ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th March 2024

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Murder on the Dancefloor  Top 6: Reasons Vaughan couldn't run a Dairy  Silly Little Poll!  Micro-Cheating in the Workplace  We interview a huge Comedy Fest name!  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fleshpawn and Hayley and yes, Instagram or Facebook Messenger and Facebook have been down this morning. So what do we just talk to each other to our faces now?

Well, I went to check my messages when I woke up and I was logged out. Yes, same. And then I went to log in and it was like, your password doesn't match and I was logged out. And then I went to log in and it was like, your password doesn't match. And I was like, uh-oh. Yeah, I thought I'd been hacked. Someone's found a way to hack with third-party authenticator and

I was like, well, that's it. All of our group chat messages are out. Yeah, we're toast, man. We're done. I was almost ready to go back to bed. I was like, if I'm going to be cancelled, I'm not getting up this early. Mine was, usually I get up and I'll drag myself out of bed and I'll like, if I'm going to be cancelled, I'm not getting up this early. Mine was, usually I get up and I'll drag myself out of bed and I'll sit on the toilet

and I'll just scroll Instagram for like five minutes. Yeah. Post wee. You couldn't do that? Well, it looks like it's back up now. No, Instagram's not. Instagram's still playing up a little bit.

Okay, right. Oh, is it? Okay, it's bouncing back. No, no, no, we're good. We're good, we're good, we're good. Thank God. It's a rough start to the day. I've no, no, we're good. We're good, we're good, we're good. Thank God. It's a rough start to the day. I've slopped protein shake down my shirt.

Yeah. No Instagram, no Messenger. Mark Zuckerberg's probably lost billions of dollars from just a few hours down. I reckon he'll be all right. He'll be all right. He'll be all right. He was at that wedding.

I was going to say he had a photo with... Lovely Trenty. The lovely Trenty. Really? Yeah, a New Zealand cricketer. Yeah. God, it's pretty wild. Do you remember the time I was in Bay of Plenty and Trent Bolt

messaged me on Instagram saying, do you want to come around and watch the Rugby at our house? And my wife was like, nah. I don't want to go around there. I don't know them. And now Trent Bolt's at a billionaire's wedding. You could have been at a billionaire's wedding. I'm not saying I could have been at a billionaire's wedding. I'm just saying you could have like met through. A connection. I was just saying. You could have, like, went through.

We would have had a connection. I was so upset you turned down Lovely Trinity. I was, too. Mind you, it was one of those. He's a lovely man. Yeah, we'd been doing, like, yard work and stuff. It was one of those days where at the end of the day, you just don't feel like doing anything.

Sometimes you're just going to ditch your partner, you know? And go without her. Yeah. I would have gone without. Lovely Trinity. See you. Lovely Trinity. Coming up on the show, the top six and a Dunedin icon is for sale.

The Rob Roy Dairy. If you haven't had an ice cream from there, you simply must. Big scoops, eh? Big scoops. Huge scoops. Big scoops. Huge scoops. I believe when we did the ice cream index around New Zealand,

it was very highly represented on the Dunedin side of things. The dairy is for sale. I've got the top six reasons I simply could not run a dairy. It's hard work. It would be really hard work. You've got to get the right dollar mixes. How many sugary things

are you putting in? How many smooth things? How many chocolatey things? What are you having that's not like, you know, your usual dairy stuff? Exactly. We'll get into that soon with the top six you know, your usual dairy stuff.

Exactly. We'll get into that soon with the top six. Also, your chance to win some cash this morning, the current jackpot. Oh, my God. $19,000 for five on time. We'll play at eight o'clock. Yesterday, what did we have? 5.28 and 4.28 were the guesses.

So close. So close. So, if you would like to win the cash and play five on time, eight o'clock this morning, listen out for the activator. But next on the show, if you think that your hangovers have gotten worse recently, there could be a reason. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Not catching the train to Wellington. The whole point is to spend time with my parents. I'd spend the whole day getting there and then have one day and then the whole day getting there. Well, you're complaining about how much it costs to fly down. $600. I'm saying get on the Overlander. But it takes 12 hours.

Not a problem. There's a cart for food. Have a couple of drinks. The time with the parents is lost. Enjoy the scenery. They could catch the train up to Ohakune. We could meet. You could meet there.

Meet them in National Park. Spend the week in a National Park. Then you get to do the Rarimu spiral. They don't. I'll be livid about that because that's an absolute engineering masterpiece when they first did that. The flight prices at the moment to fly around New Zealand are insane. It's cheeky.

It's a bloody privileged few. Yeah. It can afford a casual weekend somewhere. Ridiculous. Anyway, that's my own personal

conundrum. Have you, do you feel, because I know that there's the sort of, you know, what do you call it? Adage,

I guess, that hangovers get worse as you get older. And I haven't really found that. Opposite for me. Yeah, mine really. I think I'm just getting better at drinking. I think, yeah, I think I'm sort of getting stronger

at dealing with a hangover. Also, like, as an adult. Don't talk to my liver or kidneys about it, but. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, get them to shut up. But also as an adult, you don't have the luxury of leaning into a hangover. You've got stuff to do. Yeah.

Which I think always helps. Mine definitely aren't getting worse. But sometimes one comes along and you're like, oh. Oh, it's a shocker. This is a two-dayer. Oh, yeah, I know. You get to work on Monday. You're like, no, that's still around.

That's still hanging around. Well, if you feel like your hangovers have been getting worse lately, it might not be that you're getting older and then that's coming true. It could be because of COVID. Long COVID. Really? Now you had kind of a version of long COVID for sure. The first time? The first time. Because also I'm being teased or not teased but people kind of

like, oh you've had it three times? Like I feel like there's this thing. There's not a stigma. There's a thing. People are like, oh you've had it three times. I've only had it once. Is it because you're just going out lipsing everybody? I blame the gym. Pissing up a storm?

I blame the gym classes. Yeah. You also travel quite a bit. I am travelling. That's the last time I got it was travelling, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you got it travelling, Vaughnie? Yeah, the first time I got it. The easiest way.

Yeah. I mean, I've only had it once, and it does make me feel better than you. The last time I had it, well, I was fine. I just didn't exercise for two weeks, and then I got back into it. I was all good. Well, you know how long COVID just has all these sort of, like, unexplainable symptoms, and no one knows why it lasts in someone longer. Like, because you're very fit and healthy, so it's not like you're going,

oh, he had a, you're fit and healthy, ripped, fit, hot dude. But you couldn't look and go, oh, because he's unfit or because he's old or he's got a respiratory disorder. There's no reason to it. Same with hangovers. They have no idea,

but they think that it's new sensitivities that can incur after COVID infections in patients with long COVID means that your hangovers can just be so much worse. Damn it. No, thank you. Now, at the same time, Calvin Harris has

What's he been doing? The musician Calvin Harris or well-known microbiologist Calvin Harris? The article doesn't say. He was doing an interview on BBC Radio 1 so I'd say the singer, the DJ, the musician.

Well, he's revealed a hangover hack that really helps him. Because yours is coconut water. You love the coconut water. It's nature's powerade. Yeah. Mine's nuggies. Pre and post hangover. His is crack eggs and pour them straight into your mouth.

Raw dog the eggs. Now he's saying eggs plural. It's not healthy. You shouldn't eat raw eggs. If it's the tummy hangover where you're a little queasy, that could bounce straight back out. But if it's a headache hangover. you're a little queasy, that could bounce straight back out. But if it's a headache hangover... Dude, he's doing six eggs.

I do. See, I'll do eggs, but... Cooked? Scrambled. No, no, he's raw dogging them. No, no, no, no, no. He says it's part of a primal diet, and whenever he has it, it just like cleans the liver and gets it going

again, feels energised, feels great I wouldn't be able to handle it, even if it wasn't a bad hangover, I was cracking raw eggs into my mouth, six of them Oh my god I almost threw up just then Yuck, but hey It's a no from me, if you want to try it

that's Calvin Harris, either a microbiologist or a musician, that's their hack, either a microbiologist or a musician. That's their hack. Thank you, Hayley, at the hangover desk. You're welcome. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's Sophie Ellis-Bexter on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now, that song has had a resurgence.

I'm loving it. I'm loving it more than I loved it the first time. Same. It doesn't, when I hear it now, it doesn't sound like an old song. Do you know why? I think like lots of artists like Dua Lipa's got kind of disco vibe to her new music.

Lizzo did that whole album that felt kind of disco-y. It's the 20 year disco cycle. It is. It's like the strings and that kind of stuff. And so the Saltburn movie gave it a new life and it's entered the Hot 100 charts in America

for the first time. She's performing on like American talk shows which she never did when it came out. It wasn't even a song in America. It was massive in Britain

and here. Yeah. But that was it. Yeah. And so it's kind of people are delving into the song. And Pixie in the Office

wasn't even a twinkle in her eye when it first came out. So bring out Hayange as it hurts. You always do this Vaughn. It really hurtsinkle in her eye when it first came out. So bring out how young she is. You always do this Vaughn. It really hurts me. It's insulting. You're getting old. Last night, somebody sent it to me and I shared it on my

Instagram story. That if Back to the Future was set today, Marty McFly would only go back to 1994. Now that's a kick right in the old balls, that one. The old, old, old, old balls. Well, so people are delving into Murder on the Dance Floor. She, surprise, she didn't write the song.

Surprise! No pop artists wrote their songs in the 90s. So it's coming out and people are learning who wrote the song. And it was a band that had a one-hit, I would say one-hit wonder. At the end of the 90s, 2000s, they had a huge song. Like, if I played the song now, you would know what song that is.

Don't Google. No, I'm not Googling. She's Googling. She's cheating. No, I Googled one-hit wonders of the 90s. The 90s was the decade for One Hit Wonders. It was, yeah. Is it four non-blondes?

No. Huge, don't ruin it. Huge One Hit Wonder. Now, the guy that wrote that huge One Hit Wonder had two songs. He was like, should this be the single we go with? So it's male.

So he chose the One Hit Wonder and then the other song was Murder on the Dancefloor. Is that what you're saying? Yes, yes. And he kept it. It never even went on their album. He was like, I don't think we can do this as a band. A band?

And then he ended up, after that band, he ended up producing and writing Sophie Alice Baxter's first album. And he's like, I've got just the song for you. British guy? No. Not British. I've got a demo. I've got a demo. for you. British guy? No. Not British. I've got a demo.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, listen. I've got a demo of the band doing the song Murder on the Dance Floor. Here's your clue. What the heck is going on here? It's terrible, right? It's not. New Radicals.

Yes. New Radicals. Greg Watts' face from New Radicals. Are you locking in New Radicals? Yeah. You only get what you give. That's who I am. You are correct.

You are correct. When you said they had a one-hit wonder and then they weren't British. Yeah, and then he kind of retired. He was like, I don't want to be a pop superstar. He popped up like recently at a Joe Biden event. One, two, three. Ow! I thought he did lots of songwriting after.

And then he did lots of songwriting and producing. This song rules. It just kind of stayed undercover. No. Work, work, work. What destroys this song for me every time is when it gets to the end and he just starts slagging off pop stars. Oh, what?

The thing is, what about you? Kick your ass in Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson. Oh. And you're a big Marilyn Manson fan, weren't you? Sorry, are you standing by Marilyn Manson? No, no, no, no, no, no. But I just really stamped it at the time. Before his time, if you want to look at it that way. Yeah, I suppose so. He had to go with Hanson. No, no, no, no, no, no. But it just really stamped it at the time. Before his time, if you want to look at it that way.

Yeah, I suppose so. He had to go with Hanson. Beck and Hanson. Yeah. Even though Beck's last name was Hanson. So yeah, this guy wrote Murder on the Dance Floor. He loved the bucket hat. Just finding out about it.

Can you play, now that we've got him in our head again, can you play his version of Murder on the Dance Floor again? I just want to hear it. Mirror on the Dance! Bit of refining. I reckon it could have been another massive hit. You reckon? Nah, I couldn't imagine it's the same. It would have needed to come out off the back of

the big one-hit wonder they had. When everyone was still hot for them. Just before we get into things, I need to issue a joint apology on behalf of myself and Fletch. Because I reported on an article. Why are you drinking me? Excuse me. Where did I get the article from? Fletch's prep that said said hangover cure from Calvin Harris,

who is a very famous sober activist. Oh, I know, I knew that. So why did you put hangover cure? I meant to write jet lag cure. The raw dogging six eggs was jet lag. That's how he deals with jet lag. Either way, gross, but yeah. If you do have a hangover,

I revoke the idea of having six raw eggs to fix it. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Well, the bloody Rob Roy dairies for Sal and Dunedin. This is, Shannon, when you were a Dunedin local, you'd always

hit up the Rob Roy, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah. Triple scoop for like, I think it was like four or five dollars. Wow. Just so cheap and they were like four or five dollars. Wow. Just so cheap and they were like never freezer burned. Do you know how sometimes it was so fresh

because everyone was always there. Yeah. It was the best place to go. Good sum of what's for sale. I'm just looking at their Instagram. I guess if you buy it

you also get their 959 followers. Ooh. Okay. Liz Watson is the owner. She's owned it for 16 years and she said, I'm getting to the grand old age of 65,

so I fear it's time to retire. She's too old to put up with bloody students. Shenanigans. Knicking crunchy bars. Oh, yeah. Shenanigans. They've got a real great sort of like dessert bar option going on.

Okay. They were running, now I can't say this still stands, but two weeks ago they were doing buy one get one free 500ml Monster. Monster energy drinks. They're running some deals. Sure, that's good.

Running some deals. Bikibatta ice cream. Bikibatta. Yummy. That's a play on cookie dough, isn't it? Yeah, Bikibatta. That's getting around a trademark, isn't it? Yeah, it really is.

It really is. Good though. Feels like it. Well, it's for sale. You could buy it. And it just reminded me, I couldn't run a dairy. Here't it? Yeah, it really is. It really is. Good though. Feels like it. Well, it's for sale. You could buy it. And it just reminded me I couldn't run the dairy. Here are the top six reasons I couldn't. Number six on the list.

I'd take a lolly tax from every $1 mixture. Oh, you'd have to. What do you take him? Juicy caramel. Oh, yeah. Every time I do. Do you know what just popped into my head? That's one of the last.

Cola rocks. Remember the rocks, the jagged rocks? No. They were like a brown rock. No. Had like spiky rocks. I remember that Licky the lollipop

stick it in the cola poppy candy stuff. No, cola rocks. They were awesome. I just popped into my head. You know Dave Next Door who works at the Macy's factory. Yeah.

Hang on. I was just yarning to him that my mum, I don't remember those. Oh, yeah, I remember those. They're like a hard-boiled cola sweet. Yeah, they're a bit sherberty. No.

I mentioned to Dave, just to shout out to Dave, I mentioned to Dave that my mother loves a raspberry drop. She was having trouble finding them. He gave her a big box. Big bag. Huge box. Oh, that's lovely, isn't it? Raspberry drops.

Hell of a guy. Yeah, quite a yum hard-boiled sweet. They're making a resurgence. Indy was in Sydney for Mardi Gras the weekend. What was my 12-year-old doing there? Long story. She went to a blossoming lesbian. God bless.

Oh, my God. Fingers crossed. You would love it. I don't want to be out-alfed by her partner, though. She'd need to get a lipstick one. Better be a lipstick one. I just don't need to be out-alphaed by another woman in my house.

On a motorcycle. Yeah, yeah. If she could get a real... Or rocks up in a Ford Ranger. Oh my God! Shaped sides. I'd actually like to see that, to be honest.

Same. God, it's going to be fun. And then we just happen to be leaving the house at the same time and she blats past me in the range to really establish herself as the dominant force.

Rocks a shucker out the window to you. Shucker out the window. She's real nice but she knows what she's doing. Yeah, don't call me that. Yeah. Don't call me Mr. Smith.

What were we talking about? Oh, and she went to a place called Sticky's which make hand-boiled sweets in front of you. It does the pulling and then they... Oh, okay pulling and then they chuck them and they shatter into... It was so yum. Where was this?

Because gays don't do carbs. Especially before Mardi Gras. Oh, that's how I think they got into the store. All the gays were cutting. Yeah, right. You're cutting for Mardi Gras. You're cutting for Mardi Gras. Right.

Back on track, please. You were sidetracked by the gays there, weren't you? Yeah. They'll do that, though. Flittering about. My daughter's new butch partner that doesn't exist. Number five on the list of the top six reasons I couldn't run a dairy. Probably helped myself to a little ice cream when I was sad.

Oh, yeah. And then I'd convince myself I was sad even when I wasn't sad just so I could have a little ice cream. It'd be that goody-goody gumdrops just sitting there. I'd see have a little ice cream. It'd be that goody goody gumdrops just sitting there. I'd see like a little gum drop and I'd be like I could just finger that out

and eat it. And then when people come to your dairy to get a goody gumdrop it's just goody. Yeah. No gumdrops. Just goody goody.

Number four on the list of the top six reasons I couldn't run a dairy. I wouldn't stock vapes. Well you'd be moral. I'm taking the moral high ground. Yeah, okay. Saggies, though. Shit, yeah. Oh, God. I'll sell them to kids.

Vapes, though. I'll probably be taking them to their parents. No, I'll take the high ground. Okay. Oh, yeah, as long as I've got a note from Mum. Yeah. Hello, Mr. Smith. Hi, how are ya? How are ya, Mum and Dad? Yeah, good. Mum sent me down for some durries. Hiya. Sweet. Was she still on the poor malls? Poor mall rolling? Yeah, good. Mum sent me down for some durries. Oh, yeah? Sweet. Was she still on the poor mauls?

Poor maul rollies? They don't bloody let you show the packaging anymore, but here you go. Look at that. That's a good package, that one there down. You take those straight home to mum. You take them. Bye, Mr. Smith. See you later, Timmy.

Got any filters, Mr. Smith? Yeah, you know your mum. These are for you, aren't they, Timmy? Because I know your mum doesn't put filters in her rollies. Oh, yeah. Don't Yeah, you know your mum. These are for you, aren't they, Timmy, because I know your mum doesn't put filters in her rollies. Don't you lie to me. If you want to smoke, you smoke an whole pack. Number

three on the list of the top six reasons I couldn't run a dairy. I'd hide out the back if someone came in that I didn't want to talk to. The ding dong would go off. I'd check the little camera and be like, I'm not going out there. I don't like off The doo doo And I'd check the little camera And be like I'm not going out there I don't like them I don't want to talk to them

They're a pain in the arse Number two on the list Of the top six reasons I couldn't run a dairy I'd scratch all the scratches Oh yeah Because I'm running a dairy With a lot of

Instant Kiwi store in it Just scratch the Barcode The barcode at the bottom So they're scanning Not that one Not that one. Not that one. We've got a winner.

And number one on the list of the top six reasons I couldn't run a dairy, I'd have the PlayStation set up behind the counter and I'd make people wait till I was ready. Till I finished the part

I was in the game till they bought their stuff. Or I'd just let them self-serve. Okay, yeah, right. And then they'd take the piss. You'd reach your hand around in the till,

push that button, you'd be right. Mate, I can't, I can't. I'm in the middle of it. I'm just going to reinforce it, my frienderve. Okay, yeah, right. And then they take the piss. You reach your hand around in the till, push that button, you'll be all right. Mate, I can't, I can't. I'm in the middle of it. I'm just going to reinforce it, my friend. Come on, you tap yourself. You do it. Don't make me look.

I'm concentrating. An honesty dairy. An honesty dairy. I quite like that. Or I just get to play PlayStation all day. Koha, Koha dairy. Yeah. That is today's Subsex.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, this is a global report about well-being looking at mental well-being physical well-being and how we all rank Now you rank them out of 100 and I've got to say New Zealand we're not looking so good I've scrolled down

the list Shut up. Where are we? We're fine. We're definitely in the bottom quarter. Oh, shit. Out of everybody? Really?

Geez. I mean, there are some countries absolutely going through it at the moment. Yeah. So it looks at all sorts of like food consumption, access to food, cost of living, safety. Okay, there you go. That's going to count against us, isn't it? The cost of living. Totally.

It looks at a whole bunch of factors. Okay. So our rating that we in general had out of 100 was 62. Now we're... 62%. That's NCEA, not pass. It's a pass.

Is it a pass? It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass.

It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. It's a pass. New Zealand, C's get degrees.

That's our motto. So just above us is Spain at 63. What? Just below us is Azerbaijan. Azerbaijan. Azerbaijan. Azerbaijan. God, that's that one...

Isn't that like the hidden away country? Don't they do like documentaries about it and everything's like massive horse statues and gold painted. Is that the one that David Ferry went to? Ferry, yeah. Dark tourist. Somebody else went there. Didn't. I've seen some behind the curtains.

That's crazy. Yeah. Looks nuts. By Armenia and Georgia. So they've actually got the same rating as us, and so does Bangladesh. And what did you say it was? A 62.

So that's a D. Oh, is it? Now, that was our food rating. Ds don't get degrees. Ds do not get degrees. We'll be back in a couple of weeks. We've got a couple of cockroaches and some mice poo by the sounds of it.

Yeah. So at the bottom of the list, just below United Kingdom at 49, there's some mice poo by the sounds of it. Yeah. If it's got a D. At the bottom of the list. Yep. Just below United Kingdom at 49. They've got shit weather though. Wait, at the bottom. They're at the bottom. Unhappy.

Like, well-being is rough. You go to the bottom three. They're always whinging though, aren't they? Poms always whinging. Third to last is South Africa with 50. They love a whinge, the Poms. Third to last is South Africa with 50 out of love a winch, the Poms. Third to last is South Africa with 50 out of 100. What?

49 is the United Kingdom. And fourth with a score of 48 out of 100 for well-being is Uzbekistan. That's not good for the UK to be there with Uzbekistan. I have high expectations of the Stans. No, I know. Because of all sorts going on. Because of such a turbulent history. Totally.

We should be. Who's at the top? You got the top? I've got the top, baby. It'll be bloody Norway. You've got Egypt, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, India, Yemen. Through no fault of their own, the people

I've met from the area are beautiful people. Very patient. But there's a lot going on. There's a lot of rot. India's in there. Yemen, Iraq, Ireland, Egypt. Anyway, we'll move to the top. You wouldn't have thought Ireland would be right down there.

I know. But again, probably cost of living as well. Yeah, totally. There's many factors. They're always quite similar to us, aren't they? Okay, let's move towards the top. Do you know who's got 69? Nice.

France. Nice. Classic France. Three-way. France. Okay, I'll give you your... One, two, three, four. Your top five. Okay, go. With a score of 85. It's joint fourth and fifth,

is Malaysia and Panama. Well, well, well. It's the hats, the cigars, and the food. Yeah. And third is Tanzania with 88. Tanzania? I know. I mean, good on them.

It's wild. Is it because they didn't take into account just their thoughts? Like,. Is it because they, I don't know, because it didn't take into account just their thoughts. Like, you know, some people, they don't have a lot, but they're happy with what they've got.

Yeah. So, do you know what? The report runs counter to our common perception that wealth enhances wellbeing. We're happier around, other things make us happy. Yeah.

Okay, Tanzania. Second is Sri Lanka. Yeah. It's 89. And in first place with a score of 91 out of 100 for wellbeing. Sri Lanka. Yeah. 89. And in first place with a score of 91 out of 100 for well-being. Sri Lanka people are quite hot. Can I just chuck that in there for a moment? I think a very underappreciated

nation when it comes to hot people. This isn't a hot nation report. But you're happy if you're hot. I would be happier if I was hotter. Yeah, if I was a little bit hotter, I'd be a little bit happier. Sri Lanka. Tea. Unusual animals because it's sort of like an isolated island. It's sort of India's Madagascar.

Amazing beaches. Amazing beaches, yeah. Hot people. And hot people. Nice beaches, hot people. What's there to be sad about? Tick, tick, tick. Number one, Dominican Republic.

Nice people, hot beaches. Speaking of hot people. Wonderful. No, well, you said nice people, hot beaches. Yeah, hot beaches. I think you meant hot people, nice beaches. Well, it's in the Caribbean. It's in the Caribbean. Nice people. Yeah, it, you said nice people or hot beaches. Yeah, hot beaches. I think you mean hot people or nice beaches. Well, it's in the Caribbean. It's in the Caribbean.

Nice people. Yeah, it is what you notice. Dominican Republic also always rates quite highly on penis size when we've done those. That would make me happy too. Big Willie, happy people. Yeah, that would make you happy, wouldn't it? And it would make the rest happy.

I think everybody in the room is happier with the Big Willie. But it's all of those countries, the same thing. Like, people don't have a lot. And you notice that around Central America. They live very basically. And there are rich around Central America, they live very basically. And there are rich people. Totally. Certainly at one end,

but there's not a huge middle class like there is in countries like here. They live in very basic houses, but they're all happy. They looked at so many factors. One of the factors they looked at is like family relationships. And a lot of these countries up high

have really tight, close family relationships. They spend a lot of time countries up high have really tight close family relationships. They spend a lot of time together. They live together for longer feeling nice and close to their family. Living with older generations and what not. So you need to move back in with Patsy and Craig. That'd be so nice. That'd be good eh?

Washing, hot meals. That'd be so nice. That'd make me happy. Lipgloss. Hit it, Vaughn. What do you reckon? Silly little boy Silly little boy Silly little boy Lip gloss Hit it Vaughn What do you reckon? My lip gloss is popping Well lip gloss is back in such a big way It's like one of the hot makeup trends

For many many years we were rocking matte We were going matte lip Matte lip, matte cheek And now we're getting shinier and shinier And now lip gloss is shinier and shinier. And now lip gloss is back. And it just reminds me of the 90s. Yeah, it's a cycle.

The wind blows. It's like, it'll get stuck in your lips. You've got to, like, smear it off. Bit of dust. Yeah. I don't know. And it's terrible to kiss someone wearing lip gloss. Oh, yeah, sticky. Super sticky.

Sticky yicky. 38% of people say, yay, love it. Really? 62% said, not for me. Oh, okay. Louise, I live in Wellington. Lip gloss isn't an option with this wind. Maybe that's why I hate it.

Is it your hair gets stuck in it? Yeah, it literally just like, it's like glue. Right. Okay, so that's not happening. I love it, but I always forget to wear it, says Rebecca. Okay, well. Yeah. Maybe set an alarm.

Lip gloss alarm. Every morning. It's like having lolly juice on your lips. Yeah. Yuck. Carolyn says, I've never liked lip gloss, but my husband has them stashed all over the house and in the cars just in case he needs them. I think she's thinking of lip balm. Oh, Fawn.

Actually, who are we to say the gender norms of wearing lip gloss? If your husband likes it, a big pink shiny lip. I mean, I'm a big fan of lip balm. Absolutely. You're the most prominent lip balm user it'll be a big, pink, shiny lip. I mean, I'm a big fan of lip balm. Absolutely. You are the most prominent lip balm user that I'm aware of. Yeah. Me too.

Got to protect the lips. Ruby says, Lip balm, yes. Lip gloss, no. Too sticky. Natalie, I love it, but I also never wear it. As soon as I put it on,

I'm suddenly parched and need a drink out of a water bottle and the application was pointless. Pointless. Quick to put on and it gives a fresh dewy look. All for it, says Mira. Okay. She likes the wet look.

Julie, I won't let the Wellington wind win. Yeah, a lot of Wellington listeners. Yeah, they get it. Yeah. Shut up. They don't want it sticking to their faces. No, too sticky. Marlborough is mostly windy and I don't fancy the hair attached to my lip

I tell you what the wind is it just an indoor event kind of thing it's definitely just an indoor Instagram thing

yeah it is not practical get it on get your little pickies and then wipe it straight off yep straight off putting it under the wind it's a little

play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley well price hikes. Every day we're getting told of a new price hike.

And now Netflix is like, guess who's putting up their price again? And we're like, is it you? Didn't they just put it up? Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying. I feel like it was last year. They were like, end of last year. We're changing the pricing.

Yeah, it's changing again. It's the most expensive for sure. And sure, it's got a massive catalogue, but come on. We can't keep paying like this. Why don't you just jump back into Netflix? I maybe got rid of it for like four or five months. Right. Because I was just kind of scrolling through and I was like,

I just can't find anything to watch and bit over this. And I've got like, you know, when you've got like three or four different streaming services you can what do you do do you cancel like or do you just like go pause yeah you cancel it but your account's still there right so then I just went through and I've been binging like so much on neon and then once I've kind of exhausted I mean you can't exhaust everything but you by the time you've done that four or five months there's so many more shows for you on Netflix. I also feel there's shows that you would watch, but because if you've got multiple ones,

there's too much choice and you bounce around. Yeah. But if you just had one, you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll watch that next. And oh, yeah, I'll watch that next. And I'll watch that. You'd take the choice away. I reckon it's a way to go. Just do like one for like a few months.

I'm going to have to start doing it. I've got them all. Yeah. Because otherwise it is. I've got them all. Yeah, because otherwise it is. I've got them all too. It's $24.99. That's what it's going to cost. So the basic one, which is just one screen at a time, standard definition.

Yep. That's going from $12.99 to $14.99 a month. Which is, that would be fine if you're just on your phone, right? Yeah, that's fine. If you're only ever watching on your phone. The standard plan is two screens at a time and high definition. That's going from

$18.49 to $20.99. It's like $21. Going from $18.50 to $21. The premium plan, which allows four screens, ultra high definition, 4K. Yeah, that's what I've got.

Dolby Audio. If the people who made it gave that as an option Because sometimes you'll be like Why doesn't this look great I thought I was paying for the high Ultra high definition But it wasn't made in ultra high definition

Yeah It is going from $25 to $28 That's what I've got $28 Yeah $50 a month It's getting up there It's cheeky.

So it wasn't Netflix that changed at the end of last year. It was October 2021. Oh. What? Crazy, eh? It feels way more recent. It feels literally like last year. Was it Prime went up?

Neon went up? Oh yeah, it was actually Prime that went up at the end of last year. Prime went up because Prime used to be like $10. It was so cheap. Yeah. Even cheaper than that. I'm sure when I first got Amazon Prime, it was $6 a month. Yeah, it was, yeah. Don't tell Jeffrey Bezos.

And now... Disney went up. Neon went up. Everything's gone up. But that's the thing. They're all struggling to make the content. Pirate Bay's gone up. Pirate Bay.

Yeah, Pirate Bay. The only thing about Pirate Bay, which I went to the other day for the first time in ages, because I wanted to watch something. No, it wasn't on any streaming service. It's a shambles now. So I downloaded a handbag. Yeah.

It is impossible to get where you want to go without closing down a thousand pop-ups of women who apparently are within 0.3 kilometre of me, which is insane. Who knew these old grannies were desperate for it? And they're in my neighbourhood, and all they want to do is be serviced by a young stallion such as me. Yeah. And the only one I can think of is Norma next door, and she's like 90, and I don't think it's her. No, it's not her.

Well, it says grannies. Grannies within 300 metres of you. I know, and she's the only one. They're wanting it. What? But it was impossible to get anywhere. It was just constantly like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. But I mean, that's the thing, right?

It's free, so. Do you know what's crazy, though? Do you remember when we used to pay like $100 a month for Sky? And then like Netflix and that came along and it was like $14. And you're like, okay, buy Sky. But now you've got all of these added up as what you were paying for Sky. I reckon I pay over $100 on subscriptions. I've got Neon, Disney, Apple, Hey You, Netflix, Prime.

And the Warriors are about to start again. I just got YouTube Premium. That's seven viewing. YouTube Premium is the most expensive. That's like 26 a month. It's just gone up two. I'm turning that off. Because YouTube's struggling.

Yeah. Hard to get content. Give me strength. Hard to get content. Give me strength. You know, I have been recently saying I have an affair brewing in me that I sort of have a rumbling in my tummy to have a very... An itch to scratch. ...sourcy affair. Which your fiancé knows about.

He knows that I'm tickling the idea of having an affair behind his back in front of his face. To me, though, that's not an affair, though, is it? That's a whole pass. That's got all the qualities of it other than the deceit. Yeah. Because I'd be up front with it. Yeah.

Well, apparently I'm already having a micro one. I'm micro cheating on him with you two. How? Because of our workplace behaviours that a human behavioural expert says is micro-cheating. Is it because we had a hug the other day at the airport? Well, I did straddle your thigh. Now, that was probably crossing a line. I'll admit it.

I'd say it was. But I was Volneys and I wanted human connection and you were the only offer. So apparently, according to this expert, whose name is Eldon, they say a number of seemingly innocent... Eldon. Eldon. The leader of the chipmunks.

No, it's Alvin. This is a D. This is a very interesting change in direction from Alvin and the chipmunks. They've gone from singing covers... To doing human behaviour advice. Yeah, therapy and advice. Well, Alvin and the chipmunks say that a number of seemingly innocent work habits could actually be really damaging to your partner.

Why is he saying this? Because. This is, there's no problem and he's making a problem. This is like that book, he's just not that into you. Where a whole bunch of guys who were just happily cruising along in relationships all of a sudden had dramas on their hands because of some dumb book. This is exactly what this is. Because he's saying that some of the biggest signs

that you are micro-cheating, career-based micro-cheating, they're calling it. Okay. One of them involves splashing hard-earned cash on your workmates, including buying them coffees. Which we will take turns. I do that regularly. Won't we?

I'd say I'm pretty heavy-handed. She does more than everybody. Yeah. And you'll take turns. We'll take turns. We'll do that regularly. Won't we? I'd say I'm pretty heavy handed. She does more than everybody. Yeah. And you often, you'll often pass. I don't, yeah. Every now and again I'll do a coffee. You'll often pass. Yeah.

But whenever I shout a coffee, apparently it's disrespectful to Aaron. It's disrespectful even though the coffee is from a cafe. Your first stop, great things are brought. I know. Yeah. I've done all those today. Even though. I thought I'd give them a freebie.

Chuck and Freebie. I'm a company man. You are. I'm not making Yeah, I've done all those today. Even though. I thought I'd give them a freebie. Chuck and a freebie. Because you know I'm a company man. I'm not about making this. I've done all of them today, but thank you for that. Okay. Don't clear my job. So, as innocent as this behaviour may seem, you need to watch out for regularly spending money on your colleagues,

such as buying them coffee every day or treating them to cheeky drinks at the pub after work. No, we don't go to the pub after work because we finish at nine. No. I'd be keen today though, I feel. You've got a pub brewing in you? I've got a breakfast beer brewing in me. They say it could be seen as disrespectful to your partner

because I'm buying gifts for the boys in my life. This is silly. Can you imagine Aaron ever getting upset about this? No, but buying a coffee is one thing, but buying someone, I don't know, a bracelet or some jewellery, that's over the line. The other ones are slightly more obvious. Let's not put her off buying bracelets.

You want a bangle, babe? You want a bangle? I've got a dainty wrist. I'd love a bangle. Yeah, you would, yeah. So other behaviours slightly more obvious includes like flirtatious behaviour. Now, I've definitely worked with people in the past

and there's been a flirty banter and it's easy because you're there. But there's not here. You should have seen me and Ursula on the set of Have You Been Paying Attention? Far out. You'd think we were sleeping together. I averted my gaze. I know, he couldn't even look.

I averted my gaze from the gaze. Yeah, exactly. So flirty behaviour which lingering touches. Now we will refer again to me straddling your thigh in the Kauri Lounge in Christchurch. I'd call that a lingering touch. Genital to thigh. A lingering touch.

It was something else. And I wasn't wearing, I was wearing shorts. He was wearing shorts too, so there were less layers. I had to get a wet wipe. Just a disinfectant COVID wipe. Oh, right. Just to be safe. Just to make sure he was really clean. He says it's crossing

the line, all this flirty behaviour we're having at work. So we need to shut down our flirts, guys. No coffees for workmates. It's micro-cheating. No more of our lingering touches. You two, always going for a lingering touch. Sometimes I'll pop a cheeky finger up Vaughan's

bum. No more of that. I won't say I linger there. I actually asked multiple times for you not to and you kept saying micro-cheating, micro-cheating. Your body said a different thing. You know, your body said it differently. Exciting day. It happens every year.

Well, other than COVID years, but we don't talk about those anymore. I don't want to talk about it. No. I don't want to talk about it. But the New Zealand International Comedy Festival with Best Foods Mayo is back in New Zealand. We've got international artists. We've got local artists. And we are honestly privileged.

We're so lucky that she's managed to join us this morning. And I tell you what, she is looking good. Great to have you in studio this morning. Hayley Sproul, welcome to the studio. Oh my God, thank you so much for having me. It's me, Hayley Sproul. Great to be here. And I just want to say huge fan of ZM. Great stuff. I want to say I'm a long-term listener. Yeah. I would say it's really gone better in the last couple of years. And I think it's really found its niche.

But happy to be here. Okay, yeah, right. Yeah, happy to be here. Now, this is your, how many shows have you done? Which one are you? I'm Fletch. Right. I always thought you were Fletch.

Yeah, me too. And we used to work together. Yeah, did we? Yeah. Right. I always thought you were Fletch. Yeah, me too. And we used to work together. Did we? Yeah. Right. On that TV thing. On that TV thing, yeah. I'm still not stoked about how you got us cancelled.

But anyway, that's in chat. I didn't do that. Wow. That's crazy. Or Vaughan told me that you got drunk and had to go out the TVNZ commissioner. And then we were decommissioned. Now, I believe it's the commissioner's job to commission things. Did I? And also to decommissioned. Now I believe it's the commissioner's job to commission things and also to decommission them.

So you're having to fall back on another comedy show to earn a living. What are you doing this year at the Comedy Fest? Yeah, well that's my only income at the moment. I'd love a job in radio, but they seem to be taken up. So if you ever don't want to be the girl on the show,

hey, hey, watch it. Hayley ever don't want to be the girl on the show hey hey watch it Hayley don't come for my job it's me Hayley from radio don't you dare do that you can't have my job I love it here fine okay well I'll stick to doing comedy yeah I've got a new show in the comedy festival this year it's called Wild Flutters it's all about the world of erotica

because I don't know if you know this but a lot of people are really of erotica because I don't know if you know this but a lot of people are really loving erotica at the moment. Our Hayley. I actually have. You should join Hayley's Horny Book Club. Oh my god. Tell me more about this. She's having real jacket issues.

Is it too hot? Is it too cold in here? Comedian Hayley Sproul. Do you want to take your jacket off? I reckon just leave the jacket off. Yeah I'll take my jacket off. Okay. So, yeah, we've got, because I'm actually also into the world of erotica at the moment and I've got a book club as part of the show.

What I'm just thinking. What? Hayley, comedian Hayley. How's that for Vaughan? Hayley, Radio Hayley. Yeah. Has an affair brewing. I do.

And I'm thinking, I'm kind of getting a little bit of, between the two of you, a bit of tension. A bit of sexual tension. A bit of sexual tension, yeah. And now you're both into the smart stuff, into the horny books.

Can I be honest? Please, honesty is the best policy. Yeah. I, there's no denying, Hayley, comedian, that you are like incredibly beautiful, fit, hot, and like honestly, one of the best racks I've seen in years. Thank you.

I grew them myself and they're phenomenal. But for me, you are just a little bit girly and probably not boyish enough. That's fair. I also like the boyish lesbians. Actually, you know who's just arrived? Who's just arrived? Hayley from Bake Off. Oh my goodness.

No my, hi to my everybody. Welcome. How is this season going? There's four contestants left for tomorrow night's episode of Bake Off. I know. Sorry to cut your lunch here. No, absolutely fine, Hayley. No, no, speak away. I've been watching Bake Off. Absolutely loving it. Isn't it great? No, absolutely fine, Hayley. No, no, speak away.

I've been watching Bake Off, absolutely loving it. Isn't it great? No, my hearty my contestants. Yes, there's only a few more episodes left of Bake Off. Thank you for bringing it up, Vaughan. It's one of my favourite seasons. I don't mean to be rude to Hayley Bake Off, but we're actually talking about the Comedy Fest.

I've double booked us again because here to talk about the Marching nationals this weekend is Hayley Sproul of Lockheel Marching Club. Team Holt. Hi, everybody. Hi. I just wanted to, thank you so much for the opportunity. And Hamilton this weekend.

Hamilton this weekend. It's the New Zealand Marching Nationals. Sorry, sorry. We've got a lot of guests at the moment. We're just trying to juggle. Yeah, sorry. I'm also just trying to promote my comedy show, Wild Flutters, which is coming as part of the International Comedy Festival. I sort of thought I was the guest here.

And let's not forget Bake Off tomorrow night. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Girls, stop fighting. Stop fighting. Stop fighting. This is my radio studio. Calm down. Okay, anyway, well, I'm Bake Off, Hayley, and I'll leave

because there's a few more episodes to go. Yeah, maybe we'll have you back. Yeah, yeah, I'll come back for the finale. Okay. All right. Bye, guys. Bye. On your marks we'll have you back. Yeah, I'll come back for the finale. Alright, bye guys. Bye. On your marks, get set, bake! Okay, Nationals

is in Hamilton. I believe it's at Claude Lynn's starting on Friday and Saturday. That's in March. Fantastic, yep. I'm going to right turn and I'll leave. Comedian Hayley. Good luck to the team. Good luck to the teams, especially Royal Command, my team. Goodbye. Okay. Quick, march!

God, those women are hot. It's getting a bit much. Anyway, comedian Hayley is doing a show in the comedy festival called Wild Flutters. It's on sale today, as is all tickets for the comedy festival. I think it's launching at midday. And my show is in Wellington at Te Awa Ha Theatre and at Kew Theatre in Auckland.

Oh my God, from the time machine from 2006. It's emo, Hayley. Hey. Hey. What? What? Kill my weight. I actually just came in to announce

that it's the 20th anniversary of Evanescence's Fallen album and so just wake me up wake me up inside okay okay baby Hayley Sproul

comedian thank you so much for joining us this morning I feel like I didn't get to push my show enough but I'm just grateful to be here Wild Blooders

where can people get tickets you go to the comedy festival go to comedyfestival.co.nz so we can get all tickets for the comedy festival fantastic and just again huge fan.co.nz so we can get all tickets for the comedy festival. Fantastic. And just again, huge fan of the show.

Honestly, I just think the three of you, it's just really lifted in the last couple of years. It's just really been a great show. Thank you so much. Okay, thanks guys.

Bye. Okay, excellent. Wow, that was chaotic, eh? She's a bit much, eh? I would say she's a bit much. Now, a quick whip around. We were all children once? Yes.

I barely remember it, though. But you were. There's photographic evidence. There is a small child. Everybody was a child once. Okay, great. Well, I've got two children. Do you?

Who are in the school system. Do you still like them? Love them dearly. Wow. I thought they would grow old on me. Do you know what I mean? I'm in the school system. Do you still like them? Love them dearly. Wow. Yep. I thought they would grow old on me. Do you know what I mean? Haven't been sick of them yet.

Well, suspensions, or like being stood down is I think what they call it now. Yes. Right. Up, up, up. Oh, really? Yep. The highest number in 20 years of records. I got detentions, but I was never suspended or expelled.

Were you? No, I never got suspended, but I was very close and I was always on report. You know, at the end of each class, you had to get your teacher to sign a thing. And your parents had to sign at the end of the day. And it would last like a week.

And all your teachers had to be like, she was good today. Wow, I don't remember that. Is that a private school thing? Maybe. You'd always have to at the end of the class be like I'm on report and hand them the report and if you'd been naughty they'd say. So you had to be good for a week. Kind of like probation

right? Yeah a little bit. As if you were being disruptive too much. The minute my, remember your name got written on the board? Yep. That was your warning. Marks beside it. And then one cross at Morrinsville College. One was 15 minute detention. Two was the full detention. Yeah.

And then the third, that was a big, you were in, that was you, you were in. Yeah. Your goose was cooked. Okay. Goose was cooked. As we used to say. Any of the producers, were you suspended? No suspensions there.

Jarrod, I feel like Jarrod might have been. No. Darrys, I reckon. Darry might have been. Durries, I reckon. No, I got pretty close a few times. I was the first person at my school's history to have their unsupervised study periods turn into supervised study periods. Yes, yeah.

Durries, because of the Durries? A lot of wagging. Here's the reason. It's up. To give you kind of a rough percentage, 3.3% of students were stood down. Wow. That's high, right? That's a lot. It's up. To give you kind of a rough percentage, 3.3% of students were stood down. Wow. That's high, right? That's a lot.

That's high. That's a lot. 25,167 stand downs in 2022. They don't have the 2023 information yet. This is released by the Ministry of Education. It's up. The main reasons were fighting. Yeah.

The biggest number of physical assaults on other students was the single highest cause of a stand down accounting for 29% of all cases. Do we blame TikTok for that? Because, you know, you want a TikTok fight video. Oh, yeah.

Smoking, vaping, and alcohol were the second. Alcohol? Yeah. Why? Because it's high school. Yeah.

Included. It's the closest I came to getting stood down espresso martinis at lunchtime. Oh, you were always in the shake. You'd go down the back of the field and you could just hear Fletcher shake it. He always had the tricks and the flips and stuff

with the tumblers. There's a real cocktail class back there. So 13 to 14-year-old boys are most likely to get stood down. It's a tumultuous time. Oh, they go going through it. Don't make excuses. Bullshit. He's boys being boys.

It's just boys being boys. Now that I'm a girl, Dad, the boys being boys thing, don't wash. Totally. Don't wash. Even though you were a boy being a boy. Okay, if their boys are being boys to my girls, am I allowed to be a man and go in there

and absolutely kick the ass of a 10-year-old? Because I will. Yes, I believe that. I'll waterboard the prick. Whoa! You know those bubble taps outside? I'll turn one of those on. I'll get a tea towel over his face.

I'll waterboard him. I'll Guantanamo Bay you if you boys will be boys. Wow. Stand for that nonsense. At all. So there you go. Yeah, they're up. They're up the highest in 20 years of records.

That is insane. Yikes. So give them a kick in the ass, I reckon. But I want to know what you were suspended for this morning. Okay, yes. I love this. Someone texted saying, I got, quote, invited to seek alternative education for my last year of high school.

So it's like, I'm not firing you, but I would like you to leave. You're welcome to quit. The writing is on the wall. Yes. Would you like it to look better on your resume that you resigned? Yeah.

Which sometimes is hard to do. Like you might be in a town where there's only a couple of high schools or there could only be one high school. Oh, if it's your last year, I think they're going like, maybe you should go work. Yeah. Go overseas, grow up. You're not going to uni, don't bother. Yeah, if it's your last year, I think they're going like, maybe you should go work. Yeah.

Go overseas, grow up. You're not going to uni, don't bother. Yeah, exactly. Get a job. See you later,

mate. I don't want to know. I don't want people to run up and be like, oh, kick someone's face in. I want the weird reasons people were stood down.

Right. Yeah, right. We had someone put a frozen fish in the wall at our school. That's a good story. Yeah, that's a good story. Frozen fish in the wall at our school. That's a good story. Frozen fish in the wall. Someone said, I'm a primary school teacher.

The alcohol stand downs are not just high school. Primary school kids bringing booze? How is a nine-year-old getting an espresso martini shaker? I'll never forget when Christabel brought a KGB over to my house. Oh, my gosh. Did you guys drink it? We were 12. And she came over for a sleepover. I was such a good girl. Oh my gosh How old? Did you guys drink it? We were 12 And I

And she came over For a sleepover I was such a good girl I remember once Someone gave me Those little chocolates With alcohol in it And I said

No no no I'm not a kid I can't eat that Good girl eh What happened? And then Krista We were in sleeping bags Down in the lounge

And she was like Do you want to drink this? And she pulled out It was a KGB Oh yuck It would have been warm Yeah it did It would have been

In her sleeping bag Like all day Did Krista End up getting expelled Or stood down? No No she didn't She didn't Yuck, it would have been warm. Yeah, dude. It would have been in her sleeping bag, like, all day. Oh, gross. Did Christabel end up getting expelled or stood down? No. No, she didn't. She didn't. School stand-downs, expulsions are at an all-time high.

And we're asking you why you were stood down from school back in the day. These are wild, my dudes. I love it because we didn't want violence. That's horrible that that's even in schools. No. We wanted the weird, like, silly, you can look back now and be like, what was I thinking reasons you got stood down? And man, we're getting so many messages. I'm not surprised that that number's at 3%.

I love, can I read this? Not expelled, but detention for writing out the lyrics to Baby Got Back and sending them as notes to my friends. The teacher's name was Becky. And I tell you what, she had back, if you know. Yeah, the song does mention Becky. Becky got back. Oh my God, so many.

And we're hearing from lots of people who work in the primary school sector who are saying it's not just, we've had alcohol stand downs at our school. What? Wild A. And vaping, they said, because it didn't exist. Yeah.

And that's so much easier to get. Did you see that Fair Go story? No. These kids, they did it as a test, were ordering vapes online and they were just getting like dropped off at their house and they were 12.

And the kid that answered the door and took the vape was like young, no one checked it at any stage. Oh my goodness. So there's lots of vaping reports. I went to a semi-racist private girls school.

Now... Semi-racist? Are we dipping a toe in racism? That's to a semi-racist private girls' school. Now... Semi-racist? Are we dipping a toe in racism? That's like a semi-religious private school. Yeah. There's just a little bit of racism in the morning. We just get it out of the way with a morning bit of racism. Yeah, period.

I was suspended for a week and then gated for eight weeks. That's apparently a boarding school thing. Oh, that's when you're not allowed to leave? Is that what gated means? Four, my Maori boyfriend giving me a kiss on the cheek in public as my principal drove past and I was in uniform. Oh, naughty. Other people were caught doing the same thing.

Didn't get nearly as much as me. Yeah, that's not on, is it? A guy shat in a urinal and his mate videoed it and they posted it. Got 500 likes in about an hour, which the teacher saw. See ya, five days off school. Ha ha. Shat in a urinal. See ya, five days off school. Ha ha. Shit.

All right, keep your messages coming in. We'll get to more of those next. We're talking about why you were stood down. I laugh at this one. I once got suspended in primary school because I bit, not hard, no blood was drawn, a girl because she wouldn't let me see her horse. I bit a girl.

I was a wonderful child. My aunt was the principal. Imagine having to stand down your niece. Yeah. The biting. I got stood down because I pushed another fully clothed student who couldn't swim apparently into the deep end of the pool. I got detention on my first day at a new school

for not picking up rubbish that someone had dropped beside a bin. I had no idea that was a rule. I was confused. I mouthed off back and then got stood down. Great start. You're a strict school. Yeah. 30 years ago,

I was suspended for spitting at a teacher. But in my defense, I was already spitting when she walked in front of me. Right. Not my proudest moment looking back on it.

She got in the way. Oh, no. Yeah. I was at boarding school. I got stood down for walking to the dairy without signing out. My parents thought it was a joke, so I got a three-day holiday at home where they cared for me because they thought I was being picked on.

That's nice. That's nice. Our librarian was Mr. Fowler. We put a whole flock of chickens in the library. That's good from them. And he cried. No. Not Mr. Fowler. Not Mr. Fowler.

Sweet Mr. Fowler. We thought it was punny. The principal did not think it was punny. No. That is punny. I got stood down for making a software program that made school reports and then sold your own custom-made reports to students. When I got caught, the teachers didn't know if they were pissed off

or impressed with the ingenuity, but I got stood down. Wow, and now they're literally doing that with AI. Did you see this one? I pulled a girl's pants down in primary school. Was just meant to be a silly prank, but everyone got a flash of her Susan. Of her Susan? I've never heard it

called Susan before. Getting down-trailed, eh? That was the worst. The down-trails was... My kids have never mentioned it. I don't know if it's even still a thing. The down trails was, I don't, my kids have never mentioned it. I don't know if it's even still a thing. But down trailing was, the piece I let out of his mouth. Yeah.

Especially with track pants. But, if you got the undies as well, you felt terrible. Yeah. Terrible. That's the thing with, especially satin boxes.

They'd come down as well. They don't grip, do they? Yeah. Everybody saw Russell's doodle on the school bus when I down trailed him when he was getting on and I got in so much trouble and I apologise and I still feel bad about it

to this day. It was our last day of high school. We were running riot. My gay best friend was holding a pride flag and the principal snatched it out of his hand and said, that's too much. Meanwhile, he had hundreds of drunk students disrupting the school, but the gayness was over the line. He got banned from the school premises

after this. I drank a four pack of 8% wood socks and then went to cooking class to make pancakes. Those are like two drinks. I think if I had four 8% Woodstocks, I'd be absolutely... I wouldn't be cooking pancakes. Nah. I'd just be getting Uber Eats. Yeah.

At that stage, don't drink and fry. Emma, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, thank you. Welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughan will now ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. Awesome.

Good morning, Emma. Good morning. Could we have a little hum together just to get our vibrations in check? You start humming, I'll join in. I don't know if this works, Vaughan. One long hum. Okay, go. Hum.

Oh. We've broken the phone. We were in Shurn. Did you see when we went in Shurn? Yep. The phone was like, I don't know what to do with this perfect harmony. Yeah.

Okay. No, those were the spirits. Right. Coming through the lines. So now you are spiritually connected with Emma. Yes. Is that what you're saying? I am.

Okay, good. And now I'm going to work out her mum's name. Okay. Which we all know is ancient Egyptian Barbara. Witchcraft.

Janine. Okay. You're putting Janine on there. That was just a wild guess. I'm putting them both on there. Hey, maybe the spirits were shooting the answers and they missed me and they hit you is what I'm saying.

We always want a Karen for old times sake. Yeah, always has to be. How old is your mother? What year was she born? Happy birthday again. It's my mum's birthday today. Put your mum's name down, Christine. It's a classic.

It's a birthday. It's a tie. And her luggage arrived, in case you were wondering, at midnight last night. That's good. Lovely. Happy birthday, Christine. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, Emma. We'll pass it on. So how old's your mum? She was born in 1970, so 53. Oh, okay. So... Yeah, okay.

That's given you a good range of names, hasn't it? Yeah. Got a young'un. You got your Leases. Yeah, your Leases are starting to push in there and your Tracys. Hayleys. Diane. Diane. Hayleys. You got your Lisa's. Yeah, Lisa's are starting to push in there

and your Tracy's. Diane. Diane. Hayley's. Born in the 70s. Hayley's is late 80s, 90s. Yeah,

Hayley's comes in later. Don't call me a mother. Don't you dare. Joanne. Oh yeah, Joanne, that's a classic from that era.

Just go by Jo. Yeah. That's just how she rolls. Might go a Paula or a Sharon. A Katie. My Katie. Oh, my Katie. Oh, my Katie. We're rolls. My God, Paul or Sharon. A Katie. My Katie. Oh, my Katie.

We're royals, aren't we? Katie. Katie. Sue? Amanda? Oh, yeah, Amanda and put down Sue. Hilary? Yeah, Hilary. Sue. Hilary. My handwriting is atrocious. I think

I've got long COVID of the hand Oh it just went to the hand COVID Jackie? I'm putting a lot down based on age Let's get on to the next question Are you thinking of like hairdressers that are like I'm thinking of 50s, blonde, mints and cheese Yeah Chanel?

Nah too young I was wrong Okay next question What's mum's perfume? Yeah. Chanel? Nah, too young. Too young. No, I was wrong there. I was wrong. Okay, next question. What's mum's perfume? I think a perfume says a lot about a lady. Do you know what your mother wears as a perfume? Oh, no.

Maybe she's just a little child. Maybe it's Estee Lauder. Estee Lauder. Estee Lauder. Hello, Andrea. Andrea, yes. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a little child. Maybe it's Estee Lauder. Estee Lauder. Estee Lauder. Hello, Andrea. Andrea, yes. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one.

Andrea, on the Wendy. Wendy. Jenny. Have you got a Liz? I'll go with Liz. Go with Liz, yeah. Elizabeth. Or Liz.

But she wouldn't go by Elizabeth. No, she'd go by Liz. No, because she's casual. She's taking it easy. Tanya, do you have a Tanya down there? I just put Tina, so I might put a T Elizabeth. No, she'd go by Liz. No, because she's casual. She's taking it easy. Tanya? She's sitting with Tanya down there. I just put Tina, so I might put a Tanya. Yeah, okay. Tina and a Tanya.

Ah, Steph? Yeah, okay, that's a good, yeah. That's wild from you. Stephanie, you reckon that's too young? Steph, as if. Okay. Stephanie. Put her on your silly little list, but it's not right.

Might go Vanessa. Oh, yeah. That name was starting to come up through the ranks in the 70s, wasn't it?, but it's not right. Might go Vanessa. Oh, yeah. That name was starting to come up through the ranks in the 70s, wasn't it? Yes, it was. Okay. What are her siblings' names? Your mum's siblings.

Charlie and Robert. Okay. Kelly, Robert and Steph. Charlie and Robert. Kelly or Charlie? Charlie. Charlie. So she's the only girl.

Put Kelly down if you haven't already. Okay. Oh. Charlie. So she's the only girl. Put Kelly down if you haven't already. Okay. I want Kelly. Kelly and Charlie and Robert. I didn't have Kelly. Okay. Next question. Oh, yeah.

Got a Teresa on there. That would be that era. My brother-in-law's Robert and his sister's Teresa. So it only makes sense that it's on the list. Yeah, right. It's on the list. Next question. What's mum's favourite snack?

Oh, gosh. She doesn't really snack. Must be nice! Wow. I know. Why doesn't she snack? I did not hear that. Is she a fitspo mum?

A bit, yeah. Yeah, okay, wow. Oh, wow. No. Why doesn't she snack? She loves a cracker. Oh. A salty?

Oh, yeah. Okay, a salty cracker. Salty cracker. Who loves a salty cracker? Who doesn't? Have you got a Helen down there? I don't have a Helen. It'll go on the list. Patsy loves crackers, but

that's 10 years her senior. My mum, she's anti-cracker and she thinks they're a bit dry. Yeah, they are dry. You've got to make them wet, though. She's a chip. Okay, next question. Who's mum's email supplier? Who does she

have her, like, so-and-so at? Um, she's not super techno, but it's a business. Business name's after the at. Oh, okay. Right. So she's got the business name. So she doesn't have a personal email? No.

Okay. How good's that? Yeah, that's good. Because I saw a business the other day with... I'm out of office. I've been made for it, because she wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have done that. Right. Okay. How good's that? Yeah, that's good. Because I saw a business the other day with... I'm out of office. I'm a bit mad for her because she wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have done that. Okay.

Okay. Are those your five questions, Vaughn? Or do you have one more left? No, those are my five questions. Okay. All right. Well, you've got a lot of names on your list. You're going to have to go fast to get through these.

Like I said, my handwriting is atrocious. I'm going to struggle to read them all. Emma, Vaughn has 15 seconds now to guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughan, your time starts now. Janine, Barbara, Christine, Lisa, Tracy, Joanne, Paula, Sharon, Andrea, Jackie, Hilary, Sue, Amanda, Wendy, Jenny, Liz, Tina, Stephanie, Vanessa, Kelly, Teresa, Jane, Stephanie, Tanya, Helen, Patsy.

Stop, that's my mum's name. Helen. Is it Helen? I think you said it. I hope you said it. What's your name? Did you say Jane? I said Jane.

Yeah! Oh, my God, that was way down the list too. I thought we were dead end there. I've got a slow reaction. I couldn't do your five-second challenge. Surely not. Okay, well, congratulations. You've won $100 more and has guessed your mum's name,

and you've triggered the bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. One guess at dad's name. It has been done before. Of course. It's got to be Jane and Steve. Oh, Jane and Steve. Jane and Steve. It's definitely to be Jane and Steve. Oh, Jane and Steve. It's definitely not. Jane and John?

No. No. It's not the Beatles. We're thinking of the next generation of dads. Okay. Greg, Steve, Craig, Mark, Jane and Steve. Jane and Mark? Nah, Jane and Steve. Greg and Jane? Steve just came straight away

to me. It's one syllable because they're always one syllable. Yeah. One syllable, Rob. Robert. Matt. What about Matt? Matt and Jane. Matthew?

Matt and Jane. Matt and Jane. It's not Matt. He wouldn't go by. Not in his 50s. Matthew, though. Timeless. Nah, Matt's getting up 50s. Matthew, though. Timeless. Nah, Matts are getting up there now.

Actually, I've got a few Matts in there. Matthew is our family name, so I've literally got one in every generation. Yeah. Okay. And the younger ones, they go by Matt or Matty. Matty or Matt. Not Matty.

That's younger again. Matt's your middle between your old Matthews and your Mattys. I'm feeling a John or a Steve. It's not John. It's not Jane and John. Okay. It's not John. Well, Vaughan, it Steve. It's not John. It's not Jane and John. Okay. It's not John. Well, Vaughan, it's not Steve.

You have to pick a name, and you've got one pick. Mark and Jane. It's because I'm thinking of Mark and Jana. Our friends, Mark and Jana. That's why. They're my friends. Younger, though. They're associates.

They're my friends. No, you said our friends. He said it. No, you said our friends. I said it. I say our friends. Yeah, you said our friends. He said it. No, you said our friends. Did I say our friends? Yeah, you said our friends. He said your friends while he was looking at you. No, you heard your own voice and thought it was Fletcher's.

Now, you've been working to get it to long. They're more friends with Hayley. What? They're more friendly with Hayley. I mean. Who wouldn't be? We'll have this debate off here. Who wouldn't be?

I'm delightful. Okay, Vaughan, lock in a name. Yeah, it's Mark and Jana. It's Mark and Jane. It's Mark and Jane. Emma, what is your dad's name? Yeah, it's Mark and Jana. It's Mark and Jane. It's Mark and Jane. Emma, what is your dad's name? Mark. Mark!

Are you kidding me? How do you do that? How do you do that? Are you kidding me? It's Mark and Jana. God damn it, I hate it. I hate it when you do this. I hate it. It was Hayley more than did it. It was Emma. It was Hayley's. More did it.

It was the hum. Emma, we know a couple called Mark and Jana who are very good friends of Vaughan's. And so when I heard Jane, and we're thinking of single names, I keep thinking Mark and Jane. Mark and Jana. I was so off with the Steve.

Matt was, I was going to go Matt until you, I felt really on the Matt and then the Mark next door. Yeah. It rolls well together. Don't feel bad. I used to be a teen witch you... I felt really on the mat, and then the mark next door, it rolls well together. Don't feel bad. I used to be a teen witch, so I do have powers. And I was hand-washed. Do you? I'm a reborn pharaoh.

Many tell us. Congratulations. Also, another $100, taking your winnings to $200. And the first time in a while that we've got both mum and dad's name. Well done. It was a great hum. It connected everybody at the start. Congratulations, Emma.

Thank you so much. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, Day, Day, Day. This week here at Fact of the Day. I don't think people know that, that we move studios for Fact of the Day. We do. We move into the Fact of the Day studio.

Yeah. Which is a much nicer studio. Despite the fact that Fact of the Day to the Fact of the Day studio. Which is a much nicer studio. Despite the fact that Fact of the Day has never had a corporate sponsor. I don't know how this is the nicest studio. By the way, that's madness, isn't it? What? That this beloved segment hasn't been absolutely doused in cash.

I've got to say it. Pure madness, my friend. Yeah, God, it's so good. New Zealand broadcasting stalwart hasn't been absolutely drowned in financial remunerations didn't someone try once

and he said no that was before I was all about making this company some hard cash feels like something he should have said yes to and now no one wants to do it. No, it wasn't because the year was 1936 and it was the Nazi party that wanted to sponsor Fact of the Day.

And I said, I don't have a good feeling about this. This is why you're a hero. I see things. Yeah. Before they ever see things coming. I take us out of the problem. So this week at Fact of the Day, we're talking about the origins of things,

but named after where they were invented. Today's hamburger. Will blow your mind. We've done dogs. We've done clothes today. We do do food, but it is not hamburger. Do do food. Do do food.

What? Do do food. Today we do do food. Today we do do do food. You're laughing because I said do do. Yeah, and then I laugh because Fletcher, they went do do food. Do do food. Don't eat do do's.

We do do the food. We do do food. Don't eat your dodos. We do-do the food. We do-do food. Don't eat your do-dos. So everybody knows Hamburg. Yep. The story behind the hamburger patty is that it was called a Hamburg steak because it was a cheap way of making a steak, and then it just got cut down to Hamburg, blah, blah, blah.

Frankfurter. Tick. Tick. This one I never questioned, no idea. Today we're talking about the wiener. We are talking wiener stock and wiener schnitzel. Is there a wiener in Germany? There is a Vienna in Austria.

Oh, my God, yeah. Because it is said Wiener schnitzel. The schnitzel of Vienna. Oh, but why do we call it wiener? Because it's the pronunciation of the W's and the V's. Yeah, I get it. Vienna. Vienna.

The hot Wiener. Wiener. It's the Vienna sausage. Oh, right. The Wiener. Okay. The Wiener is named after the super classy Austrian capital, Vienna. Vienna.

Yeah. I wouldn't have thought that. I grew up on Wiener schn, Vienna. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought that. I grew up on Wienerschnitzel. Yeah. Dude, we would have Wienerschnitzel, I reckon, once a week growing up. Yeah. I love a Wienerschnitzel. Crumbed.

Crumbed. Hells yes, we do. Double crumbed. Double crumbed. Flour. Must be nice. Flour, egg, breadcrumbs, back in the egg. Oh, yeah, okay.

Back in the breadcrumbs. Shallow fry. Wow. Don't bake it. No, we'd always have it shallow fried. Yeah, shallow fried. Bubbling away. In a big electric square frying pan made by Canberra or somebody.

Maybe, yeah, maybe. Yeah, now we're talking. So, yeah, zero, I've never questioned it. It's one of those things that you say it all the time, you never question it, but the wiener and wiener schnitzel and the wiener, if you're going to have like an American hot dog, some people call it a wiener.

A wiener. Ask them why a wiener. Yeah. It's named after Vienna. Amazing. In Austria. Amazing. I would not have known that unless I listened to FVH's Fact of the Day.

Fact of the Day. Which again, I will say, it's amazing that someone isn't like throwing cash at this thing. But again, I'm very picky. If you've got a bit of a hazy horizon in your business, like if you make missiles, I'm sorry. We're distancing ourselves. You'll have to pay the missile rate.

Oh, yeah. It's a higher rate. Much higher rate. Yeah. If your company's about to be used for war crimes. That's fair. Yeah. That's just the hill I'll die on, you know?

I'm here. So I'm taking money from a company that deforests the Amazon. That's fine. What do they put in there, though? Oh, just nothing. Townhouses. Townhouses. Townhouses and beef.

Yeah. Yeah. People have got to live somewhere. They've got to eat something. What do you want? There to be no cows? There to be no beef? That's madness. Have you seen how cute and delicious they are?

You want no schnitzel wiener? That's a double whammy. It's cute and then it's delicious. Not every animal can say that. Yeah. Chickens, for example. Not cute, but very delicious. Have you bought those things for your chickens,

those plastic hands? To your arms? Yeah. No. Oh, you should really do that because that would be so funny. I've got a bit of a crook chook at the moment. A crook chook?

Oh, one's going to die. No, no. Well, one did die. It was one of the new ones. You haven't got another prolapsed quacka? Quacka. No.

Because that thing looked like... Oh, yeah, that was not... That wasn't the cause of death. Right. Unknown cause of death on that one. But I've got one with a crook leg. Oh, no. I'm going to make it a splint.

Add some popsicle sticks. Right, okay. I don't know what happened. I think a goat stood on it. Anyway, today's fact of the day here on, it was named after where it was invented week. The Wiener schnitzel and the Wiener sausage are named after Vienna in Austria. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Play ZM. Normally we chat after the songs. This guy's leaning back, feet up, headphones not on. I haven't had my headphones on. I'm like, song's about to start. I'm doing some work over here, non-related radio work. Who else is gasbanging?

We just chat. We're just getting on. Gasbanging about it all. Anyway, here? We just chat. We're just getting on. Gasbanging about it all. Anyway, here we are. Hello. Hello. We're here. So professional.

So professional. I said to you that I wanted to talk about your eating ics because there's been a study done that looks at how, like, eating in front of a partner and how you receive eating and, you know, like, noises and bad etiquette and the stuff that just turns you off when people eat around you. I've got a list. There's 30 on it. Slurping.

I'll give you 10. The top 10 food turn-offs. Now, this is dining and eating. Right, so just things that happen at the table. 10, licking fingers instead of using a napkin. But, depends on what you're eating. Wings? Sticky ribs or Korean style sticky wings.

Oh, yum. Wibs or wings. But then would you at home, at home you'd lick your fingers, but if you were out with friends, say there was a table full of people. I'd lick my fingers. You'd lick your fingers.

I'd have a napkin as well for afterwards. I'd probably go wash. I'd wait till the end and I'd just go wash my hands once. I would go lick, lick, lick, lick, lick. Hopefully finger dipping bowl, napkin, then wash. Yeah. Number nine of the foodics was

criticising someone's cooking. Oh, God. Fletch, this is a bit bloody dry, isn't it? Oh, you wouldn't do that. If you imagine seeing your partner doing that, you're on a date and they start criticising the chef, you'd be like, yuck. Unless your partner's Turkish

and they've made the lamb very dry, it's fair to ask them to maybe pull it back a bit next time. What have you got against the Turkish lamb? Yeah. You've been all go this week. I don't have anything against lamb. The Turks do, apparently, because they keep drying it out.

Drying it right out. Number eight, licking a knife. I always lick a knife. My mum hates it. That was drilled into us as kids. As a kid, I did, but I don't do it anymore. I do it. Number seven, eating other people's leftovers without asking.

Oh, Vaughan does that. But that's like a dad thing. No, he asks. It'll be passed. Oh, you're right. Oh, Vaughan does that. But that's like a dad thing. No, he asks. It'll be passed. Oh, look at it. A dog looks at a... Like a golden retriever looks at food just like...

Until they're like, would you like some? I'm like... Number six, slurping. Slurping is the grimace. But sometimes in some cultures it's a sign of appreciation to the chef, so...

Who's that? I don't know. Number five, picking your teeth. Oh, you need me to just feel something in there? God, my dad does that. Pick your teeth straight after. Number four was spitting something back onto the plate. Oh, no.

That's not. No, don't do that. Yeah, but sometimes we get a big gristly chicken bit. Yeah, what do you do if you've got like a tiny bone or a gristly bit? Just get a napkin. Yeah. Not going, yuck. That is rude.

I've got to swallow this now. I hope it goes through. I do this quite badly as well, number three. Talking with a mouth full of food. Sometimes the conversation just can't stop. But the eating, I'm still hungry. Yeah. Here's your top two foodics.

Eating with your mouth hungry. Yeah. Here's your top two foodics. Eating with your mouth open. Yeah. And number one is being rude to waiters or wait staff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the worst. The bill. Clicking when people click.

Yeah. Anyway, we want to know what is your biggest eating turn off? Like when it comes to being on a date or maybe your partner's got something and that you're just like, oh, I can't. I'm leaving. I'm sure that you're not with your partner if they do this. I don't think you could be. No. Your partner could not house your number one food

because surely that's a deal breaker. Mine would be Aaron bringing crackers and snacks into the bed. Now I'm asleep and I'm hearing like I can just imagine him with a big box I'm asleep and I'm hearing like. I can just imagine him with a big box of crackers. And then it's like another, like a little break. He's so big, I'd imagine he'd have to have like a sack.

Yes, a whole box. Just my dude put them on a plate so that we're not dealing with the rapper noise. Just don't eat in bed. Don't eat in bed. It's a no-no. It's an absolute no-no. It's got other redeeming qualities. This is why you want to have your own bed, isn't it? Yes.

You can snack away, Hon, in the bed. Yeah. For sure. I walked into our bedroom the other day. Now, we've got lovely, expensive linen sheets. Yeah. Must be nice. It is.

I was like, you've eaten that leftover curry in this bed. You've eaten that curry. I can smell it. Curry in the bed. And I looked down the side of the bed. There's a bowl. Curry gone.

Next to the bed. He ate curry in bed. Any stains on the sheets? Because that's not, you're not getting. No, but it's not the point. The room. Smelled.

Smelled of delicious curry. Yeah, okay. Well, maybe you've been on a date and someone's done one of these things. Yeah, maybe you've been on a date and they were so rude to the waiter. That would be awful. Or they're slurping with their mouth open or they're licking the fingers and you're like, okay, this can't carry on. Whatever it may be. 0800

DALES at MSN number. Give us a call. You can text through 9696. What is your biggest eating turn off? Right now though, talking about those habits at the table. Yes. The eating habits that you can't stand. Yeah. There's been a big survey of people's biggest icks.

The biggest ick was the top two, eating with your mouth open and being rude to waiters. Now, Emily, your partner is a loud eater. Yeah, he is. But, like, not in the sense of, like, he chews with his mouth open. He's just a loud eater. He's got a cavernous gob and it goes around. And I'm partially deaf, so the fact that I can hear it tells you. Yeah, that's got to be loud.

Yeah, and because we did say that would be a deal breaker, but obviously not enough of a deal breaker because you're still with him. Yeah, the thing, so I sit in the eye with my headphones on, that's why. Every time he eats, you're like, I'm out, I'm leaving. He bought me, when he got his full-time job, because he was jobless when we met, he bought me these, they're like razor kitty headphones,

so they light up and they've got cat ears on them. So I sit at the table with him with those on my head and we eat together. Wow, and that makes it work. Wait, so you started going out with a guy who was jobless and ate loud and you stuck around? Amazing. I didn't know that he was, to be fair, I didn't know about the

eating in the first place, because when you're in a group setting, you know, people are talking and you can't hear it. Yeah, background noise. And then when we started, when we moved in together, I kind of noticed it's too fast and it's very quiet. You learn a lot once you move in together.

Emily, thank you for your call. Tori, what's the big habit that gets you? Oh, hey. So, it's sauce around the mouth, and it doesn't have to be just my partner. It's anyone. So it's like when you have a little bit of, like, tomato sauce

or, like, your big chicken wings, it just sits on the corner, and it honestly makes me want to vomit. Yeah. Sometimes I, like, attack. Well, not attack, but, like, I'll quickly, like, sneakily get the napkin, and then I'll just shot it at my partner's face.

I have to wipe it off, because he'll purposely leave it napkin, and then I'll just shot it at my partner's face. I have to wipe it off because he'll purposely leave it on there because he knows I hate it. Yeah, I do it to Aaron too. He'll, like, wind me up about it. Right. So having wings, watching him eat wings would be torture for you. It would be, and it's always on the same corner. I don't know.

It may be, like, one foot down, but it's always on the same side. It's got to slope your mouth and the sauce is running down. Tori, thanks for your call. Now, we've had a call through from Josh. Josh, hello. Hi. Now, we were just talking before about how Aaron, Hayley's partner, eats curry in the bed and crackers in the bed. And you've called him with your very own story about Hayley's Aaron.

Oh. I have. I was a management studentley's Aaron. Oh. I have. I was a management student at drama school. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Trauma. We were having our first meeting with the directors of the Solos project and Aaron was one of them.

Of course. He'd obviously skipped his lunch that day and for lunch that day he'd had an entire raw broccoli. So he got to our meeting and he'd finished most of the broccoli and it was just the stalk left. Yeah. And he'd like, this broccoli had been out of the fridge for like maybe two hours.

Yeah, it's limp. It was like a flaccid broccoli stalk. This broccoli had been out of the fridge for like maybe two hours. Yeah, it's limp. It was like a flaccid broccoli stalk. And he ate the whole stalk, didn't he? He did. We're these little first year management students trying to have a serious meeting and he's flapping around this broccoli stalk, gnawing on it. He doesn't do food management well, does he? He just doesn't get it.

He just doesn't know that that's not normal, Aaron. He just needs nutrients. And the delivery system is questionable. Look, we love him regardless, but my God. He eats raw pastas, curry in bed, and limp broccoli stalks. Yeah, he eats the ravioli straight out of the packet. Just crunching on a stalk. Josh, thank you for sharing that.

What about the icks that people give you when they're eating? A big survey found that the number one was being rude to wait staff. I don't think I've been rude to wait staff. Unless it's one of those ones where there's a table of, say, six. Now, if it's a table of two, no problem.

But if it's a table of six or more, they don't write it down Oh And then they come back They're like Sorry did you Boom Just write it down the first time

And I don't think I'm rude then But I do give them a look That says Maybe we should write this down Maybe you should have Written that down Maybe we should write it down Don't impress them

The worst I've had Is they've come back A third time Oh yeah First time And they walked away I was like There's absolutely no way They're going've had is they've come back a third time. Oh, yeah. First time. And they walked away. I was like, there's absolutely no way they're going to remember that. And they came back.

Just to confirm. And then had to come back another time just to confirm. But then sometimes they pull it off and you're like, how did you do that? That's very impressive. But more often than not, it doesn't happen. So we want to know your food, X. Someone said, for some reason when my partner eats, he starts breathing

like Darth Vader through his nose. So he'll be like... Oh no. Yeah, that's awful. That's not good. Licking fingers loudly. What about when people

pick up a hot drink and go... Oh yeah, but sometimes when it's too hot. I do that. Yeah, you do it too when it's too hot and you it's too hot? I do that. Yeah, I do that. Yeah, you do it too. When it's too hot and you know it, but I can't wait.

It's like eating something you know is going to be hot and you're like. And you try and get some air in. Why don't you just leave it? Why don't you just leave it? Because I want my name on it. Immediately. Somebody said they were in Japan and they were eating one of the most delicious ramen they've ever eaten in their life

And they weren't making any noise And the chef asked them if it was okay Because in Japan It's Japan Oh you make a noise It's compliments to the chef You're loving it, you can't get enough of it So you slurp

You can hear my sister's teeth banging together When she chews, she's chewing too hard You've gone through the food and to the other tooth. Yeah, that's going to be hard on your teeth. Yeah. Someone said not using a knife or fork properly or using them in the wrong hands or holding a spoon like a caveman. Now I have a

spoon man. Would that be like this? Like you were chiseling something. Kind of an upside down situation. Someone said my partner eats a lot of cereal. And he smashes it down in his bowl with his spoon to make sure it's all been submerged in milk. And he'll smash it down and it'll all be like, bang, bang, bang, bang. Let's call out Fletch and his worst eating habit is putting too much milk in the cereal.

Way too much milk in his porridge. And then he finishes the cereal, leaving the milk, and then he uses that as his trash bowl for the rest of the show. Yeah, right now it's got a peach stone in it. A couple of tissues in there. Oh, that's the grossest, when you put your tissues in,

you left them. Oh, Fletch. You can't be mad at this cuteness. Don't look at me with your cute face. I'm mad at you. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one.

Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.