ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 9th November 2023

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

Gender Volumes  Fletch has a Starfish fact!  Top 6: Things tampons should do by now  Silly Little Poll!  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Good morning. Minus Hayley today who's getting her annual colonoscopy. Colonoscopy, yes. Timely reminder that everybody should get a colonoscopy

if they've got a family history of bowel cancer or are showing any signs of blood in the stool. It doesn't sound fun, though, does it? Um, no. No. The prep's the worst part of it. Once you're in the hospital, get a little bit of that prep full. You're having the time of your life.

Wild story from Sam. As Sam mentioned, the, what was it, nine hours yesterday where Optus in Australia went down. So that would be like Spark or Vodafone going down. One of the big telcos.

Nine hours. That's insane. And did you see all the photos of people like just kind of walking down the street like zombies, like not knowing

what to do. Like not on their phones, like on the train, just like, what do I do? Because it's, it affected a whole lot of other services and stuff right yeah it did yeah so everybody just was like well it was like yesterday the power went out out our way oh yeah i was in a higher center and they were like what do we do

and then i was waiting for it and one of the young guys like must be free the big boss is like don't bloody promise them that. They love that. The top six on the way. Yes, it is. I've completely forgotten what it is because I read it last night. I'm getting into a new habit of preparing myself. The top six other things tampons should be able to do by now.

Wow. Okay. I've completely forgotten that that was the one. There is a tampon that contends for STIs. Yeah. I mean, do you need that bad news when you're going through that, though? Might as well stack it up. Might as well get all of it out of the way at once. Like, you're already going through hell.

Yeah. And what's that news on top of that, you know? A UK-based startup is hoping to turn their specialised tampons into a popular test for sexually transmitted infections. Do they? I mean, we'll delve into this and you can tell us how it works, but does it, like, go a certain colour?

I will tell you so. Odd. I will tell you so. What's next? And what I can test for. What are we doing first? Volume on phones. Oh, that's right. I remembered something. You did good. The printer's on the... You're good at remembering the short terms, the stuff that just happened. Nah. Nah. The printer's on the... You're good at remembering the short term,

so the stuff that just happened. Nah. Nah. That was purely a fluke. That was purely a fluke. Yeah, there's a big difference between men and women and their phone volumes, it turns out. This really rings true for my parents. Yeah.

But I don't know about in my personal existence. Delving to this next Doja Cat Paint the Town Red ZM. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. On your phone how loud is the volume

and this includes the volume of which you will watch videos. The loudest. The loudest. Cranked. Right up, right?

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, we work in radio and have for a long time, so we're mostly deaf. Yeah. Quite deaf. I'm I did the test, and I'm still okay, but put me in a noisy room and someone's trying to tell me something. Oh, yeah.

That's a no-go suit. Like at a bar, I'm just like haha, yeah. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that is. I mean, I'm kind of guessing what that is. I'm getting the gist of it. Yeah. A bit of lip reading. Yeah, a bit of lip reading.

A bit of body language reading. Although sometimes, you know, when you're like, yeah, and they look at you like, no, I've asked you a question. Very serious question. I've just told you someone's- About ongoing conflicts around the world. I've just told you someone's dead and you're like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, a woman online is pondering why men watch videos on their phone at full volume whereas women tend to watch it

at a more personal volume. Do we have worse hearing? Is that like a thing? I just think we want to hear and we don't really care. Right. If a guy's watching a video

and the volume's real low and you can't really hear it... What's he watching? Yeah. He's being suspicious. That's shifty activities. Girlies, do you find that this is a thing? Absolutely.

That guys are louder phone volumes? Yeah. Just turn it down. Well, we need to hear the phone ringing. What if we're away from the phone working on something? Just be considerate. We can both be at a middle level. That's the other thing. Phone volume for ringing

is either silent for me or full noise because I want to be able to hear that I'm expecting a call. With my dad, everything's full noise. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Even messaging clacks. Everything, messaging clacks, phone volume and everything., clack, clack, clack, clack. What? Even messaging clacks? Everything. Messaging clacks. Oh, no.

Phone volume and everything. Whereas my mum, if it's even on, which often it's not. Yeah, because she'll turn it off to charge it. She'll turn it off if she's not using it because that's how mobile phones are best used. Turn them off if you're not intending on making a call. She'll have it real quiet. She's like, sorry, I didn't even hear the phone ringing. I was like, well, turn it up.

I don't need that interrupting my day. Well, it's up i don't need that don't need that interrupting my day but that's the general consensus is that men are crank it cranking it volume wise and women are just vibrate for calls yep and just low for videos okay what are they watching what are they watching what are they yeah now i don't trust what they're watching 11 past six next on the show. There is some, I think you'll really love this, Vaughn. There's big starfish news in the world of science. They've found out where the head is. Yeah, because where was the head?

You'd think the middle. I've always just assumed in the middle because that's the mouth. But also the anus. But what about one of the end? Yeah, but the anus is underneath, isn't it? Yeah, but that's where the mouth is too. anus. But what about one of the end? Yeah, but the anus is underneath, isn't it? Yeah, but that's where the mouth is too. Is it?

Is it? The mouth? Is it? No, the head. Yeah, but is the mouth on the head? Well, of course the mouth is on the head.

Well, then it's in the middle because that's where they always eat. Well, it's not. They've worked out exactly where it is. I can't wait to hear. Because what if it's

at one of the end bits? Is it the same? Because starfish has so many different sorts. Oh, yeah, because it's not, it's not. They've worked out exactly where it is. I can't wait to hear. Because what if it's at one of the end bits? Is it the same because starfish is so many different sorts? Oh, yeah, because you know those round starfish that are real? You always stand on the beach because they're real. What do they call them? Sand dollars. Yeah. But that's when they die and dry out.

Actually, that's a good call. I don't know if they've done the round ones. And then there's those really lanky ones. Yeah, because then there's the short little fat ones. And then there's the blue. The blue one's my favorite ones. Okay, well, the news I've got, the photo they use is like lots of arms. Not the round ones.

So I don't know about those. But big starfish news next from the science world. I'm glad they've only just discovered this. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Big science news, Vaughn. And I feel like you'll really love this story. Scientists have finally solved the centuries-long mystery of where a starfish's head is.

I mean, this is perfect. This is what I want to know. This is something that somebody who just messaged into the studio saying our jobs could be replaced with Spotify DJ. Let's see Spotify DJ tell me whether... I've heard Spotify DJ and it sucks. It sucks. I'll fight it.

I'll fight it. Physically. If it showed up, I'll fight it. And I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover. I'll make love to it. Spotify DJ is... I'll make love to it. Yeah. Spotify and DJ. I'll make love to it

and then get it a job here. Yeah. And then what's going to happen? Yeah. What's going to happen to your precious Spotify DJ? Then please tell us where the starfish head is.

Not Spotify DJ. Well, I think I took that a little personally. Yeah, you really did. I think I took that and then I came out a little aggressively.

You came out hot. I came out hot. Came out a little hot there. It's not coming for your job yet. Yeah. Also, text back and ask what that person does because 100% AI

could do their job. Yeah, 100%. If they're a truck driver, we're going to have AI trucks. Well, if they're up at this time of the morning. Yeah. Awesome.

You ask them while I give you the science news. To be honest, if I'm going to go out and say it's got to be iHeartRadio for me. Yeah, absolutely. It's got to be iHeartRadio for me. It does absolutely. It's got to be iHeartRadio for me.

It does work. What a wonderful place to listen to podcasts, streams. You can catch up on this show's podcast. And there's playlists now as well. Exactly. It can do everything. And it keeps us employed. Carry on, please.

It turns out starfish, a.k.a. sea stars, don't just have one head. Well, they're not fish. I've never thought about it. One head. They don't just have one head sitting at the centre because that's where you'd think it would be. In the middle, they have head-like regions in each of their limbs.

Now explain to me what a head-like region is because the mere head-like region contains a mouth. It's a head-like region, Vaughn. A mouth and a face. The face is the most prominent feature of the head. In this article, they don't go into like if it's got a mouth or a little nostrils or something or a brain. Starfish mouth's always in the middle.

I've watched those slow motion documentaries of starfish eating things and it's always when the middle passes over that the munching happens. Right. So apparently it's taken them so long because they're so different to anything else. Because they say that, you know, humans have what's called bilateral symmetry where, you know, it because they say that, you know, humans have what's called bilateral symmetry where, you know, it's a midline, you know,

there's head and you just follow it down. Shoulders, knees and toes. Knees and toes. There's a song about it. Yeah. Whereas sea stars don't have bilateral symmetry. They have five-fold radial symmetry. I'd love to see Spotify AI tell you that.

Yeah. Wouldn't even know. Oh, yeah, science. Yeah. That was science. I'd love to see Spotify AI tell you that. Yeah. Wouldn't even know. Oh, yeah. Science. That was science. I'm also now thinking they might have been trying to text another radio station because we haven't even talked about AI this morning. Have we touched on that this morning? Because we get a lot of the Newstalk ZB text.

Yeah, because what are they? They're ZB, ZB. We're ZM, ZM. Yeah. That'll probably be it. Maybe you did go in quite hot we also get the George FM text so I think they're a very similar number

to us right ZMZM we're all similar well anyway so apparently they've got like little head like

things in each of the limbs there's no eyes no eyes I think Patrick Starfish is where I base a lot of my Starfish Anatomy on because I just

googled Patrick Starfish and the big eyes are on one of its, yeah, in the middle. I mean, it's a cartoon. It's a fictional character. Lacking a brain, blood, and even a central nervous system. It might come as a surprise to you that Starfish do have eyes. Really? Just to add, further add to their unusual anatomy, their eyes are on the end of their arms. Yeah, right.

Fascinating. There you go. Because that's the... I read, and it was purely hypothetical, of course, but if aliens were to come to Earth, we expect them to be humanoid in nature. But what if they were starfish? They're far more likely to be like an octopus.

Or chickens. Imagine if they were chickens. Giant chickens. Big old chickens. And they. Big, big old chickens. And they're like, you've been doing what? We've been eating you. We have. And you're really delicious.

We've been eating you. And your unborn babies. I am so sorry. We will stop immediately. You better. You're so delicious on a barbecue. And then we find out they've got factory farms full of humans. And they're eating the babies.

And then fattening us up and eating us too. To me, Alex sounds like a real catch. She's got a Masters in Computer Science at Stanford. Now that's something

that would be bloody handy going forward, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. But she... Although, you imagine Christmas you'd be fixing mum and dad's router

and everything. I mean, you're doing that anyway. Yeah, you are. You're doing that anyway. Yeah, you are. You're doing that anyway. You'd probably just get it done quicker because of the... And that asks a lot of questions about general. I mean, this year at Christmas, you're going to get hounded about AI. Oh, yeah, true.

Because that's kind of reached the boomer sphere of conversation talk pieces. Well, she used AI because she's single and she is hot. So this is going to be very confusing for her. Okay. Yeah. But she's only 26. So lots of time. But she used AI and she fed it all of the texts from her ex to work out where she's going wrong

and where the relationship turned and then she can self-examine. So both sides, her texts, they're back and forwards? Yeah, the whole conversation. The whole conversation. Oh, wow. And then it worked out that they were only 37% compatible. How does it do that? How does it know?

It analyzes like tones. Because you know how AI could scan through Twitter and be like, 60% of words used have a negative connotation and this many are attack words. And this is the general feeling on that social media at the moment. Yeah. And so it went through and I think it analyzes the type of words that they used. If it was like affectionate or if it was just basic plain business chat.

Playful. And it said that they were 37% compatible. So this is textsfrommyex.com and you can put in the conversation. Right. And then it will give you like, this is the modern day version of putting your name

loves so and so and then doing the numbers thing and adding it up and you get to two numbers at the end and that's your percentage. This is way more scarier. Also you're feeding all of your text messages. It's getting to know you. to two numbers at the end and that's your percentage. This is way more scarier. Also, you're feeding all of your text messages. It's getting to know you. It's getting to know you and then, yeah, wow. Then people tried the same thing and, for example,

we were 72% compatible and it caught out my anxious attachment style. My ex and I got 44% compatibility. PSA, be warned. You might be sad when you get your results. It showed all of our highs and lows. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it's kind of really on, it sounds like it's hitting it on the head, on the nail.

I would like to use this, but I don't want to give it my messages and pictures on this random website. And Alex said it doesn't take your pictures, it doesn't take it into account, and it doesn't save your messages. It just analyzes and then gets rid of them. What about like a flirty nude at work or something? That's not going to help with your compatibility score. Insert, we shared flirty nudes here. Okay. That could help.

Right. Yeah. That's quite interesting though. But yeah, you might not want to know the results. You might not want to, but if you do, you can. Text from my ex.com. I mean, I guess if it was calling out some of your behaviour, then maybe you could work on that. What if you put in your current

partner? Yeah. But it could give you like where it went wrong and you could avoid that. Spice it up, etc, etc. Or what if it gives you your current relationship score of like 30% compatible? Well, it's time to either cut loose or buck up your ideas then.

A study of Gen Zs and Millennials in the workplace found that only 38% want to be managers. Oh, who would want to be? Who'd want to be? So yeah, they're just apparently, it's a huge downward trend. Millennials, GNZs don't want to be managers. Yeah, it's a minefield. Well, you got to deal with everything, don't you?

Yeah. And you got to deal with your fellow millennials and GNZs. Yeah, and you know we're nightmares because we're nightmares. Yeah. We're active nightmares and we know a nightmare can recognise another nightmare. So why would you want to,

I mean, you get the extra money, right? Normally with that position. Yeah, the extra stress and all the other bullshit. Excuse my language. See, this is why I can't be a manager. Your potty mouth.

My potty mouth. Yeah, and that's what they're saying. It's just, even though there is a little bit of extra money, it's not worth the hassle and the stress. Actually, I know, I have a friend who's like, though there is a little bit of extra money it's not worth the hassle and the stress actually i know i have a friend who's like um was has been offered a management position like two or three times and just keeps turning them down and they're like what why he's like i

don't want to deal with everything like they're just happy working in that in that office they love their job but they don't want the whole go home it's not it doesn't follow your home whereas if you're paid more and you've got the title, then it's going to follow your home. And then you're on the line for things that other people do. It's like, yeah, why would you want that? Yeah. Unless it's way more money, eh?

It has to be so much more. It has to be so much more. It has to be an ungodly amount of money. It just sounds like more meetings. Well done. You know, you're being considered for the management position. What are your financial, like, where do you see yourself sitting financially in this role? $2 million?

For how long? Well, I assume a year. Six months? Yeah, yeah. Actually, $2 million. We'll start with six months and see how we're going. Yeah. Because I'd probably just take that $2 million after six months and bounce, to be totally honest.

Yeah. Go and do something more fun. I could see you being a boss. I'd be a pretty cool boss. You'd be a cool boss. You'd be... Don't call me boss. Call me born.

I'd have some productivity would drop through the ground. Yeah. There'd be a PlayStation in the office. Yeah. Yeah. Team morale would be high, but there'd be no... Team morale would be so high. But there'd be no work getting done.

That was whenever I played the simulator games like Theme Park, Make Your Own Theme Park, or your zoo. Yep. Everybody was whenever I played the simulator games like Theme Park, Make Your Own Theme Park or your zoo. Yep. Everybody was stoked but I had no money. Zero money. Because you'd spend it all on funtivities. Oh yeah,

I'd put rubbish bins everywhere. Yeah. You know, there was never rubbish, there was public facilities, everybody was playing people too much. You were a man of the people.

In my simulated theme games. Yeah. Yeah. And they were so happy to be there. Just no money. I was bleeding money. Yeah. They were so happy to be there. Just no money. I was bleeding money. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Day. D-A-Y-E is a UK based startup that's done, what else have they done here? CBD-infused balms, some other gynecological health products,

and I don't think the CBD balm, just to clarify, was gynecological. I think it was just the CBD balm for other parts of the body. Don't put that there. And tampons. And they have said they have a tampon now that can also be used The other parts of the body. Don't put that there. And tampons. And they have said they have a tampon now that can also be used as a screening device for STIs. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomonas. What's that one?

Mycoplasma genitalium. Oh, okay. Yeah. And uroplasma. Ureoplasma. So how does it do this? Like, they're obviously not giving away their secrets. Well, you use it, and then afterwards there's a screening kit,

and it can detect unusual microbe levels and stuff. So like your rat test, you'd put that into like a big solution thing. I would imagine more like testing the pH of your pool. Get a little bit of pool water. Right. Shake that up. Drop a little bit of pool water. Right. Shake that up. Drop a couple of drops of thing, and it'll tell you by the colours. Huh. Crazy, eh?

So they said, we observed a 1% test failure rate due to insufficient sample collection compared to 10% recorded with swabs. Okay. Very interesting. Yeah. But I've got the top six other things tampons should be able to do by now. Number six on the list, order more tampons.

Yeah. Last one gets pulled out of the box, the box goes, sends a thing. Yeah, like a smart kind of a fridge, a smart fridge and just orders you more yogurt. Or maybe you would actually want it to be on maybe the fifth to last. Yeah, okay. You know, allow her for delivery time. Depends if you're on rural delivery. Yeah, that's true.

It will cost you more with rural delivery too and can expect two to three extra days of business. Number five on the list of the top six other things tampons should be able to do by now. Send an alert to your partner's phone. Just to let them know. Just a heads up. Maybe a heads up.

Now see, in my mind when I wrote this last night, I forgot Hayley wasn't going to be here. Now it's just two lads chatting about what tampons should be able to do. I'd imagine there was going to be a bit of female input, and we could be like, yeah, that'll work. Yeah, no, it's good. Okay, I'm going to leave your microphones on. This is good.

Yeah, good. Number four on the list of the top six other things tampons should be able to do by now, make a Netflix-suggested playlist. Oh, yeah, based on how I'm Make a Netflix suggested playlist. Oh, yeah. Based on how I'm feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Notice how you're feeling. It's got your favorites lined up.

You're not cancelled. They love it. The girlies love it. Good stuff. Okay. Okay, good stuff. Well, you might like number three on the list of the top six other things tampons should be able to do by now.

Get the jug boiling for a hot water bottle or a cuppa. Oh, yes. Kind of flicks the jug on. Yeah. Saves you getting up. Amazing. You relax. You relax.

Number two on the list of the top six other things tampons you should be able to do by now. Order your favourite Whittaker's bar the minute the first one's taken out the box. Yeah. Yeah. Bing! Another rural delivery fee, though. Yeah.

But it's going to be worth it. Hazella for me. It'd be hazella. That would be my... Too sweet. No. I think I'd go for maybe like a mint. A mint?

Yeah. Garner, mint. Yeah, garner with a mint. A mint? Yeah. Garner, mint. Yeah, Garner with a mint. The dark mint. And Hazella with your Fletch. Yeah, good. Thank you. See, I know my chocolates.

And number one on the list of the top six other things tampons should be able to do by now. Print you out an automatic discount voucher for a head, shoulders and back massage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, stop in. Stop in. You've nailed this list, Maude. Or could it just come straight to the house actually? Ding dong and then they

bring the Whittakers. Yes. Good call. That'll save you on the rural delivery thing. You're getting a little massage on that table with the hole in it. You know what you dribble out of? The dribble hole? You just kind of reach your arm around with little bits of chocolate. Yes. Have you ever tried to scratch your nose?

It's deceptively like once you go around the depth of the table and the way it's very hard to get. Maybe you could get a stick with little tongs or something. Yeah. Or maybe the masseuse could pop it in for you. Yeah, that'd be cool. Or there could be a machine that'll pressure it. It'd be a bit oily.

It'd be a bit oily. Are you going for an oil? Are you going for an oil? No. Oh, you know, you're right. I don't want... I was just thinking head shoulders, like one of those chairs you sit in in the mall

with a slightly forward incline. Nah. No, you want a straight, flat line. Yeah, on the table. And oil. You're right, though. I don't want oily finger marks on my chocolate. But we do need a spot in the table

for a hot water bottle. Like another hole cut out. This is true. Another hole, another indent, if you will. Good ideas. Yeah, solving problems over here. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I think I got a bit of a loose hole. Oh, for your headphone jack. Yeah, we'll get that sorted out. I know. It might have been an untightened jack. This is technical talk. I don't want to bore everybody with technical talk. That might be one thing people hate about your friends.

You do. And they bore you with technical talk. With technical talk in Dungeons and Dragons. That's the only downside, Vaughn. That's the only thing. It's good stuff. Well, therapists who are supposed to keep their, as far as I'm concerned, goddamn mouth shut.

So I wondered this because I always see interviews on podcasts or on news and there's therapists and she's like, one of my patients, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, they don't name them but you would know if that was your therapist and if they were like yeah talking about this couple and they did this and you'd be like that's me yeah shush i know well but maybe if you don't name them but then if they also were like keeping their mouth shut, we wouldn't have this juicy piece to talk about. I know.

Like, imagine if your friend or partner was a therapist. You'd get the best goss. Because they'd need someone to talk to. Surely, right? Do therapists see therapists? Surely. They'd have so much on their plate. What was that Apple TV show that was brilliant?

With Jason Seagal and Harrison Ford. He's a seagull. He's a seagull. Jason Seagull and Harrison Ford. He's a seagull. He's a seagull. Jason Seagull. And Harrison Ford and the chick that was on the Derby show, Jessica. Yeah, that was so good. What was that called? Bear with us.

It was Shrinking. Shrinking. It's really good It's really good Really good show Yeah So they've revealed Therapists have revealed Six things that they

Streams Popular Things they see That People don't like About their friends Wow First thing

Political opinions Oh yeah okay Politics You are a mouthpiece For the left Wild mouthpiece For the left You know me Jenny was one of the therapists She said politics And current affairs Oh yeah, okay. Politics divisive. You are a mouthpiece for the left. A wild mouthpiece for the left.

You know me. Jenny was one of the therapists. She said politics and current affairs can be polarising issues, particularly at present, with so much media input. So there you go. Politics. Second thing. Lack of... Oh man.

What? I know what this word means and I'm not going to be able to say it. Reciprocity. Reciprocity. Reci say it. Reciprocity. Reciprocity. Reciprocity. Basically when it's a one way street. It feels like you're putting in the effort.

You're dealing with their meltdowns. And they're not reciprocating. Yeah, they're not reciprocating in return. Reciprocity. Reciprocity. Reciprocity. Sometimes you forget Jared went to a private school

and he knows these words I think he googled it I think he googled pronunciation and then spout it phonetically Jared sent us a phonetic saying of that word Did you google that or was that private schooling?

That was just private schooling Yeah Reciprocity Reciprocity Reciprocity Which is the reciprocation, right? Of everything Is when you reciprocate.

Yeah, I believe so. Okay. Yeah, it can be anything. It just leaves the other person feeling undervalued because they're not getting anything back. If you're always doing something for your friends and they're not helping back or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Next is unreliability. Yep. Donna was the therapist that said that one. Yep. She said, yeah, lots of people just with that unreliable last-minute cancellations. Failing to keep promises. What kind of promises?

General, unpredictable. But the children are sceptic. Vaughan Smith, doesn't it? Yeah, so being unreliable is not a great one either. Well, you did cancel on everybody's Halloween party at the weekend. Yeah, but see, to me, cancelling at a party is different. And there's lots of other people there. But if you need help with something, I'm not going to let you down.

If I said I'm going to be there, I'm going to be there. Yeah, that's true. You always are. Yeah. Communication styles. Communication is key. So working out how to have your languages of love in your relationship is just as important working out communication styles with friends.

Yeah, like I've got these friends that always want to hug me. They do like to hug. They're high hungers. Yeah, sometimes I'm like, ugh. A lot of body contact. Yeah. Not listening to advice is another thing that friends do that frustrate their friends. They'll ask you for advice.

You'll give them some sound advice, in your opinion, sound advice, and then they'll completely ignore it and go back to that douchebag anyway. If they're going to ignore my advice, I love an I told you so. You love an I told you so. There is. There's no greater thing. There is no greater feeling than an I told you so. You know what actually beats an I told you so?

An I told you so doesn't even need to be said. Yeah, when you just give that look. When I look. And a slight hand gesture and a smug, I told you so. So those are the biggest things. There's one more. Differing values is the last one.

But then I find you wouldn't really become super close friends with someone whose value system was wildly different to yours. Unless they've changed their values over time or something like that. Yeah, that's what they say. That's why she says you don't stay friends with people you were friends with as kids, because your kids are kind of a blank canvas and then you could go to wildly different ways.

Yeah. One could become a, you know, if you're a blank canvas, one could become a Picasso. And the others that, yeah. That one that's just a whole lot of squiggles. And they put it,

parents put it on the fridge, but yeah, it's not great. Yeah, it's not great. It's not great. All right, silly little pole, do you go to bed at the same time as your partner? 50%, 52% said yes. 48% said no.

That's so close. Yeah. I thought it would have been maybe way more at the same time because I thought most people would work maybe the same hours. Yeah. I don't think it's an hour.

It's just people need a different amount of sleep, you know. Yeah. You might have someone that goes to bed and I'm going to bed and they feel holier than thou

and then they just scroll on, doom scroll on their screens for three hours and they're like, I couldn't get to sleep. Was it the light box you had on your face? Whereas other people could stab a little bit later and just when they hit the sack, they hit the sack. I went to bed last night at 7.40.

I wondered because I messaged you twice. I messaged you once at like 8 and nothing. And it didn't even say seen. And then I messaged you at like 9 something when I was going to bed and nothing. Yeah, I know. I woke up to all your messages. I was like, yeah. I just started falling asleep.

I was like, I guess I... That rules, man. I wish I could do that. Oh my God, I know. It was so good. That rules. So let's get some feedback from some peeps. Danielle says, it is currently 1.06 a.m.

He finished work at 12.02 a.m., so we're watching a program together. Oh, see, I don't know if I'd be waiting up to 1 a.m. just to see. Yeah, no matter what time we catch up at the end of the day, he's my person and deserves my time and attention. Oh, that's nice. That's cute. That is pretty cute. That's cool.

I work nights and he gets up early. We're like passing ships in the night, says Donna. Oh. Ships that have a little spoon and cuddle. No, the second one sounded more like a trumpet. The first one sounded more like a foghorn. No, that sounded like an instrument as well. Did it?

Yeah. So I tell you, I hear those cruise ship horns. Do they do the hurry up, you've got an hour to get back, or are they just like, we're leaving now, when they put on their big horns? I don't know. Because that shit just goes right through your body. Even though I'm like 700 metres away from the cruise ships.

Yeah, I know. It's like a real bass. Even the... They do both. Okay, so the first one's like a real bass. Even the... They do both. Okay, so the first one's like, we're about to leave because I've never been on a cruise, Carwin. I'm about to go on one.

Yeah, no, I've not been on one, but in Hawke's Bay, they're all summer, right? And so you'll be working in the city and you'll hear... And everyone, you just see them all going... It's like, oh, shit, quick. Yeah.

When I was working at a jewellery store, they would be, I'd be serving one and they'd be like, oh no, is that the one that we have to be there in an hour or I'll be leaving? Wow. Okay. So there's Donna and the passing ships in the night. Kate says, I get up.

I wondered how we got onto cruise ships. Yeah, we did get onto them. I get up early for work, so we have to shower together. I get up early for work, so we have our shower. We don't have to. We have a shower together at 9pm,

and I go to bed and read, and he stays up gaming until the wee hours. Oh, okay. They still have a shower together. A shower together. Let's get you clean. Let's get you washed. Monique said,

Call of Duty. That's all she said and then roll the eyes. So I know she's not going to be at the same time as her partner because he's playing

Call of Duty. Is there a new one? Yeah, there is. There's a new, because I saw her billboard. I was like, maybe this is what gets me back into gaming.

Call of Duty rules. Yeah, I used to be a gamer. Tom Jarrett used to be a gamer. He used to play Call of Duty. That's why he exclusively played war games. Nah, because I hate Nazis.

He is out there even 70, whatever, what are we up to now? 60, 70, nearly 80 years after World War II ended, this guy is still out there killing Nazis. Yep, doing my bit, Gerrard, doing my bit. I'm just shocked there's all this nerdy chat on the airwaves right now. It's not nerdy. It's pretty nerdy. It's nothing nerdy about killing Nazis.

I mean, that's something we're all on board with. Nerds, punks, jocks, babes. That was real good. And worms. That one where you blow up the worms. I love that game. That ruled. Yeah.

That ruled. The worms shooting the other worms. And you get a weapons upgrade. Yeah, that ruled. Katie says, because I need sleep and don't want to watch hours on end of engineering videos. So he's watching engineering videos. She's off to bed. Yeah.

I don't know what sort of engineering videos he's watching. Because sometimes I get stuck with a time lapse of like a new bridge being built. And I'm like, okay, you've got me. I'm not going anywhere until this is done. I've got to finish it. You know what I get stuck watching? Indian farmers. They're always up to shenanigans.

These dudes have got like this raggedy-ass old tractor. They well-writ some wheels so I can drive through a rice paddy field. And then they are just fanging this tractor. And I'm just like, you go, boys. And I get to the end and I'm like, that video was pointless.

And I've just watched 10 minutes of farming in India. Yeah. I feel like I really could get on board with that way of life. Megan said, on weekdays, yes. minutes of farming in India. Yeah. I feel like I really could get on board with that way of life. Yeah. Megan said, on weekdays, yes. Weekends, no. If he's up gaming with the boys. The boys, yeah.

The boys. Lara, if it's not together, which is my preference, then I have to go to bed first. No reason. Just a silly, goofy quirk. Okay. Hannah said, every night, he'll say, I'll come to bed soon, and then falls asleep on the couch watching YouTube videos. See, why not just fall asleep in bed watching?

Watching the YouTube videos. Keep them up, though, with the sound, I guess. And the light. Yeah. And Jane said, we go to bed at the same time, yes. Do we go to sleep at the same time? No. No.

Someone's on their phone. Someone's a scroller. Someone's a scroller. A silly little pole. A lady is taking her appearance on a date. I'm just going to get straight to the crux. I was going to say crotch. Not the first time I've gone straight to the crotch.

Let me tell you. Had a hand whacked away. Yeah, I bet you did. Do the work. Do the work. Earn your way. Earn your passage. Straight to the crux of the matter. a lady took her parents on a date.

Why? She took them along. I don't know. Maybe why she's dating. She keeps taking her parents along to a date. But, yeah, I didn't. I haven't. But famously, I did take my parents' places.

I just didn't think. I always took my mum into the doctor's office until I left't. I haven't. But famously, I did take my parents' places. I just didn't think. I always took my mum into the doctor's office until I left home. Until you were what? When you were like 17 or 16? Yeah. You went by yourself? No. Mum would come in and they'd be like, do you want your mum to come in?

I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, sure. You want to come in, mum? She'd be like, boom, yep. We'd both go in there and sit. But it was never anything serious yeah it was never anything

penis related yeah okay I probably would have left mum out there if it was if it was penis related if it was willy related yeah okay

but actually even after I left home I got what's that one where you get sick for a while and you can't drink um

I don't know lots of stuff vomming nah not vomming you're tired all the time um I don't know there's of stuff. Vomming. Nah, not vomming. You're tired all the time. I don't know. There's lots of stuff to that.

What's that one? You get tired all the time. And you can't drink. And you took your mum. And it's like six weeks. And your body just has to work through it. Glandular fever. Glandular fever.

Oh, yeah. I got glandular fever. Okay. And I took my mum in. How old were you then? 19. About to turn 19. That is ridiculous, Vaughan.

And when I was applying to go to broadcasting school, at the end of high school, we had to drive to Auckland for the interview. And then we were all just sitting there and they're like, oh, Vaughan. And I was like, yep. And then they were like, oh, are these your parents? I was like, yep.

Because they were sitting there because they drove me up. It was awkward. That's what we came up for. Well, it's a big, scary city. They're like, oh, do you want your parents to come in? I was like, they can come in if they want. I was like, do you want to come in, Mum? She's like, yeah, we'll see what's happening.

Dad's like, if I'm paying for it, if I'm paying for it, I want to know what we're getting in for. You had an interview with your parents in the room. Yeah, there was this panel of people. And then I sat there and they asked me questions. And then my parents sat behind me. And we're not quiet parents in the room. Yeah, there was this panel of people and then I sat there and they asked me questions and then my parents sat behind me and were not quiet, by the way. What did they say? Just like little noises.

Oh, no. If I maybe exaggerated something. This will be hard for the listener to believe, but sometimes I'll exaggerate this. For the purpose of a yarn. Oh, no. As if. Like that Right

And then when I got into Broadcasting school I didn't even know It was a thing Until like years later They were like Vaughn's the only person That's ever brought his parents

Into the interview And look at you now Aren't you thriving And independent now I'd take them now Yeah would you I'd take them now If I had one

What are you up to I might ring my mum Before my next Dentist's appointment So she can come in Yeah she can come in Yeah and hold my hand because it hurts. But do you think this woman was so scared of going on a date

or was maybe a bit nervous? Maybe she desperately seeks her parents' approval. Maybe her parents are overreaches. But then the article was definitely like she wanted them there. The vibe was she wanted them there. But just go on a double date or bring a friend, you know? Not your parents. I think they are.

I guess if they've got to approve anyway. Yeah, totally. In the end, you might as well start them at the start. Well, so this is what we want to talk about this morning. Where did you take your parents? Where were you just like, yeah, my parents can come? Do you know, where did your parents, like, tag along to? Do you know, I think my mum took her parents on a part of their honeymoon.

Yeah, I was just thinking there would be parents that would have gone on honeymoon, but then if they're paying. Because straight after their wedding, mum and dad did like a road trip around New Zealand. But then that summer they did, they went to Fiji and my grandparents went with them. My mum's parents went with them on their honeymoon. But then I guess like, were they paying? I don't, maybe they contributed. They definitely would have paid their own way.

Yeah. I don't know, some families are close like that, aren't they? It's a honeymoon though. I know, the honeymoon. You don't want to be there for the honeymoon. Okay, let's take some calls. 0800-DARLS-N-M is our number. Call now.

Certainly not in a thin-walled Fijian beret? No, phallae. I don't know. I think phallae is salmon. Hotel room. Didn't even try. 0800-DARLS-AT-EMERSON number. Give us a call.

You can text through 9696. When did you take your parents? Where did they tag along? We want to know. Give us a call. A girl's brought her parents along to a date. And the guy was like, what? Why?

What are they doing here? I don't want to meet them today. It's the first date. It was Bumble too. So like, not expected. Yeah. Also, it's a little bit of a, this is what I'm going to get in 30 years. Oh, yeah, that's true.

So maybe she's like, check out how hot my mum is. What you're making today is a future investment. This is me in 30 years with the mum. Oh yeah, that's true. So maybe she's like, check out how hot my mum is. What you're making today is a future investment. This is me in 30 years. I mean, you could just show a photo maybe. This is my mum. Photo versus this is my mum in person. A ping pong show in Thailand, somebody messaged it. What?

Did they know what it was going to be? Because if the ping pong show is the only part of the show, there's a whole lot of other things that happen at the show. Right. I've never been to one of these. I regret going to be. Because the ping pong show is the only part of the show. There's a whole lot of other things that happen at the show. Right. I've never been to one of these. I regret going to one. Yeah. Certainly not what I thought.

No. Yeah. I took my mum, my sister, and her husband on my honeymoon. They were over from America for the wedding, so I just had them tag along for the honeymoon. Again, were they paying? Sweet. Yeah, you'd get the honeymoon suite.

There'd be hopefully a few rooms down. Well, rooms well away. Well away. My dad came to our staff Christmas party as my plus one. I worked at a fishing shop. Oh, dad would love that. He'd be able to talk about burley and flies and sinkers and stuff. And jigs.

Soft bait. Jigs. I'm out of fishing things. I. And jigs. Soft bait. Jigs. I'm out of fishing things. I've got one more. Shimano. Waders. Shimano gears. Oh, yeah, yeah, Shimano.

Shimano gears on his boat rod. Yeah. My boyfriend, now husband, spent a year travelling South East Asia. My parents met us in Thailand for a few weeks. We somehow got ushered into a ping pong show. That's the second one. That's not something you do with your parents.

My mother-in-law did take us to the strippers one night to see someone she knew. Now that's I think I've shared this story before. She paid for our entry and everything. It was a very unusual thing to go with my mother-in-law to the strippers. She's just supporting her friend. She's supporting someone

she knew. And decided that was a night out for all of you. We'd been out for dinner. Right. Dinner on a strip. Yeah. It's like dinner on a shot. Yeah, yeah.

That's a show of sorts. Was this Hamilton? Yes, it was. Yes, it was. The day after our wedding, we spent the day doing activities around Taupo with my parents. That's nice.

Bit of mini golf. Wholesome. Wholesome end to that story. I took my mum to my latest hair appointment. I was going blonde for the first time and I was nervous that they would mess up my virgin hair. Oh, yep.

Well, what's mum going to do about it? Just tell them off. Full Karen, yeah. Tell them off. Yeah. You always, if you're not a teller off, you need to travel with someone who does tell off people. When I was 17, I took my parents to my first work do

so that I could drink. Three KGBs later, my dad had to piggyback me to the car. That's brilliant. That's so funny. I pine for the days where three KGBs touch the sides. Yeah, they don't even touch the sides now, do they? There's so many. Took my mother-in-law to

Europe with my three-year-old son. Left them in the Netherlands while the husband and I did a side trip to Scandinavia. Okay, you took the babysitter there. Yeah, that's good planning. Hot way. My mum and dad were at my hen's do. Mums always go to hen's do. That's the first time I did a side trip to Scandinavia. Oh, so you took a babysitter there. Yeah, that's good planning. Hot way. My mum and dad were at my hen's do. Mums always go to hen's do. That's the first time I've heard of a dad going to a hen's do.

Recently, as last year, my mate had his in-laws join him on his honeymoon, which was in a camper through the Coromandel. Oh, no, no, no. Beds almost side by side. Oh, no, no, no. Get a different camper. They were out overseas travelling for the wedding, but like... Get two campers.

Get two campers. Yeah, get two campers. Get two different camper. They were out overseas travelling for the wedding, but like... Get two campers. Get two campers. Yeah, get two campers. Get two campers. Does ping pong show code for something, says somebody? That's something you can Google on your own time. Yeah, I think you need to Google that. Or maybe don't. Yeah.

And just assume the worst. If you're Googling, do it away from eyes and not on the work network. I went to the red light district in Amsterdam with my in-laws. Very awkward. Yeah, that whole place is very Amsterdam with my in-laws. Very awkward. Yeah, that whole place is very awkward. Father in law tapping on the windows. Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, no. That's like goldfish. Don't tap on the bowl. Yeah, because it's sound reverberates and gives them a headache. Yeah, don't do that. Play Zed-N. Fletch for the nightly. Play Zed-N. The first time I saw these beautiful creations yesterday,

it popped up on social media and the person that shared it is a girl I know called a lady, a female, a woman. Yep. Now I'm panicking about how she would like to be known. Okay, you're cancelled. A woman called Louise who I knew because she had those Balenciaga Crocs. Oh, yeah. Remember when Balenciaga worked with Crocs and it was like high heel Crocs

and she was wearing them and she's like, they're the only pair in New Zealand. And then she told me how much they cost and I had a heart attack and I had to be resuscitated. Yep. Now, she shared this yesterday and I was like, what's going on? This can't be available for the general public. This must be like an art one-off piece.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can tell you no you can buy the new mcdonald's crocs collab from platypus the shoe place not our platypus if you just find a platypus who's walking them they might not be platypus that's a different platypus yeah um okay so there are different i i like i think I'd be the red ones So there's different Sorts of Crocs That's standard There's different Crocs

You have got That's the McDonald's Crocs Classic Clog RRP $149.99 Because they're Limited edition Crocs

Yeah because Maybe I could pull off The Hamburgluons I don't think I'm A Grimace Crocs I want the Grimace Crocs Cozy Sandal It's a sandal

More than traditional Crocs So it doesn't haveimace Crocs cozy sandal. It's a sandal more than traditional Crocs, so it doesn't have the four-wheel drive mode where you put the straps down around the back of the ankle and they hold onto your feet a little bit better. That's what I put it in. That's the mode I put it in if I'm wearing them out in the paddock. Yep. You put the bag on your Crocs.

I love them. You'd get your Grimace purple fluffy stuff all dirty. Crocs. That'd be for special outings. That'd be for special outings because they've got a fur lining. Yeah. The sandal. Now, Birdie, that is a yellow Croc.

It's a classic clog. That's $149 as well. Yep. And they come with their own gibbets. You can actually buy just a pack of gibbets as well. You can buy a pack of gibbets. Five pack of gibbets for $50. I love this.

Now, as you will check behind you on the screen, Mick Cafe, a subsidiary of McDonald's, is a show sponsor. Show sponsor. I'm wondering why we're not foot up in crock right now. You ought to call in a big favour. I think we call in a favour from the show's sponsor and get some crocs on some feet.

They're so good. I have sent them to some people I know who are, let's not call them anti-crocs, let's call them crocs adjacent, who said, Vaughn, you are horrendous. I will not be seen with you if you're wearing those. To which I say, well, I guess you find out who your real friends are

when you put on a pair of purple fur-lined crocs with Grimace eyes on them. Because Grimace is my, like, as far as corporate entities go, there's no one above Grimace. He's the ultimate. He's told me all the while it's all right to be a bit heavier around the waist. You know, I like that. He's a pear-shaped boy. And I love my purple Grimace. And purple kind of goes with everything, doesn't it You know, I like that. Good stuff. He's a pear-shaped boy. Yeah. And I love my purple grimace.

And purple kind of goes with everything, doesn't it? Yeah. People are always saying that. Vaughan, royal purple goes with everything. Yeah. It will go with your royal purple velour tracksuit very well. So well so that even mentioning that, I've just shot up David Hartnell's best dress list.

Does he still do that? Weird early 2000s reference. I don't know if he does that. Yeah. Yeah. David Hartnell did a gossip column, and he would do a best dress list. Does he still do that? Weird early 2000s reference. I don't know if he does that. Yeah. David Hartnell did a gossip column and he would do a best dress list.

Which he never made. Not even close. But with these you 100% would. Top of the list. 100%. Immediately top of the list. These are going to sell out.

These are going to sell out. You're not getting a pair they're going to go like crazy. They're just Who knew? Chef's kiss. You were so excited. You were so excited you were so excited partly because

it was so unexpected yeah I love the unexpected and so when they were like Crocs are gonna collab with Maccas I was like this is

oh my god okay so apparently they're doing a crock through like a drive through at McDonald's Britamar near me that's near my house

that's okay so only Wednesday Thursday Friday guys guess what Wednesday's gone two days left Like a drive-thru at McDonald's Britamar near me. That's near my house. That's okay. So only Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Guys, guess what? Wednesday's gone. Two days left. Two days left. From between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. I guess we know what you're doing after the show.

I'll go for a look. Go for a look. A little nosy. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hey, you on the phone. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Bye-bye. Last time we did this, we were doing the live stage show. Yeah. And mum was there.

Yeah, mum was there. Guess her name. But then somebody, when mum came up on stage, Is that right? Screaming out dad's name because they recognised him. They were like, I know those people. His name's Mark. His name's Mark.

I'm like, that's not how the game works. Yeah, they ruined the game, didn't they? They kind of ruined the dad buzz, but not the mum buzz. Okay, joining us is Sophie. Good morning, Sophie. Good morning. Lovely name. Vaughn will have five questions to ask you about your mum

and then 15 seconds to try and guess her name. Yeah. Okay. Good morning, Sophie. Good morning. Yeah. Okay. Oh, good morning, Sophie. Good morning. Hi. Hi, hi, hi. Can we hum?

Do you mind if you and I hum just to get in sync? Oh, you've got a blinker on. We can hum. Okay, ready? I do have a blinker on. You start. Now, will the blinker... The blinker may interfere with the hum frequencies.

Okay. But I don't want you to not indicate. So where are we at? What are we doing? Are you pulled over? Are we just pulled over? I'm just pulled over, yeah. Okay. I didn't think I'd get through, to not indicate. So where are we at? What are we doing? Are you pulled over? Are we just pulled over? I'm just pulled over, yeah. I didn't think I'd get through, to be honest. Well, here we are, Sophie, playing the game. Okay.

Turn your blinker off for just a second. Oh, we're not humming you? And then you start humming, Sophie, and I'm going to match your hum. Oh, goodness. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that felt good. I think you're in tune now. It felt really good. I think that hum. Okay, great hum, Sophie.

Yeah. Sophie. Is this how like Calvin Cruiksham and Deb Weber, is this how they start their shows? They get everyone to hum? Hum, tick. All right, what are your mum's siblings' names? Oh, we've got Jan and Bronwyn.

Jan and Bronwyn. Older. Yeah, okay. Older. Yeah, okay. Older school names. Not necessarily old age-wise, but more of a traditional name set. So you're going to get more into your territories of your Judith. Judith. Your Judith.

Jill. Your Jill. With a J. See, a Tracy would be a bit. Might get your Ann's, might get your Karens. Yeah. Do you feel like a Tracy's too out there? I think Tracy's too young.

What were their names again, just to confirm? Jan and Bronwyn. Jan. Jan and Bronny. And Bronwyn. So three girls. I'd go Barbara. Put a Barbara down.

I'm not going to go with Judith because I don't think you'd go Jude and Jan. You might, though. You might regret crossing that out. I might leave Judith on the list. I'm not going to go with Judith because I don't think you'd go Jude and Chan. You might, though. You might regret crossing that out. I might leave Judith on the list. I'm going to put Judith back on the list. Okay. I also think you might get a Deborah. Yep.

Okay. A Deborah. Did you put a Barb down? Did you put my suggestion of a Barbara? I'll put a Barb down. That sits good, actually. Sits well with me. Oh, but Barbara and Bronwyn.

Again, you're allowed to name kids with the same first letter. Yeah, I know you a Barb down. That sits good, actually. Sits well with me. Oh, but Barbara and Bronwyn. Again, you're allowed to name kids with the same first letter. Yeah, I know you are. Yeah. It was back in the day, too. There was less letters in the alphabet, of course. You had less choice. There's only 10. I might put a Ray one.

Beg your pardon? Does Mum have any pets? Not currently, unfortunately. Oh, no. Tell me about the pets of the past. Oh, we've had many pets of the past. The most recent was a cat called Chubby. Chubby the cat.

Oh, Chubby the cat. And it's too soon for Mum to get a new Chubs? Too soon. She's quite enjoying having a no-responsibility dog. She likes to look after mine. Oh, okay, right. Oh, okay. What kind of dog have you got?

Sub-question. Blue Heeler. Blue Heeler. Like Bluey after mine. Oh, okay. What kind of dog have you got? A Blue Heeler. Like Bluey? Like Bluey, yeah. Did you get your Blue Heeler before Bluey? I didn't. I feel like Bluey's been around for a wee while. She's only a baby. People are probably like, she got a Blue Heeler because of Bluey.

Because of Bluey, yeah. Yeah. That's a cool dog breed. I just kind of wanted to talk about Bluey for a while. I know you love Bluey, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is that giving you any name? That's a cool dog breed. Kind of hints or? I just kind of wanted to talk about Bluey for a while. Pamela. Okay, I know you love Bluey. Pamela. We are replying a little bit of Lou Bega here.

Lou Bega is member number five. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My Papa Rita. Rita, yep. Sandra. Sandra. That feels, yeah, that feels good.

Also, the blue here is putting me down like a little bit of an Australian line. Yeah, okay. You might go your Sharon. And Kath and Kim. You always put your Kath and Kim names down. Your Kim. Your... We've got a Shona.

Your Margaret. Margaret. Shona? Shona. I don't know why it just popped in there. Yeah, put that down. Shona or Sharona? I don't know why it just popped in there. Yeah, put that down. Shona or Sharona?

My Sharona. Yep. Listen to a podcast about that song. Good song. Yeah, good song. Well, you know, you're young and you like it. That's the reason the people who wrote My Sharona still make six figures a year off that song's royalties. Because everyone still plays it.

Yep. And it gets used in advertising and stuff. Okay. What's mum's best meal? Best meal as in the best that she can make? Yeah, if she's cooking, what are you requesting? Oh, she makes a killer roast. A real roast meat of choice.

To be fair, she's good with all roasts. She'll do pork. Pork's the real tasting roasts She do lamb, she do pork Pork's the real testing roast, you don't want a dry pork No, she doesn't do a dry pork It's always a good pork But her roast chicken Is something else Alison, put Alison

I might put a I might put a I might put a Now I've Famous chefs I might put a I'm onto that Alison now I've like chefs famous chefs yeah I might put a Nigella

a Nigella Nigella no but when I went Alison I felt like I had a a real connection to New Zealand television

oh okay you know you've got Jude I've got Jude from Judith from Judy Bailey yep I've got like

um who oh big 90s TV Susan have you got Susan I'll go Judith from Judy Bailey. Yep. I've got like, oh, big 90s TV draw. Susan, have you got Susan? I'll go Susan for Susan Wood. Susan Wood, yeah. Talking Susan Wood. Yeah. I might go an Alison.

Yep, okay. I might have an Alison. I might go a Maggie from Maggie's Garden World. Yep, good, good, good. I might go a Colleen. Colleen, yes, good. I might go a Irene. An Irene.

I'm coming away. We're dancing around here. We're dancing around here. I like this. We're shh. Irene. An Irene here. We're dancing around here. We're dancing around here. I like this. Okay, next question. Next question. What year was mum born? This is just to make sure we're on the right track. Quick one.

You sure you want to ask that question? No. Oh my God, no. You've doubted my mind. No, it's just rude to ask a lady's name. It is. That's why I always, I don't say how old is your mum, I say what year was your mum born?

Well, that's very easy to calculate. No, she's late 50s. Okay. She's in her late 50s. Yeah. Okay. Keeping mum's secrets. Keep mum's secrets.

Yeah. What's mum's favourite TV show? Oh, currently? Oh, she does love the likes of, like, Selling Sunset. Does she? Oh Currently Oh She does love the likes Of like selling sunset Does she? She's into her

Fantasy I don't know Reality Real estate Yeah okay But um We do love Uh

A bit of I'll go What's it called Um Okay that's given you The Oh I'm trying You say what happens In the show And we'll guess Yeah I bet I can guess Your mum's show Okay, that's given you it. You say what happens in the show and we'll guess.

Yeah. I bet I can guess your mum's show. Oh, go on then. It was on, I believe it was on Neon. Yeah. Oh, fantastic. And Scottish, it was Scottish. There was people that travelled back in time through some rocks. Highlander.

No, Outlander. Outlander. Outlander. Outlander. Mums, that was a bit horny, eh? If you'll allow me the H word. Did your mum like it because it was a little bit, it was horny light. It was horny mum names. It was horny light.

Okay, horny light. Janet. Janet, yeah, that's a horny mum name. Yeah, horny mum name. Wendy's a horny mum. Yeah. Some Wendy's listening right now will be like, he knows my secrets. I'm going to put Bev's a horny mum. Yeah. Some Wendy's listening right now and be like, he knows my secrets. I'm going to put Bev's a horny mum's name.

But it's also Shannon's mum's name. Yeah. She's a horny mum. Might I make that? Might I make that? Thank you, Shannon, for approving my guess that your mum's a horny mum's name.

Marilyn's a horny mum's name. Oh, yeah, it is. She was named after Marilyn Monroe. She's got a lot to look up to. I'm ready to go. All right, here we go. Now, 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Sophie, yeah, it is. She was named after Marilyn Monroe. She's got a lot to look up to. I'm ready to go. All right, here we go. Now, 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. Sophie, if you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop.

That's my mum's name. Your time starts now. Gillian Ann, Karen, Judith, Deborah, Barbara, Raewyn, Sharona, Shona, Margaret, Kim, Kath, Sharon. That's my mum's name. Which one? Margaret. Just like that.

How did you get to Margaret? Australian. I think it's grouped here. It's after Sharon, Kath, Kim. Margaret. Yeah. Sharona. Shona.

So I think it was in there. You've done it. The Australian vibe. You've done it. $100 cash, Sophie, is yours. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. And you have triggered the bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

And you have triggered the bonus round. One shot at dad's name. One guess. One guess. Margaret and Kevin. Oh, I went for a K, too. We were both on the Ks. Yeah.

But then it's always, quite often, it's always a Beatle, except Ringo. It's often not Ringo. It could be a John, a Paul, a Richard. Or a George. Nah. I think it's a K. Keith or Kevin. Margaret and Kevin.

Margaret and Keith. Kev. Maggie and Kev. But then it could just be a John or a Paul, you know? Could be. Okay, one guess. I'm going to go Kevin. Kevin is your dad's name.

Sophie, what's your dad's name? Stu. Stu! Kevin, Stu. I mean, they're both Minions names. Yeah. That's the other thing we could do. Dad's names are always the names of the Minions.

Or the Beatles. The Minions or the Beatles. Bob, Stu, Kevin. I mean, you had the British vibe down. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We were close. Hey, thanks for playing, Kevin. I mean, you had the British vibe down. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We were close.

Hey, thanks for playing, Sophie. Yeah, $100 all yours, Sophie. Well done. Thank you very much. Next on the show. Well, this old dog showed up a young pup yesterday, and I'm about to brag about it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley.

A bit of a project on the summer. It's going to come to a hot boil this weekend. When are you revealing the news? Maybe next week. Okay. Because I know you're very excited. I'm very excited about it. This has been the hardest thing to keep secret ever.

Keep secret. But anyway, this is related to that, but not revealing the details. Yeah. But I had to go and pick up some lumber yesterday. You know how you talked about how you wanted to drive into the trade entrance at Mitre 10? Yeah. Well, I mean, I just, I always see it there and I've never done it.

I did with the biggest trailer I've ever towed. I had to go and get a special trailer because the courtesy trailers don't, you can't safely have six metre lengths of lumber on there. What, like big posts? Did I send you a photo of this trailer? Yeah, you did. Did you get a little bit horny for that trailer and the driving and the manoeuvring that would have been required?

Yeah, a little bit. You got a little bit worked up on that trailer. A little bit. But I only ever go to buy like houseplants or like, I don't know, some paint. Yeah. But you said you wanted to go through the arms. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I love the barrier arm. You've got a barrier arm out as well. Yeah, that's exciting stuff. So yeah, I was after some six metre lengths

made of, you know, six by two, got like a six by two, couple of eight by twos for some retaining. Are you building a fence or something?

Are you allowed to say? Building a, oh, I can say I'm building a yard. A yard? For the cows. Yeah, okay.

There's an aspect of the build that's exciting stuff. So, I think people know. I don't think they do. I think long an aspect of the build that's exciting stuff. So I think people know. I don't think they do. I think long-term listeners to the show will figure out what's happened. They might figure out. And that's their reward for being long-term listeners to the show.

Everybody else will find out at some stage soon. So I was after, and I've said before, I really, and I grew up, you would have too because your dad was a builder, going in there and you're watching builders pick pieces of wood. Oh my god, the amount of times I went to a placemakers with dad or a plant store with my mum, I just went,

garden stores ruled because they had the trolleys. And you could play in the trolleys and look at the fish ponds. That was my favourite thing about Canada. Oh yeah, but we went way too much. It was so boring. We were never allowed to get anything from the cafe. We weren't there to eat. Yeah, right.

Which I felt was a wasted opportunity. You could get a scone in the cafe and keep your kids quiet for a while. Yep. So yesterday I was loading up some six-metre lengths of lumber and I was picking them out. I was being quite pedantic about which ones I picked. It's a mask. And I was being helped by one of the young fellas there.

Now, you call them young fella. Okay, right. You call them young fella. The best part was i gave him a back slap too while i laughed because i said i need nine lengths yep at six meters and so we put them on the trailer and then i said oh four of and four at 4.8 meters long yeah he's like wait and he looked lost he's like you you want us to put all these back? And I went, ha, ha, ha. And I whacked him on the back. I was like, no, in addition to.

Oh, right. Lad's banter. Yeah, is it? And I whacked him. And I was like, I've whacked him pretty hard. And he went, huh, and like moved with the whack. And I was like, I remember that when older dudes would whack you too hard. You'd be like, oh, no, you hit me too hard.

So I became the old guy. And anyway, we loaded up all the stuff. There was lots of lifting, lots of carrying. Anyway, we got to the end and I noticed he was an absolute panting, sweaty mess. And I was ready to go another round with another... He's doing all your work. I was doing the same amount of lifting.

We had an end each. Yeah, but he just works there. He shouldn't have to lift. They don't have to lift stuff. They have to lift. That's part of the Mitre 10 service. Oh, no, no, no. I'd just be like, you're buying this.

You get it. There it is. God, you wouldn't work in the lobby yard then. Oh, no, no, no. I'd just be like, you're buying this. You get it. There it is. You wouldn't work in the lobby yard then. Oh, my God. I could not work in one of those. Back to the garden centre for you. Do you know any time you go to a Mitre 10 or a Bunnings, you're like, where's the screw?

And they're like, aisle 42, 16, bay 10. And you're just like, how do they know all of that? Dude, I know. Just past the hinges. Yeah. Go up there and when you see a hinges, hook a left. That's exactly where you need to be. I got to the end anyway, this guy was like,

puffed, exhausted and sweaty. And Jared just has pointed out he's probably been doing it all day and I'd literally just arrived. And I had the adrenaline of a man that just was towing the biggest trailer he's ever towed. Yeah. So you're kind of jacked up on adrenaline. I'm jacked up on adrenaline,

so I'm lifting bits of wood by myself. You lift five posts and he's on his 2000th post of the day. And he was a sweaty panty mess at the end. And I said, you young fellas can't get back. That's what I said. Males are my parting words. Oh, my God, you're such a punisher. As he wrote me out my docker.

I know. You're turning into an old mate. Well, I had to take one because this morning I got sent a video of these NFL players saying, what year would you have to be born to be considered old? And they were like, anything before the year 2000. Anything before 1999. Anything before 1997 was about the furthest.

Well, you showed them lifting 20 posts. Sure did. It wasn't post, mate. That was somewhere else. I got the post somewhere else. Oh, okay. Yeah, that was another trip. Did all that by myself.

I don't care that much. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day It's bird week Because it's Bird of the century Voting time Voting closes At the end of this week

So if you want to vote for one And again I'm really struggling To decide which one Of these beautiful One of our native birds I'll vote for I see the tide

Kind of turned on John Oliver The US talk show comedian Who As New Zealanders Only could We're getting attention Internationally

For something That we should be proud of and we're like, stay the hell out of it. Yeah. Who do you think you are? You're not funny. Yeah, I saw that second-rate comedian and I was just like, calm down. Yeah, like literally this has gone global. The very people running the election are stoked at the exposure.

Oh, 100%. Can I start with some great news? Absolutely. Predator Free Wellington have said they have successfully eliminated rats, stoats, and weasels from the Midamar Peninsula. Well, that's lovely, isn't it? I belong to Pest Free Kumu, which is where I live, and I've got traps and I report my killings of pests. Do you?

Yeah. Peninsula, a great place to start. Right, yeah. Because it's a one-way-in, one-way-out situation, and they've set all their traps and stuff. For all their indicators, they've successfully eliminated rat stoats and weasels from Miramar Peninsula. So stoked for you guys.

Well done. Great stuff. Today's fact of the day is about the rediscovery of the takahē, which is a big, fat, poor kicker, basically. Big fatty. So these used to be spread all over New Zealand, and then went through a very large time where everybody believed them to be extinct. The last one, and this is reading the story of

the last few, it was all dogs, like somebody was hunting deer and then the dog dragged out a Taka Hay and they're like, oh no. One guy was quoted to have said, I tried to resuscitate it to the best of my abilities. One of the hunters whose dog killed one of the final Taka Hay. Kind of just make a seal around its beak and just go.

Mouth to mouth it? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But anyway, in 1948, some footprints were discovered beside, around Te Anau, and some mud. And people were like, these are too big. These are unknown. This must be what we believe to have been the extinct Takahe. So there was an exploration up into the mountains where they found a small colony of Takahe.

And is that why we've still got them? This is why we've still got them, and they all came from only a few breeding pair. Now, the idea was to get them back to 100, get them back to 500. Yeah. So when they rediscovered them and there was a breeding program in place,

the population stood at 263 in 2013. And they said, we've got to get this back to 500. This year, 2023, the population is 500. So we took... So we don't need to worry now? No, we still need to worry. We still need to look after them. Okay.

We're still very much endangered. That's a bird you can vote for. It's a success story of a bird that was believed to be extinct, found not to be, and now due to conservation efforts has been repopulated. And it's one of our good looking ones, isn't it? It looks fake. I said I saw one when we were in town last year.

They don't look like real birds. They look like Weta Workshop animatronics. Love. Big, fat, and apparently delicious. Hence why they were so low in numbers. And yeah, okay, right. Well, don't tell people they're delicious. No, no, no.

We'll lose the 500. We'll be back to... But then that was the story. Apparently, they were all over the South Island, and there was even a North Island takahē. Oh, okay. And then the first Māori and Polynesian travellers arrived and started settling in New Zealand.

Numbers dwindled. Yeah. Because they were apparently quite fast but very large so you could hit them when you were hunting them quite easily. And then Europeans arrived and were just like those look yum. Local chiefs were like don't tell anybody but they're bloody good and delicious. Yeah.

KFT. Yeah. So then yeah they were kind of eaten to the point of extinction. And then hunted by dogs in the light. Okay. But anyway, we're bringing them back. So congratulations to the Takahei. Today's fact of the day is the Takahei was thought extinct for about 50 or 60 years until rediscovered.

And now there's up to 500. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Howdy. Impossible phoner. Now, if you've never heard the Impossible Phoner topic, it's a topic that we think is so impossible we won't get calls.

You did say it had something to do with naked attraction. Someone messaged in saying, I hope it's something to do with Judith's episode of Naked Attraction. What's that one? Judith is the woman who plays the church organ, and you're watching this thing, and you're like, this is Judith. What the hell is Judith doing on this show?

You think she's really wholesome. This wholesome church going, lovely British lady. And she is a horn dog. Like it is what? It just like pivots. Yeah. And the whole mood changes. It's not that episode.

You simply must look up Judith, make an attraction and watch the episode. This is a latest episode. An episode that's just come out. Just the ad. Yeah. Anna Richardson is the host, and she described it afterwards as left wincing. Naked Attraction featured the oldest ever contestant, Ian, a 75-year-old nudist. He was looking for someone special after his wife died, whether that be man or woman.

Oh, okay. At 75. I don't know his previous experience. Do you think he waited until his wife died to become bisexual? Maybe. Okay. I don't know.

But, so the idea of Naked Attraction is the contestant sits there and the screens go up on multiple wheels. They start eliminating them by, it starts with the legs. Legs, yeah. The screen goes up and then you finally get to see the face. Sometimes I get to the knees, I starts with the legs. Legs, yeah. The screen goes up and then you finally get to see the face.

Sometimes I get to the knees, I'm like, no. And then I'm like, okay, I've gone too soon. I judge them too soon. I judge them on their shins. I judge them on their shins. Yeah.

Yeah. Let those who have not shinned cast first judgment against those who have shinned. I wouldn't last the first three inches of naked attraction with my giant finger toes. People would be like,

you're out. I judge some people. Oh, really? Yeah, that could be a turn on to some people. Really? Yeah, it might be an indicator of other finger-like appendages. Finger's not really a great selling point for the other appendages. So anyway, when they have picked the last few, last two, I think they eliminate down to one. They come out, they're fully nude.

Then Ian, the 75-year-old nudist who had at this stage been fully clothed, he goes off and he comes back on nude. Yep. When he's walking back out, there's the jingling of janitor's keys. Ian, the 75-year-old, has both nipples pierced and his genitals pierced. He's got a Prince Albert. He's got a Prince Albert. Georgia Burt's eyes have lit up.

So she's just like, oh my God. The host is like, oh my God. And everybody watching is like, oh my God. Grandad's got his nipples and his junk pierced. And his junk pierced. So here's the impossible phone-up. Do your grandparents have their junk pierced? Nipples. Nipples.

Nipples or junk? There will 100% be granddads or grandmas out there with pierced nipples. Because you think about it, 20 years ago, they got their nipples pierced. At 30. And then 50. And now they're 50 and their kids have had kids. Exactly. 100% will happen. Or do you reckon you get to a certain age and you take it out? And you take them out. their kids have had kids. Exactly. 100% will happen.

Or do you reckon you get to a certain age and you take it out? And you take them out. That's the other thing they have to currently be in. Your grandma can't tell you about the glory days of having an airport kid. All of her piercings. Top and bottom. When she used to get stopped at airport security in the wand. Do you think your grandparents would admit to you?

No. All my grandparents just would not have had. No, no. They didn't even have her ears pierced She was like I don't want that it hurt too much Well

maybe we have found the impossible phone-in topic 0800 DARLS at M we want you to give us a call now on the back of the 75 year old naked attraction contestant

with a Prince Albert and pierced nipples Do you know of someone's parents that have grandparents that have pierced nipples or do yours?

Or did they? Yeah. No, they currently have to. You know, none of this did. Can they be dead and... Oh, yes. As long as they were buried pierced.

God, you run a tank. I will run a metal detector over their coffin. I will allow for hinges of coffin. You'll run a... But I will run it over the middle

and it has to beep. Has to beep. Okay. 0800-DARLS at Amazon number. Call us now. You can text through 9696. Do your grandparents have under the clothes piercings?

Yes, it's the impossible. It's the impossible phone-in topic. And we wanted to know, after a contestant on Naked Attraction, the TV show where they get nude. 75-year-old nudist Ian was the oldest ever contestant and on the naked reveal had both nipples pierced and a Prince Albert. The impossible phone-in topic, do you have a grandparent that's pierced? Also, why is it called a Prince Albert?

Have we talked about this before? I don't know why. Do we want to know why? Now, we're not talking facial piercings. We're talking... Under the clothes piercings, which I thought was the... Yeah, genital piercing.

It's one of the most common piercings. The name Prince Albert for this piercing comes from the belief that Queen Victoria's husband, Prince Albert, had this piercing. There is, however, no evidence.

No. Marie, good morning. Nan is, however, no evidence. No. Marie, good morning. Nan is pierced. Yes, she is. How do you know this and whereabouts is she pierced? Well, 20 years ago, I suppose, when we were younger. Me and Grandad done it ourselves, pierced ourselves. Wait, you are the Nan.

Yes, I am the Nan. Oh, I thought it was your mother. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, so Marie, you sound like your mother's a conservative lady with that. Okay, and now, so now you're a grand... You did it yourself. Well, after 20 years in pain, why would you take it out? Wait, so it still hurts 20 years later?

No, no, getting it done hurts. Oh, getting it done hurts. Oh, getting it done hurts. Right. No pain. And so now you're a grandma with a piercing down below. Yes, the grandchildren don't know. Down? Like we did when they were there at school.

Wait, all the way down south? Are we talking like belly button or? We're talking genital. All the way, genital. And you did it yourself? Yeah, well, granddad did it for me. Granddad did it for you? What is granddad's job?

Is he trained in that? He was a farmer. Oh, so he'd put a few bloody ear tags in? Yeah, probably. Did he use any, like, alcohol or any disinfectant? A hand sanitiser Which wasn't very good I don't believe the hand sanitiser

Should go near the vagina At any stage No, the When there's just been a A pH Well, wow Did you use like a A proper needle

Or did he just use that Big thick needle Farmers use to get bloat Out of cows? No, no, no, a proper needle. Oh, my God. Amazing. And you've still got it.

Amazing. Marie, thank you so much. That might just be New Zealand's loosest natter. Thank you so much for sharing. She's a party animal. Some other messages in. There are so many. Someone said that's got to be cooler of the week.

We gave it away yesterday. Yeah. Maybe we were too premature. Yeah. I've been a body piercer for seven years. The oldest nipples I've pierced were a 72-year-old nana who had a new husband. Ooh. At 72, had just purchased her new breasts.

So she got them pierced to celebrate. So she got the new ones and she decorated them. That's like getting a new car and chucking a set of mags on it, you know? Something shiny. Yeah, but do you want... You've just got new ones. Do you want to be piercing them? You don't want to be waving a needle Something shiny. Yeah, but do you want... You've just got new ones. Do you want to be piercing? You don't want to be

waving a needle around there. Yeah, it's very close. The impossible fun and topic. Do you know a grandparent with intimate piercings? Under the cloth piercings. Yes. Wow, so many messages.

Where to start? My dad, who is a grandad, has both of his nipples pierced. He got them done in his 40s. There we go. My 80-year-old nudist uncle has his nipples pierced. Haven't seen nor asked about Prince Albert as I'm afraid of the answer.

So you might just have that energy. Yeah. My kid's grandfather has his his scrotum pierced. Is this a piercing? A scrotum. Georgia, what's a scrotum piercing? Where do you put it?

Does it go, like, right under the sex? Oh, no, too close to the gut. She sounds like she knows. You wouldn't get the back end done. How do you know that? Would you get in between the sacks and the cap? I don't know where you get your sacks done at all, to be honest. Wouldn't some people get their sacks done?

Hafada piercings. How about that? Those that are placed anywhere on the scrotum itself. An individual may opt for one, multiple, or even a scrotal ladder with any number of jewellery options. Absolutely. No, this sounds like an entanglement. Oh, you're going to have bigger.

You've got to be so careful taking off your underpants every time. I reckon people would get chained from the tip to the... Oh, let's not get that done. No, let's not get that done. But people do. People do. We're learning a lot about people's grandparents. Hey, each to their own.

I'm 47 and have three piercings in total, two of them are nipples. The other is up to your imagination. But are they a grandparent? Yes, I have had more. My children are 27 and 29, and their children that they have are all under 10. Wow. My grandchildren know I have them. Okay.

Yeah. It's not a piercing, but my grandmother has a tattoo in her nether regions. That's something that we're going to have to deal with. Yeah. When the first tramp stamp owner becomes a grandma, I mean, it's happened. It's all cool. I said it.

As soon as I heard it saying it, I was like, oh, that's already happened. Of course it has. I know heaps of men and women between 60 and 70 who have these piercings and got them at an older age. Wow. I work as a radiographer in an emergency department. Almost every genital piercing I've seen show up in the x-ray

has been on someone over 60. It's surprising every single time. It would be like a fun part of your job is, oh. It would be like a little surprise. I didn't expect that. It leads to an awkward conversation about having to remove it or moving the appendage out of the way so we can get a better shot at the region.

Especially if you're jumping in that magnetic MRI, that thing will magnetise it right out. My mum, who's a grandmother of three, had a midlife crisis a few years back and got both of her nipples pierced in the back of a van in a pub car parked during a motorbike convention. As you do. Dad, granddad, told us all the following week at Sunday dinner. Could have happily lived without knowing that information. Yeah.

I'm a grandmother of four Don't have my junk pest But I got a tongue pest recently for my husband Be good But also Namaste Grandma of four who is still Yeah Partaking

Namaste Did you expect this much? I did not Neither did I I did not I did not either I've I did not I did not either I've been a body piercer for seven years Another body piercing messaging in

Saying lots of older people getting body piercings When they just get to a certain age You both, you and I don't have piercings Maybe it's in our later twilight years that we get them I'm 59 and I'm a young grandmother I have my She actually uses the full word, pierced, and my nipples pierced, and I

have my gooch pierced. The gooch! And sometimes she'll wear a chain between the two. Like a wallet chain! Like a wallet chain on the lead singer of Sum 41 in 2003! She has a wallet chain on the lead singer of Sum 41 in 2003.

She has a chain that joins the piercings. What a note to end the show on. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere.