ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 5th September 2023

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Liquid Soap  Top 6: Ford Ranger  Silly Little Poll!  Wet/Dry People  Fletch's Apology  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Hayley joins us from a, I believe, a Wellington studio. Yes, indeed. A studio with a beautiful king bed behind it.

Wouldn't that be nice in our studio? A king bed. Just for naps. For a little lie on. Yeah. I don't know, I see all these new podcasts, everybody's sitting on a couch. I don't know why we're still sitting beside this hard form Micah desk.

Yeah. We should be on couches. Yeah, I think we can evolve as a show. No, I think we get up too early. I'd snooze. I couldn't. You need to be erectus at this time. But I'm in Wellington.

I had a great show at the Michael Fowler last night, one of my favourite venues. You were on the Seven Days Tour in Invercargill tonight? Invercargill tonight. Good morning to our Invercargill listeners. Can't wait to be there. I hope you've got your puffy jacket. This is going to be gold.

Yeah, I do. I've got my sheepskin lined guy. She's ready. She's prepared to be gold. Yeah, I do. I've got my sheepskin lined guy. She's ready. She's prepared. Was that your leather jacket? Yes. Yeah, I didn't bring a puffer. Not enough suitcase room.

Well, the high today is 15 degrees in Invercargill. What? Oh, fine. Tomorrow it's going to be 17. Oh, that's all good. Oh, absolutely fine. That's balmy. That's tropical.

Oh, currently two degrees. Yeah. What's going on there in Victoria? Soon on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six signs that the Ford Ranger was the best new selling car in August. It was apparently a pretty slow month for new car sales. Right. But the obnoxious Ford Ranger

was the top. Why don't you like those? I think they're cool. I'd have one of those. I think they're cool too, but they're just expensive. Oh, I just think it's the sort of person that drives one that's probably more of the problem than the vehicle itself. Okay. It sounds like someone's jealous they don't have a Ford. When there's an arsehole,

it's 85% chance it's a Ford Ranger doing the activities. Yeah, but that's only because the Jimneys that you drive, the Suzuki Jimny, doesn't go past 85. Well, I get out of the way. I get out of the way. You don't get out of the way, though, Vaughan. You don't. Well, I can't get out of the way. You stay in the fast lane too long.

You're so far up my arse, and the person on the left lane, they're going the same speed as me. I literally have nowhere to go because you're so close behind me. I can't drop in behind the person behind me. Don't start in the fast lane. Get out from the start. It's my only chance. Well, the top six,

what is this dealing with? The top six, well, I've already told you. I won't say it again. No, what? I already told you. He wasn't clear enough. He wasn't clear enough, was he?

No. What is the top six? It was the top six signs that the Ford Ranger was the best-selling car in August. No, he said it was the best-selling car in August, but then he didn't say what the top six was. No, I said the top six signs it was

the best-selling car in August. I said it. He wasn't clear. You guys have got to listen. You're losing your minds. Now that it's been cleared up... This wouldn't happen if we were sitting on a couch, comfortably relaxing and listening to our friend talk. Taylor Swift tickets again today. It's your last week.

The last few days. So make sure you're listening at 8, midday and 4 for those Taylor Swift songs to be in to win. Next on the show, a woman's gone viral for something she's done at a supermarket. This is in America. I think this is genius. I'll say it now, genius, but

I think it's shoplifting. Do you? I think it's shoplifting. Interesting. Well, a woman in the USA has caused a bit of controversy. It's gone viral on TikTok. She is at a Walmart, which is like, for those that don't know,

I guess being at the warehouse or Kmart. Kmart or a warehouse. But they sell groceries. They sell lots of things. They sell everything. And guns. Everything you can imagine. Have you been into a Walmart? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's where you got your Dolly Parton t-shirt from. Yeah, I got an $8 Dolly Parton t-shirt from. Do not put it in the dryer.

Is that an excuse? No, no, no, no, no. The minute you pick the material out, you're like, oh, this is $8 Dolly Parton T-shirt from Do Not Put It In The Dryer. Is that an excuse? Do not, never. No, no, no, no, no. The minute you pick the material out, you're like, oh, this is $8 for a reason. This must never see the dryer. Yeah, okay. Ignore a hot wash.

I reckon don't wash it, Vaughan. Don't wash, yeah. Don't wash. Don't wash it ever. Wash it in a river on some rocks. Yeah, they're wild places. Now, the TikTok that's gone viral shows a woman with like a big Container of liquid soap

The kind of soap you'd put into A fancy A-soap container Yeah I was going to say Is it cheap soap? Yeah it looks like cheap soap Dawn Dawn is a great That is a phenomenal dish soap

And it makes the best bubbles Like if you were going to put it in a bubble wand, it makes phenomenal bubbles. I feel like it'll really aggravate my eczema in between my fingers. It probably will. You know, it's got that vibe. It'll strip the skin. Yeah, well, it's very pink, this stuff that I'm looking at.

So she claims this woman that she's getting ripped off buying a giant bottle, which looks like maybe a litre and a half a litre of soap and there's a big like maybe an inch and a half gap at the top so she opens another bottle and pours in the liquid

soap to the tippity top puts the lid on and then buys that bottle. I know I don't think you're about to do that. Yeah mate do it. Why not? You are not. It is 100% shoplifting. I don't think that's it. guy. Yeah, mate, do it. Why not? You are not. It is 100% shoplifting. I don't think that's it. Because as people are pointing out in the comment section, there's an air gap for a reason.

What's the reason? In case you take it on an airplane? No, because apparently during transportation, the air kind of helps it. Otherwise, they just pop and bubble everywhere. Yeah, too much. And people saying you're paying for the volume. They fill it and weigh it.

So whatever the liquid or the volume is they say on the container, that's what you're getting. Yes. The machine at the factory pumps the right amount in. Sometimes. Sometimes I don't think I'm getting my 400 mil, you know. Yeah, but are you measuring?

Are you checking? I guess we don't check, do we? I've got a way more exciting life than measuring my liquids, I'll be honest. Yeah. And I mean, she's probably doing it to get, what, like 20, 30 cents more soap. Couple of pumps, though.

That's a couple of washers. That's a couple of big pot washers. It is. It's a couple of washers, I guess, yeah. Good for her. But I would say do not do this. So she put the video of herself doing this online. It wasn't somebody else's video. She's like, check guess, yeah. But I would say do not do this. So she put the video of herself doing this online. It wasn't somebody else's video.

She's like, check out this woman. Yeah, she's literally evidenced her crime. She's contaminated herself. She's contentious. Wow. I mean, because the only problem is that it leaves someone shorthanded, right? Well, yeah, the next person, what are they going to buy a bottle with an inch less size?

It's a ripple effect because they'll have to top up from another bottle and then another bottle, another bottle. And there's wastage each time you do it. So I get that it's not good. Yeah. I'm inspired. 12 past 6. I'm inspired by it. Soon on the show, the top sucks, but not next.

Yeah. Soon on the show. I just need to remind you because you both, I told you three times last time. Well, you weren't clear about. What's he doing again? Something about plants? Yeah, he's doing something about plants. Something about plants.

No, it's about the Ford Ranger. The Ford Ranger was the best-selling new car in August this year. It just wasn't clear. It was a slow month for new cars. Okay, right. The top six signs are wars. I still feel like I'm not clear on what it is. Okay, well, it's coming up apparently.

Yeah, we'll say something. Now, apparently, up next, a lot of people, the cost of living is impacting a lot of people, and it's coming for our love lives. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. I believe lots of dating apps do this. Bumble definitely does. They do their sex index every year.

We've definitely talked about it before, haven't we? They do stats of like how are we dating and who are we dating and how's it going and whatnot. Great stats. Perhaps I'll scatter them throughout the week. Okay. Because one of the things they looked at, I love this, single and can't afford to mingle,

is how the cost of living is impacting our dating life. And the obvious one, right, is like we don't have as much money because life costs more and so we can't afford to go on nice big lavish dinner dates anymore. So people are doing boring things like walks in the park, like, you know, sober yoga classes and all that kind of Yeah I don't need to see People don't need to be seeing me sweaty And stretching in a park doing yoga I really don't

They really, really don't Not early on You save that You save the sweatiness It's not even sexy sweaty It's just manky like Pongy sweaty But some of just manky, like, pongy sweaty. But some of the other stats are really, really interesting,

like how the cost of living is affecting dating. One of the stats said 65% of young singles can't afford to move out of their family home, which obviously has resulted in a far less exciting and vigorous sex life. Because if you meet someone and you want to go home with them, you can't. Absolutely.

Unless your parents are okay with you bringing people home. Did you guys ever, I mean, because I didn't date, so to speak, when I was still living under my parents' roof. No, neither. So I never had to bring someone home. Were you allowed to bring people back to the caravan, Vaughan? I didn't ask. You didn't ask? I just took them home, man.

Oh, you're a bad boy. Yeah. Another side of it is the psychological impact of the cost of living. So people more strained, more stressed, and the biggest psychological killer of arousal is stress strained, more stressed, and the biggest psychological killer of arousal is stress.

Yeah, right. So people are just not getting down to funky town because they're just like, oh my god, I've got to think about the mortgage, I've got to have this. Nothing's sexy about having a conversation with your partner about how you're going to pay rent that week. Yeah, you're not going to get straight into it after that, are you? Although maybe your solution

to how you're going to pay rent is finally launching that. Only fans you've been talking about. And then your partner could be like, oh, this is a bit sexy. They could be a photographer. Yeah, okay, yeah, right. Well, you know I've been thinking about it.

You just know I've been thinking about it. Well, you've got those sexy feet, don't you? I do, do, long toes. And then another one is that, you know, people in long-term relationships are having more strain on their sex life and their dating life because people are losing their jobs. And so they're going, oh, now I've got to cover you a little bit more, and that's leaving me financially strained, and I can't do my fun activities that I like to do on my own that don't involve you. Yeah.

And it's just putting a lot of strain on us in general. You basically also just described having children. Oh, my God. I said this to Josh Thompson yesterday because he was just in a real loving moment with his kids. His kids are so cute. He just kept being like, look at that. That's so cute.

I was like, yeah, cute. I was like, are they annoying though? He's like, oh, yeah. Very expensive. They were really annoying. Annoying and expensive. They pulled the shit you certainly wouldn't put up with from any friends. Oh, thank God they're

cute. If your friends behave like your children, you definitely need new friends. No need convincing me. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley

from the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. New car sales a little slower in August. That's because no one's got any money. Yeah, that's that.

That's basically it, isn't it? That's it, I reckon. Yeah. Well, at the top of the list is the Ford Ranger, the Ute. Despite the fact that this month also saw the Ford Ranger recalled over a sudden stop issue. That's right. Well, it just suddenly stopped. So the Ford Ranger and the Ford Everest, which is an SUV version of the Ranger, basically.

Yeah. There's a battery issue. And if you're going at, like, walking pace, it'll just pop itself into park. Oh, I hate that. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah.

If a battery drops below some critical threshold, it will just be like, oh, I need to be in park. Blop. Drop you into park. Right. And you can be like, bleh. Too smart for its own good sometimes, these cars. It's like the ones that yank you back into the lane.

You're like, leave me alone. Oh, yeah. Sometimes that's a little. I didn't want to indicate. Yeah. I want to drive off the road. Calm down. Yeah.

I'm a free woman. I can do what I want. Don't tell me what to do. I was driving into our garage the other day, and the car was like, avoid crash, and just slammed on the brakes. I was just slowly going into the garage. Everybody just needs to calm down.

So first was Ford Ranger. Second was RAV4, the Toyota RAV4. Great to see the RAV4 back in the top ten. Then the Hilux was third. Right. Then the Outlander, the Mitsubishi Outlander, the E4 back in the top 10. Then the Hilux was third. Right. Then the Outlander, the Mitsubishi Outlander, the Eclipse Cross, the Ford Everest. For your mum that also wants to... Be a bit adventurous, maybe.

Bump other cars in the car park. The Seltos, the Swift, yeah. But I've got the top six signs that the Ford Ranger was the highest selling new car this month Number six on the list There's literally one up your ass right now Check your rear view mirror Yep If you're in your car

One is following you so closely You can't even see it's another plate It is classic Right up there If you slam on your brakes It's going to cut you in half Number five on the list Of the top six signs

The Ford Ranger was the highest selling new car last month. Check the next mobility park parking spot you see. There'll be one in there. No label to say they need to park there, but they'll be parked there. Why don't you wrongly am I? Prove it. Prove it.

Number four on the list. Number four on the list of the top six signs the Ford Ranger was a high selling new car last month. The tradie that shows up late, if he shows up at all, is driving a shiny new one. Oh, yeah. That hurts. So, Winston, you know when a tradie has a brand new van or ute? You're just like, you charge too much.

Do you know that is literally like, in small towns, if the painter who has been painting forever, who drives a 1983 Mitsubishi Delica, covered in paint, gets a new van, everyone's like, no, don't hire him, he charges too much. So the guy's had the same van for 30, 40 years, finally upgrades, worked hard, deserves it. Everyone's like, no, no, he's obviously charging too much. Yeah, charging too much. You better just have a work van. Have a she-old van and have a nice car at home that no one sees you drive.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs the Ford Ranger is the highest selling new car last month. If you're on a bike, there's one behind you, there's one in front of you, and there's one on each side of you. They're all screaming at you and you're in the bike lane. That's happening right now in every major city in the country. I'll put money on it. I'll put money on it.

Yeah. Number two on the list are the top six signs their Ford Ranger was a high-selling new car last month. There's one in your supermarket car park parked on an angle taking up two spaces when there's no other parking spaces. Yeah, but they're girthy. No, he's on an angle.

No, they fit in the lines. They fit in the lines. I'm going to brew a few on that one. Are they're girthy. No, he's on an angle. No, they fit in the lines. They fit in the lines. I'm going to brew a few on that one. Are they just like... And number one on the list of the top six signs the Ford Ranger was the highest selling new car last month. Your farmer mate just upgraded to

a new one and you said to him, didn't you just get a new one? And he said, oh, I just upgraded because it made sense tax-wise. Tax-wise. Right. A lot of things make sense tax-wise when you're a farmer. It sense tax-wise. Tax-wise. Right. A lot of things make sense tax-wise when you're a farmer. It's tax-wise. That's today's top six. Play

ZM's Fletch Vodanale. Play ZM. Here's something a bit miserable for you, and I do apologise in advance. Yep. Apparently, according to a survey, 46% of us are bored at work at least three days of the work week. Totally bored. Monotony.

Right. They're just over it. I mean, I think we're quite lucky because we work short. I don't speak for me. I'm bored now. Okay, right. I've been bored three days of the working week so far and we're only up to Tuesday. Are you bored?

I'm bored. Well, if I was there, I've got a solution. I came up week so far and we're only up to Tuesday. Are you bored? I'm bored. Well, if I was there, I've got a solution. I came up with a really great game yesterday. Right, this is going to solve workplace boredom. Yeah, so, because as you know, I'm on the Seven Days Live tour with a bunch of great Kiwi comedians. And I was sitting at the desk next to Paul Ego and I had some chips because I was hungry.

Snack-a-changies. Oh, God, they're the best chips. Which one, though? She would have gone sour cream and chives. No, I didn't get to choose because it's on the rider. It was just ready salted. Oh! I know, but I was hungry for chips.

Snack-a-changies should have made a hard stand against ready salted. Yeah. And we've just not done one. Yeah, good. Controversial. Anyway, so the game is pick up chips. And you remember the great childhood game of pick up sticks in which you tip out some sticks and you've got to pick up a stick

without moving any of the other sticks. Same theory. You pour yourself a nice handful of chips. Yeah. And then one by one you each take a chip. If you get the chip without the other chips moving, you get to eat the chip. But then what if you don't?

If you move the other chips, you have to put it back. Yeah, you've got to take your fingers off. You've got to wash your hands first. So everyone has to wash their hands. Everyone's had a little finger on the chip. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a game you play amongst friends. Shouldn't it be on a plate?

Not your hand? My hand's the plate. We were born with these plates. These beautiful plates at the end of our arms. We were born with plates in cutlery. I also find your chest is a pretty good plate when you're lying on your back. Oh yeah, okay. No, but I've got big baps in the way.

You can put them between. No, that's going to be a sweaty chip now. That's going to be a sweaty chip. I don't know if you've thought this game through. I really think it's a good game. We played it for a long time because when we do sound check, it gets a bit boring. Right.

So we just play pick up chips. So this could be the way to solve boredom at work. It's not the way. I've solved it. You're bored at work. It's not the way I've solved it. You're bored at work, you get yourself a nice bag of chips. I thought a better way to cure boredom at work would have been as soon as you've finished your work, you can go home. Yes.

Oh, my God. Imagine how efficient. If all you had to do was prove that you were done your day, you were finished your day, you'd done your work. Yep. And then you could go. Any compulsory business had to happen between the hours of 9 and 11.

Well, that was what I was going to say. You're always waiting for someone else at work to do their thing before you can do the next thing. Like meetings, everything compulsory. What a great idea. Or like phone calls. I mean, maybe it gets diverted to your cell phone so you can still deal with stuff, but you don't have to be there. Yeah, right. I mean, maybe it gets diverted to your cell phone so you can still deal with

stuff but you don't have to be there. Yeah, right. I'd work so hard. It wouldn't matter for us as well. Imagine if we could

deliver the same amount of entertainment in 30 minutes than we could in this three hour show. Man, we'd just jam at that 30

and we'd be out of here. three hours. I'm exhausted. We would literally just talk. Talk for 30 minutes. Not put in any songs. Right, and then just go home. Just talk. We'd be out of here. Three hours. I'm exhausted. We would literally just talk. Talk for 30 minutes. Not put in any songs.

Right, and then just go home. Just talk. We'd be like, oh, this lady's filled up liquid soap. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Have you guys heard young people can't afford to date anymore? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Top six reasons. It's a bit much.

Never stop. Never stop. Never stop. Never stop. And then we'd be done by like 7.30, I reckon. But then what's going to happen in call centres? When we're all home for the day and we need to call insurance or the airline or whoever, they've all gone home.

You can't, between the hours of 9 and 11. It has to be between 9 and 11. We've sorted the work week. I'm working. Squeeze it in. We'll do it in the ad break. You'll be alright. Between 9 and 5 anyway.

This is just a smaller window. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Pailly little pole. Silly little pole. Paid for your wedding. Options. My partner and I. The parents. Or a combination of both.

Okay. Where do you want to start? The lowest results? Yep. The parents. 8% of people. Yeah, it's quite an old-fashioned thing now, isn't it? That the father of the bride pays. Was how

tradition originally went? 37%, so the second most popular is my partner and I but the most popular is a combination of the both. 54%. Oh, okay. There was money chucked in from a bit of everybody. Yeah, right. So, yeah, that's how we did it. I would have

thought a lot more from the parents. Okay. You would have thought more? Yeah. Yeah, right. So, yeah, that's how we did it. I would have thought a lot more from the parents. Okay. You would have thought more people, yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe it is, but it's like those stories in the New Zealand Herald about a young couple buying a home with no help, and then you get to the third paragraph, and you realise they had like $180,000 inheritance from someone. Yeah, yeah.

And they're like, we did it on our own. It's like, well, did you? It was hard. I feel like my parents definitely wouldn't pay for my wedding when the time comes. But definitely I feel like they'd chip in in ways, you know, like that help out. They've already said that Vaughan and I can stay at their house

when your wedding's happening. Are you talking to my mum? We haven't settled on the guest list. It's going to be very small. Patsy is excited. Patsy and Craig are excited. I thought it was very nice for Patsy to say Indian August could be flower girls. Yes,

that was lovely. Because I said I think they were a bit old and she said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No, no, it's no kids. Oh, no, because they were bringing a couple of friends each as well. No kids. To really pack out the... No, I'm with Hayley on this. No kids. No kids.

Yeah. Okay, so there's feedback. Ashley said, I haven't been married yet. I'm with Hayley on this No kids No kids Yeah Okay some feedback Ashley said I haven't been married yet It's not till February 2025 But yeah my partner and I Are paying for it all Yeah good Okay

Lisa Is this grumpy Lisa Is this grumpy Lisa I don't know Is the message grumpy Is she irate You know what It is

It's grumpy Lisa It's grumpy Lisa Married in the lounge Us and the kids as witnesses 220? I think it's Grumpy Lisa. It's Grumpy Lisa. It's Grumpy Lisa. Married in the lounge. Us and the kids as witnesses. 220 bucks all up. It's Grumpy Lisa. Yeah, I love that. I think it's Grumpy Lisa.

I love that. Who cares how much you spend? Yeah, that's good stuff. I hope you just ran the vacuum around, though. I reckon you'd probably want to vacuum the dust. Oh, yeah. Put on a playlist or something on the Ui Boom. Yeah, put the Ui Boom on. We paid for the things we wanted. Mum or something on the U.E. boom. Yeah, put the U.E. boom on.

We paid for the things we wanted. Mum and Dad for the things they wanted. Oh. I don't care what my parents want. Then she said, in brackets, i.e. bubbles and canapes are after the ceremony. Oh, okay. You need bubbles and canapes. Canapes.

Canapes, yeah, it's actually canapes. It's canapes. I do apologise. Is it? Oh, God, I've been saying it wrong my whole life Yeah Jamie said Half of the people coming to their wedding

Are our parents' friends The parents, in-laws and us Are all going thirds Okay So there you go Your parents' friends? Yeah they might just show it off And if they're chipping in equally

You go When the parents are like We're inviting 20 or 30 people We want there You're like Okay well you're paying for them. Strong no from me. My parents said, how many people are we allowed?

And then we said, you're allowed this many, and they... Ruthlessly went through. I paid for my own. We had separate receptions. My parents sorted the after party for our family, and his mum paid for his reception. What, they had separate? Does the family not get on?

What? We've got a Romeo and Juliet situation. Yeah. Mel said, I did. Should have been a red flag from the start.

The bill for the wedding lasted longer than the marriage itself. Oh. Mel, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, Mel paid for the wedding. Yeah, you and the majority of other people though.

I wanted a cheap budget wedding and my mum wanted to throw the event of the century. To this day, I have no idea of the cost and I don't want to know, so I don't feel guilty of how much money was spent, even though it wasn't my choice and it was what she wanted. Epic day, but it was definitely more over the top than I would have

chosen to do it. How interesting. How interesting. Is that because do you think mum didn't get the wedding she wanted? Maybe. Maybe their financial situation had changed and mum didn't get the wedding she wanted? Maybe. Maybe their financial situation had changed and mum didn't get the wedding she wanted and now she could afford to sort of like splash out on it. Yeah. Jessica, Hubs and I intend to pay for both

and both sets of parents wanted to pay thirds with us. For both? For both. Wanted to pay for both. More than one wedding. I don't know. Maybe reception and ceremony or something like that. But both sets of parents wanted to pay for both. More than one wedding. I don't know. Maybe reception and ceremony or something like that. But both of these parents wanted to pay thirds of this.

It meant we had to invite a bunch of their friends, but it also meant we didn't have to completely clear out our house savings. Yeah, right. To do it. Yeah. Small price to pay. Carly says weddings are a scam. She's not wrong.

Yeah. There's a story there. It sounds like there's some hurt there Sounds like someone's been hurt Get her on the blower There you go Hayley People are getting married Wait

That wasn't the point of this Was it? Apart from Carly Apart from Carly She's standing strong On the fact that Weddings are a scam But you are going to need

To sort your wedding Because Morn and I Have non-refundable flights I don't have flights. Well, you wouldn't get those sort of love. They're not getting any cheaper. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This has been brought to our attention by Shannon at the social media desk who was perusing TikTok.

She's a lolly lover. She's a lolly lover. She loves a lolly. And a TikTok time spender. So she found this and we're on board because NZ Gems, a TikTok user, said they cater to all demographics and that's why I love this store so much.

Bro's allergic to inflation. Here are the prices at Rota Tuna Food Mart in Hamilton. And it's this massive wall of lollies. And I tell you what, very well-priced lollies. Really? And the selection is insane. Right. So we've found a place that has cheap lollies.

Yes. This is great news. Yeah. Or warheads. What are warheads? Warheads. Warheads? They were like super sour lollies.

I loved warheads? Warheads. Warheads? They were like super sour lollies. I loved warheads. Yeah. So there's just this massive wall of lollies, and it's all like a lot of them are 50 cents. There's bags of lollies. Oh, how much is this Chubba Chups? He's doing a big Chubba Chup for 30 cents. That's pretty good for 2023 Chubba Chups.

Because remember, it used to be 50 cents for a mix, and then it was a dollar, and then it was a dollar, and now it's two dollars minimum. And you get rubbish. F all. Yeah, second grade. These ones actually look all right, though. I've got the address here for Rotatuna Food Mart.

It's just around the corner from my mate Mike's mum's place. Oh, people will be so stoked about that. Yeah. About Mike's mum. About Mike's mum's probably just pumping around for a bag of lollies. Right. Right. The Rotatuna Food Mart is at 412 Hukanui Road, Rotatuna, Hamilton. Now, I'm Charmaine Chair, but that used to be bloody farmland when I was a kid.

Yeah, that's progress for you, Vaughan. Urban sprawl, mate. Urban bloody sprawl. This is like a big dairy. Oh, it's a food mart. Yeah, it's a food mart. I'm all for urban sprawl if there are cheap lollies involved. You'll go on record to say you're okay with fertile ground

being taken up with residential, I'll say it's substandard housing. We're going to have to start growing our salads in- In vertical farms. Vertical farms, yeah. In vertical farms. We've got a pro-urban sprawl over here If you're going down the new State Highway 1 Yep

That around Hamilton Just you can get off And it's pretty pricey there I mean I don't know if it would save us money Given the price of gas To drive all the way down there for cheap lollies But if you're passing through Yeah Hamilton

I'd drive far for a cheap lol I'll tell you I love lollies What's your favourite? And I love a dairy that really commits to you I love lollies What's your favourite? And I love a dairy That really commits to a lolly Fizzy coke bottle's my favourite Yeah you love it

Do you like the giant Fizzy coke bottles? No no no I like to pick at the smaller ones Okay yeah right After dinner When I'm in the mood For a sweet treat

Because I've been a good boy Yeah Yeah you have been a good boy Lollies never do it for me It's gotta be a bit of choccy Yeah it's gotta be choccy No A bit of pud.

Yeah. Yeah. No, always a lolly. I could go a lolly right now. Really? No, I'm not. Maybe if I'm in a car, I'll eat a lolly. Maybe at the movies, I'll eat a lolly.

Yeah, it's good stuff. But no, I'm certainly not picking lollies over. If there was cake, I'd go cake over lollies. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, cake is last. Cake is last for me. Lollies forever. Sweet treats. She's a lolly girl, right? Yep. If you're. Oh, no, cake is last. Cake is last for me. Lollies forever. Sweet treats. She's a lolly girl, right? Yep. If you're in Hamilton, rotatuna food mart.

Cheap lollies. Get it done. Right now, there is a sort of a trend or a theory, I guess, doing the rounds on the social meds of the fact that all of us are either wet or dry people. Now, when I read this, I was like, I'm a dry person. We know this. I'm ex-Marie. I've got very dry skin. In the winter, I dry out.

I've got dry hair, dry everything. I'm dry. Yeah. Because I went on Roaccutane. And that absolutely saps you dry, doesn't it? Kills your oil. So pre-Roaccutoma continued you were oily. No I've never

been oily. Okay. Never been oily. Always dry. The Sprouts were dry. Okay you're a dry people. So then I saw this

are you wet or dry and I'm dry and then I read it and I was like no I'm a wet girl. Sorry. Sorry it's the way I said it.

It's the way I said it. It is the way you said it. Yeah. But the theory of whether Explain yourself. The theory of whether or not you're a wet or dry person is not about your skin. It's about how you need to live life. So if you need to constantly have a full water bottle that you're sipping on at all times,

like you're sort of microdosing a plant, a house plant, and when there's food, you've sort of microdosing a plant, a house plant. And when there's food, you know, you've got to have a lot of ketchup. You've got to keep the food wet. Oh, yeah. You know, I love a lot of condiments. Yes. You know, I love my packet goop sauces in a stir fry. It's got to be a goopy, wet stir fry.

If it's not wet enough, I'll add water. You know what I mean? If my stir fry gets too dry, I'm adding water. Yeah. If it's frying, you're just add water. You know what I mean? If my stir fry gets too dry I'm adding water. If it's frying you're just like no, no, no, no, no. I want you part boiled, part steamed. Wouldn't we all be wet people then? No, because some people don't. Like I used

to live with a dry guy and he would just get to the end of the day and be like I didn't drink any water today. I know a few people like that. Yeah, a couple of dry guys. I would say tradies. They're all dry guys. No, but they'll have a sloppy

mince and cheese pie and a V for breakfast. Yeah, but where's the water? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a lot of liquid. They don't put sauce on the pie. Too busy. They're dry guys.

Okay. Because I'll go out and I'll be like, man, you haven't peed and you've got like no water around you and you work all day outside. My dad's a dry guy. He will just forget to drink water and then he'll say to mum, God, I've got a headache.

And she'll be like, have you drunk water? And he's like, oh, no, no, no. That'll be it. Make us up some cordial. Yeah, my dad's cordial. My dad doesn't drink water. He doesn't like it at all. Really?

And we had his pacemaker put in there like, you've got to drink more water. And he was like, I don't. I've just got to say I don't like it. So he's back on the cordials, is he? He's back on the cordial. Oh, bless. Yeah, well, he's a dry guy. I think my dad's a dry guy.

Like, I don't see him drinking heaps of water. Yeah. I remember when I used to work for my dad and we'd get to like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I was like, do you want a glass of water? He'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll get you a glass of water. I've never thought about it want a glass of water? He'd be like, oh yeah, I'll get you a glass of water. I never thought about it being a wet or a dry.

Yeah, but you know, I'm the same, when there's a meal, if there's some kind of, like arancini balls, right, I love arancini,

but it's got to have a dip and it's got to be moist inside. Oh yeah. It's got to have enough cheese in it so that it's still wet. Every food's better with a sauce. Yeah, every food's better with a sauce. I, every food's better with a sauce.

I reckon a true test if you're a wet person, you know when you are out and you get a glass of a beer or a wine and then you look at it and it's empty and you're like, how'd that happen? I reckon that's a bit of a... Because I'm a wet boy. Because you're a wet boy. You just open the mouth and pour it in and you just forget you've had it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're just craving wetness all the time. I think the three of us are wet boys. I think we're all had it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're just craving wetness all the time. Yeah. I think the three of us are wet boys. Like, we're all wet boys. Yeah. Well, you're... Would you... You're a wet girl. Yeah, I know.

Do you know what I mean? I think I'm going to go with wet boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah, all right. Let's just leave that there. 7.21. We're all wetties.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's. Oh, yeah. Bit of small town news, isn't it? Wow, a $10 million lotto win in a town of 4,500 people. Big news. Big news. Wairoa, Northern Hawke's Bay. Well, you know, I'll say it as well. Been through the ring of the area. Yeah, it has. This year, been through the ring.

Yeah, man. So, good to see a lot of women going to the area. In those small towns, whenever there was a lotto winner, you'd all know the house. Yeah. Because my mum's from Dargaville and there was always one house. I was like, they won lotto one year. You're like, oh yeah, that's a nice house.

Bold of them to stay in Dargaville. Yeah. Hey, nothing wrong with Dargaville. Still got a car on blocks in the front yard. Weird. Well, projects. Just more space. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're not allowed projects. Yeah, exactly.

So we want you to break the big news in your small town. Uh-huh. I would love this segment. Let's get it. It's been a while. We're also going to need you to sign off at the end. Oh, yeah. This is Jessica.

Jessica. Just as an example because we've got Jessica joining us now. Just some old town big news. Yeah, okay. Good morning, Jessica. Hi. Now, I've got some breaking news, an introduction for you. Yeah.

This is breaking news. Yeah, we've got breaking news. We're going to Jessica on the scene now. Jessica, where are you reporting from? Cambridge in the Waikato. Oh, beautiful. Stunning. Great trees.

Great trees. Spring, you begin your blossoms. Great trees. The trees are 10 out of 10. They've still got that speed camera right at the start. Oh, yeah. Out by the old retirement village. I donate to that every year.

No, I probably do too, without knowing. What's the small town big news? Cambridge opened their first chemist's warehouse last week. Oh, you're about to go get Dan Carter's perfume. Yeah, I love the chemist's. You always wander in there for a thing of vitamins that you come out with. $100 of it.

10 tubs of lube and a new conditioner. Great nasty prices. Great nasty prices. Okay, well, fantastic news. Could you sign off, Jessica? This is Jessica from Cambridge. Yeah, thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Jessica.

Back to the studio. This is Breaking News. I believe we've got Breaking News. Corin's on the phone. Where are you calling from, Corin? Calling from Lawrenceville. Oh, hello. Vaughan's hometown.

Vaughan's hometown. What's the big news there? So David Street School have their junior production on for the next three days. So it's like the five, six, seven-year-olds. And they're doing Back to the Future. Oh, fantastic. Five, six, seven-year-olds were born 30-whatever years after the original Back to the Future. Oh, fantastic. Five, six, seven-year-olds were born 30-whatever years after the original Back to the Future came out,

and it's a complicated timeline, time travel structure. Do they have any idea what exactly is going on in the intricacies of Marty McFly's relationship with his mother? Yeah. Not really, but my daughter's definitely loving the 80s music, she says. Right. Who's your daughter in the production? Oh, she's just a...

Chorus line. Yeah, that's all right. I was just a chorus line in a tree. And look at you now. Look at me now, flourishing. Yeah. Like the trees in Cambridge. Thank you very much.

Do you want to sign off, Corinne? Yep, signing off from my own soul. Yeah, thank you, Corinne. Thank you, Corinne. This is Breaking News. Breaking News. Oliver's on the phone. Where are you calling from, Oliver?

I'm calling from Fodder Fodder. Fodder Fodder. Oh, okay. Between Hamilton and Raglan? Yes. Just there. What's the big news there, Oliver? Oh, we just got a new town hall.

What? A new town hall? I thought we only built town halls after World War II. Yeah. How did this not make the 1 o'clock news?

The 1pm press conference? Yeah. That's beautiful. Whereabouts in Whatafuta is it? It's just behind the village cafe. Right.

And what's it got? Is it just a big venue? Oh, yeah. It's like just a massive venue pretty much. You'll be having your 21st there one day, Oliver. Pardon? You'll be having your 21st there one day. Oh, one day, one day.

One day. Good boy. There we go. There we go. Oliver, could you sign off, please? Oh, this is Oliver from Fudder Fudder. Thank you, Oliver. Killed it.

Go through some text messages here. This is breaking news. Napier scandal. Local bar has cancelled a knitting group's booking. A knitting group? The knitters are livid. Are they? Yeah.

They're pretty good at spending their money. I wouldn't imagine so. Nah, Tito is. Sit on a lemonade the whole time. Oh, the entire time. Huge news here from Porongia. We're getting a lot of action from the Waikato today. Yeah, well, it's a big lot of news.

Porongia is having its monthly and its annual market on the same weekend. Uh-oh. Are they combining? No. They're in two separate organisations. Oh, dear. This sounds like it could be problematic. That's in two separate organisations. Oh, dear. This sounds like a could-be problem. That's going to start beef.

Yeah. Some other messages. Little Mongafai just opened their new Broadway over the water. If you're up north of Auckland there. Okay. Stunning. Some more Waikato news. It's all happening in my beautiful home province.

Potaruru just got a coffee cart for the first time. Great news. Now we just need a decent supermarket. Shots fired. At the supermarket. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not reading your silly joke out from Pata Pata Umu.

I read the whole text before I'm going to read it out here or I won't say it. What were they saying? I won't say it. Oh, okay. It was silly. It was detrimental. What about this beautiful news from Te Poi Waikato,

the first man-on-man gay couple, as described by them. Man-on-man gay couple have bought a lifestyle block. That's big. That is big stance of you. That's big news. Big news. That's big stance of Te Poi, the local tab. And thank you for clarifying that it's man-on-man.

I reckon the lesbians would have been in there years ago. Lesbians actually sit on Te Poi. It's mouldy for lesbians. Is it? Okay. Yeah. They've got a round pooly for lesbians. Is it? Okay. Yeah. They've got a round pool table at the pub there. Do they?

Wow. What? Wow, dude. Wow. We used to stop every time we were on the way to the mountain for a day trip for a game of round pool. It's like playing mini golf but on a pool table. Yeah, that'd throw off my game.

Yeah. And Featherston Community Patrol are fundraising for a new car, so there's going to be a garden ramble. They love a garden ramble in Featherston Community Patrol are fundraising for a new car, so there's going to be a garden ramble. They love a garden ramble in Featherston. Ramble. A bunch of locals are getting people to check out their gardens. So if you want to get involved in that, tickets are $25 each for a ramble.

See, that sounds more like community news than breaking news. Yeah, you're right, actually. That's small town, small news. It is. All right, we've got to bring this back. I love it. I've missed this segment. I really have.

Next on the show, how did you get your nickname? Oh, my God. The story behind this is so bad. Guys, okay, there is a Reddit thread that was sharing the bizarre ways that you got your nickname, right? Like some of them, one of them, someone worked with a guy they called the Sniper's Nightmare. And everyone was like, how did he get the name Sniper's Nightmare? And it's because he had one leg shorter than the other,

which made his head bobble to the side. So his head kind of went like that when he walked. If tradies put as much effort into finishing their job that they were working on as they do, ragging on their mates, productivity would be through the roof. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's so funny.

You'd take a shot and he'd... Yeah. Oh, my God. Whoop, whoop, whoop. Running a zigzag. That's so good. Sniper's Nightmare is really great. There's another guy whose name legitimately was Wayne Bruce,

so they called him Man Bat. Man Bat was his go-to. Oh, yeah, brilliant. That's so good. And then, right, this is the one that caught my attention. There was a guy who all of his mates knew him as Sample. Like, now he's just Sample, right? Everyone's like, how the hell did he get that?

Is he a DJ? No, he's not. He's not a DJ. So this guy went into the doctors and they asked him for a sample. And they gave him a little, you know, urine jar. Yep. And they're like, you know, we need to take a sample. So you go in.

And he went into the bathroom and he came back and he handed it to them and he had ejaculated in the jar. He thought they meant they wanted a sperm sample, not a urine sample. Oh, no. So when they handed it over, the nurse was like, no, a urine sample. And he'd literally been in the bathroom like getting a sample out. So then he tells all his friends and they're like oh my god it's sample now. I love this. I love this. I know.

So I wondered if we could take some calls and get some texts in of your nickname or a nickname of a friend and how they got it. Yes. See we've already had a text. This needs explanation. I went to a wedding in Natsia a few years back. The groomsmen were called Fraggle, Fish, and Moisty. Now, those are great nicknames, but we need to know.

We need to know why. Why is he called Fraggle? Yeah. Why is he called Moisty? Why is he called Fish? Wait, they didn't say why. No, they just said those were their nicknames. So we need to know.

No, I want to know how you got it, because it's usually something absolutely terrible. How did you get your nickname? 0800 DALSATM. Let's take some calls. Text her as well. 9696. Already some great messages

coming through. Yeah, maybe you could tell us your nickname and we'll try to guess how you got it. Sample. Yes. I mean, obviously,

stories have to be okay for on-air. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Lads, lads, lads are coming in thick and fine. I bet they are. Some of them are not fit for broadcast.

We're wanting to know what your nickname is and more importantly, how you got it. Because there is a guy who goes by the name Sample because when he was asked to give a urine sample, he accidentally gave a semen sample. Very different samples. Yeah, that's why when you go to lab tests, they really explain it to you

Like you're quite dumb What about the time that I got asked To do a stool sample But they didn't tell me it had to be split up in three So then I had to go into the bathroom With my one stool sample And split it into thirds Now that was a dark day

That was a dark day for you Brooke joins us Or Yam joins us, or Yam joins us. Good morning, Yam. Hello. Hello, Yam. Okay, how did Yam get her nickname? Wrinkly.

Oh, she's wrinkly like a yam. Oh, close. Oh, close. Okay. So how did you get it? When I was a baby, my auntie looked at my toes, and apparently they were the wrinkliest toes she's ever seen. So then it came, yam toes came out.

Because babies do look a bit yammy, eh? They are a yam. Yeah, they are. They haven't filled out. And then, well, I'm 28 now and yam is still stuck. Like, my mum calls me yam. Just because you had wrinkly toes. When I was a baby, yeah. But you don't have wrinkly toes now.

I don't think so. You filled them out. With adult-ness. Brooke, Yam, thank you. Ask some messages in. My nickname was Pom Pom or Mushroom because my mum gave me a haircut and then left me with a bob that puffed up like I'm into a mushroom shape. mum gave me a haircut and it left me with a bob that puffed up

into a mushroom shape. So yeah, people would call me pom-pom or mushroom. I didn't even stuck after the hair. This is the thing about a nickname.

A good nickname sticks even after you've solved the issue. And if you don't like it, you don't react at the time. That's another way to get out of it. Yeah.

We had a mate who always had grey hair since we were kids. At intermediate, he had grey hair. Wow. So he got called Lamington because it looked like he'd been dipped in coconut. Oh.

We're talking about your nicknames and how you got them. Every good nickname has a good origin story. Some of these are so inappropriate and we'll never see the light of day. No, no, no, no, no, no. Mario joins us. Good morning, Mario. How you going? Good.

What's your nickname? Well, that's my nickname. I've got a real name, but everyone knows me by Mario. Mario. Because of the Nintendo game. Well, I guess sort of, because when I was playing rugby back in the day,

every time I'd go to a breakdown in a scrum or wherever I'd go down, if I was on the ground, as I got up, my ass crack would be hanging out. And so one of my good mates said, well, that's Mario the plumber, and so then I became Mario Buttcrack, was my name Mario Buttcrack, but now I'm just Mario.

Oh my god. I prefer Mario to Mario Buttcrack, to be fair. Do you still now in your adult life get the buttcrack out? Oh, absolutely. It's just part of life, yeah. What caused it? A short shirt or, like, a nice shapely bottom?

Well, just, like, I guess a big stomach and the pants wouldn't go over everything. Attaboy. Everything was shapen, so, yeah. But anyway, I was pretty happy with that sort of a nickname. Yeah, boy. everything was shaping so yeah but anyway I was pretty happy with that sort of a nickname so okay Mario

amazing thank you some messages in my nickname was noodles because I had a perman used mousse to scrunch up my curls so it was dry

and it felt like uncooked termina noodles so people called me noodles like Justin Timberlake yeah yup his would have been crunchy to touch.

His ramen hair. It looked bouncy but it never moved. My son's nickname as a baby was Mitch after the Michelin Man because his body had lots of chubby wrinkles.

Yes. We still call him Mitch. My nickname at school in South Africa was Chicken because my Christian name was in Afrikaans was Hendrik

which literally translates to the act of a chicken pushing out an egg. Oh my God. My Bessie still calls me Queenie when we were third formers I was just walking

not paying attention and I strutted right through the middle of a cricket game at lunchtime without even noticing and the game came to an abrupt halt while I made my way

through the field and I looked like the Queen. Amazing. That's what the game's for. Spaglio. Go on. Yes, no's what I'm going for. Spaglio. Go on. Yes, no, I was just reading that. Spaglio one, it really made me laugh.

Spaglio, Italian for mistake. I'm the youngest of six kids. Still get called Spaglio to the day. There's always a bonus. Yep. Lots of really inappropriate ones. Yeah, I love, thank you for the ones that text in saying, hey, not for broadcast,

just for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are some good ones. Appreciate that. Man, so many. Some horrendous nicknames that I feel sorry for people living with out there.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. It's Taylor Swift, Wildest Dreams, Taylor's version. Taylor's version. Taylor's version. That's the song that you've got to remember,

along with the song at midday and then the song at four if you want to win those tickets to see her live in Sydney. You've got to be the first caller through when that four o'clock song plays as well. Now, yesterday on a little bit of pod, our secondary podcast, it was discussed that Fletch had a moment in nature. Please recount for us now the

story told. Come on, it's too good not to share. I know, but it was different on the podcast because that's, you know, it's not nationwide radio, is it? We're a bit loose. I don't know, man. More people listen to the podcast than listen to the show. I'm just going to say. We get a bit loose on the podcast. Looser than Uranus in the bush. It'm just going to say. We get a bit loose on the podcast, looser than

Uranus in the bush. It felt a bit more intimate, I don't know. So at the weekend, some friends of mine, we went up and did the Pinnacles in the Coromandel. It's a little day hike in Thames. Just out of Thames. Beautiful spot. The weather wasn't too great.

But I'm notoriously a fast walker. So fast. I am a fast walker and I run to keep up with you. Yeah, and I've given up keeping up with either of them. We've been hiking together and I never I never, oh no, sometimes I've gone

ahead. But you're pretty fast as well. This is what I can't believe is that you would go, you would organise a social hike and then your friends would walk so slow that you would go, you would organise a social hike and then your friends would walk so slow that you just ditched them and went ahead. No, but there was four of them and so there was enough. He did the same thing

when he did the Whanganui River. He was in a dual kayak with my mate Callum who famously loves a chat and Fletch was like, paddle, paddle, paddle and Callum's like, not paddling, actively trying to slow the kayak down so he can talk to us. And Fletch is just like, ah! Lisa Carrington down the bloody Hauraui River.

We've got to get to the hut. For what? Chill out, dude. So I know, like, on the way up, I got to the hut maybe like 40 minutes before my friends. And that was fine, just chill. And then we went up to the summit. And then we were coming. 40 minutes.

I'm training. You need to calm down. What? For what? And we got to the summit and we had a nice little time chilling out there and then I was like, I'm coming down. I'll see you guys at the hut. They're slow, faffing about.

And there's a couple of ladders on the pinnacles because it's actually quite steep in some parts. It's a rad walk. Yeah, got these metal ladders that are like screwed into the cliff. So you're coming down and it was the second ladder. I came down and I was like all alone. I ditched my friends. It was like foggy and there was cloud all around.

It was quite nice. It was very calm. And I got off the last ladder and just as I stepped down, I let out a giant fart. Oh, yeah. What are we talking, are we a wet slapper or just a classic like Like a comedy sounding

Yeah, great. I mean because you've been walking so there's a bit of movement back there. And it was very like full sounding and kind of you know, robust. In the surrounding valley it kind of echoed a tiny bit. And I was like, well that's fine i'm by myself

my friends are like way out the top still i take one step and turn around and there's this lady right next to me and i didn't see her she came from nowhere and i just magically appeared and i was just like oh my god i'm just in my head i've just let out the biggest most embarrassing fart and i was just like hi and because i had my hood it was raining so i had my jacket and my hood over It's like, oh, my God. In my head, I've just let out the biggest, most embarrassing fart. And I was just like, hi. Because I had my hood over. It was raining. So I had my jacket and my hood over.

I was like, she's not going to know who I am. That's fine. I'm never going to see this woman again. Hi, you don't tend to remember people who fart right in your face. Yeah. Not like you'd be like, oh, my God. Especially when they work in the media. So embarrassing.

And so I was just like. Because you don't wear sunglasses. No, no. So you just would have been this. No, but there was very little of my face to see. I was like, I've got away with this. Okay. It's fine. She's not going to know, you know, who farted right in front of her until I get

later that day a message on the way back. We're driving back to Auckland from the Coromandel and I get a message from a woman called Briar who's replying to my story of me at the top of the pinnacles. It reads, Thanks for the really loud fart on your way down the ladder when you thought no one was there.

Oh, my God. So she knew. She knew. She worked it out. She knew. So she put two and two together. And then I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And I thought, yeah, I wondered if you'd recognise me and I'm so sorry

about that and she said my friends were talking about me and that's how she figured it out so your friends that you left behind were talking about how you'd rushed ahead she puts two and two together and now she can say it was you Fletch from the radio

very embarrassing and it was loud too. How could it be more embarrassing? Well, it can't, can I? You've just talked about it on national radio. Line three, Briar joins us. Good morning, Briar. Hello.

Good morning, Briar. Tell us about this fart. Oh, you know, it was a lovely rainy day and I knew he hadn't noticed me, and I didn't want to give him a fright. That was my worst part. Well, because I was coming down the ladder. I didn't see anyone.

I knew he didn't notice me, and then he just let one rip, and I was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I just say hello and keep going. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Briar. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there.

I would have held it in if I'd seen someone. Oh, I was like, did his foot slip? And I was like, no. That was a fart. Yeah. The way that you fart when you think you're in private is so different to the way you fart if you let one slip in public. Oh, it was loud. Like, I think the whole valley heard it. Yeah, dude. This is so embarrassing to the way you fart if you let one slip in public. Oh, it was loud.

Like, I think the whole valley heard it. Yeah, dude, this is so embarrassing right now. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Bri. I thought I'd got away with it, too. I was like, I'm never going to see this woman again. I kind of like the voice. Like, I recognise the voice of it.

And I was like, no, no idea who that is. And they're not talking about an old fletch right ahead to the hut. And I'm like, fletch. And I'm like, hang onch, and I'm like, hang on. That's the father. I mean,

unmasked, yeah. How many people, Bri, have you told that you saw Fletch from Radio in the Bush and he did a whopping fart right in front of you?

I did, when I got back into research and I did a bit of a Snapchat story up. Did you? I mentioned a radio host. No, don't do that, it's going to be us. It's like when there's mentioned a radio host. No, don't do that. It's like when there's an unknown radio host

four times over the drink driving limit and poor Hayley gets accused because she's got an alcohol problem. It's not me. It wasn't her. I don't drive. Oh, no. Yeah, and obviously it was me

because all over my story it was me hiking at the Pinnacles. Hiking at the Pinnacles. Oh, my gosh. I'm glad that you've joined us this morning, Bri, because I do apologise. I would have not done it if I'd seen you. Oh, that's okay.

Okay, fantastic. It was a lovely hike, though, wasn't it? Oh, it was amazing. Lovely. If only someone didn't spoil it by farting right in your face. After that long walk, you were just about at the summit. Okay, yeah. Yeah, apologies, apologies. Thanks for joining us, Bri. You're were just about at the summit? Okay, yeah. Yeah, I'm... Apologies, apologies.

Okay. Thanks for joining us, Bri. You're great to be on the show. Yeah. Thank you, Bri. This is one of my favourite threads on Reddit, which is like, am I the arsehole, basically. Oh, yeah.

With people so good, eh? They go on and they say, hey, this happened. Like, am I the asshole, basically. Oh, yeah. It's a good stuff. So good, eh? They go on and they say, hey, this happened. Like, am I in the wrong here? Or are you with me? So the story that they shared is a man and him and his wife were going to visit their daughter who had just started university. Okay. And so this is an American.

They were flying, you know, long flights, all this kind of stuff. And they got to the airport and it was really, really busy. Checked in, got through security, got to the gate with 15 minutes to spare before their flight was going to commence boarding, right? Okay, so they're nice and early. Nice and early, early enough. 15 minutes is not enough for me, but they're there. Then his wife says, oh, God, well, now we're here.

I just quickly want to get a coffee. And he was like, well, that's okay. There's a little cart, you know, like a small little store that does hot food and coffee. Grab one there. I'll go. I'll get one for you. And she's like, no, I want Starbucks. And then he was like, but Starbucks is a train, like a rail ride away.

It's one of those big airports. Oh, right. Okay, so it's got a little air shuttle train thing. Yeah, like an internal shuttle thing. She's like, nah, we've got plenty of time. 15 minutes till it starts boarding. There's all these people on this flight. I'll make it back.

Oh, no. This has given me a big anxiety. I'm already upset. And so then she just tottles off without him. And he's like, oh, my gosh. Okay, fine. 15 minutes goes by. Nowhere to she just tottles off without him. And he's like, oh, my gosh. Okay, fine. 15 minutes goes by. Nowhere to be seen.

The plane starts boarding. So he starts ringing his wife being like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, where are you? Where are you? Three times no answer. Finally, she answers. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm nearly there. I'm nearly there. But the line is like tapering off.

And it's coming time that he's going to need to board or they're going to lock him off the flight. So he gets on the flight. And she misses it. She missed the flight. Oh, no. You did. No, no, no. So the question is, everyone's like, oh, my God, you should have waited.

And he's like, no, but I said to her, you don't have enough time for this coffee. You don't. You just get one from that place there. And then, you know, they were going to miss this flight to see their daughter, so he just got on it. Could he have not said to the gate staff, like, she's just around the corner? Yeah, but they don't care. I'm sure he did. Oh yeah, they don't give a

crap either. They've got rules. That has to be shut at a certain time. Yeah. Oh, and bigger part, it says there, the pivotal moment when the flight attendant was announcing the gate is closing. He said he pleaded with her, can you just wait a couple of minutes? My wife's there. They said, we've got to go.

So he's like, I got on. So would you rather stay and then you've got to buy two flights for you and your wife or you get on and then you've just got to buy one flight? No, I wouldn't buy this. I'd be so annoyed at my partner though. She just misses the weekend away with the brewery. Would you do this? I'm the type

of person that if you get to the gate and there's a massive line, I'm just going to go get a coffee from over here. But I full well know the risk of doing that. I'm not going to ask anybody to feel sorry for me if I miss it. That's just how we roll, baby.

That's how us loose units roll. We have to be expected to be left behind. Whereas I'm with Hayley. I'm like, you've got to be really early. Yeah, I can't stand it otherwise. I cannot stand it. But I'm sort of on board with him. Like, he's in the article, he goes,

it's like a three-pager. He's having a big rant. He goes on and be like, she's always dilly-dallying. She's always getting delayed. Oh, my God. She's a born. She's a born. Yeah, but I'm okay with it.

Like, I wouldn't expect Sade to wait for me, but she won't get on the plane without me. I'm just like, get on. She's like, no, not till you get here or whatever. And I'll just be like, just do it. Do it. Do it. It's a nightmare.

Yeah. Would you get on the plane without Aaron if he was dilly-dallying and getting a coffee? I don't have a dilly-dallyer, though. Because I don't know. I mean, I say in my, I'm like, yeah, man, stuff him. I'd probably wait. I'd feel weird. And then I'd be so annoyed and so grumpy.

And I'd make him pay for it. If they miss the flight, you totally have a right to be grumpy. But if they get on, that's fine. That's me. Oh, no. If I get on and feel like, we're waiting on passenger Smith, I'll be like, oh, hey, that's me. And they're like, cheeky boy.

And I'll be like, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee. You just work your charm. Yeah. What about this message from a friend in the group chat? Their partner will leave them for an upgrade. So they've got upgrades. A thousand percent. Yeah, yeah.

And they came back on a recent trip in business and left them an economy because they had like a free airline upgrade. When me and Aaron fly together, we'll always prepay for exit row seats because he's so tall. And I'm like, well, I'll prepay, you know, so I can sit next to you.

And he's always like, oh, we could save the money. And you could go, you know, cram into just normal seats. Yeah, that's a good call. That's a good call, actually. You know? You don't need the leg room. He'll ditch me for a little bit of leg room. Yeah, I don't need it like he does.

Right. I like it. If I get upgraded to business, it's my personal reward for getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning. That's for a man that did get upgraded once and his wife was not. I like to look at this as my personal reward. Wow.

Yeah. The holiday is something we've worked towards together but this will be my personal reward. That was out of your control. They just did it. Yeah, you're on my side.

I'm on your side. I'm with you, babe. Daddy works hard. Oh, business is nice too. I could keep in touch with the plebs down there couldn't I I could message them There was a seat message Fact of the day

Day day day day Today's Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- So they are related to otters, ferrets, badgers, and skunks. Oh, I don't like ferrets. No, I'm not a huge fan of ferrets. No, yuck. I've been having a good chat about ferrets lately. Because about pests, stokes, wazers, ferrets. Yuck. Et cetera.

Get rid of all of them. Get rid of all of them out of this beautiful country of ours. But they are of that same family. And much like skunks, can produce a smelly odour. Honey badgers. Yeah, honey badgers. From the butt. So a skunk sprays.

They spray organic sulphur liquid. But a honey badger doesn't. It's sulphur, is it? It's a sulphury... You end up smelling like ototorua. Yeah, like rotten eggs and spoiled food and stuff. Yuck.

It's called a, yeah, it's a, the skunk spray is made of organic sulfur containing files. And so, but honey badgers don't spray it. They don't squirt it. Okay. They literally dump a stink bomb. Like you did when you went to the shop and got a stink bomb. And set it off.

They turn their, they've got glands just above their bum, under their tail, and it literally turns itself inside out and goes boom. Like it prolapses. Yeah, it pops out.

It pops out like a yogurt container. And it just, it's called a stink bomb, not a spray. Right. Because they don't spray it. They don't propel it. They literally just go. Just out.

And it just goes. Now, if you've ever been to the vet because your dog's had a blocked anal gland. No thanks. Or a vet who does one, you'll know that that smell is ungodly. Yeah, it sounds like a reason not to get a dog actually. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Yeah, it does. It works in the same way, except they can voluntarily choose to dump theirs., actually. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Yeah, it does. But it works in the same way, except they can voluntarily choose to dump theirs. Right. Now, you might be thinking, Vaughan, what do they do it for? Because I know skunks do it when they're being hunted or are predators after them. Yeah.

Or they're scared. But yesterday you told us that honey badgers are the most fearless creature in the world. Yeah. Yeah. You did. Well, they do it for a multitude of reasons. They do it to mark their territory,

to almost sort of like aggressively taunt people that are hunting them. Like if a lion's hunting them, apparently it's not in a fear. It's just like, yeah, come get it. Like that. And they also believe it may, because the honey badger eats honey, loves honey so much that's where it got its name from, honey eater of the Cape, the Cape being the South African Cape. They believe it may have a sleeping effect on bees.

The sting form. Oh my God. They make the bees, you know how you smoke out a bee hive and it chills them all out and they relax. So the honey beaver can get in there and eat all the... The honey badger. The honey badger, sorry.

Please don't refer to us as the honey beaver. Sorry, so the honey badger can get in there and eat all the honey The honey badger. The honey badger, sorry. Please don't refer to us as a honey badger. Sorry, so the honey badger can get in there and eat all the honey. Yeah. And the bees are just like, boo. Yeah. Hey, man, take my honey, man. Mark the territory. Impress fellow honey badgers because apparently the smellier the better.

So a honey badger comes in and they're like, whoa. Whoa, we got a big dog in the house. Right, okay. And, you know, impress predators who are hunting them to be like, oh, here, come and get some. And it has a sleepy effect on bees. It calms them down so they're less likely to attack them whilst they are raiding there.

Are you worried that you're going to run out of honey badger facts? Dude, I've got so many honey badger facts. Okay, good. It is honey badger week. I don't want to stand around. So much to know. It's honey badger week. So much to know about my ever, you know, they're up there

now with the Tasmanian devil for me. Are they? My favourite animals. Okay. It's wild. I love it. Absolute little character little monster, little terror, little chaotic unit. So today's fact of the day is the honey badger, like its cousin the skunk, can produce a very, very smelly liquid.

Fact of the day day, day, day, day. It's time now for the impossible phone-in topic A phone-in topic we think will be Near impossible Quite hard to get calls for Now there is a man in Manhattan, his name is Daniel Levine He woke up Maroon 5 Not Maroon 5, no A man in Manhattan, his name is Daniel Levine. He woke up.

Maroon 5. Not Maroon 5, no. He has recently woken up to, you know, in the morning, checked his bank balance. You know, you do that. Sit on the toilet. Sit on the toilet, you check your apps. See how much money you got.

Social media, yeah, you open the banking app. And that's when he realised that he had in his bank account a deposit of $89,912. Far out. Now, don't go spending that because the bank's going to want that back. Well, yeah, so this had actually been transferred by an E-Trade corporation. So some kind of financial corporation had accidentally put it in his account. $89 million. And he, unlike most people, wasn't like,

free money, I'm going to go start spending this. He, yeah, obviously got in touch with them. Oh, they'll always get it back. Yeah, 100%. Always get it back. Yeah, but wouldn't you just go and buy like a nice dress? Do you know what I mean? And just for your troubles.

I would expect some sort of trouble money. Yeah. Pop into Moochie, get a glass of champagne. Yeah. You put me out. I'm going to need a percentage.

Could you, how much interest could you make even if you didn't tell them for like a week? I could just have it sitting there. Like just put it in a high interest on, is that even a thing?

Can you do that? Well no, you could just have it as a savings account. I mean you wouldn't have time to turn deposit it because they'd want it out. But even if you just had it in a savings account with a smaller amount of interest for a week, it would be good stuff. But a lot of savings, because have you ever seen those savings terms and conditions? It's like $1,000 to, I don't know, a million or something, but it would never give you interest on $89 million. This also happened to a guy in Australia recently.

He had $68,000, which was a mistake in the numbering, the bank account numbers. Someone had meant to deposit $68,000 into someone else's account. He got it. Okay. But then if it's happened,

I think how impossible a phone has got to be when a bank error happened in your favour. No givebacks. No givebacks? No givebacks. Oh my god, no, they'll be givebacks. It would be impossible, right? But this could also include, like, you know when

ATMs go about haywire and they chuck out a bit of cash and they can generally, because if it was your card was the last one in there and it says you took $400 but $5,000 spat out, they might be like, hey, did you get it? We've got you on camera getting it. But maybe. Before that.

Yeah, maybe. Before they had their technology. Because I think it's too probable that there's been. I think there's always going to be givebacks, so. That's what makes it the impossible photo. Oh, my God. We've got to try a little bit harder to find one with no givebacks. So have you had a bank error in your favour, but you kept the money?

That they didn't pick up on. So it could even be... You can call anonymously. It could even be like $100 from a wrong Trade Me account or something. Yeah, dude. And you kept it. And they didn't... Oh, yeah, okay.

They didn't come looking. Okay. The person that paid the $100 just paid another $100 this time into the right account because they considered it was their error. Someone would write off that before they wrote off like $89 million. Yeah, totally. I would be quicker to write off $100 than $89 million personally. I'm no mathematician, but I don't believe

that stacks. Okay, well the impossible phone-in topic. Give us a call. 0800 dials at Amazon number. You can text through 9696. When has there been a bank error in your favour? That stacks. Okay, well, the impossible phone-in topic. Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-EM-IS-OUR-NUMBER. You can text through 9696. When has there been a bank error in your favour that didn't have to be paid back? Yeah, you kept it. Yeah, you got it.

The impossible phone-in topic. Have you had a bank error in your favour, but you kept it? You didn't have to give it back. A man was accidentally deposited $89 million. Yeah, ridiculous. He obviously sorted that out and had to give that back because nobody's missing $89 million.

Because he's a little bee and he wasn't brave enough to just take it and run. You would have gone on a small shopping spree. I would have shaved off my hair. I would have got a whole bunch of tattoos. I would have left. Yep. Well, a lot of people messaging in, they've been on the wrong end of an unreversible bank

mistake. Oh, okay. For example, the person who went camping and their friend paid for all the camping fees. Yep. They said they'd pay them back and they did. They made a bank transfer, but they put in a silly particulars, didn't they? We all put in silly particulars. Oh, we did.

One of the references there was very embarrassing, very silly, very adult. And then they accidentally got one number wrong and deposited it into somebody else's bank account. Then they were too embarrassed to ring the bank and say, I made a mistake, can you get that money back? Because the bank would have to look at the particulars.

So I've got them twice. That's pretty good. Leanne, you got a bank here in your favour? You got to keep it? Yes, I did. About 30 years ago, I was an assistant manager in a clothing store. Yep. And I had got another job as a manager in another store, so I handed in my notice and left that.

And then for a month after I'd finished and been paid out all holiday pay and stuff, I got paid for an extra month every week. Oh! And you didn't tell them? No, well, they rang me about it, and I just said, oh, okay. But there was nothing legally they could do, so they were a bit of an arsehole company to work for, so I took it back.

So you just took that as, that was their arsehole thing. Yeah, so that's... I like this. That's in your favour, I love it. Thank you, Leanne. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. Yeah, someone transferred $500 into my account and I left the money sitting there waiting because I was told that they'd always come for it back. Yeah. After two years,

I took it out and I spent it. Oh, no, see, after two weeks, I would have spent it. Yes, same. Two minutes. Keep your texts coming in. The impossible phone-in topic. A man had $89 million deposited into his account accidentally. Had to give it back. He gave it back.

We want to know when you've had a bank error in your favour and you didn't give it back. You didn't have to. Yeah. Andrew says, I had 25,000 rand deposited into my bank account when I was in South Africa and I contacted the bank about it and said, I don't know where this is coming from.

They said, no, no, it's meant to be there. And he said, I don't know about that. And they were like, no, no, it's correct. How much is, producer Jared, how much is 25,000 rand? No, I can't hear you. How about now? I think he said grand. I think that's about two and a half grand.

For free in his bank, and he didn't give it back. Oh, that's a good bank era in your favour. Still have to account that to the IRD, though. Do you? Do you? Because it's money that's been put into your business account. No, it's not your business, your personal account. He said it was his business account.

Oh, only if they ask. Oh, they're not looking in there. Only if they ask. I'm not sure they have it. No, that's how tax works. No, I don't know that. No, Hayley told me that's how tax works. Yeah, you pay if they ask for it.

Right, they have to ask for it. But they don't often ask. Yeah. Right. Please don't come fishing. Yeah, they will. How's this? This person hasn't messaged us the last part of this message.

The producers have tried to call. In 1998, Westpac accidentally deposited $9.99999999 billion into my account. This isn't the... No, that was $10 million. Someone messaged in as well saying, don't call me because I don't want to talk. But my friend was the one that had 10 million deposited. And they did a runner. They did a runner and they ended up getting caught

after an international manhunt. I was 21 years old at the time and I had no idea what was going on. I biked down to the ATM because back in the day you had phone banking. That's how I found out. I had $9 billion in my account. Imagine that you were like,

that is like you have $9 billion. So I needed to see it written down. So I went down to the ATM, got three printouts from the ATM showing the balance. I still have all of these showing $9.9 billion. What a story. Using the ATM, I transferred $80,000 into my savings account just to see if I could. It worked. Oh, my God.

I'll text you the rest of the story soon. I'm just dropping the kids off at school. No! Screw the kids! We need to know what happened! I also need them to email or a picture of the ATM receipt with $9 billion. Yes, please.

What an absolute incredible story that is. You just look at it all day. You'd just be looking at your bank balance like, Oh my God, I need the rest. Producers, try calling because what is it?

What's the end of the show? I know. Do you think we come back tomorrow and finish the rest of the story? Could do an update. Maybe they could join us. I mean,

they might be walking out now. They might be about to get on the front. I could read a couple of other ones on here. Well, yeah, if not, I think part two tomorrow

could be a real, this is what they do on Shortland Street, isn't it? They do the cliffhanger. Yeah. Somebody else said, the bank deposited $6,800 into my account. Yeah. I was like, fantastic.

And I spent half of it on one weekend having a blast. But knowing what I was doing was wrong. Turns out my mum had taken out a personal loan and they'd mistakenly put it into my account instead of hers, which just had a different suffix. Half of mum's money. They threatened to charge her with a criminal offence, which never happened.

However, I did get taken to Bay Corp and my financial situation was incredibly difficult. You didn't get away with that. No, you didn't get away with that. You didn't get away with that. Impossible phone to leave to see another day. Now, I believe we have Sarah has called through. Good morning, Sarah.

What? You were the person that had $9 billion in their bank account. Yeah, correct. Oh, my God. So where we left the story is you transferred $80,000 into your savings account and it worked. Now what happened? And it worked. Then what happened? Yeah, so it was a bit crazy.

So I was like a student, 21. I was sitting in my flat and kind of like in the morning I jumped on to phone banking and, you know, checked my balance after the big weekend. And it said $9,000,000,000,000. Shut up. A million dollars, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what? And I was like, what? And I was like, the flatmates were all crowding around me.

So I was like, no, I hung up, rung back. No, same balance. So I got on my bike and, like, bumped down to the ATM, checked it, and it goes, you know, back then you could get some printouts. Yep. Anyway, so I got three of them because I still didn't believe it and then I went back home

and I said so what do you think I should do and they're like okay see if you can transfer some money out so I had a savings account so I put I don't know why I chose 80 million I mean 80,000 so I put 80,000 into my savings account just to see if it could work and it did so I think I was like just to see if it could work. And it did. Oh.

So I think I was like, the flatmates and I remember just driving around that day thinking, oh my God, what could I do with all this money? No, you could save the world. Yeah, I don't think I thought of that at 21. No, no, I'd be like, this drink's on me. Yeah, yeah, that's a lot of ciders back in the day. Yeah, and so then I think it lasted probably a week before the bank contacted me.

Right. How did that phone call go? Disappointing, eh? Yeah, it was very relaxed. They weren't angry. I think they were laughed about it. I'm pretty sure I don't, I think

because there would have been interest, but very minimal. You know, that's just how it was better back then. But yeah, and they just they apologised to me for the inconvenience or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, but they ended up taking it all back and I just went back to my normal balance.

But it was an amazing few days and I just rode around thinking that I was. So you have been a billionaire? I have. You're a 21-year-old billionaire. Wow. Did you spend any of it? Did you buy anything above and beyond? No.

My nickname is Faith Sarah, so transferring the $80,000 was probably the most I was able to do. And they didn't give you any reward for the fact that you didn't just pass this all away? They could have, aye. But no, they didn't give you any reward for the fact that you didn't just pass this all away. They could have, eh? But no, no, they didn't. This could have been like massive news as well. I know.

If it had been, well, no, the funny thing was that most people, it was in the news, but most people had had huge amounts taken out of their Westpac accounts, not deposited in there. Right. God, they really had a problem back in the day, didn't they? They did have a problem. Someone was willy-nilly, weren't they? They were willy-nilly with their deposits and withdrawals. Oh, wow.

But if it had been now, you know, with social media, it would have been all over everything. Yeah, great story. It would have been, I would have had to call the newspaper, which, yeah. Yeah, it wasn. It would have been, I would have had to call the newspaper, which, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't happening. Incredible story, Sarah. Formerly a billionaire,

but not anymore. We're going to hook you up with our caller of the week. Yes. A $50 McCafe voucher, thanks to our friends at McCafe. A $9 billion McCafe voucher. We will call you in a week

and rectify that. Well done, Sarah. Amazing. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars if she does the same for this podcast and then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening maybe give it five stars as well.