ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 5th November 2024

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

We're back! Mass food poisoning at uni We aren't using tampons anymore Top 6 things to give up instead Britneys got a jewellery line SLP - Have you made a friend in the last year? Have you had a case of mistaken identity? It's NZ Firefighter calendar time Vaughan cried at Peter Pan Dorito dating theory Do you  have your name? We'll give you a new one Fact of the day Hayley got Masc Launching our podcast specialSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Melbourne Cup slash Guy Fawkes Day.

Ugh. Not a great fan of either of them, I'll be honest. Hell of a combo, horses and fireworks. Yeah, nah, Day. Ugh. Not a great fan of either of them, I'll be honest. Hell of a combo. Hell of a combo, horses and fireworks. Yeah, nah, neither. Yeah. Do you know why? Because out where Vaughn and I live, as soon as you kind of drive into our area,

there's all these ginormous tacky signs like, Big Daddy fireworks. Monsterful. Okay, that sounds fun. No. I'm very into fireworks. We just don't get it around us. There's too many people with horses.

Yeah, true. Whereas I'm a little bit more suburbia. Yeah. We're in this weird mix of not like farm big where people can do it in the middle of their farm and just move the cattle away and have like a full blown bonfire and fireworks. Too small. I'm right in the central city where people fire Roman candles out the balcony.

Yeah, that's good fun. Great time of year. I love it. People come together, you know. It's really bringing the company together. People come together to scream at the one arsehole sitting on fireworks at three o'clock in the morning. I will murder you.

Your chance to get in the draw. We're still doing this. This week, just had to check. iHeart Radio Jingle Ball. Oh, good. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, great lineup in New York. So if you want to get to New York,

five nights, five nights in New York. And not only that, an amazing gig. Eight o'clock this morning, just identify the famous New Yorker, fictional or... Otherwise.

Other, other, otherwise. Other, otherwise. Otherwise. Or non-fictional fiction. Huge fan of today's voice. Yeah, 8 o'clock, go in the drawer. Top six on the way. Yep. Gen Z's are giving up sexy fun times and sleep for this new thing.

And I'm saying, come on guys, get real. Sleep and sex, two of my favourite top three things that start with S. The other one,

sausage rolls. Yum. The other one. What's your order? If you've got to go sleep, sex, sausage rolls, how are we doing it? Sleep,

number one. Two, sausage rolls for breakfast. Sleep, number one. Two. Sausage rolls for breakfast. Sausage rolls. Yeah. Because you've got to have some sausage rolls. Three. No, I'm not saying rank them.

I'm saying we're doing all three. You just literally said. No, no. I mean we're doing all three in an afternoon. What order are we doing it in? Sex before sleep. Yeah, sleep. Because everybody knows.

And then wake up with sausage rolls. Yeah. And then wake up with sausage rolls. Yeah. Great. Great. What a perfect day. The big O before a little snooze.

Oh, of course. And then a little big O before a little snooze. Oh, of course. And then a little saucy roll after a snooze. So I've got the top six things they should be giving up instead. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Well, Canterbury University is investigating. Two student halls of residence have fallen sick. Oh, no. Two student halls worth of students.

Because they reckon that there's been some food poisoning, bad food. Oh, no. Two student halls worth of students. Because they reckon that there's been some food poisoning, some bad food. Oh, no. Like maybe some, what, some chicken? Maybe. But two halls of residence. Yeah. So are they on the same catering company?

Must be. Yeah. And when in a hall, because I didn't live in a halls of residence, you'd share, but I'd frequented some for visits. For study time. To study with some friends. And they were always like there's just joint toilets, like your

dorm doesn't have a personal toilet. Well that, do you know that's what they've said apparently, over 200 students were up at all hours of the night, there was vomiting, extreme diarrhea there were lines for the toilet. Extreme diarrhea,

not just diarrhea, which in itself is extreme enough. It's extreme. And apparently like there were like obviously that many toilets. So there were lines for the toilets. And you see you're queuing to explode.

Yeah. So one student quoted in a news article who asked to remain anonymous said after dinner on Sunday night is when over 200 students were up at all hours of the night. So, okay, if you were in a single room dorm, right, you've just got your own little space and there's queues for the bathroom, do you reckon you'd get in a bucket? Do you reckon you're fetching yourself a little bucket?

No way. But you're going to go in there and just hear... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all around you. It's always weird enough when you're sharing communal toilets and you have to wait and someone comes out and you know they've done poo. I know. And then your seat's warm. And the seat's warm.

Oh! Yuck. They reckon it was a chicken souvlaki and a rice dish, which was Sunday night's meal. Rice can get you. Although, bean sauce and wedges. What was for breakfast or something before that? Because people always blame the last meal they had,

but these things can take a little while to settle in and the bacteria to really dupe up. Chicken could be, what, like 12 that night? Chicken could be that night. Yeah. I've definitely, like, like 12 that night? Chicken could be that night. Yeah. I've definitely eaten a bad meal and then been terrible quite quickly. Right. Well, apparently, yeah,

they're going to investigate. Oh, that makes me feel so unwell. But it's exam time, so everybody is like... Well, what a better time to study when you're forced on the loo. Yeah. Bring your textbooks down. And if you run out of toilet paper, just take the pages at the front and the back that are blank.

Yeah, or just sort of index. Oh, my God. Honestly, that feels like hell on earth. Those poor students. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Journalists went around and asked a bunch of teenagers in New Zealand their thoughts on period products and how we feel

it used to only be one thing well it used to only really be a cloth back in the day that's why they say on the rag because they literally just get some cloths and rags always remember watching there's a New Zealand movie called Angel at My Table

about famous New Zealand author Janet Frame. And we watched it in high school. And there's one period, pun intended, where she gets her period and her mother safety pins an old towel at the front of her undies and the back of her undies. And as high schoolers were like, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's crazy. And the teacher was like, literally not that long ago. Not that long ago at all.

That's what happened, especially for people who didn't have access to them. We were just like, what? So they asked a bunch of teenagers between 13 and 19 their thoughts on it. And the general consensus is that tampons are dead, done with them. Everyone's like, oh, God, no, absolutely not. Whereas in my generation, that was the go-to. But they're still in the supermarket, so, God, no. Absolutely not. Whereas in my generation, that was the go-to. But they're still in the supermarket. So people are buying them.

They're still buying them. But I think this will be like the safety-pinned towel. Yep. It's going to be a thing of the past. It will work its way out. It's going to be a thing of the past. Because their menstrual cups came in and they were really big for a while. Not really big.

They were small and insertable. They were buckets. Yeah, they were like big rubbery buckets. I've't, not really big. They were small and insertable. They were buckets. See, they were like big rubbery buckets. I've never used one. I couldn't get my head around them. But they got very popular. But a lot of people love them. I know, but now people just wear period undies. And that's where it's at.

That's where it's at. People were saying that they think tampons are uncomfortable. One person, her name's Lali, she's 19. She says, they're not cool. Oh, so it's more of a cool factor. No, they're uncomfortable. They're not cool.

Environmentally, because, you know, teenagers, because we've left them quite a screwed up planet. Quite a wasteland. Yeah, quite a wasteland, what we've done there. So they have to worry about it. Don't say it us like people before i was speaking on behalf of everyone who's not a teenager yeah but not us no we didn't you're not asked like you're talking about people in there like i don't know 60 70s pretty quiet about

it all but they played a good part yeah they're just like leave us leave us be we're just keeping our heads down we're not the target but they're worried about the environmental impact of it also there's there are chemicals and tampons And then you're putting that inside your body And you're like, oh Yeah It's a bit off So they're done I'll never forget the day that I watched

Go on Looking forward to seeing where this ends up I watched I'll never forget my first Well, there's original given to me by my great-grandfather I'll never forget my first tampon given to me to me by my great-grandfather I'll never forget my first tampon given to me by my mother No, I just remember I had one friend who

had trouble getting it right How to get it? There's an angle Literally when you get a box of tampons it comes with a little leaflet and it shows you Not even that long ago

We had kids but they were like little little and Shaday and I were just talking about you get a box of tampons that comes with a little leaflet. Yeah. And it shows you. Not even that long ago. So we had kids, but they were like little, little. And Shade and I were just talking about like what it will be like when they get to the age where they need to be told. Yeah. And I was, and I started like just asking questions

from a very naive place. Of course. And I said to Shade, where do you keep your applicator? Applicator? That's so American. But then that's just, she's like

no I've got 10 of them I was born with 10 of them nothing more nothing more Kiwis than just bloody thumbing it in yeah no no

I'm not carrying around that shit but I remember a friend of mine struggled with the insertion of it and my other friend was trying to

we would be like 13 or 14 yeah my other friend was trying to describe it she was like it's like this

but you gotta go back not up back and my other friend was just to describe it. She was like, it's like this but you've got to go back, not up. Back. And my other friend was just like, I just can't get it right. It just keeps slipping towards my butt. She was sort of in the outside bit. So in the end my friend was just like, come here

and we went into the bathroom and she like showed her. That's a friendship. How beautiful. Are they still friends? Yeah, lifelong friends. I don't think you can not be friends once you've literally seen and been part of that. It's a bonding experience. Very intimate.

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. I have read an article. The Morning Shed. He's a clever boy.

He copied and posted it into Church EPT and he said, can you please summarise this article and put it into five bullet points for me. The Morning Shed is this new beauty regime being undertaken by Gen Z's. It's an elaborate skin time, night time skin care routine, but then you leave it on all night and you've got to obviously sleep on your back so it doesn't get smeared all over your pillow. I've seen this and I was like, I honestly would just choose to not look as good the next day.

They've got like a mask on. Yeah, there's a thing under the chin to tighten this bit under the... How do you do that? Gobble, gobble, gobble. It's your tape. It's like sports tape and you tape it up your double chin.

Hair rollers, mouth guards, chin straps and sometimes mouth tape to purportedly improve skin and facial structure overnight. So that you're not sleeping like this and creating neck wrinkles. Yeah. And then in the morning, they're all like peeling it off and they're all glowing and stuff.

Serums, moisturisers and treatments. Now the problem is it takes so long to do that you're getting to bed later. You're not getting as good a quality sleep because you're sleeping on your back and you can't disturb it. And then in the morning you've got to wake up earlier to take it all off and get your face ready for the day. That sounds like a rigmarole. And even worse, when you get into bed, you're not hanky-panky. There's no hanky-panky. Because you're all taped up.

You can't smooch and hanky-panky. No. Well, you can't smush the face because you've got the serums on. Yeah. You have to make love like Fletch. No kissing. And a pillow princess just lying on his back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No kissing. Just remain completely still. Yeah. Yeah, that's not. Mouth tape. That's not. On your stomach, chin elevated. Yeah.

Well, how do you think you get this draw line? Exactly. The best in the room, I'll say it. So they're saying this isn't worth it. Sleep is probably the most important thing to good skin. Yeah. Hydration and a good night's sleep. Eat well.

Yeah. No ultra processed foods. Oh, but that's obviously too hard. No, I've got to tape myself up. Waste all your money taping your face. Tape it up. I mean, if it all goes down south, just get Botox and a facelift, you know? Go to Turkey.

The amount you're spending on the way there, just spend it in one whack getting it taken care of. Top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleep and sex. Number six on the list. Stupid get ready with me videos. Just hurry up and get ready. Just hurry up and get ready. We don't need to get ready.

There's someone somewhere waiting in the car for you to get in. Yeah. And you're filming a video. Yeah. Or just being like, come on. The day is beginning. Number five on the list of the top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleep and sex. Googling cucumber salad recipes.

Why are we eating so much cucumber? We are gobbling cucumber. We can't afford to do that in New Zealand. It's too expensive. Well, we're getting into the cucumber season. Yeah, but even so. I've got so many cucumber plants in the garden because I've got children that will every day try to make a different cucumber salad. Oh, God, of course.

To be honest, some of them are really yum. It's a lot of water. I know they're really yum, but just make really yum. It's a lot of water. I know they're really yum, but just make your salad. There's a lot of sesame oil. Yeah. A lot of sesame oil. Would you have dared,

would you ever thought to have splashed something on a sesame oil? That's delicious. It's quite delicious. Yeah, that's good. It's not great for you though. Number four on the list

of the top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleep and sex. Playing Dress to Impress. Have you heard about Dress to Impress? Yes. It's an app, eh? It's a game within Roblox.

Right. And it like randomly goes, and these are your options. And then you've got to put together an outfit before your little model thing struts down the catwalk. And then everybody votes on who had the best look. It's crazy. Number four on the list of the top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleep and sex.

Doomscrolling. Yeah. Which I mean, Doomscrolling probably costs people a bit of sleep and sex as well. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, we could probably all do that. Although the US election. God, that's hard. It's hard not to Doomscroll.

Nothing doomier than scrolling that. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleep and sex. This one blew my mind. Watching The Rookie. You know that Rookie? Yes. You know the TV show The Rookie starring Nathan Fillion?

Yeah. Do you know how popular that is with like under 20s? Is it? Yeah, it's having a moment. I do not, because I came in the other day and the girls were watching The Rookie on Netflix. I was like, what are you guys watching? The Rookie.

I'm like, why are you watching The Rookie on Netflix. I was like, what are you guys watching? The Rookie. I'm like, why are you watching The Rookie? It's amazing. It's so ridiculous. This is like when my kids got into watching Young Sheldon and I was like, I'd never watched Young Sheldon and I was like, is it like The Big Bang Theory? And it's the prequel to The Big Bang Theory but completely different to The Big Bang Theory. Quite serious, a lot of like, not dark

but like serious family issues and they watched that and now they're onto The Rookie? Is it appropriate? I don't think it's probably appropriate. Serious, not dark, but serious family issues. Right. They watched that. Now they're on to The Rookie? Yeah. Is it appropriate? I don't think it's probably appropriate. I think it's probably not that bad. It's just a police procedural.

I know. Just a six-year-old. Is it a comedy? At the heart of it. It's quirky. It's quirky. It's not a serious police procedural. He's a cheeky.

It's so weird. They're all watching The Rookie. I do find that so weird. I just Googled the numbers and yeah, Netflix was like, don't know why. Don't know why. I can't explain it.

Someone watched The Rookie and then said, this is great and now they're all watching The Rookie. Okay. And number one on the list of the top six things Gen Z should give up instead of sleeping sex.

Learning TikTok dances with their besties. Yeah. Just, we're done. I think we're done. I think we could be done with that. I think we're done. I think we could be done with that. I think we're done with that. We've been done with that since Savage Love.

Bam, bam, bam. Aw. Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. And then we just kept going. No. That was simple. At least that one was simple. Now that's intricate.

That's the next episode. Play. ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, you know I'm a big Britney advocate I love her I love her music I loved her when I was young

she's been through the ringer that's somewhat of an understatement been through the bloody ringer hashtag free Britney she got out of her conservatorship and she has since gone quite rogue and it is kind of a beautiful train wreck because I get the impression that she's also enjoying it. Do you know what I mean?

That she's just living her best life. She's having fun. Married herself last week. Then some announcement of music that wasn't actually happening. She's still doing her dancing with knives. What music did she announce? It's not happening. That Will.i.am thing.

Yeah. No, not that. It was like a rumour that she was working on new music at the moment. She's in studio. Yeah, she did a song with Will.i.am thing yeah no no not that it was like a rumour that she was working on new music at the moment she's in studio yeah she did a song with Will.i.am

yeah way back yeah I thought she was doing more though no the most god awful song you've ever

heard in your life it's not as good as Womanizer so yesterday I was on my social medias and I was there I was online

at the same time as Brit Brit because fresh post from Brit. Yeah. And it's a little pink rose saying B as in capital B slash like gap tiny, be tiny. Yeah. And it's her announcing that she has been working really hard on a jewellery line. Right.

Okay. And lots of celebs have jewellery, even our bloody own... Runga. Is it Bic? Bo. Bo Runga. Yeah, okay. Very successful.

Primarily earns her income of wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bo Jewellery. So she announces it, be tiny. Yeah. I'm so excited. My first jewellery line is coming soon. Delicate, extremely different,

and one of a kind pieces in her own words. And then she shares a photo. Now, if you've ever been to a market in, I'll say the Middle East. Yep. Where's this going? I don't know if I have. Like a bazaar. I've been to like a souk.

You know, a bazaar, a souk, a market. Or even the markets in say Singapore, Hong Kong. Or even I would say if you had have been into, what was it before it was La Visa? Not Claire's. Girlies, what was it? Hang on.

Get on the mic because I cannot. It was Diva. Diva! If you've ever been into Diva, which was like the home of cheap jewellery, you would have maybe seen something quite similar to Brittany's first delicate, extremely different pieces. Okay, yeah, right. That I would describe.

So she's got like a ring sort of wrist chain. I would describe it with faux turquoise. Yeah. And a metal that I'm going to assume is some kind of thing that's going to turn your hand black and green. She went to the local college on Wednesday nights and did a jewellery making class. Do you think she's importing these in?

You wouldn't put that in a spa pole. Oh, no, you would absolutely rash to the wazoo it doesn't look classy or expensive it looks really cheap but do you know what maybe that's um positive to say because i am a britney advocate i know you're a britney advocate yeah what does she have a team behind her you know like i don't know like a manager and surely she does right surely after the conservatorship she probably just got rid of everybody i think she did and you know, like... I don't know. Like a manager. Surely she does, right? Surely. I know that after the conservatorship, she probably just got rid of everybody.

I think she did. And I mean, I'm sure she's got an assistant or something like that. Yeah, okay. She definitely doesn't have anyone managing her social media. Anyway, I guess stay tuned for Be Tiny, Britney's new jewellery range. Yeah, coming to a Saturday flea market near you.

Yes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly Little Poll Silly Little Poll Silly Little Poll Silly Little Poll Today's Silly Little Poll Have you made a new friend in the last year? Now this is on the back of a news story and this is based on Americans concerned that the social isolation didn't stop with the pandemic

and a poll has found that many Americans are starving for human contact Americans concerned that the social isolation didn't stop with the pandemic. Yeah. And a poll has found that many Americans are starving for human contact. Oh, gosh. In 2024. 37% saying they're stuck in a rut. And 4 in 10 saying that they haven't made new friends. It was weird that you said 37%, but just didn't follow it up with 40%. Yeah.

40%. I know. Yeah. Mathematically, you were all over the show then. Well, 40% of people haven't made new friends in over a year. I was talking, I actually had a really big conversation over the weekend about this, about just, you know, you've just got your people and some people aren't really interested in making new friends. Yeah.

I've got my team. Whereas, you know me, I I just keep Gotta catch them all The same thing said 38% haven't attended A party in six months Sounds ideal to me I love parties But that's the thing like

I'm not You do think about The friends you've made And if you hadn't Gone to a party Or you hadn't Gone to something You wouldn't have made

Those lifelong friends Yeah but I've already Made them So I don't need anymore But we've all made A lot of new friends In the last couple of years. Like the gaggle, you know, like... Oh, I didn't really know you knew that much, Fletch, you know.

I suppose I'll call you a friend. I suppose I'll call you a friend. I suppose I'll call you a treasured friend. I suppose I'll call you my soul mate. I suppose I'll call you the most special little angel I've ever met in my entire non-existent life before you. It can be hard. You talk to people that move to new towns.

I was talking to someone the other day and they said it's very clicky where they are. Small rural New Zealand is hard to get into. Hard to break in. And so you're trying to make friends with people and they don't want a bar of it. Yeah, fair enough. I think New Zealand is pretty bad at that.

Yeah. I remember someone saying. Yeah. Maybe from overseas, yeah. New Zealand is all bloody moving here and sticking to themselves and not socialising. We asked have you made a new friend in the last year? 72% of people said yes.

That's surprising. I love that. 28% said nay Nay I have not Matty Started a new job And have made a couple of new friends Still not friends enough To hang outside of work though

Not friends enough To add them on social media So they see when you're pulling a sickie Yeah yeah yeah Gotta build that trust And don't narc on you Yeah yeah I was on maternity leave

And recently moved to rural England. Oh, Alfie. Rural England. That sounds lovely. Oh, rural England. Well, stone walls, little bridges. The first thing I was going to say is, do you think she's got a stone wall?

A cottage? In a cottage. With a sort of garden? Oh, yes, it's a rambling garden. And one of those Teletubby pills. Postman Pat. Postman Pat and his black

and white cat. That's me ruling Linda's Postman Pat. Him cruising over those little lanes. You know what,

she probably lives in a townhouse in a shithole. You know what I mean? I'll say it. Smoggy. Unemployment's through the roof

because the factory shut down. She said there's a Tinder for mums called Peanut and I've met so many mum friends on it. Oh, that's cool. It's nice.

Yeah, that's how a lot of people make friends, eh? When they're kids. Mum groups. Yeah, mum groups. No, we didn't do one of those. I tell you how you don't make friends is bring your kid to a dog hut

and it's all locked. Oh, but that feels targeted. So I bring my kid to a dog hut. Yes. How old? Like this big. Three? That's a dog hut, my dude. No child's in there. I don't know kids. A chihuahua? Yeah, like Three? That's a dog. He's like, my dude, no child.

I don't know kids. A chihuahua? Yeah, like the size of a small dog. Yeah. Couldn't talk. Oh, no. Toddler. Maybe three?

Toddler. Cried? When it fell over and donked its head, yes. Stupid toddler. Oh, my God. Stupid baby. Yeah, so stupid. Gareth's speaking my language.

He says, I've got a group of friends. Why would I possibly want any more? Yeah, that's a Vaughan. That's a Vaughan call, so stupid. Gareth's speaking my language. He says, I've got a group of friends. Why would I possibly want any more? Yeah, that's a Vaughan. That's a Vaughan call, that one. Amanda, once you get to 40, it's thinning the crop. Don't eat any more. It's quality, not quantity. Oh, 100%.

Yeah. I don't really like people, said Amanda. Even though I work in recruitment, which is all about people, I have five close friends and then a few stragglers, and that's plenty to keep up with. Do the stragglers know that they're considered the stragglers and not the close friends? Surely.

I'm never a straggler. I'm always close. You're getting close. You won't let them straggle. Yeah. Samantha says, I went back to study, and I thought I'd be that 35-year-old that would be isolated, but it's been awesome for making friends.

Oh, that's cool. Vivian said, move from Germany to Australia. So I had to, but Australian people are absolutely lovely, so it's easy. Oh, that's cool. Vivian said, move from Germany to Australia. So I had to, but Australian people are absolutely lovely. So it's easy. Oh, yeah. God, I love the name Vivian. German Vivian too.

It's just so classy. Yeah. Vivi. Viv. Viv. Yeah, for sure. Vivian. I've made new friends through my new hobby,

running, says Claire. Okay. Tony Anna said, I don't really like people. Your people. That's fine if you don't like them. Made a new one last year and then she moved to Australia, that bitch. That's from Gemma. Sorry about that, Gemma.

We met when I started up my new job last year. We clicked immediately and now we're work besties. She hasn't quite taken it out of work to full-time bestie. Just work besties. There you't quite taken it out of work to full-time bestie. Just work besties. There you go. Tech done.

Play ZM's flesh one and Haley. Olivia Rodrigo, who honestly, thank God for her. I love her. Great pop music. Great voice. What's there? Someone's got a new gadget. I'm just sitting.

What is that? And then literally about three seconds before the end, he was like, here we go. Because he's been playing with his new gadget. I'm trying to, I've got one of those wallet card things that you put in your wallet and it connects to your Find My. It's like an Apple AirTag. Yes. I need that.

Because my last one ran out of battery. I've got to get one for my dad as well. Okay. Yeah. We'll talk about gadgets after. For your dad for his wallet or just for your dad? For my dad. You know, we're going to slip them everywhere on him and his things.

Yeah. Anyway, talking about Olivia Rodrigo. She was on Fallon sharing a story about how she was nearly arrested at an airport. I got in trouble with the law for the first time in my life. Talk to me. Okay, so we were going from Canada to, like, Portland or something. We were at border control. I give them my passport, and they're like, okay, whatever.

And they knock on the door, and they're like, we need Olivia. And I'm like, I just played a few shows. Maybe, like, their daughter wants an autograph. Maybe. It's 3 a.m., and I'm delirious, and they take me to a room, and it's an interrogation room. And there's, like, a big cop with, like to a room, and it's an interrogation room. And there's, like, a big cop with, like, a gun, and he's like, have you ever been arrested?

I'm like, no, I haven't been arrested. And he's like, are you sure? I'm, like, gaslighting myself. I'm like, oh, my God, maybe I was, like, arrested, and I didn't know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You start second-guessing yourself. Yeah, of course I was arrested. Yeah, why? Yeah.

I'm not lying. He's like you know you could go to jail for lying to a federal officer like this like this is really bad i'm freaking out i'm like i'm not gonna be let into america like i'm so scared i'm like having a panic attack after 30 minutes interrogation he looks at me he goes what's her name like olivia rodrigo like r-o-d-r-i-g-o and he's like oh there's a there's a girl who looks just like you that's your same age that's been arrested multiple times and her name's

Olivia Rodriguez. So basically, basically, Olivia Rodriguez nearly sent Olivia Rodrigo to jail because Olivia Rodriguez committed some crimes and is a young woman with long brown hair. I mean, you'd imagine

if it was like, I don't know, Bob Smith. Hey, you leave my Uncle Robert out of this. Robert is a good man. Or you know, like Emma Jones, like a common name that many people would share. Yeah, and if they're on the run or they've committed crimes and whatnot. But anyway,

she was fine after this. Have you ever been interrogated at an airport before? Yes, because a friend of the show, Morgan, we were going through Cuba and we had... What did she ever do, Bag? We had Mexican skulls, like fake skulls. Oh, yeah. But they had x-rayed them and thought they were a real human skull.

Oh, okay. But they were just decorative Mexican skulls. What, you're not allowed to do a little bit of voodoo in Cuba anymore? PC madness! Can't do anything. But then they opened our suitcase in front of us and then realised they were polystyrene with plastic and whatnot. No, I don't think I've been in it.

No, I've never. I've been in the little room because we were coming back from somewhere and I was like, I do have something to declare because I'm a good Kiwi. Yep. I definitely did that. I wouldn't have been worried about that. And I was like, oh. You were the ones that make a big thing about it. Yep. And my love. I definitely did that. I wouldn't have been worried about that. And I was like, oh,

you were the ones that make a big thing about it. Yeah. Do you think I should have worried about the reindeer hide that I smuggled back from Norway? Yes, probably.

Wow, that's on my couch. Anyway, I want to know this morning if you've ever been at the centre of a case of mistaken identity when someone thought

that you were someone that you aren't. People, people, this is why, I don't know, have you ever filled out a, like, if you've ever gone into America, there's like a place for a redress number or like a, it's like if this happens to you, you get a number. I think that's what that's for. Or there's like a number you can have that you put in like, oh, it's not me.

We've been through this. I'm not that other person that's on a watch list kind of thing. Yeah, totally. Because that's the thing, people have similar names. Yeah, totally. Or similar appearances or, yeah, you never know. I don't know that I've ever been. Or you get like, yeah, I guess you get bailed out by the police

because you fit a description of someone down the road that did something. There was an episode of Police 10-7 a long time ago, and I'm talking like a long time ago. Earl of Grey and Belday. Like classic Police 10-7. And we were sitting around in a flat watching it, and one of the police sketches looked exactly like our flatmate. Oh, really?

And you're like... And we're like... Was it him though? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, that's what he said. That's what he said. That's what he said. No, it was in like a different city and everything,

but it just looked like them enough that you were like, if someone really loves that show and gets hyper-fixated on, they might see them and be like, oh. Okay, well. I mean, maybe it doesn't even have to be, you know, a criminal or law-based thing. Just when someone mistook your identity for someone else. I used to get it when I was a bit younger all the time.

Oh, are you Steve? I mean, me and Mel Bracewell. God, that was years and years of stuff. People would always have pictures of me playing the piano and be like, Mel Bracewell on the keys. And I was like, I learned those lessons for 16 years, not her. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. We want to take your calls now.

You can text through 9696. Have you had a case of mistaken identity? So we want to know if you you had a case Of mistaken identity So we want to know If you've been If you've had a case Of mistaken identity When someone thought You were someone else Whether it was

A run in with the law Or not Which is a very popular Message that we've had in Yeah Kate said My doppelganger Stole sunglasses

From Smith and Coie Oh That's the thing And your face gets put up On the I would say Smith and Coie Would have a Lovely sunglasses It thing and your face gets put up on the... I would say Smith & Coie would have a...

Oh, lovely sunglasses. It's boosh. So booshy. It's boosh boosh. Yeah. Yes, complained to the bank that someone had used my number,

said Ellie, and I got 150 pounds as a sorry. Oh, that's nice. Because something had been mistaken identity. Tried to get into someone's car

thinking it was mine. I suppose that's a mistaken was mine That's a situation of mistaken car identity Yeah I've done that before And you're beeping your thing And pulling on the handle And then you look in and you say Oh that's not my Oh oh this isn't my car

I've done it once And someone was in the car And I'm like there Cranking on the handle And then you're like Oh my god I'm so there, cranking on the handle. And they're like, ugh. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Or when people get into the wrong car. Hello.

Can I help you? At a concert, I got right up behind my partner, put my arms around her and whispered in her ear. Guess what? Oh no! Guess what? It wasn't her. Nope.

It wasn't her. Not the partner. I love you so much. You're so beautiful. Can I help you, sir? Can I get you a hug? Can I get you home and see some things? See some things. Sorry, it's been a long time since I've engaged

in sexy chat. Hot dirty talk there. Went to get home and eat some yogurt. Cannot wait to get home and see some things. Should we go now while the Ubers are cheaper? Yeah. Surge pricing's about to go through the roof. Hold me back.

Stop. I'm an identical twin in Drew. I'm in my 20s. I had my face slapped by a woman I'd never met because of my identical twin. Oh. Naughty twin. You dirtbag. I had these random teenagers following me around Rebel Sport because they thought I was famous.

I overheard them saying, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's him. We should ask for a photo. Who did they think he was? Don't know. I need to know. Don't know. Oh, someone said, I'm a line haul truck driver

and I always get told that I look and I always get mistaken for Tom Hardy. Terrible person to get mistaken for. I'm not upset. Yeah, I wouldn't be upset about that. We're driving big trucks and we're looking like Tom Hardy? My daughter gets mistaken in public

for the silver fern Maya Wilson. Okay. People come up to her. Yeah, talking to her about netball and she's like, I know you've got the wrong person. You could really have some fun with that. Like get an endorsement. Oh, my wife had the exact same experience as Olivia

when she went through Hawaii on her way to LAX. She was detained for four hours and nearly missed her connection. Eventually there was a known criminal with the same name yeah why like that um and probably doesn't even look like them i was in australia and i was just outside walking down the road and someone chanted one nation one nation i was like what the hell is going on oh please don't tell me they look like they're not looking at pauline no oh you would change. I've spoken to an Australian politician, Pauline Hanson.

Oh, you'd have to change your haircut next time you go to Australia. You'd grow your hair out. You'd grow your hair out next time you go to Australia. Bleach it. Oh, yeah. Die it. You don't want to be mistaken for her. She's a piece of shit.

Guys, there's nothing. She's a piece of shit. My doppelganger shifted into the same town as me. Made for some awkward discussions. Oh, I wonder what they did. What happens when you come face to face with your doppelganger? You both obviously realise you look alike, right?

Yeah. Well, remember a few months ago I hosted that Australian insurance brokers event and the next morning I came back and they were like, wow, wow, wow, haven't you had a big night out in the town? And this whole group of people thought

I was at the bar buying them drinks, but it was a doppelganger. And have you ever managed to track her down? Yeah, I met her there and I saw her. She's Australian. Yeah, I get that. Okay. She had a little bit more hair than me, but that's right.

A female police officer has messaged in the show wondering if they can get what route the Tom Hardy truck driver works on. They'll just pull over if it's works on. They'll just pull over if it's on there. They'll just pull over every trucker. Maybe Tom Hardy is still listening if we can get where you regularly drive and what company you're driving for.

Or maybe we'll pass it on to this Yeah, we'll pass it on to this cop. I mean, if you feel free to give me a link to your Instagram to see if we can get this Tom Hardy-ness. Maybe he's fudging his hours. Fudging his logbook. He could be fudging his logbook.

It's all digital these days. It's hard to fudge. Oh, okay. Fudging his logbook. I'm on my way to Wellington from Palmy right now. There you go. Well, yeah, and probably all the other truck drivers are like, God, now we're going to have a truck stop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those way station things. I'm sure the truck drivers are going to be really sad to be pulled over by a female police officer. Trying to get a look in their face, being like, oh, yeah, what's happening? Oh, yeah. Hello.

Hello, hello. Hello, Tom Hardy. Because they all speak with British accents. Why are they all speaking like that? Bobby on the beats. We're going to bat on her. She walks up, whacking the truck. Yeah, we're bad.

We bad, but Tom Hardy in there. Your access registration, please, Tom. Oh, you're not Tom Hardy. Smash, smash, smash. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Wipe up my drool because I'm looking at the 2025 Kiwi Firefighters calendar. What's that noise?

I don't know. What's that noise? What is that? That shocked me somewhat. What's that? What's that? What's that noise? I don't know. What's that noise? That shocked me somewhat. What's that? What's that? What's happening? I just feel giddy looking at the pretty boys.

I was sent a link, Kiwi Firefighters calendar. I can't even speak. Kiwifirefighterscalendar.co.nz. I clicked on the link. The first thing my eyeballs are confronted with is one of the most rock-hard midsections I've seen in my time. The gutters are pointing down. So every year they do this. Zero pubes.

Minimum. Zero pubes. You can see where they are, though. Trimmed. Trimmed to a zero. To perfection. So every year they do this. And, of course, it's raising money for Movember.

Yeah. Which has started, Anne Fletch, a pitiful effort from you. Do you know I went bush for four days, and I did get some comments yesterday about my five-day stubble. You need to grow a moustache. I genuinely think, because you can grow a beard. You've got full joints. What would it take for us to get you to grow a moustache?

I don't. Put it on the table. What would it take? Like thousands of dollars. But for a charity? No, for me. Okay. So we pay you thousands to raise thousands.

There's not a charity you feel strongly enough about that if we set a fundraising target and we hit it that you would grow a moustache for. And I'm talking a good like grow it in. Not just grow it for a month and then shave it off. I can't deal with facial hair. It itches me so much.

When you push through the itchy stage and then it's not itchy anymore. I don't even know what the itchy stage is. Okay well speaking of... Shannon has suggested a charity. Yeah, we've got to do the gay sheep charity, Rainbow Wool. If you weren't listening last week, we learned that some... What was it, 8% of sheep are homosexuals? Yeah, 8% and then 30% are bi.

I actually drove, because at the start of the heafy track, you go through Tarkika and a lot of farmland. I looked at some sheep and I thought I wonder which ones are gay. I literally went to Cornwall Park and I was scoping them. I thought about the gay sheep all weekend. Was one of those sheep getting up from standing or

did it have lame back legs? There was a few sick ones. Yeah. My immediate thing was gay or not that sheep needs a vet. Yeah, a few sick sheepies at Cornwall Park. Okay, yeah, right. We'll get that. We'll tell the people who we know.

It's not going to be a problem because Fletch is going to raise thousands and thousands of dollars for gay sheep. For the gay sheep. I think this is beautiful. We need to get behind this charity in a big way. And you can grow it, you must. Right. So the firefighters, now, I've got a couple of little samplers. So there's a lovely... My goodness. My God. Wait, where's the sampler? I'm not of little samplers. So there's a lovely...

My goodness. My God. Wait, where's the sampler? I'm not getting any samplers. Look at this. Where is it on the website? If you just go on, like I went on the contact page and they've just got a couple of...

Are they last year's ones, though? Close-ups. I'm not sure. So you can pre... The news is you can pre-order the calendar now? Oh, look at that pack. Of which there are six. Do you need a moment?

Well, there's actually eight. These bodies are utterly insane. So you can go on, if you go on Kiwi Firefighters calendar.co.nz, you buy it. It's 20 bucks. I'm just looking at one of these bodies. Now, if you kind of like take it off just underneath the teat. Yep.

And then down to where the pants start. It actually looks like an ice cream cone. Because the gutters, the V there that comes up on the legs, that's the cone. And then the abs are like the layers of ice cream. I've never seen that before on a naked male torso. So it's raising money for Movember, which is men's health and also mental wellbeing. And that's a huge thing in the firefighter industry.

That's why they get behind it in such a way because it's a high stress job. They see some things. They do an incredible job. And also the key part of mental and physical wellbeing is physical activity. That's why they're like, and we'll show you some other results of great physical activity. Like these bodies. You need one of these calendars.

The models are current firefighters who are acting in a private capacity. Now, usually, Vaughan, you've got a lighter on you. Let's start a goddamn fire. It's like something ablates us. It's something ablates. No, no, no.

We will let the rest of the building know Do you know what today is? It's Guy Fawkes Oh yeah, they are busy today These ripped men with abdominals And a little ice cream cone going on in the midsection Uh oh, I show up straight into my magnolia tree And it's ablaze

Help Help me Why are you setting your magnolia tree on fire? Because I got caught a firefighter Also, you might not get one of the calendar ones. Just saying. Yeah. Because there's 12 firefighters in the calendar,

but I'm guessing there's thousands across this country of ours. No, one of them. Can you? I mean, it's a big chance of winning Lotto and we keep buying those stupid tickets. Exactly. You know, every time that we go for a little walk together after the show,

sometimes we get stopped at a light and we'll see a fire truck. You're telling me that we're not all looking in and having a little look to see if there's a little thing to have a look at. It must be heartbreaking being in that truck, being like, I'm a firefighter. I'm a respected first responder.

Oh, I respect them deeply. Call me in an emergency, da-da-da-da-da. And then you get to a light and you stop and people are looking and you're like, yeah, that's right. We've got a big truck. And then they're like, meh. And turn around and I'd be like, hey! It's because I'm not on the calendar.

Do you remember when we went down to unveil Dame Judy Drench, the Hawke's Bay fire truck at the airport there and Fletch put on the firefighters outfit, they brought us one. One of the most confusing days of my life. You're welcome. And imagine if he'd been with a mustache. Oh, I know

I would have been a goner Well all jokes aside it's for an incredible cause A great cause and they know it as well It's all very tongue in cheek as well I think you can jump online to order them Or they normally go out on the streets during this kind of time Just google NZ Firefighter calendar And yeah they're 20 bucks

And also Carwen is it correct that you order You always every year It's a tradition you get one for your gran? Yeah, I think this will be like the third year. That's so horny. Yeah, she loved it the first time. Of course she does. As a little joke, as a little ha-ha.

And then last year, when we did Secret Santa last year, she was like, am I still going to get my calendar? Oh my God, amazing. And now she's moved into a retirement home and all the nurses are like, this is good, this is good stuff. Well, you buying it, last year's calendar, well, this year's calendar that was available last year raised $50,000 for Movember. So get one. Great stuff.

Just because it's charity. Yeah. That's why I've just added two to cart. Two. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Did you see, so, you know, Lady Gaga's got new music. She's got a new music video. Choreographed by our very own Paris Gable.

How cool is that? Working with Lady Gaga. Yeah, let me know. We're proud of you, Paris. Is she going to have a Facebook page back yet? Oh my God. That was one of my favourite times of Facebook. Yeah.

Paris Gable. I was like, want to see what a guy did with a chainsaw? And it was a guy carving an owl. And people being like, um, you don't need any choreography lately. Yeah. I think you've been hacked,

Tom. Oh, you might've been hacked. Um, I had one of those cries last night. It was a silent, not like, it wasn't one of those cries.

It was just one of the cries where the tears just like, so, so it rolled down your face. Yeah. Nice. And every now and then you have to go like that Was it mortgage refixing time? Oh no that is a breathy cry

Although it's not as bad as last mortgage refixing time Because I think we're going down some What caused the leaky eyes? Last night was the first Show of Indie Being Peter Pan and her show's production of Peter Pan Oh You sent us a photo I was like I felt so proud Indy being Peter Pan in her show's production of Peter Pan. Oh!

You sent us a photo and I was like, I felt so proud. I know. I was just like, oh my God, look at her. She's got the chude, the costume. I know.

And we weren't going to go last night. They all said, don't come on the first night because of... No, you never go on the first night. And you never go on the first night? No. Is that a theatre thing?

Yeah, totally. Never go on opening night. Never go on the second because then you get the second show blues. Wait, what are the second show blues. What's the way one of the second show blues? When the adrenaline and the kind of

of opening night dissipates. Look, I'm not in theatre but let's get this right from the start. Why are you dishing out two rubbish nights? People are paying good money to come to the show

and on nights one and two you're telling me it's rubbish? No. No. The last two nights always the best. What, when you've got it together? You've got it together.

Well, how about we get it together from the start? Okay, Dad. Oh, we've got a real theatre dad on our hands here. Yeah, we do. I am a theatre dad. Theatre daddy. He's theatre daddy. He's going to run the local amateur theatre.

No, I couldn't imagine anything worse. What, you love show tunes? He is a fiend for show tunes. Or is that he's never you love show tunes? He is a fiend for show tunes. For his dad, he's never heard any show tunes so he's like, what's this song

and why is everyone around me singing it? How does everyone know this song? I've never heard it before. But he always walks into the studio saying, luck be a lady tonight.

He wants us to join his chorus line of dancing. So we weren't going to go last night. And then Sade went and dropped the girls off because August is in it too. She's one of the – She's Noodler. Oh, yeah.

She's Noodler. I was like, this is not on. No, no, it's not that. It's not that equest. Yeah, right. The one where Daniel Radcliffe got naked next to one horse. She's Noodler, a pirate. Great. And Captain Hook's squad. Right.

So we weren't going to go first night because they said, don't come first night and come any time after that. God, was it rubbish? No, it was pretty, I mean, I'm extremely biased because my daughter's Peter Pan. But if you didn't have any kids at that school, would you just be like... I wouldn't go. That would be weird if a grown man

looks... He just loves the theatre. Imagine looking like me and being like, I'll go to the school hall to watch... No, but imagine you're there as a reviewer. You're the NZ Herald art reviewer. Why am I being sent to a small rural school? Because all theatre needs to be critiqued. I'd say, for their age, knock that out of the park. No,

take away for their age. Take away the bias. We're putting it up against, you know, Auckland Theatre Company's King Lear. I've never seen it. That's boring. Right, okay. Any Shakespeare.

I was tortured enough by that at school. No. I'm not going to any Shakespeare. Name a Shakespeare that's any good. Right. Richard III. Needs more music. Midsummer Night's Dream.

Let's get these school kids doing Book of Mormon. Now, I would go to that. Ha-sa-dee-ga-ee-ba-way. What? No, no, no, no. Don't sing the second bit. There is not a single song that is appropriate

from the Book of Mormon for school-aged children to be doing. I'm gonna baptise you. So, her performance made you cry? Well, just the minute.

So, it started in the curtain when we're back and she's like, Peter Pan, hands on hips, classic Peter Pan pose behind the window outside for the opening number. And I was just like, oh, it got me. And immediately I was just like, I let it run

because you can probably silently cry and it not be noticeable. But when you start wiping your face, the people are side and behind. But when she hadn't even sung anything or done anything. That was all but much. I think when I saw her name in the handout, what do you get this thing?

Program. Yeah. How much did that cost? No, nothing. Oh, it's complimentary. Because at the big theaters, you've got to pay. 20 bucks or something. Yeah, the photos.

Oh, it doesn't have all the behind. Those are like colour printed. Yeah, glossy. No, no, no, This was just on A4. I'm imagining printed on the right. She hadn't done anything and you were just already crying. I saw her name in the thing and I was like, oh. And then I saw August and I was like.

And then so they all came out and then it starts and obviously Peter Pan flies through the window. Now how'd they get that? How'd they fly? How'd they make that happen? So, so, Peter Pan comes in looking for a shadow, if you're not familiar with the story. Wendy wakes up.

There's a little bit of, shall we go to Neverland? And he's like, we'll fly there. I'll teach you how to fly. Sprinkle some fairy dust. Think of your happy thoughts. And that's what I thought. How are they going to do this? So then Indy kind of disappears.

And then on the screen in the background is a pre-recorded part where they're flying to do this. So then Indy kind of disappears and then on the screen in the background is a pre-recorded part where they're flying on blue screen. But green screen. What's Peter Pan's main costume colour? So you could see through her? No. It was a completely different costume.

Oh, okay. I've got a blue screen at home. They could have used the blue screen. The blue screen, yeah. That's okay. That's very high I've got a blue screen at home. They could have used the blue screen. The blue screen, yeah, yeah. That's okay. Well, that's very high tech for a primary school production. Yeah. Yeah, so it's pretty.

They're flying. Yeah. And on the video, mouthing, but singing live. Oh, okay. Sort of a reverse lip sync. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Interesting. Good singing, good singing.

Very, like, I might be, again Like I might be Again I might be A little bit biased here But I think She was a very good singer Got a set of pipes on her Yeah She doesn't sing at home In front of us

No of course not Even when she was Doing this Like in the lead up to it I'd be like Oh sing us the song Or do your lines and stuff She's just like

Oh well We're very proud of her too Yeah Yeah Should we go Fletch And we'll give it an honest review? Let's go next year and let's get that. What's the school called? What?

The school. Well, she won't be at that school. It's her final year. That's why she's got to leave. Oh, well, maybe that's great. Maybe their high school next year can do Book of Mormon. Well, because high school, yeah, they go a bit harder than primary. Yeah, they do the bigger ones, don't they?

I still don't think they're doing Pokemon. I still think they should. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. We love to have a lens in which to look at our own lives, right? Sometimes it's all overwhelming and we like to think of theories or ways to look at things, like the Dorito theory. Somebody's just messaged in saying when you tease this, their four-year-old thought you were talking about a Dorito fairy

and is waiting to hear how he can receive, much like the tooth fairy, Dorito fairy. Well, good morning, my darling. I believe if you put an empty plate under your pillow before you go to sleep, child listening, you wake up in the morning, it will be just filled with Doritos. Under your pillow? Under your pillow, yeah. And then later that night. Which honestly creates such a dusty mess. Such a stain on the bottom of your pillowcase. I know. That's why you don't normally put a plate under your pillow. Under your pillow, yeah. And then later that night... Which, honestly, creates such a dusty mess.

Such a stain on the bottom of your pillowcase. I know, well, that's why you don't normally put a plate under your pillow, because it does create a mess. Because the Dorito theory comes and is like, don't use your little ranch Doritos, but they're all over your white pillowcase, sorry. No, the Dorito theory, theory, is doing the rounds on TikTok,

getting millions of views. I don't even know how this started, as many things on TikTok. Okay, is it the Thai chilli flavour? Because that's my favourite, Dorito. You are basic. And cool ranch, but we don't have cool ranch. I'm so embarrassed.

Just go a cheesy one. Yeah, I will, but the Thai chilli one is the best. Sometimes do you ever find this form that you're just like, why are we mixed? Do you know what I mean? Culinary wise I struggle to understand You know me, I'm on board sometimes

I'll always hoon a cheese ball when you bring them I'll always hoon them on my feel rallies I support you a lot, but not when it comes to sweet Thai chilli Which you're like, spicy No, the Dorito theory is the idea that When you open up a bag of Doritos There's no stopping, right? You're just going, hand in Dorito in my mouth Next thing you know, you've hit a bag of Doritos, there's no stopping, right? You're just going hand in Dorito in my mouth,

hand in Dorito in my mouth. Next thing you know, you've hit the bottom of the bag. You're like, I'm still hungry. I'm not satiated. I actually am not in any way satisfied. I was just, I don't know why I was sort of mindlessly consuming them. And the Dorito theory is applying that

to the rest of your life. What are the things that we are mindlessly consuming? And we're just, cause like, that's kind of nice in the moment, but afterwards we're not left fulfilled. And this also relates to relationships. And people are reflecting on their relationships being like,

am I mindlessly consuming this relationship? Just being like, just do-do-do-do-do, going along with it. And if I stop and pause at the end, actually it hasn't like filled me up with any goodness. It hasn't actually like made me feel good. So if you apply the Dorita theory to things, the idea is you should look for things that are,

these are not my words, you should look for the things that are more like eating a steak or something high in protein that's going to make you feel really good. So I want to find a relationship that makes me feel full, satiated like you do after you eat a steak,

something, a high protein meal, and not just mindlessly snacking on a bag of Doritos. And I'm trying to think about- Steak, some lovely tatoes. You're focusing too much on the steak meal. You just said steak and I wanted to talk about the sides. But what are the

things in life that you're mindlessly consuming? It could be like what you're reading and chasing social media. Social media, that's described it to a T. So you need to replace that with a steak equivalent, like reading a book, going for a walk, maybe having a little time with people. It's not a bad theory when you break it down.

I don't know, my opinion, if we needed to call it a Dorito theory. It comes back to the fact, though, that Doritos are so yum, and this is what we're drawing back to, like we are the social media. Not everything needs to be just about yumminess because it actually doesn't fulfill your soul.

So there's the Dorito theory explained. So in the UK, one in ten Brits hate their name. Hate their name, think it doesn't match their personality, thinks that it's common or that it hasn't aged very well. So we want to know, do you hate your name? And then we're going to do a little brainstorm with you on the phone about maybe a new name that we could gift you. Okay, let's start with Stephanie. Good morning, Stephanie. Hi, how are you?

Really good. Why do you hate your name? Because that's a great name. Is there loads of Stephs around? Yeah, I think it's more because of the way it's spelled, it's always mispronounced. The P-H? Yes, I'm actually with an F and then the I's in the wrong place. So I'm always like... Steve Fanny.

Steve Fanny. Yeah, and I used to get that in primary school. Stephie was the nickname and everyone called me Fanny. And then of course the first thing, that's the first thing we went to. It shows how juvenile we are. You actually grow up. I'm so sorry about that. What's your last name? Or just if you don't want to give out

all those details, what does your last name start with? What letter? W. Oh, okay. What about Sienna? Sienna. I Sienna's quite good Because I imagine It's something like Walker Stephanie Walker

Yeah Sienna Walker Sienna Walker That's lovely It's a movie star It keeps the initial So you might be able To keep your signature Yeah yeah totally

Depending on how you Do that with SW You retain it Sienna Walker So we are changing Your last name in this Unless your last name's Walker

But you don't have to tell us Do you like Sienna Walker Yeah it's good Sienna Walker. So we are changing your last name in this, unless your last name's Walker but you don't have to tell us. Do you like Sienna Walker? Yeah, it's good. Sienna's nice, ain't she? What do you do? Can we ask what you do for a living? I'm a caregiver. Caregiver. Sienna's got a very caring demeanour

to it, doesn't it? Or Sophie's kind of, I've got a S. And it's closer to Stephanie, Sophie. But does it have to be an S? It doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. We just don't want to completely uproot her entire life. Right.

As a person, if I wanted someone to care for me, I would love, please get me sweet Sophie. Yeah. Yeah. Sophie or Sienna, which one do you want? Sienna if you want to go spicier. Sophie if you want to go softer. Yeah, we. Sophie or Sienna, which one do you want? Sienna if you want to go spicier. Sophie if you want to go softer. Yeah, we'll go with Sienna.

Sienna. You love it, don't you? She loves it. We've fixed it. Well, go forth, Sienna. There we go. S-I-E-N-N-A. Yeah.

Love me. This is great. In the name of Jesus, you are Sienna. Jocelyn, good morning. Good morning. Joc? You don't like Jocelyn, good morning. Good morning. Joc? You don't like Jocelyn. Who does?

How old are you, Joc? I'm 39. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm feeling you because the only Jocelyn I kind of grew up with would be in her 70s now. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Sorry, I'm just going to cut you off there. First time caller, very long time listener. Great. Oh, my God,. Yeah. Sorry, I'm just going to cut you off there. First time caller. Very long time listener. Great. Oh, my God, Joss. Thank you so much. Welcome. I mean, our first time interacting with you, Jocelyn. We're about to rename you.

Yeah. I feel honoured. It's intimate. It's actually quite a privilege we've got here. Do you know what I want to just go, not even knowing the last name, I'm getting a Zara buzz. Do you know who I am? I'm not wrong.

I'm getting a Zara from. Do you know who I am? I'm not wrong. I'm getting a Zara from top to bottom. Zara. She was like, I will interrupt you with that sort of like, I am Zara. I'm already but fun, cheeky Zara. Something a Zara would do. Do you know the Zara, because Jocelyn gives me the energy of being like, it's Friday night.

I've got no plans. I feel like hanging out. I'm going to give Zara a call. Zara always has a great night, whether we're doing something big or something small. It's fun with Zara. Yes, yes. Do we need to delve any deeper? No, it's Zara. I think we're happy.

Do you like Zara? Z-A-R-A. Zara's fun. Yes. Hey, look at that. Bye, Jocelyn. Hello, Zara. Yeah. Do you know what? I'm just thinking Zara. Oh, no. You could omelette that. Zara. What?

Over the last day. No, I put it on the first one. Zara. So it's Zara. No, I don't think you need it. No, but I've always wanted omelettes on my name. Yeah, I'm just, hey, I'm just omelette-ing here and there. Oh, we swore we'd chuck a couple on hers.

Why not? Thank you for your call, Zara. Daniel, good morning. Morning. Now, why Thank you. Thanks, Zara. Dania, good morning. Morning. Now, why do you hate your name? Because nobody else has it. Do you think it was supposed to be Dana? No, it's supposed to be Dania.

It's supposed to be Dania. You're right. I don't think of... I mean, I know of the name. It's rare, but it's not uncommon. Can you describe yourself a little bit, Daniela? What do you like to do for fun? I like to game.

Oh, you're a gamer. She's a gamer. Hot gamer. Why don't we go... Talia. No, that's awful. No, you don't like her. Juno?

Juno! Juno. Why don't we go after some cities, you know, like Paris. We love a city name. Like, you know, the city names are big. Beirut. She's a gamer, so it needs to be. Rotterdam.

It needs to be a tough city. Yes. Rome. Rome. No. Just Roma. No, it's two. Barcelona.

Hang on, I'm going hot city names. Barcelona. Hang on. I'm going hot city names. Vienna. World's hottest major cities. Oh, I think it's going to be temperature. Then you'll just get Madrid or something. Saudi Arabia. Yeah, so I see what I've done there.

What about Sydney? No, that's awful. I think it's also Vienna. Vienna. Vienna. I said Vienna before. No one rains an eyebrow. No one rains an eyebrow.

I don't think you sold it. I think Savannah. Savannah. Oh, I like that. I said Vienna before No one raised an eyebrow I don't think you sold it Savannah Oh I like that Savannah You're kind of keeping the A's Savannah Sounds a bit Australian though But so does Dania

Does Savannah go with your last name? No What's your last name? No. Oh, wait, what's your last name? My last name's Harkins. Harkins. Oh. That is a brilliant last name. That's such a good last name.

Harkins is wasted on Daniel. Okay, we're going to have to go back to the drawing board. Juno Harkins. Juno does go well with it. Yeah, yeah. Stunning. Juno Harkins. That's like a movie star name.

Zuri? What about Zuri? No, Zuri Harkins. No, that. Stunning. Juno Harkins. That's like a movie star name. Zuri? What about Zuri? No, Zuri Harkins. No, that's Zuru. Oh, okay. But you're right. It's a bit close.

Juno Harkins. I don't think we can do better than... Sable Harkins. Sable Harkins. Sable. Sable. No, we're not going from Daniel to Juno. Do you like Juno, Daniel?

Is it the name or the movie? Oh, yeah. She's really thought about this. What about, like, it doesn't have to be spicy. Claire Harkins. That's quite a good name. Claire. Claire.

I mean, it's just done, though, isn't it? So many people are Claire. Aria. Felicity. Aria Harkins. Or Harper Harkins. Oh, Harper Harkins. Harper Harkins is fun. Okay, I like the alliteration.

Yeah. And it also has a big like... It's been a popular name. If you're into gaming, superheroes often have their first and last name starts with the same letter. Okay, so let's go with age. Harper, Heidi, Hayley, Harkins. Heidi Harkins could be. Heidi.

Are you liking any of those, Daniel? Quite a few are coming in suggestions from our listeners. Oh, you're lovely. Beth Harkins. Heidi Harkins could be. Heidi. Are you liking any of those, Daniel? Quite a few are coming in suggestions from our listeners. Oh, you're lovely. Beth Harkins. Beth. Lara Harkins. Portia Harkins. Zoe Harkins.

Oh, Zoe Harkins. That's brilliant. You're a Zoe Harkins, Daniel. Zoe was on my list for my daughter's name. Zoe Harkins. It's Zoe Harkins. It's your new name now, Daniel. Zoe Harkins. Love it. Yeah. Destiny Harkins. I'll change my daughter's name. Zoe Harkins. It's Zoe Harkins. It's your new name now, Daniel. Zoe Harkins.

Love it. Yeah. Destiny Harkins. I'll change my gamer tag then. Yeah. Destiny Harkins. No, the church. No, that's trash.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's been ruined by the church. It sounds like your destiny is Harkin. I know. Yeah, yeah. Zoe Harkins. I think Zoe Harkins would nail that.

Yeah, that's nice, actually. Thank you so much for calling in, Zoe. And it's a gamer name, too. Yeah, it is. Zoe Harkins. Thanks, Daniel. No. Sorry, Zoe, I shouldins. Zoe Harkins. Yeah, that's nice, actually. Thank you so much for calling in, Zoe. And it's a gamer name, too. Yeah, it is. Zoe Harkins. Thanks, Dania. No. Sorry, Zoe, I should say.

Zoe. Zoe Harkins. Someone messaged in saying, now, I just heard my name rejected as a name. You said Talia was a terrible name. Now, that's my name. Do I need to call in for a new name? Well, no, but if you love your name,

that's all that matters, isn't it? Yeah, we're specifically talking to people who don't like their names. Tali is very 90s, isn't it? Is that 90s? Yeah. Yeah. Knew a few of them. See, someone said I hate my name Alex.

It's always assumed that I'm a boy. I love boys' names on girls. Like Bruce. Alex, Sam, Kevin, Bruce, Martin, Keith. Yeah, Keith. Keith. Keith Ruffay. See, Keith. Yeah, Keith. Keith Raffae. See what Keith was wearing last week.

She was really showing off her hourglass shape. Damn, the rack on Keith. Yeah, yo! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's flag week part two because we're doing two short weeks. I was like, there's so many flag facts. It seems a waste to just do one short week on flags.

Why not do two? Do two? And there's still enough that maybe again in the future. I think the nautical gin flag so far has been my favourite. The gin pennant. Me too. Did you order a gin pennant? No, I didn't in the end. I think I really want to find one that has more of a vintage feel. Right. Like a good kind of slightly yellowed white with some

embroidery. So I might have to custom order that. Yeah, well. But it will be flying. I am looking forward to seeing it. And I might have to custom order that. But it will be flying. I am looking forward to seeing it. And I've had a few people with message and flagpole suggestions for me. Okay. Are you going to get a flag fletch? Because you could put yours out the apartment window. You've got no idea. It's against the apartment

rules. Boo. Bodycore. Down with the bodycore. It's so cool when you see everyone hanging their washing and towels off the balconies. Oh, actually, yeah. I actually really like that. Yeah, let's have some rules and some, you know. As long as they're on one of those, like, well-made clothes horses.

You know how every clothes horse is so fantastic. I like when you, you know, when you walk down an alley in, like, Italy and they have them hanging on the, that's cool. That's cool. Clothes lines between the buildings. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. Closed lines between the buildings. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. You could do one all the way across that major intersection to that other one.

What, with his undies? No, I don't want him... My undies will fall off onto a bus or something. Yeah, how embarrassing. And you know he names all his undies and stitches them in one of those little labels. Yeah, and then you get smog in your gruts. Yeah.

City smog in the gruts. No good. Well, today's fact of the day is there is an Iranian factory in the Iranian city of Khomein that produces US and Israeli flags specifically for protesters to burn them. Amazing. Oh, my God. The Dibbapacham factory is Iran's largest flag manufacturer.

Don't apologize. Wow. Do you know what? I knew over this fortnight that one day you'll drop the L by accident. Somebody messaged me saying you came

perilously close to missing the L Also the worst place to be one of those. Absolutely. So, and it's been on my mind ever since

last week when they said just really hit that L in flag. That's alright. And I missed one and I so apologise, that's so inappropriate. The largest flag manufacturer. You used to be in LA too. Yeah, that's actually really... Well, tomorrow I've got a great fact about the rainbow flag. Oh, great.

So stay tuned. So that'll redeem it. They manufacture 2,000 flags a month. Now a lot of the flags they make are the Iranian flag. He's really working his mouth, isn't he? Flag. The tongue has to go from the tongue. Flag.

Flag. From the top of the mouth to the bottom. So, stop it. Keep digging that hole. You're being naughty. You're being very naughty. So, they don't make any other flags. Right.

Only flags to burn. No, no, no. They make the Iranian flag. Yep. Th other flags. Right. Only flags to burn. No, no, no. They make the Iranian flag. Yep. Thumbs up. Yep. But the flags they make and print of the US flag or the Israeli flag, primarily for burning.

So do they use a different fabric that burns better? Like an easily flammable one? Or is that on the consumer, the buyer, to add some propellant? Yeah. I believe it's on the, it's the same stuff they make all of their flags out of. Right. It just happens to be a flammable material. Oh God.

So that's. Side note, in the US like constitution and rules about the flag, the best way to dispose of an old flag is to burn it. Oh. So it can't fall into the wrong hands. Oh. So you know when you see people burning a US flag

and they're like, that's sacrilege. That's actually the preferred way of disposing of an old flag. But maybe not filming it and being like, down with USA. Screw you. I mean, we may see some of that in the coming weeks. We could. Oh, God. We really could.

So today's fact of the day, or flack of the day. Today's flack of the day. Every word that starts with F now has got to have an L after it. That's the flacking rules. I get close. So today's flack of the day is there is a flag flactory in Iran, especially that makes US and Israeli flags for burning and protests. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Fletch like three seconds ago This place has been around since 2022 I'm like, what is he going to We're not talking about what I think we're talking about And he's still going on about this Mexican place He's still at this Mexican place And neither of us are attending

I don't know why he's on and on about it You know I love Mexico How dare there be a Mexican restaurant I haven't heard of For like two and a half years. Truly one of the best cuisines. Absolutely one of the finest cuisines. It certainly is. And happy Taco Tuesday to those who celebrate.

That was a sidebar, but yeah, happy Taco Tuesday. So, hey, we have got... Big muscles, cute smiles, and a great attitude. And a booty to boot. A booty to boot. A booty to boot. We do have all those things, but me and Aaron also have one month until our final code of compliance certificate,

sign off from council, house is quote unquote done thing. And this is three years in the making. The race is on. We wrote a list of the final to-dos and it's long. Permission for a slight digression? Please. I was contacted by the Cortese Sproul household asking if we had any room for Phil.

Now, Phil is where you dig something up and you've got all the stuff like dirt, crap, grass and stuff. Oh, you don't say yes to that because you end up with people. Baby, baby, baby, baby. I've got big holes to fill. So I'm excited about this Phil. Aaron'saron's like i'm gonna bring it around friday i was like sweet as and he's like i've been caught up can i come around saturday i was like we're not home but you know how to get in let yourself in where you want me to dump it i said behind the shed

yep i get home i'm to be honest we're away i'm coming back one of the main things i'm excited about getting home for i'm gonna get this fill really we thought you we were like oh god we're just taking our stuff we're dumping it there I got places to put this fill

I get in unpack the car and I'm like I'm gonna rush around the back of the shed see my fill and I rush around the back of the shed

and I'm like where's my fill it was like this tiny little dust pile I wanted a truckload of fill you could have dumped that anywhere.

No, no, no. There's more coming. You could have just driven on State Highway 1 real fast. And eventually it would have all blown up. It would have blown up. No, there's more coming. We've got more film. I'm looking forward to this film.

It's just that he was working on his own on Saturday. And then I think he just tapped out. Anyway. Right. So he dumped there. A lot of work happening. I got home on Sunday from tour. And it was on.

We had brother-in-law. We had our friend filling things. Ticking off the to-do list before council. I'm in there. I got home on Sunday from tour and it was on. We had brother in law, we had our friend filling things, ticking off the to-do list before council. I'm in there. I'm working. I'm contributing. What do you do? I'm raking the soil, making sure it's all flat and getting ready for our patio and stuff. Great day. And then me and Aaron sit down at the end

and we're like, right, we're going to get there. We're going to make it. Here's the things to do. He's like, I'm just going to get up. I'll jump up and grab us a little glass of wine. Wine in moderation, of course. He goes out, I'm just going to get up. I'll jump up and grab us a little glass of wine. One in moderation, of course. He goes out, catches his foot on a chair and breaks two toes. Now, these are two toes that he has broken. I think this is the fifth time. So he really busted them a few years ago,

and now they're just willy-nilly. They could amputate these. Yep. That's been suggested. That could be the point of amputation. It's been suggested because he minced them. He dropped a coffee table on it. I don't know what to say.

He just minced them up. Also, this is a man that does a lot of like DIY and stuff and a pair of McDonald's novelty Crocs. Yeah. It's his renovation show of choice. I'm like, my king, you need some steel caps.

He's got them. He just doesn't like them. He likes his Crocs. He likes his nonny's Crocs. So he's broken his toes. I hear curse words aplenty, right? And then just like- Was he in his Crocs or was he in bare feet? Bare feet. He must have been in bare feet. So he's broken his toes. I hear curse words aplenty, right? And then just like- Was he in his crocs or was he in bare feet?

He must have been in bare feet. No shoes in the house. Okay. And I really want to reinforce that when you come around. That's new wooden floors, new carpets. It's a light rule. No, no shoes in the house. It's like my Biff Aaron catches off room trouble.

Anyway, so he's broken two of his toes. He's just gutted, goes to bed, wakes up in the morning. Let's go to A&A. You know, I've got to have it looked at, x-rays, yep broken, huge moon boot, they give him one like up to the knee for these two broken toes, it's embarrassing six weeks, we've got stuff, we're up

ladders, we've got building work to do we've got a lot of stuff, he's going to be going up ladders in his moon boot isn't he, no, he said to me over to you my love I've got to mask it up, I started off mowed the lawns yesterday. Boom. First job done, daddy.

Here we go. Now I've got to get up. I've got to clean gutters. I've got to get up on a ladder and I've got to clean out some gutters. This is the mask stuff. You know what you've got to watch on the gutters? What do you want me to watch? As someone that's man to man, tell me man to man.

First of all, how dirty are the gutters? Because I've got a wand. Do you want to borrow the wand? I'll take a wand. I've also got a wand, but I wouldn't are the gutters? Because I've got a wand. Do you want to borrow the wand? I'll take a wand. I've also got a wand, but I wouldn't clean the gutters with it. It's a long stick with a hook and a spray spout. Your mind's got a bit of a hook sort of in. You've got a hook and a spray spout?

Yeah, not a spray spout. And so you just put the hose in and you walk around. Oh, that's pretty cool. Pushing all the junk down the gutter. But if you're getting up there, if there's leaves in the gutters and you're getting fingers in the gutters, the sharp end of the tin getting your hand in the gutter, you'll cut yourself up.

Well, this is great. I'm going to go get my nails shortened because I'm getting a real mask on this. Are you going to see me cruising around with my short fingernails and my BT-50 and I tell you, rumours will fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll be like, finally. I'm taking over the mask's jobs. He's on the things like doing the little stuff that I would do with his broken foot.

And now you're up ladders. Boom. I'm feeling it. Join us in a couple of days when Hayley recounts going to the A&E. No! Falling off a ladder while trying to clean the gutters. We can't. We've got one month to get this done.

And I am. I'm stepping up to the masculine. I will fill about with a little Prosecco afterwards. In moderation, of course. Just one. Afterwards. Yeah. I mean, that's what broke the toes. So maybe lay off that. Going to a little Prosecco afterwards. In moderation, of course. Just one. Afterwards. Yeah, I mean, that's what broke the toes, so maybe lay off that.

Go and fetch a Prosecco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Christmas doth approach. You just said before, 49 days. Yep, 49 days. 15 hours, say kind of 50.

Should we settle on 50? It's going fast. We'll agree on 50. Settle on 50. We can all agree on 50. 50 once, 50 twice. Round it to 50. 50 sold.

Sold to 50. And of course, we get Santa first because we live in the future. Yes. Yeah, we do. We do. And I'm this year planning on heisting Santa's sleigh. Are you? And stealing all the presents.

But then the rest of the world won't get any. That's so mean, you Grinch. You can't do that. Don't worry, everyone. We will prevent this from happening. And a classic Christmas story. Yes. So on the time we've got off over Christmas,

we're thinking we'll once again reignite the Christmas cocktail special, which is where we, in moderation, of course. Yes, in moderation. Enjoy some Christmas drinks and do sometimes up to three weeks worth of podcasts. I will say. In one sitting. Unheard of. I had such moderation the first time that we did this,

that I've been involved in it. But I still have a scar on my knee from all the moderation. That's right. From when you got out of the Uber. Yeah, yeah. And my moderation, look, there it is. It's still there. You moderated hard.

I moderated so hard that I fell out of the Uber and graveled my knee. So similar to the last couple, we did the mid-winter Christmas cocktail special. Yep. And last Christmas, the Christmas cocktail special, it's back. Yeah. This Christmas cocktail special. If you don't listen to the podcast, you listen to the live radio program, you might be thinking, what is it?

Yeah. Well, there's a series of podcasts. That's in the name. It's around Christmas, also in the name. We enjoy some cocktails. In moderation, of course, that's in the name. But we just get a bit lost in the moment, really. It's like as the episodes go on, it gets a bit more lost.

With the best intention. We hear from you, the listener, about your year. We have a questionnaire that we send out so that we're all prepped. And you can find that at ZM Online forward slash cocktail special. One word, cocktail special. Cocktail special. We did contemplate putting a dash in there. We did.

And we thought, let's not do a dash because it will take too long to explain. But what I've actually done is just explain that we don't need to. Because we didn't want to have to say forward slash or dash. But now you've actually just taken the same amount of time. We probably didn't have to change the URL after all that. Now, Carwen's nodding because she put the dash in and we said, can you remove the dash? I remember you saying it will take too long to explain the dash.

So there's no dash. And people will write cocktail dash, D-A-S-H, special, and it won't work, and then they'll be like, I can't be bothered. That's not a dash, that's a hyphen. That is a hyphen. Yeah, that is. So to avoid all of that and the unnecessary time spent explaining it, we decided not to put it in.

So it's www.http://www.zmonline.com. No, you didn't say.com. Start right from the start. Sorry, let me do it. http://www.zmonline.com forward slash, that's leaning to the right, head to the right, cocktail special. Correct.

No dash. Somebody's probably just spelt out head to the right. Zmonline.com slash cocktail special. That's how we say it. No dash in the middle because it's going to take too long to explain the dash. You can text as one word cocktail special to 9696. We'll fire you back a link

and then you fill out a little questionnaire and we read those out during our cocktail special over the Christmas holidays. cocktail special to 9696. Is it cocktail dash special?

No, just one word. One word. So when you go to the URL it's cocktail special. When you text in it's also one word. It's forward slash dash

cocktail dash forward slash dot and then that squiggly one Tilled No you're not Tilled Exclamation mark zero zero I don't know if anybody's going to find this now to be honest

But you fill out our questionnaire We'll ask you a bunch of questions And that's what we read out during our cocktail special We have some beautiful moderate Some of the questions Tell us your Christmas card message To the other podcast listeners Or to the world

To the world Just shouting to the other To your loved ones What's the nicest thing that happened to you this year? What was the naughtiest moment of the year? And anything else you want to tell us about from 2024? Just to confirm, when you text in 9696 cocktail special, one word as it is in the URL.

If you go cocktail space special as it would be written, say in a book, it will not get through. I think we've avoided any confusion here. And it actually was so quick, took no time at all to explain. Clear and concise. Yep. Much like these podcasts will be. Yes.

Play ZM. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy I'm just reading what's written here