ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 9th May 2023

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Undercover Whoopsie  Top 6: DOC  How do you call your Cat?  Heard it here first!  Silly Little Poll!  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name  Sharde's Pants  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Today, minus Hayley, who's taking the day off because her show launches today, a comedy show. Put a comedy before you, if you're listening.

I hope you feel terrible about that. Wow. Yeah. Wow. I'd hold that against her for quite some time. The fact that she chose herself. Over you, dear listener. Whereas I woke up this morning and I jumped out of bed and I said,

hooray, another chance to relate to humans. I probably said it more relatably than that. Right, yeah, of course. That's a little robotic. I'm going to be a little alien, like I'm an alien. Did you really jump out of bed with that kind of vigor? I jumped out of bed. Yep.

Boy, the feet hit the floor and I said, boy, another day. Another day. Hooray, I said. Yep, great. Yeah, right. I shook my wife awake. I said, I'll see you after I've talked to the people. Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, of course you did. Oh, broadcasting, I'll see you after I've talked to the people. Okay.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Oh, broadcasting, man. Yeah. Ooh. Whee! It feels good.

Coming up on the show are the top six. Yeah. So the Department of Conservation have said they are about $300 million behind in their maintenance jobs. So is that like Hudson Tracks and stuff? Yeah. Oh, that's not good. I mean, the cyclone didn't help.

No. They put probably another $100 million on their plate, but they said if they could, they'd need about $300 million to be up to scratch. Oh, that's sad, because, you know, we love a hut, don't we? We love a hut. We love a big walk. It's a huge international drawcard.

Yeah, it is. The walks. The walks around. So I've got the top six signs that you've just stumbled across some of the $300 million behind on the chores they are. Next on the show, a little problem for Whittaker's. A tiny... Yeah, they've had it too good for too long.

Yeah. We're always out here being like, oh, yum, a new flavour. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Well, it's starting to balance the sheet. Well, somebody found a new flavour yesterday and they weren't happy. Well, news yesterday that flatmates who wish to remain anonymous, unnamed, tucked into a, they describe themselves as chocolate lovers. Hello, chocolate lovers.

Hello, chocolate lovers. Tucked into a delicious Whittaker's bar, and it looks like it's one of those berry and biscuits. Good flavour, that one. That's a good flavour. And they saw cobwebs hanging from a piece that she'd broken off. And then larvae. Weevils. And they saw cobwebs hanging from a piece that she'd broken off.

And then larvae. Weevils. Well, yeah. Because, you know, you always know that you've got weevils because you go to pull the cereal out of the box and it gets caught in the, like, the silky web on the way out of the box. So I've got a picture here. It's one of those, it looks like one of those single bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, loser bars. Well, yeah, like, just have a whole block. Yeah, exactly. You don't have anybody to share it with. Or you don't want to share it with. So it's, yeah, okay. So they, yeah, they shared the video on a Wellington community page on Facebook showing the moth lava crawling in the chalk.

Well, it doesn't look like it because they have kind of, you can see it in there, right? Yeah. Like that's... How did it get in there? I don't know. Because, yeah, somebody said maggots,

but they're not maggots, are they? No, no. Because maggots can't live in chocolate. The chocolate would have killed them. They wouldn't have had anything. So it must be something that can survive on. So the Flamets apparently

emailed Whittakers on Sunday night and had a call from them first thing on Monday, very apologetic. Right. And, yeah, they're looking into it. Hit them with a voucher. Hit them with a couple of free blocks. That'd be me in PR.

Oh, there's been a complaint. Hit them with a voucher. Yeah. They'll take it. They'll think they're going to make a big deal out of it. Hit them with a voucher. Well, they're probably after some money. They're after some money, maybe.

Does it say their demands? Have they made any demands? No demands. Outrageous demands. No demands. We demand the entire factory. But I'd be happy with a voucher. Yeah, I'd take a voucher.

For an ups for the next size up. Yeah. Send them a king size voucher. Hit them with a voucher. Yeah, two king size and that would buy my silence. Hit them with some vouchers. Yeah. with a voucher. Yeah, two king size and that would buy my silence. Hit them with some vouchers. Yep. Is what I would say

from my PR desk where I'm reclined in a big chair and on the door it says Vaughan Smith, head of PR. Not specific to what I'm PRing,

just PR in general. You've just got a pile of vouchers on your desk. I hit them with a voucher and I throw the vouchers just haphazardly because I'm enjoying a cigar break

so I won't be interrupted with such a trivial matter in the PR office. What else do you do in your PR agency? Public relations. Right. Constantly. Just vouchers. Constantly. I think you'll find most problems can be solved with a voucher.

Right. What if somebody dies at your store, at a store that you represent as a PR agency? The vouchers. At the voucher. What store are they dying in? Say, for example, it's a clothing store. How did they die?

What happened? They went in the changing room and the ceiling fell on them. Or you want to talk to ceiling PR. Because we don't own the stores. We're renting a store space in a mall. It's your PR agency that's dealing with this. Oh, we also deal with construction. So you're saying, what, hit them with a voucher for a free cardigan?

Well, no, if the ceiling fell on them and I also represent the PR company for the ceiling, I would hit them with a voucher for a free cardigan. Well, no, if the ceiling fell on them and I also represent the PR company for the ceiling, I would hit them with a construction voucher. Right. For a free upper house

or something. Well, yeah, just free reinforcement of a wall or something. Right, okay. Probably. Or a free pergola.

Pergola. What do you call those things outside that you sit under? A trellisy thing. Yeah, hit them with a trellisy voucher. Okay, Vaughan Smith PR, there you go. Do you have a website for your PR company? Yep, Vaughney PR.

Doesn't sound very, it sounds cutesy, not serious. Website coming soon. Okay. Yes. That's what the website says. Technically there's a website. It just says coming soon. It's already come. Yeah. what the website says. Technically, there's a website. It just says coming soon. It's already come.

Yeah. But the rest of the website's coming soon. But I'm in no hurry to do that. It's 11 past six next on the show. Undercover cops everywhere. What does he mean? You've got to say if you're an undercover cop. Well, if someone asks you for an undercover cop.

You've got to tell them. Otherwise, it's entrapment. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Currently 50 degrees Fahrenheit in Spokane, Washington. Okay. I know that because the website I'm reading is an American news website. And up in the top-hand corner, it said 50 degrees.

I was like, that cannot be Celsius. No, Fahrenheit. How much is that Fahrenheit? That's cold. It's cold. That's cold. 50 degrees Fahrenheit be Celsius. No, Fahrenheit. How much is that Fahrenheit? That's cold. It's cold. That's cold. 50 degrees Fahrenheit to Celsius. It's like when you find a recipe online and it's like put the oven to like a thousand Fahrenheit.

You're like, what is that? It's too hot. It's very hot. Yeah. Very hot. Well, it is from Spokane, Washington, but it's a story about the Detroit Police Department where different districts, 11 and 12, there was a District 13. That was a movie, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a movie.

And District 9 was the movie, but that was about aliens in South Africa. Right. So I don't think they're the next. I don't think they're only a couple of districts down. I feel like that's a completely different district situation. Districts 11 and 12 in the police department didn't have great communication because District 11 had set up an undercover operation

where they were pretending to be drug dealers. Oh, okay. And then people would come along and they'd arrest them. Yes. Or they would use that information to find out more about other drug dealers. Well, you flip them, don't you? Because you want the big guy. You've got to flip them. You've got to follow the money. Have you never watched a police TV show? You've got to flip them. You've got to follow the money. Have you never watched a police TV show?

You've got to flip them. You flip them and you follow the money. Yeah. Follow the money and you follow up the move. Get the big dogs. Cut the head off the snake. Exactly. So they were, District 11 had set up a place where they were pretending to be drug dealers.

Okay. District 12 had a lot of police officers undercover pretending to buy drugs. So then they would buy it and then they would follow the money. Yeah, right. So you can see where this is going. I can see where this is going. District 11 tried to arrest District 12 and District Trout tried to arrest District 11.

So what, you've got this comical scene where everyone's pointing guns at each other? Huge kerfuffle. Yeah. Huge kerfuffle. And Police Chief James Craig said this is probably the most embarrassing thing I've seen in the department since I've been appointed as Chief. In fact, it's the most disappointing thing I've experienced in my entire 40-year career of being a police officer.

Wow, that's like mum or dad saying, not angry. I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. But then if they're different police districts going about their business. But they do have someone above it. Right. So that's what he's saying. They should have been saying, hey, we're doing this.

Right next to each other. Right, we're doing this operation. Yeah. They'd spent all this money getting it set up on both sides and then kind of blowing the cover on it when they tried to arrest each other. Right. And it was, you know, fruitless.

Funny though. Very funny. Almost like a scene out of like some kind of They've both got body cams. They've both got like body cams. Release that footage. Love to see that footage. It'd be a hell of an episode of Cops.

It's very Reno 911. Very. Watchers of that show. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Yeah. Silly. Next on the show, a neighbour has sent a note. Oh, is this on the community page about their flatmate going for a run? No. Oh.

What's that? I saw that one at the weekend too. What was that one? That was about their flatmate going for a run and coming home very upset. I'll tell you next when you tell me what you tell me. I'm holding out my information until you are. Oh, now that's probably

more exciting than my story. Well, you tell yours and then I'll tell mine and then it's a competition whoever loses has to quit. Yeah, but they told us at radio school that we've only got to do

one thing per break. They sound very similar. So it's almost like an overarching break with two parts to it. That's too confusing for a listener, apparently. I don't think people

have conversations and only stick to one topic the entire time. I think they do. I don't know if that's how only stick to one topic the entire time. I think they do. I don't know if that's how conversations work. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? You go first. So I was going to say I saw this

Facebook page, Facebook post on a community page and then I had a few reports of it for community notices. Yeah. And I was going to say I think it's fake because it seems like one of those ones that people just put up, like when they put up a picture of a dog with an adult fun toy in its mouth and it's like, I was down at the beach with my dog this morning

and I found this. Does anyone know what kind of sea creature this is? It's a classic. And people put it up on different pages. And it was someone saying that if people could stop cooking meat with their windows open in the neighborhood because their vegan flatmate goes for a run and is breathing in meat particles

and comes home really sad that they're breathing in meat particles. So it's similar, but this is actually a note that our neighbours got in Perth in Australia. Important message. Hello, neighbour. The note starts off. Could you please shut your side window when cooking, please? My family are vegan.

We only eat plant-based food, and the smell of the meat you cook makes us feel sick and upset. Oh. The letter was signed, Sarah, Wayne, and the kids. We'd appreciate your understanding. The note went on to say, please take this seriously. It was on the back of the envelope. There's a picture there.

Right. Now, how do we feel about that? I think it's the smelling. They were being tempted back to the way of the meat. Because they reckon, I've talked to people who don't eat meat, and then they are lured back by, like, bacon or the smell of chicken. Yum. Yeah, well, I can't wait at the producer's desk. You're, no, not a vegan, a vegetarian.

Yeah, just a vegetarian. What do you think about this note? Would you tell your neighbours to shut the windows, stop cooking meat? No, I wouldn't. I mean, I live with people that cook meat, and always have. Do you give them that look? Nah, it still

smells nice, don't get me wrong, I just don't want to eat it. You know? What's the best smelling meat that you won't eat? Bacon. Bacon. But then, fake bacon smells really good. No, you should. You know? What's the best smelling meat that you won't eat? Bacon. Bacon. Bacon. Yeah. But then fake bacon smells really good. No, you're sure. It does.

To be fair, I haven't smelt fake bacon, so I couldn't. Exactly. Couldn't comment. It smells identical. Shannon, Shannon Lett Pajamas. Do you have a vegan flatmate or a vegetarian? Just a vego flatmate, and we do dinners together, so we do vego dinners,

but sometimes I'm like, oh, I could add a chicken breast, but I just, I don't. Could you cook it separately? No, I'll just eat meat at lunch. You're too nice. Yeah, so I'll do like a chicken breast with my lunch when I'm by myself,

but then around her, I'll just eat vegetarian. But if you were just, say she was like, I'm not doing dinner, I'm going out later, but she's around home, would you cook a meat meal? She's super explicit that I can.

There's never been like a don't, but I just feel a guilt. I don't know. There's like a, just a thing. Has she ever said anything if you're cooking meat? I think she'll like look at it, but I don't think she'd tell me off. When a vegetarian comes to a barbecue and says, what part of this barbecue hasn't had meat on it? As in touching the grill? Yeah, because they want to cook on that part and you're like...

But like if we're going out to a restaurant... The lid. The lid. We'll put some pastel sausages on the lid. If we're going out to a restaurant, I'm going full meat. It's just cooking it. I feel like cooking it's such a next level with the smells and the tongs are then meaty. But surely it should be

the neighbours that shut their window, right? Yes. Like it's not on you to shut your window. Yeah, like if you don't want to smell it, you shut your window. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, surely. It's not our fault that sausages are yum, they get through the windows. It's like complaining because the rain's getting in.

Yeah, but you wanted fresh air as well. Yeah, it's a bloody rain case. That's a very good point actually. That's a bloody good point. Yeah, but you wanted fresh air as well. Yeah, it's a bloody rain case. That's a very good point, actually. Very good point. Yeah, thanks. I hope to make some more good points throughout the day. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey.

Play. ZM. Well, some new research has been released. A study has found a third of people that work from home, remote workers, admit that they do it for at least an hour a day in bed. I don't know how anybody does anything in bed. People that eat in bed.

Isn't there like breakfast in bed? I'm like, no, I'd just rather sit at the table. Is that weird? I don't know. It's a weird angle for me to sit on. I'm not an angle. I can't sit with my legs out straight like I'm sitting on the mat. And I don't trust myself to like, if it's a tray, I might spill the juice.

Absolutely. Yeah, I don't want eggs on my sheet. You've got to do that thing where you kind of like sit yourself up to get a drink. And you're like, and you angle it because you come up and you tip it at the same time and then the angle is too much and it spills down the side of your mouth. But if you get up and you eat, you have breakfast, have a shower or whatever, you don't even maybe shower because you're still in your jimmy jams. Yeah. Do you just, could you sit with your laptop on you or next to you?

Could you work? I couldn't. Not in bed. No, I don't think I could. Not in bed. But if you were just typing emails. Nah. The couch?

I'd get up to do it. What about the couch? What about the couch? I could sit at the couch. But you'd rather have a desk.'d rather be able to sit at the table Yeah, I'm the same But apparently, yeah A third of remote employees

Admit that they do it for at least an hour a day They work from their bed Because a lot of people working remotely Can obviously just, I guess, dial in on their computers Yeah But some people, even call centre people Can do work from home Yeah, because they dial it through, don't they?

So when you call up Air New Zealand or the- That was something that really came through during the lockdowns and the pandemic. People were- Yeah. The call centres were just working from home. But you had like three people trying to work from home in a flat and one of them was in a call centre, but they had to have a quiet space and then the Wi-Fi wasn't- it was too much for the Wi-Fi.

It's just mind-blowing that you ring up to sort out your power or your internet and the person taking your calls at their house. That's weird, right? What? I don-Fi. It's just mind-blowing that you ring up to sort out your power or your internet, and the person taking your calls at their house. That's weird, right? What? I don't know. It's just weird. I mean, yeah. Hear a dog barking.

It'll be through the computer, yeah. It'll be through the computer so that people can still see. Yeah, it's great, but it's just weird. I don't know. You're not for it. But you are. I couldn't work in bed. Yeah, no, I'm not.

I go to bed to go to bed. I might watch TV in bed. But that's it. But that'll be for it. But you are, I mean, if... I couldn't work in... Yeah, no, I'm not a... I go to bed to go to bed. I might watch TV in bed. But that's it. But that'll be about it. Right. I can't even play video games in bed. I know some people will sit in bed and play video games. Yeah.

I can't do that. Well, if you're on the phone to someone on a call centre, maybe it's not out of line to say, are you in bed right now? Well, anybody that's working from home. Are you in bed right now? Is this your hour where you're actually in bed? There's a chance they could be.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The Department of Conservation, as of March last year, had a $300 million backlog of deferred maintenance on huts, tracks and structures,

leading it to consider closures and divestments. Oh, that's not good. Well, this is one of our big tourism. Yeah. And anyone that enjoys the great outdoors, the tracks. Yeah, this is beautiful. Dying in the huts. Yeah.

Yeah, go for a little walky walk. Well, that's a major concern. That is a huge major concern. But I've got the top six signs you have stumbled across some Department of Conservation maintenance issues. Oh, that's a major concern. That is a huge major concern. But I've got the top six signs. You've stumbled across some Department of Conservation maintenance issues. Oh, okay. $300 million. That's a lot. Number six on the list.

The tracks are dusty. That means no one's been out there and swept them. Yeah, a little bit dusty. It's a giveaway. Yeah, a great walk is not a dusty walk. And we will need those tracks swept. Yes. This is probably the least of the problems. Who's going to?

You know what I think? It's a lot of human hours. I was going to say man hours, but of course, woman can sweep too. Yeah. There's a lot of man hours to sweep that much track. I think we get a track Roomba. Oh, okay, like a robot. Yeah, right.

And it just titters around the tracks. And do you know what would be great? And it gets full of dust and comes back to the base. And if it also removed those little bitty, big things that sit to your hair legs. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Your leg hairs. Leg hairs.

Hair legs. Hair legs. Hairy legs. Hairy legs is what you're after. Leg hairs, yeah. Those things? Yeah, we can do that. Pull them off?

And they pull out. Yuck. A little seed package from a grass of some sort, a native grass. Number five on the list of the top six signs you've stumbled across from Department of Conservation maintenance issues. The long drop hasn't been cleaned in months. It's lost its piney scent and it just smells like rancid open hole with dump in it.

Yeah. I don't think they're really ever cleaned, are they? Well, that's because of the maintenance. Yeah. That's because we're so far behind. That's part of the $300 million worth of maintenance. I'm very good at holding my breath in a Department of Conservation long drop. Yes.

Well, you have to be, unfortunately. The grossest thing, the smell is the smell, right? You know it's going to be there. It's when there's a blow fly. Yeah. That comes up and you hear it down in the hole, but you're like, oh, I can't wait for you to come out. It's like, that comes up and you hear it down in the hole, but you're like, I can't wait for you to come out. It's like, that's disgusting.

If you lift the lid and open the door, it'll fly towards the light. Oh, really? So it'll fly out. Right. Or if it's nighttime and you've got a head torch on, lid up, open the door, stand outside, it'll fly towards the light. And then when it goes out, you're shut. Yeah, but then the possums could get you when you open the door. Yeah.

No, they don't want to be in there any more than you do, I think. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six signs you've stumbled across in the Department of Conservation, maintenance issues. Bloody cobwebs in the dock hut. Have some pride. Who's doing the dusting in here? Who's doing the dusting?

Yeah. Get a little duster, do a little maintenance. Ugh, cobwebs. Always love those old mates that go to hunts and they just pack a few cleaning things and they just do a little mini cleaning thing. Yeah, bless them. Yeah. I'd say, well, I follow the Department of Conservation on social medias

because they, obviously, out and about they get some beautiful shots. And so much of the hut maintenance workers volunteer work. Old mates giving up their time and their skills and getting the goods in there and doing track and hut maintenance. Yeah.

Hats off to them. Number three on the list of the top six signs you've stumbled across some Department of Conservation maintenance issues. There's bloody bird shit everywhere in the forest. Have some pride. Yeah. Yeah.

These are our great walks. We should be making them clean up after themselves, these birds. Number two on the list of the top six signs You've stumbled across Some maintenance issues Some Department of Conservation Maintenance issues

Puddles on the tracks Oh yeah You've got leaky sky Right Because they haven't Seen the plumber out there To take care of it There might be some

Puddling on tracks That'd be right And that's not going to be good Because you've got your Nice new walking boots on Nothing worse You're expecting this to be A dustless Waterless not going to be good because you've got your nice new walking boots on. Nothing worse. You were expecting this to be a dustless, waterless hike up a path.

Nothing worse than you get your boots wet in the first 10 minutes. Yeah. And then you're like, okay, this is just me now. I've got wet boots. That's again, that's maintenance. You've got a maintenance issue on your hand. And number one on the list of the top six signs you've stumbled across in the Department of Conservation, maintenance issues. The Wi-Fi is down at the dock hut.

Oh, classic. Someone needs to restart the router but it's locked away so it doesn't get stolen but you've got to get in there and you've got to turn it off, give it 30 seconds and turn it back on again and unfortunately that's just maintenance. They haven't had time nor money to take care of. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. How do you call your cat if you're like, I want to cuddle you. Come here so I might pat you. It's feeding time. Feeding time's different. Feeding time's done to itself.

Well, because Major Murray Fluffington is an apartment cat. He's just always there. But say he's over there. You're sitting on the couch comfortably and he's over licking his genitals. I'd just be like, muzz. You'd just say muzz? Yeah, just say muzz. But he's always aroundicking his genitals. I'd just be like, muzz. You'd just say muzz? Yeah, just say muzz. But he's always around.

Any physical gesturing? No. Pat, pat, pat, pat, come here. No. Okay. Interesting. Why? Well, this scientist, this French scientist,

has said the ultimate way to call a cat, whether it be your cat or a strange cat. This is good because sometimes I see a cat, like if I'm walking down the stairs, I'm like, that's cute, I want to pat it. Now, this isn't going to guarantee that it's going to come to you, but it's going to give you the best chance that the cat's going to come to you.

Okay. Vocally. Yep. Puss, puss, puss. Yep. And to gesture it. So that could be like, come here, cat. Come here, cat.

Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. If you're like sitting on a couch and you pat They'll think Or like a scratch Or like a Some sort of physical A sound Or do they need to see it?

So they need vocal They need vocal and visual cues Right So the vocal is you But it could be It could The other thing you do Could also have a sound element to it

Right And that's the What, they've tested this on cats and it's the way that they'll... Charlotte Desmossons in France tested this. She went to a cat cafe. So these weren't cats that were familiar with her. Yep.

They all met her at the same time. Okay. So this isn't like she involved her cat. Okay. She went to strangers' cats. Yep. And familiarized herself with them the same amount. Yep. And then began her scientific experiment.

She called out to them but made no gesture. No physical gesture. She then tried gesturing to them, no vocalization. Then she did both the vocalization and the gesturing towards them and in the fourth one the control condition she did nothing. She just simply presented herself.

She walked in. Okay. And she said the cats came the fastest when she used vocal and visual cues to catcall them. I bet the cats

would come faster if she walked in dressed in a tin of jelly, Matt. Oh, she'd be straight over. But that's the thing, no food involved. Yeah. Because food, of course, the cat will immediately be

weaving between your ankles trying to trip you over. Puss, puss, puss. And a hello, come this way, cat. When you say puss, puss, puss, you're saying puss, puss, puss, right? P-U-S-S, P-U-S-S. Puss, puss, puss. When it's written down, they say it's a,

but is that different to the pss pss pss noise? Well, I wouldn't do that because that might scare them. P-S-P-S-P-S. Is that just the written version of pss pss pss? Yeah, but then some people say the name, don't they? They're like... What about that? Is that the noise? Oh, maybe.

Well, how do you call your cats when it's dinner time? I don't. They're just there. They're just there. And if it's not, if I haven't been told to feed them, I don't want them on me. Yeah, right. So if they're there, that's fine,

but I'll never actively seek the cat. But if they say they hadn't come home and you were like, oh, a bit worried, what would you, how would you call them? Puss, puss, puss. I'd just shake the biscuits. You'd just walk on the deck and go, puss, puss, puss. No, I'd just shake the biscuits. That's the best way to do it. You'd be like, puss, puss, puss, puss. No, I'd just shake the biscuits. What, you'd just walk on the deck and go, puss, puss, puss. No, I'd just shake the biscuits.

That's the best way to do it. You'd be like, puss, puss, puss, puss. I'd be like, not really. The two cats we've got now, I don't call them because it's taken care of. Yeah, right. With my wife and daughters. Okay.

And Anakin, my cat, R.A.P., don't really want to talk about it. No, I know. It's a struggle, isn't it? Yeah. He died. Yeah. I used to say Annie's puss, puss, puss.

Annie's puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. But when I say puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. Carwin's finding this very funny. And it's weird seeing grown men. And it like, my dad's just be like, where's the cat? And I walk out and be like. And they get real high and real I love it.

Who has a cat in the producer's booth? Yeah. How do you call the cat? So we have a kitten called Aslan. Named after the lion from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Yeah, he's a little orange one. So we call him Slan. That's his nickname. And then that

developed into Slandog Millenia. That's what I call yeah. And then that developed into Slan Dog Millenia, is what I call him. Okay. And then that just abbreviated to Dog. So I'll go, Dog! And then he comes. How long have you had a kitten that has already had eight names? I've only lived with him for about three months.

Okay. If that. Right, okay. But yeah, he comes to Dog or Slan. And we just go, Slan! Come here, Dog! But no puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. No, no.

We've done that with him. But he loves it. He comes from anywhere you call him, unless he's catching mice. If he's on the hunt. He's on the hunt. But we gave him a bell again. He started catching mice every day. We gave him a bell.

No, you want him to catch the mice. It's the birds you want him to leave a line. No, no, no. He brings them into the house and they're all bloody. That's a lot. They look like they're killed. Well, you know what? I think we should take some calls because I love when especially adults go out and they

put on the silly cat voice. It's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss. Adults. Big men. Yeah.

Especially the big. Brough voice men. The blokes. Yeah, bloody hell. I'm going to go feed the cat anyway. Wuss, wuss, wuss,ough voice, the blokes. Yeah, bloody hell, I better go feed the cat anyway. Hey, bwis, bwis, bwis, bwis, bwis, bwis, bwis. But Ira, I think we'd take some calls. How do you call your cat?

Yeah. And then you call us, 0800-DARZATM, and we hear how you call your cat. Mm. And maybe this is going to ruin if people are listening with their cats. It might be messing with some cats. The cats might come running in. The cats might come running in. And later on we'll do how do you whistle to your dog?

Then we'll be like, how do you scream at your children? And it'll just be all the noises of a house. That's a great one for another day, that one. How do you scream at your children? How do you call your cat? Do you have to go to your back door and maybe you've got to yell out its name and it's a bit awkward because you're yelling out your cat's is it, do you have to go on your, like, to your back door and maybe you've got to yell out its name and it's

a bit awkward because you're yelling out your cat's name. Yeah. Maybe you don't go for a puss, puss, puss, puss. 0800 dials at M. Give us a call now. You can text her as well. 9696, although I feel like this is a call through one, this one. Yeah. 0800 dials at M. Give us a call.

Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. Buss, buss, buss, buss, buss, buss. No, someone said we forgot the biscuit shake. We didn't forget the biscuit shake. You do the biscuit shake. We said you always do the biscuit shake. It's your first stop. We're talking about calling your cat.

And how do you do it? Because the French scientists have said vocal and visual cues. Yeah, this especially works if you see a cat that's not yours and you want to pet it. Because you know sometimes they're like you're a stranger. Yeah. But then sometimes they're a feral cat. Oh, you don't want to be petting those. So how do you call your

cat is a big question we're asking this morning. Good morning, Nicole. Good morning, how are you? Good, thank you. How do you call the cat? So when I was young, I played the flute. And back then, my cats would go nuts over it. Like, they would get to the point where they were all, like, smoochy and purring around my legs every time I was playing.

A flute? Yeah. So I don't know if it's, like, the high tones seemed to, like, make them really comforted. But they got, like, really groovy and, like, you know, pussy footy and things like that with it. You're like the Pied Piper of Puss Town. So these days, instead, our neighbours have a cat. I don't, but occasionally it'll be in our yard, and so I'll whistle a tune or something,

and it seems to do a closer job, considering the cat's normally pretty tentative otherwise. Who knew? Any particular song you like to whistle at the cat? No, just some random tune. Just a random little tune. I'm not going to demonstrate. Maybe it's the high pitch.

Maybe it's the high pitch. It's why when we puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. We all go higher because they hear it a bit better. Because it works. Nicole, thank you. Ashley, how do you call the cat? For my cat, I just go, Meow, meow.

Meow, meow. Luna. Luna. Oh, wait. So your cat's name isn't Meow. It's not Chairman Meow. It's Luna. No, it's Luna.

Yeah. So you say, Meow, meow at the start. Meow, meow. Meow, meow. How did it get shortened to meow, meow? Well, that's what noise cats make. Your fear call, they don't really go meow, do they?

They go meow, meow, meow. And then when I'm looking for my rabbit, he's an inside rabbit, it's just, Rabbit! Rabbit! So the rabbit will come when it's called? Yes. Wait, and the cat doesn't eat the rabbit?

Well, the cat, she ran away. Oh. When we moved, she ran away, so we've got to rent it. Right. Wait, so this cat's MIA? Well, we know where she is. She's a stable cat now. She lives in some stables. Yeah, she does a lot

of fun times. Great feed of mice and rats and birds in the stables, though, because they all come in for the seeds, the grains and the seeds. Won't go hungry. Ashley, thanks for your call. Sean, good morning. Morning, how are we? Good. How do you call your cat? Well, our cat's known as Kobe, so naturally

just Kobe. Kobe! Like you're taking a wild basketball shot. Yeah, well, we live on a dairy farm and he's pretty robust and he'll even disappear for a couple of days and things, and after about three, we sort of go out and call him, and he'll just pop out of nowhere and come back inside

for two or three days of recharge. Chill out. And then go off-grid again. And then head back. So you don't go for a puss, puss, puss? Yeah, I probably do, and I probably hit the high note as well. Yeah. Echoes through the valley.

Good stuff. I want to hear you do the valley. It goes through the valley. I want to hear you do the puss-puss, Sean. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Good pitch there. Good pitch. Yeah, that'd go through the valley, wouldn't it? Yeah, lovely.

He could be down a rabbit hole or anything, so got to find him. That's just how they live in life. I think if I ever took Major Murray Fluffington to a farm, he'd just get lost. He wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what to do. No. Even with his military background.

Kelly, how do you call your cat? Hi. Well, I train them to come to a whistle. A few people have messaged in since we heard the story of the cats and the flute. They have a specific whistle for their cats. How does your whistle go? Simple. That was really nice.

It's quick, simple, but it's unique. Yeah, okay. And it will come every time, just to that? Well, she's gotten a bit smart, and she realises if I don't have a treat in my hand, she won't come. Somebody else said our cats have their own whistles. They've got two cats and they've each got their own whistle. So they individually can call them.

It's like those families that were weird growing up that would get lost in an apartment store and mum would start doing the whistling and the kids would find mum. Whereas my mum is just like, Farmer, I have to pack her and leave it without you. That's what Bev would do too. Just screaming.

Thank you, Kelly. Some messages in. My daughter plays the flute too and the cat will come running and climb up and rub itself. You should get a flute. I should learn the flute. I should learn the flute.

And you could walk around and you could just play it in there. Yeah. Kitty cats would come running. I have this little brush that he loves and I just click the button and he goes nuts and he'll jump up on me. So I don't need to learn the flute.

So that's the sound. That's the sound, yeah. Someone said, I have human names for my cat, so the neighbours think I'm insane. Instead of puss, puss, puss, I say Polly and Dave. Polly! Polly! Dave!

Dinner time! We call our cat, we call her dog. We just say, Betty, come! And then the cat, oh, come. Tap in the ground, though. When they do it. All right. So that's the thing.

I guess it's just whatever your cat gets used to, the sound's conditioning, right? Pavlov's dog, except it's Pavlov's cat. We call our cat Olga. It wasn't her name, but we called her that, and she just really liked it. So now we just say, Olga! Olga! And the cat comes. I love that.

It'd sound ridiculous to your neighbours, but brilliant. But then they do the same thing. They probably judge you and then when it's their time to get their cats and they sound just as ridiculous

and you judge them in return. There's a scam that is in the news again today. The Herald have delved into this. Do you remember, I don't know if we talked about this, this was a while ago, a Christchurch student. He lost $42,000. Put himself into debt because he was, you know,

didn't have that kind of money. So I think he was using some of his rent and parents. Not too many students to have $42,000. No, no. Because it was the review scam. And now another woman has come forward and the Herald have talked about this. She's $159,000 in the red.

She borrowed money of friends because she was deep into the scam. Oh no. And like trying to get out. So she's like, just help me out. And she said it was for a house or something. So they lent her money. And now she's got to pay them back.

The scam, I read this story. And I could not wrap my head around what the scam, like, I wouldn't have fallen for it. But I also don't 100% understand how it works. But the thing is also, like, if these two people have come forward, it's so embarrassing. How many people haven't? That's the rule, right? Because I could never, I would never go out there and say,

guys have fallen for this scam and I've lost thousands of dollars because I'm an idiot. Yeah, you would feel so foolish. Yeah, and so how many people have fallen for this and have not? So I kind of like, I feel like it's good on them for coming out. I mean, there was a percentage of, I'm just going to do a quick Google, what percentage of people actually report scams? Because that's the thing, they get so embarrassed

and they shut down and you don't hear about it. Yeah, their pride. So they're like, well, I don't want to admit that. So this scam was posing as an actual company. So it was a well-known software brand, but it wasn't that brand. Right. It was imitating them and it was a well-known software brand, but it wasn't that brand. Right. Just, it was imitating them and it was on either a meta platform. So either Facebook or Instagram. And so it was basically saying, Hey, look, if you want to work from home, you do this rating job. It's easy money. You work from home. It'll be all good.

They give you training over the phone and then they say, okay, you've got to make these bookings. And they're sold to the people as investments. And they say, you make these bookings with your own money. You review the whatever it is, a hotel room or whatever, and we pay you back and then you earn bonuses. But then, of course. So where does the money that the people are giving to the scam... Are they like, you need to book the hotel room, here's the website address, and they give them a fake booking thing?

I'm assuming it is. It looks like an actual booking, but it just gives them their credit card details. It's not. So then they start initially booking, say, a room or something for $100. But then this woman says she was eventually paying up to $30,000 of her own money

for each booking. Wild, eh? And so there is... My other question was going to be how much, like if she's $149,000, hotel rooms don't cost... No, I know. $1,000. So what does she...

So she says here that there was a bonuses account. So they must trick you into giving you a bit of money after you've given them so much. To keep you, yeah, yeah, yeah, hooked in. So you think, well, it's legit. I've got a few thousand dollars here. And then it spirals out of control and before you know it

she's lost 140 something thousand dollars. That is insane. Another reminder to have some people in your life that you can turn to and the deal is no judgment. This is what my mum, and my mum and I have got a deal that if she's like is this legit she sends it to me

and I just say yes or no and no judgment because when you shame your parents on this sort of thing being like you dummy how did you even think that and then next time they might not ask because they don't want to be ridiculed again so you've just got to have an agreement with some people to check, no judgment.

But then, I mean, the first guy that was in the news falling for this, he was a student. He wasn't a boomer. No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. It's not always boomers. It's not always boomers. It's people that often fall for scams,

the friends that think a buck can be made quick. Yeah. And they're like, okay, I can see how this could make me some quick money. And I mean, I'm work adverse. Yeah. That's an actual medical diagnosis. I'm work adverse.

I'm work adverse. It used to be called lazy, but that's offensive. Yeah. So you say you're work adverse. Now I'm work adverse, but I'm also wildly cynical, which leads me in a often a state where I won't make money, but at the same time, I'm not getting scammed out of the money. Well, a couple of sayings, if it's too good to be true.

It is. And a fool and his money are easily parted. Correct. So be cynical. But then how do you know you're a fool? You don't have any money anymore. Fools often don't know they're fools. Yeah, that's Yeah

Yeah Well that is another scam to be wary of And isn't it Is it privacy week When's privacy week This week or next week I think it's privacy Happy privacy week

Happy privacy week to you Happy privacy week to you also Happy privacy week to you Yeah I don't know Does that have anything to do with this Yes it does Because it's about keeping things

Like your privacy is your bank And like Your passwords And knowing what to keep private and how to stay private. Well, somebody's messaging saying, I work at a bank and we're always happy for you to ring us if you have no one else to turn to to ask if it's real. Right.

And that's true because, and they don't want to have to clean up the mess of, you know, transactions or fraudulent bank charges. Or if you're listening now and you don't have time to call the bank, I'll call the bank for you. If you just give me a call, give me your bank number and your password. I'll take it. No, no, no fee.

Just the password and the log on. Just the password and the log on. It's so nice of you. And I probably will need that three-digit pin on the back of your credit card because I'll have to ask about that. Yeah, yeah. And your birthday. That's so nice of you.

That's the service I offer. That's so lovely. Yeah, well, you know, we get to go home a little earlier than most. You've got a lot of time. I've got a long drive home. I'm probably going to make two or three bank calls on the way home. Okay. So, yeah, that's the service I actually have to offer.

That's so nice of you. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The return of I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name after the news at 8 o'clock. Are you feeling, how are your psychic abilities with the weather? Because I know that that kind of interferes. Where are we at with Mercury? I don't know.

Is it retrograde? Is it retrograde? I don't know. Do you have a slightly sore tooth? Oh, okay, that could affect your psychic ability. Maybe, maybe. Yeah, right. I don't know. Do have a slightly sore tooth. Ooh, okay, that could affect your psychic ability. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah, right. I don't know.

We got sent an email, and it's from David. Yeah. David Aitken, and it says, here is a link to my new song in the video of Ballad of Gersaint Lazar. Is that everybody's best guess on how to pronounce it? Gersaint Lazar. Gersaint Lazar. The Ballad of Ryan Attached is an MP3 of the song.

We quite often get sent songs, don't we? Often. Artists overseas. I don't know how it ends up. I mean, they must just go like New Zealand radio stations. And they Google. And then it gets a list. And then they're like that.

And then they'll just send it to a few people. Yeah. In the hope that it sticks. Yeah. Well, this one ended up in Carwin's inbox. And maybe it was like, if you want to contact The Breakfast Show, click here. I don't know. I haven't been on a website for years.

Ever. Ever. In a few years. In a few years. Yeah. It's a long time since I've been on a website okay and uh now it goes on to say i'm a 77 year old scotsman and i wrote the lyrics okay although i'm probably too old by now to dance on a station platform because that's what the song's kind of dealing with apparently

a train station platform a train station platform and dancing on the same train station platform. A train station platform and dancing on the same train station platform. Right. Now, we've done this. Did he not, when he saw our website, did he not think, oh, they look a bit young and funky? Like, you know, like, why isn't he emailing Coast or something? He probably did them as well. Is he just going scattergun? He's going everywhere.

That's your best approach. Okay. That's your best approach. Why wouldn't you try every possible outlet? Yeah, I know. Well, we're going to play it, so it's worth. It's worth. Yeah, okay.

Now, do you want me to play it from my computer, or have you got it on the system? I've got it. It's been loaded. Yeah, it's been loaded. Okay. Now, does this have a music video as well? There's just cover art.

There is a YouTube. Oh, right. Okay. Okay, so he's got seven subscribers. Okay. Now, I'm... A Ballad of Gaya St. Lazare by Richie and Aiken, sung by Shitty Young.

Was it a cover? I don't know. Any more... It was added to YouTube eight days ago, and it's only got 71 views. So I would like... In Scotland right now, what time would it be? Well, it'd probably be like at night,

it'd be seven... Yeah. Or 8.46. I don't know. Now I've got to know. Time in Scotland now. It's 8.46 p.m. So if he's 77, probably be in bed by now.

Probably be in bed. Yeah. Lying there, not being able to sleep, thinking I should get up, but won't get up, and just lie there until he hopefully falls asleep. So I would like him to wake up tomorrow to a lot more views. On YouTube? On the YouTube video.

Well, I don't think we commit to playing all of the songs. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just a taster. A taster. Okay. Oh, I like it so far. It's traveling by train towards Paris. Okay.

To meet a girl like the guy I saw in my life. Classic romance story. Here's Gun of Paris. Okay. Classic romance story. Here's Gun to Paris. Meta. Because he's talking about the song he's written in the song he's written. Right. It's lovely. Folk music.

I mean, I can't see us playing this. No, I can't see it either. Over and over again. Yeah. But we can reply saying, We've played it once. Oh, it's a lovely voice. It's lovely, isn't it?

It's nice. I feel like this would be, you could hear this in a department store. Because it's non-offensive. It's very unoffensive. Or a supermarket. You know who could play it and should play it

Chemist Warehouse Radio yes they have got their own don't tell me that radio station has been broadcast

from a central Chemist Warehouse to the it's not radio technically it's it's it's a pre-recorded

playlist it's streaming it's Chemist Warehouse streaming it should be I'm actually going to argue with them quite aggressively next time I'm in there It's a pre-recorded playlist. It's streaming. It's Chemist Warehouse streaming. It should be. I'm actually going to argue with them quite aggressively next time I'm in there. I wish to be manhandled by the security guard who looks after the perfumes. Yeah.

I'll just stop people stealing the perfumes. Just stop saying it's radio. Yeah, stop calling it Chemist Warehouse radio. Yeah. And play the ballad of Garth St. Lazare. When this all winds up, this radio thing, that could be you, I could imagine you, sitting behind the dispensary. At the chemist's warehouse.

Yeah, at the chemist's warehouse. No, because my brother's a pharmacist, and what if I have to end up working with my brother? There'd be fistfights in the dispensary. Yeah, because you've got to have a prescription to have the drugs. Yeah, and he'd be like, don't play this song. And I'd say, I'm in charge of chemist's warehouse radio, not you. And then he'd be like,, don't play this song. And I'd say, I'm in charge of Chemist Warehouse Radio, not you.

And then he'd be like, they don't like this song. And I'd be like, Mum! And then by the time Mum gets there to break it up, she'll be there for a prescription because she'll be in her 80s probably at that stage and we'll just be like throwing down men in their 50s, just throwing down behind the dispensary desk. All while this beautiful, lovely song plays in the background. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Do you still use Be Real? It wasn't one that popped up as a social media. It was like, hey, look at me.

So the app went from one to 20 million users in just seven months. Like it felt like everybody was using Be Real. But since October last year until March, the users went, the daily users went from 20 million to just 6 million worldwide. Okay. And I feel people are just like, what's the point? It's falling.

I'm over it. We even had a phone in studio and it had a sticker on it that said, Be Real phone. When nothing goes off, take a photo. That's right. Who's taking that phone? Who's got that phone now? The phone's gone.

Someone's stolen the phone. That was like an iPhone. It was a brand new iPhone. It was an iPhone. Wow. It's gone. We've got a thief. So after eight,

we track down. I reckon I know who sold it on Trade American. Someone sold it on Trade Me. 100%. Cheeky. Cheeky buggers. Well, do you still use Be Real?

3% of people said once or twice a week. 7% of people said yes every day, meaning 90% of people said no, I've never used Be Real. Also, I feel like it just ended up being people in bed, right, or at home. It's the same stuff. I saw a lot of people,

the same people in bed, and then the fourth day in a row, they'd say, well, it's just a coincidence. It's not. No, it's a pattern. It's okay. You're in bed a lot. That's fine.

Earl says, love it. It's just fun. Yeah, I get that. Legit. And this was a very popular response. People thought that Shanley at Pajamas at the social media desk, who does have a history of spelling mistakes. Yes.

In our social media posts, does have a history of spelling mistakes. Yes. And our social media posts had spelt cereal wrong. So she'd meant to ask do you still use cereal? Oh. Which would be a weird way to ask someone what they had for breakfast. Do you still use toast? Are you a toast user? Yeah. Do you still use dinner?

Yeah. And quite a few people said, do you mean cereal? No, we meant be real, but this shows that it definitely didn't penetrate like other social medias have. Yeah, 100%. Somebody said I had to Google it, and 100% just thought it had been a spelling mistake.

I had it was either in the car nearly every time or looking absolutely terrible and no one wants to see that, so I stopped using Be Real. So, like, yeah, we didn't want to be real, it turns out. We did not want to be real. We wanted to continue to be fake. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. We welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name This Morning, Abby. Good morning, Abby. Good morning. Now, Vaughan will ask you five questions about your mum, Abby, and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. If he can do that, $100 cash and a good success rate, Vaughan,

for the year so far. I don't know. We haven't done it as much this year. But I think we've done it a handful of times and you've got everyone. It's been a success. Yeah. And last year, 2022 for you was a big year. Huge year.

Huge year. Just on a personal note, great year. Great year. Yeah. Now, can I just ask, is it ABBY or ABBIE or ABBI or ABI? Actually, ABBY. ABB-E-Y. A-B-B-E-Y. The one option I didn't give you. Okay.

The E-Y. A-B-B-E-Y. Do you think that makes a difference, do you? Could do. Okay. I don't know. I like to ask a lot of questions, just get a lot of general knowledge. Okay.

Okay, what did, my first question for you, Abby, regarding your mother, Tanya. You think it could be Tanya? It could be Tanya. Could be Tanya. What was her thought on the whole coronation thing, the coronation of the king? Did she watch it? Does she have no time for it? Does she think it's ridiculous?

Does she not like Charles? Or does she love the monarchy? Summation. I don't think she's overly interested in it. She's not interested. Big Deb vibes. You got a Deb. I got a Debbie from that.

You got a Debbie could not care less. She's got a no-nonsense Deb. Jane's had enough. She might also have one of those royal names, and she's sick of people being like, oh, your name's Elizabeth. Oh, yeah, Liz. Liz. Yeah, Liz oh your name's Elizabeth oh yeah Liz yeah Liz your name's Elizabeth

you must be watching the she's like no I'm not or she might be a Camilla because if your name was Camilla you'd be like oh god we need a new Camilla yeah

because there was Camilla the gorilla from what now and now there's Camilla Queen Camilla yes you're probably ready for a new Camilla

to be compared to. Or a Catherine. Okay, a Cathy. Okay. Christine, you're putting a Christine. Did your mum care, Vaughan, about the... I don't know. I haven't really...

She's been overseas. I haven't talked to her too much about the coronation. She probably watched a bit of it. Second question. If mum was a colour, what colour would mum be? Yellow. Yellow. So she's bright. She'd be yellow. She's bright. She colour would mum be? Yellow. Yellow. So she's bright.

She'd be yellow. She's bright. She's vibrant. She's Julie. She's happy. She's Julie. She's Tina from Tuners. Now that is a bright, vibrant woman.

Even though she's dressed in blue, if she was a colour, she'd be yellow. Has anybody actually done an expose to see if she actually works for them? She's an actress. I thought she was. Are, she'd be yellow. Has anybody actually done an expose to see if she actually works for them? She's an actress. I thought she was. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I thought she was a Turner's employee and that absolutely stumbled across something magical. Unbelievable.

But she's not. She's not. Okay. A bunch of comedians told me that, but they let me talk a lot about how I believe she worked at Tina's before stopping me. Well after they could have and saying, no, no, we know her. Oh, right, so she doesn't. Okay. That's disappointing. I think it's going to be with me all day, that. That Trudy doesn't actually

work at Turner's. What if Trudy's popped into me? Put down Trudy because that was who... Put down Trudy. That's a good name, that one. Put down that. It just came to me. I was writing in the middle of writing down a whole lot of T names because of Tina. Yeah, Tina, Trudy, that's a good name, that one. Put down that. Came to me. I was writing in the middle of writing down a whole lot of T names. Because of Tina. Yeah.

Tina, Trudy. Yeah, okay. Tish. Patricia. Patricia, Pat. I got an Auntie Pat, of course. Yeah. She doesn't work at Turner's either.

Much like Tina from Turner's. Helen. I'll be influenced into a Helen. Yeah. What are your mum's siblings' names? Corey. Yeah. is her brother, and Davina is her sister. Oh, Davina. That's a real spanner in the works, isn't it?

Because Corey, that was a really new... That's a real Spanish spanner in the works. Yeah. I don't know if Davina's Spanish is pretty more Irish or... So does that mean that mum's name as well is a little out there? Because you'd say Davina's out there. Davina's out there. But then Corey's not out there.

That's real 80s though too, isn't it? Real 80s. Real 80s. So you've got to go with your 80s. So I'd have a young mum on our hands. Yeah. One of our young... I'm not saying she was a young mum.

Hayley's big 80s name. Hayley, big 80s. Rebecca. Yeah, I might go with the... Tanya. With the names that were everywhere in the 80s name. Hayley, big 80s. Rebecca. Yeah, I might go with the names that were everywhere. In the 80s and 90s. Courtney. Yep.

You couldn't escape them. Kelly. Oh, yeah, big Kelly vibes. Yeah, big Kelly vibes. Okay, next question. Sport. Now, this could be, did mum used to play a sport? Does she currently play a sport or does she have a favourite sport?

She used to do marching for many years. Oh. There's your Hayley. The day that Hayley's away. What about a Kim? A Kim. Oh, a Kim. A Kim.

Yeah, I see. You were doing there your Kath and Kim. The Kath and Kim, yeah. The Kim. Did I have a Rebecca? Oh, yeah, Bex. Yeah, you there your Kath and Kim. The Kath and Kim, yeah. Did I have a Rebecca? Oh, yeah, Bex. Yeah, you took down a Rebecca there. Yeah.

She's coached netball as well. She just coached netball. Yeah, yeah. Now, did you just remember that? Or is she there? Did she tell you? Sharon. Sharon.

Big Sharon energy. Sharon in the 80s as well. Yeah. Big popular name in the 80s. Did I have a Vanessa? Oh, yeah, that's a good one too. Just put down all the cast of Beverly a good one too. That was her. Just put down all the cast

of Beverly Hills 90210. Shannon. Yes. Shannon Doherty. Yep, Shannon Doherty. Are we talking original 90210? Original.

Okay, and are we talking their character names or their real names? Shannon Doherty and Brenda. Yes, Brenda, yep. She was Brenda. Yep.

Okay. I'm out. I don't know any of the other cast. Kelly was Jenny Garth. You have come to the. Okay. I'm out. I don't know any of the other cast. Kelly was Jenny Garth. You have come to the right man. I've come to the right man. I have.

The original 90210. I bet you did. Okay, just give me a quick. Jenny was Kelly. Tori was Donna. Oh, Donna. Yes, I'm getting big Donna vibes there. The lady who was in her 30s when she was playing a teenager's name

in the show was Andrea. Andrea. I might just go in Andrea because no one's called Andrea in New Zealand. Andrea, yeah. And her real name was, damn it, that's the one I can't remember. Teenage Vaughn was a huge 90210 guy. Why? Brandon Priestley played, oh, no, no.

Yeah, Brandon was played by Jason Priestley. Yep. You had David... Brian Austin Green. He had a gun episode. They did a gun safety episode with him. Ian Ziering was Steve. Luke Perry was Dylan.

I just said, that's it. But ta-da! Wow. He didn't get out much. Can I guess your 90210? He didn't get out much at all. I think I had a final question. Final question.

What's mum's drink of choice? Oh, a Summer Ultra. A Summer Ultra? Is that the low-carb spates? Yeah. I was expecting you to say like a Chardonnay or something. No, she's not a wine drinker, I don't think.

She loves a beer. Mum sounds fascinating. Doesn't she? Yeah, she does. She's yellow. She's coached netball. She's a marcher. She had a sister called Davina.

Yep. A brother called Corey. She doesn't work at Turner's, although we've not confirmed that. No, we haven't. Okay, well, now Vaughn has 15 seconds, Abby, to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's

name. Vaughn, your time starts now. Deb, Jane, Liz, Camilla, Catherine, Christine, Julie, Tanya, Tina, Trudy, Louise, Alison. Stop, that's my mum's name. What, which one? Trudy. Trudy and Davina.

You witnessed it. You witnessed it. How did you do that? It came to me. We were talking about Tina. Yeah. From Turner's. Tina.

And it was a T-T-T's. Yeah. And it tapped in. So it's really Tina from Turner's. Yeah. The reason that you've won that $100, Abby. Congratulations. Thank you.

You've brought that in and you have triggered the bonus round. The bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. One guess at dad's name. It has been done before, Abby. Okay. Trudy and... I feel like we went down the 99210 path for a reason.

Do you think? You know, and I knew... Dylan. That's what I'm thinking. Nah, it's got to be something... No, it could totally be Dylan because it was a younger name. Dylan's wherever we were in the 80s. Were they?

But not so much in New Zealand. I reckon it would be something traditional. But Bob Dylan. Yeah, true. I reckon like a Chris. Or a Joe. I definitely think it's... I'm just feeling Dylan.

You're going to go with Dylan. I'm going to feel Dylan. I think you've gone too left field. Dylan and Trudy. Dylan and Trudy. That's not a couple made. It does sound like a great couple name. Abby, what's your dad's name?

Dane. Oh, my God. I thought you were going to say Dylan. Dane. Dane. Dane. Dane. That's as 80s as it got for guys.

That's very 80s. Dude. Dane and Trudes. Well, we didn't guess dad's name. Close. Abby, but congratulations. We've got $100 cash for you because, Vaughn, you've done it again. You've guessed mum's name.

Mm-hmm. Feels good. Thank you. It must have been that flu jab. Thank you. I think it was the flu jab. Get your flu jab. Next on the show, you witnessed an accident.

Yeah, I was on the drive. I saw an accident happen on the drive home from work yesterday. And I immediately made it about myself. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. Yesterday, I was driving home from work. I'm driving. I wasn't singing.

Making my way downtown. Making my way downtown. I wasn't. Well, in an act of absolute vanity, I was listening to the podcast that we recorded with the lads from Between Two Bears. Yes. Yeah.

Which is available now. Wherever you get your podcast. On iHeartRadio. It's at 1 hour 17. Were you critiquing? I was critiquing my own performance. Yeah, I did great. You've got some work-ons.

I've got some notes I'll give them to you after the show. Fantastic. But yeah, Sade's given that a double thumbs up too. Oh, did she listen? Yeah, I was like, why do you want to listen to more? She knows everything. You get enough of this. Yeah.

And you've been there for the whole ride. Yeah. But anyway. But it was quite confronting because we talked about the fact that we've worked together for 19 years. Yeah. And people are 19 now that were born when we started and that's like old enough to do everything.

Anyway, I was driving and I was listening to that and then I saw this car drift across three lanes. Oh, jeez. And then it was all just all go. Did they crash? This car drifted across three lanes and just kissed the motorway divider, the concrete barrier, and then stopped. All these other cars, because he drifted across, slammed on their brakes,

and there was a little residual greasy grain on the ground. And then this car, boom, and I was just, you know, when cars hit and they change angles real quick it looks weird yeah yeah and I was like oh my god so what so cars had crashed into each other

yes okay there'd been three cars involved one had lightly so the middle car had lightly hit the car that had that had

drifted across ever so lightly and then the car behind him had really stoved his car in on a right on his tow bar

and so I was like whoa and I drove around the back car and then pulled in And then the car behind him had really stoved his car in on his tow bar. And so I was like, whoa. And I drove around the back car and then pulled in, hazards on, immediately out of the car. Here we go. Vaughan Smith to the rescue. And I jump out and I was like, is everybody all right? And the guy who had been crashed into in the back was like,

oh, just a bit of a sore neck because he just got hit. He was like, but I'm okay. And then the other car, I could see the airbag had gone off. Okay. And their horn was stuck on. Oh, okay. Meep. Which has all the sounds of an emergency. Yeah.

So I was like, is everybody all right? And they're like, yeah, we're okay. I was like, I'm calling the ambulance. And they were like, I don't know. I don't know. And I was like, you wouldn't know. You're probably in shock. Yeah.

I'd be calling everyone. Fire. So I call 111. They're like, who do you need? I was like, you wouldn't know. You're probably in shock. Yeah. I'd be calling everyone. Fire. So I call 111. They're like, who do you need? I'm like, send them all. Send them all. Did you really call? I said, I don't know.

Send them all. Right. And they're like, oh, my God. Can you see any blood? I was like, no. And they were like, oh, okay. And then they asked me a series of questions. Everybody conscious.

They're like, yes. The lady out lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady

the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady I don't know about stuff on the road. That's fire. Send them all. Because they sweep it up and clean up all that. The only juice on the road was radiated juice. No petrol juice. Yeah, I still feel that's fire. You think that's fire's job?

That's their jurisdiction. Okay, radiated juice. Yeah. The police don't have a brush. A big brushy broom. I don't know. They had a hard broom. I don't feel they have a broom in the back.

So, yeah, I was like, well, who are you near? I said, well, the guy's got whiplash. And the guy's like, I'm fine. I'm like, you. And he's like, I'm going to go talk to a guy who's up here who's witnessed it. I was like, for God's sake, be careful. You've got whiplash. He's like, I'm okay.

And then the other woman, she had an airbag go off on her face. So I'm very concerned about her. Now, was this the one that caused the accident? No, no, no. He's gone. What? So he smooches the barrier and causes this insane accident and then just leaves. How did he swerve three lanes?

Was he not looking or something? The guy who has whiplash, he reckons he doesn't. But I reckon today he's w working up in desperate need of a trip to fans massage. Or golden fingers massage. Whatever his choice is. Just a cheapie, just a cheap and cheerful 30 minute back and shoulders,

neck and shoulders. Some uni student that's not trained at all and is making it worse. Poke around on you with a bit of deep heat for an extra 10 bucks and a couple of hot stones. So he'll definitely do it. He's like, I'm going to go talk to this guy because this other guy had stopped and he like reversed. Yeah.

But there was no cars in the lane, so it wasn't going to cause another accident. And he got out and he had the details, like what kind of car it was. Right. The number plate and everything. The guy with whiplash who says it's okay, but you know men, they just need to admit that they hurt. She goes up to talk to him and I go to talk to the couple that have just had an airbag go off in their face.

And I was like, oh, my God, are you all right? And she's like, I think so. And I said, the ambulance is on the way. And she said, what? I said, you have had an airbag go off in your face. Yeah, they've got to check you over. They've got to have a look. They've got to have a look.

You've been involved in a fender bender. So Kiwi of everyone. Look, they've got to check you over. They've got to have a look. They've got to have a look. You've been involved in a fender bender. So Kiwi of everyone. Look, we're fine. We're fine. And this other guy, then he's vaping the guy that's been in the crash. And I said, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'm just a bit shaken. I was like, you're probably in shock.

The ambulance is coming. Now, I don't know if you're supposed to vape when you're in shock. Yeah, I don't know. But I let him vape. Okay, yeah, right. Let the guy vape. You know, let him get a bit're in shock. Yeah, I don't know. But I let him vape. Okay, yeah, right. Let the guy vape. You know, let him get a bit of nicotine. Yeah, you've really taken control of the situation.

I took control of the situation. And did anyone come? The police came. Yep. And the ambulance came. Okay. But when the police got there, they told me to leave. Because you were just a nuisance.

I was just another car. Stopped on the motorway. But people, it was insane. People weren't, people were just like, beep, beep, get out of the way. Like to the car that was literally stoved in at the front who had radiated juice leaking out. Yeah, like what are they going to do? What do you want him to do?

He's just, he's got an airbag go off on his face. I don't know, can you even drive a car after the airbag's blown out of the steering wheel? Not easily. You're like driving with a saggy bag between your legs. Yeah, it wouldn't, maybe not. Yeah, but then the police are like, you can leave. Did you see the car that did it? I was like, no.

And they said, oh, you can leave then. I was like, oh, do you mean you can leave, Deputy Smith? You mean the hero of the situation? Do you mean thank you for your service, hero? Do you need my details for some kind of reward ceremony? Is there going to be some sort of picture in the paper of local hero saves day? I don't know.

What do you need? I'll send you through a selfie. Anyway, I'll get off the road. I'll see you later. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about the world's loneliest tree

It got me thinking because we were at Wanaka at the weekend and we saw the tree in the lake. Oh, yeah. And we were like, how did that get there? And it turns out it was a fence post. It was a fence post made of willow because they used to have a fence on that side of town that ran into the water to keep the sheep from coming into the town.

Yeah. They ran it into the water so the sheep can't swim. They wouldn't have gone in. They wouldn't have gone in. You put it into the water. Take that. But swim. They wouldn't have gone in. They wouldn't have gone in. You put it into the water. But then it was willow, and that's famously sprouty. Is it? If you jam a bit of willow in the ground,

there's a very strong chance it will grow into a tree. Like taking cutting. Yes. It will just bloop bloop. It will root. It will take root. Right. And then before you know it, you've got a tourist.

You've got a lovely tourist attraction. Yeah. A lovely tourist. Also, to the French guy that was skimming stones awfully close to the tree, don't do that. Yes, it's very rude. He was going in between the ducks and the tree. Don't do that.

Very rude. Yeah, don't do that. Well, it got me thinking about trees, and if we had any other weird naturally occurring landmarks. We don't. But it did. Well, I mean, naturally occurring. We've got volcanoes and stuff. We don't. But it did... Well, I mean, naturally occurring.

We've got volcanoes and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I looked up world's best accidental landmarks. Okay. And I didn't really come across any, but I did find out that we do have another famous tree. We, New Zealand,

Aotearoa, are now the home of the world's loneliest tree. It used to be a tree in the middle of the desert, but then it drunked. We've talked about this before. It survived hundreds of years, a tree in the middle of the desert, but then a drunk, we've talked about this before, it survived hundreds of years, a

tree in the middle of the desert. No one was quite sure. The roots must have been very deep and found a water source. But it died when a drunk driver drove a truck into it and killed the tree in the middle of Africa, which was known as the world's loneliest tree. Now we have the world's loneliest tree and it's on Campbell Island.

Okay. Which is a sub-Antarctic island, although it does fall under New Zealand's jurisdiction. Okay. Campbell Island is 700km south. It looks cool. There's a dock hut there, but you've got to get special permission to go to Campbell Island.

What? You can't just... Oh, yeah, look at that. You can't just rock up. It's more like a shrub than a up. It's more like a shrub than a tree. It looks more like a shrub. It is a northern hemisphere tree

that has absolutely no business being there. Now, it's... I did some research and it's 9 metres tall. So it's a spruce tree that more grows like a Christmas tree. Right. In a triangle shape. But they said because this is an environment that it's not at all supposed to be in,

it's grown differently. And they believe at one stage, someone cut the top out of it for a Christmas tree at the hut. Because there's like a permanent base there for scientists and people who study weather and that. So they might've cut the top out of it. So leading to a more shrub-like situation.

It's nine metres tall. And it was believed to have been planted by the New Zealand Governor-General who went down there on an expedition because he would go around to the different islands and shoot a bird and have it stuffed and sent it back to the British History Museum. It was the early 1900s when stuff like that made sense. I'm also sure that Camel Island was a home of horrendous whaling. And also penguins.

When they used to turn them into oil. Which is a story for another time. It's pretty grim. But anyway, they thought he must have planted it. But he didn't. Because they dated it. They carbon dated it. And said it wouldn't have been until 1922 that it was planted and he was last there in 1907. So who planted it?

We don't know. We don't know. I looked and looked and looked and looked, and I couldn't find anybody apart from accusing the Governor-General of doing it. So it's the loneliest tree. It is the loneliest tree because it is some 400 and something kilometres to the nearest tree because when it gets that cold, trees don't grow well.

Yeah. And the weather and the climate means it's more grasses and shrubs. So after a drunk, today's fact of the day is after a drunk driver in Africa killed the world's loneliest tree, we have a tree that inherited the title. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I arrived home from work yesterday. You would have heard before I talked about the accident

that I pretty much saved three people's lives. Yep. And then I talked about the accident that I pretty much saved three people's lives. Yep. And then I went to the gym. That was sucks. That still sucks, by the way. If anybody's thinking that exercise is better, it's not. It sucks, yeah. And then I got home and my wife was at home, my lovely wife.

And I walked in and I went in and I gave her a kiss. Yep. And I said, hello. And she said, hey, how was work? I was like, good. What are these pants you're wearing? Now, apparently, you don't immediately say hello and then follow up with, what are these pants you're wearing? How long should you give it until you notice the new pants?

I noticed the pants immediately. Okay. Now, they were a black long pant. Yeah. But not like a pant. She's usually in jeans. Yeah. Or she's got a pair of track pants.

Yeah. But it was the jeans. And then when I put my, because she was sat down and I put my hand on her leg and I immediately felt a different fabric. What is up with these pants? And I could see when I stepped back and I looked, they, at the bottom, they had a cut in the side that gave it a flared appearance. And I said, wow, you got some groovy bell bottoms. Now, apparently that's also not what you say. Did you use that cheeky?

And that all happened pretty quickly. What's up with these pants? Whoa, you got some groovy bell bottoms. Are they there in again, aren't they? You're asking the wrong guy. They're in. Yeah, I'm getting nods from the producers both. But they're not, I was explicitly told.

I mean, what's in again? Is it what everyone was wearing in the 90s, start of 2000s, like a flared, like a legging? Boot cut. A boot cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a flared but not flared like you're thinking. You know, like not as wide.

I love flared pants. Like it's not, the whole leg's not like wide. It's a skinny leg or a thin leg. I've seen some people wearing some baggier jean. With flares. It's up to bottom. But so it is a flare or it's not? I don't think it's called a flare. Yeah, I'd just go for like the boyfriend jean

and it kind of flares out naturally because it's baggy. No, these were like a tighter pant. Yeah, okay. Of a not a jean material. Were they stretchy? They felt like a stretchier pant. Oh, so maybe more like a yoga pant. Yeah.

Oh, I've got some of those. Warmer than a yoga pant. I've got some of them like a legging, and so it's all the way down, gives a little shaping. Yes. Yeah. And then has a cut. Yeah, I've got those.

Yes! Love it. And they're like a warmer, they're not like an exercise pant. They felt a bit warmer, but they're not a track pant material. Okay. They've got a... The only issue is I wear them when I go walking and then my pants get muddy at the bottom

because the flares hit the ground. Oh, my God, yeah. This was a problem we had in the 90s too, Han. Low baggy jeans, they got all wet. The baggy jeans hit the ground and the water just runs up, up, up, up, up, up. Yeah. What is that called? Osmosis.

Yeah. It's like you start absorbing water from your roots. So you're in trouble? You're in the dog box? So she said, they're not bell bottoms. And then I was like, groovy. And then I wouldn't stop. And then I was like, do you want some lunch, dude?

And she's like, why are you talking about that? I was like, because bell bottoms are back, baby. And we're going to Woodstock 69. And she was like, why are you talking about that? I was like, because bell bottoms are back, baby, and we're going to Woodstock 69. And she was like, you're an absolute fool. And then I just said to her, because then I came to work and I told you about,

she had some new pants before and you said, where'd you get them from? Where did you get yours from? Chanelette Pajamas? Cotton on. So that's what Sade said. I said, where are they from?

And she said, cotton on. And I said that to you and you said she's lying. Wow. Because Flex was like, there's no, she and she said cotton on and I said that to you and you said she's lying. Well... Because Fletcher's like there's no... She just told you cotton on. Someone that has

a Neen Bing hoodies Yeah. Yeah, I think Sade and I are in different prices. No, no, I think no. You think she actually isn't lying?

I don't know. Okay. But now my suspicions have been raised so I'll be checking the tag and the pants when I get home. Yeah, yeah.

And I just said where did you get your pants from? And she said, don't you dare pants shame me. I said, sorry, your bell bottoms. Where'd you get your bell bottoms from? Oh my God.

And she said, they're not bell bottoms. And now she's not talking to me. Oh, right. You deserve that. Two days in a row. Okay. Yeah, the pants.

These pants. So don't do that. Yeah. Unless you want to wait an hour and then bring up the pants? Or just don't bring up the pants, these pants. So don't do that. Yeah. Unless you want to wait an hour and then bring up the pants? Or just don't bring up the pants? Well, you can bring up the pants, but maybe don't. It's my tone that's apparently a problem.

Yeah. What's happening with these pants? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Well, some research has been done. It's not good news. How long do you think it takes to form a gym habit? A gym habit?

A gym. A gymnasium. Going to the gym habit. Because what is it? Where does 21 days come from? Yeah, it's three weeks, isn't it? Three weeks is habits. Is that like the drink two litres of water a day

or eight glasses a day, which has also been disproven? It's just to the individual, isn't it? Yeah. You just have to drink water. But everybody says 21 days for everything. Or is that a bad habit? How long does it take to establish a habit? Well, a new study has found when it comes to a gym habit,

it takes six months. Six months. That's ridiculous, right? Like, I'm in a really good gym habit at the moment. I've been going, like, every day for two months. Yeah, but that's... So if you stop now, or you still have to fight every day. So you're saying I've got to go

for six months and then there's no way I'll break that habit? No, because that's not true because I've done a six month gym habit and I tell you what was really easy. Not going to the gym at the end of six months. I tell you what was easy. I tell you what took one

time to establish a habit of biscuits. Yeah. Yeah. Yum. It's easy to get into a biscuit habit. I had a little soup yesterday because there was no biscuits in the house and I really wanted a biscuit. Now that's a habit.

And you don't, it's not like you can just go to the dairy downstairs or over the road. No, it's not. Another, so another, because I just Googled psych central, habit formation can take an average. That's one that I see too. Yeah. 59 to 70 days,

according to a 2021 study. But that's any habit. It doesn't specifically say gym, but yeah, a new study was done by the University of Chicago and Pennsylvania teaming up and they explored habit formation. And yeah,

they reckon it's, yeah, six months. That's ridiculous. Okay. So here's another one. Health line said it depends on the habit in question yeah um the habit of uh drinking a glass of water at breakfast or uh having a week of coffee was easier to establish than 50 sit-ups you see because it was hard. And then there's breaking a habit and breaking and changing it.

So how they studied is actually quite fascinating. So they did this in America with the fitness chain 24-Hour Fitness. So like your 24-hour, like your, what is it here, snap and are those 24 hours? Anytime is 24 hours. So they looked at- Imagine if a gym called Any Time wasn't. You can come any time, apart from after nine and before six. So it's sometimes fitness.

It's sometimes fitness. Sometimes fitness. So they looked at 30,000 people who went to 24-hour fitness over the course of four years, and that's how they found that it took people six months. If they hit that six-month mark,

they were way more consistent going forward right than those that didn't isn't that crazy okay i've always thought that would be yeah i've always wanted to know gym data on because you know you go to the gym on a monday and it's packed oh that's guilt and you know over the week and it just tails off and then you go to the gym after work on friday no one's there oh no one's there or you wonder if sunday i've never go to the gym after work on Friday and no one's there. Oh, no one's there. Or you wonder if Sunday's... Well, I've never been under the gym on Friday after work. So I am part of everybody that's not there. But then also, you know,

those days when you feel a bit funky and tired and everyone at work's in that kind of mood and then you go to the gym and it also seems like there's less people when there normally is more. I'd be fascinated into the data of it all. Like what days and times are busier Right

But yeah six months when it comes to the gym habit Which is so long So what is until then a hobby? Yeah I guess so yeah A hobby Someone with free wifi Do you have free wifi at yours? We don't have free wifi

You don't have wifi? No Do you have wifi at GeorgeFi? No, we don't have free Wi-Fi. You don't have Wi-Fi? No. Do you have Wi-Fi? Georgia's got Wi-Fi at her gym. What do you mean Wi-Fi? You're not going to watch it. Yours is a dark. You do yours at the rave gym.

You go to the dark when they flash the purple lights down there and then slowly they're brainwashing you and then you're going to go Jim Jones on it. In the Guyana jungle. You don't need Wi-Fi at the gym. Yeah, you do to watch the TV shows on your iPad. Mate, have you tried doing cardio without having the distraction of a television show? Awful.

Awful. Cardio sucks. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything.

But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go.

We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.