ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th December 2024

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Kmart Blanket Uber Breakdown for NZ Toxic Women traits at Christmas Top 6 Dinner Locations NZ's Top Spotify Stats Final Rankings water vessels Pitch a friend dating Have you got big bits? New dating show for the girlies What scandalous thing happened at the Xmas party? Fact of the Day Vaughan Christmas Tree Shopping SLP - Do relationship breaks work?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things Are Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley on ZM. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning.

Excuse me. Welcome to the show. He started the show quite upset. He started the show really upset. I was like 10 minutes late to work and it's thrown my entire morning. I was late today as well because I picked up Vaughan. Oh, is that why Vaughan was early? That's why Vaughan was early.

And that's why I was late. My whole morning has been thrown. I gave Vaughan a bit of Hayley time and took a bit of Vaughan was early? That's why Vaughan was early. And that's why I was late. My whole morning has been thrown. I gave Vaughan a bit of Hayley time and took a bit of Vaughan time, and I was late, he was early. Right, we met in the middle. Okay, well, happy Friday. Happy Fri-yay. A lot of people.

Happy Fri-yay, Vaughan. He doesn't like that when you say that. Happy Fri-yay. Actually, you're forcing your celebration on me, and that's not done in 20 minutes. But I'm saying yay because it's Friday so I've just changed it. Two those that celebrate is what you should say.

Okay. And I don't. And if you're finishing on the 20th of December two weeks left. That's us. Two weeks left. Do you know some people

are finishing at the end of next week? Yeah. One week left. My kids go to a public school because we're a family of the people. Oh my God. I know. Not embarrassing for me.

Oh my God. I work hard and I have to use the public education system. Unlike Hayley. I know. How embarrassing for me. I work hard and I have to use the public education system. Unlike Hayley. How embarrassing. I went to a public primary school

in Intermedia. Yeah. And then I went private all the way to the end, darling. But then, are they still at school? No, they're at school

until the 20th. We've got friends that kids go to a private school. They're on holiday already. Oh yeah, we used to never go. You're paying a fortune.

You can't get to the Bahamas on the 20th. In the middle of the year, darling. Because it was Europe summer, we got three weeks instead of two. But does the au pair get to go to the Bahamas as well? Or is the au pair expected to spend time with their family? She's not coming with us. Yuck. Who's going to care for the children in the Bahamas?

Someone local, darling. Someone local. It would be good for the kids to get some exposure to some brown people. We've got the top six coming up. A new study has found that where you go

on a date matters because you're going to be judged on it. Oh yeah, like where you choose. Yeah. I know the top six,

but trust me, this is a guy who's been on one or two first dates. We did the famous wood-fired pizza date. She didn't even appreciate it. I blowed up in my face dates. Well, you had the famous wood-fired pizza date. She didn't even appreciate it. Blow it up in my face.

Wait, you got pizza that was wood-fired? I took her to the wood fire itself. That's the definition of class. I know. A classy man. So the top six. The top six places I would recommend taking someone for a first date. And what it says about you.

Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. Tis the season, the festive season. We've got tinsel in studio and that's how you know it's Christmas time. But there's lots of people, lots of people go hard out and they change their bedding and their cushion covers. Yeah, that's a bit full on, eh?

Okay, here's some bullshit. Oh, boy. Feed it to me, bro. Here's some bullshit. But I kind of get it. They've explained it to me and they've won me over. Okay. My kids asked, in November, they were like,

can we do these like Christmas baskets for each other? And I was like. Cute. Yeah, sure. And they were like, we need to order them now. And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, the girls were like, it's a tradition. I was like, well, it's not because I've never heard of it.

It's new and it's a way to sell things. Sure. But you know how. That's what Christmas is. I was like, well, it's not because I've never heard of it. It's new and it's a way to sell things. Sure, but you know how you get- That's what Christmas is. You know that, eh? Absolutely. But you know how you get Christmas pyjamas for Christmas? Yes. And you're like, well, Christmas is kind of done in two days.

Yeah. On the 1st of December, you give someone like a Christmas basket and it has Christmas stuff in it so you can wear the Christmas pyjamas in the lead up to Christmas. Oh, yeah, that's cute. And like they bought each other, this is a silly thing, they bought each other Christmas woolly socks. So you can wear the Christmas pyjamas in the lead up to Christmas. Oh, yeah, that's cute. And like they bought each other, this is a silly thing, they bought each other Christmas woolly socks.

I'm like, it's 23 degrees Celsius. It's literally so hot in America. And they're like, can we sleep with the air con on so we can sleep on our Christmas socks? Oh, that's cute. It's nice that they're buying each other gifts and not fighting. Yeah. Well, they're probably some fighting about the gifts.

Yeah. But yeah, so they've purchased each other like Christmas pyjamas and stuff. Oh, no, I don't bother. But so there's a problem with the Kmart product. It's a Mr. and Mrs. Claus reversible queen size bed quilt cover set. So a full cover set. Yeah. And a little elf single bed quilt cover set.

Okay. And apparently in Australia, people were complaining that they would open up this quilt set and it stunk to high hell of like chemicals and this really strong smell. And then there's a, of course there's a Facebook page called Came Up Mums AusNZ.

Little hacks and that kind of stuff. And they were all in there being like, did anyone buy this? And it reeks, the whole house stinks of chemicals. And one mum said, there being like, did anyone buy this? And it reeks. The whole house stinks of chemicals. And one mum said, oh my God, yes. And I tried to wash it and it made the smell worse. And then they were like, oh yeah,

so something's wrong with this product or it's just, you know, from the factory. It's got a chemical in it. Two people have ended up in hospital. Oh wow. After they inhaled the fumes and they passed out. And then a lot of people were on this, you know, jumping on this thing and being like,

I got a rash from it. And so now New Zealand is like, we're recalling them as well. Okay, right. So if you've got that there, yeah, like an Alf Christmas set and a Mr. and Mrs. Claus Christmas set apparently can give you this like full body rash

and it absolutely reeks. What's on it? No one, I mean, they're going to have to test it and, you know, try to find out what it was. A Current Affair, that's an Australian news show. They were trying to, like, investigating it to see what the hell it is. It's, I know this, I kind of think I know a diluted version of that smell. It's basically when you open any plastic product from China, right?

When your Timu order comes and you just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, you open the bag and you're like, that's it. So one of the women that ended up in hospital had a sharp pain in her shoulder and it went all through her body, right into her jaw. After she spent the night in hospital, she was told she had to discard her washing machine. What?

That she had washed this blanket and that's how serious it was. The whole washing machine? Yeah. That's silly. I'd just run a few empty cycles. I'd just run a few, yeah was. The whole washing machine? Yeah. That's silly. I'd just run a few. I'd just run a few. Yeah, same. Hot cold.

Yeah, hot cold. Run a bleachie. Yeah, I love running a bleachie. Uber have released their Naughty and Nice list. Yeah, they do this every year, eh? To kind of, it's almost their version of a wrapped, like how we did and the best cities. I would like to say I've had quite a good year in Uber.

I think last year was somewhat of a shocker for me. A little bit of a shocker. How many Ubers this year? Well, you never leave. So to do it, you need to leave the house in a capacity in which you can't drive anymore. Why would I want to do that? To socialise, say, or go to a party. It's called

socialising. It's called going to events having a couple of drinks. Are we socialising? No, this is work. We're not I nearly spoiled the show's secret which is that we're not actually genuine friends. We say it it's all a ruse. And they can't hear it. Well, the worst

Do you know what? It's blowing my mind who's won. Who in New Zealand which city has the highest Uber what? It's blowing my mind who's won. Who in New Zealand, which city has the highest Uber rating? It's blowing my mind. How? Dunedin. Dunedin has won. Larrikins. Larrikins and rat bag students.

Is it because they live close enough to where they're going that they just walk? Yeah, maybe. And so they don't catch many Uber users? Because what would an Uber be from like town to like Studentville? Like $5? Nothing. Yeah. What's an Uber from Studentville to Margaritaville?

That's a stumble. It's a stumble. Just a stumble. Okay, so Dunedin are the best Uber ratings with 4.93 on average. Nelson has a 4.90. Who else? New Plymouth, 4.90 also. Same as Hamilton.

Respectable. Toudong are the same. Hamilton's respectable. Two very respectable regions. Napier Hastings, also a 4.90. Parmy North, though, 4.91. Again, the students. Respectable.

Respectable students. Parmy has a higher general Uber rating than me. Yes. I'm 4.86. The bigger cities, Wellington is on a 4.88. Auckland's on a 4.87 and Christchurch is on a 4.89.

So they're kind of like the worst areas. I'm lower than all of these. Also, by the way, Queenstown 4.88. That's the Australians, eh? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Tourists.

Heroes. Deeros. Who are there for snowboarding season. Mind you, they're just drinking home a walk, I reckon. Yeah. And then, like rude, self-righteous tourists who have got a bit of money. They're always rude. Money.

Rude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, doesn't the Uber driver smell a bit funny, darling? Yes. Oh, my God, this car is not brand new, is it? What do you call this? How do I say the brand name of this car? Toyota?

Yes. How bloody unusual. Is this European? I'm on a 4.91. I just locked my Uber rating. 4.86. That's pitiful. Oh, wow.

Hayley. I just think even though I've had a good year in Ubers, I think the time I massaged a guy's head, the driver's head, that was a bit full on and definitely a soilage fee. What was yours? 4.86. Mine's worse. What?

That's your wife still. 4.83. It's because when your wife spewed in the Uber. Do you know another one? Because there was definitely one night where I was trying to get an Uber and then I couldn't find them. And then I cancelled last minute and did a bit of that this year. I don't think that matters.

That doesn't include, they don't rate you when you do that. Because it was the head massage I gave the driver. That was a bit full on. 100%. Now before I reveal to you that what therapists have revealed is the one toxic trait that women mostly possess that will ruin Christmas Day, let's hypothesise around what we think that that trait could be.

Vaughan, any ideas of women's toxic traits that could ruin Christmas Day? Saying they want help but not really wanting help because the help you're giving them is the wrong kind of help. Yeah, yeah, that's definitely one I do. Striving for like, worrying too much about perfection to the point where they ruin the day for everybody. Bingo baby, bingo baby. Bingo, baby.

It's the idea, the perceived pressure that we have that Christmas Day has got to be perfect and then women absorb it as their sole responsibility to make that day perfect. And it makes us insane. Yeah. And I only experienced this for the first time last Christmas when it was my first ever adult Christmas where I hosted it.

And so you were in charge of the food? All the pressure was on? My mum helped me a bit with the food and my dad helped Aaron with the barbecue but I did the menu planning and I did the ham and the chicken and this and that and then I wanted this and I did the table setting and I bought particular things

and I had an idea of how the napkin rings would go around and how the plates would sit on the thing and then I wanted to sit outside because it was a nice day but it was windy and all my napkins were linen and they were blowing away and the timing, it was too much

and the pressure and I just wanted, I'm 34 years old, I should be able to host Christmas perfectly. Can someone help me? But no one's doing it right. And I found it. And I was like, oh my God, I've ruined today.

I've watched my mother-in-law do this. She's calmed down a little bit in recent years. Yeah, right. But I grew up in a very nonchalant Christmas. We just did the same thing every year. Yeah, right. And the worst thing, my grandmother would be like, I've overboiled the potatoes.

I've ruined Christmas. And I'd be like, shut up. Calm down. I'm fine. That's the other thing, and my grandmother would be like, I've overboiled the potatoes. I ruined Christmas. And I'd be like, shut up. Come here. I'm fine. That's the other thing. When you've cooked Christmas dinner and you're sitting there and if the sole conversation

is not around how good this food is, I'm going to flip the table and you can all get screwed. Yeah. I felt like that. I was like, no one's mentioned this. No one's mentioned that. It was awful.

I just felt so much pressure. Yeah, but they would have been talking about it if it was bad. Yeah, 100%. Also, at one point, I just yelled out from the kitchen. Everyone was having a nice cocktail on the deck, and I just yelled out, I'm not enjoying this! It was a lot. Wow.

It was really a lot. Yeah. So you're not hosting this year? I'm not. Yeah. And even we were going to host for a bit. My parents were going to come to our house, but mum was like, I'll take care of food.

My mum goes all out, but she can host. She's got the experience. She's just got it. And she'll make such amazing food that is fussy and great and delicious, but she doesn't get flustered by it, and I was so

flustered. Yeah, she's like, we don't need to go through that again. Yeah, I guess you just have to remember, like, it doesn't have to be the perfect day. It's not what it's about. You've nailed the asparagus and the ham is juicy. It's about presence. It's about whanau and it's about gifts. That's right, yes. It's about

whanau. It's about time together. It's quality time as a family. And gifts. Spending money on each other. Juicy ham there. No, no, it's a dry ham. I know, but Vaughan, what I'm trying to say is that the pressure on me

to make sure that that ham is juicy while I'm also doing the salad, while I'm not trying to overcook the potatoes, it's too much, man. But then you also got to balance it because you, like, my mum was a little bit panicky about just the timing of everything.

Yes, the timing's hard. And so one Christmas I was like, I'll take care of all the meat, your ham, your turkey. Yeah, but not every family has that. But now it's me every year. I think if the ham is dry, just put some chutney on it and shut up.

Lots of chutney. Put some chutney on it and shut up. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top 6 deals with first date

destinations and what they say about you. Yes, a study has found that where you take someone out for dinner it matters. Basically, it can make or break a date because, yes, they are judging you. I think, I mean, that's what a first date is. Judge, judge, judge, judge, judge.

You say something, you move, you present yourself, you breathe. I'm judging, I'm judging, I'm judging. Do I want to procreate with this person? You lie and then mentally be like, got to remember that lie. So they... I'm spinning a web. They asked a whole bunch of people about this. 41% of respondents said a sit-down dinner should be standard protocol for a first date.

Protocol. It's a perfect setting. 63% agree that location is crucial for impressing a potential partner. Okay. The food preferences were kind of a non-issue. An impressive 85% of those with different tastes are willing to accept partner's choices if it's something different.

I would find, do you know what I would find hot? Is them deciding. Like, even them just being like, I'm going to take you to a place, this place. I wouldn't be like, oh, is it? Try some new food. Yeah, oh, I don't really eat a lot of whatever. I'd just be like, great, I love that you're taking charge.

And also 90... Oh, really? Yeah, long may it continue. 95% of people wouldn't be bothered by what their date ordered. Oh, I would if they said,

um, butter chicken, butter chicken mild. Oh, what about if they were just like, just a garden salad? Yeah,

if you brought them to like, this sick place with like, steaks and amazing, like, big breads and stuff and they went,

oh, I might just, I'm not too hungry I might get a side salad. Yeah. I would judge that. I'd be like, well, I'm getting two steaks then. Yeah. Can I get some dumplings but can you just make sure that they're super mild? Yeah. And

steamed, not pan fried. Oh no. It's too crispy, it hurts my mouth. It's gotta be pan fried. And oil, there's oil in it. What kind of oil do you use? Chili oil. Top six first aid destinations and what it says about you. Today's top six. Here's number six.

Genghis Khan Mongolian barbecue. Oh, my God. It says I'm ready to eat. It says he's exciting. He loves to travel. And he's not scared of going over the Great Wall of China to conquer more lands for the triumphant and glorious Genghis Khan. Yes. I used to, I haven't been in Auckland, but when I lived in

Wellington, oh my god, every time we'd have a big night, I'd wake up in the morning and I used to say to Aaron, take me to Genghi, which is awful that I used to say that. Take me to Genghi. Take me to Genghi. And you'd go and you'd be like, I'm going to eat five bowls of noodles. And you'd have two and you're like, I'm out.

I'm done. Yeah. I'm just looking at. I love Genghis Khan. I love Genghis. Okay, there's still one in Hamilton. Can we do a show of Genghi? Like you said, I haven't been since I moved to Auckland. I've lived here a very long time. Aaron went a couple of weeks ago.

Did he? He went with his brothers. I said he caught up with his brother who was up from Christchurch. And then I was like, where did you go for dinner? He was like, Genghis Khan. I was like, yes. Did you say, you went to Genghi? You didn't take me to Genghi.

I'm going to Genghi. Isn't that awful? Can we ever show Genghi? Used to be in Garden Place in Hamilton, but now it's not. It's on Victoria Street. Okay. Lovely.

Long live Genghi. Long live the Genghi. Number five on the list of the top six first aid destinations and what they say about them. Food court, just at the mall. He's versatile. He's worldly. He's budget conscious.

And he's not afraid to wipe a dirty table with a dry napkin because he's a gentleman. We've all wiped a table with a napkin. Oh, we've all, yeah. And got to the part where the dry napkin, you're more just like polishing it in. Yeah, and the rice. Sticky buff.

You're polishing the rice into the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it won't get off, but you don't really want to flick it. You don't want to touch it with your bare hands. It's not wet enough. Number four on the list of the top six date destinations and what they say about you. Lone Star.

He's bougie. Hungry. He's hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a cowboy, and he's not afraid to eat sat right under a giant framed picture of Colin Meads or Johnny Cash.

Yeah. Right there on the wall. Yep. Gold Lone Star, eh? Real big. Number three on the list of the top six date destinations of what they say about you. The C-rated Chinese takeaway with one table

because most people don't dine in. Great. It says he's got a strong constitution, he's an MSG boy, and he's going to rinse that plastic container and probably throw it in a kitchen drawer for future use. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for years to come. Great little container there.

When those go straight into recycling, I'm not happy. Oh, no, no, no. We use them for loose screws. Oh, really? You know, or paint. Yeah. Paint. Oh, because it's flat.

A little paint roller. Or if you're going to paint a little bit, you just top in a little bit of paint all around. A little something. That's why I've got so much rice in the walls. I was going to say that's why when I came around you had a carrot on the wall.

I do love this. I just can't buff out this lump. What is that? This coriander decal on your wall is lovely. Whereabouts? Oh no, that's just from the leftover.

Chinese. That rinsed really well around here. Carrot on my wall. Two on the list of the top six first aid destinations of what they say about you. A strip joint, but't it? Carat on my wall. Two on the list of the top six first aid destinations of what they say about you. A strip joint,

but only because they do the best chicken wings. Oh, they do good wings. But that's the only reason. And what it says about him? Solid guy. Can't see any issues here. Yeah, no issues at all. Good having sticky wings at a strip club

because it makes you keep your hands to yourself. Wait, they actually do wings at a strip club. I've never eaten at a strip club. It's a very American... Oh, right. Okay. Who never eaten at a strip club. It's a very American... Who knows? Who knows it's in a strip club? It's a family restaurant. You hear every now and then about a strip club having amazing food. Yeah.

I've only been to a strip club twice in my life and I didn't eat any food. I didn't eat. They told me to take my hat off. I was wearing a dress hat. I just took my hat off. Well, they tell all the men to take my hat off. I was wearing a dress hat. Oh. I just took my hat off.

Well, they tell all the men to take their hats off, so why would I be allowed to sit there in my fedora? Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six first date destinations and what they say about you, a food truck festival. Oh, my God, my favourite. I would be so stoked if someone took me to a food truck festival. Same. What it says about him is you've got yourself a millionaire there, ladies, because

you might think, oh, that's not too badly priced, but then it's one taco, so you've got to buy three lots, and then you're like, I'm still hungry, and then I've got to have a churro. You have a churro. It's always a churro. So you've got yourself a millionaire who can also just sit down and eat off the grass. Yeah. Love that. Humble millionaire. Yeah.

Lock them down. Get it done. That's today's top six. So Spotify Wrapped came out yesterday, right? We were all sharing how very interesting and quirky we are. And then New Zealand has their own kind of wrapped as a collective, what we as a collective listen to. I've got the top five, though. I do want to note,

so our Prime Minister, Christopher Luxent, is the tea at the end of the day. Christopher Luxent. Yeah, Luxent. Christopher Luxent. He shared his. What does yours look like? Top artists.

Post Malone was his number one. No. Fleetwood Mac number two. Dua Lipa number three. Ed Sheeran number four Tim McGraw number five What a weird Tim McGraw I can

Like see Something tells me Photoshop I feel like that's not real Something tells me Photoshop Like they've just Picked an artist From every Yeah something for everyone

Or he uses a different Streaming service And like this is a social media Do you know what I mean I was like Post Malone Post Malone is his was like Post Malone. Post Malone is his number one. What were his songs? His songs were on there too.

Top songs. Shotgun. Number one. I'll be riding shotgun. George Ezra. Surely not there. Is that it? Must be. Two. Real Love Baby. Three. Vienna. Isn't that Billy Joel? I don't know. I'm thinking of a Viennese

the delicious ice cream. Oh, yum. Yeah. Dance the Night. That's Dua Lipa. Five, Lil Boothang. Christopher Luxent. So he put up his and the Australian Prime Minister did as well

and they have both been wearing it. Like, hey, maybe concentrate on running a country rather than telling us that you're cool and you've got a bit of everything, hey? Did you see? Now, I'm remaining apolitical, but I do have a photo of Chloe Swarbrick before me. She watches me do the show, as does Jason Momoa,

the devil of Dublin, and Stephen Adams. I can't put a little screen in front of me. She's your crush. But Labour posted on their Instagram, they did like a little screen that inspires me. She's your crush. But Labour posted on their Instagram, they did like a Hey Christopher Spotify rap thing

and they did like a fake rap for him and it was all very political but the number one thing they said was his number one artist was Nickelback. I thought it was funny.

I thought it was a funny little dig. Nickelback. I love Nickelback. Anyway, so here's Aotearoa's top five songs for 2024

as a collective, as a country. What did we listen to? Number five, Espresso by Sabrina Caputa. Now, of course, we love that song. It's a great song. One of the biggest songs of the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Espresso.

Number four, Million Dollar Baby by Tommy Richmond. Million Dollar Baby. Million Dollar Baby. It's great stuff. I want Million Dollar Baby Vaugh Baby It's great stuff I want Million Dollar Baby Vaughan's version That's probably my That's gonna be my next year Hosier Too Sweet was our third most listened to song of 2024

As a New Zealander We love an Irishman Particularly me Number two was Hosier Irish I didn't know that Lose Control by Teddy Swims was number two. And number one, Benson Boone.

Beautiful things. Yeah. Bit of a sausage fest up there, isn't it? Big saucy fest. Sabrina's number five. This is a great song. Yeah, it is a great song. His vocals are amazing.

And is it one of those songs that you'd use at a wedding and a funeral? Yeah. Though I don't want to be hooning down the aisle when he's going, that is beautiful! But this bit. Yeah. You know, that's beautiful. He thanks God every day for the girl you sent my way.

Is this Dad Die in the end? Benson Boone? Yeah. Because that was his other song Was about his dad eh Yeah His dad died Oh yeah Well not that I hope so

Right Now when are we all agreeing That we should stop Sharing our Spotify raps Once people know How quirky and cute And weird I am Okay like

Tomorrow Yeah Because like that's all it was Yesterday And that's understandable Because yesterday was the day But you know like Going forward

Today's just Stop from today Do we stop from today's just stopped from today. Do we stop from today? Do we stop from today? I didn't share mine. Well, I mean, I feel like today is the last day and then definitely not over the weekend. I didn't share mine because it's a little embarrassing. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I don't have cool popular songs like this. I mean, you were trying to buy Slipknot tickets yesterday. Missed out. Slipknot. But I still, I love Benson Boone. I'm Slipknot tickets yesterday. Missed out. Slipknot. But I still love Benson Boone. I'm Slipknot and I'm Benson Boone. You've got a bizarre Venn diagram. I'm a weird woman, eh?

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Just before we get to final rankings, thank you to the show sponsor, Nonny's. McCafe McDonald's just dropped off some nugs. Here's the plan. Hash browns for Hayley. Did you request some hash browns this morning? Iugs and some hash browns for Hayley did you request some hash browns this morning?

I requested a special hash browns for Hayley but we're doing our podcast record after the show today we've got a big day ahead we're all hanging out long day need a fuel

we need some food need some food switch our shorts every time okay the final rankings today's final rankings with swimming season upon us

we are going to rank today bodies of water to swim in. Your lakes, your rivers, your oceans, your puddles. Your public swimming pools. Yeah, your private swimming pools. I don't think we'll do private because that's pretty boosh if you've got a pool. Yeah. Not everyone has a pool. We'll do public swimming pools.

Yeah. I thought we were just doing wild water. No, I think swimming pool because some people might live inland. They'll swim in lakes and rivers. Okay, what about a slow, wide river with some, do they call it eddies? Like, nice, kind of deep. A swimming hole. A swimming hole.

Swimming hole's number one for me. Swimming hole a swimming hole is number one for me yeah swimming hole's gotta be number one it's just rad to find a wild a nice deep hole in the river

river's a little unpredictable yeah you gotta be careful if I could put streams on the list oh yeah that'd be rad cause you can

pick up the river rocks and make like a little dam and make yourself a little like outdoor pool you just sort of perch there okay Shannon is

I know she she pushed this before when I mentioned bodies of water. Nobody is swimming in an estuary, Shannon. Yeah, there's fun friends. You can hang out with eels and... No, eels aren't in estuaries. Yeah. They're muddy. You'll get bloody stuck in there.

Helicopters are going to have to winch you out. Can you hang out with mangroves? Sticks? Sharp sticks under the mud? Yeah, you can hang out with mangroves. Oh,ch you out. Can you get those mangrove sticks, sharp sticks out of the mud? Yeah, hang out with the mangroves. Oh, I hate it. You go for a kayak? Yuck.

What about a pond? Ponds freak me out. It's so slimy. Yeah, they're dark underneath. Stagnant. Pond is stagnant. Yeah, stagnant. Just like ducks and yuck.

Unless it's a lake, then that's okay. Then it's a lake, but that's different. Then that's a vast, it's a bigger body of water. I actually think maybe we're all in unison here. You can't beat a river. Where my parents live. Swimming hole, then river. But then you can't beat a spa pool, can you?

Yeah, but swimming hole is a river. You know what I mean? Like it's in the river. Like where my parents live in the Wairarapa, there's a beautiful swimming hole in Featherston. And we go there and it just like, it's the river runs into a nice deep hole. I can just imagine it. I can imagine it. But does the stream run just like, it's the river runs into it. I can just imagine it.

But does the stream run into a river? The river runs into the hole. Because the water hole, swimming hole can be a stream that's a deep part of a stream. Maybe a waterfall comes off. So you want to make much more of a stream than a swimming hole. I want to make it its own thing.

Then swimming hole's number one. Swimming hole's number one. And then I would go swimming hole and then I would go river. Yeah. I love river swims. Yeah. And I'm from Wellington, and the ocean was freezing. Yeah.

So at least with the river, you know it's cold, but it's fresh. But then that's the thing, the beach. There are some amazing beaches. But then I'm going to go beach third. But beach has got to be third. Beach is third. Beach should be number two. I think beach is two for me.

Swim a hole for the novelty. Beach. But then I is two for me. Swim a hole for the novelty. Beach. But then I might go nice spa pool. Yeah. Nah, because spas... You're not swimming, are you? Nah. You're sitting and it's quite hot.

You get too hot, you get dizzy. I don't like big public pools because there's too many kids in them. And there's wheeze. Yeah, true. There's unannoyably And there's wheeze. Yeah, true. There's unannoyably, there's wheeze. And they just have to dump the chlorine in because everybody goes in dirty. Yeah. And people like Fletch swim around with his toe bandage.

What if you've got a... Yeah, okay. Yeah, fair call. Let me text the... What about a waterfall? Waterfalls are rad. They're good to look at, but you're not at Often the swimming hole is underneath the river Waterfall because the water

Over here is boom boom boom There's one just out of Tauranga that's beautiful But they do warn that there's sometimes poos in the stream Someone said fountain Now we're not swimming in the fountain Don't go fountain swimming That thing's manky It's not chlorine

Kids go in them Not the Mission Bay fountain That's the pissiest fountain in the country I reckon and swimming. That thing's manky. It's not chlorine. Yeah, it's manky. No. Kids go in them. Kids, yuck. Not the Mission Bay Fountain. That's the pissiest fountain in the country, I reckon. Yeah, that and the official title. That and the bucket fountain.

Oh, that is straight piss. Have you ever pissed in the bucket fountain? Oh, yeah, that's straight piss. I've never seen anyone wee in the bucket fountain. Yeah, it's straight piss. Oh, that's disappointing. It's 80% urine.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. And then you'll be there and a bucket will surprise you and splash you. Splash you with urine. Yeah. Someone said there are eels in a bucket will surprise you and splash you. Splash you with urine. Yeah. Someone said there are eels in the river.

Has that been taken into account? Eels won't bother you. No, they stay away. They won't bother you. They're a reluctant creature. The only thing with river swimming is the... Sharks. No, is the silly little shoes you've got to wear.

You know, your river shoes. Oh, no, no, no. That's reef shoes. Reef shoes in a river. I'm not wearing reef shoes in a wear. You know your river shoes? No, no, no. Reef shoes? I'm not wearing reef shoes in a river. Nobody's wearing reef shoes. Where my parents live we would always go

river swimming and their rocks were so awful and so we all bought reef shoes and you just feel so nah kind of just would roll

yeah roll and stuff. Reef shoes not going to protect your toe brush. So as a whanau we bought reef shoes and god you feel dumb in your togs

and reef shoes. You really do. You really do. Okay, you take them off after a swim and your white feet somehow are whiter. Your white feet have gone white. Yeah, whiter, whiter, whiter. Okay, so it's- One, water holes. Water holes.

Because they're exciting and they're not every day. And there's probably a rope swing as well. Oh, dude. We didn't even mention the rope swing. We might be able to jump off a high thing into the water. Bridge or a cliff. Yeah. But always check the water.

Always check the water. Always check the water. Always check the water first. Always have someone watching. Take off your Apple Watch before you do. That's right. That's right. You lost yours. Yeah.

Yeah. So we're going, waterhole is one. Yeah. Beach. I'm happy to say beach is two. Beach is two. I love a beach. I love a beach swim.

There's nothing better than playing in the waves and it's salty. And three is just a river. Yeah, nice. And four I'd say I'd like to sort of shallow w's salty. And three is just a river. Yeah, nice. And I do, and four I'd say I'd like to sort of shallow wade in a stream when I need to pee.

You know what I mean? Like, oh, I can't actually cool off and you sit in a shallow stream and you say, I'm peeing. Look at me, the stream is you can sit in it and it's not too deep.

You can comfortably sit in it. Whereas you've got to keep yourself afloat in a water hole or a river. God, I feel like a swim. Good work, team. I think that was good. That was a good final

rankings today. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Hard to find a lover, isn't it? Is it? Hard to find a lover, apparently, at the moment. You've got your apps, you've got your, you know, people

what's this called? When I've set you up on a what's this called? When I've set you up on a, what's this called? Waving your hands. Thank you. You're waving your hand. I don't know what's this called. I haven't dated for 20 years. I don't, kids waving their hands at each other now.

I can't even imagine you going on a first date. I just don't. Yeah, now, like this version of you. You just wouldn't want to leave the house. No. You'd be like, oh, can you come to me? No, I don't want them in my house. Exactly.

Then you've got to leave. I don't want to leave. Oh, okay. Yeah, I literally can't imagine it. Anyway, this is a great idea. I think this is in Virginia. I think you really pitched up there. Did I?

Yeah, I think there's... Mariah. Sorry, you really pitched up there. Did I? Yeah. I think there's... Mariah. Sorry, it's Mariah season. Might have set a few dogs off in some garage doors. This is in America and it's called Pitch a Friend. I'm going to... Okay. Pitch a Friend.

Pitch a... Sorry. Pitch. Like a pitch. Pitch a friend. Like a business pitch. Like a business pitch. Okay. Like a pitch. Pitch a friend. Like a business pitch. Like a business pitch. Okay.

Think PowerPoint presentations. So this happens. So for example, this particular night at a brewery, like a big pub, you go and say, say Fletch, you're single. Yeah. Oh my God, I just revealed that you're in a relationship.

I'm not in a relationship. She is a sweetheart. Can you stop doing this? My Margaret's devastated. Oh, she's dead. My Margaret's dead. I can't keep up. Can you stop making up fictitious girlfriends?

She's lovely, though. She's boisterous. Well, we won't need to make them up if you go and get yourself one. God, someone nail this character down. Get back on the horse. For God's sake. Get out there. So say, Fletch, you're single, I'm not. I am single. Let's say, hypothetically,

okay, you're single, Fletch, I'm not. I would take you to this night and I would prepare a presentation, a PowerPoint presentation. It would be like, meet Fletch. Like slides and everything. Slides. Oh, yuck.

Photos of him travelling around. No, this is cringe. These are some of his interests. These are some of the quirky things that I know that Fletch wouldn't put on his Tinder bio, for example,

that I know about him. Da-da-da-da. And then, you put it all into like a bowl, you draw it out, and they're like, oh, right, next up we've got

Hayley presenting Fletch and I would go up and everyone listens oh I don't like it I don't like it everyone listens and you pitch your friend to the single people

in the room you're there with a microphone yeah and like the slide shows up on the big screen like the rugby would be like a work conference yeah

oh no that's but okay and then but what happens at this event at the end of the presentation? Is someone like me? It's almost like a blind dating thing where you would have a form and you would say,

oh, I'll enjoy this presentation about Fletch. And then you'd be able to receive their number and then it's up to you to initiate or find them in the thing. What if you get up... Okay, let's do Fletch. Let's do Fletch. No, what if you're doing...

And next up to present on her friend, Fletch, please welcome, ladies and gentlemen, Hayley. Kia ora, everybody. How are you feeling tonight? I'm doing comedy. It's not stand-up. Sorry. It's not stand-up.

And also, it's going to be amazing how she makes us about herself. Did she make that about herself? No, it was just a default. I've been gigging a lot. Okay, go ahead. See, she just told everybody how well she's doing because she's gigging a lot. Gigging.

How's about that middle seat on planes's just telling everybody how well she's doing because she's gigging a lot. Gigging. How's about that? Middle seat on place. What's the deal with traffic? Okay. Hi, everyone. Yes, thank you very much. My name is Hayley, and I would like to pitch to you my friend,

Carl Peter Fletcher, or who we love to call Fletch. I don't want to do this. Next slide. I don't want to do this. I would not be comfortable with this. Despite being 45 is in the best shape of his life. Here is a photo of him I snapped taking off his jumper every morning

and I get to see his abs. Cue abs. Let us not. Let's not do this. Sickness is one of Fletcher's passions. Let's not do this. I hate this so much. But the boy also loves to eat cheese balls.

Cue cheese ball slide. Also, I have cheese balls for the podcast record today. Fantastic. Do you have that half bag that I finished on Monday? I didn't doubt it for a second. Oh my god, do you know what? Go on. Hayley, we came home from Troye Sivan and Hayley opened a bag of cheese balls, ate half of it and then rolled it back up

and put it on the bench. Do you know the next day there were two cheese balls in Major Murray Fluffington's litter box? Wait, did you put them in there? Are they in the bag? She put cheese balls in Major. They fell off. Oh, did they drop?

I thought. Okay, here's where my brain went. He got into the bag, ate cheese balls. They didn't digest. He shed out two perfect cheese balls. I thought he got in and opened the bag and dragged them out. No. Now let's talk about Major Murray Fluffington.

My friend, Fletcher's best friend, next slide, the cat. This would be so fun. I would find this so, like, I just hated you doing that scenario. Yes, but you don't, because I would be pitching your best qualities. Right, okay. And you hate receiving compliments. It makes you feel uncomfortable. I don't like it.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I could get up and talk about what a piece of shit you are, but that wouldn't get you a date. Yeah. But okay, so what if your friend goes along to one of these pitch nights and they pitch you and then nobody wants your number? But it's fine. You just go, you just had a nice night at the pub,

you go home alone like you do every weekend. You are like the ring doorbell on Dragon's Den. You went along, you got pitched. They said pass. Years later, billion dollar company. Yeah. Some good things have passed the pitch. That's right.

Don't give up. Don't give up, babes. There's someone out there for you. There is someone out there for you. Loneliness is not forever. It is a period of time that you are going through. Extreme loneliness will be over. We've just got to find the right investors.

Okay. And we're not settling for a big share in the company. No, we're not. We're not settling. Because you know you're worth it. I'm a ring doorbell. You are the ring doorbell. You are the show's ring doorbell. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Okay. There is a guy in America, Jacob Penis, his name, he's 25 years old. He's gone viral over the last few years for his extraordinarily long thumb. Big thumb. And he- You laughed when I said it's as long as a phone, but it is just shy of the-

16. iPhone 16. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just shy. It's just shorter than a six inch- So when you're doing that thing where you're trying to send a message one-handed- Yep. And you've got to reach the

other side of the screens, the hard one, he'd actually struggle to get the closest number. He'd have to hold, if he wanted to text with his thumb, he'd have to hold it with the other hand. It is. It would extend too far. It's just like it kept growing. I'd say it's a small skinny forearm. You know, it's so

long. It's hyper mobile because it's got three bendy points as opposed to just one. Or what do we have? Two. That one's one. It's three. I suppose it'd be weird if there wasn't three because each part would be so long. Oh, he wouldn't even be able to fit gloves.

No gloves. You'd have to get special made gloves. What part of the US does he live in because some parts get cold. Yeah, cold. That gets cold. Yeah. So he started sharing it online and he's got like nearly 3 million followers. And people are just obsessed with his big thumb.

I've seen him before and I was like, that's a big thumb. Yeah. Anyway, we want to know, we've done this before and it really tickled me. And I feel like being tickled today. Well, I remember last time you were like, I've got an idea.

I've got an idea. We should do this. Yeah, and it was, I think it was about a guy's hands that time or feet or something. This time I wonder, it's the return of, do you have a big bit? If it was one like

bigger than the other or just big? Yeah, just anything big. Like big feet. Maybe you've got massive feet. Maybe you've got massive feet. Maybe you've got like a honking nose. A honking honker. Maybe you've got huge, like really like a notably big bit. Right.

We'll keep it clean as well. Like really long arms. Yeah, Marfan syndrome. Aaron's got a light bit of that. So Aaron's arm span, so he's two metres tall, Aaron. Yeah. And his wingspan is a lot longer than that. So his arms hang longer. Is your arm span meant...

It's supposed to be kind of roundabout. The same. Yeah, yeah. Your wingspan's supposed to be kind of your height, whereas he's got long, really long arms. Maybe you've got like super, super long legs. This is what I want to know. This is what I want to know. This is what I want to know.

Have you got a big bit? It's the return of have you got a big bit? Okay, 0800 DALS at M. Vaughan, were you quiet during this? I was just trying to think. I don't really think I've got any big bits. No, we know that. They were already standard bits.

Standard. And then I googled Marfan syndrome because I've never heard about it. I've got those long toes. You've got long finger toes. My finger toes are longer than my big toe. Yeah. Which some people find a bit weird. I think your toes are actually doing a lot of heavy lifting in the size 12.

You know, he's all like, I'm a size 12. Shoot. Anyone's like, big feet, big feet. But it's a lot of toe. No, it's, yeah, but it all counts, doesn't it? Yeah. Because it's all about the length, Morn. It'd be a comment of a woman saying,

I'm a D-cup, but the nipple is doing, you know, two. It's a B with a big nipple. Yeah, the breast with a big puffy nipple, yeah. The nipple's doing a lot of the work. The nipple's really fling out the bra. It was interesting. Who was I with? I think it was Dr. Shawnee when we went to the shoe.

He was getting those, you know, run on the treadmill at one of those shoe shop places. Shoe clinic! Yeah, something like that. And then one of his feet was like slightly bigger than the other. That always happens.

It's quite a common thing. Yeah. But it wasn't like by a centimetre it was by like millimetres. Not by a size. Sometimes it can be up by like half a size.

Like half a shoe size. Yeah. That's crazy. But imagine if you had like a whole shoe size bigger on one foot. Head circumference, that's my big...

Yeah. That is your big one. 63 centimetre situation. Okay, well, you can text in 9696. You can call us 0800-DARLS-ATM. I love this. It is the return of... Have you got a big bit? Have you got a big bit?

Because there's a guy with a massive thumb. And when we say massive, I mean, like, look at your middle finger right now, and it's probably twice that. It's way longer than that. It's five inches fully stretched. That's long. That's long. I know something else that's not five inches fully stretched.

It was lingering in the air. Someone had to say it. You didn't have to say that. The rest of his fingers aren't long, right? He doesn't have Slender Man hands. No, it's just one thumb. Right. But he's owned it, and his YouTube and TikTok channels are huge,

and people just are fascinated by this. I want to know if you have a big bit. Like anything on your body, is it? I don't want to use the word abnormal. Oh, yeah. Is it sort of uniquely large? Yeah. Hayley, you were told that you have something large.

Yes. Good morning, team. Good morning. Yes. I've been told that I have abnormally large eyeballs. Eyeballs? The ball? The actual ball is big?

The actual eyeball, yes. I'm in the top percentile. Wow. Congratulations, Hayley. Congratulations. So looking at you, you wouldn't think, oh, she's got large eyes. They're all kind of in the socket. Yeah, I've always had lots of compliments about my lovely large eyes,

which I'm not unhappy about. Oh, no, no, it's beautiful. But it is hard to find contact lenses that fit. That big? Oh, wow. Because when you said big, and like Fletch said, it's all in the socket, I was wondering if they presented large,

but that's more of like an eyelid and what's around your eye situation most of the time, isn't it? Yeah, so yes, it's actually the eyeball. It's extra large. Do they love how you drag that A in ball? Yeah, so yes, it's actually the eyeball. It's extra large. Do they love how you drag that A in ball? Eyeball. Do they make contacts that are

XL? Well, you have to order them specially, yes. Okay. You can't get your sort of normal run-of-the-mill size contact lenses. You need special ones, which are very expensive as well. Would we describe you as googly? No, not googly.

You know, I was thinking like Steve Buscemi. I've got very beautiful eyes and it's one of my best features. And I'm glad that you know that. My eyes are one of my best features as well. I wish they were a little bit bigger. I'm jealous of you. Sorry, she's made it about herself again. Yeah, hasn't she? I was just sorry about that.

Hayley, have you got any compliments for me this morning? No, it's great. Well, we share the same name, which is quite fabulous. Okay, that'll do. Yeah, I'll take it. Hayley, thank you. Thank you for your big eyes, Hayley. Greg, do you have a big bit?

I do, I do. My left foot is one full size bigger than my right. Oh, how annoying. Oh, that is so annoying. My right big toe is basically stumpy compared to my left. Have you ever been in a shoe shop? Because what size is left foot? What size is right foot?

12 and a half and 11 and a half. Whoa! So have you ever tried on shoes and then put the wrong ones back in the box and then just left? I definitely want to do it, but I have just too much ethics. Yeah, oh, you've got ethics. Yeah, sorry, these dirtbags here have been like, are you stealing, Greg?

Well, no, you're not stealing. It's not it. But it is because the other box that you've got. That's a shoe brand. The other box is like now useless. Yeah, but then where's somebody else in the other situation? I do have to ask for multiple sizes. I have to try them on, but

my right foot ends up swimming in their shortness. Oh, so you just buy the bigger size and then the right foot swims. Oh, okay. Yeah, it looks really weird when my shoe bends on my right foot. But also, like, how many shoes, a lot of shoes don't come in half sizes.

No, that's the struggle. Yeah, right. So you'd have to go, what, a 13 for the biggest size? Yeah, but then it's 11 and a half for swimming around in a 13. What a mess! All I can offer now, thoughts and prayers. I have thoughts and prayers and perhaps a small insert. Yeah.

There we go. Yeah, maybe an insert. Would an insert work? Well, if Aidy wants an insert, sure. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'll make you an insert and I'll send it off. I'll 3D print you an insert. Thank you, Greg. Ask some messages.

My thumb has a very bulbous end, making it look exactly like a big toe. Oh, yeah, I know. I've seen people with those toe thumbs. No, do you know that's what they reckon that we're going to evolve to with all of our phone and buttons? Texting. Yeah. Going back to bulbous thumbs.

Like kind of padded tennis bats my arms are longer than I am tall they hang significantly past my hips oh yeah when I train biceps

it looks like a spider trying to scratch its head silver lining shapely forearms yeah yeah oh yeah good good for the shapely forearms yeah I used to

because you know with marching skirts how they're little, I used to march with a girl and she had really, really long arms and so her arms would hang below the skirt. Well, and you've got a long torso too, don't you? Oh, I'm very long in torso. I've got a big bit. The bit being the main part of my body.

This one might make some ladies take a sharp breath in. My daughter was born with a 39 centimetcentimetre head. It was off the plunket charts. Oh, my God. She got it off her dad who has had to order custom-made helmets. 39 centimetres. It's a giant.

That's a basketball. It's a big head. I've got quite a big nose. So you're 39 centimetres around. Yeah. And when you give birth, your cervix dilates to 10. Yeah. And the rest of it's just stretching.

Can I have a C-section, please? Yeah, yeah. I think it must have been C. Yeah, yeah. Cut it out. Sunroof, please. Must have been C. Sunroof.

This isn't coming out. Oh. Someone said, unfortunately, I've got a massive gut. It's been a hard year. It has been. Me too, hon.

It's been a hard few years. It's been a hard few years. I wear a woman's size 14 shoe. Have to get them custom made and that sucks. Wow. Because most stores will just go to a 10. Yeah. Or 11 in a stretch.

And the ladies. Yeah, and the ladies. A 14, yeah. That's a men's 12. Outlet shoe shop the other day because I said I've lost one shoe. Like I'm a seven-year-old child. He's lost and confused and cold. He's lost one shoe. I've lost one shoe. Like I'm a seven-year-old child. He's lost and confused and cold. He's lost one shoe.

I've lost one shoe. And the groundskeeper, I assume, has run the other one over with the mower. Were you not wearing a singlet that day? No, it was cold. No, it was cold. He was just confuddled. I wasn't thinking right.

And the shoe sizes went from like eight men's and then there was like a couple of like tens to 15. I've never seen a shoe store just stocking a standard 15. Yeah. That's a massive hoof. That's a massive foot. Massive foot.

Someone text down, my little brother has size 15 feet. Jesus. Far out. That's, you're ordering from America, eh? Yeah. You would have to.

What's Aaron? He's a 13 and that's kind of where it stops. Yeah, but of course, he's 6'6". He'd fall over otherwise. Yeah, yeah, he needs it. That's going to be at size nine. Otherwise, he'd look like and that's kind of where it stops. Yeah, but of course he's 6'6". He'd fall over otherwise. Yeah, yeah, he needs it. That's going to be at size 9.

Otherwise he'd look like he was on trotters. Yeah. Big trotters. I've got a rather large lid. My partner makes it known, especially now I'm about to shave my head because of my receding hairline. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but it'll look good.

Yeah, you've just got to find a good hat. Oh, yeah. You've got a big head, but you wouldn't say sort of. I am really struggling to find a hat, a new hat for the summer season. Deep head. For this big, deep. That's the thing. I've got a deep head and a big head.

And I buy these Mitchell and Ness 110, I don't know what they're called. I can't find them. Oh, sweetie. Why don't you just rock the head? Why don't you get a bucket hat? Yeah, why don't you get a beekeeper's hat? Why don't know what they're called. I can't find them. Oh, sweetie. Why don't you just rock the head? Why don't you get a bucket hat? Yeah, why don't you get a beekeeper's hat? Why don't you shut your mouth? Okay, beekeeper's hat I'm down for.

One of those road worker high viz with the nets. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, to stop the bug. What about the cricket hats that used to dome up on the sides? Yes. We want to know. They're pretty good. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Do you know what I'm going to make time for this weekend? I'm going to watch some television. It's been maybe six weeks I haven't watched any TV. You've been so busy. With the hosts and with Turin. I'm just living leaf. Don't worry, I'm Scottish now.

And being Scottish. And being Scottish and developing that. That takes up some time. now. And being Scottish, I don't know. And being Scottish, yeah, developing that. That takes up some time. Yeah. So there is a new dating show that's on Netflix and it was recently added, so it's available now. You can watch it. It's called The Later Daters. And it follows, I believe, six singles in their 50s, 60s and 70s

as they try for their second or third or fourth chance at love. So it's like a classic dating show, but for... Because they've done The Golden Bachelor a few times, like recently in America. Yeah, one older person and all like a gaggle of women. Yeah. This is, it just follows six people as they go on blind dates with potential partners of a similar age.

And they've got to kind of like try to navigate the modern dating scene. They're all baby boomers, they say. And so they just go on these sort of experiences and we follow them and apparently it's really heartwarming and like lovely watching these people who have, you know, probably lost someone or, you know, tried and tried and failed and try to find love again. Self-described baby boomers as well. So I'm like, how much of the racist chat did we cut out?

Do you reckon? Imagine being like the director behind the camera and then being like, how much of this is usable? They're getting served somewhere and they're like, so where do you think our waitress is from? Definitely not around here. Yeah, and then you're like, hey, Marie, date's going great. Don't want to interrupt the flow.

Loving this. Just see if we can move the chat away from the waitstaff. It'll be real. Maybe just get to know each other a little bit more. Okay, no more waitstaff chat. Rolling. And they're like, that person at the table next to us certainly didn't need that muffin, did she, Fatty?

Sorry, pausing. We're going to cut there. Marie. Yeah, if we could. If we could. If we could just rein in the body shaming. Yeah, because it's not really what we're doing. It's just that we don't do that anymore. Oh, okay.

Rolling. But you can't say anything these days. Oh, fine. Well, I'll just sit here then. Oh, no. If you want to make television, I'm fine. I'll just sit here. I won't say anything at all. Do you know any homos? Cut! Marie! What am I supposed to call them? Oh look at that guy over there, look at that floral shirt Camper's the row of tens

Am I right? My daughter thought she was a lesbian for a period of time and I talked her out of that Just a phase Cut, cut, cut Yeah, you do wonder how much they've had to cut out. No, apparently it's actually really lovely. You're never going to beat Love on the Spectrum

or The Undateables, the New Zealand show. They were so heartwarming to watch and not sort of traditional fast-paced silly dating show. Was this show, the Obamas that have produced this? Yeah. Yeah-paced, silly dating show. Was this show, is it the Obamas that have produced this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Michelle Obama. So, you know,

you do expect some kind of standards and quality, which often doesn't come from a dating show. And I say this as a huge fan of Max and Love Island. Yeah, but that just makes me think it's not going to be as good because it won't be as trashy. Yeah. Thank you.

I was about to say the same thing. I think it's more wholesome and it's really looking at, you know, love at all ages. And I'm like, who's going to pull out whose hair extensions? That's what I want to know. Hayley's picked today. Yeah, and it's timely because, you know me, a little emo girlie growing up. Yeah.

But this is terrible. Bob Briar, who was the original drummer from My Chemical Romance between 2004 and 2014. So those are their two, like, two of the best albums, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and Black Parade. That's him. When we saw them last year, or was it this year?

Last year. Last year. Last year. He wasn't drumming for them then. No, he left in 2014. They actually had a falling out. Right. Some differences, shall we say, in the band. This week was found dead in his home with some sort of grim circumstances.

I mean, I don't want to spoil your morning. I don't think we need to go into them. It's not nice. Found dead. About as gross as the chunny in the toilet. I would put this higher on the gross scale. I've never seen a little bit of cocktail sausage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is pretty grim.

But very devastating. 44 years old. Yeah. He was an amazing drummer. And they did come out and make a statement, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think they'd fallen out to the point that they were like,

I'm not going to acknowledge that he's dead. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm going to play some My Chemical Romance for you guys to rock out to this morning. And I just thought, I was like, what's it going to be? Because I love them all, but everyone loves the Black Parade. Yeah. Great song.

And it's the time of the year of Santa Parades. So you could say, welcome to the Santa Parade. You could say at the start, my father took me into the city to see the Santa Parade. To see the Santa Parade. To see the Santa Parade. ZM. A young boy. My Chemical Romance, welcome to the Blank Parade on ZM.

It's your Friday flashback today. Unfortunately, the drummer died. So 2006 that was released. That was my peak emo year, right? And I loved that song. We went to My Chemical Romance last year. His vocals were just as good. Yeah, he was incredible.

He was amazing. I mean, the whole band was amazing, but Gerard Way, amazing. Feedback's generally positive. Who doesn't love that? Little fact about this, Gerard Way, he started MyChemical Romance

after realising he hated his job. There you go. What was he doing? What was his job? I don't know. Oh, council inspector. Sure. Yeah. Made my Oh, council inspector. Sure. Yeah. Made my day,

Hayley. I love it. My five-year-old son just got a My Chemical Romance History lesson after he asked if this was a Christmas song. I do like as a parent delivering a sermon. I do this on the 90s bands. I'll play a song and then I'll pause it and I'll deliver a good sermon on a band.

Kids, Indie August, Blink-182 were absolutely pivotal. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's what dad's got to do. Dad's got it. Dad's, but it's weird because- Our dads did it about Bowie and Queen and all that, you know. And Dire Straits. Yeah, Dire Straits.

Listen to this, kids. Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. Listen to this bit, listen to this bit. Ba-na, ba-na, ba-na, and your chicks for free. And pause. And then your dad hits you with some 100% Thanks about it Shut up dad

We get it Now we're the dads And we're doing it on weird songs from the 90s I'm not a dad And Fletch isn't a dad You're the dad Are you guys not dads? No I'm not a dad

Who's that guy you're always hanging out with? Daddy That's my daddy Wow Who's that young guy that's always at Fletch's house? Daddy Oh okay I just thought we were all parents Yeah no, no we're not Where? Gotcha. That's my daddy. Wow. Who's that young guy that's always at Fletcher's house? Daddy. Oh, okay. I just thought we were all parents.

Yeah, no. No, we're not. Where? Anyway, certified banger. Everyone's happy with it. Now, when you talk about Christmas, it's that time of the year. Christmas parties. I've never really been to outrageous ones.

I avoid them. Yeah. I know. Too many people. And there's something, the unpredictability of a Christmas party. I'm like, I'm all good games. Yeah, a lot of organisations have definitely toned down Christmas parties in the last few years.

When would you say? Either because of costs or because of, you know, they don't want to be associated with bad press. 2008, would you say, would have been the peak on blowout big corp Christmas parties? Yeah, maybe. I'd say belts started to get tightened around then, but then there continued to be a couple of whoopsie daisies.

Yeah, I think definitely when I first started working in television one Christmas party I was on a boat. I went on a boat. A boat. I went on a boat. Television is not doing Christmas boat parties now. Ain't no one from TV on a boat this Christmas. There's a Reddit thread. People are sharing the outrageous stories

from their Christmas parties to like hookups in the cupboard and sleeping with the boss and breaking things. Sleeping with the boss? Yeah. And also, and I've never done this.

Giving someone at work a piece of mind. A bit of a piece of your mind. Did you just say you've never done that? Yeah, I don't think I've ever done that. No, I've witnessed it. I don't think you've ever done it. Some said it was instrumental in a TV show being cancelled. Okay, once

I had... That wasn't a Christmas party though, was it? It was. It was the end of the year. It was as close to a Christmas party as we could get. I will say I had been with you lot first. Because we went from one Christmas party to another Christmas party. Yeah, and we went from a mild Christmas party and we arrived maximum at the other Christmas party. And the show was on the chopping block

and I may have delivered a small slice of my mind. Okay. To the commissioner who was in charge of keeping it on TV. Right. And then we no longer got any more episodes. I don't think it timed out. In the American movie, I was the guy being like, sorry about her, come on, don't worry about it, sorry about her, sorry about her. Come on. No, don't worry about it. Sorry about her.

Sorry about her. Time to pop off, Hales. Here we go. Come on, let's get you home, eh? Wow, this is fun. Anyway, this all aside, there's also a list... Oh my God. One of our producers from HYBPA just text saying, ha ha, lol. Last time I heard from her, I was sending her a negative COVID

test to say I can go to the studio. So there's also a list online of do's and don'ts before your Christmas party. Oh, okay. Don't be the first or last to leave. Yeah, that's a good rule. Totally. Get a decent luncheon beforehand. Technically, were you the first to leave if you ghosted real down low?

Yeah, no, no, that's fine. That's not leaving, eh? That's fine. Yeah, no notice. Don't be a sad sack, but also don't be like, come on, guys, let's keep going when everyone's ready to go. Decent lunch beforehand. That's a big rule that we always have to follow.

Dress up, but don't go all out and don't be inappropriate. Stay off social media. Like, no filming at the Christmas party. Oh, no, that's where I get all my best blackmailing. Now, down this list, here it is again. Don't start airing your grievances. Anyway, I want to hear from our listeners. Make me feel a little bit better.

What is the wildest thing that happened at your work Christmas party? Maybe you weren't completely... I remember sweet shiver me timbers. A text message just came in. Okay. Should I start the ball rolling? At our Christmas party over the weekend. You've read it?

Wild. Our 60-year-old HR, which stands for human resources, guy, stood up and announced in a drunk speech he's married to a 20-year-old Cuban girl living in America as a refugee and has a seven-month-old baby with her. Jaws dropped. Everybody was like, Christmas party's done. I also just love the idea of a 60-year-old being like,

I have cut an announcement I have found love and I'm a father again She's from Cuba Wild Because I always say Cuba Wild Okay well these are the stories

we want to hear 0800 DARLS at M give us a call you can text in 9696 And maybe you didn't do it maybe you also just witnessed this

we'll accept that It's also at these events I'm reminded that it's not the young people with the drinking problems. No, no, no, no. We want to know the wildest thing that happened at your work Christmas party. Give us a call.

Blanche, Vaughan and Hayley we want to know this morning how wild the work Christmas party got and wow we are and you have not disappointed us with your messages. Some of them are historical, but some of them are too recent to have happened. Yeah. I used to work in a magazine publishing company, and Sydney reads this text.

And our Christmas parties were next level. One year, my workmate, who hated the editor of our magazine, shall we say smashed a hit on Smash Hits editor's desk. Remember Smash Hits? Smash Hits. Yeah. On the desk. On the desk.

They had a little adult fun times. They had a hit and a smash. Jesus. God. Do you know what's terrible? I love hearing the text where it always turns bad when someone's like, let's take this back to my place. You know, you can carry it and you're like, no, no, no.

Worst idea. Annette, how wild did the work Christmas party get? So wild that the authorities were called. Oh, no. We went to karaoke. Yeah. And one, I mean, I'm sure he won't mind me telling the story. Well, let's not use names or workplaces.

No, no, we won't. So, you know, they've got those disco balls and some karaoke rooms. Yeah. I don't know. He decided to put his finger on it and then it fell and shattered. Yeah, they weren't too happy with us. And then they called the cops. And I kid you not, about four cops came.

And this massive bag with, like, evidence was, like, splattered all over it. And, yeah, he was arrested. Wait, they put a disco ball in an evidence bag? Yeah. Yeah. I like the way they put a chalk marking on the ground to indicate death, and it was just perfectly round. Yeah, those little numbered things that they put next to shell casings.

Circle. Wait, so this feels like it was a prank. Pardon? This feels like a prank, right? Like someone did the work, organised to get him arrested? No, I know. No, it wasn't because he was, you know, Central Police Station where it used to exist. No, he was taken there and he was there for about six hours

and then our boss had to go and get him out at like nine in the morning. The boss had to go and get him out at nine in the morning. The boss had to? Yeah. Did he end up being charged with it? He went to court. Please tell me they brought the evidence bag out with the disco ball in it. Absolutely, yeah.

And he just had to pay whatever it cost or whatever. But yeah, he had to go to court like a month later. Exhibit A. Exhibit A. Shattered disco ball retrieved from the floor of karaoke room nine. Oh, that's crazy. Annette, thank you. Anonymous, what was the wild thing that happened at your work Christmas party? Oh, morena, guys.

Morena. So we went away to Martinborough for a weekend. Oh, lovely. Yeah, walked into my hotel room that I had all to myself. It was 500 cash and a fruit bowl, bottle of wine, chocolate. Some of them had some adult fun toys in their rooms. That's overstepping. That's overstepping.

$500 is nice, but hey, if you want to have a bloody blow with yourself while we're here, that's overstepping. That was a bit much. Thankfully, not in my room. Wow. And then, yeah, wine tours, they themselves spent about $5,000 just at one winery to take wine home. And then, yeah, it wasn't until we got back to the office and, yeah, we tried, I guess, just figuring out how much it'll cost. We estimated at roughly about $50,000 was dropped on that weekend. Oh, my God.

I don't want to know your workplace by name or anything, but what sort of industry are you in that there's that sort of money to be dropped on a Christmas party? Building. Building. Okay. Wow. This is why they're always like,

so what you're saying is I paid for that Christmas party having just finished a renovation. Oh, my God. $500 in the bowl? Yeah, that's nice, isn't it? Anonymous. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say no. You wouldn't say no to the toys either.

Neither. Toys, wine, and $500 cash in Martinborough? And a hotel room to yourself? And a wine tour? Hello! That's just like Hayley's perfect holiday. Ah, has Darden gone to heaven? And a wine tour? Hello! That's just like Hayley's perfect holiday. I has died and gone to heaven. Some messages in.

Years ago, I worked for a bank. Oh, my gosh. And our Christmas party was held on the top floor of their building. It started at 1pm. Let's say by 5pm, a little bit of Christmas cheer made the boss think we should have a sausage throwing competition from the eighth floor to see if we can get on the roof of another building. Of course, no one could throw that far. So it was just raining sausages down below. And then the police broke up the party

and gave us a festive written warning about our behaviour. Oh my god. Yeah. Someone said, is it just my company or is it always the HR team that enforce the rules all year and then comes to the Christmas party and the other ones that act up? The HR, they're the darn courses. Listen to this. fly on the wall.

I'm a DJ, so I got a lot of Christmas parties. Wildest one was, I can probably say that, at Mount Smart Stadium. And the big boss, not of Mount Smart Stadium, but who had hired the space, just to clarify, thought that the one-way window behind me was a wall. Safe to say he didn't know that the whole party could see him hooking up with the receptionist.

Oh, now. Against the wall. Oh, now. A couple of years ago, we had an ice luge of the male body. The ones where you pour the drinks at the top and it shoots down the luge.

Is that hygienic? Nope. Especially a couple of years ago. 2022, height of it luge. And you put your mouth at the end. Oh, okay. Is that hygienic? Nope. Nope. Especially a couple of years ago. What, 2022? Height of it? Yeah. And the creamy alcoholic liquid came out of the ice male luge figure exactly where you thought it would.

Now that sounds like a story from the early 2000s. It would be a nub by the end of the night. Oh, wouldn't it be? Oh, yeah. Yeah, no lips. And it's cold. No lips. Oh, gee, no lips.

No lips. Had a Christmas party out of town. I thought I was acting sensibly until I checked into the hotel room. Oh, so the after party, right? Checked into the hotel room and hopped into bed at midnight. Turns out sleeping naked isn't a smart choice.

As a few hours later, I found myself in the corridor, locked out, fully naked after sleepwalking. I had to resort to knocking on random doors to ask for a dressing gown, completely starkers. And the first door I tried was head of HR. Somebody said we're catching a helicopter to a vineyard for our... This is pretty nice.

Oh, that's posh. But we've been preloading. So on that helicopter way there, we all thought it would be funny to get naked. The helicopter pilot told us not to and said, please don't, please don't. Because I'm imagining when heaps of people are moving, it moves the helicopter. We landed at the vineyard and got out naked,

packed full of people we didn't know. If the helicopter landed and everybody jumped out naked, you'd have to appreciate that. It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. I just read there's some in here that'll be just for Fletch,

Fallen and Hayley. I'll for you. Wow. Okay. My God, I just read one that I was like, I'll read this out

and then I stopped myself. Thank God. You gotta give these ones a little pre-read. We've been banned from having any more, our company has been banned from having any more

Christmas parties at Sky City after multiple employees were caught on security camera doing wheeze in the pot plants. Oh, please. There are plenty of toilet facilities. So many

toilets there. So many toilets. Oh, God. There's so many. I'm just doing a pre-read. I'm trying to get ahead of it. Oh, my God. Someone got so drunk at their work party that they ended up approaching their boss.

I don't think they realised it was the boss and asked them to get some MDMA. Oh, no. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Walt Disney Week here at Fact of the Day. Okay. And today I want to finish up with the time that Walt Disney kidnapped the president, the vice president of the United States of America.

Wait. Wait. Go on. June 14, 1959. We're at LA's Disneyland. And it is the launch, the first day, the debut of the monorail. It's debut. The debut of the Disneyland monorail. There's literally a T right at the end and he didn't even say it.

Yeah. I do apologize. Sorry, you're right actually. Debate. My French is simply not up to the scratch. Is that how long the monorail's been around? At Disneyland. Or it started then?

Is the monorail still there? Because you can catch the train around the outside, but I don't think the monorail's still there. At Disneyland. Yeah. In Anaheim. They got rid of the SeaWorld one, didn't they, on the Goldie? Yes, just.

Just, yeah. But they shut it down over COVID and then because it sat dormant for so long, it didn't work. I'm a fan of a monorail. Yeah, I love a monorail. Sign of the future. I can't even say if I've been on one. Sydney monorail. Okay, I just feel like I've got poverty shame here.

What's it like, private school? Wow, I did not like this feeling. Wow. I love a monorail. It's a real shame they never took off. The date is June 14th, 1959. It's the Red Monorail's big debat at Disneyland. Vice

President Richard Nixon who would then become the president and would become the president later and his daughters at Walt Disney World being shown around by the man himself, Walt Disney for the big launch of the monorail. Which, you think about it, 1959, sign of the future. Yeah, that's pretty futuristic.

Could these be going everywhere? Is this like a little intro to the new travel style of America? We basically live in space. In the lead up to it, Bob Gurr, who was a Disney Imagineer, a didgeridoo Imagineer, a Disney Imagineer, had been working with a German engineer called Conrad Deller to get it working because in the lead up to it, guys, it had been breaking down every single day. Every day.

It wasn't looking good. That's not good. Bob Gurr had a uniform made especially for the day, especially for him, custom fit by the Disney costume department as the monorail conductor. He jumps, he's in charge. He welcomes on board the vice president and the vice president's daughters

and Walt Disney himself. Great. And they begin their ride. Secret service on board. Okay. Of course, because he's the vice president. Secret service on board. They do a successful loop.

Phew, says Bob. Phew. The doors open. The secret service hop off, they do a successful loop. Phew, says Bob. The doors open. The secret service hop off, check the platform. At which time, Richard Nixon's daughters are like, please can we go for another one? Please can we go for another one? Richard Nixon says, we don't want to

keep Mr. Disney. We don't want to keep Mr. Disney. And Walt Disney's like, Bob, give him another ride. Bob pulls a handle and the doors shut while the Secret Service is outside. Oh, no. Immediately the Secret Service spin and see that monorail begin to depart and they've got to be with the vice president.

Yeah. At all times. They immediately, you know, suspect the worst is the, Walt Disney himself, fiercely anti-communist. Right. Fiercely anti-communist. So they're like, it won't be Disney, but what if the driver

is an undercover Russian communist? Yeah, right. We're in the Cold War era. They're expecting the worst. And they immediately, on the radios, the vice president has been kidnapped. Kidnapped?

And they run after the monorail. On a monorail. Oh, he's having a little ride on the train. And apparently on board, Richard Nixon and Walt Disney are laughing. Yeah, right.

And the secret service men run in the hot Los Angeles heat. We're talking June, so we Walt Disney are laughing. Yeah, right. Secret Service men run in the hot Los Angeles heat. We're talking June, so we're getting towards summer. Yeah, yeah. They find it very funny. They do a full round. And then when the doors open again, they're like, Mr. Vice President, Mr. Vice President. He's like, it's all right. Everything's absolutely fine.

But for a while there, they thought Walt Disney might have kidnapped. Wow. Wow. Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon, the vice president. That's a good history lesson. I really enjoyed that tale. That was neat. Wow. Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon, the vice president. That's a good history lesson. I really enjoyed that tale. That was neat.

It's a tale. It was a tale told well. Of two men, well, Bob, actually. In a monorail. In a monorail. It's got everything we needed. Two men, one rail. Four, three men, two daughters, one rail.

That's with three, two, one. Feels like something Charlie Sheen would be in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to watch it. Sure. So today's fact of the day is Walt Disney was once implicit in a short, very short and unofficial kidnap of the American vice president. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Christmas is 19 days away. Yeah. Yesterday we got our Christmas tree. We were supposed to go last weekend, but it rained. And I was like, we went and got it last year and it rained. You don't want a wet one dripping all over everywhere. It's that, but it's also, it was warm and it was wet.

And last year we were all just like dripping with sweat. Yes. Walk around me like, Christmas tree. So we waited and then there was a few delays. And so yesterday we were finally like, let's do it. Right. And we went along. So you go to a place where you can pick your own.

Yeah, you walk around and you hold up a big flag and you're like, this one. And they come on a motorbike and cut it down, put it on the motorbike. You walk back, they make you up there, you pay. Doesn't that sound like a very big saw? That sounded like a very weak saw. No, it was an electric chainsaw.

No, dude. Dude. That sounded like an electric toothbrush. That sounded like a bread knife. Let me convert you to electric chainsaws because I, like you, was a two-stroke baddie. I don't know what you're talking about. Like a...

You got to mix up your two-stroke before you put it in there. You know what I'm talking about. He's a two-stroke baddie. You're a two-stroke. What are you putting in the two-stroke, Hayley? I'm hitting it with the stroke one goes in first, baby. Stroke two quite quickly behind two strokes

and away you go she's good yeah we got an electric chainsaw they rule okay they're so good so they have no need

for a chainsaw so they cut down everyone needs a chainsaw no they don't they don't I don't need one I live in an apartment building Fletch does not need a chainsaw

unless one day my door's locked shut and you need a chainsaw on your way out and I need a chainsaw on your way out. And I need a chainsaw on my way out. You'd use a karate kick. Yeah. You'd karate kick it down.

So, okay, so they- He's a strong boy. He's a strong boy. They chainsaw this tree down. They take it back up on the quad bike. You meet them up. You pay. You chuck it on your roof and you go home.

Yeah. Now, we've done these for the last, oh man, ages. At least six years. Yeah. It's cool. It is's cool it's a nice tradition and every year I'm like we've got to get one

that reaches the roof in the middle of the house I want a big tall bad boy every year it gets poo pooed every year we don't need one that big

but it's also more expensive I know more expensive and you need way more decorations I don't see I wouldn't I'd be happy for some of it to be bear of deck.

Oh, yuck. Just because I'd almost put a Christmas tree in the house. Did you hear that? Bear of deck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. So you're going to have a big tree with little tree ornaments.

I almost think. Or spread out with some bear patches. I'd almost have a Christmas tree in the house, no decorations. Lights and nothing else. No. That's called a houseplant, dude. Yeah, but you don't get a houseplant that's a full pinus radiatus that hits the ceiling. But anyway, so on the way there, the girls are like,

are we allowed to get a big one this year? And I was like, I didn't say anything. Far be it from me to rock the boat on one size Christmas tree. You're learning when to shut your mouth. Just keep your mouth shut. And the girls are like, are we going to get a big one this year? And Shardu's like, we don't need a big one. And they were just like, you do this every year.

You tell us who can get a big one next year and then we don't get one. So we walked around and I think we probably got our smallest Christmas tree ever. I saw it next to Indy and I was like, quite small. She's getting tall. I know she's getting tall, but you know. Yeah. I think we could have gone a size up. It was so much so the Christmas tree holder at the bottom

that you turn the screws until it gets tight and holds the Christmas tree in place. I got a sore wrist from, and you know, I've got wrists of steel. Oh my God. There's wrists. You should see, they're jacked. There's a jack. Look at that forearm.

Far out. A lot of training. This thing can go all day. A lot of training. He gyms his bra. Chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka. They are. Turning the screws to get it in, it was a skinny little trunk.

Oh, that's embarrassing. I know. It was quite embarrassing. So what we've planned next year. You're already thinking about next year? Have you decorated it? Did you decorate it? Yeah.

Okay, that's fine. Yeah. We go without, shall we? Oh, yeah. When she's busy. Just ask the school one day. Just pick up the kids, go straight there and get a because you can't

no returns right no returns yeah oh no sorry this one doesn't fit can you please take back this tree that's gonna die I'll help

I'll be like Sade fancy getting a little rosé I need a chat chat I've got some goss girl she'll love that she'll be like yes please

and I'll be like ah let's not go to bed I was like come to mine she'll know you're gonna ask before you even ask that's how much she'll love it I'll be like Ah let's not go to the park I was like come to mine She'll know you're going to ask Before you even ask That's how much she'll love it I'll be like shut up She'll rate her

I'm on my way Funny love I was already driving to your house And then Perfect She'll get home And I'll give her enough drinks So that she won't care

That there's a 12 foot tree In her house That's what we ask Love it A big fat Because also the taller they get The fatter they get at the bottom Yeah good stuff Bushy I want it to take up Half the taller they get, the fatter they get at the bottom. Yeah, good stuff.

Bushy. I want it to take up half the lounge and be so big that when we get home, we didn't realise it had a possum looming in it. Yeah, perfect. And you've got to maybe get out your chainsaw and cut just a little. Shave the back half off. So that you can see the TV. Yeah.

Yeah. A little noise. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Flesh, Fawn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. Going on a break in a relationship Yes or no? I've never done it I've never officially break in a relationship. Yes or no? I've never done it. I've never officially been in a relationship and said, let's take a break.

Let's part ways. Right. It seems like everybody's got a different idea of what it entails too. Does it mean you're just having time apart? Does it mean you're sleeping with different people? Yeah. If that option arises. I mean, there's the famous Ross and Rachel Friends story arc.

We were on a break. Apparently Sabrina Carpenter and Barry, do you say, is it Kogan? arises. I mean, there's the famous Ross and Rachel Friends story arc. Apparently Sabrina Carpenter and Barry do you say, is it Kogan? But it's Keogh. It's the Irish, eh? It's about the same as Phil Keegan. Keegan? No, it's Phil Kogan, Barry Keegan. Yeah, that's why I get confused because some people say it different.

Do you know what? Side note, there was a list of the most mispronounced words of the year. Espresso was one because everyone's been like, isn't that me, Espresso? There's no X. One of them was his last name. Barry's last name. Yeah, Kogan.

Let me, I'm going to get it phonetically. Barry Keoghan. Keoghan. Keoghan. So you do go Keoghan. So what, we've all been saying it wrong. We've been saying Kogan or Keoghan. Right. Keoghan. Keoghan. So you do go Keoghan. So what, we've all been saying it wrong. We've been saying Kogan or Keoghan. Right.

Keoghan. Okay, well, I mean, we don't really know what's going on with them. Well, they're on a break. Because they're celebrities and they don't really publicly tell us. No, they're on a break. Apparently, just the schedule. They're both very, very busy. I get that thing.

If you had a busy schedule, you're both just going to be like, hey, I'm just going to let you off the hook for a bit no pressure from each other that's why you broke up with Katy Perry because she was always touring yeah that's right it was hard man

she could never get here and then she wrote firework about me people don't know that maybe you're a firework people don't know but that's about Vaughn that is about me

yeah it's a little pile going on a break in a relationship 92% of people said no. 8% of people said yes. No, but 100% of us agree that when you come back together from the break, restart the clock. Yes. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Erica says, oh my God, what about when people go on a break, then post a soppy happy six years post? I'm all like, no, no, no. Yes. No, no, no. I always want to comment, what about that year when you were off hooking up with other people?

Makes no sense. Restart the clock. Yeah. No, Erica, we're on board here at the show. Just tell me you want to sleep with other people and break up with me, says noobs. Yeah. That's all a break really is, right?

They want to test the waters, see if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and then probably realise it wasn't and then they'll come crawling back. What if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and then probably realise it wasn't and then they'll come crawling back. What if the grass is Sudanese? There's a lot to be said about a Sudanese fescue.

It's a lovely grass. It's short, it's thick, it's low maintenance. It's actually a very long, thick grass now that I think about it. You've actually got a lovely back lawn. You do, so you enjoy your back lawn. I've got a nice back lawn. It's not from Sudan, but it's, you know, it's still nice.

Not your front lawn, that's mossy. We'll talk about that another day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full of daisies. Full of daisies. LH said, I was a big no for this, yet here I am. So it feels like on a break. She's on a break.

Oh, wow. Okay. I'd love to know the details of it. What are the like on a break. She's on a break. Oh wow, okay. Yeah, I'd love to know the details of it, eh? Like what are the rules in your break? Because it'll be different for everyone.

If you need a break just end it. If it's meant to be it'll always come back. Just a break is asking for a mess. To me if you break up

no one knows anybody anything, right? But if you're on a break, there's obligations. It does feel messy. That's a good call there, Sarah. Tell her. Nathan said, going on a break is just a teamer version of breaking up. Okay.

Yeah. Low budget. It's a breaking up waiting room. Yeah, it's breaking up light. Steph said, absolutely for it. My partner and I did it. Set rules, agreed time frame, respect and trust each other through the process. Ten years and two kids later, we've only gone from strength to strength.

Oh, that's nice. I want to know when the break happened. Yeah. Did it happen early? Surely not with kids on the scene. One of my close friends married, three kids, you know, lovely life together. They took a break for travel reasons. They always knew that their hearts were like, you know, lovely life together. They took a break for travel reasons.

They always knew that their hearts were like, you know, that you're the one, but like, I've got to travel. And then the other one was like, I don't want to. I can't do that. Were they allowed to sleep with hot Italians? Yes. Oh, okay. Wow. That's outside of travel for me.

That's if you want to travel, we don't need to go on a break. If I don't want to travel, you go travel. So I'm going to go abroad for a year and not shag anyone. Yeah. He hasn't been to Italy. He hasn't been to Italy, don't worry. You need to get to Italy, quick stat, bro, and see what's happening over there.

Sam doesn't understand. Oh, I'm just not supposed to shag these guys, am I? Oh, sure. Oh, you two. Okay. You need the Lord. I don't think you're quite confident. You need the Lord.

I'm going to splash a little holy water on these sin and fools. You need the Lord. I don't think you're quite compering. You need the Lord. I'm going to splash a little holy water on these sin and fools. You need the Lord. Speak a little Latin. No, excuse me, no holy water near the electronic desk. Yeah. Sorry, this is just

a technical issue. If you can't receive your holy water. That means the desk was possessed by a devil. Okay. Victoria says, not after what

rostered to Rachel. Yeah. And Rose said, I voted no, but thinking about it, I've got two sets of friends now both married with children who broke up for a year.

No, they broke up for a year. They broke up. They didn't go on a pre-ordained break. So I guess if it works, it works. Said Rose, but that's the little poll. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what

one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. If I have sex with the podcast,

I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review though.