ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 8th April 2024

Episode Date: April 7, 2024

Top 6: King Charles Sightseeing  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley's Keyboard  Height Differences  FVH Live Recap!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Back after a weekend away. Bryn had an amazing cameo. So good.

At our live show in Auckland. Yeah. On Friday night. Yep. With a delightful cardigan on and a glass of red wine. A glass of red. Yeah. A lovely glass of red.

He is class embodied. He really is. Thank you to everyone who came to our live shows. Yeah. We've got the husk of having spoken all weekend. We do, we do. Definitely got a little husk. How are we at with, where are we at with AI?

Have we got some kind of program that can just... Oh, that can stand in for us today. Yeah, that can just do the show for us. Welcome to Fletch Farm. And hey, I'll lay. Just do that. Yeah. I don't know.

Not there yet. Okay. Get something going, though. Now, you weren't here for this form, but Fletch did suggest a break somewhere in the show for a nap. Yeah it's actually a really good idea. Where we just turn

the microphones on and people hear us having a little sleep. And then alright we're back. Yeah. We could do that. I reckon

so just before the ads before the news at the top of the hour. Oh, yeah. So we get a really good. So we get two songs. Yes. Nap, break. Yeah. Ads, news.

Back. Top of the hour. Yeah, good. Intro thing that can also just be the nap. Okay. Two more songs. Wake up. That's like 25, 20 minutes.

I like that idea. They say that like one of the ideal times for a nap is about 20 minutes, right? Let's do it. All right. It's a good nap time. Well, we'll see how we go. The top six is coming up. Yeah, Prince...

Oh, he's King Charles now. Oh, yeah, he is. Apparently, he's raring to go after his treatment for prostate cancer. Okay. Raring to go, and New Zealand would be on the list of places to visit, which he's been a few times. Yeah, he has. So I've got the top six things you definitely need to see when he gets here.

Okay. Love that. Next on the show, though, great news for those with a urethra. Now, I would say that would be the majority of our listeners. I've got one. Everybody has a urethra. I love that song. Very catchy. Everybody has a urethra. I love that song. Very catchy.

Everybody has a urethra sometimes. Well, this study took nine years. Huge advancement in medical science. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Okay, so if you have, I used to get urine infections

chronically as a kid. Every like fortnight and then I had that kidney operation. You mean like UTIs or urine, like is there a difference? Urinary tract infections. Yeah, same thing. Same thing. Okay, right. Same, same. But I got them chronically and then I had the kidney thing and it kind of sorted them out.

And then I've never had them too badly but, you know, you sometimes get them if you're sexually active. There's lots they had the kidney thing and it kind of sorted them out. And then I've never had them too badly. But, you know, sometimes you get them if you're sexually active. There's lots of frottaging down there. Well, because your boyfriend might have a bad pH. His pH and your pH.

Your vinegar he's baking. Sitting by the fire. Exactly. You don't want that. We knew a girl once she was basically allergic to her boyfriend. Oh, gosh.

He must have been running like quite an acidic penis. Yeah. She's got an alkaline fadge and he's got an acidic penis. Yeah. He could have dipped it in a bit of baking soda every now and then, I reckon. Yeah. Pull it back a bit. I don't know if that would be good, though.

Dipping? No. Baking soda's bloody good for everything. It is good for everything. But some people get them, how do you say it? Recurrently. Yeah. Recurrent UTIs, meaning like chronically getting them all the time. So this has taken nine years to sort of prove that it works.

And it's a spray that you would take. Yeah. Nasally. I seem to think it was oral. Or just liberally on. Oral. Okay. it was Orally Oral Okay An oral spray Oral spray

Sprayed in the mouth As an alternative to Getting UTIs and antibiotics Antibiotics Antibiotics And it can make you UTI free For nine years So it took nine years to go like

Okay let's put all of you guys on this Who keep getting them Nine years And the majority of the participants Remained getting them. Nine years and the majority of the participants remained UTI free. Nine years. Well, well done. Well done science. Good from them. What's it doing

to stop that happening? Does it look like a doctor? Is it like messing with your body in other ways? Well, I mean, most studies wouldn't take nine years. Yeah, it must be safe if it's nine years later. I mean, it's not like they've waited nine years with Ozempic, is it? Do you know what's lovely?

I don't know. That's a very good question. I've never thought about how long Ozempic was going through the trials. Weight loss, though, people are just like, who cares? To hell with the side effects. Yeah. So you take two sprays. It's pineapple flavoured.

Ooh, OK, I'm out. Why? It's the worst artificial flavour. I've got that protein water. It's pineapple flavoured. Ooh, okay, I'm out. Why? It's the worst artificial flavour. I've got that protein water. It's got nothing on fake banana. Fake banana and pineapple are the worst. And strawberry. Fake banana's lovely. I love fake banana.

I've had fake banana all the time. I'll take fake bananas over real bananas. Two sprays of pineapple flavoured spritz under the tongue every day for three months then nine years. Wow. Okay.

Crazy, eh? Science amazing. Speaking of like is this kind of a vaccination, right? It's a vaccine. It is, yeah. We're getting our

flu jabs this week. Yes. The big... The big jab. The big jab. Last year was the first time I ever got a flu jab. Because it was free here at work.

Because it was free. And I've just never, I don't really get that sick that often. So I just took it because it was free. Is this the one that makes your arms sore? I can't remember if I had a dead arm last year. I've got a big gym week this week. That'll be legs day. Legs and abs.

I wonder if Linda Who does our jabs every year Would consider a butt cheek A butt cheek jab Is it a viable vaccination spot? I'd jam it right in the stomach Is that because you want to be working out the arms? You don't want sore arms

I just want to show Linda my bum She doesn't want to show Linda your bum I don't think she wants to see your bum She doesn't want sore arms. I just want to show Linda my bum. She just wants to show Linda your bum. I don't think she wants to see your bum. She doesn't want to see your bum, Linda. She doesn't want to see your bum. White, white bum. Holy hell. Very white.

She's like, your undies are still on. I'll be like, no, no, no, no. That's just how white my bottom is. You've got your Y-fronts on. Yeah. That's flesh. Next on the show, Booking.com have released Where Kiwis Are Searching and Travelling To.

I bet you it's Japan. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Booking.com, the travel website, has released the most searched domestic destinations in New Zealand, the most searched international, and they've released a list. Can I, I want to take a stab. Okay.

Because Japan's like, I feel like everyone I know is going to Japan this year. And it was one of the lists of like the hottest destinations to go in 2024. Should we do, okay, we'll do most searched international destination. That is the fourth. Oh. And that's Tokyo. It's the fourth most searched international destination.

Definitely one of the coolest places I've ever been. It goes London at 10, Hong Kong, Nandi in Fiji. Oh, yeah, beautiful. Is 8. Brizzy is at 7. No thanks. Singapore at 6. It's fine.

Raro at 5. Delicious. Love a bit of Raro. Classic delicious Rarotonga. Tokyo at 4. Melbourne at 3. The Goldie, a family favourite. Yeah.

What are you, turning your nose up? Get better destinations, you know? The Goldie's got it all. Where's Bangkok? Where's? Bangkok is not on the list. Where's Greece? Sydney.

Sydney is number one. We're really looking at Australia. You've got to think, though, it is. It's places that are close to New Zealand cheap. There's a cost of living crisis. Family friendly as well. Yeah, it, it is. It's places that are close to New Zealand cheap. There's a cost of living crisis. Family friendly as well. Yeah, it's family friendly. So, yeah, Sydney taking up the number one most searched international.

Domestically, Auckland was the biggest searched. And I'm thinking all the concerts. We've got lots to do. So many concerts in Jan and Feb this year in Auckland. True, and everyone looking up hotels for those. And everybody looking up hotels and stuff. Wellington was two, Queenstown three, Christchurch next on the list,

Rotorua, Taupo, Tauranga, Paihia, Dunedin and Napier round out the top ten. Actually gorgeous te reo Māori from you just then. Thank you. I tell you what, God, we were in the airport yesterday and someone cranked a Rotorua. Rotorua. Cranked a Rotorua. Like overua. Cranked a Rotorua.

Like over the PA. Bing bong. All right, you're a flight so-and-so to Rotorua. Yeah, I suppose so. Yeah, you're always like, Auckland, really? Because we live here and you're like, oh, God. But it's hotels. Yeah.

Transport. Parking. It's just those things that have been Googled, right? I suppose as well well like if you lived in a different city and then you were going international you might stop off

in Auckland and have a little stay stay KCM a man from he wasn't from New York but he was in New York during the earthquake which is

I saw a graphic of they've had them every now and again like every maybe 7 or 8 or 9 years they get one. Little ones though.

So 4.8 struck New Jersey, which is right next to New York. And this man was from Pennsylvania. He was in New York City for a vasectomy. Was he getting one of those nice ones? Get a little bit of a bougie. What's a nice one? What do you mean? My friend who lives in Mount Maunganui,

he got one in Tauranga that was, you went in, there was jazz playing, he was served a whiskey afterwards, high as a kite. I had the funniest photo

of him being like, I got a snap! And he's got a beautiful whiskey and you pay for a high-end experience. Oh, okay. Ooh la la. Because you still

haven't got yours, have you? No, I haven't. Dude, my dude. My dude. We don't want to have to have you? No, I haven't. Dude, my dude. My dude. We don't want to have to have like... Ooh, like baby Vaughn. Like, yeah, baby's around again.

No, I haven't had sex for years. Oh, yeah, well, that's another way of doing it. Putting a sniff is just... Yeah, yeah. Go for like... What's that called? Hand stuff. Yeah.

That's what I was after. I was about to say, what did the Jonas Brothers do? Abstinence. Abstinence, yeah. Did they abstain? Wow, bullshit. They used to. Oh, and they had rings and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. So he said he was in the middle of that

and the doctor said, and he felt the movement, and the doctor said, I think that might have been an earthquake. And then he just thought the doctor was joking. He said it felt like a really big truck maybe went past quite quickly. And the building just went. Yeah. High rises.

Like going over a speed bump. No, it wasn't even that much of a high rise. Oh, right. I was going to say a rude awakening, but you're awake. It's like a local anesthetic. It's a local, yeah. Yeah. It's a local and sometimes they'll give you a little bit of, was it liquid Valium that I got told somebody had?

That's nice. Just a little in the arm there and then you, ooh, la-di-da. It was funny seeing all of the memes and like even just people like, what? There are earthquakes in New York? I didn't know that. Yeah, people being like, what is an earthquake?

How does it work? What's happening? Are we okay? Whereas we're like, oh that. Yeah, people being like, what is an earthquake? How does it work? What's happening? Are we okay? Whereas we're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Because aren't they far away from any kind of... Miles away. Miles and miles away.

This happens in Aussie every now and again. And England, right? They'll get the odd one. And everyone freaks out. They're like, what? What would happen if you had to abandon ship? Like if it was so big, you know, and you're in the middle of surgery or something.

What about those big earthquakes? Well, I think that's why they make hospitals live up, you know, up to a certain standard of earthquake-proofness so that you don't have to. Imagine being in the middle of like open-heart surgery or something and then the whole building's like quaking and you've got to stop and this dude's asleep. The anesthesiologist has to

bloody make sure he stays asleep. Or you wake up with your body open and everyone's just left because they evacuated. And you just say, hello? I'll bloody close up here, will I? Yeah, give me the needle for God's sake.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Haley. Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. King Charles is apparently rearing to go. He's had this treatment. He's been undergoing treatment. The bloody royals have been having all...

Yeah. Treatment on all levels. And I thought they'd said it was prostate cancer. But apparently it was diagnosed with an undisclosed form of cancer. Okay. But a man of his age. Yeah. I was just like, the prostate's going to get you.

Yeah, it's coming for everyone, isn't it? Well, no, not you. Do I not have a prostate? No, sorry to say. Oh. I know you feel left out, but it is like the thing that makes men die earlier than women. It's like our cervixes. Yeah.

Sitting there, waiting to kill. But cervixes, they're not a time bomb, are they? I remember a doctor once politely told me not to worry too much because prostate cancer will get you anyway. Oh, okay. Oh, you had another illness. Once you turn 50, he said there's a 50% chance your prostate's already gone septic. Oh, that's a good answer. And I said, what can I do to avoid that?

Apparently playing with yourself. That's right. Yeah, you've got to keep it. Oh, yeah. You'll be fine. What's the opposite of prostate cancer? Thriving prostate. What a thriving prostate.

You've got to keep it small. You've got to keep it, you know, exhausted. It's like, you know, what's the old saying about the devil finding work for idle hands? The devil will find a cancer for an idle prostate. So give that thing a hiding. There you go. I don't know if hiding's the word, but that's all right. Maybe not.

But apparently a two-week visit down under is on the plan going forward. Yeah, right. So like an Aussie New Zealand trip. Yeah. So I've got the top six things he'd better see while he's here. Number six on the list, Castle Hill in Canterbury, because it's a castle, but it's not really a castle. It's just rocks.

Oh, yeah. But they look like a castle. Yeah. Do the Dalai Lama called it the spiritual centre of the earth. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Okay. Calm down.

Yeah, I don't know if you'd be that impressed by that formation of rocks if you actually had a castle or two. Multiple castles. You've got multiple castles. Number five on the list of the top six things King Charles should see when he's here. Quasi, that hand statue in Wellington. You know that standing up on top of the buildings in Wellington?

Is that still there? Yeah, it's still there. Is it? What, by the square? Yeah. Should we go and see that? Is that still there? He's quite famous for his hands.

What was the last one? Oh, for one. Is that still there? Is that still there? Civic Square Wellington hand sculpture. It's called Quasi. Yeah. Is it on there?

Quasi. Yeah, I think it's still there. It's got a face on it. Leave a report, please. Wellingtonians, message in. Yeah, if someone could give me an eyewitness report. I did. The hand was still there last summer. It had a coat of paint, as I recall. Yeah, if someone could give me an eyewitness report. I do like it. The hand was still there last time I was there.

It had a coat of paint, as I recall. Oh, okay. With a bit of, because you see it from the ground. Yeah. It's five metres tall. Oh, yeah. Is it? Quasi.

It's a big hand. Well, it's still there, I believe. Okay, I do like it. I like it, too. It's a bit of tongue-in-cheek, isn't it? Yeah, and I'll tell you what, number four on the list while he's in Wellington, he should get in the car and go for a drive-up transmission gully. Oh, because tell you what, number four on the list while he's in Wellington is you should get in a car and go for a drive up

Transmission Gully. Oh, because that's new. That wasn't open last time he was here. It's quite impressive. Apparently it's not great. Apparently it's really full of potholes

and people are actually caning themselves on it. Is it? It's great. We waited a long time for that road. Sit on a money the whole way though.

That's a great change. Am I going to go over it? No. No. Yes. I've been, way, though. That's a great change. Am I going to go over it? No. No. Yes. I mean, it's amazing. It's quite amazing. Yeah, she will when she goes.

From Palmy to Wellington? Oh, no, to the Wairarapa. I'm not going to Wellington. No. No. Oh, no, you'll be going. One day, Hayley, one day you'll get to go on it. Lofty dream.

Lofty goals, actually, of driving it. Beautiful bit of road. Number three on the list of the top six things King Charles needs to see when he's here next. Hobbiton. Always changing. Now they've got the Hobbit holes that are actually full of Hobbits.

How tall is King Charles? He looks tall. He gives long energy. I've never been to Hobbiton so I'd happily go with him. Okay, he's 1.78m. He must wear a heeled shoe. I'm 1.79m.

So for a man, it's not that tall. Yeah, and William's 1.9m. a heeled shoe. I'm 179. So for a man that's not that tall. Yeah, and William's 19. 1.9. So he's a bit taller than I am. Okay, that's interesting. Harry and I are relatively the same height. Just to get even trough. Number two

on the list of the top six things Charles has to see when he's here. But good to see him go down the hill in the Ogo, the Zorb, you know, the giant inflatable ball that tucks in warm water in there. Not at his age.

Get in there. Oh, it's low impact. No, we can't have it. It's low impact. Slide around. You want to kill the king in a plastic ball in Rotorua?

Oh, you have a bloody time of his life. No, it's safe as houses. We've done it loads. Get the water in there. Get the warm water in there. It's so great. Get him in his umbies,

do you reckon, or would he do it in the full suit? I reckon he'd do it in his, he'd have Y-fronts. He'd be Y-fronts. He'd be a Y-fronts man. White, traditional drop. Traditional, brief style Y-fronts. Who buys the king his undies?

Well, it would be someone's job, wouldn't it? What, to pop to farmers? Yeah, when they're having a special. Go to farmers. What's the big department store? Harrods. Oh, Harrods. Yeah.

King Charles will wear his grandfather George VI's underpants from the coronation in 1937, which are almost 90 years old. Ew, what? That was a story. No. No. Okay, no, that was a lie. Was it a lie? Okay, I was going to say. A wasp will be put

into the pants, reflecting His Majesty's affection for the natural world. Sorry? I think that sounds like a, uh, yeah. Prince William prefers boxes, but is willing to wear briefs. Okay. That's one of the other articles. These questions have been asked before. Of course. And number one on the list of the

top six things King Charles should see while he's here at the Hutton Sausage Factory. It's where the sizzlers are made. Let's face it, the old didgies look a little bit like sizzlers, don't they? Look a little bit like sizzlers. That's today's top six. Okay, look, I didn't give you a heads up that I was going to ask

this question and now we're live on air, but I'm going to ask you, have you ever peed into a cup in an emergency? No. I don't think so. I think I've just pulled over on the side of the road and... Sprinkled, had a tinkle. Yeah, and wazzed. I've never peed into an emergency vessel, I don't think.

I've come close when I've been in traffic on the LA freeway when it was... And being like, what am I going to do? And being like, where are the toilets? But I didn't even have a cup. Like, I was just... That would have just been going. Could you wang out the window? No, like, there was literally nowhere to pull over.

Was it quite standstill or was it moving? It was moving but slow. I just would have pulled over and gone on the side of the road. And just nowhere to go. And you get in trouble. You're like, I'm sorry. In New Zealand, you're allowed to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm foreign, I'm foreign. Yeah. Well, there is a man who has been banned and fined from Air New Zealand flights because he flew from Auckland to Sydney and then they landed, but there wasn't a gate ready. So they had a 20- minute holding on the tarmac before he could disembark the plane. Now, I don't know. There's toilets on the plane.

So I don't know why. Just get up and go. But was everybody standing up and blocking the aisles? Because, you know, everyone. No, if you've got a 20 minute, you're sad. You're sad and you just have to say the thing. Are you allowed to use the toilets? Yeah, I've used the toilets.

Sometimes they're a bit meh about it, but I've just been like, well, I need it. It's an emergency. Yeah, okay. Well, instead of saying, I'm so sorry, it's an emergency, I have to go. Yeah. He was caught by a woman and her daughter

who heard the sound, the familiar sound of a tinkle and this gentleman was peeing into a cup, his water cup, that he'd had during the flight. Dare I say it would overflow a standard Air New Zealand disposable water cup. I reckon I'd fill three. Yeah. I'd need a transition from one to the next. If you think about their water cup or even their coffee cup.

Would that be enough that you wouldn't be busting if you got rid of a car? I couldn't stop, though. I can't halfway stop. You know, I like to release just a bit of the pressure off. Yeah, right. Sometimes just into the pants, you know. A bit. Just an adventure.

No, not me. I can't. No. Okay. That's bought me five more minutes. So he peed into the car. Now, he was drunk. He was intoxicated.

Oh, right. Okay. So he boarded the flight, probably had a few bloody Kuru bloody wines, you know. A couple of wines at the bar at the airport. Exactly. And then like got onto the thing and then maybe had like a drink on the thing. He was intoxicated. So

as he left, he disembarked the plane holding his oh, I don't know. Where he was met by security, fined 600 Australian dollars. And then when they, you know, the media reached out to Air New Zealand for comment, they said they never, flat rule, they never comment on isolated incidents. Right. But that they ban between five and 10 customers a month for disruptive behaviour including intoxication. What?

Five to 10 a month. Also, like, that's fine if all you're doing is going between New Zealand and Australia because there are other airlines. But if you're flying around New Zealand... Domestically. Domestically, regionally... You're somewhat limited.

You're screwed. You're driving. How long does the ban last for? Is it a time limit or is it a life ban? Maybe it's based on the thing. I had a friend that got blacklisted for a year from Air New Zealand. Why? This was like maybe 15 years ago.

And he was travelling with work and his friend went through the security buzzer. Yeah. And it beeped and he said, she's got a gun. Oh. Made a, yeah, you don't joke about that. You don't joke about that. And they just went, no, arrested him. Took him to, I know, terrible.

And then he got this blacklist from flying. But I don't know if it was one airline specifically, or if it was all airlines or something. But it was a disaster. A lot of road trips for him then. Yeah, yeah. And he didn't drive. So it was like literally the worst. He didn't drive. Yeah. We lived in Wellington. His family was in Rotorua. But it was a disaster. A lot of road trips for him then. Yeah, yeah, and he didn't drive. So it was like literally the worst.

He didn't drive? Yeah, we lived in Wellington. His family was in Rotorua. He worked in Auckland. He was big on Intercity after that. He loved the bus. Never made that mistake again. No.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little poe Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole, dealing with breakups and how you handle it on social media, I guess.

Yeah, do you unfollow straight away or do you just leave them there? No, you do that thing where you delete all existence that they ever were part of your lives and so it's super glaringly obvious to everybody

that you've broken up with them. Yes. The people that do that as well have so many photos of their partner. Like on my Instagram, I think there's like

three photos of Aaron. It'd be a quick delete. No one would even notice. Easy purge. Yeah. But you know when you like, when everyone's gossiping like, are they over? Are they over?

And then you go to their Facebook and you're like, it's over. They've deleted them. And then they get back together and they've deleted the photos. So it's too late to re-add them, I guess. Yeah, you should. If on Facebook, just change that to the privacy setting, only me. Yeah. So only you can see the photos.

So then if you get back together, it's a quick fix. Yeah. Instagram, I don't have a quick fix for you. You can archive photos. Yeah. So only you can see the photos. So then if you get back together, it's a quick fix. Yeah. Instagram, I don't have a quick fix for you. You can archive photos. Yeah. But you want to keep the photo, but you don't want it on your grid? Archive. And can you put it back on the grid after it's been archived?

I think so. Yeah, I think you can. Fascinating. Silly little poll. When do you unfollow an ex after a breakup? Right away? Give it some time. I'm still following.

The winner is right away with 48%. Wow. Second is give it some time with 32%. Right. I feel like there's a difference if you're hurt, if they cheated, if it's a bad breakup, it's right away. If it's a long-term relationship of 10 years and it's amicable or something like that.

Coming to a close. Yeah, totally. Then, eh. When I broke up with my first boyfriend we were on MySpace days and he did a post on his page saying how

much he loved me and how much we'd always be friends and then softly removed that I think over the next couple of months. Did you get out of the top 10 friends? I was out of his top 8. Yep. Shuffled. Wow. Shuffled. No Bebo love

for you. No. Give it some time. 32%. Still following? 20%. Oh wow. Okay. People hanging in there. Well for two reasons. Maybe you can remain amicable as discussed or you want to see what that son of a bitch is up to. Yeah. And who that skank is that he's been hanging out with.

Who's this? Tiana says, almost two years since the breakup and we still follow each other slash view stories for no apparent reason. Lol. P.S. He's still very boring. Good to know.

Good to know. Good to know that he's boring. He's not changed it up since you left each other. Tabby says, A cat. A tabby cat. A cat listening each other. Tabby says... A cat. A tabby cat. I've got a cat listening. Yeah.

Tabby's. Straight away, I don't need to go see how fat they get. Oh, yeah. Okay. Wow. No, but it's normally the other way around. They lose heaps of weight. And you're like, wait, you're getting all hot now?

Yeah. This isn't fair. Amy, still following only so they can see how cool and hot I am. Yeah. Let a girl be petty. I'm only human. Yeah. Yeah.

That's fine, Amy. That's fine. Kate says, if they did me dirty, unfollow right away. If I did them dirty, also right away. If it was mutual or love, no need to unfollow. Yeah. I like how Kate there didn't just say, is the other person possible of doing a dirty? She might do some dirty.

She said, look, I'm also capable of this horrendous act. Briar, you've got to do it right away, otherwise you end up torturing yourself by daily check-ins on what they're doing. Yeah, good call. And then you can't follow them because you've got to request again. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. That's a little poem. Next on the show. The dinner trend that is on the rise in America. And you're on board with this. Did it last night. Play ZM's Fletch Vorn and Hayley.

Americans are going out to dinner earlier than ever before. So apparently like between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. it was currently 10% of bookings are in that time. Americans do everything later in the evening. Their primetime television hours don't start until way later. Yeah, totally. It's nuts and they eat late.

I know, all their late shows, eh? When we watch the late show with whoever, you're always like, oh yeah, because we watch it when we watch it. But it's always on at like midnight. Yeah, yeah. So it used to be 5%. It's doubled since 2019 in like those early bookings.

Do you think it's because places like First Table? Love First Table. First Table. I always forget about First Table. I feel like it had this big kind of thing when it started. Yes, we all got it. And then it kind of, there was a, maybe COVID kind of, there was a lull, but now

I feel like more and more people are talking about it. If you don't know what it is, it's like, it's in an app, eh? Website or something, yeah. And you go on and you've got a membership and you can get discounted meals between their quiet hours, which are usually early, like five. Like up

until like six or seven. Yeah, five to 6.30 or something. So good. So they're doing this, and there's a number of theories. They think, one, because more Americans work from home, you kind of wind up your day maybe a little bit earlier. You're not like then travelling from work to home. Yeah.

Then getting changed. Yeah. You sort of finish at five. You're like, well, that's my day. We could go to dinner now. Let's go to dinner. Another thing is like, well, that's my day. We could go to dinner now. Let's go to dinner. Another thing is that, well, I don't know

if people know this, but it can be good for you to eat earlier. Like health wise, they're saying like, once you kind of get it all done, good for the digestive system, eating earlier.

Well, your body needs that fasting while you're sleeping. Yeah. So if you're finished eating at seven o'clock Seven Give me a break Seven o'clock Give me a break He loves a snack

I love a lady snack Do you reckon if you had dinner at five If you had dinner at five I'm definitely You'd be having another one I'm gonna go to bed early Otherwise I'm snacking I'm snacking around 8.30

Where's my snack? I eat at like four I have a massive dinner And then I don't eat Until like I get to work the next You eat at four Four or 4.30. See, I eat at like 4. I eat at like 4. I have a massive dinner and then I don't eat until I get to work the next. You eat at 4. 4 or 4.30, yeah. Me and Aaron did this yesterday. It was 4 o'clock and I was like, oh, should we go to the pub for dinner?

Daylight savings. Yeah. And I was like, I could go pretty soon to be fair. We held out to 5 just to make it feel like dinner. That was daylight savings. But that was daylight savings for sure. But I love an early din. Because then it does kind of push you to go to bed earlier,

which is always going to be good for you. Because you're like, well, I've eaten. I guess I have a shower. Now what? What, are we just going to hang around? Are we going to talk? Because I'm also a let's go out and drink earlier. You know, if your friends and that are going.

Because then you're home earlier. Even if you get carried away, the next day you're not going to feel as bad. If you get carried away but it's 8 o'clock, you're in bed at 10. Waking up at 7, you've had 9 hours of sleep. That's the good stuff. Okay, look. We did the live shows over the Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

Okay, look. We did the live shows over the weekend, didn't we? And we had a blast. And as part of it, I played a song. I wrote a song for you guys. And I played it live. It was a Hayley's version. We did consider putting it on air.

A lot of the lyrics. I would have had to have changed quite a bit. I would have lost the lyrics. I would have had to have changed quite a bit. I would have lost the spice. I was very well known because Vaughan and I had not heard, you'd kept it a secret from us. Yes. And the first time we heard it was on stage in Auckland. Yeah, yeah.

And I was blown away. A few shocking revelations. Very, very funny. But it's not for on air. No. But as part of playing it, we had the piano there. Actually, I saw a clip as well That someone took

Vaughan played the piano With me on stage Live at Christchurch Yeah Yeah We played Chopsticks Well

I didn't know Chopsticks was a duet Yeah He was playing Chopsticks On my piano Just being a fool And I said Did you know that's a duet

And I jumped on the bass part And he said I've never sounded better And we said Well We've had a couple of drinks. Why don't we do this in front of 1,500 people? Yeah.

And so we did. But as part of it. I feel like you were doing the heavy lifting there. Oh, yeah. I'm the bass. The heavy lifting is the right hand. He did all the hard stuff. But I had to take my piano down to Christchurch.

And it's a mere, isn't it? It's massive. It's heavy. It's long. Is it nearly a mare, isn't it? It's massive. It's heavy. It's long. Is it nearly two metres long? No. No. A metre and a half.

Yeah, a metre and a half probably. Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit shorter than me and I'm 179. Okay. So, yeah, well, maybe 160. But it means when you check it in at the airport, you've got to go to that special baggage drop-off. That's not the hard bit.

And then it doesn't come out the conveyor belt. It's got to come out the door. The special door. The special door. And then you've got to try to wedge it into an Uber. And how many Ubers did it go in? One, two, three, yeah, maybe four or five different Ubers around Christchurch.

And it's a mare. I've done it lots. And some Uber drivers are like, oh, yeah, no problem. Flip a seat. Yeah, flip one of the down seats. Push the front seat forward a little bit if needed. But some of them, the seat couldn't come down. I know.

We had no room. So I've had people strap it in the front like a human, next to the driver. Yeah, like that, that works. I've had the flip, which we did a lot. We did piano on the single seat flip, two of us crammed in the back, one in the front, driver, driver. But then some of the drivers have a nice Uber, have a nice car,

and they don't want you flopping the seat down and scraping it through the back. Yeah, you can see the look on their face. It's not a happy one. When we left the theatre to drop it back at the hotel before searching for a bar to drink in, that guy didn't like that I was flipping

down the seats. No. And I was tired and I'd had enough and I was like, trust me? And he was like, no, no, no,

that's not going to fit. And I was like, shut up basically. It will. And then, so there was one trip though where I had said to the producers,

I've got to go get my hair done and then get to the theatre later than you. And Car was like we'll take it to the theatre and I said thank you and Carwen and Shannon uh you jumped into an uber with the keys yeah and you made the offer like I was like it's fine it fits into an uber here's how you do it flip down the seat slide her in yeah and look he gave me a look when I rolled it out. They do, they give you a look. And Shannon looked down and she said, oh, an aqua. And as an aqua owner, we went, hmm.

It's not going to fit. It's not long enough. So instead of flipping down that front passenger seat, as we suggested, he said, no, no, no, no, no. You sit in the back seat. I'll pop it across your legs. And I went, hon, it's not wide enough. It's wider than your car. And he said, I've got this.

It starts rolling down the window. It's out the window at this stage. I loved it was out the window. It was out the window. And then we were like, do we tell Hayley? Because this is your baby and we didn't want you to be stressed out. So we were like, we won't tell her. I want to say, it's not a cheap instrument. So we were like, we won't tell her until it's to say, it's not a cheap instrument. So we were like, we won't tell her till it's there safe

and then we can all laugh. Ross comes along with his phone and sends you a photo immediately. And I was just saying, like, the girls are, like, underneath it. It's, like, at eye level coming out the window. He would have been driving with this, like, overhang. You know, like, you'd need a flag. I think we, like, with a trailer. Probably 30 centimetre ruler

Out the window Very short distance though Less than 5 minutes Happy ending, it made it And I appreciate everyone putting up with it It was really the 7th member to our team of 6 Wasn't it? Next on the show, a woman has gone viral

For all the questions That she has to answer about her really tall boyfriend. Because she's quite small. Because she's quite slight. She's quite slight. She's quite petite. She's quite small. You know I have umbrage with short girls with tall boys.

She'd be shorter than your keyboard. She's keyboard high. Now, I've got a big boyfriend He is 6'6 Oh one of our live shows eh 6'9 Yeah Friday night 6'9

Friday night Like that Didn't like me He liked the men didn't he Yeah Anyway there is One for the boys One for the boys

Now there is I guess you call her an influencer She lives her life online Yeah influencer One for the boys. Now there is, I guess you call her an influencer. She lives her life online. Yeah, influencer. Hot show off. Is she trying to influence us? She's trying to influence us to be hotter and have a better life. Good luck.

Right. Anyway, she's five foot two. I call that petite. Yeah. That's little. And her boyfriend is seven foot tall. So she gets asked a lot of questions about the 20

inch height difference between her and her partner. Because you wouldn't get the, you've got a tall boyfriend but I'm a tall boyfriend as well. You're also tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think is fair that I get a big one because I'm a big one. That's right because

Hayley has this thing where she gets upset when short girls have really tall boyfriends because they should be yours. I don't have... And that's only for you. I think as well, because I like the big boys, where, like, I've been with shorter men before

and it's fine. Like, I don't think there's a rule where tall women have to be with tall men. But as a woman who loves a big boy, when I see a big boy with a little girl, not a little girl, a short woman, I'm always like, you know, leave

them for us. Leave them for us, because you could go get a lovely petite boy, you know, and that would be fun. Short kings for short queens. Leave the short, yeah, exactly. Then their children will be shorter and the tall people's children will be taller and then we're just going to get further and further apart.

Oh my God, the gap in equality. Yeah, I think tall people should exclusively be with short people. That's why I think white people should exclusively be with not white people. So we have just a lovely melting pot. Yeah. Are you saying what we need? Is a great big melting pot. Big enough.

Tall, short, brown, whites, everything. Everything. Yeah, okay. Chuck it all in there. That's a great bit. Are you saying what we need? Is a great big melting pot. Big enough. Tall, short, brown, whites, everything. Everything. Yeah, okay. Chuck it all in there. That's a great idea. Anyway, I think we should hear from our listeners about their height relationships. You know, their varying height differences

in their relationships. Because surely we've got some short boys with some tall girls, some tall girls with some short girls. And vice versa. And the questions you always get asked. Yeah, because this influencer is sick of it, eh? She's just like, stop asking.

I mean, what do you think is the number one question she gets asked? How does that, where do you, how do you, when do you, are you face to face when you're, because we're, you know. Yeah. That'd be one of the main questions. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800 dials at M. Give us a call now.

You can text her as well. 9696. Do you have a massive height difference in your relationship? And what are the questions you always get asked? Ashley, good morning. Good morning. How tall are you and how tall is...

Or is this your friend? This is my friend. Okay. So my friend is six foot something. Okay. Like, I don't quite know exactly how tall, but six foot something anyway. Right. And we were in high school and he was dating a girl who was not quite five foot tall.

Jeepers. Wow. Yeah, and there was a day where he dropped her off to the science classroom, as you do when you're in high school, and he had to bend literally in half to kiss her goodbye. Fold at the waist. You've got to fold at the waist. Yeah. Amazing, Ashley.

Thank you. We're hearing so many of these stories, the height difference in your relationship. Huge discrepancy. Somebody said, I'm a centimetre taller than my partner, and I never let him forget it a what?

a centimetre and I often talk about what it's like to be a tall girl with a short king even though there's one centimetre just to make sure

he never forgets I'd spike my hair I'd spike my hair as well and I'd wear a clog yeah as the gentleman I'd chuck a clog on

I'm five foot. My husband is six foot three. Yes, so you've got to leave him. You've got to leave him. You've got to leave the big boys. Leave the big boys for Hayley. But no, not all the girls. Just for Hayley the girl.

Okay. I'm five foot three. My husband's six foot three. I'm eight years older. Oh, wow. We always get told we're in an unusual looking couple. Now, who's saying that? That's a weird thing to say out loud.

That's something when you walk away. But oh my gosh, we're in an unusual looking couple. You don't say to the person, my gosh, aren't you an unusual looking couple? I know. Man, some people have no chill, eh? Can we read this one? Can we read this one? I'm going to do it.

Hey, guys. I'm six foot nine. My girlfriend's five foot two. I'm 140 kgs. She's 56 kgs. Wow. We've got a big boy on our hands and a petite lady. We've been asked a few times, how does, quote, it fit?

Little do they know, I've got a small pecker. Imagine being six foot nine. Everyone's expecting you are packing it. Yeah, but it works. But also, who's asking that question? I know, who's going up to me like, you know, don't ask that. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Gold, we had a lovely performance of that song by Vaughan in studio. Well, the song said it's all about confidence, so I was just confidently singing it.

You're singing it. She's out of my league. It's just getting better and better and better. Stop it. Great. We're talking about height differences in relationships We sure are And hearing what like questions and stuff you get asked

Yeah Because people are pretty like focused on that sort of thing People are quite forthright aren't they? They're quite Yeah They just ask don't they? I'm a six foot woman Says this text

Okay I'm a six foot woman and my boyfriend's five foot eight He finds he gets respect from other guys when they find out he's dating a six foot woman and my boyfriend's five foot eight. He finds he gets respect from other guys when they find out he's dating a six foot woman. Some weird alpha male thing I assume. Right, maybe.

What you've got there is a man who has conquered more inch of woman than he has inches. To himself. To himself. Yeah. He's conquered something

beyond his usual scale. Because every heterosexual man will have an inch per woman, won't they? A ratio. Yeah. I've got a low inch per woman. You've got a low. You're low. An inch per woman.

Woman per inch. Woman per inch, yeah. Woman inch per inch. Woman inch per inch. I don't know how many inches I've conquered. You're doing well in the ratio because Aaron's so much taller than you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been with some tall people and some medium people.

Not a lot of petite people. Not a lot of small folk. Something I'm describing hobbits. Have you been with any hobbits? I don't believe I've been with many hobbits. Somebody else said, I'm a tall girl with a short king. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years. I'm almost six foot.

He's five, seven. Let's say I can never wear heels and he's a sassy little thing. Now I hoped he probably didn't wake up today imagining that his six foot. Yeah. Uh, partner, long-term partner was going to describe him as a sassy little thing. Yeah. On the radio. What a way to describe your man.

Yeah. Um, um, a sassy little thing. on the radio. What a way to describe your man. Yeah. A sassy little thing. Now I'm just imagining him being a sassy little thing. I'm 5'1 and my kid's dad is 6'6. Our 13-year-old is now far taller than me at 5'9. Wow. That would be weird when your kids get taller than you. Yeah.

I love this. My great-grandparents were 6'6 and 4'9 respectively. Oh my goodness. We've been closing the gap in height ever since. Yeah. I love this. My great-grandparents were 6'6 and 4'9 respectively. Oh, my goodness. We've been closing the gap in height ever since. Yeah. Just like for generations. You're flattening it out a bit. Because as a whole sort of like species, we're getting taller

because of the nutrition and the developmental. The fly hormones in our soy milk. The people of Holland. Big boobs. Yeah. The Netherlands used to be one of the shortest nations. But now they're the developmental. The fly hormones and our soy milk. The people of Holland. Big boobs. The Netherlands used to be one of the shortest nations. But now they're the tallest. And now they're excessively tall

because the nutrition got better and they shot past everybody. They didn't outlaw sleeping with small people. Oh, they might have actually. They might have had a role. Shipped off the small people to another small land.

No, apparently it was all to do with their nutrition. Okay. As it got more widespread, they like shot past everybody. Yeah. Okay. Well, there you go. There's tools, there's shorts, there's everything in between.

Well, we were away this weekend and I decided to be a company woman and save the company money. Okay. By parking my car at the airport and then driving both of you guys home. Saving three Ubers. Saving three Ubers. I mean technically Vaughan and I could have shared but that would have been a more expensive Uber. Yeah.

Because I'd divert off from the path to Vaughan's. You're a company woman. I know, thank you. So we loaded up the car yesterday. Now, a couple of complaints on the way, the drive. Yeah. There is, okay. When there is a lane that is dedicated to going to one exit

and people use it to overtake a bunch of people and then cut into the lane, you will feel my wrath behind you. I thought it was wrath. No, it's wrath. No, it's wrath. No, broth is the soup. Yeah, that's why I wonder why she's throwing her soup at them.

No, wrath. Wrath. In Shakespearean time, it's wrath. No, you're thinking of Tim Roth. Is this not Shakespearean time? This isn't 1600s England. I'll change my Roth to wrath. Very confused.

It's wrath. Now that I'm in 2024. I say wrath. W-R-A-T-H. Wrath. It depends on the dialect of English of the speaker. Many British English speakers would pronounce it as Roth, whereas American English would pronounce it as wrath.

Yeah, and we base our English on British English. It's Roth. Anyway, you will feel my Roth and Rath up your anus. I drove quite aggressively to let a guy know that I wasn't appreciating him. Then there was a couple of aggressive overtakes once we ditched Fletch as well. Yeah, I think next time I'll just get the work over, I think. People driving 80 in an 80, we all know that that 80's 100. Do you know what I mean?

Like that one bit. Anyway, I always get nervous when people are in my car because my playlists are a bit off. It's either, I'll say it, audio erotica, which I'm going to quickly turn off when you guys get in the car. Which I've heard a bit of tail end of... A tail end of some hot... It's weird that you drive along listening to audio erotica. I know.

Like, you're on the motorway. Like, when you drive down the motorway, you don't think other people are listening to that kind of thing. I'm getting steamy. You think they're listening to music. Nope. Or a podcast. Or a podcast, yeah.

I'm a big podcast alone driving guy, but not erotica. I'm off the podcast at the moment, other than Fletch, Fawn and Hayley's podcast. Great podcast. I listen to that every day, but not erotica. I'm off the podcast at the moment, other than Fletch, Fawn and Hayley's podcast. Great podcast. I listen to that every day on iHeartRadio. But I was like, right, I need to get a playlist going that's acceptable to everyone that's in the car because the three of us have very different tastes in music.

So I put on like a sort of AI generated one that kind of tries to curate a list of songs they think you would have listened to years ago. Judging by what you listen to now. Judging by what you listen to, stuff you would have listened to years ago. Now I put it on and it was a real mix of metal and hip hop. One song came on that is literally

the most crass Eminem song ever. Hayley's like, do you know this song? I was like, I'veass Eminem song ever. Yep. Hayley's like, do you know this song? I was like, I've never heard this song before. So I cranked it for him. And the lyrics are full noise. His jaw hit the floor. Then some like old metal came on, a bit of emo.

We were kind of loving it. Jimmy Eat World. And then we were jamming along to this podcast. Alien Ant Farm came on. We all enjoyed that. And then the next song that came up was this. Hot potato, hot potato. Hot potato, hot potato. Yeah, you're a mess.

You've got to sort your playlists out. I was like what? I mean we listened to it from start to finish. It was a fantastic song. It's a great song to drive to. Yeah. I was like how did this get on there? I don't have kids. I've never played it for other people's kids. Yeah. This is why we can't trust AI yet.

It's not there. It's rogue, man. It's rogue. But it wasn't wrong because we loved it. Oh, yeah, that's true. She skipped lots of songs. I was skipping a bit. Did not skip Hot Potato.

Yeah, fair call. I mean, you were into it. I was into it. Why not? But I tell you what, that was the most cooked playlist yet. It was a really weird playlist. Eminem, Marilyn Manson, and The Wiggles' Hot Potato. Great way to get home on a Sunday, though.

Yeah, crazy. It was wild. It says a lot about you, doesn't it? It speaks volumes. Congratulations to the two people who messaged in and guessed the exact Eminem song that I was so appalled to hear for the first time yesterday I cannot believe those lyrics

We just shared some of them to Fletch and he is aghast Wow Look, I didn't select the song Hey, I did Today it would be fair to say that we are shells of human beings God, we're shattered But for good reason, to be fair Because we had just the best time

in our live shows, celebrating 20 years of Fletch and Vaughan. But now it's good to get the show back more focused towards me. You know what I mean? It's good.

Congrats, 20 years. Now it's like, well, you know. Yeah, right. People are saying, though, next year you guys have to do a Yardie. Yeah. Yeah, for 21 years.

No, but Auckland at the Civic and Christchurch at the Isaac. So many people came, and thank you so much. It was amazing. We had the best time listening to some honestly outrageous stories from you two over the last 20 years. Yeah. Good times. Of the cooked things that you guys have done.

And so many of the people that were like, I remember that. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. It's a long time. A lot of celebration of you getting Toto's Africa to number one. Yeah.

We had an audience sing along. If you go on our social medias, there's some social medias. If you go on the social medias, all of the medias that are social, there's such a great video of Vaughan sort of conducting the Christchurch audience to create an African landscape of thunder, lightning, rain.

Yeah, that was good. In Christchurch, that was good. Because if you came to Auckland, we did the patting of the legs to make it sound like it was raining. But in Christchurch, we were patting on the legs and then the middle section, they'd flash their phone flashes on and off. Yeah. And made thunder and lightning noises.

And then the top floor did animal noises. I will say, I didn't really hear the animal noises too much there. Yeah. There wasn't a lot of commitment from the top level with animals. Top tier. Yeah, they let that down. I think I heard a cat and I don't know if you... Well, there are cats.

I mean, there are, but big cats. Yeah. I also got absolutely reamed by one of our listeners calling me out for my delete all approach to Instagram DMs. Came up and was like, I've DMed you quite a lot. And I was like, delete all. She's like, it's not on. Just know when you DM me...

She's not a man of the people. She's not a man of the people. We watched you do it yesterday. Yeah, it's just overwhelming. Which was weird because's not a man of the people she's not a man of the people we watched you do it yesterday yeah it's just overwhelming which was weird because there was a couple of compliments there and I thought you would've

gone through and had those but you didn't you just deleted with the compliments because you were like look this is how it's done and I saw like nice

couple of nice words to start the messages and then they were all so where do you get your deleted messages where do they go they're gone now you know how if you go

into your DMs it says filter. Maybe I could put a compliments filter. You could put in nice words. I could put in words like great, talented, beautiful. Sure. Yeah. And it will filter out all of the men that hit on you. I'll say that I've gone

quiet. And when I used to be, when I first started working in entertainment and I'd be inundated with men hitting on me, I was always like, ooh, get a grip, you pests. And now that it's gone quiet, I feel a bit like, oh, some of you could come back. Oh, Lord, it's ending, oh, but you don't know what you've got

till it's gone. Hey, paradise, put up a parking lot. Ooh, pop, pop, pop. Yeah, my paradise was men hitting on me about how attractive I am. Yeah. And the parking lot is women just with compliments. Now, I like potentially both those things. Yeah, look, thank you to everybody that came to the live shows. Really appreciate it.

Because lots of people are putting up their photos from the meet and greets. And I think we've just got a bit of a stopwatch on who gets COVID first. Because we did hug, I reckon, about a thousand people face to face. So yeah, we'll see how the week goes. I did a cough last night and I was like, oh. I cleared my throat in the Kauri lounge yesterday

and we were all like, oh. That was the first. She's first. I got a swollen hand today. It's gone down a bit now. Yeah, you do. You're like sausage fingers. No, it wasn't too much in the fingers.

It was really between the knuckles. It's all, it's like a giant hand, isn't it? I mean, we did go out in Christchurch and you were swinging fists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you, okay, yeah. Did you sleep on it? Maybe I slept on it funny. I wasn't out last night.

And then we did have a lot of hotel room downtime. Also, just sounds like. Maybe your hand's just a bit like, oh, jeep, it's creepy. Sounds like you're setting up a couple of days off. This is classic Smithy. For a sore hand. No, no, no, no. For the hand, I can come in with the hand.

Okay. Oh, I can't talk. Look at that. Oh, my hand's sore. I can't talk. Fact of the day is next. Do we I can't talk. Look at that. Oh, my hand's sore. I can't talk. Oh. Fact of the day is next. Do we have a theme this week?

We do. I just can't remember what it was. Oh, well, stay tuned. It's a bit like that. TVs. Oh, TVs. Oh, great. TVs.

I think I've made a huge mistake. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. TV's this week at Fact of the Day. That's the theme. Okay. TV's. You remember on Friday when we were talking about 20 years ago,

like what was happening, and I said 20 years ago, TVs started being flat and more affordable. Yeah. Not just for the rich. So somebody sent me this saying they were kind of like, that's right, that's what happened. They did a Google. Yeah.

They did a little Google. I think it's they done a Google. They done a Google. Yep. And you might find this article fascinating. And I said, I find that fascinating. And I jumped and I maybe have got a little bit excited and said the whole week's going to be facts about the TVs.

It could be about TV and then you could do TV shows. TV shows. This is specifically about TVs. Okay. In 2004, the average size Of televisions Was 25 inches Okay The average size Television was 25 inches

And they They take the measurement Diagonally across the screen Right Corner to corner Yes yes yes Corner to corner Left corner to bottom right

Yeah Top left to bottom right That's 63 centimetres Okay Diagonally Was how big that was It's small isn't it It's small isn't it

It's a smaller TV. So, no thanks, pop-up ad. And in 2019. Oh, what's it selling? I don't know. It blurred and it didn't load. It was one of those ones that didn't load for ages. And then the X to shut it down came up before I actually saw what the ad was.

I call that a failure in the digital landscape. In 2019, the average screen size was 47 inches. Okay. Now that's nearly double, not quite. And in 2004 when those TVs were being sold and the average size was 25 inches only 7% of

TVs sold in 2004 were flat panel televisions. Still a massive representation of what we call CRTs. They were so expensive, weren't they? Yeah, like, flat screens, bro. Yeah, the early flat screens.

Insane. A couple of grand for like 32 inches or 40 inch. Well, that's what, and then, so if we go back to 2004, the average selling price

of a television was $552. Right. Because CRTs were such a cheap way to buy a television back then. Now, in 2019, the average selling price was $336 per television,

but you'll remember they've doubled in size. Yeah. So they've done a square inch per, dollars per square inch. Oh, yeah. Dollars per square inch of viewing. Yep. In 2004, you were paying $2.15 per square inch. Okay.

In 2019, you were paying $0.39 per square inch. Okay. In 2019, you were paying 39 cents per square inch. Holy. That's just how much it's changed. And do you have the latest average inches? Because that was what, 20? That was 2019. I don't have a more. Because I don't want to brag.

I reckon it would have gone up heaps in those six years too. Yeah. I've got 65. I've got 65. Oh, do you? I could go. Oh, I've got a 75. I've got a lot of wall.

I could go. You could go bigger. I think I could go bigger too. got a lot of wall. I could go... You can go bigger. I think I could go bigger too. I think mine's just right. Because I don't have a lot of depth in my lounge. You don't want to have to push your couch back if you go too big. Yeah, I'm almost to the wall. I've actually got New Zealand figures.

Oh, fantastic. This is fantastic. So in 2019, we were about the same. In 2020, 48. And you remember when everybody was stuck at home and like... In lockdowns. In lockdowns and stuff. And they're like, you know, if we could get a bigger TV.

Yeah, because you just sat there looking at it every day. It jumped up to 50 inches in 2022. Nice, nice. Those one o'clock press conferences looked high definition. Yeah, we got to look Cindy in the eye. Tell us what's happening. Kept them looking tight. And then last year, it did drop off a little bit.

Oh, okay. Maybe some smaller televisions purchased. Penny pinching. Cost of living crisis. Maybe. Dropped down to 48-inch average in 2023 for New Zealand televisions purchased. Because, again, you can't go too big. Otherwise, you have to move your couch back,

and people don't have that kind of room. No. Yours is too high. No, my TV's not too high. Vaughan's TV's way too high. My TV's mounted too high, but we did it purposefully so we can sit at the kitchen table and still see over the couch. If it was low, no.

It's like that much too high. Yeah, you're going to have neck issues. Nope, no neck issues. Your family's going to look like this. No neck issues. They will. Who are we with No neck issues. Your family's going to look like this. No neck issues. They will. Who are we with the Smiths? No one's going to look like that

because if you're sitting too close, you're on the beanbag, so you're naturally reclined. Or if I lie on the floor, I like to lie on the floor. It's embarrassing how high it is. One pillow under the head, prop the head up a little bit.

He's just digging his toes in because it's hardwired into the wall. It's as high as a basketball hoop. That's not too high. That's how high it is. It's ridiculous. It's almost tilting onto the ceiling. It's that high as a basketball hoop. That's not too high. That's how high it is. It's ridiculous. It's almost tilting onto the ceiling. Yeah.

It's that high. It's half on the wall, half on the ceiling. They're being very silly. It's absurd. He's actually popped it on the roof. It's absurdly high. I would have a TV on the roof.

Yeah, like he thinks he's a dentist. He's a dentist. Yeah, a dentist. What are you, a dentist? Ceiling down to television would be fantastic in the bedroom. I don't, I, every time I'm at the dentist,

I'm like, who screwed this TV to the ceiling? We don't know. Some, probably, apprentice. Yeah, like, did they do it? And I bet they just use those ones that go into the jib and then anchor point into the jib. All it's holding is up their jib. I didn't know that's in the stance.

I need to know how many dentists or patients have died by televisions falling on their heads. Smashing on their face. Google, please. Okay, okay. Can we get a bonus fact of the day? Has a dentist ever died by TV falling on their head? Do you know what?

Not the first person to Google that. Has anyone ever died at the dentist? I don't know. We shouldn't be reading that. Someone's probably got a, some of the high dental anxiety has probably got an appointment today. I'm going to the dentist today.

I might die today. Okay, there's a dentist that died from a bleed on might die today. Okay, there's a dentist that died from a bleed on the brain, but that was, he was just on TV. I've also got that. Dang. Yeah. That seems to be really dominating the headlines.

Yeah. That one dentist who had the... TV fell on face dentist. Yeah, I'm not seeing a single incident. Death by falling television. Death by falling television. How long does it take for dental trauma to heal? Google, what is wrong?

I'm not finding a single one. The number of deaths caused by falling televisions. Okay. This is an American story. Yeah, but specifically we want to hear it at the dentist. Yeah, well, I wonder if might be, if I open up this and then keyword search dentist, nothing.

Oh, I spelled dentist wrong. I spelled it dentist. No, again, nothing. No, I can't find the single. I've gone through pages of results. Well, you know what? Maybe I'm worrying

too much there. No, I think you're worrying the appropriate amount. I like to think the irony will be next time you're at the dentist, it will fall and kill you and you'll be the first. And then we'll Google it and it'll be like, oh, my God, it was our friend Fletch. It only happened a few weeks ago.

That's crazy. We were wondering where he was. Yeah. Dental TV impalement. Today's fact of the day, nobody's ever died by falling television at the dentist. Sub fact, and from the years 2004 to 2019 the cost per square inch

of television went from $2.15 to 39 cents. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Sasha Baron-Cohen and Isla Fisher are divorced and they've split last year apparently I was reading an article this morning because for some reason we really care about celebrity divorces.

And it was saying that it was a year that they've been living separately, but just kind of up... Keeping up appearances. To not, you know, just... Yeah, they've got a couple of kids though. So I guess that's hard. Not distracting from work

things. But now I was like, the timing's not great because Sacha Baron Cohen's in that thing with Rebel Wilson and all that kind of side things. And do you think Isla Fisher's like, well, now is the perfect time? Time to bounce. I don't want to be associated with him anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, so we were talking about, like, pretending, like, why you pretended that you were still in the relationship. Because I guess people would do it. Like if you'd just broken up with someone before Christmas and you went to family Christmas, and wouldn't it just be easier to just pretend you were still with your partner so you didn't get questions? Yes.

Could be. Or like you go to an event and you're just like, yeah, he's good or she's good and that's it. Yeah. Whereas if you're like, we've broken up, then it's all about you and you're going to get a million questions. Yeah. So my mum kind of did this. Right.

I don't know all the details because I wasn't alive. But my mum got married really young, not to my father. She was 20. Wow. And this may shock you, but the marriage didn't work. She was 20. Wow. And this may shock you, but the marriage didn't work. Right, yeah. That doesn't shock me.

Yeah, and when my mum separated from her ex-husband, she like moved out and moved in with a friend. Yep. And then eventually started dating my father. Yep. And she still hadn't told her parents that the marriage was over. So my mum told me that her mum would ring the house,

the ex-husband's house, and be like, is Pat's there? And he'd be like, oh, no, she's just out at the moment. And then would ring my mum and be like, ring your mother. And also tell her that we're getting a divorce. How long did she not tell her for? Like months, like close to a year. How long did she not tell her for? Like months, like close to a year. Is it because she would have been right?

Yeah. Did grandma say, don't get married, you're too young, you're rushing into it? Yeah. It was kind of like, oh, I don't know,

Pats, it's a bit young. Mom was like, don't tell me what to do. Right, so being a pain in the ass dramatic teenager seems to be a hereditary thing in your family. I believe I have inherited

interests. I believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah but yeah she kind of kept it up was just like oh i can't you know it's like too much and then yeah meanwhile she's like meeting up with my dad and then and then i think quite quickly was like yeah well i'm i'm with someone else now we're getting a divorce by the way pregnant and that was my brother wow scandal she doesn't mess around does she no she No, she doesn't. And that one's lasted. But yeah, they kept up appearances.

They kept families sort of happy. Sade's dad never told his mother, who lived in Thailand, that his marriage had ended. She died never having asked and never having been told. What's the harm? Don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, what's the harm? This is what we want to ask this morning.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have lied? And pretended to still be together. Yeah. And why did you not tell anyone? Was it just easier not to? You didn't get all the questions. What about those couples that plan a massive trip and then they split and they decide to go on it

and they just have to keep up this kind of like happy couple thing because they've got the nice room, they've got the honeymoon suite and all this kind of stuff. Maybe kind of like happy couple thing. Oh, yeah. Because they've got the nice room, they've got the honeymoon suite and all this kind of stuff. Maybe that's why you did it. Okay, 0800-DARLS.M. Give us a call now if this has happened to you.

You can text her as well, 9696. When and why did you pretend to still be together? We want to know this morning when you pretended to be together. For whatever reason, because it turns out that Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen have been pretending to be together for a good year.

Yeah, a good year or so. And we want to know why you did it. Maybe grand, you know? Well, this is what happened for you, Selene. It was the grandparents you didn't tell. Oh. Yeah, hi. Before I get started, first time caller, long time listener.

Yeah. No, no. Other way around. Oh, other way around. It's going to be long time listener, first time caller. Sorry. Long time listener, first time caller. Yay!

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome, Selena. Thank you. And so Gomez is no, not Selena Gomez. Just hold out hope. No, no. I wish. Okay.

I don't know if you know Selena She seems to have a lot going on Anyway, sorry, please Oh my god I can't even get a word in with you guys I know, sorry, yeah I've been patiently waiting for you to speak, Selena Because I don't want you to be silenced Fletch, please let Selena

Can you let Selena speak, please, Fletch? Sorry about that, Selena. I'm very sorry about Fletch. Share your story. That's okay. So I separated from my husband in February 2019. Yeah. And my grandparents were 96 and 98.

Oh. And I kept up the pretense that we were still married until my grandma died in March 2020. My granddad died in October 2020. And every time I visited my granddad in the rest home, he would say, how's the husband, how's the farm going? And I was just like, yep, it's all good. So by the time Pop passed away, that was coming up two years.

Yeah, it was. It was just easier just to be like, yeah, we're still together. Otherwise, I mean, even if you probably told them you'd broken up, they'd probably still ask if you're still together. Yeah, at that age. It was just not worth having the conversation. And, like, I'd moved out and bought a house, and, yeah, they had no clue. Yeah.

Were they a bit old school? Did they frown on separation, or...? I'd say they would have, yeah. I think in those days, once you were married, you had to stay together forever. Regardless of your misery levels. Selena, thank you. Anonymous, when did you pretend to be together?

Through Christmas and New Year's. Oh, yes. I knew this would be a thing. Just because then you're not dealing with all the questions. Yeah, yeah. So we broke up just before Christmas and we had plans with both sides of our family. Christmas, New Year's, away, holidays.

And it was a surprise to me, so I just had to pretend that I wasn't dying inside. Oh, and Betsy, you went to each family's Christmas. You were still together, like, at those functions. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's rough. There's, like, kids involved, you know, so it was like, oh, let's just wait till after.

Yeah, so it was fun for me. I imagine that's hard, eh, having to keep that up. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I imagine that's hard, eh? Having to keep that up. Anonymous, thank you. Especially after a few, you know, Christmas bloody bubbles. Yeah. Why are you crying?

I'm just such... So happy. So happy. So happy. So many texts in the articles. We'll get to more of those next when you've pretended to be together. Why did you pretend to still be together? That's the question

we're asking because Isla Fisher and Sasha Baron Cohen have stayed together for over a year even though they split up or pretended to be together. And normally you'd hear

like rumours like that, eh? I know. Nothing. It came as a shock. But they kind of keep a low profile anyway, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're not at it to clubs. Yeah. Tia, when did you pretend to still be together? Hi. Hi darling. Me and my ex partner pretended to be together so

I would get a paid trip to go to Rara. What? So was this like a family, you were going along with the family and they just paid for you? Yeah, so his parents were having their honeymoon over to Rara and they'd already planned it before we had broken up, so I still wanted to go. So I went. And he was

okay with you going? He was like, yeah, I'll do this for you even though we're not together anymore. Yeah. Right, was it like an amicable breakup? Not. Right, was it like an amicable breakup? Not really, it was more on because I didn't want to be with him anymore but... Fair enough. So do you think deep down he thought if I still take her to Raro we could reignite the flames of passion? Yeah, I think

that's what it was. How long had you, how long had it been between breaking up and going to Raro? Maybe six months, two months. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. I'd just cancel your ticket.

Yeah, I would have too. And I wouldn't have told you, so you got to the airport and it had been cancelled. Yeah. I would have ripped you the fingers and I would have said, suck it. Now, what about, were you like sharing a room or you would have had to, right? Yeah, we were in a holiday home with his family as well. So was the romance rekindled at all? A little kiss on holiday

or a little hanky-panky? A little sloppy hanky-pank? Yeah. No, not that far. Oh, wow. Okay. I think Tia's lying. Yeah, I think Tia's lying.

I heard a little wobble in the voice for a moment. I think there was some hand stuff. You've got a free holiday and you've the voice for a moment. I think there was some hand stuff. You got a free holiday and you've been broke for six months. That's unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Did you kiss any other boys in Rarotonga? Oh, yeah. No, I didn't, unfortunately. I just enjoyed the beautiful weather and a few poolside cocktails and a fish burger

at the morgue. Yeah, it was great over there. Oh, that's great. Awkward as hell sleepover. So great in Rarotonga. Atea, thank you. Some messages in. My partner and father of my kids broke up with me in February this year,

still living together and pretending to be together for a lot of people, including his parents, who live with us. How do you do that when they live with you? You would sense that. You've got to have the... You would hear that. Argument. Fighting.

Yeah. His family and his mates still ask me how he is whenever we run into each other two years after he finally moved out. No. So obviously he just still hasn't told them. Yeah. My ex-husband and I worked together. When we split, we didn't tell our workers. They loved to gossip.

We also kept it going for our clients. And we'd often have appointments together with clients. We'd get awkward comments like, oh, so when are you guys going to have your second child? That sounds like Jason and Brenda, a real estate couple. They sound like a real estate couple. Yeah, they do. Sell your home with Jason and Brenda. Yeah.

Ray White Realty. Do they have a jingle? I don't think that's it. I don't know, but they should do now Real white realty Don't give that away for nothing A lot of money in real estate Copyright My nana had dementia

so I did tell her that my husband and I had separated My boyfriend and I had separated but she quickly forgot and asked about my ex the following day

so my family and I were just like Let's just It's just easier to go along isn't it Yeah right Kept it up for years until she passed away

I even got another partner who looked a little bit like my last partner, and she referred to him by my previous partner's name, and I may or may not have gaslit my partner saying, no, no, no, she never said that, because my ex's name was Matt, and my new partner's name was Mark. Right. So she said, hello, Matt, which is pretty good. Hey, Matt.

She's got dementia. And you could just say that she was saying Mark, not Matt. Yeah, she's got a speech thing. Yeah, she's old. She's got dementia. And you could just say that she was saying Mark, not Matt. She's got a speech thing. Yeah, she's old. She's old. It's a speech thing. My ex-husband dumped me by text when we were near the end of our OE. Now, this sounds like a top block.

Top block. Yeah. It's hard, though, because everyone in Europe is so hot, isn't it? Aren't they? Why leave it till the end of the OE? Yeah, do it at the top. I was getting over it and moving on, got home to New Zealand and his whanau, who I love to this

day, had been told by him, he just came home early. And they were like, oh, it might be rocky. Let's try to get them, you know. They're not separated, but they're just having a bit of a bumpy period. But they'd broken up. So then it turns out, because when they asked me, I said, oh no, we've broken up. And it made me feel

like I I dumped him and he'd moved home heartbroken, whereas he'd called it off via text. Oh dear. It's not just Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen. Yeah. Did I say his name right? Sacha Baron Cohen.

Yeah. Sacha Karen Bowen. Yeah, that's the one. My ex-wife. Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Jesus.

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