ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 5th August 2024

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

Blessed Athlete  Top 6: Things your dog could accidentally eat  Producer Jared left something in his Twitch Bio...  James McOnie!  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley Sproull; Soccer Mum  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Sup, dog?

Sup, dog? No medals overnight. That's all right. That's okay. We don't have to bloody win a medal every night, do we? God. Setting unrealistic expectations. Yeah, we're fourth on the medals per capita.

That's okay. Lucia's still first. Yep. And Dominica? Dominica? Dominica. Dominica. Not Dominican Republic.

No. Not to be confused. Not to be confused. And Granada. So, yeah. Great stuff. Oh, yeah, because Dominica has 71,000 people. Hello, mother.

What did they win their medal for? It's a lovely, lovely looking island in the East Caribbean. Should we go? Yeah. You know what I mean? Keen. What, just do the show from the Caribbean? Keen.

Keen. Did you get out much this weekend? I'm keen. Yep. Did you stretch your legs and stuff? Yep. Burn off some energy? Yep. Yep. Did you stretch your legs and stuff? Burn off some energy? Yep. Yep.

That's good. Sure did. Thanks for checking in. That's good. Thanks for checking in. Triple jump champ. That's what they won their gold for. Dominica.

Okay. Because I searched Dominica and then I scrolled down a little bit, it tells me about Thier Lafond, the triple jump champ. It's like the hop, skip, jump. Right. Well, we'll cross to James from Coney this morning around 7. It's like the hop, skip, jump. Right. Well, we'll cross to James from Coney this morning around 7.30 for all the latest from Paris

at the Olympics. Our personal Olympic correspondent. That we personally sent. We actually, the three of us, people listening don't know this, the three of us actually chipped in. Yeah. We said,

ZM was like, no, we can't afford it. We were like, we'll pay. We'll pay. We'll make it happen. We're definitely not just attaching to the fact that he's there with Stein. Yeah, no.

And he's sort of just doing us a solid. No, no, no, we chipped in. Let's just kind of show you got here. Top six on the way. Also coming up, the unfortunate incident that has cost an Olympian gold. This was big news yesterday.

Yeah. But we want to talk about big news. Very big news. Big floppy news that we want to talk about soon. Better floppy than not, to be fair. Next on the show. A bit of controversy out of a classroom. And as a woman,

God, I would have hated this. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. You know I love New Plymouth. Yes. Actually, I love the whole Taranaki region and I'm actually down there in a couple of weeks. Actually, you're coming with me, aren't you? I'm going to do a roadie. Yeah, I'm doing my show, Wild Flutters. You can

buy tickets. And I'm going to go again and pretend to laugh like I'm doing my show, Wild Flutters. You can buy tickets. And I'm going to go again and pretend to laugh like I've never heard the jokes before. What do you mean pretend to laugh? Well, because I've heard the jokes. What do you mean pretend to laugh? Well, no, because I've heard the jokes. Tell me the jokes. You remember every single joke? It'll still be funny.

You remember them all. But I'm going to have to laugh again, and I've already laughed at them. Right. A re-laugh. I'll be re-laughing. That's okay. But that's fine. You can re-laugh.

You just don't have to pretend. It's like Friends. Right. A re-laugh. I'll be re-laughing. That's okay. But that's fine. You can re-laugh. You just don't have to pretend. It's like Friends. It's like watching a rerun of Friends like four months after you've seen it. So less of a like a, and more of a, that's right. That's right. I remember that bit. Why are you getting dinner ready?

Yeah. Because that's how everybody watches Friends when dinner's on. And then they're like, oh shit, the chase. And then they quickly change channels to the chase. Well, don't change channels. You can't leave. It's only an hour long show. Well, maybe you should do some questions in the comedy show. Have you thought about doing a comedy show that's like just the chase? That's just the chase.

Funny questions. Well, that would just be the chase. Funny questions, but funny. Yeah. Right. Like the Fanny Schmallow one. I'm talking Fanny Schmallow level funny. No, I'm sort of just crafting my own comedy. Don't listen to us. We've got great advice, but whatever.

Go your own way. Why don't you do Comedy Fest next year and you could do your funny change? You could just ask questions. That's the name of the show. Just asking some questions. I'm only here to ask the questions. Yeah. Well, we head to Taranaki for this news.

Inglewood, actually. Yeah. And a dad has pulled his daughter out of a high school, Well, we head to Taranaki for this news. Inglewood, actually. Yeah. And a dad has pulled his daughter out of a high school, like completely changing the school, because she asked to go to the toilet. She was denied, which then caused her to bleed through her clothing because she was menstruating. And the reason the school said no was because they went,

we've got a vaping and a vandalism problem. You're telling me. Honestly. So I was down in Wellington with my best friend and her kids. Yeah. And her son is 10 years old. And she's like, he was like, oh my God, so-and-so like vapes and like brings vapes to school. I was like, what?

Yeah, dude. It's wild. Primary. Not even intermediate, not high school. Primary. And they're like, this guy vapes. I was like, where's he getting the vapes? His cousins. They're just all vaping.

Well, see, they're not letting people go on toilet break because they're going to go vape in the toilet. Yeah, so they're like, you can go during lunch breaks and your morning tea breaks where the teachers can be kind of like paroling it and there and around

whereas if you're just like ducking off to go to the toilet you can do whatever you want in there. She was just like, I have to go. I can't remember. I think you could go to the toilet if you asked. But sometimes if the teacher was grumpy they might be like, no, wait till the bell.

Yeah, same. If they knew you were taking the piss. Yeah, just trying to get out and go be silly buggers. Totally. But I mean, the dad brings up a good point, which is like if a child was like vomiting or had diarrhea, you wouldn't be like, no, you can't go. Hold it in.

Hold it in. And that's exactly what this person said. You kind of squeeze it in and hold it. I mean, it's mortifying. She's 14 years old. Yeah, that's horrible. Worst case, it's just like, the whole thing is like, it makes me feel like, I remember

this. So yeah, he's like pulled it out. And then the teachers are just obviously like, what do we do? We can't have kids just like running off to this, you know, to the bathrooms and causing chaos. But now this has happened. I'll never forget.

Maybe this is too much. No names. It wasn't me. No names. It definitely wasn't Hayley. No, no, no. It definitely actually wasn't me. But when I was a marching girl in...

Oh, yeah, this is too much. Is this the story you said before? Yeah, is it too much? Yeah, absolutely it's too much. Oh, I didn't get to hear it. I'll dial around it. When I marched in under 16s, so you're get to hear it. I'll dial around it. When I was marching under 16s, so you're all teenagers, one girl in my marching team said to the coach,

I need to go to the toilet when you're in the middle of training. And she was like, no, no, you can just hold it. And then she was like, well, I think I've got my period. And the marching coach was like, can't you just have a feel and check? Well, this was the female marching coach was like, can't you just have a feel and check? This was the female marching coach. Yeah, dude. Rogue sport. Can't you just have a feel and check? Yeah, rogue sport.

Rogue sport. Rogue sport. Different time. Different time. 20 years ago, you know. Yeah. Different time. Thanks for changing the language of that.

Yeah, thank you. Because when you told me that story before. Not quite what she said. Not quite what she said? No. Oh, it was worse than that. It was worse than that. Oh, Vaughan, it was way worse.

Oh. Next on the show. I look forward to the unedited version in about 30 seconds to find out. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. But if I Google French pole vaulter, you bet. Yep.

Top story. You bet. There is, in the world, there is no other French pole vaulter apart from Anthony Amarati, who's big, fat doodle knocked to the bar. Have you seen the amazing photo of the exact moment the entire thing rests on the bar?

Yeah. I follow this Instagram account, and it's someone generally what they do is they paint pop culture stuff into old, like they'll buy an old landscape. Yes. And then they'll paint like the Death Star in it and Star Wars X-Wings. Right. Coming in or something like that.

That's kind of an example. And then he'll like have the lasers hitting the corner of the frame and then he paints like the corner of the frame exploding. Oh, yeah. He got a blank canvas, put it in an old frame, drew that guy at the bottom with his doodle leaning on the frame and then he bent the frame. And he did it and this only happened over the weekend and this guy was just like, I know what I have to do.

And immediately got out the paints and painted this amazing beautiful painting of this guy's massive wang. The memes in the news stories are so great it's a sausage I ain't god looking at it

he was out of the pole vault yeah and it was it was for it was for a medal yeah like he's he's missed out on a medal

because of he's missed out on a medal because he's got a big old wang heartbreaking to miss the gold little bit sad to miss the silver do you think it's good for us? I'd happily give up the bronze if everybody knew I had a massive spongy Wang.

Yeah. It is. It's really. It's heavy. It takes the impact. I've watched it in slow motion. It's heavy. You're the pervert.

I'm okay. 21-year-old. Admit it. He's spoken out. He's finally what's he said it's a big disappointment he told the friend

I nearly spat your coffee out oh god it's a big disappointment it's a big disappointment big disappointment it's a big disappointment

I'm a bit gutted because I didn't miss anything on the third attempt at 5 metres 70 which is just an insane amount of height yeah it is what I did miss was a bit gutted because I didn't miss anything on the third attempt at 5m70. Which is just an insane amount of height. Yeah, it is. What I did miss was a bit of jumping and training to fine-tune the settings. Maybe he needs a good old tuck next time.

Yeah. I was at 100% physically. You're telling us, boss. But I was missing a bit of pole vault. Oh, gosh. Yeah. You've got to learn to do a drag tuck. If you're skimming through things.

But does that affect the run up to the vault, to the pole vault? Yeah, I suppose so. You know, like if you're strapping yourself in, that's going to like, it doi-wi-wi-wi-wings after it bounces off the bar. It's like the bar goes la-la-la. Yeah, remember the bars go boing and they bounce, and then it's like the bar's bouncing and so is the doodles. Because it's under it. Yeah. The bar

gone under it. Yeah. Flopped it up. Wow. It's so funny. And the commentators are like mmm. Mmm. This Olympics has had some cool moments. Yeah. This, the Turkish guy

who just kind of casually leans back. Have you seen him edited into the Pulp Fiction? Yeah. Oh, I know. It's really good. Standing next to Samuel L. Jackson. And John Travolta. Yeah, with his gun.

He's so cool, eh? Yeah. And then when they're like, what's your technique? Because everyone's got those eye things and the this and the that. And he's like, I just feel it. He's got silver. He's got silver just by like, eh, feel it. We got silver. We got silver just by like, eh, boing.

Vibe check. Vibe check. Vibe check. Just runs a straight vibe check on it. Yeah. Yeah. Silver.

Well, we'll catch up with James McHoney at the Olympics 7.30 this morning. The top six next on the show. Yes, the top six other things your dog might eat if you walk

it through central Auckland. This is an insane story. A dog ate meth? A dog ate meth. Methamphetamine. A little wee doggy. I think he ate it. Well, you know that cafes have the little bowls of water outside?

Some of them have little bowls of meth. Is that how? Lapping up the meth. No. Oh, okay. No. It was a good shot though, Fletch. Yeah, it was a good guess.

If only your massive wang hadn't gotten in the way. I know. And ruined it for you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Well, this is very sad.

A lovely, well, I don't know if she's lovely. I'll say she's lovely. She's going through bloody hell. A lovely lady, Victoria, was walking her three-year-old 7kg Norwich Terrier. A Norwich Terrier? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Don't know what that is. A three-years-old called Fleur on the usual route. Oh, that's a little dog. All of a sudden, she started panicking, pacing, whining, growling. This is the dog, not Fleur. Fleur is the dog, not Victoria. She was hyperactive and seemed really frightened, didn't seem to know who they were,

like really tripping balls. Her exact words. Right. Fleur then quickly deteriorated. They rang the vet, said, come in straight away. As soon as they saw her, they said, that looks like she's having a reaction to a human drug. Oh dear. Not bacterial or gast having a reaction to a human drug. Oh, dear.

Not bacterial or gastric. It's a neurological change. They did some tests. Ingested methamphetamine. Bit of pee. Just off the ground, apparently. It was just on the ground. What does it look like?

I don't... It's called crystal meth. Yeah, but only... Crystal. I just know about Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad, but that was blue. Yeah, but then imagine... That was just custom. Not blue. Breaking Bad, but that was blue. Yeah, but then imagine it's not blue. But it's not blue.

So what, somebody just dropped a crystal on the footpath? Does it smell? Is that what would attract a dog? Dunno. They would eat anything. They literally eat their own faces. You losers know nothing about pee. I know.

Really? Real losers. We cross now to our pee correspondent. Jimmy Joe. Itchy Dan. Hey, what's up? What you guys doing? What you trying to do?

Jeez, mate, have you slept? Not for days. But this is sad that it was just Alan and the dog apparently will recover, but just be wary. Well, is this dog going to be like in withdrawal? Oh, yeah. He's had a bit of pain now. I don't know when the physical dependency kicks in. Just give it like a little smackos or something.

Yeah, wow. He's already wacko. He's already going wacko. He doesn't need smackos. What do you give a dog that's not wacko? A nice big triangle tux. Yeah. You know those big old triangle tuxes that the dogs used to eat in the 80s.

What about a good chub of dog roll? A good chub! Good symposium. I don't have a dog, but when I walk past the luncheon chubs or the chubs, I'll always just poke my finger at them. I don't know why. Yeah, I know. You do.

You do want to. And the cheap ones, the cheaper ones. I mean, everything costs a bloody fortune. We're living in a constant crisis. Even the cheap big dog rolls, when you cut open the plastic, a little bit of juice comes out. It's disgusting. A little bit of juice.

Do you buy those? Yep. Do you? Can you video us next time you cut one open? No, I don't want to be in on that. But it's just a whole sensory experience. Like, you know, the feel, there's the smell, there's the seeing it. Just send it to Fletch.

I don't want to be in that chat. All right. So I've got the top six other things your dog might eat if you walk it through central Auckland. So be careful. Yeah, be aware. Be aware. Number six on the list. It might eat a you walk it through central Auckland. So be careful. Yeah, be aware. Be aware. Number six on the list. It might

eat a smaller dog. But also watch that yours doesn't get eaten by a bigger dog. Well, especially if that bigger dog's on meth. A big, meth-y dog. Big meth dogs worse than a small meth dog. It's like the Russian stacking dolls of dogs. Yeah. They just eat the one that's in front of them that's

smaller. Dog bushkas. Yeah. Dog bushka. Until the biggest dog is. Obviously, Clifford, the big red dog. You want to watch out for him. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other things your dog might eat if you walk it through central Auckland. It might eat a $4 million property.

So I'd just be careful. Yeah. Yikes. It could ingest an entire, that's how small these $4 million properties are now. Especially if it's on meth. A dog could eat it. And when a meth kills the

did you know I learnt something about meth recently in a podcast? An aphrodisiac. Turns you on. Yeah, you get really horny when you smoke meth. I thought you'd just get like, uh. Apparently it really gets you humming. Didn't see that in Breaking Bad, did we? I think I'd rather have

oysters, to be honest. Yeah, oysters and champagne. Yeah, with a bit of vinaigrette. Nice day out. Nice day out. But I won't have pud. I'll have some meth. Meth for pud?

Or calorie free, innit? Oh, God. Gets you horny. That's one good thing. Number four on the list of the top six other things your dog might eat if you walk it through central Auckland. Human faces. Yeah, central Auckland, human faces. Yeah, I've seen human faces.

Faces. There's two ways to spell feces. Yeah, when I was writing this list, I said, how do you guys spell feces? Because I like to spell feces. F-E-A-C-E-S? No, no, no, no, no. F-A-E. F-A-E.

That's why you really got to hit the A. The I. Faces. I'll do the A. The I. F-A-E. I would, if I could, you know that A and the E that are one letter? Oh, yes. What does that mean? A. A and the E.

I think it's just said. It's like an old, what is that thing called? A. Yeah, I like that. An A joined together. A as one letter. It's got a name. Yeah, English.

English as in like British, we typically chuck in the A. Right. America typically leaves out and just does a... Yeah. Thesis. Thesis. We like faces. It has been promoted to the status of a letter in some languages.

Danish, Norwegian, Icelandic and whatever they speak in Faro. Faroese? Faroefresh. Yeah. I want to know how to pronounceese? Faroefresh. Yeah. I want to know how to pronounce it. Faroefresh. It's the 28th letter of the Faroeses. I'd like some feces, please.

Hello, do you have feces? Faroefresh. Organic, please. Faroeses. How do I say it? Pronunciation. Oh, yeah. Go back one.

There we go. Pronounce ash. Pronunciation. It sounds like A as in cat and apple. Ah. Eh. Eh. Eh.

Eh. Okay. Dog fasses. Okay. Fasses. Pick up your dog's fasses. I had a goddamn guts full. I'm old as fasses.

Number three on the list of the top six other things your dog might eat if you walk it through central Auckland. God, to be honest, any drug you could possibly imagine. Not just methamphetamine. Oh, what? We're talking pingas. We're talking pingas. Okay.

We're talking. It's a wild guess. We're talking the ganja. We're talking the ganja. Number two on the list of the top six things your dog might eat if you walk it through central Auckland. A homosexual. Oh, really?

Plenty of those around. Huge concentration of homosexuals. Especially at the weekend. Oh, yes. Symphony Pride. Oh, my God. That looked amazing. You missed out, didn't you?

I was sad not to be there. You were sad not to be there. Did you see some outfits, did you? Yeah, I saw some fits. I saw Manny McLean's nips. A bit too cold to be wearing that. Yeah, to be wearing mesh, I would have thought. Inside it would have been warm.

No, I would have gone for merino mesh. Oh, yeah. Merino. With a slightly higher neck. Wicking and walking. Yeah, yeah, beautiful. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things your dog might eat if you walk through central

Auckland, the Sky Tower. Could. Yeah, I mean, it might take a while. Were you eating it from the bottom or were you getting to the top and eating down? I'd start from the top. Yeah, same. Otherwise it would topple over. Structural, to keep it structurally integral until you finish your meal.

A nibble top down. Or you could corn cob it. Go round. Yeah, again, structurally though. Eating it from the bottom would be like biting the bottom out of an ice cream cone. And then you'd constantly fight in the drip. Yeah. It's just no good.

Except the drips aren't like hokey pokey, it's concrete. No, it's faces. It's faces. Faces. That's It's just no good. Except the drips aren't like hokey pokey. It's concrete. No, it's faces. It's faces. Faces. So they stop sex. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Nearly half of brides to be say that the guest list is the most

stressful part of planning a wedding. Now having never been a bride. Yeah. I don't know. But Vaughan I have been a bride. You have planning a wedding. Now, having never been a bride, I don't know. But Vaughan, you have been a bride. You made a guest list for your wedding. And it's stressful, isn't it? Even if I think about it, I'm like, awkward. Fletch and or Vaughan.

It can't be both. You can only pick one. Well, numbers are tight. Yeah, okay, wow. Numbers are tight, man. Because I don't know, you keep getting drunk and inviting us. I know. Well, it won't I don't know, you keep getting drunk and inviting us. I know. Oh, yeah, I don't know. Well, it won't be both of you.

Okay. Let me put that straight. Right. It'll be one of you. Could we cut ourselves in half and send a half each? No, but feel free to put on a trench coat and sit on each other's shoulders. Yeah. But you only get one meal and you've got to split it between you.

Oh, I don't like that. Okay. We could bring some snacks. Yeah, I'd like snacks. And the trench coat. There's going to be so much room. All those pockets. Oh, my God, yeah.. Okay. We could bring some snacks. Yeah, great snacks. And the trench coat. There's going to be so much room. All those pockets. Oh my God, yeah. In fact, we'll be the best fed at the wedding.

Yeah. Judging by wedding catering. And the tallest. Yeah. It's going to look great. Well, there was a bride who wanted to have a small intimate wedding, as you were entitled to do. It's your wedding, your day.

But instead of just inviting a small group and sending them invites, she did that but then she sent everyone else who might have been expecting to come to this wedding a note saying you're not coming to the wedding but we're thinking of you on the day. What? So an invite and not an invite invite? Yeah, you are not invited

but we love you. Isn't that what engagement parties are for? I mean, there's an assumption that if you go to the engagement party, you're going to the wedding. No, I don't think so. A little bit. Really? Yeah.

I think so. Unless it's made clear that you're like, hey, we're just having a small wedding, but we're going to have a big party. Yeah, our engagement party was smaller than our wedding. Oh, really? Yeah. But then none of your parents' friends came to the engagement party was smaller than our wedding oh really yeah but then like none of your parents friends came to the engagement party and stuff but then they came to the wedding your parents friends yeah oh yeah yeah they're not coming they're not invited either guys your

parents friends oh god no no one's coming yeah so she sent these little notes that were like um we under you know we're having this wedding um and while we would have loved for you to be there, you're not invited, but thinking of you on the big day. And then this went on Reddit, and a lot of people were like, do you think they're angling still for like gifts? Presents. Gifts and presents.

Oh, was there a link to a registry? No, no, there wasn't a link to a registry. Okay, so I'd say no then. Who has a registry anyway? Or a link to donate money. Yeah, yeah. A bank account then. Who has a registry anyway? Or a link to donate money. Yeah, yeah. A bank account. That, you're not invited,

but we're having a small wedding, but here's the link to our, what do they call them? Wishing well. No, why would you donate if you were not invited? No, not at all. Also, I don't care to not be invited, but don't send me something

because you'd get in the mail and be like, oh my God. Also, how embarrassing, because you know when your friends do get married, they're like at some stage, they're like, hey, what's your email and what's your physical address? And you'd be like, okay, here it is. I'm getting invited. I'm getting invited.

And then you get this in the mail and it's like, you're not invited. Yeah. It's like, oh, cool. I know. I just think do nothing. And then if people mention it, be like, oh, we're only ever small. It's just like 20 members of friends and family. I feel like it's going to be a conversation at some stage.

Hey, just by the way, we're having a small wedding. So don't be offended. Yeah, but you don't need to send, this was a paper in the mail invite, like a paper card. Do you think that it was with the best of intentions? I do think so. I don't think that she was like,

nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. You're not coming. You're not coming. You're not coming. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now, what was that?

Shut up. You shut up. Shut up. You shut up. You shut up. I'll come over there. You shut up. You make me shut up.

You make me shut up. You two, stop it. I'll come over there. Why don't you come over there? It would be my pleasure. It would be mine honour, sir, to make you shut up. My fist would mine honour sir to make you shut up. My fist would like to make you shut up.

Do you want a knuckle sandwich? I have two knuckle sandwiches and I'll come back for more. You two have been in a bratty mood this morning. Yeah, because someone needs a knuckle sandwich. Well someone's waiting on their order of two knuckle sandwiches. Well it's just in the oven.

So get ready for it. It's toasted. Don't overcook it. I won't. We're having fun. Sounds like we hate each other, but we don't. We're having fun. Now, lately,

the game that has taken and tickled both my fancy and my fanny is Sea of Thieves. It's a pirate game. Producer Jared got me onto it. It's actually fancy, not fanny. Fluttered my fanny

no fancy okay tickled my fancy tickled your fancy has a Sea of Thieves it's a pirate game producer Jared got me onto it

he occasionally will stream on Twitch I'm glad he didn't do Friday night's game because by the end of it not too many people were sober we'll say that much

oh really not that there was anything inappropriate said but it was just... Yeah. And you spoke about doing this, Jared, in that you streamed, you did your Twitch stream, but your microphone wasn't on the whole time. Yeah, I did a seven hours cumulative of Twitch stream. Silent stream.

Just all you would have heard would have been the lapping of the ocean on the wooden hull of a sloop. ASMR. I find it so weird that so many people love watching people game. I know, it's crazy. Just play the game. I can't sell.

I'm at work. Yeah. Yeah, so I stream occasionally just for kicks. Follow me, Jared Ski, on Twitch if you want to. Oh, wow, little plug, little plug. Wow, people did though, didn't they, Jared? People did. They did.

Working in the radio industry full time, got to support the stream addiction somehow. Am I right? This is the start of the bio. Yeah. Ruby the Beagle sometimes wanders in the background. They did. Working in the radio industry full time, got to support the stream addiction somehow. Am I right? This is the start of the bio. Yeah. Ruby the Beagle sometimes wanders in the background. R.I.P. R.I.P.

Ruby the Beagle. Good. I aim to bring joy to the masses, one missed headshot at a time. Thanks for your viewage. And then underneath it says, these are the socials. Instagram,

Jared Ski. Yeah. Snapchat, Jared is baller. Great. Oh my God, Jared. Still holds up. Still holds up. Twitter, at is baller. Oh, my God, Jared. Still holds up, still holds up. Twitter, at Jared Pickstock.

And then underneath it, it says, I'm also on Tinder. Oh! Wink emoji. How old is his bio? This would be probably about seven years old. How long have you been with the midi for? Almost four years. And it's no good.

We lost Ruby in 2020. The little beagle. So this is well out of date, old boy. Somebody in the podcast family pulled you up and they saw this. Courtney tagged me in it and the comments were

flying. Have you shown this to the midi? I have. Okay. She thought it was hilarious and said that Tinder, I mean, Twitch isn't the best place to try and pick up girls. It is actually a bit sad that you put it in there. It is, yeah. I think I put it in as like a tongue-in-cheek,

not specifically to be like, hey. He's got a good sense of humour. But do you reckon, as well, because if people watch you stream, they might be like, that, he's got a good sense of humour. But do you reckon, as well, because if people watch you stream, they might be like, that's a bit of me. That's a tasty little dash.

That's a missed opportunity otherwise. That's a sexy pirate of the high seas. Yeah. Pirates are sexy. Wandering those treasure chests. That's right. Yeah.

Okay. So, have you updated it? I updated it last night. Deleted a lot. Right. A lot. What's it at now?

What are we advertising now? I think it just has my Instagram now and then says, yeah, I work in radio and I play games. Pretty cool. Slightly more honest. Jared's getting on Twitch. Another plug. How many people are watching you sail the pirate boat now? Well, I have like

52-ish followers and my highest concurrent viewers was seven at a time. He's getting proud in there. Silly, silly, silly, that silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole. How many quality friends do you have? So many. How many quality friends do you have? Do you know, I just, completely unrelated, just saw this study that said only half the people you consider friends would consider you a friend on the same level. Oh my god. Oh my god. And it made me laugh.

Because like, how do you know? And who says to their friends, are we friends on the same level? I would say you are a top tier friend. And they're like, oh. You're definitely more like top 20. I got a lot of really close friends and it's just always been that way.

Yeah, you do have a lot. Yeah. Well, so from America, a study has found that the average American adult has between four and five quality friends. Yeah, you're closest that you'd say know everything about you, you see all the time, or you touch base all the time. Yeah. And this study also looked at the fact that it hasn't gotten worse over the years. So studies going right back like, you know, decades.

It's the same level. Because everyone's like, oh, you know, we're hiding online. Yeah. We're not, you know, face-to-facing enough. No, your good friends always stick around. There are, though, it does say 2% of participants reported being friendless. Friendless.

Which is also in line with data from prior decades. Well, 4% of people that responded to ours said zero. Wow. 4%. So what were our options we gave?

Zero, one to three, four to seven or eight plus. Because when we talked about the options, we were like, do we just go zero to four? But no, you want to know... If people think

that they don't have any friends. Yeah, 4% of people don't have quality friends. I think you would find you do, though, surely. Yeah. Unless maybe you move somewhere, because I know people that move cities find it hard as an adult. I sound like a misery guts.

Or so some people get into, like, their marriage and their family, their, like, parenting, and that's it. Friends kind of fade away. Yeah, or people move cities or countries. How many quality friends do you have? Zero friends? That was 4% of respondees.

The most popular answer was 1 to 3. 51% of people had 1 to 3 quality friends. 4 to 7 was the second most popular at 38%, and 7% had 8 or more quality friends. Do you think as you get older, though, you definitely go quality over quantity. Well, 100. Just time alone. Like, I cannot manage more.

And also your friends burn off. Everyone has families and kids and kind of does their own thing. And, you know, you drift apart. You catch up once every now and then. And you're like, that's enough. Sophie said, I voted one to three. I moved to New Zealand nine years ago. Last week, actually.

Happy New Zealand anniversary to me. And finding quality friends as an adult in a new country is bloody hard. But when you do find... Also, Sophie lives in the middle of nowhere. Where does she live? Oh, does she? On a sheep farm. Oh.

In the king country. Okay, yeah, that's the middle of nowhere. Couple of sheep you'd count as good friends, though, wouldn't you? Dogs. I don't want to be sheepish, but they all look the same to me. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I can't believe you said it.

He said it off air. He said that in a whole lot of horrible things off air, but he never said it on air. So I'd make friends with the sheep and then be like, I can't find you. Which one is which? Which one are you? Robert!

Robert! That's sheepism. Is it? I won't say for it. Maybe Sophie's tuned out. Yeah, so I've lost Sophie. Apologies to Sophie. Zoe said, zero.

I don't like people. My husband and work people are enough 98% of the time. Oh, yeah. I mean, to each their own. You're allowed to count your husband as a good friend, I assume. No. Oh, right. That wasn't part of the bargain. Are you one of those people that say, no, no, no, she's not my best assume. No. Oh, right. That wasn't part of the bargain.

Are you one of those people that say, Sian, he's my best friend? No, no, no. She's not my best friend. Oh, God, no. I wouldn't even be friends with her if we were married. Oh, God, no. Are you only saying that because she's not listening?

She might be listening. Okay, right. Good morning. You're not my friend. I'm just in this silly mood. It's going to get me in a whole lot of trouble later and I'm going to have to deal with all these silly things. I'm in a silly mood. You are. And it's going to come back to trouble later and I'm going to have to deal with all these silly things I've said while I'm in this silly mood.

And it's going to come back to bite me and I'm going to be like, that was a different person. I don't know what you're talking about. He was out of his mind. Yeah, he was out of his mind. Listen to that man.

He is clearly unhinged. He's a madman. Quality over quantity, says Ollie. I just literally said that, Ollie. Was Ollie not listening? Was Ollie not listening when he messaged us

in last night? Was Ollie's comment that he said hours before you said what you just said not listening? God, Ollie is How embarrassing Come on, Ollie Pay attention Wake up, Ollie

I just literally said that Ollie's not one of my good friends Dan said four to seven My siblings Oh, what? You cannot That's family though No, I'm sorry

If we're not including partners, we can't include siblings No People that are like my brother and sister, my best friends. Oh, I'm very good friends with my brother. He's not on my list. No. It just goes with that. They're under the family umbrella.

Yeah. They have to love you. My siblings and their partners and my boyfriend. I'm sorry, Dan, under our rules, you've got no friends. You're a classified loner. You've said family and partner. Yep. Well, Enjoy dying alone

Although Surrounded by No one but your friends and family Surrounded by your family You'll be miserable forever Mason said One to three Small tight circle of friends

So I can call on Yeah love it To either help me in Or Help me out Or commit atrocities together Yep There's no middle ground That's all you need You need some people or commit atrocities together. Yep. There's no middle ground.

That's all you need. You need some people to commit atrocities with. Yeah. Who's going to help me bury this body? Hayley says, quality friends

equal 3am friends. Who would you call at 3am if in trouble? I have three. My boyfriend has hundreds of friends, but very few are 3am friends.

Oh, yeah. It's a very sociable lad. Yeah. Mates. I call them mates if they're not 3am friends. Annalise said, no point in keeping any more than one to three. It's excessive. Excessive?

Excessive. Well, that's just excessive. Hannah Marie said, you guys. Oh, no. We don't even know her. You're not on my top tier, Hannah Marie. Don't call me at 3am. Hannah Marie.

We get up at an hour. We can't be getting called at 3am. Call it like 5 when we're at work. Oh yeah, if it's a weekday. You can dial 0800. Dial ZNM, yeah, from 6. Well, you guys are in studio. You'd answer the phones. The phones will ring in. I probably wouldn't, to be honest.

Katie said do sisters count if so I have one oh my god oh but now she's got no friends okay give it to her you're allowed to

if you've only got one you're allowed to we didn't give it to the other guy no sisters don't count yeah but the other guy was rattling off a whole bunch

a whole bunch of folks they were born to love making friends as an adult is hard it is that's why I just kept the ones from earlier I sort of thought I was done's why I just kept the ones from earlier.

I sort of thought I was done. And then I keep finding new ones. Yeah. You've got a whole gaggle of friends now. Was not expecting that. Yeah. Adam said legit zero. Oh, Adam. Adam.

Adam. Do you know there's like, you can go on. Carwin, you did something, didn't you? About finding friends, like Tinder for friends or something like that. Am I outing you that you did this? No. Yeah, Bumble. Yeah, Bumble.

Yeah, right. Bumble friends. That would be a good way to do it. There'll be other people that feel the same. Keep your chin up. I feel like if you met them on Bumble, though, they'd try to kiss you. Yeah, like. Like, eventually, yeah.

Or a little bit. Do you guys not kiss your good friends? I assume this is what it meant. Kissing friends. Hayley and I will kiss, but not you. Yeah, we make out it's the bed oh okay that's fair enough that's why when we get in the studio

in the morning we go like we have a big cuddle big cuddle kiss on the mouth how was your weekend you looking good that kind of stuff

cool you miss out on all that it's because you come late we're done the kisses are out they're not available could we please in this sentence

you should have said I arrive late. Okay. You arrive late. Yeah. Yeah. Because everybody knows it. Anyway, that's another problem for that guy to deal with later on today.

That silly little poem. Thank you for opening up too, New Zealand. That was vulnerable. It is very vulnerable. 16 past seven. Next on the show. Own clothes day. Found a loophole tonight.

It's not called. It's not. We're moving away from calling it mufti. C on the show. Own Clothes Day. Ah, found a loophole didn't I? It's not called. It's not. We're moving away from calling it Mufti. Cancelled again. Got him. If you pronounced it differently you'd be cancelled. But you were right I think, reading what I was reading. Oh really? Pronounced different. This is something that you're dealing with. Because your girls are looking at schools.

Yeah, the next stage for schools. And it's kind of like, we had an interesting conversation. We'll talk about it next on the show. Did you go to school with a uniform or you had a uniform A? Yep, New Plymouth Boys High. Uniform.

What was your uniform? Just a standard grey short. Grey, grey, grey. Grey top. Yep. A lot of grey. Yep. And then like a black jumper.

Black jumper. In winter. Okay, nice. And then like a black jumper. Black jumper. In winter. Okay. In winter, yeah. Nice. And socks up and you weren't allowed to wear pants until you were like the last two years. Or seniors. You weren't allowed to wear long pants.

Narbow. In winter. Narbow. Narbow. With a cold westerly blower. Yeah. A cold southerly blower. Southerlies are the cold ones.

Well, yeah, I know that comes up. The westerly wind is more prominent. It's more prominent. More prevalent, yes. Thank you very much. I know my winds. I know that it comes up. The westerly wind is more prominent. It's more prevalent. More prevalent, yes. Thank you very much. I know my winds. I know my winds. I know that the West Coast predominantly receives

a westerly wind, especially there. And then you blow that out. I know my winds. I've got Windy the app. Sometimes I'm just interested in where the wind is blowing. Windy is a good app. It's a great app. Windy the app.

It's a good app. It's a great app. And you had Princess Anne's. Barbara Lee. Barbara Lee. What? Barbara Lee was Barbara Lee. What? Barbara Lee was the designer of ours. She was the Air New Zealand designer before Tralee's.

Tralee's. Oh, those sounds hideous. We had like tunics, long skirts. You had a designer. Yeah. Blazer, cardigan. The standard uniform with just whatever the embroidered thing was. No, Barbara Lee, darling.

Oh, darling. I remember it was $1,000. That's in my head. This is the thing. Private schools have these excessively expensive uniforms too. My papa bought it for me. And I remember you'd go to this one shop in Wellington and try on all your stuff,

and they give you the bill of everything that you're going to need. And then you had to change it when you got to seniors as well. It's like Hogwarts. Yeah. You go to Diagon Alley and get fitted for your wand and your robes. That's why everyone would buy the blazers so big. You'll grow into it. And I only just fit mine now.

My blazer, it was so big the whole time I was there. Oh, my God. Well, you must have been swimming in it as like a 12-year-old. Why? Because I'm so big now. Wow. Vaughn. Oh, yeah.

Wow. You're a monster. Wow. Have you caught your reflection in a window lately? You've said enough. You elephant. You've said enough. No.

You're just jealous of my superior education. That's what is happening here. That's what's happening here. Well that's kind of our conversation. What was your house? Warrensville. Like you could just now. A hemp sack With a hook up your head

Just warehouse fleece pants With a robe And Ugg boots Yeah and a robe out And a high-fives polo Morrinsville college uniform They should have been high-fives That would have been sick

High-fives polo Great warehouse track pants. When will a school be brave enough to enforce a high-vis polo uniform? Who will be brave enough, New Zealand? You see some like primary school, like when the kids go out on trips, they wear fluoro tops or like they... They wear the road workers singlet. The vest thing.

The vest. Of course, you don't lose them. Yeah, so the teachers don't lose them. So you can see them. Whereas in my day, the teachers would lose like three every time you went somewhere. It was actually a challenge to get back to school, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Yeah, often you'd just disappear and you'd be out there in the wilderness.

Six months I was missing from third form. Which shows that chunk of education you lost. Yeah, I'm a big old dickhead dum-dum. So next year, your oldest girl, yeah Indy is off to college. I'm so excited for Warren's kids to get this age because it's just going to be so entertaining to watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off-air I'll tell you one of

the first things I did when I was 13 at high school. Off-air. Yeah, but you wouldn't get away with it now because you're so gross to look at. You too. Because you are such, like you're a bush pig. You too.

And I'm still waiting on those knuckle sandwiches. That's still toasting in the oven. It was a great example Of how different Your kids can be Because Indy was like I prefer a uniform You know what you're gonna wear

You wake up It's decided for you Oh it's so good Oh I know I was like You're totally right At the time you were like I wish our school was casual

Yeah I wish I could Be an individual Yeah I never I never I never I never Wear this uniform

All the way through school But what was it like For people that went to a school where you just packed your own, wore your own clothes? Actually, our final year was whatever you wanted to wear. Couldn't have swear words on it. There was still a few rules.

But it was horrible. I feel as for the parents as well, like the washing and like trying to organise it all, having all these clothes. Yeah. Whereas like we just had two or three shirts and then you just wore the same skirt and blazer and cardigan the whole week. Yeah. Wash it at the having all these clothes. Yeah. Whereas, like, we just had two or three shirts and then you just wore the same skirt and blazer and cardigan the whole week. Yeah.

Wash it at the end of the week. Whereas, you know, when you were that age, you only really had, like, three T-shirts. Yeah. The same clothes. But you'd just get teased. Certainly not my case now where I've got three T-shirts in a constant rotation. I would have turned up in my One Planet Eight T-shirt.

Yes! And got teased. You would have got, like my One Planet Eight t-shirt. Yes! And got teased. You would have got like a billabong t-shirt for your birthday but then that would have got ripped. Because you would have

worn it again and again and again and again. And you're like, we're going to play touch at lunchtime and touch always evolved into like tackle and kissing.

Not my saucy tea. And then you'd end up with a ripped mambo. And you'd be like, oh no, the farting dog. The Mambo. Yeah, I'm going to have to get my hot tuna t-shirt.

Oh, God. And pop it on over top. Yeah. We talked about it in August. I was like, I'd love to go to a school with no uniform. Yeah, I get it. Because I remember I was the same when I first started. And I was like, I wanted to be goth and I wanted to express it

and you had to try to do it within the rules of the uniform. But I imagine now looking back, God, that would have been stressful. Any other bullying? It's too much. Oh yeah, because that's the other thing, right? It becomes a bit.

Yeah. And then when you had what we called Mufti Day, but casual clothes day, you would put all this effort in. You'd really think about it and be like, that's the outfit.

I'm going to curate that. Really like show off this thing and that thing. It was real fun. I hated it. I hated it all because the first casual clothes day in third form, everybody had Barker's track pants and I had a $10 pair of track pants with a tight cuffed ankle. The Barkers had a cuff there, but it was loose.

The Barkers was expensive. Dude, so expensive. Yeah, only the rich kids had those. Yeah, I had just a plain pair of track pants with a real tight, long cup on the bottom. They rode up a little bit. I got mocked, and I was just like, I hate this. Rode up the crotch, showed off your little...

Yeah, or lack thereof. Yeah, exactly. But it's made you the man you are today. Yeah, it is. A raving lunatic. Yeah, perfect. And able to withstand bullying. Yeah. it is. A raving lunatic. Yeah, perfect. And able to withstand bullying. Yeah. From Hayley.

Which is actually insane considering what a loser you are. A big, ugly loser. So it's madness. Were you crying? No. I just feel sick. I've got to go to the sickbay. Does this place have a sickbay? I'm going to need my mum to come

and pick me up. Does this workplace have a sickbay? I'm going to need my mum to come and pick me up. Does this workplace have a sickbay? Imagine if you just had a sick day at work and you were like, Ma'am. Ma'am, I don't want to be here anymore. Come get me. Ma'am, she picks you up the same way she did at school. I don't even think you're that sick.

Oh. Gah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Ailey. Play ZM. The 2024 Quatrainier. The Olympics is happening and our very own personal as funded by us we bought his flight correspondent James McConey is on the phone with us

how are you enjoying Paris? Hey, look, I'm really enjoying Paris. C'est magnifique. I've even learned a bit of French for you. Whereabouts are you at the moment, at the Games? What have you been doing over the weekend? I'm down at the canal that you may have seen in the movie Amelie, one of the greatest films of all time.

Agreed. But today I was at the golf watching golfers. It's a ball. Like I told you. Come on, Philippe. Your play is not actually French for yoga. But anyway. Do you know the social media at these Olympic Games has been incredible?

I know. I guess because, I mean, when you go back four years, I mean, we had social media four years before that, but, like, it just hasn't been this insane ever, has it? Yeah, it's gone to another level. I've had my best social media video with the Blackburns taken off Facebook because apparently there was some, I don't know, drama. It needs to be T.O. blocked or something.

But I was really loving that emotion. Their gold medal was awesome and pretty much the only Kiwi gold medal I've seen. But I've been banished to the Gulf. I don't know what I did wrong. But I did talk to Scotty Schaeffler today. He's an American. He's a rookie out of Wisconsin. Oh, right.

He's not. He's from Texas. He's from Texas, all right. And he won gold by hitting, get this, six birdies on the back nine. Wow. I don't know what that means, but it sounds impressive. One under par and nine holes. He got under par on six of them.

That's great. Wow, okay. Great percentage there. Six birdies on the back nine, baby. That's not bad. How's Lydia going? Lids to the co plays in two days time or maybe one and a half

days. I've lost my time zones, but she's feeling good. She's married now to the heir to the high end, I think. Oh, yeah. Power marriage. Just sit back, do you know what I mean? I mean, I know it's her passion, but I'd be putting my feet up.

Yeah, I'd take a season off. If I was Lids. Oh, look, I'd take a, I mean, it doesn't need to be Hyundai. I'd take a Daiwu or even a Daihatsu at this point. Oh, a Daihatsu, no, you're still going to work. Would you marry the heir to the Mahindra fortune? Embarrassing, those tricks are embarrassing. Mahindra, yeah, I'd take the Mahindra.

You'd take Mahindra. You've got an heir first, exclusive scoop. James McConey would take Mahindra. You've got it here first. Exclusive scoop. James McConey would take Mahindra. James, I know that you're there, you know, it's all about the sports, but have you, per chance, managed to get your hands on one of these famous chocolate muffins from the Olympic Village? Oh, no, I haven't. But I've been fondling everyone's medals

because they're designed by Louis Vuitton. Are they? And I've got a bit of the Eiffel Tower just like jammed in there. Wow. Just slammed it in the middle. Did they take a...

And I don't know how it's standing up now, but the Eiffel Tower is still standing. Did they take a bit from a structural part or just a bit that doesn't matter?

I don't know. Yeah, they must have just like chipped away at some end that they just didn't care about and suddenly they're on the middle. about. Maybe they replaced some bolts. Yeah. Used their old bolts.

Maybe. Yes, maybe. That's exactly maybe what they've done. Maybe, maybe. Maybe, maybe. Are you behaving at some of these events? Because I've seen so many videos of, like I saw Hayley and I were looking at a video this morning,

a swimmer walked past a woman who was sitting at a table, like an official, and she totally checked out his arse and now she's gone viral. So you can't be perving at anyone. You shouldn't be checking out arses at the Olympics. That's disgraceful behaviour. I must say in terms of asking for

interviews, I've been rejected so many times. It feels like one of those, you know, the first year toga party and stuff, you know, at university. Or maybe even like a bad sort of form two social or something like that. Oh, no. I'd dance with you, James. Oh, thank you, Hayley. Oh, mate.

It means a lot. It means a lot. Yeah, don't become viral. We don't want to be, you know, associated with that. I mean, are we checking out the volleyball? That's all I'm saying. They're wearing pants! If you see me, Chase, if someone tackles the beach volleyball,

I'll say, please give me an interview. Anything. It'll take anything at this stage. What are our next medal chances coming up? Wow, shit, that's a sports question, isn't it? And I will answer it because I will say that Lisa Carrington and all Dame Lisa Carrington and all the kayakers, they are looking pretty strong.

I think Hamish Kerr in the high jump is pretty good. He's ranked third in the world. There's some serious human giraffes in that event, and he's just been plugging away like a real Kiwi battler. And then I think Elise Andrews in the cycling as well on the track. She's a weapon and her sprint team includes Rebecca Pitch and this is where I get to say shout out to Te Ao Mutu, my hometown. Kia ora.

Dargaville and Morrinsville, you ain't got nothing on today. Don't quietly associate me with Dargaville. Loudly associated with Dargaville Loudly associated with Dargaville Were you in the stadium for the bulge in the pole vault that dislodged the bar? The French bulge Oh yeah, the junk, the junk, they just flipped it Do you know what, he's got to be happy with the performance and the viral He's got to be happy with the virals

If you're going to be happy with the virals. If you're going to be known for something, you know, and it's not winning gold. If you're not going to win a medal, you've got to come away with the biggest junk. And to be honest, maybe that should be something that they give the Pierre de Coubertin medal for best and fairest, because maybe it just needs to be plump and juiciest

in the right area. Plump is the word, isn't it? Plump is the word. Really sums it up. Fantastic. James McHoney, thank you very much. Now, live from Paris at the Olympics. Look forward to talking again.

Oh, yes. I can't wait. Au revoir and up the wa. Au revoir, up the wa. It's 19 minutes away from 8. Next on the show, we want to talk about what you always BYO. What you bring with you that is your own. Filling your purse with, it's a magic, magic.

It's a magic sack full of good things. It's a magic sack full of. There is a woman who BYOs something that I'm like, oh my God, that's genius. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. There is a bit of a cheeky babe who always BYO lime juice when she goes to a bar because she thinks that when you get a drink, it doesn't have enough lime in it. And I'll be honest, it doesn't. Well, especially in like New Zealand where limes are $400 million a kg. Oh my God, I solved the bucket of lime mystery.

You may remember last week i picked my tree full of from limes and i put them in a bucket and then you thought someone walked onto your property and stole that in the middle of the night yeah no it was our friend aaron gave him the bucket and was like have some limes oh yeah i picked those actually but so if you don't have a lime tree and you're buying it from the supermarket and you want actual good lime, it's expensive. So expensive. So she has these little pouches she puts in her handbag. God's gift to women.

Fake lime or real? Well, I don't know. You can get sachets of real lime juice. Yeah, I like those goopy pouches full of lime. I think they've got a little bit of preservative in them, but other than that, it's lime. She's just got little mini ones. And she brings little lime packets in her purse

every time she goes out for a night, and she'll get like a vodka soda or a gin tonic or whatever, and then she just, BYO lime. Because there's never enough lime. Yeah. I've seen a lot of people doing this with like little mini srirachas. You can get those tiny ones. Yes.

Good in a handbag. I've seen those. I feel like if you were a chick and you had a handbag. I'd have hot sauce in there. I'd have hot sauce in there. You'd have hot sauce in there. I used to take hot sauce occasionally. I had a little hot sauce, like a hit flask for hot sauce. It looked like a hit flask and you'd pour hot sauce in it.

Yeah, genius. And you'd take it. But I think most places have hot sauce now. Yeah, they do. Like, this is what I wanted to know. Like, what is the thing that you always BYO wherever you go? And it could be a food thing, but also, when I was down in Wellington

a couple of weekends ago, a friend of mine BYOs pillow and towel. What, when they stay in like a hotel? If I've got the room in my bag, I'll take a pillow. Yeah, I never do. I holidayed once with a pillow. I know, and you regretted it though, right? It was memory foam, so it's heavy.

So it's like, what, 4kg? Would it be 4? 3 It was memory foam, so it's heavy. Yeah. So it's like, what, 4K, would it be 4, 3 or 4KGs? Yeah, pretty heavy. Yeah,

it's pretty heavy, so it kind of eats into your allowance if you're going away, but oh my God, you had the best sleeps. I know. I get it. Because it's my fave pillow.

I get why. Yeah. But yes, she BYO'd pillow and pillowcase and towel. Where? I wouldn't do a towel.

I mean, some hotel towels have been washed like four million times, and you could probably put your finger through it. Oh, yeah, it's cardboard. It's crispy. It's like a crusket at that point. A crusket towel. But what is the thing that you always bear away? Someone says chili salt is a good idea.

Crank a bit of chili salt on top of food. Okay. But then that's all like, yeah. Yeah, true. Things are already salty enough for me. I'm not a big salt. I don't add salt all of the time. This is what we want to ask this morning.

0800 DARS at M. Call us now. Text through 9696. What do you always BYO wherever you go? Give us a call. So we want to know what you BYO places, whether it's travel or maybe you just have it in your handbag. A lot of people just want their little comforts in life, don't they?

Yeah, even when they're eating out at a restaurant. Exactly. Ria, this is your auntie. What does she BYO places? Hey, guys. So she BYOs her own mixer. So she will make a mixer of, like, lemon, grapefruit, and oranges. Yeah.

And whenever she goes out, she'll take it to put in her vodka. And between you, me, and everyone else listening, I wouldn't be surprised if she takes her own vodka, too. What a weird, so she'd be like, oh, can I have a vodka? No, she'll be like, can I have a soda water? Yeah. Yeah, she'll get a shot of vodka. No, she'd be like, can I have a soda water? Yeah. She'd get a shot of vodka. No, and they are strong.

She's made me a couple. She does not miss out. Right. How do restaurants and stuff take to somebody bringing orange juice? Effectively. She's the type of lady you probably wouldn't miss with anyway. Right. So I don't think she gets any debate.

Yeah. Right. So I don't think she gets any debate. Yeah. Karen. If it's also in London, right, I'm sure they get a bit worse. Yeah. Amazing. Ria, thank you. We're in a cosy little crowd. Yeah.

Debs, what are your BYO places? Debs. I take my own butter and garlic to Stone Grills to cook my steak. Wait. Do they not provide butter and garlic? No. I went to one one day and they were like, oh, no, sorry, we don't have any garlic. And I was like, okay, I'll just bring it next time.

And I also take my own hot chilli sauce because there's never enough spice in the restaurant. Oh, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, so you sound like this is what Vaughan would do if he had a handbag. Yeah, so you sound like this is what Vaughan would do if he had a handbag. Yeah. 100%. So what kind of container, Debs, are you carrying this butter around in? I just take like a little sistema and I just put the, I mix the butter and garlic up at home.

And then when I'm cooking my stone grill, I just put it on top and it's perfect. Wow. Is there ever enough butter and garlic on a garlic bread for you? Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never for you? Never. Never. Never. Never forget it, Mama Fiorelli. I always add butter.

I need to get myself a Mama Fiorelli's. Always adding. Deb, thank you. Some messages in. I take proper hot chilli flakes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Proper chilli flakes.

Going to blow you apart. Yeah, yeah. A stainless steel straw is another one. My Nana brings her own bourbon glass every time there's an event. Even when we go for weekends away, Nana brings her bourbon glass. Shit, yeah, Nana. I want to see a picture of this bourbon glass. It sounds like it has a good weight to it.

Yeah. I'm thinking thick base. Yeah. Thick bottom. Yeah. With some designs on the side. Yeah, maybe. Maybe a little bit of flash, sort of a whiskey glass vibe.

Yeah, love that. I'd love to see a picture or an apt description of Nana's bourbon glass. Yeah. My sister, Elise McLeod, so full name and shame there. Yeah, love that. I'd love to see a picture or an apt description of Nana's bourbon glass. Yep. Yep. My sister, Elise McLeod, so full name and shame there. All right, Elise McLeod.

Takes a thing of chicken salt with her everywhere. Can confirm she does not share when your gal wants some chicken salt on her chips. Oh, you've got to share. If you've got chicken salt. This is extra shake.

Yeah, you give me a shake. Share the chicken salt. Let's check those sodium levels though, please. Yeah, it feels a lot, doesn't it? Feels a lot. Yeah, but you know, I've got to dye please. Yeah, it feels a lot, doesn't it? It feels a lot. Yeah, but you know, I've got to do something.

Yeah, that's true. Might as well be chicken salt. Might as well be chicken salt. Delicious chicken salt. I mean, people are out there doing meth and stuff, aren't they? Yeah, and she's just doing some chicken salt. I'd rather chicken salt than meth. You're right.

I'm not sprinkling meth on my chips. Everything in perspective, you know? That's right. Of course, she puts too much chicken salt. Hey, at least it's not meth. We're talking about what you take with you. A woman takes lime juice with her. Real lime juice.

Doesn't like the lime juice they give you. Often cordial. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I hate when they do that. Yeah. At her own. When you want the zing, but you don't want the sugar.

Yeah. I always ask for extra ketchup whenever I go through McDonald's drive-thru. Show sponsor. Show sponsor. Yeah, show sponsor. Have about 20 sachets of Macca's Heinz ketchup in my glove box. Oh, yeah. So super handy.

Yeah. For the occasional mince pie. Oh, yeah. Or if you get fish and chips and you don't want to buy one of those rip and dips. Yes. They're always expensive. Fish and chip shops know they've got you if you need to buy sauce from them. Yeah, good hack.

Really good hack, actually. Yeah, I always carry two punnets. Could you do a... Shut up, shut up. Could you do a sweet and sour sauce? Well, that's what someone just said. Well, you've got to pay, though, for the sweet and sour sauce.

Yeah, that's all right, that's all right. I've always got two punnets of Macca's sweet and sour sauce in my backpack in case of emergencies. Yes! I saw a fully sealed sweet and sour sauce on the pavement the other day, and I was like, for a second,

I was like, that's probably all good. Might have been glued down. Did you check? I didn't, no, I didn't check I was like, that's probably all good. Might have been glued down. Did you check? Might have been a prank. No, I didn't check. Yeah, because that's the next thing. I was like, it's a TikTok prank. It's a TikTok prank.

They've laced it with like LSD or something. You're dipping your nuggies in and you're like, fuck around. So those guys are in that TikTok prank in America and a guy pulled a gun on them? Yes. Don't do a TikTok prank. Not in America.

Not in America. No. We live in the country, so if we head out for the day or to the city for the weekend, we take a few water bottles because city water tastes like ass. Oh, yeah, Fletcher's does. Thick. My water is fine.

Thick water. My daughter, who's six, takes her own olives and onions to school to add to the school lunches because apparently their salad options are too plain. What is she, like Italian or something? Yeah, you are raising a woman of fine taste. That is a nightmare for you. Yeah. Kia ora.

My China teacup is something I take with me on holiday. Oh, okay. Also, FYI, a huge thank you to Hayley for the bra recommendations. I bought two of the Bend On Comfort bras and they're very comfy. Wearing right now. XXX. You should be a Bend On influencer. I should be.

Yeah. You have a discount code? No, I don't have a code. You should. You could put in Hay on influencer. I should be. Yeah. You have a discount code? No I don't have a code. You should. You can put in Hayley20. See what happens.

See what happens. Dongers20. Yeah yeah Big Congers. Big Congers20 at checkout. My partner is a salt snob and

takes his own mini molten salt tub with him everywhere. Oh. That's like kosher salt hey. It's that real thin

flaky. It melts. Restaurants, friends, houses. I was too embarrassed. I was embarrassed about it at first but thank God I think I'm turning into a salt that real thin. Flaky. It melts. Restaurants, friends' houses. I was too embarrassed. I was embarrassed about it at first, but thank God I think I'm turning

into a salt snob too. Oh, okay. Herbal tea. Yeah. Otherwise that's a very expensive cup of hot water. Yeah. A cup of hot water and then dunk their own tea bag in. Yeah. Nana's bourbon glass. We've had a text about it. It's a heavy bottomed. Yeah.

It's like a crystal one, so very decorative and about the size of a beer glass. Nana likes her burbs. Yeah, man. That's a lot of burbs, Nana. Do you reckon Nana goes for like a Coke Zero or a Diet Coke? Or she's full Coke, eh? She's 100% full Coke.

I would never be convinced Nana's mixing. Oh, you reckon it's straight? No, I reckon she's just burbs. Slopping her burbs into a nice crystal glass. Yeah. That's Jim Beam, though, isn reckon it's straight. No, I reckon she's just burbs. Slopping her burbs into a nice crystal glass. Yeah. That's Jim Beam though, isn't it? You'll miss those. Actually, can we get a confirmation on what is Nana's favourite bourbon?

What's the burbs? You're going to be embarrassed if it's Maker's Mark. So I spent the weekend down in Wellington, by the way, I was having one of its days. Sandy! I saw your photos, another mate of mine had a photo up It looked bloody Wellington didn't it It was stunning

And I was staying with my best I only made it better They gave me A hero's parade When I arrived When you left They were like thank god We were supposed to be having a day that can't be beaten on

and you're dragging it down with that face. We're just being really mean to each other today. If you've just tuned in. Yeah. We're just really testing how mean we can be to each other. I can't wait to get to that point where you're like bullying someone like just for fun and then they're like. And it turns.

And it turns. And they're not laughing anymore and you're like, oh, no. Yeah. I hung in there a little too long. That's all good. Are we having a long song so next thing you go to the toilet? No, it's fine. It's all just like fun and laughter.

So I was... No, I was down at work. That's an acting degree. That was really good. That's $47,000. That's worth it. $38,000. $38,000.

Yeah. Anyway. That's landing her lots of roles. Yeah. That was really good. That's $47,000. That's worth it. $38,000. That's landing her lots of rolls. Yeah! That's really good. That acting. Oh, that was good. That was pretty good. Well, those audition rooms, they can't get a good deal. That was the one that had been close to the bone. That was the one that was... Well, not everyone's dreams come true.

Not everyone gets to do what they want. Not everything works out. That's right. At least it's not me today. Anyway. Is it my turn tomorrow? Probably. Yeah, probably.

You stupid idiot. Grassroots football. Yeah, I was there. So this is what I want to talk about. It's on the Saturday. I went and watched my bestie's 10-year-old son play soccer. And it was a full, like, early morning wake up, wrap up in the woolies. Cold, yeah. Cold.

Get your shoes. You don't mind getting muddy. Drive out foggy, like real crisp. Get out there. Struggle to find a car park. Struggle to find a car park. Walking up, coffee cart. Get a coffee from the coffee cart.

Milky. Milky, okay. No thanks. But, you know, I just wanted something to warm the hands, so that got that. And I started watching the soccer game. And I just realised when I was there, I was like, oh, my gosh. First I was like, I wonder if people think we're lesbians.

You know? I wonder if people are we're lesbians. You know? I wonder if people are looking at us thinking, which one's yours? This lovely lesbian couple here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder which one had the baby. Yeah, yeah. Looking at our tummies. The first thing, when you see a gay couple with kids, you're like, who carried the baby?

Or if it's two dudes, you're like, who's sperm? Yeah. Who did it? Isn't that terrible? Yeah, I thought maybe people thought we were lesbians. And because we're all rugged up in our, you know, winter willies. Famously, lesbians love being rugged up. Oh, my God.

They love it. They love nothing more. If I know lesbians, they're always cold. Right. You know? Yeah. Anyway, so I got there and I was like, oh, my God, I'm a soccer mom. Like, I never thought I'd be here on a Saturday morning, hangover free.

Yep. Watching children play soccer. And then I started, like something kind of happened. And this has never happened to me before where I was watching and I was sort of starting to understand. And I was like, okay, so who's that? And what's this? And where's Theo? And da, da, da, da.

Then I started yelling. I started yelling at things. What did you yell? Go. Oh, yeah. Go for Tony. Get in there. Oh, yeah. Come on. Encouraging stuff. That's good. then I started yelling. I started yelling at things. What did you yell? Go! Oh, yeah. Go for Tony. Get in there. Oh, yeah.

Come on. Encouraging stuff. That's good. And then I just started echoing what other people were doing. Because they're quite young, apparently in the second game, they tend to sort of fade away. They get a bit tired. So one thing they keep yelling is, the game's still going.

The game's still going, guys. Come on, get in there. You're reminding them. You have kids like, walk off when they're losing. Pack a sad, yeah, pack a sad and leave. There were no sads on, get in there. Keep reminding them. You have kids like, will not walk off when they're losing. Pack a sad, yeah. Pack a sad and leave. There were no sads packed. No, there were good sportsmanship.

Really good sportsmanship. That's good. My son, I carried the baby. Yeah. My son scored a goal and he got player of the day. Oh. Did he?

Do you think they gave him player of the day because he had a special guest? Because I've kind of cottoned on to the fact with all my kids' sports, if they bring a special guest, you are've kind of cottoned on to the fact with all my kids' sports, if they bring a special guest, you are more likely to get player of the day. Do you think? I mean, he got a goal and he played well.

No, I mean, let's be completely frank and honest here. Player of the day is a rort. It's shared around the kids. Even the team's most useless participant at some stage or another will get player of the day. How do you say this about my small son no Vaughan's right

because in my day I never got player of the day you never got player of the day but if I was a kid now if you were playing now you'd get player of the day I'd get player of the day every 11 weeks

if they got to the end of the season and they only had one kid that was going to get three it's the kid that they want to encourage to keep playing. Well he, you still win, this is like all these years later

when I used to do hockey I think in the cold mornings still win a little Anonis. You still go to Anonis and show your player of the day and I think you can get like a little cheeseburger or something. I was like how good's this? Didn't share it with me but that's fine. Are you getting clucky now?

After you carried him, after you raised him. After I raised this child, after everything we went through in order for us to have this child. Yeah. And he didn't even show me a cheeseburger. No, not clucky at all. Because at the end, I just got to leave. You know what I mean?

And then I didn't have to wash the boots and wash the car that had all the mud in it. Like auntie, auntie duties. Auntie duties, for sure. But it was such anie, auntie duties. Auntie duties for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was such an interesting, like I was like, this is something I have never done.

And you know when you do something new and I was like, wow, what a wild weekend. I'm out in Trentham screaming at a field of young children. Get in there, the game's still going.

Come on Theo. And it was great. It was a really cool environment. I enjoyed it a lot. I got asked what's wrong at netball the weekend. Why? Because really cool environment. I enjoyed it a lot. I got asked what's wrong at netball the weekend. Why? Because of my face.

Yeah, but that's just your face. What's wrong? Are you okay? I was like, yeah. They're like, oh. I was like, oh, no, this is just my face. Yeah, right. Bitchy resting face.

That's just my face. Yeah. This is what I've got. This is what I'm dealing with. No, all the parents were well behaved. There was one mum from the other team that was sort of hollering, hooping and hollering a little bit. Like negative stuff?

No, no, no, no. Just really wanting her son to beat them to the ground. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, make them eat it. You know, and I was like, make them eat it. Let's pull back. They're 10.

Okay, next. You've had an idea for a new feature on the show. Yep. We've had an introduction made. Yep. And it's a chance. Is it a chance for people to win? Yep.

Okay. Money? No. Okay. Something better than money. Love and affection. Wishes. Love and affection.

Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now behind the scenes we will We're going to peel back the curtain Let's peel back the curtain Peel back No peel it

It's stuck to the wall A tiny peel back of the curtain We will in the afternoon before the show we'll all email ideas and news stories and things that we want to talk about, things that maybe happened over the weekend. Yeah.

And I would say like on a scale of effort, I'd say Fletch and Jared, I reckon they hang around the top with the most links. Then us girlies, we sort of fall in there somewhere. Sometimes I give a lot, sometimes I give a little. And then Vaughn. So far behind. Yeah. I think the other day you sent three things.

Yeah. Well, that's enough. And he had to be reminded to send it because he hadn't actually promised. It was So far behind. Yeah, I think the other day you sent three things. Yeah, well, that's enough. And he had to be reminded to send it because he hadn't actually promised. It was in my draft. And then when it arrived, I was like, we could have just skipped that conversation. Yeah. So I think Vaughn may have subtly picked up on the fact that, you know, we do a lot. Work smarter, not harder. Yeah, right.

And so you really put in some effort yesterday. You guys all do it before me so you get all the good news stories. So you refer back to our emails and be like, she's got there. I like that. I like what they did there. Sometimes I'll literally write that in there. I liked that Ling Haley put in. And then you just find the three things on the whole internet that we didn't find.

That you haven't discussed. Right. Well, so you've taken to kind of filibustering, kind of filling up, padding out your email of ideas with just kind of random crap. We'll call it junk that will never make it on air. Yep. Like, for example,

some of these are great ideas. Yep. I've put Indy's dump bike back together, but it needs new cables. Great idea. Good, you know, relatable chat. I just don't know. Not sure like where else. Like you've said the story now there's

nothing else to add. Jared and I woke up at 7am on Sunday to play the pirate game. I put that in there. To me these are not on-air primetime content. They're maybe podcast extras. Aaron crushed Sade's keto dream and I laughed and then Sade was shitty at me for laughing. That would be a great podcast.

I've been telling her that the way she thinks keto works is not how keto works. And then Aaron told her how keto works and I was like, ha ha ha ha ha. It's like I said, I was right, you were wrong. That sort of thing. There's something in that. But the one idea you did have, Hayley and I thought, well let's

do this. Force his hand. Let's do this. And you helped Jared do an intro this morning. Yep. Again, before Vaughn got to work, later than everybody else. Yeah. I'm going, you're not painting me in the best light here. I have made no secret of the fact that this is a hobby.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The real work begins when nine o'clock strikes. And I'm like, I got to get out of here. And sail a pirate ship on a video game. It's all sorts of things.

All matter of things. This is a brand new idea for a feature that Vaughn had. I got no power. I got no power. Yeah. What do you have right now that needs a new battery? We'll buy you the battery. Okay.

It's a great idea. Right. It's a great idea. How many people right now are out there living with something that's got no or like very low battery? What made me think of this is our car fob finally ran out of batteries. Oh my God, no. Do you know how much those are to replace? Did I just crack it open and pop the new battery in?

Yeah, it's like 20 bucks. But Sharder's like, oh, we won't have one of these batteries. And I was like, are you kidding me? I'm the battery boy. I've got big packs of AAAs and AA's. AAAs don't know where they are. I've got CR2032s. I've got CR2035s.

Are they the flaps? Yeah. I've got a couple of those. You know, I'm on my nutritional thing. I've got my kitchen scales back out. And I had to get one. And I didn't pull it out to see which one it was. And I went there.

I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do you know what I saw? The thickness and the diameter, those are what the two numbers mean. Do you know what you need? I saw this the other day. It was some influencer doing a Kmart thing in Australia. And it's a spoon with scales on it.

Got one from Timo. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You scoop your protein and it just like weighs it then and it. You've got one from Timo. That's cool. You scoop your protein and it just like weighs it then and there. You're just like, oh, 20 grams of ice cream.

And then you're like, mmm, 22 more grams of ice cream. So that's 40. But that would need a battery too at some stage.

That would need a battery. Oh, what about a car battery? What are you doing? Oh, I just got a new one. How much are those? Well, that's why we're going to get three people on. They're going to tell us. Call us now.

Oh, $800. Yeah. You tell us what battery you need. We decide which is the most crucial. Right. So who's the most worthy of this battery? Who's the most worthy of a new battery? Okay.

Well, let's take some calls now. Rihanna's called up. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Now, what do you need a battery for? I need my two batteries that come in a one pack, which is stupid. Yeah.

They are the CR2 batteries for a film camera. My beloved film camera. Oh, the CR2s and a weird little... Oh, yeah. It's like a little chody battery. Chody little battery. Very ch yeah, it's like a little chody battery. Chody little battery. Very chody. Chody little battery.

It'd be like an... Oh, Vaughan, look, $5.99 at the warehouse. That would be good for the show budget. That's great for the show budget. What are your other options there? What brand is the one at the warehouse? It's a Panasonic Lithium. They do make good batteries, Panasonic.

I'll give them that. The Energizer, we're talking $17 for just one. I'm sure Panasonic will sleep well tonight knowing that Vaughan Smith They do make good batteries, Panasonic. I'll give them that. Energizer, we're talking $17 for just one. I'm sure Panasonic will sleep well tonight knowing that Vaughan Smith said they make good batteries. Put up your feet, Panasonic. Share prices through the roof. Through the roof. Buy now, buy now.

Okay, so I mean on the scale of how urgent is this? Hang on, what do you use your camera for? Photos. Don't talk to me like I'm a dumb idiot, Rihanna. But you are. If we could just drop the tune here, please. Someone's not getting Hayley's vote

for the batteries. I'm just saying, woman, is it a hobby or a job or what are you taking photos of? It's a hobby. I love taking film photos. How much does it cost to develop a film these days? Or do you do it yourself? It's expensive.

My one I get is $21. For 24? For 31 photos. That's not bad. That's not bad. I'm not overwhelmed. That's not bad. Okay, Rihanna.

So it's a hobby. Just wait there. Wait there, Rihanna. Hobby or not. Kelly'm not overwhelmed. It's not bad. Okay, Rihanna. So it's a hobby. Just wait there. Wait there, Rihanna. Hobby or not. Kelly, good morning. Good morning. What do you need a battery for? I'm 39 and a half and mowed the lawns for the first time a couple of months ago.

Good for you. Never too late. It's never too late to mow the lawns, Kelly. Makita battery because the lawnmower needs two. One doesn't work anymore. Ah! Broken. Ah! So they're the rechargeable ones, right? That's the most expensive part about cordless tools.

So are these the ones that work on all the range? Yeah. Yeah. So we're talking $185? That's stretching. That's stretching the budget. $199? Okay, AliExpress do them for $29. Oh, that'll do? Yeah.

How can you use your garage to burn down? Guys, I need to get my steps up, so this is helping my health as well. Oh, this is a matter of life and death, you're saying? Absolutely. Okay. Might have 10. Might have 10 have got them. Okay, yeah.

200. Okay, but it is, right, the lawns. See, that's $199 at might have 10 have got them. Okay, yeah, okay, but it is, right, the lawns. See, that's $199 at Mitre 10. Yeesh. But if you can prove somewhere else has got it cheaper for a same-day purchase. Yeah, see, the AliExpress ones aren't a fish, so they're not going to match that, are they?

Okay, Kelly, wait there. Vaughan's going to be done. This is Vaughan's new idea. What needs a battery? What's got no power? Hamish, new idea. What needs a battery? Yeah. What's got no power? Hamish, good morning. Hello, good morning, team.

How are we? Really good, thanks. I'm fine other than Vaughan being here. What do you need a battery for? I need a battery for a 1950 Massey Ferguson tractor. Well, I'm a John Deere ambassador. I shan't hear the Massey Ferguson name on this station I'm a John Deere ambassador. I shan't hear the Massey Ferguson name on this station.

No. What kind of battery does that take? That takes a sizable battery. I believe it is between $200 and $300, depending on the brand. You've lost me there. Christ. We should go back to the cheap battery.

Batteries are expensive. The $5.99 one. Go back to the camera. We can't just make the rule of the game is the cheapest battery wins. No, but some of these people are taking the piss. What do you expect when you said call up and tell us what you need a battery for? I don't know. My car remote's not working or the garage door's not working. God, what if someone calls up one day with an EV?

Those batteries are like, how much are those? Or their pacemaker battery needs replacing. Now we're paying for surgery, recovery, all of that. The public health system. Oh, my gosh. This is not a well-thought-out idea. Well, it's still public. It's not.

You're right, Hayley. It's not a well-thought-out idea. It's a man that is. Yeah, I came up with it in about two seconds last night to fill a couple of lines on a prep email. Do you really think I was well thought out in there, Brett? Well, who's your winner then, Vaughn?

Oh, we can't afford those two expensive batteries. We're just going to give it to Rihanna. Rihanna, you are our winner. And here's the good news, Rihanna. Sometimes in these radio competitions we'll just send you the cash equivalent. No, no, no. There'll be a battery shop today. Oh. Yeah. There'll be a battery shop today.

Oh, wow. There'll be a battery shop today. Vaughan's going to do it. Vaughan's going to the warehouse. I'm not doing it. Carwin's doing it. Carwin's like, no, I'm not. I'm not going to do it.

Okay, well, Carwin's off to the warehouse. He had a $5.99. No, wait. Wait. No, you can't send lithium batteries in the post. Whereabouts do you live, Rihanna? Wellington. Yeah, you're going to have to come to our Auckland studios and pick that up.

You pop up. You're going to have to collect it. When are you next in Auckland? I have mates in Auckland. Okay, so they can get it and they'll drive it down. It's only eight and a half hours. Yeah. It doesn't seem worth it for the trillion.

This is exactly how I envisage this going. You haven't thought about this competition board. You have not thought about it. We're going to have to cash a quiff. Do we still have Wellington employees? Yep. We'll send one of them to a store. We'll send one of them to a store and get a battery.

Okay, then they can drive around. Hand deliver the battery. That is the Vaughan Smith guarantee. This $5 battery, we're going to get some poor intern in Wellington Studios to get their own money. The company will pay them back in two months. I was going to say, the company will reimburse them after they fill out 18 PDFs. And we'll reimburse them in two to three months.

That's a great competition. Rihanna, congratulations for winning a $5.99 battery. You know, we should get someone on board. We could get a sponsor on board. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't get like a Panasonic or an Energizer, but you'd get a place that stocked the batteries. Yeah, right.

I'm thinking Mitre 10. Yeah, right. You talk to them. You're a company man. I'm a money-making machine over here, cranking out killer content and making the place dollar bills. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day,'s fact of the day

My daughter told me this So I was like that's a good one So this is a nepo fact of the day My daughter told me this So I was like That's a good one Because I'm sure This is a Nepo fact of the day Is it? Nepo

We should do Nepo week Other kids suggest Fact of the days And I'm like Yeah My kids though Geniuses I've got a real future

In this fact business Apparently having a sick day today I've just been told And I told Shade That she's been plagued I was never allowed a sick day I think once've just been told, and I told Sade that she's been plagued. I was never allowed a sick day. I think once I had a limb hanging off my... Just by a tendon.

And mum's like, go to school. I'm like, okay. I had the zombie virus. Yeah. And mum made me go to school. But that was great because, gosh, there were some children and I ate their brains. Yeah, yum, delicious.

The Olympic rings. The Olympic rings, right? The Olympic rings. The Olympic rings, right? The Olympic rings. Yeah, we know. There's five of them. Oh my God, really? There's five of them and they represent the five continents

that participate in the Olympics. Oh, I don't think I knew that. Did you not know that? No. Because does Antarctica compete? We've got a couple of idiots in studio. Yeah, does Antarctica compete? No, it doesn't.

What are you looking in a mirror? What? You said there's a couple of idiots in studio. I said, what are you looking in a mirror? Okay, so the five continents that compete. Africa. The Americas. Now, that's where they'll get you

because technically if you're counting continents, you count North America and South America as two different continents. Yeah. But they counted them as one, the Americas. Because then that, along with Antarctica, you got seven. Yeah. He's cutting his kiwi fruit and rings again.

Yeah, Olympic rings for each of the continents. It's pretty cute. They better be five. They better be the same. So Africa, the Americas, Asia, Europe, and Oceania. Why are they the colours they are? Blue, yellow, black, green, red. Is it a pride thing?

It's not a pride thing. It's not a pride thing. He's made Olympic rings out of his kiwi fruit discs. Now, that's the right way up to me, because if you've done that, from your perspective, you'd put three on the bottom and two on the top. Yeah, I know. I know my tops and bottoms.

Okay, good. You can pick them. If anyone does. So the colours, apparently, they needed, they had five rings. Yeah. They picked the five most popular flag colours. Oh, so that makes sense. Your reds and your blues.

Yeah, and be like, our flag is represented there. What is it? Is he red, blue, yellow, green, black? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. The reason they interlocked,

they never used to be the first ever ones they weren't interlocked. They were just beside each other but then the interlock represents the unity. They keep blowing away. They keep blowing away.

And then we're just all floating single. Oh shit, we lost another ring. There used to be 20 rings. It was like a regular game as who line is it anyway up there. We should connect them.

So we connected them because that represented the unity in the meeting of athletes from around the world at the Olympic Games, and we all know what goes on in the village. Unity. Bitter blue rings. And they should always be displayed on a white background. Okay.

And that's what I was told about the Olympic rings. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So today's fact of the day is there's five Olympic rings, each ring representing A continent that takes part In the Olympics

And the colours were chosen Because they were the most popular colours of flags At the time of establishment Fact of the day Day Day Day Day

Yeah Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Okay, so Ben and Jen are done again. Apparently filing for divorce. They haven't said anything yet, but... It's over. I've never seen a man look so miserable in his life. Now, it's almost a cliche that after a breakup, you either, like, stack on a bunch of weight or you, like, shred and then you have your little hot revenge body or you make a drastic change, you shave your hair off

or you die, blah, blah, blah. He's done this. And he has been spotted this weekend sporting a new haircut, a faux hawk of sorts. Shaved all up the sides, little kind of bit left on top. Is it for a movie? Let's hope so. It looks like a military haircut.

Yeah. Jarhead. What was that called? Jarhead. That movie, yeah, that's right. He's a bit old to be doing military movies, don't you think? Yeah. You know what I mean?

He could play like a grizzled colonel or something. Yeah, could be. But anyway, or he's just doing the post-breakup, I'm going to change my look, I'm going to just reinvent myself. A lot of people do that when they break up. This is what I wanted to ask this morning of our listeners. What was the change you made after the breakup? Maybe you got a bloody ginormous tattoo or

you... When a partner gets like super ripped and hot, you're just like, oh, come on. Like, what? I know. It would be incredible motivation. Especially if they did you wrong. Yes, it would. If they cheated on you and then you were like, okay.

I'm getting shreds. Or maybe it was just something simple. Like you became a goth, threw out all your colourful clothes, and took a trip to the dark side. A lifestyle change or anything. Maybe you got a new hobby. You did something that your partner never used to like doing. Yeah.

Maybe. Just did a total change. Okay, well, here, whatever it was, 0800-DARLS-AT-M is the number. Call us now. You can text through 9696. After a breakup, what was the thing that you changed? We want to know what you changed after a breakup because Ben Affleck

is sporting a faux hawk and it's a look. Yeah, maybe it was a makeover change. Maybe it was a new hobby, a new lifestyle. Just shaking off that prim proper Jennifer Lopez and going all bad boy. Maria, what did you change after a breakup? I ended up entering a bodybuilding show.

Wow. Got second, and then I got two tattoos, and I went to Kmart and changed all my couch cushions. Yes. I'll tell you what. Kmart couch cushions. It was the couch cushions crescendo of that story that really

earned this round of applause. That's a breakup trifecta there. So what, you just never, you never wanted to do bodybuilding or you weren't allowed

while you were in a relationship? They weren't a fan? I just probably didn't have time and didn't take myself seriously and then I thought, stuff it, so I did it.

Good on you. That's so good. Maria, thank you. Let's go good. Maria, thank you. Let's go to Nicole. Nicole, what did you change after a breakup? Well, technically, we broke up the weekend before I started nursing school. But we were together for about a year.

And he was around while I was applying for nursing and got in and was really excited to start. And then that week leading up to starting nursing school, he's like, oh, you won't be smart enough to actually pass or follow through. What a day. So, yeah, broke up with him. Good riddance. Yeah. So I've been nursing for six years actually next week. Yay!

Look at that. You are smart enough. Yeah. Good on you. Good on you. I mean, you would have been able to do it anyway, I've just done that. Yay! Look at that. You are smart enough. Yeah. Good on you. Good on you. I mean, you would have been able to do it anyway, I'm sure. But sometimes a bit of that, like, motivation, eh? A bit of like, I'll show you.

It's legally blonde. What? Like, it's hard? Yeah. Nicole, thank you. Kayleigh, what did you change after a breakup? I got, like, five, six ear piercings and I got two tattoos. Yeah.

Yes. What are the tattoos of? One is like, it's like a snake and like a tree thing. I got like a kind of a biggish one on my thigh and I got one on the back of my arm and one of my piercings, I got my nipple pierced

because he told me I wasn't allowed to. Yes, you are. They're your nipples. Exactly. Good on you. I love't allowed to. Yes, you are. They're your nipples. Exactly. Good on you. I love that. Yeah, good on you. A couple of tats and a nippy pierce. Why not? This is why Ben Affleck's finally got the faux hawk.

He's got the bad boy look. J-Lo wouldn't let him have it. Yeah, I know. She wanted a prim and proper guy. He has had the same haircut for like ever. Yeah, he has. He has. Thanks, Kayleigh. Teddy swims.

And that's all we're talking about this morning. We want to know what you changed up when they showed you the door. Well, maybe you showed them the door. Good from you, actually. Yeah, thank you. Really what you've referenced. Ladies and gentlemen,

it's a perfect radio. The segue there. The song, what we're talking about, a little bit of passion for the artist. Yeah, great there. Man. Chef's kiss.

Chef's kiss from you. Thank you. So what did you change after the relationship ended? After I broke up with my girlfriend of four years, I got an eyebrow piercing and a nose piercing and the Star Wars half sleeve tattoo she said was too nudey and had forbade me to get.

See, I feel like that would be you after a breakup. You'd get all the Star Wars Lego. Yeah, yeah, Lego. I wouldn't get tattoos. You'd be like one of those quarters. Yeah, your house would smell like cat piss and there'd be Lego everywhere. My house wouldn't smell like cat piss because there'd be no cats.

It would. Why does it smell like cat piss? No, he's got you there. He hasn't got me anywhere. No, no, no, no. He hasn't got me anywhere. He's got you, Fletch. Oh, then I wouldn't have a cat.

There would be no cats. There would just be farm animals. No, they're neighbourhood cats. Oh, yeah. Because he keeps leaving the window open. Yeah, because he keeps leaving the ranch sliding open.

And the roof's collapsing. Yeah. Tons of cat food in there To keep the raccoons at bay Great gardens reference Yeah Great documentary If you know anything Oh fantastic

I got really skinny And got a hot new boyfriend Covered in tattoos And now he's my husband Oh yeah That's great revenge Picture of the husband Especially if they cheated

Yeah Pictures Please send pics of the husband After the relationship I went car shopping Ended up buying a new lampshade. No word of a car. They went car shopping, but they ended up buying a new lampshade.

A few more months later, though, I bought a new motorcycle. Oh, yeah, that's hot. You're badass. That's good. You're going to get your license for that. After I found out that my ex slept with a new teacher in a small country town in the outback, I moved home to New Zealand.

I always told him I never wanted to move back home to New Zealand. Best decision I've ever made. And I only have him to thank. Or her. If you count her. My ex back in the US was obsessed with Lord of the Rings, so when we broke up, I lived out his dream and moved to New Zealand. Yeah.

But that has just worked out five years later. Do you think they got back together? Or they met someone at Hobbiton. Yeah, maybe they met someone at Hobbiton. Yeah, maybe they met someone at Hobbiton. Yeah, they met at Hobbit. That'd be nice. Country change for me. Yep.

Female, 42 years old. After my last breakup, I changed countries. Moved home. That was nearly seven years ago. Always got to say both syllables of that word, don't you? Yeah. You really do. If you say one.

Yeah. That's a swear word. I didn't realise this until you talked about it, but I actually got loads of ear piercings as a direct result of my divorce and I'd never really put the two together. Oh, yeah. Yeah. After my ex-husband got a tattoo, a yin and yang dragon and a phoenix,

and after the last ex, I got a tattoo on the arm saying, breathe, you got this. Oh, yeah. Just breathe, also a great tattoo, just to remind you. Yeah, just to remind you to stay alive, you got this. Oh, yeah. Just breathe. Also a great tattoo. Just to remind you. Yeah, just to remind you to stay alive. Yeah.

That is good. Someone just straight up got into a woman. Yeah. They were just like, I've had enough of that. Yeah, right. I actually know quite a few people like that. They just went, and that's the last man. And exclusively women now.

See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast.

And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well. ZM's F same for this podcast. Yeah. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.