ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 8th August 2023

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

BEAT the Addiction  Boyfriend Inflation  Top 6: Love Island Reunion!Silly Little Poll!  Hayley's Algorithm  The Anonymous Phoner!  Girl Math!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchvaughn and Hayley, a little ironic that Zoom asking their employees to come back into work. Very funny. Very funny.

Very funny. Like literally that's their whole business is helping people work remotely from home. You did this? It's their fault. Why? Because lots of places, Google and Twitter and... Because people are taking the piss, aren't they?

Yeah, I'll say it's taking the piss. It's taking the piss. We could broadcast from home, but we're here in studio. I like coming into work and you get the people. You get the people, you get the buzz. Yeah. You get the social fulfilment. A lot of people, but there's just the you get the people. You get the people, you get the buzz. Yeah. You get the social fulfilment. A lot of people, but there's just the right amount of people.

In our little town, as long as no one else enters the space, it's just the six of us. It's a good amount of people. Or the five of us today. Yeah, well, Vaughan, again, day, what is this, day five or six of the man cold. Yeah, he's really struggling. Every August.

He has sent a message, an audio message in the group chat. Where is he? That's his little throat wheezing. It sounds like you're doing a little voice. A cute little, yeah, animal or something. He's quite unwell. Yeah, he is.

Not the vid, though. He did do a big ratty. Yeah, and he said he tried to get a doctor's, although the doctors, you can't just go to the doctor for the cold, can you? Just tell you to go home and have a limb sip. You have a limb sip and go to sleep. But he said he couldn't get a doctor's until, like, Friday. So I'm guessing there must be some stuff going around at the moment.

So you've got the top six. You're in control of the top six again today. I do, and that's why it's Love Island based. Oh, it would never be Love Island based with Vaughn. No, it wouldn't fly. It wouldn't fly. It's the Love Island reunion. It happened live last night in the UK.

So it's on TVNZ Plus today. It's on TVNZ Plus today. I've got the top six predictions for the Love Island reunion. When's it out? Is this why you're not coming to the gym with me this morning? No, I've got other things to do. I'm actually, during the show, I'm going to be making myself beautiful. I've got to shoot for something quite exciting.

Say no more. Okay, and then when's the love island viewing happening? Well, I had a look. It just says available on this date. Now, usually it comes out like 4 or 3 o'clock, 3pm. So don't talk to me. I want the drama. I want the banter.

But if you can't wait, I'm going to give my predictions. Next on the show, a lot of people struggle with opioid addiction. Of course. You know, they go in for a surgery and those... What was that Michael Key, that dope sick? Did you ever watch that on Disney Plus? Yes, I did. Oh, my God.

That was wild, right? Yeah. Huge in America, right? They give them the pills to take the pain away and then they get hooked on that Plus? Yes, I did. Oh, my God. That was wild, right? Yeah. Huge in America, right? They give them the pills to take the pain away, and then they get hooked on that, and they can't afford it. We have those pills here, though. I forget what they're called, but a woman has claimed that she has beaten her addiction.

Oh. Beaten it. I see what you've done. That was unintentional. That was unintentional. That was unintentional. It was good from you, though. I'll tell you how she's done it next. Maybe this could help with headaches, too.

Yeah, absolutely. She beat them. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, a woman in Canada, she has, from a very young age, suffered from intense chronic pain. Yeah. And that meant that from an early age, she was on all kinds of from intense chronic pain. Yeah. And that meant that from an early age,

she was on all kinds of painkillers. Yeah. Trammies. Oh, God. I've never really, because I've never really had any operations or, so I don't think I've ever really had anything like that. But I know that people struggle after, say,

operations with the withdrawal, because some of them are very addictive, aren't they? Yeah, I've never, I can't even handle a Voltaren. I'm not a painkiller person. I'll suffer through anything. And everyone's like, he had a Panadol. I'm like, no, I didn't even really think of it. Yeah.

But, I mean, Aaron's been on Tramadol before for his back. He's got a very bad back. But he came off it as well because you read so much about getting hooked on it. You don't want to do that. She was saying she was on like 15 pills a day. Oh, okay. Because it was unbearable. When was the last time she took a shit?

Well, they clog you up, don't they? God, yeah. But she said, so she'd struggled with this. It affected her mental health. And it was, she's 30 now. And I think it was 10 years ago. She had some fun with her boyfriend. Oh, yeah.

And it was quite intense. She describes it as quite intense. And it was at that moment where she was like, oh, I didn't take my painkillers. I didn't need them. Because it's the dopamine, right? And that's why twice a day she will give herself an intense O. And she says she doesn't need painkillers anymore. Well, this is like.

She's off them and has been for a long time. This is what they say, you know, in the very old rhetoric of like, oh, I don't want to make love tonight, darling. I've got a headache. And everyone's like, well. Well, that's what she says. That can also relief migraines and headaches. Yeah. Relieve them, yeah.

So you just any time, I mean, maybe not a headache at work. Pan it all that one. Pan it all that one. But when you get home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what happens when you... Because it's just a big release of bloody dopamine and serotonin and... Is it serotonin?

Yeah. One makes you happy and one makes your body feel good. Okay. Yeah, I don't know of the science. You just know that it's great. You just know that it's... When you have a big O, your brain releases a surge of dopamine, Yeah, I don't know of the science. You just know that it's great. You just know that it's great. When you have a big O, your brain releases a surge of dopamine,

which is, it's the feel-good hormone. But does that also, like, help pain as well? Yeah. Or does it take your mind off it? You just feel so bloody good. Right, okay. Does, oh God, God bless Google, does dopamine take away pain? Or is it just like, do you mean pleasure seeking or pain avoidance?

Okay. Yeah. Oh my God, so this whole doctor stuff has just been BS this whole time. It's just big pharma trying to make money. It's big pharma. Whereas you just need a Satisfyer Pro. Satisfyer Pro or just a helping hand. You know?

You don't need all the gidgets and gadgets. Next on the show. Now, we've all nicked a glass from a pub. Have we? We have. Shannon has. Carwin has. Okay.

Jared has. Hayley has. It's because of your handbags. No, there's all this space. Guys can't do this. Yeah, I know. But there is a pub in Belgium that has done something to try to combat this. And it's very silly and very funny. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Can I say Olivia Rodrigo is my favourite pop star at the moment? Okay. Yeah, big fan. Really like her. I'm sure she's really ch star at the moment. Okay. Yeah, big fan. Really like her. I'm sure she's really chuffed at that award. Yeah. Do we, can we, do you want to send her an email? What are we doing? Certificate. Maybe a

certificate. Yeah, I'll send her something in the mail. Yeah, that'd be lovely. Now, we were talking about this just before Olivia Rodrigo, that everyone has a history of maybe like popping a little glass, a wine glass in their bag at a bar. I'm talking recently. Is it because it's got a cool logo on it?

Like it might be a lovely cute Aperol glass or a Bombay gin glass? Yes, oh my god, the big gin wine. And you're like, where do you get these glasses from? You're like, well I'll just take this one and start my collection. I mean, I'll say now you shouldn't steal from bars because then they just have to buy more glasses

and put the prices up. That's right. That's right. But I'm going to blame women. Yeah, women do this. Because you've got the handbags to conceal the glass theft. And often we might have like a little remnant of the wine and it's like, hey, we're going to go to a different bar and you're like, well, I'll just take this.

Again, not encouraging it and it's been years since I've nicked it. Hang on. When was my 33rd birthday? Last year. Anyway, there is a pub in Belgium called... Oh, okay. Anyway, it's got a way of protecting themselves against these glass thieves like Shannon and Carwin.

Yeah, how many have you got, Shannon? You're very naughty. Didn't you do this last week? Was it last week? Well, I don't know if it was last week for her. Was it the week before? Yeah, I think I did it about two weeks ago. Yeah, Shannon.

Unbelievable. But what happened was the Uber pulled up and I hadn't finished my drink yet and I'd paid for it. I'm not going to leave my drink there. Did the bouncer not say there was no security? Yeah, I just walked past. Oh, my God. But Shannon's gorgeous, you know.

She has the power. People get away with everything. Shannon's got a power that we will never know. Yeah, I just gave a little smile and out I went and I had my wine in the power. People get away with everything. Shannon's got a power that we will never know. Yeah, I just gave a little smile. Now I know when I have my line in the Uber. Because us mingers have to give the glasses back or leave them at the front door, eh? Us mingers have to bloody wash the glass and return it clean

straight back on the ranch. But old Shannon can take the glass home. Oh, she can do whatever she wants. Oh, fine. So this pub, what they do is you go in, and this is for their, it's kind of like a yardie. It's a 1.2 litre yard glass. Is it like a stein?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like those big ones that have got a stand and they've got a big sort of head and then a skinny neck and then a face. Oh, okay. So no, so it is like a mini yard glass. Yeah, not a stein. Yeah, like more yard glass. Okay.

And what they do is you order your 1.2 litre of beer in this glass and then they got so sick of people nicking the glasses because they're cool and because it's like a tourist spot. People take that as a little fun thing. And they're like, oh look I drank all the beer that was in this. Awesome bro. Good to see you're doing so well with yourself. And they give it

to you and in exchange you have to give them one of your shoes. And then they put that shoe in a basket which they then like jimmy up to the roof so you can't get it. Oh wow. And you only get your shoe back once you've finished the glass and returned it. So this is good right?

So that would mean people like Shannon have to go back the next day and give them back the glass and get their one shoe like Cinderella. Have to get my heel. Oh shame. That would be so embarrassing. God there's nothing like going back to a bar the next day and

being like hey I called earlier. I think my handbag's here. Hey I called ahead my shoes in the basket on the roof. Here's your glass.

Unless you just give them a shoe that you don't care about and it's not the shoes that you're wearing. A decoy shoe. Oh wait so you're turning up to the

bar. You're taking off one of your high heels and putting on an old rubbish Kmart sneaker. Yeah. the shoes that you're wearing. A decoy shoe. Oh, wait, so you're turning up to the bar, you're taking off one of your high heels and putting on an old rubbish Kmart sneaker. Yeah. Then you're giving them that and then you're slipping on your other heel when you're walking out of there. Yeah, or you have those little, like,

ugly roll-up ballet flats in your purse for later. Oh, yeah. God. It's a lot of effort to go and steal something that's not, I mean, it's not that great. Well, it would be a cool souvenir, though. Yeah, okay. You know, in a not that great. Well, it would be a cool souvenir though. Yeah. You know, in a house that didn't care what it looked like.

But there's all these photos of people, you know, like tourists at this bar with their like one socked foot in their yardie glass. I think it's bloody genius. Well, there you go. Next time you're at a bottomless brunch and they ask for one of your shoes and they hang it on the roof,

it's because people keep stealing the glasses. Keep stealing the glasses. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. 6.23 indeed, which is pretty bloody early in the day, isn't it? And I think if you're

listening to us, you'd already consider yourself an early riser. Whether it's by habit or by choice. Yeah, or by force. It's probably by force. Probably by force. Yeah, kids. I have like one Yeah. Or by force. It's probably by force. Yeah, by force. Probably by force.

Yeah, kids. I have like one person. Kids or cows. I have one person I always text in the morning and it's because she's got a toddler and I'm like, oh yeah, you're always up. Of course. Well, you might have seen, I mean, you must have seen on TikTok. Everyone talks about nine to five, working nine to five. Great song.

Nine to five, that's your standard work day. Yep. Turn up at nine, leave at five, then you go about your life. And now on TikTok, the trend is sharing your five to nine. The life you live, the day you lead before your nine to five. Exhausting. Can you imagine doing both? This is madness.

Can you imagine doing both? Now, five to nine is obviously our work, most of our work day. Yeah. You know, like because we... That is our, yeah, that is the big chunk of our work. That's the big chunk of our work day. So for us, our five to nine is slightly different. But for those that have a nine to five job,

they're putting up their, I guess what they're doing, five to nine. Five to nine. Putting all sorts of unnecessary pressures, I think, on everyone to 5 to 9 5 to 9 I'm putting all sorts of unnecessary pressures I think on everyone to do anything from 5 to 9 if I started work at 9 I'd be up at 8

but what if you lived 5 minutes walk from work 8.48 do you know what I mean I'd have everything laid out the next day ready to go you just get up and go get it brekkie's ready grab it off the bench I don't know Yeah. I'd have everything laid out the next day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ready to go. You just get up and go.

Get it. Bricky's ready. Grab it off the beach. See, I don't know. I think I'd be different. I would be more of a five to nine. I wouldn't be up at five because having done these hours for the last nine and a half years. Don't do it.

I mean, you're going against your body's circadian rhythms, right? Like, it's absolute horror. It's hell. But you just do it. So Aaron said to me yesterday, oh, you're tired. I was like, yeah, man. Yeah. You had a good sleep. It's hell. So Aaron said to me yesterday, oh, you're tired. I was like, yeah, man. You had a good sleep. Doesn't matter.

You could sleep for 10 hours and still get up at four and you're still going to feel stuffed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of your circadian rhythm. But I think if I did work nine to five, I would definitely probably try and gym before work. Yeah, you would. Because you get to the end of work and you're like, eh.

Oh, yeah. You probably had to have three o'clock cake in the office. Yeah. You know, and then you get home, you're like, I can't be bothered, it's cold, it's wet. No, I know. I was going to say I've never had a nine to five, but that's not true.

But I've never had a like years and years of nine to five. And I imagine, yeah, I might. But I don't think I'd be up at five if I was a nine to fiver. So these people. What are they doing? They're five to nine. So some of them will set alarms for 4.30, 4 o'clock. If you don't need to, why are you doing that?

If there aren't cows or radio mics in front of you. Or kids. Or kids. Don't bother. No, no, no, no, no. Or pastries. Oh, you bakers. The bakers.

And patience and nurse. I mean, there are so many... Okay, well, good morning to our 4 AMers. So many people do the night shifts and the... I mean, they're probably like, why are people waking up with no need to? I know, that's the general vibe, right? If you get up early because you have to, you'll always say to people that don't have to, don't. Fire persons.

Yeah, fire people, they're all up. Yeah. Well, so like, for example, one person shares her day. Alarm goes off at 4.30. Out the door at 5. She's at the gym before the sun rises. Starting on the treadmill. Then she does weightlifting. Okay. She goes home to make breakfast. Feeds her pet.

Tidy up her apartment. And then settles in for the day ahead. Some of the 5 to 9s I've seen, people get up and they do their workouts. That's often like a lovely and then you stay and you don't have to do it. But then they might do some gentle reading. No.

Are you reading a book before work? No. No. But apparently everyone who's sharing their, I mean everyone, they're sharing it like it's some kind of incredible, you know, they're holier than thou. They're just like the best person ever for getting up that early. But then surely they're getting home from work

and they're absolutely shattered and going to bed at like eight, right? I know. I mean, if you're going to bed early, fine. It's like,

what's his name? Mark Wahlberg. Oh yeah, he's got an insane routine. He gets up at three o'clock in the morning. Routine, yeah.

Or something like a little 2.30 alarm and then he gets up and he prays for an hour and then he goes to the gym for two hours and then he eats breakfast. Skip the praying.

Or just do an express pray. Yeah, is there an express pray? Yeah, just five seconds. Yeah, like, you know, like a quick wash. Yeah, like the washing machine. Quick wash. Yeah. Quick pray.

I mean, it's not going to get rid of all the sins and stains, but not a 30 minute. If you're praying every day, 15 minutes should do it. Otherwise, are you a Christian? Everything's inflating. The world's inflating. Money's inflating. Recession. Key terms like that.

Food. Food. Fuel. Inflation. Money. Interest rates. Money. Inflation., taxes, the IRD. Are you just naming all things now?

Brad, when we have bad news, Brad, and he explains it so well, but the moment he's gone, I'm like, what? I forget. But anyway, some things are not keeping up with inflation. We've looked at people are striking. Nurses are striking. Although they did just, they've signed a deal. So they're not anymore.

Okay, well that's good. That's news this morning, I believe. A little bit of us pinched back. You may need a nurse. You might need a nurse, okay. But other things that might not be keeping up with inflation or a different type of inflation are boyfriends. And this is going viral online. It's boyfriend inflation.

Here's the theory. Boyfriend inflation is the concept where a guy's value relative to his girlfriend goes down over time, and then she must break up with him because she knows her worth. At that point, she can upgrade to a guy of higher value to keep up with boyfriend inflation.

Wait, what? So you dump your boyfriend because he's a loser now? He's not keeping up. That is ruthless. When things inflate, some things get left behind. And so if you think of yourself in value inflating, me, I'm going like, man, we live in a world now where I know my worth. People are watching Barbie and being like, yeah, man, this is Barbie's world.

And he's just Ken, you know? And he didn't keep up. And maybe you realize that your boyfriend is, you know and he didn't keep up and maybe you realise that your boyfriend is you know hasn't inflated with you maybe he's still like a dropkick maybe he's still hasn't grown up, hasn't matured

maybe he's doesn't have his driver's licence yet. You are ruining relationships maybe you're going like man we were young and oh my god it was was so cute. You couldn't drive. You were scared of the road. And now we're like 30. Get your license. Get your license, man. You haven't kept up with my inflation.

You mentioned Barbie. Barbie has done this as well to women in relationships as well because it's made them realize. I'm so much better than you. Yeah. And they're just like, I'm done. It's not much better than you. It's just like, man, I know my worth

and I've inflated and you, sir, have not. You're still living at home. You're not keeping up with the rate of inflation. Yeah, you're trying to tell me you're living at home so you can look after your mum,

which for a while was cute. Now you've got to inflate. But who's going to look after mum? Mum's fine. You were using it. Mum's looking after you. I'm right, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So now you go, like, my worth has increased. So I need to ditch this and get a boyfriend of higher value. Now, show on the other foot, is there such a thing as girlfriend inflation? Absolutely. What if you haven't inflated? We can be absolute pieces of S. Right.

Yeah. So it can work both ways. It can work both ways. Look, a feminist means that we're all equal. Not that women are better. And remember that. So next time the news comes on and they're talking about inflation. Yeah.

Also boyfriends now. There'll be a rate for the boyfriend inflation. Yeah, there will be. Look out for that. Should we get Bad News Brad in to give us the state of play on boyfriend inflation? Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello, it's Hayley filling in again for Vaughan for the Top Six because he is very unwell. Now, I watched... Do we want the wheezing again? Do we want his wheezing? Yeah, can we have a little wheeze just to prove he's quite sick? Now, that's the back of his throat making that wheeze. Sounds like a BG. He's got a BG in his throat.

He does. He's got Morris Gibb in his throat. Now, Love Island, I watched all 55 episodes. The last episode I'm yet to watch, about 3 p.m. today, the Love Island reunion. Is it sad when you binge watch a TV show and then you see the episode count and then how many minutes per episode and you're like, all my life is gone to that.

Yeah. And when it's something like Breaking Bad, you're like, that's art. That's art. That's won awards. I have no regrets. It is ongoing for me.

I now follow all the contestants. Because it's over, I can follow them on social media without any spoilers. Yep. What's Lachan up to this morning? Wow, he's having salmon on toast. Good to know, Lachan.

Good to know. So it's the reunion. It's available on TVNZ Plus some point this afternoon around 3 o'clock. Okay. You'll be able to get your hands on that. But it has happened already. I've got my top six predictions for the Love Island 2023 final. Number six.

Messy Mitch is going to tell Abby, why are you so obsessed with me? Even though he totally mugged her off and played her against Ella B. And the fact that Ella B is still with Messy Mitch is actually right insane. Right. Yeah. Messy Mitch is going to cause a scene. No doubt.

Number five on the top six predictions for the Love Island final, yeah. All their lips are going to be filled back up since they've been home in the UK for a couple of days. Because they've been able to have more injections, yeah. It truly is quite funny seeing the women's lips through, because they're there for eight weeks, sort of shrink a little bit. And then they come back in the reunion and they're like, brr. You'd think they'd have people on set to just plump them up. Yeah, they come in back at the reunion and they're like, brr. You'd think they'd have people

on set to just plump them up. Yeah, they come in to like change the lights and they're like, hey, hey. Injections, injections. Looking good, hun. Yeah, they're all going to be

topped right up. Yep. Topped right on up. Number four on my top six predictions for the Love Island final, I think Katie and Uzi, I think Katie and Uzi

are going to pretend they're still together because they've got some brand deals going. Yeah. You can go to their social media. One of their first posts shared was a brand deal. Yeah. With a food chain.

They're going to pretend they're still together even though we know they ain't going to last in their relationship with convenience. Yeah. Okay, right. Because Zachariah, like she wanted Zachariah, but she couldn't get him,

so she had to get Uzi. Right. Uzi. Yeah, they wanted him. That's a name, is it? Yeah, Uzi. Wow get him, so she had to go with Uzi. Right. Uzi. Yeah, they wanted that. That's her name, is it? Yeah, Uzi. Wow, okay. Yeah, wait till you meet Uzi.

Number three on my top six predictions for the Love Island final. Tyreek will keep his hand on Ella's booty the whole time while thanking her for turning him from a boy to a man. Oh, wow, did she? No. Okay, wow. She turned him from a boy to a man. Yeah. I nailed that, actually.

I nailed Tyreek just then. Number two of my top six predictions for the Love Island final tonight. Scott will sing and we will all collectively die while Witt says it's giving embarrassment. Yeah. It's giving

embarrassment. Why does he always sing? Scott sings and he sucks. But bless him, it? Scott sings and he sucks. But bless him, it's Scott. He never found love. Oh, is it because he keeps singing? It's because he keeps singing. Yeah. And it gave, what was her name?

It gave Abby the egg. Yeah. It's the egg. It's the egg. It's not the egg. And number one in my top six predictions for the Love Island final, which is on tonight or this afternoon on TVNZ Plus, Scott will also be pushing his HelloFresh discount code,

Scott10, for 10% off. Okay. Let's be honest. Will they work in New Zealand? No, you can get HelloFresh in the UK. Yeah, but will their code work here? Yeah, absolutely, Scott10. Okay, right.

Scott10, Love Island, 10% off. That's today's top six. Clay, ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I didn't know this and it makes so much sense because in your Instagram DMs, there's general requests, right? Is that the only ones? General and requests. So general will be the people that you follow

and they follow you and you can chat openly. And then requests are like strangers trying to slip into your DMs. Which I read yesterday, Instagram are actually going to make that harder as well. Yeah. So there's primary. So you can set who you want on your primary. There's primary, general, which you can go like,

it's just random, but I don't mind them messaging me. And request is new people messaging you. So if someone messages you on any of these, I think in requests, yeah, in requests you can't, they won't see when you've seen their message. Which is so good. If I went to requests, right,

all these randos that are obsessed with me. Oh, no, I'm kidding. There must be thousands of messages. Yeah, it must be so hard. Just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. So these people, I can check the message and it won't show that I've seen it. So I can choose whether to reply or not.

If I reply, it moves into general. And then they see that you've seen it. And then they see it. Okay. If someone was to message me on general or primary and I opened it and I didn't want them to know I'd opened it you can't do it right? You would say seen

and they would know and then I'd leave them on seen like messenger Yep. Wow the way you go around this is say you open up your primary messages and I've got a message from actor Cohen Holloway God! Actor Cohen Holloway. He's messaged me a hand clap emoji. Okay. Reacting to aay. God. Actor Cohen Holloway.

He's messaged me a hand clap emoji. Okay. Reacting to a photo. Right. Say he'd messaged me a thing. I would go on Cohen's profile. I would restrict him for a short time. So you press the dots or the cog or whatever in settings. Yeah, you can go on and go restrict.

Okay. Thingy, dot, dot, dot, restrict. Sorry, Cohen. And then that will move all of his messages. Into requests. Right. So now I can open it without him seeing that I've seen it. So then I go in here, there's his message, open it, he won't know.

Right. And then I could get out of that message, unrestrict him, because I like the guy. Right. But it's a lot of effort to go to. It's a real process. To not tell a friend, in this case, that you've read their message. Yeah.

Also, so I have, and I wonder if I could test this. Producer Jared, if you can message me on Instagram. Oh, yeah. Can you send me like a big paragraph of something? Because I've got Instagram. The first testament. Friends or people that I follow, if they message me on Instagram, I get the lock screen message.

Oh, I took all those off. But yes, lots of people do. So that's a way of previewing the message as well. So I wonder if I'll just keep Jared to message. Do you keep your message previews on your lock screen? I do. I don't. Just for friends.

I don't. What if people see? Well, I've got nothing. What am I lock screen. I do. I don't. Just for friends. I don't. What do people see? Well, I've got nothing. What am I hiding? Are you hiding something? No. No, I haven't been DMing anyone. Okay, so Jared, I'm just going to test this.

Jared has messaged me and I can see here that he's just copy and pasted something there. If I hold my finger on that, I can only see the first three lines. Yeah. But does that show you that I've seen that message? No. Or the other one that you've sent me? No, it doesn't. No, see, that's a way of doing it then.

Yeah, but I don't have mine on preview. I don't get any Instagram notifications because working in the spotlight, good Lord, it blows up. Of course. I can only imagine. I don't know what you can't even imagine. I can only imagine how popular you are. I turned it off.

Yeah. And so I get no pop up. And then if I get Messenger or Instagram notifications on my lock screen, it just says new message. Right. But no details. Right. I'm not having an affair. I didn't say you were.

I'm having an affair. I know I did. Oh my God, it feels so good to get it off my chest. Also, if your partner suddenly, yeah, all the notifications like go to don't show message and just show that you've got one, you... Aaron wouldn't, Aaron...

He wouldn't even know how to set that up. He wouldn't even know how to get into a phone. You know what I mean? Yeah. He did reply in the group chat the other day, which I was like, what? Did he?

Yeah. He had a couple of lines of banter. I was like, this is amazing. How very rarely he turns up in any of our group chats that he's in. It was very nice. Oh, nice to have you here. But yeah, well, there you go. There's a couple of lines of banter. I was like, this is amazing. How very rarely he turns up in any of our group chats that he's in. It was very nice. Oh, nice to have you here.

But yeah, well, there you go. There's a couple of ways for you to pre-read Instagram messages without showing people you've seen them. Yeah. Because that's just the world we live in now. Yeah, we're secretive. And we don't want to be available to be contacted always. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Always. Today's Silly Little Pole. If you only knew one song from an artist, would you go to their concert? It really depends on the artist. Like how big are they? Yeah. And quite often when artists are up and coming, they might only have one big hit song.

Yeah. And you might have listened to the album, but you're really, and you know when you're at a concert that one song comes on. It's going to pop off. It'll probably be the last song. It'll be the encore and everybody goes crazy. Yeah, totally. And then you're like, oh, I was there. It's like people who saw Billie Eilish at the Tuning Fork

in Auckland, which is a tiny little venue. And it was like, oh yeah, I saw her in like 2015. You're like, Now she's huge. Well, we asked you, the people, if you were needing

one song from an artist, would you go to the concert? 75% of people said no way. It's a waste of money. 25%, no, a quarter of you

said yes. I've definitely been at like a festival and there have been like smaller bands on all night. I know one of their songs. Yeah, so I'll go.

Yeah, same. But I don't know if I've bought a ticket. I mean, I knew the hits for Florence and we were with some super fans. That's why I drank so much. It's a big night. It was a big night. I don't know

if I'd buy a ticket specifically. Right. Just for one banger. For one't know if I'd buy a ticket specifically. Right, okay. Just for one banger. For one song. One song. Trying to think about the one song. But what if it is your, but also if it's your one favourite song,

you're going to listen to the other songs from that artist, right? Yeah. Because if a song connects with you that well, you're going to be like, well, I must love the other songs. I mean, who's the band that sung the Makarena? You know, I don't know any of their other music,

but if they came to New Zealand, hell, I'm going to go see. You're going to go for the one song. I want a live Makarena. You know, I don't know any of their other music, but if they came to New Zealand, hell, I'm going to go see. You're going to go for the one song. I want a live Makarena. Why am I saying that like it's a Maori word? Makarena. I don't know. The Makarena.

Some feedback. Maddie says, if the tickets were free or really cost effective and the one song I knew was an absolute banger, I would go. Okay. But you're not paying $160 to go for one song. Connor says, if you want to go to a concert, then go. There's no rules. Yeah, no rules.

Connor's living fast and fancy free. Bridget says, concerts cost too much. I live in the middle of bloody nowhere, so I have to factor in flights and accommodation to you. Not doing that. I can't even afford to go to gigs where I know whole albums. Yeah, they're not cheap. I know. And some people, when they put their ticket prices out, you're like, oh, I don't know if to go to gigs where I know whole albums. Yeah, they're not cheap. I know, and some people, when they put their ticket prices out,

you're like, oh, I don't know if you're worth that. Yeah, I know. Like, who do you think you are? 240, and you're like, you're not a 240, babe. You're a 120. Sometimes even when they're a 180, you're like, you're not a 180. You're a 120. You're a 99.

You're a 99 next. You're a 99. Rhys says, I went to an Machine Gun Kelly concert. I didn't know what the heck was going on. Oh, okay. I wouldn't know either. I find, yeah, I'm not into his music, but I also find everything I see of him online quite repulsive.

Yeah, sort of, I'm turned off. I'm like, you're a douchebag. You are, he's got that douche energy. Zoe says, it depends how much I liked the song and how expensive it was. Yeah, so if the one song was an absolute banger. Yeah. See, that's somebody's message through saying that this happened at Morgan Wallen. Because people hear the Last Night song on the radio and they're like, oh, I'll go to Morgan Wallen.

And then when that song comes on, they're pissed. Yeah. And they make a scene. And they ruin the song and everyone sings along and it ruinsen. Yeah. And then when that song comes on, they're pissed. Yeah. And they make a scene and they ruin the song and everyone sings along and it ruins it. Yes. I, yeah, there's some concerts. Like you watch the Beyonce tour

at the moment and the crowd's doing all the singing. I'm like, I didn't pay to see this. Yeah, I'm not paying to hear the crowd sing at a concert. I literally played a gospel version of

Let It Be to Aaron the other night in the car. Don't ask. We do drive around and we listen to music. Yeah. Gospel version of Let It Be. Hugely powerful. He starts singing along Don't ask. We do drive around and we listen to music. Gospel version of Let It Be. Hugely powerful. He starts singing along

and I was like, listen, listen to this beautiful woman. Yeah, it's not, yeah. You don't have the same voice as her. Vicky says, hell yeah, I'm trying to convince my partner

to take me to Finland to see this one artist. I only know one song and it's not in English but I love the song so much. Okay, I'm sorry, you can't go all the way to Finland for one song. I only know one song and it's not in English, but I love the song so much. Okay, I'm sorry. You can't go all the way to Finland for one song. Jeebus.

Rach says, if it was in my hometown, yes, or if I won Lotto. Sorry, I'm winning Lotto tomorrow, so that's not going to happen. Is it like $30 million tomorrow? Yeah, it is. Tessa says, no, I'm cheap AF and I ain't paying to sit and twiddle my thumbs. Yeah, it is. Tessa says, no, I'm cheap AF and I ain't paying

to sit and twiddle my thumbs. Yeah. Fair enough. I just love concert vibes. That's the other thing I hate is when I go to one of my favourite

artists and people are there for two or three songs and they're talking and they're, it's like, shut up. Why did you pay

to come? I felt like that at My Chemical Romance. I think people think we were there as like a fun gag and actually we were there as like mega fans and then there were a few people around us who were like tuning out on the lesser known songs.

And I was like, this is from their first album, please shut it. Please shut it. That silly little poop. There's a woman called Jordana and she is a Brit living in Australia, and she's been sharing on TikTok how life is dating in Australia. Okay.

And she said she was at church one morning, and someone asked her, like, how's your dating life going? And she was like, buckle up, mate. And she was on a – she's 36 years old. Okay. 36 years old? 36 years old. Okay. 36 years old? 37 years old. 37 years old and she was on a date with someone

and they were going for a hike in Noosa. And they were like, going up the hill, having a nice day. And they were chatting, getting to know each other. I think that's quite nice because then you can kind of like. No, but it's Australia. It's Noosa. It's hot and sweaty. Oh, yeah.

And snakes. I was just meaning like you don't, it's not so awkward. You don't have to just like stare them in the eye and ask questions. Oh, yeah. Actually, that's probably better, yeah. Do you know what I mean? You can ask like bigger questions because you're like one's behind the other. But then if I see a snake, I'll do that.

Ah! Ah! Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll probably hide behind them and use them as a buffer. Yeah, as a human shield. Because I don't know them that well. Like it doesn't matter. Rather them than me. Yeah, them than do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll probably hide behind them and use them as a buffer. Yeah, as a human shield. Because I don't know them that well. Like, it doesn't matter.

Rather them than me. Yeah, them than me, yeah. Well, she was walking behind him, and they were talking about the future and, like, what their goals in life were, and he just came out and said, oh, yeah, like, I really want kids, but I've got to say I'm a bit worried about your biological clock.

Now, they have not been on many dates at all. Wow. Okay, you don't say that to anyone. Yeah. She was like, oh, my God. And then apparently for the rest, because you're on a hike, you can't just like leave and turn around. It's like not safe to be on a hike on your own,

especially in the Australian bush. Yeah. So she kind of like stuck with the day and then just kept making like awkward jokes about, oh God, what was that noise? It's the ticking of my biological clock. And then obviously like never saw him again. Yeah.

And then shared this and like thousands and thousands of people were like, who asks that? Yeah. Who asks that on a date? Maybe that's a conversation you have when you're in a relationship and you've decided you're going to go forward and be like, hey, well, let's do it, but it's got to be up front. I really want kids. And you ain't no spring chicken, huh? No. Not on a first date, no.

God, no. Anyway, I thought there's got to be more like this. So I want to know what was the weirdest thing you were asked on a date. Like a fresh date. Like maybe someone just came in straight out and then said like, are those real? And then went boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. Firm.

Boing, boing. Yes, they are real. Thank you very much. Yeah. A question that you were asked on a date and you just can't believe someone asked that. Mmm. I once went on a date and the guy.

She started talking and then has realised what she was about to say He said something about I was wearing sandals and he said it wasn't a question but he said he loves a woman with long toes Did you take that as a compliment? I don't know, it was weird It was a really weird thing to say.

Did that get another date, that whole situation? Yeah. Oh, did it? Oh. He was so hot. It's fine that he said something weird about my feet. So it's okay if they're hot? No, I don't know.

It was so weird. I'm so embarrassed now just saying it out loud. He said all sorts of things. Weird guy. Okay. So we want to take your calls now. 0800 DALS at Emma's number. You can text through 9696. He said all sorts of things. Weird guy. Okay, so we want to take your calls now. 0800 DALES.M is the number. You can text through 9696.

There's a lot of you out there dating, you poor things. What is the weirdest thing you were asked on a date? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Oh my God. We're wanting to know what is the weirdest thing you were asked on a first date after a woman was going on a hike for a day and then he was like, hey, look, I really want kids,

but I'm a little bit worried about your biological clock. This is the first date. How's that ticking along? Yeah. How's that going being old? I reckon she's 37. Get a grip. All right, Michaela, good morning.

Is that me? Yes, it is. That's you, baby. Michaela, good morning. Is that me? Yes, it is. That's you, baby. Michaela, what were you asked on a first date? So we were like driving to destination and I think I was like 16 or 17 and he said, so what's up with your teeth? Oh my God.

It was pre braces, you know, and they weren't that bad. Why would you ever ask that? What's up with your teeth? What did you say? He was like not the skinniest guy. And I've had braces and I'm 30 and he's still fat. I like that to this day it's still a thing. It's a competition.

I love that you're like 16 years later, you're like looking at him being like, yeah, well. Yeah. What's up with that? Movie star teeth, baby. Wow. Good for you. Yes, there we go.

Make sure you wear your retainer. We don't want other people asking what's up with your teeth. Thank you, Michaela. Anonymous, what were you asked on a first date? Oh, Kilda, is that me? Yes, it is. Kilda? Oh, yeah.

Okay, great. Yes, so we were out on a lunch date, and he burped on my face and asked me to read it out of pen. Sorry. Yuck. What? What? Okay.

Did you say, this is not the kind of humour we can move forward with? No, no. I literally looked at can move forward with? No, no. I literally looked at his face and I was like, no. He's going to crop dust you, you know. He's going to Dutch oven you and that's not romance. It's too early for that. No, you're not.

It was his second date. I was just like, what the heck? No, that's like 10 years in. What does that smell like? Even 10 years in, we talked about boyfriend inflation before. I don't know if your boyfriend's... Don't be burping in the face and asking me to rate it. Anonymous, thank you.

Some messages in. God, these are terrible. I was on a first date with a guy from university. Both students in our later 20s. And the date was lovely. Both had a mutual interest. Mutual interest. And I could see us going very far.

Until he asked me if I would take his virginity that night. No shame towards him. That's not a first date request. Especially not at a restaurant in front of everyone. Everybody heard and was really embarrassed. What? At a restaurant? No way. Kerry, what were you asked

on a first date? I was asked to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10. On like attractiveness? Yeah. Was this face to face? Yes. Weird. Weird. Yeah, what did you say?

Did you give yourself like an 8 or a 9? I gave myself a 9. Okay, yeah, good. Because I'd go obviously a 10, but I don't want to be arrogant, so I'd go 8. Trying to be humble. You've got to. Okay, yeah, good. Because I'd go, obviously, a ten, but I don't want to be arrogant. So I'd go eight. Trying to be humble. Yeah.

I'm rocking a nine. You've got to be humble, yeah. Wait, so why did he ask this? I couldn't tell you. There was no lead up. There was no... Was there no second date? Oh, no, no. Yeah.

That's so weird. What was he out of 10? Oh, I gave him a six. Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, my girl. I love this. Yeah, that's, yeah. Awkward.

It's just weird. That's a weird request. And again, this is why you don't go to restaurants, because now you're stuck with a six at dinner. Yeah, and then as you're saying it, the dinner plate's arriving, so you're like, wow, I'm starving. Now you've got a set there.

Kerry, thank you, some messages. First date, he asked me if I was happy to just receive some hand stuff because he was training for a kickboxing fight. Now, isn't that a thing? Why do they do that? They build themselves up. A lot of athletes, they're not allowed to expel things.

Why? Because it keeps them all like... See, this is why when I was kickboxing, I'd try to kiss them all. Yeah. You were not good. Because I'm a lover, not a fighter. He's a lover. Yeah.

Maybe if I'd banked it up, I'd be a vicious animal. You would have clocked them. First night, he asked me to do the Myers-Briggs personality test. What is it like? You've just joined this company. We'd just like you to take this test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you are. You're an NFT. We want to know how problematic you're going to be as an employee slash

girlfriend or boyfriend. Second question I got asked on our first date was, do you make the lunches? We've been happily married for 21 years. Does she make the lunches? Do you make the lunches? But we've been happily married for 21 years. Does she make the lunches? Do you make the lunches? I don't know.

Text us back, do you make the lunches? Oh, I can't read that one. That's funny. Judging by the look on your face. Dating many years ago on a date with someone from a dating website, he asked if I would fill out a questionnaire that he had written to determine our compatibility. He'd made it up. Oh, okay. He asked if I would fill out a questionnaire that he had written to determine our compatibility.

He'd made it up. Oh, okay. E.G., what side of the bed you sleep on, your sleep patterns, sexual preferences, etc. There was no second date. No. Oh, my God. Was he trying to be cute and funny? I was asked if I knew what my sperm count was. Guys get those questions too.

Wow, okay. First date, I asked my now husband if he had any medical problems or allergies, etc. To be fair, I am a nurse. But that's like when you, it's like, do you have any, what do they call it on health insurance? Like previous medical conditions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't want to get a dud. God, some of these I can't read.

Really? Yep, some of them I can't read. Would? Yep, some of them I can't read. Would they be great for a podcast? The podcast with a little bit of pod? Yeah. Okay, let's do that. A guy asked my friend if he could watch her pee on the first date.

No, you wait until you've moved in and there's only one toilet in the flat and you're in the shower and they're busing and they need to go. That's the only time that's acceptable. Yeah. And the latest one we just got in, I can't read either. Okay, well, join us wherever you podcast today, iHeartRadio, wherever.

We'll read out the naughty ones. Today's a little bit of pod. Yeah, we're not restricted. Unrestricted. You should say it's the Wild West out in that podcast. It really is. So download today's little bit of pod a bit later today to get the rest of the juicy text that we can't read out now.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, you may remember some time ago, I messed up my algorithm, and 90% of what I was being shared was deep, deep Christian content. Because you were loving the people that go all out with their over-the-top. Yeah, I love it.

I love it. And, you know, I watched a couple of videos too many. Well, you were sharing a lot of them with the group. My favourite one was a woman who asked the preacher, I don't want to have a fat tummy anymore. And he goes, ooh, and his hand hovering from the tummy, and she's sucking in, she's like, oh my God! So good.

But then it messes up your algorithm. You're having a laugh. I'm having a little giggle. Not at religion, just at this extreme side of things. Anyway, so I utterly stuffed my algorithm. I managed to reset it. You can go in and you see something and you go, not interested, not interested.

And then you like things, you say yes, like the small man. And it learns. It learns. She's very smart. What is your usual algorithm? Because you know when you go to the Explore page on Instagram and it's like... Jason Momoa. What is it?

Jason Momoa? Jason, Jason. Yeah. Matt Damon. You got me wrong there. Okay. Jason. Jason.

Cate Blanchett. You've got me right. Okay. Oh, okay. Really? Yeah. Cate Blanchett. I follow a Instagram page.

Okay. What is it? It's called... I don't know if I can say the word. No. I don't think that you should say it. It's a page run by, it's called the Queer Kate Blanchett Lookbook, and it's all the theories that she's a lesbian. Right, okay.

And it's just hot photos of her. And it's just her looking kind of a little bit masked and like hot and all that. Okay, yeah, right. They've got you right on that one. They've got my demographic right. However, my algorithm is restuffed because yesterday I was messaging Vaughn, who's feeling very poorly.

I sent him a message saying like, how you feeling, mate? Yep. And he said he felt like dog-ess. Yep. And so I thought, you know what he'll want is a few silly messages. The three of us love to share Instagram reels. Yes, we do. We're always sharing all sorts of silly things.

And mostly inappropriate. Oh, incredibly inappropriate. You listener will never know what is in these. But we know. Anyway, so I was messaging him, sending him, where is he? I was sending him silly messages, and then he said to me, watch it, you're going to stuff

your algorithm. And I was like, nah. Then I went on for a scroll. It's stuffed. So what were you sending him cringe content okay yeah so uh the first one was a kind of mid I'd say early 50s bogan goth couple yeah um singing earnestly to the camera um Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton Islands in the Strait they don't know how bad they are no and, and it's really, they're really earnest. And she's in sort of like. Oh my God, they've done like a video.

Yeah, he's wearing like a skeleton t-shirt and he's singing, baby, when I met you there was. And then she comes in and let me tell you, she's a treat. She's got cut out leggings. She's blonde and she sings. I've seen bad. And she comes in as Dolly Parton. There she is.

She's a treat. So I sent him that and he said, I hate it so much. Yeah. Then I sent him a guy with green hair saying, I traveled a thousand kilometers to New York City to do this. And then he starts singing his new single. And boy, oh boy, the man cannot sing. Okay, right.

And then I said, I want to ruin your day with cringe. Okay. Then I sent him a video of someone singing a Lewis Capaldi song really badly. Okay. But very earnestly. Yep. And I said, I will make you vomit. Then I went back to that same couple singing a different song,

and he said, watch it, you're going to stuff your algorithm. And I said, oh, it's officially effed. Okay. And I've just sent him nothing but cringe content. And now. And this boy's been like, I'm so hot. It's so good. And now I'm stuffed. it's so good and now

I'm stuffed I cannot find a single article I like here's a man with big arms what are you doing here well this

this is what you do for you're trying to do a good thing for a friend just trying to make him laugh and now it's just cringy content

usually from like middle America yeah people who it's going to take a while for the Kateate Blanchett fan groups to come through again. The lesbian Cate Blanchett page to really penetrate this. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I had a very exciting announcement if you follow me on socials yesterday.

The people have demanded. Oh, they demanded. The people screamed, Hayley, please bring your comedy show ailments down to Christchurch And I answered with yes And I'm coming down the 29th One night only, two shows in one night And the reason I'm talking about it now is if you want to come and see me do it You better be quick

I sold 60% of my capacity yesterday Oh that's fantastic Yeah I know That's great Actually this break is to remind you all that I'm very popular. Mama is going to be paying her bills after this show. Mama is bringing home the comedy bacon. Yeah.

So I'm performing at the Piano, which is an amazing venue in the central city of Christchurch. One night only, two shows in Anatsa. What date? 29th of September. Okay. So you've got plenty of time, but the tickets are going fast. Don't dilly-dally. And also a little PSA, I'm in Wellington this weekend

performing one show Friday, two shows Saturday. There's one ticket left. One? There's one ticket left. So someone needs to go by themselves? Yeah, Saturday, six o'clock show. Is it allocated seating? Nope.

Oh, okay, so they've got a sandwich in between people that already, that would be brave, but you know. It would be brave. I go to the movies by myself. I don't mind that. Yeah, I love hanging out by myself. I've never been to a comedy show by myself, though. Well, maybe you'll make some friends.

Well, there you go. There's one ticket for that. If people want tickets, your Instagram, there's links there. Yeah, head to my socials, at Hayley Sproul. I'll put all the information up there. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Play me some sort of underground espionage music.

Oh, I like this. I like this very much. I found myself a wee story, and it has sparked in me a desire to hear some more stories like it. However, it does involve the term blackmailing. Yeah. And I thought in order for people to fully give us the information of a story, they may need

to be anonymous. They may need to be anonymous. So hence the anonymous phone-in topic. Welcome to the anonymous phone-in. So meaty. What was that from? The soup. Anyway, there is a story about a woman was getting married, right? Yep.

Big wedding, absolutely incredible day. Now, unfortunately, her father had passed away the year before. Right. So her brother had to step into a lot of the roles, right? Walking his sister down the aisle, the speeches, the first dance, those kind of things. Really lovely thing. So he was quite involved in the planning of the wedding. Now, the day before the wedding, the brother says to his sister,

I've got a good plan. At the wedding, I want to propose to my girlfriend. No, you don't do that at someone else's wedding. We all know this by now, don't we? And yet it continues to happen. Yeah. And she was like absolutely beside herself.

Like during my speech to you, I also want to turn to my girlfriend and propose to her. And she was like, thank God he told me beforehand because if he had just done it in the moment, she would have been absolutely very upset. So instead of just saying no, well she

said no. She was like no and he said well no I'm going to do it because it's a perfect opportunity. It's a beautiful day. She's like yeah a day I've paid for it's my day. And then she said if you do this here comes the blackmail I will tell everyone your secret that I know. Now this family was from a very

traditional Southern Baptist household. Now very religious. Yes. Her brother is a youth pastor at the church. Okay. He's asking his girlfriend to marry him. What the wedding doesn't know

is that his girlfriend who he's going to propose to, she's already up the duff. Hence why he wants to propose? Hence why he wants to propose. She's already pregnant. She said, I told him that if he had the audacity to try and include himself in my big day, the response to his speech would be me toasting to his new baby.

So wait, we're finding out about this because did he propose and she just spilt the beans anyway? Or she's just gone on TikTok and said, this is a great story. He didn't end up doing it. Okay, right. He didn't end up doing it the wedding day because of this blackmail. Now, I'm sure that like, you know, having a baby before, I mean, I was out of wedlock.

Yeah. My parents got married after we were born, and they came from a Christian family. But Southern Baptist is a real, like, they are traditional. That's some hard blackmail. That's some big blackmail. Yeah, that's big blackmail. So my anonymous phone, shh, so meaty, is have you been blackmail. Yeah, that's big blackmail. So my anonymous phone. Yep. So meaty.

Is, have you been blackmailed? Why? Are we going to take calls? What were the details? Would you like to take calls from people that have also been the blackmailer? If you want to admit to it, 100% I'll take your call. Okay. 0800 dial ZM, text 9696. Have you been blackmailed?

Or did you blackmail someone? What about if somebody tried to blackmail you and you just laughed them off? You're like, go for it. I don't care. Did they do it? Did they follow through? I've never been blackmailed. I don't think so.

No. There's emotional blackmail. Are you counting that as well? No, I'm not counting that. Yeah. Because I'm both guilty. And the victim. And the victim. Of emotional blackmail. That's I'm not counting that. Yeah. Because I'm both guilty and the victim of emotional blackmail. That's a 50-50 there.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to give and take. No emotional blackmail, but have you ever been blackmailed? Have you blackmailed somebody? I'll tell you what, the juicier the better. And it's anonymous.

And it's anonymous. You don't need to give us your name. You can text in anonymously, 9696 with your story. All the details. Give us a call. We can give you a fake name or no name. We've soft launched the anonymous phoner.

Well, it's like the impossible phoner where, you know, we have a topic where we think it's impossible, but the anonymous one is something where it's so juicy that people are going to need anonymity. Yes, they will. And congratulations on saying anonymity. Anonymity. I said it wrong.

Anonymity. Anonymity. First go. Thank you. I've got to say, it is wild. We were asking this morning, have you ever been blackmailed? And because this happened to somebody's brother, wanted to announce at her wedding that he wants to engage to his partner.

And she said, no, if you do that, I'll just tell our parents and family that you're pregnant. We just had a huge amount of messages just come in. Please excuse me if I start reading them and stop halfway through. Because I've realised that we can't say it on air. There are some that we cannot say on air. Like, there is... Wow. I thought maybe we'll be struggling

this morning. Can I read you a funny one? Okay. I caught a real estate agent... I can't say the term they used, can I? Playing with himself. Working the gherkin. Working the gherkin. Okay. I caught a real estate agent working the gherkin

in a house he was selling when he thought the open home session had finished. I got a real estate agent working the gherkin in a house he was selling when he thought the open home session had finished. I got a payout and that's how I paid for my first car. I told him I wouldn't tell the company. Because did you see that story? It was a couple of weeks ago. It was a Canadian real estate agent got caught sculling milk straight from the bottle out of someone's fridge.

I think they got like 20 grand for that. Oh my God. Get a grip. My former profession allowed me to be privy to the information that a very prominent New Zealand sportsman was having an affair with another very prominent New Zealand sportswoman. Her partner found out and blackmailed the sportsman for 10K. Chump change for him, so he paid up.

Oh, my God. I need to find out who that is. Please message in. Please tell me who it is. We will not read it out. No. But just for our personal enjoyment, let me know. My daughter was blackmailed by her father when she caught him cheating.

And I believe we have this person on the phone. Oh, I love this. I love this. Good morning, Anonymous. Good morning. Anonymous, so you're the daughter in this story? No, I'm the mother. You're the mother?

Oh, no. Of the daughter. And so, what? Needless to say, sorry. Are you at an airfield? No, sorry. We're just walking past a graveyard. We've apparently got all the parishioners out doing some early morning chores.

Oh, you're a lawnmower. It's a lawnmower. Okay. Okay, so what did the ex-husband do? So he, let's just say, was caught out by my daughter. He received a text message which had some rather lewd images. Okay. Lewd?

And she accessed his phone, questioned him on it, and he basically said, look, you share this with your mum, it's going to be the reason we have a divorce, because you've told her. Oh, my God, that is emotional. Oh, my God. I think we're going to say, I'll have a divorce because you've told her. Oh my God, that is emotional. Oh my God, I thought you were going to say I'll take you to McDonald's, we'll get a happy meal. I'll get you a Barbie.

You know, that kind of point mail. No, that was just pure emotional. And so she told you and then it was over. No, she didn't tell me. So this is the thing. She didn't tell me. It was actually about a month later that one of the other women that he had been conquesting. One of?

One of, yes. Let's just say there could have been a short and sweet script with my life. But anyway, yeah. So one of the women, her husband actually contacted me and then things started to unravel and then she shared about the particular incident with the phone. Oh, my God. I always remember a friend of mine saying that, hey, do you remember when you could pick up the landline

and you could mute it and then listen in? Listen in. He found out that his dad had cheated. Oh, my God. I know, because he listened into a conversation. I used to always hear my brother listen in. Listen in. He found out that his dad had cheated. Oh, my God. I know, because he listened into a conversation. I used to always hear my brother listening in. So good. Oh, my God.

That is a wild story, Anonymous 3. Juicy, thank you for sharing Anonymous 3. We're going to go to Anonymous 2. I don't know where Anonymous 1 went. To Anonymous. It was to Anonymous. It was to Anonymous. Good morning, Anonymous 2.

Hi, guys. Good morning. anonymous two. Hi, guys. Good morning. Good morning. Now, you've been blackmailed. Yes, I have been, and it's the worst. Okay, because I was going to say you sound quite happy at this stage. No, I'm just like, it's first time caller, so. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Now, Vaughn's away. He normally has the bell over his side. Have you got the bell? First time caller. Long time listener. Yep. Oh, wait. Now, Vaughan's away. He normally has the bell over his side. Have you got the bell? First-time caller. Long-time listener. Yep. Oh, yes. Hayley was holding the metal bat.

Welcome, welcome. Welcome. Hi, guys. So, listen, story is I divorced from my partner and ended up in a relationship with one of my friends back from high school that we that I dated yeah and so marriage being boring and whatever I thought well listen this this is the relationship where I want to be a bit raunchy and so pictures were seen back and forth and also the issue was being friends from school on Facebook we had loads of mutual friends

and so he would get a bit jealous of me and so I said listen this relationship is over I'm not going to do this anymore and he said well news for you I'm going to do this and this and this and post your pictures on Facebook and I thought thought, no, he won't do that. So your sexy pictures? Yes, my very intimate, very sexy pictures. He said, if you break up with me, they're going on Facebook. Yep. What a way to try to keep a girlfriend.

Yeah. Yeah. And I thought, wow, this has to be a joke. Guys, come on. And so the next day I woke up with tons of messages and missed calls from my friends like, guys, what's going on? What happened? Dude, there's pictures of you on

Facebook and that was meanwhile. It is illegal, but yeah. Was this pre the law? Because, you know, the law obviously hadn't caught up with technology. No. So that was crazy and I have

to live with that for the rest of my life and I have two kids. So whenever I have somebody look at me I wonder, like, have they seen the pics? Oh my gosh, no. That's horrible. But you didn't want to, like, go to the police? No, no, actually I just

thought, well, this guy the police or? No, no, actually, I just, I thought, well, this guy took it off Facebook and he blocked my Facebook. So, yeah, it was taken down. So I just thought. It's been taken down. I was going to say, in all honesty, there are companies you can go to. I wouldn't be able to say the name,

but you can Google them and then they can basically, like, cleanse you from the internet. If it was on Facebook, they can, yeah, they would have been to, but even still, like, that's like, excuse my language, but what a piece of shit this man is. Yeah, man. You know, like, that is just low down.

That was wild. That was wild. Oh, my God. I feel like you've got such a great attitude after something like that happened to you. It's everyone's worst nightmare. You're absolutely entitled to see those pictures. Well, and I mean, just for those,

because they have passed laws now. Yeah. Revenge, and people have gone to court and been charged and prosecuted. Yeah. So, you know, if that happens to you, yeah, definitely. Go to the cops. No, that's crazy, and I can't think that people would stoop so low. But, yeah, it's actually ruined quite a few years of my life.

Oh, my friend. Because, like I said, you don't know who saw you, and it's very private parts of you, you know? The good part about this is you are no longer with that dirt bag. Oh, yeah. I'm so happy and I'm actually back with my ex-husband. Full circle.

Yeah. Full circle. Anonymous, thank you for sharing. Thanks for being here, guys. Really appreciate that. We can all take some learning from that. Some learning. Oh, my God, I know. Some wild text messages through. I feel like we've said earlier in the show that we're going to share

some extra messages from our first calls in earlier in the show. That we couldn't read out on air. I think we're going to have to add some of these in there as well. Okay, yeah, well, join us for today's little bit of pod when we talk about the weirdest things you were asked on a date that we couldn't read on air, and now the things you've been blackmailing. I blackmailed my boss.

She was having an affair with my other colleague. I blackmailed her first. For a pay rise? Then both for seven years. I got a good pay rise, good bonuses, work from home. I made her life hell because when I first joined, she made mine hell. And then how the table hath turned.

Bit of karma. Oh my god. I love that. This is, we're going to have to. I love that you're skimming and pre-reading. It's very hard. It's really hard. We cannot read out. Eight years ago.

I'm so scared. Blah, blah, blah. Tom, you didn't leave me out. I want to see my new girlfriend. Eight years ago. Oh, my God. This is game playing. Eight years ago, I broke up with my very toxic boyfriend.

After this, he was very mean and said a lot of nasty, untrue things about me to our friends and family. But also, secretly, he got himself a new girlfriend. I found out about this and told him I made a mistake and wanted him back. He agreed. I took all the messages of him saying I made a mistake and wanted him back. He agreed. I took all the messages of him saying how happy he was to have me back, blah, blah, blah,

and told him if he didn't leave me alone, I would send them to his new girlfriend. Well, that's like a good blackmail. They're still together. All right. Okay.

Wow. All right. Well, thank you for your messages. We'll read out the ones that we can't say on here in our podcast special. Maybe the anonymous phone is here to stay.

It's certainly juicy. It's juicy. It's juicy. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. With Vaughan away we've taken care of the fact of the day today and I'll be presenting it on our behalf

What a great story we've got for you This is amazing Today's fact of the day is about how in sports competitions changed forever. So how, you know, contestants can go in and you ever go and put the ball in the hoop? Like halftime, they're like, if you get this ball in from halfway, you win $10,000 or a million dollars. Yeah. Well, in 1993, a few years ago, 30 years ago.

A while ago. A fan at a Chicago Bulls game, which is, of course, Michael Jordan. Yeah. This was when the Chicago Bulls were, like, massive. And everybody had a Chicago Bulls starter jacket. That's right. Yep. And now they do again.

And now they do again. Yep. They were at a Chicago Bulls game in Chicago, so at home court, and they had one of these halftime games. There was a man there who were all lining up to do it. There'd been 20 attempts to do this. His name's Don Calhoun.

Okay. And there was 20 attempts to do this over the whole season. None of them had gone in. If you could throw from 75 feet a ball. That's halfway, right? Yeah. Single-handed from the halfway line into the hoop,

a million dollars. So one-handed. One-handed they made the roll. I know. Because most people would go like either underhand or, yeah, okay, underarm, like two arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Or like, like dunk it properly.

I wouldn't be able to go over. I wouldn't be able to. The chances, we worked out, based on how many people had failed and how close they got, had a 1% chance of getting it in, 1% chance of winning a million dollars. Now that's still higher than us winning the lotto tomorrow.

Is it though? Not with the ticket I've got. I always get drawn. I get drawn towards the lotto shop. I'm like, this is the shop I should purchase from. Okay. How's that going for you so far? Because sometimes you get drawn and then you don't get it.

And then you hear that that store won and you're like, that was my ticket. Okay, sure. That's literally never happened to me. Yeah. Anyway, so he was like standing with the ball in his hand. He was going for the shot. He threw it in. Boom.

Straight in the basket, right? Million dollars. Million dollars. Everyone goes absolutely mad. So I think they played out the fuss of it all. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, the team come in and they like love him and stuff. And then the team left for the night.

Turns out the man was never given his money because the insurance company disqualified him from the competition because he had played basketball in college. Now, playing basketball, it's not like me, like, throwing a little, you know, hockey stick around in primary school. If you play basketball in college in America, it's, like, kind of a big deal. So they were like, actually, you have skill that we should have been told about.

You had a higher chance of getting this in. So it's not a valid throw. For people that don't know, like, you know, those like rugby do the same thing, like kick a ball at halftime. They might do like a win $50,000 if you can get it over. Similar things, there's insurance that you buy. We've had insurance for events like beach digs. You might give away a million dollars.

But there are so many criteria and things. And then you pay, as a company, you might pay like $10,000 for this insurance. Because the chances anybody is going to win it, one or two goes, it's nothing. So then, yeah, so this insurance company basically, because they don't want to pay you a million dollars. They want you to feel like you can win a million dollars, but they don't want you to have it. They don't want to pay you that. Oh, hell no.

So they pulled this insurance thing and said that they can't have it. He basically like took it to the law and they were like, no, as you said, there's all these things. And he would have signed something as well. He would have signed something. He would have not read it. And in that document would have said, do you have any prior basketball experience? Anyway, so he didn't get the money.

Imagine that. You throw it. You think you've just become a millionaire. However, once the Chicago Bulls heard about this, they paid the money. Oh, wow. And so he did get a million. Because in 1993, a million dollars,

that would be so much money. I'm trying to see if they paid the whole amount. Surely not. No. So the way they do it is he would receive 20 annual $50,000 payments as well. Right. So that's how that million dollars. It's just like you've got a job, but you're not working.

Yeah, exactly. So that's how that million would have worked. Okay. But they didn't do it. Right. So that's how that million dollars. It's just like you've got a job, but you're not working. Yeah, exactly. So that's how that million would have worked. Okay. But they didn't do it. Right. So Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan and all that, they banded together and they gave him the money. Holy.

Yeah. And they did it in the same way. Right. $50,000 check, $50,000 check. And that kind of changed sports promotions like that forever. Yeah, it did because they were like, like made the insurance thing clearer and now you probably won't win a million dollars.

No. They just made it less because they're like, oh, people can actually do this. So today's fact of the day was a fun story from Chicago about a man who threw a $1 million shot, got it in, didn't get his million dollars and then the Chicago Bulls paid it anyway and it changed sports competitions forever.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Well, we did ask, we had a poll yesterday because after we finish the show, we've got the Girl Math logo or the Girl Math logo. We've got the Girl Maths logo and the Girl Math jingle. So that says Girl Math and then we were like, should it be math or maths?

And the hashtag that's, I want to say, become a viral sensation is Girl Math. Because in New Zealand, we say math and maths. Well, you say, what have you got next period?

You'd be like, maths. I've got maths. Yeah. But if you do the math. Yeah. Or do the math. But then the poll results were kind of 50-50 as well.

Yeah, they were. None of us know. So I think we'll just go girl math? I think we'll go girl math. This is easy to say. Now, if you've missed girl math, it's gone global. Girl math is when

you need help justifying a purchase and we, the girlies on the show, will help you to girl math it. So basically, you're not really paying that much at all. Sometimes to the point where it's basically free. It's basically free. In fact, most of the time it does end up being basically free. Absolutely.

Now, I'm a little worried this has gone viral and global because... Why are you worried? Brad Olsen, principal economist at Datametrics. Infometrics? Infometrics. Approved it himself. Only if the item is worn and used to death. Women don't do that.

No, women do not do that. And I'm worried because inflation is not just New Zealand. It's global. Yeah. And if we're encouraging people all over the world with girl math to buy things they don't need, it's only going to make things worse. And if we're encouraging people all over the world with girl math to buy things they don't need, it's only going to make things worse. Well, we talked yesterday about my mum girl mathing an Italian Sicilian silk dress.

And if you want to see her in that dress, because good lord, she looks gorgeous. She looks very glamorous. That's on my socials. And that was basically free as well, wasn't it? Essentially. Because she's wearing it to all these weddings. Essentially.

And then cost per wears. Plus the silk. Can't even see this morning when I dropped the photo to the group chat. It didn't even need girl mathing. It was just an essential purchase. It was just essential. However, we girl mathed it and now it's basically free. And now it's gone global.

We're on an Australian website. I've got too many bloody tabs open, don't I? Are you shopping? I'm girl mathing. We're on an Australian website called Mamma Mia. Oh, that's a huge podcast. Massive podcast. Yeah, massive podcast. And they said, I just discovered girl math

and now everything makes sense. They love it. I think that podcast has like two million downloads a month. Yeah. In Australia. They said, I came across this concept on TikTok via a video from New Zealand radio show Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. That's us. Oh my God.

And then they talked about our example with the handbag. Yeah. Host Hayley explained that if Andrea chose to save the Fawn, it's really fun. Okay, right. Yeah. And then we're on a UK website. And I love this.

FVHZM, this is called Screenshot. FVHZM is a daily morning radio show hosted by three people, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. That's us. We were on the news in the UK. The trio are definitely most well known for their pretty iconic recurring series, Girl Math. It even has a jingle. I think we've done it like four times.

Three times? And yet, it is our most iconic thing. Yeah. Also, and they described it as, so every couple of days, the FVHZM crew will read out a letter from a listener who's seeking some Girl Math advice. And in turn, the on-air fabulous female radio hosts,

now they do include in that, Shannon and Carwen. There you go. You've made the news in the UK. Well then, expertly justify and defend any purchase that might be up for debate. See what you've done?

You've made this go global. I've never been more proud of something of mine. Look at this. Girl math. Girl dinner. Girl lunch. I mean, we're living in the golden era of girl content

and I couldn't be more delighted about it. Our Barbie era might be coming to a close, but there's a problem to be solved. But where there's a problem to be solved, there'll always be a woman to solve it. Plus, you might get a free dress out of it. It's basically free. Well, it is basically free, isn't it?

It is basically free. Well, some exciting things to come for GirlMath. I mean, honestly, one, we've decided it's GirlMath. Yeah, and you've been working on a little something that you can announce in the next couple of days. A little side project with the girlies. Something exciting you might be able to get your hands on. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

If you're on the dating apps, you know how it goes. You've got to check your best pictures and then your most key information. The profile bit's really, really short and you don't really get to share enough information. And that's why you end up, like, getting a bunch of losers and no one chooses you. Let's be honest.

Sure. Let's be honest. I didn't realise this. Did Maddie and Ryan meet on Tinder? Yeah, I think they did. They did. Our friends, yeah. I've got a few.

Oh, yeah, sorry. We just broke into a chat off your channel. Yeah. But I know a few people that got married. And that's not, like, unusual now. No, it's not unusual now. I mean, some people, like, will lie about it. Yeah.

But, God, we've heard so many horror stories. So many horror stories of dating apps. Because you just can't find the right people. Now there is a small but ever-growing trend that I'm kind of into. And I'm happy this isn't an Excel spreadsheet. It's very close. It's a doc. It's a Google doc.

It's a Google doc. It's a Google doc that you can share around. Spreadsheets, the cells, the formatting, I find it so... I love... I had to Google the other day how to automatically add all the cells. Or some.

Yeah, but I don't know how to do that. I'll give you a lesson. Thank God there's a YouTube tutorial for everything. For literally everything. So this is basically, it's a long file, so you could have a long doc. It could be pages long if you want, and it's like a resume.

It's like, I was going to say, it's like a CV. It's like a CV. You have your little photo in the corner, maybe a few key facts up top. Marching, cats, renovation. Though I wouldn't be renovating if it wasn't with Aaron. You know what I mean? Marching, cats, Aquaman, food, wine.

Favourite movies? Aquaman. Yeah, sure. Favourite person? Aquaman. Anyway, so you would make this whole thing and then you can kind of go into more detail like views on life, religious beliefs,

sexual preferences, do I want kids, where do I see myself going, a little bit about my job, maybe another cute photo on page three. Like, okay, this all sounds quite wholesome and nice. Yeah. But on the other hand, aren't you just making a PDF for somebody to steal your entire identity? Well, don't put your credit card number on it.

Or date of birth, address. Date of birth, yeah. Anything that people, like mother's maiden name. Yeah, don't put that. First cat. My first cat was Ruffy and I lived on this street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of that.

Maybe be mindful of putting out too much info. Yeah. So what you do is you then share it on your socials. You might put it on your Twitter, your Instagram, your TikTok or whatever. And you put it out your Twitter, your Instagram, your TikTok or whatever, and you put it out there as a read-only doc so no one can edit it, obviously, because then it'll start being like,

blah, blah, blah. Imagine that. Imagine if someone edited it. Yeah, and then people can contact you directly, knowing a bit more about you. Okay. And make a more informed decision. Because you just can't have that much info on a dating app.

You can't. And also people are just selling, because it's so concise, they're selling the best parts about themselves and then saving all the worst for later. I reckon try this. If you feel like you've got more to share. Yeah, it's different.

Write a little, it's called a date me doc. And give it a go. Hey guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it.

I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Yeah, like, no, no, no, we'll just,

maybe we won't say no. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that.

And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though.