ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 7th September 2023

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, it's three minutes past six. Joe Jonas, Sophie Turner, done. Done and dusted. I was reading she's a bit of a party girl.

Yeah, I saw that and he's a bit of a homebody. And then he was, you know. So I'm more of a Joe Jonas because I just love just being at home. No. You're a Sophie Turner. You're Kevin Jonas. But then sometimes I do love

being a Sophie Turner, I guess. I'm a Sophie Turner. Through and through. I'm not Kevin Jonas. You're Kevin Jonas. Okay, who's the, which Jonas are we each? I don't want to be the Doug Jonas.

Who's the other one? Damien Jonas. Joe, Kevin. Kevin and Brian. Brian Jonas. Michael. Nicholas. Nick Jonas.

Nick Jonas. Well, he's the most popular one. He's married to, what's her face? Chopra. Oh, with the Yuck Kitchen. Remember her kitchen? Did she have a bad kitchen? Was she the one that had a yuck kitchen?

Oh my God, it's feral. The one that had the pasta stickers on the drawer for the pasta. Was that her? I don't know. Priyanka. Priyanka Chopra. Was it her? Did she have an ugly kitchen?

Yeah, dude. Ooh, dudes. Yeah, like do the goop. Ooh, dudes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's... Nah, that's not it. That's not it.

I'm thinking of that's an ugly kitchen, though. Who had the stick. Goo dudes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's... Nah, that's not what I'm thinking of. That's an ugly kitchen, though. Who had the stick on macaroni? Yeah. Celebrity. Well, they had like vases of coloured macaroni. Ugly kitchen. It was disgusting. Macaroni jars.

Like money cannot buy taste. No, it can't. I know. Have you found it? Nah. God, this is going to do my head in now. I'm happy to be Nick if you want to be Jovorn, because we've got Kevin sorted.

I'm not Kevin. I want to be the other one. Brent. Frankie. Brent. Brent Jonas. I love that. Coming up on the show, the top six.

You're a bonus, Jonas. The top six is on the way before seven, and there's a real fight breaking out. Oh, my gosh, yes. Two of our favourite New Zealand psychics at war, feuding. Feuding because they both believe they had a booking to speak to ghosts, and Calvin Cruikshank and Deb Weber. Yep.

And one of them's been kicked out. I've got all the details as well as before seven. I will be tapping into my own personal psychic ability. Yeah. Which we know exists. 100%. And I'm going to be getting the information straight from the horse's mouth. Ghosts will be joining us on the show before seven via me to tell us what's really happening behind the scenes.

I love ghosts. Of this feud. Okay, we'll get to the bottom of that. Oh my God, I've found the cabinets. I've found the kitchen cabinets. Who was it? I've found the kitchen cabinets. It's got big Kevin energy to have that.

Gigi Hadid. That's who it was. Gigi Hadid. She's got a hideous kitchen. Google it. Oh, she's with Sane. Featuring a bowl filled with old billiard balls on the kitchen bench. Yes, that was ugly.

Magazine covers collaged on bathroom walls and window cutouts in the kitchen cabinets filled with dried pasta spirals dyed various colours. There were magazine, there were magazine, like, it was like a student flat. It was, yeah, terrible. Yeah. Yeah, not cool. Oh, yeah, that's it. How embarrassing.

Yeah, like, worth so much money. How embarrassing. Yeah, like worth so much money. How embarrassing. Has the tackiest kitchen. Coming up on the show as well, the results from our silly little poll. Do you kiss your pets? Absolutely. Like on the mouth. I turned up 10 minutes later than usual today because I was having beautiful kisses.

With Rolly, your cat. Yeah. Next on the show though, somebody has, has well they think they've figured out the cure for jet lag. I get jet lag big time. After a big flight to the other side of the world what are they saying is the cure? Play. ZM's

Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well apparently the cure for jet lag is a big breakfast when you land. Oh really? Even if you land at like night? Yeah have a big breakfast when you land. Oh, really? Even if you land at like night? Yeah, have a big breakfast. How though? A big breakfast is just a great cure

for most of life's ailments. Sad. Big breakfast. Big breakfast. Tired. Big breakfast. Big breakfast. So no matter what time of the day,

you just turn up and have a big breakfast? Yeah. Like eggs and toast. If I was landing and it was night you just turn up and have a big brekkie? Like eggs and toast. If I was landing and it was night, I'd want to have a big, I guess you'd have a big dinner, wouldn't you? Just a big meal, is it? God, don't have to tell me twice. Does jet lag get you if you're going way over the other side of the world? Way over the other side of the world?

No. But like Melbourne? Yes. Because it's just. It's so close. It's only a few hours out, but it's, yes. Because it's just... It's so close. It's only a few hours out, but it's enough to really throw you. Yeah, you lose these hours that you thought you gained when you went over. I'm usually all right, but you know me, I've got endless energy.

So I just sort of push through, but I'll always eat. Because our fact of the day during Wind Wake last week, which is the way it's easier to go... It goes west to east. It's quicker to go west to east. And it's better on jet lag to go... No, that was not factually backed up by anything. Was it not?

You said that. Did I? You said that. I think you've been making up. You said that. I'm pretty sure that's a thing. You're spreading misinformation. It's easier on your body travelling if you're going...

As long as you're not vaccinated. That's what he said. I did not say that. He said pack your crystals, pack your rose quartz. There's definitely one way that's easier on your body in jet lag, and I'm pretty sure it's east to west. Is that right? It would just be not coming home.

Because when you come home, the adjustment's hard, but when you are going somewhere, you're excited to be there. Yeah. So you just force your body to adjust. Yeah. And slam it with cocktails and big breakfasts. I don't know if cocktails is the way to go, but researchers who study circadian rhythms

suggest that adhering to regular meal times... I don't know what circadians are going to do with this, but no. ...suggests that adhering to regular meal times in a new time zone helps recalibrate our internal body clocks. Oh, yeah. so you jump into Whatever meal was the time If it was midday have a big old lunch Yep. If it's dinner, dinner

If it's brekkie brekkie. Cause I'll try I'll try that if I'm coming back And I land. Like you always get One of those flights that gets in at like 5 or 6am You just gotta stay up. Oh yeah. Get straight in Have breakfast. You gotta try. You gotta stay up And try. Go for a walk. Yeah 7 or 8pm and then just go to sleep Yeah. Stay yeah. Get straight in, have breakfast. You got to try. You got to stay up and try it. Go for a walk. Yeah,

7 or 8, 8pm and then just go to sleep. Yeah. Stay up that whole day and then you kind of get back into the rhythm a bit faster. But yeah,

have a meal, a big breakfast they say and it tricks your body into thinking, oh it's breakfast time. I'm this, this is the time. This is the time.

What if you've already eaten on the plane? Eat again. Eat again. That food's not great. Also, holiday calories don't count. Exactly. you've already eaten on the plane? Eat again. Eat again. That food's not great. Also, holiday calories don't count. Exactly. Sometimes if you're on the plane and, you know,

they'll do your breakfast just before you land. Yep. Pass. Oh, really? You'd just rather pass? You'd rather get, like, something really, like, good when you land. Yeah. Also, God, those eggs absolutely toot you up, don't they?

I don't know if they are eggs. No, they're not. They're powdery something. Whatever those clouds are. I maintain that the food on aeroplanes is designed to make you up, don't they? I don't know if they are eggs. No, no, no. I maintain that the food on aeroplanes is designed to make you not poo. Because they don't want you shitting on the plane. Absolutely.

If it can be avoided. Or for the next two weeks. Yeah, exactly. 13 past 6. Next on the show. They've worked out who complains the most. Which names are the complainers? And I'll tell you what, it ain't Karen. I think they've kind of kept their heads down the last few years. Yeah, Karen's been keeping it low.

What's the website, you know, where you go on and it's like trusted, trusted. Trust you, man. Trust Pilot. That's them. That's a good one. Yeah, so Trust Pilot. Trust Pilot.

I've never heard of that. You know, websites will have a little, it'll have a badge somewhere. It'll be like four or five stars on Trustpilot. Yeah. And it's like a, like a. Reviews and company reviews and, you know, and it puts a lot of like, like mana behind the brand.

You know, you can go, oh yeah, that's a good brand. People trust it. Trust this brand. Well, Trustpilot are the people that did this research at who complains the most. Because you know, Karen's, Karen's man, Karen's had a couple of rough years, haven't they? I've got a friend called Karen,

and it's spelled with an I in it. Karen. People always call her Karen, because they think the I does something different. It makes it spicy. And she's always said, no, no, no, it's Karen. And then in the last couple of years, she's like, fine, it's Karen. Yeah, totally. It's Karen. It's Karen.

Of course it is. It's always been Karen. I'm Karen. Yeah. So they did research into who gave the most one-star reviews of companies, right? Which is pretty, like this will have some weight behind it because Trustpilot say they get nearly 1 million new reviews each month. Yeah, it's huge. It's massive. And it's reviews each month. Yeah, it's huge.

It's massive. And it's worldwide as well. Yeah, it is. So they went through and put in all the data of who was making the most one-star complaints, who was complaining the most about companies. And at the top of the list was David.

Oh, okay. But also a very popular name. David is making 20,000 complaints more than everyone else. So David is the male Karen? David's the male Karen. Is David? Because I've got the feeling we're about to find out. Well, they didn't gender it. Right.

They just went, who's complaining? Okay. So David complains, followed closely by John. Yeah. And then Chris is making complaints just after that, followed by Mark and James. Chris could be Christine or Christopher. Yeah, yeah.

No, male Chris. Male Chris. Male Chris. David, John, Chris, Mark and James absolutely having a moan. All really popular names, though. I'd love to see them weighted. Per capita. Per capita. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, though. I'd love to see them weighted. Per capita. Per capita.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. How many? And then the next, so the first entrance of a woman on this list comes after David, John, Chris, Mark and James is Sarah. Okay, again, another popular name. Sarah.

Yeah, Sarah's high. This is Sarah. And probably born like, would have been 80s 70s 80s so in that real complaining hi this is Sarah can I talk to John please so

the only other female in the top 15 list so it goes on with these names is Emma Sarah and Emma having a moan producer Jared's got an Emma does she love a moan does she love a moan? Does she love a one-star review? Uh, nah.

Nah. She's still in there, mate. Speak your truth. She's still in there. She's definitely awake and she's definitely listening. Hi, Emma. Good morning, Emma. So she never complains. Never complains.

Nah, she'll only complain about me, but that's usually justified. To be fair. What's your Trustpilot rating? One, one or two stars? Maybe, I'd say two and a half. He steps, remember the other week he told us he steps over the washing and ignores the dishes. I think he's got a one. A one star.

He's a one star boy. So what were the other names on the list? So then they went who gave the most five star reviews. Okay. And Karen was actually on that list in the top 15. Well she had a lot of work to do. She's got a lot of work. Yeah Karen's really making up for it. Cdm's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly Little Pole, do you kiss your pet?

The answers that you could choose from. Yes. Yes, but not on the mouth. Or no way. Jose. No way, Jose. Cabrera. Yes, but not on the mouth Or no way Jose No way, Jose Cabrera I feel like cat

It's more dog owners kissing their dogs on the mouth Yeah, because cats don't really kiss you back No Please go 44% of people said yes, they kiss their pets 38% said yes, but not on the mouth And 18% said no way. I voted no way.

Because the cat... Oh, yeah. Cats eat other... They'll eat their own vomit sometimes. They eat rodents. Not my cat. He's indoors. He's indoors.

Yeah. He eats his little piskeys and then that's it. Right. And his butthole. No, he can't reach his butthole. He's too fat. Oh, do you have to clean his butthole? Do you have to shave his butthole?

Because my mother-in-law's cat's too fat and has long hair and she has to shave around his butt. No, I don't have to shave. No, he's not long-haired. He's short-haired. Yes, but not on the mouth. Where are you kissing the animal? Top of the head.

Yeah, you've got to skim him a little. Oh, my God, I kiss Rolly all over. No, I don't want to kiss the dogs. Your cat's been your cat's been under the house yeah I know sometimes he stinks

on the belly yeah it's soft belly well just scratch it don't kiss it no I bury my head in it and 18% of people said no way I think the animal

I'm the smirchiest was for the goats oh yeah because they let me but do you kiss them no I don't think I put my head down and like bun heads with them and stuff, I don't think, I'll put my head down and like bun heads with them and stuff, but I don't kiss them.

But those are the only animals we have that aren't like, yuck. You only ever see them eating grass and then they sit down. Yeah. But like the dogs roll and shit, eat shit, like eat dead things. But lots of people kiss their dogs, even though you've got like big, big dogs. Nah, I don't kiss big dogs or little dogs.

Sometimes I like to, um, just on the record, Vaughan Smith does not kiss big dogs, little dogs. No, I don't kiss big dogs or little dogs. Sometimes I like to... Just on the record, Vaughan Smith does not kiss big dogs, little dogs, any dogs. Sometimes I'll hold my hand just above their head like I'm going to pat them and they're like, he's going to pat and then I just hold it there. You are a funny one, you prick.

And I'll be like... That's good stuff. That's good stuff. True to me and Kim Kane. Right. Well, some messages in. Tishan says, Vet nurse here.

I see what pets look on the daily and the state of their teeth. I am not kissing anything on the mouth, but they'll get a kiss on the top of the head. Yeah, top of the head. A boop. Top of the head. A little boopy kiss.

Kate says, because my boys are so cute and adorbs and I just want lots of kissles all over their snoots. Kiss the snoots. That's pretty cute. Yeah, I bet they're not. You know how people with the ugliest dogs

are always like, how cute is my dog? It's like, your dog looks... And they show you photos and you're like, that looks like a cotton lawnmower.

Yeah. We have inbred your dog to the point where it can't even like... Its eyes and nose don't function. I don't have an animal, but the thought of anyone kissing a pet is disgusting, says Jess. They lick everything.

If you're going to lick your animal, stay the F away from me. You're nasty. You know what? I hope we hear from Grumpy Lisa today. I hope we hear. I'm in the mood. This is right up here. I could dip a toe.

Kate, Kat, sorry, says, just wait for the crazy people that say, dog's mouths are so much cleaner than human's mouths. There'll always be at least one. Are they though? No,

they're definitely, definitely nasty. Alyssa, I absolutely love my pets and they need my loving. Yeah. I'm sure love in many ways though. Yeah,

I'm just going to bookmark that one. What kind of psychopath isn't kissing their pet, says Trish. This one, Tr bookmark that one. What kind of psychopath isn't kissing their pet, says Trish. This one, Trish. This one. Travis says, little forehead kisses for my big doggo. So that's, he's kissing on the forehead there,

which as we heard from the vet nurse is her preferred method. The boop. The boop on the kiss. I am shooketh at how many people said, no, pets give you unconditional love. Why wouldn't you show them affection? Well, cats don't. It's conditional. Yeah, that's very conditional.

On food. And situational and everything. No reply from grumpy Lisa today. Bugger it. I know she's too grumpy to do silly little polls. She's so pissed off. She isn't livid that we even asked. She's still working through it.

Now, so a pet at PetMD asked the question, are dogs' mouths cleaner than human mouths? A pet at Pet MD? So we're hearing from the animals. The animals themselves. Yeah, they're a pet doctor. No, Dr. Michelle Diener answered this question on Pet MD. And no, a dog's mouth is not cleaner than a human's.

Both have about 700 different species of bacteria. Yeah, but our bacteria is meant for our mouth. Well, not all of them. Brush your teeth. Billions of bacteria, Yeah, but our bacteria is meant for our mouth. Or not all of them. Brush your teeth. Billions of bacteria about 700 different species. Right, yeah. Keep the dog's bacteria

in the dog's mouth, I reckon. People just let their dogs absolutely all over their mouth. Yuck. It is gross, eh? Yuck, it's yuck. It's yuck, it's mang.

And finally, Bridget said, I voted too quick. I thought that it said partner, not pet. Do you kiss your partner? Yes, but not on the mouth. No way.

No way. Look at this cat. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, the eyes are weird, aren't they? Eyes are on the head. That cat's got something wrong with it. That cat made love to its sister. That cat is the result of...

Mum and dad being... All right, get off Instagram. There is a new trend when it comes to hotel rooms, and I mentioned you've been travelling around a bit. I've been in hotels, motels, holiday inns, you know, and I don't have any complaints, actually. Big beds. Yeah.

Nice dim curtains. My only complaint is when, you know, when they push two double beds together and there's a line in the middle of the bed. I see you. I see what you've done. I know what you've done, hotel. This is not a king bed.

It's two little beds. You're a fool at nobody. That's how most of their king beds done. I know what you've done, hotel. This is not a king bed. It's two little beds. You're a fool and nobody. That's how most of their king beds function. I know. I know, but the key is putting a good mattress thing over the top that binds them. That's what hotels need to do is get some kind of topper that you can't tell. I'm sick of making love in those beds and falling through the crack. I'm sick of it.

You're sick of being in the crack. I am. But hotels are embracing now sleep tourism and guests that are wanting a lot of sleep on holiday. Maybe that's parents with kids. Or working travellers. Or just working travellers. Or just people that are so run down in everyday life

that when they're on holiday, They want to sleep. They want to sleep. They want to be in the hotel room. But I don't get, like you're in another city, another holiday, they want to sleep. They want to be in the hotel room. But I don't get, like, you're in another city, another country, like, get enough sleep. But you need to explore, like. What do I need for my hotel rooms when I'm traveling? Definitely a good bed, a big bed, good air con so I can regulate the temperature.

Oh, you've got to check air con if you're going to a hot place. Yeah. Yeah. But blackout curtains kind of stuff me up a bit. Oh, no, I love blackout. Because you wake up like... You don't know what time it is. What time, where am I, who am I?

Love some blackout curtains. Who's that person? So these hotel rooms, and I wonder if it's a little bit of just making use of like space they wouldn't have normally been able to put hotel rooms in. Right. But these hotel rooms have no televisions, no telephones, no windows. Oh. They use sound insulation.

So you're in a cupboard. So you're in like a windowless room. They have sound insulation, purified air, and they're all about like light colours, dim lights, natural wood kind of oak look and texture. And it's all about sleep. So you're not going to be- They're cupboards, aren't they? They're cupboards. They're straight up cupboards.

They're in the middle of the building. Yeah, no windows. No windows. I'm into most of it. Just the no window thing. I think I'd start running around, you know, like a bird inside. Start running into the walls. Yeah.

I can't have it. Like, have you ever been in a flat where there's... Yeah, I don't... There's no windows. Yeah. It's weird. And there might be a little, like, ventilation. Or, like, a skylight at most.

Yeah. And you're like, ugh. Just... It's a bit weird, eh? It's not supposed to be a room. But, no, apparently this is a thing now. When you start to book hotels, there could be, like, a noise-free room.

Yeah. Which, I mean, is better than getting one of those hotel rooms that's like third floor right by the road. Oh, we sleep. And everyone's doing burnouts at like 11 o'clock at night. We had one that was by the train arms. In Mount Albert, I used to live there all through the night. And then every now and then it would break and it would just ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding all night. I think it meant breaking does not come on. Or when the train's just barrelling through. That as well. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, well, well. We've got a psychic feud on our hands.

We do have a psychic feud on our hands. They were co-stars on TVNZ's Sensing Murder, but Calvin Cruikshank and Sue Nicholson, no love lost between them now, as Sue Nicholson apparently put a caveat on some theatres when she does her tour around and talks to ghosts that no other ghost whisperer can use that theatre for six weeks. Six weeks?

To let the dust settle. To let the dust settle so they don't juice. Because she's going to juice the ghosts. She's going to milk the ghosts. Yeah, right. And then they're not going to have any milk left. But I don't know. So after six weeks, do the ghosts go back into the ground or something?

And maybe. Because she brings them up and he could just swoop in and milk the ghosts. Yeah. Do they milk them? Does she milk the ghosts? That's how they get the information. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Milk them from the teat. That's how people got the idea to milk goats. Right, it's milking ghosts. Because we're going to be milking ghosts. Okay. So apparently at the Greymouth Regent Theatre is where this promoter of the Sue Nicholson tour said, no other psychics for six weeks or whatever.

Yeah. But Calvin Cruikshank was due to perform there. Uh-oh. And they said, well, actually we can't. And he said, well, I'm cancelling my whole South Island tour and Sue's to blame. Now, Sue's people have said he didn'm cancelling my whole South Island tour and Sue's to blame. Now, Sue's people have said he didn't need to cancel his whole South Island tour.

It does seem a little dramatic. Yeah, it really... Calvin Crookshank dramatic? What it smacks of is poor ticket sales. Oh, okay. That's your opinion. Yeah, that's my opinion, allegedly. It smacks of poor ticket sales

because if a concert's cancelled for family reasons and then you never hear about anything family related, it's often just poor ticket sales. But it's hard to admit that, isn't it? So I thought I could read this article, draw my own conclusions, or I this morning could use my psychic ability to connect with some ghosts.

Okay, and they can tell us. Okay. I'm going to need, I actually have some hypnotic music here, if that would be okay with you, sir. Oh, that's nice. Okay, I'm getting a, I'm getting a grandma.

Starts with B. Brenda. Beryl. Barbara. It's a Barbara. Oh my God, Barbara. I know Barbara. Beryl. Barbara. It's a Barbara. Oh, my God, Barbara. I know Barbara. Barbara, tell me, Barbara.

Okay, Barbara's got a message for her granddaughter. I actually want to ask about, okay, you just tell me this, and then we'll get on to the, she wants to say, no wonder you don't have a husband. Your cooking's terrible. Oh, my God. No. And Barbara also says, if I must say it, Barbara,

she wants you to know you're very chubby for someone who can't cook. Barbara, can I ask you about? No, but Barbara's fine. When I think I know who Barbara is. Right. Shannon just messaged, I have a grandmother called Barbara and I'm a bad cook. Oh, my God.

I'm sorry your grandma called you chubby. Number five. I'm going to tap into another ghost here. Okay. I can feel fur. It's a small fur. It's a cat. I've got dead cats. It's a dead cat called Tiger.

Oh no. What is it you want me to know Tiger? Or are you just meowing? I don't speak cat. Oh, no. You can hang around. Oh, you want to go outside? Goddammit. Guys, if I just got to open the ghost ranch slider.

Okay. Bye, Tiger. Okay, number four. I'm going to try another one. Oh, no. I think it wants back in. Try it. No, no.

It's not allowed back in. It's just been fed. Scratching at the ghost ranch. It's literally let back in. It's just been fed. Scratching at the ghost rush. It's literally let Tiger out. Number four, I'm going to go, I'm seeing a man. He's a father. He's a grandfather. Oh.

He's got lollies. Oh. He's offering me one too. Oh. He's telling me they're your favourite lollies that he used to give you when you were a little kid. What do you want me to know about the feud between Deb, I mean not Deb, Sue and Calvin? Oh, you can't say that word in 2023, lollipopper. No, you're not allowed to call me a filthy Irish

either. I'm going to have to go. I'm just going to grab a couple of lollies. Just a couple of lollies. I've got to go. Bye, lolly granddad. These people don't know anything about the psychic feud. No. They need to know. They've all got their own message they want to get across. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I've got a number three. Very different vibe. Very different vibe. It's a house plant that Fletch has killed. It doesn't want to talk about Sue and Calvin. It just wants to say you over-watered it. I told you

you'd do that. I know, I over-watered it. It said it went brown on the tips. It was telling you you were being over-watered. I'm going to go for number two. Who else is out there? It's Tiger. He wants back in. I told you he wanted back in. Okay, come back in.

God, ghost cats are as bad as real cats. Number one. On today's top six ghosts I'm talking to about the Sue Nicholson, Calvin Cruikshank feud. I've got someone coming through. It's a man. Yep. It's a dolphin?

The moustache A dolphin man No it's Adolf Hitler I think I don't know if you're talking to Adolf I might leave it here I'm not having a huge amount

What's that Adolf? Oh no thanks Why is David You'd be perfect Why is David Seymour saying Every historical figure Apart from you's voting act I don't know

I don't know I don't want to talk about it I'm hanging up now This is what happens guys Got messy When you meddle With the psychic world Without the appropriate warm ups

I hope the two can get along I hope they Resolve this issue I hope Calvin can get his tour Back on track Well same Otherwise I want my money back For my tickets

Yeah I was going to the Motueka show. Do you block out other comedians from performing in a gig? Always. Melanie Brasswell, I need an eight-week buffer. She steals their laughs. People only have so many laughs. For tall, white women.

For God's sake, that cat wants to go out again. Oh, for God's sake. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yummy, yummy, yummy In my tummy It's so rich and good Yummy, yummy, a segment of the show where we take a look at new food items and trends.

I still haven't tried the coconut Tim Tams that we mentioned. No, neither. Tim Tam. Tim Tam, sorry. No, I just, I'm, you know, you're all the way people. What did you call it? Tim Tams. Tim Tams.

Tim Tams. Like commoner. We've talked about this before. Tim Tam is the plural of Tim Tam. Yeah, but what about ex-Prime Minister John Keyes? Yeah, that's right. That's right, eh? You always pluralise John Keyes.

Helen Clarks. Helen Clarks. Yeah, yeah. And Camilla Zora Daniels. Yeah. Yeah. And Robert Muldoon. We've got a new...

Always pluralise your New Zealand Prime Ministers. Please and thank you. It's world leaders. Barack Obama. Barack Obama. John Bushes. John Bushes? George Bushes?

George Bushes. Multiple Bushes. Yeah. It's become a forest. Well, we've got a new food item from show sponsor, Nonny's. Nonny, Nonny, Nonny's. Now, I believe Carwin has tried this. It is a, Vaughan, I'll hand over to you with the exact.

Biscoff. Which is the brand. Yeah. What is it? No, the Lotus brand of biscuit, Biscoff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What? Lotus is like the parent company. Yeah. That's the brand. It's like Griffin. It's like Arnott's or Griffin's. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What? Lotus is like the parent company. Yeah. That's the brand. It's like Griffin. It's like Arnott's or Griffin's. Yeah. So the Biscoff biscuit, as a spread.

Which they sell it as. Yeah, which they sell it as, is now in a McFlurry. Now, apparently this was delivered to work yesterday. Yes. And what time was this delivered to work? Because I was suspiciously absent. Yeah, this was about 1pm. Jesus, I was not as far from

work as I can be. That's seven hours to my bedtime. I'm looking at the website our classic creamy vanilla soft serve ice cream. Yep. Topped with crushed lotus biscoff cookie crumble. Okay.

And it looks like they got a bit of a sauce. Is that a caramel? Yeah, I think it was caramel. Yes. Good. Love a caramel sauce. It was delicious. And you know what?

It was enough biscuit crumb that you can mix it and it goes through every bite. Nice. Good. Nice. I wonder if you could ask, because I do hot fudge. I don't do caramel.

Or strawberry. Same, but I think hot fudge. I don't do caramel. Or strawberry. Same, but I think that a caramel would work with this. I'm sort of semi-familiar with this biscuit, but I don't know if I've tasted it. But apparently I've had it on top of a bougie donut. It's like a Belgian biscuit without the icing, made love to a malt biscuit. Lots of ginger, a big ginger element?

So it's like spices and a little bit of ginger, but not as full on as a malt biscuit. Lots of ginger, a big ginger element? So like spices and a little bit of ginger, but not as full on as a Belgian biscuit. Right, because they are quite a spicy biscuit. But I would love... So a malt biscuit with a bit more pizzazz. Yes. A malt biscuit and a gingerbread. Almost like a super wine had a baby with a...

Belgian biscuit. Belgian biscuit and yeah. It was a three-way, was it? No one's quite sure who the father is. Yeah, I think, yeah. It's a bit of a mess. It's a bit of a mess. Yeah.

Until we do a DNA test at Ancestry.com. Could go anyway. Yeah. What, would this make a good cheesecake base? So I was thinking... Hell yes. Because I have, I think I was at like an airline in America recently, handed out these as a snack, as a cookie.

Like they do here. And that was my first time trying it. And I was like, this would make an amazing lolly cake. Ooh, lolly cake, because that's your malt biscuit. It's got a bit more of a spice. It's a bit nicer than a malt biscuit. Because what's lolly cake? It's mullied up biscuits and butter.

It's malt biscuits. And sugar. No, sweet condensed milk. That's right. And lollies. And lollies. Explora lollies form. We don't call them that anymore.

I didn't say anything. You were about to say. I also grew up not using Exploras. We didn't use those. What did you use? Oh, yeah. The little lumps. What were those called?

I haven't seen them. They're like a hard marshmallow. We used Explora lollies for our lolly cakes. We've just had reports of someone who made a cheesecake on the weekend using Biscoff as their base, and they said it was, holy shit, they said, next level. Okay, who's going to make this lolly cake for me? Who makes a cheesecake? Shannon?

Do you know how to make a lolly cake, Shannon? Yeah, we do it all the time, and literally I just wrote down that I'm going to make one this Arvo. me? Who makes a cheesecake? Shannon? Do you know how to make a lolly cake, Shannon? Yeah, we do it all the time and literally I just wrote down that I'm going to make one this Arvo. Oh my God, fantastic. Wait for tomorrow. Yeah, why not?

This is great. Friday. Friday. Biscoff lolly cake. I love this. Because Fridays don't count. This is fantastic. Yeah.

Wait a minute. You're going to not eat it tomorrow. I can feel it. No, I'll eat this. Yeah, this prick. This prick is always like, we always get treats in here and me and Vaughn have them. He's like, I'm going to not eat it tomorrow. I can feel it. No, I'll eat this. Yeah, this prick. This prick is always like, we always get treats in here. Me and Vaughn have them.

He's like, I'm going to eat it. And then we're like, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, jokes. I'm going to look skinnier by comparison. That's what he always says. And then he grabs my fat titties. I do. And he comes up and does that.

Yeah, from behind. He walks behind you and goes, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Doesn't do it to me. How are your titties? He does. But he comes up behind me and goes, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Doesn't do it to me. How are your titties? He does. But he comes up behind me and he pinches my bingo wings. And he goes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I did not do that. And he says, where are you flying? Yeah, where are you flying off this afternoon? Yeah, where are you going? And he goes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I will eat this lolly cake if we make it tomorrow. Yes, go ahead. Someone said, I'll see your cheesecake, Banoffee.

I'll see your cheesecake. I gave it away. I gave it away. I gave it tomorrow. Yes, go ahead. Someone said, I'll see your cheesecake, Banoffee. I'll see your... I gave it away. I gave it away. I gave it away. I see your cheesecake base. Use it as a Banoffee pie base. That's my number one. That's my number one.

Okay, well, let's get some Lotus biscuits happening. Some Biscoff. Could we get some... Could we get... So what is it? So it goes harder than McFlurry is what... Yeah, that fight. Yeah, it was around the office. Georgia as well gave it rave reviews

I want Biscoff biscuit but I want the chopped hot fudge I'm sure I could customise Next on the show We have the finalists for the most beautiful town No more in Phil Which is a real kick in the guts We're working class We're just bloody working mate We don't have time to make things look pretty There's too much meth in the guts. We're working class. We're just bloody working, mate.

We don't have time to make things look pretty. Keeping it humble. There's too much meth on the streets. Excuse me. Coveted title of most beautiful towns in New Zealand. The finalists in New Zealand. Are they doing towns and cities or just small towns? Well, there's different categories. I think there's five different categories

from like small town to large city, tiny town, each of two finalists. Okay. Now, Morrinsville, utterly nowhere to be seen. We would fit into the most beautiful small town, so we'd

be up against Arrowtown and Toorangi. Yeah, you'd never up against Arrowtown and Toorangi. Yeah, you've never been to Arrowtown. Yeah, that's a weird one. Like you've never been to Arrowtown. That should win hands down every year. That's so beautiful. Toorangi is surrounded by beauty.

Yeah, and that's not, it's climb. And good morning to our Toorangi listeners. You are a popular stop and I love to go into the petrol station there. Yeah. And I've stayed at the Top Ten Park multiple times. But you're no Arrowtown, are you? You're no Arrowtown. You are no Arrowtown.

And in fact, I feel sorry if they're even putting you on the same stage. It's like if only two people entered Miss Fonga Matai, you know, and one was a stunner and one was a minger, and they had to put them both up on stage, and you're like, let the minger go. Well, there's lots of... Don't do this

in front of a crowd. This is... It's verging on cruel. I know I just called them a minga, but... Maybe we need to give them consideration because it's based

on a commitment to environmental improvement over the past year. Now, I haven't stopped past Te Uruangi for a while. Oh, well, that'd be why Morrinsville's never on the list.

They're all that cow poo. Oh, hey, mate. Nitrogen flowsrinsville's never on the list. They're all that cow poo. So it's like, hey, mate, nitrogen flows into the water just like the old days. So in the tiny town category, we have Awanui in Northland and Lee in Auckland. The Lee sawmill. Yeah. Now, Awanui, I don't know in Northland,

but I think all of Northland's bloody gorgeous, to be fair. Oh, it is. It's beautiful, yeah. Lee's got Goat Island. Yeah. So Lee's been investing a whole heap in, you know, unique natural surroundings. Oh, so Awanui is like Kaitaia.

It's just north of Kaitaia. And they've been doing lots of outdoor artworks, which I love. A beautiful spot. So then there's Arrowtown and Toorangi in Waikato for the small towns. Okay. Taupo and Whakatane.

Turangi's not Waikato. It's far too far down. They listed it as Waikato. Yeah, they have. Weird. Okay. Now, we've got Taupo and Whakatane competing in the large town category. Oh, okay.

Who would you go there? Because you've got Whakatane by the sea, obviously, with the beach. Because they were saying they were both the finalists in 2021. Whakatane won over Taupo. Okay, so it's a rematch this year. Taupo's got ongoing work of council and community groups

to look after Lake Taupo, including new rubbish bins along the walkway. And they've got the giant letters. It's absolute Instagram bait. Yeah. Yeah. Whakatane does need a little Instagram bait. You reckon? Yeah, it's got a lot of letters, though.

Because it's got the... It's hard to get in a portrait photo. Who is guarding the bar? Where are you going to go? Out over the bar. I haven't been to Whakatane for ages. Oh, Whakatane. I can't remember who's guarding the bar.

It's a Maori safe... Goddess of safe travel. Anyway, too far away. Right. Too far away. Yeah, right. You need something that's a bit more Instagrammable. Yeah, okay.

So then we move to small city. Here we go. The finalists are. Here we go. Here we go. Hwanga Nui in Manawatu and New Plymouth. Okay, I'm sorry, but New Plymouth... He's got this.

Shit's all over Whanganui. Wrong. I'm sorry. I love New Plymouth. I love Len Lai. I love the art. Whanganui is gorgeous. Whanganui's turned it round.

Yeah. Don't know why I put a K in there. Whanganui. And then they dropped so hard on the wha. Because I really wanted to give that A a wha. I want to go in that tunnel that they've got. And they've got the giant pencils. And they've got the largest indoor elevator.

But what have they done? Because you've given us other bits and pieces like Topol got rubbish bins. Yeah. Well, New Plymouth has been pushing their sustainability. So doing lots of natural installations. Yeah, they're like, don't look over there. Don't look at the gas. Don't look at the gas.

Don't look at the gas. Look over here. They do scraps recycling now. And they pick up everybody's compost. Petrol installations. Don't look at the gas. Don't look at the gas. Look over here. They do scraps recycling now, and they pick up everybody's compost, and then they truck it hundreds of kilometres away. That is one way to make a city beautiful, is make your rubbish another city's problem. That's also what Auckland's about to do, too.

Of course they're going to truck that down to, I believe, just south of... Take a few trucks to get rid of the trash in this city. So apparently New Plymouth's vision for the city just south of take a few take a few trucks to get rid of that trash in this city so apparently New Plymouth's vision for the city is to become the sustainable lifestyle

capital of New Zealand it's beautiful and Whanganui has been just doing lots of initiatives to preserve the environment okay

that's cool New Plymouth has this it's the climate New Plymouth's climate when do you hear this now windy, wet tornadoes

we've got the most beautiful large cities. Now I'm going for me, Wellington, on a good day. And you know how I feel. No, no, no, it's too drippy. Queenstown every day of the year. It's too drippy. Everything looks like it's on the verge of being red-stickered for an earthquake. The finalists for most beautiful large city.

Go on. Christchurch. Yes. Which I sort of agree. Christchurch, yeah. You know, they've done so much and they continue to do so much to really... Yeah, but they're still mucking around. They are.

God, there's some buildings that tear that down already. Just get it down. I'll do it. Now, here's where I'm confused, and I say this having just been there last week. Hamilton. Yeah. Tauranga. Oh.

Beautiful by the port. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful by the port. Beautiful. Why are you confused? It's not beautiful by the port The port's the worst part of Tauranga No but I like port

I want to go down that I don't want to go to Tauranga I like a tautney port And I like a boat port I like a ruby port But I don't like a I understand the The need for ports

Yeah I don't think they're visually No it's beautiful But listen to this Tauranga is beautiful But the port's the worst part She listed it as a As a good point

I like the port Judges lead to crises of finance Due to the port's the worst part. She listed it as a good point. I like the port. Judges led to crisis of finance due to the council's focus on sustainable local food production and distribution systems. Tauranga has been trying to enhance the environment of their district. Tree planting, roadways, stormwater drains to public areas. These are all boring categories. It should be like cool restaurants and stuff. Yeah, like nifty bars.

Tauranga should be way ahead with how high rates are down there. I've got some mates, they talk about the rates. They harp on. I don't feel bad for people living in the mountains. When are they announcing this? Massive rates. November 9 at Parliament. I'll be there.

I'll be there protesting New Plymouth. Oh my God, anti-New Plymouth? Can you hold a sign like where's Morrinsville and all of this? New Plymouth, more like old Plymouth. No, wait, New Plymouth? Can you hold a sign like, where's Morrinsville in all of this? New Plymouth, more like Old Plymouth. No, wait, New Plymouth was competing against Whanganui. We're like, what? Morrinsville would be competing against Arrowtown. That's the minger and the gorgeous person on stage again.

It's unfair. I'm glad Morrinsville's not in the final. We'd be obliterated. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM Bing bong I heard dip-dop potatoes When you find Wellington

Or on a plane The descent has officially begun into Wellington And that's when they wheel out the lollies. Well, a Reddit user, ChooseYourGuilt, said, how many lollies are you supposed to take? Because I was on a flight with my child. My child asked me how many I should take, how many can I take. I said two.

No, one. At which point he pointed out saying some people are taking way more than two. So then the discussion began. How many lollies do you take? When you're offered lollies from the little basket that always reminds me of the Catholic collection basket at church? How many lollies are you allowed to take from the lolly basket?

For me, it depends on age. If you're a grown-ass adult, it's one. But as a kid, they used to always let you take a little handful. Sometimes they'd take off your cap and they'd fill up your cap. Or fill up the sick bag. Yeah, fill up the sick bag. If you do a few for the road, a few for the road. If you didn't spew on it.

So people were saying like no more than two and if they smile at two, take three at the most. Somebody else said a handful. People are like no because then it gets to the end of the plane and people might not have it. So what you had here is a real dynamic shown on how people function in society.

Do they believe because they were the first of the trough, they should be able to have as much as they like? And if you were last of the trough, tough metaphorical of course, there might not be a lot left, but why didn't you just get to the trough earlier? We should put this to the test. Next time we're all on a plane together, we should sit in separate rows, right?

But kind of up the front. And we should each take a third of the basket. And then just see what they do. Scoop it onto our laps. Like, Vaughn, you start and you take a whopping handful. I've seen them get them out of those little, you know, Lockers. Lockers that they have.

They've got bags of them in there. Yeah, they'll have plenty, but I just think it'll be funny that I don't think they've ever emptied the basket. But it's not about how much they have they've got bags of them in there yeah they'll have plenty but I just think it'll be funny that I don't think they've ever emptied the basket but it's not about how much they have it's about to me

it's just about like it's one like you should it's one it's restraint right it's just because something's there

says the guy who will absolutely polish off a bottle if it's put in front of him I was like are you talking about a free bar tab just because it's free I'm not talking about my lollies just because it's there you front of them. I was like, are you talking about a free bar tab? No, I'm not talking about wine. Just because it's free.

I'm not talking about bars. I'm not talking about lollies. Just because it's there, you shouldn't. Yeah. Like this person was trying to give their kid a life lesson. No, don't take more than you need. And people are just like, give me more. It would be weird to see an adult take a handful.

Like that would be weird. I think we should do it. I think we should empty the basket. They asked Air New Zealand's official chief customer sales and lolly officer, Leanne. What? That's not a thing. No, I know, but they were just trying to be cute. Okay.

They said a handful is acceptable. No, everybody can't take a handful. You can't take a handful. And how big is everyone's? Everyone's got different sizes. Otherwise the prices will go up because they're going to have to buy like... More lollies. 1,000% more lollies. Yeah and they'll just

pass that straight on to us. I'd rather have like no lollies and some cheaper airfares. Oh always. 1000% of the time. Now somebody's just messaged in take them all. Trust me my old man works for Air New Zealand and they get all the leftovers

and it's bags and bags. Now why are they giving away the lollies? Because they're made of pure sugar and I don't believe that has an expiration date. No, they'll just last. Maybe the leftovers are if they've been in the bar they can't use them after they've done a basket run? I don't know. Surely not.

No. They're wrapped for that very reason. Yeah. As a former flight attendant, the flight attendant doesn't care how many lollies you take. There are lots on board. It's more annoying when people take a long time to choose a colour. Oh, yeah, just grab a pen. Okay, so that's saying handful

because then you're going to get one of the colours. But don't sit there and pick out a handful of your favourite colour. No, if you want all red. There are pallets of those lollies at your airport. Okay, pallets. So take a handful. Somebody else said, as someone who gets badly blocked ears,

one is never enough, always take two. One doesn't last the whole descent. I would say suck a little less. You need to get some chewing gum. Yeah, that's on you. If you've got poppy ears. And stop sucking so hard.

It'll last long if you just stop. I've got an aggressive tongue and a hard suck. Unfortunately, we can't choose who we fall in love with. The heart wants what the heart wants. But there is a wife who was taken to Reddit to ask people, what are we going to do about this? Now, when she got married to her husband, she kept her own name, as I intend to do. I mean, that's assuming this marriage will happen.

Because how long have you been engaged for? For years. Yeah, look at Georgia Burt's on the phone with another wedding supplier and she's only been engaged a couple of weeks. Oh. Look at that. She's out there doing business. She's out there doing business.

She looks miserable organising this wedding, by the way. Look at her. She's frustrated. She's pissed off. I know. She's got a tan. She's working on her. She's frustrated. She's pissed off. She's looking all hot as well. She's got a tan. She's working on it.

Ella. Anyway. Whatever. No pressure. We're talking about you. We're talking about you on air. Not to you, about you. Oh, yeah.

She's looked away. Now, she got married to her husband. She didn't take his last name. Kept her own name. Might have something to do with the fact that his last name is Butt. B-U-T-T? B-U-T-T.

Okay, yeah. Great opportunity for him to change his name too if he wanted. But he didn't. What's her name? It doesn't say actually. She doesn't say her own name. I was going to say hyphenate, but what if her name's Hole? Or Cheek.

Mrs. Hole, do you take Mr. Butt? God, thank God they did it in that order. Butt hyphen Hole. So the reason she's gone to Reddit though. Is this Timmy Butthole, do you take Mr. Butt? God, thank God they did it in that order. Butt hyphen hole. Yeah. So the reason she's gone to Reddit, though. Is it Timmy Butthole, is it? Yeah. I don't, yes. My parents didn't think about the hyphen.

She said, am I being, she, they don't have kids yet, but they're thinking about it, right? Right. And so this is the debate. She's like, I don't want my kid to be Jimmy Butt or be Theo Butt. Oh, yeah, right, yeah. So she's like, how can I bring to his attention

that they can't have butt, they should take my name or hy, yeah, right, yeah. So she's like, how can I bring to his attention that they can't have Butt, they should take my name or a hyphenate. Because if they go, they get Julio and then he's in class. Yeah. And then they're like doing the role and they always put the last name first. They're like. Julio Butt. Butt Julio.

Butt Julio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Butt Julio. It could go so wrong. But for him, though, it wouldn't be an issue because he's lived his whole life like this. And for him, it's not an issue, right? And it's a family thing. He's got this whole heritage kind of vibe.

He wants the name to continue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that kind of stuff. But I wanted to know if... Seymour. Seymour Buck. I want to know if you refuse to take your partner's surname because it was a bit shite. Or maybe you've got a boyfriend now,

and if this ends in marriage, you're going to end up with this name, and you're like, no, absolutely not. Absolutely. I had a friend who was about to marry a man whose last name was COX. Cox. Now, we told her, well, she simply can't. Yeah. She can't marry him or she can't name the name

Well thankfully the relationship Disintegrated And that never went ahead But Okay I was like you can't be Mrs Cox Pick up Yeah

If you had the choice If you're born into it You're born into it Yeah But if you can choose Yeah Yeah go with Yeah

Okay We wanted to know If you had to Refuse to take Your partner's name because maybe it was not a great name. There's a woman who doesn't want her kids to have her husband's name. Butt.

B-U-T-T. Mr. Butt. Natalie joins us. Good morning, Natalie. Good morning. Now, are you engaged or with someone and you're about to take their name? No, we've been together about four years, so it's on the cards.

Okay. And so do you want to take his name? I do because we can't hyphenate because it's just not appropriate. Okay, what's your surname currently? So my surname is Cox, C-O-X. Okay. And his name? And my surname is Cox. C-O-X. Okay. And his name?

And his surname is Bull. So we would be Cox and Bull. Cock and Bull. You can tell you won't, you can open a bloody good English tab and then... I was going to say it sounds like the name of an English pub. Cock and Bull. I've been to a Cock and Bull. Yeah. So you'd be Bull Cox or

Cox Bull. Yeah. That's right. So. So you'd be Bull Cox or Cox Bull? Yeah. That's right. No, that's not happening. So what are you going to do? I will probably just take his last name. Bull. And be Bull, yeah.

Natalie Bull. Okay, Natalie Bull. Natalie Bull is quite cool. And then any of your kids would just have the last name Bull. Bull. Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? God, I thought she said Balls when you first said Bull. I was like, cock and bull. That's terrible. No, I thought she said balls when you first said bull. I was like, cock-a-ball.

That's terrible. No, B. B-double-O-L. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Okay. Natalie, thank you. Some messages in.

I knew a woman and her name was Megan Feagan. Feagan was her married name. So she married in and took the name. Yeah. I mean, yeah. No. That's slightly more acceptable than your parents having the last name Fegan and calling you Megan Fegan.

Yeah. My other friend is marrying Mr. Tilly. Now, she takes her name. Her name's Jen, so she'll be Gentilly. No, that's a prank. Gentilly. That's a prank text. That's a prank text.

It's not. It's the same one. It's the same person that said Megan Fegan. I believe this person with my whole soul. Do you? My wife was a Seymour and I'm a Moor. We joked about becoming the Seymour Moors or the Moor Seymours. Moor Seymours is good.

Hayley Jane Moor Seymour. Keep your texts coming in 9696. You can give us a call as well. 0800 dials at M. If you refuse to take your partner's name because it's silly, we are talking about whether or not you took your partner's name and you said, no, I won't actually because it's silly. Yeah, a woman doesn't want the last name but, B-U-T-T.

The but family. A lot of messages in. My auntie could have been garlic farmer if she'd hyphenated. Oh, my God, amazing. Garlic is a silly name. Is it her last name? Yeah, garlic with a K on the end of your traditional garlic. And then Farmer.

Yeah, Garlic Farmer. There was a boy in Reefton called Chris Cross. Now, because Cross is a, like Cross as in... Cross, yeah, as in... Tina Cross. Yeah, yeah, as in Dana Cross. Yeah, yeah, lots of Crosses, but they said it was a... I guess they got his surname, but then he could change his name at marriage.

But then if he married a Chris, Chris and Chris Cross. Christine. Chris and Chris Cross. Yeah, Christopher and Christine Cross. Who was I talking about yesterday? And someone knows an Adam and Eve. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they got together in the Adam and Eve. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they got together and they're Adam and Eve,

which I thought was quite cute. No, I'm not reading that text, you silly. You're trying to trick me. Are people trying to trick you? You're trying to trick me. My last name's Johnson and my boyfriend's last name is Dickie. So if we ever get married, I'll just be trading one penis slang for another.

Oh, my God, I love the last name Dickie. I don't know why. That's so cool. Johnson. Hayley Dickie. A guy at school, his mum's name was Mary Christmas. So she married into the Christmas family, took the name and became Mary Christmas. Is that actually a real last name?

Christmas. Yeah. I mean, I'm only basing it off Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber. That's the only other person. Oh, it was Jimmy Christmas in the New Zealand band. I mean, obviously, there's Father Christmas. Yeah, true. Yeah.

But he was more the father of Christmas. I don't think his first name is Father. Or his last name is Christmas. Yeah. What about this one? When I worked in a bank, there was a woman called Sue. Her last name was Flay. Her last name was Flay. Her married name was Flay.

So she was Sue and she got married into the Flays and became Sue Flay. Yeah. Wow. If it was inoffensive and it was kind of fun, like Sue Flay, I'd be like, I'll be Sue Flay. How fun is that, having that conversation with people every single time you give them your name? Yeah, and also when they write your name down,

it'll be like S-O-U-F-F-L-E with an accent. Somebody said my ex's last name was Thrush. And to be totally honest with you, everybody's saying, have you got Thrush? Triggered. It was just one of the reasons. Two triggering. One of the reasons why I'm never going to work.

Someone said I was happy to get married because it got rid of my last name, Tarbottom. Tarbottom. Tarbottom. What a nickname. Tarbottom. What a surname. I've never heard that surname ever. I've never heard that surname either.

Like you've sat on the road in summer. Yeah. We've got a Tarbottom. Oh, you've got a Tarbottom. Tarry Bottom. I love someone messaging me like, I didn't take my husband's last name because feminism.

Now look. That's cool. Each to Now look. That's cool. Each to their own. That's cool. Each to their own. I bet he had a dumb one. I went to school with an Iona weenie. Oh, I wouldn't take weenie.

But she, I wouldn't take weenie. But she was born with weenie. She was born with weenie. She would be one day giving away the weenie. Yeah. Some of us were born with weenies. Oh my God. My friend's name is Midori.

No. No, it's not. And she got married to someone whose last name was Bailey. Midori Bailey. No, see, are they tricking us?

Are they tricking us? Because a Midori and a Bailey is a QF, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's a QF if you mix them together in a shot glass. You can't trick the old smithy. Well, no,

they totally did because they liked it so much when I first read it. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM. Well, no, they totally did because I liked it so much when I first read it. It's time for another edition of Girl Math, where the girls will try and justify spending. That's right. In a fun, silly little way. Now, we are joined by Lucy,

who is employing the services of the Girl Math Girlies. Morena, Lucy. Morena team, how are we? Good. We are just thriving, pumping, and excited to hear what you are thinking of spending your money on. So, I am a Pilates princess. I hold. So, I am a Pilates princess. I hold no bars.

I am a Pilates princess, but my finances do not allow me to be a Pilates princess every day. It's expensive. It's expensive. You need some of the dupes. It is. The active wear that's not actually expensive.

Yeah, yeah. There's no Pilates dupe, though. I thought you were promoting to her turn-of-the-century perfume dupe, J-O-O-P. No. I was like, I'm not sure why she needs a dupe. No one's wearing dupe. So it's not the clothes that are expensive,

it's the actual Pilates. It's the classes, yeah. So the reformer, you know, where you've got the machine and you're in there with your 12 other friends, your girlies. So my dilemma is 50 classes is $1,200.

Whoa! That's under one a week. As we know, you can get a Deadly Handbags, a Deadly Ponies handbag for that.

I know. So do you have... Why do you need a reformer in a class? In my day, you just sat on the lounge floor and plopped on

Mary Windsor Pilates who passed away by the way in 2020 of ALS. No, the reform is where it's at, RIP. But no, the reform is where it's at, isn't it? It's so hard, but it's so good. I went this morning,

and I'm still shaking. Wait a minute, what's the machine? They strap you into the machine and they pull the cords in there. Well, you strap yourself on. They don't strap you in against your will. Who pulls the cords? Who pulls the cords?

Well, you're there pulling your own cords. Oh, no, no. That's very hard? Who pulls the cords? Well, you're there pulling your own cords. Oh, no. That's very hard. This is my problem because, Lucy, I wanted to do Pilates as well. I feel like I could be a Pilates princess in the making. But I don't want to get rid of my gym membership because I lift bra. You know, I lift bra. Yeah, that dumper doesn't come.

See, I'm exactly the same. Yeah. You know, you've got your normal gym membership, which isn't cheap. I mean, I go to a normal gym but you know I can't do both. What am I to do to here? Well let's try to

work out to see if you can do both. Okay. Let's bring in the girlies, Carween and Shannon. Hello. What are we thinking

here with Pilates? Are you guys Pilates queens? No, I would love to be. So this math might work on me. Yeah, aspiring

princess over here. Now we might make money for Lucy and also the Pilates industry because the three of us might go, hang on, if it's free, maybe we could all join Lucy in a class. Exactly. How are you going to do this?

Because this is a lot of money. Well, I looked up, just to get us started, because none of us are experts on Pilates here other than Lucy, who herself is a Pilates princess. The benefits of Pilates, and they're endless, increase core strength, posture, decreased back pain, prevent injuries, increase energy, enhance

body awareness, decrease stress, reduce menstrual pain, improve flexibility, mobility, improve balance, immunity, sex life can even improve from this thing. It can feed it all. It can feed it all. Who do we want to start with, girlies?

Karwyn, do you want to kick us off? Yeah, sure. So that list is large, but also there's one that's missing off of there. Mindfulness. Mindfulness. They're about to put a price on mindfulness. No, no, no. Listen, listen.

There's no price on going to a class and just feeling like the most put together person you can be Listen I can hear your put togetherness When you went this morning I can hear it And you know what Your alternative to that Could be a bit of therapy

It is like a form of therapy right Absolutely If we had a little google Therapy on average is about 150 to 200 per session Yeah that's right I know I know

I know Because Lucy When I went to, when I went to therapy and then she was like, you should go to Pilates and I said, no, I can't afford it. And so instead I went to therapy and that was so much more expensive. I should have just done Pilates. Yeah.

You should have. Yeah. So if you're going, so I think you're taking the 1200 option. It's 50 classes, right, for $1,200. So what does that break down to? $24.40 per class if you went once a week, right? That's $24.40 once a week.

Now, if you go to therapy, say, once a fortnight at $250 a session, that's $125 a week. So you're actually saving already $125 minus $24.40. You're actually saving $100.60 already. A week. A listener's piped in.

Is it a girly? I'm not a girl. But just thinking about the fact of how much at work we deal with people who have significant injuries due to the fact that how much at work we deal with people who have significant injuries due to the fact that they haven't built their core strength or their back strength. And when you go on ACC, you only get 80% of your wages for six months.

And if Lucy's earning a high amount of money, if she's a high earner... You give us a bracket. You don't have to tell us how much you earn, but are we just scraping by or are we doing all right for ourselves? I think we're doing okay, but we're only going downhill,

you know, in a cost of living crisis. So you need to save the money. Well, there you go. Of not being on only 80% of your wages. So let's say she earns $100,000 a year. Yeah. She's losing $20,000. She doesn't spend $1,200.

Only for six months. Yeah, and then otherwise she's lost her job. Kaputut. So now we're saving $10,000. All because you didn't have core strength. Yeah. lost her job. Kaputut. So now we're saving tens of thousands of dollars. All because you didn't have core strength. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. I think you sold me. Yeah, we almost sold. Shannon, what's your perspective here? Yeah, another addition to the core strength is the back pain. Now, I've looked up. 80% of adults will experience lower back pain in their life.

We cannot have that. Well, these boys know that. They've both had back pain. Wow. Every morning. Multiple scientists have said that Pilates is one of the most proven ways to improve their back strength. So I've looked up a chiropractor's appointment is about $60.

She can save maybe a fortnightly appointment by doing Pilates. She's already saving $100.60 by not doing therapy. And the chiropractor. And the chiropractor. And the chiropractor. Therefore saving time because therapy's about an hour appointment. Chiropracting maybe half an hour or so. So she's got 90 yeah, we're saving time and money now.

We're girl-mathing time. That's unreal. We're beyond zero. We're basically free. You're making money. But here's a way I think you could actually turn this into a lucrative choice to make $1220 for 50 classes Pilates is so trendy

on Instagram at the moment like it's one of the most common things wall Pilates that's everywhere on my thing and the Pilates if you get good enough which I think you should

for $1200 at 50 sessions in the year you could start a page now then that $1200 becomes tax deductible because that's a business expense because you're making money off of new Pilates.

You're a fitness influencer. You're a wellness influencer. Yeah, you're a wellness influencer. We'll call your page. It's like atlooselucy because she's loose. I'm personally waiting for the IRD to absolutely crack down on this wellness. Until then, until then, mate.

Hey, while the sun shines, boo-boo. But we could start a tab atlooselucy because she's nice and loose and bendy. And now we'll get the followers going because they're already invested in this journey. Libalucy. Libalucy. Libalucy sends the followers going, because they're already invested in this journey. Luce Lucy. Luce Lucy sends the wrong message. Well, she can make money that way as well,

but that's a separate page. That's a bit of a slow burner, maybe. That makes a bit of a slow burner, but now you're paid advertisements, you're getting free gear from brands that want you to wear it on your Instagram. Hashtag Lululemons. Lululemons.

Lululemons. They paid a big bucks for Lululemons. Oh my God, it's unreal. Lulu, Lulu, Lulu, Lulu, Limba Lucy. They paid a big bucks for Lulu, Limba Lucy. Oh my God, it's unreal. You have to do this, otherwise you're at risk of back injury and losing 20% of your income. Can I add one thing? Yes.

Are you single or are you taken? I am taken, unfortunately. Unfortunately? I was just trying to pick you up. So is he. Unfortunately, so you're going to be single, you're going to be limber, you're going to be single. You're going to be limber. You're going to be ready to party.

And if they're like, what are you up to tonight? And you write Pilates class but accidentally put an R instead of an L and they think you're off to Pirates class, that's hot. That's hot. A hot limber pirate? Are you kidding me? What are you up to tonight? I'm off to Pirates class.

I'd be like, I need to come to Pirates. Oh, my God. Lucy, you have to make this. You have to do it. You can afford it. You're going to make money. I've already got my card out. Oh, good. Fantastic.

Well, there we go. You've made money. It's not basically free. You've made money. That also might be our actual healthiest episode of Girl Math. We're actually encouraging someone to look after themselves. I think all of them have been quite healthy. Because I think the woman with the deadly pony's handbag is also

living her best life. Lucy, thank you. Well, we were talking we love a payday you know, and I was just checking it was payday tomorrow and then Shannon made a an embarrassing admission, I guess. Last night she's on her phone in bed. What were you doing? I was payday tomorrow. And then Shannon made an embarrassing admission, I guess.

Last night, she's on her phone in bed. What were you doing? I was playing some Candy Crush. Yeah, girl, get it. Had all five lives ready for a good night. Hell yeah. Oh, man, I love it when my lives are full. You have never played Candy Crush?

No, neither. You are missing out. You are missing out, but don't start now. This is what I cannot believe, that Shannon and you, Hayley, are still, all these years later, playing Candy Crush, the game of aunties. Well, the embarrassing part about it is that Shannon tried to... The game of scammable mums.

Get an email, would you like some Candy Crush lives, Beryl? Oh, you know I would. Look, so you tried to make a purchase, didn't you? You tried to top up, you burned through your five lives. Well, no, there was a sale and there was some Striped candy Lives for 30 minutes. I was ready for a good time

20 2012 candy crush kills you in a game of Candy Crush the candy crush you know you just don't you run out of lives Yeah, what and that's how people end up paying right like Hayley Well like Shannon, but what happened when you tried to make your payment? It declined It sucks man, that's like $1.69 And you're like, oh Well I had budgeted the week And I knew how much I had and I tried to

Spend $10 but the gym payment Had come out so I only had $6 left I hate that In your budget, you budget $10 a week for Candy Crush. Not deliberately, but I'm aware of my give-through. What do they call it in a budget when there's room for...

Entertainment. Contingencies. Yeah, there you go. In lockdown, I spent about $50 on Monday on Smurfs. Dude, I spent so much money on Candy Crush.

What is Smurfs? Smurfs Village, is that still the same thing? My cousin got into my auntie's credit card when she was a kid and ticked up some $1,200 on that. I love it.

Really? Candy Crush rules. I don't know why. It's my little, if I can't, don't have the brain space to listen to a podcast or the ZM radio or listen to a book, read a book, sorry, I'll just jump on Candy Crush. What level are you on? Is that a competitive question to ask?

I'm nervous because I don't know if it's good that I've gone so far or if I'm embarrassed. I don't know either. Okay, you say yours first. We're at a standoff. I'm at 1,324. 1,793. That's how many I've done. Almost two.

We've done nearly 2,000 levels. What is a level? I just want to say that Hayley flipped me off. Is it clearing all the lollies? Yeah, so you go like this. Let me open it up. Clear all the jelly. Now, this one is a nightmarishly hard level.

So I'll go play. Now, I'm dedicating a life here, by the way. So you go here and then you've got to clear them all. And there's your goal. So I've got to clear those. Oh, my God. People are going to tune in and be like, is she just discovering Candy Crush?

No, Vaughn is. And you're just clearing them I just think this is the dumbest this is the most you guys should play actual games with storylines and like character development no but the whole

it's a tune out like Spider-Man 2 comes out on the Playstation next month it's going to have Spider-Man it's going to have Peter Parker Miles Morales

it's going to have Venom beautiful in depth I'm not doing that I'm not joining your dumb club come on I'm not doing it Bouldersgate 3 I'm off home to play Bouldersgate 3.

I need it out. I do the three screen things. On the big screen I have below deck. The medium screen I'll have work and the little screen I have Candy Crush. Same dude. We're the same woman. Do you know in 2021, I've just been kind of trying to Google some figures about how much Candy Crush makes. In 2021

it reportedly had $1.21 billion in revenue. Yeah, that's me and Shannon. That's in one year. That's me and Shannon, baby. That is insane. Now I'm playing. I'm not even listening.

I'm not even doing my job right now. I'm just playing level 1,793. See if I can clear these. Absolute auntie. I know. Absolute Candy Crush auntie. It's not that I'm like, what are you on about? Because when I play it on the plane, which I do, I feel embarrassed.

Oh, I do the sheltered hands around it. You're going to say, like, oh, my God, how shame that I'm still playing this. But it's fun, baby. Yeah. We need to do a wine night of just sitting in silence with Candy Crush. Oh, my God, this weekend, that's what I'm doing. Does it make a noise when you spend money? No, you can put it on silence.

I was just going to say, because if you're at wine night and all of a sudden you hear someone spending money. Well, you're not the only one because a lot of people are texting and saying that they're candy crushers. I'm level 7,521. I'm jealous. Someone on the text machine has said 11,000.

11,279. And what was your level? 1,793. I've been playing for years, but I take breaks. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. I take breaks when I lose interest. Someone said, Vaughn, do not start. Walk away.

I nearly failed my dissertation for my master's playing Candy Crush. Yes, but you're an academic. I'm a dum-dum. Yeah, you are a dum-dum. I get to do dum-dum stuff. I don't need to concentrate on things. But also, I'm not playing Candy Crush. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. it due We'll We'll always be you R.I.P. R.I.P. Big rip to that one.

Today's week is we continue Honey Badger Week. I told you this is going to take a dark turn. And for that dark turn, I would like to turn to page 176 of the 1941 volume of Fauna of British India. Okay. We're going to make a long time. Just Fauna, not Flora. Not Flora.

It is page 176 Where I will read you about Malavora indica The Indian rattle Now we've talked about this The honey badger is also known as the rattle Believed to be drawn both From a Dutch name for honey And also the noise it makes

When it's Throughout it's life When it's happy, when it's angry It makes a rattly noise It goes on to say it has a tail without hair about one-fifth to one-sixth the length of the head and body. Four claws, very large. We know about this. We know what it looks like now.

Next page, 177. Now, this is a digital scan of the original print. So it's in that real weird oldie time font that's quite hard to read sometimes. It goes on to say about the dimensions. Habits. Like most of the subfamily, the Indian rattle is exclusively nocturnal. Not true. Okay.

They didn't know Jack back then, did they? They didn't have honey badge effect of the week. They didn't have honey badge effect of the week. No, they didn't. Honey badges are of the week. They didn't have honey badger effect of the week. Honey badgers are out there doing their thing all matter of times. Throughout India, this animal has a reputation of digging into graves of men in order to feed upon the dead bodies. Honey badger?

Honey badger, no! Honey badger, what are you doing? You're eating my granday! Oh my god! We're doing these accents because it would have been very inappropriate for us to do Indian ones. No. Honey, what are you doing? You're eating my grandy. Oh, my God. We're doing these accents because it would have been very inappropriate for us to do Indian ones. Yeah, well. Fletch wanted to, and I totally wasn't allowed.

I did not. I did not. He did. He'll do it for you if you call up 0800-DALZ-EDM. He'll do it for you. You can also ask for his persian rug rug his rug merchant that's that's a really good that's great character work uh so nominal stuff several of the native names for the indian rattle mean grave digger really it also it is the same

belief in persia with regard to the badger in all probability equally without at least foundation that it is true of the rattle to eat dead bodies? That's manky. That's a manky badger. Yeah, that's a manky badger. Naughty badger. Or cable cordum vala. Cordum.

Which is grave digger. Okay. I translated it. Wow. So today's fact is it has taken a dark twist. It really did, didn't it? But you thought this rascal was going to be with the... No, honey badger.

No, honey badger. No. No, no, no. Who's a naughty honey badger? Also, they wouldn't do it these days because of the formaldehyde and such. Yeah. It would have been good for the honey badger. But the honey badger would just probably eat it and be like, that's not good.

I don't feel good. And then just have a nap and wake up and be like, whoa, I won't do that again. good for the honey badger. But the honey badger would just probably eat it and be like, that's not good, I don't feel good, and then just have a nap and wake up and be like, whoa, I won't do that again, I'm a honey badger. I'm going to do it again. I'm num num. So today's fact of the day, in a dark turn, honey badgers in India were known to dig down into fresh graves and eat recent human remains. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. A wild story out of New York City. There was a girlie who calls herself a fashion girlie. She had a hookup. She passed a guy on the street, some eyes on him. Then we see each other. Oh my God, I've seen you again. As hookups go.

And eventually after a number of- Wait, so this is an old fashioned hookup, not an app. Yeah, this is not. Wow, okay. Well, she did. He's on the apps, but they saw each other on the street first and then found each other on the apps. Oh, this is not. Wow, okay. Well, he's on the apps, but they saw each other on the street first and then found each other on the apps.

Oh, right, okay. But it started with eyes across the street. God, those were the days, eh? You're just sort of looking around, you're like, oh, okay. It happened to me. Fat little fuggo. Never caught eyes with you.

You should have seen what I was wearing. I was a weird weirdo. Still am. It's a bit hard to eye you up through those thick Coke bottle glasses. How you looking good? Me? May I please have sex with you? Would you like to know where I'm up to in my Pokemon Blue journey?

Oh my God, yeah. She went really soft. How you familiar with Japanese anime cowboy bebop? Oh, it's gone inside me. Yeah. You can see why. You can see why. Anyway.

You remind me of Bulma from Dragon Ball Z. I'm going out of puberty. I'm reverting back to pre-puberty. That was my special power. That was my special power to be absolutely repulsive. Anyway, this woman, Lex, she shared this on TikTok that she'd hooked up with him and he'd come home and he was a fashion guy, she was a fashion girl

living in New York City. Yeah. She's called him the tabby swiper. Now the tabbies, if you think about the classic Mary Janes, the tabbies were the polarising shoes that looked like horse feet with the big split in the middle where your toe goes, right? But they were like high fashion. Weren't they like $1,000 or something?

$1,000. $1,000 American dollars. Okay. So very, very expensive. Now, he went over to her house for this hookup, and he notices them because he's a fashion dude. He's like, hold on. Oh, my God, you got the tabbies.

And she's like, yeah, man, I'm a fashion girl. And like, oh, my God, great. They have a hook dude. He's like, hold on. Oh, my God, you got the tabbies. And she's like, yeah, man, I'm a fashion girl. And like, oh, my God, great. They have a hookup. He stays the night. Yeah. Everything that ensues ensues. The next morning he makes this kind of like fumbling thing.

He's like, I want to show you a playlist, but I don't have it on my phone. Can I use your phone? And did this thing. And he was like trying to like buy time. And he was like, oh, can you log in? And she was like, yeah. And he like went away for a bit. Yeah. And then came back and she listened to music. And then he was like, oh, can you log in? And she was like, yeah. And he like went away for a bit. Yeah. And then came back and she listened to music and then he was like, right, well, I've got to go. Yeah.

And she was like, cool. Later she's sitting on the couch and she looks over towards her wardrobe. The shoes are gone. Why? He stole the shoes. This dude stole the shoes. Thousand dollar shoes. Well, yeah, they'd be like 1600 bucks in New Zealand. Yeah. Stole them. Totally gone. She was like, what the hell? And she's like, I don't want to be accusatory. So she like tore her apartment apart, but'd be like $1,600 in New Zealand. Yeah. Stole them. Totally gone.

She was like, what the hell? And she's like, I don't want to be accusatory. So she like tore her apartment apart. But she was like, I know. I literally just showed them to him last night. Then she goes on his profile and like is messaging him and whatnot. And then finds him on Instagram. He's got a girlfriend.

She's wearing the tabbies. What? What was the part on the phone for? I don't know. Buying time. Yeah, so she was. To distract her so he could grab the shoes. And then leave.

And then gives them to his girlfriend. Plot to us, he has a girlfriend. Plot to us, girlfriend. And then does she hit them up? Or just, is that where the story is? Yeah, she hit him up and then he rung and was like, don't be crazy, I didn't steal your shoes. He gaslights her for a little bit. Yeah, she hit him up and then he rung and was like, don't be crazy. I didn't steal your shoes. He gaslights her

for a little bit. Yeah, okay. He's like, that's out of my character. Totally bizarre. Yeah. And then- Out of my character.

Oh, by the way, I've also got a girlfriend. Yeah, totally. Not the most trustworthy guy at the stage. Yeah. And then sees them on his girlfriend.

Anyway. But this happened to you as well. Yeah, I hooked up with a guy once when I was living by myself and it was fine. It was absolutely fine. No regrets, except he stole my iPod. But this happened to you as well. Yeah, I hooked up with a guy once when I was living by myself. And it was fun.

It was absolutely fun. No regrets. Except he stole my iPod. I had one of those 120 gig silver iPods that had the sickest playlist on it ever. He nicked it. Spinning wheel? Spinning wheel. Spinning wheel one.

You bring your finger over. Yeah. Yeah. So I was robbed after I hooked up as well. We want to know, did a hookup steal from you? Maybe they took a memento. It doesn't have to be big or expensive or anything, but yeah, they took a little token. Maybe they took some socks or something because they didn't have socks.

My innocence. Yeah, we won't have reports of stolen innocence. So 0800DARLS.AM, give us a call now. Text her as well, 9696. What did a hookup steal from you? Are we taking calls from people that also took something? Hey, if you took something, we'll listen. No judgment.

NZ Cup and Show Week in Christchurch is back. It's a day of racing, fashion, live music and babies. Now, you can join us at the brand new NZ Cup and Show Week. ZM on the green. ZM online has all the event and ticketing information. Plus, you can go to ZM on Facebook, comment to win return flights for two to Christchurch, two nights accommodation and a pamper package for Addington's

Trotting Cup Day, November 14. It's coming up. Right now though. Oh my god, the stories we're getting in of what did a hookup steal from you or did you steal as a hookup? They're crazy stories. There was a girl in New York City who got her designer shoes stolen by a fashion date.

Bea, good morning. Morning. Morning, Bea. I would be so upset if somebody stole my massage gun. Oh, I wasn't upset about my brand new Samsung earbuds. Wait, so what happened? I was seeing this guy for around three months. Like, we would go to breakfast

together. He would come to my work and see me on my breaks. One night, he went out with his boys and he messaged me that he you know, had an ask and he wanted to come over. Booty call, booty, booty, booty, booty call. Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty.

And then, um, so he came over and he admitted that he was falling in love with me. Oh. booty call. Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty I decided to, oh, let's try drive past this guy's house and connect. But sadly, I couldn't. Oh, so you just let it, you wrote it off? Yeah, I did. You never heard from him on, no, no. Oh my God, connect to the earbuds? You could record yourself being like,

give me my effing earbuds back, and then like connect to them. But no, I didn't want to go further. You know, people who do that, it's not worth any effort. Oh, it's worth a message going to the AirPods, I would. You're better than me do that, it's not worth any effort. Oh, it's worth a message getting the AirPods, I would. You're better than me. Yeah.

Yeah, that's so expensive. Not just three months. Yeah. Yeah. You just can't trust men, eh? You just can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men. You can't trust men.

You can't trust men. what someone has stolen after a hookup. Yeah, there was a girl who went on a date, got her $1,000 shoe stolen, and then he gave them to his girlfriend. Plot twist. Some wild stories coming in. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, what was stolen? Well, I was at uni, and I was living with three boys,

and we were very poor, very, very poor at the time, and we lived on sausages and mints, and one day we decided to spoil ourselves with bacon and cheese. Oh, yeah, boy. Wait, wait, wait. Bacon and cheese sizzlers or bacon and a block of cheese? No, bacon and a block of cheese.

Oh, my God. That's the good life, eh? Somebody dip into their course-related costs. Yeah. Yep, yep. Definitely needed a student loan for that. And, yeah, hooked up with a guy, and next morning the boys went to the fridge

and couldn't get over to how somebody could steal bacon and cheese. Yeah, I nearly got kicked out of the flat. Wait, so you brought a hookup home and he took your bacon and cheese? Yes. Was it streaky bacon or shoulder? Shoulder. You always go shoulder when you're a poor student. Yeah, yeah. I always did shoulder. Was it streaky bacon or shoulder? Shoulder. You always go shoulder when you're a poor student.

Yeah, yeah. I always did shoulder. It's the worst bacon though, isn't it? Hard to get right, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It really is. Devastating. Much more of a pulled pork piece of food. Yeah, Bree, this was a friend.

Good morning, yes. This was a friend in early days of hookups. We're talking year 10, kind of, you know, you're fresh into it, sort of new to the field. And there was a friend who was sort of started dating this guy. It was pretty low-key, and very quickly he came in, like, quite hot. Like, it was too much too soon. He was a little bit sort of, yeah, he was a bit too keen on her.

Desperado. Yeah, desperado. She was keen to sort of cut him early doors, but kind of continued to hook up with him every now and again. And some weird stuff started to happen. Like, she'd come to school and she was missing, she had quite curly hair. She'd come to school after staying the night

at his house and have, like, a huge lock of hair missing. And, like, he still had hair. Yeah, and he'd, like, lose a sock or, like, her hairbrush went missing. And then one day, a nail was chopped. She had quite long nails. What?

It was just really odd. And all these things happened when she was around him or if she'd stay the night or something like that. So she cut him pretty quick. It didn't really last much more than six months. And in high school, the pool was small, right? And so a couple of years later, another friend started dating this guy. He sort of ironed himself out of it.

Yeah, of course. Became a little bit more normal. And this friend was missing something. She had a quick peruse around and found a box. And now I don't know what she was thinking. She opened the box. It's a dangerous thing to do anyway. Yeah.

But she found a shrine, like a full shrine to our other friends. Oh my god. From back in the day, including the lock of hair. Oh, what a creep! The fingernails, a pair of undies. What? This is what serial killers do.

You know on those crime shows? They take something from each victim? Yeah. Did she call him out? Well, yeah, because it had a photo in there. It had her school photo in there, her ID. It was so weird. Oh, my God.

I mean, no names are identifying features, but is this guy normal now, or is he in prison? No, he's so normal now. He's a software developer. I don't know if that counts. Oh, no. They're screen developers. Ser now. He's a software developer. I don't know if that's true. That's great. Serial killer. That's great. I'm free. Wow.

Thank you for freaking us the hell out. A lock of hair? Some messages in. I hooked up with a hot guy in Rarotonga. He took me to the airport as I was leaving and he said just as I was about to get on the plane, he wanted to get a photo with me on my iPhone. So I passed him my iPhone and he said just as I was about to get on the plane he wanted to get a photo with me on my iPhone so I passed him

on my iPhone and he ran away with it. Oh my God. Just ran straight on ran out of the airport. And I was like I've got to get on the flight I can't chase this guy

still with my iPhone. We're going to have to tell Ross Boss about that. He's going to ride Rotonga soon. Yeah, don't have a hook up. for that. Plot twist

we went back six months later and my auntie ambushed him and blew him up for stealing my phone. He was in shock. I didn't expect to see us again. Didn't get the phone back, but it was worth seeing his face. Yeah, that's funny. Okay.

Someone said, keep me anonymous. No problem. I didn't steal, but woke up after a hookup, no one in sight. I was like, aw. You want some morning cuts. Yeah, they've kept it. However, their clothes were left behind. So I was like, oh, they've taken somebody else's clothes.

But myself and the flatmates, no clothes missing. Okay. So I'd love to know if there were any Uber drivers out there in Auckland who picked up an absolute nudie on early Sunday morning because they were left with none of their clothes. What a mystery. Where did they go?

That could be one of those Netflix Unsolved Mystery episodes. Where did he go? Camera footage, you know, security camera footage of him leaving their house. Nerdy, nerdy. Oh my God.

Yeah, lots of people. Oh my God, I had a hookup one night and when I woke up in the morning, the diamond was missing out of my God. Yeah, lots of people. Oh, my God. I had a hookup one night, and when I woke up in the morning, the diamond was missing out of my ring. It was on the bedside table. It was there, the gold frame, but no diamond. He said I must have lost it the night before, but no way. I looked at it when I put it down.

Just, what? How do you even get that out, though? You can get them out. You just tweeze it out. He asked if he could borrow my Jansport backpack just to carry some stuff. And I said, yeah, sure. And he's like, I'll bring it back. And never brought it back.

Very inconvenient to be without a backpack. Yeah. Very inconvenient. Could be people out there, don't you? So many men. Hookup stole the money off our bench. We've been out the night before. It was there because we popped money in

and when we got home it was missing the next morning. So yeah, on the way out of the house he just grabbed a plate full of money. I saw one that just said, I once had a guy steal my pimple cream after staying the night. That's a bugger. Good.

Oh, another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that. Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a

rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.