ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 9th June 2023

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Bedrotting  Top 6: Things iPhones have seen  Longest Body Part  Final Rankings!  Vaughans Treadmill Incident  Producer Carwen at the Gym  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show Fleshpawn and Hayley. It's three minutes past six. Oh, hello. She's gone out and bought a Miami Heat sweater.

Well, I've got a fair few bits of Miami merch at this point, but I just really wanted a big oversized Miami Heat sweater. And it arrived just in time for me to watch them get absolutely smashed yesterday. By the Nuggets. Yeah, dude. I was feeling for you there. You've gone all in on your sports, on your new sport. I have reached the level of sports fanatic where a loss ruins my day.

Wow. And it changes my entire life. I've never had a sport affect me like that. No. Because I used to love the Warriors, but if you're going to have a bad day every time they lost in the last, you know, 30-odd years, it's going to be a bad loss. You're just not going to have a great time.

No. You've got to love the Warriors. Up the wars. Up the wars. You always want to up the wars. Up the wars. You always want to up the wars. You always want to up the wars. Up the wars. You always want to up the wars. That's you, up the wars.

Up the wars. Or everyone's up the wars, aren't they? Up the wars. Well, yesterday I was watching it, and yeah, I got a bit stroppy. And then someone came in to go, hey, can you come on set? And I was like, yeah, absolutely, so I don't have to watch this crap anymore. Turn it off. Oh, wow.

Yeah, you are a fan. Anyway. Look, we'll see the Nuggies on Saturday. 2-1. 2-1, the Nuggets, right? Right. Coming up on the show, you've had a visit to the post office. Oh, no, this is just news.

This is just news. That the cost of the letter, sending a letter, is going up again. I thought you went to a post office. No. Well, why do we care about no one's posting a letter? People are posting. I thought you went to a post office. No. Well, why do we care about, no one's posting a letter. I don't think everyone's super concerned. People are posting letters. You were under the impression that he was sending a letter to his gran.

No, what made you have that idea? I never said that. I don't want to talk about this on the show. I said in the email, this is how much it's going to cost to post a letter. Gran would roll in her grave. Maybe we could talk about what would make your grandparents roll in their grave in 2023. And then I followed that with, maybe not, because it'll just be racism, homophobic, and possibly transphobia. Then I closed brackets, but maybe we can discuss letters.

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Man or woman, woman or man, I'm an old person. What's that? You don't want them rolling in their grave. I just want them to lay comfortable. I'm going to be strapped into my casket so I cannot roll. No, you'll love a grave roll.

I'm going to be cremated. We should talk about what would you be buried with because my mate Aubyn yesterday made us agree if he dies before us that he's buried with a sword. Why? Well, in case he comes back as a zombie and he just wants to be, I think he's re-watching

all the Lord of the Rings movies and you know when Thingy dies and they put the sword on his chest and he's like, got a sword on his chest. Oh yeah,

he holds it like that. Yeah. Oh right. Holds the thing and he's buried with a sword. Yeah, well I guess if you're going to come back. Quite badass

to see your granddad being buried with a sword. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you've got a weapon as well if you do turn into a zombie. Yeah, dude. You come out guns a-blazin'. The top six coming up.

The iPhone is 15. Yeah, happy birthday to the iPhone. It's just shut itself in the room. I'm not sure what's going on with it. I don't know if it's angry or sad. It doesn't want to talk. I assume it'll come out when it's hungry. You should knock on the door and make sure there's

not a Samsung in there making out because... Doors open in this house. Doors open. Doors open in this house. You better not be Bluetooth connecting.

There better not be any air dropping going on in that room. Oh, you know the teens these days, Bluetooth connecting all the time. What is that?

What is that? Is that a sex thing? No. It was a sexual one but now you've called it what it is. If it's a serious thing, you've got to tell me. You have to tell me. Have you guys ever hear about anything that the teens are doing? You've got to tell me because I've got them on the doorstep of teen.

This is going to be such a great few years. Hayley and I are here for it. We are going to wind you up. Hayley's going to remind you of all the things that she did as a teenage girl. Yeah. It's going to be fun. We're going to wind you up. Hayley's going to remind you of all the things that she did as a teenage girl. Yeah. It's going to be an exciting few years. Well, yesterday I went to, on the way home, Indy was in a basketball tournament, and I went and, man, it stunk.

Oh, yeah, because kids stink. Of, like, adolescence BO. But, like, there was boys and stuff there, and the girls' basketball tops had sleeves. The boys didn't. I was like, can we get some sleeves on these little jacked little bosses that are rocking around with these biceps and triceps? Oh, yeah, you don't want them.

Yeah, you don't want your girls. Yeah, put those away. Put those dangerous weapons away, boy. Well, with the iPhone turning 15, the top six dealing with that. The top six things the iPhone's seen in 15 years. Next on the show, though. There is a new trend that our beloved Gen Z have come up with. Something we've been doing for a long time, but they've stuck a label on it.

I'm gagging for a bit of bed rotting. Does that sound cool? No. Yo, what are you guys up to this weekend? Man, I'm gagging for a bit of bed rot. Is that where you just stay in bed? Yes. Right.

I worked it out. Oh, excuse me. She's choking up. I inhaled my own saliva. Good to know that's nice and wet in there. Now, bed rotting is a term doing the trends on TikTok. And I was like,

what is bed rotting? And it makes me think of like festering in your own dirty sheets. Yeah, bed sores is what happens when the old people don't get rolled over enough. It's terrible. Because the people at the rest home didn't check them. Yeah, it's a form dirty sheets. Yeah, bed sores is what happens when the old people don't get rolled over enough. It's terrible. Because the people at the rest home didn't check them.

Yeah, it's a form of abuse. Yeah, it is. That's awful, but it's not what it is. And I thought maybe we're talking about pushing the limits on how often you wash your sheets. Yeah, I know. Oh my God, can I make a confession? Yes. You haven't washed the sheets in all three weeks you've been in that Airbnb.

I tried. Okay. In this Airbnb, they have not provided me with any spare sheets. And I went home to grab some, but we didn't have any clean because all of our stuff's away. And I was like, great. So I stripped the bed and I took the sheets to the set of

the Great Kiwi Bake Off. They're where there's a washer dryer and I forgot. And then I was like, and I got back and I was like I'm going to have to put them back on and now I've just been sleeping in them for three weeks. Well you tried.

I tried. So you didn't take them back again to use the washer dryer at the set of The Great Kiwi Bake Off? Well it's like I remade the whole bed

and it's not stinky and there's only like one of me in it and I only sleep on half of it. Was you just like turned the sheet around and slept on the other side? Yeah, yeah. Hopefully I flipped it in the process of half of it. Was you just like, turned the sheet around and slept on the other side?

Yeah, yeah. Hopefully I flipped it in the process of remaking it. Also though, to counteract that, because I have been staying in this Airbnb, it's got a shower

and I'm showering every day. So I know that you guys will be pleased. Okay, well there's some kind of hygiene. Your showering's gone up. Your bed washing's gone down. My showering's gone up,

but my bed rotting, anyway, that's manky. No, bed rotting is simply staying in bed all day long and pretending that what's happening in the outside world isn't happening. But we've put a name on it, a long-loved term of something I've done for many years. Especially on a Sunday when you're hungover.

Sounds like depression. Yeah, you don't want to rot away for too long. It's got all the hallmarks. Well, a bed rotting, you just do it for like a day here and there. Not forever. But Matt, this reminds me, especially we were talking about teenagers before. When I was a teenager, you never, like

school holidays, one o'clock, you'd get out of bed, smash a loaf of bread with your brother and watch some Sky One and then you'd go back to bed for a bit. Maybe make some plans for the evening. I love a bed rot. What was on Sky One at that you go back to bed for a bit Maybe make some plans for the evening I love a bed rot What was on Sky One at that time of the afternoon?

I don't know Sky One was a nightmare A night ride We didn't have Sky Yeah That was my favourite thing about going to my grandparents' place They had Sky One of them had Sky

Because they loved the bloody horse races And you had to have Sky to get trackside And you always say to your parents Please can we stay till after midnight? I just really want to watch Sky 1. Nope. Can't say I ever stayed up for Red Shoe Diaries, Emmanuel in Paris, any of those.

God, good times. What an education. What an education. David Duchovny reading the Red Shoe Diaries. Next on the show, director Christopher Nolan. Very famous director. What's he directed? Batman.

The Batmans. Memento, which is one of my favourite movies of all time. Have you seen Memento with Guy Pearce? I think so. Dude, it rules. Really old, that movie. Write that down. What about that one?

Did he do Dunkirk? Was that him? Yes. The one where Harry Styles was in it? Yeah, and Dunkirk? Was that him? Yes. The one where Harry Styles was in it? Yeah, and they had to get her on the boat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did that one.

Any movie that's ever had a noise that goes, Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. Well, he is. Whomp. Famous director Christopher Nolan has said, what seats in the movies are the best seats?

Oh. We're going to tell you what two seats he movies are the best seats. I'm going to tell you what two seats he thinks are the best in the whole cinema and see if you agree on this next because I know you, Vaughan. I'm very particular. You're very particular. Don't worry. Some people love the front. Some people love the back. Famous director Christopher Nolan,

who is well known for his incredible movies and his eye for detail. He, his new movie, Oppenheimer, is about the guy that basically invented the nuclear bomb. Played by Cillian Murphy, who can act my pants right off. I'll tell you, when he's acting,

the pants are off. Have you seen him do, like, interviews and stuff? He doesn't know anything about the modern world. He reminds me so much of Aaron. They'll be like, have you seen the Cillian Murphy memes? He's like,

what's a meme? They're like, oh. Have you seen this on TikTok? He's made the word it is. He's still being Thomas Shelby from the 1920s. But then a lot of celebrities are like that because they just take themselves away from seeing anything online. You'd have to. You'd have to.

And so they don't know a lot about pop culture. But so Christopher Nolan has pinpointed what he thinks are the best places to sit in the movies. Now, he's given an answer for IMAX and The Standard because he does a lot of his movies in IMAX. So standard would be your uninterrupted blocks of seats that are, you know, seat a few. And then your IMAX has the big thing in the middle

and then it's big and wide. And there's only one IMAX in New Zealand, in Queen Street and Auckland. So if you want to get in your post-apocalyptic gear and head into the CBD of Auckland to go into the turn of the millennium structure that is the Metro Centre. That place is so bad now.

Dude, it's empty now. Yeah, there's nothing in it. Guys, it's for sale. It's haunted. We should all, as a nation, buy it. There are some things in there. Like there's Tenpin and I think you can do mini golf.

That's my favourite bar. Yeah, and Hayley's favourite bar which is in the Tenpin place. Metro Lane's, baby. Cheap bottles of wine in the deck.

No one's there. No one knows you. Wait, wait, wait. This could be the turning point. How much does it cost for a bottle of wine at Metro Lane's bar?

About 30 bucks. Not bad. For a whole bottle. For a whole box in a bar. Actually, no, I'm not supposed to be saying this because my friends, we go there so that no one else is there. I know.

I went and met Hayley and her friends. What's a handle cost? What's a beer? They're not bad. I'm not buying a handle of beer. No, they're cheap as chips. Yeah, but I met Hayley and her friends and I was like, what are you doing hanging out in this place?

Wow. It's quite weird. Dude, and like, Grandad will just take the mic for a minute. That place used to pop weird. Dude, and like Granddad will just take the mic for a minute. That place used to pop off in the early 2000s. It had everything. Well, okay, so if you're going to

it's still got the rocket lift. Yeah, but don't get in it. Okay, so if you're going to IMAX or I'm assuming one of those giant screen cinemas, he recommends slightly behind the centre line, near the middle. So you're maybe a couple of rows back from the middle,

but centre. Always centre. People that go to the movies and they're like, oh, I'm sitting on the side. No. What is wrong with you? It's made to be watched from the middle. The sound is calibrated for you to be right in the middle.

And then you're right in the middle of the screen. It's perfect. So he says for a normal movie cinema, you are three rows. You're in the third row, but in the centre. That's where I like to sit. That's too close. No, no, no. Sit in a normal cinema, nice and close.

No, that's too close. You want your entire vision to be taken up with the screen. See, I'm more of a, definitely centre, but more middle or even a couple of rows back from the middle, even in a normal cinema.

You know that you've all had that experience when you go to a big movie and that's really full and you have to sit close to the front and you're like, far out.

Like, it's so much. I think I saw it, we were late for a Transformers premiere at IMAX. And I was in the very left-hand side in the front row. And I wanted to chunny the whole time. It was too much. Too much.

I mean, that movie was horrible. But yeah. But that's the best place to sit. Just a quick review. Just a quick review. All Transformers movies are terrible. Well, no. There's a new Transformers movie coming out.

Surprise, surprise. It's based on my favorite cartoon from the 90s, Beast Wars. Just a quick review All Transformers movies Terrible Well no there's a new Transformers movie coming out Oh surprise surprise They've got It's based on my favourite Cartoon from the 90s Beast Wars It'll be terrible Which is a great Transformers Yeah

They were a great band Great band Yeah this is out of Australia And a whole bunch of people Were surveyed to Kind of describe what they think makes people rich in 2023. You know, like years ago, we might have been like, oh, you drive a sports car or something. Oh, I remember some friends had a spa pool.

I remember someone had a computer. A computer room. A room? A computer room. They had an office and it got turned into a computer room. Wow. Even just having a soda stream, you were rich. Oh, my God.

In the 80s, growing up, 90s. Yeah. And my friend, Leah Monceau, got an orange bubble apple, like, Macintosh. Whoa. We were like, Leah is doing well. Our friend, Hilary, had one of those and she was rich. Yeah. That family was a welfare family. Yeah, I mean, Leah is doing well. Our friend Hilary had one of those and she was rich. Yeah, that family was a welfare family. Yeah, I mean, Leah wasn't doing too badly.

So Australians were asked, in general, they asked how much they think a rich person earns in 2023. Because like many, many years ago, right, you'd say anything over 100 grand. I would have been like, holy moly. Yeah. But now they've done it by generation. So baby boomers think

a rich person earns $306,000 a year. This is on average. Around $310,000. $310,000 is an unusual number. I guess that's averaged out by baby boomers, right? So that's them. And then Gen X

have gone down to $295,000 a year is what they think a rich person earns. Right. Then millennials think it's $430,000 a year and so do Gen Z. They think the same. Right. That's such a big leap.

That's so much. Yeah. Also, that gets to the point of people who want to buy houses but can't and then have done the maths on how much they'd need to earn to afford a house. Yeah. So then they're going like, this is how much you'd need, right?

Yeah, this is a, well, yeah. Right? Yeah. So they also worked out the things that they think rich people do or have. There are lots of different things, like Uber Eats a couple of times a week. Instead of picking up takeaways. Yeah, is one of them having an Audi? Oh, you've just had that taken off you.

No, I'm back to humble. Oh, you're a Mazda driver now. I've got a second-hand Mazda 2015. It's nothing special. Okay, yeah. So here's a list of some of the things they think makes a person wealthy in 2023. Okay. Own a house over a million dollars in reasonable proximity to the CBD.

Yeah. I'd agree with that. You know, you're going, awesome, that's great. Who owns it though? They have their name on the title, but the bank has the majority share. Or the bank owns it, yeah. Yeah, totally. No one owns their house. They were given the privilege of owing the bank a lot of money. Now, this is something I have.

A cutlery shelf in the dishwasher. Oh, I've got that too. Oh, my God. Am I rich too? You know when you've got the top drawer bit that slides out? Oh, my God. Not just a cheap basket. The best invention in a dishwasher ever in the whole world.

Aaron hates it. Why does he hate it? Is he a basket boy? He's a basket boy. Grow up, Aaron. Grow up. Grow up, Greg Grover from Nova. Well, he didn't grow up with a lot of money, you know, and so.

Neither we. My parents still don't have a dishwasher. Yeah, no, they don't, do they? No one in my, I'm the first generation to own a dishwasher. Do they still have that kettle that takes like half an hour to boil water? Good question. I don't know. That might have melted.

One of them melted. Buy your parents a jug. I don't want a jug. They're happy with their shitty old things. People think that rich people... Do you know they just got rid of that carpet? Did they? I was...

Yeah, I said, I hope you... My parents had that, what was it called? Axminster carpet. Oh, Axminster. Oh, my God. Wild patterns. And every time I was at my parents and I'd put up a photo on the gram,

people would be like, oh, my God, the carpet. And I'm sorry to say they just got rid of it. They did keep some squares because I said they need to get it framed. That is so cold. So they said we kept the bits that were always under, like, the couch or the bed. Yeah, nice. Okay, rich people also have a second fridge in the garage.

I've got one of those. Yeah, I've got one of those. That's for beer and other things that I'll never use. And then down the bottom there's some bao buns and some dumplings. Ours has like big frozen meats we'll never use because we don't use the barbecue I bought Aaron for his 40th birthday. And

like weird RTDs. Yeah! When you're given a drink, you're like I'll put that there. Or people just leave them at your house. I just want to say at this stage, I've only got one fridge. Humble. That's beautiful.

Because I'm humble. Carry on. A butler's pantry off the kitchen. Wow, you're sounding pretty rich from this list. We prefer to call it a scullery. Oh, ew. Do we now? Darling, darling, darling, darling, darling.

I don't call him a butler. So this is things that what generation or all generations? All generations. It's like sort of the key things that kept coming up as a sign of wealth. Here's one I've got, and I'm sipping from it right now, a Frank Green water bottle. What? No, that's not true.

That's a sign of wealth. Ordering extras at brunch. Now, I always add a little. Oh, yeah, because they add up. You're like, I'll get some mushrooms, and then they're like $5. You're like, what? I thought, is it considered an extra on the way? I want to always get a bit of carrot cake.

Yes. That's a sign of wealth. A little bit of cake. He's not looking at anyone in particular. Owning some kind of mid-level four-wheel drive for weekends and a normal car for day trips? This list is just born in his wife. Go on, I'll present my argument.

Present your defence at the end, thank you. At the end of this prosecution, I will present my defence. Here's the next one. Holidays once or twice a year, often during school holidays. Where are you off to? These school holidays. Although your parents are paying. That's a loophole.

Thanks to everybody for paying tax so my dad can get super. As he continues to work and collects his super so he can afford to take a sort of Disneyland. There's a few more. Hiring a house cleaner. No. No, neither. Buying organic food. I get a little boozy with my groceries sometimes.

And the last one, which I know you're guilty of, Vaughan, getting a blow dry at the hairdresser's between cars. Not what I thought you were going to say. That's why I talked quickly through it. Yeah, yeah. In my defence

When our mortgage rate goes up to 6% From a current beautiful comfortable 2.5% I'm going to have to sell most of these things Yeah Hello there The iPhone's 15 years old. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. 15.

Yeah, 15. So what does that mean? 2008. Does that feel right? I only got my first one in 2011, I think. End of 2011. I got the three. I started with the three.

Do you remember when they, yeah, and they had the button, they were real round. They were so bubbly. Little. And you'd still need early iPhones. You'd still need to take a camera on holiday. Oh, yeah, they were rubbish. Because it wouldn't take the best photos. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It took photos in a pinch. Yeah, and now you just don't need a camera because it's on your phone. You can shoot a movie on it. Because, yeah, you can literally shoot insanely high-definition video. And they're still so expensive. They're so...

Proper cameras. iPhones are expensive, but I saw a sale the other day for proper cameras, and they're so expensive. I was like, huh. I mean, if you're a photographer, you're a photographer. Yeah, you can't beat a DSLR.

Yeah. Beautiful. It's also 16 years old, not 15. Oh, okay. It was released in June 2007, which means it's 16 years old. The iPhone 1, retroactively known as iPhone 1 or iPhone 2G, because it was only on 2G. It didn't even have 3G or 4G or mind control.

And now we're up to, what, 14 and 15 is coming this year. Yeah. Okay. And I saw them doing 6G. They were doing 6G tests. Oh, my God. People are going to flip over that. That's going to go so fast. It's going to do things before you even ask it to.

It's going to be that fast. Great. Good. I want it to know It's going to be that fast. Great. Good. I want it to know what I want before I know I want it. So the top six things that the iPhone has seen in its 16 years. Number six on the list, 84 million charging cables that need to be held at a very specific angle to work. Very specific.

You tape it up, and then the tape gets a little bit, you've got to re-tape. You've got to bend it You've just got to If you bend it slightly Bend it slightly And then tuck it Under one side of a book

And then you hear the noise Or the It's charging And then when they move To USB-C We've got to chuck All those out Yeah get rid of them

Get rid of them Number five on the list Of the top six things The iPhone's seen In its 16 years 36 million backflips out of a back pocket of the jeans into the toilet on the ladies as they pull their pants up.

R.I.P. How many phones have you lost like that? Oh, definitely two in the toilet. One in the ocean. One in the ocean? Why were you pulling your pants up at the ocean? You're going for a harbour dump.

I wasn't taking a harbour dump. You can't take an open beach dump because the wave will get you. Yeah, you were on the waterfront in Wellington holding onto that bronze statue. Yeah. Harbour dumping. Taking a shit frank hit. Hey, you've got to get a photo with solace of the wind. Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six things the iPhone's seen in its 16 years. 450 million unsolicited pictures of genitals. But, 2 billion pictures of solicited genitals. A lot of genies. A lot of genies. The iPhone's seen more than its fair share of genies.

Number three on the list of the top six things the iPhone's seen in its 16 years. 93 million people lie about water damage. Only if you found out that the phone did indeed get submerged. But now I think from 12 on, they are supposed to be water resistant. Yes. Yeah, how did that go for you with the water resistant thing? Well, it went fine at the Apple end of thing.

It was the store that. Let's not, let's not, let's not. My friend was going to that store on Sunday and I said, pump the brakes there, buster. I realised I was subscribed to their mail on Sunday and I said, pardon the break, Seb, buster. I realised I was subscribed to their mail list and I unsubscribed. Hey, champ, don't go into that absolute wild dumpster fire of a store. Number two on the list of the top six things the iPhone's seen in its 16 years, $8 billion deleting and reinstalling of dating apps.

Yeah. Hold it till it jiggles. Get rid of it. A few days later, get it back. And number one on the list of the top six things the iPhone sent in 16 years. 230 million cracked screens when it got dropped face down onto a hard floor in the 20 seconds total that it was out of its case. Yeah. Always the way.

Always the way. I'm rocking. I'm going caseless at the moment. I'm rocking caseless. Oh, you're nude. It's so fun. Yeah, you are. Why are you doing that? I'm nude. Always the way. I'm rocking. I'm going caseless at the moment. I'm rocking caseless. Oh, you're nude. Yeah, you are. Why are you doing that?

I'm nude. My case broke. They always break in the same spot. Oh, by the buttons? By the buttons. Yeah. In between the up and down button, they get a big crack. Yeah.

Big crack. I love caseless. It's fun. It makes you feel. No, you're wild. Fancy rich. Who do I know recently has just gone caseless? They dropped it and they smashed their phone.

I dropped mine the other day and I've chipped it. Well, there you go. Shouldn't smash it though. Don't smash. Oh, we've been told from the producers about caseless phone as a wealth signal. I've ordered a new case and it's slightly tipsy without seeing it in person, so I reckon it's going to be a heap of shit. Why is it a wealth signal?

Is it because if you crack your phone, you just buy a new one? Yeah, it's like people say it as like, oh, you can afford to replace it or repair it. No, insurance, bruh. Well, not if you keep doing it. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Ted Lasso.

Lasso, Lasso. Ted Lasso. Lasso. Because that's... Lasso. I'm sorry, Bouchy. Lasso. I believe he's Ted Lasso. Lasso Lasso Lasso Ted Lasso Lasso Lasso I'm sorry Bougie Lasso I believe he's Ted Lasso

Lasso Ted Lasso Lasso Lasso Lasso a cow Lasso I don't know Anyway

Whatever It's said in a British accent So I don't know what's right But I've I've very much enjoyed Season 1 and Season 2 And Season 3 I was like

What I'm gonna do is Wait till they're all out And I'm gonna watch them Yeah In the old The them in the old the way of the old folk a binge. Yes. And I'm loving it.

But I had read mixed reviews. There have been a lot of reviews about the season because there's a lot of story arcs. Yeah, a lot of things happen but that's all good. I haven't found it too hard to follow or distracting or anything. It's still got the nice parts of it. I've addressed some stuff I haven't addressed before.

Homophobia has been in there. In sports, yeah. Like victim shaming, that sort of stuff. That's been interesting. You haven't finished it, have you? I have not finished it. I've got two episodes to go. Also, some of the episodes are nearly an hour long,

which is different. It's definitely a bit messier than the other two seasons, but I'm loving it. It's still great. One of the main people that I heard not slamming it but saying she wasn't enjoying it as much was producer Carween, who joins us now. Then yesterday, when I'm like,

I don't know, I watched the episode at the gym and then came back for the staff meeting, and I said, I don't know, why did you not like this? It's a beautiful season. And she said, I don't know what, like, what's going, why did you not like this? It's a beautiful season. And she said, oh, I've only seen season three. Oh, no. She started it at season three.

No, you missed it. And then I'm like in love with the characters. We've fallen in love with these people over the last two seasons. Look, my partner was already watching it. I don't want to go back and watch two whole seasons. You missed it. How much't want to go back and watch two whole seasons. You're missing it. How much TikTok have you watched this week? What's your screen time at TikTok this week?

No, no, no. We're not talking about that. Invest. Invest in something that's not just 15 seconds of mind belt. The first two seasons are incredible. Character development. Yeah. I'm sure they are,

but I jumped in because you guys never shut up about it. It's a great show. It's a great show. It was already playing in my household, so I just sat down and continued to watch. I can't believe you've done this. Who starts any TV show at season three or four? You've got to get invested in the journey.

Yeah, but I feel like I was able to pick it up. No, not pick it up. No. Journey. No. No, not pick it up. No. Journey. No. No, you've got to live through. God. What is wrong with you?

I don't apologise for it. You've only known Roy Kent as coaching staff. You've only known him as a player, entering the twilight of his playing days. And then as, you know, someone who's lost, doesn't know what they're going to do now. Ted had to win everybody over in the first season. Yeah, because he's an American who knows nothing about football.

Come on, come on. I don't want to see that. I want them to like him immediately, and that's what I got. This is what happens when you let your kids watch TikTok, everybody. Everything has to be bloody wrapped up. Wrapped up, and Mr. Beast has to give someone $10,000 for doing nothing. Otherwise, they're doing nothing. Yeah. Otherwise they're not interested.

Yeah. Go back and watch from season one and you will have a completely different viewing of season three. Go do your homework. Yeah.

And I don't know. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There is a Lab Shepherd mix dog. Yeah. Who, whenever I talk about dogs I always

say we're good boy. Good boy. This is a girly dog. Okay. Her name is Zoe. She has just earned herself the Guinness Whenever I talk about dogs, I always say, well, good boy. Good boy. This is a girly dog. Okay. Her name is Zoe. She has just earned herself the Guinness World Record for the longest tongue on a dog. And if you look at this thing, it is so funny.

It's like blah. Have they given a measurement? Because it's this photo, the tongue's hanging out. It's a lot of tongue. Where with the How do you, where with the tongue do you even start? Well, would you measure the tongue from the, The back of the throat?

No, but you'd go from the mouth, how much was hanging from the mouth out, wouldn't you? I know, but like that back bit, does that count? They said it's a pretty messy affair to try to measure the tongue. So this is an official Guinness World Record?

Official. She's got the certificate. They had someone come out and measure it. It's 12.7 centimetres long. So that's definitely from the mouth, right? That's from where it exits the mouth, surely. 12 centimetres is not that long a tongue. It must be from where it exits the mouth.

So when you see the dog's mouth open, and you see all the rest of the tongue in the mouth, surely. 12 centimetres is not that long a tongue. It must be from where it exits the mouth. And then when you see the dog's mouth open, and yeah, you see all the rest of the tongue in the mouth, that's a long tongue. It's huge. I don't know how it folds it up to close its mouth ever. It's like... Well, like, could you imagine it licking, like, lapping up water from the bowl?

It would be an absolute mess. It would go everywhere. Odie! Yeah. Of Garfield. Remember the dog off Garfield? Yeah. He had a very, very long tongue.

Oh, okay. Who's that dog with a really long tongue? Yeah, it's the one that Garfield doesn't like. Right. He kind of likes. Better than Nermal. Garfield was always trying to send her to Abu Dhabi, which at the time was like a desert spot,

but now, of course, a thriving metropolis. A thriving metropolis. Thanks to oil money. Yes. Yeah, so it is only the bit that sticks out when she's going, ha. They measure it from the tip of the snout to the tip of the tongue when they're doing this. Longest known tongue on any dog on the planet. 12 point.

Because it doesn't sound much, does it? But when you see the photo, you're like, droo. Yeah, it's not a big dog either. It's so funny. And, oh, my God, it's not a big dog either. Like, it's so funny. And oh my God, it'd be such a mess. Your house would be covered in spit.

So if you've got a dog with a long tongue, like consider that for a Guinness World Record because it's there for the taking. Well, I don't want to know about if your dog's got a long tongue. I wondered if we just talk about long body parts in general because,

you know, I'm watching the NBA at the moment and the Denver Nuggets have this guy, Nikola Jovic. Right. Oh, he's long. Is he long? He's a very long Serbian boy.

He's 6 foot 11, so he's nearly 7 foot. And he has a 7 foot wingspan. So when he puts his arms out, he's longer than most people. Way longer. Yeah. He's longer than himself, which is very rare, because it's supposed to be your wingspan's about your height. Oh, right.

There's a few basketballers. There's a really young guy. I can't remember who he is. He's got really skinny arms, but he has this, like, incredible wingspan. Yeah. So, no, you're thinking of the wavy, inflatable, tubey guy that's outside the car yard. I don't think I am, but I could be.

You could be. He almost made the NBA. Some of them would have, like, size 23 feet, eh? Like, some basketballers have giant feet. I want to know if you've got a really long or big body part. I've got long toes. My second and third toes are longer than my big toe. My second toe's a little bit longer than my...

It's called the big toe for a reason. It should be the biggest of all toes. Well, it's young. It's called the big toe for a reason. It should be the biggest of all toes. Well, it's bigger. It's wider and girthy. It should be wider and longer than all the other toes. It's a little bit long in toe. That's what means I can peel a banana with my toes. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, it is better with socks on. And when I wear Birkin socks, they kind of hang over the edge. They start creeping over the edge. Yeah. Chandles, like when someone's dad's got a they kind of hang over the edge. They start creeping over the edge? Yeah. Jandals? Yeah, it's a bit. Dad's got a toe that starts sneaking over the front of the jandal.

So you want to hear from people with long body, like long arms. Maybe you've got like really, a really long wingspan. Maybe you've got really long legs. Maybe you've got a really long nose. Maybe you've got really long hair. Don't ring up about your penis. I'm going to ask you pol hair. Don't ring up about your penis. I'm going to ask you politely. Don't ring up about your penis.

Good for you. Good for you. What about really long nipples? If you've got really long nipples we'd love to hear from you. Okay, well 0800 dials at M. I don't know if people are just going to ring up. Maybe you've got a really long beard. Okay. 0800 dials at M-AT-M. I don't know if people are just going to bring up... Maybe with a really long beard. Okay.

0800-DARLS-AT-M is our number. You can message through 9696. Give us a call. Do you have an exceptionally long body part? So a dog has won the Guinness World Record for the longest tongue. You know they have. And I just want to know if we've got long humans in this country listening. Maybe you've got long toes. maybe you've got a long foot.

The answer is yes. Yes, we do. You've got some long people. Harriet, good morning. Oh, hello. Good morning. Now, you have a, what's your long body part? It's not so much long, it's wide.

So it's like the ball of my foot. You've got a lot. Well, I mean, I guess wide is long, isn't it? Wide is long. It's a sideways length. It's a sideways long. Yeah. So, like, you have all your toes, and then there's the ball of your foot.

And then after my baby toe, I could easily have a thick toe. Wait, so you've got a wide-ass foot? Yeah, yeah. And I'm not a good swimmer, so I can't even, you know, hard flex that or anything. Is it a bunion? Is it a bunion or what are bunions? No, no.

Are those a thing? It's a solid bone, not a bunion. Wow. And so is that... Flat little foot. Flat little foot. I mean, it isn't so fat. He didn't say fat.

I'm not going to fat shame you with a wide foot. Is it hard to find, like, shoes, Harriet? I have to wear men's shoes because I have such wide feet. Oh, wow. Do you have big feet? Like, are they long length wise? Oh, like considerate. Yeah, I'm 5'7", but I wear a size 10 women's shoe,

so I'm a bit of a hobbit. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. And so can you wear like heels or anything like kind of not really? I can. It just looks funny because like it'll like that bony bit will sometimes hang off. Hang over the edge.

I just tend to stick of my red band. Red band's all day. Oh, yeah, now we're talking. Yeah, that'll hide a foot, any kind of foot. Yeah, it'll encompass a red band. Harriet, thank you for sharing some messages in. So many. Somebody messaged in about that basketball player

we were mentioning, the young guy, who's, when he puts his arms out, so this is Victor Wimbyn Yanama and he's 2.2 metres tall so 7 foot 3, but he has an estimated 8 foot wingspan. 8 feet! And he's so skinny, his arms are like

His wingspan's 20 centimetres longer than his height, which is quite the ratio. Do they just pass the ball to him and he's like Yeah, it's embarrassing watching him at the basket. My dad is six foot something but five and a half of those feet are his legs. Long ass legs,

really short, stumpy torso. I'm the opposite. I'm long in the torso. I'm very short legs. Short in the leg. My mum has the longest fingers I've ever seen. Puts Nicole Kidman and her fingers to shame. That's right. You remember when she clapped? Yeah.

She was doing that. She was protecting the rooms. Yeah, she was. Yeah. I've never had a haircut. My hair is below my caboose. I'm a 25-year-old female. Wow.

Never had a haircut. That would be a nightmare to look after, wouldn't it? Yeah, the split ends would have split ends. Yeah. She probably trims it. Oh, I wonder if she's had a trim. She must have had a trim. Yeah. Must's had a trim She must have had a trim Yeah

Must have had a trim Because of gravity I now have really long breasts Is this the sort of text You're after? Yes That's what I mean we asked

Didn't we? We did We just want long body parts So that counts Good for you Now someone messaged My ex had three centimetre long nickels But I think they meant nipples

Nipples I was in an autocorrect there Yeah my ex had three centimetre long nickels, but I think they meant nipples. Nipples. Oh, is that an autocorrect there? Yeah, it actually says three centimetre long Nicoles, like a possessive of Nicoles. Her name might have been Nicole with long nipples. Is that three centimetres? Yep. Wow, okay. About that. Yeah, good stuff. It'd be no hard on them.

No hard on them in Omatama this morning, would there? No, not when it's minus eight. You could hang a jacket on it. You know? You could. In the cold weather, you could probably hang a coat on it. Yeah. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Pack and Save have embraced AI, and I'm guessing they're getting out of it exactly what they wanted because here we are talking about it. Yeah, we are. We're suckers. We're suckers like that.

Yep. They've got a little app going where you tell this app what food you've got in the house, and it will generate a recipe for you. Now, the word recipe I use very loosely. So they're using AI. Savy Meal Maker. Yeah. Right.

I don't exactly know how it's interfacing. Because I read that, I read this like a month ago, that a lot of people are using AI apps on their phone or just jumping online. Yeah. And you write down what's in your pantry or your fridge and it spits out a recipe. Yeah.

Isn't it just going to be casseroles and stir fry? Yeah. Because they always make a fridge stir fry or like garbage casserole. Or a dad quiche. Yeah, Isn't it just going to be casseroles and stir fry? Yeah. Because I always make a fridge stir fry or like garbage casserole. Or a dad quiche. Yeah, dad quiche. Just frozen peas, eggs and like whatever's in the fridge. Just keep putting more and more in until the thing's full and then bang it in the oven with some cheese on top, baby. Some of

them are wild though. So I just put in into the app because I don't have a lot of stuff in my fridge at the moment and I'll just go to the supermarket and buy stuff like every couple of days. Yeah. So I put into my app there's leftover chicken always, like roast chicken I've got some veggies

and there's like just a tub of protein powder, chocolate flavoured. So I put that in to the app This is what it is. This is the problem. If you cannot identify that those should be ingested individually You can have a chicken stir fry or something with the chicken and the veg. If you cannot even find that those should be ingested individually,

you can have a chicken stir fry or something with the chicken and the veg. I'll just eat it cold. And then have a protein shake for food. And then, yeah, have a protein shake for food. The app has said to me, sure, here's a recipe that combines your leftover chicken, vegetables, and chocolate protein powder. Chocolate protein chicken stir fry. So it's chicken stir fry. So it is having the dinner and the dessert, but all as fry. Oh, yeah.

So it is having the dinner and the dessert, but all as one. So AI isn't quite there. It doesn't know that we should be leaving out the protein powder. So if you put in like frozen peas, toothpaste, crumbed chicken patties, it'll just say crumbed chicken patties. It'll just say crumbed chicken patties.

And some dirt from the garden. But people have been nice. This journalist did Coco. She said, I've got Coco Pops and some noodles and raisins and tomato sauce. And it spat out Coco carrot noodle salad. Oh, okay. And it puts a joke at the start of it as well. Right.

What do you call a noodle salad with cocoa puffs and carrots? Cocoa carrot noodle salad. What a funny way to enjoy a salad with your favorite cereal. Let's get started. Yeah, not really. All these recipes genuinely just shove it all in a bowl. Yeah. In a large bowl, combine cooked noodles and grated carrots.

Add torn lettuce, raisins, tomato sauce, and milk. Okay. And mix well. Sprinkle crushed crumpets and corn chips on top, and then finish off with a layer of Cocoa Pops. This sounds like when you were a kid and you remember making potions. Yes. And you'd always know when your parents weren't watching

and they'd come into the kitchen and you'd made a potion and they were just like, no! What have you done? You've used a whole tub of cinnamon that would have lasted us 10 years. And you're like, well, Mum, I'm going to be a wizard. So there's wild. I'd say true. I like this recipe.

Someone had jelly powder, oranges, hot sauce in their pantry, so they've made a spicy orange jelly. Actually, that might actually not be too bad. Sprinkle toast with cream, sour cream. God. Sprinkle toast with sour cream. So like hundreds and thousands.

I thought you were giving me an instruction. I was like, how off is your sour cream if it's at the sprinkling stage? I think you can get a few ideas from AI, but I don't think it's quite there yet. For like your full meal prep. But now, final rankings. We do this every Friday. We rank things.

Normally it's food. What did we do last week? Deli meats. Today, we will be ranking our favourite forms of winter heating on this very cold morning across the country. Well, my favourite one right now is this electric throw rug. It's just wrapping around me in a nice hug. So it's like an electric blanket, but a rug.

Yeah, it's like a mink throw, but it's got wires through it, and it's heated. Sounds safe. It seems safe, yeah. It seems very safe. It seems very safe. It's like an electric blanket, but a rug. Yeah, it's like a mink throw, but it's got wires through it. And it's heated. Sounds safe. Seems safe, yeah. It seems very safe. Seems very safe. Very safe. That mink I'm imagining is faux mink.

No, real mink. It's real mink. It's real mink. Okay, a real mink might be slightly more fireproof than faux mink. No, this is the shiniest, plasticist mink faux mink. Yeah. This seems safe. Amazing in that Airbnb where you're broadcasting from, that's the shiniest, plasticist mink foaming. Amazing in that Airbnb where you're broadcasting from,

that's the only form of heating. Like, not even joking. It's cold. And you BYO'd that heating. I BYO'd. Aaron brought me round like an old fan heater we had. Bless him. Okay, I'll start. You cannot bait a roaring fire.

Yes. Screw planet Earth. You absolutely can. No, you cannot. No. Screw planet Earth. You absolutely can. No, you cannot. No, you can't. You absolutely can. Number one. Oh, wait.

Are we doing the outdoor brassiere? Brasserie. Brasserie. For sure you can include a brazier. But you're outside. You don't bring that inside. No, so it's got to be inside heating. Wait, are we talking inside heating?

Because if we're talking outside heating, I'm changing my... No, it's inside heating. Inside heating. Okay, inside only. Then after the fire, I'm changing my... No, it's inside heating. Inside heating. Okay, inside only. Then after the fire, I'd go the oil column heater because those... Grow up.

What do you mean? Yes, they rule. They rule. You two have both so far named heating that has a very tight heating radius. You've got to be sitting

right beside these things to benefit from the heat. We've got a fireplace because we've been sleeping next to it. Oh, I forgot about heat pump. I forgot about heat pump. Heat pump's number one.

No, the fireplace makes the whole house hot. No. And air con makes you too dry. So I'm going to go air con three, the heat pump three. So I'm going to go roaring fire, column heater. Oh, what about hot water bottle? Yes! Jesus.

Party, party, party. No. I'm with this guy. Okay. Yeah. Heat pump, number one. No, two. You push a button.

This is why your skin's so dry. Yeah. Oh, my God. He does have dry skin. You can turn it off. No. You wake up. Heat pump's on.

Summer or winter, you wake up. Heat pump's number one. Fires are romantic, but if they're your main source of heating, it's a pain in the ass. You've got to get wood. That's very expensive, or you've got to get it yourself, which is getting harder and harder to do. Or renovate a house and just burn it. Really?

You're not supposed to burn treated wood. That's very bad for the environment, as well as smoke and smoke. Okay, we'll rank your top three. Heat pump. Yes. More clothes. Oh, yeah yeah that's good he's one of them more clothes well if you're cold dude put some socks on this is cause oh it's cold this week says my 11 year old with no in shorts with no shoes or socks on oh bro i'm cold

says shawday in a t-shirt yeah like let's all just jam on some more clothes if we're cold. Put on your anine bang. Yeah. That thing's not providing much warmth. No. It's a nice, shiny. So I'm a big fan of more clothes. Okay, that's not an option. Heat pump.

Yeah, heat pump. Stable. Yeah. Reliable. Three, fire. But only just to sit right by. It's not heating your house unless you've got one of those units that redistributes heat through your house.

In which case, the ducting is its own entry, surely. No, I'm going fireplace number one. Because I'm sleeping by one at the moment. You wake up, it's toasty, it crackles, it's so beautiful. Number one, fireplace. Number two, I'm going to go the hottie. How good's a hottie in the beer? Hotties are great. Number three, I'm going your iron bar heater.

That was hot water bottle. You had the look in your eye like you were actually thinking about hot people there for a minute. Oh, okay, right. We should say people. We should say people. People are a great warmer in winter. Yeah, actually, I'm going to go fireplace, hottie, Aaron's caboose. Oh, he's got a big, warm caboose.

He's got a big, warm caboose. Aaron's made the list. Yeah. Wait, you said Bar Heater before you put Aaron at number three. No, I've taken that out. I've taken that out. Bar Heaters are the worst. You're talking Oilfin Heaters.

Oilfin Heater. No, I thought you were talking about the red bar that gets all hot. Oh, no, no, no. With the mirror background and the little messy front. Absolutely not. No, no, no, no. With the mirror background and the little meshy front. Absolutely not. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. There are those ones

on the infomercial that they reckon are actually pretty good. Oh, yeah, but that's... But they're not like a traditional bar heater. Yeah, but every infomercial reckons it's pretty good.

Oh, no, I know people that have bought them and said they're pretty good. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think the fireplace wins.

A heat pump sucks. Heat pump rules. Fireplace is so much work. So much. I like lighting a fire, but I'd hate to have to rely on one for heat now. Too much work. It's so romantic. Clean it out.

Check the flue. Get council consent. Oh, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, no, too bad. If you need the heat pump and a power cut, mum's just messaged. Bev's messaged. Yeah. What are you going to do on a power cut?

Or when the world ends? Can't have a hottie. Can't Bev's messaged. Yeah. What are you going to do on a power cut? Or when the world ends? Can't have a hottie? Can't have a heat pump? Yeah. He's putting on another jacket. I'm going to generate his bed. I'm prepped for the end of the world. He's a doomsday prepper.

Talk to your son. He'll be the first to be eaten. No, I'm going to walk to your house. You're not welcome. I'm going to walk to your house. Start shooting you when you're around that corner. I'll be like, there he is. It's our dinner is walking towards us.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, yesterday on the show, I said they'd changed the recipe of my undies. My jocks. Oh, yes. And through that chat, we got onto the fact that I don't wear undies at the gym. I let the running shorts and their supportive situation do their job. The mesh. Yeah.

You're wild. I'm a mad man. Yeah, yeah. Living life on the wild side. Fast and loose with public exposure. And then yesterday, I was at the gym and I was on the treadmill and I was running and I twisted my knee in a funny way and it hurt. So I was like hobbling and frantically trying to

turn down the speed on the treadmill because I couldn't do that thing where you take the weight and step on either side because I was worried if I put my thing down on the, my knee down on the side, jumping off the treadmill because it was already a bit sore, then I would crumble and end up on the treadmill and then have my pants torn down.

Yeah, we've all seen that online. Because we all said that that's what happened to that woman and it pulls down her pants and her undies, so I got a little bit scared and then that. And so I'm hobbling on the gym frantically trying to turn the thing down so I don't lose my pants. This is why you wear undies at the gym.

This very reason. Yeah. Because the undies, as I said yesterday, on the treadmill, that lady's wearing undies. It takes everything off. It takes all of her pants down. Yeah, right. But her undies would be little skimpy female gym undies. Yours is supposed to have a bit more structure. undies would be like skimpy female gym undies.

Yours is supposed to have a bit more structure. Why no? Mine is skimpy female gym undies as well. Actually, who am I to say? Who am I to say? I don't want a visible panty line.

No judge. In my VPL at the gym. So in this moment where you're hobbling and you're nearly crumpling onto the running treadmill, did Hayley and I enter your mind? A little bit.

A little bit, as if to say you should have worn undies. You should have worn undies. Yeah. Yeah. And I was wearing my oldest gym shorts. Oh, right. Okay. Which are a little flappy.

Remember the shorts that your PE teacher would wear where you'd catch a rogue ball at one of the parts of PE class? They're a little bit like that. They're like all flat, but are you that kind of like meat on the fine? You'd be like, whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a fair bit of, but they're supportive in the part where it counts. Right.

But the pant themselves are quite parachuted and ballooning. Right. Wow. Well, how's the knee today then? It's still a little bit sore. What have you done, mate? Don't know. Gosh.

Did you hit the, you know when you're running on the treadmill and you hit the edge of the conveyor belt and the... Oh, I hate that. Your foot slides? Yeah. I always... You know that thing you're supposed to attach to yourself when they're on a treadmill so if you fall off it pulls it off and automatically stops it? Yeah. Whenever I get on a treadmill

I always tie that as tight as I can to keep it well out of the way. So I was like this is the one time I needed the emergency stop. Nobody is using that. Nobody is using that. Take them off. They're dumb. They're dumb and that cord really annoys me

when it's not really tightly wound around the heart rate handlebars. It might have saved you. Could have. But I was in such a panic I didn't even think about that as an option. His life was flashing before his eyes. Well, something was flashing before everybody's eyes if I fell under the treadmill. This happened yesterday at the gym. Because I tell you what, the group chat, you messaged the group chat about this and wow.

We were all just like... Yeah, sometimes when things like this happen, I'maged a group chat about this and wow. We were all just like. Yeah, sometimes when things like this happen, I'm like, group chat. That's what, because I told Sharae and she was like, I would never tell anybody. Oh my God, I would tell her. I would go straight to the group chat. If that happened to her, she would maybe confide in me. Yep. And a bottle of wine and a bag of chips and some cheese and some crackers. But then that would be amongst the class. That's our close group of friends, by the way.

We're catching up tonight. Yeah. So tell everybody what happened at the gym yesterday. So I was going in for a class, and firstly, I had forgotten a top because I packed stuff and went straight from work. I'd forgotten a top, so it was just sports bra, bike shorts. I don't usually do that. I don't usually do that. I don't usually do that.

Good for you, though. Anytime I see someone in bra and pants, I'm like, hell yeah, one day I'm going to work up the courage. Okay, yeah, exactly. I was forced to. Anyways, and yesterday I'd had a couple of coffees. As the girlies know, it's a little bloated situation, you know? Are you a girly?

Wait, what? Too many coffees? Is this another mark in the column of things that it sucks to be a woman? Yeah, absolutely. So you have two coffees and you get bloated? Yeah. I've had two of my... I have two coffees and I have the anti-bloat. It all just blows to him. I've got one knocking on the back door

now. I don't want to get too graphic. I've got two men jumping in and saying, but this doesn't happen to me. You've got to let us know. I've got a flat stomach. You've got to let us know. All those two coffees and I've got a flat stomach. You've got to let us know about these things. I mean, don't go on about it. It's a bit bloody depressing. Blah, blah, this, that, and the other. But our bodies are different and I didn't know that.

I didn't know that coffee gave you the bloat. Well, anyway. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Well, thank you so much. Oh, I'm sorry. I really swore. Anyways. George, did you get much. Oh, I'm pretty good. I nearly swore. Anyways, and so... Georgia, do you get the bloat from the coffee?

Do you get the bloat from the coffee, Georgia? She doesn't have the headphones on. A little bit. Oh, she's coming into state now. This better be good. Oh, gosh. I'm really going to let you down. Just milky ones, guys. Because the black ones go straight through me. One of us! One of us!

One of us! One of the lads! I am a lad. Yep, that's the tea. Okay, anyway, so. She's a little bloated. She's going to the gym class. I walk into the gym class. It's me and one other woman. And she starts to make a little small talk and says

Oh my gosh, how far along are you? Oh, Colleen. Colleen, my darling. And so, look, she was also pregnant herself. So I feel like maybe she was, you know, just looking for a commonality, have a little chat. But what did I do?

I went along with it. Yes, this is my favourite part. Wait, wait. I didn't know this. I didn't know this. She played along. So how far along are you? Look, I don't know how far along I looked.

So I said just a couple months. Oh, come on, you beautiful, beautiful soul. You should have said any day. Any day now. Any day. Oh, no., you beautiful, beautiful soul. You should have said any day. Any day now. Any day. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

And she's like, oh, it's so good to still be working out. I was like, yeah, love it. Oh, come on. No. And then just, yeah, set up my bike and was like, she's going to be so confused when I go absolutely hard in the RPM. Yeah. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, pull it back. The baby, when I go absolutely hard in this RPM month. Yeah. She's like, well, well, well, pull it back.

The baby, the baby, the heart rate. The baby. The baby loves it. Yeah, and you're on your monster energy drink. She's like, this woman has no idea. This child's not going to be able to do basic maths. Yeah, so. So next time I run into her at the gym,

she's going to be very confused. I can't believe you carried on the lie. I didn't know that. I don't know what to do. And honestly, any opportunity to do some acting, you know? Yeah, of course. Well, you used to tread the boards. You used to tread the boards. Oh, come on. This has happened to me

not so overtly, but when I went into a store last year, and you know me with my IBS, and a woman said, this dress is great. It'll be perfect for you know me with my IBS my IBS and a woman said this dress is great it'll be perfect for you especially with a growing bod

and I was like oh you you what you what have misunderstood this information

was that Vaughan was he the was he the store assistant I know I never until someone tells me they're pregnant I would never say to somebody

I would never I would never assume even if somebody was about to give birth and they were in, even if I met them in a maternity ward, I would never assume. If they're crowning, I'd check that it's the right hole and they're not just, you know, doing a poo. Yeah. I'm in the room, which is weird, but I'll just double check.

Yep. Front one. Perfect. On. Play. Today's Fact of the Day is about Time Magazine and words that they, or titles that they invented and have become part of the vocabulary.

Oh, yeah. Time Magazine named World War II. Did they? They were the first to publicly call it World War II. Yeah, but they were going after World War I, weren't they? They were like, here's a big war. Well, World War I was never called World War I until World War II. Oh.

It was called the Great War. The Great War it was. The Great War. I always wondered how you go, yep, it's officially World War II. Because we're always like, it's going to be World War III. It's going to be World War III. But we don't decide that it is. Yeah, who has to be involved before it is most of the world world war three yeah i guess so more than just like two

direct yeah right uh so they invented uh world war one and world war two uh because yeah as i said it was the great war and then when the second one started they were like hmm it's quite similar the greatest had the greaterest the greaterest. The greaterest. The greaterest. Even greater war. So, yeah, they won in World War II. Some other words that they were kind of the first to publish and made popular, socialite. Oh, okay. Time magazine talked about socialites.

These are people who just... Flutter about. Flutter about. Butterfly. Social butterflies. Socialites. Guestimate. Oh, yeah.

You have a guess at an estimate and guesstimate something. Televangelist is a time word. It's a time word. Oh. The religious people on TV. So the televangelists, yeah, they were evangelists,

like preachers, but they were on television, so they were televangelists. Speaking of which, Pat Robinson died. He was an old, very conservative... Yes. Is this in America? One of the American ones? One of the American ones. He was on the telly. He'd be on the tell died. He was an old, very conservative. Yes.

Is this in America? One of the American ones? One of the American ones. He was on the telly. He'd be on the telly. You know when you wake up really early on the weekend and you're like,

oh man, I bet there'll be a cartoon on. Let's see what some of the hedgehogs up to. And you turn on the TV and it's like barking religious stuff at you. Yeah.

And you're like, wow, who's watching this? Yeah. I'd love to know. Don't get me wrong, I love a praise bee. If he's up early on a Sunday,

he doesn't mind a Praise B. Isn't the Praise B guy dead as well? No, so he, no, no, that's someone else. The other guy, he died earlier this year. No, Praise B is literally

New Zealand choirs and it was always filmed in Right. Just singing like hymns and such. Speaking of which, there is the new season Of Righteous Gemstones Coming up

Yay Is it July Or end of June It's on Neon The way it's been advertised Oh my god It must be soon That show is brilliant

It's so good Time also popularised The words pundit Like political pundit And tycoon Oh yeah Really Tycoon

Rollercoaster tycoon Is it not Yes We'd make a really fast rollercoaster Tycoon. Yes. We would make a really fast rollercoaster, but it wouldn't have an end, and then they'd just come off the end of the rollercoaster and they'd just plough through the crowd of people that had been living to your park because of your fantastic presence. Yep.

Great game. One of the best. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is it was Time magazine that named World War II, World War II. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Flash, Fart and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole on the back of an article that says mostly with Gen Z and some millennials, younger millennials, Finsters are falling out of favour. Finster is a slang term for fake Instagram account. People use Finsters to post content that is deemed inappropriate or too private for their main Instagram account. Now, it was kind of like close friends before

close friends and I feel like close friends has killed Finsters. Right. Is this where you'd have one, it would be like VaughnSmith82. Or VaughnPrivate. And then I would have VaughnSmith82.prvt. I mean, you label it how you want. Right, but those pervert ones

were... Because I thought it meant pervert. No, private. Right. Carlwayne, now you had a Finster? All my friends did. I never had one. Right. But everyone else did and I followed, I actually recently unfollowed everyone's finsters.

Because people are not using them anymore, are they? No. And it was before close friends, it was what you'd, where you'd post stuff like, um, doing naughty things. Yeah, silly naughty things. Yeah. Things you didn't want the parents to see, stuff like that. Or just like. Who's got the time?

A bad photo of yourself, yourself hung over or something. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So you'd have a public account that was for when people searched your name when you were applying for jobs. Yes. And then you would have the fake one.

Yeah, one that they could never find. So our silly little poll today dealing with this. Do you still have a Finsta? 3% of people said yes. 5% of people said I don't use it anymore. 92% of people said I've never had one. Some feedback on it. Hannah said, depends on my mood.

No, that's not right. Depends on my mood. That was an answer to yesterday's silly little poll. You've got to go back with your arrows. I have a private anonymous Instagram account to stalk potential clients before I book them and give them my address. I work from home.

So she's got a private anonymous Instagram account so she can have a stalk around of people which makes sense. Along Bowl. Along Bowl. Along Bowl. Hey, Bowl.

Voting from my Finster as we speak. That's why the account name makes no sense. Oh, right. Okay. This is their fake Insta and it's got just a silhouette of somebody's head. Right. Courtney said don't post on it and it was used primarily for snooping. So that's when you log in.

Now, Larissa in the office, what did you use your Finsta for primarily? I kind of taken the piss of my friends and bad photos of myself. Eyes closed. Okay. Pretty boring stuff, but. It was a private account where you shared the photos with a very select group of people. Yes. Like close friends, yeah.

But I think closer than close friends. Oh, okay. So close, close, close. Could you set a text chat with them? Yes. And it stays there for good, whereas close friends is normally a story. So that's gone in 24 hours, whereas the French is always there. It's there to look back on.

Have you got rid of yours or is it still there for the memes? It's still there for the memes. I don't use it, but it's still there. It's there to look back on. Have you got rid of yours, or is it still there for the memes? It's still there for the memes. I don't use it, but it's still there. Okay. Okay. Gotcha. Jordan messaged in. She said, I had a Finster when I was 20.

I'm now a 26-year-old mom, and I don't even know the girl. So she just feels like that girl's a completely not even her, different person. Hardly post on my one Instagram account, let alone trying to post on a second account. But also, if something's so inappropriate or appropriate, maybe just don't post it at all. Oh, yeah, but that's sensible.

That's too sensible. Solid life advice from Chloe there. Yeah. Very sensible. So there you go. It's R.I.P. the Finster. R.I.P. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. August is having a birthday sleepover At our house this evening I think I'm going to need a nap this afternoon If you've got to deal with that Yeah, yeah, yeah They're good kids, they're good kids The kids she's invited are good kids Right

You can orchestrate who they invite Right You can be like Oh, their mum said no, but don't ask them about it. Don't invite that friend, they're a shitbag. Yeah, yeah.

But then Sade was like, oh, I'll buy this for you to do and we'll buy that. And I was like, the B word's been thrown around a lot here. Yeah, we're in a cost of living crisis.

The sleepover itself is the present, the reward. Everything else can be done for nothing. I was like, we're in a cost of living crisis. The sleepover itself is the present, the reward. Everything else can be done for nothing. I was like, we could play fun games for free. Fun games. Wow. Mom, can we get some fun at the shop? No, you know we've got fun waiting for us at home. Wow, here we go.

I was like, we can do all sorts of fun games. So then I was asked, like, what? Yeah, what? I was like, well, you could do like, and I basically just described Pictionary for a while. And then I was asked like what Yeah what I was like well you could do like And I basically just described Pictionary for a while Right And then I described Charades for a while Wait so you want some kids to play Pictionary at August They're not gonna

Or draw and someone else is gonna guess what you're drawing And you can work in teams And it doesn't all have to be bloody Roblox and gift bags And Posca pens Played with these Posca pens? Nah. They're actually pretty cool pens. I don't even know what that is.

They're like a felt pen on steroids. Oh, okay. You can write on glass with them. What? I know. Get out. So that was like, I've saved some jars for my preserving. Maybe we could decorate jars.

Oh, my God. No, stop it. I was going to get them nice jars and then they were going to decorate the nice jars. I was like, why do you need to go out and buy a nice jar? I've got a good gherkin jar right here. I've got an olive jar. I've got a gherkin jar. Wash the gherkins out.

Oh, no, the gherkins have been washed. Right. You know, we're just going to be able to use them. Yeah, but you have wanted to go around to your friend's house and decorate a gherkin jar? I've got a piccolini jar here with your name on it. No, no, no, no. Little Carl Fletcher?

No. You can do whatever you want and pop it in the top there. Yeah. And then I, yeah, I made the mistake of being like,

well, they can sleep in the lounge because there's air mattresses and then Charlotte's like, fantastic, can you sort the air mattresses? So now I've got to sort the air mattresses.

This is why you don't, if Hayley was here she'd back me up. This is why you don't have kids. Oh, I thought you were going to say, don't let your kids have sleepovers. Well, that too. Yeah. That too.

No, but they've all got sport tomorrow as well, so. Right. Can't be up late. That'll be what I'm yelling. Remember, you've got sport tomorrow. Go to bed. Mr. Smith, should you have drunk a bottle of whiskey? Wait!

Hey! Get out of my house! Oh, another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left.

That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that. Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, I need some sleep. Yeah.