I didn't grow up on a farm. Tell me these questions, she said. Well, we'll just go straight to her for some questions about chickens. Chicken curiosity. Chicken Q&A.

Yeah. I'm aware this is a big gap in my knowledge. I know how ditzy I sound, but it's just something I never experienced. But I just didn't understand why they come out so quick. Like, why do you have so many? How often are you menstruating? That's what I thought. I thought, isn't it like having a baby?

So wouldn't it take a while to make an egg? I don't know. No, they can crank out one a day. Yeah, 24 hours. Done. It's a repeating cycle. They're menstruating constantly. They're Yeah, 24 hours. Done. It's a repeating cycle. They're menstruating constantly. They're constantly.

Yes, and that's the length of their cycle. But it's not the same as a pregnancy. Their cycle's 24 hours. Yeah. Ugh. From about lunchtime till six in the evening, real bitch. Oh my God, such a bitch. And then after that, quite tired.

The sweet spot. Where's the egg in it? Do they have like a uterus? Is there just an egg floating? No, there's an egg production machine. And then when it gets ready, like the end of the chain is the cloaca, which is the one-stop shop. That's the same hole they poop out of in everything.

They've got one hole. That's why sometimes there's a bit of poo on there. Efficient egg. And it comes out. But then it would take that to be fertilised, and that's the thing, like a rooster gets in, mates with the chicken, which is very brutal, if you've ever seen it happen.

What does a rooster's penis look like? Is it twisted like a duck's? No, that's a pig. No, that's a pig's tail. No, pigs have... Pigs don't have a curly penis. Pigs do have curly penises. Yeah, they do.

Pigs do. Don't they have corkscrews? No, you're thinking of a duck. No, pigs also have it. The penis, which is long and rigid, has an S shape on a pig. Yeah, but you're talking an S pen now, like a toilet pen. An anti-clockwise spiral at the end. So it goes S and then goes.

That's the actual noise. So that was an actual recording of a pig's penis. Okay, so what other questions did you have about chickens? Oh, so the rooster, the, this is just biology, kids, puts the semen in. The chicken can hold onto it for a month and slowly add a little bit more to each egg as it comes out. She's trapping him. And so that's why they like stalk. You know when they have, so they're laying one a day, but then if they're sitting on a batch of 10,

they'll all hatch within like the same time. It's like they pretty much put a pause on it. It's amazing, eh? Chickens are a hell of an animal. My other question, do they miss their eggs? They just made this thing and then you tip it. When you menstruate, do you miss it when it comes to that? Well, no, but I feel like they've worked hard.

They have worked hard. Don't they sit on them to keep them warm? No, that's when they get broody, they'll stay sitting on them. Yes, and then you just take them and then we eat them. It feels a bit barbaric. Are you familiar with the beef and lamb industry?

I'll tell you what we do to cows. It's a little bit. No, they just lay them and then they go about their day. But if they get broody, they'll sit on them. They don't have an's a little bit. No, they just like lay them and then they go about their day. But if they get broody, they'll sit on them. They don't have an emotional attachment to it. No, it's almost like they know that those ones don't have chicks in them. Yeah, and they know about omelettes. Oh, okay.

They'll eat their own eggs. Yeah. Oh, now that's weird. They'll eat their own eggs. I'm lacking a bit of something I actually can't afford to be without that. They'll eat their own eggs. Because when they eat their own eggs, you're like, oh, I've got to add some calcium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some little calcium

flakes. Sand bricks. Yeah. Do they get jealous if they can't, like can they all lay eggs or can just some of them? Is it a skill? Some of them don't. Yeah, they infertile. In hospitable wombs maybe. And then do they feel embarrassed? Barren women. Does everyone just show up to the morning coffee with an egg to show each other

and they're like, here's what I made last night. And does one of them say, well, I didn't make one. I didn't make one today. Don't talk bad. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I think you're overcomplicating things. Shannon also wanted to know in the group chat how the numbers get on top of the eggs. Yeah.

No, that was Carwin. You're right when you get eggs. No, no, no. I wanted to know what they mean. I knew that Vaughn was putting the number there. Ah, I was... So they've got a pencil in the womb. I've seen it before and they're an amazing animal.

That was the date that they were laid. Yeah. So you know if they're... And you eat the oldest ones first. This feels like a full-time job for you. How long does an egg last? Quite a while. Weeks.

You know what blows my mind is in America and overseas when you're in a supermarket, all their eggs are in the fridges in a refrigerated section. But in New Zealand, ours are just on the shelves. You don't need to refrigerate them. But I take my shelf eggs and I put them in the fridge. Yeah. It makes them last longer. Yeah.

But that's why Americans do it, to make it last longer. Right. Whereas our eggs are closer to the source, so they get put in the supermarket. Yeah, egg though. Yeah, right. From ass to plate is a bit quicker. Our A to P ratio is really fast.

A to P. It's a quicker thing. Well it's taken the world by storm Girl math That's right All over TikTok It's been on Buzzfeed It's been on all these incredible news websites Around the world

Absolutely And some brands are using it right To advertise things They're saying like, if you think you can't afford this thing, girl math it. I admire their... It's basically free. Exactly. Well, they're jumping on a trend, aren't they? They are jumping on a trend. We are

trendsetters. F-E-H-Z-N. Now, Bunnings, a massive company, have shared on their TikTok a bit of girl math, right? They have a stool, an outdoor decorative stool. It's cute. Is it for sitting on or a table?

Well, that's the debate, right? It's an outdoor decorative stool. Okay. So in their girl math, they've said, girl math your way to owning this decorative stool. And they show the stool and they say, you can use the stool as a seat, as a plant stand, as a side table, as an accessory stand to display home decor. Basically, you're getting many pieces of furniture for the price of one.

And if you use it every day, it's less than a dollar a day. So this stool is basically, they don't say it's basically free. They're saying it's a dollar a day if you use it every day. They've absolutely missed the mark. I don't know if a business can say it's basically free. Because then people are going to rock in and be like. People like Shannon that don't know how chickens work are going to walk into Bunnings and say, I want my free stool. Good thing she's pretty.

I say it every day. Good thing she's pretty. Now, girlies, the whole point of Girl Math is to get it down as low as you can imagine. Yeah, exactly. To the fact that it's basically free. They're saying a dollar a day if you use it every day. So they're saying it's $89. So they're saying this stool

that I'm spending $89 is only going to last 89 days. Yeah, surely it's going to last longer than that. We've just looked up the material. It's cement. It's cement! Oh, I've got it. It's going to last forever.

It could last forever. It probably hasn't even finished curing properly yet. And after you use it as cement, you could put it into some kind of grinder and use it as driveway. I mean, already I can think of a thousand different uses for this still. Well, I've just seen it's about 19 kgs.

And looking at the price of concrete, you know, that's about $20 to $30 worth of concrete. So you're already knocking that off the price. You're already whacking off the cost of the materials that they're making here. So you want to do better girl maths. I want to do better girl maths. For Bunnings. For Bunnings. For Bunnings. Okay, right.

Now, in Bunnings, have we got the Bunnings theme tune? Yeah, I can bring that in for you. Yeah, I'd quite like that. We'll also need it delivered in style of Bunnings employee. Okay. You know, the ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.

Okay. Here at Bunnings, we like to keep prices low. So I want to tell you how to girl math this stool so that it's not $89, it's basically free. I love my job. They're not paying me to do this ad. Can't believe it. They actually don't.

They're going to call me on my day off. Yeah, they'll do that too. Hi, I'm Cassandra, and I work at Bunnings. Here's how this stool is not a dollar a day. It's way less. Now, you can use this stool five different ways. I work at Bunnings. Here's how this stool is not a dollar a day. It's way less. Now, you can use the stool five different ways. That's what Bunnings told me. If you're using this every day for a year, it's 365 divided by five different ways.

So that's $73. So you've already knocked that off and you remove $30, now it's $40. Divide that by 5 for the use, that's $8. So it's not $89, it's $8. And then if you're going to gravel it up and put it into a driveway, how much does it cost to re-gravel

a driveway? Thousands. Now you're making thousands. You'd have to go down to aisle 37 and ask them. I'm like, it's not really my area of expertise. they won't know either.

Oh, shots fired. Shots fired. Shots fired. She's a minor 10 girl. She's a minor 10 cat. Let's say it's $2,000 to re-gravel a driveway.

You've just made yourself. What, are you going to smash up the concrete table yourself? Yeah. I don't think it's going to re-gravel an entire driveway. No, it'll do it. And here's some backfill though. It'd be great for backfill if you're

doing a retaining wall. Here at Bunnings you can buy this stool and make $1,992. Bunnings, you can count on us to keep our prices down. That's the countdown. We'll beat a competitor's price by 15% or more.

We'll beat it by 15%. Oh, well, let's add 15% there. Let's take away $19.92 minus 15%. You're literally making about $3,000. Roughly. Per table. It's basically free. Per table.

Bunnings thought that it was going to be $1 a day. They've grossly overestimated the cost of this still. It's basically free. It's basically free. Per table. Bunnings thought that it was going to be a dollar a day. They've grossly overestimated the cost of this stall. It's basically free. It's basically free. There you go. You've done it. I love Bunnings and I love working for Bunnings. Thank you, Cassandra.

Thank you. I'm Cassandra from Bunnings. And cut. Cassandra, get back to the garden centre. Sorry, I'm going now. Jesus. Sorry, I'll leave. There are big, really big, weird flat trolleys that need to be put back in the rack. Sorry, I'll leave. There are big, really big, weird, flat

trolleys that need to be put back in the rack. Okay, I'll go. Get out of here. Do I get paid for this ad? Absolutely not. No, you don't. I'm advertising the company. Yeah, but it's a great experience to get your face out there as a casting director. A casting director might see you on this ad and be like, that's who I want to be.

Hang on, now this person who works at Bunnings is going to be making, what did someone make on their last film? I mean, what is... Well, Margot Roberts just made, what do they reckon, close to over $100 million.

Oh my God, you buy the stool from Bunnings and you're a Bunnings employee. You're making... You are potentially sitting on $100 million. Adele, now she's a cool girl

right? She is a cool gal and she's trendy and she's fashionable and we think of her as having a luxe life when I think of Adele I don't think of her house as including mini Christmas

houses like a little Christmas village as including mini Christmas houses. Like a little Christmas village. If you watch the latest series of the Kardashians, Kris Jenner does this. She gets little doll houses and Christmas themes them and gave them to all the kids who are all like 40. And they're like, what are we going to do with this? So Adele

does this as well, she collects these little mini Christmas houses and creates these small Christmas villages it's so off it's so weird, thousands and thousands of dollars worth of miniature Christmas houses

so she'll just go on like their version of Trade Me eBay, I'm guessing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then just spend thousands of pounds on little mini Christmas villages. Yeah, so she had a few and then it got out of hand

and she couldn't stop collecting them. Yeah. And now she just has like a huge collection of mini Christmas houses. Right. It's so off. Like where are you putting these things? They're the tackiest little things.

Because she'd have, like, nice houses, right? Because does she live in LA? She lives in LA and the UK? She'd have a London house in London. Yeah, totally. Where are you putting these weird villages, these strange miniature villages? Is this the man version of having a train set?

Kind of, yeah. Like the woman version rather? The woman version, these little weird Christmas villagers. Yeah. Also, what are you doing with these for the other 11 months? Did she have photos of them online? Here's some here. They're just really tacky.

Tacky. She would just have rooms. I'm imagining she's got more rooms than a mansion. Yeah, so she'd just get the help to put it all in a room, wouldn't she? Yeah. Yeah. It's bizarre, but she said that it just started, like people bought them for her for like Christmas gifts,

and she's like, oh, I like these. A lot. Yeah, these are bloody nice. Yeah. And then she's like, I want to get some more, and like bought a whole lot more, and now she's like, I can't stop. And then her boyfriend was like...

And then people will buy them for her as gifts and she's made herself known as the crazy Christmas village lady so if anybody is anywhere and sees one of course they have to buy it. So she just goes on Amazon and buys entire collections so say like someone dies and she's like

I'll buy it and her boyfriend's like okay well calm down don't go too much. She's like, I can't. I've been buying them on Amazon. These huge displays. And she's like,

I'm just trying to work out how I can display all these effing villagers. I don't want to sell them and I can't put them away and store it. So I've got to work out how to display them.

Some of them are battery operated. They've got little lights and stuff. Yeah, I know exactly the ones. I think my mother-in-law's got a handful of them. What? She says she reckons she's got about 800 of these houses.

800? 800. And it's only going to get worse now because people who make them are going to send them to her hoping to make the gram, give it back. Miniature village. Obsessions. Yeah. I wonder if we could take some calls and texts of what your weird obsession is that you can't stop collecting. You know, maybe

you started, maybe you're like one of those people that have like the beanie babies. You're like, I'll just get a couple. Now you've got 800 of the things and you're like, well, I've got to display them. Well, you started collecting like Happy Meal toys when you were a kid and now you're 40. And now you've got so many.

Yeah. And you just can't stop. Can you beat 800? And what is the weird thing that you can't stop collecting? Because some people collect pens, eh? Like pens. Oh, yeah, totally. And they just hang them up on strings.

Matches and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Wet lighters. And it's like one day you just sort of thought, oh, I like those. I might get a few of them. And now I've got 20 and you're like, oh, I think I might start collecting those.

And then it just gets out of hand and now you've got 800 miniature light-up houses. What is it that old people love? Is it elephant statues or dolphin statues? People love those. Dolphins are a big dog. Yeah. Crystal wear.

Yeah. Swarovski. Swarovski. Swarovski. Swarovski crystal statues. Yeah. Okay, 0800-DARLS-IT-M. Maybe you're like Adele and you've got this weird addiction to collecting unusual things.

Yeah. Give us a call, 0800-DARLS-IT-M. Text in 9696. What is the odd or strange thing that you just cannot stop collecting? unusual things. Yeah. Give us a call, 0800 DALES at M, text in 9696. What is the odd or strange thing that you just cannot stop collecting? I'm wanting to know the strange thing you can't stop collecting. Because Adele collects weird miniature homes that all light up and they're Christmas themed. Emma, you collect scented candles.

Yes. Do you burn them at all or do you just leave them in their containers? No, I definitely do use them. Like, I would, there's been times where I've, like, left them on for hours. But, yeah, I think at one point, like, I had almost 30 in my room. Like, a lot of them had been used, but I just couldn't, like, I couldn't get rid of them. I didn't want to get rid of them. How do you breathe?

I don't know. I just love them so much. Your room would smell like one of those lush doors. It's just too much. You know, there's too much scent. Yeah. We should send Emma one of your girls' candles. Well, she can pay, actually.

I don't know Emma from a bar of soap. Are we doing freebies? Friends get freebies. Because I tell you what, the girls gifted me a candle yesterday. It's so strong. It smells so good. Emma would lap it up. Emma, thank you for your call. Sarah, what is the item you cannot stop

collecting? I collected soap. Soaps? What, like little soap bars? Well, you know, like body shop soap, but they would do like a bunch of grapes and a banana. Dude! This is what we used to buy our mum for Mother's Day every year

when we didn't know what to buy for Mother's Day, a little basket and it had like... All the soaps in it. The shaped soaps. Yes. And a banana. So, yeah, I used to just go mad on those and started. I had an Avon key.

And this was probably going to be back about 40 years when it first started. And it was a pink Avon key. Sorry, it was a heart made out of soap. And then you lifted the lid off and there was a white key on the inside. And it was very cool, and I loved it, and that's where it kind of all started.

Can you hear how jazzed up she is? You are so jazzed. Sarah, what are your thoughts on liquid soap? Because I don't like a bar soap. Look, liquid soap's really hard, because I never use these soaps. What's the point of collecting them then? Hey, it's a collection. You don't use them.

You've got to use these. Do you know who's inheriting these soaps, Sarah? Have you got some? Well, when I went with my husband, he thought I was a bit nuts with about 275 soaps I didn't use. And by this date, half of them didn't have the smell. They had all faded. I had wrapped them carefully in tissue

when I went overseas, came back, and yeah, unfortunately, I had kind of binned quite a few of them. Listen to that. You sound insane. You sound insane. A little choke on her words. We're wanting to know the strange things

that you collect. Adele has an issue. She's got an addiction. Yeah, there's like mini Christmas houses. She's got like 800 of them at the moment. Like whole villages and they light up. Yeah, and she was like, I can't stop. My boyfriend keeps saying like, stop, I can't.

We want to know what you collect. Abby, what is the thing that you can't stop collecting? Hi, I collect soft toys. Oh, okay. Any kind? Any specific kind or just all soft toys? Just all soft toys. Right.

How old are you at the moment, Abby? I'm 12. Yeah, see, still okay at 12. At another 10 years, Abby, I am going to be slightly worried. No, but do you have a favourite, Abby? Oh, Kermit the Frog from The Muppet Show. What? Get Kermit rules.

Yeah. How old's Kermit? Has he been one of your original toys? Yeah, I think I've had him since I was three. I stole him off my mum, actually. So you're saying to Abby that you might not have these things. I got my Kwali when I was three and I sleep with Kwali

every night and I'm 33. You've got a long life of these soft toys. You've just got to look after them. Don't put them in the washing machine. Yeah, don't wash Kermie. Abby, it's been a while, but I will dust this off for you. Hi, this is Kermie the Frog for Sesame Street News. Yay! It's a good Kermie.

Just for you. You got Abby's approval. You did. Abby, thank you. Some messages in. The things you just can't stop collecting. I have an obsession to anything elephant. So I have so many elephant-related things all over my room,

and family says I'm like an old lady. You are. An old lady. Yeah. My husband collects Lego minifigs, but he's mad now because they've started coming in boxes, and you can't feel them because they were like blind bags. And you could grab a bag, but if you knew what you were feeling for, you might be able to work boxes and you can't feel because they were like blind bags and you had to you could grab a bag

but if you knew what you were feeling for you might be able to work out what you don't have but now they're in a box so you can't feel the minifigs up

can't give them a good groping before you know and then you get double ups and then you have to do the trading yeah

when did I see some minifig trading and it was like you remember how crazy it was at the end of like the countdown things where they

have the tiles and everything and they do the trading it was like that level of obsessive trading things where they'd have the tiles and everything and they'd do the trading. It was like that level of obsessive trading. I've got an obsession for collecting key rings from everywhere I go, whether it's New Zealand or international. So it's like a fridge magnet.

That can make a trip expensive when you're doing the fridge magnet thing. Yeah, totally. And you're like, man, I've gone to like eight countries. It's eight magnets. $5 a magnet. Oh my God, it's $40. My husband collects Pokemon cards. I don't care what anybody says. It5 a magnet. Oh my god, it's $40. My husband collects Pokemon

cards. I don't care what anybody says, it's bloody odd. Bloody odd, is it? It is, like Jared's shaking his head. I get that because when I was a kid, I wanted to collect cards, but my parents wouldn't give me the money and I didn't have the money. So when you're older and it was always something you wanted when you were younger and you've got the money

to do it, I can see how... It's a bit like when we were talking to Ed Sheeran how we went out and bought all the toys he never had. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. I can totally see

now like if you're an adult like eight bucks a couple of times a week on a pack of Pokemon cards, that's something you can't afford when you're a kid but when you're an adult

you might be like, well, this is my vice. Better than smoking meth. Also grow up though. Yeah. But you're right there. It is better than smoking meth. That's how I justify. That's Vaughn meth. Is it're right there. It is better than smoking meth. That's how I justify it.

That's Vaughan meth. Is it better than meth? Is it better than meth? I'm yet to find anything that's worse. Taylor Swift and Gorgeous. Remember that song. The next one coming up with Georgia at midday. Remember that song and be the first caller through this afternoon with Clinton Maddy.

Maddy filling in while Bree's away. This afternoon to win those tickets. You know I'm a certified Swifty now. Because I've been going through the Swifty school of the producers. That song rolls. I hadn't heard that one, girlies. I like that one. I like that.

I genuinely really like that. I'm officially a Swifty. Yeah, you are. I can't believe it's happened. Listen to a lot of Metallica over the weekend, though'm officially a Switzer. Yeah, you are. I can't believe it's happened. Listen to a lot of Metallica over the weekend, though. Just balance it out. Yeah, I do. Now, speaking of the weekend,

I've been travelling around with the Seven Days Live Tour. So much fun. Off to Wellington after the show today. Then to Invercargill. She's been flying so much. She's a gold now. A gold! She's a big deal, guys. She's a big deal. I'm gold! She's a big deal, guys.

She's a big deal. You know I've been working hard for that too. I've been really excited for months. As the show's only forever, Jade, I will say it's nice to be one with the people. Yeah. The last common man on the show. I'm gold, baby.

I'm going to leave you one else in my dust. It was nice having you, but good luck out there. Can't wait to get my new bag tags. Yeah, someone has to sit at the back of the plane. Someone does. Oh, the seats are just back there, I guess. No point in them being empty. I'm up here in 4A.

I'm loving it. 4A. I'm in 4A. 4A, okay. Yeah, man, I'm in 4A. You get 4A. Oh, that's exciting. Just far back enough to keep your headphones on during the safety briefing.

Yeah, you got it. Yes. Row one, they tell you to take them out. They don't care what we're doing at the back of the plane. We're likely to not survive an impact anyway. Yeah, see you later. And you know what? That's just what it's like being a working class.

Man of the people. You are a man of the people. Thank you both. What I've been touring around and on tour with me is like the creme de la creme of like great comedians who have been at it a long time, right? You've got Corby, you've got Di and Paul, you've got Ben Hurley, Josh Thompson, Justin Smith and little old Hayley. Definitely the youngest and the newest. Yeah.

But I thought, I kind of thought I was doing quite well. Yeah. I've hosted a TV show or two. I've, you know, I acted in a sitcom and I co-host this radio show. Gold frequent flyer and you think you're bloody. Oh, I just thought, I'm going to say I thought it was hot shit.

Yeah, okay. I thought it was hot shit. I would say at least three times I've been hanging out with a skaggle of classic comedians and not not even I has been cast my way like we'll be walking through a venue and people go oh my god oh my god we went to one of the hotels

in Christchurch and everyone was like oh my god oh my god it's Josh Thompson and I was like here we go and they were like oh my god looking around oh my god it's Jeremy, oh my god it's Paul Egger it's Josh Thompson. And I was like, here we go. And they were like, oh my God, looking around. Oh my God, it's Jeremy. Oh my God, it's Paul Egger. Oh my God, it's Di Henwood. Di Henwood. I love Justine Smith.

I'm like, here we go. Headlining this moment. Nothing. Absolutely nothing my way. Literally nothing. I was like, are you serious? You don't even know who I am. This is unreal.

And then yesterday, we were, this is absolutely unreal this is a bold take to voice this in New Zealand I know yeah I'm shocked

that people are unaware of right of my importance and my weight in this industry yeah then yesterday we got off the plane

and we had lots of stuff like we travelled a bit with the crew and stuff and we were like we might as well get a shuttle yeah we commandeered a vehicle

you know you know the shuttles we don't want to go with the plebs we wanted a shuttle well, we might as well get a shuttle. We've commandeered a vehicle. You know, the shuttles, we don't want to go with the plebs. We wanted a shuttle to ourselves. Yeah, sort of a closed off shuttle for the Gold Elite. For the Hollywoods. Yeah, yeah. The Gold Elite, that's right. And so we were trying to go, oh, how do you do it? Do you just go and say, can we have a shuttle

just for us? And so me and Josh Thompson went, oh, we'll go sort it out. And we went outside. And then we went outside Thompson went, oh, we'll go sort it out. And we went outside. And then we went outside and we were like, excuse me, we're hoping that we might be able to get a shuttle for five of us with quite a bit of gear.

And he goes, oh my God, Josh Thompson, you're Josh Thompson, huge fan. And I was like, here we go. All right.

Fan of Josh. Holy shit, you must love me. You know, here we go. Oh, here we go. Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. Fan of Josh. Holy shit, you must love me. You know, here we go. Oh, here we go. Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing.

This is good. This is good. Yeah, so he's sorting out Josh. I'll sort you out. Hops on the blower. Organises us a shuttle to turn up with everything. Other people turn up. Oh, my God, it's Jeremy Corbett.

Can't believe it. And I was like, oh, wow, wow. Here we go. And he says, you wouldn't take a picture, would you? Giving me the phone to take a picture of him with Josh Johnson. You're humbled. You're being humbled. Yeah.

And then Josh could see on my face and I was like. And then Josh did a classic gag, which was like, oh, Mel Bracewell does a bit of stuff. And the guy goes, oh, yeah, and then just walked off. I've been so humbled. Not only did he not know me for me, he didn't even care that I was Mel Bracewell either. So I've been doubly insulted.

He's sexist then. That's all we can put this down to. Yeah, women aren't funny. Women aren't funny. Well, there you go. You've been humbled. Can you feel it that I've come back? Because I went up.

I was gold elite. I got gold status. Yeah. And then I've been brought back down. That's nice. I think it's good. It's good for the ego to be humbled. Yeah.

Also, a couple of times people were saying, I love Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You're so lucky to work with Fletch and Vaughan. Great guys. I was like, well, I'm also bringing something. It's because we're quite humble, I think. Yeah. It's because we're men of the people.

I'm a third part. And I don't like it when people I think. Yeah. It's because we're men of the people. Yeah, but I'm also, I'm a third part. And I don't like it when people say that. Really, when they say that you guys are great. Nope. Don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone. Well, I do want to hear it.

So Nick, if you see me out in the wild. She needs a lot. Make a big deal. Make a little fuss. Hayley needs a big, yeah, she needs some attention. Justin, oh my God, it's Hayley Sproul. That'll just do my day. That'll just absolutely do my day.

So where are we headed next? You're leaving? Off to Wellington today, which is my hood. Yeah. So you're going to be around Wellington. I'm going to be around Wellington. I'm going to go up Cuba Street. It's my favourite street.

Yeah. So if you see Hayley. Just a little, oh my God. What were you even wearing? Maybe you're waiting to get your t-shirt. I'm Hayley Sproul. I'm wearing what I'm wearing. Get one of those t-shirts as seen on TV.

Yes. But my show's got cancelled. Yeah, scenes post tense. Yes, humbled again. Humbled again. That's good stuff. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who's texted and made a big deal out of me. Don't do that. No, it's nice. It's really nice. I've got my niece. She's messaged. One of my best friends, she's messaged.

So I feel validated. Thanks, guys. Now, we were talking about a really funny moment in which a friend of Fletcher's had taken a scantily clad photo in your bathroom. Well, by the way, we were all drinking in the lounge. Why, we were literally there. Yeah. Producers and us were all there having a few drinky-boos.

Have you asked, has this picture achieved what it set out to achieve? Has this been a real trauma? I've heard from a handful of people that have recognised my bathroom. Yeah, well, it's a bespoke bathroom. Oh my God, it's got a revolving door. Wait a minute, what? The whole house.

It's got a front door. A lot of people know what your bathroom looks like. The best part about that picture of your bathroom is you can't tell that the Aesop bottle is full of palm olive. Oh my God, it's bright orange. Can you stop telling people I refill my Aesop bottle? You stop refilling Aesop with palm olive and I'll stop telling people it happened.

It's not palm olive, it's another cheaper soap. That's not green. Well, it's bright orange. It's dove. What he does, he moolies up a dove bar. He makes his own soap. I make my own liquid soap. Piles a whole lot of Dove bars into a butter churner

with some whale oil and... Yeah. He gets it going. So we were talking about this last week. And we received a text about, like, funny, you know, weird people had taken funny photos. And someone texted saying, I know a girl whose Tinder photo is one she took of herself

at her own mother's funeral in the bathroom. Capital's her mother. So, you know, very sad. Your mother died. I can't imagine anything worse. Yeah, but you're at your mother's funeral. And you're looking good. You're really sad.

You go to the bathroom and you see a mirror like I've got. It's basically a ring light. And you're like, I'm looking great. Yeah. Do you take a photo? I guess you do. You're like I've got. It's basically a ring light. And you're like, I'm looking great. Yeah. Do you take a photo? I guess you do. You're like, goodness gracious.

Grief wears well on me. Some people do look hot at a funeral. Myself included. You know why. It's black. You in a blazer as well. A nice blazer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Black is slimming. Fresh shaved head. Beard trimmed. Riddled with grief. You're riddled with shadows in the face. Skinny black tie. Yeah. Hasn't eaten. You know, a couple of daysiddled with grief. You're riddled with shadows in the face. Skinny black tie. Hasn't eaten. You know, a couple of days of stress and grief.

Absolutely. You catch me before I hit that wake bar though because I'm getting, A, I'm getting plastered and B, I'm eating so many club sandwiches. I'm puffy. I'm going to be a little puffy. I'm carrying a lot of white bread. I'm carrying a lot of white bread.

I don't know how to process my emotions. I'm sloppy drunk and I'm eating a lot of white bread I'm carrying a lot of white bread I don't know how to process my emotions I'm sloppy drunk and I'm eating egg sandwiches So we asked on Instagram What is the dating profile photo That gets a lot of attention Yeah Like maybe you've taken it to a strange place Listen to this

I cannot believe this Okay someone said it's not a picture But I do have a prompt in my bio Saying I bet I can guess your mum's name and it goes hard. Excuse me. Wait, did they steal that from you? Yeah. Jay Hickey. Okay. Jickey.

Jickey is the, Jickey is, this might be Jim Hickey, this might be ex-Weather Presenter Jim Hickey. It could be. Who has maybe moved from being a hardline conservative Christian into, you know, a middle-aged man looking for some poon to do. I don't think that's him. I don't think that's him.

It's different Jay Hickey then. Yeah, he said it's not a picture, but I bet I can guess your mum's name. Prompt goes hard. And then, of course, it would start some back and forth, and then you're in a convo. That's brilliant. We're happy to be part of creating connections here.

Hook-ups. You listen to ZM. Yeah, I listen to ZM. But we do have to take our percentage cut. Yeah, we're going to need... Nude pics. No, we'll just...

I didn't say that. Who said that? I don't want pictures of the naked people together. I don't need that. We'll just send them right through. Carwin at ZM online.com.

Send them to her and that's on my hands of claim. What if she forwards them on? I don't want to... No, no, no. I don't want to forward it. She'll call me out on her computer. So some other messages in.

Morgie says, any pic with cleavage? The slightest bit of visibility. There's a zoom in. Guys will comment. I like a bit of the cleave. A bit of the cleave. I'm not a big cleave girl.

Maybe I could get into that a bit more. Would that be like an opening line or something you'd bring up? Nice cleave. No, no, but it would get them. Yeah,. Would that be like an opening line or something you'd bring up? Nice cleave. No, no, but it would get them. Yeah, right. It's not an opening line.

It's just you're just giving them a little. Yeah, okay. You get a bit more traffic when you've got a bit of cleave. Yeah, and then they'll message your match or. It is distracting. Remember that time I had extreme cleavage on the show? Yeah. We just had to all look away.

I had so many Hail Marys after that show. I really had to. Nothing I could do about it. Repent. Sally messaged saying a picture of her holding a fish. See, I like the spin. The spin.

Because it's usually the dudes doing the hunting and the fishing on the Tinder. Yeah, but if I was a girl I'd just be like this girl's going to come back home

smelling like fish over the weekend. No, but she's a girl who's going to smell like fish. Yeah, I don't want anyone smelling like fish. Yeah, no, all of them. You've got that lovely

palm olive in the bathroom they can wash off the fishy smell with. It's actually Aesop. It's not. It is. It's not. It's hospital grey.

Yeah, dude. It's orange soap. It's so cheap. I'm pretty sure that's outlawed in the EU. It looks like Aesop. The European Union was like, no.

No. Too harsh. Someone, SJ, write, me in a homemade Pringles can costume. Low-hanging fruit for snack-based pickup lines. Oh, yeah, like, yeah, I'm looking like I take a snack on you. Yeah, you're looking like a snack. I'll pop your cat lid.

Stop. Do you come and start framing chives? Yeah, I'll put my hand in and get... Nope. No? Probably wouldn't. Do you come and Salpram and chives? Yeah I'll put my hand in Nope No? Probably wouldn't I'll put it right up To my mouth

And tap the end And get all the crumbs Yeah yeah yeah You got it That's what I'd do I'll put you right up To my mouth And tap the end

I mean it is low hanging fruit There it is I love Tabby Says Bikini pick Of course Of course It's the togs It's the togs baby Oh yeah of course Stephanie said low-hanging fruit. There it is. I love Tabby says bikini pic. Of course. Of course.

Of course it's the togs. It's the togs baby. Oh yeah of course. Stephanie said my sausage dog. She's got a sausage dog. Now is that a euphemism? No no no.

I think it's an actual sausage dog because she follows it with the dog emoji. It's just so long. See if that hadn't been Stephanie if that had been

Stephen saying my sausage dog I would wonder if there was a double meaning down there. My sausage dog. Nice sausage dog. I would wonder if there was a double meaning down there. My sausage dog. Shannon says... Nice sausage dog. Nice sausage, comma,

dog. Yeah. Hands down photos with pets in them. Really? If you want hands down your pants, you've got to go hands down on pets. That is Shannon's slogan apparently. Wow. Well, if you don't have a dog or a cat, just go and pretend to have some pose or something.

Just go to a dog park. Yeah. Find one off leash and get a quick snap. Sue said, a photo of me with people dressed up as the Mandalorians at Armageddon. Nerds. That'd get you. That'd get me.

You wouldn't have under that helmet. Wearing a bikini in the snow. You got your hot and cold there. You got a real, I'd have questions. Yeah. I can see why that I'd have questions. Yeah. I can see why that one works for Kirstie, who messaged in that that's her most popular Tinder pic.

It gets the most interaction and comments. But there you go, some tips, I guess, as well, for the singles out there. Fact of the day is next. Do we have a week this week? Honey badger week. It's honey badger week. It's honey badger week.

Yay! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. This week's Fact of the Day theme is the humble, unstoppable, fearless, beautiful, really cute, extra cheeky honey badger. Are you going to play the original honey badger video? That guy.

Yeah. Honey badger don't give a shit. The honey badger's like just doing all that wild stuff. Here he is eating a snake. So good. I mean, people have got to have something to do in their own time. And I would encourage you to see. Yeah, it's great.

All sorts of amazing Honey Badger content. Aren't they super violent? No, they're just not scared of anything. Wasn't that the thing that the Honey Badger was like a wild? Yeah, wild, unstoppable. The big thing is they are commonly, this isn't even, this is a sub fact. Oh my God.

This is a bonus fact. I always say them, it's a whole week of this. The most fearless Creature On earth They do not know Retreat Is that the fact of the day? No no no

This is a sub fact We're a sub fact They are generally They are generally Considered by Zoologists And animal experts As a fearless creature

They don't Exert They don't Show fear Like other animals They're so cute Damned cute They're so I don't like them For those who don't show fear like other animals. They're so cute. Damned cute. I don't like them. They're like a South African Tasmanian

devil and you know I've got love for the Tasmanian devil. It's my favourite animal. They're around 8. Yeah they are. They do look a bit sloth. Like a fast sloth. A less slothful sloth. Well, today's fact that I'm going to ease you in

with why it's called the honey badger. Please do. It is the honey badger. Its Latin name, its scientific name is Malavora capensis, which translates to honey eater of the Cape. Now, the Cape they're talking about is South Africa because that was where they were first identified. They're also known in South Africa as a rattle,

which is a Dutch word, they think, because it makes a rattly sound. Does it? Yep. And it also rattles as a Dutch word for honeycomb. Right. R-A-T

is a Dutch word for honeycomb, because they love honey more than anything else. Honey badgers have a big old sweet tooth. That because they love honey more than anything else. Honey badgers. Honey badgers have a big old sweet tooth. That's why they're called honey badgers, because they get into beehives and they just like gorge themselves. Immune to bee venom.

Really? Immune to bee venom. So they just eat the bees too, like they wouldn't mind? No, they'll eat the bees. If they've got honey on them, they'll eat it. They just get in there and they just... Does that spike their blood sugar levels? Or they'll have crash in the bees. If they've got honey on them, they'll eat it. They just get in there and they just... Does that spike their blood sugar levels? They don't give a toot. They're a honey badger.

Honey badger don't give a toot. And they're out there and they just get in there and they'll eat anything. They're omnivorous. So they'll eat, you know, honey. Basically, that's honey and meat for them. Which sounds like a hell of a diet. What a great diet. Honey and meat? What, which sounds like a hell of a diet. What a great diet. Honey and meat?

What about honey soy chicken wings? Oh, my God. They would absolutely love them. And they would go to no end. What about like a honey glazed fried chicken? You know, like crispy. So they are all over Africa. Also, I didn't know, India and the Middle East as well, the honey badger.

Okay. They're all around there, but they never made their way to Korea because if they had, they'd be in big trouble because you know the Koreans love sweet chicken. Yeah, they do.

Sweet fried chicken. They'd be in real trouble. Especially the honey glaze. So cute. So wild. They're like little hairlines. Yeah. They've got like a little real

straight hairline. Straight fringe with the white. Did we talk about last week, the video about Stoffel? Stoffel the honey badger? No. Okay, that's everybody's homework. Stoffel S. We should have sold this fact of the day week long sponsorship

to Honey Badger Saloon in Wellington. I thought you were going to play that. Is that Honey Badger Saloon in Wellington? Yeah, there is. It's a saloon? It's a saloon, yeah. That gives me a real, like, this is a crazy place. This gives me, like, shit goes down at the Honey Badger Saloon.

Cool. Yeah, what happens? What's on there? Is there specialty cocktails? Hayley's after Wellington. We could send her on a reconnaissance. Yeah, absolutely. I'm happy to go.

Yeah, Featherston Street. Oh, I love Featherston Street. Please, please get a photo oh my god look at the yeah you look at this yeah good stuff look at that

oh now we all need to go to Wellington get on my flight one o'clock yeah alright we're going down and she'll be sitting at the front because she's gold now I'm 4A

it doesn't matter we're down the back I'll be down the back I'll be down the back 23 23B like the little honey badger I am. So today's fact of the day is the honey badger,

its Latin name translates to honey eater of the Cape because it loves nothing more than getting into a beehive and just gobbling up all that honey. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. People are learning. I love hearing when people learn from fact of the day. I just realised that my entire life, I thought a beaver and a badger were the same thing,

but I thought everything was a beaver. When you were calling them honey badgers, I imagined you were calling them honey beavers, which for some reason I was not okay with. But I'm now very okay with the honey badger. Learning. Welcome aboard. I'm just trying to find out exactly how much rain fell at the Burning Man Festival. But all of these sites, I've searched inches, millimetres.

It's bad when it rains in the desert, I reckon. Yeah, I reckon it's probably not ideal because it's the sort of environment where the environment doesn't know what to do with that much water all at once. So flash floods basically washed out Burning Man. And everyone knows what Burning Man is. It's just a big festival in the middle of the desert. So part of the end of Burning Man is that they burn all these structures. They burn the man.

Yes. And they've had to delay all the burning. So the Burning Man has not been burnt. There's another whole temple that gets burned. I can't help but say environmentally that feels like it doesn't align with the hippies that are there. But all of it can't get burnt. So burning man is not burning.

Well, people are trying to evacuate. They can't get out. The clips on TikTok and Instagram are insane. I know. Screw that. Sorry. I would. Screw that. Sorry. I would hate to be there. Because usually it's so dry and arid in this desert

that everyone has to wear goggles and sort of balaclavas because if the wind gets up, the sand will just strip you. You know what it's like getting sand in your mouth and your eyes? It's horrible. So this is not at all in the wheelhouse of what they're usually dealing with. And I just read if you're in a four-wheel drive vehicle, you may be able to get out, but some are getting stuck. But if you're not in a four-wheel drive vehicle,

it wouldn't be advised that you try to leave. Who's driving into the desert in a non-four-wheel drive vehicle? And then I'm looking and there's like these two-wheel drive camper vans and like, you know, electric cars. Normally it's so dry that people can just drive in. Of course, yeah. Well, the traffic in looks awful. Yeah. Oh Normally it's so dry that people can just drive in. Of course, yeah. Well, the traffic in looks awful. Yeah.

Oh, it's your worst nightmare. It just turned to mud. It went from sand to mud in no time at all. One of our very owners there. And we can't get a hold of her. Step from the office. It's like her third Burning Man she's been to. Yeah.

I've got a lot of questions when she comes back. I know. Like, why? Why are you there? You know, see, I would love to go. I've always thought it'd be an incredible experience to see once. I just feel like it's too big. They build a whole city.

You've got to get your bikes in and food and all that. Oh, no. I'm more of a big day out girl. You know, get on a bus back to Auckland City and then I'm fine. Then you're fine. Yeah. Well, that's long gone, unfortunately, for you, the big day out girl, you know, get on a bus back to Auckland City and then I'm fine. Then you're fine. Well, that's long gone, unfortunately, for you, the big day out.

I know. I've abandoned a festival before. Because I thought of you when this happened. Not that it was torrential rain that caused this, was it? No, it was just torrential douchebags in a campground at Rhythm and Vines. And we did one night and someone got in their car and drove over a tent and there was a guy stuck in the tent and he was fine,

but he was under the car and there was screaming and then there was like poos everywhere. And I was just like, not for me. This was back in the day. It was a lot looser back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. And then this was the one where they were like, actually, you know what?

If you can't all behave, we're going to not have this festival anymore. Festivals have tidied themselves up a bit. Well, they kind of had to, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like restrictions on booze in the campgrounds and stuff now. Yeah, and they've got those drug testing stations, so no one's going to be bloody. And I was exiting my party era.

What were you doing in your early 20s? I probably would have got stuck in. Yeah. But no, I think I was on the exit there. I prefer a calm New Year's with some chums. Sitting around in an Airbnb. And a nice steak in the bar there. Yeah, the Airbnb.

Oh, well, we've got to have something. Meat and not a flash cook. It's going to be a lower and a slower process. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Hands. We wanted to ask this morning, when was the festy not the besty?

When did it all go wrong at a festival? Because the rain ruined things, the mud. So many, you see all the time in festivals in New Zealand, you see crushed tents and people are sleeping in these things. Or just overseas as well, like Glastonbury. I think this year it wasn't muddy, but most years it's like a foot of mud and you're like I don't see the point of that. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. When was the festy not the best day? Yeah. It doesn't mean you had to have been rained out to something that went wrong while you were camping at a festival. Yeah. Or an event. Yeah. We'd love to hear your stories. I'd love to hear if wildlife were involved. Oh.

In my mind, imagine, you know, a North American Canadian festival where a bear was just like, keep it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be good stuff. A bear. This festy was not the bestie because there was a bear. There was a pestie. Because there was a pestie bear. Yeah, or you're a

festival in Australia and there's snakes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe you got bitten by a snake in the mosh pit and you're like, oh, well. I don't think there are snakes in a mosh pit. Yeah, the snakes get in there. Primarily in the snake pit part of the middle of the mosh pit. Give us a call. 0800 DALES, that Amazon number.

Text through 9696. When was the festy? Not the besty. Talking about the time when your festival experience wasn't great, when it maybe took a turn for the worst. Went a bit sour. I think someone has died as well at Burning Man. Like, there were flash floods.

People stranded, a lot of mud. I think it's all just been kind of called off now. I don't think they know whether the person who died is because of the floods. I think someone dies at Burning Man every year. Someone got burnt in the thing. No, no, no. They were like high and they ran into it when it was on fire. And I think after that they put up the wall.

So we want to know this morning. Oh. Dwarves has got a mood. We've got a computer issue here. Here we go. Let's go to Phil. Phil, good morning. Good morning.

How are you guys? When was the festy not the besty? It wasn't quite a festival. It was New Year's in Wanaka. I'm thinking it was mid-2000s, 2005, 2006. Okay. Albert Towns, Camping Round, was the place to go. So we pulled up and we're like, oh, it's really busy.

Let's just walk in and we'll see where we can pitch the tent. We're like, yep, sweet. We parked outside the venue. We start walking in and there's a lot of commotion going on, but it's where we can pitch the tent. We're like, yep, sweet. We parked outside the venue. We start walking in and there's a lot of commotion going on, but it's just music, noise, whatever. We get in. We start heading towards where we can see a small fire going. We're like, okay, this is not quite right,

but we'll just keep going to where all the noise is coming from. As we get closer, this police vehicle starts reversing out of this area as fast as it possibly can and all its panels have been kicked in, all the windows have been smashed. You can hear this chant starting up, after police, after police. Oh no, in

Albert Town. Yeah. Goodness me. In Albert Town. Oh no. There we are. We decided to carry on walking towards the commotion. We get there, and where this fire had started, these people had obviously got up in arms, flipped this car over, and lit it on fire.

Oh, my gosh. The tires are exploding. Yeah, it's going nuts. Wow. Yeah. I'm like, thank God we parked outside of here, because we are not staying here. Yeah. I'm just trying to have a nice New of here because we are not staying here. Yeah. I'm just trying to have a nice New Year's with my friends.

Incredible, Phil. Thank you. Athena, when was Festy not the bestie? A few years ago now, mid-2000s. Me and my sister and brother-in-law all went to Rhythm and Vine. Yep. We turned up to, I can't remember what the campsite was called, but it was before

New Years and me and my brother-in-law decided that we'd go watch some live gigs on and we got a hot dog just to kill us for the next few hours and woke up later that night not feeling so good and we both

ended up catching food poisoning. Oh, screw you. Having a trotty-botty at a campground. Not anybody's idea of a fun time. A trotty-botty at a festival. You knew. I'd just go home. Yeah, get me out of here.

Just be straight home. Call the chopper. Athena, thanks. I don't know if they evacue bed. Call the chopper. I'm shitting myself. I'm going to go home. Keep your texts coming in 9696. Your calls are all 800 dials at M. We'll get to

more of those next. We've asked when the festy wasn't the bestie. Burning Man is turning to absolute sludgy cucker over there because it's had a big rainfall in the desert. Flash flooding. Do you know what I'm really surprised about? We haven't had a single text about the late 90s,

early 2000s Vans Warped Tour. Now, those were the ones where picket fences got set on fire, cars got flipped, and Fonda Vitar was like, you are not coming back here for punks. And then it happened somewhere else, and then Waihi Beach was like, you can come here, but you've got to behave. And everyone was like, promise.

And then it went there, and it was the worst one yet, and they were just like, no more Vans Walk Tour. Yeah, that was wild. I remember those. Some of the messages we're getting in are absolutely insane. Chandra, you had a bad, feisty experience? Yep. Chandra?

Yes. Yeah, I'm here. Are you driving a tractor? She's at Burning Man. She's like, I'm here. I'm at Burning Man. She's got a live on the spot report of Burning Man. Sorry. No, I'm in Burning Man. She's got a live on the spot report of Burning Man. Sorry,

no, I'm driving. Okay. It's a terrible connection. No, it's fine now. It's better now. It's better now.

It's better right there. Tell us the story. Sweet, sweet. So, I was at OM Festival, New Year's Festival,

about to celebrate the year 2020. Awesome year, I am. Yeah, such a great year. And so because I'm a New Year's baby, yeah, you're lucky me, we were setting up camp and stuff the day of my birthday.

Now, my boyfriend was being a little bit weird that day and I was like, okay, like, don't know what's going on with him, but, you know. Oh, he's going to propose. He's going you know. Oh, he's going to propose. He's going to propose. Oh, maybe. He's nervous. He's nervous.

Got to the end of the day and I was like, joined him, you know, in the tent for some snuggles. And I was like, okay, you know, like, now I get my happy birthday cuddles and stuff. And a tent. So romantic. Yeah. And a tent. So romantic. Yeah, it's birthday. And then he decides to tell me on my birthday that the reason he's been weird all day is because he cheated on me a couple of days prior and possibly caught an FBI. No!

And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! And you! Oh no. Happy birthday. Oh no. Chandra, that sucks. Needless to say, we broke up a few months later. A few months later. I know, I know.

Let him do the course of antibiotics. Yeah, yeah. See what we're like on the other side. Oh my God. Wow. Far out. Thank antibiotics. Yeah, yeah. See what we're like on the other side. Oh, my God. Wow. Far out. Thank God. Oh, my God.

But see, that's just as bad as having the runny poos or a flash flood, isn't it? What, the Bernie wheeze? Devastating. Yeah. What if she got the trotty body as well as the Bernie wheeze? That's a hell of a combo when you're camping. Chandra, thank you for your call. Some messages in.

A New Year's Eve campground story. My friend and I were in our tent the night before New Year's Eve and some guys thought it would be funny to collapse the tent. Guys are dickheads. I'll tell you that. I want you all to stay away from them.

My friend was claustrophobic and started hyperventilating and panicked and tried to get out and she hit her head on the gas bottle. And it was so bad we had to go and spend the night in a hospital which was something out of a horror movie because it was a bad we had to go and spend the night in a hospital which was something out of

a horror movie because it was a small regional hospital and made of cinder block walls in a hospital. We were all very scared. We had a message in from Bella on Instagram. Got pushed over in a port-a-loo six hours waiting in ED to see if I needed my nose stitched up. Again, that would have been

guys dying guys. Just here, guys. You ought to stay away from them. They're bad news. I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones

on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we

speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Sarah Desi. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.