ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 8th November 2023

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: NZ Places that shouldn't be Baby Names  Aaron in the Kitchen  Fletch's Bodywash  Hayley's Appointment  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchfawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchfawn and Hayley. Hey. Do you want to, um, we could almost do this secret sound. This could be like, what is Hayley's breakfast? I reckon people would get it pretty quick.

ZM's $10 secret sound. Oh, I don't like that. That's not... And that's your breakfast. Jelly. Wow. You get $10. I am jelly.

I'll go jelly. Yeah. But I don't think I'm ready for that jelly. Today is my... I think you are. Is my body too birdalicious for you, babe? Yeah, it is. Jeepers.

I'm sorry. I've often said it. Yeah. Yeah, today's my colonoscopy prep day. So no food, but I'm allowed a bit of jelly as long as it's not red. But I've put too much water in. Look at that. So you've got green sloppy jelly.

Slime. I'm going to eat some slime. God, I love jelly. Yeah. It's one of those things you always forget about. Yeah, of course you're not going to eat some slime. God, I love jelly. Yeah. It's one of those things you always forget about. Yeah, of course you're not going to make it. And you see it and you're like, oh, God, I want that. If you went to a dinner party and you were on put and you just turned up with three different jellies,

I reckon people would be pretty stoked. Hell yeah. Yeah. We used to do jelly with whipped cream and chocolate chips on top. That's why Dad would do a pud. Yum. Yeah, man. Good stuff.

Tell me what that does. What colour jelly did he go? Oh, we'd usually be a pink, a raspberry or a strawberry. Raspberry or lime are the best. Or blackcurrant. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's a goodie, the Dutch. Orange?

Nah. Can I just do it in orange? No. What about a pineapple? No. Yeah, I'm back. The orange and the pineapple were the jellies my mum used

in her famous carrot jelly salad thing. Oh, yeah. Amazing. Oh, my God. Crazy. On the show today, 8 o'clock, we've got a big concert announcement and a couple of tickets as well to give away to this gig. We'll be going. I'm excited.

I don't want to give anything away. 8 o'clock this morning, the big announcement. Next on the show, you've got some tattoos, Hayley. Yeah, I've got a few. I'm actually adding more soon. You are? Yeah. A very exciting development

that'll be part of the show. Yes. I'm getting my, the portrait of my boys. I just really feel like... Yeah, you're getting us on you. We're forever. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? I'm just feeling like we're forever. There's a guy working customs at Auckland Airport with their names on his arse. If you want to check in with people who have our initials.

And tattoos. You don't have any? I don't have any tattoos. What it means next, some research out, what it means if you have tattoos. Okay.

It means you're cool. It's not good news. It means you're cool and you can join a biker gang. One of mine is the sheet music to Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm not in a gang. Well, Hayley, you've got tattoos. I do.

Vaughn and I wear tattoo-less. And I feel like in New Zealand, there's not... Do you think there's any stigma or... Less and less by the day. Depends if it's devastate written across the bottom half of your face. I think it still has a bit of stigma. Yeah. I also think the stigma's faded on traditional moko and Maori facial tattoos.

Yeah, I think so. I actually think they look very esteemed. I mean, maybe... Yes, that's what it is. With people under a certain age. Our age and... Maybe I'm living in my Bloody liberal eco bubble Yeah go on

Get it Come on back into the centre mate Well I ask that because This study and I believe it's out of America Says that both men and women With permanent tattoos Are at a significantly higher risk Of arrest, conviction and incarceration

Compared to those without tattoos. Makes you look like a bad boy. Because it makes you look like a bad boy, yeah. And I guess there's that stigma that oh, tattoos and a gang. But I also think it all depends on the tattoo because the trend for tattoos now is, what do you call it?

It's like patchwork kind of, Carwin, what do you call it because it's sort of your vibe where you look like a scrapbook yeah yeah sticker

sticker yes where it's just like they're kind of everywhere and they're small as opposed to like sleeves this is what happens when kids grow up

and everyone gets a bloody sticker for anything yeah exactly fifth place oh here's a sticker and then they grow up and they're like

oh give me a tattoo that's a sticker so I'm a good girl boy yeah I want to look like a small child has come along and just drawn him done a few doodles And then they grow up and they're like, oh, give me a tattoo that's a sticker. So I'm a good girl, boy. Yeah, I want to look like a small child has come along and just drawn him. Yeah, yeah. Done a few doodles all over me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Doodles all over you. 609, here we are. But yeah, I feel like when you see the girlies with their butterflies and their rainbows and their other things, they probably don't face as much stigma as someone with a full, like, sleeve or a tribal design or a cultural tattoo, probably. But then if you were on a jury and the guy or girl in the, you know, court who'd been alleged of these crimes was covered head to toe in tattoos, you would instantly be like, they're bad. I know, I'd say they wouldn't have had time to commit those crimes because how long

each tattoo is a big session. Like 20 hours and they're covered in a thousand of them. Or the fact that all those tattoos would have cost a lot of money. How did they afford that? We're doing a lot of like... Do you talk to people about their tattoos? I was in a line recently

and there was a guy behind me and he had like a full leg tattoo of like a wizard and all sorts of, and it was just this line and I turned around and looked and I was like, man, I really like that tattoo. And he's like,

oh, jeez, instead of talking about it, I was like, oh, are you into like fantasy and stuff? He's like, nah. I was like, oh, do you play D&D? He's like, nah.

I'm like, why a wizard? No. And now he's getting punished by the nerds. No, no, because I wanted to know like why a wizard? He's like,

I just like wizards. I was like, I like tractors, but I'm not going to get a full leg tattoo. I always figure if you're getting it permanently put on your body, it's got to be a very important part of you. This poor guy in the line is like, I'm going to get a main tattoo of a wizard to impress the chicks, and all he's doing is... Oh, he's a nerd.

100%. Hey, dude. Mary, sick Oh, Mary, sick wizard. Mary, you're a sick wizard. Is this one of your primary D&D characters? What's his stats? Obviously, his intelligence is boosted, but is he a dexterity wizard? Oh, my God, a dexterity wizard? What just happened is...

Yeah, I said it, and I'll say it again. Is he a dexterity wizard? I'll say it. 11 past 6. Stop it, stop it, Vaughn. I'm getting so turned on. You're going to need to calm right down. Well, if you want to be more turned on,

next we're talking about something happening at Disneyland. Did you witness this? Nope. Okay. Did you do this? I didn't partake in it. I know. This is shocking a lot of people, this news.

Yeah. Out of Disneyland. Yeah, it's manky. It's manky. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Let me read you some headlines. Oh, please do, sir. The Disneyland and Disney World poop rumors are true.

Poop rumors? That's from San Francisco Gate. Boing Boing said Disneyland and Disney World have a real problem with people pooping in line. Boing Boing. Is that in news? Yeah. Okay. The New York Post reports Disney theme park guests are pooping while waiting in line for rides. What do you mean they're pooping in line. Boing boing. Is that in news? Yeah. Okay. The New York Post reports

Disney theme park guests are pooping while waiting in line for rides. What do you mean they're pooping? Crappiest place on earth. How are they pooping? In their pants? They,

no, they just kind of like crouch beside. They just go to the side of a line and they're just like, because you know how those lines kind of snake around

and there's always a side or a, there might be like a, if it's a themed ride, there might be some kind of, you know, props. Yeah. Pop a squat there. Because you can't leave, right? If someone stays, like we were there with my like wider family and I was always nipping out and being like, who wants a drink? And I'll go and buy everybody like a drink because it was so hot.

Yeah. Get a drink or some food or like people would nip out and go to the bathrooms and stuff. But I guess if you're by yourself or you don't want to leave your kids alone in the line, you just got to pop a squat. Or you can't send them to the toilet. Oh, for God's sake. I'm in the queue for the Rise of the Resistance.

Now, Rise of the Resistance, once you're in Disneyland, is $20 extra to skip the queue. Worth it because the line, on average, is something like an hour and three quarters. Do lots of people skip the queue, though, and then in themselves cause another second mini queue? No, because when you buy, so in the app, you buy the right to go on Rise of the Resistance

and it'll say come between 11 and 11.15. Oh, that's smart. And then they'll only let so many people fill that gap and then they move on to the next quarter hour and you kind of book out throughout the day. Right. Literally, we were there at the opening of Disney and boosted it to Rise of Resistance

thinking we could save ourselves 80 US dollars once you've paid for the whole family to skip the cures. They're soft at. And the line was out of the Star Wars file. They were feeding people into the line. It's insane. So someone said, I'm in the queue for the Rise of the Resistance.

Somebody let their kid take a dump on the floor and then they just walked out and left it. WTF? Oh my, wow. What? Pick it up like a dog. I guess you just need a bag. An employee at the Rise of the Resistance line

elaborated on this horror when posted on Reddit saying, fun fact, this was one of three shit related incidents at Rise today. Less fun fact, I was there for all three of them. Oh my god. Now you might be thinking children gotta go when they gotta

go. What about adults? A person claimed they didn't. Yep. A recently claimed children got to go when they got to go. What about adults? Oh, no. A person claims they didn't. Yep. A recently claimed to have seen an adult looking like they were just, like, relaxing. You know how you can squat to chill? Yeah.

Lean against something. But then the poop comes out their butt. They saw them doing a tinkle. They saw them doing a tinkle on the ground. Oh, a tinkle. Yeah. We're more accepting of a tinkle, aren't we? Are we? I was in line for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, and a little girl started spewing on the brain. Oh, tinkle. Yeah. We're more accepting of a tinkle, aren't we? Are we?

I was in line for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland and a little girl started spewing in the line. The parents did take herself. Did the parents take herself somewhere more appropriate to keep the spewing? No, no, they didn't. They just kept her right there. So you're in a line and you're passing turds

and pea puddles and chunny. Yeah. That is so grim. Oh, my God. Yeah. Come on. Man, you've been in the Rise of the Resistance line for like an hour.

You can see the front. It almost might be worth if you've got a day at Disneyland or, you know, one of these... Snappies. No, I was thinking like Dire Stop. You know those pills you take when you've got travel sickness?

Yeah, and just don't drink any water. Yeah. Raging headache. Yeah, I mean, you drink any water. Yeah. Raging headache. Yeah, I mean, you'll be blocked up a couple of days, but then maybe you could finish the day, have some Metamucil, and then flush it out. Yeah, laxative. Do you know, there's two guys who worked at Disneyland,

Ken Palman and Lynn Barron. Lynn is a man boy. He's a boy. Is it Lynn? Lynn. Oh, yeah. I've heard of them, guys. I was like, I don't think we call them man boys anymore.

He's a man boy. I've heard of men having the name Lynn. He's a boy. They've got a book called Cleaning the Kingdom, the inside of tales of keeping Walt's dream spotless, about what it was like being custodial workers at Disneyland. That'd be interesting. Well, okay. If you go to Disneyland.

And they've got a podcast called The Sweep Spot where they talk about their adventures but also talk to other people who clean places that you would never have thought. Oh, I'm going to listen to that. That would be really interesting. What an interesting pod. Yeah.

Next on the show. I don't have a way of marrying into getting a great passport. Oh, what about me? Because I've got a UK passport. Is that a great passport? Yeah, that's a great passport. Oh, what about me? Because I've got a UK passport. Is that a great passport? Yeah, that's a great passport. It used to be before Brexit. Before Brexit it was even better. Aaron doesn't have one. I also can't, it's not for my

family, but turns out there might be another way for me. It's going to be a huge sacrifice for me to do this. I'll tell you what it is next. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A bit of controversy online because there is a woman

an Australian mother who has shared a video on the Grams. It's Instagrams. It's called Have a Baby and Get an Extra Passport. I'll just turn your microphone on. Boy, I bet this went down well

online. Yeah, it really did. In the current world we live in, people hearing about trying to scan their ways into different countries. So now she's started the thing that people are like, hang on. She's actually started like a guide to help other people do this.

With all the like paperwork and information on how it happens. All you got to do is get pregnant. It doesn't matter where you are, but have the baby in the country you want the passport for. Now this doesn't work for all countries. There's only like some that do it.

Do we? So wait, we used to, right? So no, wait, the baby gets a passport where they're born, right? Yes. Here in New Zealand, but I don't think the mum does, right? I don't think so, but they flew from Australia to Costa Rica and she's had two babies

there, one, and now she's pregnant with the other and that's where she wants to have it. So she's got a Costa Rican passport, but she's also had another baby in the UK. And they give And the UK gave her a passport as the parent. Right. Oh, okay. Birthright citizenship. But now people are saying like this is, what are they calling it? Like maternity tourism.

God, I mean. Birth tourism. I've been to Costa Rica a couple of times. Beautiful country. But I don't know if I'd want to. Have a baby there. I don't know if I'd want to be in a hospital there having a baby. Yeah, totally. What are we talking hospital-wise?

Cinderblock walls? No, see, I mean, there would be nice hospital. I don't know. You're in another country. Yeah, there's something about, yeah, I just want to be close to home with doctors I trusted. She looks like a free spirit, this woman, doesn't she? Yeah, she does.

She's like a bit of a hippie. Like, you know, her husband's got a big bun on top of his head and he looks like he free spirit, this woman, doesn't she? Yeah, she does. She's like a bit of a hippie. Her husband's got a big bun on top of his head and he looks like he does yoga. Right. Is it big in Costa Rica, the yoga lifestyle? Yeah, it is indeed. On all the coasts, on the beaches? So she's got like a how-to guide.

And I don't know if she's making money from it, but there's a whole thing about birthright citizenship is the most accessible way to obtain an extra passport, help you travel in more places and stay longer. It's an investment in your family, your child's future and generations to come. I mean, I wish I had spicy passports. I don't.

We've got New Zealand, New Zealand, New Zealand. I've got the spiciest passport of all. Aotearoa, New Zealand. Kia ora. You've got a UK one because grand parents? My dad. Oh, your dad. Yeah, my dad.

Sharae was entitled to one because her dad was born in, which one just got, which one got given back to China? Hong Kong. Hong Kong. He was born in Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Funny word to say if you don't open your mouth or finish the word properly. Hong Kong.

He was born there. Oh, yeah. But, like, didn't tell them until they were past 18. So it was, like, a wasted opportunity. Oh, right. Oh, my God. You might have had a beautiful. Her brother did a gap year in the UK and came back and said,

that's the sort of place I'd like to go. But, of course, obviously I can't. And his dad was like, oh, you probably could. Have. Have. Ridiculous. Thanks for that. Yeah, thanks so much. Is it a surprise you know my father-in-law? No. That he just absentmindedly forgot to tell his children they were entitled to international

passports? Yeah. Aaron missed out by a generation, so he doesn't have it. An Italian one? Italian. Oh, that's good. Oh, I know. When I first introduced Aaron to my parents, my mum, and you know, they live in Italy half the year. My mum, who's obsessed with Italy, was like, Cortese?

Is he Italian? I was like, yeah, he is Italian. She was like, oh my God, we might be able to get a passport. And I was like, tie her a little bit here, Pats. But he can't. He doesn't have one. What other countries are on your list? Where can we get knocked up?

Well, she's only... Don't look at me. I'm not getting knocked up by you to get a passport. I'd get a Costa Rican passport. It's a great country. Yeah, I don't have the list in front of me,

but many... Oh, she's Russian. I'm sorry. She's Russian. She's got an Australian passport. Came from Australia. Oh, she's Russian. I'm sorry. She's Russian. She's got an Australian passport. Came from Australia. Oh, wow. Then got a Costa Rican one and has a UK one.

Right. I just Googled what's the best looking passport cover. And I've just been served a whole lot of ads from Timu about how I can buy other covers for my passport. They've got you now. They've got you. Yeah. I saw someone with a Swiss passport.

That was in the line at the airport. It looks pretty sexy. Oh, has that just got a red cross on the front? It's got the cross on the front? I think so, yeah. I think it's red as well. Oh, yeah. Real sexy looking. Yeah.

Swiss passport. I do like our black passports. No, I don't. It's the silver ferns off centre. Oh, you are not wrong about the Swiss passport. I told you. What is it about that? Yeah, look. It's stunning. Beautiful. It's like a panatone. the Swiss passport. I told you. What is it about that? Yeah, look.

It's stunning. Beautiful. It's like a Pantone diary, like a Moleskine diary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful. It's like a diary you get from Ico Ico. Yeah, yeah. And it was like $40.

Yeah. Pretty posh. That's nice. That's nice. It's got some sort of embossed situation on there. Remember, I could have Got one of those Should we get knocked up In Switzerland then

Yeah remember my Swiss My rich Swiss Suiter That's right I've really stuffed up My whole life By not going with him

I love you Aaron I love you Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley Play ZM Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley's Silly Little Poe.

Silly Little Poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe. Silly Little Poe. Silly Little Poe. Silly Little Poe. Silly Little Poe. Today's Silly Little Pole With your nudes

Your two minute nudes Your bops Do you drain the water Before eating them Or keep the water in And like slurp it out And then drink the soup at the end Or drink the soup

Basically are you ditching the soup Or are you drinking the soup I like to We've talked about this I like to evaporate my Liquid And make them really soggy. That's yeah.

Almost slimy. They like gluggy. You're in a rest home and they're mushing up your food so you can digest it with your gums. I would always cook the noodles, drain the water, then add the flavour and stir that in. Always flavour. I don't want to say that I'm better than you guys.

I just don't eat them. No, I don't eat them either. I have never been a huge fan of them but you just get home as a teenage boy and you're just polished off a bag of farm-baked biscuits

and, you know, a half a loaf of white bread and you're like, one thing I need now is more carbs and salt. Some nudies, yeah. I just remember throwing them up

and the feeling of the ribbons coming down my throat and I just have never, ever, ever been able to do them again. Quite the pleasure to vom, really, compared to corn chips. Oh, yeah, corn chips are not fun to vom. Corn chips will cut you on the way out. Yeah, totally. Well, the debate online has come on, there's a woman who's shared her heartfelt belief

that you add the flavour to the water and then you keep the water you let it marinate, then you just let rip, you've got to slurpy slurp it up and have a little drinky poo That's how my wife and daughters do it Yeah, but they're of Asian descent, you know, like

they would like a broth They do, they do. Nothing Asian about two minute noodles But the broth part, right, you'd. Nothing Asian about two-minute noodles. But the broth part, right, you'd be like, yeah, that's a delicious soupy broth. If I have a two-minute noodle equivalent, I have those like pho noodles, like the rice noodles in a little thing. Yeah. And then you sup up the broth.

Rich. Sup. Yeah, she's rich. Thank you. They're like $1.29 each. I'm happy to buy a few at a time. Guess I'm doing quite well. Anyway, so then the comments section was just flooded.

People were like, oh, no, you don't do this soggy, watery-ass chicken broth. And the other people were like, no, you've got to have the broth. Well, we asked for a little poll. Yep. Do you do it? Do you drain it out? And do you leave the broth in? And the results are that 73% of people drain the water first.

Oh, okay. 27% keep the water in for a brothy experience. Jack said, Drain half of it out so you still get the flavor on the nudes, but also get a little treat of spicy soup at the end. Let's get slurpy. He's talking spicy mega ring, I bet. But it sounds like he's putting in the flavouring

right at the start. He should be putting it in, drain half the liquid, then put the flavour in. No, then that's when he's putting the flavour in. He's not draining the delicious liquid.

He loves the spicy soup at the end. I hope so. Dan says, Maggi Oriental, the best, as it's so vague about what flavour

it's trying to be. Is it a sweet and sour? I remember sweet and sour. That was tangy. That was yum. After school days. I don't know if they do that anymore. That probably had illegal chemicals in it.

But they do. He drains it completely, then adds the flavour. An endomegaring is mostly drained, but still needs some of the sauciness. Oh, okay. George said cook two packets at a time flavouring in the water

when cooking and then use the other when drained. So he's going two packets of noodles with one packet having water in it and then adding it

so he's getting one infusing and then one actively. He's draining half the water but he's keeping all the flavour. Right. Okay.

It's an interesting technique. Jorge. Too involved. Very involved. Because you've got to have two pots then. Oh, my God. Or two bowls. Alicia says drain and then add flavor because it's more flavor per milliliter.

Yeah. Good call. When you end up draining it. Yeah. Okay. We've got some culinary experts. Is anyone just eating it like a biscuit slab? Surely not anymore.

Okay. I like a little noodley soupy soup, says Shay. So I'm imagining they're not draining. Not draining. It's like Maggi noodles. I like the water as in I like the soup. Yeah, yum. Okay.

Plus it's just always how I've had them since I was a kid. We are creatures of habit. We are. They're noodles not a soup says Lisa you've got to drain them that's not grumpy Lisa

by the way felt grumpy it did feel a little grumpy you know a little tended a little bit more towards grump didn't it yeah

you cook them until the water is fully absorbed that's like you this is me that's the best way to have the noodles sort of more like a two to ten minute noodle

yeah yeah no I think my Maggi two minute noodles are more like Maggi ten minute noodles, but worth it because yum. Fully absorbed, water logged noodles. And then flavor right at the last minute. Taking the dumpling way on board, you did that,

boiled it off, and then had oil in there so you could give them a little bit of a pan fry. Get a little crisp. A little crisp to the noodles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of thinking you're going back to how the noodles started though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But cooked in oil. Yum. Yeah, maybe actually. That's like saying the potato and then add some meat. The fry is like going back to how the potato started

except now it's cooked in oil. True. Same hardness. Everything is better fried. Yeah, actually. That's a fact of life. Stories are coming out, of course. Lovely stories about Matthew Perry and who he was as a person, an actor, a friend.

And someone has shared an interesting story. An actor called Lisa Cash, who, I don't know, I've never heard of Lisa Cash. No, neither. But she was set to play a role in Friends. I'm going to IMDB Lisa Cash. Yeah, please do. Let me know what's happened. So she was set to play a hotel worker in Las Vegas on the show Friends.

Okay. And as the storyline went, she was going to have a fling or a one night stand with Chandler. And Chandler in this scene was mad at Monica. They were together. Yeah. That Monica had had lunch with Richard, who was played by Tom Selleck.

Right. And so Cash was, sorry, the character that Lisa Cash was supposed to be playing came in as a hotel worker and then Matthew Perry's character Chandler was so upset that they were to sleep together. So this actress, Lisa, had rehearsed this whole scene for days and days and days.

And then on the day that it was going to be shot, an AD, an assistant director, came to her and said, I'm so sorry, that scene and therefore your role has been cut. And she was like, oh no, like here's my chance to be on Friends. At that point, it had already been very well established as a great show. Oh yeah, the biggest show in the world. Yeah. You'd be gutted.

So apparently Matthew Perry was like, we can't do it. Because he thought that the audience would never, ever, ever forgive Chandler for cheating on Monica. They wouldn't. They wouldn't. Like you can't even imagine that happening now. Monica and Chandler were just like, it was the best, most beautiful relationship.

We loved it. And that would have soiled it so much. So he was the one who said, I won't do it. We just can't. It's going to take Chandler from the guy we love, this silly, loving boy, to our bad boy. She did get to play an air hostess on Friends. Oh, okay.

I don't know if this would, this probably would have been before because when did Monica and Chandler get together? The last like three seasons? Yeah. So 1999, so it ended in 2004. In 1999, she played a flight attendant. Oh, okay. On a flight where Ross and Rachel were on a flight.

I don't know where they were going. No, this was the same season. So season five, they were already together. Oh, okay. Friends still use was the same season. So season five, they were already together. Oh, okay. Friends still use Cash in that season five episode, the one in Vegas, part one. As a flight attendant. Such a good episode.

Yeah. As a flight attendant. Oh, wow, okay. In 1999. So there you go. So she's still got to be on Friends. She's still got to be in it, but not the character that would have sort of broken up

Chandler and Monica or done something unforgivable. That would have just, yeah. You just cannot imagine that being part of Friends, that kind of storyline. We love Rachel and Ross, and we love Chandler and Monica. And we can't have anything... I mean, there was the famous break. But they were on a break.

They were on a break. They were on a break, so it's different. Monica and Chandler weren't on a break. But there was never, like, cheating, right? Yeah, it would have just been cheating. So there you go. His integrity for his character prevailed. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. A baby called Brisbane. A big, yeah, parties. So, yeah, as I said just previously, these two look extremely punishing. Are they influencers? Family bloggers. What do they describe themselves as?

Family bloggers from Nashville, Tennessee, Rachel and Jordan. There would be loads of kids named Sydney after the capital of Australia. No, Sydney was a name because it was named after somebody. Oh, yeah, it was. Sydney was named after somebody. Long time, no. Canberra, no babies called Canberra. That's the capital.

I haven't met her. Well, that's what it says. It's the Australian capital city, Brisbane. It's not. Is it even the state capital? It would be the state capital, yeah. It wouldn't be the... Might be the Galdi.

I don't know how it works. The Galdi should be the capital of Australia. It should be the state capital of Australia. Goldie is a cute name. Goldie. For a dog. No. A golden retriever.

Surfers. Would you call it your kids' surfers? Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling.

Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. Cooling. You're going into bloody...

You're going into New South Wales now. Even people in Brisbane were like, what's he do that for? So the three babies' names were Wilder Scott, Lachlan James, Lachlan spelt wrong, and Brisbane Lee. And people are like, what are you calling your baby Brizzy for? That would be a cool nickname because we all call Brisbane Brizzy anyway. Brizzy. Go to Brizzy.

Yeah. So I have compiled the top six New Zealand place names that wouldn't be great baby names. Okay. Number six on the list, Bunny Thorpe. That's just out of Palmy, isn't it? What a strange name. Yeah, Bunny Thorpe. Bunny Thorpe.

But then Bunny would be your nickname, but then that sounds like you. If you're a female, that would be guys. Oh, Bunny's cute as a name. Hey, Bunny. Yeah. Hey, little Bunny. Number four on the list of the, I've just got to Google.

Number four? No, sorry, number five. Yeah, don't shortchange us. I was trying to make less work for myself. The farming settlement just out of Southland, New Zealand, in Southland, New Zealand, 10 kilometres west of the Aparima River, a bad baby name would be Gummies Bush. Gummies Bush.

Gummies Bush. Gummies Bush. I'd like to go to Gummies Bush. Gummies Bush Sprout. Is it? Okay. It is said to be named after a whaler and later a pig farmer, James Leder, nicknamed Gummy because he had no teeth.

Oh, my God. Of course he didn't. Gummies Bush. Number four on the list of the top six New Zealand place names that wouldn't be great baby names. Barry Town. Barry. Where's Barry Town? Barry Town's in South Island.

It's on the west coast of the South Island. Barry Town. Yeah. It is on State Highway 6. Named after Barry? I would say named after a Barry. Bring back the name Barry. Barry for a baby.

I've got a friend with a kid called Barry. It's quite cute. Yeah. What is Barry? And then Baz is the nickname you go for. Yeah. But Barry itself is a nickname, isn't it? It feels like Barry is shortened.

Barry Thornley. Barry is a gender neutral name of Irish origin It's the Anglicized But Heath's son is Barry While traditionally he uses a boy's name Barry he can also be a sweet choice for girls

Little Barry I always thought Barry must have been short for something No Not all short words are short for things Dude that's deep I mean, that's a lot deeper than you thought it was going to be The word that is a shortened word From?

The melemalips The melemalips The melemalips Yeah Show me the melemalips That's Greek, isn't it? Yeah Show me the teeth

Yeah, anything with lips on the end is probably Greek The melemalips Number three on the list of the New Zealand place names that wouldn't be great for baby names, the town of Ross. Oh, wow. You think Ross is a bad name? You just better hope Ross Boss isn't listening.

No, he's sick. He's poorly obviously. And in great news, two meetings have been cancelled. Oh, what a day. It's brunch. Let's smoke a cigarette to celebrate. I don't even smoke cigarettes. Number two. God damn it.

I clicked out of my thing because I clicked on the email cancelled meetings because I was excited. Number two on the list of the top six New Zealand place names that wouldn't make great baby names. Naseby. Yeah, Naseby's not great. Little baby Nase. Naseby. Although we've got a friend called Nae. We've got a friend called Nae, don't we? Naseby's not great. Little baby Nase. Naseby. Although we've got a friend called Nae. We've got a friend called Nae, don't we?

Naseby. Hi, Naseby. And number one on the list of the top six New Zealand place names that wouldn't make great baby names, Thames. But mostly because people would be constantly calling them Fames. Fames, yeah.

Because they're familiar with James and the name territory. Thames. Baby Thames. Baby Thames. Thames, yeah. Baby Thames. I listened to

a kind of O'Brien's podcast and he talks to people that listen to the podcast around the world and he talked to a young lady who lived just out of Thames. What did he? And he was talking to her

and he was like, so I said, where are you from in New Zealand? And she said, Thames. And he was like, Thames. Oh yeah, I saw it. And he's like, no, she's like,

no, Thames. And he's like, yeah, I understand. T-I-M-S, Thames. Like in Britain. Like the it. And he's like, no, she's like, no, Tims. And he's like, yeah, I understand, T-I-M-S, Tims. Like in Britain. Like the river. And he's like, it was just a great loss. I've never even thought about Tims sounding like Tims to everybody else. I'm going to go down to Tums.

I'm the current Mundell. That is today's top six. 16 past seven. Coming up on the show, we've got your chance to win. You've got to be listening out for Roo's Weeping, sorry, for Roo's Whistle to get on the reaping list.

They made me go to the Hunger Games. I don't want to play. So listen out for the whistle. Go in the draw to get to an all expenses paid premiere in Auckland. Plus we've got tickets to the Hunger Games, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes,

only in cinemas November 16. It's going to happen in the next 15 minutes. But next. There is a man who put something away in the kitchen and it caused a real kerfuffle because he didn't know where it went. And it's really got me thinking about my own fiance, Aaron, and his relationship to our kitchen.

Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A woman on TikTok filmed her having an argument with her husband because she cannot, for the life of her, for one whole year find her pizza cutter. And it's pizza knife. So she's like, where's the pizza cutter? The thing with the roll.

Yeah, you can't cut it with a knife. Yeah, you just roll the knife. What about those, you know when you see them cut a pizza at like a pizzeria? The double handle. Yeah, those are cool. I've got a mini one of those for herbs. Oh my God, they look so much fun. I mean, I'd never use it, but they look fun.

Yeah, I'd cut my arm off and then be like, whoopsie doopsie doodle. Anyway, she ends up finding it a year later in the wrong drawer. And she's like, you don't know, this is where it goes. And the husband's like, I don't know. You're telling me there was a year where she didn't go into that drawer? Yeah, well, when she went into that drawer that she found it in, she wasn't looking for the pizza cutter, so she wouldn't have seen it. I imagine it's one of those messy ass drawers, you know, when... It's the drawer that every time you shut, you have have seen it. I imagine it's one of those messy-ass drawers, you know, when...

It's the drawer that every time you shut, you have to shake it so everything settles a little bit so it'll go in. Yeah, the utensil drawer. Yeah. Yeah, and she's like, you don't know where anything goes. I was like, yes, I do. And I was like, oh, my God, this is Aaron. But since we've had our new kitchen installed,

like, I decided where everything went. Yeah. But when it was all done, I said to the kitchen designers, our friends Jake and Casey, I said, this is what we need here. We want drawers here. We want corner cupboards here. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

And then they designed it. And I said, yes, yes, yes. And in my head, I was like, cool, that cupboard's for that. That's for that. That's for that. Did you ask Aaron his opinion even though you wouldn't have taken anything on board anyway?

No, I didn't bother. What a waste of breath. Yeah, that's nice of you. This is my space. But don't ask if you don't care. It's board anyway? No, I didn't bother. Yeah, that's nice of you. This is my space. But don't ask if you don't care. It's my opinion when it comes to any home decorating. You get asked but then just overriding. Overridden every time, Your Honour.

Overridden? Overruled. Overruled, overridden. Anyway, and then when we moved into the kitchen, I put everything everywhere and I knew exactly where it went. I know which corner cupboard is for baking and which corner cupboard is for cooking. Which drawer is for this, which drawer is for that, which utensil thing goes here.

It's all compartmentalised. There's no crossover with baking and cooking? No, no, one's for baking, one's for cooking. Did you not hear me, sir? One is for cooking. But there may be ingredients in the cooking cupboard that could be used. I don't think she's talking ingredients, she's talking implements. Implements. Implements.

Yeah, I'm talking your appliances, your cake tins, your sieves, your graces, your pots and pans, your silicon bake trays. I don't have any. I use metal. You don't have silicon bake trays. I'm so embarrassed. I know. I'm so embarrassed. I'm going to scrape up my stuff. I wouldn't have picked you for a silicon bake tray. I would have picked you for a tin.

Yeah, like retro. They're aesthetic. Yeah, retro tin. The pink is the pink and the blue. They are ghastly. Ghastly. And then they get weird little grease marks and stuff on them. But man, they're all for just tipping stuff out of.

Oh my God, so good. I know. Silicon's the best. And easier half-assed. Aesthetics though. But Aaron doesn't know his way around our kitchen at all. So has he just been putting stuff back in the wrong places? Yeah

Shoves it anywhere or just leaves it on the bench Your oven tray Can I ask you both a question? If I may approach the bench Do your oven trays And like the big roasting pans Do they live in the oven? Yes

I was sent a meme by friend James Who when he was looking after my apartment And like the big roasting pans and stuff, do they live in the oven? Yes. Okay, that's okay. I was sent a meme by a friend, James, who when he was looking after my apartment and wanted to use the oven, the meme is like someone taking out every oven tray, muffin tray, cooking tray. I've got a ruler in one big pile and you pull them out and put them on the bench

and pick which one you want to use. Our oven's got a drawer as part of it. It's a six burner and it slides out. Most of them go in there, but the big ones in the oven. Yeah, good, good, good. There's no drawer or cupboard big enough for oven drawers. No, if you're playing with that sort of real estate,

well done to you. But yeah, we've got like a big kitchen and even we've got a bit to this pantry. There's simply no room in the cupboards for those giant, giant oven dishes. Nasty pans. Okay, I'm glad. Do you ever get in trouble for simply no room in the cupboards for those giant, giant oven dishes. Nasty pans. Okay, I'm glad. Do you ever get in trouble for putting stuff back in the wrong place

or do you know where everything goes? I don't care. Like, find it. Like, look for it. This is what I'm saying. It's ridiculous that someone lost a pizza cutter and just didn't check every drawer in the kitchen for it, as I frantically do when I'm looking for anything.

But I've lost... So Aaron had a bottle of Prosecco from the wall. Oh, I need to get some more of ZMD again. I thought you said he had a bottle of Prosecco from the war and I was like, he wasn't in the war. From his days in the war. Yeah. And he was hiding it from you because you thought you'd drink that.

Honey, I'm home from the war and you'll never guess what I brought with me. Prosecco. A bottle of French Prosecco. Oh, as an Italian. Italian. Italian Prosecco. No, he French Prosecco. Oh, as an Italian. Italian. Italian Prosecco. No, he drank Prosecco but didn't finish the bottle

and it was in the fridge and it was just open and we've got one of those like brass cap things you put it on to seal it. To seal it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just pop a teaspoon in it.

No, that doesn't, it's a myth. It doesn't work at all. I love how I forget to taste it. But that sort of way for years. And then we've lost it and I was like, where did you put it? And he was like, I don't know. And. I live off a good tester, don't I? But they sort of wear you for years. And then we've lost it.

And I was like, where did you put it? And he was like, I don't know. And then I just can't. And so now just bottle after bottle is going flat. That's why you've got to finish it. This happened to producer, Jared. You were in trouble for a while because you put something back in the wrong place. Yeah, the bread maker measuring jug.

Where did you put it? I put it in the plastic straw because it's made of plastic. Oh, it should go in the plastic straw. No, no, no, no, no. Because apparently there's a measuring jug drawer. Oh. There is a measuring jug drawer actually regardless of material it's made of. How many measuring jugs do you have?

Well, we've got one like glass one. Pirates. Yeah, and then we've got three different side plastic ones. Yeah. And then we've got the bread maker one. God, you measure a lot of liquid, don't you? Yeah. A lot of dries

dries and liquids actually oh yeah fair call well there you go I mean I'm at war I mean everybody's

constantly at war with their plastics drawer I assume oh my god lids and stuff ours is a cupboard and I just I am running

I'm running a tight shit on plastics at the moment are you I'm running a every time I open the drawer I put it all everything back all together and so I'm doing it every timeix at the moment. Are you? I'm running a, every time I open the drawer, I put it all, everything back all together. And so I'm doing it every time.

So it's a lot less work than having to pull them all out and play the sorting game on the bench. You're such a mystery because in some things in life, you're just an absolute hot mess. And then like your plastics drawer, you're like,

I'm really going to make an effort with this. What about everything else? What about just everything else? Like being on time I am on time His time is just His on time is just a different time to ours I'm on warm time baby

I'm so close to having a shower That it's not funny The tiles are in, they're grouted. I just need to get the silicone done and a couple of tiles replaced, plumber back, and we're good. You're like, what, a week away? Something like that. Oh, that's exciting.

Because then she can stop leeching off us. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do. I either shower at the gym or I shower at Fletcher's or I shower. Sometimes I sneak into Aaron's gym. Except it at Fletcher's or I shower. Sometimes I sneak into Aaron's gym. I sneak into Vaughan's gym as well. Right, okay.

I haven't done that for a while because I felt bad. But I do what I do to keep clean. I shower at work quite a bit. Yep. Anyway, the other day we were heading off to our Halloween party. And I arrived and hadn't showered. I'd been painting. I literally arrived in my paint gear,

like paint shorts, paint top, paint shoes and was like, I'm going to go straight into the shower before I even have an aperitif. Also, you are the only person I know that has painting Birkenstocks. That was unintentional. Like you have su painting Birkenstocks. That was unintentional.

Like you have suede Birkenstocks and they are covered in paint drops. I didn't mean to. I just was painting one day and then just looked down and was like, damn it, I'm still wearing them. And because they're suede. I always get that with the jeans or so. I'll go outside and it'll be like, oh, now that's a reverse mistake. They're work jeans now. Yeah.

We do them all the time. I know. And I don't have nice Birkenstocks now. Those are the Birkenstocks. Those are your, yeah. I've been wearing them to work and they're just covered in paint. Yeah. Anyway, and when I said, I'm just going to pop into the shower quickly before my Aperol

spritz, you said, I've left a little treat in there for you. There's a little treat in there. And I went, ooh, excited. And of course, your mind goes straight to alcohol. I thought it might have been like a little Aperol Spritz in the shower or something fun. I didn't even think about that, but yeah. Well, I did once have a show at your house

and I opened the door and there was an Aperol Spritz waiting at the door. Yeah. Now that was a nice move, actually. But what was there was I, so can I, I just need to paint the picture because you've got such a nice move actually But what was there was Can I just need to paint the picture Because you've got such a nice bathroom The hues are black and white It's just like

Black tiles on the walls Nice white It's just like really a nice elegant bathroom And my Bougie soap that's filled up with cheap refill My Aesop bottles Aesop soap filled with orange palm. Bougie. My Aesop bottles with real cheap. Aesop soap filled with orange palmolive.

Palmolive, yeah. That's the aesthetic, babes. Yeah, and he's got black floor mats and black towels, and you go into this little cupboard and all the black towels are there. It's a thing. And I like showering in it. It's a lovely experience. Thank you.

My compliments to the chef. Thank you. In the shower, in this all black shower. The mirror is so good in the bathroom. I feel like you didn't talk about the mirror. It's got its own ring light. Which one? It's heated so that it never fogs up.

It's such a draw card that people will take their dating app photos in it. We've talked about this. Yes, we have. We've all done one. Vaughn did one a little bit tousled the other night. I had salami for nipples, which was greasy afterwards. I'm thinking about doing a calendar of everybody that's taken it. Sade's making it. Is she?

Yes. Oh, my God. Wait, but I wanted to do that, but then I was scared about getting it printed out at, like, warehouse stationery, because they might look at our topless photos. That's interesting. Maybe we'll print it here on the big printer.

That's where actually we'll go up to the Herald and get a great idea. Get it printed A3. Anyway, I walk into this delicious bathroom, the all black shower, and to greet me as my little surprise. You are so ungrateful. I will say it now. A litre bottle of pink glittery. It's snow fairy season.

Snow fairy lush body wash. Now, the girlies will back me up on this if you were using my shower and there's lush snow fairy

in there because it's that season you'd be so stoked epic it's the best scent

it's the best thing they have how would you describe haven't you ever smelt this bubble gum

oh no and it's like shimmery and sweet it's so popular that they have a pop-up store for it most years. So I feel like it was a few years ago, a friend was staying and just left it in the shower. And I was like, what's this?

And I tried it and I was like, oh, my God, this is so great. Don't get me wrong, I love Lush. I walked past and I saw it was back on sale. And I was like, I'm just going to get some and put it in the shower. For when people come over. And it's such a great smell. It's an eyesore in the shower i don't get me wrong i love pink i love lash i love this sense but this is a baby bubble gum

flavored so great scented thing with glitter and it's bright pink it's got glitter in it they do a candle they do a candle i should have got the candle like every possible product they have you can get the scent in it like bath bath bombs, body spray, everything. It's good stuff. Lip balm. It's just not the vibe one. I'm now banning Hayley from using my shower. And if you two ever need a shower in the city, you're absolutely welcome.

I've used it and it was nice. Yeah, and didn't you have the most magical experience of your life? Yeah. No, I just felt like a baby, like a child. I love when... You love a lush bath bomb. I love a bath bomb. You love a bath bomb.

Don't get me wrong. Lush I can trust with my delicate vaginal pH balance as well. Yes, because you're sitting right on a seven. Boy, I am... I'm swimming pool perfect.

I didn't know that you were a seven. I do not sting the eyes. No, he doesn't sting the eyes. My pH is exactly the same as your eyes. Yeah. So I've got to balance that. I've seven. I do not sting the eyes. No, he doesn't sting the eyes. My pH is exactly the same as your eyes. Yeah. So I've got to balance that.

I've got to take care of it. Yeah. But I love when, like, my dad's a good example. He's a farmer and he's like a man's man. He's probably a harsh five on the pH. He's a harsh, he's an alkali, he's a very alkali boy. Yeah. But he'll, like, use the shower that the girls use at our house

and they've got this stuff. He'll come out and you'll be like, that smell does not match the man. I love when a guy, because guys will just use whatever's there. You say, oh yeah, that's right, I'll bloody use that. And they come out and you're like, I'm not expecting you to smell like a snow fairy.

Are you saying, am I a snow fairy? You're a big snow fairy energy. Thank you. You could use, you could spray on a bit of Marc Jacobs Daisy Snow fairy? Are you saying, am I a snow fairy? You're a big snow fairy energy. I'm a big thank you. Thank you. You could use, you could sprout a bit of Marc Jacobs Daisy and you'd be, no one would even bat an eyelid. It's an interesting choice from you. Well, knowing how you live and knowing how Hayley lives,

I expect her to have a muskier scent than you. Yes, me too. You are the snow fairy. Thank you. And I'm the musky man. Now, a couple of firefighter EMTs. So, paramedics. But they work for the fire department because it's the US and everything's a bit cooked.

Yeah, like you call an ambulance and then the fire department turn up. They have their own ambulance. But hot though, eh? That's hot, man. That's hot. So do you think that's why they did it? They're not like sometimes paramedics, sometimes firefighters.

I think they are full-time paramedics that work for the fire department. But can they put out a fire at a stretch? If they've got a garden hose. Okay, good to know. I suppose we all could if we had a garden hose. Okay, good to know. I suppose we all could if we had a garden hose. Two of them have been laid off because on the way to an emergency call where a woman was suffering

extreme chest pains, they stopped for fast food on the way because they was hungry. Can't work on an empty stomach. Yeah. I mean, it's not, it's chest pains. It's not, is that category one emergency?

Ambulance three was assigned to the call because it was closer than a medic unit. So it went on the way, they said, but we just were hungry. So we stopped because there was no delay in patient care or response. Apparently there's no line at the drive-thru. Right. It's still a delay, though. Hi, can I please have the do-do-do-do-do? Yeah.

And then they're like, we'll drive through the next window. And then can you just go and do-do-do-do-do? Yeah. And then they're like, drive through the next window. And then can you just go and park in park one because it's not quite ready yet. Yeah, because you've asked for your Filet-O-Fish to be, you know, extra steamed or something. Yeah, yum, yum. Yum. Yum.

So. That's what I'm going to eat tomorrow after my colonoscopy Filet-O-Fish. A little treat. Just have that at the end of the tunnel. Don't talk about my tunnel. It's the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't talk about my tunnel. It's the light at the end of your tunnel.

Saw tunnel. No, the light goes up the tunnel. Yeah, the light. This would be me if I worked in this kind of job. I'd be like, well, there's no point

in me going hangry and hungry and treating this patient. I better just get some food. Yeah, because you'd get there and you'd be like, what's wrong? And the woman's like, I've got chest pains.

And you're like, we've all got things going on. Yeah, and I've got an empty stomach. Yeah, I'm starving. I'm literally starving. Well, your heart sore, my stomach sore. And that's an organ as well. Yeah.

So the firefighter EMT that was driving has been fired. Right. The other one has to face their own because they technically weren't in charge of the vehicle so it needs to be

a separate trial. Oh, okay. Help, I'm captive. Oh no, you're going to take me to get burgers. Yeah, yeah. Oh no,

I'm being forced to eat it as well. I'm an innocent bystander. We want to know this morning what you get away with on work time. Yeah, love that.

What are you doing on the company dime? Because I had a friend that's not work related. When he was working in an office, love that. Like, what are you doing on the company dime? That's not work related. When he was working in an office, a big giant office, had a cubicle, and so you couldn't see the desk because I guess their screen and stuff was to the wall, and he just

watched Netflix for like hours every day at work, and I was like, how do you get away with that? I had a friend who worked a hotel reception overnight and she did a, what do you call it? Like a degree online. Got a degree.

Got paid to do a degree basically. I like that. And then every now and again have to let someone that had accidentally locked themselves naked out in their room. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Because that happens at hotels, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Not to me. I mean, you could also probably get away with napping if you were the hotel overnight manager, right? Absolutely. Like, just go in

an empty room with the phone on call. Oh my god. Whenever we get to work, we get to work very early, and I see the security guard, and he our security guards finish their night shift an hour after we get here. Yeah. And I'm always like, how are you awake? Like, just have a little nap. There's a couch over there. Yeah, yeah, do.

Just have a little nunez. Yeah, because if anybody needs to be let in and it goes ding, ding, ding, that's just an alarm and then just sleep under the desk and put your hand up and push the button. You don't need to check who it is. Yeah, but it's that one time you go to sleep that Al-Qaeda hits, you know? Yeah, probably. You've got to be ready. Al-Qaeda's coming.

Thanks, there goes my nap today. 0800 dials at MSN number. We want you to give us a call. You can text through 9696. What do you get away with on work time? Yeah. What are you doing on the cut? Maybe it's a nap.

Maybe it's a little project. Yeah, little project. Whatever it is, give us a call. A paramedic in the US has been fired after stopping at the drive-thru on the way to a call-out. It's honestly outrageous. Like, what goes through your head where you're like,

oh, God, we should just pull in, come on. I mean, we're here, we're hungry. She's having chest pains. Yeah. So we want to know this morning what you get away with on work time. Maybe it's a little side hustle. Maybe it's watching Netflix at work. Maybe it's napping.

Maybe having a little lovemaking. Greg, this was your dad back in the day. Yeah, back in the day, pre the police being, sorry, traffic being done by the police, he was a Ministry of Transport traffic officer. And this one night shift, he shows

up to work with a new partner for the night. And they get about halfway through the night shift and he says, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I've just got to take care of something. And it must be an emergency services thing, because he goes around to the boot of the patrol car, and it was filled with property pressers, and they proceeded to spend the rest of the shift

wandering around delivering property pressers in the neighbourhood while they were up. Oh, my God! So, a bit of a secondary income. Yeah, 100%. 100%. Delivering circulars. Yeah, doing a circular run. Wow. Well, of course, there's no%. Oh, wow. They're doing circulars. Yeah, doing a circular run.

Wow. Fantastic. Well, of course, there's no need for those nowadays. You can go to oneroof.co.nz and find out all the information you can ever require on property for sale. Oh, we used to get the property press all the time, but thank God for One Roof. Greg, thank you. That's so cheeky.

You would never get away with that now. That's so funny. No way. Asking what you get away with on work time. Mm-hmm. that now. That's so funny. Asking what you get away with on work time. Some paramedics were fired after going through the drive-thru on the way to a call. The boss and I did NFL fantasy draft. Every afternoon from two was designated NFL fantasy draft time.

It's just morale team building though, right? Yeah. Any calls that came in after two became the day after's problem. We'd try to get all of our work done before two so we could spend the afternoon doing draft. Would that be from two till five on NFL drafting? I don't know. That's a long time to be out. I know you can lose a lot of time to those fantasy league games.

Jess, what do you get away with on work time? I actually managed to plan lots of my wedding while I was at work. Yeah, honestly, I'd be doing the same. Laptop open, one tab on the work, 20 tabs on the wedding. Oh, definitely, exactly that. Wow. So how much, if you had to put an hour's value on wedding planning, how much do you reckon you got away with?

Ooh, that's a good question. Yeah. Wedding planning. How much do you reckon you got away with? Ooh. Question. I probably spend probably a good month. I sort of work sort of five hours a day. I love that. I love that. I love that. That's good from you. Yeah, it's smart.

It's just smart. Some messages in. Are you normally going to go shopping with spare time, but recently have been busted because of the parking tickets? Literally looking at green towels right now. Green towels?

But I'm here. Don't you think there's too much with your bathroom it's already all green? Yeah what colour would you go though? White.

Yeah I wouldn't go white. I know exactly I don't want white. It's green. Good you kind of have to go green don't you? I've kind of got to

go green thank you I've been through this in my head already. You've got green tiles. Maybe you've got brass fittings could you go

brass like a mustard towel? Yeah I thought about it. Maybe you've got brass fittings. Could you go brass, like a mustard towel? Yeah, I thought about it. I thought about it. But you've screwed yourself there, haven't you? I have screwed. It's green on green. It's green. And then if that green's not perfect, oh wow.

That's why. I've been buying a face cloth of lots of different green. Oh, like a fabric sample. Because it's not like you won't use them. Real first world problem. I hope you're okay. I've received some thoughts and prayers. A couple of T's and P's heading your way as soon as we're done with this. not like you won't use them. Real first world problem. I hope you're okay. I haven't received some thoughts and prayers.

A couple of T's and P's heading your way as soon as we're done with this. Just pray for me to choose the right grain to stuff it up. Thank you so much everyone. My colleague used to play

online roulette and watch movies at the same time. Got snapped. Didn't stop him. Oh really? You've got to be careful when you're on the work internet.

Like for example your towel shopping is showing up some red lights upstairs. Yeah, who's looking at it? The towel light's on. The towel light's on. Yeah, we could just say

after eight, we're talking about towels. I mean, we've talked about towels enough, I think, to warrant that as a content piece. Yeah. Man, they could almost be tax deductible, these towels.

Is that what you're saying? I think so. They sound like a work expense to me. So, there comes, around about this time every year, the girlie, it's been a long winter, you know, we've been wrapped up and wearing our Doc Martens and our sneakers and our boots and our gum boots and whatnot. And there comes a time that you have to face the feet.

It's time to get the dogs out. Now, you know that I have been soft launching back into my Birkenstocks as of late. With the paint on them. Yeah. And what thankfully you guys haven't noticed too much, I hope, was the side of my toes. Wait, no, is it Vaughan that has like translucent feet? Yeah, dude.

Yeah, Vaughan's got. Your feet are so white. How are they so white? Well, they just don't see sun over winter. But they don't even get pink. They're just white. They're like, you know when you leave a plaster on for like three or four days and your skin goes white?

I'm just a white individual. They're so white. They're so white. They're white underneath as well. You've got little soft feet. I thought you were a hardworking boy. I do. What do you want from me? Cracked heels.

Yeah. You want cracked heels? I want cracked heels. I think in the summer I get a bit more cracked heel. It spends a bit more time in the air. Drives out a little bit, right. They're soft because I always wear a thick sock. Whenever I get home,

I always immediately put on a lovely big thick boot sock. You need some vitamin D on those feet, I think. Yeah, you do. You need something on them. Get them out in the sun. Yeah, but when am I going to... I just don't find myself in the sun with occasion where barefoot would be an acceptable thing.

I'm mowing lawns or I'm doing yard work. This is no time to be barefoot. You'll lose a toe. Sit down on the deck and just appreciate the sun and life. Just take a moment. Yeah, I agree. Because your translucent feet are freaking everywhere. Yeah, the dogs shouldn't be that clear.

You think these almost opaque dogs are not what the people want? Yeah, no. People want a brown dog? Yeah, a little bit. A bit of texture or something. Something to grit. I like my dogs looking like little jellyfish. Yeah, a little bit. A bit of texture or something. Something to grit. I like my dogs looking like little jellyfish. Yeah, right.

Well, the other day, because I hosted an event for Cure Kids and I wore high heels for the first time in ages. Are you going on about your charity work again? Pause for applause. And I had to get my high heels and I was like, shoot, I've got some skanky old skerricks of nail polish.

This is what happens to the woman's feet over winter. Skerricks of nail polish on the toes. Just bits, you know, because it'll come off and they look rough. Patches, patches. Yeah, so I couldn't find nail polish remover and I didn't have time to go get a nail polish to just paint straight over them. So all I found was a nail file in my bag.

So I just sort of filed them down. It was rough. But I got it off and I was like, man it's time. Like there's always the first pedicure of the year when you're getting ready for summer. And I was like, right, I'm gonna go. And then yesterday I had a break between appointments and I

went to the mall. I went to the mall. I went to St. Luke's. For me, it's just nice and cosy. It's low-key. It doesn't have the hustle and bustle of your bigger malls. It used to be the biggest mall. Yeah, I know, but now Newmarket. Is it still the biggest?

Is it still the biggest? No, no, no. Newmarket. No, no, no. Enormous. Newmarket's bigger. Sylvia Park. Sylvia Park.

Albany, Albany. Yeah, but sometimes you think just because a mall's long and skinny, it might not have the girth of the other malls. No, but sometimes you think just because a mall's long and skinny, it might not have the girth of the other malls. No, St. Luke's is quite small. Anyway, and because I was doing, I had to eat a low-fibre diet yesterday. I was starving Marvin.

Because you're doing your colonoscopy. Oh my God, I've got gurgles in my tummy just then. I got a bun from the supermarket in like a plastic bag and I was trying to quickly eat that before I got this pedicure. And I was walking around farmers having a look at their homewares, just sort of fingering a white bun from a plastic bag in corners of farmers. So apologies to those that saw me.

It's not a bottle, not a can of booze. You can eat a bun in a department store. Yeah, I know, but it just felt weird. It felt odd. Yeah, okay. Homewares would be fine to scoff a bun with a googly tum, but if you're in the lingerie section, you've got a rumbly tum. Yeah, no.

And you're scoffing a bun. It's a bit weird. Anyway, I finally, I worked up the guts to take the dogs into the nail place downstairs. And I got in there and then she got started. I put my feet in the bath and your massage chair going I was like this is great I've got an hour to my next appointment I can just enjoy this and just start feeling a little bit better about myself then they do this thing where

they um they'll either like cut your nails or they'll file them a bit and then they start cutting all the cuticles away and then they sort of have a little bit of a dig if you, you know, get stuff in the side and whatnot and she was, I've always had like kind of dry feet. This is really pain to get. I think the sexual DMs

are going to stop after this break. People are going to be like, send us a photo or I'll be the judge of this. No, because I've always got, I've always had quite dry feet

and they sort of accumulate and I remember once a woman, I was getting a pedicure and she told me off, she snapped me on the foot. She was like, you need to come do this more. And I was like, okay. And then at one point I was on my phone and I heard the woman sort of audibly groan.

Like, ugh. And they see some things. Yeah, they see some things. Yeah, they see the mankiest of feet. Yeah, she was like, ugh. And it really took a lot. Yesterday was, your foot was the mankiest foot she saw yesterday. Yeah, I think so. Maybe not see the mankiest of feet. Yeah, she was like, oh, and it really took a lot. Yesterday was quite a while. Your foot was the mankiest foot she saw yesterday.

Yeah, I think so. Maybe not of the week, but maybe. It could be of the week, could be of the month. If I worked at this place, I'd take photos on the down low and the staff from Marine Land would have like naughty penguin and good penguin. I'd be like, this is the best foot of the week and the mankiest foot of the week.

Yeah, well, she definitely let out a couple of exclaims. Yeah, exclamations doing my hooves. But I will say they look great now. She did a good job in the end. Right. She was massaging my foot. So I almost felt like at the end when you go through something that bad, do you apologise at the end?

Should I have said, like, thank you so much, they look great, and, like, sorry about the state they were in? Sorry about that. I mean, yeah, it could have been worse. It could have been the state they were in sorry about that I mean yeah it could have been worse it could have been the gynecologist letting out that groan

oh sorry yep all looking healthy all looking good I did it yesterday though after I went to my other appointment

afterwards it was the doctors quickly there about my ear sore ear sore ear going out the door going out the door

going out the door oh Hayley you're overdue for a pap smear. No, I'm not. I don't think I am. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. PSA.

Do you meself now. So good. If you've been putting off a pap smear because you don't want to get the whole thing. They just give you a swab, pop to the bathroom, pop it in the thing. So you go to the doctors. So you still have to do it at the doctors.

Okay. But I think they're working towards doing at-home kits. Right. Don't put it off. Is there instructions? The instruction is put it up your vagina and then put it in the doctors. Okay. But I think they're working towards doing at-home kits. Right. Don't put it on. Is there instructions? The instruction is put it up your vagina and then put it in the thing. When do you stop?

Once you get a swivel. It's just like a little, it's like a... Like a COVID test. We all saw people doing COVID tests wrong. Yeah, true. They're like, I don't have COVID. You're like, you rubbed it around the rim. You don't want someone going for a pap smear and only doing the rim.

You're not a vulva owner or a vagina owner. You don't know. There's something in there, you are aware of it. And you know that it's been in there. And you get it. Well, there you go. Great PSA from you. Little PSA.

Get your hooves looked at and your vagina. I've never been on a dating app. We know this because I just got with Aaron too early on. You've been with Aaron since pre-dating apps. Since 2011. Maybe they were dating apps, but I wasn't aware of them. 2011. Shadow and I used to fax each other.

Oh, did you? It was so romantic. Yeah, that's cute. Ring, ring, ring, ring. You pick up the phone, you'd be like, ahoy, hoy, because that's how people answer the phones back in the day. Ahoy, hoy. And it would go, beep, boop, boop, boop.

You'd be like, oh, it's a fax. And you'd hang up. And then it would come through and it would say, to my beloved. Here's a drawing of my breasts. Yes. Yeah. I tried to mush my breasts into the company photocopier, but I did not do them justice.

So here is a drawing. Yeah. Me and Aaron used to text each other using the Excel spreadsheet app the company Photocopier, but did not do them justice. So here is a drawing. Yeah. Me and Aaron used to text each other using the Excel spreadsheet app that Kelly and Nellie used. Of course. That was our preferred. Yeah. You had a real dilemma on your head.

We had a real dilemma. Yeah. Romance was different in the 2000s, early 2000s. The kids will just never know. But now, like, there's so many people that would be married with kids who have met on dating apps. Yeah. Like Tinder was the big one.

Then there was Bumble and Hinge and everything. Apparently, they are on a sharp decline of usage. So this was out of America. Showed the 80%, 79, but I'm rounding. May I? May I round? I mean, as someone on the show with the most amount of Swedish, I am happy to let you round.

Wait, how much? I'm 2% Swedish. But given that I'm Swedish, I will insist it's Swedish rounding, so it's either up to five or down to zero. No, it should be zero. Or you round to the nearest five. Isn't that Swedish rounding? Yeah, it is.

What, so I'm going from 79 to 85? No, you go to 80. You go to the nearest zero or five. Oh, yeah, that's what I did. Yeah, yeah is. What, so I'm going from 79 to 85? No, you go to 80. You go to the nearest zero or five. Oh, yeah, that's what I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thank you for Swedish rounding. Yeah, so this study showed that 80% of college students, so that's your universities, don't use dating apps.

80%! Just over them? Over them. Like, they're just boring now. I mean, so many people I know, it's such a drought and you just get the same kinds of people, whereas people are now trying to go out more and get back into the normal world of dating.

That was going to be my question. How are they meeting if it's not dating apps? Well, COVID was the thing that really shot dating apps up because it was the only way we could meet people. But now they're just going out more, doing activities, meeting at college, like the old school way

where we used to meet. Talking to a stranger. Yeah. I suppose they wouldn't have had that college experience of going to all the parties if it was a bit more COVID and the spacing and stuff.

Yeah, true. They're also straight up not hooking up as well. 71% of people- Do they not know their body is looking the best that's going to look with the smallest amount of effort?

Right now, all you have to do is occasionally, leisurely play a sport and you're going to look great. Now, let me tell you about you're going to hit 25. That's not going to work anymore. No, it's going to look tight though. I was tight at 26. Yeah, but you've got to work a bit more for it. Sure, I was working hard. Yeah, you've got to work for it.

Then you're going to hit 30 and that's when you're like, what's happening? What's that mark? And then you're going to hit 35 and you're going to be like, what's happening? What's that mark? And then you're going to hit 35 and you're going to be like, well, it can't get worse and then it does and then you hit 40 and your back sore all the time

so you can't do all that exercise you were doing to try to keep it looking tight. Yeah. So you just can't find the moonlight. It's like you're trying to paddle up a waterfall. You couldn't get out there.

They said 71% of people at the time of being surveyed hadn't hooked up with anyone in the last three months. They're just wasting their time. You're going to forget how. Dolling it out. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the Century is happening. It's been happening since 2005. We've experienced much international interference. Remember when the Russians got involved? Yep. The bots. And now John Oliver's involved. I mean, I love this.

Huge John Oliver fan. Same. This is the one show I missed during the writer's strike. It's on Neon. It's weekly. Yep. It's an HBO show. Last week, Tonight takes a look at kind of what's happening week to week,

but also like a big issue every week. Yeah. And, I mean, there's a lot of bad news going around at the moment. And so he dedicated a good part of his show to getting behind the puteketeke. Which I'd never even heard of. Neither. I thought it was when I saw that he was backing it, I was like, has he made up a bird and said, oh,

this is the bird you want to do the write-in votes for, for bird of the century. But no, it is. It's a glebe. It's an Australasian crescent. What did he say it looked like? Grebe. Grebe. He compared it to something.

I can't remember. It's like a swan mated with a seagull head. And there's a mullet. And there's a mullet. Endangered around the world. Yeah. Because they were hunted for their feathers and stuff. So he encouraged all of his viewers to vote and I believe

it nearly. That's powerful. What did they say? vote. And I believe it nearly. What did they say? Bird of the Year said it nearly crashed the website. But they did well to. Yeah. Because they knew it was coming. Advertised around the world. It's a really, if you can watch the episode,

if you've got neon, watch the episode. So good. Just because it's so fun to see New Zealand voices. Yes. On American stuff. So much of it. So Bird of the Year. They think we're dinky.

They think we're dinky. We are dinky. We are dinky. That much of it. So, Bird of the Year. They think we're dinky. They think we're dinky. We are dinky. We are dinky. That's a great international reputation to have. Yeah. Cute and dinky. Rather than dangerous. Dinky, yeah.

I don't want to be dangerous and volatile. I'd rather be cute and dinky. Fair call. So, today's fact of the day isn't about the pootakitaki. It's about the gannet. Oh, yeah. Love the gannet. Which is in running for Bird of the year As it has been

It's number one We went to that Gannet colony We did We did Gannet colony In Hawke's Bay There's one out west

In West Auckland Motowai Beach You can walk up the hill And see that Stanky though I would say that A lot of smelly poo Yeah

Those colonies Is that That I tend to So today's factor That is about the gannet If you've ever seen A gannet colony fishing It it is a sight to behold. They will dive headfirst into the sea from a height of 30 metres.

Does that hurt their little tiny head? So that's what today's fact of the day is. It's about how they've evolved to be able to do that. Dive headfirst from 30 metres straight into the ocean while, you know, being able to see and chase their prey. So today's fact of the day is that gannets have no external nostrils. A gannet's nostrils are inside its mouth. Why don't you have to go like that to breathe in?

They've only got one way to breathe. They have to open their mouth to breathe. But then you might as well, if you're opening your mouth to breathe, you might as well breathe out the mouth. your mouth to breathe, you might as well breathe out the mouth. That'd be so handy when you're doing a bomb or jumping into water.

Well, that's why they say they did it because if it had any form of external nostrils, when it hits the water, its head and body, by the way, if you've ever seen it

in dive formation, is like perfect. Yeah. To hit the water. It just pierces the water. But it could have nostrils anywhere on the exterior. Water would be forced

in there so hard that it would do damage. Put them near the bum. Here's the other coolest thing about it is when they're diving, they go and fill up some air sacs in their face and in their chest just under their skin. So effectively they're putting like a helmet. Ear bags. Imagine how cool that would be if we were about to get punched in the face

and you can go and like fill up some airbags so someone would hurt you and it wouldn't hurt as much, it protects the vitals Like a little inflatable It's so interesting Also their eyes are right above their beak, they're very forward facing which means that it allows them to keep an eye on the prey

as they're diving and it's moving exactly when they hit the water, what angle they're going to have to turn to get the fish. That's neat. Hell of a strike, right? But what if they're having a drink and it goes down the nostrils? Because where are the nostrils in the mouth? Yeah, that's a really good call actually. Surely they're on the top, right, so that the water's

going down the bottom. Maybe these are straw. Our nostrils are on the outside, but sometimes when we're having a drink it goes down the wrong pipe. And it gets in your pipe system. Probably the coughing. The coughing and everything're having a drink, it goes down the wrong pipe. And it gets in your sort of pipe system. And the coughing and everything. They're cool. They're all around the world. They travel a really, really long way.

It's still not my bit of the year, though. It hasn't helped. I'm still on the site. And it's hard. They're all fantastic choices. The ketidu is my favourite. I think for century, I'm going to go ketidu. Yeah, because they're great.

A little fat podgy. Yeah, I know. Does it show the current voting? Because apparently... Well, last year's won one with nearly 3,000 votes. It's because the votes are spread so far and wide. Yeah. Yeah, everybody gets a few votes.

Well, vote. Vote for the Bird of the Year. You've got to vote. It is our right to vote. Oh, my God, it's the democratic right. It's our democratic right. Otherwise, David Seymour will end up Bird of the Year. We don't want that.

Oh, no. That's what happens. Yeah, that's what happens. That's what happens. So today's fact of the day is the gannet has adapted itself for diving by having no external nostrils and basically being able to bubble wrap its brain when it hits the water going a million miles an hour.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Day. Let me describe what I'm looking at here I'm looking at a little white box And besides it is a Sharpie To give you great scale indicator Because Sharpies are a universal size

Everybody knows a Sharpie I'm more of a vivid guy to be honest though I love Oh I don't know what I am I feel like I use Sharpies more but when I get a Vivid I'm like hell yeah. Yeah. A super Vivid. Super Vivid. No, no, no. Thin tip. Just a normal Vivid. Thin tip. I don't like a

chisel tip. No, not chisel tip. Have you tried a Posca or a Tosca or a Posca pen? I don't know. August watched these on YouTube my daughter and she was like I certainly must have and we got her for her birthday Posca pens and they are top tier. Posca pens.

Top tier felt. Posca or Tosca? Oh, yeah, Posca pen. Oh, yeah. They are a top. They can write on anything. Oh, my God. Windows, walls.

They look real posh, Vaughn. Yeah, they are quite posh. They're like art pens. Yeah. Oh, yeah, nice. Those are nice. Very nice. Those are nice.

Fat. And you'll tell you what, something for you too. A little bit of a sniff. Is there? Oh, nice. Those are nice. Fat. And you'll tell you what, something for you too. A little bit of a sniff. Is there? Oh, yeah. I'm not into sniffing solvents, but sometimes I do like to sniff a whiteboard marker.

Oh, sometimes I'll have a whiteboard marker. Just to feel alive. And every time at the petrol station, I'll open the door. Oh, when you get to walk to the planes, you're like, cool, aviation fuel. It worries me. When you come back to the car at a petrol station

and my kids are hanging out the window and be like is everything alright they're like just having a smell taking it in get your head back in there

so what I'm describing is a white box with a sharpie pen beside it and I would say you couldn't quite fit this sharpie in this box diagonally

okay that's your size in a kit and now inside there looks to be some sort of minutiae conch shell, like a hermit crab, is it?

At some stage lived in this spiraled shell. And around it, what is this that I'm looking at? It's little brown, dried, semicircular objects. Can you show us the photo so we can hazard a guess? It looks like tiny little sna- Why does my computer always dimmins itself when you unplug it? Oh, they look like, you know, when people homemade rum and raisin balls.

Tiny ones, though. Or muesli balls. Well, don't make that mistake and pop them in your mouth. That's giraffe feces. Oh. They found this at an airport. The US Customs and Border Protection said, just a gentle reminder,

you cannot bring either of these into the country, but especially giraffe feces. Why would you want giraffe feces? She had, a woman had been on. For the roses? Was it for the garden? No, she wanted to make a necklace. What?

Out of giraffe poop? She'd done it in the past with moose poop. She dries it out and it becomes hard and then you put a needle through it and put it on a string. And do you paint it or do you just leave it? I mean, you're wearing a poo necklace. I don't think you're too worried about painting it. What is wrong with this woman?

What is wrong with this woman? Yeah, I don't get it. She's an interesting one. And so then what, they find her, I guess. Do they find you in America like they do here? They took it off her. She did not have the correct permits or, you know, certificates fined her, I guess. Did they fine you in America like they do here? They took it off her. She did not have the correct permits or, you know. You needed poo permit.

How embarrassing. You needed giraffe poo permit to bring in a necklace. They destroyed it. But no word whether or not she received a fine. That's wild. Because I know people always, it blows their mind when they come to New Zealand and they forget about an orange and then they're like, 400 bucks. Yes, I already did that.

It's okay because you can have the orange. It's like, no. Or they've got 400 bucks and they're like oh no it's okay because you can have the orange it's like no or they've got two oranges and they're like 800 they're like wait it's per orange it's per orange not per incident it's damn right it is

do they do per grape they should well you don't want a bunch of grapes that would really teach them what if you had a bunch of grapes you've lost thousands of dollars I'd just be like

deport me I'm not paying that I'm not paying that I'll go home maybe if they joined Maybe if they're joined maybe if they're all still joined it counts as one. Oh yeah. That's why I always travel with vine tomatoes.

The truss tomatoes. And I travel with a full orange tree. Yes. Oh so that you only get to find the one. Just the one but I've got 40 oranges. For the whole tree. On your carry on. Yeah. Amazing that it folds that small. Small tree.

I've trimmed it. Okay. So we want to know this morning your unusual souvenir from overseas. What have you got from your travels? Do you think? Yeah, I guess. And maybe it did raise eyebrows. Bonus points if it raised eyebrows at customs,

but they really didn't know what to do. So it's actually not in the book. Well, bonus points if you just got it through and then realised maybe you shouldn't have just got that through because you forgot to declare it. Yeah, well, lest we forget Patsy Sprouse smuggling in a reindeer hide from Norway. She smuggled it in. What?

Well, she just didn't declare it. It was in her baggage. But it's like long dead, right? It's not like it's got the meat on it. Long dead, and it's all been cured and whatnot and the back gets all sealed and stuff. But you can get them here. We've got one. Yeah, I know. She shot it to herself.

I actually don't have any dead animals at my house. Oh my god, mine's full. Mine are all stuffed and staring at you with wonky eyes. 0800-DARLZATAM. We'd love to take your calls. I remove the eyes. Oh, yeah.

I don't want that staring at me. You can text through 9696. Call us, 0800 DALES at M. What's your weird souvenir from international travels? Can you beat giraffe dung? Hardened. Yuck. Give us a call.

We want to know the weird souvenirs you have from your travels overseas. A woman at a US airport was stopped trying to bring a giraffe dung back into the country. She was trying to make a necklace out of the giraffe dung. What? Okay. You know, to each their own. Yeah, I know.

You've got to declare it. We just said before the giraffe dung was sat beside a sharpie for scale. Someone said, I don't have a souvenir story, but I do have a huffing story. You'll have to hold on to that until we talk about huffing. Oh no, yeah, that's another... Accident, by the way, this is a completely accidental huffing story. It's a very good story. Well, your mind's accidental. When I'm at the airport, you smell the aviation fuel. Yeah, and you just accidentally walk a bit slower. Hannah, what is your odd souvenir from overseas? Good morning.

So when I was in the US, I lived there in South Dakota for a year and I bought bags. Oh, I've got questions. This is not the Dakota phone up. Is South Dakota beautiful? It is. I was living right next to one of the national

parks and it was amazing. The Dakotas really tickle my fancy. You know, like gun to the head, if I had to live in America, it might be somewhere beautiful like that. Dakota, yeah. Couldn't be the big cities. Were you far from Mount Rushmore? Were you far from Mount Rushmore?

Not too far, actually. I did visit a couple times. Neat. Okay. And what was your souvenir? Sorry, I got distracted. So I bought back a bag of coyote teeth and a bobcat tail. What?

What sort of spells are you going to put? And hexes and curses are you putting on people with coyote teeth and a bobcat tail? Well, with the teeth, I intended to make a necklace, actually. Badass. How big are coyote's teeth? The ones that I had were about three centimetres long and half a centimetre wide. Jeez. They got some nasty canines on them, the old coyotes.

When you came back into the country and they were like, do you have anything to declare, did you declare those? Yes, I did. I had them all fumigated and everything. Oh, that's good. You did it the good way. You're a good girl. And a bobcat is called a bobcat because of its bob tail.

So did that look like a lucky rabbit's foot or something? Oh, sort of. I just have it like chilling out on my tall boy. A lot of people ask what it is and I'm like, oh, guess. I bet they do. They would never guess. Oh, my God. Bizarre.

Hannah, thank you. So many messages in. Are your weird souvenirs from overseas? My dad made friends with the dodgy guys in an alleyway in Thailand. Out the back of his hotel. Oh, Dad. Oh, Dad.

They gifted him some cockfighting spur blades complete with dried rooster blood on them, which he definitely didn't declare coming back to the Constance. Oh, my God. What? Because people always send me the funny things for the chickens, the fake T-Rex arms and the helmets you can buy for chickens.

Yeah. And I do want to do it. No. I do want to do it. But then what are you doing? Cosplay with your chickens, strapping some cockfighting spurs on it? That's insanity.

Charlotte, what was your weird souvenir from overseas? Sorry, I'm presuming. Am I on live? Yes, yes, yes. I'm walking, so I couldn't hear you very well. Sorry, I'm presuming, am I on live? Yes, yes, yes. I'm walking, so I couldn't hear you very well. Okay, sorry Charlotte. I was young and naive and living in Germany at the time and I thought I'd

bring my mother home, you know, this fabulous meter long salami that I paid a fortune for in Germany. Meter long! Meter long salami and you know, you wouldn't believe the hassle of trying to get that on the airplane. Was it carry-on or was it poking out the end of a suitcase?

Carry-on. Oh, my God. So I carried that through, like, three airports and across the world. And I was so proud of myself and got into New Zealand and they saw me carrying it and went, no, you can't bring it in. And I went no, please, please, you wouldn't believe

the hassle I just went through. So unfortunately it got taken off me and to this day I was still hoping that it went to the staff room. So if you worked at an airport and you confiscated someone's metre long salami

you'd have a little nibble of the salami stick, wouldn't you? I'd have a nibble. You know, I really, really hope they did because that was a very expensive piece of meat. Oh, my God. Charlotte, how much does a metre of salami cost? Oh, it was a long time ago, but I paid it. Yeah, I don't know.

I can't remember now. It was a long time ago, but it was a lot of money for me being an 18-year-old back then. An 18-year-old bringing back a meat-along salami. I would have strapped it to my body. Is this our caller of the week? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Meat-along salami.

Well, I mean, I'll celebrate any meat-along, mate, to be honest. You're our caller of the week, all thanks to McCafe. We've got a $50 voucher, Charlotte. Oh, that is so awesome. It's very unexpected. I don't think they do salami at McDonald's

But No You'll be alright We're talking about what you've You've brought back to the country As a souvenir Accidentally or on purpose Yeah

So many messages My son was We were in Fiji My son was three years old And had his first bottle of coke He kept the bottle Because he was excited about it And collected rubbish from the beach

And pushed it into the bottle And when we came to leave He wouldn't throw away the bottle So it came home with us Rub rubbish from the beach and pushed it into the bottle. And when we came to leave, he wouldn't throw away the bottle, so it came home with us. Rubbish from the beach? Let's have you breed hoarders. Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, my friend, the Coke bottle.

No. Your friend is rubbish. Get it in the trash. Just because you didn't have a friend that was a Coke bottle. I didn't have any friends. Aw. Somebody else said, we bought a dead scorpion back from the United States.

I reckon back in the day you would have got away with it. In the 80s, we went to Hong Kong, bought a huge Gurkha knife with jewel throwing knives. I saw a huge Gurkha and I was like, yes, with the salami, perfect. Oh, my God, yeah, we're going to get a show. It's just a monster. There's a giant scaled charcuterie board happening. And brought that back

into New Zealand. Didn't even have no questions asked. Wow. I came back to New Zealand from being home in the UK and came back through customs with my dog's ashes

in a pill bottle. Oh. I was very nervous that I got questioned but I did not get stopped. Bought a live frog back from, back in my suitcase

from Thailand 15 years ago. My granddad was saying, look, a frog is in my things Back from Back in my suitcase From Thailand 15 years ago My grandad was Saying look A frog is in my things When I had my suitcase Open in the lounge So it jumped in accidentally

And we all thought He was joking I wouldn't know Where the hell he was Yeah It was a decent one Sort of like You'd be able to

Hold it in your hand And then when we got home Put it in a bag Killed it And told Sorry Now in my mind Grandad just put it In a bag And killed it and told... Sorry? Now in my mind Grandad just put it in a bag and whacked

like that but Grandad might have done the humane thing by turning on the car and holding the bag over the gas pipe. Why'd they kill the frog? Because it could be an invasive species. It could have a Pablo Escobar hippopotamus situation on our hands. He's come all this way. No.

My Grandad also said if we tell anybody, they'll come and take all of our stuff away. So I think the statute of limitations has passed and the frog was definitely dead. Yeah. I was in the UK. A lady paid my friend and I to smuggle dog semen to Poland. What a story to tell the grandkids.

Wow. Yeah, I used to run around. I used to do a bit of international smuggling of dog semen. She paid for the trip. Yeah. Whilst we were there. We were so scared that we took it out of the special vials that were in and put them inside a sunscreen bottle.

We got it through. But now you look like you're smuggling. The lady doggy in Poland successfully got her dog pregnant. Semen smuggling successful. Wow. In sunscreen. I lived in Italy when I was in my 20s. Must be nice.

Couldn't believe how big the ants were there. So I stuck one to the page of my diary and drew a frame around it. And I was so nervous going through customs because I remembered when I was going through that I had this ant in my diary, but it was too late to get it out. I almost passed out. I'm talking an old school 50 cent piece size of an ant. Wow. I would love to stand at customs and look at everybody in line

and just try to work out the, you know, who was nervous. What do they have? Like what do they have? A porcupine quill that we found in Africa and we completely forgot we'd put it in our bag. Goodness. Hold on. Where was that one I read to you before?

Where was it? I don't remember. I went, oh. Oh, yeah, I want to hear that one. I can't even remember. I told you I wasn't going to tell you. You can't do this to us. A machete, a crocodile turkey, MDMA.

We're going. Ta-da! I went to Bali and my mum, who was a science teacher, brought home a massive dead spider in a glass frame. Didn't declare it. Six months later we noticed baby spiders crawling out of the dead spider in the frame. Wait, did they get out of the frame? They need to get Grandad back with the plastic bag and the car fumes.

Kill it. Kill the spider. You just burned it, right? Yeah, I burned it. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast. That one? Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one.

Oh, yeah. No, don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.