ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th November 2023

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Christchurch Cat Feeder!  How Far is Near?  Top 6: Price Predictions for 2045  It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  Anonymous Phoner!  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello. One minute past six. Do you think this is targeted advertising that we've been sent here? Some hangover pills?

I feel directly. Yeah, it does feel a little. They did put Fletch's name last too. Usually it goes Fletch, Vaughan, Hayley. over pills. I feel directly. Yeah, it does feel a little. They did put Fletch's name last too. Usually it goes Fletch, Vaughan, Hayley. This one says Hayley and Vaughan and Fletch. Okay, that feels targeted. I mean, they've even ranked their targeting there.

Yeah. Okay, that does sound like that's right up your alley, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, report back and let us know if that works. Yeah. Thanks. Coming up on the show, the top six predicted that in the year 2045, the average house deposit will be a million dollars.

Not the average house price, the average house deposit. When? 2046. 23 years. That's insane, right? But then that makes sense because... And good luck to your daughters, ma'am.

We were looking at... Remember when we were talking about what it's like for working in a leap year? Yep. And banks make more money on a leap year for mortgages. Yep. And 20 years ago, in 2003,

when that article was printed, it said the average mortgage was $100,000. Oh, that's right. So that's printed, it said the average mortgage was $100,000. So that's 20 years ago the average mortgage was $100,000. I think that was zero. Yeah, the average deposit for a house would probably be that. Yeah. So this is just out of control. Right.

Well, the top six is going to look into this. Thankfully, the National Act New Zealand First Coalition's got it sorted. The thruple. Yeah, and somehow house value's going to go down, but people with houses aren't going to lose any value in their current housing, and then everybody's going to be able to afford their own house. Right. I'm pretty sure that was promised pre-election.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Well, the top six. The top six price predictions for 20, the other price predictions for 2045. Okay. I've got, yeah, 20, the other price predictions for 2045. Okay. I've got, yeah, yeah, I've consulted a future economist. A future economist.

A future economist. Working out how much things are going to cost in the future. And I tell you what, your mind will be blown. Okay. I'll start saving now. Also, coming up on the show, Lonely Planet has released their top destination.

So if you need some inspiration for a holiday next year. Yeah, they've got a great list, actually. I will say, we're feeling somewhat snubbed. Yeah, we've been a little snubbed, haven't we? Next on the show, though. A Christchurch lady has been, there's even photographs of her. Reports on local pages. I love this story.

It's so great. She is going around doing something in the neighbourhood and people are upset. Is it taking poos in driveways? Remember that? Yeah. The poo jogger? It's so great. She is going around doing something in the neighbourhood and people are upset. Is it taking poos in driveways? Remember that? Yeah. The poo jogger? Oh, yeah, it's not that. It's not the poo jogger.

It's not the poo jogger. Because that was upsetting. It's actually something I'd be quite happy if she did at my house. It's the weekend, popular on ZM. Fletchv Fawn and Hayley And he postponed his Auckland shows in December Some Aussie shows as well And fans now speculating

It's because he's been nominated for 16 Billboard Awards Yeah And that he may be at the awards And also performing And wants to be there Because he's probably going to win So We've got like the Sky Tower.

We've got Kelly Tarleton's. I know. We've got, like, We're Here. We've got some Pooey Beaches. Yeah, we've got Pooey Beaches.

Exactly. We've got sort of like, you know, weird weather. Really great sponsor to do like a kebab on rice. Yeah, man,

we've got some of the best. Oh, we've got so many places to do kebab on rice. Yeah, yeah. Like every fifth shop is a kebab on rice. Any time of the day. Kebab on rice. Yeah, man, we've got some of the best. Oh, we've got so many places to do kebab on rice. Yeah, yeah. Like every fifth shop is a kebab on rice. Kebab on rice.

Any time of the day. Kebab on rice. Yeah. What an idiot. We'll update you as soon as he announces. Do you think he knows about our kebab on rice? Oh, I don't know. Can we get in touch with his people?

We work in the industry. Too late. Yeah. I mean, he's coming back. He has announced this is just a postponement. Yeah, but what if our kebab on rice shops all closed down before he comes back? He just would never know. He just would never know.

Well, we'll update you when he announces. As soon as we know, we'll let you know. Okay, something weird's happening in Christchurch. Cha-cha. A woman has been dubbed the harmful cat feeder. I love this story so much. Slightly different to the artful dodger. Only just different to the artful dodger. Only just different to the Artful Dodger.

So apparently this started in 2011. Because this woman has photographed him, but it's put on Facebook groups. Right. And stuff, the journalist went up to her and said, excuse me, are you the harmful cat feeder? And she said, I am not. I am only feeding cats that I have permission to feed.

Right. And apparently in 2011, after the earthquake, when everybody was, lots of people were displaced, lots of people had to go to temporary accommodation, cats freaked out right away,

they couldn't find their cats, a lot of cats were just on the streets. Oh. And this lady who was approached said in 2011, I saw an old man doing it, I said, what are you doing? And he said,

a lot of these cats are homeless after the quake, so I'm going around and making sure they're fed. And she said, what a great idea, I saw an old man doing it. I said, what are you doing? And he said, a lot of these cats are homeless after the quakes. I'm going around and making sure they're fed. And she said, what a great idea. I might do that too. Right. Right. Now, people are saying that's her side of the story.

Yep. Other locals are saying it's creepy for multiple reasons. Some believe she has poisoning cats. What? Oh, no. Some people said my cat died My otherwise healthy cat is dead Other people say my cat's a little sick

Now this seems like a convenient person to blame A mystery figure And unexplained We're scared of what we don't know And we can't understand somebody that would give their time By walking around feeding cats So maybe we're scared of them And so we're stacking this on them.

Other people are saying they've asked her to stop because she'll do things like hide in the bush outside their house and lure their cat in and then feed it what is described as a food blend of mystery brown liquid mixed with cat biscuits. Oh, what? Okay, that's creepy. I just realised this was the story. They say she's smearing the substance on ivy leaves, lids and mailboxes

and places foods along fence lines at local parks, bushes and private gardens. Now, you don't want that because that's going to attract the rats. Yeah, have they tested the food that she's smearing? People have taken photos of the food. But yeah, no word as if anybody's found one and like picked it up and had it tested at the vets or wherever you would

get it tested for untoward ingredients. Yeah. But there is a picture that just looks like a plastic container that you might get a delicious

takeaway kebab on rice. Yeah. Again, do you think the weekend knows about the kebab on rice? I just feel like we need to get

hold of this people. You can get chicken, you can get lamb. Mixed, bro. Mixed, bro. That's what I was getting towards. Donut. Sometimes I add falafel. Add falafel, but don't make falafel the main player.

No, no, no. I get chicken. Yeah. I do my own mix. I don't do chicken and lamb. I do chicken and falafel. And a lot of places will let you choose up to three sauces out of like ten to choose from, which is incredible. Where do you go?

Where do you garlic yogurt always? Garlic yogurt, sweet chilli. Hot chilli. Hot chilli, not sweet chilli. Hot chilli. Sweet chilli. And. I do a mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise. You do the garlic later. No, that's you do garlic yogurt. You do garlic because then you're getting sort of a. Maybe I'm thinking of Dombery. Sorry, there was a mayonnaise. Sometimes I rock a satay. It's a weird choice, but I just want to add in a bit of satay,

a nutty, nuttiness. If they've got hummus, though, I'll be adding hummus. I almost think hummus should be aside from the dressing. Some places do do it as aside. It's your tabbouleh. It's a cruci, you're part of the kebab on rice. Someone's got to let the weekend. Should I tweet him?

Are we still tweeting? We're exing now. You're exing him. Maybe we need to go get a photo of a kebab on rice. Yeah. To send to him to be like. Just so he knows. It's more than just, you know, it's more than just rumor.

It's more than hearsay. We actually do a shit hot kebab on rice over here. Yeah. Mr. Weekend. I'm sure he's got a proper name. Well, if you're in Christchurch, what, you lock your cat up or just keep an eye on any weird cat feeders?

Yeah, just keep an eye on it. The lids in the plastic containers appearing with mystery cat food in it. Because, you know, cats can't say no. They don't care who's feeding them. No, exactly. It's always funny when people are like, please stop feeding my cat.

He's coming home full. I'd be stoked if my cat's going home full. The other day, I started nibbling an orange off my plate. I was like, you don't eat fruit,

you freak. Give it a go. Like a little wedge of orange. He was like, yeah, I don't want it. He's trying to get his vitamin C up.

Yeah, five plus a day kind of thing. Yeah, I think he's on a journey to health. Yeah, good from him. Yeah of thing. Yeah, I think he's on a journey to health. Yeah, good from him. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

The Lonely Planets, it's their 50th anniversary this year. I didn't know that. They've been going for 50 years telling us where to go, writing their little books and stuff. I didn't know they existed before the internet. Yeah, the books. I remember, do you remember you used to like, you know, before you actually had the iPhone and you could travel with the internet. Yeah, the books. I remember you, do you remember you used to like, you know, before you actually had the iPhone

and you could travel with the internet, like at your very ready, you'd had the book. The book. I saw an old couple driving with a map book. Oh, wow. I was stuck at a thing and they would come around the corner and they had that flustered, panicky look of, you've taken the wrong turn.

Where's north? Like flicking through the page, trying to find which page to go to. The streets will be out of date too. Like would the city develop so quickly? Wildly. Oh, those poor things. They're still driving now.

Good morning. Get them a map, a GPS. No, they're not my old people. I look after mine. Yeah, true. Yeah, some people have let them down, haven't they? Yeah, they have. But yeah, 50 years used to be like,

I'm going to Scotland and you'd buy Scotland. Or if you were doing all of the, you know, UK, Ireland, there might be one that did all of them. There was all of the UK. And then you'd go and it would give you the hot things to do. So out of date. And if you were going sideways, you'd just go to the next page. But if you were going like up off the map,

it would be like go to page 42. You'd be like flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. Wild. Listen up, kids. It was hard to travel. It wasn't even that long ago, really, was it? No, it wasn't. It literally wasn't. I'm still super young and I had them. Pause for confirmation.

So every year they release their best in travel and they've released a massive one this year to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Number one country, because they haven't really like listed them in order. They've just done like a top. They've done countries, regions, cities, places that are good value

and places that are a bit more focused on sustainability. And this is one we talked about when they released that a few weeks ago or a week ago, the Central Otago was the best value. That's the only one we made. Yeah. Like we've been snubbed in all other categories. It's actually really rude. Yeah.

I'm actually not happy about it. Yes, Southern Lakes and Central Otago, New Zealand, that was in value as well as Poland, Nicaragua, the Midwest, USA, Normandy, Egypt, da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. For sustainability at the top, they had Spain, because Spain's done a big kind of push for sustainability. Country's efforts to expand renewable energy, boost off-season travel, and bring tourism to emerging destinations, such as the port city of Valencia. Oh, the oranges.

I've never been to Valencia. Neither. But I once missed a flight to Venice because I thought that the person calling down the line was saying Valencia. Right. But they were saying Venizia. Oh, yeah, right. Okay.

And so me and my mum were like, nah, we're not going to Valencia. And then we got to check in for Venice and they were like, dude, we've been calling you this whole time. I said, yes, but you're doing that in a different language. You're doing that in your silly local language. Your local tongue. Speak English next time. Yeah, speak English.

It's Venus. Anyway, delightful. Sustainability with Spain. Also South Africa getting a bit of a nod when it comes to sustainability. I've seen so many people doing like safaris. It looks so nice. They've got the country's impressive crop of eco-lodges. Yeah, nice.

Committed to protecting Earth's biodiversity. Baba Nango. Do we know Baba Nango to our South African team member here? Doesn't know Baba Nango. I was going to say, do you know Steve? Do you know Baba Nango. Do we know Baba Nango to our South African team member here? Doesn't know Baba Nango? Do you know Steve? Do you know Baba Nango? He's shaking his head. Cities. These are the Lonely Planet picks.

Picks for 2024 travel. The city that they pick the most is Nairobi in Kenya. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Why? Did they say why? It's unique rhythms. That sounds like a Pakeha I wrote that, eh?

I love the African rhythms. The drums. Unique rhythms, impressive array of locally inspired restaurants and steady rotation of arts and cultural venues. Oh, okay. We love that. They also say the Nairobi National Park is one to see. Short drive out of the city.

400 species roaming the open grass plains. Oh, wow. That'd be good to do, just safari there. While skyscrapers twinkle in the skyline, the best of both worlds. Also on city, they said Paris. What are you, just discovering Paris? And Prague?

That's where you shat yourself. That's where I shat myself, yeah. The number one country. Thank you. Good to see it's bounced back. Since you smeared yourself all over it. It took a hit for a couple of years. Some say that was COVID.

It wasn't. They say, they've declared the years through 2023 to 2025 are the years to visit Mongolia. Oh. I'd love to visit Mongolia. Oh. I'd love to do Mongolia. They do a really good like off-road. I was going to say buffet.

A barbecue buffet. They do do the barbecue buffets when you get to your accommodation, but they do like, I saw it in Morocco as well. You just go off-road and follow this like GPS map. You drive all through all these cool areas. You'd hate it. It's just the four-wheel drive on a bumpy, uncomfortable road. Oh, yeah.

The same scenery for hours at a time. I have seen, I've had friends that have gone to Mongolia. It's beautiful. Yeah. So they're top countries altogether. St. Lucia, Croatia, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Mexico, Benin. Benin. Benin.

I haven't been in that. You've been in Benin? I haven't been in Benin Benin Benin I haven't been in that You've been in Benin? I haven't been in Benin But I live in Benin Benin is a country in West Africa Next to Togo Okay Oh it's got a beach

We like that It's long and thin Thank you It's between Togo and Nigeria Benin There we go Chile Morocco

India And Mongolia. Goodness me. That's an adventurous list. Far more adventurous than I would have expected. I'd do it. It's the same. It's so much better than your usual bloody Italy, France.

New York. America. New York. Well, there's your list. You can go on the Lonely Planet's website. They've got heaps of recommendations and it's their 50th anniversary. Benin is the birthplace of voodoo.

Oh, go do some voodoo. Maybe go through a breakup, go to Benin, do some voodoo. 622 next. Next on the show, there is an argument. How far is near? What's a near miss? Yeah, speaking of countries,

the UK and America in particular, they cannot agree. And someone's taken to TikTok and is fiercely upset about what people consider near in the UK. Just there. Just over the road. It's nearby. No, but when you say like, I live in

Auckland, it's well, you wouldn't say that. I live in Whangarei. It's sort of near Auckland. No. Would you say that's near Auckland? Well, it's the closest. It's the closest.

It's the closest. Well, yeah. Okay, well, this is why there's an argument. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So, there's a kind of a funny debate online about it between Brits and Americans about the use,

the correct use of the word near talking in, in, in relation to where you live. Yep. So, uh, there's a woman who lives, um,

I think it's like two hours ish out of London. Right. She said Americans who don't know geography of the UK, which I also don't really know, would say their best reference is, is it near London? Yes. To which she would say no, because two hours out of London. It's not near.

Oh, but Americans are saying that's near because America's so much bigger. But an American said, yeah. I'm just down the an American said, yeah. I'm just down the road nearby. Yeah. So this American guy jumped on and was like, hang on. He does a full map crunch the numbers thing. He was like, this woman here who lives in Bournemouth is two hours.

Bournemouth. Bournemouth. Is that how you'd say that? Bournemouth. Bournemouth. I'm saying Bournemouth. I like it. I like that better. Bournemouth. It'south. Is that how you'd say that? Bournemouth. Bournemouth. I'm saying Bournemouth. I like it.

I like that better. Bournemouth. It's like how I'll call it. Southampton. Worcestershire sauce. Yes, and that's the correct pronunciation. That is the correct pronunciation. We're just linking. In fact, the E, I want to hit the E more.

Bournemouth. Bournemouth. I'm going to say Bournemouth. Bournemouth. Okay. She lives in Bournemouth. Yeah. I'm going to hit the mouth.

Yeah. Bournemouth, which is two hours. He's got the maps. Yeah. Two hours, ten minutes away from London Mouth. Yeah. I'm going to hit the mouth. Yeah. Borny Mouth, which is two hours. He's got the maps. Yeah. Two hours, 10 minutes away from London. Yeah. Yeah. And he's saying, she's telling me that that's not near.

Then he gives a bit of a map from Miami to another town in Florida, which is a 13 hour and 40 minute drive. And you're still in Florida. So he's going. But he wouldn't be near Miami. He'd be more near like another part, like Orlando. But he said he's going. Your use of the word near is stupid because you can drive for 13 hours in America and

still be in the same state. You are two hours away from London and you're saying you're not near. He said actually compared to America, the entire United Kingdom is near London. That's his debate. I mean, I can see his point. I don't know what I

equate to being near. My parents live in the wider upper and I always say it's near Wellington. Or I say it's over the hill. It's near Wellington. Yeah. It's the closest to a major place that people are aware of.

But Palmerston North, if you were saying to a foreigner, where's Palmerston North? Shit, I'll middle of nowhere wouldn't bother. You'd be like, run for your life.

Run. Turn the other way. Palmerston North lessons are very upset at that. They're only there temporarily studying. They're fine. They understand.

They're in and they're out. They're doing their duty. They live there. They know their lot. They live there. No, I'm only kidding around. But in a way, you would say, what is it? I'm actually allowed to say that because both sides of my family were Ashurst settlers.

They took thousands of acres of land that wasn't theirs, you see. Oh, my God, Kia ora. And they burnt down native forests, you see. And they turned it into viable sheep and beef farms. Yeah, you're still not endearing yourself to the locals. Yeah. To the original locals. Yeah.

Yes. But would you say if someone came from Mongolia, because we just talked about Mongolia. I'd say it's near China. Would you say Palmerston North was near Wellington? Nah. No, it's near Wellington. No, see, I would say Palmerston North, it's two hours was near Wellington. Nah. Nah, it's near Wellington.

See, I would say Palmerston North, it's two hours away from Wellington. It's, I'd give a time, it's two hours drive. It's just two hours out of Wellington. It's two hours away from. You're kind of, it's not near. That's kind of near. The definition of near is at or to a short distance away, comma, nearby.

I know, but to us, short distance is a totally different perceived thing than an American who's saying... But they've got a huge country on their hands. They do. Australians do this as well. Yeah, Australia. You just drive day after day after day and you're still in bloody Australia. We could get from the top to the bottom in a day.

I mean, you'd need some breaks. And you'd need a ferry. And you'd need a ferry, yeah. Like, you'd need, not flying a plane, but you'd need to be absolutely motoring. Yeah, but you could do. You wouldn't be sleeping. Okay, a day and a half. We could do our whole country.

Stewart Island, probably not. We've got two boats in there. You simply must, if you haven't. You simply must. Anyway, that's the debate online. What is near? And now I'm like If you haven't, you simply must. Anyway, that's the debate online. What is near? And now I'm like, I don't know what is near. Sort of, yeah.

It's all relative. It's all relative. Because I say, yeah, Wairarapa, it's kind of near Wellington. I say kind of near Wellington. Yeah, you put a kinder. But if I say, oh, I'm from Morrinsville, it's near Hamilton. Yeah. And it is.

It's 20 minutes away from Hamilton sort of thing. I think Hamilton doesn't want to be associated with you. Hamilton is pleased to have us. They're trying to keep their distance. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. The World of Statistics have released the baldest countries in the world for 2023. And I thought I would share it with you.

How do they find out? So they send out, it's like all done online, social media, email. And then they're like, are you bald? And you're like, yes. Yes. Thank you for you submitting in the survey. Yeah. What I've been looking for is what they count as bald.

Oh, like a receding? Yeah, like deeply receding or thinning on top or just the crown, but here on the sides or completely bald. And I can't find the way that they sort of measured that. And do they class those guys that are still holding on? Oh, they're combing it forward and stuff. Yeah. Whispering. Yeah. Whispering. Yeah.

Whispering back and forth. The comb forward is the modern comb over. Yeah. In my humble opinion. You reckon? Yeah, it's the comb over from both sides and the back, basically. Yeah, right. It's cheating. Yeah. Well, I mean, lots of things called baldness, genetics being the major one,

dietary habits, nutrient deficiencies, lifestyle factors such as high stress and age. I thought it was all genetics. Yeah, I thought it was all genetics. No. I didn't know it was

stress and nutrition. I lose mine because of hormones, because of polycystic ovaries. Right. But that's... And so what hormone is it giving you too much of?

Too much testosterone. Too much testosterone. So we're so mad. Is it because we've got way too much? Yeah, we're so mad. Is it because we've got way too much? Yeah, we're so mad. Because my boys are so masc. My big boys are so bloody masc.

That's why their hair be falling out. Okay, so we are on the list. I will give you the top 11 baldest countries in the world. Is it because we're 11? It's because we're 11. Yeah, good on you. Are we really? We're actually higher on the list than the United Kingdom, which is interesting to me. So this is done the world. Is it because we're 11? It's because we're 11. Are we really? We're actually higher in the list than the United

Kingdom, which is interesting to me. So this is done by percentage. So it's I guess per capita, right? Yeah, right. Okay. So we 40.19% of our male population are bald.

Or balding? Or balding? Or balding. Wow, okay. Again, I still can't get to the bottom of that. That's quite a lot. That is a lot, yeah. Yeah, so I imagine they would have deeply receding and balding. I always thought if you were going to go bald,

you'd be bald by like 40. But then I know some guys that are over 40 and they're like, I've started to lose my hair. I was like, interesting. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Good, you bastard.

Good catch up. What about when you see an old mate who's like 60 or 70 and he's just had the most amazing head of hair? I know. Thick, thick head of hair. Yeah.

It's beautiful. My dad's not bald and he's 61, 62. My dad lost his hair when he was in his 20s like I did. And he's really grey. Really?

Yeah, he's got like sandy, blondie, brown Coloured hair With some peppered whites Big Delph energy over there He's a good looking man Thank you for saying you liked it F my dad That's my pleasure

He'll take it Just above us in number 10 is Norway I was hoping he'd give It was inappropriate I apologise Just above us in number 10 is Norway. He'll take it. I was hoping he'd give. Vaughan. Vaughan. It was inappropriate. I apologise, but it was a sitter. It was a sitter, you see. Think about Patsy.

Trying to think about the roles. Okay, don't think about that. Move on. Number 10 on this. Norway with 40.75%. Australia in number nine. Yes. They're bolder than us.

They're bolder than us. No, no, no. Beard's a good thing. Don't do that. Make it sound like it's a bad thing. No, but we've still got to beat them. It doesn't matter in what, as long as we beat Australia. And then they can say they're beating us.

Yeah, they're beating us in the list. They're bolder than we are. Yeah. Damn it. We can't even be bald. I know. Yeah, better. Number eight is Czech Republic or Czechia.

Just 40.9. Have they done a rebrand? Yeah, they've had a rebrand. I wasn't awareia. Just 40.9. Have they done a rebrand? Yeah, they've had a rebrand. I wasn't aware of this. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Canada's number seven, 40.94% of the male population are bald or balding.

Above them, Croatia. Yeah, now we're getting bald. Right. Big Eastern European vibes on the baldness. They're a big leap up, 41.32% of their pop. I don't know why, just shortened pop. Yeah. Now we're in the top five.

Germany in fifth, 41.51%. United States in fourth. Yeah. With 42.68% of their male population bald. Three. In third place is France. Bonjour. Je suis bold.

Italy in number two. Yeah, dude. Bonjour. Je suis bold. Italy in number two. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I was wondering, big Mediterranean sort of vibes on the baldness. Following in this kind of vibe, number one is Spain. 44.5% of their male population are bald. 44?

Yeah. Wow. So if you love the baldies, get to Spain. Espanol. If you need any more Excuses to go to Spain Si papi Si bald papi Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley

From the bustling ZM think tank This is the top six Hello good morning And if there's one thing We can all agree upon In this you know Entrenched diversified world, is that housing in New Zealand is both affordable and of the highest quality.

You don't hear anyone currently doing a new build who's had problems. You know, there's no issue with getting started. And away you go, I jest. But a report has said that the average Auckland house price deposit by 2045 will be $1 million. I just, I cannot fathom that. $1 million deposit. I mean, that's insane. $1 million then will be less than value due to inflation than a million dollars now,

but still not as much as you think or hope or dream. Well, it's not just there. I've got the top six other price predictions for 2045. We know what things they always compare are going to actually cost. So number six on the list of my top six other price predictions for 2045, milk will be $100 a glug. Now, in 2032, we're going to change the way we measure milk. Oh, yeah.

It's going to be a marketing ploy by Fonterra. And I tell you what, it's going to bloody work. We're going to all refer to our milk by the glug, not by the leader. Which of you bloody kids glugged the glug of milk and put the empty glug back in the fridge? Yeah. It rolls off the tongue. Can you get us a glug of milk when you're at the super? Big glug or little glug?

Yes, blue top glug or... Yeah, big blue glug. Yeah, big blue glug. See, it works already. Yeah. Number five on the list of my top six other price indicators for 2045. Petrol will be $10,000 a glug. I forgot to tell you guys, the glug thing really catches on.

So much so that petrol wants to seem friendlier by adopting the glug as a measurement, and it does, but it also becomes fairly redundant as everybody adopts fuel alternatives. Most surprisingly, for the fuel alternatives, milk. So you can actually get milk to power your car for $100 a glug, or milk to drink for $100 a glug. Honey, drink for $100 a glug. Oh, honey, your car's on no glugs of milk. It's okay, there's some glugs in the fridge. I'll just get kids.

You glugged the last glug. You glugged the glug. Also, no one's going to have kids in 2046 if everything's this expensive. Very expensive. I recommend they don't. Well, the one thing that isn't, number four on the list, the top six price indicators for 2045, flying cars are going to be $20.

Economies of scale and the fact that they primarily run on solar power and the fact that the sun exploded in 2039, so there's no sun to speak of to power the car, means that the flying car was just invented and then rendered immediately. Means that the flying car was just invented and then rendered immediately worthless. Wow. You know why? They can't run on milk.

Damn it. Because milk is too heavy. You've got to have light fuel. Per glug. Very, very heavy per glug. Our number three on the list of my top six price indicators for 2045, printer ink.

It's going to be $100,000 a glug. Guess what? Glugs are pretty much how we measure every liquid from here is it just cheaper to buy a new printer yep yeah I thought so

yeah but far less glugs in the ink cartridge you get free with the printer are we going to talk about how much glugs we've put on

oh god I've put on a couple of glugs last week in 2045 we don't talk about our weight anymore no we're all on a zen pic then anyway oh thank. In 2045, we don't talk about our weight anymore. No. We're all on a Zenpick then anyway.

Oh, thank God. Yeah. And we don't have to lie about it either. Oh, thank God. No shame. I'm actually doing a Zenpick in each arse cheek. Yeah. Just to really speed along.

Yeah. Chick, chick. Goodbye, dumper. Hello, dumper. So I'll be injecting the new injectable. Milk. Oh, milk. One glug in each cheek.

Yeah, a couple of glugs. Number two on the list of the top six other price predictions for 2045. A block of cheese is going to be $10. Interesting. But guess how much a block weighs now? 50 grams. Great news, though. Each block contains one glug

of fuel grade milk. So at least you know it's good quality because you can melt it down and pop it in your car. And number one on the list of the top six other price predictions

for 2025, chicken breasts will be $45 a glug. I forgot to tell you guys, meat is a liquid now. Oh no. In 2045. Okay.

Yeah, they wanted on board the glug thing as well. So meats became liquids in 2040 just after the sun. Yeah, they wanted on board the glug thing as well, so meats became liquids in 2040 just after the sun exploded and it was the easiest way to grow the meat in a lab.

And then it needed a good marketing employee and you know how well the glug thing went for Bill. Yeah, it went well. So we measure our meat in glugs now as well. That's 2045.

Everything we've got to look forward to. It is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I say this with love to our American listeners, but there is an American tourist who has shared all the reasons she hates Europe. Why is she doing this?

Because she's American. That's a thing when you go to another country. It's not going to be like your country. And that's what makes travelling fun and experience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Okay, there's a bit of a list here. Now, I will say, again, she's American.

Okay. And she's taken issue with some things that are different in Europe. Yeah, she's been there. She's like, I've been there three times now. Yeah. Which is, like, more than some people. And for me, like, I needed to make a list of the things that, like, I've been there three times now. Yeah. Which is like more than some people. And for me, like I needed to make a list of the things that like really for me, for Europe, it's like not it. Okay.

It's not it. The top of her list, she's also written a note, which is funny. You know, she's done that thing where you film yourself in front of a note, but she's like taking the time to write a note on an iPhone about the things she hates about Europe. On the top of her list is no condiments. Is she trying to be like comical? Is it like, these are the things? No, she's just like legitimately like, I didn't like

this. I mean, it's got a like, it's tongue in cheek, but she really didn't like that there were no condiments. But I get it. They're not a saucy country. They're not. They don't add tomato sauce to everything. Yeah. Mayo. I must say,

I do love about America, there's always like four sauces. Yeah. Mustard, hot sauce, tomato sauce and a barbecue sauce. Now the next one is so confusing to me. She said she hates that there's no shower curtains. It's all just glass walls. What said she hates that there's no shower curtains. It's all just glass walls.

What? Yeah, that's nice. That's lush. I mean, that's lush. That's money, honey. Shower curtains are yuck. They blow and they stick to you. When they stick to your ass.

But I do agree the half glass, no good. Oh, yeah. If it's over a tub and they only do a half glass. It's not enough glass. It's not enough glass. Yeah. She says no vending machines. Now, I'm just getting a feel for this woman.

Do you know what I mean? Like, she's travelling to, like, one of the oldest, well, like, some of the oldest cities, towns, countries in the world. Yeah. And she's complaining that there's no source and no vending machines. Yeah. They're not just going to slap a vending machine at the bottom

of some 3,000 year old steps in an Italian village. Yeah. Missing toilet seats? Yeah, I mean sometimes you know when you go to a... You know what, New Zealand's guilty of that in like public toilets. Oh gross, we're just getting those little rubber little rubber barriers.

Put my ass on that? Absolutely not. I feel sorry for women because you have to sit down. You hover. No, I hover. You hover, yeah. Hold a deep squat. That's the only reason I work out my quads

is so I can hover on public toilets. I actually feel so bad for women. In solidarity, I squat. Thank you so much. Yeah, you do. That actually really helps. So I even just get

a slight aperitif. You're a feminist, aren't you? You bet. He can't name every woman. You bet. But he's a feminist Aren't you You bet He can't name every woman You bet But he's a feminist Whitney Houston And

No she said I am every woman So that's the answer To name every woman Whitney Houston He's got me there With a loophole Yeah

That's called The feminist loophole Brilliant Lots of them She says the French fries Are actually really bad In France They're not really that French Shopping bags cost money called the feminist loop. Lots of them. She says the French fries are actually really bad in France.

They're not really that French. Shopping bags cost money and hot coffee is served in a glass with no handle. That's true. Oh, my God. That's like. That's true. That's bougie, though. That's bougie, yeah. That's how Italians do coffee.

It's nice. She's like, no free water at restaurants. No washcloths. No free water at restaurants. Yeah.cloths. No free water at restaurants. Yeah. Well, a lot of the tourist spots, they'll charge you like $100 a bottle, eh? They'll get you.

Yeah. Anyway, the list goes on, but it's so... Did she bring up the bed sheets one? That's a weird one. You know how they do like a double bed? It'll be two duvets on one bed. Oh, yeah. That's just their way of doing it though, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, she said she doesn't like that large beds are just two small beds pushed together. Long flat pillows. Not into it.

No free hotel breakfast. Sometimes. Sometimes. Although, having been to America and having a free hotel breakfast they're terrible. Oh, yeah, they're junk.

Yeah. She doesn't like that the comforters are always in like a cupboard. The duvets. Yeah. She's like, why the comforters are always in, like, a cupboard. They do, babe. Yeah. She's like, why don't you put it on the bat?

It's like, because you're in Europe, Paul, and it's hot. Yeah, you're in Europe. Like, calm down. Grab it if you want it. Yeah, grab a light linen sheet and then be done with it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Today, the 7th of November, 47 days, 16 hours and 41 minutes until Christmas.

How many paydays is that now? Oh, same. Three? Oh yeah, did we have one? One less, we had one on Friday. Right. Elf, the movie, 20 years ago was released. Today, yeah.

Yeah. I can't believe that's 20 years old it was released. Today, yeah. Yeah. I can't believe that's 20 years old. I know. Which means like, when I first saw that, I was like, 10? Oh no, yeah, 20 would be right. The original Santa Claus with Tim Allen, 1994. So next year, that's 30 years. Wow.

Since the original. Santa Claus. Wow. It must be getting close to Christmas if this, oh yeah, if they released a movie 20 years ago today. Now that Halloween's out of the way, a lot of the stores getting rid of the Halloween crap. Thanksgiving now.

And upping Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Sam messaged in saying, pack and save in Wainui is, up the guts with Christmas napkins. So you're moving into your Christmas disposables, your napkins, your paper plates, your paper cups.

Yeah, okay. So your table decorations. And it looks to be under the Pack and Save banner of fruit and veg. So don't confuse it for fruit and veg. That's in the wrong department. They need to sort that out. Hayley said it must be, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

as the decorations are being brought out at the Methvin Motel. The Methvin Motel's getting their decos out. Right, okay. Oh, wow. How does the Methvin Motel do their decorations? OTT. Okay, good. But the same ones they used in the 1990s.

Good. Very tinsel heavy. Yeah, great. The tinsel's like just a string now. in the 1990s. Good. Very tinsel heavy. Yeah, great. The tinsel's like just a string now. It's quite bold. Yeah. Have we heard about the big mall Christmas trees? Any reports of those?

Yes. Actually, that's exactly what I was about to say. Next, Hannah messaged in a photo from the Dunedin Mall, and it's the Christmas tree that goes like one and a half stories up in the foyer bit. Yeah, good, okay. The open bit outside a bed, bath, and table. Yep, they've ditched the beyond. Yeah, good, okay. The open bit, outside of bed, bath and table. Yep.

They've ditched the beyond. Yeah, good. Or is that a different? I think it's a different. Well, they went too close to the sun. Yeah. And because everybody's going to be expecting the beyond and all they're going to get is the table.

And the gap there, so it goes up two stories. Yeah, good. Wilson, big Christmas fan, our friend Wilson. He's not only sent me a video of the first Christmas song Yeah, good. Wilson, big Christmas fan, our friend Wilson. He's not only sent me a video of the first Christmas song to make the EB Games in-store playlist where he works. He said this isn't good. It's already starting to sneak in on the playlist. He's also received an email to book your Santa photo

at Westfield Newmarket today. I'm imagining that's a bougie Santa because that's a bougie mall. Yeah, that's a posh mall. Internationally, if I may, in Anaheim, Michaela has sent in a huge Christmas tree right beside an ice rink, but everybody who's in Anaheim looks to be in shorts and a T-shirt, so one of those sorts of Christmases. And Henry, message from Khao San Road in Thailand.

Oh, I love Khao San Road. He was very together for a minute in Khao San Road at what would have been 10 or 11 o'clock at night in Thailand when he sent this through. It was early this morning. Shit goes down on that road, doesn't it? Jeepers. I don't know why everyone is walking around with balloons,

but they were breathing it in. Also, what does that mean? Don't know. What does it mean? Well, he sent in not only a man who definitely could have been my father-in-law singing with a band live in Khao San Road. Oh, yeah, good stuff. He sent in a Christmas tree on Khao San Road.

And he said, look at this, it's up. It's the sign that it's sneaking in even here at Khao San Road in Bangkok, Thailand. Brilliant. Well, with all that in mind and 47 days away from Christmas. That knows right now Christmas penetration is at... 78%. With all that in mind And 47 days away from Christmas Right now Christmas penetration is at 78% It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas

You know what that means? What? There's someone here to see you Oh no We don't have time for this today We've got to do the Hunger Games Hello Mr Fletcher Mr. Fletcher. Hello, Mr. Fletcher.

What's wrong? What's wrong, Christmas orphans? I don't want to bring the mood down. What's happened? Terrible, terrible news, Mr. Fletcher. What's happened? We've been waiting at Sky City since your live show for that lady who said she was going to adopt us to show up. You know, the one that signed the papers and everything?

All we do is think she's not coming back, Mr. Fletcher. We was out on the street, on Queen Street, waiting for her all that time. She didn't show up. I got sick. I've got pneumonia. Yeah. Right, okay. Yeah. So we didn't, the army didn't

show up. I guess you could say we're back on the market, Mr. Fletcher. You know what that's like, don't you could say we're back on the market, Mr Fletcher. You know what that's like, don't you? You're always back on the market, aren't you? Yeah. I think maybe just... Does nobody want you either? No.

Yeah, why not? Are you riddled with worms and lice and mange? I've got worms, yeah. Have you got nits? I've got terrible nits, brother. Yeah. You should check your... Oh, you'll be all right.

I don't have any, yeah. It all fell out because of the stress of being an orphan. That's it. That'll be it. So, Mr Fletcher, maybe we need to find a new mummy daddy. Or daddy daddy. I'm not a homophobe. I am.

Are you? I was raised in a different time, you see. Yeah. It's not my fault, but I don't think marriage should be between a man and a man. We was raised by Catholics, you see. Strict Catholics. In the orphanage, they told us gay's not good. But, Mr Fletcher, I've been starting to look at the ladies

in a different way myself. Oh, no. No, brother, love me still. Love me still. Well, maybe. Actually, I've just had a revelation. What is that? Maybe my love for you is my sister can overcome some sort of principles

forced on me by an ancient organisation. Well, brother, you're so developed. It's all just happened in a moment. It's like I've put aside thousands of years of indoctrination and just said, actually, you know what? It's my sister and I love her. Do you reckon you could find us a mummy daddy? No.

How do you do it, Mr Fletcher? We're a bit busy at the moment. We're a bit busy. How do you face rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection? Just keep going. Look at you. You keep going every day. Now we need a mummy and daddy who'll be happy to have an old-fashioned young boy and a gay

young woman. I'm coming around. I'm quite progressive now. Yeah. Meh. Or I'll talk with someone close to me. Get back on the street. Good luck.

Back on the street? Oh, no. God, you're a mean one, Mr. Fletcher. Grumpy Mr. Fletcher. Play ZM's Fletchvorna Naley. Play ZM. Is it just the time of year in which the number of affairs and cheating goes up?

Because of like Christmas. Because of work Christmas parties. Work Christmas parties. Booze goes up. People get a little bit schlopping around the office. Well, I read an article that has sparked an idea for the anonymous phoner. Where you call anonymously or text anonymously. And share your side of the story.

Now, the article was about a woman who knows her boyfriend continuously cheats on her. Continually. Yeah. Cheats on her. That's not good. And she can't quite bring herself to dump him. They've got this.

Why not? I know, they've got a few things on. It's busy. Also, like, they've got a few things on. Like, trying to find a new flat this time of year. They're supposed to be getting married soon. What? And she's like, hot guy calling that whole thing off.

No. I'm sorry. Call it off. No, that's silly. You're being silly. Yeah. She said, she's cheated on me twice to my knowledge. My knowledge?

With another girl. When I caught him the first time, he said he was sorry, cut all ties, but then he slept with her again a couple of weeks ago. And I know it. I'm not sure if he's been sleeping with her the whole time or not, or that it was just a little slippity-dippity. Right. Now, it was a bit of a, I can ask me anything.

But this is what I want to know is, are you putting off breaking up with someone? As we speak, are you going, I know I'm not going to be with this person for much longer. I'm just putting it off. But it's easier to wait until after the things we've got at New Year's. Yeah, we've booked flights to Europe. We've got a wedding or we've got a holiday. And also, I don't want to find a new flat now.

Yeah. It'll be easier in the new year. Yeah. Basically, for whatever reason. No one is find a new flat now. Yeah. It'll be easier in the new year. Yeah. Basically, for whatever reason. No one is going to admit to that. Yeah. Well, I think they will. I think they might.

It's anonymous. Anonymous. Okay. Anonymous. So are you, do you know deep down that this relationship you're in now is not going to last? But for some reason, and that's the thing we want to know, you are holding off or putting off dumping them. I want to know why people are putting it off.

Yes, say it. Is there an event coming up? Is it Christmas? Too hard basket. Is it New Year's? One last present. The rental market, I want one last present. One last present. Is it too hard to get a new flat? Yeah. Is that why you're putting off?

The market's low. You can't be bothered selling your house. Oh my God. Imagine if someone's like, I'm waiting till I'm with them for more than two years so I can get half of everything. I'm going to take half your money. Maybe.

Anonymously, no judgment. That is part of the clause in the anonymous phone contract. No judgment. 0800 dials at M, call us anonymously or text through 9696. Are you holding off dumping someone? And we want to know why. What's holding

you back? I just don't know. What's holding you back? They'll do it. Oh yeah. I'm sorry. Is it happening? There's a message. Is it happening? There's a message. Is it happening? The message has just started. Okay, it's started.

Okay, it's started. I'm excited. Oh my God, the reason is so funny. It's the impossible phone-in topic. No. No, the anonymous phone-in topic. Which is like the impossible phone-in topic, but this is anonymous.

No names. No names. No judgment. We want to know if you are currently holding off or putting off dumping someone, but you know you're going to do it, but you're just like, I can't right now, now's not the right time. Producer Shannon said she knew someone that did this and went on a holiday. Yeah, she had flights, accommodation, everything booked,

and she was like, it's done, but we can't get a refund. And she's like, I'll just go on the trip, have a bit of fun and come home and it's over. And then she dumped him. Yep, she did it. And like she told all of us girlies knew, this was years ago. And yeah, she just went on the trip, had some fun, came home

and dumped him maybe three days later. Three days? Yeah, well she had already made the decision. She was no reason to. Yeah. Goodness me. No reason to. Unpack. I mean, if you're going to go to Europe and have a little rompty pompty, why not, you know? Exactly.

Hip ass on tap. There are so many messages. People are currently some text messages in. And a holding pattern. Yeah. I've been with them for 14 years but I need his board monies. I just bought a house

on my own and I don't want to be on noodles and bread. Now, if you've been with someone for 14 years, wouldn't they be entitled to half that house anyway? Mm-hmm.

You might have an agreement. A prenup. Well, as long as it is an actual proper prenup. Otherwise, they're taking half of that. Yeah, your word means nothing

in the court of law. What year did Gold Digger by Kanye come out? Because that really boosted the amount of we want prenup, we want prenup.

Yeah, that was when that came out. That really boosted prenups. That was 2005. So yeah, nearly 18 years ago they'd been together

15, 14. So yeah, probably had a prenup. Probably got a prenup. Probably got a prenup. Board money. Somebody else said because she's pregnant.

Oh. You can do it on your own. I'm putting off breaking up with my boyfriend of, I'm not going to say a specific amount of years, but it's a long time. Okay. Because I feel like that's an identifying feature. Yes. And this is the anonymous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Phone in. Topic. I'm putting off breaking up with my boyfriend of a considerable length because I want a second child I plan to leave afterwards After the baby is born Or even during the pregnancy

So you want your kids To be full siblings Yeah Wow One baby daddy Versus two right Maybe he's really handsome And maybe your first kid's

Really gorgeous Yeah I want another one of these ones I'm making nice kids For them We're making nice kids I'm waiting for my new girl To be girlfriend material before dumping my old one. Whoa, you.

I said no judgment. Wow. Okay, wow. People have missed the best day to break up. It's always the first of November. Is it? Is it? I don't know why that is.

Six days later is fine. It's a difference. Yeah. Well, you get one last guy forks together. Yeah. That's what it's all about Okay true Yeah

Not me but my friend Is putting off Breaking up with his girlfriend Because they have plans To visit her family In the UK for Christmas And he's bringing his mum too They all have flights and stuff

So it's just like Oh my god Now the mum's gonna meet These people The mums are gonna meet What if they bond You're bonding your families together Yeah what if the families bond

Isn't this kind of the time when people do break up because then you get summer? Single? You're single for summer? Single summer, yeah. You're hot and tanned and stuff. He owed me money and I managed it because he's useless with money. Right. So I had to hold off dumping him until I'd managed to pay myself back with his money.

Then I dumped him. Otherwise you're not getting that money back, aren't you? Yeah, that's actually very clever Here's a really considerate one Yes I'm holding off until her exams are finished As I know she's focused on them and I don't want to mess up with that If you're listening and you've got exams And a partner that you're like

Thinking they're not quite into it anymore Definitely not you, you relax You relax, nothing to worry about Get into those exams You concentrate on those exams. Yeah. I'm holding off the divorce of my wife till I transfer the property to my parents. That's just sick.

AK. I'm putting off leaving my husband of 33 years because of all the paperwork involved. What you've got there is an admin situation. Yeah, and you're big on weighing down with the admin. Big on weighing everybody down with the admin. Not sure the grass is greener. It always is.

If you're thinking of leaving the grass, there will be some nice kai kui waiting for you. Yeah, the thing about kai kui is it's a creeper and it will sneak and it doesn't respect a garden edge. And we'll just go straight under that. You're a nice clover. Oh, yeah. A nice clover.

Nice blades of green rye. Yeah, there's beautiful blades. A nice blue rye. Might be in a different town. Is it the fennec? Is that where everybody's growing in the lawns? Yeah, there's beautiful blades. A nice blue rye. Might be in a different town. Is it the fennec? Is that where everybody's growing in the lawns? Yeah, I don't know much grass types. Got to stand up with that thing, though.

You can't let it grow for a few too many weeks. It's hard to get it back down to the level. Prenup agreement. Oh, hold on. Is that our pre-nup person? They're saying the prenup agreement was done. So there you go. Confirmation.

Again, thank you, Kanye. Just a little pre-read here. Yeah. I'm not going to read that one. Not going to read that one. I was with my ex for two years. It took me three months to break up with him. All of my friends were single,

and I just wanted to be single again, and a few things had happened, but he was just so nice, and I couldn't bring myself to break the news for so long. I finally did it on a night that apparently he'd planned a nice big surprise dinner out. So when I did do it, I picked a poor time. You sound like you've dumped a really nice guy there. There's no good time to do it, is there?

No, there really isn't. Imagine if someone texts being like, I want to break up with her, but I know she's really busy at the moment. She gets up at four every morning to entertain the nation and we've got a renovation on the go and it's just not the right time. But as soon as Christmas is out of the way, I'm like...

As soon as the house is finished. As soon as the house is finished. Yeah. I'm ready to go. That could be anybody. She keeps talking about this famous celebrity and I'm just like, well, why don't you just have him then?

Yeah, that could be anybody. That could be anyone, honestly. Yeah. That's so anyone. Yeah. She's just recently gone blonde and I'm just waiting for her to really settle into it and so she can find a new partner. Yeah.

Again, could be anybody. Could be anyone. It's Movember at the moment, which means a lot of people who don't usually have facial hair are growing the facial hair. And all for charity. It's all for a good cause. Yeah. Fletch, I can see how when you get a shadow,

you grow a good beard. I could, yeah. It gets real itchy. You're not into it. You've got to power through the itch, and then it doesn't itch. Vaughn, your beard is honestly a phenomenal masterpiece. Thank you.

It's a bit bushy at the moment, though, isn't it? It is. It needs a trim. You reckon? Oh, my God, you see you. It's a bit bushy at the moment, though, isn't it? It is. It needs a trim. You reckon? Oh, my God, you should see Aaron. It's getting so long. I made him trim his lip yesterday so I could give him a little fresh kiss. A little smooch on the lip.

Yeah, rather than sort of having to part the bloody seas, you know, to get in there. Well, a doctor, and I will say it's a tick-toctor. A tick-toctor. As I like to call them, a tick-toctor. Imagine if you went to the doctors and they were like, the doctor will be with you soon and then you wait. How long are you waiting for the doctor?

Yeah. A thousand hours? And you're like, I'm the first client of the day, how are we so late? It's 20 past nine and I had a 10 to nine appointment. How is this possible? You know that if you say this in front of our friend, Dr. Shawnee, he'll absolutely go you.

Yeah. Because they're very busy. Mucking around back there doing God knows what. And then you get in and they've got a ring light set up and they're doing the TikTok. I think you're going to mean like halfway through your consultation, they turn on the ring light and they're just like, five signs, this guy's got cancer.

Yeah. And then I'd be like, this is not how you tell me. This is terrible, Berto. This is not how you tell me at cancer. Yeah. And then I'd be like, this is not how you tell him. This is terrible bedside manner. This is how you tell me at all. Yeah. Well, if this is a war, it's sort of a warning for,

for people kissing the bearded. Individual. From a doctor. And a warning from a tick doctor for individuals with a beard. Okay. Because there was a chick who'd shared on check. Okay. I'm using that word again. I guess there was a chickie shared, not chick, okay, I'm using that word again,

I guess. There was a chickie who shared online that shared. Is this a chickie babe or a chickie doll? A chickie doll. A chickie doll. This chickie doll shared online that she'd made out with a guy with a beard and she got full pass rash and it got infected. Ooh.

Wouldn't you be more likely to get pass rash from someone with stubble than a beard? Yes. So they found that people with beards tend to have less bacteria on their face than people with

just a stubble. Are you telling me you'd get more bacteria from this face right now, Hayley Sproul, than that? You'd still see a bit of porridge from this morning. Porridge? It must be from yesterday. Yesterday's porridge. Yeah. And a little bit of meat juice from last night's dinner.

Well, you've got to keep the beard clean, whereas some men, and I'm not saying you, and I know you use face wash, because I use your face wash when I have a shower at your house. Now, some men don't bother washing their face. They've got an oily face, and they just sort of leave it there. And then if you've got a bit of stubble, you're more likely when you're pashing

to be causing tiny micro cuts on the receiver's face. And then infecting those cuts. And then infecting them with your manky germs and stuff. But also the warning to the people receiving the pash from the stubbled person is like, don't go touching your face. Like you've got to give your face a bit of a clean afterwards. Right.

Because you will have all these little micro cuts. And if you get bacteria into those micro cuts, you get these gnarly pash rash infections. And they can go grotty. Yeah. Have you ever had pash rash? No. Probably when I was younger.

I don't get it from Aaron because his beard's so long. Yeah. It's soft and delicious, isn't it? Yeah, it is. But God, it houses a lot of food sometimes. It's a constant washing game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So if you're getting a pash from a bearded or a stubbled person, you know, wash your face afterwards. And if you are a stubbled person, you also wash your face. Just be, just wash. You're asking people to just wash and be clean. And it's rich coming from me, a woman who has to make two showers a week. Can I just quickly say thank you to our Waikato listeners hanging in there apparently every time the traffic report plays and then it just goes into this

airy silence. Oh, airy silence. There's some sort of local issue. Okay. My father's cows are grazing. His yearlings are grazing at the base of the Mount Ururu transmission tower. You reckon they could have knocked it over? I will get them to check what's going on. Okay.

Apparently that issue has been resolved. It has been resolved. Stay tuned. Thank you for sticking with us. Stay tuned. Yeah, thank you. Waikato and tell us if it truly has. Indeed.

Well, this is from a while ago, but now there's like this ongoing trend of people sharing their overseas trips for cosmetic surgery. And this started with a couple that went wrong. They went to Turkey to get veneers and they did the full shave your teeth down to nubs and then get the crowns put on top. And then theirs all went wrong.

They called it a blood bath. They weren't sedated properly. Oh God. They started to get infections in their mouths. It all went to crap. They were in Turkey for a week. A New Zealand couple that went there. Yeah.

And then they couldn't. and when they came back, they just had to get them all removed and done properly. Yeah. I saw a picture, and I just assumed, like, American or Australian. Well, there's, like, multiple people that have shared stories going, we did this too, it was horrendous. Because I feel like back in the day, it used to be, like, Thailand or Bali that were the it places to go.

Yeah, Thailand was your mummy makeovers, your tummy tucks and your titty lifts and all that kind of stuff. And just straight up breast implants. Yeah. Thailand was big for that. And now it's Turkey. You'd go and have a week on the beach and check in again on the way back through Bangkok to make sure it was all honky dory.

Yeah. Turkey as well for like a lot of people getting hair implants. So people are sharing as well. My barber told me that. Yeah. When you go on the plane home from Turkey, there's all these men with bandages on the raptor on their head and big red dots

and stuff from their transplants and whatnot. Apparently the turkey's the place to go for hair transplants. It would just be so weird if you came to work one day and you just said it's too far gone, I'm too far gone. What's happening? One too cheap. Show me how much is gone. What's happening? But even then. I'm too cheap.

Yeah. How much is it going to cost? Show me how much is it costing? Yeah, I could do something else with that. I think if you were going to do it, it would have been years ago, like before you fully just like resolved to it. Oh, when I was 22 and losing my hearing on $30,000 a year, it just wasn't one of my spending priorities, you know.

No. Flying off to Turkey and getting. Yeah. To be honest, in 2004, I don't know if Turkey would have been the place to go. Yeah. I think this is a recent hair transplant situation.

Anyway, it's a real trend, right? Because even if you look at cosmetic procedures in New Zealand, not that I've Googled them, I have. Okay.

I've just noticed they're dropping at a rapid rate. Okay. They're resting on the table as we speak. Oh, those are dropping. I think you meant

the prices are dropping. No, no, no, my breasts. Okay, yeah. But the prices in New Zealand to get like a great, qualified, verified doctor who will do a surgery of the cosmetic nature, it's bloody expensive. So I totally understand why people who get these procedures done are looking for a cheaper alternative.

I want to know. If you had to get one done, what would you get done? Breast lift. What would you get done? Breast lift. You get a breast lift. What would you get? No, I wouldn't get it.

I wouldn't. No, I know, but you have to. You have to. It's sore 12 or whatever they're up to. It goes to my head. And the little jigsaw dude is like, you've got to get a cosmetic surgery. You have to change one thing about your body.

It will be perfectly safe. I don't know. It will be perfectly safe. I, it will be perfectly safe. I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Oh, don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that.

We're not doing that. We're not playing. No, no, no, no. I'm just looking at him. He's honestly perfect. He's a perfect boy. It's gone, gone. What about, can I get a foot reduction?

Because, you know, size 12 shoes are always ridiculous. Get your toes shaved down. That would be a balance. That's going to affect your balance because you've grown used shoes are always ridiculous. Get your toes shaved down. Yeah, but I reckon that would be a balance. Then I'd be off balance. You've grown used to that. Must be nice, eh? Must be nice. I don't think you could walk at the pace you walk with a shorter foot.

I'm like Vaughn. I'm too tight-arsed. I just wouldn't spend the money. I'll just age. I don't care. What are you getting, Vaughn? I'm the same. I don't know.

But if I had a gun to my head... I'd get my foot... Widened. No, no, thinned. Thinned. Because you've got a fat foot. Because I just spent all my childhood in bare feet. So I'm chucked out as a no-go. Flat, broad feet.

Yeah, right. You'd get a foot tuck. Yeah, a foot tuck. Maybe an arch. Maybe more of a prominent arch. Oh, okay. Yeah, Okay. Yeah, that's good. Maybe an arch. Maybe more of a prominent arch. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Right.

Wow. This is what I want to know is did you go overseas for cosmetic surgery? So take the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh, that was my question. Do you just want the bad stories? Because I don't. You know what? I think we should for balance because I don't want to, you know,

yuck someone's yum and say that it's a terrible idea. I'm sure there are great places to get cosmetic surgery done overseas. Yeah. Do your research would be my only. Yeah, I know. That's the thing. Don't just go for cheap. You've got to do your research.

But maybe you've had a fantastic experience and you could, you know, flip me a phone number. I would love to. I've just sort of noticed this. It's really like, it's just in the last six months in particular. Okay, yeah. Far out, man. 0800 DALSATM, give us a call.

What are you looking down there for? What are you looking down there? I'm not looking anywhere. 0800 DALSATM is on... No, I'm talking to my tits. What are you looking down there for? Look up. Give us a call.

You can text her as well, 9696. We want to know if you've gone overseas for a procedure. Yeah, a close-knit surgery. What was it? Did it go well? Or were you like these couples that are getting these botched treatments? Yeah. Can you imagine how terrible?

On the flight back, they hurt. But, you know, we've just had Vanessa. And then you get back and you're like, I'm going to go to a dentist and ask. And you go and the dentist is like, what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? Yeah. Okay, the good or the bad.

0800-DARLES-AT-M. Give us a call. Have you had a procedure overseas? Okay, some texts are coming in already. The look on your face. We'll get to those next. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Can I just quickly say thank you to our Waikato listeners hanging in there apparently every time the traffic report plays and then it just goes into this airy silence. Oh, okay. It's an airy silence. Oh, okay. It's an airy silence. There's some sort of local issue. Okay. My father's cows are grazing.

His yearlings are grazing at the base of the Mount Ururu transmission tower. You reckon they could have knocked it over? I will get them to check what's going on. Okay. Oh, apparently that issue has been resolved. It has been resolved. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. Yeah, thank you. Waikato and tell us if it truly has been resolved. It has been resolved. Stay tuned. Thank you for sticking with us. Stay tuned.

Yeah, thank you. Waikato and tell us if it truly has. Indeed. Well, this is from a while ago, but now there's like this ongoing trend of people sharing their overseas trips for cosmetic surgery. And this started with a couple that went wrong. They went to Turkey to get veneers,

and they did the full shave your teeth down to nubs and then get the crowns put on top. And then theirs all went wrong. They called it a blood bath. They weren't sedated properly. Oh, God. They started to get infections in their mouths. It all went to crap.

They were in Turkey for a week. A New Zealand couple that went there. Yeah, and then they couldn't, and when they came back, they just had to get them all removed and done properly. Yeah. I saw a picture, and I just assumed like American or Australian. Well, there's like multiple people that have shared stories going, we did this too, it was horrendous.

Because I feel like back in the day, it used to be like Thailand or Bali that were the it places to go. Your Thailand was your mummy makeovers, your tummy tucks, and your titty lifts and all that kind of stuff. And just straight up breast implants.. Your Thailand was your mummy makeovers, your tummy tucks and your titty lifts and all that kind of stuff. And just straight up breast implants. Yeah. Thailand was big for that.

And now it's Turkey. You'd go and have a week on the beach and check in again on the way back through Bangkok to make sure it was all honky dory. Yeah. Turkey as well for like a lot of people getting hair implants. Hair implants. My barber told me that.

Yeah. When you go on the plane home from Turkey, there's all these men with like bandages on the raptor and their head and big red dots and stuff from their transplants and whatnot. Apparently the Turkey's

the place to go for hair transplants. Really? See I just, it would just be so weird if you came to work one day and you just said it's too far gone,

I'm too far gone. What's happening? But even then. But you're too cheap. Yeah. How much is it? Show me how much is it disgusting? Yeah how much is it.

Yeah, I could do something else with that. I think if you were going to do it, it would have been years ago, like before you fully just like resolved to it. Oh, when I was 22 and losing my hair in on $30,000 a year, it just wasn't one of my spending priorities, you know. Flying off to Turkey and getting... Yeah, to be honest, in 2004, I don't know if Turkey would have been the place to go.

Yeah. I think this is a recent hair transplant situation. It's a real trend, right? Even if you look at cosmetic procedures in New Zealand, not that I've googled them. I have. I've just noticed they're dropping at a rapid rate. They're resting on the

table as we speak. Oh, those are dropping. I think you meant the prices are dropping. No, my breasts. But the prices in New Zealand to get like a great, qualified, verified doctor who will do a surgery of the cosmetic nature, it's bloody expensive. So I totally understand why people who get these procedures done are looking for a cheaper alternative. I want to know.

If you had to get one done, what would you get done? Breast lift. What would you get done? Breast lift. You can breast lift. What would you get? No, what would you get done? Breast lift. What would you get done? Breast lift. You get breast lift. What would you get? No, I wouldn't get it. I wouldn't.

No, no, but you have to. You have to. It's sore 12 or whatever they're up to. And the little jigsaw dude is like, you've got to get a cosmetic surgery. You have to change one thing about your body. It will be perfectly safe. No, I don't know. It will be perfectly safe.

I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Oh, don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. We will be perfectly safe. I don't know. Why don't you tell me? No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. We're not playing. I'm just looking at him. He's honestly perfect. He's a perfect boy. It's gone, gone. What about, can I get a foot reduction? Because, you know, size 12

shoes are always ridiculous. Yeah, but I reckon that would be a balance. That's going to affect your balance because you've grown used to that. Must be nice, eh that would be a balance. Then I'd be off balance. You've grown used to that. Must be nice, eh? Must be nice. I don't think you could walk at the pace you walk with a shorter foot. I'm like Vaughn.

I'm too tight-arsed. I just wouldn't spend the money. I'll just age. I don't care. What are you getting, Vaughn? I'm the same. I don't know. But if I had a gun to my head, I'd get my foot widened. No, no, thinned.

Because you've got a fat foot. Because I just spent all my childhood in bare feet. Chucked out as a no-go. Flat, broad feet. Yeah, right. You get a foot tuck. Yeah. Maybe an arch. Maybe more of a prominent arch in the foot. Oh, okay.

Right, wow. This is what I want to know is did you go overseas for cosmetic surgery? So take the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh, that was my question. Do you just want the bad stories? You know what? I think we should for balance because I don't want to, you know, yuck someone's yum and say that it's a terrible idea.

I'm sure there are great places to get cosmetic surgery done overseas. Do your research would be my only. Yeah, I know. That's the thing. Don't just go for cheap. You've got to do your research. But maybe you've had a fantastic experience and you could, you know, flip me a phone number.

I would love to. I've just sort of noticed this is really like, it's just in the last like six months in particular. Okay, yeah. Far out, man. 0800 DALSATM. Give us a call. What are you looking down there for?

What are you looking down there? I'm not looking anywhere. 0800 DALSATM. No, I M. Give us a call. What are you looking down there for? What are you looking down there? I'm not looking anywhere. 0800 Dials at M is on... No, I'm talking to my tits. What are you looking down there for? Look up. Give us a call. You can text her as well.

9696. We want to know if you've gone overseas for a procedure. Yeah, a close-knit surgery. What was it? Did it go well? Or were you like these couples

that are getting these botched treatments? Yeah. Can you imagine how terrible? On the flight back, they hurt. But, you know, we've just had Vanessa. And then you get back and you're like, I'm going to go to a dentist and ask. And you go and the dentist is like, what have you done?

What have you done? What have you done? Yeah. Okay, the good or the bad. 0800-DANCE-AT-HEM. Give us a call. Have you had a procedure overseas? Okay, some texts are coming in already.

The look on your face. Have you been overseas for a procedure overseas? Okay, some texts are coming in already, the look on your face. Have you been overseas for a cosmetic procedure? And I'll say, we're neither here nor there. We're simply asking the question. No, we were just talking about it off air that I was like, oh, at this time in my life, I actually probably wouldn't do it. But who am I to say I wouldn't do it later? You know?

The good and the bad stories. The good and the bad. And they are both coming in. You've got a real mixed bag here. Someone said, Hayley, right here in Hamilton, I got a full mummy makeover. $13,000 last year. He does Thailand prices.

Now, what you don't want to hear in a sentence is Hamilton and Thailand prices. As someone from the area. Or someone suggesting I get a mummy makeover and I haven't had a child once. And I mean, you love Thailand, so... I do love Thailand. You can get a Thailand or you go to Hamilton, get it done and spend a week, what, relaxing in Cambridge?

Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful, yeah. You do drink as much as a mum, though. Yeah, I do. I know a lot of mums that you'd actually drink under the table. Well done. Margaret, you are a dentist and you see a lot of mums that you'd actually drink under the table. Well done. Margaret, you are a dentist and you see a lot of this. Yes, I do.

I'm probably biased that I only really see the bad stuff because that's when they come to us. Get it fixed. Yeah, exactly. Do you ever see someone, Margaret, and you're like, oh, okay, and you check the x-ray and then you look at their mouth and you're like, something's changed here, and then they admit that they've had it done?

Sometimes. Sometimes people are quite upfront. They'll come in and they'll straightaway go, oh, yeah, I've just been and had this done. Right. So where do you see the most damaging work from? Is it Turkey? Is it Bali?

Is it Thailand? It's all over the place. Thailand's a big one, I think, because it's quite close. My own brother went and got stuff done in Thailand and ended up having to come to me to get some of it fixed up. Wait, you didn't cut him a deal from the start? Surely you could have done him a deal. Surely you could have done him a deal.

Oh, he ended up getting a great deal out of it because I didn't charge him. But he was there on holiday and decided to get some things fixed up, and it didn't quite go to plan. Oh my, were you just like, what were you thinking? Yes, and that's been the recurrent sentence from me, is what were you thinking? Yeah. All fixed up now, though.

So what are the biggest problems you have to deal with people coming back? Is it veneers? Is it fillings? What is it? It's really really mixed bag. Some things are easier to fix up than others. You know, if people have just got fillings, then sometimes you can get it replaced

and it's no worries. The things that really suck is when people get big infections. Infections around implants and around teeth. That's often an expensive fix by the time you're getting it sorted back in New Zealand. And sometimes we're limited on what options we can do for those teeth because they've had a lot of work done.

Oh, yeah. Wow. I have because I've been to Thailand quite a few times and every now and then you go, oh, we hear about the dental work, maybe we should get a couple of things done and we'd never do it because you don't want to spoil your holiday. Yeah, you don't want to be out. With sore teeth.

That was when we were in Bali. I was thinking about getting my tooth checked and I was like, I could be out for a dinner, but that's bintang time. Yeah, man, I just want some bloody delicious food on the cheap. Margaret, amazing. Thank you for sharing. Thanks for calling, Margaret.

Some messages in. Root Canal and Crown in Bangkok quoted $2,500 here six years ago. Cost me $1,000 over there, including a clean, a filling replaced, another filling, and a preventative treatment of a future crack in the molar. Brilliant work. No problems. Lots of foreigners there, including Kiwis, Americans and Canadians who would go back

again, had a holiday as well for the same price I was quoted as here. Yeah. And that's something you've got to do your research. Like some of the places are very legit and very nice. Look at this. Fresh off the plane. I just rode back from Thailand last Friday. I got a gastric sleeve, half the price of New Zealand and I got a holiday.

Wow. When do you holiday? Also, are you allowed to just, if it's the end of your holiday, like you hit the ground running, baby. I'm talking going to MBK and just been like, I will eat that, that, that, that.

Soft shell crab. But the gastric sleeve, you can't eat. And get the sleeve. And then get the sleeve at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the sleeve at the end of the holiday.

Because then you can't eat, you only eat baby food. Yeah, what a waste getting that done at the start. You do it at the end. There's so much to eat in Thailand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the sleeve at the end of the holiday. Because then you can't eat, you only eat baby food. Yeah, what a waste getting that done at the start. You do it at the end. There's so much to eat in Thailand. Yeah, yeah, there is. Yum.

I had a lift and implants in New Zealand after I lost 63 kgs. Holy. Oh, congratulations. Bravo. Good on you. Cost me $39,000. Jesus, you see why people are looking for cheaper alternatives. Oh my God, yeah.

And that would have been, you would need that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Because you have so much loose skin and you'd want to fix it. And then... It's like, well, if you're going to remove the loose skin, you might as well put something in it.

So then, yeah, it's getting expensive. Here's the two sides of the Tijuana, Mexico coin. One. Having only been to Tijuana, walking across the border and walking back, there's no way I'd get a procedure done there. Oh, really? I went to Mexico for a gastric bypass, best thing I'd ever did.

Great holiday at Disneyland and then a week in Tijuana, all up, total cost $20,000, just the operation here starts at $25,000. Now that sounds good, let me flick the coin and tell you. On the other side. I know someone that went to Tijuana, Mexico to get a stomach staple. When

they came back, they later died because there was a leak and it was unknown to theijuana, Mexico to get a stomach staple. When they came back, they later died because there was a leak and it was unknown to the doctors in Mexico. And then by the time it was dealt with here, it was too late. Wow. Okay. Someone texts us while above that, that they just got back seven weeks ago from a sleeve in Tijuana. Great.

Wouldn't, you know, hesitate to do it again. Yeah. So it's either going to go well or you're going to die. Yeah. But then you're going to die well or you're going to die. Yeah. But then you're going to die one day anyway. Oh, my God. Is that you to live your life? Yeah, but you just paid all that money for that surgery.

You want to get a little bit of... You're looking hot. You get out there and show them around. Yeah, I can see why people are like, why not when it's so expensive here? Yeah. You would, wouldn't you? I would.

Another dentist agrees with Margaret. I see a lot of good, but I see more bad. It ends up costing you so much more to get the problems fixed when you come back. And obviously you can't go back to the dentist that did it. Someone who is so stubborn like you, Vaughn, would you go to a dentist and admit you went overseas to get bad dental work? Or would you just have pain for the rest of your life? Pain for the rest of my life. Yeah.

Because you couldn't admit that you... Pain for the rest of my life, sir. Pain for the rest of my life. Pain for the rest of my life. Yeah. Because you couldn't admit that you... Pain for the rest of my life, sir. Pain for the rest of my life. I love this My Friend Living in Europe one. That's straight up not true. My friend living in Europe heard of someone who had a hair transplant in Turkey. And while under, they removed a kidney

and part of her liver through her vagina so she wouldn't notice. Now, now, now, now. So they went through the uterus. No, now, now, now. So then we throw the uterus through. No, it's not even a channel. The vagina's just like a zip into a purse. Once you open it, you can grab anything out. Yeah, it's a secret lining, isn't it?

Yeah, go up far enough, you can get a heart. You can't get into the vagina that way. Yes, you can. I know a lot about vaginas, and they're just basically the zip on a purse. Through the cervix to the uterus, and then that's it. That's the end of the road. Take your pick. You're talking about the anus. Through the cervix to the uterus and then that's it. That's the end of the road. Take your pick. You're talking about the anus.

Or the organ. You might be right actually. The anus is the open door to the entire internal. Oh my God. You can't repeat that story. I heard a story that someone had their kidney

and liver removed through their vagina so there were no scars. That's not true. I love it. Sorry, Hon. That's not a true story. That's not a true story.

My friend living in Europe heard of someone who had had. No, yeah, no. You've got too many steps there. I heard on the radio that someone had heard that their friend had heard that someone went to Turkey and got their kidney removed through their vagina. I heard on the radio that if you just open the butthole, you can grab any organ you want. You can literally, if you can just stretch it out enough,

you can get in there and grab whatever you want. It's a free-for-all. Unbelievable. Yeah. I went to Bangkok for a mummy makeover. Why are we calling them mummy makeovers? Because after you had the baby and you got stretched. Well, no, someone messaged in.

They got their boobs done in Sydney. And that was 10 years and three children ago. And they still look fab, so it was money well spent. Oh, good. Okay. I recently had a holiday in Vietnam to get my teeth done. I had two bridges done. Seems to have gone well.

Seems to have gone well. I like the person who texts in the middle of this that the Wellington Regional Kuru Lounge is closed. Not what we're talking about. They said there's a small plane waiting yet the lounge isn't open. No lounge. Right, okay. I mean everybody's facing their own issues. Maybe they're catching a small plane from Wellington to somewhere else

to get on a flight to Turkey to get their hair transplant. Yeah, and they just want it to be in comfort. Yeah. I went to Bangkok for Mummy Makeover. I had the most amazing time. There's companies that do it. And you can read the reviews all around the world and then their reviews of the people they use when they get there.

That's the thing you've got to check. What are they called? But the cosmetic companies that do these from New Zealand often add a bit of a premium as well, so that's why I think people circumvent those kind of companies. Yeah, totally. Because they're like, well, I can still go cheaper if I just go straight. Get all the recommendations, get a quote

and just go straight to them. Yeah. It's like when you find a good place to stay through an accommodation website and then you just ring the hotel directly and you're like, I'm about to book it off this, would you prefer I went straight through you for the same price or maybe less? God, he's a hustler or something. Someone just texted and said,

I'm a nurse, couldn't pay me enough money in the world to go overseas for surgery. F that. What about a billion dollars? I'll go. What do you want me to get done? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey.

Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about the albatross. Because it's bird week here. Because you can vote at birdoftheyear.org.nz for your favourite bird. Okay. God, I love the albatross. What a bird. The wingspan.

The wingspan on this guy. Up to 3.7 metres long. That's wild. I went to the albatross sanctuary in Dunedin. So good. Yeah. Does it stink? I don't believe it's pronounced like that. I think it's Dun-a-doon.

Dun-a-doon. Dun-a-dee. I think I was saying Dun-i-doon. Dun-i-doon. So yeah, that's one of the nesting spots of the Albatross, just out of Dunedin. Beautiful spot. And they're clumsy, and it's real funny when the wind's blowing

and they're trying to learn to fly, and they're just like rolling down the hill. So I've got a few things about the albatross. Okay. The albatross. And the whales, they are my brothers. That's a terrible reference to a lyric that no one will know. I've got absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

Is it a sea shanty? It's so old. Sea shanty? She's going on about her sea shanties again. Yeah, she's on her sea shanty bus. Because I got my albatross fact that I'm going to get to. Okay. But then I was like, why is it called the albatross?

It's one of those names you never question. It's named after Jessica Alba. Yes. You can fit one Jessica Alba on each wing. And tross. Unos dross albatross. Albatross. Albatross.

One Jessica Alba on each wing. You can fit tross albers On the Albatross Tross Uno Tross Tres Cuatro Cinco

Cinco Si Please don't mess up The Spanish language I wouldn't So Albatross Is derived From an Arabic word

Al-Qaeda Which I know Treads a little closer To the sun Al-Qaeda Which means The diver Which is what The Arabic term For pelican was Al-Qaeda, which I know treads a little closer to the sun, doesn't it? Al-Qaeda, which means the diver, which is what the Arabic term for pelican was.

Oh, okay. Which then travelled to English via Portuguese, and the Portuguese used the word Alcatraz for the island, for the gannet. And the reason Alcatraz, the island in San Francisco, is called that is because it was a gannet colony like we've got in West Auckland. Right. Wow, okay. Motowai Beach and down Hawke's Bay. as the island in San Francisco is called that is because it was a gannet colony like we've got in West Auckland.

Right. At Motowai Beach and down Hawke's Bay on the cliffs of Hawke's Bay. We went to that one. Stunk. Smelly, man. Smelly. The kids are always like, can we go up when we go to Motowai? Can we go up and have a look? I'm like, do you remember what it smelled like last time?

And I don't even know if they're home. Do they stink? Dude. Well, there's that many birds in one spot. Oh, God. Did you ever smell a chicken shed When they open the doors Yes That but

A little bit wild So then It travelled from Alcatraz To Albatross Because of Albus In Latin meaning white Because it was a whiter bird

Okay so Albatross Nothing to do with Jessica Alba at all Zero to do with Jessica Alba Incredible Her whole life has been a lie I know It's insane And it turns out You can't even foot Tross Alba at all. Zero to do with Jessica Alba. Incredible. Her whole life has been a lie. I know. It's insane.

And it turns out you can't even foot Tross Alba's on there. What? It's unbelievable. It couldn't even carry Uno Alba. Not,

but certainly not Tross. Certainly not Tross Alba. So that's why it's called an Albatross. Right. Here's today's fact of the day. Global warming is leading to higher rates

of Albatross divorce. Oh no. Oh, no. See, this sounds familiar. Research has discovered with unusually warm water temperatures, divorce rates soared between 1% and 3% because they stay together forever, by the way, the albatross. Mate for life. Mate for life.

For life. For life until one dies. Boring. To as high as 8%, which is very high for them, but nowhere nearly as bad as humans, which are currently sitting at about 40%. No, we're 51% divorce. No, that's a misnomer.

You're the minority. No, that's because they take the amount of weddings that happen a year and then take the amount of divorces, but all of the divorces are from previous years included, so it only compares to the modern year. Ah, yeah, got you. So it's not quite, but 40% of marriages end in separation or divorce in humans, up to 8%.

Because increasingly warmer waters in the poles mean less fish and nutrients for the albatross to consume during foraging trips, in turn forcing the birds to travel farther to find food. I would say. Oh my God, and then they cheat with another albatross. The longer journeys Which can span up to

3000 kilometres or more May be critical for survival But they don't always Bode well for the relationship Wow They can trigger stress hormones That interfere with mating And leave birds

With less energy To raise chicks When breeding is successful Oh my god So when they come home You're like Shall we? They're working

I'm too tired They're working harder They're working longer for less They're away The stress involved in that They're tired When they get too tired. They're working harder. They're working longer for less. They're away. The stress involved in that. They're tired when they get home. They've got the stress of raising children. And it affects just like us.

Yeah. Just like us. You and me, baby, ain't nothing but. Albatross. Albatrosses. Yeah. Albatrosses. So today's fact of the day is global warming.

Warmer seas. Bad for the albatross marriage rate. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You know me, I've said it many times before. Doop-doop. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. You know me, I've said it many times before, I collect friends. I don't shed friends, I just keep collecting them. You're a collector. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the last time I shed a friend.

This is what we're talking about because apparently people are doing it. Later they're getting in life, they're just shedding friends, which I've always known happens, right? You get your own family, your own life, things get busy, you move away. But apparently the pandemic has really contributed to this. Just what made people kind of do a tank of their friends and realise they're not really worth my time. Yeah, and now people are stuck in what they're calling

a midlife friendship drought, where they might have done it so much that they're actually like, oh no, I got rid of too many. And you can't go crawling back to someone you've dumped as a friend. They sort of let them slip too far. It's like when a friend breaks up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and then wants to hang out more. You're like,

no. Interesting. Interesting. Because I definitely have friends, like some of my closest friends I don't talk to that much, which is very normal as an adult. But my love and connection to them doesn't wane. Like you might catch up with them six months later and it's just like you've been...

Yeah, there's no need for constant... Yeah, I like that. ...natter. But I would never say to those friends, you know, that we're not friends or that I've shed them. Because if I needed them, they'd be there. But apparently one in five are saying that they're in this friendship drought where they've found they're heading towards later in life

and are losing all their friends and they don't have any friends. Do you want me to weigh in on this? As a man who doesn't want friends. You don't want friends. At any given time, you've got a 20% amount of friends that you could absolutely cull and never see again and absolutely not miss them. 20%.

Okay, we won't say it, but think of your friends. And then on three, two, one, say it. No, no, don't say it, but do you have someone that you could be like, yep, I'll flip them. I'll get rid of them. Heaps of people. Oh my God. I couldn't think of a single person.

I couldn't think of a single one. Just like, I just, if they were like, just stopped contacting you, you'd be like, oh, that's cool. That saves me the job. You're such a hermit. Like, you could literally live on your farmlet and not see anything. I feel like we and your wife force you to socialise so much. Absolutely.

But would you say your social life has expanded somewhat this year? Yeah, well, yeah, I've kind of adopted the gaggle. There are a lot. I've pulled you into the gaggle. Maybe like once a month tops. Right, yeah. There are a lot. Yeah.

A lot of people. Because I definitely know for Aaron as well, like he's, because he's sort of soft in the gaggle, but he's made friends. Are you going to be hard in the gaggle? He's, no, he's semi into the gaggle. He's only going to semi for the gaggle. He's only semi. Interesting. He's made friends through hard in the gaggle. No, he's semi into the gaggle. He's only got a semi for the gaggle. He's only semi.

He's made friends through renovating the house. Like our new friends Jake and Casey, who we spend a lot of time with now, and we've made friends with Andrew, who works in our house with us. He's liked it. Because he's a bit like you, being like, I don't need that many friends.

And then this year it's like, we've got nice new friends. And I can see why he's done that that because he's like doing something with them. Yeah, yeah, shared activities. He's not being forced into a social situation whereas he's, yeah, sharing an activity or like doing something and they share the interest in it. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you've kind of, you've got your tight, the gaggle. Are you hard for the tight gaggle? Yes. kind of you've got your tight, the gaggle. Are you hard for the tight gaggle? The wording of that was so weird to us. You called them a tight gaggle and I was saying you've got to be hard for that. The gaggle are very tight gaggle. No, I'm happy I've got a good amount of friends. But who would you shed?

I wouldn't shed anyone. You have to. Gun to the head. We're back in the store movie. Pick what cosmetic surgery you want and which 20% of your friends you'll never see again. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Today's Silly Little Poll, based on the fact that in the EU,

they make it really hard for companies to get your details for advertising, which I think is why Meta have announced that they would start offering paid-for subscriptions for Facebook and Instagram only in the EU and these certain countries, Switzerland as well. Hmm. Which is in the EU, isn't? No. Because they say EU and Switzerland.

I thought it was all part of it, but who knows? Anyway, people will have the option to pay between €9.99 and €12.99 a month, depending on if it's web or smartphone access. And then that's each account as well, because Meta is Facebook and Instagram. So you can end up paying like €20 a month for ad-free Instagram and Facebook. No thanks. No thanks. Switzerland is not an EU member, but it's part of the single market.

Yeah, right. Which means Swiss nationals have the same rights to live and work. Right. So apparently they're bringing this in in November. And I guess if you don't pay, they will just bombard the hell out of you with ads. Instagram's my favourite. Instagram's my favourite platform. I could do without Facebook.

You could do without Facebook. I could absolutely get rid of Threads, X, all of that. I don't use TikTok. I tried. I made one video. That's it. It's too much work. So I hate this.

This is my go-to. Would you pay $10 a month to use Instagram? Yes. Yeah. 4%. Oh, wow. No way. 96%.

I know, but when it comes down to it, if they say then fine, you can't use it or it'll be five adverts in one post. Yeah. You'll do it. They know that. Kat says, Instagram shouldn't consider themselves lucky to have me.

Yeah. Well done, well said. Somebody else said, actually, please do it. Then I'll not pay and I won't waste hours addicted to the damn thing. So that's good. This could be the boot some people need to get off. The impetus.

Worked with raising the price of cigarettes, didn't it? Fantastic. But they just found an alternative. Sarah says, lol, we clicked no way. Fully knowing we probably would. Yeah. Probably would pay the gym. I just wouldn't.

Ten bucks a month. Rachel said, I'd consider it as a hobby photographer. It's a nice community, but there's already other creative apps popping up, so people will probably just use those instead. Yeah, they'll just be an alternative. Yeah. We should start it. We should get ahead of this.

We'll be billionaires. Jillian said, no, because meta are rich enough as it is, those greedy MFs. Yeah, they are. What do they want more money for? Emma, absolutely not. If that's what's going to happen, it'll be deleted. Rebecca, I voted no, but maybe I would if there were no ads. Yeah.

Rebecca, TikTok for sure I'd pay. Lol, any other app doesn't matter enough. I can still text and call. See, because I pay for ad-free Google. No, sorry, YouTube, which is Google. But that's because you can't watch what you want to watch until it stops playing. Whereas Instagram, just scroll past it.

Who cares if there's an ad? Yeah, or flick past the story, right? Purely for business to advertise my work, but no personal usage, hell no. So there's someone who would pay to continue using it for a business account where they pay for advertising that people are paying to not see anymore.

Yeah. Confusing. Confusing. Yes. Well, that's a little poll. And that's our show. Ka kite. Confusing. Yes. Well, that's a little poll. And that's our show. Ka kite. See you, see you later.

If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.