ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th August 2024

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Top 6: Wiggles Recalls  Silly Little Poll!  Jeremy Wells!  Fletch's Multiples  Vaughan's Project  Hayley's Booty Mask  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. And Bryn, we've had just a medal just as you were winding up there. Yeah, in the cycling, wasn't it? Oh my God, that was close. So Great Britain have pipped us by like 0.2 seconds.

Oh yuck. So what does that mean? Silver. Silver! Fantastic. We'll take Oh, yuck. So what does that mean? Silver. Silver. Oh, fantastic. We'll take silver. That's bloody good. Who was that commentator in the kayak slalom? Do you know who was commentating?

They're like... I bet they don't have any voice left. No, they don't. It's quite full on. Actually, you would do great sports commentary, Bryn. No, I just don't have enough energy. No, but I think that would make it incredible. Yeah, because how would Bryn get excited if they got a try?

And there's a try. Casual. You had a good morning. Casual. I'll ask the ACC guys if I can comment on that one. It would be so good, Bryn. I really think you'd do well. I'd listen to that.

I would listen, Bryn. You could do the golf or something maybe a little bit more on the chill side of things. Yeah, yeah, the lawn bowls. Yes. Oh, yeah, I can imagine you lawn bowls commentating. Yeah. Yeah, that would be lovely. Yeah, something gentle.

So Great Britain pipping us just by, yeah, fractions of a second there. But silver's bloody good. Silver. We love a silver. Fantastic. Thank you, Bryn. Thanks, Tim. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Coming up on the show, the top six We love a silver. Fantastic. Thank you Bryn. Thanks Tim. Welcome to the show Fletchhorn and Hayley.

Coming up on the show the top six has been a recall. The Wiggles have had to recall some merchandise. One of Emma's headbands had a flat battery in it and those are quite dangerous. Children will eat them. Their kids love eating those don't they? They just look like lollies to them and they're very very

dangerous to ingest. I thought maybe it was because they were tight, and they push on your temples, sometimes headbands. And I'm like, how much is this stuffing with my brain right now? Four-year-olds rocking around with tension headaches. Yeah, and you know, they're still a bit spongy, the skull. Yeah. Good for a facelift, though.

Yeah, pull it right back. Pull it right back. Well, I've got the top six other Wiggles recalls. Next on the show. There is a man who has conducted a social experiment. He's opened a restaurant that serves one thing. A delicious thing. I'll tell you what that is next.

There's a YouTuber. His name's Stanley Chen. And he wanted to conduct a bit of a social experiment. Now, have you ever seen that Vice? I think it was a Vice thing. Where a guy did a fake five-star restaurant and it was all like microwave meals from the Sainsbury's. I remember hearing about that. And he did like this exclusive thing.

You got blindfolded to go in and it was on the top of a garage. But it was like microwave meals. Microwave meals. And because of the pomp he created around it, everyone was like, this is, oh my God, the ravioli. And it was so funny. And it was microwave ravioli. It was microwaved like little Tesco or Sainsbury's meals from the UK.

It was so funny. Anyway, this is very similar. Stanley Chen's the YouTuber. And he used to work in kitchens, used to work in hospo and stuff. And he was like, I want to do a social experiment to see like how much you can bullshit people in a similar way to that vice one. So he created a fake website for a homemade fresh ramen restaurant. Okay. And he made the website.

You know what I mean? Like it's looking classy and lovely. Because it's all about the hype, isn't it? All about the hype. If you get enough hype, people will just go absolutely crazy. They'll do anything. Yeah, they'll line up around the block. So this is exactly what happened.

He ended up inviting a huge amount of like influences and people that would talk about it to Nisei Jangara, which means fake ramen. And he made it exclusive. It only opens two nights a year. Like pop-up. Okay, yeah. That kind of vibe.

Nisei Jangara has been travelling around the world offering pop-ups in each location for only two nights a year since 1953. I love this so much. All of this could be Googled. 100%. So far, host events in Japan, Belgium, America, and 50 more countries, now Australia.

Yeah. And just bougie language. We liken ramen to the work of art in a museum. So he did this in Australia? Yeah, this was in Aussie that he opened it up. Oh, brilliant. Invited all these influencers to try this. They've got 90 minutes at this spot before they're going to move out.

Very exclusive, very exclusive. But, of course, instead of fresh ramen, he just serves them like ramen in a cup. Like two-minute noodles. Supermarket cup noodles. Like your supermarket cup noodles. Amazing. To try to see if people would be so into the hype of it that they'd just be like, and they were.

Oh my God, he needs to make me another bowl. It tastes really nice, home cooked. The broth has clearly been made for hours. It was just sachet. It was just sachet. Because you know a good ramen broth literally is like days that they make it. Someone wrote a comment saying,

this chef is going to make it big time. And it was all bullshit. He just recorded it for a YouTube video. So much. I mean, I love instant ramen. Have any of the influencers like got shitty about it? I don't know. You'd feel so embarrassed.

You can imagine them making their videos like, oh, it would have been so funny. Hey guys, yo it's um Jean here and I managed to secure a table at Nisei Shungaru which is only open

two nights a year yeah probably I don't know I mean I would be literally mortified if I got pulled into something like that yeah

not that I don't like a cheap ramen but yeah the image of like it being very fancy makes me laugh do you ever posh up Your two minute noodles

With an egg? Oh, I don't really make Two minute noodles Yeah, I don't really do Two minute noodles Kids always have Two minute noodles And you put an egg

You put an egg on top Oh, yeah, nice Yeah, yum Because sometimes you get Like a fried egg on top You do, yeah You get the egg on top Of some bougie ramen

I can't eat two minute noodles When I was six I spewed them up I had two minute noodles noodles and orange juice, and I'll never forget the like, as it came out. Did some get up into the back of the nostrils? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was it coming out the nose and the throat? Yeah, like all that. And then the acidity of the orange juice with the of all the noodles coming out undigested. And so you've never been able to eat noodles since? I can eat like, yeah, like ramen or like rice noodle instant pot things.

But two minute noodles I've never been able to do it again. Which sucks because I think it's a great food. Like lots of people love eating it.

It's on the bottom of the food pyramid isn't it? That squiggle which you should eat the most. With bread and all the weights.

All the weights and all the lollies and carbohydrates. We're talking fruity lips. You're going to get it, get it, get it. Cereals were always on the bottom of the... Yeah, but not like... They were thinking like whole grain situations.

Like oats. Cocoa pops. The top six next on the show. There's been a recall. Yes. Emma Wiggles' headband has been recalled. Emma hasn't been in the Wiggles for a little while. Did you...

When was she last... Did you get to pest her? Was she one of the ones you pestered in the minivan that time? Yeah, but let's not say did I pest the yellow Wiggle. You pestered the female Wiggle. I pestered all of the Wiggles. He pestered all of them. I pestered them as a group. That's not good.

He went up to them in their minivan. I didn't single her out. In their thrifty minivan. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma, I love the yellow Wiggle. Can I get a photo? Can I get a photo of the yellow Wiggle? 2021, she stopped being a Wifty minivan. Hey, Emma. Hey, Emma, I love the yellow wiggle. Can I get a photo? Can I get a photo of the yellow wiggle? 2021, she stopped being a wiggle.

Okay. So she hasn't been a wiggle for a little while, but the headband's been recalled because of a battery. I've got the top six other wiggle recalls. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six.

Hello there. A Wiggles recall for a Emma Wiggle headband. It's yellow and black bow and it has four flashing lights. And in the middle of it, it has a battery, one of those flat watch batteries. Oh, yeah. It has a time lapse of what happens when one of those batteries is put into a chicken breast and it's showing you how

dangerous it is to swallow. See it's foaming and it's burning the meat. It's cooking the chicken. It creates a current because the positive is on the top, the negative is on the bottom. I've literally never seen anything as yuck in my life. Look at it.

That's what happens if kids swallow them. They're very, very dangerous. Goodness. Do you think they reuse that chicken breast in a stir fry after that experiment? I can't see why not. Wasteful. It's half cooked. Cut around it. Yeah. Just cut out the bad bit. Yeah. Cut it out. Isn't it crazy that we used to

just spend our childhoods like chewing batteries? Trying to get more life out of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The big double A's. Get them and chomp, chomp, chomp. It's wild. Chuck them in the freezer and bite them afterwards. What are you up to?

Where were our parents in the 80s and 90s? What were they doing? Working. At the pub. Working or at the pub. Smoking darts. Yeah. So the Will's note, no longer stock any products containing button batteries.

Reaffirming our unwavering commitment to provide safe and enjoyable experiences for all children. They've come out and said that any headbands and electronic goods that they sell will have big dolphin batteries. Yeah, huge battery packs that the kids will have to carry around. I'd love to see a kid swallow that. Which would actually be great for the strength, you know, carrying around that extra weight. Perfect. Neck strength. But it added weight training.

Yeah. Pull your head forward a bit. Oh, no. Keeps them, you know, upright. Yeah, good. Now, I've got the top six other Wiggles recalls. Do you? Because it's not all been smooth sailing for the Wiggles merchandise.

Number six on the list. They've recalled the hot potato from the song Hot Potato, Hot Potato. Was it too hot? Too hot. You've got to let it sit. Yeah, you've got to let a hot potato sit. It might look, but if it's a jacket potato, those things hold the heat.

The jacket potatoes. They do, eh? It's crazy. I haven't had a jacket potato for so long. Neither. I have. We should do that. They rule.

Fill it full of cheese and sour cream and bacon and chives. Jam it in the air fryer. Yeah, I don't have one in here, do I? Jam it anywhere. It goes hard. Well, not anywhere. You could get a burn. You could.

You've got to let it sit. Number five on the list of the top six other Wiggles recalls. The airbag in the big red car. Oh, yeah. That's been recalled. Faulty, yeah. Sometimes it'll just go off. So many airbags are, aren't they?

It'll save your life, but snap your neck in half. Yeah, you don't want them going off for no reason. Number four on the list of the top six other Wiggles recalls. Wags the dog, flea and worm treatment. Oh, no. What's happened there? It leaves little bald spots. Just burns the hair right off.

Yeah, it's a little too strong because he's such a massive dog, obviously, compared to the average dog. Yep. Contact alopecia. Yes. Yeah, that'll happen. Number three on the list of the top six other Wiggles recalls, Jeff's sleeping pills.

Oh, yeah. They were a placebo. They did nothing. He just loved to sleep. Oh really? Yeah. So they've recalled those. I thought he was probably on the gummies these days. Probably would be. Do you know what I mean? Probably. More of a natural approach. Doctor allocated gummies. Yeah.

Absolutely get a beautiful night's sleep. Number two on the list of the top six other Wiggles recalls. The Wiggles fruit salad. Listeria Risk. Oh no! You've got to be kidding me. Yeah, no. And Unproperly Prepared Apples. Yeah. And what, left out in the heat or something? Yeah.

Listeria developed. Yeah. And the number one recall for the top six Wiggles recalls, they released a limited edition run of Propellers based off their song Do the Propeller, Do the Propeller, Do the Propeller. And planes have been dropping out of the sky due to the propellers not being anything other than paper, really. Not structural at all.

So if you are flying a Cessna or another propeller-driven plane, or if you've got any of these items, just take them back to the retailer for a full refund. Yeah, that's smart. Full list at Consumer NZ. Safety first. That's today's top six. Next on the show, New World came out with their containers, the KitchenAid containers, the collectibles.

Yeah. Well, Woolworths, I still want to say Countdown. I've switched quite easily. Countdown slash to Woolworths Have said hold your containers We've got some collectibles of our own Although I don't know about these ones I'm good thanks

Yesterday I actually did some groceries At one of New Zealand's most expensive New Worlds Right And the only thing that kept me going was like the stickers babe The stickers Keep going for the stickers Yeah I went to the thing that kept me going was like the stickers, babe. The stickers. Keep going for the stickers. Yeah, I went to the Vic Park one and I was like,

it was just there after the gym. I was like, I've got to do some groceries and it wasn't a massive shop. So I was like, I'll go there. I'll do that. And then I got the stickers and I'm mad I'm working my way up to some containers. I've got some stickers for you.

Oh, poor Shannon's trying to sell them to Hayley and you're giving them away for free. Does your wife know you're doing this? Oh, no, she's useless. Oh. I found stickers just scattered through the boot. And I was like, the stickers are scattered through the boot.

She's like, we don't need that shit. Are you gifting me stickers? How, sir, shall I repay you? Thank you. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, wow. Seven. Seven stickers.

$140 worth. You're like on your way to a tiny container for half a sandwich. You've just worked at, I think it was more than $140, but that was just when you just popped in for a quick something. Literally did it the other day. That's how the world works now. You pop in for a quick something. I was like, I'll save money.

We won't go out for dinner. I'll make dinner. Yes. But while I'm there, I also need a new toothbrush and some deodorant. Same. And that moisturizer I like. And then all of a sudden, $150 is gone.

And also, you could have probably gone out for dinner cheaper. Absolutely. I did that the other day. Here it is. Could have just gone out for dinner for this.

That's what I could have got to take away. Homemade pizza. Well, yeah, I'll never do homemade pizzas. Oh my God, homemade pizza takes forever to chop everything. Yeah.

And so expensive. Well, New World, homemade pizza takes forever to chop everything. Yeah. And so expensive. Well, New World, as you mentioned, have been doing the containers, the collectible containers. Woolworths have announced that they are launching Disney's Worlds of Wonder collector's cards. Yeah. Oh, what are these going to look like? This is right up your nerd alley.

I liked the best one they did was the Lego adjacent because there was something you could, like the collector cards are cool. You collect them, you put them in the folder and then you're like, cool. Oh, the bricks where you made little. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, that was cool.

Was it? I think that's the thing is like New World's got the women. Yeah. We're like, just a steamer with a little drainer in it. We just like want it, right? So we'll go and spend the money for the household trying to get these plastic containers. Whereas Woolworths has gone, okay,

you've got the women, we'll get the kids. And the kids will be like, I want this one. I'm missing this one. Yeah, kids harrowing them. Totally. Wish I was never born if you don't give me that card or whatever. Did you ever say that to your parents? I wish I was never born.

No, I think I said I didn't I wasn't asked. I didn't ask to be born. That's so shitty, eh? After everything they do for you. I wish I was never born. Yeah, well they are. I didn't ask for this. You didn't have to have me.

So yeah, there's like Marvel cards, there's Star Wars cards, there's Pixar cards. It's everything under the Disney umbrella, right? Yeah, Disney's worlds of wonder. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Light on details though, because I'm not seeing. So you get one pack of three double-sided cards with every $30 you spend on groceries. Do you know the other thing is I don't want to collect these at all, but there'll be people out there going, great, because you know the other thing is I don't want to collect these at all, but there'll be people out there going, great. Because, you know, people with collector cards, some of the most rarest cards in the world get, like, millions and millions of dollars. People just, there's something in human nature when you start a collection,

you've got to do your best to finish it. Do you know what I mean? Like, you might not even want this collection, but once you've got 30 of them. That's why I've got all of the Rings figurines in my garage. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And even want this collection, but once you've got 30 of them. That's why I've got Lord of the Rings figurines in my garage. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And we're only missing like three or four. Are we still going?

Are we still looking for them? Are we still doing this? Yeah. So yeah, apparently Post Malone paid like $2 million to find a rare card. Cards I've never understood. Magic gathering card. You play a game with those. Right.

Because like figurines. You're not playing a game with a $2 million Because like figurines... Are you going to be playing... You're not playing a game with a $2 million card, are you? Or do you Duracell it? Get a Duracell it. Laminator. You drink the Laminator. You don't put it in a protective sleeve.

You put it in one of those protective glass covers. Well, you can buy... I think as part of the collectibles for Woolworths, you can get one of the folders. Right. You slip the cards in and collect them all. Right. Yeah.

So that's for those people that want that. Woolworths have said, oh, there is a rare one. So there are ones. Yeah, okay. There are ones that are going to be easier to get. And the rarest card features Sleeping Beauty's castle. Okay, so that's... Now I want it.

Now you want to get that because you know people will pay for that online. I know. I get it, man. It's smart, man. This is so smart from them. It's smart. It's really smart. Yeah, it's smart.

I've never wanted anything more than I've wanted the Smeg knives. Yeah, that will always be number one, eh? I lost a finger that summer. Do you know what I mean? That's still sharp. That's still sharp. Mine's still sharp. Now see, I might have got something wrong here.

Oh, choked on myself. There's an article about Gen Z claiming that if you go to town wearing this shoe, you old. Yep. But I got it backwards as to what shoe I thought they were talking about. They're talking about the shoes that you should be wearing and I thought it was the white sneakers. And I said, sometimes you wear this shoe.

Yeah, but I also don't go out. Like, I'll go out early in the evening, afternoon. Oh, you don't hit da clubs. But I'm not going to da club. There's no way in hell. In what? A white sneaker. No, so white sneakers are the shoes that Gen Z are saying you should be wearing.

You won't get into the club wearing white sneakers. No, you can now, Hon. It's changed. I know, they've changed it all. They've really changed it. Gen Z is saying if they see you in a high heel, they can say that woman is old. Because Gen Z is going like,

no, we go to the club in our sneakers, babe. It's all about comfort. Why am I going to put myself into all this pain? Now, I don't wear high heels very often, but I did my time when I first started clubbing and I would wear high heels because that's what you were told to wear and you guys would wear your pointy town shoes and we just got told that that's what it was.

Yeah, dude, elastic. Royals, were they called Royals, the town shoes? A nice elastic town was. Yeah, dude. Elastic Royals. Were they called Royals, the town shoes? A nice elastic town shoe. Yeah. And like for girls in the heels, man used to like peel them off. You'd be barefoot by the time you're going home. It was awful.

Yeah. And Gen Z has been like, how embarrassing. You'd be ordering your Maccas and your bare feet. Holding your shoes. Yeah, I know. Can I have a McChicken, please? But this chick filmed a video in the clubs holding your shoes. Yeah, I know. Can I have a McChicken, please? But they, this chick filmed a video in the clubs

and it was like all these girls wearing like white singlet top, blue jeans, white sneakers. And that's the new town outfit. Now we were skinny jeans, nice top and a pair of heels. Yeah. So embarrassing now.

And they were like, it's so old, we do not wear heels. Now, Shannon, as the youngest member of this team and the most likely to hit the clubs, probably out of any of us, yeah, Carwood's like, yeah, 100%. Yeah, Jared don't hit the clubs. Yeah. Do you agree that wearing heels is like we're done with that?

Yeah, totally. And the outfit is plain top, fun pant, white sneaker. That's right totally and the the outfit is plain top fun pant white sneaker so it's not even fun don't fun pants me oh yeah pants shouldn't be fun pants should never be fun they should be one block unless you're a clown no unless you're a clown pants should not be fun even when i was a club promoter this was true and i would scout girls to come in because that was like my job and if they had a heel on they aren't coming in they're too old. If you saw me at the club door

would you let me in? Vibe check. Don't you pause, said it all don't even effing answer To be fair I probably would because I know you would spend a lot of money on drinks Renowned drinker Hayley's Brows at the door let her in But yeah no it was a very clear sign,

especially if they were in a pump. That was the heel. What is a pump? Yeah. Like a Reebok pump? No. No. Like the classic high heel of what you imagine,

like a closed toe with like a heel, like a Louboutin kind of stitcher. Like that. Right. Like closed toe, but not super pointy, but not super round. Kind of business-y. Classic heel.

Yeah, you could almost wear them from office to town. Yeah, that was the classic, I'm a millennial trying to live out my youth still. Yikes. And you'd be like, you're not coming in. Yeah. Wow. I don't even really wear, I've got to wear heels. I'm hosting the Cure Kids fundraiser on Friday.

I don't want to talk about my charity work. You really thumbed that charity work into the conversation, didn't you? That's private. You could have just literally said, I'm just going out on Friday. I don't want to talk about my charity work. You really thumbed that charity work into the conversation, didn't you? You could have just literally said I'm just going out on Friday. No, because I'm hosting a charity event for Cure Kids. And I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to. You've forced my hand here to mention that I'm hosting a charity gig on Friday to raise money

for unwell children. But I'll wear heels then, but I'll only wear them for like that, like business, when I MC things. Even at a wedding, you'll be hard pressed. Yeah, and the trendy heel now is square toe. Yeah, square toe. Square toe.

Flat, chunky heel. Yeah, thin strap. What was the one you were saying the other day is back with the studs and that you used to have when you were, yeah. Jeffrey Campbell's. Maybe I'll try to dig out my big spiky Jeffrey Campbell's. They definitely have a time and a place. They don't. The time and the place was 2010, you know?

That was the time and place. It's all about comfort. I totally, I'm with, I'm seldom in line with Gen Z, but I agree with them. Comfort. Don't be that person hooking your heels around your finger and walking home in the middle of the night. It's not a good look.

Because it's hard to hold the nugget sauce and the nuggets if you've also got your heels. I used to tuck one heel under each armpit and then have the nonnies in the hands. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Fletchvorn and Hayley Silly little

Poe, silly little Poe, it is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little Poe, silly little Poe, silly little Silly Little Pole today. Does your smart watch make you anxious or are you not Gen Z? Well, a recent study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association found that using wearables like Apple Watch, Fitbit, Garmin. I can't imagine. Garmin.

Georgia will be in with her Garmin soon. Fish finding or whatever she does with it. You can do the fish finder on it. I know. She's in the studio the other day. She's like, oh, there's fish underneath us right now. Yeah, and they're halfway down the 18th hole. Par out.

Apparently she's got a golf course on there as well. The study found that people using smart watches to monitor heart conditions, like a regular heartbeat, those kind of things, can actually make people more anxious about their health. Yeah. Because I guess you follow it and you're like, oh, I'm stressed. Look at my heart rate. I've got to watch my heart rate.

And then, you know, people closing their rings. You went through this one. It gets very addictive. Yeah. I know that the new Apple Watch Update 11 is going to give you the chance to have rest days, rest weeks and a rest month. Because if you've got your like exercise goal exercise goal set to, like, 60 minutes, finding 60 minutes of exercise

on a rest day is hard. So then you fail, and you're like, oh, I didn't do anything. And then you feel bad about yourself, and that might make you anxious. But you've got to have a rest day. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. My friend was really gutted because he came back from America, lost an entire day. Oh, yeah. And it just sits there. Your ring is just not closed. What is your other option to plan a flight?

You do what Fletch does. You set all your goals down to like stand for one hour, move for five minutes. No, but stand is minimum six hours. So your rings are, you're screwed. Oh, you're screwed. Well, 76% of people said,

no, my smartwatch does not make me anxious, but 24% said yes. They all good. Elizabeth, I turned off all my notifications except for phone calls. I only use it for checking the time, pedometer, and setting timers while cooking. Okay.

So you should just get a watch. Even counting your steps, like that can make you anxious. You get too late in the day, you're like, I haven't done my steps. Oh, my God. But I kind of like keeps you accountable. I love the Apple rings.

But accountability is what makes some people anxious. They don't want to be accountable for their actions. Okay. They want to do whatever they want and not face any consequence of them. Yeah. Shelly says, yes, it does. That's why it's currently flat in the bathroom and should not be charged anytime soon. Rebecca, smartphone, absolutely.

Smartwatch, nah, it's handy. So she's saying the phone makes her anxious, but the watch doesn't. Joseph, that smug bastard is constantly telling me it's time to get moving. It's like a passive-aggressive relative making a comment when you're dishing up at family dinner. Two bread rolls, is it? Oh. Got another one. You're having another one. You must be hungry.

Gosh, shit. Run a marathon, have you? Yeah, gosh. I've turned off all the phone and email features, so really it's an MP3 player with a heart rate monitor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing worse than when you're mid-exercising and it's like, do you want to end your workout now?

It looks like you've stopped. And you're like, no, I'm still going hard, bro. You're just on this machine for like maybe two minutes. Preeti says, don't have one. I prefer a watch that can't be hacked into. Oh, okay. They do look nicer. Ah, yeah. Kristen, I'm avoiding getting one because I felt like watch that can't be hacked into. Oh, okay. They do look nicer. Ah, Kristen,

I'm avoiding getting one because I felt like it would make me anxious. Zoe, I'm anxious without it. What if I miss something because I didn't have my watch on? Yeah. And Ash, nah, I just take that bitch off when it starts

digitally bullying me. Digitally? Time to stand. Yeah. Stop bullying me. Why are you always trying to make me stand? That is so little part. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Okay, there is a nanny who used to nanny for a very wealthy family in New York City.

Yeah. And she is kind of given a little like exclusive peep behind the curtains. I would have thought that if you nannied for a super wealthy family, you would sign the most insane NDAs, like non-disclosure agreements, confidentiality, everything.

But if you didn't give out the client's details, does it count? Could you say, I worked for someone who made me do XYZ? Maybe. Without saying, in that person was this lady?

Yeah, maybe. Who knows? I don't know how it works. I've never had to sign an NDO. Other than the one you made me sign and I will never say that again. We sign them all the time. Oh yeah, we do too.

Yeah. You've literally signed dozens and dozens. I've signed so many. Well, when we watch a movie. I signed one for Taskmaster When we watch a movie they're like Don't tell anyone about the movie

Otherwise we'll sue you for millions of dollars I've been filming the whole thing Dub dub dub dot pirate Anyway so she She was a nanny Used to work for New York's biggest billionaires Some of the clients They called her rather than a nanny,

some of them called her a toddler's personal assistant. Her name is Stephanie. One of the mums, so she worked with a number of families, and she shared a few little tidbits. One of the mums asked if Stephanie would take drugs that would cause her to lactate so that she could breastfeed the child.

Because the mother worked and wanted the baby to be breastfed, but she wasn't into pumping. So she suggested that Stephanie, this nanny, do a, like you can make, induce the milk to your breast even if you're having a child. I didn't know you could do that. I didn't know either. Do I just have milk in me?

No, it's like, well, it's the hormones that turn it on. So you could be taking hormones. Yeah. But that would just utterly stuff with your mood. Oh my God, crazy. Anyway, she said

that was a hard no. One of them, yeah, hormone mimicking drugs. So yeah, you do. You make your body think that it's pregnant. Well, is that for your salary or would that be extra?

That'd be an extra payment, eh? You do it per litre. Because I'd do it for... I don't know if it works for me. $1,000 a litre? I'm not sure. $1,000 a litre? Is that good?

That's not enough. Is it not enough? They're billionaires. Okay, $5,000. $5,000 per... $5 million. Suck. Like per feeding session.

Per feed, yeah. Another client of hers asked, are you comfortable running errands in a Porsche? Because that's the only cars we have. She was like, yes. I wouldn't be. What about a Porsche Cayenne Pepper? Does she have the kids with her still?

Because you can't strap a kid into the front seat of a 911, can you? Yeah, I don't know. Wouldn't they call those Porsches? Yeah. I tried to sound like I was somewhat knowledgeable on Porsches. You're not, are you? She used to do school pickups and she'd be standing alongside Steve Martin, Drew Barrymore and Robert De Niro picking up kids.

Being like, hey guys. And there's Porsche. Yeah. One of them, she's got asked a number of times to be like eyes and ears. Like, can you catch my husband cheating? Like, I think he's doing this. Wake up times were insane so that Frederick, you know, could wake up to a soothing environment and you can set the tone.

You know, like all the toiletries and stuff she had to go and buy for the kids were like $200 nappy creams and all this kind of stuff. She was like, it was insanity. But she made a bunch of money. And a lot of the time was like, I'm just having fun. Yeah. Like that would be fun. Because a lot of the time,

some of the nannies get to go on the holidays. Yeah. So the parents don't even want to look after their children on holiday. Yeah. She worked for a germaphobe wife. And so every time that the kids came in from the outside world, they had to be like stripped down,

their clothes immediately put into the wash, you know, like all these different precautions taken. And she got fired because she sneezed. So, I mean, it's actually wild. She got fired because she sneezed. Yeah. I mean, you can see like having billions of dollars would make you completely out of touch.

Oh yeah, bonkers. Anyway, I wanted to get some calls and some messages in about if anyone listening has worked for someone super wealthy, maybe as a nanny or like a- A lot of Kiwis do, eh? A lot of Kiwis. OPS. OPS. Yeah.

Yeah, because you can make good money overseas and you don't need to be like trained or have studied or anything. Well, and especially if you're doing your OE, a lot of the time you're like accommodations paid for because you might live with them. And you go to London for your OE and you're driving a Porsche. And then every time they go on holiday, you're going. Yeah. Or you're having a party at their house.

I would love it. Or maybe, you know, like you were a chef, like a private chef or an assistant or a cleaner even for like a super mega mansion. Oh, you'd have some stories. You would. Okay, 0800 dials at M. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696. Did you work for someone extremely rich?

And what was it like? We want to know if you've ever worked for or under someone incredibly rich because a billionaire's ex-nanny has just shared some stories of her time as a nanny for the extremely rich. You write a whole book about it. Or a TV show. Yeah.

That'd be bloody good. So that's what we want to know. Have you ever worked for someone mega rich? Someone said, I've worked on a yacht. A very, very rich person's yacht. This is other than Kiwis seem to do, eh? Yeah, love the yachts. And I have physically cleaned up human feces. Feces, they've spelt, by the way, feces.

Feces. The show's preferred spelling of feces, F-A-E-C-E-S. The show's spelling. The show's spelling of feces. The only spelling we here at the show will accept. And when we say it, we honour the A. Yeah. Feces.

So they have cleaned it up. And judging by the size, it definitely wasn't the children I was supposed to be looking after. Yeah. My friend was a nanny for the extended royal family. Oh, wow. Okay. So like cousins of William and Harry.

Oh, yeah. Everyone was very open about how they didn't like Meghan Markle. I don't think we need a nanny to tell us that. I think everybody knows that, right? Apparently she was very rude to staff. Oh, right. Do you know what? I can see it.

Really? I'm not taking a stance on Meghan Markle. I wish her all the best. But I can see it, that she would have an air of pretension, perhaps. Really? I'm not taking a stance on Meghan Markle. I wish her all the best. But I can see it, that she would have an air of pretension, perhaps. Really? I say that with absolutely no grounds. And probably just a woman tearing down another woman. But I feel it.

I work for a very wealthy man who owns a few mansions out on the coast. A group hired all of the mansions out over New Year's. Drugs everywhere. Piles of cash everywhere. Did they invite us to join? Absolutely. Oh, really? Oh, wow. Ended up finding drugs while I was cleaning up and

I said, what do I do with these? They said, not my problem. So I guess they're yours now. Oh, someone texted as a specialist PT for famous New Zealand athletes, shall we say. Oh, okay. Giving them a bit of a stretch and a rub. Said it was absolutely pretty good. So we've got some nice.

Of course, because you're stretching and rubbing hot athletes. Go get the hammies. Work out the hammies. Go get the hammies. My wife worked for some of the richest and most famous people in the UK. Can't mention who, as she had to sign one of those contracts. Oh, yeah. Had amazing perks.

Doing red carpets with many top international actors and stars. But really, it was a nightmare. Don't recommend it. They were very high demand. Oh, they'd have some stories, wouldn't they? They'd have some stories. Yeah, so out of touch. Yeah.

There was a series called Hotel Babylon, and it was based off a book where somebody who had worked in hotels kind of told all of the stories they experienced in hotels. Yes. In a story. So it wasn't the exact situation, but the situations that happened. Then there was a book called Air Babylon, which is the same about people.

Yeah. Nanny Babylon. Nanny Babylon, yeah. Or personal assistant Babylon. Yeah. And they could write all of these stories. Yes. Give it a fictitious, you know, person that it's about.

Love it. Tell all these amazing stories. Oh, my God. Read that top one, but don't say the name. I don't know who that is. No, neither, but just don't say the name. My friend was A very rich person's

Private nurse Private nurse He would He bought her a house To live in And he would take them All to Las Vegas And hand them $10,000 each

And say get out there And have some fun How Wait How often do you need A personal nurse Like unless And if you've got

A personal nurse Should you be going to Vegas It doesn't If you've got a personal nurse, should you be going to Vegas? If you've got a personal nurse, maybe just stay at home. So that person, do you know who that person is? I've heard the name,

but I don't know. I know they're a very rich family. They're called a media tycoon. Oh. Billionaire. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot.

And there's articles and articles about his billionaire antics. So that would have been fun. Private nurse. I worked for a rich family in the UK. They were constantly travelling to the point where and articles about his billionaire antics. So that would have been fun. Private nurse. I worked for a rich family in the UK. They were constantly travelling to the point where their very young daughter started to call me mum.

The real mum didn't like that and fired me after hearing it. Wow. And just got a new nanny that she could call mum. Just keep moving. Isn't that like The Help? You know that film, The Help? Yeah. And then the daughter starts calling the

nanny mum and like wanting her all the time. Yeah. Yeah and she's offended by it but that's what happens when you don't spend time with your kids right? Yeah. Yikes. My cousin was the nanny for someone's personal photographer. Oh yeah.

Random connection. Very rich person. My cousin was the nanny for someone's personal photographer. Oh, yeah. Random connection. Very rich person. My cousin was the nanny for a very rich person's personal photographer. Right. Random connection. When she lived in the UK, they asked her to go on holiday with them for a couple of months to Dubai to look after the kids.

Well, this guy worked. And she said she wasn't keen to leave her boyfriend for that long, so they paid for the boyfriend to go as well. Imagine. That'd be so fun. That'd be weird though, because you're primarily there to look after the kids, so the kids are always going to be around. But then you'd have money to go out and take the kids

and do things. So you get a free holiday with your boyfriend in Dubai, one of the funnest places in the world, with like a bunch of money. And all you've got to do is look after some twerpy kids for a while and put them on an iPad. Right, so you're saying lock them in the compound and go for the iPad. Yeah. Oh, I worked for a major film producer in London

and he smoked inside his office. They told me if I took the job, I just had to accept it, that he would smoke in the workplace. Imagine going in for meetings. Yuck. My dad worked for a very rich family as the live-in nurse when I was a kid. They gave us a house in Wanaka. Gave it?

Helicopters were their daily form of transport. Very different style of living. Wait, when you say gave, like for the time of service? Because if you were given a house in Wanaka a few many years ago. Yeah, you'd be stoked. I hope Dad kept that. Yeah. Worked for a crazy rich banker in London on my OE as a nanny slash PA for personal life.

Amazing people, amazing perks. They still look after me to this day with trips to catch up, treats and gifts. A rich banker. I want treats and gifts. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A rich baby. I want daddy. I want treats and gifts. Now, I just want to remind you, actually, let me bring it up so we can marvel at it again. Because the last, the passport photo I had before the current one I've got, it was an emergency passport.

I'd been in tears the whole day. My dad was driving me around Wellington trying to just get it all sorted because I was off to Edinburgh the next day. The next day. And I looked like shit to be honest, to say it frankly.

And so when that was when it was a five year passport, so when that terror was over and I had to get a new passport photo I really took my time with it and I got a beauty. Now, we're just going to open this because I got a little smile in. Yeah, a little smize? Like a little smize. A little smize.

The corners of the mouth are up. The makeup is light, but not, you know, it's there, but it's not too heavy. The hair is hearing. It's just amazing. I'll say it, natural beauty. She looks like a natural beauty. She looks like a natural beauty. She looks like a natural beauty.

But really, she spent hours preparing for that photo. And this is the problem that a lot of women are having is they're going too hard on the makeup for their photo. There's been a rise in rejections of photos. Yeah. And there is a trend on TikTok called hashtag passport makeup. And they recommend a number of things. A slight cat eye eyeliner, like a wing, not like an Amy Winehouse.

Yeah. Calm down. Yeah. Slight cat eye, brush your eyebrows upwards and bronzer on your cheekbones, making you look slouched. But then is that how you travel? No. How good are those, you know when you scan your passport and then it scans your face?

Yeah. Like how alike does that have to be for it to? Well, I'll show you my passport photo again and then my face in front of you. That is older and more tight. And when I travel, I don't put in a lot of effort at all. Because that's the thing now with the 10-year, because the 10-year passports have been around for 5 years?

Yeah. 3 or 4 or 5 years? So you could have had a passport when you were like 15. Yeah, in your mid-20s. And now you're mid-20s. You look way different. Totally. I was I think I've had mine for like 4 years, but I was really at my

peak in 2019 I hit it so the issue is a lot of these passport photos are getting declined at the stage of like making the passport, you know, the photo doesn't reach us, you're smiling or it's whatever but also people are

like having trouble getting onto flights because they've gone so hard in their passport photo, they look all doled up and then you whack your hair in a top knot with no makeup and you've got like a hoodie on and your headphones on and it doesn't matter they're just going yeah someone was like they almost didn't let me on my flight they would not believe it i had to get out different forms of id to show them because they don't look anything like their passport they've worked too hard and there they are because a lot of women look completely different with a bare face, especially if they've

got light eyebrows or light features that they darken. So you can't go too hard. I mean, you've just got to do, I just did the Tyra Banks, like, suck your... Could you go into the Mac store and be like, I need... Quick face? I need a quick passport face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hashtag passport face. Brush brows, chisel cheekbone. Yeah. Slight skin turned. Don't make it look crazy, but I just need something. That's actually a really good idea. That's actually a really good idea. That'll be good for the Mac counters.

Why are you laughing? I was just looking at the, on the New Zealand passport photos, like they have a big page of what is acceptable for a photo. The examples. And one of them. The shoes mine are so beautiful. One of them is be an original photo, not changed by photo editing software. And somebody's like giving themselves like emoji eyes.

Oh my God. With a full filter, like a cartoon comic white filter. Fill up your lips a little bit. Nobody has done that, have they? Snatch the jaw. Come on. Maybe whacked it through Snapchat, put on a bit of a smoothing filter.

There's so many examples of just people at the beach taking a selfie and then uploading it for a passport. That's not going to work. You dumb idiot. Just go to a chemist

or something. Oh my God. The amount of people sharing TikToks of like, I got humbled in Taiwan. I got humbled here because they're just looking at that glorious passport photo

and being like, that ain't you, you trash bag. Look at you. Take some pride in your appearance, for God's sake. What, did they scrape you out of the gutter this morning? Get real. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, it is season five of Taskmaster New Zealand,

and it's on TV2 tonight at 7.30 p.m. Not a.m. That would be a silly time for the show to be on TV2 tonight at 7.30pm. Not AM. That would be a silly time for the show to be on. Everybody's too busy. The Taskmaster, Jeremy Wells in studio. Hello. Well, good morning. Good morning to you, sir. How is everyone? Really good.

I'm good but nervous. This year, what do you say? Are we scraping the barrel this season? Oh, for God's sake. Oh, cheap as Fletch. Fletch, how do you feel? Are we scraping the barrel this season? Oh, for God's sake. Jeepers, Fletch. Fletch, how do you? That felt very pointy. I take that back because I did go to a taping and shit, I laughed. Oh, I know.

It's so much fun. This show is brilliant. Funny you say that because a lot of the people, a lot of the crew who have been working on the show now for five seasons thought that this was the best cast so far. Really? Hayley. Because there have been some, like, incredible cast.

And every year I've watched going, as has every comedian in New Zealand, being like, when's it going to be my turn? I want to do it. And then you start thinking, like, all the comedians that hadn't been on it would brainstorm and be like, well, surely it's us, right? Or who's left?

Okay, so you've got the male role, you've got the younger role. Oh, we also established I'm older woman this season. Yes. Well you just confirmed it straight out the cap. Older woman. Older woman and we've learnt same age as Abbey Howells who is playing younger woman.

I know. No, Jeremy, this is a sore point for me. Yeah, same age. Hayley and Abbey House are the same age. Don't look at my face. And then I said, Abbey House, how old do you think I am? And Abbey House thought I was younger yet. Which was insane and she's

crazy. I would have judged you differently. How have I known this? This information is new to me. Really? I've got a beauty appointment after this and I'm going to get everything sucked, tucked. This is the first season of Taskmaster where the old girl and the young girl have been the same age.

Oh, stop it, all of you. I was like this though because every year it was like, oh, Brinley, okay, so that's young girl. And then like, could it be like, oh, she's sort of young girl and brown. Tick that, da-da-da-da-da. And then I was like,

God, it's moving on. These seasons are moving on and I'm not getting in there. I'm going to have to wait till I'm old. It is very carefully cast. I don't know if they go old girl, young girl. I'm not sure whether it's like that. No, but you wouldn't have five very similar comedians. No, you have to have very different people.

I mean, for any drama to work, for any reality TV to work, there's a theory that's been bandied about for years, which is mad, glad, sad, and bad. So you always have to have, otherwise it doesn't work. If you just have lots of really happy people who love each other,

nobody's going to watch that. There's no jeopardy. It's just like, oh, whatever. So someone always has to play a particular role. Yes. And I think that always works with the Taskmaster thing as well. Yeah, totally. Someone's got to be a little bit crazy. Someone's got to be really, really focused on winning and competitive.

I try not to be. I try not to be. She is. She's competitive. She is. She's so competitive. Someone has to have never watched the program before. Yep.

Ever. Yep. And doesn't even know what the hell's going on with each task. Yeah. It was so funny to watch it back because in the moment you are so just thrown into it. Like we're given nothing, absolutely nothing. You walk out and then the task is given to you. And sometimes you would leave thinking I've nailed it.

And then watching it back in studio, I was like, what was that? And then other times you thought you'd done terribly and then you kind of watch back, you're like, oh, it wasn't as bad. Like it messes with you, Jeremy. Yes. And the interesting thing is, so all the contestants that come on it, five comedians that come on it, they're not allowed to talk to each other about the tasks.

Okay. During filming, after filming, and then when we come to record the studio stuff, they don't know the tasks that we're going to show that night or in that episode. So for comedians and a lot of comedians who go into things prepared with gags, with routines and all that sort of stuff, there's a lot of trust that goes into this.

So you appear in the studio and you're not sure how things are going to go. And from my perspective, it's really interesting because I get to sit in the taskmaster's chair and I know the clips. I know exactly what's going to happen. And then I get to watch five comedians watch themselves and it unfolding in their head as to them going through that change that you're talking about, Hayley, which is from,

I think I did quite well in this, to realising that they are the one that had the shitter. Yeah. They haven't played my clip yet. Where is it? Or they've been completely stitched up, which was one of the episodes

I was at the filming of was brilliantly done. Oh, I know. I won't spoil anything. No, no, no. But there's one episode as well in which Ben Hurley genuinely, I think, got quite mad. Because that's when you said the mad, bad, sad, glad.

I was like, Ben Hurley, bad or mad? Mad. Mad as in he was very annoyed. Angry. He's an angry boy. Yeah. It's the fifth season. Does it blow you away how popular the show is around the world?

Because I mentioned before I was in Chicago last year and, yeah, the girl at the restaurant was like, are you from New Zealand? Oh, my God, I love Taskmaster New Zealand. People in the UK love the New Zealand one. Yeah, well, I had a weird experience where I went to Canada a couple of years ago and I just checked in and I was going on a domestic flight from an international flight

from New Zealand and the woman said, are you the Taskmaster from New Zealand? I said, yes. And they said, oh, I said, are you a New Zealander? And she said, no, no, they have it here in Canada. And I was like, wow, that's really, really weird. I was not expecting that at all. And I was filming one day and like a person was travelling around New Zealand.

I can't remember what country they were from, but they'd like hunted out the Taskmaster house and they knew where it was. I've got to say that the Uber Taskmaster fans are the weirdest people in the world. They're more likely to be, I mean, not that people on the spectrum are weird, but they are definitely more likely to be on the spectrum

than any other television show fan in the history of the world. So much so that last year I got sent a whole lot of Taskmaster fan fiction. Which has been written about all the contestants of one particular season and this young girl has written sexual

sex fiction about the Taskmaster so it involves me, the Taskmaster, making love to Laura Daniel. In the most disgusting way possible. I think Hayley's, I think you've actually excited Hayley. I think you've ignited something in me

because I was very disappointed to learn there is no fan fiction about me currently. Oh, there will be. You can do it after tonight. After this. I can't wait. Yeah. Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm really,

I'm like both excited and mortified for people to watch it because it's truly so revealing. You reveal so much of yourself in these tasks because, yeah, you can't be prepared. Yes. And sometimes you lose your mind and sometimes,

the one thing I said was don't be too competitive. Don't take it too seriously. Like, just be cool. Just be a cool girl. Be a cool girl. And what happened? Talk it too seriously. Like, just be cool. Just be a cool girl. Be a cool girl. And what happened? Talk it too seriously. I'm so excited.

Well, you can watch it tonight. It starts 7.30. Yep, TV2 will be available at TVNZ Plus as well, straight afterwards. Good luck to everyone involved. Thank you, Jeremy. Thanks for having me. Now, on a good day at this workplace Sometimes we get a little email

We get a little email saying a package has arrived for you at reception And sometimes it's something we've ordered Sometimes it's a little treat Well it will never be something we've ordered Because workplace couriers are only for work things Okay I believe part of the reception's job description is managing my personal shopping.

It's definitely not, Hayley. I believe you're fine. We're on in reception. I was just out there. And good morning. Good morning, Jackie. To the most crucial part of this entire business. Now, anyway, yesterday you received a package

completely work-related at the workplace. My work shorts Okay Sort of a uniform of sorts People don't know that we actually wear a uniform while we're on here It just helps us to feel united But I saw you sort of opening this And I was like, oh what are these You're like, oh I got some shorts

And you're really excited about them And I just saw them and I was like, nice shorts, man. Thank you. Great shorts. Great shorts. But that's, after that is when you admitted, yeah, I like them so much so that I've bought more pairs. And I was like, how many pairs do you have? Now I've got four pairs.

Of the exact same short. Of that boy shopping. Amazing shorts. Boy shop, boy shop. How, why do you need so many of the same thing? These shorts. They might stop making them and then you're not going to have any. And then I won't have them. That's what I said yesterday.

Hayley's like, where have you got them? What if they stop making them? Yeah, then I'll be without these amazing pants. But I believe you will find other pants. No. These pants were, so these pants I got, I just found them in the Nike shop at the start of the year. And they're kind of like, I think, you know how Nike do it.

They've got an ACG brand or whatever. It's like outdoors. It's more adventure brand. Do I look like I know that Nike, this guy. All right, Ronaldo, come down here. Inside knowledge and workings of the Nike brand. I don't know. I just know that it's like one of their brands.

And anyway, these shorts are like, they're kind of like outdoor shorts, but they're like, you could wear them to the gym. You could wear them hiking. You could wear them just in summer. They have this little belt. Yeah, and they've got zips on the pocket. So when you travel, they're amazing because you can zip them up. And they're light, so you could swim in them as well.

Oh, okay. They're the most amazing shorts I've ever owned. I'm sure they are, but you've already owned two pieces. Yeah, and then. And now you've owned four. I slammed them over summer and when I was away. You're saying the most, but you've already owned two pieces and now you've owned four. I slammed them over summer and when I was away. You're saying the most amazing shorts you've ever... Have you ever owned jorts?

Now, that's a hell of a short. I would loan you a pair of these for a day just to wear. Yeah, obviously you'd be wearing the same size as the waist, but... Maybe a couple of years ago. You would love these shorts. Look, I'm not saying the shorts aren't good shorts. Are they like two for $30 at Hellenstein's? Because that's my country.

Well, no, so when I went to, because the other day I was like, when I watched them, I was like, man, I love these shorts. And I just had a little moment and I was like, I can't. He had a moment with his shorts. I love you shorts, he said.

I said I love you shorts. I love you. He's never said it to us. He's never said it to anyone. And I said, I love you shorts. I don't ever want you to leave you shorts. He said, I love you shorts. I love you. He's never said it to us. He said it to anyone. And I said, I love you shorts. I don't ever want you to leave me shorts. Oh my God, the most important relationship this man has is with a pair of shorts. And then I Googled these shorts.

I was like, I don't even know if they still make them. Because when I got these, it was like February. Yeah, right. Oh my God, years ago. And then this place had them like 60% off because it's winter. They can't sell them. How can I get that? And so I was like, well, I must get two.

I don't know if I own, the only thing I own twice, because I like variants in the wardrobe. Yep. The only thing I own twice is a pair of pants and I own them in a large and a medium because I'm a fluctuator. Yeah, okay. And they're a great pant, no matter what size.

I want to buy these jeans again. I like these jeans. Yeah, they are good jeans. I love these jeans. But hang on. Didn't you buy those shoes again that you're wearing? Yeah, I did buy those shoes again because I love those shoes. They're great shoes. This makes perfect sense. Yeah. You find

something you like and you buy heaps of it. I'm not going to buy something I don't like and wear it once. It's like these glasses. I want to buy four more pairs of these so that when these get too loose and I'll... No, but get different glasses. No, I like these ones. No, but you should get ones without the serrated frames. Yeah, you get some with like...

It kind of looks like a fishing knife. Get some wire ones. Get some different shapes. I'm not getting wire ones. You've given up when you would get wire framed glasses. Oh, God. People are like, we need the name and the model of the shorts. Tell us the shorts.

They're great shorts. They're great shorts. Then old Uncle Scrooge is going to be outed for name and the model of the shorts. Tell us the shorts. They're great shorts. They're great shorts. Then old Uncle Scrooge is going to be outed for how much he's spending on shorts. No, these, they were like, on special, they were like $50, $60. For a pair of shorts? Yeah, being in a pair of pants, isn't that way more material? That's how much shorts cost, Vaughn. Oh, I won't even mention how much pants cost for a woman.

Oh, my God. Okay, so they're called Nike ACG Men's Hiking Shorts. I won't even mention how much pants cost for a woman oh my god okay so they're called Nike ACG men's hiking shorts ACG men's hiking shorts they're shorts yeah see they're short shorts yeah

they're really they're great shorts that's all nice he's wearing those with pulled up socks he looks like a bus driver from the 90s no it's nice

but they do have a belt yeah they've got a belt in them and they're oh my god they're just amazing I don't think that'd be for me. They're great for travelling too. Now, I've found some on a website.

Because the guy with a whopping mortgage and a family is definitely thinking about, man, where are my next travelling? I'd better buy some shorts. I'd better spend money to get ready for my travels. You just stick to your polar fleece track pants and your $10 boots. You know what?

We scoff, but that polar fleece, Hiver's polar fleece, I've worn it every day. And I'm thinking some pants might go right up there with it. Matching pants. Do it. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you in these shorts when the time comes. They're great shorts. Well, obviously not today. Two would have been enough, I think.

Two would suffice. No, now I've got four. All in the same colour? Yeah. Yeah, just black. Of course. Why would you go for anything else? Yeah, it goes with everything. Why ever change it up?

The Czech tennis players called Katarina Senikova and Tomas Makaha. They are the mixed doubles gold medal winners at the Olympics. Meaning a boy and a girl on the same team. Now, they won gold and obviously after that,

a lot of press and people saw them like kiss on the podium and they previously have been a couple, but it was revealed that actually a number of days just before winning gold at the Olympics, they separated. Like right before the Olympics? Yeah. Wouldn't you be like, we just got to get through to after the Olympics, they separate it. Like right before the Olympics? Yeah. Wouldn't you be like,

we've just got to get through to after the Olympics? Yeah. Like we're playing together. I know. I think maybe they've been together-ish, like four years together. Why do you keep hitting the ball to her? Yeah.

Why do you keep, okay, and the whole little break between sets. Yeah. She's like, why do you keep hitting it to the girl? You like her noises she's making. Yeah.

Yeah. You like seeing her boobs jiggle when she hits the ball. Yeah. You perv. Exactly. Well, I don't know why. I mean, isn't that crazy, though? I would be the same.

I'd be like, can we park this and focus on the tennis? Yeah, we're going to win a medal. Well, they did regardless. And they're not making a huge comment about it. They're just like, oh, this is all private. We just won gold., this is all private. We just won gold. Leave us alone.

Yeah. But I just can't imagine being able to park your emotions to the side. Now, I remember maybe we've talked about this on here before. People that have separated at terrible times, so they just do the thing that was important, carry on. Like, well, listen, we're separating separating but we've got my sister's wedding so you have to come otherwise it's going to cause a scene and I don't want to make it about me so just come to the wedding we haven't told the family we've broken up yeah exactly yeah like we've already got a trip booked so we're just gonna have to go that's like people that go on

holidays because they've spent all this money and they break up just before and they're like well I guess we're going on holiday would you do your daily activities with them still or would you just like follow the itinerary but be like, well, have a good day? Well, if you could afford different accommodation, you might get your own place. Yeah. But then if you can't.

So be like, we're travelling around to the same places over the same amount of time. And you're just running into them at like the Eiffel Tower. That's nice, eh? Yeah, it's real nice. Well, have a good afternoon. I've got that booking at their restaurant tonight. Yeah. Okay. Do you mind if I take someone else? No, that's real nice. Well, have a good afternoon. I've got that booking at their restaurant tonight. Okay.

Do you mind if I take someone else? No, that's fine. I'll find somewhere else to go. I mean, it would be so awkward. It'd be awkward. Well, this is what I want to know. Like, did you have to do something after you'd broken up with your ex? Follow through on something or still attend something?

Go somewhere? Keep up appearances. Keep up appearances. Or like maybe like this couple, you were part of a greater goal. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. You want to know what you still had to do with your ex after you'd broken up.

Because the, I don't know why I'm struggling to say their full title. The mixed doubles gold medal winning Olympic champions. Yeah. In the tennis. They were together and they broke up days before they arrived at the Olympics and followed through to the point that they won gold. Do you think that's what made them win gold?

Do you think they were in contention to start with? I think so. So like fueled by hatred. What are they going to do to get you back for being such an asshole? I'm going to win gold what I'm going to do to get you back for being such an asshole? I'm going to win gold. I'm going to win us a gold medal.

I'm going to win us a gold medal. I'm going to win it too. Good. See you out there. So yeah, what did you have to do with your ex after you'd broken up? I booked a cruise. Oh, that's a cabin, isn't it? And then went on that booked cruise with an ex like an idiot.

Ended up getting back together only to break up again eight months later when I moved overseas. Because you'd shag, yeah. If you got a holiday. I'm a man, you think so? You'd have a shag. Well, we've already done it. You know what I mean. Earlier this year, my ex came with me to my popper's funeral to keep up appearances for

the family just days after we broke up. Yeah, you don't want to be like, where's Greg? Oh, look. Yeah, why is he not here? I'll tell you later. Pop loves Greg. Pop's not the only thing that's died this week. Our life. My relationship with Greg died. With Greg.

The exact scenario happened to me. Found out my partner of seven years had cheated on me. Had to go to a wedding with our closest friends the next week. I'm sorry, but that's not the exact same scenario as winning an Olympic gold medal. Maybe it was one of the dream scenarios. Wait, hang on, keep reading the text

because they might have at the end won an Olympic gold. I hadn't told anyone and didn't tell anyone until five months later when we won an Olympic gold medal for mixed doubles tennis. Brilliant. See, you were going to cut this listener off too early. But then they went and won the gold medal, didn't they? Okay.

I still have to attend parent-teacher interviews with my ex for our kid. Dreaded every year and it's only 15 minutes long. Oh, yeah, true. I mean, parenting, that doesn't stop. I still have to raise my child with my ex. What's up with that? What is up with that? What is up with that?

Not me, but my friend had an overseas holiday booked with her ex and she went anyway, but changed her seats on the flight. Turned out he'd added changed her seats on the flight. Turned out he'd added his new girlfriend onto the ticket. They kept bumping into each other all over America since they had the same flights

to each destination. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. That's salt in the wound. Oh my gosh. Someone else had a cruise that we booked a year in advance. Very claustrophobic

to be stuck in a windowless cabin with your ex. Windowless cabin? But they were in the interior Yeah right Rooms Oh yuck No My friend found out

Her long term partner Was cheating on her They still went to Bali With a group of friends afterwards Shed a room and everything If it's a group of friends I guess you can kind of Distance yourself

Yeah a little bit more Just pretend you haven't got time Yeah Husband of 10 years Came out as gay Told me he was leaving Just before Christmas So had to go through Yeah, a little bit more. Husband of 10 years came out as gay. Told me he was leaving just before Christmas. So I had to go through three weeks of happy family things and many family events, including two big family Christmas days

because the family and our three kids didn't know. I only got through that with the help of my GP because it was a shit show. You're in the GP, got a little pill in there. I'm saying La Raz. We're talking your pams, your prams. Your dances. Right before Christmas.

That would just be the worst time. I know, but I mean I'm happy for your husband that he's realised who he is, but God, that's gotta be a tough time to go through. My friend had a surprise birthday dinner thrown by his parents and his friends, and what they thought was his still girlfriend was invited, but they'd broken up three days before,

which was an awkward one. Come on, Sarah. Come up here with the family. No, no, no. It's all good, Margaret. I don't want any photos. We'll just sit back here. Yeah.

Had to do a bachelor's degree together. They must have just met. Enrolled together. Yeah. Maybe they met first year. Or it could be like a small thing Like drama school or something Where you're just the one class the whole time

Yeah Friend of mine Friend of man Friend of man Friend of man Found out her partner was cheating on her the day Before they went on a big European trip Where they were going to be staying with his family

Oh my god Where are you going? I had to specifically request That my ex wasn't the DJ for our wedding. Oh, did you hire his company? Well, they must have hired the, no, maybe this guy does that venue or something. DJs. Oh, my God.

And that's nightmare stuff. I don't think I've ever had to, like, be around my exes too much. I don't have that many exes. Yeah. Hayley, when you just said, come on, Sarah, that was her name too. Was it? You totally guessed your friend's name. Yeah. Wow,, when you just said, come on, Sarah, that was her name too. Was it? You totally guessed your friend's name. Yeah, wow, wow, wow.

Easy, easy, easy peasy. There you go. People are pushing on through with their ex. Yeah, you've got to do it. 19 past. We used to date. Should we just air it out? Me and Fletch used to date a little bit.

It didn't work out when I first started working here. I don't think that happened. Things got crazy one night. I don't think that happened. It didn't work out, and now we're fine. We don't think that happened. Things got crazy one night. I don't think that happened. Didn't work out. And now we're fine. We just truck on. It's not awkward, Avon.

Nah. Nah, not at all. It's fine. We just carry on as friends. It's like it didn't even happen. Because it didn't happen. She's really taking offence at the thought of hooking up with you. It didn't happen.

Oh my God, you kind of erase me from your history. It's so rude. It was a special time. It just wasn't meant to be., you kind of erased me from your history. It's so rude. It was a special time, it just wasn't meant to be. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- And she's the, is she 800 metre freestyle? 800 metre freestyle, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

You know how usually with the swimming, it's like there's that line and it goes like, boop, boop, boop, boop, and you're like, which country came first? Hers was like, boop. Yeah. Hers was like, wait, wait. So she is at her fourth Olympic Games.

She has just won her ninth gold medal and her 14th medal overall, meaning that she is tied for the most successful female athlete going by medals. Yeah. With Larissa Lataniena, the Soviet gymnast who won nine golds in the 50s and 60s. It was amazing. It was a Ford Roller.

Yeah, yeah. A bit of a prance around. Have you seen the comparison of gymnastics, like the black and white coverage of gymnastics in like the 60s versus what it is now? Some like spins on the floor and whatnot. And then Simone Biles was like. And then it's also like my parents buying a house in 1978 and me trying to buy a house in 2024. Good stuff. The memes have been good.

The memes have been pretty good. Top tier. Top memes. Well, here's the fact about Katie Ledecky. She actually holds the top 18 times in the 800-meter freestyle swimming for women. Oh, why would you bother? The best 18 times in history belong to one woman. Wow.

So that's why no one's coming even close to her. Yeah. Wow. So this year in February, she was beaten for the first time in the 800 since 2010. She was beaten by a Canadian swimmer who, for some reason, didn't swim the 800 at the Summer McIntosh. Didn't swim the 800. Maybe her arms fell off.

Or maybe. That would be a real shame. So she's got the 18th fastest time in history. But of the top 25 times, Ledecky has 24 of them. Wow. So she's got the top 10 times, 19 of the top 20 times, as that McIntosh comes in at 18th,

and 24 of the top 25 times when it comes to the 800 metres. Do you reckon that's why she lost that one race? She was like, I don't want to even bother. I'm going to win this. And then she's like, oh my god, that Canadian. Yeah, who the heck is this? I'll try next time, I guess.

Why is she so fast? She's just found her event. And she just nails it. 800 metres is the perfect distance for her. Do you remember when we had that arcade machine at work? And I just really concentrated on Donkey Kong. Really nailed it. And I had all top 10 schools on Donkey Kong.

That's pretty sick, man. If only Donkey Kong was at the Olympics. You may have found your sport. So what's her record time for doing 800 metres? Eight minutes, four seconds, and 79th of a second. Yeah, wow, okay. So that's quite, yeah, that's a long swim. So she seems to have peaked in 2016. Her two top times are in 2016. Wow, this guy that can, did you So that's quite, yeah, that's a long swim. So she seems to have peaked in 2016.

Her two top times are in 2016. Wow, this guy that can, did you hear that? Yeah. She's peaked. No, I'm just going by the times, baby. She's over the hill. She's old. But then last year she got her third best time.

2018 was her fourth best. 2015 was her fifth best. When I swim like a kilometre, it will take me like 17 and a bit minutes. Or 16 maybe if I'm going real fast. 16.45. She's basically half. She's like a machine.

And to keep going, that's a long swim. Not like the little sprinty swims where it's like do-doof. She's just going and going and going. Yeah. 800 metres worth of absolutely punishing. Stroking forward. Is she done? Or is she going to do another one? I think, well,

four more years. Hold on, I did see how old she was here and she's definitely like, I'm slowing down. Yeah. She's sort of like there we go. Women. No, no, no. Washed up. Did you say washed up? Yeah, I didn't say washed up. Has she got kids? Is that what you're worried about? I wouldn't dare. When's she going to have kids?

Oh, she is hoping to compete in 2028. Oh, wow. She's seeing if her body allows her to. Are they in LA the next game? Yes, Los Angeles in 1928. That's correct. Wow, 1928. No, 2028.

1928. Don't worry, you're only 100 years old. We're only six months away from inventing time travel. The next Olympic Games will be in Los Angeles in 1928. Don't worry, you're only 100 years old. We're only six months away from inventing time travel. The next Olympic Games will be in Los Angeles in 1928. No, 2028 and I are the next. Even just saying 2028 is wild. Like next year is 2025. Yuck.

Yuck. Yeah. Yuck. That's not good. Man, what a machine, eh? Yeah, so today's fact of the day is American swimmer Katie Ledecky holds the top 17 times in the women's 800 swim. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Now, over the school holidays, I'll give you the back story. I'll give you the, what is the one at the front? Not the epilogue. The front story. The prologue.

Prologue. Okay. So, over the school holidays, I was just like getting real sick of the kids sitting inside on screens, not doing much. Fair enough. So I said, get on your bikes. We're going for a bike ride. Well, there's that news story today. It's on the front page of the Herald that kids are spending so much time on screens, it's mimicking ADHD symptoms.

Yeah. Spending too much time on their screens and displaying behaviours that mimic ADHD, says educational psychologist. Yeah. Yeah. Spending too much time on their screens and displaying behaviours that make them like ADHD says educational psychologist. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because their just brains are not getting stimulated enough so then they're like,

ah! They're watching trash on there. Yeah, man. So I drag them out and I say, get your bikes. You're going for a bike ride, I'm going to run.

And then Indy's like, I'm too big for my bike. And yeah, well, they don't stop growing these bloody kids and when you buy them a bike for their sixth birthday, apparently when they're 12,

it's not the right size. It's like when you, when your mum used to take you out to buy clothes and shoes and she always buy them a size too big. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, size too big and cheap.

Yeah. She was like, why am I going to, I'm not buying nice clothes. You're going to burn through them. Yeah. So August inherited Indy's bike and I made Indy ride

my chopper bike. Yeah. My 2004 chopper. So off we went and that was fun and on the way back, I said made Indy ride my chopper bike. My 2004 chopper. So off we went and that was fun and on the way back I said to Indy, we need to get you another bike but there's no way we're dropping that sort of money on another new bike. What are we talking? That last one was like $400.

For a kid. This is why I don't have them, eh? Yeah, totally. It's a good bike and it's still a great neck. For like cocktails. Like cocktails, dinners, trips away. Oh, absolutely. Good fun stuff. Oh, totally.

Not some twerk. So this bike, I'm like, we need to get you a new bike. But we're not spending a whole lot of money. So I had a little bit of a look on Marketplace and nothing really tickled my fancy. We were driving home from the city and I said, I know where I always see bikes. The dump.

The zero waste store. Oh, you love that store. I love that store. You know, sometimes I'll just call them because I'm feeling a little bit glum and on the way home from work I'll call in and see what's for sale at the dump. A little dopamine dump trip.

Yeah, a little dopamine trip. Then you're not feeling full of joy after working with your two best friends. I've exhausted everything. You're socially drained. So we called in and we were looking around and I said, we had a look and I was like, oh, no, there's nothing.

There's nothing really suitable here. And then she said, oh, what's that over there? There it was. Dump bike. Just sorry to interrupt. May I? I don't care. Was she open to the idea of going to the dump to look for a bike?

Because at her age, I would have been like, ooh, dude. Same. I would have been, ooh. Not against it, but not fully for it. I'm not just going to get a bike for the sake of getting a bike from her. But then she saw this one, she's like, I actually quite like that. That's not a bad bike.

And it was that GT brand. You've heard of that brand? Shimano Gears? Shimano Gears? Shimano Brakes? Shimano, and she said, I don't like the colour, and I said, you name the colour. We'll paint it any colour you want. Running math total.

Bike, $40. Okay. The brace on the back aren't great. The junk shop at the tip sells stuff. Yeah, sells stuff. Okay, yeah, right. I'm not in amongst the diggers being like, I'll find something in here.

Pulling out some hypodermic needles. Nappies. Another nappy. It's a well-set-up shop, the place that you go. It rules. It's cool. It rules. Good fun.

And the lady that we're seeing that's always wearing sunglasses, she rules. She's my absolute favourite. She's a funky lady. We should be doing this more, upcycling things and fixing things. So $40 for the bike. It needs a new back tyre and tube. I got a combo at the warehouse for $20.

Okay. So now we're running at $ tube. I got a combo at the warehouse for $20. Okay. So now we're running at $60. Indy wants it painted pink. So I buy a primer. I had some paint stripper, a primer and a pink can. That came to a total of like $30. Okay. $90?

Yeah. And then I needed new cables for the bike. And I got those yesterday. And they were like $30. $30 or $40? $120. Say $125. So there was a lot of time spent.

We stripped the paint. I took everything off. I took everything off. It's free. It's an experience. It started off as we were supposed to be doing it together but she kept being like,

I'm just going to go inside and get a drink. And then half an hour later I'd be like, that little shit never came back. And she's on the iPad yeah she's probably back on the screen

so in all the way I painted it I showed her how to like paint I didn't really know I googled and YouTubed everything and like learnt and then

getting the chain back on was a nightmare why does a chain go through a frame it never used to on my BMX it always sat outside the frame

now chains go through the frame you trust your YouTube tutorials and your own instincts and you know and handiness for things like brakes on your daughter's butt.

Yeah. Fast and loose. So then new cables went on. I had to teach myself how to move the dérailleur. French. Bonjour. Bonjour. On the Shimano gears.

Back one piece of cake. The front one. Have you ever had to adjust your derailleur? It's annoying. Yeah. There's adjustment screws. Yeah, it's frustrating. So after lots of trial and error, that worked.

So yesterday, the last thing to put on was the brakes. Did the gears. Did the brakes. We got a bell? We got a bell? We got any bells? We got a basket? There's no bell or basket.

Yeah. So I get it done. And I'm like, holy shit, I've done it. Send a photo to the boys. They're all like, looking good, dude. There's the boys. You've done well there. Send a photo to you guys.

You're like, that's actually pretty well. You actually said something horrible about the colour. I won't air that here. Aaron loved it. Aaron was very impressed about the paint. Aaron saw it in person. It's Barbie pink. It's Barbie pink.

Aaron saw it in person yesterday and he was like, look at this bloody job you've done with the paint. How fantastic. You just did that with a can, mate. Yeah, he was blowing away. You just did it with a can. Good finish there. Yeah.

So then when it was finished, I was like, it's done. I rode it around from the garage in front of the lounge window and I was waving. And Indy stood up and looked and was like, nodded and then sat back down. Oh, no. And then Sade came to the door and like opened it and shook her head. And I was like, Indy, come out and ride your new bike.

Sade's like, no, it's too bloody cold. She's not coming outside. And they shut the door and it's like. Oh, horny. Horny. So I was like, well, I'm going for a bike ride. So I rode down the hill outside our place and up the other hill because you've got to test if it's good on hills up and down and then along

how were the Shimano gears? the Shimano gears were flawless oh mate you should sell it if she doesn't want it smooth? sell it smooth and didn't make a sound

you can make $200 and that's your money and then you can spend that on whatever you want that's my money because it's not their stinking money is it? no one gave a shit

no one gave a shit if my dad had done that I would have been like heck yeah bike no your dad would have made you say yeah thank you, heck yeah, bike. No, your dad would have made you say, yeah, thank you, dad. Anybody still would have smacked me for sneaking off when I said I was just going to go get a drink and never go back. Well, I think, we think you've done a phenomenal job.

Thank you. And do you know what? We really doubted it when you said you bought a $40 dump bike. Every one. Sade doubted me. I even wrote dump bike a song. It goes to the tune of Greased Lightning. Here comes Indy riding on her cool dump bike. They doubted me. I even wrote dump bike a song. It goes to the tune of Greased Lightning. Here comes Indy riding on her cool dump bike.

Go dump bike, go, go dump bike. It was blue and now it's bobby pink. Go dump bike, go, go dump bike. It is fast. Dump bike. It's got brakes. Dump bike. Shimano get ears.

Dump bike. Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump bike. We're really proud of you. No one cares. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Like, we're really proud of you. No one cares. No, we care. We care. Fathers are out here thanklessly. Well, this is what he said in the group chat,

is mothers have had a two-grip. Mothers have had a two-grip for too long. I'm sick. Where's mum? Oh, my God, I ruined my body for you. That's great, mum. I birthed you. Thanks, mum.

Dads are just like, boot your bike. So how long is this going to last for you in terms of like- Like getting over it. Yeah, getting over it. Like how many times are you going to need to see her on the bike? Or every time I see her-

Oh, multiple times. Okay. Every time I see the bike just sitting in the garage, I'll always be like, that was a waste of time. Got it. It really hurts, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does hurt. Your shadow's like, you could probably have bought a bike for $120. I'm like, do you have any concept Got it, it really hurts doesn't it This show does like You could probably have bought a bike for $120 I was like you have any concept Of how much bikes cost Woman Wow We think you've done such a great job

You've done a great job We here at ZM On behalf of us and Alice's And we've got a round of applause behind you Just want to say well done Vaughn On your dump bike renovation You've done a great job You've done a great job

Thank you We're proud of you To my real family then Yeah Just want to say well done, Vaughan, on your dump bike renovation. You've done a great job. You've done a great job. Thank you. We're proud of you. To my real family then. Yeah. You're welcome. The ones who will be written into the will. Thank you. I borrowed $20.

Right, you absolutely can. I've actually got $20 in my wallet. Would you like to borrow $20? Yes, I would. Oh, that's good. Look at that. Because you're doing so nice. He does.

He's got a $20 note. He said borrow. I said have. Lollies! Lollies! Lollies! Are you kids? Go on, get out of here, you little ratbag. Play it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Look, I'm just trying to be real with you. You know, I'm just trying to be real, relatable. You know, I'm not too proud to say I've got some pimples in my butt. Now, this happened when I came back from overseas. And I don't know why, what happened But I just like caught it in the mirror and was like What you doing there?

Do you think it was like, you know in summer You get so sweaty and stuff? Maybe, yeah like wrong undies Sweaty Europe summer No thrush So is that three summers in a row now? Because I've added a third summer in there Thank you, applause from the women.

Thank you. Do you know what I think it could be? What? Sitting on that plane for a whole day. Yeah, it could be because it was long flights. Long flights. You get a little butt pimple. Maybe, but not pimple.

Pimples. Right. Anyway, so I saw it was like, we've got to be dealing with that. And I did my research about, you know, things to do. You were talking your cotton bamboo undies don't sit in your sweaty gym gear I'm bad for that after the gym and I wear like leggings you know and it's like get out of it

you gotta let that skin breathe I know I know anyway so I did my research and you know then I had the debacle of I bought all this sort of butt treatment stuff and then it got sent to the wrong place and I had to get it back and da da da da it arrived and then yesterday I thought today is the day so I went to the wrong place and I had to get it back and da da da da, it arrived. And then yesterday I thought today is the day. So I went to the gym yesterday, I had a shower

and then I put on my first butt mask. And it's like a... So it's like a face mask. Yeah, kind of. This was like a clay stick. I've used clay face masks before. But it was like a stick, like a deodorant stick. Like that. And then you take the cap

off and you wind it up and it's this big clay stick. And then I was like. Do you have to wet the area? No, you dry it off. It's a dry area. It's dry. So the stick itself has a sort of a wet balmy texture to it. But dry clay.

Think clay. It's like, it was quite tough. And then I was like, all right, how do I do this? Sticking it on your butt. Straight on the butt. Right on onto the butt. Yeah. And then I. All, all right, how do I do this? Sticking it on your butt. Sticking it straight on the butt. Right on onto the butt. Yeah. And then I.

All the way to the hole? To the pinch. Where it closes off. To the cliff. Where the cheek meets cheek. Where cheek kisses cheek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fletcher looking puzzle, do your cheeks not touch?

I've got a peachy tush. You look confused. No, they do. Do your cheeks not touch? I've got a peachy tush. You're looking confused. No, they do. Do your cheeks not touch? I was just like wondering where you would stop. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't look. I didn't go into the crevice.

No, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Okay. It was my first foray. But do you know what? My mirror in my bathroom's too high. And at the moment, we've got no other mirror.

Yeah. Literally, the worst thing we've ever had to do was I turned on my camera on my phone and like held it up like this and I had to like stand before. God please tell me you hadn't opened up Instagram camera and you went going live I went live yeah I went live

I imagine and I had to like get this DO stick and like get it right into the thing because I've got a big butt so I had to really get the whole area and like right down to the bottom of the cheek. Anyway so I did that and then for some reason I recorded it I don't know why like I didn't just use

the camera live I recorded it and then that's been promptly deleted Did you delete from deleted? Oh I don't know was it in the cloud? Recently deleted it might be in the cloud Oh god no we will deal with that later Is it in the cloud? Recently deleted. It might be in the cloud. It's recently deleted. It's in the cloud. Okay. Oh, God, no. We will deal with that later.

And then, you know, I just sort of like came out of the bathroom. You've got to leave it on for like 15, 20 minutes. And I was like, well, what do I do? And I didn't want to get anything on the thing, so I just sort of lay on the floor with the butt out. Yeah. And I thought, oh, you know, people had listened to this process and had texted when I first said that I was going to deal with this butt. And they were interested.

So I sent a little cheeky photo. And you could see just the edge of the butt mask on my butt, on my tush. And I put it up to Instagram. And then so many people didn't know what I was doing. And so many messages being like, oh, my God, is this like a firming thing or an anti-cellulite thing or is it a lifting thing? Oh, my gosh. And I was like, and I had to reply to everyone. I'm getting better at replying, by the way.

People have noticed. They've been commenting. Oh, wow. Yeah, like, thank you for replying. I feel chosen. Good work. Yeah. Treat them mean, keep them keen.

Yeah. And I had to reply to like so many anonymous strangers like, no, I got butt pimples. No, I got pimples all over my butt. So that was kind of more fun. How much of the stick did you use? I don't know. Not much. Will you go back for another one?

Yeah, I'll go again. I'm going to make this a process. I'm going to heal a butt. Surely they just go away by themselves, right? I don't know. I got a wash. Maybe get out of your stanky gym gear. I got a wash, like a specific body acne wash and I scrubbed it afterwards and then I put on a little cream. We're good. We're going to deal with the crap. You're creaming same chunky gym gear. Yeah, I got a wash, like a specific body acne wash, and I scrubbed it afterwards, and then I put on a little cream.

We're good. We're going to deal with the crap. You're creaming it and everything. I'm really going to get rid of these pre-summer. It's sexy stuff. Do you know what? I've never been more attractive in my life, and I can't believe people can even stand to be around me.

I'm so hot and sexually attractive to everyone. I mean, you guys must be struggling right now. We should leave hot and sexually attractive to everyone. I mean, you guys must be struggling right now. We should leave and we all need to cool off. Let's just cool off, everyone.

Okay, if you had to rate, review, or marry Fletch, Vaughn, or Hayley, what one would it be?

Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry.

Oh, okay. No comment. I would have sex with the podcast. I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.