ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 5th September 2024

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

October Christmas?!  Top 6: Taylor Swift Course Post-Grad Options  Silly Little Poll!  What didn't you suit?  Hayley's Doppelganger  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchforn and Hayley, she's back. I'm back. She's back.

Not spewing today? Not spewing, but I still haven't eaten either. You know when you've just had a wrong gut and the wrong thing will just set you off. What about a nice ginger beer? They say you should have that. Too fizzy. Too fizzy.

Like a semi-flat. Yeah, like a flat lemonade when you were a kid. Yeah. It was this minute you started spewing. Yeah, the popsicle or the lid got popped off the lemonade. I found some popsicles in our freezer, but they had freezer brewing because they hadn't been in there for five years. Five years, what? Yeah. Since like COVID when they told everyone to buy ice blocks. Ice blocks? Lemonade. I found some popsicles in our freezer, but they had like freezer burn because I hadn't been in there for like five years. Five years, what?

Since like COVID when they told everyone to buy ice blocks. Ice blocks? I honestly think that's where they're from. Yeah. What did they tell us to buy ice blocks for? Like if you had a sore throat. Yeah. And everyone went out and bought popsicles.

You couldn't get them. You couldn't get your hands on them. Yeah, I think mine are off-brand popsicle. Yeah, okay. Anyway, happy to be here. Did the show suffer greatly without me? Oh, it suffered greatly. Yeah, I thought so are off-brand popsicle. Yeah, okay. Anyway, happy to be here. Did the show suffer greatly without me? Oh, it suffered greatly. Horrendously. Surprises still.

It makes me feel good. That you're needed. It makes me feel good. Needed and wanted. Joining us on the show today, Lisa Carrington. After eight with her bajillion medals. She's got a couple of a book out. Both in English and Tadeo. Yeah, really cool. Lisa Carrington Chase is a champion. Can you call her Dame Lisa?

Dame, sorry, Dame Lisa Carrington. Spoiler alert, she caught the champion. She passed the champion. Now she's the champion. Yeah. The top six on the way, AUT announcing that, of course they are. A Taylor Swift course, which will be,

I tell you what, if you're looking to tick up a little bit of extra student debt for a certification, it will definitely pay off with a job at the end. Also, when they like, That's my degree, so you're silly. When universities like making cuts to like everything, and now they're like, here's a Taylor Swift course, cool. I guess if they need to make money, they're going to do something that people will really want to do.

Gets people talking, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Like we are. Like we are. Well, the top six are dealing with this soon. Yep. The job opportunities for those that take that paper under their wing. Today, 111 days away from Christmas.

Wow. Oh, wow. Just to shock you there, Daylight Savings, we're three weekends away from Daylight Savings. Well, there is a country that is going to do Christmas early. Oh, they can't wait. They cannot wait. Oh my God.

Just got to get through to Christmas. We're just going to get Christmas out of the way. We've just got to get through to Christmas. 111 days away. Have you guys already worked out your Christmas plans? No. I haven't. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing.

I'll just do the same thing I do every year. No need for plans. Just eat, buy presents. But like, do you choose a house? Like what house you're in, who's going to be there? Surely you've chosen a house by now. Nah. Well, you've got to do that.

It's Sprout Christmas, meaning, you know meaning on the day we're with the Sproul I don't know. I don't even know if my brother's coming over. Am I going to Wellington? Are they coming? Oh, goodness me. Nothing works 111 days away. Especially if you're booking flights. Oh, no. You've got to sort this out. I'll host to make it everyone else's problem. Yeah, everyone comes to you.

Way easier. Well, in Venezuela, the lovely, beautiful country of Venezuela. Turbulent times. Yeah, turbulent times. Yeah, I've got the lovely, beautiful country of Venezuela. Turbulent times. Turbulent times. Yeah, I've got a couple of Venezuelan friends always posting about, like they've basically got a Trump running the show, but a real authoritarian piece of shit. What's their name?

Nicolas Maduro. Maduro. And he's an authoritarian. Basically, the latest election they've had was absolutely rigged. Yeah. And people aren't happy about it. And I think he's just arrested or put out an arrest

warrant for the opposition leader. It's horrible times. The country's had... You're allowed to do that, are you? Apparently, the country's had, like, you know, bad inflation and economic problems for a long time now. Yeah. And because things are

at such a flashpoint in Venezuela at the moment, the president has announced that Christmas will now be in October. Just to distract from everything. Sorry? You can just do that, can you? Apparently you can. He said, and I'm quoting, it's September and it already feels like Christmas.

So this year, as a way of paying tribute to you and thanking you, I'm going to decree that Christmas be brought forward to the 1st of October. No, that's stressful. It's not a thank you to bring Christmas forward. It's rushing it. Also, it's like the whole religious thing, right? Yeah.

They would be quite, you'd imagine, quite religious there. Venezuela. Like a lot of South American countries are Catholic. Catholic because of the Portuguese or Spanish origins. Yeah. Well, origins slash colonizers. Yeah. Are we doing it like the king where, you know,

Jesus' birthday doesn't really matter. It's just when it falls. I don't know. Jesus was more likely born in July anyway. Yeah. Isn't that if he was born where they said he was born and that time of year it would have been like middle of winter. Where did we get

December 25th from? I think they nicked it off the pagans, didn't they? Oh my God, those witches. It was in the winter so it was like

they need something to celebrate there. Because it was so cold and yeah, right. So they've basically done that themselves, just picked a date and we're gone with it.

Roman Catholic is the most common religion in Venezuela. Okay. So they're changing Jesus' birthday just for this dude. That's wild.

So how's he going to do this? One, how's Santa going to know? So Santa's going to come out twice now. Well, that's just wasting his time. He's really going to go throw the elves in Santa's production into absolute turmoil. Well, they sit back till at least the start of October, don't they? Yeah, because they're New Zealanders. They leave it all to the last minute.

Yeah, and then the couple of days before they're like? Yeah, because they're New Zealanders. They leave it all to the last minute. Yeah, and then the couple of days before, they're like, shit, I've got to get a voucher. Oh, we need some Nerf blasters and some GI Joes. I don't know what the kids have. And a robe for mum. GI Joes? What do kids use? Yeah, GI Joes.

Balloons? Balloons. Balloons. Yeah, bag balloons. God, are you a bit of a crap uncle? Those xylophones? Is that what you're buying your nieces and nephews? No.

Balloons. A marimba. A marimba. A marimba. Ba-ding a crap, Uncle. Those xylophones. Is that what you're buying your nieces and nephews? No. Balloons. A marimba. A marimba. A marimba. Ding, ding, ding. Okay, so is he officially doing this or is he just... He can do what he wants because he runs the country, Hayley. That's what authoritarians do.

They do what they want to do. Yeah, so happy... Merry Christmas. 1st of October to our Venezuelan listeners. What language do they speak there? Venezuela, don't they speak Spanish? Feliz Navidad then. Brazil's the only one that speaks.

I mean, they probably speak a bit of Portuguese, but Spanish is the main one. To them, I'd like to say prospero ano y felicidad. Oh, wow. What did you just? I don't know. Feliz Navidad. Have you been doing duolingo and not telling us?

Feliz Navidad is Merry Christmas. Yeah. Prospero ano y felicidad. That's just how the rest of the song goes. So I think we'll have a prosperous Merry Christmas. We'll have a prosperous Merry Christmas in Venezuela. Yeah, fantastic. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, you've used Apple tags to trace your baggage before, haven't you? Yep. Yeah, and they discourage that. They're like, shut up. No, I think airlines are pretty good with it. I think they're on board with it now. They just hated you being like, I know exactly where my bag is. If you just let me get back there, I'll be able to just grab it.

Yeah, yeah. I can still see it hasn't left the airport. And you guys have really buggered this up. Yeah. Get up all in their face. Yeah, because I landed in Crushage and I was waiting at the carousel. And then I saw my air tag say it was in Auckland. And it was.

It was still there. Yeah. No baggage. I've never used them. I don't have them. But people use them for all sorts of things. They're so good for travelling. I need them.

If you're travelling overseas, you have to have them. They are just incredible. I need to get some for my dad. I mean, I was going to say he's forgetful. He's got Alzheimer's. Just one on him. Just in case he goes wandering. No, but like keys, wallet.

The best part about it is it plays a little noise, doesn't it? Yeah. That's the best because you lose it around the house and you look and it says it's in your house and you're like, let me find it. The thing I use my Apple Watch for the most is finding my phone. Absolutely. Without it.

So good. Play me the sound. And you can get ones for your wallet too. That's lovely. It reminds me of these things. Yeah. These toys we had when we were kids. The whistle key rings?

In the 90s and you'd whistle and it'd go. Yes. And you, so the whistle key rings were so popular they became toys. They were like these things you'd hide. And the whole idea was someone would hide them. It was like a game of hide and seek, but it opened up the possibilities of places to hide. I've never heard of these.

They were these little, my sister had a purple fluffy one. Oh. Yeah, with eyes and stuff and you'd hide it. And they were also, yeah, key rings. Big booty key rings and you'd whistle to find your keys. Yeah, and they go, and they go. Maybe I'll buy some tonight. I do need these because I'm also very forgetful. Oh my God, they're great. Anyway, the reason I'm talking about Apple tags

is because people use them all the time. I mean, sometimes I use them to like track their boyfriends on a night out. I mean, we're not encouraging that. If you're with an, like, if I borrow my friend's car, he's got one in his car, it'll beep at me and alert me that someone's got an AirTag on me. Yeah, all right. You know, the key to that is you go share device with

and you put it on that person's phone too, so then it doesn't beep when you're stalking them. I reckon you, like, knew that information was, like, too readily available in your brain. Well, I just want to know what Westfield my wife's at. I know she's at Westfield. Because if it's Newmarket, you're in trouble.

If it's Newmarket, I'm going to cash money. Lots of stores, too many options. Anyway, the reason I'm talking about this is because there is a Texas resident over in America and she is like a climate justice activist,

like, you know, hippie probably. Just saw Greta Thunberg got arrested overnight. Did she? Yeah, she's still protesting. She's still upset. Well, thatie probably. Just saw Greta Thunberg got arrested overnight. Did she? Yeah, she's still protesting. She's still upset. Well, that's good.

I thought we'd sorted out what she asked us to do. I would have just got, like, famous for 15 minutes and then just chilled. How dare you? And, like, thrown away plastic in places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Burnt it.

Anyway, so we stand by her. But this woman wanted to see where her recycling was actually going. Because we think we know and maybe we don't. This is a problem I've had because a lot of the, was it Fair Go? Yeah, Fair Go loves one of these. They showed that like a lot of the recycled council bins were just going in the trash, right? In the normal. Like those triple ones.

Yeah, you put your coffee in and then it would all just go in the same. It would go to the landfill. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So Houston, excuse me, Houston started this like whole new scheme. And in 2022, they were like, this is what's going to happen.

We've got this new sort of recycling place and you're going to use this technology to burn it and do this and chemically treat it and then reuse it. And it's going to be revolutionary. It's going to change how we do things. Yeah. So she wanted to use this technology to burn it and do this and chemically treat it and then reuse it. And it's going to be revolutionary. It's going to change how we do things. Yeah. So she wanted to check this.

So in each bag of her recycling for weeks, so she bought like heaps of these tags. They're not cheap. No. She'd drop an Apple Air tag in them and track them. And it turns out, one, it was nowhere near where it said it was going. It was nowhere near this recycling plant that they said where it was going. Yeah.

And it was all just, like, it was just sitting there being untouched, basically. And the air tank didn't get, like, compacted in a rubbish truck or a collection truck? Nah, it was just sitting there abandoned in essentially what is landfill. So they had these ways of like advanced recycling, da-da-da-da, and none of it has happened. And actually, I was looking to see if they'd actually said anything, but they haven't yet because this goes on all the time. So last year, heaps of news outlets did this

and they like tracked a bunch of recycling across all of America and very little of it was actually going to these recycling centres. I guess only like a select amount. I think, is it just so we feel good when we're doing it? I don't know. We feel like we're doing our part. We feel like people who say they're taking care of the next part

aren't doing their part. Yeah, but we're like, we've done our part. We had like piles of recycling sitting in like warehouses and fields doing nothing because they couldn't sell it to China or something. Yeah. And so then they were just like, well, I guess we bury it now.

Yeah. I was also watching a video, I don't know what it was on. I'm sure it was on some like council thing maybe about paper recycling and they're like, oh, anything smaller than an envelope, your standard letter envelope, put it in the bin, in landfill, not in your recycling paper

because it goes through a machine and anything small just slips through and goes in the bin anyway. So like, yeah, basically anything smaller than a A4 piece of paper. So if you've got little bits of paper and you're recycling, they're like, nah. So if, you know, like shredding, they're like, you if you know like shredding they're like you can't recycle

shredded paper I was like this isn't used to me I thought it all went into a pulp yeah nah it goes through

a process first before it gets pulped yeah right and anything smaller just slips through goes in the trash I should get a sieve on it

catch all that other stuff put it back through yeah you could get a sieve from like Briscoe's yeah it's Thursday it's Briscoe sale day yeah that's where

they all start yeah anyway when we're over here do we just become council consultants I think we did Yeah, you can get a sip from like Briscoe's. Yeah. It's Thursday. It's Briscoe's sale day. Yeah, that's where they all start. Anyway. When we're over here, do we just become council consultants? I think we did. I think we did. Where's our money? Problems.

I want someone to do this in New Zealand. They have. They do it constantly. The Apple tags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure that was what Figo used to do when they did it most recently. Well, you guys have Apple tags.

You sacrifice one. I'm not throwing mine in the bin. You sacrifice one. Only me. I'm not going to buy them. You sacrifice one. I'm not throwing mine in the bag. You sacrifice one. Only me. I'm not going to buy them and then sacrifice one. You do it. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. This number's out of Britain, but I believe it would be similar

if not higher in New Zealand because I think we're a smaller country, so we probably think it would be easier to work it out. Okay. But apparently one in three British people believe they could solve a murder. Solve a murder? Yeah, because of the amount of true crime podcasts and TV shows they watch.

I've taken a little break from true crime actually because I was really into it. You've gone from true crime to horny books. I know. Literally that's all I listen to at the moment but I was a big true crimer. I would have thought I was more capable of, I don't want to curse at you, but committing murder.

Right, because you know all the ways to get away. Yeah, like how you get away with it. Yeah. You know? Sometimes they get away with murders on TV shows and you're like, purely by luck that nobody was there. Yeah.

But they walk in somewhere and shoot someone and walk out and they're like, well, who knows? Why would it have been me? Yeah. Yeah. Prove it. Yeah. And it's wild. So 2,000 adults were studied.

18% think they could handle a missing persons case. 17% reckon they could successfully investigate fraud. Oh, yeah. Okay. 13% believe they have what it takes to solve cyber crimes, such as catfishing. Yeah. And 12% think they do a better job than the police

when it comes to solving cyber crimes. Oh, sake. Yeah, come on. But one third believe they've got what it takes to be part of a successful investigation team into a murder. Is this, are the stats split at all by gender? No. Like when guys thought they at all by gender? No.

Like when guys thought they could land a plane? Yeah. I think women on the true crime I think women would be just men would be men would totally be do a better job than the cops and men would totally be

their usual full of themselves opinion of how overestimated and gracious. Thank you for saying it. But woman in this case of solving a murder, because we all know white chicks love. Love true crime. Love true crime. Oh, yeah.

And the more brutal, the better. We all know that women love tracking down a cheating boyfriend. Oh, God, yeah. And will go into absolute overdrive detective. The catfishing one, I reckon I'd be onto it pretty quick. If someone tried to catfish me and was messaging me. Right, you'd know who they are or you'd know that you were being catfished.

I'd know that I was being catfished and then I'd play along to expose them. To expose them. Like that show. Okay, yeah. The dead giveaway would be like, oh, it's Jason Momoa. And I'd be like, it's Momoa.

You silly idiot. Gotcha. And he'd be asking you for money. Yeah, he'd be asking me for money and nudes. The thing with the podcast and the, you know, cop and crime shows, reality or fake, they don't show the actual hard work that goes into these things. No, I know. You train to.

They get the lab results in like 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the next scene, they have the lab results. That could take like a month. And what are you doing in that month? Yeah. You've got no leads. Yeah.

You've got to start working on your other cases. Other cases, you've got no leads. No, I know. Like, people have no idea. And then you've got to follow all the protocol to ensure that you don't mess up the case where their lawyer can get them off. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you've made a mistake.

Yeah. I do love a bit of arrogance, though. It's cute. You're cute. It's really cute. Arrogance. That's what I'm always saying. Cute.

Arrogant. Oh, my God. He's so arrogant. That's super cute. That's super cute. Play ZM's Fletch V That's super cute. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZDM.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. There's disappointment when your kids want to study the fine arts and then there's disappointment when your kids want to do a summer course of Taylor Swift. Throwing money in a fireplace. Are your girls Swifties?

Nah. I never say never. I mean, they enjoy the musical stylings. Yeah. They're definitely not Swifties. Yeah, right. AT is to launch Australasia's first university course studying Swift.

Blah, blah, blah. A lot of American unis have done this in the last year or so. It's like a study of culture, right? Yeah. And like the movement

and that kind of stuff. It's not just her. Throughout her career she has demonstrated excellence in lyrics, music and a curated image of pop culture phenomenon. Let's not forget

the time she threw our fan mail without reading it. Straight in the bin. Call her out. Call her out. Never forget. Yeah people saw that.

I mean yeah whatever you think of her she is an absolute phenomenon. Oh my god yeah. Powerhouse. Yeah. I mean the bank

balance alone. Oh god. Is she a billionaire? No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And just on like music and touring. Yeah I know. She hasn't done like a shitty perfume that smells like candy floss. Do she have? Has she?

Oh, okay. The multiple shitty perfumes. Oh, where did I smell Britney Spears fantasy and I was like, woof, like take him back. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's an absolute classic.

I don't hate it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so she is doing fragrance. But you have a lot of other artists like Rihanna that went into whole different businesses. Beauty and yeah, totally. Or clothing or something

where she is just doing the music thing. Taylor by Taylor, Wonderstruck by Taylor and Wonderstruck Enchanted by Taylor. It's not by Taylor. Do you know what I mean? She didn't go in and go. All are selling.

I like that smell. She perfumier. For like 130 bucks for 100 mil. All sold out. It's only a. She's a perfumier. For like $130 for 100ml. All sold out. It's only a summer course? Yeah, summer papers. Oh, right, okay. Summer papers.

Imagine the interest, like, when you think about your student loan. Yeah. And, like, if you were to go overseas or just, like, the length of time to pay off that. How much extra it's going to cost you. Yeah. When's it starting? Next year or something? I think so.

I think in the summer. We must come back to this and we should interview someone who did it. Who did it. And just be like, what? What did you learn? Yeah. Show us you're working.

Yeah. Let's see your notes. I guess it's just, if you're doing marketing and stuff, it would probably be like a bit of that. A bit of that. Something to learn. A bit of that.

Were the top six career prospects available for people who do Taylor Swift? The Taylor Swift paper at AUT is today's top six. The number six is the career prospect of going back to uni to study something worthwhile. That's your first career prospect. Yeah. Retrain. Yeah. Number five

on the list of the top six career prospects available for people who do the Taylor Swift paper, fangirl. Now that doesn't pay anything. It actually costs you quite a bit of money. Thousands. Yeah. So less of a career and more of a professionally qualified money spender.

But when you enter the country and you've got to fill in your little form and it says occupation. Fangirl. Fangirl. High fan Swift. Or fanboy. Or fanboy. Number four on the list of the top six career prospects, people who do the Taylor Swift paper at AUT, cult leader.

Actually. She's leading a cult over there. Yeah. She could do no wrong. So, and we'll teach you also how to start your own cult. Swifties will do whatever they say, whatever she says. I mean, yeah, kind of. It's a huge cult, isn't it?

Yep. Except they're not all drinking the G it's a huge cult, isn't it? Yep. Except they're not all drinking the Gatorade at the end. Or are they? Not yet. Is that to come? Yeah, that's to come.

Okay. I like it when they cry. You know, Swifties, when they cry, like a song comes on, they're like, ah!

At the shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, or when they just scream the lyrics terribly and ruin the experience for everybody around them. Oh, those videos are just... So hard to watch.

But it's a cult. It's a cult. Number three on the list of the top six career prospects for people who do the Taylor Swift paper at AUT, they could sell Suzuki Swifts. Not any other Suzuki.

Right, okay. Right. Because of the Swift name. Just the Swift. Okay. An expert of Swifts. A Swift dealer, if you will. Okay.

Number two on the list of the top six career prospects Available for people Who do the Taylor Swift Employee Sorry Paper at AUT Door to door salesperson

Oh yeah Why? It's annoying Do you know why For some they existed Because we moved rural Yeah I just forgot that people

Knock on your door And try to sell you shit Do they? Like expensive vacuum cleaners They still do Not really I live in an apartment building on your door and try to sell you shit. Do they? Like expensive vacuum cleaners. They still do. Not me. I live in an

apartment building. Yeah they can't get to you and you're a bit far out. You might get one every now and then. We don't even get the I was going to

say grizzles. We don't even get the Mormons or the Jehovah's Witness or anything. Yeah. They can smell the sin every now and

then we'll get a handwritten note in the letterbox. Oh about Jesus. About the return of Jesus. When's he'll get a handwritten note in the letterbox. Oh, about Jesus. About the return of Jesus. When's he coming back? Someone sits down. ASAP, babe.

He just keeps bumping us. Oh, okay, right. He is busy, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just keeps bumping us out a few more years. And number one on the list of the top six career prospects available for those that do the Taylor Swift paper at AUT, music store or employee. Because you know how there's music stores everywhere

that sell CDs and tapes on every corner. There's a Trax or a Sounds or a Marbex. Or a CD store. Yeah, you go in there and you go to the CD listening post and they can say, 1989's for you. Yeah. It's right up your alley.

That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Trying to think about the last time that I had a package or a little bit of secret shopping arrive and it stayed in my boot until I could sneak it into the house, put it on my rack, and then say, this, I've had it for ages, I just got it out of the garage. What, this old thing?

It's been a while. It's good when, because most of my wardrobe's black and so each black dress sack kind of could be interchangeable at this point. Aaron really never really notices. It does kind of beg the question if everything is a big black sack, why do you need so many of them?

Why do you need a new one? These idiots. Sorry women. They have no idea the subtle differences between a black sack and a new one. These idiots. These idiots. Sorry, women. They have no idea the subtle differences between a black sack and a black sack. Right.

Obviously. Obviously. They call it stealth shopping. Like stealth mode. So this, it's official name now. Official name. This is what we're referring

to it as. Stealth shopping is the act of concealing something you've bought from your significant other. Which has been, this has been an age old, ever since online shopping. Very much so. This has been age old.

Now this does not apply if you've bought them like a gift and you're hiding it. That's not stealth shopping. It's when you're getting it for yourself. Yeah. Okay. I think the hardest part of stealth shopping is definitely the incorporation of it into your life. Like this new item.

Like trying to justify how it's arrived, when it arrived. When is the last time you did this? Yeah, I'm just trying to think. Maybe, I didn't do much stealth.

Actually, no, I didn't do any stealth shopping when I was abroad. Yeah. In Italy. I was abroad in Italy. I was honest about all of that. What about, have you noticed anything with your wife, Vaughn? Any stealth shopping of late?

No, it's hard because she doesn't have a workplace to get them sent to. Yeah. So they have to get sent to the house. Yeah. And we've got a security camera that tells us every time someone comes up the driveway. So I can see the courier. So you can be like, what did you get? And I can say, what did the courier drop off today?

Oh, yeah. She's also a terrible liar. Oh, really? See, I've got a degree in acting. Yeah, she's like, nothing, something for serving.

Yeah, right. Succulent Chinese meal. No, mine is definitely, oh, he'll be like, oh, nice pink shirt. When did you get that? God, it was like years ago, I think. I can't remember.

I've never wore it. That looks new. And no, I've had this for ages. And then you feel the fabric and you can immediately tell if it's new. Yeah, you can. That has not been washed in our washing machine. Well, stealth shopping is the name that we're giving it. I'm not encouraging this kind of behaviour.

I think we should be very transparent with our life partners with our financial decisions. Somebody messaged in saying their trick is to buy second-hand tools because second-hand tools never look new. And you can say, I've had that for ages. But that would only work on tools. But then, like, you want the new shiny tool. Then you want shiny tools.

You want a new shiny tool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you really want it, that's a great way of getting away with it. Yeah. I don't know how you do this with something really identifiably new or something really bold that you're like, I've literally never seen that in my life. Yeah, like

the wife's like, why have you got a brand new shiny right on a lawnmower? We've never had one of those before. Oh yeah, it's just been in the garage. I've had it the whole time. I've had it for years. Alterations to our push-mow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a totally different brand. I've just been working on it. That thing is ginormous.

No, no, no, we did talk yesterday about the couple that found $232,000 in cash. Their sparky was in the ceiling space and he's like, what's this? Opens the bag, all this cash. What do we do with this? They handed it in to the police. Where is this? Where? In New Zealand.

So no details, though, like the couple. Yeah, no names, no locations. The house isn't named. It was tucked away in the insulation of their ceiling in five dusty vacuum-sealed plastic bricks. Oh, that is cocaine money, right? Okay, we didn't have that detail yesterday. We didn't have that detail yesterday.

That's got drugs written all over it. So if you know us, honey, you wouldn't be able to tell if a Sparky found a whole lot of money because they're always rich anyway. Why is your car nicer than mine? Yeah, I'm turning up in a new van, hey, yeah. Rolling out cash.

New Ranger. Oh, new Ranger. Yeah. Oh, new Ranger. So there was an interview on Radio New Zealand yesterday, and they've written a big article about this with Barrister Marie Dryberg, KC. Barista. Sorry, barista.

She's a barista. She makes coffees for the king. Why would they speak to a barista? KC says for the king's cafe. A barista. I mean. Well, she has all the gossoss because everybody always confines in there. No, but barrister, Marie Dryberg Casey.

And she had some interesting points about this. She said, if a person found an amount of cash in New Zealand under law, they're not legally obliged to report it. But there are several factors that you need to take into account. Yeah. Because it could be that, yeah.

This is my thing. I would be less concerned about, oh, what are the police going to say? Or what's the right legal thing to do here? I'm going, this is drug money. Someone scary probably knows that this is in my roof. And at one point, they're going to come looking for it. Yeah.

And I don't want to deal with them. Well, and that's something she said. She said, yeah, you may want to hand it over to the police because there may be circumstances whereby you can nonetheless be charged with theft and so forth. Oh, my. I didn't steal nothing. So, you just, yeah, I don't know.

It's not me, see. I didn't steal nothing. It's the looking over your shoulder all the time for whoever's money that is. Yes, yes. And then the moment you distribute your bank account and you start spending it, you're going to be like, oh. Yeah. Well, we asked you

for silly little poll. I saw quite a few of these polls on news websites yesterday. What would you do if you had $230,000 on your roof? Would you A, keep the cash, B, take some and then tell the police, and then C, alert the police and hand it all over? Hmm. Interesting. The least popular was take some and then tell the police.

At 14%, 19% would alert the police and hand it all over. 67% would keep the cash. I love that. Okay, some feedback. People say they'll take it, but me and my partner found $5,000 cash in a rental car and couldn't keep it if we tried when it came to it. We panicked.

That was from Monique. Monique, I'll say it. Your shit's weak. Model Compass. Your Model Compass is too strong. That's nice. That's going to pay for that rental car, get you a nicer little upgrade or two on your holiday.

That's easy come, easy go, baby. Because in my mind, it's like, oh, rich tourists, they can afford it. But then in my mind, oh, but what if it's a poor family and that's all their money for their holiday? Who gets all of their cash out? I'm sorry, you've got to learn the lesson. You're going to learn it the hard way. You lost all your money.

You'd take the money. Okay. Chaz said he couldn't take it because karma is a bitch. Plus, you couldn't hide slash deposit that into your bank account. You'd have to slowly spend it as cash, like you're money laundering. Ain't nobody got time for that. Oh, boo-hoo!

I don't have time to spend my cash on groceries and stuff. Also, that's only going to take like six months of grocery shopping to get rid of that cash. Oh, yeah.

You're going to have all the stamps at the end of it. Yes. Oh, yeah, the stamps. And you can have a $232,000 set of Systema containers.

Yeah, really nice, tight Systemas. Great way to launder your money. Yeah. Tom and Rach said, absolutely. take it, but I'm moving also because their mofos be coming back for that cash at some stage. Tom and Rach, I'm just interested in their Instagram profile. Well, they've got a joint Instagram.

Tom, Rach and Hank. I'm imagining Hank's some kind of dog. The dog, yeah. Joint Instagram. Interesting. Rach and Hank. But it might be a situation like your fiancé Aaron. Like, you don't, he doesn't use it.

Yeah, I know, but Hank is a car. He's not part of mine. Oh, okay. He's not part of my profile. He doesn't have access to it. Hank is a high-ace van. Oh, right, okay. And they travel around.

Oh, okay, so it's like a kind of traveling place. Well, that makes more sense. That's okay. Lifestyle vibe. I take it back. I thought it was like a, okay. So it's like a kind of travel influence. Well, that makes more sense. That's okay. Lifestyle vibe. I take it back. I thought it was like a, you know, Tom's been naughty and Rach has had enough of it. Keep an eye on them. They're nomadic, though.

That'd be perfect for the cash because they're on the road. Yeah, you guys, no one would even know. And you're always dealing in cash and you're spreading your cash around. You've got a really cute son, Tom and Rach. Anyway, I'm deep in their profile. Keep the cash and not tell a soul. Buy a VPN and find out the best way to launder the cash into my account. I know I pay a bit of tax, but cash money, baby.

Why aren't people just... Just spend it every day. Or spending this cash and then all the money that they usually spend on everything else. Save that. Yeah. I mean, there's some things you can't pay cash for, like your mortgage and that. Yeah. But what says...

Can you not pay your mortgage with cash? This is how I But what says, so you go to the- You cannot pay your mortgage with cash. Well, you could go to the bank and deposit it. I'd go to the casino and just be seen on the camera and then just be like celebrating. And people are like, why is he celebrating? He's not won anything. And then walk out with all this cash and be like, I had a big win at the casino.

Give us your performance. Give us your performance. Ready? Ready? Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. What? It's finally happened. The first time I've ever played pokies.

Check the camera. I've won. You've hit the poker camera. $232,000. Where's the camera? Whoa. Hey-oh. I'd spit down notes.

This is so weird. I thought it would come out of the corner. I mean, the camera's also picking up the poking machine that doesn't have any wind on it. Hey-oh. Yeah, no lights. No, I've got a poking machine that the camera can only see me and not the front of the pokey machine. There's cameras everywhere in a casino.

There's cameras everywhere, Vaughn. I'll find it. There'll be one. It's a terrible idea. I'll send my children in to scope. I'll send my kids in to scope. You can't bring your kids into the casino. Yeah.

Well, maybe that can cause a distraction by running in and playing the pokies, and then I'll be like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Okay. I think just keep workshopping how I make that money. Yeah, how I'm going to launder that cash. Michelle said, I'd love to keep it, but I'd be way too worried about someone would come

to try to get it back slash revenge, would hand it in to the police and hope to get it given back when nobody claims it. You won't. But then there's going to be someone who's on the inside of the police, right? If I've watched enough TV shows, there's a crooked cop.

Yeah. Who tells the gang member for a payoff who has their money because that'll be officially on record if you claim it back after three months

in the last property. Oh, yeah. They should donate it. I think you're just going to have to move to Costa Rica or something. I mean, with $230,000, I'm all right.

Oh, no. I'm going to have to go to Thailand. Oh, no. Oh, no. I watched way too many crime shows to know that later on it would come back and cause a lot of problems. 100%.

Yeah. Yeah. This is like literally the start of movies and TV shows. Oh, yeah. Like this is how it all goes downhill. I don't want to get involved with gangs and scary people. Megan said, my husband and I had this debate coming from a criminal law background. I wouldn't want to keep it all awesome,

knowing that it's gang drug money and they'd eventually come back and find you and want that money back. Yeah. I'd take a unique app. Yeah. Surely that understands the situation. They're very understandable. Gangs.

Yeah. Very understandable. Hey, gang guy, gang guy. Do a payment plan. What are you going to do? Yeah. I did what you would do. Do you take after pay?

Maybe we could sort this out. We could lay by me giving this back to you. I purchased the house and everything that's in it. That's my money now. Yeah. Also, I want to know this couple that are fighting to keep the money now from the Crown, from us New Zealanders. Is that our money?

I mean, it's kind of like us versus them now, right? I could do with a slither. Yeah. Are they paying for a lawyer? Because that's going to eat into this $232,000. Very quickly. Lawyers are not cheap. Very quickly. Or are they like AI representing themselves? Because that's going to eat into this $232,000. Very quickly. Lawyers are not cheap. Very quickly.

Or are they like AI representing themselves? I don't know. Someone just text messaged in. They said, I'd keep it. And then blamed the electrician when someone came asking. I've got no idea what you're talking about. Oh my God, the Sparky. You're going to throw the Sparky out of the bus?

Who was honest in the first place and said, jeez, what's this? Yeah. How long, this couple, how long did it take them from when the Sparky left to calling the police? That's what I want to know. You would have sat

face to face, right? There was a discussion. What are we going to do? There was a discussion. There was this exact discussion, right? Yeah. Someone else texts,

I'd move house, but I'd keep it. Yeah, I would sell the house. I'd flip it and move. But you can track that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's all publicly listed. It's all public knowledge when you buy or sell a house. It's got your name. This might take a while

to launder the money this way, but someone said there was a local lady who used to sell drugs. She'd take all the money to the pub, pump it all into the pokies, then not even play the pokies, just press collect. The pokies wouldn't split the money back out, it would print a ticket and the bar person

would come and give them all the money in a receipt. Yeah, right. So fresh and so clean. Classic laundering there. That's some classic laundering. Lovely little bit of laundering. Yes.

Are we going to get in trouble next for telling people how to launder money? Do you want to balance this out by saying something sensible? Well, we're certainly not encouraging anyone to launder money

or to sell drugs or keep cash. You know the minute all that money's in the pokies, you're not going to be able to help yourself. You push a button. You push a button. Max bet.

Max bet. 25 lines. Max bet. Well, I cannot believe that most people would keep the money. That is wild. Thank you for being honest with us. Yeah, I like that people are honest. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM's. Last night Oh The final of Taskmaster New Zealand Season 5 Yeah People love Taskmaster It's watched all over the world I know People absolutely love it

Especially the UK They love the Kiwi version They just love our humour And you tell you what When I was asked to do it I was really excited but my biggest concern was that I was, my competitive nature was going to come out and I would

lose and I would be a sore loser even though... And have that fake smile on where you're like, I'm so happy for her. Yeah, that one. Well, if you don't know already, the winner of Taskmaster NZ and joining us live in studio, Hayley Sproul. Welcome to the studio, Hayley Sproul. Oh my God, thank you so much for having me as the winner of Taskmaster Season 5.

A game show that is made up of completely nonsensical tasks and the points really don't matter at all. So winning is a very strange feeling. Yeah, I did. I wanted to win. And do you know what? Everyone knew it on the panel as well. You want to win, don't you? And I tried to do that thing where I was like, I'm here to actually just have fun.

I'm more than happy to be the quirky character that everybody loves. I'll just be the underdog. I don't want to be the quirky character that everybody loves. Yeah. I'll just be the underdog. But never gets the points. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to be the boring one that just chases points. Yeah.

If you watched the episode last night, though, it was really close. Like, the points are so silly, but it was really close. And then we had to do a live challenge live on stage, and I botched it. I, like, stuffed it up. You had to take an item off the table, and the whole thing came toppling down. I was like, oh, I've stuffed it. I've lost it. item off the table and the whole thing came toppling down I was like oh I've stuffed it I've lost it but I had like

one point enough to be the winner winner chicken dinner right your girls are really into this season actually yeah can we talk about this

they as a family we've loved the last few seasons of Taskmaster I think they were too young in the first couple maybe but the last three seasons I've been really into.

Yeah. So you shared on your social media that you as a family were sitting down to watch the final. Yeah. And

because did you know that I won? Did you know that I won? I knew. Yeah. But they didn't. They didn't. I had an inkling.

Yes, because you came to a recording. Yeah, I went to watch episode eight. Nine. Nine, so the episode before, and you were leading the points table. Yes, I was, so you suspected. And I was like, oh, Hayley's never going to tell me because she's signed a really strict NDA,

and I'll obviously never find out. And I didn't tell anyone, of course not. And you didn't tell anybody. No, I didn't tell you and Orville. Of course, I was quite surprised last night when you won. Yes, I know, having watched every episode yourself and followed along with great interest. But you shared, Vaughan, that your daughter August had made a sign.

Yeah, she was just sitting up there and we knew she had paper and pencils. And at the end of it, I found it on the ground because she was upset her favourite Abby Hales didn't win. Wow. It was like, team Abby, go Abby, Abby for the win. Yeah, she was a big Ray O'Leary fan last season. She likes the people who just kind of like lose their mind in the task and just

quirk out. She's got a good sense of humour. Yeah, Abby was definitely her favourite this season. She was very disappointed. And then when you said, why not Hayley as in friend of the family? Yeah, I thought, you know. Genuine friend. We won't say Aunty Hayley, that's probably going a bit far. Oh yeah, why not Hayley as in friend of the family? Yeah, I thought, you know. Genuine friend. We won't say Auntie Hayley.

That's probably going a bit far. Oh, yeah. Why not Auntie Hayley? Why wasn't she supporting Hayley? I said, didn't you want Hayley to win? She was like, oh, well, when Hayley won. No, she always comes around here, drinks too much, stays too long. I was just like, you're worn out, you're welcome. Stay too long, drink too much, too loud.

Loud. Hasn't been around lately though because the spa's not fixed. I wonder why the spa's not fixed. Anyway, if you haven't watched this season, winning's not really, guys it's nothing and I just want you to know that I'm remaining humble as the winner of season five.

But if you want to watch the season, it's not spoiled by knowing that I win it. Yeah. It's on TVNZ Plus, I think. Yeah. Catch up. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Yesterday, I was walking to the gym and I saw somebody ride past slowly, well under

the speed limit on a really cool motorcycle. And I don't look at motorbikes and think, oh, that's a cool motor. What kind of motorcycle? Kawasaki Ninja, Street Dude cool or Harley Cruiser cool? I think it was a Harley Davidson. It was black. It was like jet black. It was like real cool.

With the cool handlebars that go like that or ones that you kind of grip on down low. But then the guy on it was driving real slow and was kind of like dressed in like, I don't know, like cords. Oh, no. He was in cords on a Harley Davidson. And then like a T-shirt. And I was just like, you don't suit that motorbike. Yeah, I know what you mean. Like I was like, you don't look like, and the fact that they were driving really slow and careful

on this really expensive, fast motorbike. Because usually you've got to have a lot of confidence to ride a bike like that. And you've got your leathers on, or some jeans and boots at least. Like, you see these celebrities like Jess and Momoa riding his motorbike. I know.

Yeah, he suits it. Or Keanu Reeves on his motorbike. A gang procession. Yeah. That's what they like to be called. A parade of gang affiliates. Yeah. A gaggle of gangers.

And they're all like, rum, rum, rum, rum. Yeah. Behind the Harleys and then one of them just opted for a Kawasaki Ninja. Yeah.

And he's like, re-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne. Yeah. But they always look like they're showing a little bit of individuality. But this guy look like they're showing a little bit of individuality. But this guy was like, you don't suit this. And this is the question I wanted to ask is,

is there something that you've tried out that you don't suit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like maybe you've caught a reflection or you've just kind of stepped back and thought, it's not me. This is not what I reckon.

A lot of men need to recognize what? Just cause it looked good on Thomas Shelby and the Peaky Blinders. It's not me. This is not me. Do you know what I reckon a lot of men need to recognise? What? Just because it looked good on Thomas Shelby in the Peaky Blinders. Cheese cutter. It's not for you. Not for you, dog. Or vests. Vests.

Yeah, yeah. Just check. Just have a real... Just a check. Okay. I wonder if there would be a lot of men as well with a buzz cut or a bald head, you know, that maybe gave it a go.

Because you guys both suit being bald, and thank God. Thank God. The first time you shaved buzz cut or a bald head, you know, that maybe gave it a go. Because you guys both suit being bald and thank God. The first time you shave your head as a bald brother and you look and you're like, that's a horrible shape. Or you're like, we're going to be okay. But I wonder if some people were like, right, I'll make the move. And then it did.

And then just went, oh my God. Well, at least it does. That's life. Whether it was something you bought and tried out, or whether it was a hobby or something that you got into. Producer Jared, this happened to you? You didn't suit something? Yeah. In high school, I thought I'd try out water polo.

And I'm a short, skinny dude. I can swim. Yeah. I'm a good swimmer, but it just wasn't for me. So what did you look like? Did you have that funny hat with the air protectors? The funny hat with the plastic air cups. I had two pairs of navy blue Speedos with my name on the back.

Why did you have two? You had to wear two because the girls in the other team would, like, scratch you and claw you. Yeah, claw your balls. It's really ruthless. Water polo. There's great things. Co-ed water polo. Yeah, claw your balls. It's really ruthless. Water polo. There's great things. Co-ed water polo. Yeah, it was co-ed.

It was co-ed. I'd nip them in the boobie. I can see why Jared played water polo. I can see why teenage Jared had two pairs of undies on. Someone was on in the height of excitement. Pressure. Yeah, because if those girls were pulling out, you know, they were scratching and stuff,

there might be a boobie come loose. There could be a couple of loosey boobies. So you were in Speedos and the cute little water polo hat and you were like, I just don't suit this whole thing. Yeah, dude. Like my mouth was underwater because I've just started playing. I could barely tread water enough to keep above. His tie's tucking out.

There's not enough of you to float. Nah, I'm not a floater. Do you know what a lot of women will agree with? Like non-skinny jeans. They've just been ripped away from us skinny jeans. We're not allowed to wear them anymore. Apparently they're old. But I don't suit a baggy jean.

I just don't suit them. Yeah. One, I fill them out a little bit too much. Do you know what I mean? They're not baggy. But I just can't do it. We're asking what you tried out, but you didn't suit. 0800-DANCE-IT-EMERSON-NUMBER.

I read you perhaps one of the most delightful messages we've ever received. It misses the mark, but it's so cute. I tried toasting marshmallows, but my marshmallow and stick caught on fire as I loaded it into the campfire. It wasn't for me. How darling is that? That's real cute. Gave it a try, and it didn't work.

And it didn't work. I see. Talking about this, because I saw a guy riding a motorbike yesterday. He didn't suit riding a motorbike. No. I was like, this just looks wrong. Maybe a Vespa for him?

He looked like a Vespa rider. Yeah. Yeah. May we suggest that you could have gone up to him and been like, excuse me, my dude, and good on you for getting your motorcycle's license, but perhaps a Vespa. Perhaps a Vespa.

Yeah. Yeah. What a kickespa. Yeah. What a kick in the guts that'd be. I know. Saved up or ticked up this motorbike. You're like, I'm just learning to ride. Someone's like tapping on your helmet. You flip out the visor like, dude, you're a Vespa guy. Yeah, you don't suit this.

You scrawny loser. So you can text in 9696 0800 DARSS at M. What did you try out but you didn't suit? Long, flowy type skirt with a tucked in T-shirt. Oh, yeah. I love the look and it was very comfortable. But every time I saw myself, I looked like a four-year-old

that grandma had dressed and tucked her T-shirt right in. So her T-shirt wouldn't go like that. A lot of people are saying the mum jean look. Oh, yeah, they can't get into it. Skinny jeans till I die. I can't believe- Well, we'll be peeling them off your cold, dead corpse. You know, it's so horrible how you see it way more with women.

They just get bullied by the younger generation. Men are just like, I don't care. Some guy's like, oh, dude, we're not wearing skinny jeans and t-shirts anymore. Dude's like, shut up, punk. Women are like, yeah, I'll wear what I want, thanks, and go home and I, I didn't get a whole new wardrobe. A 20-year-old said something.

You know, we're hearing from, and we are, the preferred show of lesbian New Zealanders. Good morning to our lesbian listeners. Number one radio show. Number one international radio show for lesbians. Yes. Around the world. I think we've had about six lesbian texts.

Yeah. Tried men wasn't for me. Someone said willies are scary. Willies are very scary, they said. Don't be scared of a willy. They can't hurt you. Karate chop them. They're very, you know, they're a bit more bark than bite.

I don't know what I'm saying. Help me out here. Don't just look at me. We do. You're the loudest. I'm like a lesbian. I, I don't know what I'm saying. Help me out here. Don't just look at me. No, we don't. We don't. We don't. Like a lesbian, I've got very little experience with a willy. Yeah.

I turn to two professionals for help, and they just leave me floundering here on the floor. Good luck. I come from the low-rise skinny jeans generation, and I can't cope with the high waist. Well, don't then. Yeah. I like this, and I need to know more, and I won't say why the high waist. Well, don't then. I like this and I need to know more

and I won't say why I need to know more. My husband is six foot seven inches and 130 kgs. From that I need to know more if we've got an accompanying picture. Never wears long pants, but he loves a crisp apple herbal tea and a stage show. Doesn't suit him. Right, doesn't suit him.

I love that. He's sitting there Massive man Tried pole dancing Classes for fun Ended up with Way too many Suspicious Don't know why

I have to Suspicious Way too many Suspicious bruises For my job as a lawyer Oh okay Oh yeah It's not for you

I also feel like I wouldn't I wouldn't look cool Doing it You know you see The girls on Instagram Doing pole dancing You're like yeah man

You look cool Do you know they Never have the girls on Instagram doing pole dancing. You're like, yeah, man, you look cool. Do you know they never have the sound on, though? Because of the squeakies. Because they wrap a leg around it and they start spinning around the pole. And it's like, squeak, squeak, squeak. Yeah, when you're a kid and you go do the fireman's pole. You can't get a fireman's pole anywhere now, can you? They're very dangerous. Do they not have them?

It's the fastest way to get down. No, but it's dangerous. The firemen still have the firemen's. The fire people. The fire people. I don't know if the fire people. See, when you say fireman, I'm imagining someone putting out fires. When I say fire people, I'm imagining any gender setting fires.

Oh, okay. Fire fighter. Twisted fire starters of a sort. Of all and any genders. Any gender setting fires. Oh, okay. Fire fighter. Twisted fire starters of a sort. Of all and any genders. Somebody said, okay, I tried a Vespa and it wasn't for me. What do I go to next? Motorcycle.

Walking. The bus. Maybe you're a Harley Davidson type. Maybe you're a public transport person. Maybe you're a Mazda 2 kind of person. Mazda 2. Sensible. Sensible. Sensible.

Economical. Economical. Corolla even. Somebody said, I once cycled to the Coromandel from Auckland. Halfway through, I realised cycling

wasn't for me. My wife had to come and pick me up. It would have to be so bad for you not to cycle home, right? Yeah.

I'm too stubborn. I'd be like, I said I was going to do this. That's a long way. Also, shouldn't you be building up to something like that? Yep. Yep. I reckon you probably should. Yeah.

Someone said finding things they do suit would be a much shorter list. Oh, there's got to be something. You've just got to find your- You've just got to keep trying, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Somebody said, sorry, but nobody looks good on a Vespa. Oh, we're not coming for Vespas. You were recently in Italy.

Have you been to Italy? Italians are great on Vespas. Hot. And I love riding a Vespa around like Thailand, Bali. White shirt, open. Yes, tan. Linen, tan. Little hairy chest.

A little discreet gold. Gold chain. Gold chain. Slight pepper in the beard. I'm all for helmets. You know, I'm a helmet guy. But I'll say, if we're trying to describe a sexy Vespa driver, no helmets,

five o'clock shadow, grey hair, some sunglasses. A loafer of sorts. A boat shoe. A loafer, yeah. They should rename boat shoes Vespa shoes. Vespa shoes. Vespa slip-ons. Yeah. Someone said I tried being fat. Didn't suit me.

Wouldn't recommend. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I was emceeing a big corporate convention conference thing. Right. For a big Australian insurance broker network. Breakfast is on her then. Bit of cash in that guy. Yeah. Are we doing our Friday breakfast? Yeah, man. Breakfast is on her then. Bit of cash in that guy. Yeah, are we doing our Friday breakfast?

Yeah, man, breakfast on me. Okay, breakfast on Hayley. Breakfast on me. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up.

We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. We're going to cash it up. Yeah, okay.

You know. But it was very interesting. So Monday was like the, yeah, Monday was the opening and then Tuesday was this like big day. You've got speakers and oh my God, I have to say, I listened to Gilbert Onoka. If you don't know his name, he's got an ONZM, ONZM, hashtag FVHZM.

What is it? A Queen's Merit. And he worked with the All Blacks for 25 years as their mindset coach. Oh, okay. And he came with the All Blacks for 25 years as their like mindset coach. Oh okay. And he came and he spoke and it was absolutely amazing. Is that why you've come to work today with a new attitude? Not only a to-do list

a to-be list. Oh a to-be list. Oh my god he was amazing. Like less of a bitch? What? To be or not to be more or less of a bitch. I love how shocked you are because you Or not to be. More or less of a bitch. I love how shocked you are.

Because you're not a bitch. That was good from you. But it was good, eh? He talked about, like, you've got your to-do list. The next year to-do list, you should have a small to-be list of how you're going to be in the world. To be. More patient and less of a bitch.

Do it. Like, the minute someone said that to me, I'd be like... No, no, no. He is a hard yak, a Kiwi bloke who just... Anyway, this is a side step. That does sound interesting. I really loved listening to him.

But it was that kind of thing. You know, they had business people coming in and talking. Then they had some motivational people. They did activities, all this kind of stuff. This is why you're never going to be running a business, Vaughan. Nah, bull. Because you don't want to learn about this kind of stuff. Be where your feet are.

That was his other thing. Of course I'm going to be where my feet are. They're up. I'm up. I'm chilling. Your head's elsewhere. Vaughan's literally got his feet on another chair. My feet are reclined.

Anyway, so I was hosting all of this. And then Tuesday night. I didn't come up with a saying yesterday. Oh. Come on, motivation. I love coming up with little sayings. None of them really take off. A couple did, and then I feel like I just came up with them

the same time somebody else did, and they kind of owned it. You don't bother the king about the carnival. That's what I said. Someone messaged me asking if they'd won the Akoya Prize And I said, you don't bother the king about the carnival Because I'm the king And the carnival's a fun thing that's happening But nothing to do with me

I'm the king I got big fish to fry Why didn't you just say something like, thanks for your inquiry Because I'm the king and you don't bother the king about the carnival Mark it Vaughan Smith, September 2024. No, I'm just Googling it to make sure it's not already a thing, a saying. It's a stupid

saying. It's a rad saying. You don't bother the King about the carnival. It's fun. Sure, by all means, you look forward to it, but I'm the King, I don't worry me. Don't bother me about it. No, it's not a saying. You've done well there. Feel free to use that one. Anytime anyone asks you about anything and you can't be bothered dealing with it because it confuses them and it'll give you enough time to walk away. Don't bother the King it. No, that's not a saying. You've done well there. Feel free to use that one. Anytime anyone asks you about anything and you can't be bothered dealing with it

because it confuses them and it'll give you enough time to walk away. Don't bother the... Don't bother the king about the carnival. Okay, I like that. That is good. It just feels like light plagiarism. Like, you know, what's the one about the lion?

A lion doesn't bother about... Yeah, he's changed two words. ...the opinions of sheep. The subject and the... That's literally what you're saying. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's completely different. That's like saying, oh, someone said this, no, no, no. That's completely different. That's like saying,

oh, someone said this about you. Well, the lion's not concerned with the opinions of the sheep. Very similar. But this is very similar. What's the story with this fun thing? Yeah. That I'm...

That is fun for me, but not inconsequential to you. No. You don't have a similar thing about the carnival. Shannon's just asked if we want to put on a horse. It's not going on a horse. Yeah, no. It's not a motivational calendar.

It is. It is a motivational calendar quote. Anyway, so I got back. Tuesday night, they finished the activities for the day, and then that night, they all went out on the town. And they apparently, they just had this massive night down in the Auckland viaduct, all these Aussie insurance brokers. What?

Anyway, so as you know, on Tuesday. Aussie's getting on it. Yeah. Who'd have thunk it? On Tuesday, as you know, I woke up really early and I was really unwell. And so I, you know, didn't come to hang out with you guys. And then when I got there, I had to go and do this MC thing. So I was like, oof, pull myself together.

And I walked in and I was a little bit late, which is bad. And the organiser of the event looks at me and she goes, well, well, well. Yeah. I heard you had a big night. And I was like, oh, maybe she's listened to ZM and heard that you guys mentioned I'm unwell or something like that. And she goes, well, who was out on the viaduct last night at 2am buying rounds of shots for these insurance brokers? I said, sorry? Not me, I believe that's when I vomited.

When my vomiting started. Lying on the floor. And so a whole group of people believed that they were out with Hayley Sproul, the MC of this event, from Taskmaster New Zealand and from, have you been paying attention, Australia? She's famous.

They were out with her. Jesus, listing her accomplishments. Oh my God, you should have heard that. I'm barely even scratching the surface. I'm not sure they were out with her. Jesus, listing her accomplishments. I'm barely even scratching the surface. I'm so lucky for me to be there. Winner of season five. You don't bother the king about the carnival. Oh, shut up. It's not working.

That works here too. Anyway, apparently they were out at a bar with someone that they thought was Hayley Sprout and they were saying to her, oh, you're the MC of the event. Da da da da da. And this chick was like, oh, okay. It wasn't me of the event, da-da-da-da-da. And this chick was like, oh, okay. It wasn't me. I wasn't out at all.

What, you've got a doppelganger? Yeah, so then I went up on stage to start the morning. I said, good morning, everyone. How was your night out? I heard that someone got kicked out of Danny Doolin's. And I went into it and I said, by the way, who was out with me last night? And this whole table was like, whoo! And I was like, like guys it wasn't me

and they genuinely didn't realise. They were like huh? And they thought that it was me this whole time. Who was she? Was she someone at the conference or was she just some random insurance brokers? And then to be fair I was like that wasn't me. Someone else and I said well you're welcome for the drinks but I didn't buy them for you. I wasn't

out at all. They were so shocked that they'd been out with this person and then someone found her they're like this is her and i looked and i approached her she had this like blonde hair low bun stunning around stunning beautiful 10 out of 10 yeah perkier but yeah you know it was the only difference better why didn't she look like you she straight up looked like me was she straight up i was like was that confronting yeah i was like i actually get this i get it have you ever seen someone in public that kind of looks like She straight up looked like me Was she straight up dead? I was like Was that confronting? Yeah I was like I actually get this I get it

Have you ever seen someone in public That kind of looks like you? And you're just like This is weird The dude that moved in Over the road from us He's got the same lawnmower as me We're out on the side of the road

Bald dude with a beard And I looked at him And he looked at me And we're just like I think we're friends I guess we kiss now Do we meet in the middle of this now? Do we kiss now?

Do we kiss? Do we kiss? Did you kiss? Yeah, we kissed. Because I kissed her. I kissed my doppelganger. Yeah, I think you've got to kiss your doppelganger otherwise they steal your soul, right?

Yeah. It's how it works. I can't wait to see her again. Well, she's an Olympic athlete, a dame, and now a published children's author. Lisa Carrington is in studio. Good morning. Good morning.

Thanks for having me. Thank you for coming in to talk about your book, Lisa Carrington Chases a Champion, in both English and today-o. Yeah, I'm really excited for you guys to have them. This is in a different cover, too, so you've got the whole collector's vibe. People are going to have to get both. The illustrations, do you call them illustrations? I was going to say Joyce Scott-pessons. The illustrations, do you call them illustrations? I was going to say,

the illustrations are incredible. Yeah, they're amazing. I think my parents look exactly like them. That's what I was going to say. Is this like, does your dad still have the moustache? He doesn't, but I'm sure he'll grow it back.

Yeah. Also, Vaughn thinks he's in. I am. I'm in one of these pictures. There's someone in a raglan tee. This is, because you grew up in Ohopet. I'm in one of these pictures. There's someone in a raglan tee. This is, because you grew up in Ohope. This is like the beach where I holidayed

as a child. Tell me that kid in the background isn't me. Glasses, raglan tee, that's when I had hair. Brown hair. That's Vaughn. I mean, you sort of nerdy demure. I would have been up the front being like, yep. You would have been maybe three, I think. So I don't think actually.

We do have a slight age difference. Yeah, I think this is, might not be you. I mean, you can see yourself in any character

in that book. You could even see yourself in me, right? Yes. I see myself as a real Rob Waddell. Now,

in one of these, you're lifting a hundred kgs with one arm. Yeah. As an eight yearyear-old. Insane. It says in the bag,

and here's some things you might not know about Lisa. How much weight can you pick up in one arm or bench press? And so Fletch and I were saying, is that you bench press and pick it up with one arm? No, yeah, that's just bench pressing. That's bench pressing 100 kgs. Yeah. Amazing.

That's so impressive. Also, I do take... I just do those little ones. Favorite food meal, Asian fusion food, especially Thai red curry. I'd say there's not a lot of fusion about that. That's just straight up Thai dish. Yeah, you're right. Depending on it.

Depending on it. So this follows an eight-year-old Lisa Carrington. Is that when this dream begun? Is that why it's eight-year-old you in this book? No, I think when I think, when I think about when I was younger, I think eight years old kind of is the age that I think of. And also

the book is designed for that kind of age as well. So those are kind of the earliest memories I have of starting to do sport and start enjoying it and get a little bit competitive. Yeah. And your brothers are in this as well.

There's a garage scene where you're all like working out and your brother's talking about his quads. Was that sort of like an actual memory? Was your brother like showing off about his quads? Yeah. I mean, my brother, he's a personal trainer. So he really would approve. I think that's who he was when he was that age.

Anyone in your family a slob? Gold medalist, personal trainer. Sheesh, does anybody just like, just chill? Play PlayStation a lot. Did you actually have like the vision board? Is this like reflective of how you rocked it as a kid? Yeah, I mean, obviously it's adjusted for today. But yeah, I think it's so important as

a kid to kind of, I probably, I didn't really know what I was doing. It was just kind of cutting out magazines, putting goals down. Yeah. Probably some like spelling goals in there too, but yeah, it's, I guess that's kind of techniques to kind of help you know, adults even, you know, and kids

to go for something to have a dream, to have a goal. Yeah. This is, and so on the vision board, I've got to ask because there's a golden retriever here. Is this Colin's contribution to the, is this Air Bud? Yeah, that's who he wants to be, right? He wants to be Air Bud.

Yeah. Rugby Bud. Colin's a part of it. Yeah. Love that. Colin. How is Colin? He's good.

Colin's good? Yeah. This is your dog. Yeah. Sorry. Colin is your dog Yeah, sorry Colin Colin, your dog Yeah

I'd say he's missing me right now Yeah Well, Fletch has a cat called Murray And you have a dog called Colin So everyone around here It's important to have human names for animals It really makes them part of the family Yeah

And tell us It's pretty cool to see Released simultaneously With a different cover The Today-O version than part of the family. Yeah. And tell us, like, it's pretty cool to see released simultaneously with a different cover, the Te Reo version, because you're on your own Te Reo, like, journey. Yeah, that's right. So with my publisher, Huia, they translated the Te Reo version. And so it was so important to me that, you know,

I could reach every kid, every home in New Zealand. So, and, you know, being Māori, it's part of my heritage. And, yeah, I absolutely, I home in New Zealand. So, and, you know, being Maori, it's part of my heritage. And yeah, I absolutely, I am on my journey to speaking te reo. So yeah, it's a long one, but I now have a little bit more time. Yeah. Yep. When you're not training this much. It's hard to do Duolingo when both your hands are holding paddles the whole time.

Oh, that's it. It's not Maori on Duolingo when both your hands are holding paddles the whole time. That's it. It's not Maori on Duolingo. I thought, is there? Maori had gone on one. Was it that or Babbel? I haven't been on it for so long. Once I long it, it's going to neg me every day to do it. How's that Spanish going, puppy?

No bueno. No bueno. So the Olympics obviously have just finished. Were they your favourite ones? Pick a favourite Olympics. That's quite tough. I think they're all really special. Because you've been to so many of them.

Yeah, I thought I was only ever going to be able, I didn't even know if I could go to one to start with or even make a New Zealand team. So I think Paris was incredible. I think what we managed to do in the K4, that's incredible. Being the first country outside of Europe to win a gold medal in the K4, I think that is a dream. And then to win all medals, all three.

So yeah, a lot of work went in. But I mean, I don't want, you know, like, who's your lot of work went in. Yeah. But I mean, I don't want, you know, like who's your favourite kid? Like, well, not that I have any.

I was just going to ask which is the best medal. Oh yeah. Which of the gold medals at the different Olympics? Oh yeah, which is the night, because we saw Finn's gold medal.

Pretty cool design, this medal. Yeah. With the French. And it had a bit of the Eiffel Tower in it. Like, that's cool. You've got a bit of the Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, like I think they try to outdo each other every Olympics. I mean, in London, that was the first time we had the really big, heavy medal.

And that's got a bit of a Spice Girl in it, I believe. Yeah, the closing was great. Yeah, yeah. So, then LA. I mean, everybody's asking

whether or not you're going to go for LA. I don't even want to ask. How do you have the energy? Because I just, like, look at you do the Olympics after Olympics. I'm like,'s asking whether or not you're going to go for LA. I don't even want to ask. How do you have the energy? Because I just like, look, you do the Olympics after Olympics. I'm like, you must be so tired. Like, it's hard enough just to go to work and do nothing instead of the desk. Yeah, I mean, doing what we do is, you know, striving to be better every day.

But I guess it's kind of, it's enjoyable. You've got to find what you enjoy out of it. The challenge, I love getting better, even if it's the smallest bit every day. So yeah, I think the next little, I don't know, next few months, I'm just kind of, I really just want to reminisce in an awesome Paris Olympics,

hang out with family that I don't really get to spend a lot of time with and energy with and friends. And then, yeah, like I want to make a really good decision going forward and I've got to be prepared and understand what the next phase or what it looks like for me. So, yeah, I think it's... I mean, you already have more gold medals in a lot of countries. Like, have you looked at that list of countries that don't have any? Oh, no. Yeah, there's a big list.. Like, have you looked at that list of countries that don't have any? Oh, no.

Yeah, there's a big list. Selfish, right? You could go on holiday to Aruba and be like, I've got more medals than you. They've got none. Significantly more medals

than Aruba. Significantly more, yeah. He's more than Aruba. Yeah. You could do all the countries from the Beach Boys song. Yeah. No, Jamaica had lots.

Jamaica had lots of sprinting medals. Skip them. Skip them. Skip them. Also, when you're booking aing medals. They do. They do. They do. Skip them. Also, when you're booking a plane ticket, do you, on the pull-down menu,

select Dame? Only if I want to try and get an upgrade. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Good.

Good for you. There it is. There's the Bay of Plenty girl. Yeah. Still trying to get a free upgrade. Yeah, still love free stuff. Yeah.

Love free stuff. Love an upgrade. Well, you can get the books now. They're out. Yep. Lisa Carrington get a free upgrade. Yeah, still love free stuff. Yeah. Love free stuff, love an upgrade. Well, you can get the books now. They're out. Yep. Lisa Carrington Chase is a champion. And we've said the illustrations are amazing. Like, I've been through it multiple times in both English and today.

I don't speak today, but I've been reading through it. And you spot something different in the pictures every time. I like that about a picture book. And that makes it re-readable for adults. Yeah. Because when they get to spot something on the 8000th read

with their kids something different they haven't spotted the other time Dame Lisa Carrington thank you for coming in yeah thank you for having me guys

well if you missed the show yesterday a quick recap and one of the most uncomfortable situations and conversations I've ever had in my life, someone at the gym told me, someone that works there told

me, when I was finished, that they walked past me just as I was finishing and I was producing a body odour. So, how did they say this to you? They broached the subject, how you doing really well? You've been in it a lot lately, you go real hard out. Oh, do you know, you put, you put, you scratched

your head before and I looked at your bicep and I was like, that's hot. I thought you were hot for a second, Vaughn. Well, lately. You go real hard out. Oh, do you know, you scratched your head before and I looked at your bicep and I was like, that's hot. I thought you were hot for a second, Vaughn. Well, he sweats. He goes hard out. I go hard out. He's been going hard. We're proud.

You remember Smith's sports shoes? Go hard out. I don't know. Adjust that and put my name in it somehow because my name's Smith. Vaughn Smith goes hard out. He goes hard out. He goes hard out.

He goes hard out. So I go hard out. I can't believe you because you were working hosting this conference. I was working and you sent an invoice note thing so I missed it and then we started chatting about something else. In a weird

twist of events, Fletch set my mind at ease. Fletch was sympathetic. Did he? Was he? He was sympathetic. How very proud of him I was. It's not usually his forte. It's not at all his forte. No. It's whatever the opposite of a forte is. So she came up and she was like, ooh, stinky, stinky. And not so many words. No. It's whatever the opposite of a forte is. So she came up

and she was like, ooh, stinky, stinky. And not so many words. Yeah. And then I just had a sort of a mild crisis. My wife assures me, are you wiping your chin because I've got something on my face? No, no, I've got a pimple coming. See, now that's me for everything. Look at you, you're insecure.

I think I said in the 20 years I've known you, I've never once thought know I'm insecure. I think I said in the 20 years I've known you, I've never once thought, poo, yuck. I've never smelled you. I consulted my longest time friend who I've been friends with since like 1994 and he's like, dude, never in my life have I thought you smell. Wait, so you went to- I went to my wife and she's like, you know I tell you I smell. And my mum was like, I would 100% because I saw my mum that night.

My mum was just like- I tell Aaron all the time, did you put deodorant on? No. Well, you have to go and do that now. Like if he works on the house and he just has forgotten, I'm like, no, dude, that's not how it works. You stay. Always.

And yeah, my mum was like, oh, I would 100% tell you. Because my mum was always like, you brush your teeth? My mum was straight up, you'll just get out of bed. Mum would be like, brush your teeth? I'm like, I haven't, no. You'll have a coffee first. Hardly breathed. So yeah, it'll happen.

I am now not only putting on the standard deodorant, but also a spray. Oh, no. I'm very worried. I'm very worried. And you went and got all new gym gear? Yesterday I Googled and I needed that dry work stuff and I can't do T-shirts at the gym because I go hard out.

You wear a singlet, man. I'm a singlet man. Got to have the breathe. Imagine how smelly I'd be if my armpits weren't breathing in a singlet. Oh, my God. Pungent. So I went to the warehouse because I don't like spending money. They've got good active wear.

I never wear it anywhere apart from the gym. That should actually be their tagline, the warehouse, because you don't like spending money. Why? Why spend more money than you need to? We've probably got it. It's got some living prices out there. Yeah.

So I've got $7 singlets. Yeah. Made of that dry working stuff. Perfect. Yeah. And some shorts. Because you know I don't like wearing undies at the gym. Yeah, you don't.

So I need the shorts with the like, not the tog lining because that will great one scrotum. You need a light mesh. Light mesh. Yeah. It's a light mesh. Light mesh. Yeah, it's a light mesh. Tight knit. It's a tight knit mesh. There are those. Got some new socks.

All new gear. So we're going fresh gear. Fresh gear. Fresh D.O. So I'm at the warehouse and I'm picking it out. I'm taking some time and I'm trying to learn

and this lady comes up to me and doesn't say like hello. Leans in and goes, nah, you smell fine. Because she'd obviously heard my out worry and I was just immediately like this is worse.

This is worse than the conversation I had where I was told I did smell. Oh my god, Novoom. What if she was like, yeah you do smell a bit. Far out. Slightly pungent. No, stranger. Although she was sniffing you pre-gym.

Pre-gym, post-work. Maybe you should have got her back arm post-gym. Have you told the staff at your gym of choice how this has impacted you? That you got fresh gear and that you're freshening up? Or you're playing it cool? I just walked in and put my bag down and got on the phone. They did start the conversation with, please don't mention this on the podcast or the radio.

We're tough bickies. Here we are twice. And they didn't say anything to you. You're supposed to smell at the gym. We're sweating. At the end, right? This is what we established yesterday. At the end.

At the end, I stink. I don't walk in stinking. No. I walk out stinking. And it gets all in your clothes and it's yuck. Yeah, and I wash the gym gear every time. It never gets left in the car. I don't even put mine in the washing basket. It's's yucked. Yeah, and I wash the gym gear every time. It never gets left in the car. I don't even put mine in the washing basket.

It's straight in the machine. Yeah, same. So that it doesn't poison the rest of the basket. So it doesn't taint. Taint the basket. I got toned off because I always put the gym gear in, but I put this little sweaty towel with the other towels and shut. I said, you'll taint the towels.

Taint the towels. Because the towels are only for cleaning afterwards. That one's collecting all the sweat. But did you post-workout yesterday? Did you sniff? Were you sniffing and you were fine? I put on both again before I started. Roll on.

It's too much. Yeah, I know. It is amazing how you can say one thing to someone. But it's weird. And you don't even really think about it. I think smell is... Sade said to me, I reckon smell's your insecurity because you don't really care about about it. I think smell is, Sade said to me, I reckon smells your insecurity because you don't really care about everything else.

Yeah, right. But you've always not liked smelling. Yeah. Like we had this thing once where one day we moved this massive pile of mulch and at the end of the day, we were sitting there and our thing was, we sit in our stinker, we have a drink.

Yeah, great. And I sat there for a while and I had a drink and I was like, oh God, no, I can't do it. Oh, really? I think I'm un-shower shower because I don't like the smell. Sometimes I sort of like it. Like if I've got to sit on my own filth, I'm like, yeah, yuck. Yeah, yeah, for a bit.

You can appreciate because you're like, that's the smell of a hard day's hard yakka. But after a little bit, how good is it going to feel going and have a shower? Well, look, you don't smell, Vaughan. You're smelling bad. Yeah, I think I'm feeling neutral. Like, Fletch puts on perfume and people float in

like Pepe Le Pew. Like, there's something about That's only twink bait. That's that one fragrance. No, because we use that neutral base perfume. We just continued to smell the same. You were. Oh, man, that twisted me up inside.

Yeah. I was like, burly. We can't have that again. Yeah, that's why I just wear... And from the studio. Birds are just flying into the window trying to get to it. I just wear deodorant now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the only way we can cope with the work day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, well, this week's fact of the day theme is the Paralympics, which is an amazing event, and I recommend watching a bit of it on TV One's doing after 7 sharp, they do kind of the evening's Paralympic recap.

Also, the Instagram account's still popping, the Olympics and Paralympics account. Yeah, there's so much good content in the Paralympics. Amazing people. But I wanted to talk today about cheating at the Paralympics. As there has been some cheating at the Paralympics. As there has been some cheating at the Paralympics. I'll go through a few of them, but I want to finish on the big one.

At Tokyo 2020 Paralympics game, discus thrower Vinod Kumar was banned for two years after he was found to have intentionally misrepresented his disabilities. Oh, okay. What, like hiding an arm or something? He just had it tucked under his jumper. Like when you were a kid and you were like... I can see that.

I don't have an arm. I can see it. I can see it. Yeah. No, he was about his intellectual disabilities and such. Right. And that's quite a common thing. Because they class them, eh?

Based on disabilities. Yes. So you're trying to get a little head start And they're constantly reclassifying Because if you watch any of the Paralympics There'll be a little code Like C18 or something Yeah, often a letter and some numbers And they're reclassifying them

And a couple of times, controversially Right before the Paralympics starts They can reclassify it right up to there. Well, that's got to be annoying if you've been training in that class. Yeah. Exactly, yeah. And then you popped into a different class. But I think the most interesting Paralympic scandal that I could find,

there's a bit of, there's much doping. Yep. There's doping in the Paralympics. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, and they test it for everything. Get a bit more speed and strength. However, it in the Paralympics. Thank God, yeah. Yeah, and they test it for everything. Get a bit more speed and strength. However, it was the Paralympics in Sydney that already had numerous positive drug tests,

but Spain was stripped of their gold medal in basketball after it turns out their team had been exposed by an undercover journalist who had infiltrated and become part of their team, claiming to have an intellectual disability in an effort to oust the fact he believed that other people on the team were also lying about their intellectual disabilities.

Oh my God. So this guy makes the team, Carlos Arriba Gorda. We had to be good at basketball. Do you know what I mean? As a journalist, he must have already had basketball skills. Yeah. He revealed to Spanish Business Magazine

that most of his colleagues in the team had not undergone medical tests to ensure they had a disability, and most of them were lying about the disabilities they had listed. So the IBC investigated the claims and found that the required mental test, which showed that the competitors have an IQ of no more than 75, was not ever conducted by the Spanish Paralympic Committee.

And he also alleged that Spanish participants in table tennis, track and field and swimming events were not disabled. Five medals were won fraudulently and had to be returned. Naughty Spain. Naughty, naughty Spain. Oh, but paella. I know, but delicious paella. Well, let's not tarnish all of Spain with this paella. Yeah, just the paella.

Just the naughty ones. Some naughty Spanish people ruining it for everyone. So 10 of the 12 competitors in the winning team were not disabled. Wow. 10 out of 12, including the journalist who was one of them. Naughty Spain. Naughty Spain. Naughty Spain.

So today's fact of the day is there's cheating at the Paralympics as well, and perhaps no larger than at the 2000 Summer Paralympics in Sydney when the Spanish basketball team, who won gold? Naughty. Naughty. Very few of them ever had anything that would qualify them

for the Paralympics. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, I mean, the cost of living's going up. Wages need to go up to match it so we can afford things like cauliflower and tampons. Yep. And that's on my list. Yep. But people are absolutely shocked.

There's a babysitting agency so to be fair this isn't just your regular oh I know so and so's kid cash for the cash and it's an Auckland babysitting agency so everything's a little bit more expensive here saying that some babysitters are earning roughly between

$30 to $50 an hour oh my god that's crazy money. It's so wild to me. When's the last time you got, cause you'll get the grandparents to look after them, but if you paid someone,

what would you be paying them now? What did you, the last time you did? Sort of max out at a hundred bucks a night, but that's kind of like, leave it for a while, get home at 11,

six hours and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred bucks. Yeah. And that like, cash money. It would be leave it for a while. Leave it for a while, get home at 11, 6 hours and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred bucks. Yeah. And that like. Cash money. It would be amazing money to a teenager. Now being an agency, right, they'd have like, they do police checks and they're slightly

older. And there'll be a cart. There'll be a little cart. They'll be doing a cart. There'll be a little cart. But we were laughing because we were like, oh my God, when we did our kid jobs. When I did like a paper and I think I got a dollar. Yeah.

I don't know. I can't remember how much I got, but it wasn't much. I remember the pay slip on the paper on the evening post. Yeah. And it would have a little pay slip on a Friday. And I'm always, it was like $3.40 or something for the week. Like I'm sure it was for the week. Wild.

It was so bad. Or maybe seven bucks. I can't remember. Really specific bad number. And this is what we wanted to ask this morning is, as a kid, how much did you get paid? Like, what was your child pay rate? Yeah. Because we all did terrible jobs.

But even when I was like a 16, 17 year old, I worked for my dad, $10 an hour. Cash. Cash. That was on, was it on the table? On the table, $10. That was not bad at the time. $10. And I was like, she flush.

I have 50. She flush. Ten bucks. And I was like, she flush. I have 50. She flush. She flush. Producer Gerard, you had a, quite a low pay rate. Maybe below minimum illegal kid wage.

Should we say slave labour? I almost want to say it's the lowest pay rate you could get. Okay. Yeah. I used to get one cent per orange

that I picked up from, we had like 20 orange trees at my old house. Oh, okay. So there were just hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of oranges on the ground. So if you worked all day, how much would you make? Maybe $1.50. Would it take you all day?

That's actually when you think, one cent per orange, if you could be cranking, you know, two a second. A second? Two a second. You're picking up oranges. No, you've, two a second transition to three. A second? Two a second? He's not. You're picking up oranges. No, you've got to go find them. No, they're under a tree. Yeah, they're all under a tree. They're not buried treasure. You've got to bend down and pick it up. You get on your hands and it's all two orange trees.

This is how I do it. I get on my hands and I get a big bucket and I crawl around and I chuck them in real quick. Yeah. Right, but still a dollar for an hour or so's work. Lame. And then I had to go back a dollar for an hour or so's work. Yeah. Lame. And then I had to go back inside and do my homework.

You're lame. This is so, that's a bad pay rate. It's terrible. Would you have got paid on the farm or that's just what you had to do?

My grandad used to pay us 10 bucks an hour cash. Yeah. And we'd just go out and grab thistles and then just find a nice place to sit for a bit. 10 bucks?

And what? Grub thistles. What is that? So you'd take the motorbike out with a trailer on and you'd find thistles just go out, grub thistles, and then just find a nice place to sit for a bit. And what? Grub thistles. What is that? So you'd take the motorbike out with a trailer on and you'd find thistles and you had a grubber and you'd hack them. What's a grubber? Like a sickle. Nah, because you'd want to hack it into the ground and pull them out and then chuck the whole thistle on the trailer so that it didn't go to seed and spread.

Oh, look at this grubber contraption. It was like a flat end right hack. Okay. And the other end had like forks on it. That sounds like a ho to me. An implement for digging up plants. Okay. Images. Oh, yeah.

Right, and what would you get? Feels hoe-like. That's a hoe, isn't it? No, it's a grubber. It's more like a hoe-ax. You'd know. That's so childish. So, okay, we want to know from you this morning,

how much did you get paid as a kid for the horrible jobs that you had to do? Or maybe it was opposite for you. You got paid loads because you were, I don't know, like Daddy's Angel. Daddy's Angel, you have 50 bucks to go wash a mug or something. What about when you were a kid and there was a job that just required someone small and it was always in a horrible dark spot and they were like, you're the only one that'll fit. Go under the deck or in the ceiling space.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. With all the only one that'll fit. Go under the deck or in the ceiling space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With all the spider webs. No thanks. No thanks. We want to know your childhood pay rate because babysitters are making 30 to 50 bucks an hour in some cities around the country. That is wild.

Although that is through an agency. That's not a cashie under the table. I know, but they're also saying similar, a comparative in England and Australia. Oh, wow. Like, this is what we're paying babysitters. Just another reason to not have a child. I remember.

In my eyes. My parents didn't go out very often, but if they wanted to go out and their friends are like, we can't find a babysitter, my parents would just be like, well, we'll just drop the kids off there on the way and we'll pick them up on the way home

and we just have to stay at somebody else's house for the night. Yeah, they'd just ditch you. For free. Yeah. They would just ditch you. So we. Yeah, they would just ditch you. So we want to know your childhood pay rate. Ben, you were on $3 an hour.

Yep, I was working at my grandfather's drum shop and I had a polishing cloth and a can of pledge. I'd run around and clean everything, but I wasn't allowed to play any drums because it made too much noise. Right. When you said drum shop, I was like, in my mind it was big steel drums. Yeah, yeah, but these

actual musical drums. Musical drums. Yeah, right. It was pretty tempting to grab some sticks out of the drawer and then go and have a play. But the best part about the job was I used to lick stamps for the end of the month when he'd send his bills out. Yum.

What, pre, yeah, pre, before they were stickers. Before they were stickers when you used to lick them or put them on those stupid rollers. Yeah, so I was probably, I was like 11, so I was born in 73,

so it was like a mid-80s job. Yeah. But that was the highlight of the day. Do you reckon it's, um, impacted your brain in any way, licking all those stamps, licking up that stamp juice?

I just do the same thing all the time now. Every time I see stamps, I have to run to the cupboard and hide. Have a little lick. Have a little stamp lick. Ben, thank you. Celeste, you were on $5 an hour. Yeah. Oh, what was that for?

Working at the swimming pool, teaching kids swimming lessons and working in the lolly shop. I feel like we should place more value. It was for like a council. It was under the table and it was for like a council. I love when the council's... Under the table. They wouldn't get away with under the table no more. No, you'd never get away with that now, would you?

No, never. Under the table with the council. Brilliant. Like a little, you know, like the little bank bags with your like $70 cash at the end of the week and it was amazing.

Like the most money I've ever had in my life. I felt like back then. Wow. Twelve. Yeah, it's a lot of money, isn't it? Celeste, thank you. Mary, what were you on?

Oh, we weren't hourly, but so we were quite poor growing up. And our mum said to us that if we went and picked blackberries, that we'd get $10 a bucket or $1 a jug. Okay. That's not bad. Yeah. Well, it sounded good.

The boys just ate all the blackberries and they had like maybe one jug. And us girls teamed up and we did about 10 buckets and we were thinking, yeah, 100 bucks. Yeah, I think she gave us about a couple of dollars each maybe. Oh, she was really shocked though. She didn't think we'd get that much. I don't think mum was expecting that many buckets of blackberries. She was like, they won't get a full bucket.

She'd be like, we're lucky to get a cup at this rate. You'd turn up with 10 buckets and be like, pay up, woman. Mary, thank you. Some messages in. So at the other end of the scale, my daughter's in the US at the moment working at a resort. She got to know an ex-NFL player and his family. They asked her to do some babysitting for them on her days off.

She did two hours babysitting. They gave her 500 US dollars. What? That is insane. Imagine being a teenager and getting that and being like, oh my gosh. Imagine retire now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine your parents putting that sort of value on your life.

We want to know what your childhood pay rate was because babysitting now is up to 30 to 50 bucks an hour, which is nuts. In New Zealand? Also, it's wild just reading, one, what you were trusted to do for less than $5 an hour. Yes. Which is wild. Like no value on really important stuff.

People saying what they spent that money on when they were kids. I was a teenager. I was on 425 at a supermarket, which was basically a pack of Sunhill Red 20s. Oh, God. I trained adults in checkout and how to use the lotto, the lotto kiosk. They got paid more because they were older.

Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. Somebody said, I wish now my hourly rate was the equivalent of a pack of 20 ciggies because it's worth so much more. It would actually be a bloody good hourly rate. Yeah.

I worked at a supermarket when I was 14 for $8 an hour. It felt like a ton of cash at the time. Yeah. Because you just didn't have rent.

Didn't have rents. You didn't have insurance. It was all free money. You just had to get your sun-heeled 20s. My 14-year-old works at a cafe after school and gets $22 an hour cash.

Oh, God. When I was at 14, I got $5 an hour at a supermarket for four tax. I love this. Gran wasn't a fan of fly spray. We'd go around the house with fly swats, 10 cents per fly, and yes, there was a body count done at the end of the day so we could get paid accordingly. Yeah, you'd collect them.

I remember that. You'd go. Yeah, anything you were in charge of, like, picking things up, you'd put them in paid accordingly. Yeah, you collect them. I remember that. You know. Yeah, anything you were in charge of, like picking things up, you'd put them in a jar. Yeah. You really had to keep proof, otherwise they wouldn't pay you.

See, that just made, if that was me, I would then go and get like some old meat. Yeah. And then leave it out the back and catch the flies and start breeding flies. Start farming flies.

Farming them, yeah. Yeah, that's smart. Ripping off manna. Now we're making bank. Yeah, now we're making bank. Pay up manna. And then your first bank. Yeah, now we're making bank. Pay up, Nana. And then your first pay you spend on fly spray. Yes.

Now you've got an endless supply of flies and your labour costs are right down. Bring them from home. Keep them in a container. Straight out of the container. She won't know. Pop the telly on. Pop Nana in front of the telly.

She would have been absolutely making buckets off super back in the day. I used to get 50 cents for every grey hair I pulled out of my dad's head, so I'd park up behind him while he watched TV at night. You'd have to put those on a black piece of paper so you could count them individually. $5 a week as a teenager for picking up the dog's shit all over the lawn. Would have been sweet, except the dog liked going nuts on the fruit trees

and it kept giving them the shits. Yeah, well, we've got a golden retriever too. That was my first thought yesterday when my wife said, oh, my God, lovely. The plum tree's starting to blossom. Sprung has sprung. I was like, yeah, cool. I'm looking forward to the dog eating cages of plums and then leaving cages of plumb runny plumpers everywhere.

Shout out to the mums that did the job because when I used to get bored of my paper run, I'd just be like, I can't do it. Do I want to go hang out? Yes, my mum used to do it. Someone else said, oh because when I used to get bored of my paper run, I'd just be like, I can't do it. Did I want to go hang out with Jess? My mum used to do it. Someone else said, oh, my uncle used to own a sports shop. My weekly job was washing the socks that people tried on the shoes with. You know when you borrow a sock? $10 a week was pretty easy money, but to be fair, my mum washed and hung them out.

Shout out, mum. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Give us a review.