ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th September 2024

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Warmest Winter  Tinder Leave  Final Rankings!  Hayley's Purchase  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things are Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. It's Fri-yay. Hey, Bourne.

It's Fri-yay. No. No, it's Fri-yay. Bourne's been stuck behind a house on the motorway this morning. No, the house, no. Not behind the house. The house was coming the other way and it was so wide, everybody had to stop.

Good house? What are we talking? What vintage? Usually they're old. Yeah, just old. Not my cup of tea. Like a villa or a bungalow? You'd be right up to dropping a couple of million bucks on it.

You know me, I love to just pour money into a money pit. Into a money pit. Yeah. The older and more cracked, the better. Oh, yes, please. I just get so thrilled seeing houses be moved. I know, because they shouldn't be there. No, what are you doing?

It's like, have you ever seen them take a plane on a barge down a river? What are you doing? I haven't. That's more mind... Google a video of that. That's more mind... Yeah, it's more mind-blowing. They take the wings off.

Sometimes, yeah. What, so it's just the... It's the plane on a barge, yeah. Plane on a barge. Sort of video of a plane on a train. Yeah, sometimes they train the plane bodies to the factory to then put the wings on them. Oh, what are you doing on the river?

It's just seeing something in a different environment. Yeah, I know, it's crazy. Well, we're going to do a draw this morning, later in the show, and send somebody to see Sabrina Carpenter live in San Fran. Exciting. Flights, tickets, everything, all for you and a friend. We're going to give you one last chance before that draw, before 7 o'clock, to go in that draw.

Oh, oi, oi. So listen out for that Mother Trucker Activator. It is coming up. The top six as well, Dunedin. The warmest winter on record in Dunedin. That's correct. When did the record start? Like the 40s or something, eh?

The year 000 with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Oh, right. Is that when the weather starts? When he started the Met service. Okay. That's crazy. I thought it was a... Nah, it was a warm winter.

Yeah, okay. On a whole all around. There might have been spots of cold, but on a hole. Yeah. A very warm winter. I got the top six signs that it was a warm winter in Dunedin. Silly little poll as well is coming up. Are you scared of flying?

I love it. Love it. You're going flying today. Yeah, I'm not afraid of it. The bumpier, the better. I know. I love a bit of turbulence. I'm like, whee!

But nothing bad's ever happened. I mean, yeah, I've never been thrown on the ceiling of a plane. I'd probably hate that. Yeah. I'd probably hate that. Yeah, I'd probably hate that. I'd imagine plummeting, you know. I reckon breaking your neck, you know, on a plane, like, would not be that fun. On an overhead locker, no, it would be fine. Yeah, not that fun.

Give you the results soon, but next on the show. We millennials, and I include the three of us in this, we're buying more and more of one thing. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Don't forget, Bored to Boss. It's part of the ZM Podcast Network. Episode 7 is out now.

Georgia hosts this. She's the creator and designer of Bored George's Sunglasses. Episode 7 is out. Lisa Perez-Cullen is on this episode. She launched her business Harper James. Just chats to her all about that. Podcast about entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurial shop.

Encouraging you how to do it, what it's all about, the behind the scenes. It's great. So you can download that on the ZNM Podcast Network on iHeartRadio. I always like to start dinner. You know, before you get your main, you have an entrepreneur. Oh, no, you've got that slightly wrong. Have I? Entrepreneur.

Oh. Yeah. It's not an entree of paneer cheese. Unless you were having an entree of paneer. Unless you were having an entree paneer. I would listen to a podcast about that. Just entrees made of purely paneer-based entrees. Hello.

My name's Vaughan Smith, and on today's podcast, it's- Entrepreneur. A different entree from around the world. Yeah. Today, it's entreepaneer from India. Today, it's those tiny money bags from Thailand. Oh, I love a money bag. Always overcooked and mad in the middle.

Do you know what? And there's barely any meat in them. There's barely any filling. I've just found a garlic paneer recipe that is a quick and easy... Palak paneer curry is boss. Six garlic cloves Dried red chillies

Yum yum yum vinegar Blend it up Paneer Welcome to my podcast I say yum yum yum a lot You do Hey We all consider ourselves millennials.

Some of us more in the middle and some of us more cusp. Okay? You look at me. Some of us more cusp. Some of us are. I'm an X-ennial, okay? No, let's just call you a millennial. I just said before you've got a Gen Z body, a millennial mindset,

and an X-birthday. It's fine. Okay, great. I'll take it. So this is a study out of the UK looking at coffee expenditure. Okay. Coffee expenditure. How much different generations.

They only looked at millennials, gen Z, and baby boomers. Sorry to interrupt, Hayley, but can I just say that if you are looking to purchase a coffee this morning- Where are you getting yours from? You could go to McCamp. Great things are brewing on the go. Yeah. Get a delicious cup of barista-made coffee on the go.

Yeah, thank you. Delicious. So you said they asked millennials, Zed, boomers. What about the oft-forgot Generation X? Yeah, no, we don't care. They're really slipping through the cracks. I know. They don't get mocked.

In the 90s, Gen X were the kings of the castle. I know. And they slipped through the cracks. They never get roasted. They never get roasted. It's the boomers and millennials and Gen Zs. Yeah. They're all the ones fighting, whereas Xs are just like,

I'll just keep my head down. Yeah, we did all right, and we're just going to keep our head down. The last generation have gone pretty quiet. Yeah, they're dying. Dying or dead. Dying or dead. Yeah, yeah. 1883 to 1900, they'd be 124 at the youngest.

Yeah. And even if they are alive, they're pretty or dead. Yeah, yeah. 1883 to 1900, they'd be 124 at the youngest. Yeah. And even if they are alive, they're pretty quiet. They're really quiet. And they're probably not going out and buying a delicious cup of barista made coffee from McCafe. Oh, no. They've probably got teabags. They've got a bell teabag and that's it.

And they're drying it out and reusing it. Yeah, yeah. They're getting three cups out of one bag. Because there could be another war. 100%. We've got to be careful Okay so who's spending the most Who do you think it is

Out of Baby Boomers, Gen Z's and Millennials On coffee On coffee Takeaway coffees in particular Millennials Millennials By far Spending

What's the pound now About double We're double Yeah double About $1400 to $1500 a year $1500 a year, $1,500 a year, on takeaway coffees, millennials. Under that is your Gen Zers spending about $1,200 a year.

Okay. And then baby boomers are like $500 a year. They're not bothering. Well, they go out to a cafe maybe at the weekend for a special occasion, don't they? For a special occasion. Otherwise, it's a cup of Greggs. Not every weekend. Otherwise. Instant Greggs. Not every weekend.

Otherwise. It's an instant Greggs. Do you know what I mean? That's all they're having. Whereas millennials, we love going out. We love it. We literally went out after the show yesterday and got a coffee. I know. For me, the more expensive the breakfast, the more millennial I feel. You know what I mean? That's the way to reclaim my youth. Like if there's avocado in it.

If there's avocado in it and at the end they say that's $40. And you're like, of course it is. This is ridiculous. Well, no one's going anywhere for a $40 breakfast. And that's extreme. But it often starts with a three when you get a coffee and maybe a little treat at the end. I know, it is.

It's in the 30s now. Yeah, I know. So you're millennials. I mean, we're spending a lot. But Gen Z is actually quite close to that. Gen Z is spending on coffee. You're never going to buy a house at that rate. What you want to do is every time you want to have a coffee, you put that $5 in a jar and it all contributes towards buying a home.

When you get to the end of that jar and it's full, you get on a time machine and go back to 1970 and buy a house for $20,000. That's right. No, you go back even further to the 1840s and you find a blank spot of land and you say to the local tribe, have a sip of the magic bean juice. Yeah, excuse me, chief. In exchange for this huge wave of land.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what, go back and that land will just be there. You put a fence up and you leave it. No one touch it. No one will go in there for like a hundred years. And then you get back and you find out you owe back rates on it that are like two million dollars in rates.

But it's still cheaper than buying that land. Still cheaper than buying a house. This could be the first episode of our How to Get on the Property podcast. Time machine. On the podcast ladder. I'm busy recording entrepeneurs straight after the show today but I'm keen to get into time travel property investment with you as soon as possible.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly, that silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole, are you scared of flying? Because, you know, they're saying now that the Earth is getting warmer,

the climate's changing, the cases of severe turbulence are on the increase. Ah, yes. Tumultuous atmosphere. Yeah. And more and more news stories of planes just, like, you know, dropping a few hundred feet. Jesus, don't say that.

Don't say that. Ah, yeah, more and more stories of planes just plummeting out of the sky. Dropping. No, I know, but there has been, like, a lot of, like. There has been, yeah. Well, they ask you to remain, when you're in your seat, to remain buckled. Always buckle. I know. I always buckle. I know.

I always buckle. I might go a little bit looser. Yeah, same, to make room for my bloated gas gut. For whatever that, like those eggy things are that they serve you. I know, they just fill with air. It's so awful. Well, I would say this is higher than I expected. It is, yeah.

It makes me think when you're on a plane that you must be surrounded by people who have a fear of flying yeah although they're less

likely to fear so maybe slightly less represented in the air yep 21% of people said yes they're scared of flying

79% said no it's a lot because your wife isn't a huge fan she's got a lot better because I think she can't be scared in front of the kids

because then the kids feed off that fear. Mum's scared, so I guess we should be scared. Aaron's not great. He doesn't love it. It's like whenever there is turbulence, you look straight at the flight attendant, especially on those little planes where they're facing you. Yeah.

You're like, are they panicking? And you can see them. Are they panicking? And they're doing their rosary beads. Yeah. Praying to a God that they only believe in in extreme situations. You're like, oh my god! Mason said,

not scared of flying but petrified of heights. Do love a window seat though. It is weird. It's a different sort of height though, isn't it? Yeah, you just feel safer in your... You're inconceivably high. Yeah, you're not actually up there. You're in a little room. That's why I preferred skydiving to bungee jumping,

because you are so high when you skydive. But then bungee jumping, you're like, no, no, no, there's the water. It's right there. That's the splat zone. Yeah. Yeah. Lee says, I love flying the bumpier the better,

although I don't think I've been on a really bad flight before. So there's probably a point where it becomes far scarier than mildly amusing. Ashley, didn't used to be, but since having a baby, my intrusive thoughts are rampant and I've become scared of flying. It'll be my 11-month-old first flight with us tomorrow. Trying to be calm about it.

Did she message that yesterday? Did you look at driving? Yeah. She messaged that yesterday at quarter past eight, so she's flying today. Good luck. Maybe she's going to Melbourne. Yeah.

On your flight. Hey, you've got some of the best, you've got the same noise-cancelling headphones as me. I had a crying baby on a 16-hour flight. They're good, eh? Didn't hear it once. Yeah, beautiful. Gorgeous.

And also, I'll have a little glass of wine, and I'll watch a movie. I'll be fine. Yeah. Just like a night out, really I'll have a little glass of wine and I'll, you know, watch a movie. I'll be fine. Yeah. Just like a night out, really. Just like a little night out. Steve's in used to me, but now I have kids, I feel like I'm too tired and busy to have as much anxiety as I used to.

Oh, yeah. You're just like, I don't have time for that. I don't have time to be anxious. Sam, more turbulence. You pay enough for a ticket. I think it's fair to expect some fun along the way. Like a ride. That's what I always say.

It's like a free ride. Yeah. Whee! I'd jump out of a plane every day if I could, said Bex. Yep. Skydiver, we're hoping. Yeah, or just someone with wildly intrusive thoughts. Yep.

Of getting that door open. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um. Mel, no fair. I grew up on planes. My dad worked for airlines. My mum was Kiwi. Dad was British. So we were always on a plane between the two countries.

I was nine when I first rode a bus, though. Thought that was a pretty big deal. It was a double-decker. Oh. Oh, wow. That's exciting. Michael, no, but at least one moment each flight where I think about what would happen

if the plane just stopped working and fell straight down. You can't think like that. It's quite down. Yeah, you can't think like that. It's quite unlikely. Yeah, you can't think like that. It's not impossible, though. You've got more chance of... Just don't Google Brazilian ATR accident. Yeah, don't Google that.

Oh, my God, that plane crash was insane. Yeah. Aren't the stats always like you've got more chance of being kicked in the head by a cow? By a donkey. A donkey or something? Or like having an accident on New Zealand roads. Far more likely.

Oh, God, yeah, and I drive every single day. Yeah, exactly. Multiple times a day. Exactly. Next on the show, we just talked about the coffee habits of millennials. Let's talk about the bedroom habits of boomers. Because, wow, there's some surprising news

in the boomers department. You spicy little things. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hey, guys, this is a great study. This is a great study. Looking across the generations again, we're reflecting on different ages and the way they see the world. This time looking at relationship, would you call it structures?

Like monogamous or open or cheaty face. Yeah. So Gen Zers have the highest number of, or the highest level of wanting to have lovely monogamous relationships. Oh, they haven't been jaded yet by life. Yeah, and actually they haven't had a relationship long enough to be like, ew, I can't even get bored. That used to be cute, but now it's annoying.

Everything is annoying. So Gen Zers, they're looking for the classical monogamous relationships, whereas millennials and Gen X combined, so that's from about

28 to 59 years old. Yeah. Most preferred relationship for Gen X and millennials, ethical non-monogamy. Wow. So that's like you're open or you're arrangement

or you know, when you travel, you're're allowed but when we're at home you're not. The gays have got this sort of ethically sourced. Ethically, excuse me. Organic. Yeah, they've got to be again like spray free. Spray free. If you're going to cheat it's got to be free range.

Free range gays. So does that mean it's organised like you say to your partner. Non-cheating. It's non-cheating but you're open. We've got an arrangement. You have an arrangement. So the ethical side of it is that you've both agreed on whatever your non-monogamous structure is. Every gay is doing the ethical.

I don't know that all the gays are doing ethical. I don't know if all the gays are doing it ethically. I've seen some gays spraying glycosylate. Right, okay. This is a little bit different because people are saying, you know, they're looking that young adults seem like they're more open because they're way more liberal and they're, you know,

they're a lot more open-minded. Where it's actually this is showing that they are classically interested in that kind of classical relationship structure. Whereas as you say, more our age are like, oh yeah, if it's ethical, if you and your partner decide we've got less of a problem with it. And the younger people are just less likely to judge whatever anybody's doing, right? Like the older you get. So they might not be doing it yet, but they're not going to judge people who are. Whereas the older generations, if it's different to how I do it,

according to the good Biblia, then there will be judgment cast. Well, as you say, maybe it's a jaded yeah yeah then there will be judgment cast well as you say it's a maybe it's a jaded thing because then if you look at baby boomers so the that's before gen x yep they're looking for a friends with benefits no strings attached relationship structure rather than

having like a husband or someone who's around all the time all right so as you say it's like are they growing more jaded because they've spent longer with the same person and they're just like, get out from underneath my feet. I don't want to like have a husband. I just want to have a friend who comes over, ravishes me and leaves.

Wow. But that's interesting for baby boomers because I mean, not all marriages last, do they? No. So once you've had a big long shot at it, maybe you are just looking for something a little bit more simpler. That's really fascinating. I know.

Oh, okay. There's some other stats from it. When you say that they're open-minded, the Gen Zers, more than half, 55% of Gen Zers respondents to the study said that they have considered going to get into the world of the kink world, shall we say. Oh, right. A little bit more open-minded in the boudoir.

Right. Good for them. Good for them. Oh, heterosexual, homosexual rating scale. What? No, this was all heterosexual. There's a complete different study for the homosexuals. Right.

Because as you say, they've nailed it. They've been doing this for years. And they're nailing. Producer Shannon has sourced this new savoury food trend for us is it a food trend or is it a food hack I'm going to go with trend because I don't want to be beaten down this morning we'll lift you up

we won't beat you down hey you got a 3 out of 5 for your last hack I know I went home and I told my boyfriend he's like you didn't deserve it oh my god well that's on him that's on him always good to get support at home we love it and he's like, you didn't deserve it. Oh my God. Well, that's on him. Wow, that's on him. Not us. Always good to get support at home.

Okay, so we love it. We have been promised a cheese trend. Yes. So it is. Sorry, that was. Wait a minute. Before we get too deep into this, could this be an episode of Entree Paneer?

My new podcast. Paneer's not melty though. And I think this is a melty cheese. Our Entree Paneer, for those that have just joined the's not melty though. And I think this is a melty cheese. Entree paneer, for those that have just joined the show, is Vaughan's idea for a podcast where he talks about entrees. Because Georgia, from board George, has a entrepreneur podcast.

And it sparked an idea in Vaughan to have an entreepaneer podcast. Where it's just different entrees. Paneer-based entrees. Only paneer-based entrees? Well, it has to be, otherwise it can't be called entreepaneer podcast. It's just different entrees. Paneer-based entrees. Only paneer-based entrees? Well, it has to be, otherwise it can't be called entree paneer. You're limiting yourself there. You'll never get out of line. No, paneer is a very adaptable food.

But we've got a stringy, cheesy, melty cheesy. Look at this. It's a paneer and chicken kebab entree. Yeah, that's nice. You're delicious. Shannon's got a better one than that. Yeah. Thank you. We'll see.

Well. What does your boyfriend think? So you're going to build me up. Yeah. So, savoury s'mores. So you get two crackers and you get baby bell cheese. You know, the one with the red wax around it? The wax around it.

So you get that. You add, some people are adding like sweet chillies or things like that. Yeah, wow, wow, wow. Stack it up like a s'more. Stick a stick through the cheese. Heat it over a fire. How's the cracker staying on when you've got the stick through the cheese? No, you put the cracker on after you've toasted the cheese, don't you?

In this video, it just stays on. Right. Oh, because of the meltiness. I guess maybe they press it a bit when they... This sounds like a job for the air fryer, to be completely honest. Ooh, that's a great idea. No, the crates will go way too crisp. They'll bake too much.

You want to fire grill it. You wouldn't need to cook it for long. Could you do this over a barbecue, maybe? Yeah. So they're like a s'more. It's a stick over the fire, and the cheese melts into the cracker. Have you ever done a classic fondue,

a cheese fondue, not a choccy fondue? Because that's what it is, right? A cheese fondue, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. But they're all over TikTok, yeah. Yeah, my friends have a, like a 70s fondue pot,

you know, with the skewers and stuff. So how would that work? You would just melt your cheese in a big pot? Yeah, so you put in a mix and you want to put in a little bit of like cream cheese

to like liquid it a bit more, but a cream cheese and then maybe a gruyere or cheddar. And then a methylated spirits burner underneath. Burner underneath. And it would heat the cheese and melt it. And then you get like vegetables. Cheese coated in the gob. Delish.

My parents had one growing up. They got it as a wedding present. They'd just sit in the cupboard in the laundry and we'd always be like, can we get that out and do it? Mum's like, no, never once. We had to look at this fondue pot all the time. Too messy. My parents had one too and never used it.

Never used it. Never allowed to play with it. I like a choccy fondue too. We should just do fondue dinner. We should bring back the fondue. We should fondue cheese for the entree, fondue chocolate for the dessert, and the main is some kind of gravy.

Gravy in the middle. Chips and gravy. We've got chips, we've got chicken, we've got meat. Love it. We've got vegetables, cheese, gravy, chocolate. I found a BBC article called Savory S'mores, and it's got different recipes for margarita s'mores,

spicy salami s'mores. It just kind of reads like different flavoured little pizzas. Pickle? You put a little pickle in the middle? Pickle with the cheese? A melty ploughman s'mores. You know I love my ploughmans. You can make like a little Big Mac s'more. Like with a little big patty, some

cheese. Get the burger sauce. Gherkin? Yeah, get the burger sauce. Gherkin. Yeah, gherkin. That's more of a cheese. Because Big Macs have got lettuce and tomato on them. You don't want those on your small burger. No, Big Mac doesn't have tomato.

Does it? Nah. Nah. Oh my God, know your burgers. There's no tomato on a Big Mac. I've only ever had one Big Mac in my life. Do any McDonald's burgers? Yeah, because you're a Filet-O-Fish. I had nonnies for dinner last night. Filet-O-Fish, meh. I had nonnies for dinner because you're a Filet-O-Fish nit. I had nonnies for dinner last night.

Filet-O-Fish nit. I had nonnies for dinner last night and the Filet-O-Fish was... You're weird. It was so good. What McDonald's burgers have tomato on them?

Kiwi burger. Kiwi burger or the gourmet range? Yeah. By the way, it sounds like we're thumbing in a spawn here, but we're not.

But if you do want a delicious cup of barista-made coffee on the go, I would head to McCafe. I would say, thanks to McCafe, great things are brewing on the go. Yeah, great things are brewing on the go. Can you ask for tomato wine? Of course you can add tomato.

I add shredded lettuce to my filet-o-fish. Classically doesn't come with it. Comes with cheese, fish, tartare, steamed bun. And a steamed bun. And you get some lettuce on there. And I add a shredded lettuce. We need to get them on to the liquid cheese. We need to get them on to the fondue liquid cheese.

Nonny's fondue with nuggies. Nuggy fondue. Now we're talking. Nuggy fondue. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the Top Six. Hello there. The warmest and needed winter since records began in 1947. I don't like to hear it. Newark climate scientist, Gregor Makara. I think Gregor is such a great name. Gregor. Quite strong, isn't it?

Gregor. He said the city was one of 40 locations around the country which had record or near record high mean temperatures during winter. Mean. Some of the snow levels like, yeah, mum sent me a photo of Mount Taranaki. Yeah. When I was down south last week. It's crazy.

It's like summer snow coverage. Yeah. On some of the mountains. It's terrible. It's not good. It's not good. It's terrible. It's not good. It's terrible. Well, I got the top six signs that even without these official temperatures, I can tell you why it was the warmest Dunedin winter. Number six on the list.

Everyone was doing their paper run in record time, getting home, getting on the family computer. Doing a little bit of... This wouldn't be the first time a Dunedin joke's got you in trouble this year. About a paper run? What was the other one? Oh, no, that was the woman who suddenly ate them.

Yeah. It was the woman that suddenly ate them. Can't choose from two. We'll just let that go. We'll move forward from that. Number five on the list of the top six signs it was the warmest winter in Dunedin. People were the same temperature inside their house as outside their house. Yeah.

Usually it's colder inside the house, but just because the temperatures are a little bit warmer, it kind of balanced out somehow. Oh, God. I've just got an update from Mum with the latest photo of the mountain. Oh, yeah. How's Timonga? Look at that. They've had a little bit more.

A little dusting. That's a dusting, though. That's light, that stuff at the bottom. Yeah, that's very light. It's not going to last. That's light. Yeah, that's very light. It's not going to last. It's very light. Very light. Germans will be summiting that in their crocs this weekend

with that amount of snow on it. Yeah. God, it's always Germans. Number four on the list of the top six signs it was the warmest winter in Dunedin. Aucklanders who moved down there to study medicine were wearing their puffer jacket zips one quarter down. Yeah, yeah, quarter zip. Those zips one quarter down. Yeah,

quarter zip. Those are some warm Aucklanders. Yeah. They've got to get some air in there. Yep. Let the air in.

Yeah. Everyone that grew up down there was just in jandals and shorts still, but Aucklanders. Old mates. Quarter zip down.

Quarter zip. Number three on the list of the top six signs it was the warmest winter on Dunedin record. The news didn't get any new footage of people sliding

their cars sideways into ditches. I love that. I confirmed this. Yep. Oh. So my friend Grant was a cameraman down there. Yep. And he said, yeah, no, there was none of those snow days in town where you rush out with your, you sit at the bottom of a hill and you video the cars coming down and putting their brakes on and sliding

sideways into ditches. No new footage. So you'll notice that. Reuse it. If they ever do that story, you'll notice that. Reuse it. If they ever do that story, you'll notice the number plates are old. Number two on the list of the top six signs it was the warmest winter on record in Dunedin. The stadium regrets putting the roof on. It's too hot.

Waste of money. Yeah, right. Waste of money. It's like a bloody greenhouse in here. They'll be growing banana trees in there. Yeah, crank a window. Because it's like a big, huge greenhouse. And number one on the list of the top six signs was the warmest winter on record in Dunedin.

Less couches burnt for heat than ever before. Yeah, well, they need to. They've actually got an overpopulation of couches. Have to ship them out. They're going to have to have a cull. A cull of the couches. There'll be a lot more just left out after flats this year on the street. No need to burn it for the heat.

That's today's top six. There is a company in Thailand, they're a marketing agency that is introducing a new type of leave. Well, it's already worked. Why, because we're talking about them? Yeah. That's marketing, right? I know we're talking about them, not the products.

No, they're marketing themselves as a marketing agency. Yeah, they've done well. They can say to other clients, you want this sort of exposure? Look what we did for ourselves. Yeah. We talked about New Zealand. Yeah.

All around the world. On a great radio station. On a great radio station. Yeah. Wow. Incredible. Marketing works, guys. Marketing works and the power of radio combined.

Did you know there's an old Thai lady who works there that tells the young Thai ladies they're getting a bit fat? works, guys. Marketing works and the power of radio combined. Now, assume there's an old Thai lady who works there that tells the young Thai ladies they're getting a bit fat. Yeah, probably. Is that Sade's grandma again? She walks in and goes, oh, no, no, no, no. There is. It is Sade's mama, but there is also always an old Thai lady who's telling the young Thai ladies they're getting a bit fat.

Oh, 100%. Whenever I'm in Thailand, they're talking about me and I don't think they're being like, oh, what a beautiful, slim, white woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now imagine if you were their family and you could understand what they were saying. Oh, yeah.

It would be so much harsher. They're saying, God, such calloused toes. No wonder. She's carrying around all that weight. They do the arm thing. They go... My favourite is when you walk into a store in Thailand

and they just say, no, no, no, no, no. Like, there is nothing in here for you, my darling store in Thailand and they just say, no, no, no, no, no. Like, there is nothing in here for you, my darling. Anyway, so this marketing agency is successful at that. If you've worked there for six months, there's a new benefit that you can get. It's called Tinder Leave, which is

you can take time off to go on a date during the day, and the hope is that you would take advantage of this and start exploring your love life in order to boost your wellbeing and make you happier. So if you're a single employee and you're on the app, you also get a

subscription to Tinder Plus where you get more features. They sound like the grandma like, have you got a boyfriend yet? Yeah. Are you married yet? But they were complaining. You need this extra time off, Fatty. Yeah, come on, Fatty. No one's going to marry you at this rate looking that fat.

Get out of there. Take the afternoon off. So they were saying that some of the staff were complaining about how busy they are. And they're like too busy. No, I prefer the first pronunciation. To get down, get busy. They were way too busy to date. Yeah.

So then this company was like, well, how can we make this better so that they live more fulfilled and happy lives? And so you can apply for Tinder leave, go on a date. Yeah. So then this company was like, well, how can we make this better so that they live more fulfilled and happy lives? And so you can apply for Tinder leave, go on a date. So rather than like go on a lunch date on your lunch break, you can take the day. You can have the whole day.

You can have the whole day. So rather than waiting for after work, like you say, during lunch for a lunch date. Or if you're single, just pretend you're going on dates and get all the days off. That's what I was like.

Could you say, I'm going to take Tinder leave to have like a date day with your wife or your husband or Yeah, I was going to say what's in it for the boring old married people. You could just get an affair brewing. Get an affair going. It's alright.

Oh my man. My hero, my saviour. We just had a flying dusty butterfly. Even Matt set me off. Oh, man. We just had a... My hero, my saviour. We can't... We just had a flying, dusty... A flying... A dusty butterfly. Oh, my God, even Matt set me off. A dusty butterfly. We had...

Ooh! Ooh, we had an ugly butterfly. In here. Yeah. Anyway. That's a trigger word for Hayley. It is. The M-O-P-H word.

Anyway, I think this is great. Little tinder leave, go on a date during the day. Why not? Do you think Ross would let us do this? We literally worked for three hours. If you can... to leave, go on a date during the day? Why not? Do you think Ross would let us do this? We would literally work for three hours. If you can line up a Tinder date

between the hours of six and nine, I'll give you permission to leave. Imagine, hey, do you want to go on a date? Yeah, it'd be great. Breakfast? Yeah, great. 5am? No, thank you. I'm going to get one of my three hours off work, So I have to be wrapped by seven Let's go to the social media desk

Shannon who normally gives us Some very poor hacks She's all over the social media though She runs social media well The hacks TBC Not that great. Instagram have announced a major change to how users leave comments. You can now leave comments on people's stories on Instagram.

Yeah, this is exciting. So you've got the ability, you can turn this off if you don't want people commenting on your stories. Yeah, there's a few different options. You can turn it on for everyone. You can turn it on only for people you follow back, so kind of like confirmed friends. So people will be able to see that.

So it's different to commenting on a story just down the bottom sending a message. Oh, no, can people see the comments? Because I just commented on our Fletch one in the Hayley post saying Fletch is very handsome. So everyone's going to be able to see that. They all come from Fletch NZ. Yeah, I know.

Right. That's embarrassing. I'm going to go now and have a look. Yeah, so you bring up the story. Oh, yeah. And on the left-hand side, there's like a comment bubble. Yeah, I saw that. And you press that and then write a comment.

Now I have to say PJ from the Huts has the new millennial font. I don't have it. Yeah, do you know, so you... I had it for a bit. You, Gen Zers were owing the millennial font, which is like a kind of a... It was not for you. It's for us. A fat block letter.

And everybody has been using it on their stories for like two months. Yeah. I had it and it's been removed. No, I got it only last week. It's not fair. I don't have it. I have it on one of my accounts and not the other.

Yeah, I feel like it's slowly rolling out. Yeah, I don't know. Do you reckon someone at Instagram's just messing with the millennials and just turning it on forever? And I'm going to switch accounts. Which one's the millennial font? What's it called? It's a big blocky. It's a block font. You'll notice

because it's the only new... That one is called Classic. No, that's been there forever. It's the new one. Oh, God, what an idiot. You dumb idiot! Is it Bubble? No! Oh, God. What an idiot. You dumb idiot. Is it bubble? No. Oh, my God.

I've got it on my renovation account, but not my one. Yeah, it's mine. Tell me what it's called. You wouldn't recognise it because it's the first new font in years that Instagram has used, and everybody has used it so much. It's called Poster. Yeah, everybody's used it so much in the last two months. There's heaps of new fonts.

There's heaps of new fonts. There's heaps of new fonts. That you've ood it. Yeah, no, I'm not the biggest fan. Oh, okay. Well, you know. It's for millennials. Deco is cute. Yeah, you're right.

Hey, hey. So what is the coolest font to use, Gen Z? I use, let me just pull it up. Poster is, okay, I've just opened up. Poster is so embarrassing. Oh my God, shut up. I thought poster was cool. I like it. It's new, it's cool.

Our official one we go with is literature. Yeah, literature is your standard, which I think is good. Where's my all caps one gone? That's in all caps all the time. It should still be there. It's called directional. You can now comment on stories. Did we need this? Yeah, so to turn it on in case Right. Well, you can now comment on stories.

Did we need this? Yeah, so to turn it on, in case you want to, you need to go onto a story you've currently posted and you need to hit the three bubbles on the right-hand corner that says more, hit story settings, and then it goes down and says commenting and you choose who can see it. It's not automatically on.

But, yeah, be aware people can see these comments. It is not a DM. So I can imagine this is going bad. This is great. This is great. You're going to be able to see. This is going to embarrass a few people until they realise. So definitely be aware.

But I think it's fun. Turn it on. Have a go. I'm just more concerned that I can't get the new cool millennial font back on my socials. It's only on one of my other accounts. You're going to have to pre-make a story on your Reno account, save the story and then upload it on your account. No, Instagram's just keeping you cool, babe.

Don't worry about it. Yeah. Oh my God. I don't want to be cool. I don't want to be cool. It knows. I want the big millennial font. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. want to be cool. It knows. I want the big millennial font.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. It's the final ranking. Do do do do. We do this every Friday. We rank things. Normally food. Always food. Food heavy. Food or people really. Yeah.

Today. Hott hottest professions. Okay, question. Yes. Do athletes... Because we've ranked hottest... Because there are professional athletes, but I just say athletes on a whole. No, no, no. I just say athletes on a whole.

Oh, right. Okay. Obviously, they're sexy. That's cheating, though. Is that cheating? It's a profession. Can we remove them? Let's remove them.

It's a profession, though, isn't it? It's a profession, yeah. Professional athlete. And the professional ones, they've got all the time in the world to just look the sexiest they can. Oh, rugby quads. Lewis Burson set a rugby quads on you. Yeah, those professional dance players. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, the dance boys. Keeping it tight. I found an article, 92% of women would date a doctor, followed by lawyers, architects, and property consultants, 89%. But that just sounds like those women want a money man. A man that's got good monies. Athletes were considered the sexiest male profession, 78%, followed by firemen, 75%, and doctors, 69%. Nice!

While 67% of women consider male models sexy, only 56% would be willing to date one. Yeah. Male politicians were the lowest scorers on both dimensions, 70% of women consider male models sexy. Only 56% would be willing to date one. Yeah. Male politicians were the lowest scorers on both dimensions. Only 31% of women would date a politician, and a mere 14% found them sexy. I mean, David, see, we're... Uniforms.

Yeah. A woman likes a man in uniform. Doctors, firefighters, pilots all scoring high on both sex appeal and datability. 78% of women would date an accountant. Only 28% of them considered them sexy. So again, there's a guy that's going to be able to sort out my finances. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice guys finished last. Social workers, male nurses were close to the bottom of the sexiest ladder. Are you male nurses? I don't know, male nurse. Yeah, because the ones that are going to pick them up, pick them up, pick them up, cut my jeans off. Pick me up and put me in bed. Yeah, imagine when you're sick, they'll look after you.

Put me up, put me in bed, cut my jeans off. And then when you're elderly and dribbling, they'll look after you too. They're going to wipe my bum bum. What do men think? Men consider doctors and models to be the most dateable professions. Follow closely. There are nurses, air hostesses, dancers and musicians. 100% of men agree that models are sexy.

Yes! Men are so simple, eh? Men are just so simple. Musicians is a good one, though. That'll be up there for me. That's hot. No, always touring. Yeah, exactly.

They'd always be cheating on you. Yeah, exactly. Great. I'm going to go cops, number one. It's just a thing. It's because of the arms, isn't it? The arms. They make those shirts too tight.

And then they're like, pom, poppin'. I'm going Cops number one. I'll go Musicians number two. It's just a thing. What about Tradies? And I was going to go Tradies. But they have to be in their 30s. Why do they have to be in their 30s?

Because it's weeded out all the losers in the 20s. And they've got to be reliable. Reliability is sexy. Yeah, I'd go like because the tool belt and the little shorts and the big boots and stuff. Man, you're loving this, aren't you? I'm loving this. Okay, I'm going to go cops number one. I'm going to go musicians number two. Number three, I'll go, yeah, like a labourer.

Like a tradie. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Good stuff. Not a plumber though. Why, like a labourer. Like a tradie. Yeah, okay. Yeah. That's good stuff. Not a plumber, though. Why? Not a plumber. I just haven't met any hot plumbers.

Hot ones are always like Sparkies or Builders. Right, maybe you haven't met enough hot plumbers. Yeah, I know. You're open to it? Apologies to my plumber. I was going to say, you also recommended that plumber to me. He was attractive. It's just not my cup of tea.

Was he your cup of tea? That's why I recommended him. I'd be like, wrap your eyes around this fella. I don't find him sexy. Yeah, very sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very sexy.

I just want someone that's going to do the plumbing well. Yeah. Flux me pipes. But eye candy, well, they do it, it doesn't hurt. Yeah.

Where are you going? I'm just going to stick to this list that I read out here So you don't get in trouble Female doctors are hot Female doctors are hot Scrubs though, unflattering Some scrubs can be hot

Really? They've done the hard yards Okay Models is cheating Right? Models is cheating We can't say models and actors. Models is profession because that's cheating. No, but that's not cheating.

No, it's not cheating. I'd say models. Yeah, models. Models number one. Models number one. Athletes number two. Doctors number three. Fletch?

Yeah, I'll disagree with that. I have never seen you boys go so quiet. I thought about it and then when you were talking about it, I was like, oh, we can't get in on that level. Oh, yeah, true. They'll be like, ooh, pervs. We're allowed to do it. They'll be like, yes, girl, yes, queen.

This thirsty, empowered queen. Yeah, I'd do it, and everyone would be like, oh, gross. We've really highlighted a double standard here. My, how the tables have turned. It's hard being a man is what you're saying. And I couldn't agree more. No, no, I think you've twisted my words here. Remember the good old days where we could say ludicrous things about people.

Producer Shannon does want to put a vote in for magician. They're good with their hands. Yeah. I would give nearly anything to turn back times 15 seconds and not let you turn on your microphone. You know, we've chucked hypnotists on the list if they hypnotise me out of ever hearing that.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I had to do the old classic and take on an alias while making an order yesterday. Oh, because he's so famous. Oh no, it wasn't because of that. It was because no one can, not English speaking, English is a first language New Zealanders can ever get Vaughan right. So if you're ordering foreign food, you just never use Vaughan.

Oh, I've got a lot of friends that do this who are just like, I can't be bothered to say Jane. I thought you meant like celebrities when they check into hotels and they're like, hello, it's... Mr. Pineapple. It's, yeah, Robert Pineapple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's actually Tom Cruise.

It's actually Tom Cruise. Oh, my God, I can't believe you just revealed Tom Cruise's... God, no. I say it's Vaughn from the radio. Please upgrade me. Yeah, yeah. I'll say nice things about your hotel on the radio. Have you heard of the radio?

Right. But you use an alias because they struggle with Vaughan. No one ever gets Vaughan. You have been standing at takeaways and they've said- Vag hand. Vag hand. Vag on. Sometimes it's not even a V sound.

Yeah, Starbucks must hate you. Yesterday, I tried a new one. Rod. Rod. Why don't you just say that? Because usually I go Smith Usually I go Smith Rod

And I said Rod Do you know what You are a Rod You look like Rod Not yet But he will be You're not a Rod You will be

Fast turning into an old mate I'm not a Rod I reckon six more years And we've got a Rod on our heads I'm not a Rod Wait But I don't know why I use Rod Because it was short

I always go for short one syllable. But why not Tom? I usually go just Smith. Tom's easy. I've done John before. Okay. But yeah,

rod was a, and I was just like, I'm just gonna change it up every time now. Keeps you on your toes. Sam? Key is you've just gotta remember what name you've given them.

Just like three letter short words. Short, easy. Tom, Ben, Rod, Sam. Yeah. Like how's a coffee place going to get Rod wrong? They're just not. They weren't. This was just like a takeaway.

With a Kiwi accent, they'd do R-U-D. Rud. Rud. Rud. Or Rid. Rid. Coffee for Rid. Better getting close enough.

Better than Vaughan. And my daughter said, what are you doing? And I was like, when you've got names like ours, and my kids names aren't like full-blown weird ones that you're going to see on TV one day because they've been arrested for doing something. You're like, well, yeah, you

gave them that name. It makes sense. Indiana though, it's long. Lots of vowels. Lots of syllables. That'll get lost in translation and August will as well. So I said, sometimes you've just got to take on an alias. You've just got to remember the alias. Jess and Becky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Bex. Yeah, Bex and Jess. Simple. And they're not going to get it wrong. Yeah. And so I took on an alias and I was wondering if we could take some calls this morning of when you take on an alias.

Because I wonder if people do this when they're buying little online purchases or you know, I mean, most of them have discreet packaging. Yeah, but you might yeah. But then it goes out the window when you pay by credit card your credit card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you put in your name.

But then it takes a few days to arrive and then a discreet brown paper bag turns up and it's got a name on it that you don't recognise. Also, don't use an alias when getting postage because if you're not home and you have a card to call, you don't have ID to pick up that package. But I just go in and say, hey, I used an alias because... And they'll be like, oh, okay.

I don't know. Can they actually do that? So you wanted to avoid awkwardness with the courier driver yet you're going to walk into a delivery depot and be like, I'm here for my dildo. I'm here for the buzzies. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Well, let's take some calls. 0800 DALS at M. You can text through 9696. What do you use an alias for? Maybe it's because your name is a bit long. So difficult. Hard to pronounce.

Or maybe there's a reason why you want to keep some anonymity. Do you know what I mean? Some people might actually take on a proper alias. Well, some people, I feel sorry for people that don't have, like, typically English names in New Zealand. Or you share your name with a famous person and it's easier not to go, like, down that rabbit hole of, oh, you're called, you know. Your name's David Bain.

Let's get into it. Because Bain's not exactly an uncommon surname. David's a very, and you share it with one of the most well-known, well-respected, well-loved New Zealanders. 0800-DANCE-AT-M is the number you can text through. 9696. What's your alias and what do you use it for?

When and why are you using an alias? Maybe it's just because your name doesn't translate well when ordering food over the phone. Maybe it's you don't want your name screamed incorrectly across a cafe when your order's ready. Which is why you've gone with the alias Rod.

Rod. Just tried Rod. Just tried Rod. I won't do it again. I didn't get a great reception from you guys. That's not stucking. Try Brent next time it again. I'm going to get a great reception from you guys. That's not sticking. Try Brent next time. No, I'm not a Brent. I'm not a Brent.

No, I'm not. It's a terrible alias. He's not a Brent. I'm not a Brent. You're such a Brent today. No. But you also don't suit like a Sam. No, you're not Sam. Maybe a Tom?

No. Because I know you want a three letter. You could be a Todd. He could be a Todd. You could be a Todd. That's you're not Sam. Maybe a Tom? Nah. Because I know you want a three letter. You could be a Todd. He could be a Todd. You could be a Todd. That's an easy alias. Chip or Kip? Chip. I like Chip. Love that. I could be Chip. So why do you use an alias? Is it just because your name's too hard?

Yeah. Or what are you hiding? Maybe you're having an affair and you're booking a hotel room. Oh yeah. My name is McFlaran McMarlin Candlestand. Is it? Yeah. Which one was your first name? McFallon McMarlin.

McCandlestand. McCandlestand. Some messages in on this. My name is Jenny, which seems impossible for Americans to pronounce. Janie. Jan pronounce. Janie. Janie. Janie. So I'm Emma when I'm ordering coffee in the United States.

Oh, yeah, fair enough. Emma, that's nice. It's easy. My name is Corinda, but I always use Sarah when I order coffee. Easier to pronounce. Yeah, Corinda. That's a nice name. Yeah.

Oh, my name is Irish. You know the Irish. Yeah. A-O-I-F-E. A-O-I-F-E. A-O-L-E-F. A-O-L-E. Interesting. What is it?

A-O-I-F-E. Eve. That would be like Eve or something, eh? I-F-I-F. Hang on, messaging Irish friend. How do you say that name? You could probably just Google how do you pronounce. I just wanted an excuse to message messaging Irish friend How do you say that name? You could probably just Google how do you pronounce I just wanted an excuse to message my Irish friend

Oh, that Irish friend Jesus Christ It's nice to sort of have a reason to connect So I just go with Eva whenever I'm ordering It's easy John, is that your actual name or your alter ego? I can't tell you that Oh

Okay, he's a spy. He must be a spy. Why are you using an alias? Well, I'm just inherently suspicious about websites that need all my details. Oh, okay. So, like, my bank can have them, but if it's just some, you know, music

streaming or, you know, other video website, then I just always make up this alter ego. Oh, my God. Like an online persona. That's right. It's completely made up. Okay.

And he has all of his secrets because you need all those, you know, the secrets that you put in so that they know who you are. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have childhood pets and stuff. He's got a whole life. So is John your real name? Let me just check.

My first album I listened to was called Wonk Time. Wonk Time. What have you guys all written in here? You guys have... It's because I'm book. Wait, what was yours? Do you have a fake mother's maiden name? Oh, I haven't put that in.

Or like this first street that you grew up on. But I would never remember this, John. That's too much. I've just got to check. Yeah, but then someone's... Wonk time. It has to all go in my phone. But the thing is that some of them are quite...

My first school is Moonbase Alpha. Moonbase Alpha. Oh, my God. You're a madman. It sounds like a David Bowie alias here. Yeah. I love this. Wait, so John's not your real name.

John is the alias. We won't confirm or deny. I can't remember. Oh! Oh, I love it. So suspicious, John. So suspicious. John, thank you.

Kirsty, are you using an alias? Yeah, I roll my R's when I say my name. When I say it, I say Kirsty. Oh, you're from the South. So anytime I ring, like, an Indian place and I've tried to say my name, they're like, we have no idea what you're trying to say. Just out of interest, what are you ordering? I'm really boring.

My partner gets annoyed at me. I'm the butter chicken girl, and he always tries everything different. You roll gets annoyed at me. I'm the butter chicken girl and he always tries everything different. You roll your R's. Of course it was butter chicken. You don't even know. I'm team butter chicken. I'm team butter chicken. Have you tried the nuggets

with butter chicken sauce yet, Kirsty? Oh, no. Butter chicken nuggets. We talked about it last week or this week? Yeah, because you did it last weekend, didn't you? Yeah, and I've had a few people send me photos of their butter chicken nuggets saying thank you for opening my eyes. It was an amazing culinary invention.

So, Kirsty, what alias do you use when you don't say Kirsty? I just say Kate. You can't get Kate right. Kate. Kate. Yeah, that's good. Kate. You're safe.

No. No. No. Kirsty. Kreet. Kreet. get Kate right. Kate. Kate. Noah. Noah. No. Noah. Kirstie. Kreet. Kreet. Put an R in there. Kirstie, thank you. Some more messages in.

My name is Alicia, but it's spelled A-L-E-Z-H-I-A. Oh, jeez. Alicia. I use another name anytime I'm buying food or where my name is going to be yelled out to avoid the how do you spell that where's that from

how do I say that why is it different guys so just use an alias started using my stepson's name because he still can't figure out how all these people know his name

and it's just fine to watch him be messed with and we get our order on time someone has on their new world card yep Hugh Janus.

Because you don't have to put your real name. The crying shame there is no one's yelling it out. How are you linking that to your ear points, though? I don't know. Dr. Hugh Janus. That's Dr. Priority seating, please. We're talking about when you use an alias.

Maybe your name's hard to pronounce. Maybe you can't be bothered explaining it. Like River, for example. Oh, please. We're talking about when you use an alias. Maybe your name's hard to pronounce. Maybe you can't be bothered explaining it. Like River, for example, always uses an alias because they don't want to field all the questions if they're named after River Phoenix or if their parents were hippies. Yeah, true. Yeah, so I'll just make up whatever name comes to mind at the time to use that. If you just say Tom or Sam, you're not going to get a question. No.

And it's going to be easy to write that down. How do you spell that? Tom. I reckon just have a whack and I reckon you'll get it right. I don't think a Tom has ever been asked how to spell Tom. K-T-O-M. So I'm okay. Like nice. That's what I'd say. So I'm okay to spell Tom.

P-T-O-M. Sign of P. Like Tom. Tom. or P-T-O-M sign of P like P-T-O-M like P-O-M P-O-M Yum. We have heard from our bisexual barista who apparently they've labelled themselves

our bisexual barista. Oh fantastic. Yeah. I don't know if that means they work their hair off. Do they have a preference today? Not yet mate. It's not even 8 o'clock.

Yeah that's how it works. You wake up and you go women. You toss a coin. Oh, man, not men again. Oh, man, I was in the mood for a bit of boys. Yeah. They said, please don't lie and give us aliases

because sometimes if you're really hot, we want to try to, like, work out who you are afterwards. Oh, yes. Okay. So you might be, like, a hottie with a chance with the bisexual barista. Yeah, and then someone goes, rod. Rod. Okay. So you might be like a hottie with a chance with the bisexual barista. Yeah, and then someone goes, Rod. Rod. Rod.

You could actually be putting, yeah, put them right off. It's okay that they're being put right off. To be fair, I actually do have a friend, I realise, because someone texts and say, my name is Tom, and I actually have had a Tom spout, T-H-O-M, and I have a Tom friend who is T-H-O-M. No, that's Thom, though, isn't it? No.

He's T-H-O-M. No, that's Thom though, isn't it? He's T-H-O-M. Right. Tom. Put a B on the end. Why not? Like Thumb. Or Dumb. No one says that.

If my name was Tom, it would be T-H-O-M-B. Someone messaged in, every week the TV Guide gets delivered to Mrs. Chinan Labong. It's the only reason I subscribe. That's good. Jesus. Yeah, because I'm like Flybys and TV Guide

You can just put any name It doesn't matter Yeah My husband's name is Vaughn Just checking That's not Shoddy It's my number Shoddy

He spells it out Very quickly over the telephone For takeaway orders Then has fun seeing If they wrote it down Or how they wrote it down Right Name please

Vaughn V-A-U-G-H-N Yep Yeah Smith S-M-I-T-H-A-N. Yep. Yeah. Smith, S-M-I-T-H. Or I say Smith Standard Way. So that's, you let them know.

My mum's name is Ginny, short for Virginia. She won, someone pronounced it as Guinea, as in Papua New Guinea. And Ginny. And Ginny, yeah. Yeah, she's had Ginny. Yeah. How good. Oh, someone suggested, Vaughan, for you next and, and shiny. And shiny, yeah. Yeah, she's had shiny. Yeah. How good.

How good. Oh, someone suggested Vaughan for you next time, use Gary. I'm not a Gary. I, you know that Irish name we were spelling before? Aoife. It's like Eva,

but with an F in it. Aoife. Aoife. Okay. Aoife. Don't you Aoife talk to me like that. Yeah. I just feel geographically, we're putting a bit too much Pacific Island

Into our EFA EFA Not the Irish EFA But lighter on the EFA Some other Aliases I text into your radio station and I use an alias On the first time

And I said my name was Katie. So now when I get a reply text from you guys, it's always like, thanks, Katie. I'm like, who's Katie? Who the hell is that? Who's Katie? Well, what's your actual name? Tammy. But it's about T-A-M-I-E.

So people say Tay-me. Tay-me. Like Jamie. Oh, yeah. You can see why they do. So I just use Katie. Your parents thought they were being all cute, didn't they? Yeah.

They're like, oh, we don't want a normal Tammy. Oh, God, no. And then they're just giving you a lifetime of hassle. Oh, it's even like with my name. Chucked wise willy-nilly, my parents. Two in the front. One in the Jane. One in the middle in the Jane.

It's bizarre. Two in the Hayley, one in the Jane. That's the old saying. That's how it goes. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Okay, Crazy Frog, perfect intro to my new purchase that I want to show you in the flesh. Now, this new purchase, in the middle of all the renovations

that are still ongoing, I thought there was like... A spending freeze. A spending freeze. You thought wrong, little bee. Let me say the scene. Yesterday when we left, I said, I'm going to stop at the dump shop on the way home and get me a treatie.

Felt like a little treat. Yeah. The dump shop's where I go for a treat because it's a cheap treat. And I thought, oh, and I had a facial yesterday. And I. It's called Botox. Just a facial. I got a facial too.

They rubbed it so tight. They rubbed it so tight. It really hurt. They rubbed my wrinkles away. They rubbed my wrinkles away. Right. So I got some facial too. They rubbed it so tight. They rubbed it so tight and it really hurt. They rubbed my wrinkles away. They rubbed my wrinkles. Right. So I got some Botox yesterday. And I was 20 minutes early for my appointment.

And we knew message being like, I'm going to go to the dump shop. I was like, I want a treaty. If Vaughn gets a treaty, I get a little treaty. I didn't even get a treaty. Yeah. There was no treaties. So near the Casey Clinic where I go, there was my favorite antique store in Auckland.

Okay. Shout out to Country Antiques on Manukau Road. Beautiful shop. And I went in there just to pop, because I have an idea. I want to find a vintage tin, you know we like our old stuff, for our dryer floof.

Because I empty the dryer floof. What are you drying the dryer in? Wait, sorry, what? You want a tin to put your dryer fluff in? Well, I've got a, can't really have a jar with laundry powder in it, but I don't use laundry powder. So it's just sitting there.

A jar. And it's new. And so I was like, I want to put a vintage tin in there in the new laundry so that I can put my dryer fluff and put it in there. Just put it straight in the bin. No, but I empty it and then I always put it to the side.

Then I do my thing and then I pick it up and walk to the kitchen. I want a dryer fluff tin. Let her have a dryer to the kitchen. I want to dry a floof tin. Let her have a dry floof tin. And I want to get it from an antique store. Because you know I got sent that lint bag and now I'm collecting lint. Yeah. I got sent that lint bag.

You see it on the thing and you're constantly like, I've got to check the lint. And you empty it and you keep the lint. You can make fire lighters, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, I'll empty my floof tin and I'll bring it to work for you. There's a 99% chance that it's all just going to end up in the bin. But for a little while it feels like I'm gamifying laundry and I get to clean the lint.

It's ridiculous. So I went into this antique store and I was looking around and I spotted something that I've actually seen for, I reckon, three years. And it's this taxidermy toad with a backpack, a hat, and a walking stick. Of course it is. Like Mr. Toad of Wind in the Wooloos.

Indeed. And we have asked for years, like, oh, he's not for sale, is he? And the guy who owns the shop was always like, no, he's not for sale. He's too special. Yesterday, on a whim, just because Vaughan said, I want a tree, and I decided I wanted a tree, I went in there and I said, that bloody toad, I said, I wish it was for sale. And he said, today it is.

And I went, what? How much? He named his price. It's so cheap. I said, yeah, it's mine. I was like, oh, my God, today it is. And I went, what? How much? He named his price. It's so cheap. I said, yeah, it's mine. I was like, oh my God, it's mine. He said, wow, that's crazy. He said, I've just decided right in the second.

Yeah, I'm going to sell him. He said, I don't know why I've held onto him for so long. And I told him, I was like, oh, we love all these obscure things. He's going to a great house. We're going to love him. And I surprised Darren by bringing him home and I said, guess what I have?

I'll quiet a little treat when you get home. So I've brought him in and're going to love him. And I surprised Darren by bringing him home and I said, guess what I have? A quiet, a little treat when you get home. So I've brought him in and we need to name him. I don't want to call him Mr. Toad. I've seen your Instagram story of this thing. I haven't seen him in person though. But seeing this in... Oh my God, that is

yuck. Yuck. It gave me a little bit of a shiver. Ooh, look at his manky fingers. He's holding his walking stick. I don't like it. Wait, and there's another toad. There's a little toad looking up at him. Where's his penis? He doesn't have one.

What do they do down there? I think they've sort of filled up the cloaca situation. I think they've kind of Sally's No More Gaps the mound there. Isn't he amazing? Wait, so where's that from? We don't have toads like that here. America, maybe? You can't just bring in a toad.

Yeah, so I've got a taxidermy toad and a smaller little toad underneath him and he's got a little Australian... He looks like a nightmare to dust. Yeah, he's quite dusty. I've got to give him a clean. It's like a little Australian cork hat. A little cork hat on.

He's got a backpack all rolled up with his tent and a walking stick. And he needs a name. Mr. Toad. I've put him up on my socials. And maybe we'll put them up on the FVH socials. And we can get a name going for him. Because we name all our taxidermy. Like Rachel McDuck and all that.

Yeah. What's the fox called? He hasn't had a name yet. Okay. Yeah, I know. Everyone was like, It's so predictable What about this Mr Toad?

What do you first think When you think about him? When you see him? I think Yuck Where are you gonna Is he Rod? Rod

It could be Rod It could be Rod Could be a Rod Rod the Toad Or Road Yeah Road the Toad Yeah

Maybe can we If we get a photo of him Can we put it up On our socials with a box? Take some suggestions. And we'll take some suggestions. That is, ooh, and look at, no, I'm sorry, that's yuck. The little toad looking up at him, is that a toad or a frog? Well, they've got the same coloured skin,

so maybe he's a frog, maybe he's a toad, just a baby one, a little one. Yuck. But do you know what I mean? In our house, it's really going to make a lot of sense, which says a lot about my house, to be fair. He's very odd. You're going to have one of those houses in a few years,

like people will knock on the door selling like chocolate bars for their school fundraiser, and you'll open the door, and the kids will just look in, and before they even get a chance to say, do you want to buy some chocolate bars, they're going to be like, ah! Yeah, good, Get off my property. And you're like, nieces and nephews all have nightmares about stuff that's at Auntie Hayley and Uncle Aaron's house. Well, they're not allowed inside.

Right. Kids are like outdoor dogs at our house. Right. We'll build them a little shed where they can keep warm. They can stay there. Yeah. Todrick, someone's messaged in. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

Morris Merrington. I quite like Morris Merrington. Frederick the Frog. He's a toad, though, isn't he? Does he need a title? Does he look like a title frog? Or like a major? He's an explorer.

He's a wanderer. He's rogue. I don't think he'd have a title. Captain. He might be a captain. Yeah, could be. He could be a captain. Captain Morris Merrington. I think you should just put it back in the box. No. I don't think he'd have a title. Captain. He might be a captain. Yeah, could be. He could be a captain. Captain Morris Merrington.

I think you should just put it back in the box. Of the amphibian brigade. No. I think you should put it back in the box. He's going to stay here for the rest of the show. I don't know. I thought I was going to like it. I don't like it.

You don't like him. Look at his back. He's pretty good. I think it's because he's chest out but his neck's back. Well, because he's a toad. But he's upright. He's standing, yeah. I would have bent him just a little bit. Oh, someone suggested Jeremiah. That's a great one. Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a tax bat. Well, because he's a toad. But he's upright. He's standing, yeah. I would have bent him just a little bit.

Oh, someone suggested Jeremiah. That's a great one. Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a bullfrog. Yeah. Well, he might be a bullfrog. Okay, well, we'll put a photo up on... How old is he?

Like, do we have a sort of a... No, the guy doesn't know. Very old. I just don't think you should be allowed that in this country. I wouldn't have thought you could get it in lately. How did that come into the country? That must have been here for a long time. Yeah, I think it's been smuggled.

I'll say smuggled. I mean, I've got more problematic taxidermy than this guy., I think it's been smuggled. I'll say smuggled. I mean, I've got more problematic taxidermy than this guy. So I think he's been smuggled. Yeah, your polar bear especially. Yeah, the Arctic foxes and go, yeah, the full-size polar bear. But we paid a lot of money to get that killed and stuffed. God, okay, let's leave that there.

Look, he's welcome in the studio. Those aren't his, those googly eyes, taxidermied eyes. Nah, they put fake eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not googly eyes Nah they put fake eyes Yeah yeah They're not googly eyes Like the stick on ones You get from the warehouse Yesterday when you said The photo was just

The top of his head Poking out the box It looked like googly eyes Googly eyes that rattle around Yeah Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Pet owners

All of us That's us Bebe And I've got a new pet Mr Frog Oh The toad. Please can you put it back in its box?

Reginald. Very distinguished. That's not bad. That's not bad. Very distinguished. Reginald Warwick III. Well, you shan't be expecting it to make you happier.

Oh. Yeah, so there's been a study done and apparently owning a pet won't make you happier. But I thought that was the whole idea of owning a pet won't make you happier. But I thought that was the whole idea of getting a pet. Or is it all the people?

I think pets aren't going to cure like depression or like a big problem. No, they're not fear of it. If you're having a bad day and you get home, your pet might make you feel better. Or worse if they've killed a rat and dragged it through your house or dug a massive hole or shit on the deck. Spewed on your carpet. Yeah, that can all make it significantly worse. But like depression, anxiety and a term I've never heard before, anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure.

Oh, okay. Oh my God, my whole life is pleasure based. It won't cure that. Now during the main years of the COVID pandemic, 2020, 2021, pet prices and pet demand went through the roof. Pets, right. I remember all the dog breeds and stuff were crazy expensive. Through the roof.

Yeah. Because people were stuck at home. People that were by themselves wanted to be kept company. They couldn't socialise like they might have, so they got pets and everything. That's kind of why I got a pet again, like a cat again. Because you're so lonely sitting at home. I was so lonely.

I just sat there doing nothing. You just sat there like slumped like this. Yeah. Man. Like if only I had a cat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it said that the people that sought out better mental health outcomes

by owning pets didn't get it. Yeah, right. So it's not going to heal major sort of mental health. I thought they said it was good, like, especially older people, like, to have a cat. Loneliness, they know, but they forget to feed it. Yeah, true. And you're like, Nanny, where's the cat?

What cat? Oh, Nanny. Nanny, you've got a cat, remember? No. Living alone, both dog and cat ownership were associated with slightly lower levels of loneliness, so that got a little bit better, but the effect was small. Right.

My cat is, but my cat's a special boy. Because they run away when you need them the most. No, but I feel when, I've always said this, when Aaron is away from the house or away or out or whatever, I feel safer when Rolly's like in bed with me. Well, what's he going to do? Nothing. Literally run and ditch me. He literally will not do a single thing.

If there was a home invasion, he'd be gone. He'd probably even trip you over so that they caught you first. So I was lying flat, yeah, and then the guy's just robbing my house or something. Yeah, and the cat makes a run for it. Yeah. No, but my cat makes me very happy. He jumped in my suitcase this morning.

He's a sweetie boy. He's a little sweetie boy. Well, you come to Melbourne? See, that made you happier. You don't have a passport, will we? You can't come to Melbourne with me. Is that your cat voice? No, what is my cat voice?

I can't do it without seeing him. Doing the crazy cat lady voice, the cat's meow, and you've got a taxidermied frog in front of you. And I'm wearing a lame as a rabe T-shirt. I am sexy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day

day day day day Today's fact of the day is that the Paralympics, it's a Paralympics themed fact of the day week. The Paralympics medals are a little bit different to the Olympics medals. Are they? Yes. How? Well, I'll go back to 2012.

Okay. And I'll work my way up to current day. In fact, I'm going to go 2012, 2020, 2024, and back to 2016 because I think 2016 is the best. Okay. And I'll work my way up to current day. In fact, I'm going to go 2012, 2020, 2024, and back to 2016 because I think 2016 is the best. Okay. Different medal. It's a wayward trial. I'll say it's all over the show.

London. I'm going to call it a shit storm. Sure. Okay, you can call it that. London's Paralympics medals were more or less the same, except it had Braille writing on it. Oh, yeah. It's the reverse featured.

The rim around it read London 2012 Paralympic Games, and then that was written in English, and then the dots afterwards that make up Braille. It said Heart of Victory, and that was the difference. It had Braille on it. The standard Olympic medals didn't have Braille on it. Can I ask a stupid question? Is Braille one language?

No, there's Spanish Braille, German Braille. Okay, okay, okay. No! No, that's what I was like, is there English Braille? No, there's just one Braille. Braille. Braille was developed by and named after Louis Braille. Yes. Braille is not a universal language after Louis Braille. Yes.

Braille is not a universal language, as some people assume, although many languages do use the same alphabet. There are many standard systems for Braille. Like sign language. For different languages and different purposes, such as encoding musical math. There's American sign language, New Zealand sign language. So there is different Brailles.

Interesting. So 2012 they had Braille. Apology accepted, Fletch. I didn't apologise. Well, it's accepted anyway. I'm So 2012 they had Braille. Apology accepted, Fletch. I didn't apologise. Well, it's accepted anyway. I'm not letting you take my apology. I have received it. But he wasn't wrong. He was because you said no.

It's not in all different languages. And it is. I thought he said it is in all different languages. No. What did you say? I said there's a Spanish Braille, there's German Braille. No, and then he laughed because he was making a joke. And I accept his apology, so it's fine.

We can move on. Okay, I'm confused. So 2020 in Tokyo, they again had Braille on them, the Paralympics medals. And on the side, the gold medal had one indentation, the silver medal had two indentations, and the bronze medal had three indentations. Oh, okay.

So that was pretty cool. What did that signify? No, I'm kidding. I got it. I got it on the first go. I'm not as dumb as Fletch who thought that braille was just a global language.

He was a bit dumb, eh? Now, the Paralympic medals this year for 2024, much like the Olympics medals, contained an original piece of iron from the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. And had a graphic representation of the Eiffel Tower viewed from below.

It's my favourite view of the Eiffel Tower. Get up underneath. It looks bigger. An upskirt of the Eiffel Tower. You pervert. You're such a pest. It looks bigger from a lower angle. This is why Vaughan has a restraining order of 100 metres around the Eiffel Tower.

Around the Eiffel Tower. Because he's upskirting. Any big buildings. Yeah. Sky Tower. Around the Eiffel Tower. Because he's upskirting. Any big buildings. Yeah. Sky Tower. With a large base. You know, I walk under the Sky Tower, I'm always like,

oh, I love it. Poof. Wow. So there is Braille on this one and different engravings on the different medals to indicate what they are. And that honours, by the way, Louis Braille, who was the inventor of Braille,

who was French. Many different versions too of Braille. Yeah. Bonjourno. Yeah, I know. I think the coolest Paralympic medals were those of the 2016 Olympics. Braille who was French. Many different versions too of Braille. Yeah, bonjourno. Yeah, I know. I think the coolest Paralympic medals were those of the 2016 Olympics. Rio de Janeiro.

Rio de Janeiro. My favourite Olympics. My favourite form of Braille is Braille. It was your favourite Olympics? Actually, it probably was. I loved Rio. I've loved this year though. This year's been really good.

Yeah. But Rio de Janeiro had Braille, but each medal also rattled. The rattle of the gold medal sounded different to the rattle of the silver medal, which sounded different to the rattle of the bronze medal. What's inside it? Different things. Rice. Rice.

Or whatever they put in maracas. See, I found a video here. Dried fava beans. Of a... I don't know, I'm just going to... Yeah, no, nothing else is playing. So you might want to turn that on or something. Yeah, you just tapped it on and off. You just tapped it on and off.

No checking. Come with your own sound. A small... You've got an ad. Do you not have YouTube Premium? No, it's not an ad. It's a news story. Oh my God.

Paper Premium. Oh my God. It's a news story. Shush. So come Paper premium. Oh, my God. It's a news story. Shush. So come with their own sound. Gold medal. A small rattle inside gives off a metallic sound when they're shaken. Silver medal.

Visually impaired athletes tell the difference between each award. Bronze medal. The gold medal. It shouldn't rattle the bronze. Sounds like a tambourine. Oh, that's another ad. It's not an ad. It's a news story.

It's a news story It's a news story Where they shook the Ones But that's the coolest Because it had braille on it Yeah And it had a rattle So you could shake it

And hear the difference Yeah Between what medal You were holding So if you went to And you did You did multiple You

You had multiple medals Yeah You got a silver and a gold And you had them all on You could be like Oh Which one's my which Which one's the bronze

Which one's the silver? You could do it by shaking it if you didn't speak German Braille, for example. Is this the end of Paralympics week?

It is the end of Paralympics week. I've enjoyed it thoroughly after the day. Certainly made up for calendar week. Oh, calendar week was

a cult classic. It wasn't a huge performer at the box office, but it's really since it was released on DVD and Blu-ray. I don't know if it has. Had a huge cult following.

No one enjoyed it. Calendar week. So today's fact of the day is the Paralympic medals are just a little bit different. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I personally have never left a date mid-date. I haven't been on that many dates, though, to be fair. Sort of shacked up quite young.

I mean, it would take a lot to leave a date, right? Mid-date. Yeah, I would see it through to the end most of the time and then be like, ciao at the end of the night. And then you never see them again. No, yeah, we're not carrying this on. Goodbye. Yeah. Well, there is a woman, she's 25 years old, she snuck away from her dinner date after just, I said 10,

five minutes. Five minutes in because her date at the table took out his retainer. Good sound effects. Because I had Invisalign and you've got these little clips and you really

have to pull it out and all the saliva's like But that is something that you would excuse yourself to the bathroom. In fact, if this was a first date, which it was, I probably wouldn't even wear it. You're allowed to take it off for a couple of hours. Yeah. For God's sake.

But yeah, she said it was an unforgivable act. Took out his retainers and then set them on the side of the table. Had a string of saliva hanging from his mouth, enough to make her gag. So she left. She said no warning or anything. So she said, I said I was going to the bathroom. I just went out the front door and got an Uber.

Was this in America? Because I feel like New Zealanders are too... Los Angeles, yeah. Yeah, I feel like New Zealanders are too polite. If somebody did that, you'd be like, gross. You'd finish dinner and then you'd never talk to them again. For perspective, and I'm just going to flash this at anyone in the room's eyes. Or choose one.

This is the woman who was on the date. She is an extremely beautiful, stunning babe. So he's really stuffed up here with his retainer boobs. Has he ever? He's self-sabotaged. He's self-sabotaged. That body is insane. I'll say it myself.

Like that's an LA-10. That is an LA-10, a New Zealand 30. Yeah. Anyway, she was just like, ooh, ooh, ooh, this is disgusting. And apparently people... I'm actually not willing to give her an LA-10 just yet. Further investigation will be required.

Would you be able to send me that article? I'll just pop the thing. And maybe the Instagram handle. I'm just popping this in the group chat. I'm just popping it in. I feel we're all... You just say 10. So we can refer to the story and paint the picture. Yeah, absolutely. Anyway, look, I need to know, because I've never're all, we're quick to say 10. So we can refer to the story and paint the picture.

Yeah, absolutely. Anyway, look, I need to know, because I've never done this, and I don't think you guys have. Have you ever left a date and why is the question I want to ask. Okay, so mid-date? Mid-date. Or like called off a date super quick? Like within 10 to 5, 15, half an hour?

Yeah, you don't have to have snuck away, but maybe you went on this date and however. Maybe you thought it'd be a whole evening thing. In the middle of it, they did something that just put you off, so you called it quits early. Because a lot of people have like a little SOS with friends, right? Like, hey, if this date goes wrong, call me. Yeah, I had one planned for Aaron. Yeah, my first date with Aaron.

Yeah, I'll give you a message. You call, say someone's dead, and then we're out of here. I gotta go. And then you send the little call, say someone's dead, and then we're out of here. I've got to go. And then you send the little cue, you get your message, and you go. Maybe you did that, or maybe you just straight up did what she did and said I need a pee, walked out the front door and got an Uber. And just left. And then text him and said, I'm not interested.

0800-DARLS-AT-HEM is the number. We want you to give us a call now. Text through 9696. When and why did you leave a date in the middle of it? And we want to know why you left a date early. Some great messages coming in. The messages are amazing. Emily, this was your bestie that left a date early?

My best friend did. So he went on a date with a girl and they were meeting up at his house. At her house, sorry. So he shows up, walks in the door. She looks absolutely nothing like her picture like none at all wow okay so he's diabetic at the time he was still injecting insulin um so he goes oh he and he looks at his phone he goes oh my insulin's like i've got to go out and get it from my car he went out to his car went into his car and drove away.

Oh my god. A diabetis. A diabetis. That's good. The diabetes was acting up. And so he just left and he never saw her again. He just left. He sent me a picture

and I was like, so what? Sent me the thing and I was like, so what did she look like? He was like, not like that. And I was like, so what, like, sent me the thing. And I was like, so what did she look like? He was like, like, not like that. And I was like, oh, okay. Give us a number. A four. We got a four. We were sold an eight and we got a four.

Yeah, I was like, I think you should stop meeting up with girls at their houses. Did that stop them? Absolutely not. Yeah, like, at least if you meet somewhere public and get a coffee and they turn up, you can be like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm out of here. Or you can be like, oh, okay, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm out of here. Or you can be like, oh, I can't see them. And then you see someone that you're like, oh, okay, that's them.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. Nah, I'm going to go and walk away. Yeah. Emily, thank you. Erin, why did you leave a date early? Because when I turned up to actually make the guy for his date, he looked, he dressed and looked like Steve Irwin.

He looked nothing like the pictures on Tinder. What? By the way, I would, I would. By the way, 18 years, was it yesterday? Yeah, yeah, this week, 18 years since we lost Steve. Since he died. R.I.P. And he was a hottie, man.

He was physically fit. Or was it the outfit as well? Oh, no, it was the whole package. It was short, skumpy, dress just like Steve Irwin. I was done. I was done. And when I SOS'd my mate, I was like, you're going to have to, like, get me out of here.

And she rang and pretended she was crying. It was hilarious. Oh, and you're like, oh, so sorry. My best friend's distraught. I've got to go, Stevie. Stevie, I'm sorry. Oh, Steve. Oh, Erin.

But did he not look like the photos? No, not at all. So I tuned up and I was like, oh, this is really weird. And he was like, oh, no, that was when, like, I was really young. And I was like, oh, man. Oh, man. Maybe update your photos here, Steve. Erina, thank you.

Some messages in. My brother, who goes on online dates all the time, left a date early because the girl said she was just freshly out of jail and he thought she was joking and then soon after told him she'd been in there for murder. Shut up. So he excused himself from it. No.

I mean, you go on enough online dates, you're bound to date a murderer. Oh my. Like statistically speaking. I don't know. Statistically. Keep your texts coming in 9696. You get to more of those next year. You can call as well. 0800 dials it in. When did you leave mid-date

and why? Leaving dates early. So many great messages. I know. Some of these are horrendous. Whenever we talk to people about going on dates, it does remind you how lucky I am not to be dating. Stay in your relationship.

It's way easier. I left a date halfway through after I realised why this guy looked so familiar. I'd seen him on the news as the crazy right-wing lobbyist who was in court with Colin Craig. He kept laughing and calling me a sexy little socialist whenever I expressed a view that was even remotely human. Oh, my God, that's so belittling.

Oh, you're a sexy little socialist, aren't you? That's awful. I got picked up for a date. It was off Tinder. He didn't come to my door. Beeped from the car. Beeped from the car like an Uber. Took me through the drive-thru. We never got

out of the car. He said, let's eat in the car. Parked in a car park. I happened to turn behind me and there was a wheelchair in the back. And I was like, whose wheelchair is this? And he's like, it's mine. We've been speaking for months prior to this. And he hadn't said it. And he never mentioned it. And I was like, it's not that big a deal. But it's like, it's mine. We've been speaking for months prior to this. And he hadn't said it.

And he never mentioned it. And I was like, it's not that big a deal. But it's like, why didn't you tell me? Just say, yeah. You could tell me. I was going to find out at some stage. It's an interesting thing to omit, I guess. Yeah. I met this guy at a rugby match, very tall and handsome. He asked me out and I was

chuffed. But when he took me to the pub and saw an old building and started talking about the architectural features of the place, after an hour of this not even wine helped, I went to the toilet so I didn't come back. What have you got a boring Norman on your hands? Yeah, but he could be a rich architect.

Was he a rich architect? Yeah, that's nice for the chat though. You want that? I left a date after a guy kept scratching his crotch. I was worried he had something and I didn't want something. Just don't be touching that in public in such an aggressively scratchy manner. My mum went on a date a few years back. Lives in a small town. She's a college teacher.

Everybody knows her. Blind date was in a local cafe. The guy was sweating and trembling. And she thought, oh, he's just nervous. That's a little bit cute. Then he fell off his chair and was having a full on seizure. Oh shoot! Ambo's called. On arrival they were asking mum

all these medical questions about him and mum's just like I just met him five minutes ago and then quickly in between questions exited stage left. Yeah. Oh my goodness. I met a man on the internet who I was chatting to for ages. He showed up. He didn't say hi. He just looked me up and down for a few minutes and said, yum, and walked into the restaurant.

I followed him in, turned my ringtone on, and pretend someone was talking to me and had an emergency, and I left. Just like, hi. Yum. Yum. Oh, my God. Some people.

I left a date early. He picked me up, and when we were driving to the destination, he reached his hand in the back of the car, pulled out a can of beer and cracked it. I'm very anti-drink driving, so I said, I suddenly feel sick, can you take me home? We didn't even make it to the day. Yeah, that's not cool. Cracking a beer.

I left as soon as he took dance notes out of his pocket and asked me to dance and said, follow these instructions. No one was dancing. We'd just met. We hadn't even had a drink. No, no, no. Follow these instructions is the most horrible. No thanks, no thanks.

I'm a female in my early 20s at the time. Went on a date with a guy I'd met online who had clearly misrepresented his age by about 20 years. Politely sat through coffee, found out he had four children and was looking for a stepmother. Oh. Now, I will say that was one coffee in.

I'm looking for a stepmother. You know, they do say you've got to be honest up front. Yeah. Now, I do have four kids. I tried to leave after the coffee, but he ordered me another coffee despite me saying no thank you. I said I had to use the bathroom and I bolted. I never heard from him again.

That's good that he took the hunt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yum. Dating feels right. That's my new way to greet.

I'm going to say it to you guys every morning. Yum. You're going to go, good morning. I'll be like, thank you. Yum. Now, you've also just received some mail from a lovely listener. Well, thank you. Who's been hearing you whinging about collecting stickers.

Hope these help to get your containers. Thanks for the last along the way to work. Maria. Thank you, Maria. Thank you, Maria. Got some stick to get your containers, thanks for the last along the way, to work. Maria, thank you Maria. Thank you Maria. Got some stickies. Thank you Maria. That'll shut Hayley up for us. Vaughan and I appreciate it.

How many stickies? Ten stickies. Oh, that's going to help, isn't it? That's a step in the right direction. Get you a new lunchbox. Get you a new lunchbox. Thank you Maria. Say thank you to Maria.

Thank you Maria. Maria didn't do shit for me. Don't always look at those. Go say thank you to your uncle. Thank you, Maria. Maria didn't do shit for me. Don't always look at those. Go say thank you to your uncle. Thank you, uncle. Say it properly. Go and say thank you.

Thank you, uncle. Give him a hug. I don't want a hug. I don't want a hug. Say thank you. Thank you, Maria. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher,

but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too. Alright, well if you

enjoyed today's podcast give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.