ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 8th March 2024

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

Top 6: Women  Hayley & Vaughan in Fletch's Bathroom  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings: Last Names  Morgan Penn!  Lucinda Light!  Hayleys Hectic Afternoon!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Happy Friday. And?

Happy International Women's Day. Thank you. Happy International Women's Day. Now, Vaughan came in and shook all the women's hands. What have you done to celebrate us today? I just said good morning because I celebrate women every day. Good from you. So I don't have to do anything different like Vaughan does today.

Because usually he comes and gives us all a slap on the arse. Yeah. He says, get out of here, ladies, let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Fetch us a cuppa. Yeah, not today. You're going to deal with International Women's Day in the top six form.

Yeah, some men wouldn't be brave enough to do it, but I'm naming the top six women. Okay. I've got my fingers crossed. You're in there? This is like a real wide net. Oh, okay. Of all women. Right.

And that's not where it stops. Today's fact of the day, it's things named after where they were invented. Woman's edition. But it's a wide net. That means Hayley's not part of it. If the net is that wide, how did me,

say, Carwin, Shannon... Because you're so skinny, you've slipped through the net. Oh my God, the holes in the net have just gone straight over. I've slipped through the holes.

That's what's happened there, girls. Just in case we don't get mentioned. Oh, yeah, relax. Five on time returns at 8 o'clock this morning and our current jackpot, $23,000. Do you know what? I'm excited about that. Yes.

And please don't let this seem like I'm not excited about that. But right afterwards, we've got an interview that I'm very, very, very, very excited for. And this is in studio too. It's not a Zoom or on the phone. One of your heroes of maths. Lucinda with the lovely voice. Oh my God. This is fantastic.

I hope it's a tantric experience. It's Lucinda. She is just the greatest thing. I'm so excited. I know Jared will be excited too. He's going to want a photo. He's going to want a photo. He's in the group chat, the maths MFs.

She's in after 8 o'clock this morning, after 5 on time. Hopefully we can give away that $23,000. I'm actually listing out for that activator. Next on the show, what kind of breakfast should you get as a man if you're looking to impress a woman? Oh.

Because Aaron used to get the big boy breakfast at our local pub and it really turned me off. When he would turn and say to them, no, when he would just say the words, can I please have the big boy breakfast? Right. It's not hot, is it?

It wasn't hot. Well, we talked on Friday Rankings a couple of Fridays ago about the best thing to order off a breakfast menu at every cafe. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, when you go out for breakfast, what you order is? Well, I mean, apart from... Are we going to do post-show breakfast today?

Holy moly. I don't know. Oh, I know. Well, you're not eating carbohydrates, so you can't have lackeys famously made of delicious potatoes, which are... Why would you say that to me on International Women's Day? Well, no, you've made a big deal about it.

You've done this to yourself, haven't you? Yeah. So I you? Yeah. So I guess post-show breakfast cancelled today. No, we can go, I'll just order an egg on a plate. It's more about the cherished time with my boys. Okay, that's not sexy. Crying and saying,

I'll just order an egg on a plate. Or a side of salmon. Apparently if you're looking to order a breakfast to attract women, gentlemen. Now this is English research. Okay. You get the full English. Oh, big boy.

That's your big full breakfast. Your big breakfasts. It makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Is it because it's masc? I believe so. Because I can eat so much? Yeah. It's always too much for me.

I never ever order the big breakfast. Croissants, waffles, pancakes, pastries, muffins and cereals make you less attractive.

Yeah. Even here if you order a croissant, I'm like, I just did a croissant with some jam, please. What about an eggs benny?

I'll either go an eggs benny or a scramble or an omelette. For eggs benny, for me, because I never get benny. It's basic. It's medium mass, isn't it? It's basic beer, yeah, it's medium mass.

Let me read you the French term at the University of Montpellier. Is this French? Oh, where were I? Claire, she said, in our experiment, breakfast resulted, resulting in an increase in attractiveness

comprised mainly of fats and proteins with a few refined carbohydrates. So how often would you be on a breakfast date, though? Look at it. Is it maybe you've seen this person a couple of times and maybe they've stayed over? Brunch. And you're going for brunch or you're meeting for brunch?

Yeah, I guess so. Order proteins. I mean, I go on breakfast dates with Aaron, but he's sort of past impressing me. Do you know what I mean? What would he have to do to impress you? Breakfast ordering wise. What would he have to order? To impress me because he's a big boy breakfast

would be something really like refined and sort of left field. Do you know what I mean? Like some kind of quinoa grain Buddha bowl. I know it because it would surprise me. It would surprise you but it wouldn't impress you. My man is ordering something quite classy

here. That might impress me much. You think that's the case but it would be like hearing a man order a croissant. Un croissant. I don't know. Unless he called the quinoa quinoa. Not quinoa. I did for the first year of knowing Quinoa. I don't know. I don't know. Unless he called the quinoa quinoa. Yeah. I did for the first year of knowing quinoa.

Yeah. Because I didn't know it was quinoa. I mean, how would we know? Yeah. Q-U-I, you know. What's your, so you're a, you're a, Benny, I think that's neutral maths. I'm more of an eggs, I'm scrambled eggs. Yeah. Scrambled eggs or an omelette or scramble.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm a big boy. I just generally float towards the bigger sounding. Yeah. Breakfasts. My dad, when I go with him, like, because he's not a sweet tooth guy, but for some reason,

because my dad doesn't go to brunch often, when we do, he'll always be like, oh, French toast with candy floss and ice cream. Oh, I might try that. And he always gets it. And my mum's always like, oh, Craig, because it's so much sugar. Oh, my, try that. And he always gets it and my mum's always like, oh, Craig, there's so much sugar. Yeah, there's a lot. You know those cafes that would be

like big mountains of candy floss and there's like berries and chocolate mascarpone and all that. That's what my dad gets. Was it Gen X that made going out for brunch? I think because my parents it blows their mind that you'd leave the house for breakfast. They're like, why would you?

We've got eggs and cornflakes. Exactly. At home. Because they live in the country so it's harder for them to go out. But even if we like go away with them to the Mount, for example,

like we did, going out for breakfast is just not on their radar. Oh my God, when you're away, that's like the best thing. It's just the best meal of the day. They just don't consider it. Oh my God, brunch rules.

Yeah, brunch is great. We are going, we're going for a break. It's not that generation. It must have been the Gen Xers that popularised brunch. Gen X into millennials. Well, that's why they have like four houses. God damn them.

God damn them. Because of all these brunches. Yes, because they don't go out for brunches. Because sometimes I literally will say out loud, man, I feel like a $35 breakfast. Yeah. You know? Man, I'd love to blow a couple of days food budget on one meal.

Next on the show, Air New Zealand is cracking down on something. Not happy. Well, you experienced this very thing just last week. I actually sure did. I sure did. And maybe you're on board with this. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. On air apology, actually.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. On air apology. You're not gold. 16 past apology. You're not gold! 16 past 6. You're not gold! He spat at me basically. I'd like to apologise. You're about to hear two privileged brats. Yeah. Hayley, I apologise and I'd

just like to tell the nation that Hayley Jane Sproul is in fact a Goldie New Zealand member. Thank you. Must be nice. Must be nice. It is nice. Now, we are discussing this because a Reddit thread started discussing the fact that Air New Zealand's a bit more looser

than Jetstar with carry-on bags. Oh yeah, man. As long as you've got good shoulder strength, you can make a little bag full of 20 kgs of goods look like a 7kg and they'll never question it. You never get your bag weighed. But apparently, people then on this post

were saying, no, actually, lately, they have been cracking down on it. And it did lead News Hub to ask Air New Zealand if this, in fact, was the case. And they have said the Air New Zealand GM of airports, Kate, confirmed the airline... Kate, just Kate airline. Just Kate. Kate Boyer confirmed that they.

First name basis, hey, this bloody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why does, I don't know, Kate. She comes out and welcomes me aboard personally. I wasn't confident on how to say her last name, so I wasn't going to say it. No. Boyer.

Boyer. Boyer. B-O-Y-E-R. Yeah. Is it Boyer-kisha? Boyer-kisha. Oh, Kate Boyer-kisha. Air Boyakasha. Oh, Kate Boyakasha. E-New Zealand GM of airports, Kate Boyashaka,

has confirmed that the airline is taking a closer look because people are taking the mickey. And we experienced this last week because we were quite late on the plane, eh? Yeah, we were. By the time we got to the gate, we were like the end of the line. So we're like, whatever.

And then your bag had to go halfway down the plane. To row 14. That's not on. No. And then when we were getting off, because another one of my friends got on the plane and he was at the back, and I had texted Corey and been like, hey, dude, when you come up, can you grab my bag?

It was a whole rigmarole. Then he rear exited, so I was stuck with it. And then you had to ask that really big strapping man. I was forced. He was incredibly good looking and you had to ask him. I said, excuse my hair. And he got the bag for me. But then as other people were disembarking, they were passing me in row two and getting their bags from above me.

Yeah, that was cheeky. So they were filling it up, but everyone had these massive bags. Yeah, there were people taking the piss. That drives me potty when you see someone dragging a wheeled bag on. And you can as long as they're small enough. And then they're like a full size luggage. Packed, eh? Or like those massive sports bags and they've stuffed them full.

So 7kgs and you're allowed a personal laptop bag or a handbag or whatever. Yes, but if you were a stickler for the rules, your laptop and your handbag and your wheel-on bag is all supposed to be 7kgs. Yes. The pieces, it's not 7kgs per piece. So I, because remember when, because Jetstar does the weigh and tag now.

When Jetstar first started doing that and I was flying Jetstar flights, I would charge – I'd put my laptop in the corner and charge it and then I'd go weigh my bag and then come back and be like – But it's all for safety because everything's weighed and then, you know, they have the take-off weights. I don't know that I've fluctuated 20 kgs the last two years. Well, they're not... Rude of them to even insinuate.

So let's just say that I was my lighter weight with the same luggage. But also it does say in the article that loyalty program members, gold status or higher, get 14 kgs. And how much for us everyday people? Just seven. Just seven. And it will be. Everyday people. Just seven. Just seven. And it will be. Everyday people.

In row 24. I wouldn't have Karu if work didn't buy it for me. Because there's no way I'm paying that money. For a cold chicken coronation sandwich. And some beers that I don't actually like.

And some rather dry pasta salad. 20 past six. Next up on the show, the top six. Top six woman. It's International Woman's Day. Some would be scared to rank them. I'll do it. Next.

Weird that we didn't get another day off for International Woman's Day this year. Yeah. I tried. Since I've been here, that's never been a thing, and it won't be a thing while I'm here. It's a lump it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there. Today is International Women's Day, and to those that celebrate, merry day. To those that celebrate. To those that celebrate. You've got to say that before any holiday. Now those that celebrate. To those that celebrate.

You've got to say that before any holiday. You've got to say that now before any holiday. Anything. Just as you get cancelled. International Donut Day. Happy International Donut Day. To those that celebrate. To those that celebrate. I dare it, be it for me, to be forcing donuts on you.

Yeah. No, don't do that. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. Happy Heineken to those who celebrate. Happy Easter to those who celebrate. God, I had a really intrusive thought yesterday because it's Easter and they've got all the bunnies out.

I really wanted to stick my finger through one at the supermarket. And my mind was like do it. You can be like, I was just testing it because it looked like someone had fingered it. I assume a child. Yeah. Great from you actually. Blame somebody else. But I didn't do it. I didn't know. My mind was like don'tered it. I assume a child. Yeah. Great from you, actually. Blame somebody else.

But I didn't do it. I didn't. No, my mind was like, don't do it. And it won over. You had to buy it afterwards. Yeah, I guess I could just do it and then buy it. You could buy it, then do it. Yeah, but it's not the same fingering it at home.

What happens? Because it's the naughtiness of doing it at the store. Yeah, it's the naughtiness. That's the intrusive thought. I would like to know, just side note before we get into the top six woman ever. If you work at a supermarket and what do you do with the fingered chocolate

eggs and rabbits? Well, I guess you have to eat it. Damaged goods, aren't you? Or would you discount it? By the way, I'm not saying please go and do this in a store. I'm just saying I had a dark passenger there. But, you're too chicken. Too chicken to finger it. Are you challenging?

Are you trying to Marty McFly? What's the matter, McFly? Chicken? Nobody calls me chicken. Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke. Anyway, sorry to derail you on International Women's Day. No, enjoy it. Top six women.

This shouldn't require the usual fluff and explanation at the top of a top six. Let's get straight into it. Number six on the list, Helen Keller. Yeah, great. Yeah, good. A woman that was deaf and blind and mute and invented Braille and such. Yeah.

What a marvellous thing to have done. Disappointed I'm not in that position so far, but Helen's great. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six woman, Rihanna. Okay. Why not? Is list of the top six woman. Rihanna. Okay.

Why not? Is this just a billion detractors? Well, no. Nothing against Helen Keller, but she's not my type. Why is she not your type? She's too white. Yeah, to be fair, she is way, very white. If Helen Keller's dad came from Persia, we might have ourselves an accusation, a standable accusation.

At least if she'd had a couple of Caribbean holidays. Or a bit of Bondi Sands. It was before her time. It was before her time. Also, I'm not fooled by Bondi Sands. Why not? I can see it in the face. I can see it in the face.

The lack of ethnicity. Yeah. Yeah. I know. it in the face. The lack of ethnicity. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's a dead giveaway. You need some kind of interesting nose or facial structure. The features of the eyebrows. The eyes themselves.

The almond eyes of a... What about if somebody was... What about if a real... Wait, I feel like my top six list is now just becoming about women's appearance, and that should not be the case on International Women's Day. I'm just saying, what about a really white woman with Bondi Sands and Holiday Resort braids? No. But that adds the kiss of ethnic-ness.

No. The braids. Appropriation is what it adds. Yeah, but we don't know because of the tan and the braids. Well, this is not what this is about. More than knows. Number five is Rihanna because of her business nonsense. She's a billionaire.

Yeah. She can sing. She's done business nonsense. She's a billionaire. Yeah. She can sing. She's done it all. She's a mother to two. She's doing everything. She just did her first live show in like eight years. Private. For an Indian billionaire.

And everyone was like, why did she do that for $6 million? Well, it turns out she was just doing it as a backdoor to get her Fenty products into India. She did it. Business. For the it. Business. For the bigger payday. We've all performed at an Indian wedding just to... Get a bit of business going. We all have.

We are actually available for Indian weddings. We're available for any wedding. Any wedding. Any billionaire's wedding. Probably should have led with that. We are available for any billionaire's wedding. Even an upper millionaire. I wouldn't say no to an upper millionaire wedding. Even an upper millionaire. I wouldn't say no to an upper millionaire wedding.

Upper, upper, upper. Do you know what I mean? Tens of millionaires. Tens of at least, yeah. Number four on the list of the top six women. Princess Diana. Oh, yeah. Cheers to Princess Diana.

I won't argue with that. You simply can't argue with the people's princess. I need to take a drink halfway through this. She cleared a lot of landmines too. She did. I don't know if you know, but she did a lot of landmine clearing. Don't argue with that. You simply can't argue with the people's princess. I need to take a drink halfway through this. She cleared a lot of landmines too. She did. I don't know if you know, but she did a lot of landmine clearing. Don't look at me. I have not finished my life yet.

I might clear landmines. Did she hold the machine or did she just do a photo op? She drove the concrete roller. Okay, good. She did a lot. She did a lot. And, God, she rocked a short sneaker. She did, what do you call it?

Athleisure. Before athleisure was athleisure. I just imagine the world would be a better place if she was still with us. Yeah. Cheers to Princess Di. There's always three of us in that relationship, isn't there? She's so good. So much breath.

Number three on the list of the top six women. Actually, sorry to interrupt. Princess Diana had Olivia Rodrigo eyes Always a bit innocent Always looking up for my eyes Yeah Look She kind of looked at you upwards

I guess you could say there were three of us in that relationship Number three on the list of the top six women Ruth Bader Ginsburg RBG Hard to argue with that That I'm not in that position actually She's done a lot more than I did She did a lot.

Some would argue, though, that she should have stepped down from her Supreme Court role when they could have appointed another Democrat, Vaughn. That is true. Because she stayed there until she died and then they've replaced her with a Republican. A righty. And now embryos are children. Apparently. I think they're fully grown adults.

Yeah, they are. Embryos are. Guns are also adults they're full of grown adults. Yeah, they are. Yeah. Embryos are. Yeah. Yeah. Guns are also adults and have lots of rights. Privileges. Yeah. I think actually just the thought of a baby is an adult now.

Yeah. So once you think of a baby, you're not allowed to not. Are your balls full of adults? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so every time when. Riddled with adults. Every time that you, you know, release, moida.

Genocide, some may say. Genocide, some may call it. Number two on the list is the top six woman. The Virgin Mary. You've lost me on that one. I think I could have been number two. Well, I'm just saying it's 2,000 years later and people still believe she was a virgin.

Yeah, I was like, well, I think we could put virgin in quotations these days, couldn't we? Yeah. We've all had a wild night out and made excuses for it. I don't know, whatever. Number one on the list of the top six women.

Your mum. And that's not just a your mum, that's not even a your mum joke. Your mother is a very important woman. Yeah. Usually number one.

You would not be here without her. I'm going to challenge you here. Would your mum be the most important woman to you over your wife? Yeah, my wife's not done jack shit. Nah, she's still in bed.

And no one tell her I said that! And we're going into the weekend! You know the podcast narcs all night? I'm the dumb narcs! Podcast narcs! Narcs. She does great stuff. But she is her daughter's mother,

so she would be number one on their list. Yeah, good save, Vaughn. But she didn her daughter's mother, so they would be, she would be number one on their list. Yeah. Good save, Vaughn. But she didn't raise me. Shout out to my mum. My mum's my number one. Yeah, mum's rule. Number one mum.

Mum's rule. Jared, producer Jared just said he's going to make the ad. Don't make the back show. You know the ad that plays, it's like, Fletch, Ford and Hayley, and then it's going to be that. Yeah, do a clip from the show. Yeah, that would be perfect. I'll change all the presets on the car radio and she'll never hear it. And then we've lost the listener, Jared.

Is that what you want? Directly responsible. That's today's top six. After work yesterday, we had a little event, didn't we, that we attended. Just another corporate function. Well, you know what Vaughan's passion in life is? Making this company money. Yeah.

And we were there to assist him do that, basically. And I thank you for your assistance. Now, the three of us went to the gym after the show and so we needed showers. We were on a tight sketch and we went to your house. You did a gym shower. I did a shower at the gym. Oh, yeah.

But needed some finishing touches. I know. It's pretty nice. It's not bad. Is it? Okay. I know. I can't imagine what they look like.

I showered at the gym because I was shaving my head. Oh, okay. And I didn't want to do that to your bathroom. Oh, thank you. Good boy. It's really nice. Good boy. I don't know.

Gym showers just say to me, athlete's foot. I've never got athlete's foot from a gym shower. Neither have I. I've got athlete's foot from a pool's really nice. Good boy. Gym showers just say to me, athlete's foot. I've never got athlete's foot from a gym shower. Nor have I. I've got athlete's foot from a pool's changing room. Oh, yep. I do believe. They also scream. Wet concrete.

You know, like, a lot of people wear flip-flops in the shower. I can't do that. It's like, wet flip-flops are yuck. I do. I wear flip-flops. I'm not taking flip-flops somewhere. No, neither. They're just in my gym bag.

They take up such minimal space. Ooh, you shower in flip-flops. And then you put them back in wet. Yeah. You shower in flip-flops. I'm not taking flip-flops somewhere. No, neither. They're just in my gym bag. They take up such minimal space. Ooh, you shower and flip-flop. And then you put them back in wet. Yeah. You shower and flip-flop. Yeah. Rather than raw target. Because then you put it back in your bag

and then put your bag in your car and it just sits there. You dry them with your towel. Ooh, now it's on your towel. Yeah. Look, I don't shower at the gym anymore. Why do you get thrush willy-nilly? Hey, don't curse me. I've hadnilly? You've got athlete's fanny.

Don't curse me. I've had a really good summer. Athlete's fanny. That's from sitting on the shower floor at the gym. And you need that stuff. You need to sprinkle it in your undies. After a big workout, you've got to sit down and drink. Oh, God.

I don't think that should go near your vagina. Yeah, PSA. Don't put Grant's Remedy near your fashina. Now, anyway, we went back to your house and I showered at your house. And I just, I've showered quite a lot at Fletcher's as of late. It's a good bathroom. It's a very nice bathroom. Not only is it a great bathroom to take dating profile pictures in.

Oh, you all saw it. As many have. As many have. Yeah. They have. But he's got lots of good products, doesn't he? He's got great products. And now that I've been more comfortable,

I just sort of help myself. This is outrageous. In my show. We used to, when we worked afternoons, sometimes go to a gym in the morning together and then I couldn't be bothered trekking all the way home. So we'd go to Fletcher's place for a protein shake. Oh, my boy.

And a shower. And a fit bra ball. And he always used to say, just a 20-cent piece as I was going in the shower. He would use way too much liquid soap. I'm washing my body, baby. Absolutely. I'm using a handful.

Oh, my God. I would go through soap. I would go through soap. Yeah, but you bought this pink, lush, fairy soap. We discussed it, and you really poo-pooed it. I was like how embarrassing for this grown-ass man in his beautiful black-on-white, black-on-black

shower bathroom to have this pink, fairy dust. It's great. I tell you what. It's a special occasion in soap. It's a lovely experience. Wait, you used it? 100%. Wow. Now I haven't gone as far as to use your shower loofah. I use my hands when I shower your house. Oh, yeah.

I don't share a loofah. I don't use another human loofah. Especially with your athlete's fanny. Especially with me athlete's fanny, I don't want to be spreading that around. Thank you. Thank you. So, I used quite a bit of the Lush Body Wash yesterday. I really got into it. Wow. After papilling it. It leaves a light shimmer on the skin.

So, I went for that. Smells great, eh? Do you have a pair of tweezers? Nah. Nah, I looked yesterday I couldn't find one because I had a couple of the draw-to-the-drawer

rogue monobrow hairs popping through. You don't go through other people's drawers. But your mirror's the problem. He's got this ring light mirror that never fogs up. At home, we don't have that.

So I never see myself in that sort of light and then I looked in the mirror and I was like, I could see a couple of rogue. The mono. Monobrow hairs. I was like, those need plucking. So I searched through your drawers.

There's no way. I don't have tweezers. Everybody should have tweezers. What if you get a prickle? I'll have to look between your brows today and make sure that you don't need a set. But I also, in the shower, because you've got a lovely sensitive man face wash

for the sensitive man. And I thought, well, I've got a bit of residue on my face. No, you've got that wrong sensitive man face wash for the sensitive man. And I thought, well, I've got a bit of residue on my face. No, you've got that wrong. It's sensitive skin. I thought it was sensitive man face wash for the sensitive man. I'm a sensitive man.

Yeah, all right. Have I bought the wrong stuff then? So I think you have. Okay, right. So as a sensitive woman, I was like, well, that'd be perfect. So I did a scrub, an exfoliate and a wash. Wow.

Okay, so you've now used all the products in my shower. Well, then I come out because I've got dry skin, and I was like, oh, my skin's dry after that wash. So I open the drawer. Oh, we got what we got. Wow. He's always got a big old tub of sorbolene. You can always count.

Oh, yeah, there's always sorbolene. You can always count on the tub of sorbolene. And then, Vorno, you were up in the bathroom. I was up because I, as I said, shaved and showered at the gym. But then I didn't post-shave moisturize. Now, if you shave your whole head, you'll realize afterwards, you'll just be like, that feels a bit dry. A bit tight.

So I went into the bathroom, and at the same time, I was searching through the drawers for the tweezers. Yeah. I found this little post-shave balm. Yeah. That's good stuff. Was it nice? Was it?

Had a big 50 cent of that. Did you use the Aesop stuff? Oh, I don't know. It was in like a tin tube. Yeah. That's good stuff. Was it nice, was it? Had a big 50 cent of that. Wait, did you use the Aesop stuff? Oh, I don't know. It was in like a tin tube. Yeah. It was very nice. He's used the Aesop. God, that's going to be $10 a squirt.

It was very, very nice. Oh, I'm going to have to start charging a $2 fee, I think. You do look great though today, Vaughn. I think it's lingered. And a little sensitive today. And I feel a little sensitive. You're a sensitive girl. You don't just go in someone's shower and use their things.

Well, I had a good fish because I was looking for the hair dryer as well, and that was in a different drawer. Well, yeah, because I don't have hair. Yeah, I know, but you have one for your lady guests, you know, where Margaret would stay. Because she's got that beautiful, thick, long hair. Yeah. What is Margaret's background?

Is Margaret Armenian? Are you a Polynesian? I thought Armenian. Is Margaret a Northern Greek? I think this has to stop because people are starting to ask me about Margaret. I'm sure she doesn't exist. Can we get an AI of Margaret? Can we get an AI of Margaret? She's not full Polynesian. I thought she was Armenian

but that was the hair. The thick black hair was definitely. And the prominent sort of like strong facial features of an Armenian. Stop distracting from the fact that you're stealing my bathroom products. Stop leaving them out willy nilly. You will be banned from using my shower. Unless it's a $2 fee.

Anybody listening right now has got some keywords they'd like to chuck into this AI generation of what they pictured Fletcher's Margaret to look like. Why do we need to use AI? Just give us a photo of her. She's real, isn't she? She doesn't exist. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little silly little boy, silly little boy, silly little boy. Now this was an article that was written and it's an opinion from a top economist. Is it our top economist?

You best believe it's our top economist. Bad news. Brad. Bad, baddie. Baddie. Brad. Bad, baddie. Baddie boy, Brad. It's just a poll he ran on Instagram, right? Like, what do you prefer? That's the thing.

When you're an economist and you run a poll on Instagram, it's official, baby. It's science. Well, the debate was, on a birthday or an occasion, is it best to give a gift or the cash equivalent? And we've chucked vouchers in the mix there. Yeah. What did his poll result come up with?

I've got to say he harps on a bit. Wow. I was going to say it sort of goes on a little bit. Now, there's pros and cons of each, but cash is king. Yeah, okay. Because it's not a waste of money. If Aaron gave you cash for your birthday, it's not very sentimental.

Well, I know, but if... Not thoughtful. Yeah, but he sort of does sometimes in a choose-your-own-gift way. Yeah. You know? Okay, well, here are the results. The leader in our poll is a physical gift.

49% of people said a physical gift. Cash is second at 32%, and voucher is third at 19%. Which shocks me. I love a voucher. Yeah, same, which also is a physical gift, right? I know, but the voucher gives you cash but with some limitations, which I enjoy.

There's not many people I would give cash to as a gift. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Kids. Yeah, kids and that's it really, right? Grandchildren. Yeah, one day maybe. You know, when you open up a card and you're like, ooh,

there's something shaking about in there, $20 note from Nana. Yeah, but they're not moving with inflation, are they, grandparents? $10 just ain't what it used to be in the 80s. Hey, they're on the pension. Do you know what I, because I do this for my niece. I write a card for her every year about her life that year

and I put in some cash. That's cool. Yeah, I've done it since she was born. That's going to be worth utterly nothing by the time she's 18 when she gets through them all. It'll be the cards. And she'll probably spend it all on booze too.

I'll buy her booze on her birthday. Yeah, I know. That would waste her time really. Some feedback. Anne says cash these days because times be hard. That sounds like what she wants to receive rather than she wants to... Yeah. ...would be ever giving.

Physical gift. If it's something like... If it's something otherwise, just give them the cash so they can go buy it themselves. Okay. Susie depends who for on people that actually know me, my style and what I like. A gift. Yeah, I love a gift. Everyone else, including most family members, cash.

Best of all, experiences. So that's your vouchers. Yeah. Your dinner. Experiences come in voucher form, don't they? Because it's nice to receive something that you'd normally buy for yourself, says Kayla. That's why she selected gift. Yeah.

And Emma said money equals concert tickets. Yeah, true, actually. Yeah. Can you do like can you do like ticket master or ticket gift cards yeah that'd be cool that'd be cool

yeah would be I want you to go to a concert your choice yeah there's an idea for you but then also when you get cash

because you're gonna buy it for a concert but then like you end up going out that weekend oh yeah we spent it on groceries and like taxis and stuff.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's the little pile. Now Forbes always releases their list of the highest paid screen stars of the year. Now this is for 2023. Takes them some time to do the math, I guess. Yeah.

God. March. Lazy. Long summer, is it? Yeah. And I've got the top 10 highest paid actors. March Lazy Long summer is it? Yeah And I've got the top 10 Highest paid actors Are we going to be surprised

By this list? Well number 10 Denzel Washington When I think of Denzel I don't think of him Being the most active dude He's done the Equalizer movies Did another one of those

Come out last year? Securitum of Spolios Yeah yeah The third instalment Of vigililante trailer franchise equalizer. Trailer? Thriller franchise. How embarrassing for me. I did accept thriller and you read it as trailer.

Yeah, I did. We're going to do a dumb-dumb on our hands here. What's in this head of mine? Rocks. Rocks. Just under him in position. Sorry, that's with, this is American dollars as well, of course. $28 million.

Okay. Not bad. For like pretty much one movie. That's awesome. I reckon calling $28 million not bad is hilarious. Yeah. Number nine on the list is Ben Affleck. We're really not hitting the fleck enough.

Ben Affleck with $45 million gross. What's he done? I feel like all you see him as is hanging out with- CEO of studio startup Artists' Equity. Oh, and he did the Up in the Air movie, the Nike movie, didn't he? Yeah, but that wouldn't have made much money. Okay, yeah. No offence.

It grossed $90 million at the box office before moving to Amazon Prime. I really, really liked it. It was a cool movie, but it was not like a big, huge moneymaker. It wasn't a blockbuster. No. Really interesting story. He also has a number of steady streams of things. So does this include businesses as well?

Yeah. It's just the gross income. Okay. Jason Statham's in number seven. Well, he's a busy boy. He's a busy boy. He's a busy lad. He's got a movie coming out all the time.

All the time. Good and bad. I was going to say, he's never going to win an Academy Award. No. But he does a great action movie. And he's, like, the movies can be terrible, but he's never bad.

He's just, like, great, you know? Much like The Rock does a lot of movies. Yeah. And hence makes a lot of money. Exactly. Well, he's 48 million. He's in position seven. Does a lot of movies Yeah And hence makes a lot of money Exactly Well he's 48 million He's in position 7 Does a lot

Including Meg too Which is included there Number 7 Which surprises me That he's this far up the list Like this far down Should I say Leonardo DiCaprio

With 48 million So just a little bit richer In one year? Yeah I know But that was Flowers of the Killamoon. So that actors, but this includes all of their, this includes all of their income streams. Does he have businesses though?

Yeah, doesn't he own a production company? Yeah, he has a production company. Yeah, right. So any movie he does, he'd also be taking like a producer's job. But then you've got to minus a lot of his boat parties. He loves a boat party. He also struck a deal with Apple to get, buy out his theatrical profit participation. Well, I don't know what that means,

but he gets something for having the Flowers of the Killer Moon on Apple TV. Right, okay. So he got a deal there in his thing. At number six is Jennifer Aniston. Okay. At 56 million. Our first lady on the list. She's great, yep.

At number six. I mean, she does so on the list. She's great, yep. At number six. I mean, she does so much, and also the morning show is ongoing, like Tally is making money these days. No, New Zealand. Number four is Matt Damon, fourth richest of the year. Okay. 50 million gross. He does a lot.

He's a busy boy. And same thing, Never Bad. He did Oppenheimer. Great. Joint fourth, I beg your pardon, and the other biggest movie of the year, Ryan Gosling. Oh, okay. 50 mil.

Made a lot of money in Barbie. And then you've got merchandise and all that kind of stuff. He gets a cut of that. Now, here's your top three. Tom Cruise. Still going. Yeah. This bugger, right?

Still going. He had Top Gun and the new Mission Impossible movie last year. Both huge films. 53 million for that dude. Number two on the list is herself, Margot Robbie. Because that's her production company as well that did Barbie. That made Barbie, yep. And she's Barbie.

78 million. Who's going to be more than that? That's a jump of like 25 million. You've literally said all the movie stars. Number one at $97 million. This is the biggest movie star of last year. Yeah, in terms of being paid. It's got to be The Rock.

Adam Sandler. What? Adam Sandler. The same man. The best part about, I love Adam Sandler The best part about I love Adam Sandler And I've loved him All through like The terrible movies

Yes me too And now he's had a resurgence He's done If you haven't seen Uncut Gems He's simply masked Uncut Gems With the one that

He plays the basketball coach The name escapes me That's amazing I just started And I wish I hadn't started I wish I'd done an all in one-one go on a big screen TV, the new Spaceman movie that you sent. You started that at the gym.

I started it on a small screen. I might restart it on a big screen. That's how anyone that makes a movie about the vast expanse of space wants anyone to see their movie on a tiny screen at a gym. It's like Aaron watching Avatar on his iPad. It's embarrassing. Okay, so last year I'm looking, 2023,

he did Murder Mystery 2 with Jennifer Aniston. You're not invited to my bar mitzvah if you haven't seen that and you've got kids. You simply must. It's such a sweet movie.

Okay. Leo, an animated film where he plays like an iguana. Yeah. Spaceman. You get it. You can see how he quickly

gets up there. He's got the ongoing deal with Netflix. Oh yeah, didn't they pay him like 200 mil or something years ago? Insane amounts. Okay, well, he's the biggest.

And joint first position, Michael Galvin from Shortland Street. Chris Warren. No, no Kiwis on the list, I'm sorry. We love Michael Galvin. So how much did Adam Sandler make? 93 million American dollars. That's insane. The dude still looks like he earns minimum wage.

Yeah, I know. He rocks around wears basketball shorts. He rocks around in basketball shorts and hoodies. I love it. It's so good. I love it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. It's the final rankings.

Today, we're going to rank last names. This is going to be hard. Nah, I've decided there's way too many. I mean, it's infinite, really. We've already talked about English surnames. Oh, yeah. And there's some absolutely banging surnames out there from every race, region, language.

This idea came to us because of Cooper. Yesterday we talked to somebody. We talked about when you change your name and if whole family changed from Crapper to Cooper. And we were just like, yeah, that name is a strong surname. And then someone messaged in Ranger. I was like, that's a really great name. That's a really great last name. I mentioned earlier

because we could do last names of people we know to limit it because I've got a friend, Eagle, as a last name and Power. Yeah, Power's a good one. We get Austin Powers. I think we'll Austin Powers. Yeah, I know. Great name though. Yeah. I do have a question for Powers. Yeah, I know. Great name, though. I do have a question for you.

Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Anything that ends in er, I reckon. Fletcher's a good last name. Thank you. Fletcher's a really good last name. Also a good first name. Fletcher. Fletcher.

Yep. You could have a Fletcher Fletcher. I wouldn't go both. I wouldn't go Fletcher Fletcher. No, I would. It's a real shame I haven't had a son. Fletcher Fletcher. I wouldn't go both. I wouldn't go Fletcher Fletcher. No, I would. It's a real shame I haven't had a son. Fletcher Fletcher. What about like, I've got a list, sort of a list.

Thatcher? Thatcher's too synonymous. That's like saying Hitler. What about Cromwell? No, because that guy, there's also some attached issues with Oliver Cromwell. I wasn't Oliver Cromwell a real piece of shit. Oh, I don't know. The South Island town's named after him,

but he was quite a problematic figure. Oh, really? Historical figure. Okay, what about Barlow? Nah, Ken Barlow from Coronation Street. Yeah, nah, that's ruined that name, isn't it? And no offence to any of our Barlows or Cromwells or anything. Listen, we're talking purely fictitiously.

What about Smith? Nah. Oh, lame. Smith has got to have something in front of it. Gold Smith sounds better than Smith. Whitlock? Whitlock? White Lock? Whitlock. Whitlock's lovely. Nah Lame Smith has got to have Something in front of it Goldsmith sounds better Than Smith Yes Whitlock Whitlock

Whitlock Whitlock's lovely Whitlock's better than Whitlock Yeah I'm sorry Sam Yeah but it's also a sauce Yeah it's also a sauce Whitlock's

Whitlock's make a hell of a Chutney sauce Yeah I'm on a list Finch That's a great last name Nah because that reminds me Of Finchy off The Office

Oh yeah Finchy And Finchie off The Office. Oh, yeah. Finchie. And Finch from American Pie. Crawford. I quite like Crawford. You like the wines. Honeywell. Crawford wines.

Yeah, or Honeywell. Honeywell. I just googled cool surnames. Same. Someone said Butterfield and Honeywell are the coolest surnames. Butterfield. Armstrong. Is bloody cool.

Neil Armstrong. Reminds me of Neil and also Lance. Neil, we forget. We forgive and we forget. I've not forgiven Lance Armstrong. And bloody. Reminds me of Neil and also Lance. Neil, we forget. We forgive and we forget. I've not forgiven Lance Armstrong. And Armstrong Motor Group. I bought one of those. Yeah, Armstrong Motor Group.

Armstrong Prestige, is that? Yeah. I bought one of those yellow bands, Livestrong, Armstrong. And I've never forgiven them. I look like a damn fool rocking around with a charity bangle. I've got a Chadwick in here. Oh, yeah, that's a good. Yeah.

It feels like they demand power. Yeah, or Fukushima. That's on this list here of great surnames. No, no, because that was the nuclear power plant that had the meltdown after the... Fukushima. Someone said, some messages in, and please do hit us. Please do. We're going to ring them.

I don't even know how I'm going to start this. Sycamore. Besides because it's a strong tree, isn't it? It's after a tree. Stark. Game of Thrones. Strong. Strong, though. Oh, Strong is his last name. Yeah.

Jeremy Strong. He was the lead in that TV show, Succession. Yeah. Whitaker. Whitaker's a strong name. But also heavily associated with chocolate. Yeah, Forrest Whitaker. Yeah.

Someone said my last name is Adonis. Adonis. A Greek Adonis. What's the first name?is. Adonis? A Greek Adonis. What's the first name? Like Jenny Adonis? I hope it's Greek. Yeah. Literally, Greek Adonis.

Wolf. Oh, yeah. Good name. Great surname. Good last name. Wolf is fantastic. Someone said, keen for a take on Richmond. That's nice. I'm not mad. That's nice. I don't hate it. for a take on Richmond. That's nice.

I'm not mad. That's nice. I don't hate it. It's dainty. It's good if you've got money. It's dainty. Elders? Nah.

That's not bad. Fitzgerald is beautiful. No, ruined for me by a teacher. Really? Ruined for me by a teacher. Okay, right. Fitzgerald's great. All right, so Walsh?

Yeah, I know some Walsh's. It's got a soft end to it, doesn't it? Walsh. What about Gibson? Well, we know a Gibson. We do know a Gibson. Mike Gibson. Gibson.

That's nice. Feels like Gibson and Associates. And like lawyers. Gibson lawyers. Underwood. Somebody said we're going to do any time we love for an Underwood. Hawking. Stephen.

Oh, yep. Yep. King. I love King. King's in my top three. King's a great singer. Hayley King. Hayley King. Okay, I'm going to... I'll start with my top three. King's a great singer. Hayley King. Hayley King.

Okay, I'll start with my top three. It doesn't go with Hayley. No, it doesn't. It needs to be one syllable or three syllables, like Stephanie King. Stephanie King or Steph King. Yeah. That works beautifully, doesn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can go Steffi King. Billie Jean King. Billie Jean King. Yeah, that works. Okay, well, what are you going to go for top three? I'm going to go King as number three. I absolutely cannot pick three.

Neither do I. I don't know what we're doing here. This is impossible. King number three, Nightingale's number two, obviously. Nightingale. Nightingale. And number one is Cooper. I'm going to go Cooper.

Cooper, I really like. Yeah, I like Cooper too. Cooper, I'm going to chuck Ranger on the list because when someone said that, I was like, that is a rad last name. Unless your first name's Ford. And Fletcher. Ranger. Nah, you've got to go Wolf.

Wolf Ranger. Can you imagine meeting a man called Wolf Ranger? My pants have just miraculously fallen to the floor. I've taken my shirt off. My name's Wolf Ranger. Yes, it is. And we're like, no, it's not. And I am yours, Mr. Wolf Ranger.

I think I agree that Cooper's number one. I like a walker. No. Yeah, walkers. We know some walkers. Yeah, you've got friends that are walkers. That's a strong. What about Sproul? I like the last name Sproul. That's a terrible last name. Really? It does sound like you're sprawling. I like it and it suits you. You are a sprouter. I'm definitely Sproul. Maybe it's

because I've seen you sprawled. And it's too close to Sprout. It is. I know. That's why my mum who wanted to call Sam, my brother Ben, stopped herself. Ben Sprout. Ben Sprout. Ben Sprout. Ben Sprout.

Yeah. Wade? That's quite a little Wade. No. Wade. It makes me think that was your first name. How embarrassing. And it makes you feel like you're wading through a swamp.

Yeah. Wade. I think you're wading through. Yeah. I like the Cooper and Ranger ones. Cooper, Ranger, and Fletcher That'd be my top three So you're putting your own last name in the top three

Because I have a great last name There's modesty and then there's modesty I think we agree on Cooper I'll go with Ranger We're going to put King in there I'll go Cooper, Ranger and what should have been my family's last name Christofferson It sounds like a cheap vodka Kn Vaughan, it sounds like a cheap vodka.

No, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it does. Should we have some nice vodka or should we have some Christopherson? Yeah, it's $10.99 at the moment. You're sure I want a not-nop tomorrow? Listen, shit I drink every Saturday

will be pure ethanol if it's $10.99. I'm buying it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. Today and every day to be fair we are celebrating women. It's International Women's Day. Now we've got lovely women on this team. I don't take a day off.

No. Yeah. You don't. Of what? Every day. Worshipping women. Yeah, celebrating every day. Well, Margaret's a lucky woman.

I've said it once, I've said it twice. Actually, we finally got a photo. My precious gorgeous. Okay, yeah. I don't know if you know this, Morgan, but they've made up a once, I've said it twice. Actually, we finally got a photo. My friend, she is gorgeous. Okay, yeah. I don't know if you know this, Morgan, but they've made up a girlfriend and they've made an AI image. No, a wife. Oh, okay.

A wife? Was there a prenup? No. What? Oh, my God. It was the wedding. You didn't invite some of your closest friends. Oh, my God.

Anyway, sexologist, somatic sexologist. That's an AI-generated Margaret. That's an AI-generated Margaret. Is she hot? Dude, absolutely. She's a stunner. Oh, yeah, she's a stunner. She's a cinnamon hot. I's an AI-generated Margaret. Is she hot? Dude, absolutely. She's a stunner. Oh, yeah, she's a stunner. She's a hot.

I've done well there. She's an Armenian Sophie Vergara sort of. Morgan Penn, good morning. Welcome to the studio. Atta Maria. Atta Maria. And, oh, my God, you look incredible. Thank you.

Is this sparkly number in celebration of women? Absolutely. I love this. I know. It's not for the men, though. It's just for us. No, it's for us. I'll avert my gaze.

Thank you. Please do. Now, we wanted to talk to you about how we can celebrate ourselves as women on a day like this in which it's all about celebrating. Yeah, and I do like this. I think it's really important, right, the self-love piece but I also think on a day like

this where women compete a lot, it's a day of celebrating each other. Yes. So I really encourage you to, like, give compliments to people, women around you, like, not about how they look but how they're glowing or, God, you're funny. God, you're clever. God, you make me feel safe around you.

You know, really, like. Were those specific for me? Because they felt funny, tick, clever, tick. You've started it now. Make you feel safe. It all applies. It's true. You are going to need two more to get to five too if you want five things. No, that's fine. I'll take multiple compliments.

Okay, so we've got this facet, right? And actually Tammy Nielsen inspired me. Great musician. Oh, she's amazing. Great New Zealand musician. Well, she's not actually a New Zealander. She doesn't matter. I thought she was a actually originally New Zealand, is she? Doesn't matter. We've claimed her though. No, I thought she was a New Zealander that went to the States for so long and toured that,

but she got the accent. Or she's Canadian, came here, went there. I don't think it matters. Whoever, we've claimed her as our own. Anyways, what she said was, if someone opens the door for you in an industry that is male dominated and you're a woman, you put your foot in that door

and you hold it open as long as you can for as many other women that you can get in. And I am so about that life. We've got the air con going as well. You're letting all the bloody hot air out. In the studio. What are we, heating the neighbourhood? Like, come in, but hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.

Oh, you're all welcome. All welcome. Come on, come on, come on. You're going to be put in the naughty corner, Vaughn. You will. I think that's an awesome quote. I love that. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you've done that for me, didn't you? You opened the door into your world of podcast. Well. And I swanned, swanned in. Do no prep on the day, you know. Just rock on in. How am I? Welcome in.

And people say to me, hey, love your podcast. And I'm like, thank you very much. It would be nothing without you. You know that. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I love it though. Giving compliments, I love that because we're thinking about like loving yourself and how we can celebrate ourselves.

But yeah, compliments for other women. Yeah, it's beautiful. It makes us feel good. But in terms of, you know, it's so interesting. I think the human journey, like we are conditioned to not like ourselves all the time. 100%. What is the science behind that? What do you mean? I'm not a bloody scientist.

But why do we do that? You're dead right. There's got to be a reason why we do that. Why do we neg ourselves constantly? But has that been around for all time? Yeah. Oh, totally. And it's conditioning. You know, it's not good enough. We're not good enough. Our grades aren't good enough. Our parents are hard, it's not good enough. We're not good enough. Our grades aren't good enough. Our parents are hard on us

and so then we believe we're not good enough. It's just conditioning. It's just the human journey. If we were wild brumbies running around in the bush collecting berries, nobody would be judging us. I'd say you're more wild brumby than I am. Me? Yeah, you're closer to a wild brumby. Well, yeah. She bucks. I get nude a lot.

Yeah, you do. Run around the bush. But the thing is that it is important to have a strong sense of self to combat that conditioning. And so, you know, for me, self-love is showing up for yourself when you don't feel like you love yourself. And it's not about loving yourself every day. It's about acceptance and acceptance and gratitude of what you've got. Right?

We might not have the perfect body, but what we've got is probably enough, you know, to get us to where we need to be, to love who we want to love, to have pleasure with sexual or food or whatever that is. I want all of those pleasures. Yes, God dang it. I know it's international women's day. Am I allowed to seek pleasure? You can have pleasure from food and sex today as well.

You can also show pleasure women today if they consent to it. With both sex and food. Make your woman a steak. Yes. And then make her a steak. A steak. And then she'll say, I've made a huge mistake. Because don't forget the orgasm gap on a day like today.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Well, you know. Keeping in mind it's 20 minutes to 8 in the morning, what is that? That just means that if you're in a cis-hetero couple, men are way more likely to orgasm in an encounter than a woman is.

Below the wage gap, Vaughan. Not at my house. Not at your house. Okay. That's our vanilla warning. Haki Paki, my vanilla warning. Hey, vanilla ice cream always satisfies. That's our vanilla warning. Lucky, lucky, remind us. Our vanilla warning. Hey, vanilla ice cream always satisfies. It's a winner. I'll tell you what.

It satisfies. You know what you're going to get. It's not like when you get a fancy ice cream. Sometimes I want a goody-goody. Yeah, but what if you get a goody-goody gumdrops and there's not enough gumdrops in it? You're disappointed. Yeah, that's true.

You need to make sure there's enough gumdrops. I'm not promising vanilla. I'm not promising gumdrops. I'm promising vanilla. Twos. I'm promising vanilla. Two litres. Two litres of vanilla, baby. Look, we know you have a satisfied wife

and good for you. Good for you. I love this. I love this. This is great. Compliments. Give pleasure. Be kind to yourself today.

Yeah. And I mean, we don't want to dress, this is the thing, right? I've come in all shiny and gorgeous. But, you don't want to dress. This is the thing, right? I've come in all shiny and gorgeous. Because it makes you, you actually have. You, because it makes you feel good.

That's right. That's right. And, you know, the world, you know, you don't owe the world pretty. You know, that's a very, like, big statement at the moment. But that is the thing. Like, don't dress for others. Like, decorate yourself. Like, for the world, who cares?

You know? If you want to wear track pants, wear track pants. If you want to wear socks and Birkenstocks in a workplace, why not? That's not happening over there, is it? Yeah, it is. My friend. And painting Birks. Painting Birks and, like, white socks that once were white but are now very grey.

Yeah. And that's just what I did today. And it made me, because, you know what? Because I felt comfortable. That's good. Yeah. And I didn't even put on a proper bra, you'll be mad to know.

Just a stretchy piece of fabric. Couldn't be bothered. This one day of the year, I celebrate that. You're ready undies are welcome today. Morgan, you should see the size of my undies today. Now, Morgan Penn, thank you so much for coming in.

Don't forget season two of Sex.Life is out. There was a new episode on Wednesday. Yeah. What was Wednesday's? Well, you ditched the cowboy. I listened. Went to the club. You went to the club.

Oh, yeah. Vorni, what did you think? You had thoughts and feelings. It certainly wouldn't be for me. Do you wear sockets when you're pleasuring? No, no. I always take my socks off. Socks off? Yeah, I'm always socks off.

I completely agree. There's no socks. I would like to say on International Women's Day, on behalf of all women, if you're going to make love to a woman today, please take your socks off. It's really not doing it. It's just not. It's just not cold enough anywhere in this country to require socks. If it's a socket, they need to be gone. Sockets are embarrassing.

You can stream, listen to Sex.Life wherever you podcast. It's all thanks to our friends at Wild Secrets as well. You can use the promo code sex.life for a 20% discount on your next purchase

at wildsecrets.co.nz. Thanks, Morgz. Thank you. Next on the show, Trade Me have released their list of the wild auctions over the last 25 years.

Some of these are so funny. Trade Me has released their iconic Trade Me listings of all time. Oh, because they've turned 25 or something? Yeah. Right, and that's why they've got the 25 weird... Is the dolphin on there? Do you remember when someone tried to sell a dolphin? Yeah, that's on there. The handbag used

by Tana Umanga to hit Chris. I remember that. Like, that went for $26,000. I remember that. Remember the cardboard car? Yes, I remember that. Orlando Bloom's lollipop stick.

The last of the pack and save plastic bags. Yes, that's good stuff. A used cigarette butt went for $7,500 in 2005. The Big Fresh characters. Yeah, the animatronic dancing fruits. An island resort. That was this year for $32 million asking price.

It's such a funny list. The time that Jacinda Ardern and David Seymour signed that thing when they had a barney. That was for sale and they did that to raise money for charity. That fetched $100,000 because it was for a good cause. Ed Sheeran tickets.

I mean, they're just so... Some of these are really, really funny. Some trash from MIQ. A sky towel made from MIQ trash. Scary washing machine that was like haunted. I remember that, yeah. A piece of sandpaper. Like a snapshot of like weird New Zealand news over the last 25 years.

Yes, over the last 25 years there's been a number of phallic-shaped vegetables that have fetched up to $275. Oh, my. David Seymour's twerking outfit, that went for charity as well. Anyway, so funny. Australia was on there. The country.

Someone tried to sell Australia. 2006. Not sold. Not sold. I want to know, in celebration of this iconic list for our iconic Trade Me, what was the weirdest Trade Me purchase you've ever either made or seen?

Because, God, there's some rogue stuff on there. Some absolute wildness. Anything you could imagine, really. Yeah. People just go around their house selling crap. You know, Morgan was just in. I've seen used adult fun toys. For sale on Trade Me.

Yeah, they've had a wash. Oh, no. We're not doing that. Even in one of those steriliser things they use at the hospital. Your soul knows. Your soul knows. Your soul knows. What about if you took it to Michael Hill Jeweller

and you used that thing they use to clean? I don't know. That sort of does it itself, doesn't it? You turn it on, put it in a tub of water. Yeah, put it in there. Even I'd still say no. I don't know. That sort of does it itself, doesn't it? You turn it on, put it in a tub of water. Put it in there. Even I'd still say no. I'd still say no.

It's gross to me. So what you want to hear are some weird purchases people have made. Yeah, the strange purchase you made on Trade Me or maybe you listed something very strange.

Did it sell? Okay, 0800 dials at Emily's, take your calls. You can text her as well, 9696. Your weirdest Trade Me purchase. But first, we are talking about the weird and

wonderful things that you've tried to sell or bought on Trade Me. It's been around 25 years. They've listed their big weird auctions over the years. I love this. I was boozed one night about 20 years ago and bought six metres of used sari silk. At the time, I was a 34

year old man. How did that make... I've got questions. Zach, what did you try and sell? I tried to sell my rubber band ball six years ago. What was just a ball of rubber bands? Not just a ball. It was the largest rubber band ball

in the Southern Hemisphere. Well, who told you it was the largest in the Southern Hemisphere? The award that I got. Oh! I was sponsored by Office Max. I was on quite a few TV... Really?

Oh, that's cute as heck, my dude. Did you... The whole yard, I was 16. What award did you get? Was it a Guinness World Record? No, because it's not the world's biggest. It was only the Southern Hemisphere. Oh, only Southern Hemisphere.

How big is the world and the... How big was your ball and how big was the world's biggest? Mine's 140 kgs and the world's like the size of a baby rhino. So I got the world's biggest? Mine's 140 kgs and the world's like the size of a baby rhino. So I've got a lot of it. What?

Wow. How many rubber bands did you need for that? I think I've rough estimate about 2.9 million rubber bands I've used. Are you still going?

You say I've used. Are you still going on this rubber band ball? No, I'm... You're retired. New hobbies. You're retired. You're retired now, Zach.

Yeah. Probably dealing with all those ladies that lined up. Zach, thank you. Fiona, what did you buy off Trade Me, your weirdest purchase? Yeah, so, look, I used to model when I was a teenager. We've got a hottie on our hands. Okay. A photographer friend of mine rang me and said,

Faye, you've got to buy this. There's a life-size poster on Trade Me, and I think it's you. And so I answered the ad, and it was a picture of me in a hot pink G-string, life-size poster that was for Jennifer Dean's swimwear, and they'd referred to her as Valerie for all of these years and said that she'd seen some super interesting things in their flat. So I answered the ad and turned up on the door

and knocked on the door and just said, Hi, I think I'm Valerie. And these four flatmates peered out in horror. And yeah, so I brought Valerie home and I've still got her in my house today. Now, they would have been like, Valerie? Wait, so. Wasn't you in the pink G-string? Had you modelled in this G-string?

Yeah, yeah, I had, yeah. And look, I don't know where the poster had come from or where it had been all those years, but apparently she lived in their lounge for at least five or six years of their flatting life. Oh my god, Valerie. And it was such a brilliant thing, parties, and it managed to look

very shy and sweet all of those years. Now, Valerie, Zach's just sent us a link to when he was on breakfast with his giant ball. So just out of interest. On International Women's Day.

On International Women's Day. Could you send Vaughan a picture of the whole show? Let's not say it's just for Vaughan, but I'm just saying, could we see a picture of Valerie? Good for you, Fiona. Good for you. It. Good for you.

It made it into stuff. You could Google it. Oh, there you go. Okay, there you go. Yeah. What keywords would one use? Fiona, life size. I don't know.

Valerie, I don't know, trade me. Okay, all right. Vaughan's furiously Googling now, Fiona. Thank you. We'll leave it there. Go, chap. 0800 Donald's at M is the number. You can keep your texts coming in, 9696.

Your weird Trade Me sales or purchases. We're talking about the weirdest Trade Me purchases. They've released a list of the weirdest things over time. Somebody's just sent me a link to a Trade Me account saying this one's still active. You two can buy a $3 ball of alpaca wool so you can go and pick it up from Glorival and they'll give you a tour while you're there. The best three languages I've ever spoken.

Oh, I've got to have a tour. Buy now, buy now. It's moved into problematic for me. It's moved out of funny and into problematic now. Unless you're going to help some of them escape. But the voyeur in me is like, yeah, I'd pop a few in my suitcase. Glorival Underground Raleigh.

There's actually quite a few people that have messaged in about listing their siblings. Your, like, annoying sibling for sale. And someone mentioned that they sold the opportunity to cut off their ponytail. I was like, what the hell? But they were shaving their head for charity and thought someone might, like, want to, like, live out of the joy of cutting off a ponytail. And they got $200 for it. $200? That's pretty good.

I thought that was pretty good. In studio, you will know we have our very own maths bell. Give it a ring. Every time we talk about maths, we ring the bell because I love the show so much. And you know I've been talking about it quite a lot this season. And I'm actually like literally so beside myself that we've got Lucinda in our studio.

Kia ora, Lucinda. Kia ora. It is so amazing to have you here. It is so amazing to be here, gorgeous soul. Oh my God, Lucinda. I knew that you had a voice for radio. Like you just have the most fantastic voice. Well, thank you.

It's so dulcet. Did you train? You know, with a theatrical arts background. Right. Travelling the world and, you know, a pretty extravagant, outrageous, eccentric father. Yes, indeed. Who we've met now.

It's a culmination of things that has resulted in this, I suppose. Well, I just, for me, I've watched like every season. I love it. We actually talked to John Aitken. Yeah, love John. He's so brilliant. He's awesome. I just think he's amazing.

Cuts right through. He's calling it out. That's what I said to him. I love the last few seasons in particular. Calls it out. Sharp. But I'm literally lost because I'm so excited that you're here. I just love that you're such a breath of fresh air on the show.

I think that some people that don't watch it have an idea perhaps of who goes on maps. And we're thinking, you know, big tits, cheeks, lips. I'm on there representing the wild woman. There's no work here. You are a wild woman. Like, you're just so free-spirited and you've been matched with someone who

is a brick wall, really. I can't see, you know, because you know how things go with you and Timothy, but he has some trauma and he's a really broken dude and he has some pain in his life. Love Tim Bowen.

I know, so do I. He's hot too. He's an absolute hunk of spunk. He is so handsome. Hunk of spunk. I have not heard hunk of spunk for a long time. It's a camping term. Because this year's got one of the oldest couples.

How old's... Andrew and Dickie? Yeah. Richard. Richard. Dickie, I named him Dickie. But D is 62. Yes.

And Andrew, who's one of my absolute favourites, she's 51. Yeah. Okay. And then there's all the, you know, who you would imagine goes on maps. And I mean, you guys are in your 40s, right? Yeah. Well, Tim's 51. Yeah.

I'm 44 in July. And when they were like, oh, there's a guy coming in his 50s. I was like, I like an older man. And then Tim came in. I was like, that's, the eyes? Silver fox. They just go through you. They do.

What did you think when you first, like, saw that man at the end? I was just like, hubba, hubba. Hello, tiger. There he is. I was just like, hubba, hubba. Hello, tiger. There he is. I was just like, oh, yeah. I was really into Tim the moment I saw him. And then, like, these guys need a quick catch up

because they've had a difficult journey. Tim's a hard Aussie bloke, isn't he? And he's had a lot of sadness in his life and he's been partnered with this sort of wild woman, majestic tantric queen. What was it like sort of realising that he was this tough biscuit?

It was a beautiful challenge, you know. Because a lot of people would have just left. Yeah, you know, for me, he is worth it. You know, he's such a gorgeous soul and yeah, there's a lot of layers there with Tim, but what I really loved about Tim mostly is his sense of humour. He's hilarious. He's

authentically who he is. Vaughan's very similar energy. Not that you're a tough, tough nut to crack, but good sense of humour, farm boy. Yeah, oh, okay, right. Yeah. That's a good lad then.

Yeah, you'd like him. He's a central Queensland farm boy. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And then you've taken the challenge in your stride, haven't you? Yeah. I mean, you know, there's been lots to learn in that, in the unravelling. And it's a big fat crush, really.

So, you know, worth it. Yeah. But, yeah, totally poles apart. And I suppose that's the Jekyll and Hyde comedy in it as well. Yeah, totally. And what is it like for you with these other relationships around you? Because, God, there's drama this season. Like there's so much drama.

I mean, I don't know if I can get into specifics and how much you can actually say but like, Jack is a character. Let's say Jack's a character on Maps. He plays the villain well, doesn't he? He plays the villain well. There's always one. Last season it was Harrison. You know, the season before, there's always one. Do you find yourself biting your tongue and being like

well, I'm here for Tim? Look, I was mostly focused on my own relationship and the lovely friendships. But, I mean, I'd pipe in. I'd told Jack off a couple of times and, you know, made it known that I was very disappointed in his behaviour. This is the muzzle your woman, gentlemen.

That comment's gone kind of viral. And it is a bit of a shit stack, Jack, upon shit stack. Like every week there's something Jackie boy. Yeah. So, you know, it was, you would get involved and pipe in as a collective. We'd all sort of tick each other off at different times. Totally. And what has been for you the funnest part of this journey?

Obviously you can't say how things end up with you and Timothy, but what has been the most fun? I loved the retreat, and you guys have got that to look forward to, but it's a real hoot, and there's a moment where we all get together in circle and sort of have a bit of a yoga acknowledgement to country, and I'm actually running up, and we're sort of all doing a bit of exercises. But it's just very funny.

It's a hilarious scene. Anything you do is fun and funny and great. And I honestly, again, you can't tell us too much, but I really wish you luck. Both of you, whether you're together or not, don't look at me. I'm so excited. She wants to know, but not really. I want to know, but not really.

You can watch Mass. We're a week behind Australia, but we're on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and then Sundays, the dinner party. We're all stuck in the maths trap. We're in the maths trap, and I am more than happy to be there. Lucinda, thank you so much for joining us.

Thanks so much for having me. We had a big day yesterday as a team. We did our show and then we went to this corporate thing and then about four o'clock we were getting in our cars to head home. Got home, I think about... I reckon for the first time ever... Oh, my God, yeah. Leaving work, I bet Hayley home.

He chose the right lane. I was in the fast lane and then I see Vaughn just, I didn't see him again. I lane hopped. Yeah. Like a little chimney. I was probably in bed last night. What time did you send this voice message that I'm about to play?

Oh, no. Have we done some bleeping on it? Seven just up. Seven thirty I got into bed. Yep. Because I think I was in bed when I listened to this. Well, I was inspired by you and I thought, I really need to start giving myself more early nights.

And I felt tired and I was like, this is perfect. Aaron was working on the house. I'm going to jump into bed. Get into bed. I've got my smutty book ready to go. You've done your pre-bed. I did full bio-oil on the body. Yep.

Eight-step skin routine on the face. Well, actually, I've got the whole voice note here that tells the entire story. With bleeped swear words. Ladies and gentlemen. Do you want to know something really awful? Got home five o'clock-ish. Got changed. Went inside.

Seven thirty. I was like I'm so tired. I'm going to go to bed. Skin care. Whole thing. Moisturise. Bio oil on the stretch marks. Always bio oil on the stretch marks.

She's in her PJs, she's in bed. 7.30 in bed. I'm going to have a great sleep. Get a text from Tony Lyle, comedian. Hey, Courtney's running late. If you're not far off, are you happy to go on first? I've got a stand-up comedy gig that has been heavily publicised

with Di Henwood and Courtney Dawson tonight at Little Clips Brew. And I'm on! And I'm in my car! And I'm gone! Oh. And I'm gone. Oh, God, I didn't swear good for me. We cut out the swears. There was a lot of swears.

So I literally got this message. And I, in my calendar for the 14th of March, have a gig at Little Creep's Brewery in Hobsonville. And I was like really looking forward to it. Get this text from Tiny. It was last night. And I was in bed. I was like really looking forward to it. This text from Tiny. It was last night and I was in bed. I was nude, done, hair in a bonnet, bed. Oh, because you wear that weird silk bonnet.

Silk bonnet to protect my hair. It was such a panic and it wasn't the kind of gig, it wasn't a casual gig with like a big line up where you might go, hell, tap out and someone can do an extra couple of minutes. Four people. Yeah. The MC, me and Courtney and Dye Head an extra couple of minutes for people. Yeah. The MC,

me and Courtney and die headlining. And people would come to see you. People had come specifically to see me. It was a big event. Like there's over a hundred people there. You were like minutes away from sleeping. You would have missed and you would have turned your phone on silent and missed the whole thing. Smart audio book in the ears.

I would have been dozing off. Yeah. Oh my God. And I had that moment where I went, and the message, you should see the Smart audio book in the ears. I would have been dozing off. Yeah. Oh my God. And I had that moment where I went, and the message, you should see the message I sent to the group.

The best part was the minute you sent that voice note, I was like, that will be the gig that we talked about earlier in the week because somebody posted

on our international podcast family. Courtney said, my two-year-old's making a change to your lineup. And she was at the place where the comedy show was going to happen and she was covering up everybody else's faces but not yours. Yeah. This two-year-up. And she was at the place where the comedy show was going to happen

and she was covering up everybody else's faces but not yours. This two-year-old. And I said, oh, when's that? And you said, this week. Well, that would have been nice to share with me. You said it. Well, so you were told about the date change. But then I didn't know when this week.

No. Honestly. Yeah, I know. And there's a message stream from the organiser saying, gig on the 14th. Actually, it's been moved to the 7th, is that okay? I said yes and I hadn't changed my calendar I like got in my car and thankfully I live 20 minutes away from Hobsonville

which is close to nowhere else in Auckland other than where I live so I said I'll get on, Courtney was running late, she's arrived, don't worry and you go, I got in there and I will say, driving, makeup going on because I was red from like gua-sha-ing the jawline. I was doing all this, did my makeup in the car,

got in there, get in there, and I didn't drink all day yesterday at this event with free booze. Yeah, all week. I went in there, glass of wine, give that to me, down it goes. Please welcome to the stage, Hayley Sproul. I run on i'm doing my doing my stand-up which by the way hadn't organized my 15 minutes so i was like i'll just start see what comes out okay and then i went oh hang on a second retainers still in

you were on stage and got your retainer out i literally was like oh sorry guys i forgot about this gig and i was in bed anyway and I just kept on going with the gig. Thank you for those that did come because there were a few ZM fans that were there specifically to see me because they love our show. And if you're buying tickets for Hayley's New Zealand Comedy Festival shows in Auckland and Wellington, will you be turning up

to those on time? I believe I, they're in May and I will check the dates for those so I come somewhat more prepared with an hour of solid, organised comedy. Tickets on sale now. Where do you get tickets? Comedyfestival.co.nz. That's right.

Hayley may or may not be sleeping. No, I will be there. You'll be there. This is the comedian's equivalent of being like on call. You know, you've always had a mate who at the weekend, they're like, can't drink this weekend, guys, I'm on call, but I'll hang out. Yeah, on call comedians. I was an on call comedian yesterday, except I was rostered.

Hey, we've got an emergency. We need some giggles down here. Like Vector, we've got some power lines down here. And so they get some on-call. Fault reported. Comedian en route. I'm in the car.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Don't you tap your watch at me on International Women's Day. I was tapping it at you, not Hayley. Happy International Women's Day to those that celebrate. Thank you. I choose to celebrate. To those that celebrate is my favourite thing I choose to celebrate. We have been.

To those that celebrate is my favourite thing after anything. It's the best. It's like someone said something joyous and then immediately been like, what if I get cancelled? To those that celebrate. Only to those that celebrate, of course. I'm not forcing my Christian holidays on you. Vaughan, happy Arbor Day.

To those that celebrate. Trees. I'm not. Big tick in my book. For everybody. Give or take trees. I love not. Big tick in my book. For everybody. Give or take trees. Yeah, I love trees. Happy Anzac Day to those that respect what the soldiers did for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And if you don't, that's your choice. Yeah. You're a monster. Today's fact of the day. The theme this week has been things that were named after where they were invented. And today is the Woman's Day edition. Woman's Day. Great day.

Women's Day. National Woman's Day edition. The Woman's Day magazine. I've got a few. I'm going to scattershot them at you. Okay, go. The's Day. Great. Women's Day. National Women's Day edition. The Women's Day magazine. I've got a few. I'm going to scattershot them at you. Okay. Go. The Bikini.

Okay. Named after the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands. Really? Yep. It was ruined with nuclear testing, but that was a slim sort of choice before. I feel like we're friends with the French and we've forgiven them so quickly. Yeah, we have. Way too quickly.

Rainbow Warrior. Nuclear testing. Yeah. Rolling over in World War II. We French and we've forgiven them so quickly. Yeah, we have. Way too quickly. Rainbow Warrior. Nuclear testing. Rolling over in World War II. We forgive, we don't forget. Yeah. Baguettes. Way too hard. Oh, too hard.

Way too hard to bite through. Too hard. Don't get me wrong. You won me over a little bit with the croissant. That's a soft, delicious, stowy fried bread. But the baguette, too hard. You can lose a front tooth ripping apart a baguette. Yeah. Number two. The bungalow front tooth ripping apart a baguette. Yeah.

Number two, the bungalow. Oh, okay. Like the beach types. I have not met a man that is like, I'd love to own a bungalow one day. I've never met a man. We love bungalows. Women love bungalows. 1950s, 1960s. So that's why I put it on the list of things.

Wait, I was thinking of a beach bungalow. No, no, you're thinking bungalows like Sandringham, like you're not villa. Next after villa is a bungalow. No, that's beach bungalow. No, no, you're thinking bungalows like Sandringham, like you're not villa. Next after villa is a bungalow. No, that's a bungalow. It's named after Bengal in India. Oh. Oh, like Bangalore Polo Club. Right.

Yeah, Polo Club. That was a bar, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. So the bungalow has got the same name origin. Okay, bungalow. Camembert cheese. Camembert. Yeah, Camembert cheese.

Wait, what's this have to do with International Women's Day? Women love cheese. I've never seen... Tell me he's wrong. Tell me he's wrong. I thought you were doing female inventors. No, no. No, things that females like that were invented and named after where they were invented.

So far, love a bikini. Love a bungalow. Yeah. Love a bit of Camembert. Love a bit of Camembert cheese. And you love atomic testing and nuclear attacks. Yeah. She was anti-atomic. Okay.embert cheese. Love a bit of camembert cheese. And you love atomic testing in nuclear tanks. Yeah. She was anti-atomic.

Okay. Women love cheese. Fact. Even the ones that are lactose intolerant will roll the dice on a cheese board. I'm going to just pop one of those lactese pills. And that's named after camembert in the Orne region of France. Okay. Next one, champagne.

Oh, you love that. Of course. Of course. Named after the Champagne region of France. Otherwise, it's just sparkling wine. Jerseys. Women love jerseys. We love jerseys.

They love stealing our jerseys. We love boyfriend jerseys. We love stealing our jerseys. Of course, named after Jersey in America. Yeah, Cal. New Jersey. New Jersey. Jersey.

Oh, wait, not New Jersey. Should we get New Jersey? Jersey the Island. Jersey the Island in Oh, wait, not New Jersey. Should we get New Jersey the Island? Oh, because we're so... Jersey the Island and the Channel Islands, I do believe. Because it was so cold, they needed more than a T-shirt? Yes. And then they made a jumper in their life. What should we call this?

But a T-shirt jumper. Yeah. Made of heavier material. Okay. Limousine. The limousine is named after limousine in France. Women love limousines. And we love France.

Yeah. Men love homazines, don't they, Fletch? Yes, that's the male version. Well, not me, but we've got a friend that certainly does. And you certainly hung out the top and said, woo-hoo, look at me, I'm a princess. Yeah, he did. Woo-hoo, take a photo, take a photo.

That's what he said. And finally, magenta. The colour magenta named after magenta in Northern Italy. I'm wearing a pink shirt today. Women love magenta. Yeah. That's undeniable. So there's a scattershot of things that were named after where they were invented.

Thank you. Especially for women on International Women's Day. Happy International Women's Day. If you celebrate. To those that celebrate. You celebrate. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM. I was going to share a story about, you know, liking pictures online when you're in a relationship. Stuff that.

We need to discuss the birthdates of our pets. Well, I was just saying that Major Murray Fluffington, his birthday's on the 13th of March. It's only days away. But do you know that to be the date? Yeah, because he got it from a breeder. And if someone knows their cat's birthday for sure, it means they got it from a breeder. Otherwise, you have a gotcha day or an adoption day for your cat. I don't know how we...

We chose ours. I don't... You can't choose your cat's birthday. No, we have an adoption day, but we don't celebrate his birthday on that day. That was 10 weeks. We just went 10 weeks back from adoption day because we got him at 10 weeks,

but it would have been... And we'd do that as the birthday. That's what we do with our cats. Yeah. That's the worst. Cats that we, again, rescued. Yeah, well, and I don't know... All three of our cats have had one dead, and I don't want to talk about it. No, of course not. But the other two are alive our cats. Yeah. Our cats that we, again, rescued. All three of our cats have had one death,

and I don't want to talk about it. No, of course not. But the other two are alive and well. Yeah. Their birthdays are just a couple of months before their adoption day. How many times do I have to say this to both of you, but I rescued that cat from the evil breeder. I paid about $1,000 for it.

Yeah, it's like a hostage. It's like a hostage release. You don't know negotiate with terrorists. Yeah, I know, but I just had to because this cat was so cute. And then I gave her the money and she gave me the cat. So you're annoyed. That's rescuing. You're annoyed that Vaughn has chosen the birth date of his rescue dog.

But we didn't choose Richie's birthday. The day before my cat's birthday. He does this. He had a kid as well right before my birthday. He steals my thunder all the time. We know this is Richie's birthday for facts. Do you? The people who originally had Richie got him from a breeder.

So you've got to bet. Oh, my God. We can't handle this dog. Yeah, right. And the people of Chain dog rehab. Great people. Yeah. Fundraising at the moment because the animals

don't stop coming and neither do the bills. Yeah. Help them out if you can. Great people. So yours is, you've got a breeder dog. I've got a breeder dog

that we rescued from the people who bought from a breeder who then were just like, this dog is too much for us. And the dog is not too much. You've met him. He's a little greedy

when it comes to food. He's a bit much. But he's a very good boy. You've met him. He's a little greedy when it comes to food. He's a bit much. But he's a very good boy. He's like me. He gets excited when he sees food, especially meat or cheese. He gets a little bit wagging in the bum. He gets a little excited.

And I said, this is his birthday as a fact. I had my cat first. And now you've chosen the day right the day before my cat's birthday. Richie was born seven years ago next Tuesday. Now, I had nothing to do with that. And so yours is Major Murray is next Wednesday. Yeah, the 13th.

Right. Well, you're going to have to choose. One of you is going to have to choose. I mean, we should just be happy that they're both Pisces. It's a wonderful star sign. Who got theirs last? Richie came last. Richie came last, but Richie was born first.

Yeah, but you shouldn't have. If you'd asked the birthday and no one was the day before. This beautiful golden retriever that we fell in love with the minute we saw him. We can't have him because his birthday is too close to Fletcher's cat's birthday. Fletcher's stupid, expensive pedigree cat. Excuse me? I love him so much. I love him.

Your cat pulls back from my pets. Yeah, it doesn't like you. Oh, my God. Why does he pull back from my pets? I'm on board with you because you rescued a dog, Vaughn, but yesterday you were in the shower. Yep. We're in your lounge, me and Vaughn.

We're getting ready. Don't tell him this. Don't tell him this. What did you do? What did you do to my cat? What did you do? I don't know. I might be abandoning you, Vaughn.

What did you do? What did you do to my cat? Major Murray starts scratching your couch. Vaughn! Vaughn goes up to him and gives him a slight swipe. Vaughn! And then he says, there needs to be more of that in this house. I smacked somebody else's cat.

You can't smack my cat. I threw my socks at him and he looked at me just like, what are you doing, sir? And then he went to put a paw back up and I went, don't. And I whacked his hand away. And I said, there needs to be more discipline in this house. He disciplined your child. Your couch, every time I go into your house, is more and more,

and I'll use the word, rooted. Oh, yeah, there's nothing I can do about it. The couch is just, I'm just like, of all my friends Oh, yeah, there's nothing I can do about it. The couch is just... I'm just like... Well, you can't. Of all my friends, it's my favourite couch because you just sink into it. It's a great couch.

It's a bachelor's couch. Yeah. And this cat has ruined it. Ruined it. So I can't tell him. You disciplined your child. You can't tell him. I disciplined your child.

I'm sorry, Vaughan. I'm sorry. I was going to bring it up. I need to decide which one of your kids I'm allowed to smack now. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Just before we leave, we have some breaking news. Oh.

Oh. After how long? 22 years. 22 years. 22 years. Kelly Rowland has finally addressed the fact that she texts Nelly in an Excel spreadsheet in the Dilemma video. On a Blackberry? On a Blackberry. Wasn't it a new Nokia?

It was one of these. It was absolute product placement. Yeah, it wasn't Blackberry. In the early days of product placement. Now, she was doing an interview with a, I think it was a podcast maybe called Mythical Kitchen. It's a Nokia.

It was a Nokia. Yeah, yeah. Because Blackberry's never slid open like that. Vaughan, don't be foolish. That was their whole vibe. Now, they brought it up in this video.

In the podcast. In the podcast about the 22-year-old video saying, now, Kelly, let's talk about the text you sent to Nelly in an Excel spreadsheet

on your phone. She says, do you know how much flack I get from that? She said, I'm so used to it now. And then they asked, was there anyone on set who said now hang on, why is she texting Nelly via Excel spreadsheet?

And she said, I'm actually so mad at them because they didn't do that and they made me look nuts. No one said anything to her on set. And then she makes fun of the fact that in the video, she says it makes no sense in the video's narrative in which her character grows frustrated that Nellie doesn't immediately respond to her text. She says, what did you expect, hon? It's just a draft, my dear.

After all these years, she's finally all these years She's finally addressed her Basically saying They handed me a phone They shot it over my shoulder I did what I was told I did what I was told Did she not look at it And think guys

This is stupid No Look there's a lot going on Kelly's Nelly's got a sticker On his face Do you think it would've been A bit easier

If they'd scrolled down So that the message Was in the middle And cause you know The top had A The column A B C A1 1 2 the message was in the middle and because, you know, the top had A, the column A, B, C, A1,

1, 2, 3, she was in A1. Do you think, do you think if they'd gone down and it was just like lines? Also, there could have been a, could that possibly have been

a shared spreadsheet at the time? We didn't do shared spreadsheets 22 years ago. You couldn't just send an Excel. No.

Really? No. No. She was trying to get around those 20 cents that would have cost to send a text back in the day. Exactly. Yeah. Really, really? No. No. She was trying to get around those 20 cents that would have cost her to send a text back in the day.

Exactly. Yeah. Friday Jams next with Georgia. Have a great weekend. Yeah. Also, big shout out to Marching New Zealand.

All the teams that are competing at Nationals kicks off today with qualifying marches and then the champs and everything tomorrow. Particularly at Claude Lins and Hamilton.

Go along and watch if you're in the area. It's an amazing sport. Big weekend. Pink concerts kick off tonight in Auckland. The Zed Man if you're in the area. It's an amazing sport. Big weekend. Pink concerts. Our kickoff tonight in Auckland. The Zed Manu World Champs.

All go. The QMU show's on this weekend if you're in Auckland and you want a taste of the country. Are we entering a cake? Saturday and Sunday. Shall I go to New World

and get us a cake? We can't enter a New World cake. Don't tell them we're in a cake. Do that. I was going to take one of those three foot by three foot Costco sponges

and be like just something I whipped up. We'll do something. FVH, we'll do something. Love that. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You know what?

I reckon your script reading is getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars. Just like I'd give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast. Thank you, my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast.

Thank you Vaughan and Hayley for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.