ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th June 2023

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Hamilton Gardens  Top 6: Hot Guinea Pigs  When did you make a kid cry?  Dame Aunty Smith  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Good Lord, it's a little nippy today. Well, not in the studio. It's warm in the studio.

I'd say it's a balmy Fijian 22. Oh, God. Fijian Island 22. Yeah, it feels like a castaway 22, doesn't it? It does. Oh, yes. I've got my electric blanket throw on my lap. Is that cold?

It's really frosty over here. Last week, broadcasting from the Airbnb for the great Cookie Kiwi Bake Off. Cookie Kiwi Bake Off, that's right. Fantastic. Yeah. What's this week? Cookie Week? Well, it's a mixture of things. Ohaf week. It's a mixture of things.

Oh, okay. It's a lot of weeks. Yeah, I haven't brought you guys any treats. I know. I was telling someone this. You don't need to tell me. Yeah. You brought me treats, Vaughan, actually.

Yes. Did you? What did you drop off? Well, Aaron came over to Vaughan's house, and then Aaron turned up with five packages that have been delivered to work. By the way, there's something really strange on the way. I'm kind of hoping that I'm

already back in the office by the time it arrives. But also bought me a parcel of meat cooked by Vaughan. Oh, wow. Some meat. And the Josh Emmett scallop potatoes. Did you eat the Josh Emmett scallop potatoes? That's where they were at. And also, Fletch, quite a schwanky garlic bread.

My goodness. But not better than Mama Fia Rally's. It was just a different eating experience. Yeah, it's a whole other... Did you make your own? No. Well, we got fresh bread, and then I made the butter, the garlic. Oh, nobody's got time for that.

It's very easy. It was really delicious. But as I say, I'm not comparing. You get to say how much butter and garlic goes on it. Oh, see, I like that. Yeah. Because, yeah, Mamma Fia Raleigh's a bit liberal sometimes, a bit conservative rather.

Yeah, very conservative. With the garlic. Yeah. Pump it up, pump it up, pump it up. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, top six ways to spot a sexy guinea pig. The sexy guinea pig show was on in Otago at the weekend. Okay.

It's the people taking along their guinea pigs. Yes. And comb them and brush them up. Yep. Make them look sexy. People are still showing guinea pigs. Okay. Apparently as popular as ever. Like a cat or a dog show. Correct. People are still showing guinea pigs. Okay. Apparently as popular as ever.

Like a cat or a dog show. Correct. Okay. But with jinnier pigs. Jinnier pigs, yeah. I've still got the top six ways to know you've got a sexy guinea pig. Next on the show, well, it was announced Friday, IKEA is officially happening.

It's being built. Sylvia Park in Auckland. Where in Sylvia Park? They're behind. That's not big enough. No, they're behind it. Oh, so they've built some industrial area. Yeah, they've bought a whole lot of the industrial land

and it'll be IKEA there. Gotcha. So getting off that exit at the motorway will take another extra half an hour, I'd say now. It's a no from me. It's a no, it's a no. But timely, there's something else that IKEA have announced that we want to talk about next on the show.

Yeah. Because you have to put everything together. Yeah. It's all flat pack stuff. And this is a bit different to a wobbly desk. Or a wobbly bookshelf. Yeah. Do you still need an Allen key?

You will want to send in an Allen key. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, if you love death traps, this is for you. IKEA's flat pack that we talked about just before, while I'm not reluctant but hesitant, sometimes if there's a wobble in the TV cabinet to put my beloved TV atop it,

this would involve you putting your beloveds in it. It's a flat pack car. So the Ikea flat pack is going to be an EV. It's going to cost $11,000 American. And yeah, you will literally build your own car like you would.

Surely you'd need a qualification of sorts. It would 100% need some sort of check over by... Because you'd have to get a WAF, right, after you put it together? Or would it come with one? No, no, no. Because it's new. You'd have to go and get one.

And this is also not anywhere apart from Sweden at the moment. Right, okay. Because for those that don't know, Ikea, and we're getting one, as we mentioned, whenever it's finished, I'd imagine what, a year away, you buy all your furniture, and then it's all you're picking up at the end. Yeah. And it's all flat pack.

Like, you've got to build everything. And then you get a divorce. Yeah. You scream. You fight. You've got to work out who's getting the three leftover screws and the Allen key. And you put those in a little bag, and you put those in a little bag and you put those in a drawer

and you leave that for about 10 years. Yeah. And then one day you go, what were these for? Because it's an ugly looking thing too, isn't it? It is so horrendous. It looks like one of those little things kids sit in and you push them around the park in. It is called a Lovely.

That's the brand. Lovely. Top speed, 90 kilometres an hour. It is called a Lovely. That's the brand. Lovely. Top speed, 90 kilometres an hour. It looks like a fridge freezer, so I don't know if it's going to stand up. It's got to obviously have some sort of structural safety. But that's faster than the Jimny, isn't it?

Well, yeah, that's at least 10k faster than the Jimny. Well, the Jimny can go 100, but I like to drive at 90. No, Hayley says you never go over 80. Wait, that's because you need to put undue stress on the engine. I literally put the pedal to the metal and it wouldn't move. Oh, this car is horrendous. Up to 100 kilometres before it needs a charge.

Easy swap out battery. 100 k's, it's nothing. I'd barely get to work and back. Yeah, and then you just chuck it on the charge when you get home, I guess. Oh, so it's kind of an inner-city car, really. It's not very long distance. It weighs about 400 kilograms. Oh, you'd get blown off the

Harbour Bridge. Oh, you wouldn't go to the Harbour Bridge. Well, add yourself into the mix. That adds about, you know, a few more K. Oh, yeah, you don't want to get in there. That's horrible. Oh, yeah. You don't want to. You get in there and it's like, oh, no. Overload.

Yeah, but what if you've got four people in there? Oh, you can't. Two max. I don't think. And then you're nearly. You'd be more than the car. Yeah. What were those little bubble cars that you see around? Did Mercedes make the smart cars?

The A class. Yes. Yeah. Kind of like that. How embarrassing. Those were cool. Were they? Yeah, Yes. Yeah. Kind of like that. How embarrassing. Those were cool. Were they? Yeah, those ruled.

Because they could park anywhere. Oh, yeah. And so they could shoot through little gaps. Yeah, you didn't have to parallel park them because you'd literally drive straight in. Yeah. And you wouldn't be longer than a car would be sideways. Nah, yeah, that ruled. Smart cars, they were cool all day, but they were...

You say they're cool, Vaughan, but would you drive one? Yeah. Again, it probably does go faster than the Jimny. What if people see you? At least I'd be rude. That's alright. They can wave and I would wave to them back. Oh, I'd have to wear a disguise. And the smart car. You wouldn't borrow Vaughan's car. It's so funny, anytime I see one, I'm always

like, where's the rest of your car? Yeah. Did it fall off? Yeah, how embarrassing for you. Oh, they do an electric one now. Oh, do they? Yeah. Because you see the odd one around, but you used to see them a lot more. I guess people just got embarrassed. Sort of sitting at about, oh, there's a 2013 one here for $13,000.

Okay. I'm just looking on Trade Me. You know, $12,500. Seems a bit much. Seems a bit much. For a little zippy little car. Looks like it'd cost like $20 to fill too. Well, they do a full-blown electric one now,

and they're a little bit more expensive. What's the safety rating on them? Because I feel like if you got bloody rear-ended in a, you know, nose to tail. Yeah. Oh, you'd probably just roll over, I think. Well, there is no kind of nose or tail on that, is there? No. You are the nose and the tail.

And the tail, yeah. It's a seat on wheels. But I don't know what the safety rating is on this Swedish flat pack situation. 13 past six. Next on the show. There's been a study done about our meat-eating habits. Plenty of mince in the fridge. Oh, always. I've actually got mince in the fridge. Oh, always.

I've actually got mince in the fridge. I'm excited about it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Lincoln University, they've done a big old study about meat-eating in New Zealand and our habits. And do you know, so still, 93% of New Zealanders eat meat.

Yeah, I thought that would be maybe a bit lower, right? Or are you surprised? No, yeah, I thought it would be a little bit lower. All the hippy dippies. I feel like vegans, they're so outspoken. It feels like there's more of them. It's always the vocal minority. You've always got to take that into account with any sort of opinion, don't you?

Yeah. If people are being really loud, you're like, how many are there actually versus... Yeah, well, 10 apparently. Yeah, 10. So the majority of us are still eating meat. However, the amount of eat we're eating collectively as a country has gone down.

You said the amount of eat we're eating. Eat we're eating. Yeah. Yeah. The amount of eat we're meeting has gone down since 2021. Do they say why that is? Because I feel that's less of a we feel bad about eating meat and more of a it's so effing expensive.

So they looked at what was important to people about why they ate meat. The most important factor was that it was delicious. Yeah, that's pretty yum. 70% of people said that they eat meat because it yum. Yeah. And then it kind of worked out what they cared about with their meat. It has to be yum.

The next thing they cared about was that it had to be fresh. The next thing was that only 28.9% of meat eaters cared about animal welfare certification and only 16.9% of meat eaters cared about environmental footprint. One of the main causes for people limiting the amount of meat that they're eating a week, money. So it is, yeah, is yeah right yeah we don't care about the chickens or anything else but by the sounds of that we want to eat delicious fresh meat but we want it to be a bit cheaper so people are cutting it out and now there's so many more alternatives i guess you know people know that those were, Carween, you are a vegetarian, not a vegan.

Vegetarian. I always get that. Yeah. Yeah. Vegetarian. You're saying that, excuse me, the alternatives. He's emotional. I'm getting emotional about the man.

Yeah, it's hard to understand. You're saying the alternatives aren't cheap. Yeah, no, they're still quite expensive. And I feel like you possibly get less in a package of, say, fake chicken than maybe like a few chicken breasts. Yeah, like if you buy, it's always like 250 grams of fake chicken as opposed to like 500 grams of chicken thighs. Chicken's still what we're eating the most, by the way.

I was going to say, have we got a ranking on the most popular meats? It goes chicken with a third of meals being chicken. Beef, just down from that. Wait, is luncheon on the list? Yep. Under miscellaneous. Fish is just under beef. It goes chicken, beef, then fish.

Pork just under that. Lamb just under that. That's a shame. We live in a bloody country that's built on lamb. It's so expensive, though. And also, if you get lamb wrong, it's bloody chewy Huey Lewis. And processed meat at 7% of our meals. Yes, processed meat. Luncheon is on the list.

I'm so happy about that. Would that include your hams? Because, God, I eat a lot of ham. I thought they would have fallen to pork products. Well, no. What ham are you eating? Are you eating a shaved ham or a luncheon? Pack a shave.

Pack a shave. Oh, that's under deli. That's under pork. No, that's deli meat. Miscellaneous. No, it's a pork product. It's literally a shaved ham. It's not a processed luncheon like you or...

No, but it is processed, isn't it? It's processed to all hell. A champagne shaved ham is a leg of ham that's been cooked that's shaved. That's really thinly cut. Yeah. But I reckon it'd be under the last one. It'd be under the deli. How do they get it cut in perfect circles like that?

Because I love that. Round pigs. Yeah. Perfectly round pigs. Perfectly round pigs. Spherical pigs. Great advances in spherical pigs of late. We're not asking too many questions,

according to this study. No, apparently we don't care. We're all living in ignorant bliss. Yeah. Yeah. About that. Play it. CDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little silly daddy, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole watching a movie, couch or cinema.

This might surprise you, but I voted cinema for a movie. I mean, it's a movie, doesn't it? Yeah, you get the big screen. Yeah. And cinemas have really stepped it up. They've got, like, even sky beds. I don't know, what do they call them? Day beds.

Day beds, yeah. They're right down the front, though, so you more or less have to be horizontal to see the screen when you're that close. Yeah. But most chairs recline now. Yeah, they've made cinema seats amazing. Yeah.

I haven't been to the movies for so long. I went to the Fast and Fast X one but other than that actually just out on my own whim for ages Covid sort of stuffed it for me because they were just spaces you couldn't go into I don't know there's something

there's certain movies you've got to see on a big screen you want to see Spiderman the new Sp-Man, the animated one. Oh, my God, so good. And the sound, amazing. That's the other good thing.

I love a rumbly sound. Yeah. I love that You can't go too high. That sound system really... Really cranks the Mr. Brightside, doesn't it? That sound system of yours. It loves the Mr. Brightside. It does. I remember still the feeling of going to the embassy in Wellington and watching the first Lord of the Rings film.

And I went to the bathroom and the whole place was like rumbling because they had that like groundbreaking sound system. Yeah. I think there are certain films... I watched Avatar, the very first Avatar on a small laptop screen and people were so upset

with me. That's exactly how James Cameron wanted you to see it. Well, he needs to take those things into consideration. Did you like it? No.

No, not for me either, which surprises people. I haven't even bothered. I haven't seen the second one. I've never seen a single one. Yeah. Blue Sm single one. Yeah. Blue Smurfs.

Yeah. Silly little poll. Watching a movie, couch or cinema? Couch takes it out 83%. Oh, people would. It's cozy. Side up on the couch. It's your space, isn't it?

It's nice. In the cinema. Bra off. Yeah. Taylor says, can pause for toilet or snack break plus PJs and not having to leave the house yeah I can dig it and now

most people have a good TV don't they like a big TV yeah much more so than back in the day yeah Caitlin says

my attention span is too small for the couch I've got to be in the cinema otherwise I won't pay attention that's right they deprive you of all the other sensors and the interruptions

don't they yeah and it's also rude to be on your phone, isn't it? So most people don't. Yeah, and you've got to run to the toilet real quick. Vaughn will get on his phone, though, because sometimes he wants to know who the actor is, so he goes on IMDb.

I can't help myself. Yeah. I'll take a quiet moment and just check who that actor was because I know them from somewhere. Yeah. Bryce, who sent us this while in quiet mode, apparently. Okay. The screencast says Bryce in quiet mode.

The couch because I can have a nap. You're missing the movie. You're not watching a movie. You're having a nap. He'd be the kind of person that wakes up and then says, what have I missed? That's not my job to fill you in. Piss off, Bryce.

Alex says, can't eat noisy snacks in a cinema without feeling self-conscious. Or have you just learned to eat a little quieter? Yeah. Sounds like. Kyle, going to the cinema costs a goddamn fortune these days. Unless it's to watch a movie like Avatar. Oh, he likes Avatar. Oh, he likes Avatar.

Well, you need that cinema experience to get the full experience. Yeah, he's talking about like your big Hollywood blockbusters. Hayley says, you can take your bra off. That's another Hayley who said bra off. It's a Hayley thing, isn't it? Bra off at home. Hayley's hate wearing bras. Yeah, across the board. I have to watch movies at cinema if I'm at home, I can't sit through

a movie, there's too many distractions. Oh yeah. And Dawn says I can scroll on my phone or crochet all I want and I don't have to deal with other people if I watch at home. Crochet in the cinema? Bring it with you. It'd be lovely, actually. Oh, unless the needles were tapping.

Oh, you'd have to, yeah. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I'm crocheting up a storm over here. So there you go. You can watch it at home. You can watch it in the cinema. Do what you want. Now, we went to Hamilton Gardens, didn't we? Do what you want. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Now, we went to Hamilton Gardens, didn't we? Last time we were in Hamilton. Beautiful. And it's beautiful. It's absolute Instagram bait. Like, they knew what they were doing. Yeah, but remember the robotic trees didn't have any green on them,

and so we could just see all the mechanics. Oh, yeah, the vines were doing so super great in there. Yeah. And I got a photo pushing the giant were doing so super great in there. Yeah. And I got a photo pushing the giant door, and I look real little. Yeah. You say it's Instagram bait, but for centuries, gardens have done their best to be attractive. Sort of what they do, isn't it? Yeah.

No, gardens are Instagram bait, but the things, like the giant spade and the giant door and all the, they knew. They knew. They knew what they were doing. Well, the next move is to start charging people. Non-Hamiltonians over the age of 16 are going to be charged to go to the Hamilton Gardens. Guess how much?

Gold coin. See, I thought it might have been five gold coin or five. Five dollars. It's five. Five dollars. It's more. Ten dollars. It's more. Ooh, now I'm out. Twenty.

Twenty bucks per person. See, I mean, it's amazing, but I don't know if I'm... Yeah. So the three of us would be $60, whereas we could just pop down to the pub, get a nice cold bottle of Prosecco and hang out and enjoy the view around that. Yeah. I know where I'd rather put my money. Where you're investing.

I mean, if you were a tourist, you'd pay it because it's amazing. Yes. And if maybe you hadn't been before, you might pay it because it is amazing. But it's a lot of money. But don't you just wander in? Like, where are they going to put these?

Well, no, because it is enclosed. You walk through the gate, so I guess they'll just put it on the gate. There is kind of like the facilities there, there's an office. Easily whack in a ticket. I could do it if you've got some 4x2 and some time. Put in a box office. We could whack up a little box office. Piece of cake.

Are they in need of money? Well, it's not cheap to run and it's all rates funded through council rates. But then, like, wouldn't you want everybody to go and for it to be free, and then people can, I don't know, turn up on Instagram and your city looks great? Yeah.

But, I mean, I guess it is costing a fortune. Yeah, but then, yeah, it has to make its own money. It has to make a bit of its own money, you know? So they're saying $20. There's 18 gardens, 18 amazing and unique gardens, and Hamiltonians still get in for free because they pay rates. Right, so you've just got to prove you're a local. Yeah.

Can we use? Well, Mum and Dad do. They live matamata piako, but I'm pretty sure they do an environment like it. What, are they going to stiff you on that? Yeah. We could just Photoshop a rates bill. Yeah.

It's a lot of effort to go into it. Yeah, it's a lot of effort. I don't know, $20, I want to see some penguins or some wildlife. Yeah. We're getting up to Kelly Tarleton's price. Well, that's what, Well, no, that's... How much is Kelly Tarleton's?

The last time I went to Kelly Tarleton's, I was like, that might be the last time for a while. I was like 10, I think, the last time I went. I've never been to Kelly Tarleton's. Drink and no sharks. Like a real little kid

that I can't remember. I remember it... Is there still a big convey about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're still going there. A big convey about. Oh, we should go. $36 per adult online

Okay A flexible ticket Meaning you could buy it To go anytime $45 And there's a hole in the glass You can pat the shark say I think for that price

You get fish and chips at the end You get to pick which one Do you? Yeah Oh yeah like choosing a lobster I'd love to go We should go for a little Show trip

Because then it's a business expense. Yeah, can we get a family pass? I'm the kid. I don't want to. Yeah, okay. I don't know how many this entitles you to. It just says family admission. So maybe that's the trick.

We'll rock up. We'll put you in a pram. We are family. Yeah. And I'll go underneath it and just my head will be up with a little doll's body. Actually, you've got the most hair out of all of us on your face. Yeah, well, I'm a hairy baby. Yeah, you might be better to play dad.

Okay, I can do dad. Or baby. I'm versatile. Or Hayley's got the acting degree, so maybe Hayley's the baby. I could drop into baby. Yeah. I, I, I, I. Yeah, that's perfect.

That's perfect. That's it. Family pass. There we go. I think we've just saved people some money. Yeah. With that idea. Family pass.

Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. The guinea pig show, the Otago guinea pig show was on the weekend. How did we miss this? I know.

This is massive news. So dumb. That's so dumb. No offense to guinea pig owners, but they're a dumb pet. They are the worst. They eat them in Peru. Peru. Why did I give that the...

Is that how you say it? Like Peru. Peru. Peru. Peru. No, that's the guy with the mortgages. Peru. Peru. Why did I give that the... Is that how you're supposed to say it? Like Peru. Peru. Peru. Peru. No, that's the guy with the mortgages. Peru. No, that's Peru.

The country. They ate them there, don't they? Yeah, that is a national delicacy. Yeah. Delicious. Not a lot of meat on the bones. I feel like guinea pigs just die. You know my friends have guinea pigs.

They're like, go outside one day. Are they the ones that die when they get a shock? Yeah, a fright like a rabbit. Oh, right. So you couldn't be in Wellington and travel down to the Dunedin guinea pig show. No, you probably could, but you'd just have to take your time. A luxury vehicle. Maybe you're driving along in a car toots and your guinea pig, your prized guinea pig is dead.

You've got to get him his little noise-cancelling headphones. Okay. Little bozos. You know what I mean? Little bozos. Ah, well I mean? Little bozes. Well, a whole lot of guinea pigs won. Oh. Timaru-based club president, Josh, 15.

Wow. He's 15 years old. President of the club. The Timaru-based club president, Josh Wilson-Jones, 15, bought 20 guinea pigs. Is that in case a few die? No, he had them all for different categories. Well, this seems wildly unfair.

He's got 20. Claremont Gingerbread was one of the long-haired guinea pigs he was entering. Okay. Oh, wow. Born last Christmas, the guinea pig had never had a haircut. Okay. Its long hair had been wrapped in sections to keep it clean, but before the show, it was time to blow dry and comb out.

I'm just wanting to have a look. I just want to have a look. There's photos of them combing it. It looks like Donald Trump's hair. It looks like Donald Trump's head. It does. It looks like a guinea pig would sit upon Donald Trump's head. Should have called it Donald Trump.

For the full... For ambient. Well, I've got the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig. Right. So you might, if you spot a hot guinea pig, put it in the next show. You would grab the guinea pig. And put it in a show. And blow wave it and comb it and put it in the next show.

Okay. Number six on the list. It exudes confidence. Yeah. Because confidence is sexy. Yeah. Yeah, confidence is sexy. You don't want a mech guinea pig.

No, you want a sexy guinea pig. Hiding away in the corner. You want a bad boy guinea pig. Yeah. Yeah, confidence is sexy. You don't want a mech guinea pig. No, you want a sexy, sexy guinea pig. Hiding away in the corner. You want a bad boy guinea pig. Yeah. Yeah. It's got a strut. Oh, it's got a strut, all right. Yeah.

And it pulls up on a little motorcycle. Leather jacket on. Yeah. Kicks down the thing, hops off. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Whatever noise it makes. Hot guinea pig. Hot guinea pig.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig. Empathy. It's an empathetic. That's beautiful. You know, it knows. It might not be going through what you're going through, but it can understand where you're coming from. Yeah, it's hot.

It shows you empathy. Puts a caring paw on your shoulder during hard times. That's sexy. Sexy guinea pigs. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig.xy guinea pigs. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig. The guinea pig is generous. Not only with its finances

because these winning guinea pigs are rolling in cash. Yeah. Do they win cash? Yeah, cash. Oh no, one of those guys got 20 of them. Well, he wants these spread in his bets. Yeah. But you know, they're generous with their clean hay. They'll let you have a go on the little drinking straw.

Or they go... And tongue the little ball so that the water comes out and they go... It's generous because generosity is sexy. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig. They're a great listener. Yeah. You know, they don't always...

Listening's sexy. Yeah. They don't always have to have great listener. Yeah. You know, they don't always... It's sexy. Yeah. They don't always have to have a story. Yeah. Sometimes they can just sit and listen. Mm. And then encourage you. Yeah.

And at the end, you really feel like that guinea pig's taken a bit of the load. Yeah. And that's sexy. It's sexy to listen. Number two on the list of the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig, brave. Yeah. Wow. You want someone to be brave, don't you? Brave, courageous.

Not afraid to speak up. Yeah. Defender of the meek. Yeah. A brave, sexy guinea pig. And number one on the top six ways to spot a hot guinea pig? Looks hot in its togs. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. That guinea pig's packing it. It's packing it all in. Hot pair of swimmers. I mean, you're guaranteed a winner in the swimwear section. At the next Otago show.

Absolutely. Put them in their little togs. Yeah. That is today's sub six. I'm actually trying to remember the last time I was properly hit on. And I... It's actually been quite remember the last time I was properly hit on and it's actually been quite a while and I don't mean just like Instagram pests because that's a constant.

They're out there pesting I'd like to talk to an Instagram pest. What's your success rate? Yeah. I know. I remember when people say like I want to do this and you're like okay. Cool man. Definitely come around and cool, man. Yeah, definitely. Come around and suck my feet.

That sounds great. Like, yeah. I mean, all anybody has ever had to do is ask. I know. Well, producer Carween, who not only has a heart of gold, but is also a 10 out of 10 hottie, she got hit on. Carween. I'm really, like, loving these compliments. Because you're just a queen. That's why we call you Carween. Well, Vaughn and I aren't getting these compliments, are we? a queen that's why we aren't getting

these compliments are we well you famously don't enjoy them i don't want them there's awkward yeah but maybe just one a day okay flitch no not now it's got to be a surprise like i've asked for this it's a bit awesome i just gotta catch you off guard it's a you've got to catch me off guard. You've got to catch me off guard. Okay. Yeah. Alright, gorgeous. Boo! Stop it. Carween, tell us what happened. Okay, so last week obviously we had our little radio awards and as us girls do

when we get dressed up, we have a full on photo shoot. Yep. So Friday morning I post a couple pics. I'll say it, I look cute. You look hot. 10 out of 10. I was fishing, I'll be cute. Okay. Hot. Thank you. 10 out of 10. I was fishing. I'll be honest. Okay, great.

And I see that I have a message request in my DMs on Instagram. These are usually, Hi, sweetie. How would you feel about $5,000? Yeah. Scam. I want a sugar baby. Yeah.

Again, like what is the success rate for those? Well, those are usually scams. I'm pretty sure. So I feel like they must work every so often. Again, like what is the success rate for those, eh? Well, those are usually scams, I'm pretty sure. So I feel like they must work every so often. But this one is a profile that has like a cartoon picture. Yeah. Sort of thing.

And it's replying to my post saying, allow me to respectfully take you out for dinner, brackets, pitter-pitter or something due to cost of living. Hey, ain't nothing wrong with a pitter-pitter, but good lord. That's kind of funny. You've got to give them that. It's kind of funny. It's creative and it's fun and I appreciated it.

I love that straight out the gate. Rather than flirting and then saying, hey, can I take you out for dinner? Maybe pitter-pitter because of the cost of living crisis. They just went straight in being like, you're gorgeous. I want I take you out for dinner? Maybe Pitter Pit because of the cost of living crisis. They just went straight in being like, you're gorgeous. I want to take you to Pitter Pit. Yeah, they're laying their cards on the table and I appreciate that.

Now, I don't know anything about this person. They don't have many followers or don't follow many people. They're private. It's a spam bot, isn't it? No. No. It could be. I just got great news for him.

I just made your date half cheaper because I got sent a Peter Pit voucher last week and you can have that. Wow, thank you so much. So you tell him, take me for dinner, but I'll pay my own way. I'm an independent woman. And then bust out this voucher

that has to specifically be for one type of Peter Pit. Did you bring this up to your boyfriend? I did. And you know what? You all were laughing about it. My friends were like, oh, that's great. You know what? He didn't love it too much.

Did he? Oh, my God. I love it when people flirt with Aaron. It's so fun. Yeah, no, he was like, wait, what the hell? Yeah, when was the last time he took you out for a poorly wrapped wrap, though? When he took you out for a wrap, the minute you started taking it out of the thing,

there was too much sauce in it, and the whole thing structural integrity just blew out. Way too much iceberg lettuce. Oh, yeah. Don't pack it up with the shitty, crunchy bit of the bottom of a cospid of lettuce. The white bit. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, look, maybe. Maybe I need to rethink. That's got to feel good. That's got to feel good. Yeah. That's got to feel good.

When was the last time you guys were hit on? I don't know. I also feel like I would be, unless it was very obvious, I'd be blissfully unaware. I'd just think someone was being nice. Yeah. It'd have to be dinner level inquiries for me to say, I don't know how my wife would feel about that.

Yeah. Otherwise, but what about you, Fletch? Oh, I can't remember. Oh, your phone just buzzed probably then? It's so long. That's probably it right there. Yeah, it's gone. That was a dry spell for her.

Oh, buddy. Don Juan over here too. Absolute lies. Next on the show. No, before we go into the next break, I just want to say, Fletch, you were just looking so beautiful today. Oh, was that the compliment

that I definitely didn't ask for before? It was. Yeah, thank you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, we dive into the world of Reddit. A Reddit post. I love Reddit. And yesterday somebody posting a half open packet of the candy

squiggles. You know, they brought back the candy squiggles. The green and pink ones. The green and pink ones. The green and pink ones. The Hokey Pokey squiggle still, my top biscuit in the whole of the country. It's my number one. So good. Put them in the freezer or the fridge, and so they're really hard, and then eat them all, the whole packet.

Is it a Tim Tam, though? No. It doesn't beat a Tim Tam. It does, but it does beat a Tim Tam. It does not. So a Tim Tam's better doesn't or it does beat a Tim Tam. It does not. So a Tim Tam's better then? No, a squiggle's better. No, you just said it does not beat a Tim Tam.

It does beat a Tim Tam. It does beat a Tim Tam. Yeah, but you said it does not beat a Tim Tam. This is why I'm very confused now as to your standings. Number one, a Tim Tam does not beat a squiggle. Okay. A squiggle is, okay, well in the trash. A Tim Tam does not beat a squiggle. Okay. A squiggle is, okay, well, it does now because you're about to tell everybody that these have come back.

Well, no, wait. So somebody has posted on Reddit a picture of this half open packet. And how would you describe that squiggle, Vaughn? Half ass. Half ass. Like the pink icing was running out. It looks smaller. The biscuit itself looks smaller.

And there's just no squiggles. These are called squiggles. Yeah. They simply must have squiggles. So people have wondered if there is a bit of shrinkflation going on because one of the comments says they look a lot flatter now. I think they are. I had some maybe like a month ago

and I was like, these are smaller. Did you have the hokey pokey? Why would you bring them back if you're not going to bring them back in their glory? Yeah. Like, don't ruin the nostalgic vibe of a great biscuit when they do these comeback things. Yeah. They half-ass the comeback

and people are like, maybe I don't remember them as well. They're playing us like a harp. It's been a while since I've had a packet, so maybe this is going to make me buy a packet and do my own research. Well, you've got a sore groin, so you probably have to have a biscuit. Have a few rest days from the gym. Rest days, and you know, rest days require biscuits.

Squiggles, yeah, power. That is for sewer. Donate blood and then you can have some biscuits, get squiggles. Yeah, true, true. If you're disappointed, if you just get 500 mils of your finest, then they add that waiting for you at the bicky table. Yeah, you'd want an old school squiggle for sure. Yeah. your finest and they had that waiting for you at the bicky table. Yeah, you'd want an old school squiggle for sure. What were those ones that were like a circle with a hole in the middle?

Shrewsbury. No, no, no, no, no. The hole was bigger and it had a squiggle decoration on top and chocolate on the other and you'd put them on your finger. Stripes? Were they like a hundreds and thousands biscuit, eh? We have them on the set of Bake Off in the little mini bags. Stripes, you're right. They're called stripes.

Okay. I bet they aren't as good as they used to be either. And what do you reckon the icing on dinosaurs is like? It wouldn't go to the sides. It's probably just not. Dry.

Everything now is just, it's scaled back, it's shrunk down. I reckon it's dry and it's thin. And you know, because if you got like the dinosaurs or the animal biscuits with the icing on one side, you could lick it dry and it's thin. And, you know, because if you got, like, the dinosaurs or the animal biscuits with the icing on one side, you could lick it and make it real shiny. Yeah.

You'd lick the icing and you'd make it super shiny. Gloss it up. Yeah. And then you'd be like, now that's a posh biscuit. Om nom nom nom. Well, yeah, I mean, this post, people are just saying, yeah, they reckon they've gone downhill. We'll await Griffin's response.

I'll still eat them. I'm still going to eat them. They're the number one tasting, Bicky. Imagine if you were quality control of the biscuit factory and you're walking around and you're like, more stripes, and they're like, accounting have said no. We can't, I'd be like, I don't give a goddamn what accounting has said. We're going to sell way more with more stripes.

It's a quarter economy of scale, and I had a full-blown screaming match with an accountant. That's the thing. This could just be a rogue packet where the stripes aren't as thick, or maybe the icing was running out and they just let them through. Well, that's why I'm running quality control. There'll be no rogue packets. Oh, we're going to need to get a few packets.

Yeah, maybe go to, like, each supermarket and get a packet and try them. Some different batch numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Run a full, if someone's after a science science, do they still do science fees at school? Oh, my God, yes. I tested what had the highest level of vitamin C. What was that? It was a vitamin C tablet.

What? I mean, the name had the clue. What else did you put up against the vitamin C tablet? I had, like, orange juice, apple juice. Oh, no, these are all. A vitamin C tablet, a Barocca. I can't remember. There was like five things.

How did you test the vitamin C? Did you just read the side of the packet? You do. It was something with iodine and I put iodine in them. Did you do Ribena? And they changed colour compared to, I can't remember what the other ones were. But all I remember is it did quite. Were you working in a group?

It sounded like you weren't doing the heavy lifting. No, no. It was me. It was just on my own. And it was really good and then we had to take it to the regionals and it all went mouldy. Oh. That was embarrassing. And who was at regionals? I mean, you could have re-dropped the iodine. We should do this as a phone-up. What was your science fair

on? Yes, what was your science fair project? Great idea. Yeah, we should do this. Who beat you at regionals? What won? Do you know? I can't remember. I think it was something really advanced about how clouds make rain. Well, you know, Jenny, so newsreader.

Yeah. People will forget she was part of the science fair that took down Ribena. Yes. And that was on vitamin C. So you were so close. Yeah. To being a TV1 newsreader and a national sensation. An absolute overnight teen sensation. Damn it, I missed my opportunity.

The year was 2000. Other things were happening. Y2K, I got distracted. There is a fashion influencer, I think. I don't know. She's some kind of influencer. I don't know what her title is. Yeah.

Anyway, she shared a very funny story on TikTok because she was in Istanbul trying to fly back home to Los Angeles. And when she gave her passport to the passport office in Istanbul they weren't going to let her on because her passport photo looked nothing like her whatsoever. So in the Istanbul airport she's got a bare face just like I am now like hair back, bare face, no makeup, she had baggy trackies on and just comfy for a long flight. Still looking stunning though. Oh my God.

It's easy to give compliments, isn't it? Look at that. That was easy. That was so seamless. It was so seamless, wasn't it? She really liked it. Yeah. Really good from you.

Thank you. What do you want to? I'll have one. No, I think she was meaning to give one. Give one one Oh no now you're coming across a bit needy You look beautiful

and warm in your hat I'll try again I'll try again later Anyway so she was just looking cash but in her passport photo

that she'd taken a couple of years ago she had gone full out like she had a blowout in her hair she'd taken a couple of years ago, she had gone full out. Like, she had a blowout in her hair, she had, like, a fringe all, like, tidy, she had, like, a winged liner, a full

contoured face, lipstick on, and everything. And the ticket, the people at the ticket office were like, no, that's not you, and they suspected her of using someone else's passport. Oh my god. She was like, I've never been so humbled in my life because basically they confirmed me

that I look pretty rough when I don't wear makeup. Yes. And now she's sort of issued, this has had like nearly 10 million views and she's been issuing a warning being like, guys,

calm down with the passport photo stuff. Because it was a trend a while ago, right? If you were getting a driver's license or a passport to go really hot. But a passport, I didn't think internationally I thought the rules for passport was

you can't go too hot. It's not like she's wearing, she's not doing, she's doing what I've done in my passport photo where I look absolutely stunning where she's got a lot, she's kind of like pulled the cheekbones up and you know, she's not breaking any of the smile

rules. She's just got a face on. She's got a full face. I didn't think in New Zealand you could. I thought it had to be. You're allowed to wear makeup. You're allowed to wear. So I'm just looking now about what's acceptable. It doesn't say anything about makeup.

Just that you've got to, you know, do not smile or frown. Show your face clearly with no hair over it. Right. Because like on this, she's got her brows done, right? Like all filled in and nice in the photo. But in real life, she hasn't done the brows. So that changes your face a lot, the brow. The brow

is the curtain of the face. They say as long as it looks natural, the makeup is fine. So yeah. So she, cause she does, like even I can see it. She's got a bit of like uneven skin tone in real life.

How dare she? Yeah. But you know, she just looks like a normal gal. Whereas in the photo, she just looks red hot. Yeah. Have you ever,

when you've been coming back into New Zealand, used the e-gates and the thing doesn't recognize you? And it's like, go to the person. And you're like, ouch e-gates and the thing doesn't recognise you. That's what you don't recognise. Go to the person, you're like, ouch. Because you look like absolute crap after a long haul flight. Do you ever wake up in the morning and you go to unlock your phone and because you're squinting and you're all like, meh.

You're all wrinkled. Oh, the phone's like, not today, hacker. The phone's like, put in your pin number. Does that ever happen? Oh, no. It's not the greatest start to the day. Mine's like if I'm on the toilet when I'm just woken up and I'm like bending down and my face gravity is like pulling forward.

Yeah, it's like, no, you are a Sharpay dog, not a human who owns this phone. Not today, Sharpay dog. It's a rude call from your phone that early in the morning. It really is. It's like, I look that rough, really? Next on the show, someone's made a kid cry. Not us.

It's quite easy, isn't it? Because, God, they're pathetic. They do cry easy. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, we talk now about tennis. I don't know a lot about tennis. It's a fun watch.

Is it? The only thing is when you're at the tennis, you've got to be quiet. And I find that rather hard. Yeah. Was it the ASB Open? Yeah, with my dad. And when I arrived, I wanted to catch up with him because I arrived a bit late. And I wanted to catch up and everyone was like...

So we went out to the bar. Well well the french open is on at the moment now a doubles pair um are under fire because they were playing uh the 16th seeds japan's oh no i don't know how to say either of these two names give it a go japan's uh miyukato and indones Indonesia's Aldelia Sudani? So they were playing together? Yeah, and because they're different countries. Yeah. Yeah, I always thought it was the same. I thought so too.

Well, anyway, they're the 16th seeds, and they were disqualified after one of them had a backhand, a gentle backhand, and it hit the ball girl. Because you know how they stand at the end and they're real straight. What, the racket hit the ball girl or the ball did? No, the ball. Was she dispelling the ball? She's like, I don't need this one.

Whacked it away. And gave it a gentle backhand and hit the ball girl, who was at the other end of the court. But unfortunately the ball, yeah, hit her. And she cried. Have you seen, is it Djokovic? Yeah, he welted one. Welted someone in the face of the ball.

He was packing a shitty and did it. And I think they changed rules after that too because he lashed out and they were... I was going to say, could they give them a cage? But they're so in and out. They skirt, don't they? They're very, yeah. So you couldn't give them a little cage to hide behind

because then they wouldn't be able to get out and get the ball. This feels like an accident, isn't it? And then it's a bit of a scandal because the umpire kind of give them a little cage to hide behind because then they wouldn't be able to get out and get the ball. This feels like an accident, isn't it? And then it's a bit of a scandal because the umpire kind of gave them a warning, but then the other players that they were playing against said, well, they should be disqualified. No. And then they were. Yeah.

They didn't aim the ball at the kid's face. And this poor kid's crying. You know that feeling, eh, where you get whacked in the face? Remember when you were a kid, you'd get whacked or something and you'd try not to cry when you're like... No, it's okay. No, it's okay. Or you'd fall off your skateboard or your bike and you'd be all right

and then you saw blood and you were just like... Or you saw your mum. Your mum's like, ooh! Or if an adult was like, ooh! You'd be like, oh, I know, I'm going to cry! But I thought this morning, could we take some calls? I mean, it could be funny. Have you made a kid cry?

You know, because you might have just said something and maybe they misinterpreted it and they started crying or you accidentally smashed a ball into them. Hit a ball and they got hit. Whacked them. Yeah. Maybe you were playing golf and they were mucking about on the fairway and they shouldn't have been.

Or you nudged one at the supermarket and it starts crying. I mean, it's nothing worse. Or it runs around the corner because kids will run around a corner in a supermarket even though their father has said, do not run in the supermarket. And they'll run face first into a trolley and knock it on their ass and then they'll cry. And then you've kind of got to be like, oh, sorry, but it's not your fault.

I saw somebody once at the airport knee a kid and like the kid came running around and the guy was just walking and he kneed him and the kid went flying across and just was... Because always a very well-polished tiled floor in the airport too, so the kid would just like skid. And the guy was so, he felt so bad, he was so apologetic and you could just see the parents were just like, I once was... Control your child.

I was on a flight and someone, it was like offloading and there was a mum sitting there with like a toddler in her arms and a guy reached into the overhead compartment, pulled out a bag and it fell on them. A toddler that has to have the soft bit on its head? I always freak out. I always forget they have them. When I say toddler, it was young.

And the baby didn't... The fontanelle, is that the soft bit on the head. I always freak out. I always forget they have them. When I say toddler, it was young. Oh, my God. The fontanelle. The fontanelle, is that the soft spot on the head? I don't know. Spongy bit. But, yeah, the baby was like. And more than that, you're like, Mom, why am I in the lowest class at school? And she's like, well, this guy dropped a Samsonite on your head once. Yeah, he was in the hay.

Bloody good suitcase, though. Great hard suitcase. Yeah, really Samsonite. Robbed a lot of time. Yeah. Been through so many recessions. Yeah, his stuff really solid. Yeah, his stuff was fine. Yeah, his stuff was fine. So 0800 DALSATM, give us a call now.

Text through 9696. Have you made a kid cry? A kid that's not yours. Look, we're just having fun, aren't we? Yeah. We want the humorous stories, don't we? We're talking about making children cry, not on purpose. Accidentally making children cry.

Yeah, a ball girl has cried at the tennis at the French Open. Yes. Somebody accidentally backhanded a ball. Maybe they need, you know in the NBA, they wear these like masks to protect their faces sometimes, basketballers. Maybe they need that, the ball people. The ball people.

Why are they wearing masks on their face? Well, some goalkeepers wear them too, don't they? Yeah, goalkeepers and I can understand. Because you're getting a 100-kilometre ball in your face. If they've got a broken nose. Yeah, if they've got a broken nose, take the week, you know. Take the week off. Hard enough and then come back.

Yeah, take a week, sit down, get it all sorted. So why, when did you make your kid cry? Kelly, what happened? Hi, guys. Good morning. Hi. Hi. So I'm a teacher.

Oh, happy. Do you have a teacher's only day today? No, no. Oh, so my kids have got a teacher's only day today. Do they? Oh, fuck. Great thinking from the teachers that attacked us on the end of a long weekend. They've made a four-day weekend.

Yeah, everyone really done well there. That's why I asked, Kelly. I thought you might have done the same. No, it's actually my first day. I came out of having two weeks off from having COVID and ended up being hospitalized. Oh, my God. Is that still around, is it? It turns out it's still a thing.

Oh, my God. Oh my god, your first time and you ended up in hospital Wow Yep Oh, I'm I can't understand a word that you're saying Yeah, your're fine. Your phone's cutting out a little bit, Kelly.

No. Is it your reception? It might be. Do you teach at a rural school? No. I tell you what, we'll wait there. Are you moving or you're in the same place? No, I am moving.

Just give me two minutes. Yeah, we'll pop you on hold and come back, Kelly. Let's go to Fran. Tell you what, live radio, ladies and gentlemen. Isn't it great? Isn't it great? It's a wild west out here. Fran, when did you make a kid cry?

Wow, I can be a little bit immature. I like to bully my children and other people's children. I prefer to call bullying roasting, Fran. It's a lot more acceptable. Gentle roasting. I like to do that. Yeah. So, like, we always take the piss out of the kids.

Anyway, we were at a friend's having a barbecue, and I'd had a few drinks, so I was extra loudy, Fran. And one of the kids, he was probably like 10 or 11 though at the time, he came in and I had this habit of yelling shame whenever anyone couldn't get something or if they did something stupid and so the kid was like,

can I have dessert yet? And the mum was like, no, not yet. And I was like, shame! Everybody just burst into tears. Just to re-establish, you are a mother and you're yelling shame at children Yeah, yeah, yeah

I love this It feels like you're an older sibling Yelling shame Shame My husband is very like Oh God So when you screamed shame at a child because his request for dessert was denied, the kid cried.

Yeah. He's just very sensitive, I think, because. You're making him tough. I know. Yeah, exactly. You've got to have a thick skin in this world. When my daughter got braces, I was like, brace face. Right?

No, mum shouldn't. I can understand the, hey, people are going to call you brace face. Just ignore them. You're like, I will be the meanest person should know. I can understand the, hey, people are going to call you Braceface, just ignore them. You're like, I will be the meanest person you know. You're just preparing them for what they're going to get. Exactly. Toughen them up. Also coming from two non-parents there.

Yeah. Thank you, Fran, for your call. Let's go to Suzanne. Suzanne, when did you accidentally make a kid cry? Okay, guys. Hey, look, just a look, first time caller. Where's the bell? Where's the bell?

I haven't had a first date back for a long weekend. We've got the bell. Yay! Welcome. Hey, I was helping out in preschool, and the kids had just kind of done their Play-Doh thing, and they were getting ready for morning tea, so I was sweeping the floor.

And anyway, the broom was kind of in motion and I kind of got a wee bit distracted and the broom kind of kept going and landed on this two-year-old's head who just had a tidal meltdown. And I guess the funny thing about it was it was just one of those kids that always irks you. So I've always kind of wondered, you know,

if there was a bit of malice behind it. look i really don't think unintentional yes subconscious little subconscious malice like sweep this head kid away kind of unintentional get in the trash yeah malice there anyway i never helped out there again wow we were just sweeping the kids away because you can't hold on to a broom and that's what you want them to do. Suzanne, thank you for your call. We'll go back to Kelly. Is the line better there, Kelly? Joining us, rejoining the show.

Oh, it's better. Oh, beautiful. Now, we rejoin our teacher, Kelly, who's just recovered from COVID. When did you accidentally make a kid cry? Okay, so, before school, I'm trying to get all of these things up on the wall, which is art, and I'm up a ladder with a really heavy staple gun. Oh, yep.

God, how bad is kids' art, eh? It's so rubbish. Actually, Hayley, I have really high quality control, so my art is incredibly good. This is what you think. I think you've been brainwashed. No, no, no, no. I'll send you some stuff and you'll be like, oh, true, that's great. This is what you think. I think you've been brainwashed. No, no, no, no. I'll send you some stuff and you'll be like, oh, true. That's nice.

Okay. I await it. Yeah, I will send it to you. Okay, so anyway, I'm on the letter. I'd already sent it to the cat. It was nearing, you know, 9 o'clock. And I said, please don't come near the letter. I'm up here, you know.

And so I was almost done and I wanted to get it all done in time. And I had no idea that I had a little, because I was teaching five-year-olds, that a five-year-old had climbed up the ladder behind me. And I dropped my arm down, just because I don't know if you know, but those staple guns, they're about $100, $150 each, and they're really heavy, those, like, 15-year-olds. Oh, well, I smashed her in the face, didn't I? Well, she should have been climbing up the ladder. I mean, we've got to learn lessons that hard way. Oh, my God, I had I smashed her in the face, didn't I? Well, she should have been climbing up the ladder.

I mean, we've got to learn lessons that hard way. Oh, my God. I had to call her mum, and I, like, thank God her mum was just the coolest lady. Yeah. And I love this child. I think of her all the time. And I love all my kids. Oh, my God.

I still feel bad about it. Like, I still feel like I'm the worst person in the whole wide world. Yeah, but if you had to smash a kid in the face with a stapler, which one would it have been? Jaden. Jaden. Aiden. Or Caden.

His twin Caden. Anything that rhymes with Aiden. Aiden included. Caden, Aiden, Caden and Jaden. Kelly. Those quadruplets are terrible. And Wade. Yeah, Wade.

Thanks for your call, Kelly. A couple of messages to finish. My nephew said he hated me. I said, well, I hate you too. And he just burst into tears. He won that one. Yeah, well, that's the rules. You come and swing at the king, you bid not miss.

I was playing dodgeball with my son at an indoor trampoline park, and I wound up, he was quite a far away from me, and I wound up the dodgeball. And as I launched it a kid didn't give way. Now this is what I'm saying. If you're taking your kids to an indoor trampoline park, tell them they're going to give way. This kid jumped straight into the

path of the dodgeball and it just clapped him in the face, knocked him heads over tails and tears. I was looking after somebody else's kid and I said, what do you want your sandwiches cut? Triangles or looking after somebody else's kid, and I said, what, why do you want your sandwiches cut triangles or squares?

And they said triangles, so I cut triangles, and they burst into tears. And I said, you asked for triangles, and they said, I didn't know that's what a triangle was. So I just ate the sandwich in front of them,

and then they cried because they were hungry. You can't win sometimes. Oh God, it's lose-lose. You can't win sometimes. I didn't know what a triangle was. I work in a bar. I warned a kid three times not to run around.

I said, you'll fall over because the floor gets slippery. And then they ran around a corner and banged into me while I was carrying a tray of drinks. Did not fall over. But the next time the kid ran past, I put my foot out. He fell, skidded quite a distance on his face. And I said, I warned you. And he got up and ran to his mom crying. And she said, he did tell you not to run.

She didn't see him tripping over. Yeah, good. No, she didn't. She didn't know. Yeah. I love this message that's just come in. I used to work in a library and a bunch of 12-year-old kids were naughty. I said to one of them, I'll call your dad if you don't stop.

And then his friend said, oh, he doesn't have a dad. He's dead. And then there were tears, oh, he doesn't have a dad. He's dead. And then there were tears. Hey, needed Harry Potter. Speaking of which, if you go down there in the fiction section, it's under H.

Harry Potter. Vaughn, have you got yourself into a little bit of trouble? Well, I know. Do I? Who knows? No. That tone immediately says that you have. No. Probably.

And it's been brought up casually before. What's happened? Well, if Sade puts an Instagram post up, I'm generally there while she does it, or I was there when the photo was taken. So I don't feel my involvement needs to be any further than that. And she's probably run it past you. Like, do you like this?

Is this a good caption? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, knock yourself out there, champ. And she'll put it up. And then I just let that happen. Now, I've been told in no uncertain terms that I should be commenting on it like it's the first time I've seen it.

Like what? And saying like, ooh, yeah. That I'm taken aback by it. Yeah. Whoa, who? Whoa, heart eyes. But then apparently not just an emoji. Right.

I have to comment on it. Carween was telling me this. If she puts up a photo, she's expecting Ryan, her boyfriend, to, I don't know, pledge his allegiance in the comment section.

I mean, he doesn't though, but he should. Why? So this is an issue. I don't know. It's just nice, don't you think,

to like hype up your partner. But he's liking the photo, isn't he? Yeah. Well, that's enough. Chuck a comment. All of my best friends can be like, yes,

pop off. What do you mean chuck a comment, though? He sees you. He's literally there when you post it. Yeah, I was probably sitting on the couch. Don't you want the world to know that you think that your girlfriend's hot? I don't know. But she's married to him. Those are the same. They're married. They're locked it in.

Carmen, I wouldn't have married a minger. You know what I mean? No, I'm not marrying a bloody minger. You know how expensive it is to get married? I'm not doing it to Samargo. So, I mean, she knows that she's loved. I chose her specifically to breed with to try to weed out whatever this is happening here.

This white mess. Did she choose you? Well, there was a mutual choosing. That's how it works. You can't just pick one and be like, She did a full Reno on this one. She. This white mess. Did she choose you? Well, there was a mutual choosing. That's how it works. You can't just pick one and be like, She did a full Reno on this one. She did a full Reno. I think she does like him.

But I've got bad bones. I've got asbestos, you see. Now I need a little bit of what she's got on this exotic build. Yeah, yeah. To water down this very, very white. So she doesn't need an emoji on her Instagram post to feel loved.

Okay, but on the other hand, why wouldn't you want to just chuck a comment? It doesn't cost you anything, doesn't take much time. Because I can't help myself. It would have to be some sort of smart-ass comment, and it would only get me in more trouble. And then on the other extreme of things, Hayley, your fiancé, Aaron, hardly even on social media. Well, he doesn't use Facebook.

He barely uses Messenger. I only got him Instagram the other day. It's private and no, he only follows me and our house. Because I want to send him videos. Two things of which he knows inside out. Inside and out indeed.

But every now and then I'll be on Instagram and he'll be like, show me your pictures. Show me your pictures. And then I'll, like, scroll through the page. I'll scroll through and he'll be like, oh, that's cute. Send me that. Because he doesn't look.

He doesn't go on Instagram. But if he did, he would never comment. When he says send me that, what's he doing with it? I don't know, just looking at it He thinks I'm a cutie But he gets to see you all the time Yeah I know but sometimes I do cute photos And he doesn't see them

I put them up on Instagram and he's like holy What's his background on his phone? On his lock screen Me doing a character Did you have to say that for him or was he no he did it I sent him a funny photo of me doing it like a dumb character and he put there like he's not about the cutesy cuz I'm oh no I'm all cat at the moment but when I put a photo of us it's always like cutie woody yeah but he likes it when I'm...

Silly Willie. I can do the better. Silly Willie. So should we run a poll on this for Silly Little Pole tomorrow? Do you think maybe? Do you always comment on your partner's posts? Yeah. Would you be angry if your partner didn't comment maybe?

Something like that. Yeah. I think we should put it to the people. Okay. But yeah, you're just... No, I... Yeah. the people. Okay, but you yeah, you're just a... Yeah, most of the time it's poking fun because that's

what I do. Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'll try to do it nice. But then, this is the problem. If I do something nice... Oh, it doesn't sound genuine. It sounds like I'm being disingenuous and sarcastic. Yes, yes, yes. You need to practice more.

No. I'm happy to be on the receiving end of you practicing being nice in a genuine way. Next on the show, you know somebody on the Queen's birthday. You're related to somebody. Yeah, on the honours list. We woke up to a text message yesterday. It was a Facebook message from somebody who went to school that said congratulations to your auntie.

Wow. Now that's a weird text to wake up to. That's a weird message to wake up to. Because you'd be like, what? Three aunties. Three aunties? All of which are, you know, powerful women. Okay, yeah.

Could have been Auntie Eve. Maybe she absolutely nailed a batch of custard squares. All of which are, you know, powerful women. Okay, yeah. Could have been Auntie Eve. Maybe she absolutely nailed a batch of custard squares. Yeah, look, she's my favourite auntie of yours because I had some of those custard squares. Or maybe she had won her division of a steampunk cosplay. Yeah, she'll pop down to... She gets into a bit of steampunk. She loves a trip down to Wamaroo. Yeah, she loves that. So for services to steampunk and... gets into a bit of steampunk She loves a trip down to Wama Roo

Wama Roo Yeah she loves that So for services to steampunk Could have been services to steampunk Could have been Aunty Margaret Maybe she did the new personal best On the e-bike Could have been

She's got an e-bike Oh lovely And loves an e-bike Could have been You know E-bike related To saving Yeah

But it was Environmental Yeah It was my other auntie, Auntie Sylvia. What the hell has she done for herself? She got a Queen's Service Medal. A QSM for services to netball. This is one of those services to Natty.

She loves her Natty. Growing up at her place, it was always like a big bag of netballs were always on the floor and they needed to be pumped up to exactly 8 PSI before the game. Okay. Very seriously. And the bibs were always hand washed.

Yeah, yeah. Hand washed and on the drying rack, you know, drying in front of the fire. Right. Always loved her netty. And yeah, she got a coin service. And it's one of those weird people, things where I'll meet people and they're like,

a netball order, be like, oh, and I jokingly say, you might know my auntie Sylvia. And they're like, Sylvia Smith? And I'm like, yeah. Everyone knows her. Yeah, so, yeah, she's got a QSM. So you think she could get a medal?

She's going to get a medal. Do you go to a ceremony? There's going to be a ceremony. Yeah, you go to a ceremony. In London or here? No, it's either in Wellington or Auckland, I said. Well, if it's Auckland, I said I'll be there. Government house.

What, you won't go down to Wellington for her? Well, see, you don't even hang out. Do you even hang out with her or see her that much? Oh, we see her every now and then. How often do you see your aunties, Fletch? I don't know, like once in a blue moon. But if it's in Auckland, I live in Auckland. I'm the only one of her great nieces and nephews and nieces that live in Auckland.

Don't invite yourself down to- She'll get some tickets. Come on. What am I going to get to go into the side of this flash place? What's the dress code? I'm not dressing up. No. It'll be dress up, Vaughn.

It'll be dress up. Drill what? So formal beanie. Suit. Suit. Not formal beanie. Pikachu t-shirt. Beanie.

Pikachu t-shirt. Yep. Formed very formal attire. No beanie. I said to her, so how does this work? Yep. And she said, well, I got an email, but it went to my spam folder. She's like, but I always scan through my spam folder before I delete them.

Yeah, I'm the same. Why do you never scam spam? No, you always scan your spam because there could be some spam that's not spam. I just leave the spam, and if they want me, they'll find me. Well, you could have missed out on a Queen's service medal. You could have missed out. Exactly. In your spam folder. That's probably what's happened because man I was searching the paper

on Queen's birthday. Services to cakes and biscuits. Yeah. That's right. Because of all your series of the cookie program. Yeah. Yeah. So she said it's in her spam folder and she's like this looks and I was like it would 100% look like a scam. Yeah. 100%. You were like a scan. Yeah.

100%. You were being honoured. Yeah. You'd be like, yeah, I am being honoured by deleting this immediately. We just need your bank details. But then she got asked all these questions. She had to fill out a form, and then she sent it in. And then, yeah, the rest was. Wow.

This is how she told my dad and her other brother, Roger. If you could both just pop up to the house, I need to have a word to you. Now, when someone of a certain age says they need to have a word with their brothers, you're assuming it's bad news. I would just text my brother and say, suck it, I'm winning QSM. Yeah, what have you done with your life? It's not a lottery.

No, I'm winning it. It's not a lottery. Yeah, but then she said, and then, yeah, they get in contact and people nominate you and then you get to read all the nice things people said about you. But apparently her grandfather, so my great-grandfather, he also had one. What for? God, dime a dozen. Well, he was the mayor.

So I feel like. You've told me that before. He was the mayor. You're such a loser compared to, like, everyone else, aren't you? Like, you couldn't care less about people, could you? I care about people. You're a no-one. No, but you're happy going home.

You wouldn't want to be mayor because it's too much people. I'd tell people to shut up and piss off a lot. You think Wayne Brown's grumpy, honestly. Oh, God, we don't do nothing. If I said I would go to a press conference, I'd ask a question, I'd be like, dumb question, next. What's happening to the harbour? I don't know.

It's not going anywhere, is it? Next. We've got potholes in our roads, so boo-hoo. You don't want to pay any more rates? You're not getting your potholes fixed. You're not winning a QSM. Nah, probably not. Probably not. But yeah, I read through that list. It's a good list of really good people

out there doing some really good things. Well, they do a lot of great work for the community. Yeah. But it always annoys me when someone gets for services to business because they're already rich enough. If they've serviced business well enough, that's your reward. They've got like a beach house. I feel like a beach house is a reward. If one would you rather have a beach house or a QSM?

Beach house. Beach house. Beach house, of course. Beach house. Elevated beach house, though. Oh, yeah, and far enough away from the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These days.

Yeah, yeah. Beach-ish house. Beach house or log away from the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These days. Yeah, yeah. Beach-ish house. Beach house or log cabin in the bush. Yeah, but either way, like beach house, your house is going to get taken by coastal erosion or your forest house will be consumed by a climate change fire. Yeah, that's also true. So bunker in the desert road.

Yeah. Bunker or Q in... Bunker. A bunker in the desert road. Yep. Bunker or QSM? Bunker. I would love a bunker. I know, yes. It's a dream of mine to have a bunker. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day the origins of the term guy.

Like, hey guys. Oh, interesting. This guy. You're a guy. This guy. Yeah. What's up with this guy? Uruguay.

Uruguay? Uruguay. No, that's different. That's a different this guy? Uruguay. Uruguay? Uruguay. No, that's different. That's different. That's a country. Guy as in? Guy and Espiner. That's exactly right.

Yes. Guy and Espiner. Guy Sebastian. No, not Guy Sebastian. But you're on the right track. Male. Old. Old.

The oldest named person called Guy that you can think of. Guy Fawkes. Bingo. Guy Fawkes. Did you see how I just won that? That was so good. This is why I've said I would be the best one of us for the chase. No.

Are you serious? I had to hold your hand and walk you to the finish line. This is not the cash prize for you. We'll put this to the test at our upcoming quiz night. Thank you. We will. So Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the king. Parliament.

King James I. British Parliament and King James I. The year was 1605. It wasn't very nice of him. It wasn't very nice, but he felt that the king was taking liberties and there was a fair few people that agreed with him. Did he do it with Roman candles and buzzy bees? No, he did it with gunpowder. Wow.

Full blown gunpowder. Okay. So he was also Catholic and doing it on behalf of the Catholics. So do you know how they would burn like effigies of guy forks? Like have you ever been to a bonfire and they'd make a thing that looks like a person, they'd call it the guy and they'd chuck it on the

fire and it burns. They used to do that with the Pope as well. Good Lord. They'd make Pope ones like horrendously anti-Catholic roots, the old Guy Fawkes holiday. Goodness. So Guy Fawkes, even though before he tried to blow up Parliament, he didn't look scraggly.

Obviously, after they stopped it and he became the bad guy, part of the image change was making him out to be like a scraggly, no good layabout. Okay. You know, this guy tried to blow up Parliament. So whenever they would tout these things around, he was dressed shabbily. So then it became a joke that, well, it became like a slur.

If someone was a peasant or not dressed very well, you'd call them a guy. That guy. And then because it was mostly men, it became synonymous with the male gender. Guys. Guys and girls. Those guys over there would be like three or four poorly dressed. I think they'd all be dressed

like they're in Peaky Blinders. Well before Peaky Blinders. Guys and dolls, you know. Hundreds of years before both of those references. They looked more like the Pilgrims did when they went to the US. Oh my God, I loved the Pilgrims outfits. They were so hot. Then it just became sort of like...

They didn't have dress smarts, so in their defence, they didn't have a lot of clothes. They worked with what they could. Yeah, they worked with what they had. They had the hats with the buckles on them. Yeah. So then it became just kind of like what you called men, guys. Yeah.

And then later on, it's kind of lost its gender specificity. And it's just guys, like, hey, guys. And that's like the tracked evolution of the word guys. Okay. From Guy Fawkes. Amazing. Wowee. And even people weren't very evolution of the word guys. Okay. From Guy Fawkes. Amazing. Wowee. And even people weren't very often called Guy back then.

It was a French name. Right. And because the French were still Catholics. Yeah, right. So he came across and got given a French name. Religion, eh? In the middle of it all again. Right in the middle of it all.

In the thick of it. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is if you call someone a guy today, like, hey, guys. Yeah. The origins of it, Guy Fawkes, the very man that gives us the 5th of November celebrations. Fact of the ER,

in the emergency room. A TV show. That hasn't been a TV show for literally years. The George Clooney. It's a literally years. The George Clooney. It's a very old reference. George Clooney. Yeah. She's 22.

Had a hell of a theme song though, didn't it? Yeah. I can't remember. I'll let you know. A theme song. The theme from ER. George Clooney looked very young then. Very young.

Well, I mean, I guess it was like 25. Dude, 30 years ago? Try 30 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's 22 and Try 30 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's 22 and- I'm up. I'm on.

Hell of a theme song. This is terrible. Hell of a festival. It's picking up, baby. Give it a chance. This is the- Get a cup of tea. Get your biscuit.

Get to the lounge. The VCR's got last week's episode on it where... Oh, it really packed up a gear there, didn't it? Diddle-ing. You imagine George Clooney walking down the hallway,

diddle-ing. Anthony Edwards up and down the hallway. Yeah. Noah. What was his name? A young doctor. He's walking up

and down the hallway. Yes! Yes. It's all coming back now. And now it's sad. You see them on... Everyone except for George Clooney,

you always see them pop up on shows. You're like, oh. It didn't really take off for you like it did everybody else. Anyway, this woman, 22, she thought she was putting in the eye drops. Turns out, super glue. Oh, yeah, that's a dumb, she's a dummy. That's a dumb thing to do. Eye drops, I don't know what eye drops look like in America,

but in New Zealand, I've used eyedrops before or, like, clear eyes sometimes. And they're vastly different tubes. Yes. I mean, unless you've got, like, gunky eyes or you're half asleep and you're just taking the lid off, you don't notice? Or it's some weird specialist glue that I'm unaware of. Yeah. She doesn't show the glue container,

but I'm, yeah, because in New Zealand it's a lot different. You would know, surely, right, if you were mixing up eye drops and super glue. Mmm. Like, I'd imagine mixing up different pastes. Yeah. Like a toothpaste and an ointment. I don't know, sometimes glue's really, like, watery, really

runny. I don't know. Mmm. Well, this is what I wanted to ask this morning. For some calls, 0800-DARLS-AT-M, text in 9696. What have you mistaken for something else? And what was the name of the woman on AR, the head nurse, that was there from start to end? You can IMDB this, Vaughan.

You can IMDB this in your own time. But I don't know, did you mix up thinking it was mouthwash and it was something else? Lots of things you can mix up. Makeup.

Thinking it was makeup and it was something else. 0800 dials at M. We want to take yours now. Laura Innes, her name was and the character's name was Kerry Weaver.

Okay. That's who I'm thinking of. Kerry Weaver, Dr. Kerry Weaver. Juliana Margorales. That was, yes. She Okay. That's who I'm thinking of. Kerry Weaver, Dr. Kerry Weaver. Juliana Margo-Holles. That was, yes. What was she in? She's been on a massive show after that.

The Good Wife. Was she in The Good Wife? Was she in The Good Wife? Let me click on Juliana Margo-Holles and tell you. Heaps of stuff. Girl shit. Snakes on a plane. The Morning Show.

Oh, The Morning Show. Maybe that's the one I'm thinking of. The Good Wife. Yeah, The Good Wife. She was The Good Wife. She was in all 156 episodes of The Good Wife. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

We want to know what you've mixed up. A woman in the US had to go to the emergency department to get her eyes picked open because she mixed up super glue and eye drops. So we want to know what you've mixed up. Hannah, this was mum that mixed up something. Yes, it was. Just actually last week,

so this conversation couldn't come at a perfect time. So what did she mix up? So she usually uses like those equal tablets and one of those all dispensers for her coffee each morning. Mums love an equal time. I reckon if you did a survey around the whole of the country of what's in a mum's handbag, I reckon like four in five mums would have artificial sweetener tabs.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's disgusting. Don't know why they use it, but anyway. Yeah, so she's got a very incredibly high-maintenance cat who is on all sorts of medications, including thyroid tablets, and I have no idea how she did it, but I think she must have had one just sitting on the bench ready to give to her as she was making her coffee.

As she was making it, she poured the coffee in and was like, that's weird. Like my equal tablet's turning like a pink color as it's mixing in. Oh my God. And she didn't really, she was like, ah, okay, carried on anyway. And then, yeah, she took a sip and she was like, oh no, this is very bitter. I don't know what this is. And then she just, it dawned on her that actually she had used her cat's thyroid tablet. Oh, wow.

She ended up calling the Poisons Hotline. She was totally freaked out about it. And I was like, look, I'm sure if a nine kilo cat could take a thyroid tablet, I'm sure that you'll be fine with it. Yeah, yeah. God, you would get some calls at the Poisons Hotline, eh? Oh, no. I think they were trying not to crack up laughing and tell some very kind of pun jokes.

Yeah. Oh, that's brilliant. Hannah, thank you. Some messages in of what you've got mistaken. A kid grazed his knee. My son grazed his knee and my wife asked him to go get the Savlon.

Yeah. And he went and he put it on and he said it was burning and then he started crying and we said, harden up. Then we could smell it.

He'd actually just rub deep heat straight into a graze. Yes. Now that's not good. That's good stuff. Yeah. You'll only do that once? Yeah.

We're talking about when you've got things mixed up, muddled up, things that look the same, very different purposes. Very different purposes. So somebody at the ER mixed up super glue and eye drops. Somebody said there is a glue that is for eyelashes that looks a lot like eye drops. Oh, okay.

So that could have been the thing. Anonymous, hello, Anonymous. Good morning. Hi. Hi, good morning. You've done this, eyelash glue. I have. No, it wasn't.

No, that's the thing. It wasn't eyelash glue. Okay, so what did you do? So just probably just the FYI, if you're going to the chemist's warehouse to buy lashes, make sure that you buy the lash glue that goes with it because the glue next to it is for your nails. Oh, my God.

Did you have nail glue in your eyes? I had nail glue in my eyes. So I saw the lashes, and then on the bottom of the box it said that the glue's not included, that I had to buy that separately. Oh, yeah. So I look next to the lashes, and I see some glue, a taste glue, and I just immediately assumed, oh, of course, it's a flash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't. And I didn't even bother reading the instructions when I got home. I just pulled the lashes out. I was all excited. I had family at the table with me. And I put the glue on the lash and I put it on my eye and it started to sting like straight away. I hadn't even really touched my lash yet and it was stinging.

Oh, what did you do? Well, I just thought, oh, I'm just having a reaction to the glue. I'm just going to let this sit on my leg until it settles. Yeah. And it didn't settle. It just got worse. Oh, my God.

I had thickened it up in the middle, the glue. So when I could pull it, I ripped my whole lashes. Oh! Has a grown back or even got a bald spot? And then I had the audacity to check because I was going to go back in and make a complaint. Yeah.

And then one of the cousins was like, oh, girl, I think you should check that glue. So I said, hey, I'll check the glue. And I had a look and I was like, holy, you're not going to believe this. It's super glue. Super glue. the glue. And I had a look and I was like, holy, you're not going to believe this. It's super glue. Super glue. For nails. Nails. And it said extra hold.

Oh, God. It was a real strong glue. But so did you have to go to the hospital or did you just get it off yourself? No, no, no. I just handled it out. No way was me and my pride going to the hospital. No, no, no. Yeah, I'm like you too.

I'd sit at home and I'd be like, until it falls, until my eye falls out, I'm probably just going to have to sit at home in my own shame here. I just had one bald eye. I love this. From my side just would not let me, and it stung like heck. Now, I know it's early in the week. It's only Tuesday, but I think this could be our caller of the week. We're going to hook you up.

A $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our friends at McCafe. Yes way. Congratulations. So it's kind of worth it for the embarrassment. Oh no,

that's cool. Thank you. All right, wait there. We'll sort that out. A couple of messages to finish up. We were doing face painting

and we saw a little orange pot and we said, well, we'll grab that and we grabbed it and we rubbed it all over each other's faces because we're going to be tigers. We just put tiger balm all over our face. No, that's deep heat. Yeah, that'll sting. Ancient Singaporean

deep heat. Not good for the eyes. Dan's brushed his teeth with off mosquito repellent cream twice. Then I learned my friend arrived late to a barbecue, grabbed a piece of white chocolate off the table, chucked it in her mouth and chewed twice before she realized it wasn't chocolate, it was a fire lighter.

Oh, those things. Waxy. Jess, what did your partner mix up? He mixed up Vex Vaporub with Vaseline and kind of put it on his manly bits. Did he have a bit of chafing down there? Yeah, he had a bit of chafing.

And he was like, oh, I'll just get the Vaseline. So he's like, I hear him rummaging in the bathroom. Oh yeah, he's alright. And he comes running out like this.

Oh my gosh. Especially if you're rubbing that into a chafe. Yeah, it'll be a bit of a chafe. It'll be a bit raw down there. Jess, thanks for your call. I will finish up with Suze. What did the husband mix up?

Oh, many years ago, we went to... Sorry, he broke his collarbone, and we were heading off to Australia for a bit of a holiday, and we wanted to make sure that we were going to have a really good trip, so we didn't want to be bogged down by pain. My mum at the time, she had some leftover painkiller meds that she shared with her. Of course she did.

Exactly what it says, not matter. Yes, you do. So anyway, we went off to Oz, and he's taking his pills, but the pain is not getting any better. But for some unknown reason, he ends up on the toilet every day, and that just gets worse and worse and worse and worse. Anyway, we finally get back to New Zealand a week later and a little bit raw downstairs,

and he goes to see the doctor, puts in new pain meds, and he shows him what he was taking, and the doctor said, well, no wonder your pain wasn't getting any better. You've actually been taking laxatives all week. So that's why it was blowing through him. That's brilliant. And that's why we don't share meds.

We don't share meds. That's why we don't share meds. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast, and then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.