ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th May 2024

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

House Smell  Top 6: All Nude Cruise  Silly Little Poll!  Ideal Movie Length  Gen Z Wedding Trends  Didn't Realise you were still paying for...  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, there you go. Make your bed. You'll be a millionaire in no time.

Yeah, but when we leave, our beds, our partners are still in them. I mean, that would just be rude. Last one up makes the bed. Yeah, that's the rule. But they still make the bed? Yeah. They don't. This will be why you've got a huge mortgage and you're not millionaire. No, my bed gets made every

morning and I've still got a huge mortgage too. Yeah, but that means her wife will be the millionaire not you because she made the bed. Well, I'm married to her so that's our money. She... I didn't want to say this. She does have a bank account. She's keeping...

Oh, damn it. I knew it. I bloody knew it. You have a giant tub of vitamin C's and you sound like you're... I've had one. You've been clogged up for... Every six weeks, I must get a cold.

I must get a cold. That is simply my life stanza. I wonder if your gut health is okay there. It's not. It's obviously not. Yeah, right. I reckon my gut health is a cesspool of screams. Yeah.

I just want to wish you good luck, Fletch, to be existing in this studio with two sick co-hosts. It's a real incubator of bugs, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, I've been a bit snotty, but other than that. I also said this before Vaughan arrived, which is I'll get a cold, but it'll last two days. Yep.

We reckon Vaughan, it'll kill him for the week. Yeah, it's a week. It's a week. Aaron's saying it lingers forever. Yeah, why does it linger? Friday was when it got its claws in. Right. And over the weekend, it hung around.

So, God, it can go any time it wants now. The top six is coming up. There is an all-nude cruise. A new nude cruise. Ten days. You get on, your clothes come off, and they stay off for the whole time. Everything you can do on that cruise ship,

you can do naked. Oh, I'd chafe. I've got the top six things you'd see on a nude cruise. It's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though, a tradie had his first day and a bit of a dilemma. One of life's great questions. If you're going to be a tradie, and he asked the internet, because he didn't want to get teased on the first day on the work site.

No one wants to get teased on the first day. Is it Red Bull or V? Is that the question? That's also a very good question. Or pie or sausage roll. Sausage roll. Yeah. We've got to go two sausage rolls, otherwise one pie is... Yeah.

Surely that's the currency conversion. No. This is all about the clothing, though. Tis. Tis. Tis. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

A lad in Australia. It's his first job in Australia. I don't know where he's from. There is a Scottish flag. Oh, yep. But that might be referencing something else. On TikTok, Eve, his partner, has put up a video of him in the high-vis section of Kmart.

Oh, yeah. Point of view, he's nervous about selling his first job in Australia tomorrow and doesn't know what colour to get. You've got your orange and you've got your yellow. And it is the great tradie question. What high-vis colour are you going to go? Pink. There's pink as well.

Is there pink? Is there blue? I've never seen a blue in any of the high-vis sections. Probably you can, but it's probably a harder get. It's either fluoro yellow or fluoro orange. What about, is there a green? Like more of a greeny? Nah, the yellow's quite green based.

Probably if you go to like Blackmore's or like a proper safety store, you might want a green. That's a real power play though if you're going niche. Yeah. If you're going boutique. If I was a tradie, I'd be a yellow, a fluoro yellow guy. See, I was going to say I feel like, I don't know why I'm thinking of it in this way,

but I feel like orange is sexier. But for me, you think I'd be yellow or orange? You can really work any of those colours. Thank you. Those beautiful bright eyes of yours. Whereas you have both? I've got both, but I prefer orange. I think you're orange.

He's an orange. Because it kind of goes with your orange beard. Yeah, pings the orange. You've got ting, but I prefer orange. I think you're orange. He's an orange. Because it kind of goes with your orange beard. Yeah, it pings the orange of... You've got tinges of orange there. Tinge of ginge. Sweetie. Well, I'm already not feeling well. Why are you guys kicking me while I'm down?

No, we're just saying you've got a ginger... Face full of ginger pubes. Why are you offending? Face full of greasy ginger pubes. What's the problem? And the ginger ones in the middle have started going grey, and then the grey's spreading. Yeah.

You're going to be a polar bear soon. Cute. Yeah. Moving up a demo in the gay world. Yeah. Really?

Is it a ranking? I believe so, yeah. Oh, that's nice. I'm looking forward to that. I didn't know this would be an anxiety in the trade world. I haven't thought of it. Of course.

Yeah. I'd wear pink. Especially if I was a big burly dude rocking up in the pink. You'd wear pink. Especially if I was a big burly dude, rocking up in the pink. If you did pink, you'd be really making a statement. But most tradies just wear the free Bunnings or Mitre 10 t-shirts.

Placemakers. Love a trade t-shirt. We've got a yellow placemakers fluoro left over by a builder and Aaron loves it. Is he wearing it? Like he made it his? left over by a builder, and Aaron loves it. Does he wear it like he made it his? Leave it at our house.

It's ours now. Okay. Yeah, I'm just having a look. I just Googled for fun New Zealand tradies. Now, I will say the female tradies look great in an orange. Okay. I think I'm orange. I think I'm team orange.

Just having a little look. Team orange. This could be a silly little poll Which one's more slimming? You know because black and navy You reckon orange is more slimming? Or darker Whereas the yellow really is yellow Both are going to bring out the stains of a pie

I can't believe about these high-vis shirts How easily they do get stained Because as you say if anything dark hits them. Well, that's why you go to Kmart and get like 10 of them. Yeah. So you can churn through them. Man, I would really recommend just looking at this that he gets orange. Okay.

Have you found some photos of these? Well, I'm just looking at those wearing yellow and then those wearing orange. It's straight up that the orange ones are hotter. Do you think we should do a little poll for tomorrow's show? Tradies. Tradies. Which colour is better on a tradie? Or if you were going to be a tradie?

Yes. What team are you? Team yellow hovers or team orange hovers? Are we allowed four options though? No one's wearing any other colour. I couldn't find a green that was like, kids safety vests for the walking school bus come in green. And the occasional golf shirt.

Right. Getting up there, the far pricier. Right. Because I had a pink, when I got a bicycle, that I did six rides on before leaving the garage for two years and then selling it. Yeah. I got a pink high-vis.

How many, what was your cost per rides? When you minus the price? It was a cheap, I think it was like 300 bucks. Oh, okay, right. Yeah, yeah. So you still fight $50 a ride. Yeah, boy. Okay.

Yeah. Could have probably like got a nice Uber Comfort to work actually. Yeah, or you could have got Lime Bikes. Yeah. You wouldn't have paid $50 a time for those. I had really lofty dreams for the bike for sure, but it was I went for the vintage aesthetic

rather than, holy shit, that thing was a bad bike. And I had to bike up a hill to go to work. Yeah, they're not good for hills. That can be tomorrow's silly little pole. Yeah, if we're reaching for a hive, that's where we're going. Next on the show, you love a compliment, Hayley Sproul.

I'd love some. Are we going to just do compliments next? Well, there is one compliment that a study has found that if you get this compliment, it's the best compliment that you can get. Oh, great rack. That's my favourite. It's not that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, Americans were surveyed, and this was more about a survey about smells and compliments. Oh. Now, it turns out 43% of this is the biggest compliment that you could get was your home smells good. Oh, yeah, everyone wants a nice smelling home. Remember, because that's the biggest compliment. Fletch, I stayed at your place last week when you were away,

and I walked in and I thought, oh, that's lovely. That smells nice. That's lovely. Yeah, because I've got the Aquaria diffuser. Yeah, and you always light a candle when people are around. But I feel like a candle is, it's kind of cheating. Like you could like. It's not a real smell.

It's not real. You don't have to authentically smell like that. No, no. When there's no candles, it just smells like, I don't know. Home. What is your home? Naturally smell like if you, yeah, don't live, like if you live rurally, nah, because then you get the seepage from the outside of the cows and the poo.

Yeah. Which I personally don't mind, but some people don't like. So semi-urban. Yeah. Which I personally don't mind, but some people don't like. So semi urban. Yeah. No children, no pets. But it's interesting. What does your house smell like?

I don't know. Because you know, when you've gone away for like a few days and you come back and the house does have a, it's not. A mustiness. Yeah, mustiness. Yeah.

And you're always like, what is that? Oh, you gotta open the windows every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Simply must open the windows of your house every day, even if it's raining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crack a window. Yeah. Yeah. You're always like, what is that? Oh, you gotta open the windows every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Simply must open the windows of your house every day,

even if it's raining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crack a window. Yeah. Yeah. But it is not,

but when people say that to me, oh, it smells so good. It smells lovely in here. I'm like, it's kind of a hollow compliment because it's just because of the diffuser or the candle. Yeah.

You know, it's not like. Fair point from Jared in the group chat there. Your house usually just smells like your kitchen. My parents' house. Right, that'd My parents' house and my grandparents' house smelt like the laundry. Strong powder. Yeah, right.

Nana's house particularly smelt... Irritating on the skin. Smelt like her laundry. Yeah. I believe my parents' house, probably because when you come in the door, the laundry's there. Right.

I had a period where my house smelt like butter chicken. It's hard to get out. Well, no, because Big Hearted James, a friend of the show who was looking after my house, made one of those jar curries. Yeah, wow. And I was like, interesting. He didn't spill it. No, so this is why.

Because I was like, why can I still smell it three days later? And then the sauce from the pan had gone up the side of the wall and it was stay it stayed there and so i cleaned that off and that that stopped that took care of it yeah that jar stuff that's pungent yeah wow but it's i mean it's well i wasn't mad about it it's delicious i mean of all the scents yeah that's a delicious one i don't know what my house smells like probably like vacuum cleaner and dust well it smells a smells a bit like, well, because you renovated it. Chemicals, paint. It just smells like nice wood and paint.

Yeah, wood. My house does smell like wood. Yeah. I should say, because we don't have any like candles or diffusers out at the moment. What's the point? Well, you don't need it. You've got, you know, H4 treated. Yeah.

Probably H3 actually. It was probably H3. For the outside. For the outside. Yeah. The woods. Right. Well, it's the nicest thing you can say to someone. Your house outside. For the outside, yeah. The woods. Right. Well, it's the nicest thing you can say to someone.

Your house smells good. Your home smells good. Well, that's nice. So even if it doesn't, just say that if you're trying to get it in the good books. No, they'll know. If you walked into a stank house and you went, oh, God, it smells good in here, it's going to feel sarcastic. Yeah.

The top six is next. There's a nude cruise. Nude cruise? From start to end. The top six things you'll see on Nude Cruise. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the top six. Hello there. A nude cruise. All set sail from Florida. Florida. Next year. That doesn't surprise me. If it's going to leave anywhere, it's going to be Florida, right?

Going on a cruise after the all-nude cruise, because they're taking over the Norwegian Pearl. Oh, yes. So this must just be one of the cruise ships that's always going around the Caribbean. Yeah, right. Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St. Martin, Dominica, Martinique, and St. Lucia. I mean, gorgeous.

So I'm guessing you have to put your clothes on to go on land. Perhaps. It has capacity for 2,394 passengers. There's 1,000 crew on board. Are they naked? Don't know. So there will be clothes-free experiences throughout the trip. Proper nudist etiquette.

What is that? Like, don't stare at people's junk? You never talk about being a nudist. Just what, you pretend you're all wearing clothes? That's the first rule of the nude club. Other rules for passengers must be followed, such as wearing clothes inside dining rooms. Oh, yeah, that's good.

Hayley, you'll like this. The Norwegian Pearl, in October and November 2023, hosted a special cruise called the Headbangers Boat Cruise featuring metal bands Lamb of God, Macedon, Gwa, Hatebreed,

and Shadows Fall. Lamb of God's there playing to a group of nude mosh pitters. Yeah. Well, no, they're not. Only nude on this cruise. Oh, right.

Which is in 2025. Right. Oh, shit. A 41-year-old fell overboard on that and they never found him. Okay. Okay, Fletch, I have one for you.

In April 2024, the ship will host the Summer of 99 cruise with rock bands Creed, Three Doors Down, Vertical Horizon, Tonic,

Buck Cherry, Dish Wallah, Fuel, Tantric, The Verve Pipe, Louise of Veruca Salt and a band called Nine Days. Okay, do you know

what? That would be great. That's a great lineup. We just missed it. I'm not afraid to say that is some absolute radio rock bangers. Imagine being on a cruise ship at Creed's.

I feel so sorry for the bands. You cannot escape the fans. I have unnamed comedian friends who do cruises, you know, and they all do the entertainment and stuff, and they said it's one of the most painful gigs ever. In fact, one of my comedian friends was booked in for a whole week on a cruise to be the entertainment and stuff. And they said it's one of the most painful gigs ever. In fact, one of my comedian friends was booked in for a whole week on a cruise to be the

entertainment and got to one of the ports and was like, hey, I'm not getting back on. Get me a flight. Wow, okay. The people, you don't have to pay to go, so they could go just because they've got nothing else to do and they just sit there and they're like, not my cup of tea. Not my cup of tea at all. It says here, when the ship is at sea or anchored in a port, passengers can be nude unless announcements have been made to the contrary.

You don't want to pull up to somewhere like Oman. But when the ship is docked, passengers must be dressed throughout the entire vessel, including balconies, until the ship leaves support. Because they obviously don't want people in the town seeing you on your balcony nude. Well, I've got the top six things you'll see on a nude cruise.

Number six on the list. Someone querying something on their bill at customer service with their bits jiggling. Because they'll be pointing at the bill. A Karen.

They'll be like, can't get the bill over. Usually coming by the close but we're having a good wiggle waggle now. Oh, and the baps are just resting on the counter at the customer service counter.

They lean over. Yeah. The boobs sort of spill out onto the thing. Number five on the list of the top six things you'll see on a news crew. Someone's C&B getting dangerously close to the heat of the omelette station at breakfast. Well, as we've said now, passengers must be fully clothed. For food. For food.

Also, they're encouraged to sit on towels when bare-bottomed. That's good, though. Yeah, you don't want some sweaty gooch. Yeah. Ooh. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll see on a nude cruise. Someone ironically buying clothes in the gift shop for after the cruise. Yes.

Obviously not climbing to wear them all on the cruise. Naked, can they? Number three on the list of the top six things you'll see on a nude cruise, a nipple that looked exactly like a mini pancake at a breakfast buffet. You've just got to be careful. Don't bite into it.

On the list of the top six things you'll see on a cruise ship, someone's butthole as they squeeze past you to get some snacks while you're in the theatre. Because they're in a theatre and they're all in theatres.

They sit on a towel. They sit on a towel. Yeah, they're sitting on the towel but they're leaving the towel on the seat and they're squeezing past. Excuse me. Excuse me. How often are they cleaning movie seats, eh?

It doesn't feel like enough. Never. Never? Movie seats. I just think you get out of the seat. When are they in there? They vacuum up the popcorn. Yeah.

They're not in there scrubbing the upholstery. What are they going to do? Get the Bissell out? Get the Bissell. Do all 800 seats in a big... No, yeah. No. And number one on the list of the out and do all 800 seats in a big... No, yeah. No. And number one

on the list of the top six things you'll see on a nude cruise, all the vulvas, doodles, nipples and bums of the rainbow. Yeah. Yeah, gorgeous. Everybody's everything. That's right.

In every shape and form and colour. That is today's top six. This is something that is being trialled in Australia and the conversation has also begun to have this in New Zealand. Okay. They're calling it a porn passport. Right. Two words that I didn't really anticipate being together, but here it is.

We need a visa? No, you don't need a visa. You're going to Australia? No. Do you get stamped as to what category you've gone to most often? Yeah. Here's your female-friendly stamp. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's mad. Of course. Yeah, welcome back. Welcome back to ThruSense. Nice to see you. Do you want to give me that little stamp there? Do it.

Someone's like, oh, can I see your stamps? You're like, no! I've been to some bad places. I don't want you to see my stamps. This is the problem, because haven't they tried this in the UK and it hasn't worked? I'm not sure. Well, it didn't just drastically increase the amount of people with VPNs,

I believe. Yeah. Well, I think it's a really good idea, because the whole thing behind it is to try to stop underage people stumbling onto these websites. Because a lot of them, you go on and there's either nothing, or a little pop-up window that says, hey. Are you 18 or over?

Are you 18? And you're like, yes. And then you have access to stuff you shouldn't be seeing at that age. Because when I was under 18, I would just click, obviously, are you under 18? I'd click yes and then I'd just do nothing. I don't think the internet was really around when you were 18. Under 18.

It was, but you had to wait a long time for things to load. It was a slow, it was a whole process. You had to plan your playing with yourself so far ahead. Oh, yeah, you're better with your magazines. Now, speaking of which, so I don't know if this is going to go into, like, shops as well, because in Australia they define pornography as television programs

magazines, books, websites that are regarded as emphasising the sensuous or sensual aspects of a non-sexual subject and stimulating a compulsive interest in their audience. No idea what that means. That's a lot isn't it? That's a whole description. So how it will work is and this is going to cost about 7

million Australian dollars on a pilot program to see how it would work. It's like a verification like how we have Real Me. Okay. So you would have to, I guess, submit to a profile your passport or your license or something to verify that you are the age that you're saying that you are, which is over 18.

And you would use that to log in. Now, everyone's like, we stand by the intention. Yes. But how long before it gets leaked? And then everybody's profiles and their associated website history is leaked. Because everyone, if you're thinking about online, we're all jumping into incognito mode

for the purpose of no one being able to remember what we saw. Yeah, but that's, your partner doesn't get to see what you saw. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't. Erase anything. It doesn't, yeah, it's not incognito as you think it is. No, it's not at all. No.

I know, when you read about it, you're like, wait, I thought it was like phantom internet. Nothing exists. No, your internet service provider absolutely knows what you're up to. But everyone's like, so hang on, you're wanting me to upload a photo of my passport, which has my face on it and my name and my date of birth and lots of ways that you could find me

to log into a website where I'm doing private things. And there's also like, there's so many scams involving it. Like, do you remember we talked the other week about that email I got from my own email that made it look like someone had hacked me and they were going to leak everything unless I gave them 500 US dollars in Bitcoin. We've had access to your camera

and we're going to upload. You're like, um, no. But I know you had the intelligence to be like, that's a scam. It's a scam, of course. I know. But how many had the intelligence to be like, that's a scam. It's a scam, of course. I know. But how many people are going to be like, oh, we've got your sex passport history.

Unless you give us $500, everyone's going to find out. Yeah, I don't know. But if this is made in a way, because Real Me that we use to go on your IRD and all that kind of stuff, that's pretty secure. Like it's pretty like... Is it though? I don't know. I'm just saying that. It's like someone's pretty secure. Like it's pretty like... Is it though? I don't know.

I'm just saying that. It's when someone really sets their mind to it, right? Yeah. I said it's pretty secure before I even really knew if it was. I just assume it is because it's a government thing. I imagine it is. Because if they make this into a legal thing,

which is what they would be aiming for, right? Because in Australia... They probably thought the Waikato DHB one was safe too and that wasn't, was it? Yeah. So in Australia, they also want to use this for like buying booze and stuff. Yeah.

Because it's the same like if you go onto a liquor store online or even like sometimes if I'm going to like a pub, excuse me, if I'm going to a pub and you want to check out the menu, you go on the website and it says, hey, are you 18? And you're always like, yes, of course I am. Because I am. Only just. But I am

18. Yeah, only just. I think I'm like 20 now. You're almost two 18s. I haven't said that. I almost swore. Why are you being nasty to me? Is it because I said that you've got a ginger beard? Yeah, well, yep. You rang a loser then?

No, now it's two one. It was one all. And then you called him a rang a loser. So now it's two one. Okay, give me another one. I don't have it in me. Now go on, bring it on! I don't have it in me. I don't have it in me. Just do a light insult. Because I think rang a loser was quite light.

I didn't mean for two 18s. I didn't even mean for two 18s. That's just maths. That's not an insult. Yeah. I'm at 35 this year. That's miles away from two 18s. That's nearly two 18s.

Literally two 18s. No, it's literally. It's two 17 and a halves, and so that's pretty close to two 18s. It is miles away. There are many minutes in a year. It's one all because that wasn't really a. Oh, no, actually, no, it's two nothing. Of Hayley being mean to him.

Wow, you've been mean to him for nothing. Let's keep it up. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly.

That silly little po. Silly little po. Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Would you be sad if TikTok was banned? That's today's Silly Little Pole. Don't very rarely go on it unless I'm sent a link that's a TikTok.

Yeah. And then I go on it. 25% of people said yes, they'd go on it. 25% of people said yes, they'd be sad. Meaning 75% of people said no, they wouldn't be sad. Are we over it? Good point from Shannon though

because she mentioned, you know, because we're all about the reels. Instagram reels. Yeah. We should just repurpose TikToks. Yeah. Mostly.

So if TikTok went, you know, would people be so readily chucking them up on Reels I mean they'd just Jump back onto Reels right That would be good Probably

Yeah Yeah But do you think people Wouldn't be sad because They know how addicted They are to social media That if it just wasn't There for everyone

Cold turkey That would actually Just make it better Yeah Probably Make it easier to quit it Erin said I wish I could quit you

TikTok Oh TikTok Erin says The only thing that gets me He's here to quit it. Erin said... I wish I could quit you. Tick tock. Oh, tick tock. Erin says, the only thing that gets me through cardio at the gym. Oh, wow. Okay. Cardio. How are you doing cardio and flipping?

But you're the same. You watch shows doing cardio. You don't have to hold anything. It's an iPad screen, so it's bigger. I'll just press play and then run. Yeah, but she'll just put the phone on the holder. She just goes through the algorithm of just... She'll just watch endless amounts then run. Yeah, but she'll just put the phone on the holder. She'll just go through the algorithm of just, she'll just watch

endless amounts of TikTok. Yeah, maybe. Oh my god. I'll get rid until I land on a goodie and then I send it to YouTube. Yeah, thank you. You had a good vein of content at the weekend. I know, I know. Joanna says, wouldn't be sad as I've never used it. There you go. There's a stance.

It was gone. I was in a public bathroom in America, says Libby. Not even a nice one and there was a young girl filming herself in the only mirror above the basin. I just put my head up

into her video and said, excuse me, I'm so old it would have absolutely just destroyed her demographic targeting. Oh.

Or you may be famous on TikTok as the bathroom interrupter. The bathroom interrupter. Yeah. You totally could be out there with millions of views. Yeah. I'm old.

I don't use it. I just wait for them to appear on YouTube shorts, says Simon. Oh, YouTube shorts. I haven't tipped a toe in YouTube shorts. I will every now and then if I'm on the main page and I'll see a little thing. I'm like, that's interesting. And then here I am. I'm on YouTube shorts.

You're on YouTube shorts. Never done it. Kate says, don't ever look at TikTok. Instagram is definitely enough for me. Okay. Kate's a reals girl. Yeah. She's a reals girl.

The screen burn on my phone tells its own story, says Sarah. So you think she's got the TikTok logo? Maybe, yeah. Turned it to her phone. It's me, Sarah. You've got... My trackpad on my iPad has a mind of its own this morning. It's always opening up that little

programming window. When I'm trying to click something, it's like I'm doing some sort of click drag. It looks a bit dirty there. Maybe give it a wipe. What have you got on there? A real mucky keyboard. Yeah, the whole thing. So it looks like a bit of food on there. It's probably that.

It could be snot. I'm going to get sick now because of you two. Yeah, you are surrounded. We've got you now. Sarah says, no, you never get sick, so you'll be fine.

Sarah says, voted yes, but I need it to go. I spent hours scrolling it. I have zero self-control. I would achieve so much more without it. Take it away from me.

Take it away from me. Oh. And Emma said, how else would I pass by the hours of dread? Wow. We feel that away from me. Oh. And Emma said, how else would I pass by the hours of dread? Wow. We feel that in our soul. Yeah.

Yeah. I hope Mr. Luxon doesn't see this poll. He'll be wanting to take more. Oh, my God. He needs to stop TikToking. Somebody needs to take TikTok away from him. He is. That's embarrassing.

Yeah. It's embarrassing for the social media people. All six of them. Keep that off your LinkedIn, eh? If you're like, and I did the social media for the National Party. Yeah. It's embarrassing for the social media people. All six of them. Keep that off your LinkedIn, eh? If you're like, and I did the social media for the National Party. Yeah. Everyone's like,

cringe worthy. Yeah. And that's just not because it's the National Party. If any politician was doing that amount of cringe social media, it's just awful to watch. And there's seven people on that team. All the cuts that are happening in the government in Wellington. I don't know.

There's six people right there. Cut all of them. Give that back to the hospital. That's the little poll. I was just trying to think the last movie I've seen. Fall Guy with Ryan Gosling. At the cinema. Yeah, at the cinema.

Yeah. The Fall Guy. Emily Blunt. We got to speak to them about this movie. I love the movie. Did you see, oh God, I feel like we do nothing but talk about how much we like this film. But did you see the premiere in LA or something? And they had all these stunt guys arriving, like crashing through walls, jumping from

the balconies and stuff. Well, Ryan Gosling was doing press on Kimmel and they started with him out the back fighting like 10 guys and then bursting in for his interview. Amazing. So good. Great movie. So that movie was two hours and five minutes.

Lovely. Now, audiences have been polled in a study recently, and they have found the ideal movie time that people want. It's 92 minutes on average. Hour and a half. It's an hour and a half movie. That's how long movies used to be.

Yes. Yeah. Old films, eh? They've how long movies used to be. Yes. Yeah. Old films, eh? They've definitely stuck up closer to two hours now. Some of them double. It's good if you're paying for it. Yeah, but then like Oppenheimer,

I needed to pay so bad and that was three hours. Wasn't that three hours 20? I just paid. I hear I said there might have been a moment where you probably just could have skimmed off to the toilet. No, I did.

After the bomb. I had to, yeah. Yeah. We'll do what I did and just watch half of it. Just watch until the bomb. Yeah. Yeah. I think it depends on the film.

Like, with The Fall Guy, there was so much action that you kind of got, you've got the love story going on and you've got the action, so there's enough to sort of fulfil the whole two hours. Yeah. But when it comes to, like, like say rom-com, where all you have is just like flirty, da-da-da, I'm like, that's 90.

Yeah. That's 90, man. That doesn't need to be any longer. If you're doing an epic, like a war story or a battle scene, you know, you're like, you need a little bit longer. And if the movie's good, you don't mind if it's three hours, right? I know. It's got to be good.

It's got to be real good. It has to be so good. Because three hours is a six-part TV series. It is, yeah. It's a long time. It's not a movie. I mean, we're mostly watching these at home anyway, these movies. So does it matter how long now?

You just pause it. You come back to it. Yeah, I suppose so. This is why I like the TV shows that they're bringing out because the grand storytelling, nothing gets rushed like in a movie. And you do, yeah, you can watch it at your own discretion. You don't get to watch it on the cinema screen,

but sit close enough to your TV, it feels like one. I don't think that's good advice. I don't know if that's good advice. Yeah, that doesn't feel good. Hold your phone three inches from your face and it looks like a movie screen. It's like being at the embassy in Wellington. It's huge.

Whoa, actually. Giant screen. That's taking up my whole vision. If you put it even closer to your eyes, it gets even bigger. Whoa, the sound would be good that close as well. Yeah, and you can try headphones too. Shut up.

Mind-blowing. Yeah. Whoa. Why do I even own a TV? 11 past seven. Yeah. And you can try headphones too. Shut up. Mind-blowing. Yeah. Whoa. Why do I even own a TV? 11 past seven. Next on the show, Met Gala is imminent. Let's talk about who's there.

What's the theme? Try to make some sense of it all. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The first Monday of May. That is the Met Gala. And that is today. Technically, we're not going to get to see anything until tomorrow because... Like the early hours? Yeah.

Because we live in the future of New Zealand. But it's happening and it's always very exciting for fashion followers and also just anyone because sometimes it's nuts. Like, I'm not into fashion events or any of that but you hey that t-shirt's fine the same t-shirt i've been wearing over and over

it's fine just love that cap thank you yeah thank you obviously i'm not into fashion or fashion events but it is the met gala always has amazing red carpets. It's like art because it's part of the Met. So the whole reason for it is the Met has, I think it's something like 33,000 sort of costumes and outfits and designers' clothes and stuff that they have stored. And every year they curate an exhibition in which they bring out a collection

that falls within a theme. So the theme this year, well, the exhibition is called Sleeping Beauty's Reawakening Fashion. So it's all about stuff that's like vintage and like been away for a while and now here it is and it's being reimagined. Oh, that's, I hate a dress up party

and the theme's too broad. Yes. And, that's, I hate a dress up party and the theme's too broad. Yes. And I'm like, I don't know. Totally. So the theme of the Met Gala that everyone's following is the Garden of Time.

And that's kind of all they get given. I'd go as a giant spade with weeds and a compadirt. Yeah. What's that got to do with time though? I'd wear a watch. Yeah. Spade with a watch on it. I have an watch. Yeah. Spade with a watch on it.

I'd have an Apple watch on. Spade with a, or just like one of those, is it Flavor Flav? Where's the big clock? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what? Flavor Flav, I hope he's invited. Yeah.

Because. It's time to shine. The Garden of Time. That's the theme for the Met Gala. Well, it's the theme the year Lady Gaga wore like Snitchel. Snitchel. It wasn't an MTV. That was MTV Music Awards. Was it? Was it not for the Met Gala. Well, it's the theme the year Lady Gaga wore, like, snitchel, snitzel. It wasn't an MTV. That was MTV Music Awards. Was it?

Was it not even the Met? She just wore meat for, like, honestly, no reason. Okay. Right. I thought that was the Met Gala. Nah. It gave big Met energy. Yeah.

So you can never, like, the guest list is one of the most, like, well-kept secrets in the industry. So there's never any. It's always A-listers. But you can imagine, so there's some hypothesising online. It's going to be your usuals. Blake Lively, she always does well.

Lady Gaga always does well. Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Kim Kardashian. They'll be there with their take on the Garden of Time. And then everyone, because they just like pair up with a designer and the designers basically go nuts. Then you have people who have had a really good year, like Emma Stone, Margot Robbie, Dua Lipa. Yeah.

All the people that have had like big movies and what's nuts. What's nuts? And what's nuts? And what not? Florence Peer. Yeah. Anne Hathaway. All the Kendall, all the Jenners, Kardashians.

Yeah, they always get invited, don't they? Yeah. Wasn't there one year that like one of them didn't? Like Kourtney? Or Wood. Like all of them. All the family that's invited apart from you? Yeah, that'd be embarrassing.

So Anna Wintour, who's the editor of Vogue, she puts together a board each year, or co-chairs they're called, to help her put together the event. So it's her. This year, it's Jennifer Lopez, Bad Bunny, Zendaya, and Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth must turn up and just be like,

he's just been doing Mad Max. Yeah, yeah, right. He's just been doing Mad Max promo in Sydney, so he must be shooting over. So that's the people that come together and like, it's like a board of trustees, I guess, with Anna Wintour and kind of go like, right, let's craft this event

and how do we want it to look and whatnot. Zendaya, Jennifer Lopez, Bad Bunny, Anna Wintour, and Chris Hemsworth. Wow. Okay, so the red carpet, I'm guessing, do they call it a red carpet? The red carpet will actually hit between 7 and 8. A.M.? Between 7 and 9 A.M. tomorrow. Okay, right.

Our time. But towards the end of our day, they'll be getting ready and snatching it in and corsets and your Spanx and your tans and your glitters and then we'll be able to see what everyone wears. Well, some of us have weddings coming up.

Georgia just arrived at work. She's got a wedding coming up, and that one's actually in the calendar. And all sort of booked and stuff. Unlike yours. Yeah, well, I'm into year six of the engagement. It's a floating date. It's floating, man. And that's the cool way.

Yeah. You know? Because it's just that Vaughan and I keep changing's the cool way, you know. Because it's just that Vaughan and I keep changing our flights. Yeah, I know. You keep inviting us and then you keep uninviting us. Yeah, well, no one's invited. That's sort of the charm of elopement. You keep getting drunk and inviting us. Yeah, well, she's a different person when she's got a couple of shampies on board.

Okay. Now the average age of marriage or civil union in New Zealand is 30. It's 30.1 years for women 31.1 years for men. That's going up. Yeah. Compared to the old days. Would that be as well why people are waiting to have

kids a bit longer as well? Probably. Yeah. Well now that with Gen Z sort of reaching mid to late 20s, how's your metabolism, suckers? Been nice, has it? Sorry. Apparently Pinterest wedding trends for Gen Z's, like they're creating these boards.

I used to have a board. I had a board before I got engaged, and I deleted the board maybe a couple of years ago because of changes as well. You look at it and you're like, oh my God, I was going to be this boho bride. How embarrassing. Do you ever tell your,

like you have a Pinterest board before you even meet the man that you marry. I know lots of people do, yeah. But do you ever tell your now boyfriend or husband or fiance that that exists or do you just pretend? No, not because I'm embarrassed, because I don't want him to have a say on the aesthetic. Right, right.

I don't want him to see it and go, I don't like that. I'll be like, well, you're all right then. I feel like he would trust you to do everything anyway. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here are some of the trends that are on the rise for Gen Z

when it comes to weddings. Okay. The first one is colour. Like, big, colourful design, even dresses, like, they're kind of getting away from that traditional white, beige. Yeah. Just everything is white, white, white, white, white.

Did you see that person the other week wearing it because they told their guests what colours they could wear? There was like a colour palette? Yeah, lots of people do that. It's all about the photos. You know, on Instagram, you can't have Nan in a green dress when the colours are, you know, purple and pink. Yeah.

More muted Nan. I heard that even car colours are moving away. From your traditional... The millennial monochrome was what they called it. Black, white, grey and silver were the popular car colours of the millennials and now they're bringing in a few more and apparently Subaru was the only one. Subaru, Subaru to those

that celebrate. Yeah. They were the only ones that ever got away with like a really well selling green car. Green car. People that buy a drive-thru bar want to make it feel like they're in the forest. I like the land of the green. I was in a whole podcast about the science behind car colours. It was fascinating.

I wanted to bring this up with you guys because you know how you never see an orange car? Yeah. Yeah, you do. I have two, but not oranges in that kind of deep, burnty orange. I have two pastel orange cars parked on my street every single day now. And it's because across the road from us is the school

and their building. It's a huge construction site and I guess they're all kind of parking on that tail end of our street. And I was like, I go from seeing no pastel orange cars to two being parked outside my house at all times. How bizarre. Anyway, red is the colour that's trending

for weddings. Really? The red wedding? Red bride, red rose wedding, red heart cakes, all this kind of stuff. No, not a red bride. Red bride. So no white dress with a little bit of red... Red bride, babe. The whole thing. Full red bride.

Oh no, that's yuck. The other one is nostalgia and vintage. Like, so people kind of going, like, grandma aesthetic. That's a big thing on the Instagrams and the TikToks. Right. Is grandma aesthetic. And people going, like, I'm going to lean heavily into this. Even those, you know those wedding chairs

from the 70s? The big peacock chairs? The bride and groom would sit on them. The cane chairs. They're back. People were doing these kind of weird, yeah, and like all that vintage glassware and stuff.

You want your wedding to look timeless. Yes, just like, keep it simple. Yeah. Or just go crazy and be like,

yeah, it was the 90s, you know, and be like, that's what we did. Champagne towers is a big thing. Now,

anytime I've been anywhere where there's a champagne tower which is like probably twice in my entire life I hate them I'm like that's going to tumble wow

shots fired Maddie and Ryan no no just because I think that they're going to fall over Maddie and Ryan I think finally will forgive me

for saying I wasn't fed enough at their wedding because they hate champagne towers all I said was and it wasn't even their fault the paella guy

cut me off after two bowls of paella. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, wow. Because I was so hungry from running them around for their photos. For me, I just...

You saw their champagne tower and you used the H word. I said hate. You said you hate. I didn't say it because I wasn't invited to the wedding. Is it the anxiousness?

I didn't get fed at that wedding. It's the anxiousness because you think it's going to topple? Yeah, just glass. It just makes me go like, oh my God,

that's just going to absolutely tumble. And so when I see it, I'm not like, oh, I'll grab one. I'm like, well, I'll just have to go to the bar. So I'm not grabbing one

from the Champagne Tower. What's that? Oh, bows. Bows are big, guys, in the wedding. So bows on the dress, bows in the hair, bows on the seats.

We're going to have bows. Right. And then this may not surprise you for Gen Z. The big wedding trends at the moment. Big wedding trends for Gen Z. Cheap. Doing them on the cheap. Doing them on the cheap.

I get that. Those weddings are so much money. And you're going to have two or three in your lifetime. So you're like... I said don't spend so much money. So you're saying rather than do it once. Don't put it all on the first one Yeah once and spend a lot of money

You're saying look to the future For $10,000 ones Rather than one $40,000 one Yeah that's great You don't want to have no budget left For the last one Exactly And you'll be in your 50s

That's probably going to be at the beach of the registry office, that one. Yeah, with your mixed kids. You know, those are the only guests is your two teenage kids and an eight-year-old, a couple of dogs. Yeah. So those are the Gen Z wedding trends that are on the rise. 25 minutes away from eight, next on the show, in a cost of living crisis.

Yeah, I made a financial discovery. I've always loved to read. Excuse me, but recently it's hard to find the time. So I have been listening to a lot of audiobooks. Oh, here we go. It's not

reading. It's not reading and I've never said it was. It's fancy podcasting. Well, I still listen to audiobooks and say I've read a book. No, you haven't read the book. So, because I think like maybe last year or the year before, I was like, I should get into some audiobooks and listen to

my favourite author, Ken Fullett, and listen to some beautiful historical stories. And so I got Audible and then I realised, oh my God, it's really expensive, man. It's like $20. That's what's put me off getting it, is it's so expensive. But books are expensive.

It's still cheaper, a little bit cheaper than a book. I just won't read. That's your stance. So I got Audible, then realised I wasn't really using it as much as I wanted to, so I cancelled it. And then, of course, I've been listening to a lot of erotica recently for both work and pleasure in preparation for my show.

When you say work, that's tax-deductible horny books. That's good stuff. Yes, because I have made a show about erotica. I would love... This is research and development. I would love for the... That's R&D.

That's a category. I'd love for the IRD to just go through your expenses and be like, why have you paid $30 for a horny book? Well, I made a show about reading horny books. And so, that's part of my business. It's a work expense.

It is. So, I was like, I'll get Audible again because it's a really easy format. And for those that don't know, you pay a fee for the month and you get one credit which gives you a book. And then if you want to buy more, you pay additional for an extra book and you get one credit, which gives you a book. And then if you want to buy more, you pay additional for an extra book.

If you're reading more than, if you're listening, not reading, to more than one book a month. Enjoying, shall we say. Enjoying. Yeah.

If you're enjoying a book. If you're enjoying, thank you, Good spin. I don't want anyone excluded. Yeah. So I, listen, I get my title each month and I've been listening to them.

And then I keep getting these emails being like, oh, you've got eight credits. You've got nine credits. Now a credit is one book. Nine months of subscriptions. Yeah, and I was like, oh, my God, where is this? And I click on my app and then be like, I don't have any credits. How bizarre. What I realised yesterday is I have two accounts

to the same email. One is American based and one is Australia, New Zealand. Because you get the option, you sign in and it depends on if you're signing in online or if you're on your phone or something. And I had the US one and that's the one that I thought I had cancelled. No, I had the Australian. I thought I'd cancelled at some point.

And what I've found out is that actually the background one has just been ticking along and I've been paying for the Australian one with all my other ones. But were you not seeing it come out of your account? I don't look at it. It's too scary. You do not look. You don't look.

The money just comes out and you're like, well, I guess that's how much money I have now. Yes, yes. That's how it works in the account that this comes out of. It's not an account that I wish to study. From the girl math department, everybody. Girl math, girl math, girl math. So I realise that I've been paying

for a subscription that I already said, God, that I realise that I've been paying for a subscription that I already said, God, that's expensive. I've been paying twice for it. It's like 30 bucks a month, right? Or 25? Yeah, it's like 30 bucks. On horny books. I've been spending 60 bucks a month basically to have access to this.

At least you can cancel it now and you've got nine horny books you can buy. Yes. That's the upside, I guess. If you cancel it, you get to keep the credit. Yeah. Well, I'm cancelling the one that's got no credit. And keeping the one that's got nine credits. Like, this is good for me. I knew someone that was paying a gym membership for like

a year and a half. Dude, that'll be nuts. And didn't even know about it. I'm like, do you not look at your bank accounts? Dude, it's not like they were like a millionaire or something that doesn't look at their accounts. I guess maybe like you, it's too scared to look at the details. You're just like, I know the balance is low, but what goes out of it, you're like, ooh, okay, now it's lower.

It's mind-blowing. This is what I wanted to know is what are the things that we've all been paying for that we forgot about? That we didn't realise we were paying for anymore? Like if you had a grocery subscription to a company that doesn't exist anymore and then you're like, oh wait, wait, I haven't received anything from that

for ages. If it doesn't exist, it shouldn't be taking the money out. I know, but I always find these weird things and I was like, what is that? I had one recently and it was like a sound file website for like little instruments. And it was like a hundred and something bucks. You've got to delve into these accounts and see where your money's going. Yeah, like a masterclass.

I forgot masterclasses. I think we all got masterclass for a bit. The worst ones are the ones, not the monthly ones, but when you sign up. It's like, but if you sign up for a year, you're going to save 60%. So you're like, I'll do it. And then it just surprises you one day you've paid.

200 bucks comes out. You're like, ah, no, I meant to cancel you. Yes. Okay, well, let's take some calls. Have you been in this situation before? We want to know what you are still paying for that you forgot about or you didn't realise you were paying for?

The little things that slipped your mind, because I've been paying a double Audible membership. For like two different countries. One for the Americas and one for the Australias. Kerry, was this your husband? Kerry. Hi. Hi.

This is your husband. What was he paying for that he didn't know about? So he was in the UK and he freaked out because $1,200 had come up. I phoned to the bank like 9.30 at night thinking someone had hacked. Yeah. Oh, Kerry, you're cutting out.

You're cutting out. Maybe she's driving over the Rimutakas. Let's just pop me on hold, Kerry. Of course, the only place in New Zealand. It's a blind spot for Rimus. Is that better reception now, Kerry? Yeah, sorry. I'll pull over.

Oh, love it. Can you hear me? Yep, yep, that's perfect. So your husband gets what? $2,000 out of his account? Yeah, it was $1,200. Okay. He was in the UK thinking

someone had hacked his credit card. Yeah. And I'm on the phone to the bank at like 9.30 at night, and they're all patronising to me saying, now just check you haven't got any Apple subscriptions. For $1,200. That's a lot of candy crush. Yeah, it was.

But no, it turns out it was LinkedIn Premium for his company that he just forgot to cancel. Oh. Is that how much LinkedIn costs? LinkedIn costs $1,200. For the company. You get it free for a little while. But $100 a month, was that a yearly situation?

Yeah, it was. Oh, my God. But then imagine if you could see who looks at your LinkedIn. That's the only thing people want that for, right? Oh, 100%. Just to see who's, like, snooping on your profile. Yeah. Kerry, thank you.

Steph. Hello. What were you paying for? Hello. What were you paying for that you didn't know about? A Woman's Day subscription. Wow. What, like an old school get the magazine in the mail?

Old school. And it wasn't even for me. It was for my mum who passed like four years ago. Oh, my God. So you bought her a subscription for like her birthday or Mother's Day or something. Yeah, it was about probably four or five years before she passed. Okay. And so you were just paying this every year?

Yep. And then who was getting the woman's day when your mum passed away? Well, her house was sold probably six, seven months after she passed. So who else? He's always been really good at calling me or texting me when mail goes through. But probably not this time. He really likes the woman's day. He's bloody addicted to what New Zealander just got married.

Oh, and I bet he was loving the crosswords too. Oh, yeah. And the fashion, the fashion. Amazing. So like a bag statement comes in, he reaches out, I've got some mail for you, but not the woman's day. Wow, the woman's weekly. Not for the woman's day.

Wow, incredible. Who wants to know, you know? Thank you, Steph. Some messages in, the things you were paying for but didn't realise. I was paying for a landline for over a year that we didn't have anymore. Literally the line had been pulled out when we had fibre

put in. It was gone. I've been paying Apple TV for four years for my ex. I think it's time to cut them loose. Let them go. Or maybe give them to the end of the week to finish Ted Lasso and then let them go. I am amazed at people's lack.

Negligence, actually. Negligence. Yeah. When it comes to their personal finances and sorting their lives out. Quite a few messages in from people who have left relationships and mumma still be paying for, you know, her ex's life insurance.

Yeah, someone said life insurance. For the last year, I've been paying for my ex's life insurance. Yeah, someone said life insurance. For the last year, I've been paying for my ex's life insurance. Can you believe, like, you're not getting a cut of that, my love. By the way, if they die, that looks really dodgy. Is that, no, but if they die, you still get it, right? No. Because is it a thing you can take out life insurance on people even if you don't, like, you're not related to them?

Is that a thing? I don't think it was in New Zealand. Like, could I just be like a stranger and I'm like, oh, he looks close to a heart attack. Life insurance. But you have to know all their details. You'd have to get their details off them. Is it a thing?

No. Yeah, because when you know what it's like, if you sign up for health and life insurance, they want to know everything. When was the last time you got a fright? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did it make you feel? Did your heart beat quick?

Did you think you were going to die? Do you have nightmares? What's your biggest anxiety? Has a psychic ever told you you're going to die? And what date did she say? Because we will not insure you if a psychic said you're going to die because we will not take that chance. We are laugh insurance.

Yeah. We got contents insurance when we bought a house and had to get house insurance. So it came out as one payment, completely forgot and got separate contents insurance two years later. So for four years we were paying for double contents insurance. Oh, so you did house and contents

and contents. No, but that's bad of the insurance company. They shouldn't let you do that. But you might have gone to a different company. Yeah, that's true. I was paying car insurance for a car we sold a year earlier. Insurance company were amazing though and did refund it. So that's maybe someone

there for the house and the contents. Hit them up. And also like people with pen insurance, the pet dies. If you've paid a year, because I just pay yearly when my cat died, I just got a refund for the remaining time. Yes yes you can if you cancel them

gotta get in there my ex paid $15 a month a month a month onto our power bill and when we broke up 8 years ago

he unknowingly kept paying it wasn't until I got a letter from them saying I had hundreds of dollars in credit with them that I realised

I'd change companies when we split up that he'd been paying so I asked him to credit it into my new account, went in with a few days, free power. Yes.

It's a win. I love this person. I've definitely been here, done that. A couple of weeks ago, Healthy Me signed up to Noom. You know Noom? What's Noom? It's like food. It's like a diet plan app, you know?

Right. Track your food with Noom and you'll lose this amount. Yesterday I checked my bank account and got the Sunday Scaries when I realised that $170 had been taken out for a three-month subscription because I forgot to cancel my free trial. You've got to set, Fletch told me this, the day you sign up, you set a reminder in your phone. Yeah, although Apple are pretty good.

They'll email you saying it's about to come out. Right. But I always set reminders. No, you aren't. Was it you that taught me that if you just want to do the free trial, get the free trial and then cancel immediately? Yeah. Although some places.

If you cancel it. If you cancel it, it will stop. Yeah. But mostly you. The Quinn app. Didn't realize I signed up for a year and the payment of 90 odd bucks came out unexpectedly. Not mad though. You're not mad because you've got a year and the payment of 90 odd bucks came out unexpectedly. Not mad though. You're not mad because you've got a year of horny voices

from all over the world. Irish horny voices. Erotic literature. That's my favourite. Erotic stuff. I realised the other day I was still paying for an online anxiety course that I hadn't even completed the introduction for.

It was $50 a month and that caused me great anxiety. You might have to sign up to the course again to get rid of the anxiety of that bill. This reminds me, in a great twist of irony, I joined and paid for memberships to ADHD New Zealand twice. Two different email addresses. The most ADHD thing you could do. Now, I don't know. Maybe this question was posted to me because I'm the show scallywag. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly Play ZM

Now, I don't know, maybe this question was posted to me because I'm the show scallywag. I don't know. He is the show scallywag. I'm a scallywag, but as honest as the day is long, and that's in the middle of winter when the day's not really long, you wake up and it's dark and then the sun pops its head up and then it's like by the time you finish work it's dark again.

It's like you're spiralling a bit here, huh? Honest to the day is medium long. in the middle of winter. Yep. So I was asked by Shannon a question that she will now repeat to you and the audience. Shannon, at the social media desk

your question was? Can I take away milk from the office? Yes. No. Well, no, the actual answer is it's theft. So no. Theft? no, the actual answer is it's theft. So no. Theft?

Okay, here's... It's theft as a servant. But if I take it away in my belly, it's fine. Exactly. Yes, because you're consuming it at work. And this is why we get to work some days and there's no milk. What if I bought my dinner here and made dinner here with the milk? Yes, that would be acceptable.

That would be acceptable. Really? Really? She put her own receptacle and every time she felt like a coffee, she went and put a coffee amount of milk just in the receptacle and said,

I'm going to pass on the coffee, but I'll have the milk and kept that in the fridge and throughout the day, every time she felt like a coffee or a tea, she put a little bit more milk in and then by the end of the day, she could take that home.

So that's what you feel entitled to is your cut of the milk. Because I don't have any milk at work. Neither do I. But it's here. Fletch, don't worry, Fletch has all of our share of milk at work. I have a milky cereal. He has all of the milk in his oats and also a cup of milk and coffee.

Well, yeah, because I moved yesterday and so I had to come to work to do some scanning, which is probably also dubious to do. But I came into work and then since I've moved, all I have is instant mac and cheese because Carwin recommended it. And I looked at the box and you need to just drop you in there. Wow. Recommending a nice restaurant or something. I'm not the only hot mess around here.

Carwin also eats instant mac and cheese. I'd like to say I didn't tell her, hey, go out and get mac and cheese. We were just talking about it once and I said, yeah, it's not too bad. Yeah. And now I wanted it. Yeah. Use code Carlin, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Affiliate code. Yeah. And then I was like, I have no food. What do I do? I have no milk. I'm at work. Go to the dairy on the way home? I moved house.

I was stressed. I was flustered. And she's going, why the hell should I have to pay for milk when I'm actually entitled to work milk? Yeah, I should get a Fletch Milky Bowl amount. Yes, you should. We're all allowed a Fletch Milky Bowl amount, but you've got to consume it at work.

When you're away, Fletch, they pull back the milk order. No, when you're away, this building floods with milk because no one's there keeping the levels at bay. Well, I have strong bones. Wow. You do. Sue me. I mean, we're laughing at him.

He's like the only one in this studio that's not sick today and it's probably the milk. Well, yeah, and I was at work yesterday. Someone else was here. I won't drop them in it,

but I posed the question to them and they said they do it all the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. You're allowed the milk? When does the milk get delivered here? Because I feel like if it's getting towards the end of the milk, run and there's like

a two litre that's not touched. Or like if the milk's like a day away from going off and there's a milk delivery the next day, take it. Yeah. Absolutely. Like we don't want it to go to waste. Just drink it straight from the bottle. Yeah.

And then put it back in the fridge. How would I take it home? Do I take a cup? And then bring that cup back tomorrow? Yeah, maybe a Stanley cold container. I've got a Stanley flask. You could. No, some of my best Sistema containers have come from that drawer in the kitchen

where people forget they've got stuff here. They do a fridge clean up. They wash the containers. I'm just like, yeah, that's a matching lid and container combo. That's coming home with me. Vaughan loves to steal a Sistema that's been stained with bolognese. Yeah. He looks for the orange ones.

You look for the orange ones. A doc don't shop. Yeah, actually. Okay, just as it goes for animals, that also goes for abandoned containers. Yeah, see, I've got a bougie cat and I just buy, I just have clean containers. Yeah. see, I've got a bougie cat and I just have clean containers. Yeah. I can't relate to this.

He hates the environment. I would actually throw away a plastic container if it was stained. Would you? Yeah. Why not just relegate it to other things? Yeah, for other things. Screws.

You feel it. Screws and nails. Batteries. In an apartment, I definitely need screws. Where are you putting all your nails and your screws? I don't want to pick up a screw and it smells like bolognese. Why not? It'll be oily, it'll be great, it'll go in easier.

It'll slide into the wall. Yeah. Shannon, I think, take a carton. It shows how much you use milk. There's no cartons, they're bottoms. I don't know, I don't milk. I thought we were getting milk from fruits and vegetables these days. No, we don't.

I'm sure we're not taking it from the cow, are we? No, the official answer would be no. Okay. I think I'll just bring my dinner to work, use the electricity and power, cook it here, then take my dinner home. That's way better. Have a shower downstairs. Yeah.

That's water and power as well. Do some of your photographing. Photographing? Photocopying? Just live at work. Under the desk. Oh my God, why don't you live here? That's a great idea.

It's nice and warm in the studio. Because the old mail room downstairs isn't used for anything. It's moving there. Pop a curtain on that. That's spacious. Lovely. Great stuff.

Don't some people do this? Like people have been caught like moving into their workplace. They have. I mean, it's audacious. I love it. Yeah, it's audacious. Why not? Play. ZM's F. I mean, it's audacious. I love it. Yeah, it's audacious. Why not?

Now, we have finished the season of Maths Australia, and one couple remains. That was what I was going to ask. Who's left? One. It's a young guy and hot chick. What does it say? The whole show is just one couple. Didn't you watch the

entire show? Yeah, I know, but once I finish, I don't remember a single thing about any of them. Oh, you mean Jack and Tori? No, sorry, two couples remain. Jack and Tori. I'm only reading what the producers are sending us on Facebook. Okay, producers, your job over this break... No, the other ones, the cuties with the kid.

Your job over this break is to send enough information on the group chat so I can keep up with this conversation. Jade and Rich. You don't want to. It's your job. I don't think you've got a choice. You must inform this old man so that he is somewhat relatable to the target demographic.

Well, it doesn't matter. I'm not talking about the Australian one, but that's not. There's two couples remain. One that is a ticking time bomb and one that I think. Oh, Jade and Ridge. No, Jade and Ridge are the ones that are soulmates. Oh, they're soulmates. Jack and Tori are the time bomb.

Jack and Tori are the ticking time bomb. What do you know so much more? Yeah, you've come to the right guy. I'm cool. I'm cool. That's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about Lucinda?

Lucinda is just friends with everyone still. She was so lovely when she came in. She's just, you know, she's just out there doing light and life. And she's just. And mushrooms. And sharooms. But no, the cast of Married at First Sight New Zealand has been announced. Now, the first thing that tickles me, there's only four couples.

Are we across the living crisis budget? Are we budget? Well, I guess we're leaving room. Did they go to modelling agencies again and ask them if there's anybody in the modelling agency books? Or acting agencies and stuff. Yeah, they want to get in on some great exposure on nationwide television. Because the last time we did Maths NZ, it was so bad. Wasn't the last couple

of like bachelors and bachelorettes as well? All bad, yeah. Hot models and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And didn't we have to get a few from Ozzy? Did we?

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like we did, yeah. I actually worked, well, I've been doing a bit of a gig circuit. I've been doing gigs with a comedian called Itai and he is a very,

very funny comedian. And then he was like, yeah, man, I was on The Bachelor. And I was like, what on The Bachelorette? And he did it with Lexi's season.

And I was like, that's ridiculous. Why? He was like, I thought it'd be a laugh. I was like, were you looking for laughs? He was like,

I wouldn't have been mad, but like, bit of a laugh. Anyway, so Maths New Zealand is here and we have the first four brides and grooms. So these guys are going to be coupled up

or there's more to come? They'll leave space, I guess, for a couple of bombshells, but there's usually only two more couples. So it's quite thin on the ground. Because people drop out. We'll only end up having like two. So are there only going to be four couples or are they announcing more?

I don't know. They just said here like two. So are there only going to be four couples or are they announcing more? I don't know. They just said here they are. Right. So we've got Madeline who's 37 from Tauranga. She looks like a lovely lady. Now she's a trained healing intuitive. I thought you were about to say she's a train driver. I was going to say that's a great skill.

I think they're calling her, she could be New Zealand's very own Lucinda. Oh, okay. Like she's quite very own Lucinda. Oh, okay. Like she's quite maybe holistic. Yep. Does Reiki. Yep. Do you know I'm scrolling through these men, two of them aren't wearing socks. Oh, are they doing sockettes?

No, because I do sockettes. Out, out. No, it looks like a no sock. One's a no sock boat shoe and one's a no sock dress shoe. We've got Stephanie. It's a big no from you, is it? It's a big no. Stephanie's Gorge. She's from Auckland. She's looking for someone who's got aligned future focus goals and deep emotional

intellect. Hope she's a lesbian. Sure would out. Cara, who's 33 from Christchurch. I recognise her. This is the thing I love about the New Zealand one. You're always like, hey, girl.

Every now and again, you're like, I know that person. How do you know her? She's, I don't know. I just, she's got a familiar face. Over six foot tall. She'll be part of the New Zealand Tall Girl gang. Oh, the Tall Girl Facebook club that you're a part of. Yeah.

She says she's dated every tall man in her region. Back off. Not your Aaron. She hasn't dated him. No. No, she hasn't. And then we've got Samantha who's 26 from Auckland.

I mean, they all look very lovely. She's done with the dating apps and this kind of stuff. Now, Michael, 36, he's got one heck of a beard on him. Oh my goodness. He's gone for a blunt trim at the end, Vaughan.

Stylistically, quite an interesting choice. That straightened that beard and a flat end to it. Yeah, interesting. Like the beard goes down. It's like... Like the back of a woman's head.

Yeah, it's a beard mullet. Interesting. Yeah. So he came third in The Apprentice Aotearoa in 2021. Okay. So he's already been on TV. There you go. He liked it.

He's had a taste. He's back for mains. He's known for his meticulously straightened beard and striking body tattoos. All right, there you go. We've got James from Christchurch. He looks like he's, I want to say, James looks like he's got money.

Oh, does he? Okay. Like rich boy. Yeah, okay. He's from Christchurch. I think he went to like Christ's or something like that. Yeah. There's Pidipi, who's 28 from Hamilton.

He's got a man bun on top, not mad at it. Loves keeping fit. Hot. That's what you say when you're like, love my fitness. Brackets. I'm hot. Loves nature. And then there's Nathaniel, who's 30 from Wellington.

And he's an aviation officer and a personal trainer. Hot. Hot. Okay, good work. So those are our couples. And so when does this air? 26th of May. Three weeks away. Wow. Hot. Okay, good work. So those are our couples. And so when does this air? 26th of May. Three weeks away.

Wow, I'll not be watching. Sorry. I'll be watching. I said it wrong. Boy, I'll be watching. You put a not in there. I'm going to go back to not be watching.

No, but you don't mind because your wife watches these shows so you get like... No, I think she's... She hasn't watched the last few. Okay. Has she tapped out? Has she?

Yeah, I think she tapped out. Well, I'll be watching every episode. I love it. Because you're hooked. So much. 822, Fact of the Day is next. Do we have a theme this week? Antarctica.

Oh, cool. Yeah, dudes. Yeah, dudes. Get it? Cool. It's quite cold there, I think. It does get very cold there. Not as cold as it should be.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. It's Antarctica week. Yes. Here at Fact of the Day. I guess so. Cold as...

Well, today's Fact of the Day about Antarctica is, did you know that 62.2% of all meteorites ever found by humans were found in Antarctica. What? Phenomenal, isn't it? Is it because they're easier to find? Bingo. I was just like, yeah.

There simply must be a reason. They almost get past and then Antarctica's like, the magnetic poles. Yeah. And it is just because it's like a desert, except it's ice. So the meteors hit And they'll make a mark And the mark is

Findable Because it doesn't rain Although be it very very cold It is a desert Because it doesn't rain So not rain The mark will stay the same It might get a bit snow blown

But these guys know What they're looking for And then they'll just Dig around at the bottom Guys or girls Hey hey hey hey Yeah girls can dig for meteorites Girls can go to Antarctica

Ever since the 2014 Antarctic Convention, where they said, okay, suppose so. Got all those lovely soft bits to keep them warm. Yeah, yeah. Suppose so. Guys, we're not going to just be able to come down here and kiss all the time anymore.

If you went to Antarctica, you'd have sex, eh? I would. I'd be like, just anyone. Well, I've had sex in Antarctica. What's the strangest place you'd have sex at? I would. I'd be like, just anyone. Well, I've had sex in Antarctica. What's the strangest place you've had sex? I thought you meant you'd be so bored. Yeah. That as well.

You get in and the last plane leaves and they're like three months and you're immediately like, I can't take it. Someone shag me. Someone get over here. Right. No, just to be like, I've had sex in Antarctica. And then if you have a baby as a result of it, you've got to give it an Antarctic themed name.

Oh, yeah. Isn't Ed Sheeran's daughter's middle name Antarctica? It's a silly name. Can we have a fact check, please? It's a silly name. It's a silly name. Ed Sheeran's. Hello, producers, wake up.

McFly. I need a fact check on Ed Sheeran's daughter's name being Antarctica. I mean, we've got... Middle name. We've got laptops all in front of us. It's crazy. I've got graphs open. I've got pie graphs open.

I can't dare open a new tab and lose these amazing pie graphs. So, yep, and it doesn't rain, so the landscape doesn't change. It's hard, so when it hits, it doesn't go straight through. Wait, can we go back to this? It doesn't rain in Antarctica? No. Is it because it's at the bottom and rain falls down? It's a desert.

So how would it go? Yes. Yeah, it just falls straight past Antarctica. It can't get out of the ground through the ice. It can't permeate up. It falls straight down past Antarctica, but then gravity grabs the rain and pulls it back around and rains on South America.

Right, right, right, right. That's why it's so rainy in Fiordland. That's why. For example. It's getting all the rain off South America. Yeah, these are not facts. That's definitely a fact. So now that when they're just walking around,

they can find meteors that fell like thousands of years ago. Oh, wow. Because they kind of just hit the ice and they stay there and there's no like massive shift and everything. Whereas if they hit in other huge deserts, I don't know if you guys have caught the latest breaking news on deserts, primarily sand. Yeah.

That's my image. And they go in and then the sand changes because of all the winds and they, you know, probably in the Sahara and all the big deserts, there's thousands of meteors, meteorites buried, but we'll never find them because they're underneath all the sand. Why are they not in the big deserts, there's thousands of meteors, meteorites buried, but we'll never find them because they're underneath all the sand. Why are they not in the big cities? Because the big cities take up such a small percentage of land.

Like occasionally one will go through someone's roof, won't it? Yeah. And there'll be a massive story about it. No, you mean like cities are condensed in area. Yeah. Like you think you're in a massive city and then you see it zoomed out and it is just a very small portion of Earth. We keep talking about a population crisis. It seems like we've got plenty of space.

We've got all this room, but not extremely habitable because, like you said, Antarctica brrrr. Brrrr. Very cold. Desert. Woo! Far apart. Rainforest. Muggy.

Take your t-shirt off Clingy Full of creatures That absolutely Want to eat you So today's Fact of the day And the first for

Antarctica week Wet Oh god so wet Have you tried Breathing that stuff I have It sucks It's thick

It's like our lungs Were made for it Today's fact of the day For Antarctica week Is that 62.2% of all meteorites ever found were found in Antarctica. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Okay, her name is Alice and she has a TikTok account and she shared a fun fact about herself.

Yeah. She has a big bottle of Dove, like a big two litre looking thing and she goes, okay, so I just made this discovery, I've been using this moisturiser every day, morning and night, good for her morning and night for

over a year, bought the moisturiser it was like grey, she was like, I've never loved it, it goes on sticky and it doesn't feel that great. She was like, oh, I've bought such a big bottle. I'll just power through. And she's like, look at it here. It says moisturizing, nourishing the body.

Skin appears three times softer. That's what I need. You know, maybe I just need to sort of push through it. The reason that it goes on sticky, and she just discovered after a year, is that it's body wash. It is not moisturiser at all. She's been using

body wash. Surely you know. Surely you know. I mean I'm always a little bit cynical when someone makes a claim on, especially TikTok but. She gives off not good actress energy. She is just authentically dumb. Just like this is what's happened. Because they do look the same. Like those Not good actress energy. She is just authentically... Dumb. Dumb.

Just like, this is what's happened. Because they do look the same, like those big pump bottles, especially when it's a familiar brand like Dove or whatever. Wouldn't you be like, oh, it just doesn't feel right, and then wouldn't you look again, or wouldn't you be like, maybe I'll just buy a new moisturiser?

I feel like I know immediately if I've put the wrong thing on. Anyway, we've all done this before, because I'm trying to think about what I put on. Oh, okay. Go. Once, and she will hate that I'm telling this story. Our dear friend Rebecca, who used to do makeup for Have You Been Paying Attention. Yeah. I was getting my makeup done one day and I was being filmed for an interview at the same time.

And I saw her like putting primer on my face and then kind of me feeling it being like, what's that? And then her, as I was talking, then getting the makeup remover and removing that and then putting, getting a new thing and putting it on and it feeling better. And at the end of the interview, I was like, you're right. She was like, that was eyelash glue. And she squeezed all this eyelash because then these little things, she'd squeeze it onto one of those silver palettes and was just like, do-do-do-do-do, putting glue on my face. Anyway, that's slightly different because I want to know what is the product you realise or what is the thing you realise

that you were just using wrong and maybe you'd been doing it for a really long time before you noticed. Because you'd been using Vangisil as a face wash for a year, hadn't you? Yeah, but look at the boy. Yeah, no thrush. No face thrush. Plain as a whistle. Beautiful skin. Plain as a whistle.

Look how easy my eyes open and shut. No sticky. There's no yeast infection in there. Nothing. Oh, gorgeous. Yes. Come and smell my mouth. No, I don't know.

Smell my mouth. I don't want to smell your mouth. I don't want to smell your mouth. Someone's actually texted and said what the F is in her head. Rocks. Rocks. I'd say rocks. Rocks are in her head.

Okay, well, let's hear it. Save space. You can admit to us now. 0800-DARZATAM is the number. Text through 9696. What is the thing that you realised you've been using wrong? Oh, my God. So, what have you been using wrong is the question we've asked you.

Maybe you realised it well down the track, like this TikToker who has used body wash for moisturiser for over a year. Wondered why for a year she was always sticky. I don't like the way it feels, but, you know, I bought the big bottle. Abby, this was your Nana. What was she using wrong? She was using hairspray and she put it with perfume. Oh, Nanny's sticky as well.

I mean, I always remember as a kid, hairspray smelling like, I mean, it kind of smells good, right? Well, yeah, I just noticed the smell when I went in, and I was like, what are you spraying? And she was like, this. And I looked at it, and I was like, it's not perfume. So she'd been using it for quite a while. And was her house just all sticky?

Oh, her neck was, yeah. So, just wet wipes there. Oh, God. And also, this smells so, like, chemically, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Abby, thank you. Zoe, this was your daughter? Yes, my daughter.

Oh, and what was she using wrong? She came into my room the other day, and she was like, Mum, can I borrow some moisturizer? And I was like, yeah, go for it. Like, get whatever one you want. And then the next morning, she was going, mum, can I borrow some moisturizer? And I was like, yeah, go for it. Like, get whatever one you want. And then the next morning she was going to me, why are my hands so orange?

And she had used tans. Oh my God, that's so good. The tans moisturizer. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. Orange hands. Why are my hands so orange?

At least she wasn't like putting it on her face just like that, like real rough. Yeah, just two big red orange smudges up the side. We are hearing from a lot of parents whose kids are mixing things up. Greg, this was again your daughter?

Yeah, yeah. So obviously the 10-year-old has started wearing makeup much to Dad's dismay and one of the rules was that it comes off at night. So over the past little while she's been taking it off with Mum in the bathroom at night until she started complaining of a sort of a burning sensation

while using what she thought was makeup remover wipes. But we come to find out this weekend she's been using the cleaning disinfectant wipes. The Dettol. Oh, my God. Oh, Lord. 99.9% bacteria gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do a great job, though.

And the flash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently it takes makeup off quite good as well. And the top couple of layers of skin too. Thank God she's young and it'll rejuvenate. Oh, Greg. Also, someone's son was using, like you accidentally used the Vagisil. Yeah.

He was using his sister's Vagisil for a year as face wash. He thought vaginal meant for the face. You need to sit that boy down for a chat as face wash. He thought vaginal meant for the face. You need to sit that boy down for a chat. Yeah. I think if you get to 15, you think vaginal means for the face. Yeah. Someone else said,

so it was Dove that the original woman used. In their defense, and I've Googled it, they're not wrong. Body wash is written right at the bottom. Above that it says moisturizing cream and the biggest part of the bottle says, triple moisturizing,

soft skin, lasting nourishment, 24 hour nourishment. And the biggest part of the bottle says, triple moisturizing, soft skin, lasting nourishment, 24-hour nourishment. Like a moisturizer. But also at the supermarket, they're way and way different. I mean, they're in the same kind of area. But body wash is very separate from your moisturizer and your shampoos, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, very. Very. Like you're in that zone of body wash. Yeah. Oh, yeah, very. Very. Like you're in that zone of body wash. Yeah. Oh, my God. Someone was using an adult fun toy as a facial massager. Had they bought it from T-Mu as that? To be fair, while doing the podcast,

I did receive a number of fun toys, one of which I thought was quite full on, and we used as a shoulder rubber. Shoulder massager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does it plug in the wall? I reckon they look like a good massage gum. How strong is it that it can massage your... It's those wand ones. They have the big head like the more mass... They're called body

massagers. Targeted. Yeah. Because it looks more like a stick blender. Yeah, it doesn't look like a stick blender. A lot of rocks in the head, isn't there? A lot of rocks in the head when you're using the product incorrectly. Yeah, it doesn't look like a stick blender. A lot of rocks in the head, isn't there? A lot of rocks in the head when you're using the product incorrectly. Well, maybe just not reading at all. Someone said, I thought head and shoulders was a face and shoulder

region wash. Your décolletage. Apparently it's only for the hair. Well, so they'd like shampoo the hair and then like shoulders. But never the arms. Never the chest. And then stop. The shoulder blade.

Would that come around for a shoulder blade? You do decolletage. Neck. Back of the neck. No neck. Well, neck is kind of your shoulders, isn't it? Or do you do head, skip neck? That's a separate wash.

Neck wash you're after there. You want your neck wash. I will say a PSA, somebody said, Sensodyne looks like medicated foot cream. Putting toothpaste on your feet or foot cream in your mouth, equally as gross either way. Oh, yeah. And when I was nine, I put nail polish on my friend's eyelids

as paint on eyeshadow. Is that my best friend? I was an evil child and it burned her and I got in a lot of trouble from Nicole. No, this happened to me. We were doing fun makeovers as kids and I closed my eyes and Jess was like, hey, don't open them. And it was wet.

I was like, oh, what is it? And I was like, oh, it's burning. It was straight up nail polish on the eyelids. It burns. And we got in trouble. Did she mean to do it? No, she just didn't know that it would burn. We didn't know what the product was.

We were like, it's just wet and glittery. My flatmate was using Epsom salts on her food for about a week before she realised Epsom salts was not for food. It's for bath. Was she having like... Or smoking if you want to go crazy, right? Yeah, doesn't it make you... Isn't that what people were smoking

and they were treating you like zombies? The bath salts? Yeah, bath salts. Back in the day. God, the zombies. Yeah, that was weird, eh? The bath salts on this. Can't say I partook, but I won't judge if you did.

Went to a doctor's appointment with a client used the hand sanitiser it was gross and slimy. Oh it was lube wasn't it? Yeah it was lube. Turned to the doctor

and said Jesus hand sanitiser just won't rub in and he said that's because it's not sanitiser it's lube. That's the point.

It's lubricant it won't rub in. Went to a friend she's a little bit ditzy she made a lemon meringue pie was on the table time to eat she took it into the kitchen

and it came out minus the meringue I thought maybe Someone was egg intolerant or something And she was like trying to be inclusive No, she'd use shaving foam on the top of the Yeah She asked her afterwards I didn't want to embarrass her in front of everyone

I said what happened and she was like It was weird to just have decorative spray on top I said no, it's meringue. It's the lemon meringue part of the lemon meringue pie. She didn't know what meringue was. She just thought you could just use any sort of sprayable cream as a decorator.

Oh dear. Yeah. My husband used my purple shampoo because he read it was for greys, thinking it would hide his greys. Oh, okay. I had to break it to him that it would even highlight the greys even further. Oh, no.

And that's probably expensive shampoo too. Yeah. My flatmate didn't like using the Voltaren Emu Gel. She preferred the pills because she didn't like the taste of the gel when she had a teaspoon of it. Oh, my God. What's in their head? Good rocks. What's in your head? Oh, my God. She was in their head? Good rocks.

What's in your head? Oh, my God. She was, man, people are dumb, eh? Now, you know how someone texted saying, with the doctor's appointment, using lube as hand sanitiser? Well, I'll try to dance around this text because it's a little bit all over the show, but had my partner on the bed for a bit of fun hanky-panky,

grabbed what I thought was a small tube of lube and began applying it to his fun thing. Next minute I hear an unexpected whimper and I asked him if he was feeling okay. He said, is that lube? And I said, oh no, and it was hand sanitizer. Oh, that's like. That's alcohol. Yeah.

Straight on the diddle. Well, it's good to clean though. Be tingly though for the first few seconds though if we're looking for a positive. You're sort of like, oh. Oh. Great work guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself.

I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere.