ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 9th October 2023

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

Plant Beats  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Gorilla Midlife Crisis  Vaughan's New Years Plans  When did you leave your own Party first?Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Good morning. She's a year older. She's officially, as of yesterday, a year older than 34. That's not a next age bracket though. Oh, you know when you're scrolling down And you're aged between Yeah

Yeah 34 is it eh? Yeah and then it goes to 28 to 34 or something Yeah and then 35 to 40 Oh no you're in the next Drop down menu Holland No hang on

One more year One more year Enjoy it Yeah I will enjoy it We'll delve into your Birthday celebrations A bit later on

In the show Yeah it'll be good If you can catch me up with what happened. It's a great day. We could fill in some blanks. It's a great day. Great day. Pretty great day.

Great day. Coming up on the show, the top six. There's been some research done that gorillas also suffer midlife crisis. Crises. Crises. Crises. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

Do they? Yeah. So I've got the top six signs the gorilla in your life is going through a midlife crisis. Crises. Crises. Is that what you're saying? Do they? Yeah. So I've got the top six signs the gorilla in your life is going through a midlife crisis. You'd think it would be easy to spot. You would. But yeah, great tips coming up in the top six. Next on the show. Well, people are being a bit tricky.

They're, um, is this breaking the law? I don't know The girlies are doing 100% The girlies are doing Something weird They're buying stuff And then they're playing

A little trick It's 100% Theft Well what I'm gonna share next I'm not endorsing it It's a warning Creative license Yeah

It's a warning A word to the wise Is next Okay so A word to the wise is next. Okay, so Marshalls in the United States is like a big department store. Like a farmer's? Yeah, like a farmer's. Like not super duper high end, but also not cheap. Right.

And someone shared on TikTok that they went to Marshalls and they were looking through the clothing racks and then they came across a skirt. I'm going to say the skirt's horrendous. But that's just a personal preference. Think paisleys and then just don't stop thinking paisleys.

Okay. So what you noticed was there was a tag on it which is Rachel Zoe which is like she was a stylist for ages. Right. And then she got her own clothing brand and stuff. But it's a posh brand? Kind of a posh brand.

Okay. Yeah, a posh brand. And it's got the tags on it, obviously, because it's a store. But then on the other side is a Shein label. Now, Shein is, if you don't know, one of the most cheap sort of drop shipping fast fashion online stores that sells predominantly junk like this Paisley monstrosity. And she's figured out that what someone's done is they've bought a cheap thing on Shein and sewn in these designer label tags and then returned

it back to the store. And then kept the designer clothing. Oh my god, that is I mean, that's straight out theft. Well, she gave a little something back. It's the barter system. It is, it's a bit of a barter, isn't it? You're trading the Lisa.

Oh my god, yeah, if you got busted doing that, you'd be Yeah. But you've got to think, especially isn't it? You're training the lesser oh my god yeah if you got busted doing that you'd be. Yeah but you've got to think like especially in like a big massive store like this Marshalls thing if you was scanning that back in as a return you just scan the tag. You're not going to know are you? Yeah you're not going to go that's not. I've never worked

is that how returns work? Yeah it's based on the tag that you the shop print not the tag that's on the dress. You know the dresses that people, not the tag that's on the dress. You know the dresses that people wear and keep the tags on them but, like, tuck them in and then return them? I do know that. Do those get a wash? How do they freshen those up before putting them back on the rack?

Because, I mean, the tags still on, but you kind of know. They just do that steaming thing, don't they? Yeah, they steam them. I used to do it when I worked in a designer clothing store. I used to borrow them all the time, go out on the weekend and then pop them back. With ciggy burns, though. Yeah, couple of durry burns. A wine stain.

Yeah, slopped bloody sweet and sour pork down the front. Give it a quick little steam. Yeah, I don't know. Usually when you return clothes, you can tell if they've been worn. Right. You could say that, but yeah. I mean, we'd do it all the time in TV, didn't we? We'd be in a studio with bloody nine tags tucked

into your clothes. Wait, and then they take them back and sell them. For like suits, not for shirts. Yeah, right. Suits, blazers. Yeah, right. Yeah, but they'd even dry clean some stuff. It happens all the time in telly. And because they've got one of those guns that puts a tag back on.

Yeah. Do they? The plastic cord tag. The little taggy things. The secrets we could tell about the world of television. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, some research has been done and apparently if you play your plants music or sing softly to them, they grow a bit better.

Oh my God, that's exactly the song I was going to sing. Is it because you said softly? Softly. Killing me softly. Well, you don't want to kill them softly. No. You're bringing them life. You know what? You got me in the mood for a little Fugees. Funyuns and Fugees. Funyuns and Fugees.

Now that's the explicit version. Do you have the safe radio edited in the system? Standby. Do you want Killing Me Soft? Not every Fuji's. Yes, please. Fuji's. Every Fuji song has the E for explicit beside it.

Yeah, well. Really? Killing Me Softly. Here we go. This one here. Or the original. We could do the original. Reminds me of About a Boy.

One time. I can see why a plant would thrive under this. I feel my leaves unfurling. So researchers played music to plants, which they say could pave the way for a new kind of acoustic farming. I thought this had been disproven, like, as airy-fairy. See, this is how they did it. So a song was played to plants for five hours a day at 60 to 70 decibels.

Now, it doesn't say what song. What song could you listen to for five hours a day? This one. One time. Now, they apparently use duckweed, which is a common pond weed that's used as a high-protein animal source. Oh, delicious.

So what they did is they played this music for five hours a day, and after seven days, the researchers compared the duckweed that they played music to compared to the weed that they didn't play music to. And the music weed was 10% better. It's a New Zealand native plant. Is it? Is it?

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! It might have, there might be multiple things called that around the world. Surely it's got to do with the vibrations, right? Because if you talk to your plants, they get happy. Yeah, so at day five, the growth rate of the musical plants was nearly 10% greater

than the silent batch. Good Lord. Protein levels were up 60%. And they were also more efficient at processing light from the sun. And they're unclear why,

but they just thought it was the sound vibrations. You know, our shared friend, Dr. Shawnee, is house-sitting all of my house plants at the moment.

Well, and he loves his music. Take the Yui Boom out. Yeah, do you think it would be too much to ask that he plays them a little? Why, I think they're in his, aren't they in his house? Yeah. So they're in his lounge.

So they'd be getting music and Netflix probably. Would it be too much for me to ask for him to sing softly to them? Because I sort of want a curated experience. Yeah, right. Well, I mean, sure, give it a try. Give it a nudge. I guess any kind of vibration, right. Well, I mean, sure, give it a try. Give it a nudge. I guess any kind

of vibration, right? Oh, yeah, you could charge all your dillies near them. Get them cranking. Well, just leave them on when you go to work. Just put it up

against the pot plant. But when I come home from work, the battery will be drained. Then what am I going to do? Oh, and that's when you need it, I guess. Yeah.

I don't know. As soon as you walk in the door. Yeah, right. And then you're angry and frustrated and your plants are picking up

on those vibrations and it's bad for them nah it's not gonna work well give it a go if you want those plants to grow no no I was meaning to

music and sing duckweed will be the easiest plant to grow on Mars yeah right according to NASA they were like

we're interested in picking it up is it tasty like what is it it's not like that watercress stuff they put on the top you know when you get watercress Yeah, right. According to NASA. They were like, we're interested in picking it up. Was it tasty? Like, what is it? It's not like that watercress stuff they put on the top. Oh, yeah. Do you know what a watercress?

No. Or those stringy bean things? No. No, I'm not into the pooha. What do you mean stringy bean things? Mung bean sprouts. Yeah, I don't like those either. What about on top of a Tom Yum?

Oh, yeah, not bad. Pop them on a Tom Yum. Yeah, okay, I'll give you that. Pop them on a spicy Asian soup. Pop them on a Tom Yum. S, okay, I'll give you that. Pop them on a spicy Asian soup. Pop them on a Tom Young. Silly Little Pole next on the show. Is it rude to ask someone at the gym how many sets they have left, brah? Is this when you want to use the machine that they're on? And they've been on their phone for the last 30 minutes.

Oh, my God, they're sitting on the phone. What's your rest time, mate? Because your heartbeat's gone right down. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Fletchford and Hayley's Sletchford and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole is about the gym and asking people at the gym if it's rude to ask them how many sets they've got to go if they're sitting on a machine. Yeah, I think there was this debate. I think someone posted a TikTok because they were like, oh my God, some guy just asked me how many sets.

Yeah, but now you've had time to post about it on TikTok. Just get off the machine. Get off the machine. Exactly. Go and do something else. Get off the machine. Exactly. Go and do something else and come back to it. When someone says, how many sets do you have left? It's a polite, nice way of saying, hey, I'd love to use that machine. I'm next.

Or maybe we'll do a set each. I put $2 on the machine. That's a pool table. That's a pool table. Gotcha. But some people do just sit on a machine. And we've all done it. Like, you go to the gym and you just get on your phone and you're not in the mood.

Nah. I'm here. That's it. And then you don't realise, but maybe you've been 10 minutes between sets, you know? Yeah. And so when someone says that, it's a polite way of saying, come on, man. Yeah. There's only one of these machines.

I never ask. I don't know why. I just never do. I'm always like, I'll just go do something else. I don't have huge... Do you half? Do you linger around and you just kind of look? Yeah.

But they don't notice because they're on there. If it's hard to move, it'll lose it. There was this lady at the gym and she was going between three machines in a pattern. I hate that. Now, when she just finished, let's just say, with the dips one and I jumped on,

she's like, oh, I am using that. I was like, yeah, I know, but I'm not going to, I'm going to be in and out before you even get to the next one.

You can't superset throwing machines at a gym when it's busy. Two max and they're going to be next to each other. Yeah. And even then,

even then, if you want to jump in and make it available for somebody else to use the other one while you're using the other one. Exactly. You just can't be like, oh, I'm using that. somebody else to use the other one while you're using the other one. Exactly. You just can't be like, oh, I'm using that.

Especially at your gym, Vaughan. You know, there's only two or three machines there. There's only three machines. Yeah, and a couple of old treadmills. And they're rusty and you get tears. And they're rusty. You've got to bandage up before you go. Yeah.

Yeah. And everybody there looks like old boys from, like, 1980s boxing movies. Yes. Yeah. Break your face. You're like, can I use that machine? They say, put them up soon.

33% of people said, yes, it is rude to ask somebody how many sets they have to go. 67% said, no, it is not rude. That's still like a third of people would find it rude if you asked. Well, now I'm never going to ask. Amy said, it's not rude to ask how many sets, but it is rude to hang around or lurk. We call that a set manager. A set manager.

Yeah, right. Because it rushed me. Yeah. But I'm like you, I'll just find another machine if someone's on it. Same. If I've got a super set, I'll just go, I'll just do that one next then and jump to the next exercise. And then come back eventually. Yeah. Liam says, absolutely not. I worked as a PT for six years and it's very normal gym etiquette to the next exercise. And then come back eventually. Yeah. Liam says, absolutely not. I worked as a PT for six years and it's

very normal gym etiquette to politely ask. If people think it is rude, they need to grow up. Yeah. Asking politely. Ruben, a middle aged woman came up to me between sets while I was resting and said, are you waiting for a friend or something? In a really horrible tone and I was so

pissed off. So yes, I think it is rude if you're going to ask like that. God, I feel like Grumpy Lisa messaging or something like this. There's only one Grumpy Lisa. Yeah. I mean, yeah, if you're only 30 seconds,

45, you're fine. Well, yeah. You've got to let the heart rate come down. But also, if Ruben was just like sat there, like you say, if it's the pull down thing and he sat there on his phone,

leant forward, and the person's like, oh, I could just, if you're resting, I could just use it in between. Yeah, if you just rest off to the side. Yeah, that would be great. Yeah. Are you waiting for a friend or something? How passing. Laura said, I voted no, but let's be honest,

the last time I went to a gym was about five years ago and I had no idea what I was doing. We appreciate your feedback. Yeah, we do. Laura. Not much has changed, really, in the last five years. It's still hard. Still heavy.

Yeah. Still the choice of music's pretty bad. Yep. Yep. We'll take our own headphones. Still lots to look at. You take your head. Yeah.

Big mirrors are still everywhere. Yep. Lots of big mirrors. Good butts. Yeah, within the last five years, the butt has prevailed. Yeah, big mirrors are still everywhere. Yeah. Lots of big mirrors. Good butts. Yeah, within the last five years, the butt has prevailed. Yeah, the butts definitely come through. Okay, good. Tash says, no, definitely not,

especially if they're just sitting there on their phone, not actually doing sets. You're well within your right to ask. Yeah. Because it is just a bit of a hurry up, eh? It's a bit of a hassle. Yeah, another way you could say is, do you mind if we share? Oh, that's a bit cute.

That's a nicer way of saying. Do you mind if we tag team? Yeah. No. No, I wouldn't say that one. I wouldn't say that. Do you mind if we have a three-way with this machine? Yeah.

You, me, that machine? Yeah. Let's go. Let's see how we can make this work for all of us. So there you have it. That is a little pop. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

This morning, before the show, just a mere, what, hour ago, we were discussing what we would do in the next break. Yes. And then I said, here's a croc story. And before I could even finish, Fletch said, I've actually got a better crocodile story. He's got a better one.

He didn't even know. No, my crocodile. And so, dear listener, we would like you now to text in. Would you like a story about how in Australia a crocodile orgy was triggered by a flying machine?

Or would you like a story about one of the most incredible moments in fashion that has just arrived. To do with Crocs? To do with Crocs. So kind of two crocodile stories. Yeah. Croc or crocodile? Would you like the new fashion Crocs story or would you like the crocodile orgy story?

Text in 9696 and whoever wins. You simply can't have both. Whoever wins, yeah yeah we'll discuss that story next okay well I've got mine ready because I have a suspicion that people are going to know

about this incredible moment in fashion but people want to know how the crocodile orgy was triggered no it's weird and it's weird to think about

well a lot of teeth oh yeah you know you have to wrap your lips around there yeah well no I don't know if I've got lips

one of those stories next, ZM. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, I'm not talking.

You've been outvoted. 80% of the text messages. You let me down, New Zealand. Crocs are releasing a cowboy boot. Yeah, I got it out anyway.

That is not part of the rules. Crocs are releasing a cowboy boot. Well, I said it out anyway. That is not part of the rules. Crocs are releasing a cowboy boot. Well, I said when we were... Wouldn't you like to hear about it? No, you can't because you didn't vote for me. You didn't vote. We put two...

If you've just joined us, there were two crocodile stories pitched for the show today. The croc fashion story or my crocodile orgy story, which comes to us from ifnglovescience.com. Great website. Great website. Great website. So it's official. And this happened at a crocodile farm in central Queensland.

Which is by Rockhampton. And this was the owner of the farm relaying this story to ABC News in Australia, saying that they had a Chinook helicopter, which is like a big military lifting helicopter, like a real bushy helicopter.

Those big ones, two blades. Yeah, two sets of blades. And he was saying that they had some photographers in there and they were coming in close to get some photos of the crocs from above. And the low-flying helicopter had a rousing effect on the crocodiles. So apparently it's the big thump and the vibration of the-

Because it sounds like crocodile noises. Yeah, and so apparently all of the males got up and were roaring, bellowing at the sky. And then the owner of the farm said that when the helicopters left, they made it like mad. Wow. It made them all horned up. Yeah, and so apparently crocodiles are highly vocal. Wow. It made them all horned up. Yeah. And so apparently Crocodile

is highly vocal. I've got a Crocodile mating sound YouTube video teed up here. I don't know how far into it. Helicopter. You can see why. Yeah. That's the equivalent of meow. He goes Come on mate Do your noise

Yeah Beg your pardon That's on the radio show I know Did we just break Some kind of Broadcasting standard there Probably

With that mating Rich sexy Very Horned up noise Isn't it So yeah It's apparently It's an aphrodisiac

For crocodiles That noise So yeah Apparently it kicked off And he just said it was wild and then the helicopter left and it was all on. Jeez. At the crocodile farm.

They're all la-la-la-la-la-la. Yeah. To answer an earlier question when we were debating which story to share and we talked about this orgy, do crocodiles have lips? They don't. No, I didn't think they did. Because they don't need to because they're mostly underwater. They don't need

lips for protection. Their teeth hydrate with their aquatic environment. Right. Well, there goes your idea of lip gloss for crocodiles. I know. My God. Is that what our lips are for? Lip gloss. No, is that what our lips are for? To hydrate our teeth? Yeah, to keep the mouth hydrated because otherwise it just gets...

It'll dry out. Right. Plus it'd be a bit weird. No lips. Just no lips. It'd be hard to talk. Imagine kissing, it'd be so dry. So dry.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, it turns out gorillas have midlife crises as well as us. They're distant relatives. They studied 508 great apes in captivity and said their sense of well-being bottoms out in their late 20s to mid 30s, which is the ape equivalent of middle age, before coming back again at old age. Okay. Which is what they say happens with humans, eh? Yes.

Yeah, right. And we're apparently meant to also have quarter-life crisis crises now. Have you had yours? I think it's just because it's so busy, right? Yeah. I don't know. It could be extended. Yeah. No, I don't think I've had a crisis. Everything's going pretty well. Everything's going pretty well.

Everything's going great. Top six wastes a spot. A gorilla in a midlife crisis is today's top six. Number six, he breaks up with his much long-suffering gorilla wife and gets a much younger orangutan lover from Borneo in Southeast Asia. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Goes for a little trip to Borneo and comes back.

Kids, meet your new mum. Number five on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis. She punishes a lot of Chardonnay in the lead up to any birthday. Really steps up the amount of Chardonnay. Yeah. Should I be drinking Chardonnay? Yeah. Maybe I'll try Rose.

She gets a bit bloody lippy. Yeah. I'm ashamed. She really gets out there. Number four on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis. He started back at the gym and cut back on the bananas. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah, he's like, I was eating a lot of bananas. Get back to this gym, though. Imagine a gorilla at the gym. How much would they make out of bench press? All of it. All of it, eh? All of it. Like, because they can rip your arms off. Yeah a gorilla at the gym. How much would they make out of Brent Benchpress? All of it. All of it, eh? All of it. Like, because they can rip your arms off.

Yeah, load up the bar. He'll do it. He's got old gorilla strength too. Have you seen a gorilla's glutes? Yeah, yeah, squats. I wouldn't be asking

how many sets left. Just leave that gorilla alone. You do you. You do you. Number three on the list of the top six ways to split a gorilla in a midlife crisis.

She's denying getting Botox and fillers But her face isn't moving much It looks pretty tight And she lacks the emotion to express it truthfully Just looking at your face Because you did say you were contemplating it And you said you wouldn't guess when I've had it It wasn't then because you were like

Frown? Oh yeah, no Frown, oh no Yep, that's still moving Number two on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis.

He's got himself a new banana mobile. Ticked it up, but he's always wanted it. Heck, he looks cool in his new sunglasses cruising around in it. Yeah.

Good stuff. And number one on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis. His hair had been thinning, but he went away from the enclosure

for a holiday to Turkey for a few weeks and came back with a head, back, butt, chest, and face full of hair.

Wow. Almost revitalised. Yeah, Turkey's the place to go. Turkey's the place to go. Yeah. Turkey's the place to go for some hair implants.

And just because you've got hair all over your body doesn't mean you can't go get it done. Probably cost a little bit more. You're a lot more, yeah. Yeah. Well, there's just square footage. You're a lot more, yeah. Yeah. Well, there's just

square footage, you know. There's a lot more square footage. That's today's Top 6. I just need to blow my nose. I've got a hanky. She's got a hanky. You've got a hanky. Where are you going to put that?

You haven't got long sleeves. Yeah, I've got pocket musket. And your pocket. Oh, you know, you don't tuck it up the rest. Yeah, it was the nana's trip. You know, I've got tissues here. Yeah, you know, we're in tuck it up the wrist. Tuck it up the nerves of the nanostrip. You know, I've got tissues here.

Yeah, you know, we're in a climate crisis right now. Fair call. And those don't, tissues never break down. Do they not? Do they not? They don't. They don't. They don't.

They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. Famously. They don't. Whereas hankies, they water, dip them in water, they disappear. Corn starch, I think.

Right. Anyway, I've been watching the documentary, the Beckham documentary that's on Netflix at the moment. It popped up and I was like, I don't look at that. I'm an old Spice Girl lover and David Beckham's hot. Yeah. Those are the two things I need. That's enough for you.

I've actually been finding it super, super interesting. So wait, is it episodes or what? It's a four part series. Right. Starting with like how they met and then him turning into David Beckham, you know, who just was the best footballer. Then it goes into his, he had like depression after he missed the shot. No, no, no, he didn't miss a shot.

He like kicked someone. Yeah, he got a penalty. He got a penalty. In the 98 World Cup? Yeah, and then they lost and it was all him and then the whole of England was like, we ate you, David. They bloody turned on him. It's been so interesting

and one of the funniest clips that keeps coming out of it is this one where like Victoria... I've got it here. Oh, play it. No, I don't. It's very, very funny. Where's the unmute? Hold on, where's the unmute? There, hold on, hold on. Grandad's having a meal.

Hold on, I'm going to redo it and take it off unmute. This is so flawless. You know, like, this is what Jared... Also, we both come from families that... Yeah, I know, but we just thought of it. This is what producer Jared does. Yeah, I know, but we just thought of it. I just thought of it. Hold on, I've got to refresh it.

I mean, I think also we both come from families that work really hard. Both of our parents work really hard. We're very working working class be honest i am being honest i am being honest did your dad drive you to school so my dad no my dad what was it all right it's not a simple answer because what did you get your dad to drive it depends no no no no no, no, no, no. Okay, in the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce. It's so funny. It's so funny.

She's like, because they all set up documentary style, and he just pokes his head and is like, no. No. Be honest. It's really funny. Because he is from working class, eh? Yeah. Very much so.

Grew up, like, quite poor. Whereas she didn't grow up with a lot of, she was, like, all over the show as well. But, like, I think it's funny they just, like, cause her out. It's really beautiful, actually. They talk about their connection and their relationship and whatnot and, like, the love is real.

So there's, because you haven't seen it all, you haven't seen all four Eps. I'm about to get into the stuff where they talk about the affair. I was going to say, because that's been all kind of in the news over the last week or so. The original Becky with the good hair. Yeah, the original. So Rebecca Luce was her name.

Luce. Luce. And that's when he went to go play for Madrid. Went over there and everyone was like he's had an affair. Was she the nanny? Was she the nanny? Yes. Was she? Yes.? Was she the nanny? Yes. Was she? Yes.

Oh, my. Former personal assistant. Oh, right. I think you're Jude Law. That was the nanny. Oh, that was the nanny, yeah. Yeah, had a four-month affair. Apparently, which he still says is, like, not true. Ludicrous.

So he says even, oh, okay, you have to watch that. Yeah, I know, I need to watch this bit. But the way they talk about their love, I mean, they weren't going to make it through that time and they were like being pulled apart. But hey, they're stronger than ever. It's a really good doco about like a great sportsman actually. And that story where she eats the same meal has come back up.

It's true. She just eats the same bloody thing. Was it like fish? Was fish or something? Fish and salad and something? Yeah. It's true. She just eats the same bloody thing. What is it, like fish? Fish and salad and something? Yeah. It's that boring. If it was tacos, I'd be on board. Yeah. I could eat tacos. Sloppy, slow. Breakfast tacos.

Yum. I could eat tacos every meal. Breakfast tacos are legit. Yeah. So good. Then lunch tacos and now dinner tacos. Dessert tacos. Obviously soft shell all the way. Oh, my God.

Whoever's having a crunch, grow up. Yeah. Do you get a dispensation to have churros for dessert, just given that you've been so good with your tacos all day to the Mexican cuisine? Sure, if you want, I guess. Yeah. What's the natural progression from a taco to a churro.

Tacos all day to a churro for put. Yeah. You'd have no teeth. Gotta do taco Tuesday. I'm starving now. I'm doing taco Monday. It's Mexican Monday. We all know FOMO.

Now, FOMO apparently was right back in 2004. What's that? The fear of missing out. Okay. God. Time, eh? I thought there was more like mid, like 2010s FOMO. Yeah.

I almost thought earlier. Okay. Oh, wow. Interesting, isn't it? How we all perceive time. It stands through the hourglass. These are the days of our lives. So we've always used, I still, I don't know if I use FOMO.

Do you know why? Because I never miss out. No. What about JOMO? When was that? Joy of missing out. That was where you were like. That was panty, wasn't it?

That was in the panty? Just pre-panty. Pre-panty? Well, now there's faux beau, which is a more recently coined phrase that is... Fear of bobbing onions. Fear of balls out. Oh!

For short, short wearers. Yeah. Fear of big oranges. No, it's fear... Oh, this is actually quite bleak. Fear of becoming obsolete. Oh, wow. actually quite bleak. Fear of becoming obsolete. Oh, wow. In a professional sense?

In a professional sense. In a professional sense. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. So this is like in a workplace. Yeah. Which is, they did like a whole bunch of studies around people and their fears of, you know,

science and technology moving so quickly, AI, that their job is going to become obsolete. We've joked about it because now you can steal people's voices. Yeah. They don't have any of our charm or incredible sense of humour though, do they? No, AI is not there yet, no. They don't have the same sort of...

But Stephen Fry, was it Stephen Fry? They ripped his audio book from Harry Potter, didn't they? And they've, AI's used his voice and he's like, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, you can't do that. So they said that they've asked this question before about like how many people, this is in the US, are worried that technology is going to make their job obsolete. Yeah. And it was like quite low in 2021.

And now it's had this huge jump. Because of AI. quite low in 2021 and now it's had this huge jump up in people who are worried about FOBO, fear of becoming obsolete. Yeah. Oh, gosh. What are you doing? They say... Good luck when the power goes out. Good luck when the power goes out.

They say here's some ways you can take to try and alleviate your FOBO, your fear of becoming obsolete. And then I've just Googled jobs that artificial intelligence won't replace. Oh, okay. And I've got a list that we can do as well of that. Well, basically their advice here is to just look at your career and keep working harder and making, you know, proving how invaluable you are.

That sounds like management. It does. Proving how valuable you are by working harder and longer and not asking for anything in return. Yeah. So you can not become obsolete. The alternative to working hard and looking at areas that you might need work on, they say spruce up a CV.

So get ready for it. What are the jobs that AI can't do? Agricultural jobs. But isn't there a new machine that – You serious? I literally watched a country calendar last night. He had an electric tractor and they taught it to mow between the cherry trees.

And then they were like, now that one last job for us is spring. So it did. And isn't there like machines they tie and they zap weeds? Oh my God, the zapping. He uses AI to recognise the leaves that are growing there and it will leave them alone. But any leaf not recognised, it'll boom, boom, boom with laser.

Well, that's not true then. Educators, I guess like teachers. I've been learning from Wikipedia since I literally went to high school. You're saying human resources because, I mean, they're going to need to fire everybody. But there'll be no humans to resource. No, but they're still going to need to fire a whole bunch of people. Well, then they'll need to fire themselves.

Well, someone's still going to be mean to someone. Lawyers and judges. But then you could probably have an AI. AI would take the human. Yeah, exactly. And then the lawyers, it would all just be like, read through this and do this, and it would take all the humanity out of it.

Yeah, and like document people, because, you know, lawyers don't just become lawyers when they leave law school. They have to do all that policy reading and stuff. That's all gone. Well other jobs on the list of jobs that AI won't replace, government workers and politicians. Well what a shame.

The one thing we could probably all agree with. Psychiatrists and psychologists. Yeah that's true. Can't speak to the soul can you? I was going to say they're going to have a lot of robots for old folks' homes Yeah They'll technically take on a little bit of a psychologist role, you'd say

Yeah Helping the old people Medical staff, doctors, physicians, nurses, dentists Again, I've been using Dr. Google for quite a few years And that's been doing you alright, hasn't it? Yeah, well Trade workers, plumbers, carpenters, constructions, builders Yeah

And artists and writers. There you go. I would probably trust AI to build a house more than I would just your average Joe. So why have you had some bad experiences? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, you know, put into a machine. Yeah. Lose the attitude.

Well, they do. They have the 3D printing. Yeah, they do. You could 3D print a house. Yeah. Probably not a villa like mine. I'm reading this very silly study. It makes me think pet owners are a bit insane, aren't we?

Do you know what I mean? Like the real passionate pet owners. Yeah. Well, your cat drinks out of a glass, so yes, they are. Why not anymore? I drunkenly kicked it over and smashed it through my kitchen. See, the cat had a specific glass. Rolly, we had two bowls when we first got Rolly,

one for food, one for water, never lapped from the water bowl and would always find him sticking his whole face into our drinking glasses. Yeah. So then we just converted one of our drinking glasses to his glass and it's how he likes to drink. We've had that for the whole eight years that Rolly's been alive.

And you kicked it over at the weekend. I kicked it over on the weekend when I got home because it's just on the floor and it's smashed everywhere. Anyway, now I've got to go back. I've got to go to Kmart. Did the cat give you like a judgmental look and a little bit of like a verbal telling off? Yeah, it was like, wow, wow, wow.

34, are we? Look at you. Grow up. Grow up. You've broken my favourite glass. So this is quite a funny study about how perceptive pet owners think that they are. The biggest result from this is that people, pet owners think that caring for a pet is more stressful

than being in both a romantic relationship with a partner or being a parent to a child. Because I looked at the results of the study. It doesn't say if any of these pet owners were parents also. I don't think they are. Because I feel like only a non-child

haver would think that having a kid was easier than a pet. Wouldn't you agree? It's weird because if you go on holiday, you can either take your children with you, which is not an option for a pet. True. Or you palm them off to the grandparents.

Which also isn't always an option for like a cat. Yeah, correct. So you've got to find someone to like look after them. So I guess that's kind of a little bit. And like an animal, if something's wrong with them, they can't tell you what's wrong with them. They can't be like, it hurts here or I feel funny or like a kid can kind of give you some clues.

Yeah. Yeah, this is what, that was part of it is like that pet owners are always trying to be like, what's wrong, what's wrong? Okay, what's going on? You've got a sore leg, you're limping. Whereas like you'd take the kid to the doctor or something or they'd tell you eventually after a couple of years.

When your kids are like babies and stuff and something's wrong, that's wildly stressful. I can imagine. What do you want? Just tell. Point, point. Do you need a tit? Do you need a...

What do you need? What do you need? Do you want to walk? Sometimes you need a... What do you need? What do you need? Do you want to walk? Sometimes they just don't even know. I mean, I feel... I mean, you're a crazy cat lady. Yeah, I am, but I've got... He's quite an easygoing cat.

Yeah. Even though, look at that, for the first time in my life, Rolly attacked me and I deserved it. Oh, because you broke his glass. Because you broke his glass. No, no, no, this was on Friday night. We got home and I was in a good mood and I was playing around with him and I flipped him onto his

side and kind of like pulled him around a bit and he just hated it. Growled. Like, never in the whole life. So now I've... What did you do that for? Were you drunk? I'd had a couple of bevies, but no, I wasn't intoxicated.

Wow. And I felt terrible. And then it's about the whole night groveling, hey, babe, hey, buddy. Sorry, buddy. So that's what you do when you're like, your kid makes something and you throw it out. And they're like, what. So that's what you do when you, like, your kid makes something and you throw it out and they're like, what happened to that?

What happened to that doll's house I made out of a huge box that was taking up half of the lounge? You're like, oh, it got wet. Buddy, I'm sorry, buddy. Oh, no, I see you worked so hard on that, buddy. Someone said you can leave your pet at home while you go and have a coffee with your friend or go to work. Apparently you can't do that with kids.

It's frowned upon. You've got to take them everywhere with you. We were all left at home though, weren't we? Yeah. A little bit earlier than we should have been. We turned out okay, didn't we?

We were all right. Fine. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Many happy returns for yesterday. Thank you. Thank you. It was my birthday yesterday. Your par-tay is a sort of a small function for you,

both you and Aaron, who have birthdays two days apart. Yes. It was Saturday. Yes. And it was a lovely afternoon. It was perfect because I talked about it. I curated the group quite well. Friend bridges.

Friend bridges. And didn't they work? Didn't they work? I saw different friends talking to different friends. To different friends. And I was like, that's a friend bridge. I was down one end of the table and I was like, I'm going to rotate. And I didn't feel that thing, you know, when you're like,

I better look after that person. They don't know anyone else here. Yeah. Everyone was just sort of, the bridges were bridging. Yeah. I've nailed that. Yeah. It did mean I couldn't invite some of my other

friends because the bridges weren't strong enough. We did learn the difference between Montessori and Steiner, didn't we? Yes, we did. One's German, one's Italian. Yeah. Alternative ways to learn. Yeah. And it was

nice. I learned about the casting of TV shows and movies made in New Zealand from one of Aaron's good friends. There was a bridge made. There was a bridge made. We were very interested. There was some Star Wars bridges there. It was great.

Yeah, there was a bit of Star Wars chat, which I liked that as well. Do you know what there wasn't? Dinner and Hayley. Because I looked around and I was like, where's Hayley? I said, Bourne, where's Hayley? And I like, where's Hayley? I said, Vaughn, where's Hayley? And I said, where's Hayley? And Richard said, Aaron's just taken her home.

And I was like, I beg your pardon? And we're not at her birthday party. Was it 3.30? 4? No, no, no. I think it was 4. 5-ish? No, it definitely wasn't that late. It was between 4 and 5. We left around 5-ish. I think I'm four. Five-ish? No, definitely wasn't that late. It was between four to five.

Because you guys left at what? We left around five-ish. I think I'm looking at my phone. Yeah. No, you're looking at your phone. You left that on the table. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, really?

Because we rang and then the phone started ringing. And it was on the table. And it was on the table. Oh, you know, five. Five hours still there. So there's this way that I can always tell when Hayley's on, you start like really, like your hands live in your hair. When you're, not like getting it out of your face,

you're really like, oh, and you get it and it's like, you know how if you're like, just trying to shake off the day at the end of the day, you put your hands up. Well, I don't have hair, but I've seen people do it. And they put their hands in here and they go, oh, and seen people do it. And they put their hands in the hair and they go, oh, and they ruffle it up and they throw their hands. Like, oh, that's where you're getting to the point where it's going to start the decline.

It's like, oh, you know? And then like mid-story, there's like a hand through the hair and I was like, oh, okay, we're at that stage. Here she goes. And that's when I was like, it's four o'clock. Yeah. So you were in bed, what, by five ish? Yeah. And then

I woke up, maybe a few, like when it was dark finally. And When it was dark finally? I was like, holy hell, how long have I been here for? Is it the next day? It was good fun. That weird one where you wake up and you're not sure what

day it was. Yeah. Was I having an afternoon nap? I do admire when I begin my no dinner descent into oblivion that my ability to just go. I do it often and I'll just leave. Yeah. Ah. Yeah. Because I wasn't sure whether or not Aaron saw it coming.

No, no, no. I know it was you that was like, I'm out. No, Aaron can't stop this thunderstorm. God knows he tries. He puts a kite up with a key on the end. But you know, it was your big day and you tapped out early. Yeah, wouldn't be the first time, wouldn't be the last. I loved it. I loved it. And I thought

this morning, could we take some calls? I was the last to leave, by the way, if anybody's keeping one for the box. This one, I was looking at Fletch when he arrived. I was like, whew, he's not long for this world. Because you were hungover. I was, yeah, severely hungover.

And I just wanted to get home and go to bed. I know. I could see you struggling through a couple of drinks. And I was like, oh, man, he's rough. But then you were good. Once you're out over those breakers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice smooth ocean out there to be settled.

But I thought, could we take some calls? Did you have to, have you ever had to leave your own party early? Like it's your big party and maybe you got too drunk. It's like my friends left. Maybe you fell asleep.

I always also just think lots of people, like a big party, too much. Like they could have, they thought they could host a big 21st or something, but then when they realised

and that, you know, when it was about to happen that all eyes were going to be on them, it could be all too much for some people. I remember being at my friend's wedding and then she came up to me and was like, we're going to go. I was like, what?

What? She was like, we're so tired. We're so over it. Oh, we're done. What time was this? Oh, well before the night cut off. Yeah, they did a dance and they danced for a little bit. Not big drinkers either of them and everyone else was kind of, you know, the night cut off. Yeah, they did a dance and they danced for a little bit. Not big drinkers either of them and everyone else was kind of

you know, the night was turning into that. And they were like, we're going. We're out. They left their own wedding. They did. You've got to stay till the end. Nah. She was just like, we are we're full. Because they the bride and groom leave and tinkle tinkle there's tins behind a car or whatever. I don't know if everybody

does that. But then you're like, bye, and then everyone starts wrapping up. Obviously not what people partied on. No, these days, the bride and groom usually, well, groom and groom, bride and bride, tend to stay just as long. Yeah. But it used to be like that, that we'd all wave you off so you can go have a bloody shaggy-waggy. Yeah. It's probably easier to consummate it Earlier in the day

Isn't it Yeah I love someone Just texting Saying two words Bottomless brunch Starts out with Good intentions

Doesn't it Yes So well let's Take your calls 0800 DALZITM Play Zed Let's vote on Hayley

Play Zed Well Hayley left Her own birthday party A little earlier Than everybody else To go to bed. A swift exit.

While it was still daylight. Yes, stunning. A beautiful way to welcome in my 34th year. We want to know when you left your own party early. Tiana, you did this. Yeah, so we did. We had recently got engaged and we did like a little intimate dinner and then drinks with everybody afterwards. Yeah.

All the drinks, I think we stayed like maybe 45 minutes, not even. Were you too boozed or tired? Just so tired. Oh, really? You're just like, oh, God. And was everyone like, what? Like, we're here for you. Stay a bit longer.

Yeah, kind of. But we're like, oh, you guys have fun. Like, you know. It sounds like you made some bridges with your friends, you know, and then they were able to look after themselves. Are you going to stay longer at the wedding? We'll see how it goes. She's like, mate, no promises.

Tiana, thanks for your call. Hannah, who stayed, who had to leave their own party early? It was actually my grandmother. Oh, who stayed, who had to leave their own party early? It was actually my grandmother. Oh, Nana. What party did she leave? Her own 90th birthday party. Oh, God. She's allowed to leave early.

She's had too many bloody shandies. Yeah. Yeah. No, we saw, we threw her a party across the road from her house at a vintage car park. Yeah. And partway through the afternoon we were looking for her and couldn't find her

anywhere and we looked into her flat and saw her watching TV at like three hours earlier before everyone else did

oh look at that age you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want I love she didn't go home to bed she went home

to watch TV yeah amazing Chase might have been on yeah Chase keeps the brain sharp playing along. Hannah, thanks for your call.

Some messages. I left my wedding reception early. My husband didn't though. He stayed on. I'm sensing a little bit of a tone there. I got absolutely steamed at my 21st. It didn't last very long at all. And then my partner took me home and proceeded to stack a cup tower on me.

What do you want about leaving your own party early? No names, but somebody did the weekend. So we wanted to know your story. Some really good stories. A lot of weddings. Our wedding, we were done by 9.30. Grabbed a bottle of wine and shed it in the shower. Oh, that's hot.

Family and friends, apparently the party went on till 2am. Wow. They were out by 9.30. I've got a body clock. I like to go to bed early and weddings go too late. Yeah, they do. And you're always stuck in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, like, no, you can't even get anywhere.

You've got to wait for the bloody bus. Beautiful destination wedding. I've now got to catch a bus down a windy road to get home. Says the guy who got married on Wahikiana. Yeah. Everybody had to definitely catch the bus back down some girly whirlies. Yeah, we were stuck there, weren't we? Yeah.

I had my 21st about a month ago at home. The anxiety of being centre of attention plus a bit too much booze wasn't a good combo and I took myself to bed just before 10. Oh, yeah. I woke up at 4am to find the the party still going hard in the living room. Oh, my God. Glad my absence didn't kill the vibe. Did you join back in?

Back to bed or did you join back in? All right, guys, I'm good now. I fell asleep at my own 21st before midnight, but my mum wanted to keep partying, so she didn't take me home till almost 2. She woke me up and said, it's time to go home now. I just imagine you carried you to the car. Put you in someone's spare room.

My wife left our wedding just after the dinner. She was over all the smiling for photos and the tight dress. She said she felt like she was going to faint, so we took her home. She left me to it, and she popped back later in the night when she was feeling a little bit better in her track pants for a dance.

Yeah, I'd do that. Yes. Spent a week or so organising my 21st, paid for everything, then worked that day, then a week or so organising my 21st, paid for everything there, then worked that day, then really couldn't be bothered doing the 21st. So when the boys came to pick me up, I hid in a cupboard for 40 minutes until they left.

So just didn't go at all. Just was like, phone on, do not disturb, in a cupboard. I'm out. Just hiding there, just like, we can't get out of there. Well, let's go.

My 21st, it was in the middle of June. I was sick as a dog. All I wanted to do was go home and get into bed, but I had to stay because my sister, who was going to be sober driver, ended up drinking instead. And so I had to sober drive everybody, feeling sick, on my own 21st.

My cousin's 40th birthday party. It was a house party. It was 80s themed everyone had gone all out including the birthday boy Freddie Mercury he wears Freddie Mercury hairdo, moustache

fake tan, fake teeth the works he looked amazing we arrived at 6.30pm he handed us a welcome drink and that was the last time we saw him he was in bed by 7

he's a super lightweight and he'd had a couple of drinks to loosen up before we got there and that was enough that's always the kick in my dad ran and jumped into a taxi and said drive loosen up before we got there and that was enough. That's always the kicker. My dad ran and jumped into a taxi and said drive, drive, drive on his stag do while his mates were deciding what bar to go to next and he just had enough.

Yes, fair enough. So he absolutely bailed. Love that. Left, drive, drive, drive, drive. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. My husband left his stag do early, maybe around 7pm. His best man sent him home in an Uber. Oh.

Sent him home. He was in flurry pink leggings a coconut bar and a mermaid wig he'd lost his voice had red eyes from doing stuntman shots

that's where you snort the salt drink the tequila and then squeeze lemon in your eye no thanks he was smashed and fell asleep

sitting up with his legs spread wide on the couch there you go and you're looking at your husband to be like oh yay here he is.

This is really hot. Now, this will come as a huge surprise to you both, but I don't like doing anything for New Year's Eve. It's not. That is not. You don't want big elaborate plans? This will really come as a surprise to you. Yeah.

So when the idea was floated with a couple of mates, what are you doing? And they didn't have any plans. I was like, well, we could totally do like a low key, go to a place, hang out and sort of get somewhere to eat and sit about if the weather's nice and have a couple of drinks and then go back to ours and just sit around and do that small group thing where you reminisce

about times gone by and tell stories and then just go to bed at a decent hour. And you're at home so you can sneak off whenever you want. Hell yeah. As he is wont to do. A small group of which I can, you know, be across everybody's wants and needs and then ignore them

completely and go to bed. So that was, I was like, okay, that's doable. So when did you plan this? Months ago? No, no, no, probably like a couple of weeks ago. So I was, I was like, okay, that's doable. So when did you plan this? Months ago? No, no, no. Probably like a couple of weeks ago. Oh, yeah. So I'm putting the feelers out. Okay.

And so that was, I was like, okay, I'm happy with that. Nerds, was it your nerd friends? One of just my friends. They, the guys, I do play D&D with them. Yeah, right. Because I was wondering why we weren't part of the original. It's a nerd New Year's. Well, you had plans and you were overseas.

Yeah. Fletch has never had New Year's. Fletch has never had Christmas. It would be lovely for you to invite. It would be pointless. To be invited would be nice. Yeah. I invited you to my small thing.

Yeah. Thank you. It would just be nice. You'll be having a white Christmas summer and Hayley will be having a white New Year's here. I was just like, this is just, I knew you had plans. I will be drinking white wine. Then at Hayley's gathering on Saturday,

Sade's like, what are you doing for New Year's to people? And I'm immediately like, oh, hold on, because I know you can't just invite one of this group. They move as a collective. This was the greatest thing. They're a caravan, aren't they? They're a caravan, like a big wagon caravan. They'll circle the wagons to protect themselves

if there's an outside threat. And I was like, oh, what's she doing here? And then it was just like slowly but surely, like dominoes falling, everybody got invited. Everyone is coming to your house for New Year's now. Everybody got invited. Everyone is coming to your house for New Year's now. Everybody got invited. And then I was like, well, let's change tact a little bit. Let's go to that place we're going to go to in the afternoon for longer.

And then Shade's like, no, you'll be fine. You'll be fine on the barbecue for everybody. What is she saying? Count the heads. Count the heads. Yeah, exactly. She's like, no, he loves it. He does.

He loves it he does he loves it for himself or for a very small group I'm like I'm not a catering service I'm not doing it all after me

it was fantastic and you know I've changed my plans in order to watch this unfold yeah what I've done is I've invited our friends that we were just

going to have New Year's with to Vaughan's so I've actually just added two more they were welcome and then I was loving I started inviting people to Vaughan's for New Year So I've actually just added two more. They were welcome. I was loving the look on my face. I started inviting people to Vaughans for New

Year's. I've got multiple group chats on the go being like, where we at? We accumulate Vaughans. I was just like, what are we doing this for? I thought we'd established plants. So now you're going to have about 30 or 40? She's lippy. She's lippy. I'll give it to her.

She's lippy. Everybody just thought it was a bit of talk and then yesterday she messages the group 30 or 40? 40? She's lippy. She's lippy. I'll give it to her. She's lippy. Just, just. And then you thought it was, everybody just thought it was a bit of talk. And then yesterday she messages the group being like, I need numbers to make this book. Do you know what? It's happening. It's happening.

I tried to do a soft bail. I messaged back and said, oh no, look, we do have plans and da da da. And then Aaron was like, oh, why don't we just get them to come along? And so we came back in. They're back in. Yeah.

Numbers are up. Well, we were back in. They're back in. Yeah. Numbers are up. Well, we were going to have New Year's in hours, but every day I sort of feel like, you know, we might not be quite ready. So it works for us actually. Why would you want that many people at your nice house? A question I always ask myself. You've got a very nice house.

And then everyone's like, oh, so what's the plan? Like, what's, and I was just like, well, I don't know. What do you mean, what's the plan? They're like, well, I don't know. What do you mean, what's the plan? They're like, well, why are we all sleeping? I was like, who's sleeping? Yeah, then Vaughn starts telling people to bring tents. Bring tents. You're not coming inside the house.

I'm not having some sort of Marae situation of everybody sleeping on the floor. Oh, that'd be fun. No. So it's going to be like some kind of B-dub campground kind of R&B situation. Well, the locals, we could spread. The locals can spread because there's a few of us that live near you. Yeah. Well, I said I just need to know if you've got a tent,

I just need to know where to drag you and put you if you've had enough. This is happening, isn't it? And it needs to be labelled. So great. It was so great to see your wife inviting everybody right in front of you. I'm thinking of getting a real bad strain of COVID just between Christmas and New Year's. Right. That'd be lovely.

You know, it's not official to isolate now, so that's not even an excuse. I'm old school when it comes to isolating. I'm old school. I think we should just lock down the country for another six weeks, to be honest. Oh, God, I'm looking forward to it. Just so you can get out of your New Year's party. Yeah. Fletch, we'll Zoom you in.

Fantastic. From wherever in the world you'll be. Next on the show. How to know if your friends actually just hate you. Do they invite other friends around to your New Year's party? Yeah, I know. Not you. We're a second thought. We're second tier invites,

aren't we? No, that's not how. I'll tell you how next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Here, I want to show you guys. Okay, no, I'm going to share this with you and then I want to show you something. Okay. So a TikToker was revealed the way that she

puts her friends to the test to see if they secretly hate her. Now this TikToker has beautiful, long, kind of albany red hair. Yeah. And she says the sign that someone in your life secretly hates you is to ask them if you should cut your hair short. And if they say, oh my God, yes, chop it all off.

It'll look so good on you. They hate you. And they want to see you look ugly. They want to see you mangle your stunning long hair and make you look like a loser. Now, this is the same as when you say your friends like, I'm thinking of getting bangs. If they say, oh, my God, you should totally do that,

it would suit you so much, they hate you. Now, I'm going to give you a case in point. I asked these two beautiful women in my life who I used to live with if I should get bangs when we were at drama school. They said, oh, my God, it will suit you so much. Now, it doesn't. This photo must. But why did you get them over your eyes?

Why not just take a little bit more off so it's set so you can still see? Who's in the Addams Family this Wednesday? But it's not over your eyes. Just, it was not for me. That photo must go on our social media immediately. Who had a fringe like that? Bailey Sproul did. Wait, so that's how you knew?

Are you still friends with those two girls? For some godforsaken reason, I am. Wow, because that did not look good. What year was that? No, it's not that bad. I've seen worse. That was 2010. I don't know if I've seen worse.

Which was the end of my second year at drama school and I just do not have a face for a fringe. No, it doesn't work. I honestly just don't. How does this work for bald guys? How do we test if our friends like us?

You could say, do you think I should get hair plugs but just the fringe? Remember that haircut? Remember that haircut from like the 90s? That was my haircut when I was a kid growing up. Number four all over with a little fringe but not too long because mum didn't want it getting like long

because the naughty kids had real long fringes. Yes. Yeah, and rat's tail. Rat's tail. Long fringes. Yeah, so I asked my friends, oh, I think I'm thinking I might get a fringe. Might get a fringe.

And they were like, oh my God, yes, it'll I'm thinking, oh, I might get a fringe, might get a fringe. And they were like, oh my God, yes, it'll look so cool. Maybe they were just trying to be supportive. But you're saying a true friend would say, no, don't do it.

You don't have the face for it. But then you get the shit for doubting that you can possibly pull something off. That my face could pull it off. But I've got a very moon-like face. You don't frame a moon-like face with a straight,

straight up, you cut it in half with a fringe. Apparently there's more ways you can tell if your friends hate you. That's what Leanne Rod's song said. Can't fringe the moon. Can't fringe the moon. So they tell you to cut your long, beautiful hair into a bob or a pixie cut. Like,

oh my God, you've got such the attitude for it. You could totally do it. They never like any of your posts on social media. They hate you. They post ugly photos of you online. No, no, no. This is all, you're getting inside your own head too much. They post ugly photos of you online. No, no, no. Now you're just, this is all, you're getting inside your own head too much. They post ugly photos of you online. Because then you start looking who liked your photo and then working out who didn't.

And don't get tied up in all that stupid shit. They encourage you to wear or buy clothes that don't suit you. Again, they might just be empowering you if you're like, yeah, I want to try this. And you're like, yes, girl, do it. Oh, my God, who said this to me? My French. I wouldn't put it past women to do that. My French Shari the other day said to me that I need to. But who said this to me? My friend Shari

the other day said to me that I need to be those damn women. Shari said to me, I need to get into wearing low rise jeans. That's my problem, Miriam. I said, no, we need to tuck. And she said, what? And I said, tuck the gums.

And then she said, no, no, no, people aren't tucking anymore, They're flopping over top. Oh, like a muffin top. Yeah. I was like, no, Shari. Now, I think she might be doing me dirty here in that Shari actually. She wants you to fail. Secretly.

Hates me. Hates you. No. Stop all of this. Everybody, stop this. I can't believe it. She's my hairdresser. Next, she'll be telling me, oh, let's cut a fringe.

Let's do some bangs. Referencing my own photo that I believe we're going to put up on social media. Oh, yeah, as soon as it gets sent, yeah. Yeah. Do those other two ever get a fringe? Well, Sophie's kind of got one in the middle there. Mine have had one. Yeah, I mean, you'll see those two next to me.

Stunning women. And then a real dog on the left. That's no. That's because they've encouraged that. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. dog on the left and that's because they've encouraged that. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the Day and this week is Rollercoaster Week at Fact of the Day. I must actually find the email to say thank you for the person that pointed me in this direction.

Where is he? What is his name? His name is Mike. Mike. And Mike Hiscox. I think Mike lives in the UK. I don't know if you can just talk about it like that. It's his name.

And he is sick of this nonsense. Okay, sorry. Mike H is his email name. But what he did is he composed this in his work email and then sent it to his personal email and then sent it to me. Right. His personal email. Rocking a Yahoo. Is he?

He's rocking a Yahoo. Yahoo.co.nz. He said, I found some facts. I thought you might be able to use one of these. Some of them that we have used before and I was just like, well, actually the first one he sent was about a roller coaster. So I was like, that's cool. Yeah.

I think we could do roller coaster week. There'll be enough interesting facts about roller coasters. So today's fact of the day is the first roller coaster in 1884 was... I don't know if I'd be trusting an 1884 roller coaster. It only went real slow. It only went real slow. How slow? It was 9km an hour. And you sat

sideways in it. Ooh, really? Like side. I hate when you go on a bus or a train and there's a sideways. Backwards? Backwards is worse. Backwards I Backwards is worse. Backwards I feel sick. I'm all right with backwards. Side just puts you right off. Yeah.

I've got to start facing forward. That's my way to travel. It was by a man who had made his millions in the hosiery business. Stockings and such. Oh my God, pantyhose. LaMarcus Thompson. He'd lived in Central, not Central America, Middle America. Yeah.

But when he got sick, he was like, well, I'm going to go and live by the seaside. And the seaside he chose to live by was New York. Oh, yeah. And he did not like that all of the attractions in New York were what he considered to be hedonistic places like brothels and saloons. And he said we needed some good old-fashioned fun. Yeah. So he invented a roller coaster that, yeah, you sat in sideways

and from the high point it just rolled down a series of ups and down hills. Oh, yeah. And it was in Coney Island along the pier. Yep. So for a start you were just looking at the pier and then he said, you know what, we could just paint anything and put it up and we could do it like it's a tour of America. So it was called a switchback railway. That was what the

first roller coaster was called. And you would look out one way and go down and then you get to the end and they'd put it in a little lift and they'd lift it up and then it would go back down the other way. And you would face different ways in each direction so that you would see a different painted scene.

So that was the first one that was like commercially invented. Are there photos of it? Yep. There's old black and white photos and drawings of it. Because it sounds like it would be rickety. Oh, it would be very rickety. Have you been on a wooden roller coaster? Yes.

They're so fun. I've been on the one in, what's the one in California? Knott's Berry Farm. Yes. That's the big wooden, I'veott's Berry Farm. Yes. That's the big one. I've been on that one. That's amazing. Is that what they used for the opening of classic 90s family sitcom Step by Step?

Step by Step. Step by Step. D bar D. Fresh Turtle. That would be in San Fran. Knott's Berry Farms. No, because if you- Inland.

It's inland. Yeah. No, no, no. They photoshopped it. It's the world's worst photoshoppingland is it? Inland yeah. Yeah no no they photoshopped it. It's the world's worst photoshopping. Is it? If you remember

the TV show Step by Step it was like a modern day Brady Bunch dad with kids meets woman with kids Patrick Duffy Suzanne Somers

oh what a comical mixing of different families. I remember there being a rollercoaster on the intro. At the start yeah there was a rollercoaster right at the end.

That was a wooden rollercoaster. That's very cool that one at Knott's Berry Farm. Very cool. Yeah. So that was invented and opened in 1884, the switchback railway of Coney Island, to stop people seeking sinful activities,

such as brothels and saloons. Yeah. I've got a lot of other fact of the days about roller coasters. I'm really excited. I'm excited for this one. Tomorrow, I will teach you about a roller coaster that for half the day worked and for half the day played. What?

Okay, you've hooked me in. Can we go live Friday from the roller coaster at Rainbow's Inn? You can. Absolutely. We can sort that out for you. Thank you. Absolutely. It's good.

It's over in like 20 seconds. The corks grow. Is that it? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

So there in 2021, early 2021, so nearly three years ago, two and a half years, Olivia Bailey lost her cat, Bowie. Now this is a fancy-wancy cat, one of those rescued from the breeder. Yeah, I rescued mine from a breeder. Devon Rex. It's a Devon Rex. What's a Devon Rex? A Devon Rex cat.

Oh, fancy, fancy, fancy. Kind of looks like a mini, what are those giant ones that everyone gets? Maine Coon. Yeah, it looks like a mini Maine Coon. No, it doesn't. Do you know what a Maine Coon looks like? Yeah, they're giant.

Is this guy an idiot? It looks like a Sphinx with hair. Thank you. That's what it looks like. It's a tall-haired, short-haired breed of cat that emerged in England

in the late 1950s. They're known for their slender bodies, wavy coat, large ears, breed of cat, blah, blah, blah. They're puby. They're puby. I remember seeing

one of these on the street and I loved it. They're capable of learning difficult tricks, but are difficult to motivate like me Good tricks and difficult to motivate

Well she lost Bowie like extensive search on all the social medias posters up on the street that kind of thing Oh okay After a while accepted

Bowie was dead He's not coming home He's not coming home Like David Bowie his namesake Dead Why'd you bring that up? I don't know

Why'd you bring that up? Sometimes I forget that David Bowie died And he did Anyway Apparently What actually turned out Was an old woman Had spotted the cat

Assumed he was a stray And took him in Assumed a cat That was Like from a breeder Was a stray No because if I saw this cat I'd be like,

ugh. To me, they don't look like a really posh cat. It looks like, you need a feed. Yeah, I remember we had one of these living near us, and its name was Van, and I fell in love with it, and I touched him and he felt like pubes. Anyway, so he went missing.

Bowie went missing in Levin. This old woman spotted him five hours north in Waikato, in Te Aroha. Five hours? God knows how this happened. She stole him when she was in Levin. Now, she's old. She stole him when she was in Levin.

She drove by and was like, oh, I like that. Never checked the cat's microchip, named him Aura, and took him in as her own. Even taking him to regular vet appointments all was good until recently she got unwell, the old lady and couldn't care for him so he took it to another place to this woman called Bea who lives in Auckland

this cat's far from home and then Bea was going to find this cat a new loving home for the rest of its days and then took it to the vet and they microchipped it and was like, this cat's from Levin. And then eventually found their way back to the original owners and Bowie, a.k.a. Aura, a.k.a. Bowie, has been returned

to its original owner. After like two and a half years. Yeah. So she sent the woman a message and was like, I think I might have your cat. And the woman was like, get out. But you would have moved on. You might have already taken in a new cat lover.

Yeah, they have got another cat. Oh, okay. Yeah. But, I mean, it's fine. They're back. They're reunited. She's happier than ever. Two and a half years old.

There's some adventures under her name. My cat hasn't come back, has it? From the dead? Yeah. No, despite my ritual casting, your cat is still dead in the ground. In Bourne's backyard. My cat, Shaq, she went missing and did that thing where they take themselves away to die. Yes.

Like she was very unwell and very, very old, but we never found her. Yeah, and we don't know where she went. Smokey did that when we were growing up on the farm. Never found the bones or anything. We never found her. Well, they probably just get eaten, right? Like as grim as that is. By who?

Scavengers, like birds. I lost one! Oh, poor Smokey getting picked by some... It's a second of life! That is my beloved 17-year-old cat. Halloween's a fortune. That's just life though. Smokey will be under the deck somewhere. Don't worry about it. Yeah, that's what we

thought. Smokey will be under the deck. Well, it still cuts up my family. Anyway, I want to know if we could take some calls and get some messages in of when you became someone else's pet's new owner. My parents did this. They had a red cat that kept visiting them to the point that they were like...

It's ours now? Yeah, you can just be here, I guess. Yeah. And then they moved house and they thought it was weird to take the cat with them. But they did? No, they abandoned it. Not abandoned it, but just... Wait, so they take over someone's pet?

No, they just assumed it was going between houses. But then also, a lot of cats can cat around a bit. They'll have food at lots of people's places. They'll bicky about the place. They'll bicky about. Rolly got real fat one year and we were like, you're bicking about a bit.

Yeah. We haven't changed the diet. Going next door for some jelly meat. Yeah, exactly. Because you only feed him dry biscuits. No wonder he went looking.

No. No wonder he went looking. He's just like, I'm sick of this dust. And then she broke my glass at the weekend. So I can't even drink to stop the coughing from the dry, dusty biscuits. I'm sick of this dust. And then she broke my glass at the weekend. I can't even drink to stop the coughing from the dry, dusty biscuits.

We want to take your calls. 0800 DALS at M. Text in 9696. When did you take over someone else's pet? And if you moved and took it with you, wow, the audacity, the balls. Oh, my God, this happened. I'll tell you a story after this to get the ball rolling. We want to know this morning why or when you took over somebody's pet. Yeah.

Now, I said I had a story because this reminded me of, my parents lived next to an elderly lady for many, many years. And one of their cats just sort of ended up going there a lot and then she fed it and gave it all the jelly meat and stuff. So Pippi decided she wanted to live there.

Then the old lady died and then the old lady's family came in and So Pippi decided she wanted to live there. Okay. Then the old lady died. And then the old lady's family came in and took Pippi to the SPCA. That's my parents' cat. But it was your cat? Yeah, man. Mate, their parents had had it for like 10 years. But Pippi just like visited there.

And so when they got there to clean out the house, they took Pippi to the effing SPCA. Wait, did your parents go and get it? They found out too late. By the time they went there, it out the house. They took Pippi to the effing SPCA. Wait, did your parents go and get it? They found out too late. By the time they went there, it had been adopted. They have no idea where this cat is. Oh, my gosh. That is crazy, eh?

That is a wild story. I couldn't believe it. Pippi, if you're out there, go, sorry. Pippi was 11, I think. Oh, yeah. Cats don't live that long. That was a couple of years ago. Yeah.

Brianna, when did you take over somebody's pet? It was a couple of years ago now, and it was a cat that belonged to a house a couple of doors down, and it was absolutely beautiful, like one of those long-haired grey cats. Oh. Yeah. Nice. And I just seduced it over a period of weeks to the point where it was...

Seduced it with your good food and your warm lats. Platonically seduced it. And then we just had this cat that would come and sleep with us and hang out with us on weekends for some months. And then it showed up with a scratch on its head and stitches. And I felt really bad because I didn't know if it needed medicine and also I couldn't afford medical bills for a fancy cat so then I took it

back and I'm really sorry for living with us. So you loved the idea of this cat until the responsibilities that came with it. It's yours. It's your problem. It's expensive. Not my cat. It was like cat with benefit. Yeah.

No strings are catched. Yes. Sad from you. That was good. And then what were the owners just like, oh, thanks? No, they had no idea. They thought, you know, it was 100% loyal to them. The name was actually Pikachu.

Pikachu? Wow, they had no idea their cat was sleeping around. No. Wow. Absent owners, to be honest. Yeah, it is. Brianna, thank you for your call. Some messages in.

Someone said, this cat thievery happened to me. I had a main coon called Wolf. The neighbour was an elderly lady. Started petting him after I had my baby, and it obviously was a bit too much for him having a baby around. We couldn't work out where he was disappearing to. Two years worth of fighting him to come home. Yeah.

Walked down to her house and politely asked her to stop feeding him. She said she'd named him Smokey and she felt really bad but she'd recently lost her husband and her own cat. Oh! What would you just be like,

okay, just have it then. So, I don't know if that was one sort of tragic cat-man accident or if it was, you know, within a close period of time, but he's a $1,300 cat lady, so he's been fitted with a tracker and I'd set off a high-pitched beeper every time I went into his house and he'd run back to us. Oh, my God.

Jeepers. People are just stealing animals left, right and centre. This is wild. So a cat turned up after two and a half years missing where it had been living with an old lady who had renamed it.

Turned up in Auckland after originally being in Levin. So someone obviously catnapped it, took it to Hamilton. Yeah. And then of course this lady. And then Hamilton took it to Auckland and now it's back in Levin. Oh, my God.

This cat is Levin Levitaloka. Should we just call the show the year I left? It's not getting any better, is it? It's not getting any better than that. We want to know when you've taken over someone's pet or someone's done this to you. Yeah, be it by choice or not. There are some wild stories.

Aroha, good morning. Morning, guys. Good, this is your son's cat. Yeah, well, he was. Oh! So we had him for probably about six months and then he just kind of started not coming home. Like he'd come home

and eat and then run away. Run off, yeah. Yeah, and then he just kind of started not coming home like he'd come home and eat and then run away yeah yeah and then um maybe like a after a couple of months of that our neighbors had a garage sale a few doors down and so we went down to check it out and we've seen our cat sitting on the back doorstep and so we started calling his name and the woman picked him up and said, no, no, his name's not Otzi, his name's Sam, and took him inside. And we were just like, oh, okay, I'm pretty sure that's our cat, but okay, see you, Sam. Wow. So she just was like, no.

Mine now. Yeah. And my son was like, he would have been about eight at the time, and he was like, mum, that's our cat. And I was kind of just like, well well i think it might be theirs now so did you get your son a new cat or no we got a dog instead oh you're much more loyal you're much more loyal cats just don't care do they i don't have thank you tom uh this is your mum She took over someone's cat. Yes, she did. And firstly, I'm a long-time listener, first time caller. Let me ring the bell.

Yay! Welcome. Welcome, Tom. Thank you very much. You know, my mother's actually stolen two cats over the last bit of seven to eight years. Oh, my God. The first of which actually died last week. Wait, who?

Your mum or the cat? The mum or the cat? The cat. Wait, who, your mum or the cat? The mum or the cat? The cat. Oh, phew. I don't think he would have been so nonchalant with mum dying last week. That's right. He might have done it. Anyway, the second one is a long-haired, fluffy, white thing,

which I call the toilet brush because it sort of looks like. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, the joke's on her, actually, because what they didn't know is when they eventually sort of semi-adopted it or pseudo-adopted it, the cat's very nervous so it requires sedation to get its hair clipped and stuff so it cost

them about $300 every three or four months to get the hair shorn out. Yeah, because they can't clean themselves, can they? No. It's too much. Yeah, because a lot of people with those fluffy white cats rag dolls have to wipe their bottom. Yeah, wipe the bum. Yes. Yeah, not cool. It's a no for them. Yeah, no. No. Can you unadopt the cat?

Could she be like, too much. Unadopt. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe from what? The cat's for sisters and the neighbours have still got the other one

but they can't really give the other one back. What? The neighbours? I love how people are just rolling over when people take their cats. Yeah, I know.

Just being like, oh, okay. It's a principle. Matter of principle. I would just storm their house down and be like, give it back. Tom thinks you call some messages in to finish. Somebody said, my son smuggled a cat into the garden shed and would sneak out and feed it.

He's living in this garden shed. Said that it followed him home from school. Ten years later, we moved house, took our cat to the new house where he lived out the days. We always felt bad that we'd stolen somebody's pet cat. And I remember after he died, we kind of like Googled what breed he was and it turned out it was a Nebulong breed, which is a very posh, very expensive cat.

Oh, someone's invested him up. Nebulong. Nebulong. That sounds like something from Star Wars. It does. It sounds like it would have tentacles coming out of its back or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's beautiful.

Oh, yeah. Grey, long head, almost made of pony. That's a good wolf. Rare pedigree breed of domestic cat. Call that wolf. My grandmother who has dementia had a cat turn up And then she renamed it Mitzi When it died another cat appeared from nowhere But due to her dementia

She just believes this is also Mitzi After that one passed away a kitten appeared from nowhere And you know who that was Mitzi No idea where that one came from either That's going to be me one of them You just have multiple cats But your brain's just like

That's Mitzi. You've got to laugh. She'll never be sad because she'll never lose another pet. One day, in a lucid moment, she's going to do the math on how old this cat is and she's probably going to try to enter it in the Guinness Book of Records. I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way Give us a review