ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th December 2023

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Toilet Bins  Top 6: Wake-Jumping  Heart-Shaped Jewellery  Silly Little Poll!  The Sweater Curse  Hayley's Rogue Hair  Aaron & the Napkins  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleach, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fleach, Fawn and Hayley, two minutes past six. Taylor Swift, congratulations. Yeah, big congrats, Tay.

Best most powerful woman in the world. I would argue, I don't know who the other four are, but I'd argue she's more powerful. I don't see... I'm going to see if I can find it. I don't see the other four political leaders selling out concerts all around the world. Number one, European Central Bank President. Oh, no.

No, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen. Number one, European Central Bank President Christine Landgard. Number two, United States Vice President Kamala Harris. Three, an Italian Prime Minister Giorgio Meloni. At four, Swift. Five. Pretty cool for her to be up there, eh? Yeah.

Six, yo mama. Yo mama. Christine's on the list, is she? Yo mama. Influential. Yo mama. Well, I think in your individual life, your mother's very... Melinda Gates is number 10 still. Powerful woman. I don't really know any of these women.

I feel like a bad feminized other than Tay Tay. Well, you said it. You said it, yeah. 28th. Oh, I thought it was Gwen Stefani. It's someone else. I was like, wow, she's climbed up. That would have been a comeback for her, Oprah's in 31st. Oh, I thought it was Gwen Stefani. It's someone else. I was like, wow, she's climbed up.

That would have been a comeback for her, wouldn't it? Oprah's in 31st. Oh, slip. She'll make a big move next year. I think she wants to be higher. Yeah. She slipped because of the Hawaiian. Yeah, because she got a bit of bad press after that.

Yes, she did. Just scanning for my name, sorry. Where are you on the list? You have to go right down. 74, there's Rihanna. Get a little thing. Doodle doodle doodle. Robin, I thought it was Robin Malcolm.

Robin Denholm. No, I just, no. You're not on the list there, are you? That's why I'm Barbie. Barbie's number 100. Are you kidding? Yeah, a doll. A doll, cool.

The top six on the way. Yeah, hell of a year, though. Born? Yes, you did. Yeah, I don't know if you guys saw this footage, but a guy from a Dubai skyscraper in the long lap pool on the top using a very big drone wakeboarded along the pool, and then he had a ramp, and he jumped off the side of the skyscraper,

and then he deployed a base jumping parachute and landed on the beach down below. God, there's some wacky stuff in Dubai. Red Bull. Yeah, of course it was. It was a Red Bull deal. It was a Red Bull deal. That was one of the comments on the video.

It was just like, who comes up with this shit? Red Bull. Yeah. Red Bull. What about the top six things that that guy thought as he jumped off the building in Dubai on a wakeboard about to deploy a parachute. Now, the majority of people are using their toilet to put trash in it, basically.

This I cannot believe. So, I mean, trash can be a number of things. So they're saying eight in ten adults have used their toilet to flush things other than pee-pees, poo-poos. So that's anything other than your number one's, your number two's in toilet paper. Maybe a sanipad? Is that on the list?

They said 27% of women have ditched tampons. More than 30% of people are ditching the tampons in the toilets. Do they question? Yeah. Do they float? No. I mean, they'll absorb a lot of the water. And then.

And then you flush them and it's so bad. You absolutely should not be flushing them. Yeah, unless you're in like a public. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There was a, I went through a stage a while ago. As a rate payer, I will say. That becomes my problem. I did go through a stage a while ago where- As a rate payer, I will say, that becomes my problem.

I did go through a stage ages ago, and then I think Vaughan shamed me out of it, where I'd empty my dice and dust. Because most of it's just cat hair and just dust. So hair is another thing. I do that in my bathroom. You know when you brush your hair and then you pull, you empty the brush with your hair that's fallen out.

Yeah. I'll curl it up into a little ball and I'll plop it in the toilet. Oh, yeah, same. I did like shave my chest yesterday. Yeah. And I like had all the hair in the sink and I just got a bigger bunch of it. Why don't you do it in the shower? Nah, because I've got like a little shower grate that gets clonked easy.

You can take that out though. Nah, it's a pain in the ass. It'll have a big hole underneath. Annoying. And you'll find, by the way, when you go to clean your shower, you will find a lot of my hair in there. Oh, yeah, I know. As the most haired woman using that shower as of late.

I apologise. So, yeah, tampons is a big one. Animal waste, you do this when you clean your little box. No, but that's poos. Yeah, that's allowed because it's cat poos. It's got grit stuck to it. It's got a bit of rocky grit. Ah, one or two bits of cat litter.

A bit of silicon grit. Cigarette butts. Makeup. Wait, who is flushing ciggy butts down the toilet? Oh, when you're having your morning dart and poo. I was going to say someone who's just having a shit in a dart, I reckon. You are not. No one is sitting. Even people that smoke inside don't even sit on the toilet, do they? dart, I reckon. You are not. No one is sitting,

even people that smoke inside don't even sit on the toilet, do they? I don't know. That is disgusting. I've had a lot of the occasional cigarette in the shower. It blows my mind when people smoke inside and in their cars. Same.

It's wild. So crazy. I never did that when I was renting. Make up, medicine and cooking grease. Because you know at the end A lot of people don't know what to do And you don't want to put it down your kitchen drain But they don't have the patience to wait for it to solidify

And put it in the bin But do they think that the kitchen drain and the toilet drain are different? They go in different places That's how we get fatbergs Yeah That's how the pipes get clogged Yeah That's quite wild

I know I think here would be the only thing that I would put down the toilet that's not pee-pee poo-poos. Man, plumbers must see some stuff, eh? Yeah. God, the amount and all the hair. But other than that, I don't think I'd put anything else down there. I've been known to maybe try to flush a cotton bud.

Okay. Like on a stick? Yeah. And fingernails. You can't flush those. Yuck. Are you sitting there on the toilet clipping your nails? No, no, no, no, no.

But I think if I've like clipped them and sort of collected them, maybe I'll wrap them up in a bit of TP. Okay. And pop them down the train. Mankey. Mankey human beings. It's gross trying to be a human being. 12 past 6. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm pretty sure we talked about this last

year. I'm pretty sure we talked about it the year before last. I think we should make a commitment to talk about it every year. On this day? Okay. Well alright. Join us on December the 6th next year when we tell you it's 32 years since the first text message was sent. Yeah. Because this year, it's the 31st year.

Which feels like marking the 30th year last year would have made sense. Which is why I think we did it. Yeah. It was probably a bigger deal. I think we could turn this into a real event. We could turn it. We could campaign for a public holiday. Of the first ever text message.

Well, in 1992, Richard received a text from Neil that said, Merry Christmas. 1992? Yeah, 1992. I would have thought it would have been later than that. Yeah, same. So that's what they said. It was a surprise how long it took people to take up the technology, but they think it was just because the phones were so expensive.

Because my mum was still on the pager all through the 90s. She was a real estate agent. Yeah, and I used to ring up LJ Hooker and be like, can you page my mum and say this? And they'd type it into that little machine and it would buzz on her belt.

But wouldn't that cost some money? I don't give a shit. It's not costing me any money. You would just say, ma'am, what's for dinner? Ma'am, can Jess come over for dinner, ma'am? They just add it on to the bloody fees that they're charging the person whose house

they're selling, right? Absolutely. For $80,000 or whatever houses cost that day. Yeah. So, yeah, they sent it and then blah, blah, blah. And it was Merry Christmas was the message. Yep, the first ever text message sent to me. Wow, what's the phone they sent it on? Or was it computer to computer? Nah, it

wasn't. It was on a phone. It was on an Orbitel 901 handset. An Orbitel? That's not even a phone brand now, is it? No, I don't think so. Unless they became somebody else. 901 handset? I'm just having a look at it. It'll be the size of a bloody brick.

Oh, good Lord, it's got a pack on it. It's almost the size of a backpack. Oh, yeah, it's like a car. It looks like an old phone, like a home phone, landline. Yeah, but you could take it with you. Did you see the other day they're looking at making green text messages go away? Oh, thank God. Like Apple are like, we're going to do something.

I don't know the technical thing. They're going to make it so that you can just text blue to everyone. We saw it from the wheat from the chaff. That's what I mean. How will we rate people? How will you know? How will we base our respect from the chaff? That's what I mean. How will we rate people? How will you know? How will we base our respect that we give that person? Exactly.

A quick little judgment. Mine's when I go to, because I often send texts from my computers, you know, and then when you can't do that because it's not blue, I'm just trying to work my way out, them out of my life. Well, apparently that's coming.

It's imminent. Imminent. Happy 31 year anniversary to the first text message. Now, the 2023 word of the year hath been crowned. Every dictionary has their own word of the year so we always end up with like ten different words. We pay our respects to each one individually because we are

a huge fan of words and there's got to be a word for that if you're a huge fan of words. Words for being a huge fan of words. And at this time of the year, any topic that fills a talk break is welcome on the show. Is welcomed by all media, actually.

All media, actually. Well, as wordists, we want to celebrate the Oxford. Now, this is my dictionary of choice. Is it? Because you love an Oxford comma, don't you? Didn't we agree to hedge our bets on dictionaries? You were going to take Oxford. I was going to take Collins.

I think you got the Macquarie. How embarrassing for you. The Australian dictionary is my favourite because last year their word of the year was bachelor's handbag. And this year it was cosy live cry. Cosy livey cry. I think they have the best words of the year. I think they need to take it more seriously like us over here in Oxford.

With the word of the year being riz. Really? I feel like no. Now, that's a Gen Z term. Riz meaning style, charm, attractiveness, short for charisma. Yeah. The ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner.

You got that Riz, baby. Now, I would say this studio be oozing riz. Don't do this. Us, I'll be saying this studio be oozing de riz. No cap. No cap. No, Carwen's shaking her head. She's spitting facts.

This studio, no cap. Carwen needs to touch grass. Fact. We got de riz. No cap. Can we just get confirmation from Gen Z, Shannon? We got de riz? I think you tried to have Riz.

Oh, no, she paused too much there. That was a pregnant pause. She paused too much there. Can have Riz. Wow. No, you have Riz. You have your moments. Wait, so it's not constant Riz.

It's just some partial fleeting Riz. I'm messing with you guys. You guys have got mad Riz. We've got mad Riz. Oh, excellent. Wow. I can't believe Oxford guys. You guys have got mad Riz. We've got mad Riz. Oh, excellent. Wow. I can't believe Oxford have swooped this low, to be honest. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.

There was a lot of Gen Z terms. Beige flag, choogy, simp, no cap. I think choogy was like three years old. Yeah, I know. Drip, bop, slap, bussin', all up for a sus, mid, all up for a contention for the word of the year for Oxford. Riz took it out. Everything you hear from your kids, Vaughan, basically, on the daily.

What would you say is our word of the year? What would be your word of the year? What's the word you reckon you relied on heavily? Tired. I always say awesome. Awesome. That's awesome. I don't know why I just do it.

Let's bring back things like awesome, wicked. Gnarly's due a comeback. Sick. Is it. Awesome. That's awesome. I don't know why I just do it. Let's bring back things like awesome. Wicked. Gnarly's due a comeback. Is it? Gnarly's definitely. Gnarly? Yeah. Cowabunga? We could bring back Cowabunga.

I'm happy with Cowabunga. Maybe it needs a short though. It could be just a bung. What about Rad? Bunga. Rad's great. Rad was big for us. I'd say probably my word of the year is the F word.

I use that a lot. You do. Swear words are fine. Swear words are neat. Swear words are great. I reckon my word of the year is the F word. I use that a lot. You do. Swear words are fine. Swear words are neat. Swear words are great. I reckon our word of the year would be gotcha. Yes.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Constantly trying to trip each other up and get each other cancelled off air. For some reason we're trying to end

each other's careers. Then pointing at the camera saying gotcha. Gotcha. We have off-air chats that honestly, listener, you shall never be privy to.

Listeners understand this is your group chats that you have with your friends. The honestly Listener You shall never be privy to Listeners understand This is your group chats That you have with your friends The group chats You say some outrageous things That you hope will never be leaked Except little do you know Listener

We're filmed the whole time And we like to say And recorded actually It is recording the whole time Do you know The producers of our show Have the complete ability Within their own hands

At any given moment To end us all And yet they don't It's kind of godlike, isn't it, really? Do you know why they don't? Because they got sick riz, cuz. Don't do that. Don't do that. I don't know.

I could be close. Wow. It could be your secret Santa gift for her. So, yeah, I think, yeah, what you're saying is it better be a good secret Santa gift, otherwise you're ending Hayley. Is that what you're saying? I believe she wanted a black jacket. Let me have a little looky online.

Carwen came into work demanding a black jacket from one of us for Secret Santa. She said, whoever's got my secret Santa. Knowing that the limit is $20. Pop down to Codnod. Okay. Are they even $20 there? No.

Oh my gosh, they've got so expensive. Oh. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Red Bull athlete Brian Grubb wakeskated on the roof of a building in Dubai, and then when he got to the end, he went, wee, over a jump and off a ramp, and then pulled a parachute and base jumped.

Well, they always have videos like this at my gym on, like, loop on the big screen. People, like, base jumping. Oh, yeah. What is that thing called? What, base jumping? No, no, no, no, that. Every now and then it'll flash up who makes it.

Oh, yeah, like bars. It's different bars have it as well, yeah. Yeah. And then there's Chuck and Ed in the mix of it. I do not know what you're talking about. It's this TV service that bars and stuff buy and there's this, I think it's the same people that make that quiz one where a quiz just like rotates through. Do you believe it

or not? So they called this wakebasing. What Brian Grubb did. And he went skiddly-dee from 964 foot, so 300 metres above the Earth's surface. Yikes. That's an absolute no

from me. They had to build a custom drone powerful enough to tow him. That's what I saw when he was getting towed. I was like what's towing him? And then I saw it was a drone. I was like, shit. Must be wild stuff,

Red Bull. Like those people in the wingsuits. Yeah. Sometimes every now and again one of them will smash into a mountain and die. That's not good.

Remember when that guy jumped from space? That's probably the most famous one. Because that kind of captivated even not extreme athletes. And I know

Forta J. Evan was like. Yeah. No thanks. I know next year we're getting the Red Bull high at the cliff, the diving, and they're going to do it

in the Auckland Viaduct. Are they? They're going to build a massive platform. They've done it in like Sydney. They've done it all over the world. It's amazing. What's that old European bridge

they do it on? Yes, they do it there. That's insane. That's terrifying. Yeah. No thanks. Yeah. Also a no from me.

Yeah. I just like walking on the ground. I'm a huge fan of the ground. I love the ground so much. Grass ground, concrete ground. Grass is my favourite ground because it's ground ground. It's like right now we're on the ground, but it's a fake ground. Yeah, we're on a carpet ground.

We're on elevated ground. So he jumped off it and base jumped to the ground. The whole thing was tremendous to watch. If you haven't watched it, just simply missed. I've got the top six things that were going through his mind. Okay. As he did at number six on the list. Oh, I just actually thought the chicky babes are going to quite like this.

Yeah. The chicky babes. Just as he was like, whee, the drone was up and he was about to jump and do the thing on the wake skate. He's like, oh, the chicky babes are going to like this. The chicky babes will be loving this. They're going to love this. Number five on the list of the top six things Brian thought as he wake skated and then base jumped off the skyscraper in Dubai was,

now hold on, what backpack have I got on? Is it my parachute or is it my picnic backpack? That's something I'd do. I'd get my work backpack and be like, oh. Shake it, and if you hear the knives and forks rattling around, you've got your wrong backpack. You don't want it to be your bloody Fjallraven kranken on the back. Not at all.

All right, number four on the list of the top six things going through Brian's mind as he wake-skated off a Dubai skyscraper. Man, this is going to look sick on the gram. Yeah, good content. I hope someone's filming it. Because it's going to look sick. You want to check that. He was being towed by a drone. I'm assuming that had a camera. Yeah, but you want multi-angle.

And you want a couple of photos too. You can't just use screen grabs from videos for photos. It's not very clear. I hope they had a good photographer there. Number three on the list of the top six things going through Brian's mind as he wake skated had a good photographer there. Number three on the list of the top six things going through Brian's mind as he wake skated off a skyscraper. Dubai. More like,

do babes think this is hot? Of course they do. I'm Brian, bitch! It's the chicky babes again. The chicky babes. I think he might be doing it for the chicky babes. Who do you reckon scores

more honeys? Red Bull athletes or Red Bull girls? Promo girls. Oh. Red Bull athletes. I reckon big crossover. Because your wife is a former Red Bull.

Yes. Because remember, you had to go in the back. You weren't allowed out in the minis. You had to go in the back storage units. Yeah, I was doing it. I was on the computers. You did what they, I believe, called grunt work. I did the grunt work.

Yeah. How many cans would you like in the mini today, girls? The Red Bull Troll. Okay, that's a very funny sketch idea. They pull it in the minis. Or the hot girls. And then the Red Bull Troll. I've got four dozen girls.

Is that going to be enough? I'm getting big hunchback vibes. Big hunchback of Notre Dame vibes. She's got warts on her face. Yeah, and then you ring the bells to let the Red Bull girls know that their cars are loaded so they can... Yep. The Red Bull truck. I'm looking at Brian.

He's 43 years old and the dudes are absolute stacked horn. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Feel free to forward to the group chat. He's done all this other amazing stuff too on the Red Bull website. Okay. Yeah, looking at everything else that Brian's done. He's done all this other amazing stuff too on the Red Bull website. You're looking at everything else that Brian's done.

Brian's done a lot, has he? He e-foiled through some blue spring caverns. So you know those ones that you stand on and you get pumping? Yeah. And then you can go. He did that through some dark caverns with a head torch on. Oh, my God. Amazing. Yeah, dude.

He's out there getting it. The top six things going through Brian's mind as he wakeskated off the skyscraper in Dubai. Number two on the list. I wonder if my board shorts got stuck to my penis when I left the water. Yeah. We saw everything. Oh, my God.

Every time you get out of the water, you've got to do a little grip and pull. A little. Yeah, and it's sealed and you've got to. Yeah. I like doing it on bikini bottoms and it gives me a big fupa. Yeah, the air gets trapped in there.

And then you get back in the pool and then it goes... And you've always got to wear undies if you're wearing light blue or white boardies. Or any kind of togs. Because otherwise, no, we see you... Hold you. You said hold you. I see your whole duck. And number one on the list of the top six things that Brian thought as he waked, skated off a skyscraper in Dubai before base jumping.

I did a little wee when I was in the pool. Of course. You know, if he's excited and then he hits the water and immediately like, you get the wee shiver. Yeah. You're going to wee. And then he just did it. He really taken the sexiness out of this Red Bull stunt. He just did it. Especially because he's doing it for the chicky sexiness out of this Red Bull stunt form. He just did it.

Especially because he's doing it for the chicky babes. Oh, absolutely doing it for the chicky babes. That is today's top six. Christmas is 19 days away. And if you haven't started doing your Christmas shopping, if you're going to do a lot of it, I'd get out there because already the motorways are crazy. This and next weekend

will be the big weekends for shopping, right? I reckon it'll be cray-cray. Now, a lot of people have women in their lives that they are buying for. Vaughn, you've got a waft. Do you know what you're going to get sharts for Chrissy?

Oh, I assume we're not doing presents. Yeah. Oh, how? Oh, no. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, it'll be a discussion soon, but no, I don't think we're going to do presents. Okay. I think.

But you've got to. Maybe we should touch base with sharts and just make sure. Yeah, you've got to get a little something. Yeah. My dad does every year, rings me. Yeah. And is like, hey, hey babe can you help me with with mum and i'm like yeah it's still weird it's still weird mum calls me baby dad calls me babe yeah is it weird i think that should be a poll i think that's

almost poll worthy is it weird that hayley's dad calls her babe? Yeah. Hi, babe. No, that's it. That's all we call each other in our family. Like maybe babes is a joke. No, babes is definitely way more couple. Hey, babes. I feel like your mum calling you babe and your dad calling you baby makes more sense. No. Jared's a hard no on dad calling you baby.

It's weird. Anyway, each family to their own well women have united online for a PSA men please do not buy your girlfriend heart shaped jewellery she doesn't want it I promise you no I literally got a new heart shaped necklace a couple of days ago

but I chose this myself and also it's black and emo and exciting it's not when we're saying heart shaped jewellery it's not a heart it's black and emo and exciting. It's not, when we're saying heart shaped jewellery it's not a heart, it's the swirly heart. It is like, it is the shit. It is the swirly, whirly hearts with like

diamantes and like the hearts all like warped and weird. This is quite embarrassing because I actually got half of, like one of those but half of it's one half of the heart and the other half and I'm giving one to Vaughn. And it says B-F-R-E. B-F-R-E.

No, no, no, that's cute. That's cute. Oh, okay. You've got street. I'm doing it. It's off. Wake up. Why is your alarm going off?

It should have been at work by now. It's for work. I have to post something. Wake up. Check out F-E-H-Z-M soon. On what? Instagram. Are you just live teasing our Instagram post?

I'm plugging during the show. I like that. Anyway, look, it is jewellery that we have all been bought at some time in our life. A swirly gold heart with like a little swirl of diamantes, not diamonds. Is this more mum? Can I say, is it more mum jewellery? Yeah. It feels like it's in that.

But boyfriends have for years bought this. Mums don't want that shit. No, mums don't want it. I will say I have had multiple boyfriends buy me these and I have sold every single one of them. You've sold them to who? Another poor dude who's going to take it home to his partner. It's just so good.

Yeah, sold it all off. As someone who used to work in jewellery, this is my hot tips if you're a man and going to buy jewellery. Oh, okay. Hold on, this is a freebie. Everybody listen up. Know her hair colour. Yeah.

Know her preference, so if she wears more gold or silver. Yeah. And then just kind of like know something she's interested in. Yeah. And then the people at the store will be able to help you. Yeah, don't go in. So they just changed back to gold like two years ago. Yeah, because gold is silver.

She was always a silver. She was always a silver. Because Aaron's done this before. He went into, can't remember where it was, and was like, I want to buy her something. And they were like, what's she into? And he said, and then he got the best necklace. And then I left it in the washing machine

and I still haven't told him. We have not got there yet if you've listened to that journey. Hey, so as part of this, people have put together, collated a small list of what you could buy a woman instead of a tacky heart necklace. Okay, go. A spa experience, cashmere jumpers. No, that starts with a five.

Oh, just casual cashmere. Specific jewellery they've asked for. I just tell Aaron as well. Good quality active wear. Lululemon. Yeah. An air jewellery they've asked for. I just tell Aaron as well. Good quality active wear. Lululemon. Yeah. An air fryer. An air fryer.

Oh, we are simple. Okay, I would not be mad if someone got me an air fryer for Christmas. Pasta making class. Love that. Warm blankets. High-end candles. Or a subscription to a streaming service. So there are some options of things that we might actually enjoy.

You cannot tell me being like, hey, I paid for Netflix for a year is going to be a suitable thing to give to them on Christmas Day. That's insanity. No, but you get to watch half of it as well. I know, that's immediately what they'll think. Yeah, but if you didn't live together and you were in early days, I'd find that a wicked gift. So, Carwen, you go into the jewellery, you know their hair colour.

Hair colour, their preference. So if they wear one of either. And then just something they're interested in. Okay, so brown hair, back to gold, loves dolphins. No, she doesn't. Gold dolphins, she doesn't love them as much as you say. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Today's silly little poll is do you put ice in your... When if it's... I don't know, if it's a warm temp? Why do you want to drink cold and you've got it at room temp? Yep. Always. Yeah. I always do it. I just grew up thinking that was what you do if it wasn't cold enough for you. Yeah.

I love an icy cold Prosecco, and if it's not, maybe a little cube of ice. I know it waters it down, but I'm not a huge sipper, to be honest. It's not like it's lingering for 30 minutes. Yeah. That's what people say about whiskey. Don't put ice in it. It waters it down, but I'm not a huge sipper, to be honest. It's not like it's lingering for 30 minutes. Yeah, that's what people say about whiskey. Don't put ice in it, it waters it down. I'm like, only if you're drinking it like a baby. Only if you're sipping it like it's your mama's teat, not just going. Yeah, I feel like it's fine.

So 86% of people said no, they don't put ice in their wine. Wow, okay. No, you got it. I thought it was way more common. 14% of people said yes, I put ice in my wine. In my wine. I think it's only if it's not cold enough, right? If it's not cold enough, yeah.

That's the general thought. Kylie said, I love my wine ice cold, so in the warmer months, ice keeps it colder for longer. Okay. Bye says, I do not do this because I'm not a bloody animal wine ice cold so in the warmer months ice keeps it colder for longer. Okay. Bi says I do not do this because I'm not a bloody animal

who waters down their happy juice. But I like our old neighbour he worked in the wine industry and was like everyone in the

wine industry does it. You'd rather taint a wine with a bit of water than drink it the way it's not supposed to be drunk which is warm.

And wine would be watered down right? Like the way it's not supposed to be drunk, which is warm. And wine would be watered down, right? Like, because if it's perfectly 13%, don't tell me every batch is the perfect amount of alcohol, like that alcohol content. Chuck a bit of water in it. I never thought about that, yeah. Chuck a bit of water in it. Dan said, never unless it's a rosé and I haven't got one in the fridge and the freezer

is too god damn slow and sangria but that's different yeah true yeah I'm sangria sangria sangria

sangria is a little bit different more of a punch people that have ice in their freezers are bougie AFs is Chelsea people who have ice in their freezer

yeah you mean a built in ice machine no I think she just means ice oh okay she just forgets to refill I think she forgets to refill her trays. Yeah. Could we send Chelsea some trays?

Maybe it's a lack of trays. Yeah, or you go to Kmart and get those big... Oh, yeah, the big square ones. We've got those. Great. $2 each. You go through those quickly, though, when you're having a party.

Yeah, you totally go through. There's six and you're like, okay. You'd better spend a few thousand dollars getting an ice-making freezer and get it piped into your main so it's never short of water. It must be nice. We don't have that. It must be nice.

It must be. It's very nice. It is. Except it gets jammed. Oh, I curse. Oh, my God. It must be nice. Oh, my God.

My ice-maker's jammed. I call the help. They sort that out. I'm not putting my hand up there. I believe there's a blade involved. Danielle said, only in Roseanne. Don't knock it until you try it. Now, here she goes.

She's misread in the situation. I'm sure Hayley is freaking out that I'm watering down my wine. No. But you don't need to last that long. Danielle, I think you're accusing Hayley of something. Being fancier than I am. She's on side with you. And icy rosé in summer, whatever that is,

whenever that will happen, goes hard. People are thinking you're fancy when you're just trash. Sometimes I'm fancy, but more often than not, I'm not. Trash. More often trash. Bridget says, ice melts and dilutes the wine. Frozen grapes are the only way to go. Oh, frozen.

Not as cold. I don't think they're that cold. And they go a bit bleh when they start defrosting the wine. Yeah, they do, a bit sludgy. No, says Rachel, don't ruin the wine. Adam says, when you live in Brisbane, you need an ice in your white wine or it'll be the same temperature as your PISS.

Oh, okay, wow. Yeah, it does get very warm. I never did it until I visited South Africa earlier this year. Restaurants literally bring your wine with a whole bucket of ice

to put in the glass. So there's a bucket that it sits in and it makes you feel better because the nice melted warm, the nice melted ice hydrates you at the same time.

So, follow me for more health tips. Yes. Wow. Well, they say to hydrate while drinking, so it makes sense.

Just do it both at the same time. Anybody that said no, I assume they're opting out of frosées this summer. Well, they won't be given one. You won't be given one because that's just

ice mixed with rosé, isn't it? Yeah. It is. Yeah. Silly little pole. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Am I correct in you just said

before we went in there I wish I was a horny grandma? Yeah. Is that what I heard because I had my headphones on? No, I heard it. I wish I was a horny grandma was what I think you said.

Or I can't wait to be a horny grandma. You said I hope I'm a horny grandma. Yeah, when I get the fireman's calendar. You're all like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, you have a look. Keep the fanny flutters going. Now, the girl it's after seven.

The girls, Shannon and Carwin, shared with us this morning the sweater curse. We were pitching ideas for the show, what we're going to talk about today, and they came in hot with this. The sweater curse. I rolled my eyes and said, this is so bloody stupid.

I don't think we should do it. But they have control of the spreadsheet, and so somehow it's in. Now, what is the sweater curse? So it's for the crafty girls, and basically it's this long-held curse. This isn't a new thing, but basically if you crochet or knit your partner's sweater before you're married, your relationship's doomed. You will break up. Okay.

What's the thought process behind this? It's just a curse. Someone, I don't know, maybe it's a curse. So there's no psychology. Some sort of identifiable pattern where people were like, you do this and he freaks out because it's too much. Yeah, the gesture's too big and it pushes him away.

He's like, ooh, this is yuck. I'm going to break up with her. Yeah, there's lots of holes in this jumper because I can see through it. Potentially. I guess, man, crocheting for me, someone a jumper would take about 100 hours. So that's a lot of money. You crocheted my cat.

You've crocheted for all of us. Yeah, Major Mary Fluffington bloody loved his pink jumper. But I would never crochet something for my boyfriend, never make him a jumper. The sweater curse has its own Wikipedia page. It's a thing, I tell you. Oh my God. It does it.

The sweater curse or curse of the love sweater is a term used by knitters and crocheters, that's you, to describe the belief that if a knitter or crocheter gives a hand-knit sweater to a significant other, it would lead to the recipient breaking up with the knitter. The relationship will end before the sweater is even completed is another version of it. Oh, wow. So you just start like a couple of lines. Is that what you call it?

Lines? Yeah, go on. Okay. So it's purely anecdotal when you're asking for the psychological reasoning behind it. Well, no, it's real. Here's the proposed mechanisms of the curse. Okay. Unlucky timing.

Knitting a sweater takes a long time and the relation dies off of natural causes during its making. So it's just a relationship fading out over the course of, as you said, 100 hours of crocheting, which could take weeks and weeks and weeks, and you're not paying them enough attention because you're crocheting. Catalyst for analysing the relationship is another proposed mechanism of the curse. Giving or receiving such a significant gift, like a sweater, may cause either the giver or receiver to evaluate the relationship.

For example, the gift may seem too intimate, too domestic, or too binding to the significant other. That's what I thought. There we go. This is what I was talking about. And it can be seen as a signal that makes them realize that the relationship's not reciprocal, prompting them to end the relationship before it involves obligations.

Similarly, the reaction from the recipient of the sweater could show pre-existing issues in the relationship. Someone's put too much thought into this. Yeah, I think we're going too far. We're going too deep. No, but that's what I wanted, a sweater could show pre-existing issues in the relationship. If there's gifts that are met with ingratitude. I think we're going too far. We're going too deep. No, but that's what I wanted, because you said curse, but it's always, there's a reason behind it. It's called witchcraft form.

Yeah, it's just a witch. It's a witch's curse. Okay, but what if you bought your boyfriend a Hallenstein sweater? Would that be the sweater curse? Or a Barker's. Or a Barker's. I think it's just purely for crafting.

This is for the crafting community. Okay, so it's not just buying any sweater. Another reason is that you give them a hand knit sweater and then they don't want to wear it because they're scared they're going to get teased by their friends. For wearing a pink crocheted sweater that their missus made them. I will say

I did spend about 80 hours making Hayley a vest and have we seen her wear it? No, I know. It's just... It's summer. It's a bit wintery. No, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

I do love it. And are you going to wear it next winter? Are we breaking up? No, we're not breaking up. Don't curse our relationship. You also said there's a shoe curse.

Yeah. Is this the same thing? Yeah, it's a similar thing where if you've bought a pair of shoes for a partner, that relationship's gonna end. Why? Because they think it's too much of a gift? I don't know, it's just something that all the girlies have come together and

realised, oh yeah, I broke up with him like a month after I gave him a pair of shoes. And then they've all realised that this is something that we're all doing. I've bought Aaron so many pairs of shoes and we're still together. For now. Whoa! When's the wedding? Oh!

Wow. I didn't come to work for this shit. Yesterday, we had a big day's work at the house and lots of sanding around. Lots of renovations. Lots of renos and we were very dusty. Very dusty everywhere. And so we said let's have a shower, me and Aaron,

because the shower's finished and it's big and there's two shower heads in it so we can shower at the same time. Amazing. Beautiful way to connect at the same time. Amazing. Beautiful way to connect at the end of the day. Is the water pressure, though, half of what it would be if it was just one person in the shower? No, it's not because I got out first and it doesn't change. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, I know. Sam's mind, you've still got your water-saving nozzles in. You won't take them out. I know I won't take them out. Yeah, because don't worry about the plan today. No, no, no, because they said yesterday the dams were at 97% capacity and we've already had more rainfall than the average December. It's time to take your water saver nozzles out.

Also, we have been having luxurious showers, but to be fair, we've been showering every three to four days this year. Yeah, so you're in arrears. I'm in arrears. You're in water arrears. Thank you. Anyway, so we had this shower and it was nice and I got out first and I was drying myself and then Aaron got out

and I passed him a towel, drying ourselves, just fully nude in the comfort of a 13-year relationship. Nothing sexual, just incredibly comfortable. Yeah. I look down at my naked body. Yeah. And I see the most thick and long hair sprouting from my right nipple. From the nipple. Interesting.

Interesting situation you find yourself in the midst of. It is not subtle in any way. It is not directional or hidden. Is it like wiry? Like kind of curly? Dead straight. Oh, dead straight? Dead straight.

And it is like this long. An inch and a half. Yeah, like two to three centimetres long. And I was like, ah! What the? I cursed. Is that? And I looked out and it's like sticking out like this much.

And I've never, I mean, I've found the occasional hair around the nipple. I know that's very normal. I'm not trying to say that this is an abnormal thing, but the length of the thing, it's like it happened overnight. You've got asparagus here. What is that? What's that? Well, you know, asparagus, one day it's not there

and then the next day it's ready to pick. And if you leave it, it turns into a fern. Yeah, that's what it is. I think maybe you had a mystery asparagus. It's still there. But so you didn't pull it out? Well, I've dedicated, I've got two sets of tweezers and I've dedicated them both to the renovation.

You know, when you just need to get a little something out and Aaron's always like, oh, do you have a set of tweezers? And so I gave him one and then they went all blunt and then he's used the other one. So there was nothing. I was like, I dare not shave it. Right, you've got to buy tweezers today. It is so long. Like, it is

just, and it's dead straight. Well, could you just like pull it out like now and just hold it up to the camera? I'll try. I'll look away because'll try. I'll try. I love it. Do you want us? I'll shut my eyes.

I'll look away because I don't want to see any. I don't want to see movies. There's a big window behind you though, so. No, it's okay. Oh yeah, I don't want to look in the.

I need to just. Okay, I'm going to close my eyes. You tell us when it's okay to look. I don't know if I can get in on my dress. I feel like. There it is. If you give it a good yank though.

It should come out. It should come out if it's that big. Oh, I heard that. Do we have a tweeze? Does anyone have a tweeze? It's too low down to not get my nipple on camera. Fletch, you've got long.

Could you go under a blanket? Fletch has got good fingernails. Fletch has got good fingernails for plucking hair. By the way, producer Jared just looks like he wants to vomit. Look at him. Look at his face. I'm only covering my eyes out of respect. Yeah, because I don't want to see boobies.

I can't get it. It's too low down. I'm going to have to reach my hand in there. It's a whole take off. Can you reach your hand in? No, I can't. I can't get it in there. My mum just messaged me to say, your father's shaking his head.

So my dad's... This is normal, Dad. This is a natural thing. This is a natural, normal thing. It's just the length of it is abnormal. It's so long. I just think it would be... Could you go to the bathroom now and then yank it out

and then we'll measure it with a ruler. Yeah, I'll try. It's black. It's like a dark... It is weird when something on your body sneaks up on you. Yeah. And you're like, I'm wearing you every day, body. Where have you come from?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can see it. I'd show you, but you're bloody. No, no, it's okay. Can't handle it, can you? Anyway, look, for anyone else who just discovers a rogue here, please know you're not alone.

And, you know, maybe just leave it there. Maybe I'll leave it there and see how long it gets. Imagine if tomorrow it's twice as long. It's just like this super quick. Yeah. We wouldn't do a topic now, a phone-in topic, but we're all a little bit shy now because your parents are listening. We know your parents are listening. We know your parents are listening.

Look, my parents have never discovered me making love, ever. Right. No. In the throes of past life. As far as they are concerned, I'm a virgin. The reason we say this, the new Netflix, there's a Netflix show, which people are saying online has given the wildest sex scene of the year. Just the funniest and more out there

because, so people are saying I haven't seen Obliterated. Has anybody seen Obliterated? No. Launching new action comedy Obliterated. I don't know if it's a movie or a TV show. It's a series. So this happens in the penultimate episode of season one in Vegas.

They're saying that it's kind of a mix between The Hangover and movies like that. Yeah, right. Because I'm reading. It says, an elite special forces team thwarts a deadly threat to Las Vegas after a celebratory party. The team discovers that the bomb they deactivated was a fake. Now intoxicated, the team has to find the real bomb and save the world. That doesn't sound like The Hangover

at all. I guess because it's in Vegas. So people saying it's like a mix between The Hangover and American Pie. So it must just be lads, lads, lads. If you Google it, it sounds terrible. What has it got on Rotten Tomatoes? I can't imagine it's much. On IMD, it's got 6.4.

That's not... Audience Google reviews, that's 3.3 out of 5. Okay. If you Google it, all the headlines are like, the weirdest sex scene of 2023. So that's what they're saying is it's got the weirdest sex scene because in the middle of this scene, there's a camel. A camel walks in on them.

Because Vegas. Because it's Vegas. scene there's a camel. A camel walks in on them. Because Vegas. Because it's Vegas. Because there's all animals in Vegas and at any moment they can pop up. Yeah. Which I think is why there's like some references to The Hangover. Yes. With the tiger and stuff like that. Right. So is your question has your sex ever been interrupted

by a camel? Because I feel like this could be impossible. No. We've all been to the desert, you know? I wanted to ask what interrupted the lovemaking. Ah, I see. I see. I see. Don't look at me.

I've only ever been interrupted once, I believe. I mean, Rolly comes in all the time and it's Oh no, you've got to shut the door. You can't have any animals in the bedroom. No, I know. He gets, Rolly comes in all the time and it's... Oh no, you've got to shut the door. You can't have any animals in the bedroom. No, I know.

He gets kicked out straight away. Yeah. Only once. And I don't want to say it because I know my parents are listening. Yeah,

bad timing, isn't it? My mum just seemed pretty sure you and Ben were in it once. Yes, I was. My parents did. Your mum just called you out.

When I lived at home, we were opportunistic and my mum forgot her something after she'd left the house and they came back and she said, why is Ben in the shower? That's not the time we're talking about. Oh yes, it was dirty. He spilt mayonnaise on himself. It's embarrassing. I don't know, maybe the flatmates walked in.

Your parents. Who knows? Maybe a camel. Maybe a camel. Maybe a camel. I don't know. Maybe a camel. This is the question we want to ask you this morning.

Maybe an emergency. Yeah. Maybe a fire. You know, like the fire. Because especially if you're in an apartment building, you're at the whim and mercy of anyone having a burnt toast moment while you're in the middle of it,

and you've got to... Imagine being in the middle of it, and there's an earthquake. You'd be like, did we do that? Can I? Did we do that? Did you feel the earth move? I did.

4.9, I reckon. That's so good. Oh, my gosh. Boy, oh, boy. That was probably you. Well. You were so good. Oh my gosh. Boy oh boy. That was probably you. Well, we want to take some calls this morning. 0800 Dials at Amazon number. You can text her as well. 9696. You want to know what interrupted the sexy

lovemaking times? Well, Netflix, the show Obliterated is said to have given us the year's most craziest scene. Lovemaking scene year's most craziest scene. Lovemaking scene. Random lovemaking scene. We're a camel.

There's a camel there. The camel's not involved. It just goes into the... It interrupts. It interrupts. Actually, good to clarify that the camel's not involved. Not involved. We wanted to know what has interrupted your lovemaking. Because it's quite embarrassing, isn't it?

It's a human thing, but it's between two or three or four, however many people are there, and not anyone to walk on it. Yeah, Connor, what interrupted you? So, I was in Ireland with an

Irish girl, and we were having some fun times in a forest. okay oh what about the uh like barbican so leprechaun what about the leprechaun did a leprechaun interrupt uh close to it um we i all of a sudden we heard a we were in kind of longest grass off a trail and heard a dog bark and turned around and there was a dog right behind us. You mean right behind you?

Was he going to, you know, dogs love to jump on for a hump. He was interested. He was like, I've never seen a dog like that before. Yeah. Where do you put your tail? Wait, did the dog have a human adjacent? Yes. So, because we were in long grass,

I popped my head up and made eye contact with an old Irish bloke. Oh, no. He just kind of went, oh, called his dog back and said, sorry about him. He shouldn't apologise. You're the one, bloody, making love in a long field of grass in a public area.

I would have stuck my head out because I'd think it was a pheasant hunt. Oh, yeah. With the dogs running through. It's one of those sniffy, barky dogs. Well, that's why I get the pheasants up and then bang, bang, bang. Yeah, that's why when I make love in a forest, I wear a high-vis jacket. Yeah, you do. You always have that orange camo.

Yeah. I don't want to be confused for a red towel. Thank you. Some messages in. My 10 year old walked in on us to tell us to shut up because we were making too much noise. She also said it looked like a hippo sitting on a hot dog and that it didn't look comfortable at all.

Shut up. Shut up, a hippo. Hippo on a hot dog. We would like to know what interrupted your lovemaking, be it a human, an animal, an event, whatever, because there's a Netflix show where a camel interrupts the crazy lovemaking session. Vegas, Vegas. In Vegas.

People are calling it the wildest scene of the year. Yes, indeed. Where do we start? Somebody messaged in saying they watched that show, they wouldn't worry about it. Yeah, I get that vibe. It's just an easy, watchable show that no one's, it's not winning any awards, let's put it that way.

Now, someone did text in saying, I wasn't making love, but I was taking a poo in the middle of the desert in Mongolia. Now, that's not the question. That's how, join us next week for the phone and tell what interrupted your poo in the desert of Mongolia. That just feels a little niche-born. I don't know if we'll get many calls for that.

Well, it's niche, but we've already got a call lined up. Do you think people would be amazed if they're not listening right now, but next week we say just out of the blue, if you've ever been in the desert of Mongolia. I'm doing a poo. And then someone calls up, people will be like, wow. Wow, that's so specific. So many people listen.

Oh, my God. The listenership must be so broad. Emma, what interrupted your lovemaking? Morning, guys. Good morning. Good suits. Super good. Yeah, we went to a very prestigious event in Christchurch

and a lot of beautiful people money around. Do you have a cup, Jay? And halfway through the night, after a few proseccoes, I sort of wink, wink, nudge, nudge to my husband, and I saw these big floor-to-ceiling drapes,

velvet drapes lining all the walls. Lovely. And I saw a gap in it, and so we headed through there, and standing up, you know, hitched up the old way down. Wait, wait, wait! We just got a little scoose old way down. Wait, wait, wait. Behind the curtain.

We've got a loose goose on our hand. Hong, hong. Oh my God. You're just like, there's a curtain let's shag behind it. Yeah, why not? Yeah. I love this.

So we were, you know, going for it and the next thing, a door swung open next to us and a waiter was holding open and a line of waitresses and waiters passed us holding food.

Yeah. Also, producer Jared has messaged us in the chat what event you were at and we're not going to say that. You were very naughty. Let's just say it was a prestigious event. Oh my god!

You're so naughty! So they filed past you and saw everything. It was for a good cause, guys. It was for a good cause guys It was for a good cause Say no more Say no more What you were doing Did not add any

Extra to the coffin Oh my god So they walked past you And saw everything Or were you like Hidden Oh absolutely Yeah yeah yeah

Absolutely But nothing's gonna stop me I think we just Shuffled down further And carried on She's got a high sex drive She's silly goose of the week. She has done so well. We love us.

She's silly goose of the week. Have we done Caller of the Week? Yes, we did. We did it on Monday. Do another one. Do it again. Do another one. We'll give you our Caller of the Week $50 McCafe voucher.

Thanks to our mates at McCafe. See, I told you it was worth it. Yeah, hell yeah. Amazing. All right, Anonymous. If anyone's trying to work out the exact value to put on having a line of waitstaff see you make love, it's $50.

It's $50. Anonymous, what interrupted your lovemaking? It was quite a few years ago now. I was 21. Your friend was 19, and I was a volunteer firefighter at the time, and I won't say the brigade I was in. It's hot.

It's already hot. Wait, hang on. Hayley's got the calendar and I won't say the brigade I was in. It's hot. It's already hot. Wait, hang on. Hayley's got the calendar here. I literally have the Kiwi firefighters calendar. Yeah, which month are you? I just want to say... I would always probably be Mr. December. Okay, let me look at December

so we can get a picture of the story before you carry on. I'm not mad. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm not mad. That is a rig. How do any of these guys have time to fight fires? They're all ripped. They must have been in the gym the whole time.

Yeah. They're in their packs from six to eight. Okay, so you're a volunteer firefighter and what happened? So yeah, it's a day night, about midnight, girlfriend and I going hammer and tong, doggy style. We don't see that. We don't see that. We don't.

At least you see it. Yeah, look, okay. And then what? There was a call out? Yeah, yeah. Oh, we don't say that. We don't say that. Yeah, look, okay. And then what? There was a call out. Yeah, yeah. So in the volunteer station, all the lights turn on when a call comes in. And so very hastily, you've got a couple of minutes to... Wait, you were at the station?

Yeah, inside the fire truck. Oh, that's hot. It's literally so hot. You've got Hayley. Do you want to come back to the fire station? Yeahley. Do you want to come back to the fire station? Yeah, absolutely. I want to come back to the fire station. And then what?

You got busted by everybody turning up. No, no. So we literally had like a couple of minutes before everyone started turning up. I've never been dressed so fast in my life. I was panicking like crazy. She just thought it was funny. I didn't. And we had literally seconds when the first person opened up the front door

and I just quickly just shoved her in the storeroom. Shoved her in a scholar? Oh, my God. As a gentleman of nothing else. A gentleman and a scholar. Wait, did you have to go? Were you on call? Did you have to go out on the fire truck?

Oh, you're always a volunteer. You're always on call. God, you'd be pimped, huh? You'd be pimped. You would be pimped. Oh, my God. What a wild. Let's get this fire put out. You're always on call. God, he'll be pent up. You'll be pent. You will be pent up. Oh, my God. What a wild... Let's get this fire put out!

I'm on the hose! Amazing. Thank you, Anonymous. Apologies. Wait, no, you didn't end it. Oh, what's the end of it? You can tell he wasn't finished. No, obviously, at the end,

she just had to stay hidden in the closet while we were out at the call. All the guys waiting for the session at the time had no idea she was hiding in the closet. Oh, my God, she's there the whole time. All the guys waiting at the station at the time had no idea she was hiding in the closet. Oh my gosh, she's there the whole time. Oh my god, the poor girl. I would have been disciplined hard if they found out what was going on.

Yeah, yeah. Hence, calling anonymously, Mr. December. I love that, thank you. I will say not the actual Mr. December in the Fireman's calendar. I don't want to get anyone in trouble. No, no, I just wanted to sort of have a visual. Yeah. Vaughan, some messages to finish up. Decided to take the opportunity at

Ferry Falls in the Waitakere Ranges. Thought we were in the bush. It turns out we were on a track and a school group came along that track from the opposite direction. Wow. Guess that becomes a biology lesson. Yeah. You know, it's a normal we've got to learn about it. I will simply not

read your text message. 917. I'll read it to my friends here on the show afterwards. Okay. Wait, I'm trying to find it. I'm trying to find it. Somebody else said that they were interrupted taking a poo by a bunch of lions in the Kalahari Desert

if we're willing to open next week's phone or two. Just desert, not particularly the Mongolian one. Okay, so when were you caught in the desert? In the desert, yeah. Okay, yeah. Well, we've got already two calls. That's a good one. Somebody said, I remember the Mongolian one. Okay, so when were you caught in the desert? In the desert, yeah. Okay, yeah. Well, we've got already two calls. That's a good one. Somebody said, I remember the day I was interrupted.

It was August 31st, 1997. The day we lost Princess Diana. And over enthusiastic, flatmate, didn't even knock, just booted the door open and said, Princess Diana's passed away. I was in mid. You won't see that bit on The Crown. No.

I've got to say, there are so many parents being interrupted by their young children, you know, like toddlers and stuff. No, you have to be available to your kids. So don't have them? Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. I can't remember where we talked about this but I was in Rotorua

a couple of weekends ago and I drove home and I stopped off in Tiro where they have a gorgeous homeware store Oh do they? They've got some very nice stores in Tiro Tiro, it's a beautiful, beautiful.

Because you're going for the French barn aesthetic with your place at the moment, aren't you? Well, you must go to Notting Hill Interiors in T-Row. Call into T-Row. T-Row. It's a real mum cafe stop, isn't it? Oh, dude, it's mum bait. It is. I know.

And that's where they've got the corrugated iron dog. The corrugated iron dog. And they've got a water fountain on the main street and you can fill up your water bottle and it comes from

the same spring that does like the H2Go's and the pumps and stuff. What is from a manky? It's from a tap. Oh, you mean it's a big fountain or it's a water fountain? It's not a vat.

You don't go in. I imagine it's like an old school fountain that kids can swim in. No, no, no. Like a drinking fountain. Like a turn on tap and fill up your bowl. Fuel. Okay. Anyway, when I was in this interiors store I bought a couple of things. One of which was

a really bougie packet of Christmas napkins. I've never thrown Christmas dinner. And this year I am. This is why you're getting a tree for the first time. This is why we're getting a tree. This is why I've been planning my table setting. This is why I've getting a tree for the first time. This is why we're getting a tree. This is why I've been planning my table setting. This is why I've been looking up legs of ham. This is someone I've always wanted to be

and now it's happening and I'm excited. And so I was in this homeware store and I saw my mum always has a Christmas napkin. Now I've got fabric napkins. Right, serviettes. But I wanted extra serviettes. These are just posh serviettes. Serviettes, my mum's always had them.

And I was like, oh my God, it's my turn to buy. So I bought a packet of Christmas serviettes. They're golden green and they've got some holly sort of shapes on them and they're really nice. Lovely. Are they? It described to me the tissue.

The tissue is... Is it like a tissue or is it like a handy towel? Neither. Neither. Like a thick tissue. Is it like a tissue or is it like a handy towel? Neither Like a thick tissue Okay, like a thick tissue But not a textured absorbent In this Cosy Lives Cry I was just thinking this Christmas

I'd just colour in with felt handy towels That's actually really smart Just get some sharpies Just do some little candy canes on the corner. Candy canes. Oh, that's gorgeous. Fold them into triangles. Yeah.

Saving money here. That's good. Well, this packet was $15. I mean, for a packet of bloody serviettes. But how many serviettes did you get? You need to calm down. I don't know, like a slack, like just a small, normal, like not, you know, not a bulk caterer. I know, I went all out.

You need to calm down for Christmas. I know, I went all out. T-Row, T-Row, I saw you coming. I know, not a bulk caterer. I know, I went all out. You need to calm down for Christmas. I know, I went all out. T-Row, T-Row, I saw you coming. I know, I was the target audience. Anyway, so I bought these and I put, in our, above our fridge is a little cabinet where we have a few sort of entertaining sort of catering things. That's where I put my jars.

That's where we've got booze, but the shelf above is this sort of odd serving thing. So I put them in there and I was like, ready for Christmas. I get home yesterday and I noted when I went to work and I went for a wee-wees that there was no toilet paper. Oh, my gosh. Did you just drip dry? I looked in there.

Yeah, I did a drip dry. Absorbed it right up into my undies. Because, like, guys can kind of shake. Yuck. Because guys can shake. Yeah, guys can kind of shake. Yuck. Yeah, that's a little bit yuck. Because guys can shake. Yeah, well, girls can shake. Yes.

Be a little bit more body involved. Yeah. And I was like, oh God, you know, there's probably some handy towels around that Aaron can use for his morning ablutions. Oh my God. I get home yesterday. The packet of expensive Christmas napkins

is open on the bench. Yeah. And I knew exactly what has happened. And I said, Eric! I said, did you wipe your ass with my Christmas napkins? He said, yes, I did. I said, Aaron, there was only one packet of those and they were very expensive.

And he said, do you know what? I could tell. Wow, okay. He'd opened them. He'd just gone and gone to look before he went for his morning sesh I think I asked The wrong member

Of the Sprout household How this tissue is Yeah You need to ask Aaron The quality of the texture Because the packet was sealed And now it's opened And he had a luxurious

Christmas shirt yesterday And so who's gonna miss out How many did they use Two napkins Three Yeah I actually didn't count I didn't want to know. Two minimum, I would say.

So, yeah, it looks like Dad's going without. Dad? Well, actually, Aaron should go without. Dad's always going. You must know, but Dad's always going without. When the first person is to go without, it's always Dad. Aaron should go without. Why am I paying for this? I sourced the napkins from Tito.

I went all the way. Is it not too late? Could we get on the blower to these people and get another two napkins? Make a credit card payment online and get They do ship. Just do two napkins. Now who is this? What time do they open? Notting Hill Interiors in Tito.

I'm excited now. You've got me. What if they've sold out? Would you accept another napkin that's a different kind? They don't open till 9am. I repeat, 9am. Okay, if someone is passing through Tito today on their way to Auckland, I need, it's a golden green.

A Christmas napkin. Nice Christmas napkin. I just think you two go without. I don't think Craig should miss out because you're fiance. I hope that the colour leaked off on his... Whose fault is it that there was no toilet paper in the house? He will have a green

ring. Oh my god. They're nice, aren't they? They're nice. They look like some bougie wallpaper. No, there wasn't any toilet paper and that had slipped my mind. And then I literally knew that we had groceries arriving. There's toilet paper now. Right. And I got plenty. What do you do if you don't any toilet paper and that had slipped my mind. And then I literally knew that we had groceries arriving. There's toilet paper now. Right.

And I got plenty. It just, what do you do? What if you don't have toilet paper? Napkins. Like napkins or handy towels or wet wipes. Handy towels? Jeez. What are you using?

The shower? Oh, like a big bidet. Yeah. Just jump out. No, but if you're leaving, what if you're leaving for work and it's bloody 4.50 in the morning but you're jumping in the shower?

Work's not going anywhere. It'll still be here at 10 past 6 when I arrive. You're talking about someone that's always late to work. This is true. He doesn't care. Well, I hope Aaron enjoyed his luxurious festive poop yesterday. Well, it is the season. It is the season. It is the season.

We're toying with an idea and Fletch is upset by it. We're toying with the idea of, the producer just asked, who told you to sit there? As in, when did the seats get allocated? Every time. Well, I sit here

because this is the lady seat. The lady seat. And you just sit there because you've always sat there. No, I used to sit over there when the desk faced the other way. He used to sit in this seat. Yeah. And you used to sit over there. I want to move.

You won't like it over here. Why not? Because you probably feed off the producers when you're doing. I do. I look at them all the time. Your showmanship stuff. When you're doing your show ponies. Do my fancy footworks.

Yeah, and they're probably smiling and laughing and your feet often. You know I love an audience. Yeah, yeah. Well, you get no feedback. That's why I try to give you a lot, but it's harder these days. Yeah.

Okay, anyway. I think so. Next week, you sit in my seat. I'll sit in Fletcher's seat. Fletcher's in your seat. I'll push the buttons. No, you will not sit in this seat. It's our last week next week. seat. Fletcher's seat. You'll sit. I'll push the buttons. No, you will not sit in the seat. It's our last week next week.

Let's get spicy. No, we're not having Vaughn push the buttons. It'll be a bloody disaster. Give him a day. We'll see. You can have one day on the buttons. You can have 10 minutes at 10 minutes to 6. No, 10 minutes to 6.

We're not even on air. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. Anyway, there is a new challenge That is taking social media by storm It's called Name me a woman Judy Dench I was going to say the Queen

Queen Elizabeth II Or do they have to be living Brianna Lola Bunny Wow feminists in front of me Daisy Duck Not really a female woman? Lola Bunny. Beyonce. Wow. Feminists in front of me, aren't they? Daisy Duck. Not really a female.

More of a female. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, she, well, I'm assuming actually got me. Some people are using it as a test, right? So they're like taking videos of themselves and uploading them and they're like with their boyfriend, they're like, hey, babe, name me a woman. And most of them and they're like, with their boyfriend, they're like, hey babe, name me a woman.

And most of the time they're either saying Hillary Clinton, Martha Stewart, or like a hottie, like Sofia Vergara is one I just saw. I'm not a fool, I'm not stepping on that train. And then the woman is like, you should have said Hayley Sproul, essentially. But also, some of the men are just panicking and they're saying the most rogue things.

Because if someone just came up to you and just went like, name me a woman, you'd be like, Christina Milano. Christina Milan. Christina Milano. Dip it low, pick it up slow. Yeah. And you say the most rogue things. Yeah.

So you shouldn't say a hot chick. No. You shouldn't say a hot female because you should say your girlfriend's name. You should say your girlfriend's name. But most people either say a hot woman or a public political figure. The most popular so far have been Queen Elizabeth. You had that. What did you give me?

Rihanna. No, Judi Dench. Judi Dench. Not a popular choice. Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris, Helen Keller, and Queen Elizabeth. Helen Keller. Helen Keller.

That could be a New Zealand one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Could be. There's one video where a chick says, hey, Ryan, give me one woman's name, and then her boyfriend just goes, Ashley.

And then... And who is Ashley? The girl's like, Ashley who? He's like, I don't know, I just said a female's name and she's like, who's Ashley? Oh, so now he's in trouble. So Ashley is at the forefront of his mind instead of

her own name. Dudes are just walking blind. Walking blindly into gin traps. Another video said, hey red flag, when you play this game with your boyfriend and he says his mum's name. That's not bad. That's not a bad thing, is it?

It's like, name a woman? Yeah, that's kind of a mummy's boy thing to do. You're a mummy's boy. It's a mummy's boy. Gosh, you can't bloody win. Anyway. Bad relationship with your mum, red flag. Great relationship with your mum, red flag.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. That got a bit spicy. I like that. Today's fact of the day is world's most expensive week, as you'll both no doubt remember. Are you going to do world's most expensive jumper and bring up your wife's Anine Bing?

No. They would be more expensive than Anine Bing. I don't know if there is. I don't know if there is. It's up there. Is it? No, it would be like some Balenciaga burnt out hoodie with holes. Well, no.

Today is the world's most expensive nail polish. Ooh. Yes. This nail polish sells for $267,000 US dollars. It's got to have gold. In New Zealand dollars, $435,737. It's got to have gold in it. It doesn't.

Oh. It has diamonds in it. It has 267 carats of black diamonds. How do you paint it on? It'll be clunky. It does have a texture to it. It's gritty, but it does just get painted on. Do you have a photo of it?

Yep. Do they buff it up after you apply it so it makes the diamond shine? No, I don't think so. The diamonds just shine through. Oh, they just... So this was sold in Southridges in London. so it makes the diamonds shine? No, I don't think so. The diamonds just shine through. It's all part of the... Oh. So this was sold in Salfridges in London. It's called Azature Nail Polish.

Azature Black Diamond Nail Polish. Do you think they have this at Professionnel next time I go? Yes, if you ask. Definitely. So there's the black diamonds within the nail polish. There's the glittery... It includes a handmade platinum sterling cap bottle covered with 60 handset black diamonds.

So when the nail polish is gone, you've still got something to remember the diamonds by. This straight up just looks like black nail polish with glitter on top. Yeah. Like I've had these nails before for $50. But you haven't, though, have you? Yeah, I know, but you could say there's diamonds in it, but you can't tell the difference.

No, you can't. It just looks like black glitter nails. It's ridiculous, and I think that's what we're learning a lot about this week on The World's Most Dispensable. Yeah. Work here, effect of the day. People just have way too much money. It's late-stage capitalism.

We've got to eat the rich. Oh, yeah. Eat the rich The very rich Let's start with the very rich And see if we're still hungry After that Are they the entree

The very rich And start working our way down Who gets their like mansions Can I have a mansion After we eat them Well that's the problem You move into the mansion You might be the next one

On the menu Oh yeah okay Yeah Didn't think about that Yeah you can literally buy it For a quarter of a million dollars US. That is crazy. Hayley, we're talking about eating them now. We're not talking about the nails.

Okay. We've moved on. Who are we going to eat? You take the nails off before you ate them though. Oh, absolutely. But I cut them off whole so I could stick them on my nails. Yes. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, what is that called? Like a stick on nail. Yeah. Like an acrylic. Like an acrylic. Yeah. Who's like Melinda Gates? I could chop off her nails and stick them to mine.

While she's insanely rich, I don't think she'd do this. No, she's a lot more humanitarian. Yeah, she's got some humanitarian stuff with the older. Okay, wait. So we're not eating Melinda Gates. What we need to do is establish the eating committee. Okay. And it's a committee of people who decide which of the rich will eat

Like the really obnoxious rich people Like should we eat Elon Musk? Yeah First, I think we should Yeah, he hasn't done anything good I was hoping he'd do more good Did you see that guy who spent $95 million on his wedding? What?

Now he's wanted because apparently he shot a gun in the direction of police earlier this year. Oh, okay. Now, he'd be on the edible list, I think. Yeah. Bezos has terrible working conditions, doesn't he? He does, yeah. Amazon. We could eat Bezos.

Yeah. That looks stringy. He just does look a bit... Stringy, aye? You're hoping a billionaire you'd be fatter. How would you cook this celebrity? Well, this is what we want to make. How would you eat this rich person? Nobody is picking up that TV show, How Would You Cook the Celebrity? Well, this is what we want to make. This is How Would You Eat this Rich Person.

Nobody is picking up that TV show idea yet, are they? Which is really weird. I thought, how would you cook the celebrity? Nigella Lawson. How would I cook Nigella? She's pudding. Oh, she's pudding? I'm just immediately think of chocolate.

You're baking her into a sponge. I hadn't even considered the sweet options. Okay, this has gone a little bit... It's twisted, eh? It's gone a bit twisted. It's't even considered the sweet options. Okay, this has gone a little bit. It's twisted, eh? It's gone a bit twisted. It's twisted, but the moment you say a celebrity, we can almost all agree on how you'd eat them. John C. Reilly.

John C. Reilly. Barbecued. Barbecued. He's a barbecued with sauce. A lot of sauce. Rotisserie. A lot of sauce. Yeah, like a rotisserie, but you'd have to baste him the whole time.

Yeah, you'd need to baste him, but you'd also need to take the hair off first. He strikes me as a hairy individual. Yeah, he's a sad situation. Good game. TVNZ, it's ripe for the picking. Great game, yeah. It's yours if you want it.

The best part is you get the celebrity on at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And get their thoughts on how we thought we'd prepare them. I'm just saying, it's a sitter. I don't think they'd sign up for just saying. It's a sitter. I don't think they'd sign up for that either. It's a sitter. Today's fact of the day is the world's most expensive nail polish costs over a quarter of a million US dollars for a little wee bottle.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. The NZ Herald have released a guide to make family Christmas less stressful. Is it don't invite your drunk auntie or drunk relative? You need to invite us. We're asking, we're going to go. Oh my God, you are the drunk auntie. Well, because we have two Christmases.

We have one, we do Aaron's family one year, my family the next year, but now we're doing both this year. Right. And I wouldn't say they're stressful. Aaron's one is louder because there's just more of us.

Yeah. We're 12 and then kids. Yeah. So there's 12 adults and then one, two, three, four, like five-ish kids. And then sometimes, you know, so it's just like the amount of them is stressful, but there's no personality clashes.

And then in my family, it's not stressful at all. We're just booze and listen to music. Your family Christmases are always all good too, eh? Yeah. But you hear of families and there are the clashes, the people that don't get along. Especially when it's not just immediate family, when it's like your aunties and whatnot.

Let's not forget when my auntie called us heathens and then hit my mum. So here's a guy, rogue. Here's a guy. You usually dropped her. Me? I was a teenager at the time. Drop that bitch.

No one lays hands on your mother. So, Harold says have accurate expectations. Like, if you know the person that you're going to clash with is there, don't expect it to be going swimmingly. You need to go in sort of knowing this is what I'm expecting. So, you're not taking off. Yeah, have a couple of bottles of Prosecco at the ready. No.

At least. Oh, that could just. Yeah, pour alcohol on it isn't in the list. Yeah. No, it's add alcohol to the fire. Yeah. It's a really good list. Trying to change people is likely going to be a futile exercise.

So don't go in being like, I'm going to try to get my whole family to vote. The Greens. Yeah. You know, whatever. I'm going to change my get my whole family to vote the Greens. You know, whatever. I'm going to change my family's mind on vaccination. Yeah, exactly. And you're just remembering that you're all there because you're family and you love each other.

Anyway, I want to know, with Christmas a mere 19 days away and some people having early Christmases, yours this weekend, we're doing ours on the 20th and then the 25th. What are you dreading this Christmas? I know we talk about all the festive, fun stuff, Christmas trees and gift giving, but... Is there a family clash? Is there a relative that you always butt heads with?

Are you 38 and you don't have a baby? Is it the drive? Is dad's new partner there? Oh, yeah. Oh, mum's new partner. I'm not calling you mum. You're not my real mum. You're not my real mum.

Or what about you just dread going home because you know you're going to be hit with 18 different IT issues. Yeah, or maybe you're a vegan and you know you're going to be sitting there the whole time with people being like, you can have a bit of chicken. Get a bit of chicken in your love. You look like you need some iron.

Yeah. Where do you get your protein? 0800 DALS at Amazon number. Give us a call now. I'll text you. Those are all very good questions, by the way. Yeah. And I thank you for asking them.

From a meat eater over there. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's. We need to stop talking about the joys of Christmas and start talking about the utter miseries of Christmas. We want to know what you were dreading about Christmas this year. Yeah, the Herald put out an article yesterday.

Bit of a survival guide. Yeah, because for a lot of people, they dread certain aspects of Christmas. Yes. Going home and whatever it is. And so many messages in. Yeah. We were thinking that might err on the quirkier, funnier side of things.

Yeah. But some very sad moments. It's not always a happy time, is it? It's not. And someone sums it up saying, I lost my dad suddenly in April. It'll be the first Christmas of my life without him. I finally understand why Christmas isn't always happy

for everybody dreading it. Yeah. Yeah. And somebody else said, my mother, it's the first Christmas without mum. She passed away three months ago. And I think it's just going to be the day, like we're already kind of worried about it, but I think the day is going to be really hard. Yeah.

So really feeling for everybody. Shane, what are you dreading about Christmas? I feel pretty stupid after those super... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lighten it. We like the good and the bad. We like the good and the bad. Lighten it, Shane.

How sad is it when you just need to pop out for like bread and milk and it takes an hour to find a car park? Oh, yeah. Like, come on. Why is everyone freaking out? I know. You feel like you're... Yeah, but your mum's still alive, bitch,

so just... I'm messing. I kid, I kid. I kid with you. The thing is, I always feel like I'm super prepared, right? And then the night before,

it's like 9pm and you're like, oh my God, we don't have this key thing. Yeah. And then you're like one of those people at the supermarket and in your head, you're like one of those people at the supermarket

and in your head you're like, I'm not this person. I was previous. You are that person. You are. Thank you so much, Shane. Good luck out there.

Tim, what are you dreading this Christmas? My partners are vegan and my family's a big meat eating. Sounds like you come from a meat eating family.

I'm actually a lot of meat. He was you come from a meat-eating family. Oh, actually. A lot of meat. He was fed up with a lot of meat. And so do your family know that your partner's a vegan? Are you going to spring this on them? Okay. How did it go down when you told them? Not that well.

Well, we went out and we've got a barbecue that we've got to use for her, non-meat stuff and our meat stuff. Oh, wait, so she won't even read. This is already the most understanding family in the history of understanding. Put her shit in a pan, you know what I mean? Yeah, cook it inside a stew, boil it. No, but the pastel sausages can't touch where meat's been before. Yeah, wow.

Wow, that's nice that your family's getting a whole different barbecue. And a bowl of corn kernels, I guess. Yeah, a bit of corn and potatoes, I guess. This partner of yours better be the one, eh? If your family's making all this effort. You just get the hot thing and you give it a scrub with the thing and all the meat juice is gone. This is silly.

That's absolutely ridiculous. No, not allowed to do that. Really strict vegan. Tim, it's all right to break up with someone this close to Christmas. No, it allowed to do that Really strict vegan Tim, it's alright to break up with someone this close to Christmas No, it's not a boy Totally is, totally is Tim, you're free You're absconding of your sins

Tim, thanks for sharing We want to know what you're not What you're dreading this Christmas Some of these are unreadable I, this is what I've been Kind of pondering Somebody said I'm really dreading the end of the little kids era. I have a 14-year-old and a 16-year-old,

so the magic of Christmas has gone a little bit. No, but stick in there for it because in a couple of years you're going to have the best Christmases where you just get booze and listen to music and talk about, oh, that cat that died. It's fun. It's good fun. Trust me.

It gets fun again. It gets fun again. Oh, what's come through through Some of these are brutal Did you read the top tips Yeah It can't be read on here Yeah Oh boy and you can

Okay I'm dreading it Wait no Is it a spy Is it Carwin is saying no Give me a read Give me a read It's so funny

It's very funny It's an inside joke Oh it's gone I know this is I'm thinking These two That's not true It's very funny. It's an inside joke. Oh, it's gone. That's not true. It's not true, but I wasn't expecting it. It made me laugh. Thank you very much, 493.

You are so, so naughty. My mother-in-law invites herself and her partner over for Christmas Day lunch and insists on bringing a Bort Pavlova, even though me and the kids hate Bort Pavlova. It's very eggy. She's negative, opinionated and tells me everything I'm doing is wrong when I cook the Christmas lunch and tells me how it does she does it so much better. She also drinks

my wine. It sounds like you need to get out of your house so she turns up and you're not there. Jenny, what are you dreading this Christmas? So every year my father-in-law insists on buying the ham because he's the best ham picker in the family. Right, yep. So he goes out, he picks the ham,

and it's usually beautiful and we get it. And then every year he complains that he's the one that has to pick the ham, he's the one that gets the ham in, and that everyone's eating all his ham. Oh, but he insists on buying it and picking it. And then everyone eats it because he's done such a great job picking it and cooking it.

And then he's got a problem with that. It's a miserable old prick. There's no ham left. Why not win with these guys? We all know one or two of them. There's no winning with them. You just ignore them. Or like really get on their side. Be like, I got hardly any of that either.

You should really throw a spanner in the works this year, Jenny, and just bring your own ham. You should, Ashley. Has anyone ever done that, Jenny? Has anyone ever bought their own ham? Well, no, because the ham's always pegged.

No. No. Bring your own ham. And you say, Colin, every Christmas you say the ham's gone. Well, not this year. There's so much ham. Yeah, well, you have to get some ham, shaved ham in as well.

Oh, my God, you should get shaved ham. Just buy tons of shaved ham and be like, this is actually the ham everyone likes better. And then he'll be like, how dare you? And then at the end, when all the shaved ham's gone and he's a his hams left, be like, now what, Colin? You just got Alfred. Yeah, this is great. This could be-

You know, next week we should just solve people's Christmas problems. Yeah. On the last week of the show, we'll run this up. This is a Christmas problem and we solve it. I almost want to buy you a Christmas ham, Jenny, just to see what happens. I do too. And you should make it so bad as well. Get a really bad one.

One that's got lots of fat on it. Yeah, and bake it for like 20 minutes Oh so good I love this Thank you Jenny Ask the messages in I'm dreading the Christmas show That my six year old is planning

On putting on for everybody On Christmas day She's tone deaf And her made up songs Go on forever And to make matters worse Word is that Santa Might be bringing her a microphone

That she's asked for So she can really be louder. Was that you every Christmas doing a show for the family? Yeah, they loved it. They lapped it up and they knew I had a bright future as an entertainer. Did they? Yeah, they loved it.

I wanted to reiterate her made-up songs go on forever. And she's tone deaf, which you are not. No, you're not. You're not. So my concerts tone deaf. You're not. So my concerts were better than her concerts. Yeah. Wait, are you trying to one-up? Not that it's a competition with a child.

Are you trying to one-up a six-year-old? Well, I'm just saying if I was to go head-to-head, I would win. Nothing says Christmas like auntie without kids trying to one-up the kids. Yeah. That's good stuff. You think that's good. What about this? this. Mum! And I don't want

to let for Christmas. Dreading Christmas day with all of my extended family because of a very recent breakup after a long

overseas trip. All of my family thought we were going to get engaged so that's going to be the talk of the town. Just tell mum or one person

in the family, I don't want to talk about it. Tell everybody. You tell everybody. Can you take this off my plate please one person in the family, I don't want to talk about it. Tell everybody. You tell everybody. Can you take this off my plate, please? Yeah, just say, I don't want to talk about it, and then that'll be done.

I'm dreading my mother-in-law's disapproving looks and judgments on her present from us. It happens every year. What? Disappointed at the presents? Yeah. God, get a grip. I have shoulder surgery next Friday.

I'll be in a sling for six weeks. I'm going to be watching people enjoy themselves while I'm in pain Aww But what did you do? Were you being silly? Were you being a ghost? Do you need the silly goose of the week award? We should have a silly goose of the week We should do silly goose of the week

And what do they win? A goose, an actual goose And they can choose whether or not they win a pet goose And we'll just go grab one from Western Springs Or a goose to eat Good go grab one from Western Springs or a goose to eat. Good luck grabbing one from Western Springs. Those things are vicious.

We'll send them some pate. I feel like we'll get Jared to go get the goose. I've got a goose net. That feels like a Jared job. I would love to try to hunt a goose. Geese would take me out. I'll use you as bait.

He's goose height. Whoa. Shannon! out. I'll use you as bait. He's goose height. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Shannon! Is that the podcast done? Because I'm blasting for a poos. Basting for a poos.

Jesus. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.