ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th November 2023

Episode Date: November 5, 2023

Correspondence School Mail  Top 6: Govt Fruit & Vege  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley the Charity Queen  What's the new thing you wanna try?  Hayley's Toilet Roll Holder  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchforn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Happy Monday. Starting off with a hiss and a roar. I'm choosing to have a good week.

Not that I didn't have a bad week last week, but I'm excited. Right, we're going to be hissing and roaring on Thursday. Thursday. You may notice my absence from the show on Thursday. It's Colin Oscar-B week, and I just, I forgot. Like, I just hadn't put my thoughts to it at all, but I've got to start doing the food. The prep.

Prep. Because, yeah, you've both had one each, haven't you? Yeah, I've only had one. Oh, no, I've had two. You've had two? Oh, that's right. Because the first time that's failed. Didn. Prep. Because you've both had one each, haven't you? Yeah, I've only had one. Oh, no, I've had two. You've had two? Oh, that's right. Because the first time that's failed. It didn't work.

I have to get them annually now. And you're quite hung, aren't you? You've got a hung colon. Yeah, mate. I've got a long, well-endowed colon. Atta girl. That's my girl. So I've got to do a bit of a longer prep this time.

Right. Get it out. So what do they have to use? Like an extra two metres of camera or something? Yeah, yeah, just put an extension cord on it. They're using a 30 metre retractable hose. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But yeah, I've got to stop. I've got to go through it today because you've got to stop eating certain foods for a few days. Seeds. Like seeds and sun.

Seeds and beetroot and red foods. Which is a shame because I know you love getting a bird block and just going on a sunflake. You hear me during the show sometimes. I'm just picking up my seed block. Yeah. Anyway, it's going to be good.

It's going to be good. Flush it out. The top six on the way, that coalition talk, still underway? Yes, they certainly are. And there's a cauliflower that has been live streamed. Is News Hub doing this? Yeah. Okay.

They put a cauliflower out there. They love being a bit silly, don't they, News Hub? Remember in the election, did they laser people that got... Laser Kiwi, yeah. Laser Kiwi. If they were MPs that didn't get re-elected, Laser Kiwi shot them and they... That's right.

They love being silly with their political stuff. They've got good graphics. They've got a great graphics department. The Coalition Cauliflower is just sitting there slowly wilting and sagging and browning as a cauliflower will do. And the idea is, will this Coalition Cauliflower last longer than the torques themselves?

Yeah. So I've got the top six other coalition vegetables. Okay, fantastic. Next on the show. Two of the biggest films of the year. Oppenheimer and Barbie. They could be joining forces. I'll explain how next.

This is fantastic. Oh, my God. Okay, so Barbie and Oppenheimer. Do you know I still haven't seen Oppenheimer? No, neither. Is it in the cinemas? No, it hasn't been for the last month or so. Am I not hot on the pulse? Wasn't it coming back for another IMAX run

because there was a lack of IMAX movies with the strike and stuff? Oh, okay, maybe. And then we're going to hold on to a couple of IMAX movies until actors could promote them again? Oh, because I want to see it big. If that happens, I said you've got to see it big. It was made like it was filmed on IMAX, wasn't it? I know. You've got to see it on the big screen, the sound.

I know. I've missed it. Hopefully that happens and comes back. Well, that was massive. I've seen Barbie twice now, once at home and once in Dechenema. Abroad. And a lot of people were talking about Barbenheimer, right? That was like the talk of the town a couple of months ago, Barbenheimer.

A lot of people on Halloween going as Barbenheimer, like a Barbie with a hat and a blazer or something like that. Well, now, Barbenheimer might actually be a movie that's getting made. Like, for real? An actual Barbenheimer movie about a blonde doll who creates a bomb. This is ridiculous. Just because it sounded like a funny idea and it made for like a catchy word, it doesn't mean it needs its own movie.

I know. So the Hollywood Reporter described it as a prolific B movie in the making. So like a Sharknado. A purposely bad movie. Yeah, so a B movie is a lower budget film, always a little bit shit, still has a lot of cult followings like your

Sharknado's and whatnot. Cocaine Bear or something like that. Yeah, oh no that was sort of a little bit different but. Scary movie Scary movie. Is it going to be like a parody like your scary movies? So the budget on this is approximately 1 million US dollars Now to us that's a lot of

money. But. In a movie That's nothing. It's a coin. It's like absolutely nothing. And the producer is a guy named Charles Band. Now he is a horror movie producer known for and I looked him up on IMDB

he made a film in 2006 called Evil Bong about a bong. That was evil. That was evil. Wow, okay. Demonic Toys is one he's made. The Ginger Dead Man. Like, you're getting a vibe, right? Puppet Master.

Like, Mattel wouldn't have to sign off on this, right? Because Barbenheimer isn't the name Barbie. Yeah. It would just be any kind of blonde actress. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, this is like early days. I love this. Isn't Barbie Isn't the name Barbie Yeah It would just be Any kind of blonde actress Yeah Right So I mean this is Like early days I love this

But this guy Like oh my god Looking at Dr. Mordred Is another film He's made some Terrible movies Demonic toys

Jack Attack It's I would see this movie So nothing We've heard of Have you not seen Carnage Collection Evil Edibles? No.

Evil Edibles. He loves his weed, doesn't he? So the bong was evil, and now it sounds like someone has got adverse reaction to marijuana. Yeah, or he's got a bad dealer. So, oh my God, looking at his IMDb, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Like 30 films he's been involved in with this year alone. Do you know what I year alone He's just Pushing them out

Stay tuned for Barbenheimer By one of the most iconic horror producers Bee horror producers In America 11 past 6 Next, correspondence school Never did it myself, I went to a good old In person school

I did my learning in person as well. I just always remember those ads. Stotts Correspondence. Learn anything with Stotts Correspondence. Is this the home school? Well, effectively. Right. Yeah. Because you would do correspondence from home or somewhere. But the correspondence school has had

a very interesting take on science class. I'll tell you what was in the post next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Potassium dichromate K2CR207. Are we making an erupting volcano? Not with vinegar, not with the stuff we're not. It's Mentos and Coca-Cola.

It looks like a paprika. Oh, yeah. If I was to say what it looks like. Okay. However, it's a grade one carcinogen. I don't know what it's used for because I've never heard of it before, but it's a grade one carcinogen that was popped in the post and sent out to students from New Zealand Zealand's online learning school. Oh dear.

Yeah. They are now under fire for sending potentially fatal chemicals home to students in small little plastic baggies. Little baggies? They've just been doing this the whole time and they've finally been doing it for decades and never had a problem. 15 listed dangers with it

including fatal if inhaled, toxic if ingested and causes severe burns to the skin, as well as being an A1 carcinogen and should be stored in a sealed container locked up in a well-ventilated place. Oh, dear. So there was no accidental inhaling of it. But they say they've been sending it out for decades and never had a problem. I didn't even think about that.

If you were doing homeschooling or correspondence, you don't have a science class. You don't have a lab. Yeah, you don't had a problem. I didn't even think about that. If you were doing homeschooling or correspondence, you don't have a science class. You don't have a lab. Yeah, you don't have a lab. So they've just been sending you all the cool stuff. Do they send you a Bunsen burner? Yeah. Because how much fun were the Bunsen burners?

We always hardwired into the walls, the Bunsen burners. I was going to say burgers. But you, the tap was on the wall and you plugged it on and tightened the thing to hold it on and then you'd turn on that. Yeah, and someone had always

burnt the curtains, eh? Well, they sent them a cow's heart because that's what we dissected. Did you? We dissected a, something small,

a tongue, someone's tongue and then a cow's heart the next year. Some ones or some things. Yeah, just like criminals and shit. Yeah, criminals' tongues.

We were a low-decile school. It was mostly rats. Yeah. Just rat stuff, rat anus. They'd just be like, you'd go out. It was a twofer at a public school. It would solve the rat problem. Just whatever was dead on the road, a hedgehog some days, some weeks.

We had a hedgehog once. Go into the home ec block and catch a rat that was otherwise going to get into the flower. Possum scraped off the side of the road, cut her open. All of those, just basically roadkill. Yeah. I had a seagull once. Always weird when you see a seagull on the road. You're like, you're not very good at this. Go back to the beach, dum-dum.

You shouldn't be on the road. Yeah, so they were sending it out like willy-nilly. Willy-nilly. And had been for a while as well as lots of different substances of a slightly hazardous, in their words, a hazardous nature, but with potential educational utilities. Yeah. Oh, my God.

You use a bit of it. You do your study, show your mum. She says, well done. That keeps you out of the evil public sector. You always pass. Although I don't believe any of the science. And then, what do you do with it to dispose of it? Because if it's a carcinogen, you just can't

put it in the bin. In your red bin, do you? No. Flush it? But then sometimes chemicals can mix with water, can't they? And that's not a good thing. Yeah, no, that's not always a good thing. Oh, God. Wild. Send that's not a good thing. Yeah, no, that's not always a good thing. Oh God. Wild. Send them off

to a real school. Chromate had been banned in most schools and the ones that did use it used a very diluted solution that would only be handled by a teacher with extreme precaution.

With gloves and stuff. Yeah. This is the wildest thing that's been happening for years. I know. How is this not a bigger news story?

Well, that's what we're trying to do here. Is really get the word out. Really blow it up. We're trying to blow this up. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello.

The coalition cauliflower is browning and will continue to brown until a new government is formed. This is like when they did that, the Liz Trust lettuce in the UK. Do you remember that? They were like, how long will the lettuce last? Oh, compared to when she was Prime Minister? Yeah, and the lettuce was still green when she was not the Prime Minister. Yeah. Was that what happened?

Yeah, I think something like that, actually. This is very funny. Well, the coalition cauliflower is starting to brown. I mean, you leave a cauliflower and a veggie crisper for a week. Oh, I'm on the live stream now. I've got a browning cauliflower in there. So this is News Hub that are doing this? Yeah, it's News Hub.

How's it looking? Yeah, some brown dots on the top. Still pretty good. I'd probably pick that up from the supermarket. Would you pick that up from the... Yeah, I'm going to roast that. Yeah, looks fine. Looks fine.

Because they don't have enough, do they? They don't have enough people. National and... National and ACT. Winston needs to go in. Yeah. So after the final votes on Friday, yeah, there are coalition talks

with National New Zealand First and ACT. And the idea is, will the cauliflower outlast the torques? It will. Cauliflower's a very resilient. Yeah, but what if the torques are ongoing? They should do it broccoli because they go softer quicker.

And flour. They go real limp. Limp. When you pick it up, you're like rubber. Still cooker. The Coalition Cauliflower, Staten and Brown have got the top six out of the government predicting fruit and veg. Number six on the list, the Negotiations New Potato. Oh, yeah. Nice.

And if it starts, the minute that first little bud of a sprout comes out, they're done. Can't do it. I'll eat them, but if I open a bag of potatoes and I see a little nub on there, I'll just knock the nub off of my thumb

before Sade sees it or she'll throw the whole thing away. She'll poo-poo the potato. If you've got a good garden, you don't throw those away though. You just keep them and let the sprouts get a little bit longer and then you plant the potato

and then one potato, guys, becomes many potatoes. One potato, two potatoes. One potato becomes many potatoes. It's incredible. One potato becomes many potatoes. Number five on the list of the top six government predicting fruit and veg, you've got the right wing radish. This is a right slanted government.

And radishes will go a little rubbery too. Do they? Yeah. Why don't you buy radishes? I only ever grow radishes because they're so easy and quick to grow, it makes you feel like you've got a really green thumb when it comes to a radish. Yeah, nice. Do you like eating them?

Yeah, you grate them into a salad. They pop off in a salad. Like putting basil in a salad, it adds a little shepap. I love basil in a salad. Yeah, it's a great move. Grating it in. Yeah. Yeah, that's great because usually people slice it and sometimes you get it in a fork.

You get a whole radish. That's great. It's too much and sometimes you get it in a fork. You get a whole radish. That's great. It's too much. Great grading. Great. Great. Number four on the list of the top six government predicting fruit and veg, you've got the New Deal durian.

What's a durian? A durian. Oh, durian's a stinky fruit. It's those ones that you're not allowed to take on public transport in Southeast Asia because the minute you open them, they really, really stink. Yuck. Yep.

I mean, the minute Winston was involved, I'll say it, the minute Winston was involved in these negotiations, it became a real durian, didn't it? Yeah. They do a durian on the floor. Number three on the list of the top six government predicting fruit and veg,

you've got the meetings mushroom. Oh, those things will shrivel up when they're out of order. Are they slimy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mushrooms, they go slimy, then they wrinkle.

Yeah. They go slimy there, they go past it, then they get that testicle kind of texture. You need your negotiations done within two to three days at the absolute most. Yeah. Yeah. Number two on the list,

if we're talking about bloody fruit and veg, it'll turn on you in a second for the top six government-predicting fruit and veg, the arrangement avocado. Oh, yeah. It feels okay. It feels okay. It looks all right. Cut it up. It's rotten. Today's the day. Today's the day. Yesterday, the arrangement avocado. Oh, yeah. It feels okay. It feels okay. It looks all right.

Cut it up. It's rotten. Today's the day. Today's the day. Yesterday was the day. Yesterday was the day. You should have known that. Damn right.

And number one on the list of the top six government-predicting fruit and veg, they'll last a while, but shit, they come at a cost. The Winston watermelon. Oh, yeah. How expensive are they? Yeah, because...

And when they go off as well. Ugh. The supermarket had watermelon, $4. Oh, yeah. Oh, the expensive A. Yeah, because... And when they go off as well. The supermarket had watermelon, $4.99 a kilogram. And my daughters who were with me, love watermelon, said, can we get a watermelon? Look, they're only $5. I was like, no, they're not. They're $5 a kg. And then the supermarket, to their, you know, to commend the supermarket,

where commendation is due, had written under it, average weight approximately five kilograms. Oh, wow. So it was a $20 watermelon. Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. Oh, you know, five fives, 25?

Yeah. $25 for a watermelon. That blew their little minds. That's ridiculous. That's a good learning moment for the girls, isn't it? Great little learning moment. Yeah, it's a good learning moment.

Also, five kgs, that's a heavy-ass watermelon, right? Yeah, it's a fat dump. That's a good learning moment. Also, five kgs, that's a heavy-ass watermelon, right? Yeah, it's a fat dumper. That's a fatty little watermelon. God, I've put on four watermelons. Wow. No wonder my knees hurt. That's $100.

What? Thank you. Thank you for saying my weight gain is expensive. Very expensive. That is today's top six. Play. Sit in. Fletch That is today's top six. I'll admit it, I used to buy, what was the magazine

that was like the trashiest of them? NW? NW? No, no, no. Celeb Gossip Mags. NW, I think. God, I don't know. I used to buy it every week.

I like the ones, I'd always pick them up and read them. It was like, I was abducted by aliens. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Janine shares her story. Yeah, a leprechaun.

I breastfed a leprechaun. Yeah. Barbara's life story. Barbara needs some help, I think. I breastfed a leprechaun for 10 years before realising he wasn't a leprechaun. It was a little man. It was a little man. Who popped by for a booby milk.

Yeah. But I don't know. I'm always fascinated by celebrities. Aaron doesn't get it. He doesn't know why I watch the Kardashians. Oh, that's when I fell asleep watching last night. Do you mind? I'm just going to pause actually

and just watch the rest of my episode. Okay, that's cool. Sade was watching that yesterday. Oh my God. That's the greatest way to flush me out of the lounge. Is it? Yeah. I'll immediately go into another part of the house

to find something else to do. Yeah. If that's on. Yeah, it's crazy. But then I make her pause it when Kendall's on. Then she gives me a little recap of what Kendall's up to. There's just not enough Kendall. You like Kendall?

Yeah, she's my favourite. Yeah, she's my favourite too. Happy birthday. She's my favourite then, Kim. Why is she your favourite, Hayley? She's just the most down to earth. Yeah, why is she your favourite, Vaughan? Same.

Not the legs? The legs certainly help. Yeah, right. Very long legs. Not that face. The face, it's a lovely face. Right, okay. You can't see though because you've got a wife.

I liked how you don't see anyone else's beauty when you're married. I liked when she did that advertising campaign with Pepsi and put all that turmoil, all that civil turmoil in the US to bed. Maybe they should send her with a can of Pepsi to the Middle East. Yeah.

Russia, Ukraine, I mean there's a long list of places they can chuck a couple of Pepsis. God, why didn't they think of that? Get Kendall to chuck them a Pepsi. Don't know. That was wild, that whole thing. So wild. Wild.

This research is from Hungary. Okay. Hungary. Hungary. Hungary. Hungary. It's Hungarian research from Hungary. Oh, Hungarian, yeah.

Yeah, I was like, this is how, right? You're Bulgarian. I'm tired, I'm tired. Yeah, it's Bulgaria, you're thinking, that doesn't sound right. You're Bulgarian? I'm tired, I'm tired. Yeah, it's Bulgaria, you're thinking Bulgaria. Bulgaria. And Hungary. Bulgarian.

Two different questions. Hungarian, Hungary. From Hungary. They, a very simple research, looked at the relationship between intelligence and people who are celeb obsessed. Like yourself.

Like myself. And they asked them, it was a bunch of psychologists asked them a number of questions about their interest in celebrity people. Yeah. Simple statements like, I often feel compelled to learn

the personal habits of my favorite celebrity. Yes or no? I'll say yes. I'm obsessed by details of my favorite celebrity's life. Or if I were lucky enough to meet my favourite celebrity and they asked me to do something illegal as a favour, I'd probably do it.

Hence why people transfer money to people they believe are celebrities online. Oh my God, yeah. If Jason Lamore was like, hey, can you carry this boogie board bag? I'd be like, sure, babe. Yeah. No questions asked.

I'd be like, sure. It doesn't even matter. Well, sure there is, yeah. Carry anything. And, sure there is, yeah. Yeah. I'd carry anything. And then they asked them, they then took part in a 30-word vocabulary test, as well as a digit symbol substitution test. Basic maths, I imagine. Yeah.

And then they compared the data, and it found that people that were obsessed with celebrities are far less intelligent. Like, for example, calling Hungary Hungaria. Hungaria.

Dumb. There you go. Didn't Carween wasn't there recent, because you would say Carween and in fact the girlies, absolutely obsessed over Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift in particular. And Charlie Puth at the weekend.

You were even wearing a Charlie Puth t-shirt, Shannon. You went to the show at the weekend. She poofed it. She poofed it. Wasn't there research saying the opposite about Taylor Swift fans? They're actually very intelligent. Yeah, but that's Taylor Swift fans, you know. Slightly different. Slightly different. Right, what about Charlie Puth fans? What're actually very intelligent. Yeah, but that's Taylor Swift fans, you know? Slightly different.

Slightly different. Right, what about Charlie Puth fans? What do you reckon they're like? Probably quite low down the list, eh? Yeah. But we have fun, you know? Yeah, that's the most important thing. That is, yeah.

Yeah, you do have fun. So what just stops obsessing over celebs? Basically, open your mind to more things. I mean, I kind of get it. I get the brain drain of following celebs. When open your mind to more things. I mean, I kind of get it. I get the brain drain of like following celebs. When I watch Kim Kardashian or the Kardashians, I'm always like, you know, like nothing intelligent is going into my head.

Yeah. So I guess you've got to reign it, you know. Do you want to be following all the news at the moment? Like the actual, what's going on in the world? No, I don't want to jump into bed and read the news. No. I want to find out what bloody Kylie and Kendall are up to. It's crazy adventures.

Kendall's got a horse. What, she got a horse? Yeah, she's horsey. She loves the horse. Yeah, she's got a ranch, yeah. Yeah, I know. That's why we like her. You know, she's horsey.

Yeah, I don't know. That's a bit off-putting for me. So what's your least favourite Kardashian? It's Khloe, yeah. Nah. She's funny. Yeah, but she keeps going back to the same dumb idiot dudes and that's a little bit annoying to watch.

You expect better. Yeah, we do. From Kendall's sister. Oh God, I feel like literally with this conversation, I feel like it's getting less and less intelligent. Yeah. Way less dumber and way less smarter. More dumber.

More dumber. But I'm so looking forward to my holiday in Hungary. Oh, my God, it little pole, silly little pole. Well, they won't be for sale today, but you'll probably still hear some snap, quackles and pops for the next couple of weeks. And New Year's and your friends' birthdays. Yeah. Anyone that's born around here will probably have fireworks at their birthday. Should there be public sales of fireworks?

What were the fire engines like? Were they busy over the weekend? I heard a few in the city, but yeah, I guess just your normal. I think someone was horrendously injured in New Zealand. That's almost guaranteed. From the news. Every year.

Should there be public sale of fireworks? 21% of people say yes. An overwhelming 79% of people don't think there should be public sales of fireworks. Wow. Okay, that's a lot. I think we're done with it. I get it. That was fun, but it's, yeah.

Yeah. I think we're done with it. Charles says, yes, but just sparklers. And for Christmas and New Year's rather than the 5th of November. I love sparklers. But you can, they're not innocent. Things can be done with sparklers that are very, I won't say what, as I don't wish to encourage it.

But things unto one. No, Jesus Christ. Jesus, no. No, don't put a sparkler near that. Putting the non-sparkling end in the bum and then lighting it. No, you're going to get. Look at my shiny tail. You're going to get sparks

dropping onto your sensitive anus area. You'll burn the dumper doing that. Yeah, you get some little singe marks. The majority of people are actually idiots, said Tamara. Okay.

Yeah, sadly. Who may have... Yeah. But I can't see what she voted for. Do you think she misread it? And then the majority of people... or she sounds like she's against. I think it sounds like she's pro-fireworks.

No, it sounds like. That she thinks the 79% of people who voted are idiots. I don't know because she wouldn't have voted when she. I don't know. I don't know exactly what she meant. I'm confused by where she's coming from. Think of the pets and the farm animals, says Janelle. Yeah, that's true.

Major Murray Fluffington got quite scared because somebody was firing Roman candles out their car window at 4 o'clock on Saturday, weren't they? Yeah, that's true Major Murray Fluffing got quite scared Because somebody was firing Roman candles Out their car window at 4 o'clock on Saturday Yeah they were, I was there God, we didn't know what was happening We were all just like, what is going on? Because the Roman candles sound like gunfire Yeah And you're like, jeepus

And they banned skyrockets And then just made Roman candles more powerful Yeah Yeah, they did. Humans are becoming progressively less intelligent and thus giving them the choice to inadvertently maim themselves with ancient Chinese technology seems like a terrible idea. Well put.

Yeah. James says, I'm a cop and the other day we had a job on the motorway where the occupants of two vehicles were seen shooting fireworks at each other as they drove along. That amount of stupidity alone is enough for me to say it should be banned from public sales. Oh, my God. That's so dumb.

That is so dumb. Don't be dumb. Could you have seen yourself doing that as a teenager? Absolutely. My dream was to go go-karting and be allowed to shoot Roman candles at each other while you were go-karting. Not taking into account that you are literally driving something

powered by a very combustible fuel. Yes. Yeah. We're lucky to have you, actually. Very lucky to have me. Monique says, dogs, young kids, other animals, people who need sleep for work, study the next day. I'm thinking of them.

Fireworks should only be allowed at approved community events. Yeah, and you know they're better. You know, like a New Year's fireworks. I know. The ones that were going off around our house, like, you're like, was it worth it? Yeah, was it worth that $50 on that? Vijay brings up a good point.

Back in the day, we all had big yards. Now in the cities, there are more people with little to no land to let fireworks off. Yeah, that's a good point. We're all packed in a little bit tighter, aren't we? Janine says, what the hell is it going to take to ban it? We can't have plastic bags or straws, but it's okay to have explosives. I mean, I never thought about that. Well, maybe there needs to be a shocking image of a turtle with a Roman candle on its nostril.

And its nostril. A sparkler in its bumhole. Yeah, and a sparkler up its bumhole being like, look at my shiny tail. Yeah. Oh, no. Yes, my children love them and when used correctly, they are fun, says Rhiannon.

Maybe just downscale the amount on sale to smaller packs. People will just buy more of the smaller packs. But again, if you just go to an approved fireworks display. Yeah. They're awesome. It's lots of fun. I went to a multi-million dollar fireworks display in Oman. It was 30 minutes long.

It was crazy. It had water and lights and lasers and all these. It was 180 degrees. That was amazing. The Disneyland fireworks are nuts too. They spend tens of thousands of dollars every time they do it. A day. I think they do it multiple times a week. Yeah. 180 degrees. That was amazing. The Disneyland fireworks are nuts too. Are they? They spend tens of thousands of dollars every time they do it. A day.

I think they do it multiple times a week, yeah. And it's got lasers and characters. So good. Yeah, so good. Also with drones. You see those drone displays now? We might not need fireworks. Yeah.

Weird how they work that out, eh? All the drones. The drones doing it. Yeah. What a world, eh? What the drones. The drones doing it. Yeah. What a world, eh? What a world. What a wonderful world. What a wonderful,

wonderful world. That's a little pop. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Over to Shannon at the social media desk. She's absolutely buzzing after a Charlie Puth weekend.

Yeah. I know it. I got my voice back, luckily. Did he see your sign? You were going to make a sign for him because you're in love with him, aren't you? I Yeah. I got my voice back, luckily. Did he see your sign? You were going to make a sign for him because you're in love with him, aren't you? I am. I was so far away.

I was in V200, so I don't think he spotted me. Oh, my God. I saw your videos from the concert. I was like, hon. You work in radio. You could have asked someone to get some better tickets.

Why didn't you ask for a meet and greet or something? Well, I met him on Zoom with us. No, don't. Remember when we Zoom interviewed him and we said, oh, Shannon can come. And she was like, hey. I was so embarrassed. And then couldn't say anything.

I got all dressed up and I faked tanned and I did my nails and he didn't even see me. And then you were in the nosebleeds. Of course he was never going to see you. Yeah. But I had a great time. Okay. Great. Good.

So you've got a hot dating tip for us that you've stumbled upon. Yeah, I was on TikTok and one of the girlies was saying that if you're on a date with a guy and you're there to have the bill paid for, you know, there's dates for love and there's dates for fun. There's dates to feed yourself. Just to get by. So we're talking about those kind of dates. Right. Not like a lovey, you're looking for a future.

And the girl was saying if the guy offers to split the bill, you go, oh, oh my goodness. That's so, oh, I'm so embarrassed. I thought this was a date. I thought this was going to be a romantic. Oh my goodness. You just wanted to be friends. That's just, oh, I'm so mortified.

Oh my God. Oh my goodness. What a mind game. What would you... A dangerous path to start down? But then he'll get so like flustered that he'll be like, no, no, it is a date. I'll pay for it.

Oh my God. And then he's like, no, I'm sorry. It's just halves. Yeah, well then I guess you're done. You know there's not a second date with a free dinner. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I thought this was a date. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.

Sorry. Oh my God, no, of course I'll pay half. I just thought this was a date. I was starting to fall for you. I was starting to fall for you. I'm so sorry. I thought this was a date. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Sorry. Oh my God, no, of course I'll pay half. I just thought this was a date. I was starting to fall for you. I was starting to fall for you. I love you. I'm pregnant. And then get the free dinner

and then never talk to them again. Yeah, pretty much. Wow. Wow. That is ruthless. Good Lord. Yeah, but lovely. Get a nice free meal.

Yeah. Stay safe out there, girlies. This never worked with me because I make you pay that extra $2 because you always get the iced coffee at the breakfast we have. Yeah, I'm always like, that was a nice little brekkie date we had and then I get a text being like, hey, here's my account number. $2.15 the other day was an extra $2.15.

Yep. Yeah. I don't know. The last time I went on a date was with Aaron, like a first date, and he paid for everything. But also he was older and he had a job and I was a drama student. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

It was hot. It's a hot older man. Well established. Yeah, yeah. Older gentleman. He's dating a schoolgirl. Dating just a little schoolgirl. Really sad.

Really painting a whole picture here. I'm at drama school. Okay. It's going to be a handful. Was that the acting that you got out of this drama school? The acting I just did then? Yeah, was that? Just a little school girl.

Okay, stop. That's my character, Janice. She's a little school girl. Right. I kind of picked that up from what she said. When she said, I'm a little school girl, I figured she was being a little schoolgirl I kind of picked that up from what she said when she said I'm a little schoolgirl, I figured she was being a little schoolgirl. Hey, are you able to go do this? But I can't

I'm just a little schoolgirl. I can't No, no, no, I can't I swear we can't 13 past 7 next on the show I don't know, what's next? I wouldn't know I'm a little schoolgirl. She's just a little schoolgirl. She's simply Quant-no-what.

I'm Quant-no-what. I Quant-no-what's next on the show. What is next? It's about borrowing food off other people's plate. And I say borrowing even though there's zero intention of ever repaying. Borrowing. Can I borrow something that is absolutely got a single use that I'm never going to be able to give right back to you?

Play. Zidane's Fletchborn and Ailey. Play. Absolutely got a single use that I'm never going to be able to give right back to you. I would never think to take food off somebody else's plate without asking or making some sort of exchange deal. Do you want some of this? I'll say to someone who I obviously want something of theirs, so I'll offer it first to make myself look like a gentleman. Yes. Does anybody want to try this? Not even Sade's play.

Not without asking. Oh, my God. Aaron just puts a fork on. No. Yeah, but he's the bigger eater than me. You're the bigger eater in this situation. Is it okay if you're with someone, like it's your fiancé, your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever,

you just take a little bit? No, I'd never presume. I would always ask. I would always ask. I would always ask. I would always make an exchange. But a friend should always ask. A friend should always ask. Can I try that?

Oh my God, yes. No, don't ask. You offer yours. Does anybody want to try this? And then you look directly at the person that has food you want to eat and you look at them and say, what about you? You want to try this?

You want to try some of this? You want to do switchies? Oh no, I think I might get in there. With close friends, I might be like, oh, can I have a go? Can I have a go? Oh, no. We do it when we have cocktails together as a group. We go this.

Yeah, and then half your cocktail is gone because you only get like a centimeter. And then someone's on a Prosecco and you're like, well, it's only fair if I have a try, even though I know what that's going to taste like. Yeah. But you know, it's not sort of an asking, oh, can I have a go of your drink? It's just now a thing. Well, a study has looked into this very thing. Yeah.

About people who take food off people's plate without permission, without even asking, just reach in and grab. Rude. This is error. And apparently 49% of people are particularly irked by it. I can't believe it's not more. I can't believe it's not more. I can't believe it's not, yeah, like 80 or 90%. Yeah. Because I'm guessing that most of the

food taking would be a partner, right? So you'd let it slide. Yeah. It'd have to be. And 27% of people disliked the expectation of like splitting meals or sampling from other people's dishes. What do they do when they go to a restaurant where they say we do things a little bit differently here? You get enough of smaller plates and two or three bigger plates.

Things come out as they're ready and the plates are designed for sharing. I don't know if you've ever eaten in a restaurant, but we do things a little bit differently here. Sometimes I am a bit like when they're like, let's just get a few big plates. I'm like, yeah, but I want what I want. Yeah, and also like I'm actually mega hungry. And then I get food anxiety where I'm like, I'm not going want what I want. Yeah, and also, like, I'm actually mega hungry.

And then I get food anxiety where I'm like, I'm not going to be satiated by this. I'm going to miss out. Get more. Get more. I'm going to miss out. Yeah. Order some more.

I've got no qualms in a group of men like, I think we're going to order some more. Even if people are like, whoa, I'm full. I'll be like, the group will order some more. Yeah. The group shall be ordering some more. This is why Bourne leaves with bags and bags of doggy bags. Yeah.

Doggy boxes. Who was I talking to the other day about? I was listening to a podcast and they were talking to a comedian who is the orderer. Oh, hon, did you think you were talking to friends? No, I was listening. Did I say who was I talking to the other day? Yeah, you thought you were having an actual human interaction. No, I was, that's the great thing about podcasts.

It's like they're your friends. It's like you're in the room with them. You're in there with them. Isn't that right? It's like right now, you know, it's like we're in the car with you. What's your take on that, listener? Now that's interesting.

That's interesting. Great call. And what would I say? But they were talking about how they've got a comedian friend who orders for the table. And they were talking about- That's you. That friend who orders for the table And they were talking about That's you I like that

That's you Yeah I always order for the table Real Dom daddy He just gets the menu And turns me on And he does it And we just carry on talking and drinking And they come over and they're like

Who's that guy Yeah I'll take care of it I like taking care of it And then he's That was him He was like I really like doing that And they're like well we like when you do it as well.

But there's only certain people. You've got to, there's something about you. We know that you're a foodie. The food you make is of a high quality. So we're like, okay, he's got good taste. Yeah. And it's a hot daddy plan. Imagine if you were like, our kids never go out without parents that dine,

but the waiter comes to the table and there's a whole table of kids and the kid's like, I'll actually order for the table. It's fine, guys. I know. Now, what about your nuggies? Imagine the six of us going out and beautiful Shannon's like, I'll order for the table. I'll be like, oh, God, now she's twisting open a V.

How do we know? What are we going to get here? Your tenders and mac and cheese Are they spicy? Because we don't like spicy food We want to strip all spice from this If it's too flavourful I'm going to be sending you straight back to the kitchen We want more mac than cheese

Get it back I like it when you order for the table I like ordering for the table Because I'll always order right to the point where the waiter's eyes start opening like, he's ordering too much. And then I'll be like, like in New York. You asked. Do you remember that time in Queensland?

They were like, this is too much food. And we ate all of it. Yeah, apart from the rice. Yeah, we had that. We spread the rice around the table. I love that. I had some rice under my sous vide. I won't stop ordering until they say, we think that's enough for them.

Yeah, I love that. And you always ask and be like, is that absurd? They're like, mm. It's getting there. Okay, one more. One more. One more. I had an amazing time on Friday. I emceed the annual Cure Kids Gala dinner.

She's done some charity and she wants to go on about it. That's a posh event. It was very posh and basically the premise of it is that, you know, it's like a normal fundraiser where people buy a table and then

you host a big dinner and you fundraise for Cure Kids and I was like, great! Now, I have to say, and this is just for free, I didn't really understand what Cure Kids and I was like, great. Now, I have to say, and this is just, this is for free. I didn't really understand what Cure Kids did. I thought that they were just, you know, another, to be completely transparent, another charity that you give money to

and you don't know where it goes. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And you're like, sure. Well, you kind of know where it goes. You're like, they do things. Kids for kids. I assume they're trying to cure children.

Crazy, eh? Yeah. Primarily eh? Yeah. Primarily from the title. If they're not doing something in that area, I'm going to be aghast. Yeah. They genuinely are. This was a thing I learned about it was the money that goes to cure kids is, goes to research. Yep. Like science

and research. Like that's where the money goes. You've lost me. I don't believe in science. No, I know. Amethyst as well though. Crystals as well. Crystals and the moon. Okay. You've lost me. I don't believe in science. No, I know. Amethyst as well, though. Crystals as well. Crystals and the moon. Okay, you've got me back on board. So all the money you give to Cure Kids goes into science and that literally comes up with cures for illnesses.

Which is amazing. Very tangible. It was amazing to learn about it. Anyway, I went there and I was like, what are we talking here? And I found out that last year's MC was Jackie Clark. From When the Cat's Away. Iconic Kiwi. Yeah.

And I found out her number and this like fierce competition in me was like, eat my dust, Jackie Clark. So that whole night I was on the mic being like do not let Jackie Clark beat me. So she raised X amount of money last year. Yeah I don't even know

if I'm allowed to say how much but it was like a hell of a lot. Okay. When I found out the number I was like

whoo. And you're like I'm gonna beat this. I'm gonna beat this and then I had people in my ear being like looking at the tables being like

there's the money he's the money she's the money. I was like, right. Playing with these people. It was so much fun getting money out of millionaires. It was an absolute blast. And it was all for the good of charity.

I mean, God, the wine was floweth. And people getting loose and by the end we did an auction. Cask wine? Yeah, it was Cask. It was Country Red. Country Red, and people getting loose. And by the end, we did an auction. Cask wine? Yeah, it was Cask. It was Country Red. Country Red. That's a house medium. And I think for the wine, it was either a Sav or it was a house medium.

It's good to know that millionaires drink Cask wine as well. I know the richest man in the room, who I won't say who it was, came up to me at the end. How much? Is he on the rich list? Did you know? Oh, yeah, I've heard that name because he's so rich. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He, Did he leave in a helicopter? Probably. Okay. He's got a few. Wow. Yeah.

Does he? They were telling me that when they go to parties, when they go to parties, when you're like, they go to parties and if you're at his house and you're like,

I might go home, he'll be like, oh yeah. Chopper comes again again what if your house doesn't have a helipad no they'll take you they'll take you

they'll take you they'll take you they'll take you they'll take you they'll take you you repel down like SWAT yeah okay oh my god

imagine them being absolutely cut is this my house yeah that's you down there house they're putting a harness on you and you're like we're about to get sexy

in the helicopter. And then they just boot you out. Oh my God, you drop and Aaron's there like, thank you. Takes off the carabiner. Cheers, mate. It was such a blast, honestly. Getting money out of rich people for sick kids.

What a fun way to spend your Friday. Did you beat Jackie Clark? I beat Jackie Clark. I beat Jackie Clark. Thank. I beat Jackie Clark. Thank you very much. Round of applause. All for charity. All for charity. I just had an incredible night hearing about the work that they do.

But it was funny because I've emceed a ton of events and most of the events I emcee are like raucous advertising awards and that kind of thing. Industries where they go and they blow out and they're rough and it's wild. All the reps are up from Napier for the big night. And they are set to come out. When you say blow out, you mean hoover up.

I mean everything. Everything. I'm talking. They get crazy. Now I knew being a charity that is focused around children, it was like boozy, but it was, you know, a little bit more controlled. Have some respect.

We're millionaires in here, guys. Behave like it. Yeah. And I did my like opening bit and it was going really well. And then I did get a little whisper in my ear by one of the organisers being like, oh, Hayley, great.

Just, we're loving it. Fantastic stuff. This feels like a shit sandwich. I have had it. It's just a little word to rein in the swearing a little bit. But fantastic stuff. There it is. It was a shit sandwich I have had it as a little word to rein in the swearing a little bit But fantastic stuff There it is, a shit sandwich Bread, shit

I got a little shit sandwich Another little bit of bread What swear words were you dropping? Well, I just said a few little things I just said a few little swear words And, you know, there weren't any kids in the room But it was a class event I needed to class it up

Do you know what really highlighted for me? I've got a real potty mouth. And obviously on air I try not to. Though I did. I said a casual F this morning and you guys didn't really hear it. I heard you choke on it. And I went. And I just carried on like the broadcasting.

Yeah, I carried on like a broadcasting. But it's very hard for me. And also like when I was emceeing, I had had a couple of gin and tonics as well. So I was like. So a bit pirate mouthy. So when I had to think about it when I was emceeing, I had had a couple of gin and tonics as well. So I was like, it's a bit pirate mouthy. So when I had to think about it, I was like, wow,

I do swear a lot. You did it. You helped raise the money. Honestly, couldn't think of a more worthy charity to give money to. Play ZM's Fletch,

Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a study has been, this is out of America, it's found that we are really just creatures of habits. We are. We find what we like and we stick to it.

And we do it. We don't try new things. No. So it's found that the average American hasn't tried a new restaurant in five months. Oh, God. They haven't found a new TV show in four months or a new song that they've liked. Yeah. They just go back to re-watching

shows and movies they like and have already seen. I love finding new shows. Madeline Sama used to say this to me because Queen's my favourite band. And she's like, yeah, look, they're a great band, but they're done. He's dead. So when it comes to music,

you're just going to be listening. Madeline Sama. She's like, you're never going to be listening. Madeline, Sammy. She was like, you're never going to get new music from your favourite band. The Beatles released a new song last week. Well, Queen released a new song last year that they found. So one in my 30 years. AI could literally live on bands forever and make new music all the time.

I mean, it won't be their actual music. And you'll know it in your soul. But it's a good point from here. You're not finding, you're not searching out anything new. And so you're always... You're always just doing the same thing. I mean, I tried to suggest something new last week. I tried to suggest to Vaughn that we start a touch rugby team. And that was poo-pooed.

I had so many messages from people, men, women, over the age of... Anybody on the wrong side of 30 to be starting playing touch rugby. If you played it all the way through, well done. Congratulations to you. But it's no time to start now. You've been training at the gym. I've got faith in you.

Yeah, thank you very much. It's a different thing. Fletch, you could join. It'd be great. It's a different situation. We've got our young runner join. It'd be great. It's a different situation. We've got our young runner here. Nope. Old thighs McGee at the back.

I'm ready to bloody get in there. Power take off. This is what I wanted to ask this morning. Maybe we take some phone calls on it. Is there something new that you want to try, but you just haven't been bothered, just can't get around to it? Yeah.

I mean, I've been thinking about, we played a game last night, side thought, to get to my main thought thinking about, we played a game last night, side thought, to get to my main thought. Yeah. We played a game last night. If you had unlimited money and you can't buy me a car or a house or travel,

what's the gift you'd buy me? Oh, that's a good question. so we sat there and then we were like, and I said to Aaron, I'd go to like Crane Brothers or something

and get him a custom made suit because he's a big long man. Yeah. And when people make him suits, they make them all ginormous. He was like, that's nice. I thought you said you were going to buy him a crane and then I was on board. I know! Because I think a crane on the back of a truck would be a fun thing to have.

Can you imagine a crane in my backyard? No, but if you've got endless money, buy a depot. We're selling a whole transport. But we could just come around and like crane things. It would be so much fun. Crane what? The backyard's not that big. You lifted the queeler deck over the back of your house. You had a portal.

You've got, your house is crane central. Yeah, but they're going to be gone soon. Anyway. On the back of the crane truck. I'm buying the man a suit. I was more thinking

we could just crane each other margaritas. Oh my God. You're at one end and I'm on the deck and you're at the back end and we just go, crane.

And his was that he would, he would convert our garage, uh, convert our garage into a studio and fill it with instruments like a Steinway grand piano, guitars and whatnot. So, and I was like, I really, I know I keep saying I want to learn drums, but that's what I want. I want to learn drums and I want to get guitar lessons. I want to be a multi-instrumentalist. Well, you've got endless money and you're staying in the same house. No, the rule was, the rule was you can't move house.

Oh, you can't move house. Sorry, I didn't hear that. No. No, the rule was you can't move house. Oh, you can't move house. Sorry, I didn't hear that. No, no, no house, no travel. You don't have to move, but could he buy you a practice space? It could be next to the crane depot. That's when you get some sort of... Yeah, but I don't want to be starting my band and there's the sound of cranes.

But why is it just that we get bogged down with life? And it gets harder to do new things as you're older. Like as a kid, people would say, oh my god, teach your kids instruments because it's easier when you're young. You absorb it all and now you're an adult and you get to play an instrument. Trying to learn something new as an adult, you're like, it's too hard. But I also wonder if when you're an adult

you might want to do something more than when you wanted to do it when you were a kid. Do you know when you're a kid and your parents are trying to get you to try heaps of things? Yeah. You're like, I'm not really loving any of these. I just want to watch TV. Yes. But when you're a kid. Do you know when you're a kid and your parents are trying to get you to try heaps of things? Yeah. You're like, I'm not really loving any of these. I just want to watch TV. Yes. But when you're an adult you'd want to do it. As an adult you can fund more of those activities.

Like, you might not be able to buy all those instruments when you're a kid. Your parents might not be able to afford them. Do you want to try something new? Because you are very much a creature of habit. Yeah, I am. Your routine. You've got a real, a big routine. Why don't you try eating cake during the middle habit. Yeah, I am. Your routine, you've got a real, a big routine. When you try eating cake during the middle of the week, you're skinny.

Sorry. Sorry. I didn't have cake. No, I know, I'm on board. You're looking great. I'll 800 dials at him. I want to take some calls. When you try having a couple of drinks. Relax. You can text us. When you try having a nap in the middle of the day. 9696

What's a new thing you want to try as an adult? Could be a food as well Could be like a I've never tried Maybe you're one of those people that's like Never tried Brussels sprouts You're like You wouldn't want to

Or you would have, right? Yeah, but they're all the rage now Charred Brussels sprouts It could be anything It could be a new hobby It could be something you've always wanted to learn. What is it? The new thing you want to try, you just haven't got around to it.

Because, you know, adult, you just get busy with adult life. Perhaps we could inspire you to do it. Today could be the day for change. You want to learn a language. I mean, there's plenty of time left in the year. What are we up to now? April? Oh, babe.

We're heading towards the middle of November. It's November 6th, hon. 2021? No. Oh, I wish. Oh babe We're heading towards Middle of November It's November 6th 2021 No Oh I wish Text it 9696 0800 1000M

Is the number Tell us the new thing You want to try Well a new study Has found that And this is out of America The average person Is very much

A creature of habit. They don't like to try new things. They haven't, in the last four months, discovered a new song. Try anything new. Or a TV show, even. Yeah. They'll just go back to TV shows and songs they liked for years, forever. So we want to ask the question this morning,

and we want you to call or text in, do you want to try something new? Like, what have you always wanted? Like, maybe we can give you the inspiration. Yeah, I think so. Let's inspire some lives. Let's change some lives. Emma joins us.

Emma, what do you want to try or do? I said carpentry. Carpentry. That's cool. That's cool. Like, you want to build a bookshelf or something? Well, I mean, yeah, just like a range of things. I think it's just a bit more useful. Don't

get me wrong, I love ice and craft stuff. I don't know anything and all that kind of stuff. But I just think carpentry has a wider use for knowledge. Yes, as someone who is renovating at the moment, when I was in high school, the trades

were sort of sold as like the drop-out option. Good lord, I wish we all did it. I guess more aimed for men and a lower class of youth. And now we're all regretting it, aren't we?

Yes, absolutely. Building houses and building things. So you should just do a... Can you do like part-time courses or something? Yeah, you can. You can do night school. Night school. I think so. I think like Polytech or like Unitech do.

There's also, you should look at, I don't know where you live, but there's like often there's places that do like one night, you know, like you can go to cooking school. Oh, yeah. And you do one thing. Night school. Go to a business.

Yeah, you can go and they like teach you how to use a this or how to use a this. Erin looked at a few in Auckland and I was like, that's great. Because I would love to a business. Yeah, you can go and they teach you how to use a this or how to use a this. Erin looked at a few in Auckland and I was like, that's great. Because I would love to live in a tiny house one day. Oh, yeah, okay. Good start. Lots of drawers everywhere. There was never a reason to want that aside if I couldn't build it.

Yeah, get it. I love that. Go do a course. Yep. Exactly. Go do a course, hon. Touch back in five years when you're a fully qualified builder and we can... Presumptuous for Fletcher when he's going to have Touchback in five years when you're a fully qualified builder

and we can... Presumptuous for Fletcher when he's going to have a job in five years. Build us all tiny homes. Yeah, well, we might need it. Thank you, Emma.

Let's go to Cleopatra coming at you. Good morning. Good morning. Sorry, I had to say that. I had to do that. Every time. I know.

When I said it, I was like, this is the bitch coming at you. I would have gone for more of your classic Egyptian. No, I love it. Honestly. You would have said, how's Anthony? Just do it. Now, what is it that you've always wanted to try? Well, after that, I still eat carpentry.

That's useful. But I want to try pole dancing. Not the stripper kind. I said the fitness kind. The good thing about the fitness kind is if you change your mind, easily become the stripper kind. Translate it. Well, there you go.

Absolutely. A lot of people over the last few years have got into this for fitness. Yeah, I know. It makes you so strong because you're using all your upper body strength. And it's core strength, isn't it? Yeah. It's not easy. It's, like, really difficult.

Yeah. But I guess it's not something that I've gone around, you know, telling people because the name with stripper that's really, you know.

It's also. Would your thighs be squeaky on the pole? I always, that's my, because going down fire, fireman's poles as a kid, you'd go,

squeak, squeak, squeak. I know, like burn them. No, I think you talc them up and stuff. You talc up.

Talc up the thighs. I think you have to wear a particular outfit and everything. But you're finding the time to do it. And when you do it, you can do classes. And I think you can do one-on-one as well. And I think it's just kind of, yeah, getting over the nerves and embarrassment and trying to fit it in around mum life and work life and everything. Oh, my God.

I think it would totally, like, yes, you'd feel embarrassed the first couple of times. Then I know friends that do it for fitness, they feel super empowered by it. You've got to be careful though if you're putting in a pole at your own house. I recommend Emma to do it with her carpentry skills. Oh my god. What, a wooden pole? Putting them together.

No, no, no, a metal pole, but your joining would be carpentry based. She's a carpenter, not a welder. Splinters up your bloody thighs. I don't want splinters. No, you want your splinters. Don't listen to her. Claire Petra, thank you.

Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALS at M. What's the one thing you want to try? This is inspiring. Yeah. Haven't got around to yet. Luke Combs, Fast Cars at M. We're being truly inspired.

We're asking you what is the new thing you want to try. Now, we're not including the sexual texts coming through. That's up to you and the conversation that you want to have with the partner you choose to do that with. But good luck to you. Chris, good morning. What's holding you back? What do you want to try?

For myself, I've always wanted to do voice work, voice acting. Listen to your voice. Listen to it. Yeah, it's very deep, isn't it? Well, okay, thank you. Well, you get to work with Vaughan all day, so, you know, any voice is deeper, isn't it?

It is hard. Hey, hey, hey! I love that he says to you immediately. Yeah, wow. Actually, I think I've got the deepest voice in this studio to be honest, actually. She does. I'm doing a voiceover today, actually. One of my tips, take a breath before you do it and then pause.

You go... I don't think he asked for tips. No, he wasn't asking for tips. Imagine if a man said to a woman, here's some... Actually, that would never happen. You're right. Actually, that would never happen.

You're right. It would never happen, yeah. Chris, do you want to do a voiceover for us? Can you say, the show thanks to Mick Cafe? Well, it needs to be a bit longer than that. Okay, some more. Can you say,

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, the show brought to you by Mick Cafe? This is Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley and the new guy, Chris the voice guy, brought to you by Mick Cafe. Oh, there we go.

He's got personality, he's got humour. Yeah, but we are going to need you to stick to the script. Yeah. Sorry, it's not an improvised ad. Okay, we'll do one of your fun ad lib ones,

but then we're going to actually need a couple that are just exactly as the script states. That's when the person from the booth comes in. Hey, Chris, you great loved it. Love the energy. Great warm-up, Chris. Couldn't we just get it to the script? Chris, thanks.

You call some messages in. I'd love to give marriage a go, but I'm lacking the most important part. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. I'm not sure what they're after there. Boyfriend or girlfriend, yeah, okay. I want to learn how the trade part of big hardware stores works.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's the only place to go. The first time I did it. It's the best part. No, the first time I did it, I was so scared. You drive in and they let up a barrier and you're like, I don't belong here.

Yeah, because you're not a builder. Oh, my God, I know. And then you get out of the car and someone comes up to you and you're like, hey. And you're like, hey. Whenever I'm in one of those places like Mitre 10 or Bunnings, you see the trade building and you're like some serious stuff goes on there. Big stuff. I was in there yesterday.

It gave me such a fright. I was so nervous because usually Aaron does it. It's awesome. You drive in, the barrier goes up and then the rule is at the fridge at the end you always got to grab an energy drink. Wait, there's a fridge? There's a fridge and a three pack of peanut slabs. That's the rule! I don't make

them, but I follow them. It's an exclusive club. Just drive in there. Drive in there and see what happens. That's where you get the trailer if you want to borrow a trailer too. But don't go in if you're looking for like, you know, Sealy's No More Gaps. Like you've got to go in there for like some serious stuff. Wood. Wood bits. I'm currently trying to learn

how to ride a dirt bike. I'm 36 and the fear of falling and injuring myself is constantly in the back of my mind. I think if that fear's that year, that fear's got to stay

because that'll make you be more cautious. You've got to have no fear. No fear. Pain is sweat and fear. Leaving the body.

Or something. Nineties. Yeah. I've always wanted to learn how to play the saxophone what a sexy instrument is that? No do you know if you do it the proper way

you have to learn the clarinet for a couple of years before you're allowed to do the saxophone and now the clarinet is lame Yeah The clarinet is embarrassing

You don't have to do the clarinet You have to You can go straight to sexy sax No you can't go straight to sexy sax Could you go recorder to sax? Oh yeah that's way sexier Sorry No you go recorder to sexy sax. No, you can't go straight to sexy sax. Could you go recorder to sax? Oh, yeah, that's way sexier. Sorry. No, you go recorder to flute.

Recorder to flute. To clarinet. Clarinet to... Sax. To sax. But you've got to look like a lame clarinet player for a couple of years. That's what you've got to go through before you're just given that unbridled sexual energy of a saxophone player. We are moments away from having a bathroom.

Like, it is so close. Shower glass went in. You've got a toilet. Tiles. We've got a toilet. And then we're painting the ceiling. It's going well. Just your, these renos, it's painstakingly taking forever.

It's just like, you watch shows like The Block or all these reno shows and they just give you this false sense of everything happens so quickly. Yeah. Have you been to one of those block houses? They are rough. Oh really? They are rough around the edges. The painting's so bad. Yeah.

Also they're working on a slightly different budget. They've got so many tradies in there whereas we're like one or two at a time. Anyway, yesterday was the all important job of they're working on a slightly different budget. They've got so many tradies in there, whereas we're like one or two at a time. Yeah. Anyway, yesterday was the all-important job of putting the toilet roll holder next to the toilet. A very important job. Now, we have three things.

Don't let anybody do it for you. Don't let a plumber do it for you. I did, and mine's upside down. What? You can see the screw. Yeah. Oh hon. Yeah the screw should be on the bottom but I know I know. Yes. Oh my god. And I don't have the little

wrenchy thing that's small enough. Yeah. Otherwise I'd fix it. I'll bring one in next time. No because now the whole roll will be around the other way. I don't want it around that way. Yeah I know. And there's holes. And there's holes. Never let anybody else position your toilet roll holder because that's an individual's

choice. Yes, and we took it very seriously yesterday because our friend Andrew, he's like a great handy guy. He just is so good at everything. He often comes around the weekends, him and Aaron just do bits. Whenever he's there, like good things happen. We're like, right, let's do this. Nerve wracking part is we're drilling through tiles. So you've got to get a giant

drill bit. You've got got to do these holes. Real slow? A, just wet it. You're wetting as you're drilling? Wetting the whole time. It's diamond tip. Diamond. Diamond tip.

Diamond tip. Diamond and crescent tip. Yeah, we've got diamonds. Cut them open with diamonds. That's how well we're doing. Yeah. And then put them in. And so we did, we started easy.

We did the shower, the hook, a hook for your towel or your robe next to the shower oh okay did that had to get the height right you know

because we're not trying to put everything too high for Aaron yeah but not too low so you just really good conversations were happening

then it was the towel roll holder on the side of the vanity did that yeah then it was time for the toilet roll holder and the way we went about it was

because Aaron was like well he's got long knees so he sat on the toilet and was. And the way we went about it was, because Aaron was like, well, he's got long knees. So he sat on the toilet and was like miming like poo, poo, poo, poo, poo. Yeah, you go to the mine poo. You can't just sit there and like not give it the full method. And then so he'd do that and then was like reach forward sort of here. And he'd hold it there and be like, all right, I'll hold this. Now you go, Hayley.

I'll be like, yeah. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wees. You didn't do a poo poo poo poo poo nah you know me famously clogged up yeah wee wee wee wee wheeze more likely

and then I reached and I was like it's too far oh no but now it'll be too close for him so then we changed tiles we split the dirfs we came in one and then we said to our friend Andrew

who's a bit shorter will you try and then our friend Andrew sat on the toilet now I don't know if he did a poops or a wheeze. He was sitting but he could be a tucker. I don't know this about him. He sat down and he did a little. He might have

been doing one of those not quite sure's. Yeah, like I'm about to go out. Something could happen. I've had a couple of farts. Yeah, I'm about to go out. I'd rather do this at home. I'd just give it a couple of squeezes and see what's what. Yeah, a little nudge like that. You're like, oh, yeah, there's something there.

I'll invest some time in this. And then he reached. And then he reached, and it was sort of spot on. So we kind of came to like a happy medium. So hang on, on your toilet, is it on the left or the right? Because mine's on the right, and I'm right-handed. Mine's on the left, but our toilet's facing that way. Oh, yeah, she's left-handed.

Yeah, we've got a couple of lefties. No, both of our toilet roll holders are on the left. Yeah, but we don't have walls either side. There's a wall to the left. She's only got one option. And on the right is just more bathroom. Right. You could have got one of those standing,

those posh standing ones with a very heavy weighted base. I'm surprised you didn't because they're always brass. Yeah, they are old-fashioned. But no, our towel holder is there, our towel rail. Oh, okay. So we did that. And then we had to practice washing the hands and reaching for the hand towel. Getting out of the shower and hanging the thing.

It was a full acting thing. You don't want to have taken this long and this level of eye for detail in your renovation to rush hanging the toilet roll holder or the towel holders. And once you drill a hole through a tile, you ain't patching that and moving it if you get it wrong. No, no. God, it's bloody stressful, I tell you, but when you come round, you may look at it and be like, it's too far from the toilet.

Trust me, it's not. Because some people put them too much like this. And you go like, twist. People put them on the wall behind and you're like, no. What? Yeah. Never on the wall behind. No, not on the wall behind and you're like, no. What? Yeah. Never on the wall behind.

No, not on the wall behind. Yeah, man. Not on the wall. No. I've been on a couple recently. We were talking about it yesterday. I've been like, why are people doing that? You've got to go right west. Unless you stand up.

Drip, drip, drip. You're dripping, hon. You're dripping. You're dripping your bits all over. Exactly. Yeah, and that's not good. Yeah, no, it's nice and forward. It's forward and so it's a natural reach like that.

So it's sitting on the toilet. It's forward on the left. Forward to the left. Okay. I could do that. That's doable. Yeah, you're going to have a lovely time. That sounds good.

None of this. In fact, no obliques. Your most dominant hand reaching across is easier than your... Would there be a slight oblique to the left? Slight, but more like this. Rather than this. I think it's a Russian twist. More of a sort of reach and pull. Slight, but more like this. Rather than that. More of a Russian twist. I think it's a Russian twist.

More of a sort of reaching pole. We don't call it that anymore. Rather than that, yeah, we don't do that. What do we call it? Just a twist. The Ukrainian twist. Okay, if you're doing abicis as a German. I think he said a Soviet twist.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. USSR twist. Just a freedom twist. The freedom twist. Yeah, yeah. Okay, fantastic. Anyway, guys, a lot of thought went into it,

and I know you're going to appreciate it when you finally get to Poop in my house Can't wait to see the photos Don't know if I Will poop in your house What do you mean? I try not to poop

At friends' houses I poop in your house You shower in my house as well Yeah I know She does it at the same time She does it in the shower She poops in your shower This is a hell of a way

To find out But that's what she does In the shower. Play ZM's Fletch for tonight. Well, there is an app. This is a third-party app, and I will say a small disclaimer here that I believe this app is running currently at a one-star review on the App Store.

I trust a third-party app that's like, hey, guys, log in to me using your social media logons. Yeah, I mean, I would not recommend downloading this app just purely because of that reason. You're giving an app or another company your passwords to Instagram. So basically this app called Wrapped for 2023, when you put an Instagram into the app store, the first thing that comes up is Instagram Wrapped this.

People are searching it. A lot of people downloading this. And basically it will run analytics on your Instagram and tell you you're like a wrapped for the year, who your closest friend was, your top stories, your top friends, which- It will be most searched account. If you don't have a business account, you can get anyway.

What's it called? Wrapped for 2023. Don't. Now, somebody also saying, a lot of people in a news article I found are saying that every time they used it, it gave them different stats. And so they're saying maybe you can't trust it either. It's BS.

That it's BS. I'm downloading it right now. But if you have a business account for Instagram, you can get all these anyway. You can see your stories and all your analytics. Not quite like this. Don't allow. Connect Instagram. Yeah, I feel like

I just feel like my behaviour on Instagram is sometimes left better in the moment. Do you know what I mean? It's better to just leave that. That's self-reflective. Please explain. Well, just like what I search, who I search,

how often I'm on his page. Who you hate follow? Yeah, who I hate follow, the screenshots I've taken, the drunken messages I've sent. Does this third party app tell you your screenshots? So it tells you. How? It claims to present an in-depth analysis of your data Drunken messages of 10. Does this third party app tell you your screenshots? So it tells you. How? It claims to present an in-depth analysis of your data

after you download it from Instagram yourself. Don't. Yeah, see, that's the thing. You've got to give it permission to access your account and download everything. That is bad. And then by the time you find out how to renege that, it's too late.

It's too late. It will show, it claims to say how many people screenshot your posts, how many users have blocked you, and who you interacted with the most. Do you need that causing any problems in your relationship as well? What? No, you don't. Do you remember back in the day when Snapchat, and this was the- It listed your top three

Yes That was wild Those were wild days Wild days And it would have your top three friends And you'd be like But none of those are your girlfriends And how often did it

How often did it refresh it? Like I think daily Was it daily? Daily or weekly You talked to most of that day So you could just be Back and forward with someone And then all of a sudden

They're number one And you're like I don't know that if you were yeah conversating with them the most it would yeah

but yeah they ended that because it was causing too many dramas relationship dramas yeah or friendship dramas as well oh gosh yeah

I'm trying to get into it but I've got to sign into my Instagram by signing into my Facebook no don't do it no no no no no it feels like we're getting hacked this is why it's bad. This is why Instagram should just do this.

So that if you want to, yeah, do it within the app. Yeah, if you want to see your data, you can. If you want to share it, you can. But you can do that. There is some Instagram thing, isn't it? I'm sure it's done it before. It's like a grid of nine. Like, here's your nine most, oh, maybe.

Oh, everyone did that, shared your top posts of the year or something, eh? The ones that performed the best. I think that was a third party thing as well, though, maybe. Oh, everyone did that shed your top posts of the year or something. The ones that performed the best. I think that was a third party thing as well though, maybe. Was it? Maybe. I mean, all you have to do is go on my search page and see what I've been looking at this year. Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason,

Jason, Jason, some other guy. There's a couple of hot chicks on there too. Jason, Chloe Swarbrick. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Jason, Jason, Jason, some other guy. There's a couple of hot chicks on there too. Jason, Chloe Swarbrick. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Jason. Jason, Jason, Chloe. Yeah, that's basically my year summed up. I don't really need to. Really your type, that grit, isn't it?

Jason Mamoa and Chloe Swarbrick. Who I respect deeply. Yeah. Both of them. As a politician. As a politician and an actor and activist. Respect them both Next on the show

I like to respect them In different ways That's all Fact of the day And have we got a theme This week Yeah Native birds

Because it's bird of the century Time baby Where you can vote on I'm torn I haven't voted yet I'm torn No neither I'm so torn

Neither Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Birdoftheyear.org.nz is where you can go to put your vote on bird of the century. It's too hard this year, man. There's some beautiful birds in there.

We've got some beautiful birds. The kitadu is my favorite bird, but I can't. But it's one. Well, two flew over my house at the weekend. I was outside on the lawn and you heard them coming. Yeah, good stuff. Oh, I love it. They're the fatties. Fat, big breasts. Oh, I love it. That's the fat.

Fat, big breast. How are they flying? They're such big honkers. Always, every year there's controversy. Remember the Russians trying to rig it one year? Yeah.

Remember that? The bots, the Russian bots. Well, it's exciting and it's an election everyone can get behind and so I've got bird facts all week.

Right. Should we do something silly like make the seagull win? Like get everyone's vote for the seagull? There's seagulls on it. I think there bird facts all week. Right. Should we do something silly like make the seagull win? Like get everyone to vote for the seagull? There's seagulls on it. I think there's one or two special seagulls. Is it the black-billed gull that's the rarest seagull in the world? No, I mean the normal seagulls.

Just like a beach fish and chip seagull. Yeah, the fish and chip. And they stand on one leg to make you feel sorry for them, but then they put the leg down and you're like, damn it. Yeah, you've actually got two legs. You've actually got two. Right. Give my chip back. You liar.

Pry it out of its mouth. Yeah. I was only giving it to you because I thought you had one leg. I know, I felt sorry for you. So explain to me, we've got the Tarapuka, which is the black-billed gull, and the Tarapunga, which is the red-billed gull. The black-billed, serious trouble. The red-billed, in some trouble

They're bloody everywhere What's the one that's not then? Just the beach one Yeah Just the normal beach one Those are the beach ones What's a beach seagull? What about a chicken?

What if we got a chicken to it? That would be fun But it's not a native chicken We'd need a native chicken Do we not have a native chicken? Nah We don't have a native chicken Lame

We don't have a native chicken They could be endemic Where we release them And they kind of make themselves A home over the next century I don't know The black chicken. They could be endemic where we release them and they kind of make themselves at home over the next century. I don't know. The black-billed gull is the main one. Okay.

Yeah. Southern black-billed gull. Well, today's fact of the day is about the kiwi. Okay. Probably the most iconic bird. And, like, if you were going to talk about bird of the century, it'd be hard to go past the kiwi. Yeah, because it's our icon, isn't it?

It is. But it's our icon. It's our icon. It's embarrassing, though. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well... What do you do?

We don't even see you. You never come out. You never go to parties anymore. It's like an anxious Gen Zer just hides at home. It's all good. Let it go. Let him be at home. The fact is, the Kiwi have the smallest beaks in the world.

Wait, but they're really long. No, but the beak is only that little end bit or it's not the bit. Or the beak's inside it. That's not its beak. They walked right into my trap because it has a very long beak. I'm a pest. I'm a pest. I've been trapped. Technically, you

measure a bird's beak lengthwise from nostril to the end of the beak. Well, that's like starting under the balls. Yeah. To give it an extra inch. But the, this would be like the kiwi.

No, you would start at, Behave. You would start at the balls, but it's like the kiwi have the balls on the end because their nostrils are on the end of their beak and they're the only bird in the world that's got it. They've got the nostrils on the end of the beak so they can stick it in

and then sniff like, it's like under there, like in the ground. Like an anteater. But other birds with a long beak have the nostrils at the top. They've got them at the top. It always sits at the skull, whereas kiwis have the nostrils at the end of the beak.

Technically, and that's how you measure a beak. Technically. Right. So the kiwis actually have the shortest beaks in the world. Wouldn't it make more sense to have the nostrils at the top for water and stuff? Yeah, how are they drinking? And they're stuck in their beak into things.

But then they still have to snort it all the way up the beak. Before it became a problem. They could dip it in, no worries. Yeah, right. It's just that we've got such short noses. Once the water's in, it's more or less in the sinus, isn't it? This seems like a lot to clog up. Give it one of those afterwards.

They actually famously will put one claw up to one side, like rugby players, and go, and then the other side as well. So if they wanted to pick their nose. That's why New Zealanders do that. That's why we do that is because we learnt it off the Kiwi bird. If they wanted to pick their nose, they've got to go like that. Right on to the end, yeah. Their little paws.

Yeah, their hard reach. But yeah, if they wanted to pick their nose. I don't think they could. Short legs. So yeah, so they can stick their nose in the end, yeah. Their little paws. Yeah, their hard reach. But yeah, if they wanted to pick that up. Well, I don't think they could reach. Short legs. So yeah, so they can stick their nose in the dirt and once it's in the dirt, find the grub. Which way the grub is. Tremendous sense of smell.

Yeah. So there's one. You'll have them on a technicality because you'll say smallest beak in the world and then everyone will be like, no, it's really long. And you'll be like, ha! That'd be a good question for a pub quiz. Yes. Because that'd really roll the table no, it's really long. And you'd be like, that would be a good question for a pub quiz.

Yes. Because that would really roll the table up, that kind of question. Oh my God, yeah. Although it would seem too obvious at a pub quiz. Yeah.

If they were like, does the kiwi bird have the longest or shortest beak in the world? You'd be like, it's too obviously long. There must be a loophole. Yeah, but then Janice

from accounts would be like, of course it's Janice. It's a trick question. It's a double, yeah. Yeah, and she gets everyone on board and then- Good old Janice. Does you wrong. There's always a Janice at accounts will be like, of course it's Janice. It's a trick question. It's a double, yeah. Yeah, and she gets everyone on board and then... Good old Janice. You're wrong. There's always a Janice at the pump list.

There's always a Janice. Shut up, Janice. So today's Fact of the Day and the first for Native Bird Week here at Fact of the Day is the Kiwi technically... Technically the Kiwi have the smallest beaks in the world. Fact of the Day, day, day, day, day. I want to know if anyone listening has crashed their car because they were perving.

Because AA Insurance has basically done a rapt know if anyone listening has crashed their car because they were perving. Because AA Insurance has basically done a rapt and they ask how the crash has occurred. 36% of them were from distractions. 3% of those were because they were looking at an attractive pedestrian

driver or other passenger. You could literally be perving at your own wife and be like, damn, I'm married good. Oh, yeah, because if it's anybody apart from your partner, you never say what calls them. I know. I'm even surprised that 3% of people admitted to perving at someone hot

and crashing. Like, you'd just be like, I saw a, I'm pretty sure it was a rabbit, ran across the road. Yeah, a rabbit with a massive rack on it. Rabbit with a ba-dong-a-dong. Oh, and it's just like a little fender bender. You end up just hitting the car in front of you. Yeah, jamming something because you're too busy perving.

I love that. So 3% of New Zealand crashes from AA. Yeah. Are due to people perving. It's got to be more. It's got to be more. Okay. Let's take some calls.

0800-DARLS-AT-EMARS at MSN number, text through 9696. Have you crashed? Oh, will we accept people riding bicycles into the back of cars? Yep, I'll take it. What about humans crashing into other humans or lampposts? Like that time you walked into a pole. Yeah, but I was waving at that tram. Yeah, but there was a hottie on there.

Was there? There was a hottie on the tram. Always a hottie on a tram. AA Insurance have done like their rapt of the year. Yeah, 3% of crashes this year were due to people perving at hot people. Pedestrians, other drivers. I love that when you see another driver, you're like, far out. Where are you off to?

And then you pull a U and you follow them. Yeah, yeah. You follow them and you're like. And they pull into just a suburban house and you're like, this can't be their house. Oh, my God. Can it? I don't know how I'll find out.

I'll knock on the door and I'll go inside. Oh, no, but they won't answer the door. I'll sneak in the back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe the next day when they've gone to work so you can tidy the place up while they're not there

so they get home to a nice tidy house. Yeah, maybe I'll see what sheets they're using. I'll jump in their bed and roll around. Yeah, and then maybe pop a few cameras up because you just want to see their reaction when they come home to a nice tidy house. Yeah, maybe I'll see what sheets they're using. I'll jump in their bed and roll around. Yeah, and then maybe pop a few cameras up because you just want to see their reaction when they come home to a beautifully tidy house. And I want to make sure they're wearing cotton undies. I have a look through the drawer.

Have a little rum. In fact, I might take a pair with me because I want to get them another pair, but I don't know their sizing yet. So I'll have to hold them up. I may clean those escalated, guys. Those escalated very quickly. What, do you want this hot person or not?

Yeah, what? They love to be chased. Or you're going to let something like a husband get in the way? How embarrassing though if you perv at someone and you have a crash and they end up not being hot because you thought they were hot and then you look and you're like, oh, they're actually not my time. Nicola,

this happened to you or your sister? Yeah, my sister-in-law. She was in Wellington on the highway. Yep. And she saw her partner coming in the opposite direction and super excited and was waving him down and ploughed into the car in front of her and caused basically a five-car pileup.

Oh, my God. She was perving at her own car. She gets to see that shit every day. You get that on tap. Yeah. You've got to at least perv at someone who you're not going to see again. Yeah, when your partner's not there. When your partner's not there.

Exactly. Nicola, thank you. Mel, you actually caused a crash because you were the hot person Congratulations Apparently No, don't be humble, you sound hot But are you a 10, a 9 or an 8? A 7?

Someone else can be the judge of that 10, that's confidence That's hot person confidence I would never entrust another human to rate me out of 10. They'll always mark me too low. So what kind of accident was it? So my stepdad has a trucking company. I'll get my plug in.

Took a high up transport. Wait, is this about... I know it sounds like maybe you don't want... Anyway, carry on. Oh, you've done it now. Anyway, I was about 17 years old. I was a passenger and we pulled up to another truck yard and he was just picking something up and

another truck was driving past us and that truck drivers tend to obviously have a great angle to look down into other vehicles. Oh my god! I was wearing short shorts. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. He was too busy. By the way, he was driving at snail's pace, but he was too busy eyeballing my legs that he crashed into about, I don't know, six fuel barrels that were stationary, obviously. Oh my God.

Oh my, you are a 10. Wow. Oh, the poor guy still gets even crapper than I am today. Yeah, not doing anything for that truck driver stereotype. No, no, no. Mel, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Somebody said, does it have to be humans?

Because I was biking around from school once with my friend and I was like, oh my God, check out that dog's huge balls. And then my friend was like, oh my god, those are huge bull bulls. And biked straight into the back of a parked car and rolled over the whole thing. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean technically you were perving at big balls. You were, they were. So yeah. Humans.

I was looking at two shirtless guys unloading wood and I crashed. Do you need a moment? I was looking at two shirtless guys. I was looking at some shirtless and i crashed into the car in front of me luckily it was just a tap no damage was caused oh okay for the hot guys unloading they knew i immediately they're like we did that uh me and a few of the boys were parking up at the nightclub. The parks were pointing towards a brick wall.

I was watching my now-misses walk into the club, and I crunched the car into the wall. Didn't do much damage, but made a massive bang, and everyone saw that I was perving and crashed. But my now-misses, they said. Yes. I think it's at work. So it must have worked.

When I went to the clothing store, we worked office at a construction site, and my friend Janine and I used to go out. I think that's why I started smoking, because we needed an excuse to go stand out the front. And we'd have daris and perv. Now I'm married with kids to the construction guy. She is. Yeah.

She is. Yeah. No, no. They were perving at him. It's called a reverse cat call. Yeah. It's called a fox whistle. Is it?

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, married with kids for years. Wow. Let's see them fires, big boy. Yeah. And I'm like, please. Hammer out. called yeah it's called a fox whistle yeah is that okay yeah yeah married with kids for years wow let's see them fires big boy yeah they're like please hammer out we don't like that yeah um walked into a parking meter because i was perving at an immaculately restored 1959 mustang does that count oh you were proving at the car i thought you are nine mustang i believe believe the Mustang started in 1964. I don't even know. I don't know if that's even... I don't care.

I literally don't give a shit. I mean, I'm all for... I don't care either. Just do not care. Just lying. Wow. My mum was 21 in 1967. So she was a bit of a 67 Mustang

and she was walking to a party with her mini dress on in 1967. Oh my God. A scandal. Heard a massive bang. A police car was driven up the back of by a double-decker bus. The bus driver admitted he was looking at her legs and didn't see the... Didn't see the... Oh, no, so the cop had driven up the back of the double-decker bus. He admitted he was looking at her.

Your mum's legs are so hot that the cop didn't see a literal bus. That's good, eh? It was bright red. That's a compliment. Yeah, and then they got married? Or this is... No. are so hot that the cop didn't see a literal bus that's good eh it was bright red that's a compliment wait and then they got married or this is

no mum just still brings it up even though it was 56 years ago yeah of course she's not letting that go

mum's hanging on to that yeah not reading that one we've got to fish through a few of them

when the movie A Knight's Tale was out oh I love that movie Oh RIP movie Heath Ledger Paul Bettany The guy off Game of Thrones

The other girl Whose name I can't remember I feel terrible now The guy from Game of Thrones I said his name Or his main acting role Yeah Anyway there was a movie poster

Just waiting for the text To refresh When the movie Nightstar was out my friend and I both nearly had accidents because we were distracted by giant Heath Ledger posters on buses

Yeah Oh R.I.P R.I.P That was prime Heath Ledger wasn't it? Yeah man He was all shaggy and hot and tanned

and summery and long hair Yeah Like wearing Do you need a moment? Coat of armour Yeah Bit of big joust Yeah He's and a big joust.

He's got his big jousting pole. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that.

We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.