ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 8th May 2024

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Doctors are Worried...  Top 6: Te Huia  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan's Washing Machine  What's Ya Jobby??  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. A chilly start. Was chilly, I loved it.

Me and Vaughan have decided we're ready for the cool. Yeah, cold. It's currently two degrees in Hamilton at the moment, six in Auckland. Wellington's four, Christchurch minus two. The coldest place in the country, Oumarama, minus four. Always in the top five coldest places, or in the summer, hottest places.

Yippee. It's extreme. It's because it's so far away from the ocean. Our great temperature regulator. Yeah. Thank you for that. You are most ocean. Our great temperature regulator. Yeah. Thank you for that. You are most welcome. Vaughan service.

Wow. It's like the Met service. Little tips and hits and such. I like it. Great place to fly a glider. I was going to say it's a great place to fly a glider. Beautiful place for a bit of the Omarama stone. Yeah.

It's gorgeous. It's a beautiful type of limestone, isn't it? Yeah. Gorgeous. Place to run a high country station. Yeah. On the show today, it's a return of What's Your Jobby. That's back today because we loved playing that last week.

What's Your Jobby. Where we ask you questions about your job, but you're not allowed to say what you do, and then we have to guess it. Yeah. And you can win some cash. We'll play at 8 o'clock this morning. Primetime feature.

We've actually shoved it right in primetime. Yeah. We're giving it its due, really. Who's big? Long hair. Long. Well, don't look at us. We don't have any.

Who's here? Well, that's too thick and dark for me. Unless it's Vaughan's beardy cube. I've got a beard here, but it's not that long and that's fast. Long. Well, don't look at us. We don't have any. Well, that's too thick and dark for me. Unless it's Vaughan's beardy cube. I've got a beard here, but it's not that long and that's fine. No. It's got Brie Thomasale written all over it. I'll give that back to her. The top six soon.

Yeah. The Tahuia is a train service between Auckland and Hamilton that many poo-pooed. Had a record month last year. Did it? Is this tide turning in favour of trains? Could be. You know I love a train. I love a train.

You know, I want them to go faster. You're talking bullet trains? Yeah, I want a bullet train. Yeah, okay. With Brad Pitt on it. Yes. You know, everyone's fighting. Everyone's fighting.

There's a bomb on board. Aaron Taylor-Johnson's there. This is a good looking fellow. Same. No, well, it's not that. but I've got the top six other things that it also achieved last month in its record haulage of passenger month.

You're going out of breath. I was like, just grab one, just take one. Three separate occasions in that sentence I ran out of breath. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. So today is the 8th of May in New Zealand Yesterday in America marked The 20th

Anniversary of the finale Of Friends So just let that sink in Friends ended 20 years ago I think you've added a 2 In front of that instead of a 1 No, 20 years ago. So. After 10

seasons. It was only 10. Yeah. 10 seasons. Because it was 94 to 2004. Crazy, eh? Because you sort of think that it. Oh, I mean 10 seasons is good actually. That's a lot of seasons. But because how many eps were there all up of friends? Uh. Well, 24 a season, 10 seasons. I'd say

they'd be in the vicinity of 240 that's a guess smart boy actually he's good at maths isn't he brands episodes how many surely the first one

had less right excuse me 236 236 you said 240 so you're well off there what a loser well off

what a loser dumb dumb loser what a moron it's so wild because I was I would have been 14 I guess then and What a loser. Well off. Dumb, dumb loser. Yeah, moron. It's so wild because I would have been 14, I guess then. Me too. 13, 13. Yeah, yeah, we all say, how old were we when this happened?

But I remember it. Like, I remember watching the last one and I cried when they came out at the end. It's the show we just keep watching. And people still watching it. It's still one of the biggest streamed shows. Yeah. And then Matthew Perry got the last line. Remember that whole thing he wanted it? Yeah, he did. Yeah. What was the last

line? They said, should we go get coffee? And he said, sure. Know anywhere? That was the end of it. And that was it? Yeah. 20 years ago 20 years Yeah So It started in 94

Which was 10 years before So 10 years before that 20 years Because I like to always do a pivotal point Of a moment So if 2004's your pivotal point And it

Went to And now we're in 2024 20 years before that 1984 Yeah Why do you do this to yourself? Why are you doing that? I don't know.

I also just realised when it came out, I would have been four. So I've always kind of been watching it on catch up. Yeah. How would I have done that? I suppose they used to play reruns, eh, on TV. Oh, all the time. Did they? Did they?

I think once upon a time, maybe once or twice. They wouldn't do it now though, would they? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Because there's all this new content. No. Why would they be doing that? Yeah.

11 past six. Next, doctors are apparently quite worried because there is the part of the human body that is getting bigger and they're like, it may seem good now, but it's not. Yeah, we've got a doctor friend. Has he warned us about this? I don't believe he has. I think he's the one, because it's not. Yeah, we've got a doctor friend. Has he warned us about this? I don't believe he has. I think he's the one, because it's nine out of ten doctors are worried.

I think he's the one doctor that's all for it. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Guys, there is great concern in the medical world. Okay. This is actually massive. This is from Stanford University. It's one of the big ones.

It is one of the biggies. Stanford University. Is that Ivy League? Oh, yeah. I'd say so. It's one of the big ones. It is one of the biggies. Stanford University. Is that Ivy League? Oh, yeah. I'd say so. It's up there. Oh, it's up there. Stanford University via Ladbible.

Well, the study made its way onto the trash heap of the internet. That is Ladbible, which we love. Now, they are very concerned. Doctors around the world are very concerned. Doctors around the world are very concerned. They took 75 different studies between 1942 and 2021 that look at penis size. Okay. The size of a wang, a schlong, a doodle. A doodle.

And as part of it, within these studies between 1942 and 2021, the lengths of 55,761 willies had been documented. Right. As part of these various 75 studies. Right, they had to look at all of them. They were forced to observe nearly 60,000 willies. Would you like this as a job? Would you like that as a job? Would you like that as a job?

Or do you reckon you'd get over it? Don't do anything you really enjoy as a job. They say get a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life. But I reckon get a job you love and soon you'll hate that as well. And I also don't, I can't say I'm like that. Put that on a horse. Put that on a horse. Get that up.

Summarise it again because it wasn't really clear. Get a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life. But I say get a job you love and you're just going to end up hating the thing that you once enjoyed. Beautiful words from you, Vaughan. Stunning. Chuck that on a horse. Chuck that on a horse. So what they found by collating all of this data was that penises are getting significantly

bigger. It's the hormones isn't it? Well so they condensed it to look between 1992 to 2021 now we've all been around for that for that amount of time. It's the soy milk it's the great nutrition, it's the Monsanto chemicals. No it's not the

hormones that forced me to take to drink soy milk for a couple of years so I got boobies. It's not that. It's not that. So they said that the average pain at full mast increased by 25% between 1992 and 2021. 25% bigger. So nearly in a whole season of Friends, the world's penis is a whole big series. In a whole series of Friends,

the average willy has grown 1.2 inches in erectus size. Well done. And now they're like, everyone's celebrating, being like, yeah, baby, we're getting bigger. Yeah. Doctors are like, no,

this is any kind of dramatic change like this that happens so quickly, be it bigger, smaller, or whatever, is cause for concern. Would this be an evolutionary change? No, it's chemical exposure. Pesticides, hygiene products, things that interact with our hormonal systems. Okay. Are we also celebrating a vagina? Pesticides, hygiene products, things that interact with our hormonal systems.

Okay. Are we also celebrating a vagina? This is what I was going to ask. A bigger vagina. A vagina's getting bigger? Longer, like the canal. Well, I'm just saying if the penis is getting bigger. Well, that's why I asked if it was like an evolutionary thing, like we're all adapting.

We're all getting bigger. Well, I guess eventually because they were like, they studied this very hard because obviously the reproductive system is one of the most important pieces of human evolution. Great bit of kit. And it's fun. Great bit of kit. You know what I mean?

Practical, fun. It wouldn't be my first bit that I'd get rid of. It'd be there with the last. But I don't know. Leave me with one arm and I reckon I'm good. One arm and the kit. One arm. I don't know. Leave me with one arm and I reckon I'm good. One arm and the kit. One arm. I don't have any legs.

Nah. As long as I can perch up. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Watch a little something. Perch up. Leave the eyes.

At least one. Leave the eyes. At least one. Leave at least one ear. Yeah. You know, if we're slow to get rid of things. What's so you can hear

if somebody's coming? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Get rid of a kidney. I need both ears. One for the headphone, one for the listening. Yeah. Okay.

No, I don't have a fanny study, but, you know, stay tuned. I'll hunt for one. Because it is everybody's like, yeah, great. But no, what if it's not? Well, it's not, yeah. If it's not happening naturally and it's happening because of pesticides and chemicals in our environments and our foods, probably not good. Are we on the bloody trajectory to be rocking around with a dog roll?

That sounds horrible. In like 50 years. We'll be back to crawling because we have a fifth member. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. And shoes will need to come in threes. Left, right and middle. Yeah, left, right and the middle.

Yeah. That sounds horrible. It's going to be hard to do a cycle class. Oh, my God. Where are you going to put it? They'll have to change the bikes. They'll have to have something, you know, like a drink holder. Yeah.

Like one of those kid seats That you put in the Middle bar The kid can ride in the middle You turn that around And pull it back for the Yeah Like the seat has Like a full channel

Yeah And it'll need It's own helmet And it will Oh yeah You don't want to knock her In case you fall off Yeah

Yeah Well that's a 100 year away problem Not our problem Not our problem It could be the problem For our children Play

ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Oh, you are out of control. Just let me take out that lozenge. That's yuck. No, I'm helping it. Oh! Five seconds. F you. It's on the desk. You're so grim. I'm not wasting a good lozenge.

Now. Ahem. Ahem. I would like to apologise to the dear listeners Who had to listen to that mess I would like to leave the studio This is what happens when you're dangerously low on sick days kids You gotta drag your arse in regardless

Get a scarf Cover it in albis oil Go like this I can smell it it's quite nice The pandemic not teaches anything Nah Okay I will gift you a sick day of soil go like this? I can smell it. It's quite nice. Does the pandemic not teach us anything? Nah. Okay. I will gift you a sick day. I've got all

mine. I'll grow. I'll take a couple of reviews of you. I've never used my sick days. I never used to. I never used to. You know why, kids? They make you sick. They do. They do. And last night, even with this sickness, I had to go and stand fieldside for hockey, but I do love a bit of hockey.

You do. He's a hockey boy. I don't want to brag, but my daughter scored two goals last night, including the opening goal of the season. Were they playing like a blind school? No. That's what my dad would have said. Yeah, yeah.

What was that? A team blind. I'd get home and be like, mum, dad, we won cricket. You just couldn't say that. And they'd be like these days. No, you couldn't say that. And then they'd literally say, were you playing the blind school? And I was like, well, I guess you –

No? Yeah. Well, if you'd come and watch, you would have seen. Not like them. They couldn't see anything. Dad, you can't say that. So it's getting to that season where – and I don't know why we do sports, like evening sports and early morning weekend sports when it's so bloody cold.

Yeah, horrendous. But we do. Again, don't have kids, eh? I'm lucky enough that I've got weeknights to go and watch sport. I actually really like going along, but weekends, Saturday morning netball, always a bit dusty. Again, if I was a parent, I'd be like,

you don't need to play netball. Always a little bit dusty. I really petitioned to play for a club this year because clubs do weeknights. And not weekends. The school teams do weekends. Right. So let's play a club and get this boat all out of the way on some weeknights and then have our weekends free. Good idea.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Well, getting your kids to them is not easy for everybody. And maybe it's just purely coincidental that Uber Teen has arrived in New Zealand. This is where Uber will come and pick up your teens and you can just send them away with someone you've never met before who doesn't look anything like the ID. This is mum and dad taxi. This is Uber is encroaching on mum and dad taxi.

Mum and dad taxi was the best. So you might be thinking, what's the difference between just like ordering an Uber and chucking your kid in it and Uber teen? Have they run a background check on the driver? There's pin verification. So every teen will like make sure they're getting into the right car by saying the pin,

which I think you kind of have to do anyway. You used to be there on Ola. You used to be in a lot of like South American countries. You have to give the pin to which I think you kind of have to do anyway. You used to be there on Ola. You stay in a lot of South American countries, you have to give the pin to get in. Ride check. We'll contact the teen and driver. You can contact the teen and driver to make sure everything's okay. You can call the driver at any time as the parent.

Oh, right. And talk to them. That wouldn't be annoying at all, would it? No. All the drivers that can do Uber Teen, they need to be highly rated and experienced drivers to be allowed to pick up a teen. Right. Yeah. We just called this Hayley Swan's dad.

Yeah, exactly. Like when we, especially when we were like later teenagers and you'd be in town at like gigs and whatnot, and then my parents and my other friend Hayley's parents would like tag and be like, well, Craig will come and get the Hayleys. Oh, that's nice. And we'll drop her to the hut and take Hayley's parents would like tag and be like, well, Craig will come and get the Hayleys. Oh, that's nice. And we'll drop her to the hut and take Hayley home. They were going to the, you were expected to go to the hut to drop off Hayley.

Yeah, but I left, so, and when Hayley's dad would come and get us, other Hayley's dad, he'd drop me all the way to Eastbourne, which is like the tail end of Wellington, and then go back and go home to the hut. But it was just like, that was a taxi of mum and dad. Like, how can we know they're safe by picking them up ourselves? What kind of car did Hayley Swan's dad have? I can't even remember, but he used to play

Nickelback for us. And it became like an on-drive. We weren't into Nickelback. It sounds like he didn't want to do the pick-ups anymore and he's like, how do I make this stop? They'd always call Craig Sproul first. Yeah, and the rule was always like, doesn't matter what state you're in, like if you've done something terrible, the Hayley dads will be there.

That's good. And would they ever tell you off? No, not until the next morning. Okay, right. Okay, that's good. All they're telling off was, look at this photograph. That's sort of a punishment. That's Guantanamo Bay level.

Yeah, it is. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Girl. That's sort of a punishment. That's Guantanamo Bay level. Yeah, it is. Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play. ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the top six. Tehuia is a train service that runs between Auckland and Hamilton. It's a bit of a slow dog, but you know, you've got to start somewhere. Totally. What about it? Chugga, chugga. Ch slow dog, but you know, you've got to start somewhere. Totally. A bit of a chugga-chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Chugga-chugga-choo-choo. We've got to get somewhere. We've got to get back.

You can't just jump straight into bullet train territory. Well, I'd love that. Oh, that'd be good. It'd cost so much money. Oh, yeah. That'd be pretty good. They have a bullet train. Well, it's great because they had 9,212 passengers in the month of April.

They had 384 passengers per day out of 24 days in April because it doesn't run on public holidays or Sundays. And that is almost hitting its 400 passengers per day target set by the NZTA in 2022. Well, that's good. So that's pretty good stuff. It's on the rails. Yeah. But, you know, that's not only last month.

It had a string of great accomplishments there. Okay. Do I say the te huia or the te takes care of the, doesn't it? Yeah, you sort of say the the huia. It's like saying pin number. The N's already a number. But we still say pin number. I suppose it's a name. So when you're combining, like, I don't, the, who, yeah. It's like saying pin number. The N's already a number. But we still say pin number. I suppose it's a name, so when you're combining, like, I don't know.

I don't know. Well, the top six other great things that happened to Tehuia last month. Number six, it ran over 10 $2 coins and flattened them perfectly. Oh, fun. Oh, you shouldn't be encouraging people. I'm certainly not. I'm certainly not. I never would.

Of course, I never ever would. Good. As a train safety enthusiast. But it just smoothed it. Just it. And no one lost them. Because that's the other thing. If you try to flatten the coins, it always goes.

Number five on the list of the top six other great things that happened to Tahuia last month. The train service between Auckland and Hamilton. It went on a third successful date with Thomas the Tank Engine. Oh, they've been flirting for a long time. I don't want to give away too much, but let's just say train went into tunnel. On the third date? Uh. Oh.

She's a classy lady. She is classy. Amazing. Number four on the list of the top six other things that happened to To Huia last month that no one's talking about. It put itself into neutral when coasting down hills and saved a ton on gas. Oh, that's good. Good.

Do you do that on that hill on the way to work? No, I don't. I do every morning. Do you? And that's why you're 20 minutes late to work. No. No, it's downhill. It's the fastest the chimney can...

Literally, it's the fastest I go on the entire way to work. My pop always told me it was naughty because you don't have full control over your own vehicle. Straight up. Pop had a great point. Pop had a good point there. Straight up, isn't it? Number three on the list of the top six other things

that happened to Tehuia last month. It's going to be reading the news for the new Stuff News Hub 6 o'clock bulletin. Really? With Sam? Yeah With Sam Yeah with Sam Sam and Tahuya

Wow Reading the 6 o'clock news The first train in the world To read the 6 o'clock bulletin Amazing It's going to need a big studio Yeah it's going to get That whole train in there

And pretty close to some train tracks Yeah And having one of those Pivoting tables You know when The news anchors Are talking to one camera And then they turn

And then they switch. They'll need one of those train tables. What do they call those things? Train roundabouts. They've got a name. And you know sometimes you see them in car parks and you're like, how rich are you? Yeah. Super rich. Drive in and press a button and your car turns itself around. Are you kidding me?

Sorry? Have you ever seen this in a car park? I've seen it, yeah. I've never seen this. There's one down by my house in a car park. What've seen it, yeah. I've never seen this. There's one down by my house in a car park. What, you drive onto it and it rotates you? Yeah, it's for like car parks that are a bit tight. Wow. Nice, eh?

It's got a railway turntable or wheelhouse. Okay. They drive on. Oh, there you go. And are so geared that you should be able to move a whole train with one hand. You should be able to. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six other things Tahuia accomplished last month

that no one's talking about, because they're just talking about the record amount of passengers, it untied a damsel in distress on its own train tracks and foiled the plans of an 1800s villain with a long black twirly moustache. Amazing. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And they were all moving sort of like jerky.

It was weird. Yeah. Yeah. And they were all moving sort of like jerky. It was weird. Yeah. Yeah. It was really all over the place. And number one on the list of the top six other things that Tahuia accomplished last month, as well as record passengers, it tooted its horn to every single school kid that went like this when it went past. Cute.

Hard to keep up with them all. Indicated toot toot. It would be like toot toot. Every single school kid. That's a hell of an accomplishment. Let's see truck drivers pull that off. I was in a shuttle from the airport into Wellington last weekend. And I was with a bunch of comedians. We were all like, give us a toot.

You know, because it's the Mount Vic tunnel. Give us a toot. He just ignored me. And then we got through the other end and I said in a very scathing way, that is the low point of my day. Have you ever been walking through, though, and heard the toots? Yeah.

I used to live in Hataitai. I would hear it all the time. I love it. And then I told him his life would be forever haunted now by the ghost. I was really quite mean to him after that. Yeah. Trying to be funny in front of your funny friends, were you?

No, they were telling me, oh, Hayley, let it go. And I was like, I'm from Wellington. This is actually... Yeah, you too. This is cursed behaviour. Yeah. Behave yourself. That's today's top six.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, yesterday was... Well, it was we were receiving the coverage of the Met Gala yesterday. And the theme was like sleeping beauties, forbidden garden vibe. It kind of reminded me of like Alice in Wonderland meets Lion, Witch and Wardrobe. Okay. It's sort of the energy it was giving.

A lot of earthy colours. A lot of greens. A lot of like plant inspired stuff, kind of fairies and whatnot. Because every year there's a theme. Yeah. For those that don't know. And what is the Met? Because the whole thing is a fundraiser.

For the Metropolitan Museum. Yes. And they have archives like of fashion and they curate a exhibition and they bring out clothes and whatnot from these archives. And this kind of marks the beginning of it and they raise money for the museum. And it's a who's who of celebrities attending. I know. So Billie Eilish wasn't there, I noticed.

Taylor Swift also not there. Busy? Uninvited. Who knows? Who knows? I'd say busy. I wondered, are you allowed to say no? Like, it just looks like the most awful,

god-awful event to have to go to. And I'm sure some people say no, right, just out of like, I cannot be bothered with this. Not a good event if you've had a blowout. You know what I mean? So, notable people missing. Rihanna wasn't there. Apparently she was sick.

Blake Lively, Bella Hadid, the Beavers, Justin and Hayley, Taylor Swift wasn't there. Travis Kelsey wasn't there. Anne Hathaway wasn't there. Have you seen that Anne Hathaway movie on Prime? Do not bother. It sucks. I saw the trailer for that and I thought that looked like such trash. I can't believe Oscar award winning Anne Hathaway has done the shittest

movie of 2024. And she's trying to like, I thought she was trying to be like an actress with mana. You know? And then she's done this sort of rom-com thing. Being very selective of her projects. Billie Eilish wasn't there. Margot Robbie wasn't there. Yeah, so people who have had really

big years weren't there. I suppose the date didn't work or they just weren't invited. Katy Perry wasn't there but Yeah, so people who have had really big years weren't there. I suppose the date didn't work or they just weren't invited. Also, Katy Perry wasn't there, but she was. Why? AI. No, because did you see this? What?

They AI'd her, right? Someone AI'd Katy Perry and her mum, Katy Perry, she had a screenshot and her mum was like, I didn't know you went to the Met. You look lovely in this dress.

And it was AI. I wasn't there. So AI was like, this page was dropping all of these AI outfits being like, Rihanna arriving at the Met. And there's huge sort of sculptural, structural dresses. And you look and it's got that AI blur. Yeah.

You know, you were like, that's impossible. Do you know who was there? Taika Waititi. In a full brown leather tie, shirt, suit, pant, everything. It looked like the kind of outfit you could spill anything on that and it would either run off or wipe off very easily. Yes, indeed. And his partner, Rita Ora, she was wearing a dress

and apparently she had a bit of a lip slip. She was going to say she was one breeze away from a vaginal exposure. Now, one of the outfits of note is Kim Kardashian, who like has, last time she was there, she did the Marilyn Monroe thing. And then everyone was like, okay, because she really publicized how she starved herself for like a month to get into the dress. Because obviously you can't alter Marilyn Monroe's famous dress.

And everyone was a bit like, oh, we're not loving that. And then this year she turned up with, like, I think she's had a couple of ribs removed. Because she's in this, like, silver corset that honestly is tiny. And then, you know, she's got a badonkadonk. So, like, the proportions are really exaggerated. And she looked like...

Like she'd really been tied into it. Yeah, I want to see inside because you could not wear that thing all night. But the thing that I noticed was she had this like grey it looked like a Glassons cardigan. Right. The Glassons cardigan that every girl had

about 15 years ago and it was all pilled. Maybe it was a Glassons cardigan from 15 years ago that everybody had. Yeah, I'm like, bitch, you're a billionaire, right? Is she a billionaire? Close. Close or if not, yeah. For sure.

And yeah, everyone was a bit like, what's with the cardigan? Now, obviously, designers will come out over the next couple of days being like, here's the story behind it. She was like this raggedy hair. my hairdresser and friend shari was like didn't someone not like did she run out of time really she's got this like her hair's all messy and at the bottom it's like half a plat you know like you don't know but girls you know when you put your hair in a braid to sleep and you wake up and the whole plat's like shoved down to the bottom and just like the scrunchies at the very tail end of it. That was her hairdo.

Right. There were some amazing looks for sure. I thought it was like, I thought the men did better than the women. I'll say it. I think the men did better than the women. What about Chris Hemsworth? Because people were like, what's happening there? Vanilla suit. Boring. There were some people that were boring. Matt Damon wore a tuxedo. Hugh Jackman

wore a tuxedo. And that's just not on for the men Really? It's no effort If you look at like some of the men wearing gowns and skirts and tartan and textures and hats and florals and then we've got old snore fest over here

that look like they're at the Oscars Get a grip, it's the men They're just obviously being made to go, right? Yeah, totally. And tux is easy. Yeah. Well, there you go. It's the Met. Done. Everyone can eat a burger again. And just go about their lives.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It is so silly, silly, silly that silly little bowl. Silly little bowl, silly little bowl. Silly little bowl, silly little bowl. Silly little bowl. When you're re-watching a show, have you got a silly little bowl?

Are you high on concept? Do you have a silly little bowl? Yes, I do. It's got a duck in it. It's from when the girls were kids. And for some reason, it's still around. It's a cute little bowl. It's got a duck in it.

We're doing silly little pole, not silly little bowl. I wouldn't be mad at silly little bowl. People will tell us about their silliest bowls. Every day? That's a great idea. A phone in time. The silliest bowl you had. Yeah.

Mine would be the one that Aaron made. It's a pinch pot that we made during lockdown over Zoom with our potter friend. And it's so bad you can't even pick it up. What's a pinch pot? For salt or something? No, it's a clay pot that you make just by pinching like that instead of on the wheel. Yuck.

Yeah, it's so bad. Oh, chuck it out. No, it's on the shelf. Did you cook it in the oven? No, no, no. We left them on our doorstep and our friend went and picked them up and put them in her kiln. Oh, no. That's like your kid makes something at school and then you've got to have it in your house forever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll never get rid of it. It's gorgeous. It's a token of the time. When re-watching a show, do you skip over the slow or boring parts? To me, it's just mind-blowing that people re-watch shows. There are so many new shows, it's impossible to keep up.

There's some you need to rewatch. I'll do a recap. If the first season was four episodes long, and then two or three years later the second one comes out, I might do a rewatch. Aaron rewatches Game of Thrones every couple of years. Really? The whole lot?

The whole lot. There's certain episodes of TV shows I'll rewatch. Always sunny in Philadelphia, there's about three episodes per season I'll always go back and re-watch. Those are the banned ones that you've downloaded. Howdy, howdy, howdy. The banned ones, the lethal weapon ones. Yeah. Yeah, the ones that you will not find on Disney+.

But yeah, I pick it for the episodes. There's nothing I'm going to skip over. Okay. When re-watching a show, do you skip over the boring parts? 46% of people said yes. 54% of people said no. Garrett says, I may look at my phone a little more than usual, but I don't skip.

Yeah, okay. Anna, the musical episode of Grey's Anatomy should never have been made. There's no way I'm putting myself through watching that again. Okay, you shouldn't be re-watching Grey's Anatomy. There's too many seasons. There's too many seasons and too many episodes. There's so much.

Or they'd just go find another medical show. What was the reasoning behind Grey's Anatomy's medical episode? Was someone having a brain tumour or something? Musical episode. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. And they were imagining the world as musical theatre. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Give me strength. You've got to try these things, you know. Yeah, try and then move along. If I'm re-watching a show like the OG Top Gear or Grand Tour, there ain't no skipping on that gold. Okay. Would you skip on FVH podcast re-listen?

No, you wouldn't. Wow. That's what Mason said. That's a fair point. Fair point. It's all gold right here though, mate. No, slow. No, slow. No, boy.

Just looking forward to the show to see what I'd skip if I had to skip today. I would have skipped earlier on the podcast when you took your lozenge out of your mouth. Yeah, I'd skip that. I'd skip that. It would have been hard to skip because it all happened so quickly. Rest of it, though, pure gold. Lisa says that I don't skip because I'm a purist. Okay.

She's a purist. Debra, I just skipped the whole episodes that I don't skip because I'm a purist. Okay. She's a purist. Debra, I just skipped the whole episodes that I found boring from the start onto the next one. Okay. Stacey, no,

watch them all except for that musical episode of Grey's Anatomy. Skip that one. Wow, there you go. So is that just universally agreed upon to be like the worst episode

of Grey's Anatomy ever? Does everybody hate that one? Sounds like it. You fellay here. Wasn't that the biggest song? Did they sing that song? Yeah. From previous Grey's Anatomy.

Oh, yeah. It sounds terrible. Jared says, take the good with the bad. It's all part of the journey. How philosophical. Yeah, it's how they intend you to watch it. Linda said, yes, I watch it all unless it's the Grey's Anatomy musical episode. Wow. People really hate it unless it's the Grey's Anatomy musical episode wow

people really hate it that's the perfect zone outbreaks for me says Brianne so she doesn't skip but she uses that time to go and do other stuff

any show that incorporated COVID into their storyline is getting a skip from me yeah we don't want to remember that not too many did they

not too many did no no they didn't. They kind of... But you could tell watching shows where, like, they'd obviously, like, had to shoot isolation scenes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the end of it. Crafty about it.

That silly little poll. 14 past seven. Next. Someone came to fix something at my house yesterday and they weren't there for long. Doesn't sound like it got fixed then. Fair assumption right there. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Oh, fuck. I've just got a drink. I over did it. Just me. I hereby gift you one of my sick days. Go home and recover. I'm already here. That's the hardest part.

Getting here. No, the hardest part. Motivating yourself to. The hardest part is doing the show with you. Motivating yourself to get out of bed every day and face the world again. Oh, my God. Wow. That's the hardest part.

Tell us about your washing machine. So our washing machine, Sade sent me a video the other day and she said, is it supposed to be doing this? And it was smoking. And I said, is this an actual question? Do you need to be asking me this? Is this rhetorical? You don't have the tilde before it. You know, I always use

the tilde to indicate sarcasm because sarcasm can be lost in text form. I don't bother with that. If they can't pick up the sarcasm. Yeah, in text form. I don't bother with that. If they can't pick up the sarcasm... Yeah, they're no friend of mine. Yeah. Do you have the smoking model of the washing machine? No, it doesn't smoke your clothes.

Oh, because mine does kahawhai and your s'mores. Does it? Yeah. That's why I said if you put it on the fish... Salmon. Yeah, your washing machine does a great salmon. It does a great smoked salmon. Absolutely blown to bits, but easy to spot the bones.

Seriously, though, don't people put fish in dishwashers? Do you know what I mean? Like, just put it in the oven. Put it in the oven. Do you know how long a dishwasher cycle is? It's ages. It's ages. Yeah, that thing's going to be dry.

So it was smoking, and then I said, I don't believe it's supposed to do that. Okay. No. And she said, Christ, it's one thing after another around here. And I said, sure is. But we've just got to get out of bed in the morning and face this world again tomorrow. You've just got to get to Christmas. You've just got to get to Christmas. You've just got to get to Christmas.

And then everything will quieten down. I've just got to get these two things off my plate. And then I'm not putting anything more on my plate. And then there's more on my plate. Yeah. There's a lot of things happening. Everything's broken. Even the kids were like, God, another thing?

They were like, yes, another thing. So it's out of warranty. Yeah. But I made a call and somebody said Consumer Guarantees Act says washing machines should last for five years here's

I'm sorry but if you're paying a two thousand dollars or something or three or four or five five years you want like fifteen years

yeah right of washing machine of washing machine I mean it does a lot. It's pretty full on. We do a lot. You don't,

we're doing loads a day, you know. Yeah, right. So our five years is probably the equivalent of your 15 because we're probably doing three times

as many washes. Don't have kids. Beautiful. Yeah. So, and this is the person, the manufacturer, I won't say they've been

a pleasure to deal with on this front, but they said, oh yeah, just say, ring the service department and say, consumer guarantees, Zach said it should be five years and they'll be like, to deal with on this front but they said, oh yeah, just say ring the service department and say consumer guarantees, accent, it should be five years and that's why they said buying those extended

warranties is a waste of time. Oh yeah, those things are a rip off. I buy AppleCare Yeah, AppleCare. That's not a rip off. No. Yeah. Because I've bought AppleCare with almost all my Apple products and I've used it almost every time Same. Sometimes I'll be getting towards the end of it and I and I've used it almost every time. Yeah, same.

Sometimes I'll be getting towards the end of it and I won't have used it, so I'll just throw my phone on the ground. I just get my, like... And I'll be like, use. Phone, laptop, everything. My iPod even. Yeah. And I'll smash them.

Smash it and make the most of that AppleCare. That's not what AppleCare does. So it does now give you screen repairs, doesn't it? Yeah. But it just starts on its own. So they said you ring it and, said, this is all they do anyway. If you buy an extended warranty, all that it means is

you go to the place you bought it off and say, hey, what about that extended warranty? And they're like, they consume a guarantee. Yeah. That's all they do.

They're getting money for nothing. But they've got your money. Yeah. So they said, someone will be around to repair it. And a man rang me and he said, I'm 60 minutes away,

which I thought was weird. Why not just say one hour away? Yeah. He and he said I'm 60 minutes away. Which I thought was weird. Why not just say one hour away? Yeah. He's like, I'm not far away. I'm 60 minutes away. I said 60 minutes away. He said, yes. I said one hour. He said, yes. He was at my house in five minutes. So he was there and he was actually five

minutes away. He was six minutes away, I believe. Oh, right. Okay. But he did say 60 and confirmed one hour. Oh, right, okay. But then he was there and he said, where is the washing machine? And I jokingly said, in the laundry. Because that's where washing machines go. Well, some people have them

in their hallway, in their kitchen, in their garage. So I said, it's in here, I'll unlock the door for you. So I unlocked the door and he popped in. Wait, you lock your laundry? Lock the laundry door. Oh, there's a door into the door for you. So I unlocked the door and he popped in. Wait, you lock your laundry? Lock the laundry door. Oh, there's a door into the laundry from outside. Right. Okay, alright. Because it's an older, it's

the bones of an older house. I thought you didn't want your kids eating Tide Pods. Oh, you don't want your kids eating your Tide Pods. I wouldn't eat a Tide Pod. That's too expensive. Not even in a desperate moment. You can get lollies for cheaper. It's purely... Vitamin C. Purely budgetary reasons that stop me eating those delicious looking Tide Pods.

They're like a Starboy Squids. It's a Starboy Squids. I'm going to have a Starboy Squids. Oh, that's a Tide Pod. I don't care. So he came in and he literally was like, knelt down in front of it, opened the door, and he said, oh, that's not good.

And I was like, what? And he's like, all this. I he said, oh, that's not good. And I was like, what? He's like, all this. I was like, yeah, I know. What do you mean all that? Did it look black or something? When it was smoking, I think something was just rubbing. So there was like this plasticky dust in the washing machine. Right.

And he's like, that's not good. I was like, no, that's why we called you. And then he stuck his hand in and spun it. And I swear he said, oh, it's effed all right this is out of my thing someone else will call you soon got up and left oh i hate that you mean like it's out of mind like you're gonna need a whole new one well he's like someone's gonna need to come and pick this up and take it somewhere and i was like oh can it not fit in you and i was like chasing he was done he was like wiping his...

Yeah, right. He was out. I want nothing to do with this. Like it was a cursed machine. You know in movies where someone comes around and they're like, oh, my house is cursed. And someone comes around with a bit of sage. And then a ghost is like, boo.

And the person's like, ah. And runs away. And they're like, wait, where are you going? That was like... I want nothing to do with this house. I want nothing to do with this house. This is beyond my abilities. And he was running to his car.

I was like, wait, can you take it? He's like, it won't fit in my car. It would 100% have fit in his car. He was just like. It would fit in my car. Yeah. He was. Wow.

Wiping his hands of it. And he said, someone will call. And literally as he squealed up the driveway, I was like, when will they call? They won't call, my love. They won't call. He was gone. Did they call? They won't call, my love. They won't call. He was gone. Did they call? They haven't called.

Of course they haven't called. You might have to call today and chase them. I might have to call another call. I hate calling. Yeah, I know. I email every time. You're going to have to be a laundromat person for a while, it sounds like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are full laundromat at the moment. Why don't you come to my house? We could hang out. No, we've got too much laundry. I've got machines. What are you doing? They do like four loads a day. We've got kids. We could hang out. No, we've got too much laundry. What are you doing? They do like four loads a day. We've got kids, we've got towels, we've got animals. You don't want our laundry.

No, I don't. We put that machine through a lot. I mean, no wonder it's broken. I run a child-free laundry. Child and dog free. You're running a very different laundry. Yes, I am. When we go to the laundromat, sometimes I feel bad about how they're not charging us enough. Yeah, right.

Because you're soiling their machines. Now, I haven't been to the gym for weeks and weeks and weeks. I've got other priorities in my life. I've been trying, haven't I? I've been like, come to this class. And I've just got to get my comedy fest show open and then I'll have time

on my hands again. I'm running a split. I've just got to get a couple of things off my plate. Just got to get a couple of things out of the way and then I'll be alright. Because you missed a couple

of Hayley Tens yesterday at the gym. Oh! I'll say it. God, well snap a picture! No, you're not supposed to. You're not allowed to just take pictures of people

at the gym. Yeah. Just to show your friend because you think they'll find them attractive. Just be subtle about it. Make it seem like you're not supposed to. You're not allowed to just take pictures of people at the gym. Yeah. Just to show your friend because you think they'll find them attractive. Just be subtle about it. Make it seem like you're trying to look at something. Vaughn, can you even tell that I'm taking a photo of you right now? Yeah. It's the angle of the phone.

No one holds, that's the thing, it's the angle of the phone. No one holds their phone flat. Yeah. You've got to set it up to make it look like you're doing a video of you doing a bicep curl. A bicep curl. Have you ever done this before? Oh, it's been quiet. Are you trying to be subtle and it takes a big loud clunker?

Yeah. No. Anyway, take a picture. Don't be a dick. Okay. Or do a sketch or something for me afterwards if that's invasive. Or a deep description. I'll sit down with a police sketch artist after the gym

to recount the person that Hayley would have found hot and then give you the piece of paper the next day and you can be like, eh. What about when you did think that you saw a boyish lesbian that I'd be into, but it did turn out just to be a boy, just to be like a young man. Anyway, why are we talking about the gym? Oh, because exercise, right? We know that it's

good for us, we know it's good for our bodies, and it helps with the ageing process. We keep limber, keep things moving, keep things up, tight, tucked. But apparently, it can also help with the ageing process that happens to our voice. So they say that a lot of us don't think about the aging process of our voice,

but you do notice it. You don't hear old women talking with the clarity of which I speak now. You know, they get a bit of rasp. They get tighter. Isn't that because of all the ciggies and booze? But the other day, what was it? Late night karaoke? News or something.

A woman was talking and then at the end they said 70-year-old so-and-so. I was like, I heard that. Who was that? They said 70-year-old. You're like, no way. They sounded 30s. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, that's a young sounding voice.

Yes. Well, there are some exercises apparently that you do at the gym in your shoulder, your traps, your neck sort of region, that can actually help the muscles in your larynx to stay... Youthful? Youthful, basically. Is it yelling? Is it screaming? Is it just like going from zero to a hundred? No, no, physical. Not just like, ah! Like you can do physical sort of exercises for your vocal folds

to keep them strong in the way that you would your body. Right. And that stops them from getting weak, which totally changes the sound of our voice. It makes the voice sort of shrink, more timid, quieter, more warbly, hoarser, all of the things that you sort of think of when you think of like... When you hear old people speak. Old people talk.

Yeah, right. So you can actually exercise your vocal muscles. So it's just like doing upper, like, when you hear old people talk. So you can actually exercise your vocal muscles. So it's just like doing upper shoulder exercises. Yeah, shoulder-y stuff. I mean, you can do vocal stuff, but I did voice training for three years and then I always remember my voice teacher saying, every day, vocal practice is an everyday thing.

I haven't done it since I left toy. But isn't like to speaking, isn't that enough? Well, maybe let's run through a few now. I'm ready. Please pass the pins. Please pass the pins. We do a lot of breathing, like putting your finger on your lips like this and going.

What does that do? But is that making your... I don't know. I can't remember. It was so long ago. Man, you paid $40,000 for this course? Yeah, but listen to my voice. It's great.

It was the fart walk woman. It was the fart walk woman that didn't sound 70. That's right. Because a couple of people messaged and I know exactly what you're talking about. We heard it. Fart work woman. We played it.

We played it and at the end she said she was 70. We're like, ah, no way. Say hi out for a fart walk with my husband. Yeah, it didn't sound 70. Yeah. What astute listeners we have. Maybe she's 10 points to each of their houses. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, 10 points.

Is this a Harry Potter thing? I think it is. He's slipping in quite a few references. Yeah. Do you know, I was reading this. You're in parallel credits to do good here. Reading this research. Well, someone's team JK Rowling, aren't they?

The important, wow. I separate. I can separate the woman from her art. Can you? Mm. This guy listens to Michael Jackson on the drive-thru. Yeah. Well, the latest celebrity roast is on Netflix. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Well, the latest celebrity roast is on Netflix. Tom Brady, I mean, not really... I mean, big in America. Big in America. As of America. Yeah. As big as American footballers got before Taylor Swift dated one of them. Yeah, 100%. And so he, it's been his turn to be roasted

and a lot of celebrities that you will know appearing to roast him. Kevin Hart, Kim Kardashian, Nikki, what's her face? Nikki Glacier. Glacier, because she is just like the roast queen. She comes in with the most savage burns. But I, yeah, I'm a bit like you, Vaughn.

I'm like, why do they still do these? I don't even like watching them. They're too mean. They're too mean. I don't like people. This may come as a surprise to you, Vaughn, I'm like, why do they still do this? I don't even like watching them. They're too mean. They're too mean. I don't like people. This may come as a surprise to you, but I don't like being around them when people start getting mean to each other. Oh, should we stop nagging you in the morning when you walk in?

Yes, please. I thought the crying would have established that I didn't like it. I thought you were laughing crying. Like there's light ribbing and light roasting, and that's in a friend group is to be expected. And you go for the obvious stuff. And it's actually a sign of, you know, that you love these people. Totally.

But there were some jokes about, because obviously Tom Brady used to be married to Giselle. They've got kids together. And who made the joke about, like, is it Kevin Hart did a joke saying like Giselle gave you the ultimatum retire or we're done but when you've got a chance but if it's going to cost you your wife

and your kids, you know what you've got to do. You've got to play the game or something like that and they were just like roasting that he's like lost his family, lost everything. And there was a joke about the owner of one of the teams who was inappropriate. Yeah, the head coach has got some outstanding inappropriate

touching accusations his way and Jeff Ross, they call him Roastmaster General, the little bald guy. I'm allowed to say it. Fletch is allowed to say it. You're not allowed to say little bald guy. It's our word. It's our word. And he said something

about the massages from, and apparently, Tom Brady just walks up behind him and is just like, no more of that. Yeah, he said,

don't say that shit again and it got picked up on the mic. Yeah, this six foot, whatever, like, American football player

looking down on that little guy doing so they should again. I don't like them. They're so awkward. I can't watch them. this is a question I want to ask this morning. When did a friend roast or when did someone roast you

and it went just a little over the line? Maybe you were just being playful, playful, playful, just a little bit of a ribbing, a little bit of a negging, and then they just went. It's so awkward when you actually upset someone. Yeah. I mean, you don't mean to No, of course not

It just escalates, doesn't it? Everyone's ribbing We're lightly roasting And then someone takes it too far This is when I say Fun Hailey's left the room I've had to say it a couple of times before I don't think I've said it to you guys yet, have I? You've said it to me Ursula and I were circling like sharks

one day and Hailey's like, in all seriousness, fun, Hayley's left the room. And the sharks were like, ote. Swam away. Ote. We want to play. Ote. Want to play with our food. Ote.

But I know this feeling when you're like, ha-ha, we're all having fun. I've had no sleep. I'm really stressed. I'm actually quite upset. I've got a lot of things on. So, hey. We're going to call it there, aren't we? So you'd normally be able to take that roasting, just not on that moment.

Yeah. Okay, well, I don't know. I don't know if people would be willing to open up on this, because when a roast goes too far, it's hit a nerve, probably because it's true, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But let's see.

0800 dials that MSN number. We want you to call us now. It can be a roast that you were on the end of or maybe a roast that you were giving your friends. Have you got an example? Somebody messaged in saying, I said to my dad, geez, COVID's gotten so bad that your hairline and your eyebrows

have started socially distancing. And dad did not take it well at all. As soon as lockdown was lifted, dad was in an Ashley and Martin. Yeah. Well, the latest celebrity roast on Netflix of American footballer Tom Brady. A lot of celebrities. And some say it's gone a bit too far.

Some of the jokes. They always do, though. Yeah, they always do. I think there's been previous ones that are so much worse. But maybe because it was Tom Brady, a lot more people were watching. Yeah. Because he's like the all-American family football guy.

Normally they're at Comedy Central, right? And now Netflix have gone. Yeah. So a lot more people would see. Yeah. We want to know when a friend roast has gone just a little too far. Oh, some of these hurt, eh? And you can tell that they still hurt because these people have not forgotten.

Nope. The text flooded. I had a text read out on Bree and Clint's show, roasting my partner that I felt like a single mother to his cricket. Like he was having an affair with his cricket. Oh, right. And the kids repeated it. The label printer or the game?

No, the game. Okay. Although those label printers. God, I would love one of those because I want all the same containers in my pantry. From the spices and stuff. Carry on. Yeah. I think we've found the one thing more boring

than five-day cricket. Fletch. Spending five days with a cricket. Labelling his pantry items. So I said I felt like a single mum to his cricket and the kids repeated it to him. There was a bit of a roasting and then the following month we separated.

And that's, to put it in cricket terms, LBW. That's life before wife. I thought you were going to say that's the power of radio. That's the power of cricket. Shaq joins us.

Shaq, when did the roast go too far? So last year we had a court session for rugby and we were all sitting in a circle dishing out fines to each other. Yeah.

And it kind of turned into an extreme roast session, but they were picking on one girl in particular to the point where she left the party and walked like 45 minutes home and she had blisters all over her feet. And I don't think anyone knows that she ended up walking home. No one found out until two days later. But I'd say that there were five people from that roast session that didn't come back to our team this year because of it.

Oh, my God. Okay, I didn't even want to know what was said because that sounds horrific. Brutal. Did people just not read the room or were they a bit boozed? I think, like, between your friends, it's all good to boozed? I think like between your friends it's all good to roast but I think they just

picked on a few that they weren't quite close with. Yeah, you've got to be close enough. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, okay.

Shaq, thank you. Anonymous, when did the roast go too far? Oh, that's me. Yes. That's you. Yeah, that's me.

Yeah, so moved to a new town, started living my life a little bit adventurously at Christmas dinner. I was talking about stuff, and I said, oh, there's antibiotics in mine, they're pretty crap, I can't go in the sun. Neglected the fact that my aunt's a farmer,

so she goes, oh, oh, is that what you're on? And then anyway, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she told my uncle, like, oh, he's on these pills, obviously STD pills. So there you go. The whole family now thinks I'm a wandering. Oh, what? So the Christmas roast turned into a you roast

about the fact that you had an STI. Yeah, about the fact I've been wandering a little bit too fast. Oh, your whole family talking about that on Christmas day. Yeah, that's a bit too much. Leave whole family talking about that on Christmas day. Yeah, that's a bit too much. Turned out, though, it was just precautionary pulls. I was actually in the class, so that's all good.

Oh, right, okay. Good to clarify it, babe. Yeah, but you can't let down that stigma. Every Christmas, they're thinking about it. They are. Okay, keep your texts coming in. 9696, so many of these we'll get to next. When did the roast go too far? So many messages.

When did the roast, friend roast, go too far? You can feel these like brewing in people for years. This one is one that like we've all got something that haunts us from 20 years ago. That we said as a flippant teen. Yes. As a throwaway comment. And then you sort of look in the eye of the person you said it to and you know they'll remember

it for life. Yeah. I was walking home from school with my friend wasn't a wealthy friend and it was inorganic rubbish collection. I jokingly said while pointing at a pile of old toys you'll be seeing those under the Christmas tree this year. I still think about the awkward sadness 20 years on.

Oh, my God. Are they still friends with this person? That did go too far. That went too far. That's so bad. That is one of those ones that every organics collection now, and organics, when people don't know, you put all your shit on the side of the road,

the council comes and picks it up after everybody else has had a bit of a pill for through it. Yep. Every time I bet the ex-organics are like, yeah, I know. Maybe there's even some rubbish days I bet they're like, why did I say that? Why did I say that? I was such a dick.

Wow, that's obviously haunting them 20 years later. My partner's best mate is notoriously late for everything. We were all away on a trip and this one day he made us all wait for him in the blistering sun for 20 minutes. The next morning at breakfast when he arrived, I ribbed him by saying, oh, I'm only four minutes late this morning. He lost his

mind and hasn't spoken to me since. That was three years ago. It's a light ribbing. As a person who... You're late all the time. I like to prefer to say I'm on time. You guys are notoriously early. That's the payoff

For rolling in late You take a bit of a rippling about it every now and then Yeah My 8 year old sister asked my fiancé For a roast battle Didn't wait for my fiancé to say Yeah sure and went straight in with You have a lazy eye

You've got to wait You've got to sit I feel like a roast The lazy eye's off limit. Also, there's a real culture amongst kids of roasting. Like... Right. Really?

Yeah, August often Googles, like, good roasts and, like... Does she roast you? Well, I've asked her not to. I'm too sensitive to have one of my most beloveds roast me. And I'm worried about what the kids got in her, to be totally honest. I was trying on dresses for a fancy event. My friend was there.

I came out. I said, what did you think? And she went, ugly. As a joke, I went back into the changing room and all she heard was me crying. And the shop assistant witnessed the whole exchange and it was so horribly awkward. Oh, my God.

I'm always getting roasted for my hairline as it's receding. I'm 24. I shouldn't have been getting roasted for it but it's made me feel so self-conscious

I'm going to a hair replacement place. Shave it off, dude. Join the team. It rules. Slow maintenance. Did you read this one about the

as what I can't figure out that first sentence Got up to do a speech For her so called best friend Something first A girl got up to do a speech for her So called best friend And waited to tell everybody

Went on to tell everybody including the grandparents and auntie and uncles How much of a Sluts she was Needless to say they're no longer friends. At a 21st, a girl, that's what that... At a 21st. That was a real Da Vinci code working out there. It was.

That's like read the room with like wedding speeches, all that kind of stuff. It's not a roast. When I was year 13, we were in form house and study period. We were having a good time, having a good laugh. And then one of my friends turned around and said, Sian, when are you getting the call up for SpongeBob to stand in for Squidward's nose?

I didn't speak to her after that, that bitch. The whole room went quiet and everyone laughed. I went home and cried for the rest of the afternoon. Now, we're out of time, but do we have an overflow podcast here? Or have we covered them? I think we've covered the ones that are funny. There are some that are just like, oh, that's really sad. It's time for a brand new segment.

What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? Now, we were offered the chance to record a professional intro, and we said, no, please let us sing it. We'll get better. Live.

What's your jobby? Now, we do, we have heard from Scottish listeners that a jobby is a... A wee jobby. Yeah, it's actually slang for... Where are you been? It's slang... I'm in a wee jobby. It's actually slang for poo. Where are you being? I'm in a wee jobby. It's slang for going for a poo. Billy Connolly loves saying jobby. Jobby. Okay.

It's a big Scottish thing, but anyway. We know that. We know that, but it is what it is. We want to know what's your jobby. Now joining us to play What's Your Jobby, and you can call now 0800 DALS at M. Maddie, you're first up. Good morning. Good morning. Okay, I've what's your jobby. What's your jobby? Now, joining us to play What's Your Jobby? And you can call now 0800 DALS at M. Maddie, you're first up. Good morning. Good morning.

Okay, I've got a great first question. Childcare. Hit it. Vaughan, you're not allowed to guess yet. Do you work predominantly inside or outside? Oh, in summer, outside. Oh. And winter, inside.

Good question. Now, we asked you three questions, and at the end we guess your job. If we can guess it, $100. Otherwise, we go to the next caller. What kind of job... I was like, is it... Lifeguard.

Is it... Yeah, because outside they'll be at the beach. They'll be at the beach or an outside pool. Maybe that's not a question we're hypothesising. Winter, they're in the indoor pools. Okay. Great for you. and they'll be at the beach or an outside pool. Maybe that's not a question we're hypothesising. Winter, they're in the indoor pools. Okay. Great from you.

Does your job require any equipment? Oh, these are some sticky questions. We want sticky answers. Because a lifeguard would need equipment if someone was in trouble. An herb? Yeah. Can you expand on that question a little bit? Like, do you have to use any sort of tools,

like things in your hands to do your job? No. Okay. Okay. Okay, so not... Because I went in the trades. Do you know what I'm... I'm excited for one day we get a spy. Yeah.

And we're like, I'm sorry, I can't answer that question. I'm sorry, I can't answer that question. As soon as they say that twice, they're a spy. And then they're a spy. Okay, so they don't have handheld tools. Like they're not a beauty therapist or a tradie or anything like that. I've already picked it. Vaughn, ask a question.

Do you wear Crocs? Because lifeguards love Crocs. What? Yeah, they do. No, they don't. They love jandals. No, they wear Crocs. They wear jandals.

Okay, I swim at pools. No, we're talking about a pool lifeguard. We're not talking about a beach lifeguard. In winter, we're talking about a pool lifeguard. In summer, we're talking about a... Beach lifeguard. Yeah. Okay, well, I wouldn't wear Crocs at the beach.

I also think that childcare could still be on the thing because in summer they'll have an outdoor area and they're constantly taking the kids outside. You're still inside for most of it. And winter they always

bring them back inside. No, you're still inside for most of it doing your medics. Okay, she sounds like a teacher. She sounds like a childhood teacher. Okay, we'll go. We'll ask a question.

Do you work with kids? Okay, that's a good one. Do you work with kids? Do you work with children? Yes. Jump. Okay, could still be a swim coach. Could still be a swim coach. Swim coach. Do you work with him? Do you work with children? Yes. Child... Okay, could still be a swim coach. Could still be a swim coach.

Swim coach? Oh, no. Like teaching kids how to swim. Okay. I wish we had had that question before my one about tools. Let's decide. I'm going to go lifeguard. You think lifeguard?

Mm. Because childcare, you're predominantly inside. Nah, they always take them outside. That's the fun with the hats. I think swimming instructor. You think outside. I think swimming instructor. You think swimming? I think swimming instructor. Okay. Well, I wouldn't know if one. What do you

think? Well, no, I win either way because if it's swimming instructor, I get to be like, yay, but if it's not and it's like a kindy teacher or an early childhood educator, I get to be like, I told you so. Wait, wait, wait. Are we going to say... Yeah, let's do it lifeguard. No, I'm going swimming instructor. Okay, swimming or lifeguard. Same thing to say... Yeah, let's do it. Lifeguard. No, I'm going swimming instructor. Okay, swimming or life... Same thing, right?

No, it's not the same thing at all. Yeah, they can save the kids. And teach the kids to save themselves. Okay, Maddie, is your jobby a lifeguard? You should have trusted more, and I'm an early childhood teacher. I said the first words out of my mouth, right? Remember when we were brave and asked early childhood.

What's up? In summer, you don't even go inside? Well, yes, but majority outside. Yeah, the kids love being outside. Early childhood. Sorry, Vaughan. Sorry, Maddie. Maddie, thank you for playing.

Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to us, kids. Brianna, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, thank you for playing. Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to his kids. Brianna, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, thank you. Early childhood teacher. Brianna, do you wear a uniform as part of your job?

No. Okay. She's mufty. She doesn't work at Bunnings. Oh, yeah. Doesn't work at Bunnings. Doesn't work at Nonalds. Yeah, anywhere. Isn't work at Bunnings. Doesn't work at Nonald's. Yeah, anywhere.

Isn't a flight attendant. No uniform. Do you work outside predominantly? No. Inside, no uniform. Office. Office. Corporate.

Corporate. Corporate. Corporate. Corporate. Corporate. Corporate. Corporate. What's going to whittle down?

A personal assistant. Yeah. Are you on a computer all day? Whoa, stupid question. Why is it a stupid question? She's inside. That's everybody inside is on a computer all day.

Five million people to choose from. You could be doing something else and not being on a... No, they're on a computer. Everybody's on a computer all day after inside. This is so stressful. Don't answer that question, Brianna,

because it was stupid. Okay, I'll pick another one. Do you have an office here? Okay, she's inside. She could be like a barista, though. Yeah, exactly. That's why I said, do you work with a computer? I think it's a great question.

Are you a slave to a corporate man? Okay, she's inside in her uniform, but what about, can she go casual? No, that's a silly question. Can she be casual or professional? Yeah, have casual dress like a professional every day. A computer narrows it down to a professional job or another kind. We need something really to whittle it down because we're too vague at the moment. You know what this has told me?

Too many people are working inside, everybody. Chuck it in and move, get some outside work. She's inside in her own clothes. We need a really specific question. Do you work with food? Because then it's going to tell us if she works... Corporate or not. Corporate or not.

Okay, do you work with food? No. Oh, shit. I wish the answer was yes. Okay, I'm just going to have to say accountant or some kind of admin. No. Okay, you have to form it in the question. No, we've asked our three questions.

We've done three. No, you have to say, questions. We've done three. No, you have to say, Brianna, is your jobby a... Accountant. Office worker. No, you have to be specific. That's not your jobby. Okay, Brianna, is your job... HR.

Are you working in HR? Yeah, go, go, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Brianna, do you work in HR? No. What's your jobby, yeah, that's good. Brianna, do you work in HR? No. Oh. What's your jobby? What's your jobby?

Close. I'm a lawyer. I was going to say lawyer. I was going to say lawyer. I should have spoken up. That's why I said do you dress casual? And she would have said no because lawyers can't rock in in shorts. No, yeah, that's true.

Oh, well, thanks for playing anyway, Brianna. Thanks for playing. Good luck out there with the law. Yeah. Claire, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Come on, we've got to give some money away, Claire. Can I just say, long-time listener, first-time caller.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Thank you. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, Claire. Now, you're our last caller for today. I feel like it's going to be hard for you guys. Oh, okay. Well, that's a little clue there, isn't it? It's a clue. It's going to be hard for today. I feel like it's going to be hard for you guys. Oh, okay. Well, that's a little clue there,

isn't it? It's a clue. It's going to be hard for us. Did you have to study in order to get the job that you have? Technically, no. Would you need to normally study? No, I wouldn't think so, no. Probably an actor. Probably an actor.

Probably an actor. Probably got a degree in acting. Technically didn't need it. I don't want the last... You'd study to get more pay, if that makes sense. Right, you'd study to earn more, but you could slip into this job.

Okay, right, right. Or maybe like events or something. Anyway, I've asked my question. but you could slip into this job. Okay, right, right. Or maybe like events or something, you know, like events or something. Anyway, I've asked my question. Vaughan Fletch. Do you touch people for your job? Not in a creepy way, but do you touch people? Can I just ask, why are you asking this question? Well, I'm thinking of like hairdressing or nursing.

Medical. Gotcha. Something like hairdressing or nursing. Medical. Gotcha. Something like that. Chiropractor. Physio. Do you touch people? Not creepily. Not creepily, yes, I do.

Oh, that's a good question. Good question. Good question. She touches people, but not creepily. Now, so there's no rubbing. She's not happy ending the series. But then you wouldn't be able to just get your way into being a physio without training. So that rules out jobs like physios.

Yes. Does she mean touch people as in like spiritually? Am I allowed to give a clue or not? No, no, no. We haven't introduced clues. What about like a spiritual healer? She's not a spiritual healer.

Sexologist. No, she's not a sexologist. Okay. Okay, Vaughn, you've got one question, and this is our last chance. We need a whittle. To get a win today with what's your jobby. Because you can't be a therapist without qualifications. You didn't have to study,

but you did study to get further ahead in the career of a choice. What about like a carer? Like you're touching people you might help an old person up and you don't need qualifications but if you do do it you can do more of the therapy side of things. So what's a question to whittle this down?

Because you've still got a question. Do you would you consider when you tell people your job do they they go, that's nice? Yes. An aged carer. It's like an aged carer or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hang on. I've got a four-minute question for them. Claire, is your job in the... Jobby. Is your jobby in the... How do you word this? Are you a support worker?

Yes, I am. Yay! Touchdown! I'm so glad you guys got that. So who do you work with? I work with old people wearing ATC clothes. She touches them. She touches them.

Not creepy. She touches them. It was a great question at the end. It was a great question. It was a great question. Oh, my gosh. It was a perfect question. Claire, we're giving you $100.

And you do a great job. That's very nice. Thank you. Thank you. Have a great day. You too. You won $100 and a winner of What's Your Jobby. I was going to say hello to the whole people.

They won't remember. What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? She's a support worker. What's your jobby? What's your jobby? Play.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Just take my lozenge out. Vaughan, you are driving me crazy. Be a little bit more professional. Give me more sick days, Mr. Luxon. I've got the black lung from my time in a coal mine. Mr. Luxon, please. Mr. Luxon, please. Mr Luxon, please.

My immune system's never been the same since you made me work. I'm dying of all the oil. I do apologise. Pull it together. Unprofessional attitude. Three minutes to get that out of your system. I messaged on the same day to the group chat saying I had a cold. Look at me.

I'm recovered because I had viral X. And good gut health. I grew up in a damp home. A very damp home. Heated only by a fireplace. So the lounge was a good 25 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. Yeah, I love that. You good?

Yes, thank you. Good. Now yesterday, I've decided that I did a therapy session last year. Sat down with a professional, and he basically finished the therapy sessions by saying it sounds like you're surrounded by idiots. Yeah, I would have got a second notification. And I said to him, good day, sir.

Bill the company. And so I was done with that form of therapy. But what prison company was excluded from that, right? He didn't name names. Okay. No, no, He didn't name names. Okay. No, no, no. He marvelled at your relationship with Fletch. He did.

Yes, he did. And I don't believe I was even brought up as a problem. Great. She who shall go unnamed was the rule. But now when I'm doing something I like, I identify it as therapy, having a little therapy session. And I think this helps.

It helps you appreciate the things that you kind of do that you like. This is why I'm like swimming. Yeah, totally. That's your therapy.

It's time when you're not on your phone. That's the daily bread. Amen, Father, Son, and the Holy. In good time. That can be problematic depending on how many times you're doing it

and what you're watching. It's self-love. Yeah. So you do swimming? Yeah. That can be problematic depending on how many times you're doing it and what you're watching. It's self-love, you know? Yeah. So you do swimming? Yeah. That's good. Blanks everything out, right? A little bit of sensory deprivation.

Like I see people swimming with headphones now. And I'm like, what? You like the sound of the water. Yeah. Yeah. It's good thinking time. Maybe they're just trying to keep the water out of their ears. Some people have sensitive eardrums and eardrums and stuff.

Yesterday I rediscovered a love of mine. Autumn weeds. You love the weeds. No, you get a bit of weeds. Weeding is your therapy. No, no, no, not weeding. That's hard work. That's hard yakka. Okay. Burning them is my therapy.

You're burning the weeds. I bought a it's called a weed control system, but it's called a weed control system, but it's basically a flamethrower that you connect to your gas bottle and you carry around your gas bottle and it's just like, wow.

Do you know one day we're going to get like a news notification and it'll be large explosion in West Auckland and we'll all just go about our day and think, oh, that sucks. That's terrible. But what happened?

An hour later, it'll be like Vaughn's dead. Gas bottle exploded. Oh God, we sort of needed him. Jeez. Is that? Wow. That's a tree that's on fire.

I'm keeping an eye on him. Wait, so you set a tree on fire? I had a cabbage tree and. Why don't you just cut it down? Cabbage tree. What? You're not allowed to burn those down. It fell down after I put a chainsaw through it.

It was dropping the native. Yeah. They were a pain in the arse. Oh, cancel. It doesn't matter. They're native trees, man. It was a pain in the arse. It was dropping the cabbage tree spears where I mow my lawns.

Sure, we've got two of them and we hate them, but you can't remove them. They're a nightmare. This one was a danger. This one was a danger. This one was a danger to everybody and everything. If a native tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, am I allowed to put it through an Alaskan mill and have beautiful slabs of delicious coldie tree?

That's the question everybody asks themselves in that philosophical question. But anyway, the stump's there and it keeps trying to live and I'm like, not on my watch. And so yesterday I just flamethrowed a tree stump And you'll know that cabbage trees famously Very hard to burn You see them as chimneys

Really? Not like the middle and you could actually have a fire inside That's a resistance to sort of fire there I wouldn't recommend using that as a form of heating your home But that was my therapy yesterday Just going around burning all the weeds That are popping up in autumn. I love fire.

Does it, um, is it less effective than pulling out the weed because then you've got the root or does it burn off the root and the root dies? It's supposed to kill it right down. Right. Probably not as effective as pulling it out but who's got time to go around pulling out every single weed when you can just take out half a dozen at once?

It just disintegrates. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust? What do you mean dust? It doesn't burn it. It just torches the leaves or the part that it uses to...

What is that thing called? Photosynthesize. The chlorophyll in it and you just destroy it and so it can't live and it just dies. But doesn't it kill everything else around it? But this was a particularly weedy area. It would be good on my driveway, eh? My gravel driveway.

It would rule on the gravel driveway. Very little chance of the fire spreading. Okay, so come and bring it over. Yeah, but I'll stop you before the two cabbage trees. You sure? They are a pain. How much did this thing cost? We don't put a cost on our therapies.

No, it wasn't. It was... Well, it was... Yesterday, I did it for two and a cost on our therapies. No, it wasn't. It was... Well, it was... Yesterday, I did it for two and a half hours. Yep. And if I'd paid for two and a half hours of therapy, this was way cheaper. Okay, right.

Way, way, way cheaper. Way, way, way cheaper. But why... What were you thinking when you were doing this? Like, what kind of things were going through your mind? Like, you were getting out stuff? I wish this weed was Fletch. I wish I could just push him over and burn him with a flame thrower.

Oh, that's terrible. Wow. I hate that guy. I'm sick of this. I was just listening to music and podcasts and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice.

And you felt good afterwards? I felt great afterwards because I got to play with fire and I love fire. Yeah. And there was no, you know, dangers. I did have to go and get a bucket of water because it was a little bit, that got a little bit out of control. But that was all right.

I kept an eye on it. I didn't walk away from it. Yeah, right. And then I had therapy later on when Indy had her hockey game last night. We arrived a little bit early. So I was like, you warm up with your team. And I went and had a pun of the hot chips and two beers.

Yum. And that's therapy too. Okay. Because it made me feel good. Yeah, yum. Hey, regardless of what you're doing today, if it makes you feel good, you say, I'm having my therapy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the Day. Boy, that place blows my mind. Do we have more reading about Antarctica? Or as they say in America, Antarctica? Yeah, that's yuck. You missed a whole letter. Antarctica. Do you know Antarctica had a name before it was even a place?

Ooh. Oh. I knew you before I met you. Exactly. This is today's fact. No, no, no. This is just a little bonus. Wow, bonus facts.

I love little scattered facts. It was when they knew of the Arctic Circle, the Greeks, et cetera, knew of the Arctic Circle, they hypothesized it must have an opposite and called it Antarctica before anybody had discovered Antarctica. Anti-Arctic. Yes. Yeah.

The opposite, the anti-Arctic. The following things were invented before Antarctica was discovered. Okay. The battery. Hmm. Uran Antarctica was discovered. Okay. The battery. Hmm. Uranus. The triple A? Uranus was discovered before Antarctica.

Because they're a long board. It's hard to miss it. It was hard to miss. Peter Duran invented the tin can. Oh. Before Antarctica was discovered. We should have called it a Tin Dan or Tin Duran rather than a Tin Can. Because he had naming rights.

Named it after himself. Yeah, or a Tinned Peter. A Peter Can. Peter Can. That would have worked. You got a Peter Can of tomatoes? Yeah, I got a Peter Can of crushed tomatoes. Oh, a Peter Can of chickpeas?

No, yuck. Get out of here. What are you making? Homemade hummus? Just buy it. Already made. The steam locomotive. The photograph.

The stephiscope. The steph-scope. Named after Stephanie Scope. Yes. Oh, Miss Scope. She had a pair of eyes on her. No, wait a minute. Stop for saying. She had a pair of ears on her.

A lot of things. Braille was invented. A lot. Because when was it? Morse code was invented. When was it discovered when was it? Morse code was invented. When was it discovered and set foot on? 1820. Wow.

Was when it was discovered and it wasn't set foot on for another 10 years. I had no idea. That's so late. I know. So late in the game. What do they think was down there? They just never went looking. Too cold.

So apparently. They're on the boat and they're just like. Don't go any further there. In 1773, James Cook, that guy, and his crew crossed the Antarctic Circle for the first time. He discovered some islands down there, but never set his eyes on the continent itself. Okay. They believed he was within 150 miles.

Oh, he was so close. So close. God, just keep going, you know. Hope he had a bloody Mac Puffer. Oh, yeah. Stuff with some warm bird water. Those weren't invented

until 1850. Oh, God, it would have been so cold. Until they found all the penguins. Yeah. And they were like, what are they wearing? We'll try to replicate that. Or wear one of those. Stuff some of them in an insider coat. That was the first ever puffer. Side fact of the day.

They plucked a penguin and stuffed it in. Yeah, like sacks of penguins. They're just whole penguins. Yeah. Because they're usually those giant penguins. I reckon they just hollowed one of them out. Yeah. Shoved it on.

The ones that were even bigger than emperors, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, imagine seeing one of those. Imagine one of those standing right there. Admiral penguins. And you're just like, hey. Hey. Oh my God, you're so big.

That'd be freaky. And it's like, like in that weird penguin noise. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. We're having quiet time. The largest penguin ever documented goes to the species Kumuano Fordici.

Italian, of course. Yeah. And it would have been over six foot tall. Yuck. species, Kumuano Fordici. Italian, of course. And it would have been over six foot tall. Yeah. Imagine like me, but I'm a penguin. Hello. No, six foot eight. So it's Aaron. Aaron is a penguin. That's insane. Aaron could

have hollowed out a penguin and got in and put his arms in and it would have been You'd need to make arm holes because your arms would be too long. Aaron's got very long arms. The flippers. Maybe his hands could have come out at the end and had two smaller penguins as gloves. Yeah, it would be more of a shawl.

Yeah, it would look cool, though. And then two baby penguins on his gloves. The tough guys in mythological stuff always wore a bear head and pelt as for warmth or a wolf. It would be pretty badass to have a giant penguin. It would be. And I reckon warm too. And waterproof. A bear head and pelt or a wolf. Yeah. It'd be pretty badass to have a giant penguin. Yeah. It would be.

And I reckon warm too. And waterproof. Yeah. That's actually something to consider when you're thinking about hollowing out an animal. It was more waterproof. Yeah. Wouldn't be able to fit those in Kelly Tarleton's. Oh, no.

It wouldn't be getting through the door. You would if you laid them down, but they'd always have to be bent over once they're in there. It'd be pretty. Yeah, they'll be hunched. Come and see our penguins. They're always laying down. Yeah, they're a bit hunched. Just can't stand up.

We are also taking Koha because we want to make the roof a bit higher for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's on you, visitor. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the idea of Antarctica existed long before Antarctica was discovered and it wasn't even cited until 1820.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. As I mentioned, there's a small TV that plays above the producer's booth. I don't really know why it's there. The news, you've got the news on in the mornings. Yeah. Yeah, so we can make sure like if there's any breaking news, it pops up on Breakfast or AM Show. Heard of a phone?

You're just watching Tally. We're boring you to death. No, but this morning, early on, it was on, and you guys were watching infomercials, I believe. Yeah. Mesmerised. For my entire life, I've loved infomercials, actually. Same.

Like, same. Yeah. I love watching them the first time I see one. Oh. I'll watch it, but I don't like they're so repetitive. It's the same thing over and over like that. Fishing one. I like seeing Suzanne Paul pick up a bowling ball with a vacuum cleaner.

With a Shark Jet Pro or whatever it is. There are exceptions to every rule. Jennifer Love Hewitt, say a Kia Aura, New Zealand, on the product. Kia Aura. Yes, exactly. But that fishing, some of them get out of date, like that fish harvester, that like conticking thing that goes out and it catches

fish and they're like, are you paying outrageous price for snapper? And it's $14.99. I'm like, that's actually bloody well priced. That is a great price, yeah. Great price. Yeah, or what about those infomercials for those heaters that are really heaty? Oh, for the outdoor ones, the gas ones, very heaty. You can see because of the lines.

No, it's not gas, it's ceramic. That's how it's so cheap. Yeah, it's not even gas. Gas will cost you a fortune compared to that ceramic thing. Tell me more. And there's the one that, I haven't seen it on The Chase for a while, but there was that one, do you want to get outside and exercise but the weather's poor

and it's like raining? It's like, you can do it at the comfort of your own home and then you can sit on your couch and you do it like a cycle on the couch. But now that we have social media as well, we're absolutely flooded with them online. There's

so much stuff you always want to buy. The two that I succumb to, which is the modern day, because Shannon, you were like, I want an AbFit Pro. I just want to try spin on it. Yeah. I don't care about the results. I just want one.

Which one was the AbFit Pro? Well, no, the AbFit Pro was that rocking thing. Yeah, the AbCircle Pro. AbCircle Pro. AbCircle Pro was like the wheel, the spinning wheels. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, obliques, baby, obliques. Yeah.

Remember the rocket in the 90s? Yeah. You held it on the side and you pulled like, obliques, baby, obliques. Yeah. Remember the rocket in the 90s? Yeah. You held it on the side and you pulled into your abs. Michael Chandler had one at school and he had abs. I mean, you can't argue with that. What about the vibrating foot pad for Nan and Pop to get their circulation going? The two that I've fallen for are modern day infomercials,

which are your Instagram ads, are the loop earplugs and the Mantra sleep mask. Those were the two that like everyone was getting advertised and I bought them both and tell you what, great products.

Great products. Yeah, I've got the sleep mask. What was the other one? Earplugs. Loop earplugs. They're like... Are they good though? Really good.

Because I just use the squishy silicons. Well, they're just so you can filter noise and you can turn noise off. They're good. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, right.

Non-spawn. Non-spawn. Anyway, we wanted to know on the back of this, because now that Shannon wants to buy an Ab Circle Pro or whatever. It's embarrassing. We want to know, like, what is the product that you've always wanted? You've seen those things.

You're just inundated by those advertisements. Yeah. You've seen Lizzie's. The tape. The tape that stops a flood. What? Yeah, there's a hole in the thing and he goes, and it's a meme now.

It's like my problems and it's squirting out and then he slams it with like memes. What is the thing you've always wanted? Maybe you ended up buying it and it wasn't what you thought. And it was crap. Yeah. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800 DARS at M.

Call now. Text through 9696. What is the product you were advertised, maybe inundated with advertisements, that you've always wanted? But maybe you just haven't gone through with96. What is the product you were advertised maybe inundated with advertisements that you've always wanted? But maybe you just haven't gone through with it. Maybe you want to cut through a leather shoe. With a knife. With a knife. Or maybe you

bought, you finally caved in and bought this thing and it was crap. Yeah, where's your abs fit pro now? We want to know what is the product you saw advertised that you've always wanted. The girlies and Jared have been watching infomercials. Now Shannon wants an abs circle pro. product you saw advertised that you've always wanted? The girlies and Jared have been watching infomercials. Now Shannon

wants an Ab Circle Pro. Some messages in about the Ab Circle Pro. So tread lightly and listen to some advice that you're about to be dealt. Yep. Jeff, you got your wife something from an infomercial. Yeah, I did.

I was off work sick and the short version is I purchased a lean leg machine off infomercials. How sick were you, Jeff? Were you delirious at the point where you thought I'm going to buy my wife a machine called the lean leg machine? I must

have been because it was several hundred dollars. Oh my God. And she never used it and yeah, she's now my ex-wife. I was going to say she left you. Because you said those legs are yours to do with some leaning. Jesus. Jeff, you are a

brave man. Thank you, Jeff. Alyssa, this is something you've seen on an infomercial that you want. Yeah, I want the cheese graters that you just spin the handle and push it down and it's great for you we just showed uh fletch this and he was like what where is this yeah because i do i love my grated cheese yeah it doesn't feel like you can get a big block in the hole though like you know the big KG blocks from the supermarket?

Yeah, but you'd have to cut it up. Yeah, you'd have to cut it up. Oh, I don't want to cut it up. You'd have to. Then you get shorter bits of cheese, though, don't you? No, but it's grated. That grating cheese is the worst job. Whenever we make pizza, I'm like, I'll chop the veggies, I'll do everything, and you'll grate the cheese.

And then if you buy the grated cheese, it's always like twice as expensive. And it's all floury, and it doesn't melt the same. Thanks, Alyssa. Some messages in. Somebody said I really want one of those massage chairs that they were advertising a while back. We've got one in the studio next to us and it's all broken and

terrible and it doesn't work. I think the price is roughly between $5,000 and $9,000. Holy! There was a cheap version on at the moment. I was very tempted to get it that best deals for $540. Is that good or is that bad? Or is it a cheap Najdi version where all the moment, and I was very tempted to get it, that best deals for $540. Is that good, or is that bad? Or is it a cheap, nauseous-y version where all the springs will pop out or something? Okay, so if you were to pay $5,000 for a massage chair, if an hour-long massage was $80, and

I'm going in the middle here, some can be $90 to $100, or some can be $70. Girl math is happening right in front of us. It's a return of girl math. No, that's the anti-girl math. You, for $5,000, you would get $62.50 massages. But it's not the same. It just sort of goes like this. It's better.

Oh, yeah, an actual massage is significantly better than the massage chair. Yeah. Oh, my God, when you see people on them at airports, I'm like, ooh. Trash. I'm sorry. Trash. Sit on a normal chair. Tell us what you really think.

Jesus. When we see people at airports on those, I think trash. Trash. You see people and you're just like trash. I'm sorry, but you are sitting in someone else's sweaty. We don't all have access to the lounge, darling. Just sit in a chair. They're doing, they weed me out as well and they poke you and move.

It's like, ugh. I was walking. I'd always seen those Bambino bamboo sleep pillows. Oh, yeah. As an infomercial. And I was always kind of interested in them. I walked past the pop-up store and stopped and I was talking to the lady. Because, you know, every now and then you'll see it as seen on TV pop-up store.

Yes. And I said, oh, so what percentage of the pillow is bamboo? She said, oh, 75%. So I checked the pillow label and it was 0.05%. What did they put, a bamboo leaf in there or something? Yeah. They waft a bamboo on. What are the things that you've always wanted to buy

that you've been advertised? Probably from an infomercial. Yep. Social media advertising. Social media advertising. What's the thing that you're like, oh yeah, I need that. Someone messaged you on the ah bra. Oh my god. The ah bra.

Especially when I was pregnant. This is before like non wired bras were really a thing and all bras were like wired and hard and uncomfortable and the ah bra was just like stretchy t-shirt bra. Now, everyone doesn't, but R bra was the number one. Rhonda Shear was the original R bra.

Ah. It's like you put it on and you go, ah. Rhonda. Yeah. Ah, Rhonda. Ah, Rhonda bra. Thanks, Rhonda. Is Rhonda rich? I reckon Rhonda would be doing right. Everyone had an R bra. Because did she patent it or was she just like to everybody

let's do it this way now I don't need all the money. I don't know. But like literally everyone does them now. Right. Okay. Wow. Rhonda shares net worth American Beauty Queen TV personality comedian actress who has a net worth of $10 million. Doesn't sound like she patented that bra technology. No it doesn't

does it? $10 million? No. A measly $10 million? A measly $10. No, it doesn't, does it? Is that more than 10 million? No. A measly 10 million? A measly 10. No thanks. She recently listed, in 2021, she listed her St. Petersburg home,

not the Russian St. Petersburg. Oh, right. The Florida one. Yeah. For $9 million. She's doing all right. She's doing all right. She's doing all right.

What about our bra? My partner bought a $7,000 massage chair off the infomercials. Had to have it. Went on and on and on about it. Got the chair thing. He's used it probably three times in seven months.

Again, just go get actual massages. Just get a massage. I'm 30. I still have some of the 30 Abra's my mother bought me when I was pregnant. And they are still as comfortable as ever. Still making you say, ah. Every time you put them on. They're still selling them.

I thought you meant they were. Yeah, you can still get them. But they were an infomercial. Yeah. They were an infomercial purchase. My lovely sister's about 15 years older than me and over the years I've inherited all of her impulsive ad

purchases. I got the Ginsu knives. Still sharp, I hope. I got the Ab Roller Plus, which she got flung off and broke a collarbone. How did she do that? A Pilates machine, but just recently she bought a Bambillo bed. I really hope it's bad because I want it.

But she loves it. I'm not getting that any time. Those stupid outdoor lounge pillows that you fill up with air by swooshing, like running with them and then closing them shut. Oh, I had one of those. Was it good? I got gifted one for Christmas. No, it was terrible. You could sit on it for a little bit, but it would just deflate.

Was it also like a hot dog bunnerer. Yeah. The gene. And it would open you up and you could get swallowed in the middle. And they had to say to people, these are not a flotation device suitable for pools or lakes or seas. We put it on the lake. Dangerous. Yeah. Could have died.

I bought one of those home IPL machines. Now that's not the Indian Professional League. I saw your eyes light up. Yeah, because I was like, wow, you brought a whole Indian Premier League. No. It's laser at home,L machines. No, that's not the Indian Professional League. I saw your eyes light up. Yeah, because I was like, wow, you brought a whole Indian Premier League. No. It's laser at home hair removal. Terrible. Would you trust? Somebody said terrible.

Well, they don't work because they're not dangerous. Because they're at such a low frequency so that you can use them at home without being a trained beautician. Then they don't work. We've all done laser here. You've got to ask them to crank it up you're paying per session say when it doesn't hurt i'm like get it up the creators of proactive launched in 2002 and sold it a year later it was relaunched in 2007 as a multi-level marketing firm did you know proactive was a

multi-level marketing i never did it but just Justin Bieber's short. That's what somebody said. I convinced my parents to spend hundreds on proactive when I was a teenager. I didn't actually have acne. I just wanted it because Justin Bieber was on the ad. There you go. Done. Tick. Marketing person rubbing their hands together.

Mum made a stock because it was bleaching all the towels in the bathroom. It did. Yeah, it did. It really, really did. Oh, God. The things we bought. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, God, the things we bought. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes.

Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes.

If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go we'll just review your thing I don't want people to know where my restaurant is I'm doing one of those

secret restaurants oh I was going to say that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley