ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th June 2023

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Burnout   6 Hour Toilet Breaks  Fletch felt bad   Science Fair Projects  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. And it's already Wednesday, just like that. I say it every time, we should do it each week. Although you've been working pretty much every day filming the great Kiwi Bake Off.

Oh my god, you nailed it, finally, you got the name of the Bake Off. Oh, my God, you nailed it. Finally, you got the name of the show right. Damn it. What have you done? What have you done? You've ruined it all. It was an accident. It was an accident.

Right into it. I have been working every day. I am also working this Saturday, Sunday, but then it's all wrapped. And you'll be back with my boys. You'll be back in studio. Well, I found an article called The Benefits of the Three-Day Weekend, Enhancing Wellbeing and Boosting the Economy. Okay.

So there's science behind it now. Yeah, right. Send it to Ross Boss. Yeah. Oh, we even got a shout-out in New Zealand. A trial involving employees of Unilever yielded impressive results. The majority of participants reported feeling engaged and absenteeism decreased by 34% during the trial.

There you go then. Hard to deny. Hard to deny. Absent-tab-sism. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, apparently the best way for men to avoid burnout, get married and burn a woman out instead. Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much. I'm so happy to carry your load. Just passing the buck there on the burnout. So I've got the top six ways, less drastic measures, to avoid burnout. Burnout, fantastic. Of course. Burnout. Are you burning out right now?

Is that what's happening? Frizzled. Frizzled and fried. Silly little poll is on the way. We spoke about this yesterday. If you should comment when your partner posts something on Instagram. Are you expected to comment? Even if you're sat right beside them.

And you even took the photo, which you quite often do, Vaughn. Yes, I do. So we'll see how the nation responded to that soon. Also, Hayley, some interesting research into, I don't know. The art of self-love. Yes, and apparently there's a lot of water being wasted and there's one of the sexes to blame and it's not men. Yeah, I know.

Well, some stats on that coming up. Next on the show, though, are some new vape rules. You may have heard Sam mention this in the news. Delving into what this means next. There's no cherry donut cream filled. God, I had a little toot on someone's on set the other day, and I was like, good lord! Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

So while the rumours have been around for a while, but yesterday the government announcing that it's going to make it harder for young people to pick up the vaping habit with a raft of changes in New Zealand. So the measures include prohibiting the sale of disposable and reusable

vapes within the next year, so by November. Yeah. So those are the ones that you just buy the little cartridges for. The little pins, yeah. Yeah, because I always see those when I walk down the street and I'm like, oh my God, someone's dropped their USB. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, I wonder what's on it. And then I'm like, oh, it's a vape.

I wonder what movies they've got on there. Them and Nangs. Yes. Nangs rust and dissolve eventually, right? I don't know. But those little USB sticks that people are getting. That's plastic. Well, that's plastic.

That's hard plastic. That's hard plastic, yeah. That was a question that I've had confirmed to you, sir, and to you, lady. Thank you, sir. Disposable or single-use vape products can't be sold from November, whereas reusable vapes could not be sold from March. Vapes sold after March would have to include removable and replaceable or replaceable batteries.

No. Right, right. And then also vapes would now need child-safe mechanisms. You know, like it'll be harder to operate them because you might have to press two buttons at once because kids are dumb in that. So kids are... Kiddie locks.

Of course, you can't use two fingers at once until you're 18. Until you're 18, yeah, yeah. Although in saying that, I do find that some mornings quite hard to get the Listerine cap off. Am I the only one? Yeah, it is hard. You've got to squeeze and twist. Yeah, squeeze and twist. And sometimes I'm like, I'm an adult. I should You've got to squeeze and twist. Yeah, squeeze and twist.

And sometimes I'm like, I'm an adult. I should know how to do this by now. Oh, I know. It's hard even to open a bottle of zinc tablets, you know. Well, you don't want your kids getting too much zinc or then they can use their two fingers before they should be able to. Way too strong with all their time. So one of the other things they're changing,

they're going to make names. They want to introduce regulations on the naming of, because you know the flavours, like delicious cotton candy. Yes. Jelly. Pineapple punch dream. Jelly donut. They're only going to be allowed to be called things like sweet or berry

as opposed to cotton. I like that. What would raspberry cream donut be? It would just be. Sweet fruit it. What would raspberry cream donut be? It would just be... Sweet fruit carbohydrate bun. Right, right. God, they're so sweet. There's someone on set that has a little vapey-vapey.

I got a whiff and I was like, give it a go. I just wanted to have a little taste of it. God, you are bored between takes, aren't you? You're turning to a casual vape. Well, you know, I don't vape, but I was just like, what is it all about? And it was so sweet. And that, like, artificial fake sweetness, you know?

Yeah. Doesn't your partner Aaron vape? Yeah, he vapes. He doesn't have a flavour in his lungs. Oh, okay, right. Does it say he's just a plain... Because he's an ex-smoker. Right, okay. Play ZM's F an ex-smoker. Right, okay.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today Little Pole Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole Should your partner always Thank you for listening Goodbye Today's Silly Little Pole Should your partner always comment on your Instagram posts

Yes or no Even though like you said You take the photo You've probably been there You've probably been there for the caption editor You might even you take the photo. You've probably been there for the caption editor. Consulted on caption. You might even be in the photo to be fair. But apparently you should urinate on your partner

to mark them as your territory in the form of commenting on their Instagram posts. Yeah. For me, it's sniffs of insecurity. I'll say it. Yeah, it does have a little sniffy sniff. You know, like it's like a tagging. Like you say, you've got a'll say it. Yeah, it does have a little sniffy sniff. You know, like of, yeah, like it's like a tagging, like you say,

you've got a wee on it. You're like, this one's mine. Well, only 9% of people said yes. Wow. And 91% of people said, nah, who cares? Did you think it would be that one-sided? I honestly thought it would be a lot more 50-50. Yeah, I thought there'd be a bit more.

Renee said, ooh, I would find that super creepy slash cringe if they did that. Instant turn off. Yeah. If they did comment. Unless they were like making a funny comment, right? That's what Brandon says, yes, but only if you're roasting their ass or they're roasting yours. Yeah, ooh, ooh,

you ugly dog. You get a roast. Maybe not that far. Maybe not that far. Too far. Too much, too much, ugly dog. You get a roast. Maybe not that much. Maybe not that much. Too far. Too much, too much, too much. It's a little bit much. Bridget says, brah.

Brah. Brah. Brah. If I got upset every time he didn't comment on every Insta post, we'd have an argument every time I posted something.

I couldn't give two hoots. He's got better thing to do with his time. But also, babe, can you comment on my pic just this once, please? Yeah. So she wants it both ways.

It seems she wants a pic and wants to eat it too. Alicia says, comment is neither here nor there, but he better be dropping a fat like. Oh, yeah.

Better be liking the photo. Oh, yeah. What if you're not liking your own partner's photos? That's what Emma says as well. No doesn't have to comment, but definitely has to like them. I just feel like,

sorry babe, I don't know my, you're not coming up with my algorithm for some reason. Your algorithm's off. Instagram doesn't want me to know you.

Toast. I better go through and just make sure I've liked all of Sade's photos now. Oh my God. She's going to wake up and ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I've never had a partner

with social media. Yep. Yeah, because Aaron just doesn't, does he? Just doesn't have it. No, and I've never had a partner with social media. Yep, yep. Yeah, because Aaron just doesn't, does he? Just doesn't have it. No, and I've been with him for 12 years, and before that, social media wasn't huge. So you didn't even get to hard launch him? I didn't hard launch him.

Soft launch or hard launch? Have you liked all of Shardé's... Maybe a bit of a Facebook post, but yeah. Vaughn's just scrolling through Shardé's Instagram. You've liked all of them? Oh, I didn't like the one she did for me on my birthday. Oh! Correct that.

Correct that. Okay. I think I did comment on it though. Right. How do you still have a wife? That's my question. I haven't liked the one with the muddy dog, but that's because I don't like muddy dogs.

Yeah. I haven't liked the one where she bought a little miniature car vacuum cleaner that I ended up destroying that little vacuum cleaner. That's right. She bought that off Facebook advertising, but that's because I was angry she spent money when she told me I wasn't allowed to spend money. Oh, okay.

So you don't like a photo when you're in a bit of a huffy? Maybe, but I've liked everything else recently. Feels very huffy. Feels like a huffy little bitch, don't I? I'm a huffy little doodle bot. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Please watch me as I dance delicately around our next topic. So apparently, apparently we're women in the shower.

Yeah. Who are like take off the shower head and go scrub, scrub, scrub. Rinse out the shampoo. Just get a little bit of your face. Down the legs. Get the feet. And then, oh, that feels nice. On the way back up.

Right. On the way back up. Yes. Women that are leaning in a little too hard and lingering a little long. Yeah. We are wasting. We. Yeah.

You heard me. We are wasting. We, yeah, you heard me. We are wasting. Dude, you don't even have a shower. Oh, no, you're at the Airbnb. Oh, my gosh, she's at the Airbnb. She's been living in the house without a shower for so long. Oh, my God, she's used my shower and I've got a shower head. You've got a shower head.

Yes, you do. You've got a lovely pulsating shower head. I've used your shower head. It's just a heavy stream. It's a strong stream but not too heavy. It's a tank. It's not too heavy. If it hits a tank. It's not too heavy. I'm a rain shower guy.

But how do you get your butthole up there? No, I switch. You've got a ladder. I've got a ladder. Yeah, right, a handstand. You've got a ladder. Open the legs and you're open for business. That's how he practices his headstands.

He does them. Yeah, up onto the rain head. That's the real reason I'm at the physio at the moment. See, we said we were going to dance around it but everybody now knows we're talking about playing with yourself

in the shower. Yeah, we've leaned in. Which gentlemen do not do. Why? Because it creates a plumber's, I call it a plumber's nightmare. When it messes with the hair

and the soap scum and the shampoo and the conditioner. We've all seen those notices at uni halls that have gone viral. Yeah. No, yeah, don't play with yourself in the print out every year because they're clogging the shower.

Don't do it, dudes. Don't do it. It's not worth it. Plus, it's not a good spot for it. For women doing this in the shower, it's less about the clogging of the stream. It's more about how much water we're wasting so 300 million liters of water is estimated to be wasted by people being a little frisky with the shower head so to give you a better picture of that that's about 121 olympic size swimming pools worth of water oh wow just going down the

drain not of any use yeah other than to have a little bit of fun. Wow. And apparently, I mean, like we know water usage is terrible for the environment when it was waste and water. So to combat this, right, there is a brand called Love Not War that makes a range of luxury fun toys. Yeah. And they have literally created a shower head specifically for fun times.

Right. That uses 60% less water without pulling back on. Oh, wait, so you unscrew your shower head and screw on a new shower head and this uses 60% less water. You're banned from ever showering at my place. Imagine if I'm like, okay, I'm just coming over for a shower.

I've got my towel. I've got my moisturizer. I've got my screw-on-able shower head. What was that business called again? Imagine, imagine you accidentally leave it there

because you forgot. You just get out of the shower. Did I leave my shower head there? But anyway, just a shower head, if it's a good shower head that uses 60% less water, is a great idea. No, it's not.

You want a good flow. It is the first of its kind. This guy is living. This guy knows how to party. He doesn't care about water usage. I don't know. But you have a quick shower. I always have quick showers.

I would rather have less water for a longer time. No, you've got to have a thick stream. You're like a waterfall. I love it, yeah. Oh, my God. No, you've got to have a thick stream. You're like a waterfall. I love it, yeah. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no. So what you do is you buy this shower head, and it is your primary shower head.

Yeah, you leave it on. So when you renovate, you leave it on, and then it has a function that you can switch to. Oh. A sort of a button. I've been in some hotels that, have you ever been in a hotel and it's got like a different shower head

and it's got like five settings? Yeah. Well, this is kind of like that. Most shower heads have multiple settings. Oh, no. I like them. Except if you don't use one of the ones, the little holes get clogged

and then next time you want to use that, you've got to flick the little nipple. You've got to flick the nipple at the same time with this one. I don't know. It's up to you. You've got to flick the little nipple. You can flick the nipple at the same time with this one. It's up to you. You've got to flick the little rubber nipple because it's blocked. Does this special showerhead look like

you got it from, you know, like we wanted to have a nice brass. It looks just like a meth bin. Yeah. Can you get multiple finishes? I don't know because we're a brass. We're a brass. Yeah, we're a brassy recovery looking situation. Can you go black?

The showerhead's name is called the Woman Wave. The Womanizer Wave. The Womanizer Wave. The Womanizer Wave. And what's the company? I think it was called Love Not War. Okay, it's pretty American. Is that pretty American or British?

Womanizer Wave at Love Honey. How much? Discreet shipping at $59. $59 probably American or British? Womanizer Wave at Love Honey. How much? Discreet shipping at $59. $59 for a shower head? Lovehoney.co.nz. No, I don't know if it's the right thing. Well, no, it's called the Womanizer Wave. I don't click it.

The work's not going to want this. Oh, I'm on. I'm on. I'm on my other Wi-Fi. I'm on. $189. Jeez, this thing looks like it would... The Pleasure Whirl.

These are the settings. Oh, okay. The Pleasure Whirl. What do you use that for the face? The Pleasure Jet. Oh, maybe I'd use the Pleasure Jet for my face. The Pleasure Jet or the Powder Rain. That sounds a bit like you.

Oh, I might use that for the back. You know when you just put your head on the shower wall and it just runs down your back? Yeah. Okay, it comes in silver, black, matte black, and white. Okay. No brass. No brass.

There you go. You might, yeah. If I was going to, you could probably. Nah. Oh, nah. I couldn't paint it. Maybe think about that to save the planet. Yeah, exactly.

You know, we've got to start doing something, and this is a great place to start. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Well, howdy. Today's Top Six is dealing with the fact that apparently the best way for men to avoid burnout

is to get married and effectively dump it all on their partner. Right, okay. That's crazy, right? Yeah. It doesn't seem healthy. It doesn't seem healthy. It doesn't seem fair. As someone that does put a lot of the life admin onto. All of the life admin.

Yeah. How do you feel about that? Well, I won't be made to feel guilty. I mean, you mow the lawns and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, shall I mow the lawns last time? Yeah, I know. Yeah.

I did the edging. Different. Fletch, don't look at me like that. You do get a bit turned on when she does the lawns. I do, and it lasts. Yeah, well, it lasts until she's finished. Yep. But, yeah, that doesn't seem like an overly healthy way of dealing with it.

Yeah. So I've got the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout. Okay. Okay. Number six on the list. Maybe just play with yourself a bit more. Yep. We talked about the shower head before, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do it in the shower, though, gents. We'll reiterate that's no good for the plumbing. Number five on the list are the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout than getting married. Exercise and eating right apparently helps. Good luck with that. Oh, well, we'll wait to see the recent. Yeah.

I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Jerry's out on that one. Yeah. We don't know. What are you, sweating out the burnout? Is that what happens, is it? The burnout comes at your pores.

Yeah, probably. When you eat so much broccoli, the broccoli grabs it on the way through and you poop it out. It's fibrous. Poop out your stress. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout

are get a hobby that either melts your brain entirely or turns it off completely. So you're so busy and fixated on that. Yeah. Yeah, like what, model trains? Model trains. Yeah, because they can bankrupt you. Yeah, a bit of Warhammer. Yeah. Yeah, like what, model trains? Model trains. Yeah, because they can bankrupt you. Yeah, but a war hammer.

Yeah. Yeah, video games. Yeah. What about... As partners just keep getting in the way of your video games. What about a mild renovation? Oh, yeah, that really helps burn out. Yeah.

It really releases a lot of stress. Yeah. Yeah. And really strengthens a relationship. The demolition... And really just... The demolition part of a renovation is at the wrong end.

You want that at the end when you're really stressed out to tear your house down but you're doing it at the start when it still feels like fun. Doesn't make sense. Feels like fun at the start, eh? Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout than getting married. Find an abyss and just scream into it. Oh, yeah.

Really fill that abyss with everything that will eventually burn you out. Good idea. When was the last time you guys screamed? Like,

ah! I do that quite often, but being like silliness, but there is like, I like screaming so hard that you see little stars. Like a concert? Yeah. Like a concert? Yeah.

Maybe a concert? The Wiggles probably. Yeah. Big screaming. Big screaming there. But no, in the middle of nowhere it is quite fun to scream.

Yeah. You're like, I wonder if anybody heard that. Number two on the list of the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout than getting married.

Start your own fight club like in that movie. Oh yeah. Fight club. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe don't go through with the whole like in that movie. Oh, yeah. Fight club. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe don't go through with the whole like blowing up buildings bit at the end. Or all the drugs and stuff.

Yeah, or just viciously beating someone. Yeah, maybe not. Maybe nothing like that. Number one on the list of the top six less drastic measures to avoid burnout. Embrace the chaos. Yeah. Embrace the chaos. Wow, that was said like a real like life coach. Yeah. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the chaos. Wow, that was said like a real life coach.

Yeah, embrace the chaos. Embrace the chaos. You know, things are going to get crazy. Saddle up the chaos. Yep. It's a buck and bull, but you just hold on, baby. Embrace the chaos. That's today's top six.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, a new study has found that Brits, when they're shopping, some of them are boycotting downsized products because of shrinkflation, which is something that is definitely happening here. Oh, my God. Yesterday on the set of The Great Kiwi Bake Off, I went to the snack table and I picked up a little mini pack of burger rings

and I pulled them out and then someone was like, what the hell has happened? They're like so mini pack of burger rings, and I pulled them out, and then someone was like, what the hell has happened? They're like so thin, like little rings, and they're like skinny. Yeah. It's the children that I feel sorry for. They don't know. They won't know. They've never had the big booties.

They'll get, yeah, they don't have, they just don't have that dusting of flavor. Burger rings, man, burger rings rule. And they'll be like, eh, they're not that great. And we'll be like, oh, that's because you didn't know them when they were cool. Could you even get your finger in the middle? No, I couldn't. I couldn't finger them at all.

And they were like dusty and hollow. So they were like thin and not as dense and they were smaller. Bring back when you could finger them and they were oily. Yeah. And all the powder would get on. So good. So chips, loads of stuff like blocks of chocolate have got smaller.

Everything like dishwashing liquid like the size. That doesn't taste like it used to. It doesn't squeak like it used to. That used to be yum. They used to hit. So many products. And companies, they don't normally tell you they're doing this.

You just notice the biscuits are getting a bit slimmer or a bit smaller. Yeah, so many products. And companies, they don't normally tell you they're doing this. No, they don't. You just notice the biscuits are getting a bit slimmer or a bit smaller. Well, two in three shoppers say that they've noticed that big brands and supermarkets are shrinking pack sizes and not offering any discount because that's the other thing. They're not making the products cheaper. So shoppers are finding back in year one in five in the UK are boycotting downsized products

that have not been reduced in price it's sad i mean you understand why rather than just marking up the price they're playing us so that the product's smaller but would you rather like a block of chocolate stays the same size but gets a bit more expensive like Whittaker's did? But then when I was in the supermarket the other day, that was like on special for like, I think blocks were like $4.90. Oh, God. So I was like, well, that's, yeah, stock up when it's like on special. Not that you can leave that in the pantry.

Do you know, yesterday we talked about the squiggle, the top of it not having many squiggles. And we thought the biscuits might have been a little bit smaller. Well, the Smythe Fano have been in touch with some scientific analysis. After this morning's show, we were prompted to conduct some rigorous scientific research and operate Squiggles Outrage. From the attached photos, you will see that the packet size has decreased from 215 grams to 180 grams.

Oh! And from 12 biscuits, that's 29 cents per biscuit, down to eight, which makes them 44 cents per biscuit. Wait, there's only eight biscuits. There were three slots of four, right? Yes. Yes. And now there's four slots but only two.

Oh! No! Now, currently you can buy two packets for $7 on special. They do note. I may also note that the squiggles on top of the more expensive biscuit is not up to the squiggle standard of the standard squiggle biscuit candy. Was that the raspberry one? I don't ever buy that one.

I only get the hokey pokey. Yes. So you're saying the hokey pokey. Have the biscuits themselves got smaller or are they just less of the biscuit? Well, there's less biscuits in there. My God. However, they tried to sweeten the deal by adding some raspberry icing

on the inside of the expensive biscuits, but we are not fooled. We look forward to conducting more scientific research for the show in the future. Oh, thank you, my family. Fantastic research. Andrew and Pauline, thank you very much. Thank you, thank you very much.

Stop looking at the reasons you can't and look for the reasons you can. That's their email signature. Oh, that's a can-do attitude from Andrew and Pauline. Yeah. And they've got a little beagle who's looking at that biscuit like, I don't care, just give it to me. To which you're saying to the beagle, no, you can't eat chocolate, you silly dog. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

It turns out the Secret Service, the people that protect the president and US government officials are just like us. They were on their phones. Oh, no. I'm on my phone right now. Your importance literally started to lean. I'm on my phone right now. Well, I went to send a photo to somebody,

and then I'm just noticing that my phone is full up of... That was when I looked up what that meant, the origins of that term. But my phone's bloody Roblox videos. That's what happens when you have a long weekend and the weather's bad and then the children have a bloody teachers only day. It's Roblox this, Roblox that.

Well, somebody broke into a Biden official's home. Now this official, Jack Sullivan, who works with the president, he gets secret service because, you know, at the moment, everything in America is a bit crazy, you know. So there's high security. You are talking about the entire history of America. You went to Hamilton, it picked up, and it never stopped. It's never stopped.

And so part of the deal is he has secret service, but they missed an intoxicated man who managed to get inside his house. And it turns out, the CNN have uncovered, that they were on their phone. Oh no. But it would be such a boring job. Oh my God, it'd be so boring. Because so much wouldn't happen for so long. Yeah.

Of course you're going to be looking at your phone and not be alert. You'd just be sitting in the car, right? Yeah. Or stood outside the house. Oh. I'm imagining you're in a car. And, yeah, you'd be on your phone. I would make a nice, big, comfortable American gas guzzler.

You'd probably got the seat back. You'd probably listen to a podcast. It's probably nice and warm. It's going through Instagram. Yeah. And while that happens, someone's broken into the house. Someone's in the house.

But yeah, they're just like us and it just made me laugh. I would shoot myself in the foot and be like, they shot me. And they'd be like, ballistics have come back, Vaughn. It's your gun. I'd be like, yeah,

they shot me with my own gun. Yeah, but the residue powder's on your hands, Mr. Smith. Well, they made me hold it. Right, okay. They made you. He's got this out. He's got this lie sorted out.

Yeah. But I want to. Or that's the key to a good lie is just go deeper and deeper and deeper. Yeah. I wanted to ask this morning, what did you miss because you were on your phone? Oh, God. Have you seen that video of the woman giving birth and then she looks over and she's literally like

about to it out. And the husband's like, oh, yeah. And he's just like on his phone and she swacks it out of his hand. What, he was just seconds away from missing the birth? Yeah, yeah. Because he was just, I don't know. Oh, it's fine.

Was he videoing the birth? No, he wasn't videoing it. I think it's TikTok. Yeah, Candy Crush and TikTok. So what have you missed because you were on your phone? Did you have an important job? Were you overseeing something? Like, I don't know, maybe.

Or did you miss death? Did you nearly step out in front of a bus because you were on your phone? Oh. No, you weren't on your phone when Heidi saved your life. No, I was picking up a pair of sunglasses out of the gutter when I got swiped by public transport. And then someone saved your life.

But you hear about people that are like overseas and on their phone and they might be driving or something and completely miss the very thing that they went to the country to see. Yeah, or people on trains all the time, like in big cities do this. They get into a TV show or a YouTube or a TikTok hole

and then, like, they've gone four stations past their station. Yeah. Yeah. And you've got to wait for the next train back. Well, the Secret Service, the people that guard the president and the US officials have missed a drunken man walking into an official's home because they were on their phone. Yeah.

What's the punishment? Like, do they... Oh, I probably... No screen time. They get their screen time limited. Screen time revoked. They get their phones taken off them. Probably lose their jobs.

But yeah, they're just like us. It's something I would do. My mum and dad changed their passcode, so they have to ask every time they want to use their phone. Yep. Yeah. Grounded for. Yep. Yeah. Grounded for a month. Yeah.

Very easy to do. That would be such a boring job just looking out just in case someone kills someone. Because nothing would, the majority of the time, nothing would happen ever, right? Like you could literally be guarding someone's house for years and no one comes. Yeah. And so you're checking your phone and that's the one time it happens. But that's Murphy's Law. Yes.

That's Murphy's Law. So we're talking about what you missed when you were on your phone. Some messages in. Somebody said, we were on a safari and I missed the panther because I was editing my video of the elephants.

However, I don't think there was a panther. I think people were just saying that because I was so invested in my phone editing the video of the elephants. That's a problem when people are on holidays. Even now you're touring around and it's so easy if you're on a train in Europe to be on your phone.

Yeah. And you miss everything. You miss the fields of croissants. Because that's where croissants grow. Oh, beautiful. They all grow. I didn't know they grew in bunches. You've been to the croissant fields, haven't you? Yeah, yeah. My parents live quite close to there.

Like a Brussels sprout. There's a central stem. And that's the baguette. And that grows up. And then the croissants grow out of it. Yeah, a lot of people don't know that the baguette and croissant are so related. Yeah. So closely related.

Some people think that the chocolate, you know how they have the chocolate croissants or patisseries? Yeah, those groan fields? No. Idiots. No, no, no. Oh my God, thick.

Those come from, that's the poo of the bug. Yeah. That gets added later. Margaret, what did you miss because you were on your phone? Yeah, morena. So I was on Facebook, as I do morena. So, I was on Facebook

as I do. Yeah. And, yeah, and so I was at the airport in Australia, Melbourne airport and I missed the

bus that transports people from one side of the airport to the other. Oh, yeah? And, yeah, I missed that bus

and, yeah, I had to end up paying for another flight. And then I'll give you a ding dong, Margaret, Margaret, where are you, Margaret? Did you have your headphones in? Oh, no, I had to end up paying for another flight. Did they not give you a ding-dong, Margaret, Margaret, where are you, Margaret? Did you have your headphones in?

I did. I had AirPods in, yeah. Oh, nice. You didn't hear the ding-dong. No. You've got to listen to the ding-dong. You've got to have an ear out for the ding-dong. That's insane. You're literally right there.

Did they have to unload your bag? Did you have a checked bag? No, no. I had the bag with me. That's why it makes it easier for them to offload you if you don't have a checked bag. Otherwise, they have to find it. Yeah, I know.

Oh, Margaret, terrible. Thanks, you call. Ask some more messages in. I nearly missed my proposal. I was too busy posting an Instagram story with a view to see that my partner was down on one knee. He's never let me live it down. Look up. Look up. My girlfriend seems to miss all the major plot points of whatever

I'm watching because she's on her phone. Okay, that feels targeted. That feels targeted. What's happening here? Who's that? Who's that guy? Is he good or bad? What happened to the last guy? He's dead.

When did that happen? How's dead. He did. You missed that. When did that happen? How did he die? Breathe. I missed the cop at a set of lights next to me. Safe to say he didn't miss me. Oh, yeah. He got you.

He got you. I missed we were on a family car trip and I missed I had headphones in and I was glued to my phone and I missed the car driving off an overbridge. My family talk about it all the time and I feel really left out because I didn't get to see the car go wee. Wee! Do we have an update on whether the person who drove off is fine? Wee!

Okay. Seeing accidents happen is wild. Oh, I know. And it's terrifying and it's slow-mo but you can't remember and it all happens so fast. That car that went off the car carrier truck that went up the ramp last week in America and it's all caught on the police body cam. That video rules.

That video is insane. Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee! Play ZM's Fletch Vodaneli. Play ZM. Fletch is the giantest kiwi fruit.

It is so big. It's just occurred to me, I noticed its lack of floof. No, this is a gold. And it's a gold. That's what I said, is that a gold? I didn't know golds came that big. I don't eat the green ones. You don't eat green kiwi fruit.

I don't eat any more. I'm full gold. Full gold. Yeah, gold's where it's at. Don't turn your back on the traditional green. The thing in the middle of the green kiwi fruit, it's too hard to get a spoon through. Whereas the gold kiwi fruit, this is massive.

This is the size of a grenade. It is grenade-sized. I was trying to think what other fruit you could say it's the size of, but shape-wise, it's like a turkey egg. It's the size of a grenade. Now, we can all relate to the size of a grenade. Everybody's like a turkey egg. It's the size of a grenade. Now, we can all relate to the size of a grenade. Everybody has thrown a grenade, I assume. No.

At insurgents, yes. Yes. It's a giant. Are you eating its skin and all? I have been eating its skin. It's good. It really flushes you out. Yes, you're regular.

Green is harder to eat the skin. Oh, yeah, no, you wouldn't do that. Gold, you go skin and all. Go core and all. In fact, there should be no nothing left there. Yeah. Even where it attaches to the vine, you eat that little knobbly bit.

Yeah, eat it all. Yeah, get it in you. Get it in you. Anyway, I'm sorry for derailing. Your theory is we're not exporting the big ones to Jaina at the moment. Well, I don't know because we don't normally get the big ones in the supermarket.

We export all of the best fruit. I wonder if it's too big to export. Like, you know, it's got to be a certain size. Oh, look, I don't know. I'm sorry for derailing you. I would like to... No, no, no, you haven't derailed anything. I would like to look into China's current trends

regarding the size of fruit. Maybe they're opting for more of the smaller fruit. I mean, this is too big for my mouth. And that's saying something. Get that in, can I? I don't often judge fruit by can I fit the too big for my mouth. And that's the same thing. Get that in, can I? I don't often judge fruit by can I fit the whole thing in my mouth. As long as I can get a bite on it, it's A-OK by me. If the country's got smaller mouths, this could be too big.

Well, they're just the smaller people. In general, tend to be smaller. Yeah, so they might like a smaller kiwi fruit. Export market. That's big. That's into it. That's girthy. That's big. That's intimidating. That's girthy. That's scary.

To be honest, it scares me. If I whip this out, you'd be intimidated, wouldn't you? I'd need a knife immediately. Exactly. It's a knife and fork kind of a kiwi fruit. It is. It's a whole meal. Well, while we're in China talking about their current trends of giant fruit versus more of a smaller fruit.

Possibly smaller mouths. A man possibly, but yet to be fully investigated. giant fruit versus more of a smaller fruit. Possibly smaller mouths. A man possibly, but yet to be fully investigated, a man in China has been fired for taking up to six hours of toilet breaks in his eight-hour work shift. How? What? Imagine working at like a giant office or company where people just didn't see you or know what you did.

You could just slip through the gaps. You could just slip through the cracks. Yeah, or as we call them here, government employees. Am I right? Am I right? Cut the red tape. David Seymour's making a committee to make less committees. That makes no sense.

Good morning to our Wellington listeners. David Seymour's come out this week and he's like, I don't like how many government officials there are. So I've got an idea. I'm going to get more to work at how we can get less. Yeah, it does sound a bit ridiculous. Yeah, it is.

It's fighting fire with fire. Not the weirdest thing he's said. No, there's a few things. You reckon he'd get this kiwi fruit in his mouth? He's got a little mouth. He's got the right attitude to try. He's got a little mouth. Yeah.

But a big boy energy. I think he'd use a spoon and a knife to eat this giant kiwi fruit. He wouldn't eat the fruit. No, he wouldn't eat the skin. He wouldn't eat the skin. He wouldn't eat the skin. I thought you were going to say he just eats the skin and not the fruit. Now, that's a really David Seymour thing to do.

That would be a David Seymour thing to do, yeah. Like picking chocolate off a crunchy bar. Yeah. He'd eat the skin and then ditch the actual fruit. You're saying a crunchy bar, he'd take the chocolate off and just eat the hokey pokey. No, I'm saying he wouldn't eat the ho and then ditch the actual fruit. You're saying a crunchy bar who'd take the chocolate off and just eat the hokey pokey. No, I'm saying he wouldn't eat the hokey pokey. Okay, right.

Yeah, he'd just eat the chocolate. And you'd say to him, why don't you just get a flake? So this man gets caught. He's been caught, yep. And he said, I have had surgery recently for an anorectal issue. Oh, okay. So he did have a reason to be on the toilet for six hours? That was what he said.

Right. Yeah. But he has been doing this since July 2015. Oh, come on. If your rectum's not sorted out in eight years. After that many years. You know what? It sounds like he needs some kiwi fruit.

He needs kiwi fruit. He does. Get the gold kiwi fruit imported from New Zealand. Because we've got all sizes. That's our biggest espionage issue with China, right? They've stolen. They steal the kiwi fruit. Because originally the Chinese gooseberry is from the region.

We got some. We'll try growing that. Booms here. Goes very well. Becomes a massive export market. We call it a kiwi. And they're like, we'll have that back now. And then aren't they suing them or something?

Aren't they trying to sue them or Zespri? Because there's a copyright issue, isn't there? There's a copyright issue because we took the kiwi fruit, but then we genetically turned it gold and red and all of the colours of the rainbow. Because this is copyright, even when it's in me. Really? It is the property of Zespri. It is the property of Zespri. It is the property of Zespri through your entire digestive system.

Yeah. Until it comes no longer recognized. When it comes out of the poop? You know, the little seeds. Yeah, Zespri. If they want, they can come and hold a sieve on it and take the seeds back. They own the seeds, yeah. They own the seeds.

They do not want anybody. I don't know if they want to be intruding into your home to sieve the seeds. But they don't want to, but they want you to know they can. They can. Yes. You know how they can waste water test for meth and stuff? They can literally make every council send them back all the seeds that come through the plant. Warren, you're going to the dentist.

I'm going to the Hygienist I'm so proud of you Have you had all of your dentist work done? No sir, I am on the waiting list for a specialist Well you've got to wait until you've done all that Then go to the hygienist No, the hygienist is going to

Do the rest of the mouth No, I've got all my dental stuff done, I told you It was just this one problematic tooth After 13 years No fillings required I cannot believe that No, I've got all my dental stuff done. I told you it was just this one problematic tooth. After 13 years, no fillings required. I cannot believe that. Unreal. Which is nuts because I had a lot of fillings earlier in life.

Yeah. And I don't necessarily think I've been. But you're not a sweet tooth. That would be my one saving grace, I'd say. If meat had as much sugar as Whitaker's chocolate, you'd have. I would have no teeth. You'd have no teeth. I'd be a gummy mess. You'd have no teeth. I'd be a gummy mess. You'd be, yeah.

You would be. Well, there is a dentist that has shared that something I would say we all do when we brush our teeth is wrong. And I'm always like, when you hear these things, you're like, surely this is just one opinion, but he's not alone in this. It's not the mouthwash order, is it? So tell me the order of your

oral hygiene. You walk into the bathroom. I go into the bathroom, I'm like, do you want, like I'll take the lid off the toothpaste, do you want that kind of detail? No, no, no, just step by step, but not step by step. Toothbrush, toothpaste, run it under the tap.

No, I go, run under the tap, toothpaste, run under the tap, again. You've got to wet the brush. You've got to wet the brush pre-application and wet the tap. Wrong. No, I go run under the tap. Oh, yeah, I run under the tap. Run under the tap again. You've got to wet the brush. You've got to wet the brush pre-application and wet the paste post-application. Okay. You're both wrong. You're not about to tell me that I'm going straight into the mouth dry.

You've got a dry ball. You've got to go dry. No, I don't want to. Really? Yeah. Is that because of this? They say that's because when you wet it, well, one, he says that the toothpaste has the exact right amount of moisture.

No, it doesn't. To get the job done. No. And by adding water, it makes the toothpaste foam up too fast, which makes you spit it out sooner. Nah, Bo. No, but think about that. I keep it in there. Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo. Listen to me. Bo. Yeah, Bo No, but think about that Nah, Bo I keep it in there

Bo, think about it Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo Listen to me Bo Yeah, Bo It makes sense that you spit it out faster Which means you're losing a lot of the benefits Okay

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a wetter You're a wetter Mine stays in there for Because I start brushing my teeth I start walking around the house I start walking around the house And I start mumbling things And I forget I'm brushing my teeth That I start walking around the house. I start walking around the house and I start mumbling things like...

And I forget I'm brushing my teeth. That stuff stays in there for like quarter of an hour. All foamy like. And it slowly unfoams, settles in amongst the teeth. Probably because you're swallowing it slowly. Yeah, I love a little swallow. You do like to swallow and you take a little hit of Listerine in the morning.

Don't tell me you don't. I take a little hit. A little hit. Thank you for having noticed my delightfully fresh breath. So we should be not wetting the toothbrush. You've got to go and dry, baby. I might try it, but I just think I'd like the wet toothbrush. It won't slide around too much. Because then he says another thing we're doing right, which we know this, is brushing too aggressively.

But I feel like if my toothpaste was dry, I'd brush harder to move it around. Yeah, true, true. You know what I mean? I need a little bit of water for lubricant. Well, maybe give it a go. See if he's right. I'm not doing it dry. Don't knock it. I mean, I didn't have any

um, what are they called again? Fillings. Fillings, yeah. So I'm not about to start taking this dentist advice. This sounds like the one dentist. You know the guy, the one? Nine out of ten dentists. Nine out of ten dentists recommend and this guy's like, nah, nah.

Only because he's a one. He's a contrarian. You know those people who just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing? I think we can all agree. Mr. Dentist, Mr. One, Mr. One of the Ten. Yeah. He was probably the only dentist that didn't take the free Fijian holiday

that Colgate were offering. That's it. He's a damn fool. He's got no one to blame but himself. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Do I also need to make an apology? Do I not have the good blood? Oh, my God.

You've got great blood, but O negative is the universal donor blood. O positive can only be given to other positive people. All this time, have you been thinking you've been helping out more people than you have? No, it's because the New Zealand Blood Service often calls for O plus. They're like, we need O plus, we need O plus. I thought it was because it was the real good stuff, but no, it's just common. They are not universally compatible, but they are compatible to any blood cells that are positive. A, B, O, or AB.

Oh, okay. Well, there you go. It's pretty good. I do not understand blood types. I don't even know my blood. Warm. And who first worked this out? Red.

Red. Red and warm. Yeah, red and warm. They can do a test, though. When you do give blood, they'll prick your finger. Yeah, yeah, they tell you. And they tell you, yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so yesterday I felt so bad for like five seconds. What happened? What's that face for? I'm learning the difference between the blood types. Amazing. Okay, well, on your own time, please. Do you know sometimes the mother can have the wrong type of blood for the baby? Someone needs an injection, right?

And then you need an injection so that it doesn't get dangerous. That's wild. I didn't know that. Oh, well, give blood. I think if we've learned anything, everybody, it's give blood. Give blood, give cookie. So yesterday... I've been taking blood all along.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I got the message wrong. I've been taking young people's blood. Yeah, I've been... That's why you're so youthful. Because you're 54? I'm 54, but I inject the blood of a 33-year-old.

And that's why I look like this. She's a vampire. She's a vampire. Instead of getting Botox, I just take blood. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Okay. Now, how did you feel bad yesterday?

Oh, so I felt so bad. So I went to the swimming pool to do my lanes. Okay. And I get changed and I go over to the pool and it was quite busy in all the lanes. And so you've got to pick a lane. I normally go, I don't want to brag, but I normally go on the fast lanes. Speed lane. Two fast lanes.

Unless you look at who's in the lanes and you're like. Now you're currently, was this recommended by your paesio therapist? Yes. For my little. You've got a groin strain. Yes. So you are allowed to swim. But I just took it, I went quite light.

I've been saying to you for how long? 19 years that that technique, the quick thrusts that you do is no good for the adductor. It's weird.

For the hip adductors. Yeah. You're supposed to slow down and try some different techniques. But so, you look at the lane

and you're like, if there were like hard out Harry's in the fast lane, I'd be like, I'll just go in the medium lane. Or if there's, you know,

people in the fast lane and I look at how fast they're swimming, in the medium lane. Or if there's, you know, people in the fast lane, I look at how fast they're swimming. I can fit in there. I'll jump in. Yeah. And, but sometimes people don't recognize their own ability. Like if I'm swimming in a lane and someone comes in the lane and they're way faster than me,

I will just get in the next line. Cause that's what you do. Yeah. It's like an etiquette. Yeah. And then, you know, you swim down on the left and you swim back on the right.

That's the etiquette. And then, so I look at this lane, it's quite busy. And then in the middle, swimming on the left and you swim back on the right that's the etiquette and then so I look at this lane it's quite busy and then in the middle swimming in the middle of the lane kind of flailing everywhere going left to right

is this guy just like and I'm just like I can't stand a flail you should be in the fast lane the F is for fast I'm like this idiot in the fast lane

what is he thinking like come on mate like get in the slow lane or the medium lane like who do you think you are, come on, mate. Like, get in the slow lane or the medium lane. Like, who do you think you are? And he gets... I think he's about to have a disability or something.

He gets closer. He gets closer. Uh-oh, and he's only got... And he's got one arm. Oh, my God! Oh, Fletch! And I felt terrible. And I'm like,

how is he not going in circles? And I'm like, because he's got a pool boy in between his leg. And then he gets closer. Wait a minute, you can just chuck a pool boy in between his leg. And then he gets closer. Wait a minute. You can just chuck a pool boy in between your legs? Did they say no?

No, no, no. Sweetie, sweetie, hon, hon. No, the foam boy. The buoy. Not a pool boy as in a B-O-Y. A B-O-U-Y. I wouldn't mind being walked down the lane by a pool boy if I go to the swimming pool. I'd love a pool boy between my legs.

So anyway, and he's like flapping around this arm. And he gets closer. And I'm feeling so bad. I'm like, oh my God, this guy's got a disability. And he's doing it. And I'm like,lapping around this arm and he gets closer. Oh, my God. And I'm feeling so bad. I'm like, oh, my God, this guy's got a disability. And he's doing it. And I'm like, how is he even swimming like you? How's he not going around in circles? And I felt so bad.

I was just like, I cannot believe it. In my head, I was like calling this guy names. He was bad mouthing. Yeah, get out of the way, flailer. And then he gets closer and then his other arm pops up. He does have two arms. Wait, what? What is he doing? What? and then he gets closer and then his other arm pops up. He does have two arms. Wait, what?

What is he doing? What? He didn't grow back because he enlisted as a lizard man? He was doing like a... Exercise. Yeah, just like a... Side stroke. Yeah, just a side... One arm like a...

Yeah, just training with one arm. And because he'd had the floaty in between his legs, that's why he could tuck his arm down there. And it just looked like he had like just a knob or it had been amputated or something. And so I went from, I was just like this idiot to, oh my God, I feel so bad for like five seconds. Back to this idiot. Get in the slow lane.

When he was using two arms, what was his speed like? It was all right. Still not fast lane. But he was still not good enough. Still not good enough to be in the fast lane. Nah. It was a journey. I love when a journey of that

much emotion happens in like five seconds. I love how quickly the human brain works, the neurons are firing. You've imagined your cancellation because it's caught on security camera. You're standing at the end of the pool. Just like, come on, mate.

Judging an amputee. What are you doing? And then it turns out he's not an amputee. Yeah, he was just hiding his arm. He was holding the buoy. Jesus, what a rollercoaster. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

How did we even get onto this? Talking about our science fair projects. Yesterday, something happened. Something else happened. Something then was said. Someone said something about science fairs. I said, are there still science fairs? Yeah, I think that's, you raised the question,

do they still happen? Do they still do science fairs? Because I thought my oldest daughter would be, she's in science fair alley, you know. Yeah, but has it happened? Intermediate is where you started doing science fairs. Yes, it was always intermediate. And you spoke about your, what was your big one about vitamin C?

What has the most vitamin C? And I did it with iodine in these like test tubes and you drop them in and whatever came out the most purple or something had the most vitamin C. Is that how you tell? And I did use Ribena. Right. I had like vitamin C tablets,

Barocca, orange juice, apple juice, Ribena and probably water or something. Right. I was smart. You weren't the school science fair nerds

that found that Ribena didn't have enough vitamin C that it was claiming. No, I can't remember my findings off the top of my dome. It was a while ago now. That was Jenny

from one year. Yeah, it was. She did that. She took down Ribena. She did. She kicked them right in the. That was Jenny from one year. Yeah, it was. She did that. She took down Robina. She kicked them right in the berries. She kicked them right in the big berries. And they swelled up and went all purple. Yeah, but the plant contained

zero vitamin C. Zero. So then we, and I think we were like, we've got to talk about science fair projects. There was such a thing in the 90s and early 2000s for sure. The NIWA Auckland Science Fair is happening from the 24th to the 26th of August at Michael Park School.

That's your Steiner folk, isn't it? So that'll be interesting. Yes! I thought... All right, Montessori. All right, everybody. Squares and circles. Yeah.

Let us turn up and think of a science fair project. And they were on the spot there. Yeah. With gentle words of encouragement from their mother and father. Yeah. Hands off. So there's Neewa Wellington Regional Science and Technology Fair. They all seem to be different because this is the one I remember

where the East Waikato Science Fair. Oh, yeah. There's a Waikato. So there must still be, but it was compulsory. I don't remember doing it. Yeah, I don't remember doing it. I liked doing all the colouring in and stuff

and writing the titles. But I tell you what, you're not wrong. Hypotheses. I believe that oranges will contain the most vitamin C. Method. Method.

I will drip the iodine onto the oranges. Yeah. Conclusion! You're not winning a regional title with that though, are you? Not anymore. Not anymore because the internet exists. Yeah, do you remember who won your year? When you did your orange juice?

Daryl Briggs won ours. Daryl Briggs won ours. Daryl Briggs? What's he doing now? Dude, he paid for the way that this wet cell battery worked and he got paid millions of dollars or something. What? He was on the news and I was like, I remember him. Did Energizer try to have him assassinated?

Aquafortis Technologies. Daryl Briggs. I'm on LinkedIn now. Hello, Daryl. Good morning, Daryl. He's done well for himself. He's the CEO of Aquafortis Technologies. Before that, he was the founder of

Hydroxus Systems Limited. He did research and development engineering at Laylor SensorTech. You were never going to beat Daryl Briggs. We were never going to take down Daryl. Especially with your baking soda and vinegar volcano. Excuse me. With your Mentos in a Coke bottle.

I made that volcano out of paper mushroom. Oh, Voon's made a rocket out of a Coke bottle and a bike pump. Watch out, Daryl Briggs. Incredible. Paper mushroom. No. Also. Non-thermal recovery and crystallisation technology

that uses only a fraction of the energy of thermal evaporation systems. That's what Aquafortis is. Go, Daryl. Wow. God, who's Daryl? He's done well. We did. You never stood a chance against Daryl.

You never stood a chance. One year I did hydroelectric dams. How do they work? And I don't know. Do you think that in the 90s the hydroelectric dam industry needed a 12-year-old to tell them how a dam works? No, it was to explain to everybody else how it works. Well, they know, don't they?

Well, they knew, yes, but not everybody else. And mine was for the common man. I'm a person. I've always been a man of the people. No, but you're supposed to find out something new, not just regurgitate other people's. We didn't know. We didn't know who had the most.

And the answers shook me. Me and my friend Chris did a joint science fair. Those were always the best ones because you got to hang out with your mate and do something. So we were like, what are some dangerous cleaning chemicals? So we went to J.D. Wallace or Greenlee Meats, the butchery, the meat place.

Oh yeah. The meat place in Morrinsville. The meat places in Morrinsville. We didn't know the meat places in Morrinsville. We went to the factory where they make the meat. We were like, can we have some cow's eyes?

And we got all these different organs and stuff. And then we put the chemicals on them. Like a breaking bed decomposed the body. Yeah, and his dad worked for a dairy company. So we got all the chemicals off him. Because we were in Morrinsville. It was a big industry. Did you wear gloves? Yeah, we wore goggles and everything. And then when the chemicals did nothing to the eye, we mixed the Morrinsville. It was a big industry. Yeah. Did you wear gloves? Yeah, we wore goggles and everything.

And then when the chemicals did nothing to the eye, we mixed the chemicals until something happened. Oh. Right. But again. You accidentally made meth. Yeah. We may have kick-started Morrinsville's horrendous meth problem.

Wow. Just down there mixing it up. Our cow eye meth. Yeah. What happened to the cow's eyes? They melted. Oh, yeah. And then we were like, what do we do with them now?

And Mrs. Jensen was like, don't put them in the sink. And guess where we put them? Down the sink. Down the sink. And we boiled the jug and poured the jug after it. And then more stuff came out of the sinkhole. And I was like, put the plug on and let's run. And then we just ran away.

Because they lived in town. So it all went into the system. Right. Did you guys do the BP technology challenge? We had to like make a structure out of newspaper and stuff? No. I didn't buy into corporate sponsored signs of this. Yeah, I wasn't ever willing to look at BP's environmental issues to tick the box and build a paper towel you sell out.

Kudos to you guys for taking such a stance at a young age. Thank you. Well, they say the young now are really into the environmental issues, but we were leaders of that by being like, I'm not doing that nerd shit. And the teacher would be like, you have to. And be like, I don't agree with British Petroleum's environmental hot takes. Well, we want to open up the phone lines now,

0800-DARLS-AT-M, and take your text messages, 9696. What did you do for a science fair? Oh, my God. We've got some messages in already, and they are unreal. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

We're talking about science fairs. They do still happen. We're getting reports, but I was of the opinion in the 1990s, if you went to school, science fairs They do still happen We're getting reports But I was of the opinion In the 1990s If you went to school Science fairs were compulsory But that might have been

My school's way Of just getting the science teacher To kick back and relax for a bit Getting it done, yeah But at Intermediate We didn't have specific Science classes No neither

But I still went to the science fair Huh Well, lots of messages in So many And some wild claims. There are some wild claims. Did we get the Bluetooth? Did we get the Bluetooth?

Okay, they were a coward. They messaged in, I invented Bluetooth headphones years before the first ones came out. Now, I don't know if you did. We need proof. We need to see your display board. Those were always the raddest science fears. Something with an electrical component.

Yeah. Yes, the ones that had like the wires connecting to a little thing and they'd be like, whoa. Yep. Pretty cool.

Somebody once, I might be misremembering this, but somebody once taught a rat to push a button for a treat at our school. Really?

Animal cruelty? No, no, no. He pushed a button and he got a treat. Yeah, what's cool about that? I'd push a button for a treat. Actually, that's the, no, no. He pushed a button and he got a treat. Yeah, what's cruel about that? I'd push a button for a treat. Actually, that's the opposite of animal cruelty. I push a button every day.

It's the microphone on button and I get a treat. It's called my wages. Now, I'm nothing more than a rat in a machine, man. Oh, man, man. I'm a rat in a maze, man. I'm a rat in a maze. Let's go to Emma. Emma, what was your school science fair project?

Hi. Mine was possibly the lamest primary school project that I can think of. I remember that very recently I had one of those embarrassing memory recollections. It was the absorbency of cat litter. I reckon that's good because I wonder if I'm using the right cat litter. That's a classic. That was a science fair classic too. They were always classics, eh?

Vitamin C was one. Absorbency was another. It was like a consumer watchdog. Yes. A lot of science fairs were more consumer watchdogs. Yeah. I like this. Do you remember? Yeah, I think that the best one was, like,

that classic real porous stuff. I can't remember what it's called. Like chips. Yeah, the dusty white chips stuff. Silicon? I've got silicon. No. For Murray.

I don't think that those ones were very good. No. Terrible for the lungs. Good for odour, though. They're good for... Oh, yeah, it'll give you lung cancer. Silica dust, but... And they look nice.

Yeah, and they don't smell like a lot of the others. Because the paper and other stuff puffs up and it goes all... Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. Emma, thank you.

More messages in. Good luck with future science endeavours. Yeah. Emma. Mine was the frozen honey trend. What's the frozen honey? We need more explanation. I'm not familiar with that trend.

Oh, Google. Someone said, Vaughan may have seen this as it was out his way. So I assume we've got a West Auckland science for in the mix. But some kid at my daughter's school

did how many slices of pizza are bulletproof? Oh my God. So some kid just convinced his parents to let him buy a whole slices of pizza are bulletproof? Oh, my God. So some kid just convinced his parents to let him buy a whole lot of pizza and then shoot guns at him. That is incredible. What's your hypothesis? Now, wait.

Are you allowed to get all the pizza and then squish it in with a vice to make a doughy... No, I'd imagine you were just literally lining up slices of pizzas. You get individual wedges and you line them up and then you shoot a gun into it. I would do it from varying... Yeah. Okay, there's a delivery man event.

No. Is it point blank against all the pizza line up or is it at a distance? That's what I'm saying. It would make a wild difference. If it had time to get up more speed, it would get through more. But if it was that point blank,

I don't think it would get through many pizzas at all. And what kind of pizza? Do we have pepperoni on it? Because that's going to add another layer. And what calibre of bullet? Are we using a.22? Are we using a.303? If it's a kid, probably a BB gun. No, that's just... He's on the farm.

But what was your hope? That pizza could be the next bulletproof technology for the police or something? Like the police turn up at an armed hold-up and they're- It's science fair, baby. 18 layers of pizza. It's science fair. You don't need to win.

You just need to put something in. Yeah, true. That's a great life motto. You don't need to win. You just need to put something in. I think, isn't that along the lines of just turning up? Yeah. Or seeds get to graze.

Yeah. It's a new take on it. Oh, which cleaning products are most effective on bacteria? We grew Staphylococcus bacteria in the lab, and then we saw which one was the best at killing it. Yeah, I don't know. Isn't that how COVID started? Hayley, does our third form plant study at QMC count?

Someone's messaged in. Did you do a plant study at Queen Margaret's? I don't even remember that. Probably smoked a bit too much of the plant. You're still there. Shannon, what was your high school science fair project? Hey, guys. So when I was in Centee for year eight,

I stole my brother's sixth form science book and basically just stole an experiment out of the air with one of my besties and it was just to yeah, no, I wasn't really into science by the way, but basically it was just to show the effects of smoking. We had an endocrine

bottle stuffed in cotton wool in there and... Oh yeah, I remember that. You know this one? You squeeze it up and down a few times, you put a ciggy in the top, eh, And you squeeze it. And this is the thing that you've got to learn how to light that cigarette. So, yeah, we learned how to light a cigarette. And then once you squeeze it in, yeah, eventually the cotton wool turned black.

And it's supposed to turn you off smoking. So you proved that smoking is not good for you. Absolutely. That's good, though. It's good that science has finally got on board with smoking is not good for you. Absolutely. That's good, though. It's good that science has finally got on board with smoking. Shannon, thank you. Now, we do have one of Hayley's former college students on the phone, Emma. You've got details on the plan study.

Oh, yes. I can't believe you don't remember, Hayley. Maybe they'd stopped it. But maybe they'd stopped. I was not at school with you. I was a little bit ahead of you. But maybe they'd stopped it. But maybe they'd stopped. I was not at school with you. I was a little bit ahead of you. But maybe they'd stopped it by the time you got there. We all had to do a plant study in third form.

And what did you study? A variety of different plants. And we had to present it to our science teacher. Is this third form? Because I was pretty gothy. I was probably listening to Marilyn Manson and casting spells or something. You had to do it. You might have done...

Just stand up in front of the class and say, here's a plant that's got leaves. No, you had to do like a biological study of different plants. So there was maybe 10 plants. Right. They held your hand at private school, didn't they?

There's 10 plants. I think they just give you the answers. Yeah, they give you the answers at private school if you don't know. Don't tell your mummy and daddy we're not helping you enough. Did you get to dissect, because at private school we got to dissect. Humans. The heart. The way you're saying it.

We had a heart. We dissected a rat. And we dissected an eyeball and when we were dissecting the heart someone in my class hated it so much they had a seizure

on the floor because they were like panicking so much Jesus we dissected rabbits but the farming kids had to shoot the rabbits to bring to school

to dissect them we did a rat we did a rat and one of the girls in my class put a straw inside the rat's mouth once it was open to show us how the lungs move. Did she blow into the straw? Yeah.

Private school, eh? Wild. Wow. Girls of Queen Margaret. Wow. Emma, thank you. Some messages in to finish. Frozen honey trend was putting honey in an empty water bottle,

putting it in a freezer, and then hours later, squeezing the bottle out and eating the frozen honey. That's not science. That's not science. I hope you failed. I hope you failed. My science fear was having pet mice, and I made an obstacle course and gave one mouse water

and one mouse energy drink to see which one did it faster. And the mouse that did energy drink did the mace faster. Did it die after a week? No, but it took up motocross. It was like smoking ciggies and stuff. It's just, I just can't drink water. It tastes like shit.

Plus, I get these wild headaches if I don't have a monster every morning. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Just touching on science fairs. My brother took science fairs very seriously. Well, he's a pharmacist now. He loves science. And I remember he wanted to do a science fair

using cow manure, which we lived on a dairy farm and had a lot of, cow manure to heat your house's water. And his science teacher was like, this is great. You can show the results directly. And my mum was like, I don't want that mess in my house.

My mum killed so many things. Creative, like when you were a kid and you're like, I want to express myself and do that. Mum's like, absolutely not the mess. I'm not having that mess at my house. He could have revolutionised water heating. Yeah. And my mum's like, yeah, it's going to be a bloody mess.

Your mum doesn't want to smell that. You want to clean it up? No. Yuck. That's a fair call. Yeah. Okay. It's time for.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Lake cow bacon Is what today's Why is the cow on the lake? Lake cow bacon Well, you don't traditionally make bacon out of cows, do you? That's more of a schnitzel. Yeah.

Snitty. Snitty. Oh, I want a schnitzel. A cow goes a bit of schnitzel. Wouldn't say no to it. It's been months between schnitties. Has it? That's too long to go between schnitzels.

Panko breadcrumbs. Yeah. Lake cow bacon was going to be the meat that saved America. Okay. Wow. What is a Lake Cow Bacon? Well, it's hippopotamus meat. Oh.

Let me tell you this amazing story about how America nearly became a nation of hippo ranchers. Was it? Lake Cow. Could Columbia do this

with all of Pablo Escobar's hippopotamuses? They could. Because they reckon there's even more than they thought. Just in the wild, just running and they kill humans like crazy. Yeah, well it's easy

to distract them. You just throw a bunch of white balls in and they all can't help but eat the white balls as quick as they can except, you know, that red ball. They really want that red ball because that's for 10 white balls. They're just hungry, hungry. Hungry hippos, aren't they?

Well, in 1884, a flower debuted in America. It is the water hyacinth. Now, it's native to Africa. But as humans have learned, but sometimes I think we don't learn our lesson quick enough or on the first try. They introduced this wood of hyacinth to the southern states of America and it took off.

And everyone's like, this is beautiful because these are beautiful flowers. Yeah. And then it filled up the waterways and they're like, you know, there's worse things to fill up the waterways. And then it filled up everything and the plants spread and spread and spread and then it got into the Florida and to Florida and it just... Yeah, right. 20 years it had taken over waterways across the South.

Goodness. You couldn't get boats through it. Oh. Or anything. It was a silly idea in hindsight, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So they broke the plants apart and dredged them and set them on fire.

But every time they broke it, it would just multiply again. Right. And the burning, it didn't work because it took so long to dry out. Yeah. So then around about the same time, they were experiencing problems with getting enough meat for the people. Yeah. Meatpackers blamed the grain prices and the cattle shortages

and butchers blamed the meatpackers. And so it was a circle of blame. Step forward, Louisiana representative Robert F. Brassard, who said, you know who eats this hyacinth back in Africa? Hippopotamus. Here we go. And you know what actually has quite a bit of meat

on it? Hippopotamus. Hippopotami. In 1910, he stood before the House Committee on Agriculture and presented to them the American hippopotamus bill. He said... Sorry, we've said hippopotamus too much. It's such a funny name.

It's lost all meanings. So he said, let's import some hippopotamus from Africa. Yeah. And we'll eat the hyacinth. And when they're good and fat, we eat them. We eat them. But don't tell them yet. No, don't tell them. That's why they're coming to America.

The New York Times even called it Lake Cow Bacon because they thought people wouldn't want to eat hippopotamus meat. But they would eat something called Lake Cow Bacon. It's lake, it's where fish live, it's cow, yum, it's bacon, delicious. It's all in the marketing, isn't it? One million tonnes of

meat a year, they believe they can get from these hippopotamus. So then, why stop there? He thought. Robert F. Broussard of Louisiana. He said, we've got all this other land that doesn't seem to be doing much. Let's get antelopes, and they can

live out in the west. Let's get buffalo and bush bucks, and then rhinoceros, they could live in the west. Let's get buffalo and bush bucks and then rhinoceros. They could live in the southwest. Tibetan yaks could live in the Rocky Mountains. We'll eat them all! And someone thankfully said, I don't think this is a good idea.

We have seen before, introducing species to take care of other introduced species. Might I introduce you to the rat, the rabbit, the possum, the ferret, the stoat, the weasel. It doesn't work. No. So someone put a poo-poo to it,

but that was how close they came to it. Well, how did they get rid of all the flowers? Well, they're still battling it. Spraying. Oh, wow. Spraying. And then Monsanto walks into the room, and Monsanto's like, boy, do I have an idea for you. And so rather than introducing another species,

they introduced a horrendous chemical situation. So today's fact of the day is America nearly became the nation fed on hippo. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yesterday, Apple announced a slew of new features and products. AR headset for like $3,500. Ridiculous. But some software updates and one that kind of tickled the fancy of a few

people around the office. The new check-in feature is for the text me when you make it home girlies. Georgia's in studio. I love this. I do this to my friends. I'll be like, let me know when you get home. I'll do it to Hayme. Let me know when you've made it to Tauranga. That's to a second family, isn't it?

Well, there's... We've just been hypothesising that he spends a lot of time in Tauranga and may be a second family. Oh, wow. Well, I hope they're cute. Not too cute, though. You don't want them to be cuter than you. You don't want his other girlfriend to be hotter. Yeah.

No, surely she will. Although today I'm not wearing make-up, so she's probably hotter. She's the wife because it's... Oh, yeah. No, don't do that. Because it's illegal she's probably hotter. She's the wife because there's not a ring on her finger because she can't. Because it's illegal. Exactly. Ethically, he's muddy, but he will not be questioned on his law-abiding ways of relationship dueling.

So how does this work? Because I was drinking at the weekend, and I had this as well, but I missed the text. It said, text me when you get home to the whole group of friends and I missed it. Woke up in the morning and I was like, I'm home. So it's a new iOS 17 feature

called Check In. The feature will send automated updates to selected contacts to know them when you've arrived at your destination. So it will do it automatically.

So it's like a find friends? Kind of, but I think it must be like, you're leaving my house, let me know when you get home. And then so you're like, doot, doot, doot, select whatever, send it through. It'll track where you are along your journey and send automated updates when you become delayed.

Like if you stop all of a sudden, why did they stop? Or deviate from the route. I.e. at the show sponsor for nuggies. Yeah, well, no, that's to be expected. And you would see on the map that you were there. Yeah, yeah. And you'd be like, that explains itself. But sometimes I don't want my friends to know that I'm shamefully stopping for nugs at two

o'clock in the morning on the way. Well, don't turn it on until you've already got the nugs. Right. Fletch is a ghost motor, eh? You don't have any form of location anywhere for anyone. Actually, I have opened up in the last few years, Georgia, and I do share my location with a lot of friends here. I'm proud of you.

And I check Vaughan because we never know when Vaughan, he could be at home or halfway on the motorway to work. Could be asleep. We don't know. Could have decided today's not the day. Yep. And just turned off my phone and gone back to sleep. But, yeah, so it finally says about this app,

it'll also share your location and battery level of your phone. Oh, that's a good idea. So it sounds a lot like the Find My app where you can go in and you can have like your people, your devices, your items if you've got the AirTags. But yeah, it might be

simpler. It might just be like a one-touch thing. Okay, well there you go. Do you guys have, wait, does anyone have Find My iPhone on for their partner or friend? Yeah. Yeah, same. But I told a friend this and she was like, you're a bit crazy.

You're not constantly looking at it, but it's nice if you bring them in at an answer, you're like, huh. And then you look and you're like, oh, they're at the gym. Or the mall again. Yeah, or at their second family's home. I was just going to say with the other family. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Well, the text scam,

apparently this has been doing the rounds since the end of last year. But I feel like it's kind of been more prevalent in the last few months. The text message pretending to be road tolls. Yes.

You've got unpaid road tolls. Yes. So, you know, anyone that's gone through the tunnel or on a Tauranga toll road, those are the only toll roads, right? The tunnel and Tauranga's got two?

I remember when it first came out, there was two in Tauranga and one north of Auckland. And so if you've ever been on those roads, you'd be like oh, haven't paid. Quick, click the link. 100,000 complaints have been made to Internal Affairs. 100,000 complaints have been made to Internal Affairs. 100,000 complaints.

Wow. And that's only the people that complained. Let you think about it. Even if you just lost a bit of money, you might not complain. You'd be like, oh, I feel dumb. I'm not going to complain. People are too embarrassed to, because then they might be asked further questions

and they don't want to talk about it. So it's an SMS text message, and not just pretending to be from Waka Kotahi. It could be pretending to be from New Zealand Post, Inland Revenue, New Zealand Banks. I've had a lot of the Post ones. Yeah, just ignore them. But people are going to these fake websites that look real.

They're putting in banking login details. They're putting in credit card details, driver's license details, and banking login details. They're putting in credit card details, driver's license details, and personal bank details. And some people are losing up to $10,000. I thought they were just like taking like $10 a time or something. Well, I guess if you've got the money in the account, you pay it out of a bank transaction and you're giving them access to it

or that's the limit on your credit card card they could just try to max it out. I don't know how anyone can be like taking money from people's credit cards and texting people and they can't figure out who this is

or they can't block it. You know like that's nuts right? Or someone's just messaged in new one I just got today after further review you are due a tax refund.

Please visit and enter your details to process your payment at ird.gov line tax dot line dot pm slash ret slash gov nz. Wait, who in the office this morning said they were getting a tax refund?

Oh, Carwen. Carwen, it's a scam. It's not. It's in my bank account. I got it this morning. Yeah, I think they just send it through automatically, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, the IRD do.

Yeah, no, that was like through the MyIR system. It was official. Oh, isn't that good? Log in using your real me. No, my real me actually expired and I haven't been able to renew it.

That means you've expired. Yeah. You're dead. You're in the government fires. You're dead. You're dead, yeah. How exciting. What can I do with that?

How exotic to be dead Yeah That is so She's not like other girls No Oh Who did Tummy go to? Yeah that was my tum tums

That was my tum tum tums Hey guys I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show Not for me Vaughn Okay Nowhere even close Nowhere even close Nowhere even close You haven't been here long Have you? No I haven't that was the most fun I've ever had on a show? Ah, not for me. Vaughan?

Nowhere even close. No, nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.