ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - April 30th, 2025

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: Dr Karl weighs in on eating food off the floor Adult toys found on the Tube SLP - What do you eat sushi with Two new sports Top 6 - Operations Vaughan could do  Tan lines are sexy Are you sad enough Gracie concert review When did a wedding ruin your friendship? Wingly tingly Wednesday Fact of the day Vaughan has a tech question School lunches these days See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Thank you, Brenna, for a good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Brinnifer. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Wednesday. Yes. Only a couple of days away from the comedy gala. Yes, it is. That you're hosting, Hayley.

I know. I'm ready for the gala. I've got to get a spray tan. I'm getting my nails done today. I've got to... No, maybe we'll talk about that tomorrow, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, shush, shush, shush. Okay.

Yeah. Just thinking about things. Thinking about things. But yeah, Comedy Fest actually technically kicks off today. There's a Wellington preview show, and then I think tomorrow an Auckland preview show. Then it's the galas. And then off we go.

Yeah. No pressure. Boom shakalaka, I think they say. I'm going to give it a big fat boom shakalaka. I think it's going to be a big old boom shakalaka. Your chance to win this morning, add to cart, is back. Make sure you're listening at 8 o'clock. We add three items across the day.

You've got to be listening the whole day for each of the items to win, thanks to One Roof Property. So 8 o'clock after the news, your first chance. The top six is coming up. Yeah, there's going to be a strike. Doctors? Yeah, doctors strike. How fans are like,

oh, we're very disappointed that the strike's happening. But it's like, yeah, of course you are because you don't want to pay them more and they want to get paid more. They want better conditions. That's how strikes work. Pay the doctors and nurses all the monies.

Oh, all the monies. More monies to them. Give them what they need. Anyway, the top six operations, I reckon I'd give it, I'd give a go. Because you've got YouTube now. Yeah, dude. I reckon you could do six operations.

Remember there was that guy that did the operation on himself? Yeah. Was he in the Amanda? He died. Did he die, though? No. Did he die? Or did he get rushed to hospital and then he was in critical life support?

I think that. Either way, I don't think it went successfully. Don't rip out your own appendix. Yeah, don't do it to yourself. Next on the show. Eating food off the floor. Always. The two second, three second rule.

No, the two second rule is driving. I think it's inflation's made it the seven second rule. Oh, for God's sake. For food on the kitchen floor. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, a doctor's waiting on it. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

Jesus, Dr. Carl's looking old. That's a terrible thing to say. Oh, what? He wears an Australian as Dr. Carl. I was like, I know that guy. He's always popped up on Australian TV shows with advice. Was he the doctor on Triple J or whatever that radio station was? Yes.

Yes. He's been around for a long time. Yeah, he's kind of like a celeb doctor. Yeah. So he's waiting on the five-second rule of food falling on the floor. I wish it was a two-second rule or a three-second rule. If you guys were chopping up some chicken for a stir fry. Oh, no chicken.

And it just went on the floor, what would you do? How much of it? How much? Just one little bit. Yeah, one little segment. I'd put it in the bin. I'd put it in the pan. I'd put it in the pan. I'd rinse it off.

I'd put it straight in the pan and cook it off. In that situation, I feel the floor needs a wipe with a dead old wipe. Definitely. Oh, yeah. Definitely the floor needs a wipe. If it's raw chicken, I actually feel more sorry for the floor than I do for the chicken. And for the chicken going into my stomach. Oh, God, I'm so sorry, floor.

I feel like people are just so scared of raw chicken. Because they've been, like, you know what? Like, not every chicken is salmonellary, right? No, but I did cook, I cooked chicken thighs last night. And I cooked them so juicy, I was almost dubious as if they were raw. Do you know what I mean? When you're like, that's too juicy. But raw chicken isn't going to make you sick unless it is salmonellary, right?

Yeah, it's got to have it in it. Yeah, and you cook it and it cooks it out of it. Yes. That's why they recommend cooking it to a certain temperature. But then some people cook their chicken so dry it's disgusting. Yeah. But I'll rinse it off and put it in the pan. Yeah, I dropped lots of kumara on the floor yesterday and I was like, in the oven you go.

Oh yeah, that'll bake off. It'll bake off. Yeah, it'll bake off. But did you rinse? Nah. Oh, I would oven you go. Oh yeah, it'll bake off. It'll bake off. Yeah, it'll bake off. But did you rinse? Nah. Oh, I would have rinsed.

No, I don't rinse. I would have blown. I think the, yeah, I, I, I would have, dry kumara,

I would have, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Check for visible dust. Check for visible dust, but it bakes off,

it bakes off. Because what were you, what were you aiming to do with this kumara? Because if you rinse it, you're risking the sog. I was just roasting, I just did a one pan sort of tray thing yesterday.

Laziness. Isn't garlic in there? Yeah, garlic, onion, broccoli, kumara, chicken thighs. A Tuesday roast. Well, I'm just trying to, you know, just trying to eat simply

as I prepare for the most stressful period of my life. Okay, that's good for you. Well, Dr. Carl, back to Dr. Carl. Yes, thank you. He said that it's ridiculous to think that that whatever you drop your food into isn't going to immediately attach to it.

There's some sort of universal rule of five, three, two, whatever seconds. He's like, if it falls on the floor and there's germs there, the germs will likely immediately attach it rather than attach over time. Right. I wonder, because I saw on my Instagram Reels, because you know I follow quite a lot of science stuff because I am very learned. Yes. So I saw someone doing one of those tests about the five second rule

where they dropped food on the floor. It was like the same consistent sort of chunk of whatever it was. And they dropped it on the floor and then they put it in a Petri dish. A Wendy Petri dish. A Wendy Petri dish. So they dropped it on the floor, then they put it in a Petri dish. A Wendy Petri dish. A Wendy Petri dish. So they dropped it on the floor,

timed one second, picked it up in a Petri dish. Two seconds, pick it up in a Petri dish. And at the end of it, you know, they look and they see how much bacteria grows

on the Wendy Petris. Yeah. And it found that like after three seconds, it didn't keep getting more. So one second rule kind of applied. So if you get it really quickly, it's better.

Yeah. Okay. And then two had a little bit more, three a little bit more, but then four to five to ten seconds, it kind of was all quite flat from that point. Right. Like tiny little increments. So you'd still be better to wash if it was meat. You just quickly rinse it, right?

To me, I was like, God, you could leave it on the floor for days. Pick it up and be like, that still feels good. And it's going to bake off. It's going to bake off. Do you know what I mean? It's going to bake off. I like to defrost my chicken on the floor of the kitchen. Me too. I've got hardwood floors. Yeah, yeah. And then you just give it a mop afterwards. It's the cleaner.

And then you don't have to use a dish. Yeah, you're saving dishes. One less thing to put in the dishwasher, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so manky. Is it? Is it? It's manky.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. So apparently in London, we love the tube. Mind the gap. Mind the gap. Mind the gap. Mind the gap. That's right. Apparently...

You'd think in 2025 they'd sort out the gap. I would have thought there would have been a gap. Like you'd think there'd be a solution. I was like a teenager. But the voiceover saying, mind the gap, it's iconic. Why fix the, you know, what is the old saying? Why reinvent the wheel? It's got to fix.

It's got the lady saying, mind the gap. So much cheaper than coming up with a new solution to this pesky gap. Yeah, actually. And the gap, well, I remember thinking the gap must have been a leap. And then I myself saw the gap. Sometimes it's just an inch. It's a tiny gap. It is a gap.

Yeah, it's a gap, not a crevice. No, it's not a gaping canyon. Mind the gaping canyon. Mind the hole so um apparently people are leaving quite a lot of adult fun toys on these london lines i love every now and again the list of uh lost and found from the british from the tube comes out and like it's insane the stuff people leave on the train. Yeah. So last year, there were 20 adult fun toys found across the capital. Only 20?

Only 20. That's a city of millions of people. Yeah, but what are they? Here's the thing. Only half of those were found within bags. Right. Okay? So only half of those were found,

like I've left my bag on the train, they've gone through it to try to identify the owner of the bag and... In my mind, these were all just rolling around willy-nilly. And if they went around a corner and the door opened, it might slip down the gap. It might go down the gap. Mind the gap.

Mind the gap. Have we checked the actual rail bed for adult fun toys? No, these are left within the carriages. The gap's got to be filled with toys. The gap is here. It's like when we met the guy who

cleans out the elevator shaft here at work. Oh my God, we were like, what do you find? What does he find down there?

Everything. Everything, yeah. So people just drop stuff down there. I mean, look, we're kind of, we're playing it up a bit. It was mostly

rubbish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he said he'd find keys and bits and pieces. I don't think he mentioned personally, you know, a personal massager. No. No.

I think the gap's too small for one of those. Yeah, the gap's a bit small. To be honest. The gap in our lift is tighter than the gap in the London tube. But so half of them were just willy-nilly. Do you think they've fallen out of people's pockets? I think they've fallen out of people's buttholes. They would have pulled out of that, I bet, as well.

Yeah. People would have pulled stuff out of their bag and it just would have been like flop. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, and then you get home and you're like, man, what a hard day at work. Can't wait for a...

Wait, wait. Do you just have them in your handbag? Sometimes. If you're in a hurry checking it out. I would. Wouldn't you? If I was a woman, I'd have one probably in my pocket right now.

In your pocket right now? You're at work. No, no, not in the workplace. I'll grow up. No. Every now and then one would have found its way into my bag and I'll be like, oh yeah, I've got to put that back into its kit at home. Because you've gone away for the weekend or something.

I've gone away for the weekend or I've popped out somewhere. Into the kit. Into the kit. You've actually got one of those big tool chests. You know those travelling tool cases? Yeah, she's like a supercars mechanics team. Yeah, yeah. You know when you see those bands

touring, they've got the big black boxes with the silverware on it. Oh yeah, yeah. It's like multiple locks, that's me. And you can click, click, click, click, open it, that's when you're travelling, but I'm still talking about at home in the garage, you've got your, you've got your Repco. Yeah, yeah, my Repco. Repco. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All our drawers.

All the different drawers, different levels of things. Lovely. Yeah, that's my setup. Lovely. Good stuff. I wonder if Auckland or Wellington trains of... Auckland Transport would surely... Surely.

We'll have to make an official request to our friend Richard, the councillor. Yeah, can you... I'll do it now. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Address him and just... He's probably on the bus right now because he's a regular public transport.

We'll get him to duck his head down and under the seat to see if there's any toys. See if there's any doggos rolling around. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly

That the silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe It's so silly, silly, silly that silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. How do you eat sushi? What? Sushi? What? Sushi? How do you eat sushi?

Our options were fingers, chopsticks, fork or other because we heard yesterday from someone who went on a first date with someone in camouflage Crocs and they ate their sushi with a fork. Now that to me is a first and a last date, but they're still together. They're still together. They've just been approved for a home loan. So what sort of shit are they going to find out

when they start living together? Well, you'd think you'd know by now. They might be living together already. A guy who eats sushi with a fork and Crocs gives me the feeling he was living with mum and mum didn't want her around. Yeah, I agree. So the most popular one, fingers.

Fingers at 53%. What? Yeah. More popular than chopsticks. More popular than chopsticks. I would love to know how many people actually can use chopsticks. Because that would... Let's make that a separate

little poll. How good is it when you meet an adult and they can't use chopsticks and you're like, oh, how? One of my favourite things was going out

with old producer Jared and having to ask very loudly in a restaurant, oh, can we get a fork, please? Can we just grab a fork? Yeah, didn't know. So 53% said fingers, 45% said chopsticks.

Fork, 1%. Other, 1%. I've got to know what that other is. They better have commented. Let's dive into the comments. I hope it's tongs. Oh, dude, if it's the little tongs. If it's the little tongs.

I can't take this to the table. Actually, that kind of rolls, though. That kind of rolls. Well, it's a chopstick, really. It's a steel fat chopstick with a hinge. Yeah, yeah, that kind of rules though. That kind of rules. Well, it's a chopstick. It's a steel fat chopstick with a hinge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really is. My supermarket sells sushi, says

Lucille, so I always get a four pack for the bus home. I call it bus sushi. No one bothers with chopsticks on the bus. It's straight fingers to God. Bus sushi. We do breakfast sushi. But also, you're getting on the bus and touching handrails and like... And then fingering sushi. I'm fingers of're getting on the bus and touching handrails and like... And then fingering sushi.

And then fingering sushi. I'm a fingers of sushi when I've had a clean hand wash. Yeah. But I don't know if I'd go on the bus end of the day. I don't bother. Do you know what I mean? Oh, you're immunising. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A little immunising. Building up. Fingers of takeaway chopsticks of eating at a Japanese restaurant, said Jonathan. Okay. I'm on board with that. That's a hot take. When we get sushi next door, I'll take away the chopsticks and sometimes chopsticks.

I chopstick mostly, but if I ram it in in the car, it's going fingers. That's going fingers. Yeah, totally. You can't chopsticks and drive. You can try. You can bloody try.

Ashley said, lunch sushi equals fingers, dinner sushi. Dinner sushi is chopsticks. No, again, and I said this yesterday, sushi isn't a dinner thing. Grow up.

It's a real meal. It's the right of it comes on the side when you're getting like a Japanese dish and there's like a little selection of other things on the side. Some sashimi, some nigiri. Yeah, some gyoza. This is weird to me because I'm an international podcast listener and our Melbourne sushi comes as half roll only,

so it's got to be a hand job. Kelsey's words. Sweet, sweet Kelsey. Having been in Melbourne a bit, they do, what do they call them? California rolls. Yeah. And they sell them as, yeah, like they're kind of. A log.

Like what, four centimetres long? So you've got to bite them. You couldn't whole hog it. No, you eat it like a sausage. Unreal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they don't, they hardly ever do the little bits like we do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see that a lot when I was there. Could you say, could you cut that up? Or is it a BK chicken scenario? Remember when the BK chicken would always come in half and then they had too many knife incidences and they're like, cut it yourself, you son of a bitch. They banned it, yeah.

I think it's back though. Oh, right. Yeah, it is, yeah. I think you can get a BK chicken cut in half and then they had too many knife incidences and they're like, cut it yourself, you son of a bitch. They banned it, yeah. I think it's back though. Oh, right. Yeah, it is, yeah. I think you can get a BK chicken cut in half. That's my one BK. Your BK chicken with cheese? BK chicken with cheese. Okay.

BK chicken with cheese. Interesting. So she says, it's a hand job only. Adding chopsticks would make it a hot dog and to fork a sushi, you couldn't do it. No.

No, it'd blow it apart. You've got to use your fingers for that one. Kelsey's out there struggling. Alexandra says, save the planet, use your built-in chopsticks. Yeah, fingers. Nature's chopsticks. I wonder if there's a cultural thing with food and fingers in Japan. You know, like in India, you eat with your hand.

It's big. It's respectful. But in Japan, I wonder if it's a no-no. I feel like they're big on manners there. That's what I mean, cleanliness and manners. I wonder if they're like, no-no. I feel like they're big on manners there. That's what I mean. Cleanliness and manners. I wonder if they're like, no, no. A little bit of practice doesn't hurt to add to the experience by being authentic, says Justice. I bet those fingers only go for the teriyaki too.

Annabelle says, yes, I use a fork. Do not judge me. Oh my God, we're judging you. So hard. Harder than we've judged anyone ever. We're high court judges so I've just... We're high court judges. I've just Googled,

so Japanese people often eat sushi with their fingers. But they're still talking sushi as in like actual Japanese sushi that you get in a thing and you pick it up like that. Chopsticks are more used for the raw fish. Oh, that's interesting. It's acceptable and common practice to use the fingers. That's interesting. That's okay.

That's good to know that we're not, you know, being insensitive. Now, did anybody say other? Like, what's this other? I'm perusing. What could it be? I'm perusing and I'm perusing. Spoon? Ooyak wouldn't touch it with rubber gloves on.

That guy's anti-sushi. Oh, okay. It's delicious. The fact that Fingers is winning right now is insane. If you can't use chopsticks, grow up. What's in your head? Rocks?

Maybe people that hate sushi went other, voted other. Oh, as in like, I don't eat it. As in I don't eat it. I just think don't partake in this silly little pub. We'll see you tomorrow.

Skip the pole. And Jessie said, eating with chopsticks makes me feel so fish-ticated. So fish-ticated. She's so fish-ticated. So fish-ticated. So fish-ticated. She's so fish-ticated. So fish-ticated.

Which I very much like, Jess. Well, yeah, if she's eating sashimi. If it's sashimi. Yeah, very so fish-ticated. But no one in the comments. It's got to be the tongs. We're left wondering. We are left wondering.

I imagine someone's with the little silicon rubber ends on those little tongs. Yeah, I've got heaps of them. I love them. Tonging in the mouth. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. I've seen these videos online and it always makes me just feel a little bit sick. Is it like Bull Rush?

Nah, because Bull Rush is like a row of people, right? And they'd all run and the person would pick out one person and if they could stop them, they would join them for the return bull rush until there was one person left. But this new sport is... This is pretty much a game of chicken when you're just running at each other.

Run it straight and the idea is you hit each other and the person that remains standing is the winner. This is a wall of death. This is a heavy metal thing. In mosh pits. Yeah. Have you seen them before in a mosh pit in a metal concert and the crowd separates

into two. Yeah, but I'd like to see some weedy white guy with long greasy hair go up against a 200 kg Samoan. Not a lot of 200 kg Samoans in metal crowds. I'm making a generalisation. Not a hell of a lot. But these are, yeah, the videos I've seen online, it's and there's a video, the one that really got everybody's attention and a lady neuroscientist was like, no, no, no,

no, no, no. We're going to have some serious brain damage here because the footage that went kind of wild was someone getting absolutely KO'd. Yeah. Well, it's already like a bad enough problem with American footballers and like our rugby players with like their brain injuries. It knocks the CTE. Yeah.

It's the worst part of American football without the protection that's just charging at each other. What's CTE? Concussions? I don't know.

It's the CTE. Chips. It's the one where Tatsiki. And they study the brain afterwards and it's Yeah. It's had a

You've read it. This neuroscientist I've listened to on a podcast says even like letting your kids or even playing football, like doing headers with soccer balls, you shouldn't do that.

Because in that developmental stage. Yeah. I think lots of my friends that have kids, they've banned headers in soccer games at schools now. Oh, have they? Okay, yeah, right. You can't do it. You're not supposed to.

You're not supposed to do it. So now they've lost the ability. I did it and I'm fine. I've done it a couple of times. I've done it and seen it and I'm okay. I didn't a couple of times. I done it and seen it and I'm okay. Yeah. I didn't plan in contact sports growing up whatsoever. Marching was very non-contact.

Non-contact. Keep the head very safe. Nice. So that's been condemned. The other one that I'm just going to say is a bit weird is sperm racing. I saw this. I seen this. Yeah.

On the Instagram. Sperm Racing Professional Sperm Analysis Kit is what is given to the competitors who will be going head-to-head, I guess you could say. Yeah. Good, good for you. And this Sperm Race, obviously the Sperm Racing Professional Sperm Analysis Kit is another way of saying a cup that you do your business into.

Yeah. And so it's amplified. No, no, no. So there's a whole lot to it. Right. So there's stats before they even get the sperm into the racetrack. Right. How fast your swimmers are.

There's concentration, mobility, progressive motility, motile sperm concentration, and progressive motile sperm concentration. So progressive. So they measure all these things. Then they put it into a microscopic racetrack that mimics the reproductive system, which includes chemical signals, fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts. So sort of like a fake egg being like, hey, boys. And is this all put up on a screen?

So then that's where you're talking about the microscopic view of the racetrack and yeah they watch it and it's going mad online I know I've seen the races and they all sort of stand around they're like go and this woman's like but however like you don't

know what your situation is before you enter yeah like you could be a fit and healthy person but for some reason you've just got... Your sample. Your collected sample. I wouldn't watch it come out. Well, maybe they have

an over 40s division. Yeah, it's the masters. The masters. The golden oldies. No. And it's just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's the 20-year-olds? Like, shoo! Yeah, and. And it's just like, bleh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where's the 20-year-olds? Like, shoo. Yeah, and the swans, swans, swans, swans, swans. How old was the guy that won? He looked like 20 or 18 or something. Were they UCLA? They're students. Oh, right.

No durries, no booze. He works out. Gen Z, never drank in his life. Gen Z, yeah. 100%. Yeah. Great cardiovascular fitness. Fascinating, though.

Yeah, but this is a sport now. Well, should we do our own version, FVH? I mean, I'll provide the egg, and at the end, one of you has a baby with me. I don't want your dusty egg. Yeah, I don't want your dusty sperm, so let's not bother. One of those over-poached ones at the cafe that you send back. Shut up, old dust jar.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. There is going to be a strike. 5,000 doctors to strike. 4,300 patients affected. The mediation failed between HealthNZ and senior doctors. Surgeons?

Surgeons? Surgeons. Well, they could be doctors or surgeons or both. So, I heard an ad on the radio just before. Yeah? The original word of mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Saying that if you're booked in or whatever, or if you're sick, you still go. Oh, okay. If you're sick, you still go to an emergency department. Don't just sit at home and die. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. If you need A&E. But if you've been told, like, you still go to an emergency department. Don't just sit at home and die. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. If you need A&E. But if you've been told you had something booked and it's been delayed or rebooked,

then obviously follow that advice. Yes. But it's a bit of a kerfuff, isn't it? Yeah, it is. I'd say it's a kerfuff. But you understand why they're doing it. Yeah, totally. Absolutely.

Pay them better working conditions. Give them what they want. Who else is going to fish a small jar of Vegemite out of somebody's anus yeah that's right on a bloody Friday that's right

or perform you know like heart surgery yeah or Vegemite jar up your ass you know both I would put on equal footing or like fix a broken leg

or a gunshot wound yeah I would have said patch or get a pickle out of your ass yeah or a world egg or you know fix that's right. I would have said patch. Or get a pickle out of your ass. Yeah. Or a wart egg.

Or you don't fix a burst appendix so you don't die. Yes, yeah. Or get something out of your child. Get something out of your bum hole. These are all very important things that doctors do. Really? Yeah. He's got a weekend planned, isn't he?

Sounds like it. There'll be nothing going in my bum hole this weekend. I've always said it. Always tie a safety string. Always have a string. Safety string. Alright, but we are talking about the top

six procedures that I believe I could step up and do. Wash my hands, get me gloved. Vaughan Smith. Load up YouTube on that big iPad.

Watch it as you go. And it's like when you're trying to fix something, when using a YouTube instruction and you've got to go back. Pause. Yeah, Yeah. And it's like when you're trying to fix something or when using a YouTube instruction and you've got to go back. Pause. Yeah, yeah.

Pause it. Rewind it 10 seconds. Yeah. Okay, press play, but get ready to pause again. Wait, wait, wait. Can you put it in slow-mo? But I missed it.

Keep missing it. So I've got the top six. Okay. Surgical procedures that according to ChatGPT are the easiest because they are routine, common, minimally invasive, low risk, and short in duration. But that doesn't mean they're easy for laymen.

Number six on the list. Laparoscopic trolocystectomy. You can't even say it. Gallbladder. Gallbladder removal. If I'm on the theatre table and you came in and said, are you ready for your laparoscopic trolocystectomy? Trolocystectomy.

Yep. Commonly, this is how you treat gallstones. Minimally invasive. Very routine, especially in general surgery. Okay. Glove me up. Glove me up. Glove me up.

Glove me up. I'm going in. Number five on the list of the top six surgeries I'd give a real good go during the strike is an appendectomy. Usually done laparoscopically. Straightforward anatomy. High success rate. Get in. Usually done laparoscopically. Straightforward anatomy. High success rate. Really?

Well, cut out the appendix. Knock yourself out, Vaughn. Chuck a couple of stitches in there. I mean, if it's burst for too long, you can't die from it, but you get in there, babes. I'll suck out the poison. That's the sort of surgeon I am.

We're going to siphon it out. I don't know if they suck out the poison, Vaughn. I don't know. I haven't watched a YouTube tutorial yet. I've got a few days. I've got a few days. Number four on the list of the top six surgeries I'd give a good, hard go. Hernia repair.

Oh, yeah. Especially engineer hernia repair. In-gurnal. Not internal. Okay. In-gurnal. It is common and often done as an outpatient surgery. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Oh, easy for form to do. Open. Yeah. Push it back in with my fingers. Hold it closed. Staple, staple, staple, staple. I don't think push it back in with my fingers is a medical procedure. Staple, staple, staple, staple.

Staple. Staple. No hernia. No problem. Great. No problem. Number three. Three. On the list. And you're a doctor. I am a doctor. Can. No problem. Number three. Three.

And you're a doctor. I am a doctor. Can't even count. Number three on the list of the top six procedures I'll give a go during the strike. A cyst or labohemal removal. What? Often performed under local anesthesia. Surface level.

Short procedures. Da da da da da. Cut it open. Doctor pimple popper it. Yep. Squirt, squirt, squirt. That's me squirting into antibiotics. No, they've got like, cysts have a whole like track system.

Yeah, dude, I'll get them all out. I'll suck out the poison. And then suck out the poison. And then suck out the poison. Pull it out. Number two on the list of the top six surgeries, according to AI, that are routine, minimally invasive, low risk and short in duration, that I would give a go.

Carpal tunnel release. Oh, yeah? That's where you got the carpal tunnel and the sore. Sore arms. Done on a local aesthetic. Quick, minimal risk. Right. Okay.

Easy peasy. God, I hope they pay these doctors and they don't need a strike. Yep. You're going to kill people. I'm looking forward to number one. Number one on the list of the top six surgeries that I'll give a go during the surgeon's strike. Again, according to AI, easy because it's routine, common, minimally invasive, low risk, short in duration, circumcision.

Far out. No thanks. Little babies or grown men or whoever. If you've got a foreskin and you're like, Fletch, volunteer for tribute. Absolutely not. Simple technique, low complexity. In fact, I've seen a Facebook reel of how it works. Absolutely not. Well, now you can do it.

Yeah. Send the reel. I've seen the reel. Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith. At the ready. I'm just going to go scrub up. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Now, here's a new little sexy trend if you want to look hot. Fletch has done it authentically. Mine is ever fading. Tan lines. Tan lines. Which I have done everything to avoid this summer. Because I've got a backyard, fenced. Yeah.

I've been nude. Well, ideally. When you say you've been doing everything to avoid it, it makes it sound like you've been really keeping on top of your sunscreen. But you've just been sunbathing nude. No, baking nude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

I will be the sensible one on the show and say I sunscreen heavily. I sunscreen. I sunscreen. What's the skin scale? Is it the McKenzie? Country. McKenzie. McKenzie.

McKenzie. Loaf. Loaf. You still on Plowman's money? Nah, mate. So you're open to it. I'm McKenzie all the way. So tan lines.

Okay, here's the two categories that tan lines popped up in. One, on the hub. Okay. Tan lines has become a specific. Like a search thing. Searched. Ma'am, as mayor of the hub. I will say I have not seen this.

Mayor of the hub. I'm mayor of the hub. I don't think you want that title. If anyone's Mayor of the Hub, though, it's Vaughan. You know that I pay for mine. You do? On an exclusive website. I'm not paying.

Anyway. The Mayor doesn't pay. The Mayor doesn't pay. Nobody pays, Hayley. Yes, I know, but you do if you're a woman and you want it anyway. Anyway, anyway, Tanlines has become like an increase in searches on the hubs. Right. The adult hubs.

Yeah. For looking for people with tan lines. So I've actually become inadvertently, accidentally sexy. Incredibly sexy. With my short tan lines. Because you've been over in the bloody American summer and you just show me the top of your butt. It's very white. It's very white. It's very white and I'm very brown.

Very brown. Yeah. So that's one way that it's happening. Okay. Another way which is, I think, even more absurd is that some chicky babes on the TikToks are getting semi-permanent tan lines tattooed. That's dumb. That's dumb.

What? You're being a dummy. That's like when people were getting like... Like I've been out in the sun a little bit too long. No, that's insane. Babe, you're insane. Tan lines. Oh, look at them.

So what I'm showing is like a bikini strap tan, and you'd lighten this bit and put a bit of pink in there and show a bit of the strap itch. So how is it like when people get their eyebrows tattooed? Or is it like getting a tattoo but you're getting a brown ink? I've seen a girl

on TikTok do it, like tattoo with cosmetic tattooing. You know you can get blush and you can get a bit of lip stuff. So adding a bit of pink around the chest and a bit of brown hair and then leaving that white. But other girls are just doing it with fake tan. Fake tan's all about like blending.

Now they're specifically wiping off. So they wipe the whole chest area and then they get a flannel or whatever. A flannel? Go like that. Please don't ruin a flannel. Don't ruin a flannel. My mum's going to hate the room. Mum's going to be so angry if you ruin a flannel.

I want to be a good son of a... And then you rub it down or you tape it. Yeah. And then you wear your boob tube and you're like, I've just been out in the summer sun all day in my bikini. Oh my God, but you haven't. I don't get it. What's the deal with it?

Please explain it to the mayor of the house. I don't understand the... I don't get wearing this, getting... Obviously, hey, I've been in a bikini all day, but now I'm in a boob tube. But if I was still in the bikini, you couldn't see that I'd only been in the bikini, so now I'm in the boob tube?

People are just liking the aesthetic. I guess it's like a little sort of like blush on the nose or something. Like, I just look sun-kissed. Like, I've just spent the day at the beach and now I'm at Declare. I think someone's going to have wrinkly chest hair. Decolletage. Decolletage, that's it. Crepey decolletage. Yeah, crepey. You're going to have wrinkly chest hair. Decolletage.

Decolletage, that's right. Crepey decolletage. Yeah, you're going to have the old crepe. Far out, man. I'm running as fast as I can from that crepey decolletage, but it's coming for me after my summer in the sun. It's a brand new segment idea, Are You Sad Enough? Now, we are going to have to work on an intro.

Yeah. We are maybe thinking we'll do this song. Yeah, you're great. Are you sad enough? Ooh, ooh. It's like less creepy than the original Are you old enough?

Yeah. Oh yeah. You wouldn't get away with that these days. Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I think we could work with this. Get it through to the hook. Can you fast forward it by 10 seconds at a time? I can, yeah, I can fast forward, yeah Is it? Here it comes

One more Are you sad enough? Whoa Are you sad enough? Ooh, ooh Are you sad enough? And now you know because this song's a bop And then, yeah Okay, this song's a bop.

And then, yeah. Okay, fantastic. That's how it's going to work next time. We wanted you to message in or call. Why are you sad? And we'll try to cheer you up. What's the sad people? Oh, no. Where do you want to start, Vaughan?

Dude, this one hurts. I'm so sad because my one and only child moved up to Auckland from Christchurch at Easter and it's just the two of us. It's just been the two of us for the last 19 years. Oh my God, Vaughan's got tears in his eyes already. Our job, Vaughan, is to be the happy ones. Well, that sounds like heaven to have your place to yourself, doesn't it? Oh my God, yeah, the things I do.

I'm missing you so much and I feel like my right arm's choked. Oh my God, Vaughan. Oh, that's got more. Wait, pull it together. It's not what I'm saying. It's not. Rescue us. There's two of us failing.

You two have got to help us. Okay. Help us. What about now? What about now? Your child's gone. Your child's gone. Hookup's in the lounge.

Yeah, man. Risk-free hookup's in the lounge. I don't know who you're hooking up with. I don't know if you've got a hookup. Get on the hub. Get up there. Get on the hub in the lounge. Put her on the big screen on the TV.

Leah, why are you sad this morning? Oh, because I'm getting a huge filling. And not only am I sad and nervous about that, but it's going to cost over $500. Oh, Leah. Oh, Leah. See, now I've got tears in my eyes. To be honest, Leah, that could be a lot worse.

When you said big filling, I was thinking we were talking an $1,800 root canal situation. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Obviously, Leah, if I can play devil's avocado here for a moment with the dentist. Dentist's avocado, if you will. Yeah.

Obviously, this was causing you some pain, some discomfort. Yeah. Well, no, it's not actually. Oh, shit. Because I reckon sometimes they make up fillings. Oh, no, they don't. They do. They do. They make up fillings. Oh no they don't. They do.

They make up they're like oh you really need this. And then they don't even put the drill attachment on they just numb it up and they're

like and you're like can you feel that and they're like nah. And you're just like oh well I guess I'm better now.

Yeah I guess wow cool. I think Leah you should be happy that you don't live in the bloody 1800s where they'll

just be ripping that out. Exactly which tooth is it, Leah? Oh, it's like top, back. You need that one? That's a chewer. That's a chewer.

You need that one, Leah. Do you like chewing, Leah? Yeah, I like chewing. You like chewing? What's your favourite thing to chew? Oh, a good steak. Yes! Now we're talking!

If you had it ripped out, you wouldn't be chewing up that steak. You're going to be able to chew steak without pain. Also, do you know what you should do, Leah? And dentists don't mind this. Bring your headphones and put bloody something nice in your ears, you know, and tune in. Otherwise, they're trying to yap to you.

And you're like, ah. Susan, I'd love to talk to you about the current situation, the climate of the world, but you've got a whole fist in my mouth. Oh, my God. And Leah should ask Sue to make one of those little buzzy bees climate of the world, but you've got a whole fist in my mouth. Oh my god, and Leah should ask her to make one of those little buzzy bees out of the they will make those if you're good and they'll probably give you a little treat on the way out.

I hope we've cheered you up a little bit, Leah. I'm going to hold you guys to that. I want a buzzy bee before I leave here today. What dentist are you going to? I'll put in a I'll ring them. I'll ring them right now. It's not the school dental nurse. They'll do it. I'll ring them right now. It's not the school dental nurse. They'll do it.

They do it. That's the entire third year of dental school. That's where they all started. Good luck, Leah. William, why are you sad today, William? I'm sad because I have to go to work in the rain and deliver gas bottles to people's houses. And I won't be in bed.

But William, William, as someone who has gas on water, you're doing God's houses. And the rugby is big. But William, William, as someone who has gas and hot water, you're doing God's work. Imagine the joy you're bringing to all those naked people in the shower.

William, imagine someone tonight, imagine William doesn't make his delivery and someone tonight, it's nookie night, it's nookie night and they're like,

let's do it in the shower. They get in, halfway through it goes cold, kills the mood, no one has any sex. Penis retracts. Up inside. It's getting colder. No no has any sex. Penis retracts. Up inside. Up. Up. It's getting colder. Up the nookie.

It is getting colder around the country. There's a cold snap coming. They're predicting what part of the country you're delivering this in, William. Hawke's Bay, mate. Hawke's Bay. It's going to be cold. It's going to be a snap. Right by the ocean. Yeah. Famously right by the ocean. I don't know if it's cheering William up. I don't know.

William, could you put on it? Could you get one of those nice, sort of bright, colourful umbrellas? Yeah. It might be hard to hold on to. William, could you say, knock, knock, knock, it's the gas man. You know, like give yourself a little bit of a scenario. A narrow. Gas man. Gas man.

And maybe you wear a cape. Yeah. Cheer yourself up with a cape. A high-vis cape. Yeah. Do you get to drive a truck, William, when you're delivering the gas bottles? Yes, I do.

Shoot at people. What would four-year-old William say to you if he knew you got to drive trucks? I get to play with the towel lifts all day, so that'll make me happy. Yeah, dude, you get to play with the lifts. I've always wanted to play with the thing on the back of the truck that goes up and down.

Dad used to drive trucks. It was my favourite thing. William, well, I hope we've cheered you up a little bit. Yeah, get out there, William. That's going to help. Thank you. Gasman! Fantastic.

That's what I'd say. Thank you, William. Some messages. We'll finish with some text forms. Some sad texts. I'm going to Mexico next week, and I'm meant to be skinny, and I'm not skinny. Now I'm trying to do a three-month diet in a week. Okay.

No, no. Let me stop you right there. Can I just say I was in Mexico last week. At 7-1. The tacos. You don't arrive skinny. Don't worry about that. There are tacos.

Do you know how you get a beach body? You take your body to the beach. Yeah. And do you know what? Tacos. We're below Mexico on the world's fattest nations. I've just checked. They're fatter than us, so you're going in.

You're probably going in below average. They're going to be looking at you being like, hot damn. I saw some incredibly hot Mexicans last week. Are you sure about that? Hey, shut up. Okay, sorry. This person's probably, by the way, I imagine this person's gorgeous. Yeah, me too.

They're going to Mexico, so that tells me they're adventurous. Yes. And courageous. Oh. And, you too. They're going to Mexico so that tells me they're adventurous. Yes. And courageous. Oh. And you know, those are two very sexy qualities. Yeah. Just look forward to that holiday. I'll say it. I don't know if this person's a guy or a girl. Get your tits out on the beach in Mexico. Is that

okay? You're allowed to do that? No, it's not, Vaughn. Not all beaches are nude beaches. Put them back. No, no. I'm sorry. Maybe I've got the wrong idea of Mexico. Yeah, you do. The lifeguards had machine guns born. I don't know if you'd be getting in your back. You're not going to shoot someone who's got their lovely breasts out.

Great. I love this. Let's do one more. Let's do one more because I am enjoying this. Are you sad enough? Are there some really sad ones? Some really sad ones. I mean, it's, you know, the change of the season often gets people down.

Yeah, there's that seasonal depression, isn't there? I've had a bit of that. That's why I clocked TheraPen 1, because it was just like, you're sad because it's raining. Someone said I'm sad because I just turned 35. Now I'm 35. Oh, okay. I'm still not feeling flirty or fabulous. I just feel fat, broke and tired.

No, no, wait for 40s. Naughty 40s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you've missed your 30 flirties. 30 flirties. You've got your 40s. To be honest, I'll say it. Mid-30s was my highlight.

Yeah, you've just arrived at the beginning. You've got to where you should be comfortable in your own skin. Yeah. You've done the hard yards. You've done the 20s. The late 20s can be tough. A lot of pressure on yourself. And then you've done the hard yards. You've done the 20s. The late 20s can be tough. A lot of pressure on yourself. And then you've got the 40s on the horizon.

And don't be scared of that number. I'll say it. 40s feels good. You'll be with me on that one. Well, apart from the knee and the shoulder. Yeah, and the back. And the back, yeah. And all of a sudden, I can't sleep.

Because you're not telling it. As a 35-year-old. Pull back. Pull back. No, pull back. Pull back. Z No pull back Pull back ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Pixie's in Studes

Good morning Pixie Hello hello In the Studes She's in the Studes Pixie from the office Weaned to Gracie Abrams Last night Where did she play?

Spark Arena Spark Arena Yeah Not only did Sold out Not only did I go I got to meet her Did you?

Yeah What? Yeah Little perk of the work. I know. Little perk work. What was she like in real life? She was a lot smaller than I thought.

She was quite short. I was going to say, she gives me tall vibes. She gives tall vibes. She's always sitting on her tippy toes on stage, so maybe that's why. But she's got the most insane like Pilates arms. Yeah. Yeah. We love a Pilates arm.

Wait, what's a Pilates arm? It's the real strong, long, strong. Wait, is it Michelle Obama? Yeah, we love a Pilates arm. Wait, what's a Pilates arm? It's the real strong, long strong. What's it called? Michelle Obama? Yeah, Michelle Obama, bloody Christopher Luxon's wife. Right, yes. Yes, Pilates arms. 100%. God, you've got a thing for Christopher Luxon's wife. I sure do.

Best thing about the election. The best thing about the election was Christopher Luxon's wife's arm. It's weird though from you because you're a lefty. I know. But my heart's with Chloe Swarbrick. Right, yeah. My heart's with Chloe Swarbrick.

I thought you meant she was left-handed. When you said you're a lefty, I thought you meant left-handed because you're also left-handed. I am left-handed. What's that got to do with Christopher Luxon? I'm a lefty to my core. Okay, so Gracie Abrams, because I watched your social media and at at one point, did you say, bury me to this song or something? To this bridge. Bury me with this bridge.

With this bridge. I think that that so true bridge is probably one of the most iconic bridges of all time. It's that one that just popped off. Of all time. It was all over TikTok all summer. Everyone was doing their little. Now, there's a lot of audience singing. A lot of people singing.

A lot of audience singing. Because your of people singing. A lot of audience singing. Because your voice sounds a pretty good neck. I was definitely singing. Maybe not as loud as some of them. It's a ruder way when you re-watch your concert videos and you've been singing. It's just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, no. I don't know if I can post this. I saw a lot of people posting her Lorde cover, which is... Yes, liability. Such a good song. I don't know if I can post this. I saw a lot of people posting her Lorde cover, which is... Yes, Liability. Such a good song. Great song. She's mates with Lorde, like co-writes and stuff.

Oh, do they? Yeah. Oh, I love this. What would you say looking across... You know when you look across a crowd at a certain concert, you get a vibe. What was the vibe of the crowd? A lot of bows. Gracie's vibe is pastel, colours and bows.

And they were just like bows on everyone's heads as far as you could see. Pastels and bows? Yeah. I would have, we would have stuck out like. Average age? Pretty young. I would have said probably late teens, average age. There are lots of little like school girls getting amongst it.

Oh yeah. School's back, Tuesday night. Not in this house, mate. Your girls wanted to go and you're like, absolutely not. Not on a school night. Taco Tuesday and then bed. Yeah. Because you go to so many concerts,

which is amazing. We're ranking this on your year so far because you've done a lot. Yeah, pretty high. Like, she had such a cool vibe and she was just the most genuine person ever.

And she's been in New Zealand for like 10 days, I think. And she said her whole next album is half of it's going to be written in New Zealand for like 10 days I think and she said her whole next album is half of it's going to be written in New Zealand because they were just writing the whole time so if there's a track called Waiheke on there we'll know why. Well maybe she was the one that fell off the ferry. Passenger Overboard's her next single.

Too many Chardonnays. Passenger Overboard, Chardonnay on Waike. Now, not the only concert that happened last night, yesterday-ish, Beyonce's new tour kicked off. Have you been seeing this online, Pixie? A little bit. Cowboy Carter. Yeah.

So there's a few clips I saw. One of them was like they've rigged a car, a convertible, and she sort of like drives above the audience. Oh, wow. Think Pink with her acrobatics in a convertible. And then I feel like the biggest moment people are talking about is the fact that, you know, Blue Ivy has been travelling with her

and performing with her. It's her oldest child. Yeah. Then she brought out her youngest child, Rumi. She got another one. Yeah. But she's like always kept her out of the spotlight. And then she was there in this little gold dress.

And then you know like Blue's like doing all her out of the spotlight. And then she was there in this little gold dress. And then you know like, Blue's like doing all her dance moves now that she does with her mum. And Rumi, I saw this, she was just like waving like a child. Like really, really, really excited. She's ruined it. She's going back in the cupboard.

Oh no, yeah, she's not ready. That's classic second child behaviour, let's be honest. She's like, how dare you? But the tickets aren't selling. Like, people are saying, like, they're 20 bucks, some of the tickets. What? What? Yeah, they're really cheap because you can't sell them all.

Someone said it's cheaper to go to Beyonce than it is to go to Macca's. Yeah. And get, like, a Big Mac combo. Because I guess, like, the cost of living crisis is insane in the States, like it is here. But also, she just did a big tour, right? Like she kind of just was touring for a while. Yeah. And it was kind of swept under the rug

because I don't know, Taylor Swift had a small tour around the world. Did she? Yeah, she did apparently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something about that. A niche artist underground. Yeah, she did like small venues like Tower Halls. Tower Station. Tower Station, yeah. Smallest concert. A niche artist. Yeah, she did small venues like Tower Halls. Tower Station.

Tower Station, yeah. Smallest concert tour in the world ever. Oh, really? Wow. I think she lost money on it. I hope she finds her feet. Yeah, I think she will. There's potential there.

I think as an artist, I think we're going to hear more from this Taylor Swift. Right. That's the problem is that everyone's comparing it to her tour now. I know. You've got to think about Katy Perry as well. What's hers called? The Lifetime Tour.

No, they're calling it the Timu Taylor Swift Tour. Yeah, because she kind of framed it like... Has Taylor been to space though? No, she hasn't. 12 seconds. Yeah. Pixie, thank you so much. No, thank you.

Get some sleep, love. You go to too many concerts on a school night. On a Tuesday. On a Tuesday. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Now, um, we want to talk about when... What are you groaning about?

Who? You. I didn't grunt. Oh, you sort of had old man grunts as you moved. Did I have an old man grunt? Yeah, you are. I didn't even hear it. You were likeunt. Oh, you sort of had old man grunts as you moved. Did I have an old man grunt? Yeah, you are. I didn't even hear it. You were like this.

Oh, shh. We want to talk about when a wedding ruined a friendship because a bridezilla has been branded trash online. Now, trash, that's a harsh word. Branded trash online after she kicked one of her chosen bridesmaids out of the bridal party because that bridesmaid was honest about the fact that she could not afford to attend the lavish bachelorette party. She was like honest about it.

Which. Just said. Now they've said how much this bachelorette party was going to cost all up. Three grand. Three grand. Per purse. Yes. Per purse a week in Vegas purse, a week in Vegas.

So it's in Vegas, so it'd be like going to I don't know, I guess it'd be like Kiwis going to Melbourne or Sydney or something for bachelorettes. Yeah, totally. And for a long weekend, you'd easily spend that much. Three grand, she messaged saying I'm so sorry, like I cannot attend this, I can't

afford three grand just before your wedding. There was that story just yesterday that New Zealanders are thinking about money and are worried about money. Just over 50% of New Zealanders are worried about money

week to week. Which I would have thought would have been way more. I thought it would have been. Day to day. Who isn't at the moment worried about it? I'm worried about it.

Everyone's worried about it in varying scales. Yeah, and then even billionaires are like, oh, my billion isn't worth the same billion. No, I'm about to slip back to a dirty million. But that's the thing, 3,000, it's a lot of money.

Even just a stag do when you go out to a bar or around town, it's a lot of money. So she said, I told the bride I couldn't afford the Vegas trip. I've been upfront about my financial situation for months. She said it was fine, totally understand, not a problem. Then received a text from this bride being like,

look, I'm going to have to replace you though because it doesn't make sense if you'd be my bride or party so you're out for not showing up. And then that's kind of ended the friendship.

Well, people have said trash took itself out. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I would be like, if someone treated me like that, I'd be like, thank God actually.

I was about to stand by your side on your special day. Absolutely not. Well, this is what we want to know. 0800 dials at M. You can text her at 9696. It doesn't have to be about like bridal parties.

Maybe there was drama at the wedding or before the wedding. We want to know when a wedding ruined a friendship. Or when a wedding broke up a friendship because there was a bridezilla who kicked her bridesmaid out of her bridal party because she couldn't afford to go to the bachelorette. Not a friend, really. Not a friend.

You have some insane messages coming in. I know. I just started reading some and I was like, what? Like, weddings be making people crazy. I'm going to start with a home run. Okay. I was asked to be made of honour in a wedding at the same time my mum, who lived in another city, had terminal cancer.

So I spent a lot of time going back and forth. I went to as many pre-wedding things as possible until one day I had to miss the dress fitting, went to the dress trying appointment because I was with my mum who was in a very bad spot at that time. Then I got a text in our group chat that the bride thought it would be better

should I attend just as a guest because I seemed to be a little too busy with other things. Safe to say, friendship ended and I didn't end up going to the wedding at all. Oh my god, that's disgusting behaviour. The fitting. You've tried on the dress. Who cares? One of my good friends

was getting married. I'd split up with my husband a month before her wedding. I got invited to the wedding by myself but I didn't feel like I was in a great frame of mind to be celebrating love. Devastated, crying all the time, blah, blah, blah. Just didn't think I could cope with going to a wedding by myself. And so I said, sorry, I just can't go. And that was basically the end of our friendship.

She stopped talking to me. Oh my God, it's one day. Mel, when did a wedding ruin the friendship? So I had a friend who was studying to be a florist or doing her thing, being a florist. And she wanted to do my wedding flowers for me, which I thought was really special as a close friend to have her do that for me. And so I was very grateful because wedding flowers are not cheap.

No, not at all. Yeah, not me. And so, yeah, we went over them, like a couple of photos and what colours I'd like. And yeah, and on the day she came in and it was the complete opposite to what we'd talked about. What do you mean? So you'd sent your flowers, your purples and your pinks and she did orange and yellow or something? No, she did like white and like super pale colours. Oh, okay.

And I think it's what she wanted rather than what we talked about. And I was like, oh no. And so that was the friendship over? Yeah, it was really strange because I think she knew when she saw my face. I was trying not to let her know, but it kind of was a bit guffy. What a bizarre move. What an odd thing to do to even ask you what you want and then not to deliver.

How bizarre. Thanks, Mel. So many messages. We'll get to more of those next. Some of these are mad. Honestly, some of this behaviour is just get a grip. And I actually think it's quite good because then you wean out a dud friend.

Yeah, but like it takes this. You were literally invited to their wedding. I know. It turns out you weren't that great of friends anyway. Yeah. Got married as a surprise to everyone at our engagement party. One friend burst into tears and said, how could you do this to me? Turns out she was about to announce her own engagement.

Basically hasn't spoken to me since. Now, I'll say the friend who was about to announce their engagement at your engagement party. Yeah, that's not what you do. No. And then get upset at you for a surprise. Oh, yuck.

Yeah. They need to grow up. Just hold off a few weeks and then announce it. Who cares? Yeah. You get to a certain time in your life

where just every bloody weekend there's an engagement, right? Yeah. Oh, they're engaged. Also, love is dead. Dime a dozen. Lost a friend after she got back her wedding photos and told me I had purposefully tried to outshine her in them.

Now, I was a bridesmaid in a god-awful dress. There's no way I was trying to do that. Yeah, you're in a lavender dress. You're not outshining anyone. That's why you never have a minger in your bridal party. What? No, you want mingers. No, you want mingers.

I did this. I loaded my bridal party out with mingers. Wait, wasn't Fletch your best man? Yeah, dude. The one that stood right next to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The biggest minger of them all. The biggest minger of them all.

Is that why I was your best man? That's why you were my best man. Wow. It hurt all these years later. That hurts. That hurts. Nah, jokes. All these years later. That hurts. That hurts. Ah, jokes. Oh my God, my friend insisted on,

sort of similar to the floral situation, my friend insisted on making my cake for my wedding. Then the day of, she said she just totally forgot. Our friendship never recovered. What? You've got to be having dialogue, eh? There's got to be cake dialogue. You don't forget.

Oh my God. Where's the cake? You're talking icing. You're talking decorations. You're talking colour. You're talking decorations. You're talking colour. You're talking everything. What colour? What kind of thing?

How's the cake going? But maybe they just did it all at the beginning. I would have nipped down to the cheesecake shop. I would have just gone to Supermarket Ice Cream Cake. Costco sponge. Yeah. I would have gone, yeah, a couple of Costco sponges on top of each other. You do something though.

Far out. Okay. There's so many of them. There's so many. Because they're a very emotionally charged time, I guess people are tired and they're expensive and they're running off. My wife rekindled an old friendship and brought her into the friend group.

Ended up having her as a bridesmaid at a wedding. She then turns around and doesn't include us at all in her life. We don't even get invited to her wedding. But everyone else in our friend group that we invited them into was invited. Honestly, when friendships like that end, looking back in hindsight, it them into was invited. Honestly, when friendships like that end,

looking back in hindsight, it was a good thing. Yeah, totally. My bridesmaid called me two days before my wedding to tell me she didn't like her dress so she'd pulled it apart and was now unable to fix it. I was so upset

my mum took the phone and told her to get a new dress made before the wedding and our friendship was over after that. I've got to quick unpick and I'm just unpicking it now. I can't fix it. What do you want me to do? My sister-in-law

made me a bridesmaid for her and my brother's wedding a week before. Oh, she ran. And then she gave me a whole talk about how my brother's not mine anymore. I'm not the special one in his life and she's taking it over. It was so weird. I kept my distance from her for a long time and they got divorced a few years ago.

So, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, he's my brother. Jeepers. Years ago, I attended a wedding. The ceremony was lovely. Come to the speech, it was the husband's turn. He stands up and toasts his bride, saying how beautiful she looks and then asks us to toast as he thanks her for sleeping with his best man

and the groom then walks out. This is urban legend though. It must have happened once, but did that person say they were there? I attended this wedding and then if I go back up, they text again saying, by the way, the friendship is over and no, the bride and the best man

did not get together. Oh, that's the kind of urban legend you hear about, isn't it? I hope you're telling the truth, 433 because that's juicy. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Hit it. Oh, that's good. I hope I don't get

any emails. That's good because this is straight off the laptop. So if you hear like brrink, it's because I got an email. Weird.

Now, weird, tingly, wingly, mingly, Wednesday. Jesus, just name every day

out of the week. No, it's only on a Wednesday we do weird, tingly, wingly Wednesday., just name every day of the week. No, it's only on a Wednesday. We do weird, tingly, wingly Wednesday. We should do it on tingly Tuesday. No, wingly, tingly Wednesday. It's funnier. All right. Wingly, tingly Wednesday.

What about Freaky Friday? No, it's too obvious. And the movie will come for us. On Wednesdays, we want to hear from you about your weird serendipitous moments. Yeah, just scary, unexplainable. Ghosty stories. Spooky.

Unexplainable happenings. Strange coincidences that you cannot explain. Yeah. On Wingly Tingley Wednesday. Okay, we've had a couple of texts come in already. Jeepers. Walking home from a late night event, there was a big scary guy walking towards me

by the Waikato Hospital. Oh. He approached me and smiled and wanted a high five, and then he walked away. That's easily explainable. You're in Hamilton, man. I don't know if that's Weird Tiggly Wednesday. Oh.

That's a starter. Yeah, it is. That's a starter. Who are it is. That's a starter. Who are we calling in the producer booth because there's a couple of other texts but I don't want to

pop that bubble. That first one, I mean, it's a mixture of Are You Sadina? It was a short. It was a short. This one's called Shivers.

How long do you think Wingly Tingly Wednesday is going to go on for? I don't know. Hopefully no longer than two minutes 42. That's all we've got left on this one.

Okay. Knowing us, a little bit longer. We want you to call us now if you've got a story that did make you a little bit weird and tingly and wingly. A little bit of a chill up the spine. Maybe it was a serendipitous moment. Yeah. Goosebumps.

0800-DANCE-IT-M. Text in 9696. Do you want me to read a text? Yeah, read a text. February earthquake in Christchurch. This is a big one. February 22nd. Yeah.

2011. February earthquake in Christchurch. I was at work standing on a balcony. My sister saw me downstairs. And when I got down there, she asked who was holding on to me during the earthquake. I said no one. I was up there alone.

She said there was someone behind you, bracing you. Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh, what? Sounds like sister was having a balcony bonk and she's too afraid to admit it. Oh, he was braced on the balcony. Because that was 10 to 1 in the afternoon. That is no time of the day for a balcony bonk.

No. I mean, you know what? Who am I to say what time of the day you should be having your balcony? Who's on the balcony when you're damn well pleased? I was alone. I was alone. Okay, 0800-DARLS-AT-M is the number.

9696. Give us a call. Vaugh pleased. I was alone. I was alone. Okay. 0800-DARLS-AT-EM is the number. 9696. Give us a call. Vaughan. Welcome to... Restart the music. ...Wingly Tingly Wednesday. I don't know what song it's up to. You've got to start it fresh.

Oh, yeah, that's good. That's Wingly Tingly, man. Welcome to Wingly Tingly Wednesday. Very similar to... Something we've just come up with. We've just... Radio historians. Radio historians know that this is a famous ZM segment from many years ago.

Many, many, many years ago. And we'll keep going until we get our cease and desist. It's the same radio station. How can they cease and desist us? I don't know, man. I don't know. But this is crazy. I don't know.

It's hard for me. I have to bite my man. I don't know. This is crazy. I don't know. It's hard for me. I have to bite my tongue. A lot. A lot of this can be just described with not enough airflow and carbon dioxide. Oh, shut up. I'm not a believer in ghosts. But there are some cool ones. I've seen one.

You've seen it? I've seen one. Again, the ventilation in that Palmerston North Hotel was terrible. It was a modern hotel. I think that might have been carbon monoxide, not dioxide. Or nangs. Kristen, good morning.

Hey, I'm on the nangs. Kristen, good morning. Now, what is your story for Weird Tingly Wingly Wednesday? Well, firstly, long time listener, first time caller. Oh, welcome.

Thank you. Welcome, welcome. I don't know the responsibility of the bell, Vaughan. I don't know why it's over on my side. You had two bells. Now I'm only sending one bell. That's welcome. I don't know the responsibility of the bell, Vaughan. I don't know why it's over on my side. You had two bells. Now I'm only sending one bell. That's yours.

Happy bell. Welcome, welcome. No my, hi to my. Thank you. So when my now 13-year-old son was about two, three, we hadn't long moved into our house that we still live in, which is about 105 years old out in the countryside. Oh, ghosts. Ghosts.

Ghosts of all of the McLeod's daughters. You know where this is going. He used to sort of babble and be clearly quite disturbed by this man. He would talk about this man that he had seen. I'm sorry, Kristen. I'm sorry if I could just pause the story.

The music has turned into some kind of rave music. Yeah, this is not rave. Yeah, that's better. Sorry, carry on, Kristen. Sorry about that. So he used to complain, he used to sort of babble about this man that he would see and he was quite frightened of. And I would question him about it and it never really made any sense.

And then one day, and this had been going on for months, and then one day he and I were sitting him about it and it never really made any sense. And then one day, and this had been going on for months, and then one day he and I were sitting outside in our backyard just minding our own business, enjoying the sunshine and the wind picked up and this weird vibe just totally came over me. I can't explain it and still to this day I've never felt it again.

But there was very much a malevolent presence. Oh, malevolent! Could you say malevolent? Great word. Oh, it was just so creepy. Anyway, and then like a crazy person, I thought, I've had enough of this. And so I just started screaming at the wind and at nothing in the backyard and just saying, leave us alone.

He's just a child. Stop scaring him. Go away. Leave us in peace. This is not your house anymore. And so on. And then that was it. That was the end of it.

We never talked about it again. Oh, my God. I would pay money to see a crazy woman screaming at the wind. Screaming at the ghost. Yeah, screaming at the ghost. Right, but the ghost went away. I hate to say it, but hashtag Hamilton, perhaps. Hamilton.

Okay, and the ghost left, so there you go. There you go. That was it. We're very wingly-tingly, actually. Yeah, that was great. I'm going to give that four nipples out of five. Oh, that's how we're right. Hard nipples, yeah.

I actually do have hard nipples. Yeah, I'm hard. Kristen, thank you. Vaughan, could you please... The music? You're on the music. Grant would never have let the music stop. Why didn't it loop?

It should have looped. Ashley, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Welcome to Wingly Tingley Wednesday, whatever we're calling it. What's your story? Okay.

When I was a child, I had this thing that would visit me every night for around 10 years. He called himself the Black Ghost. I don't like this! I don't like this! Oh, 500 points! 500 points!

500 points! We might have a six nipple rating. Okay. Okay. Sorry, he called himself what? The Black Ghost. Me and my friend thought that was too scary, so we named him Jack. G'day, Jack.

Yeah, so the first time he visited, I kind of woke up at night and I heard, like, a stomp and a drag coming down the hallway. And I got, like, really freaked out and scared. So I kind of, like, rolled over and closed my eyes. Then the sound, it stopped and I turned my head and I saw this tall

black cloaked figure standing over me. Dude. I got sick. Goosebumps. Nipples at six and my eyes are watering Yeah and I've got Goosies on my arms Yeah yeah

I've got arm goosies What happened next It's always so much weirder When it happens to a kid So Go on So I kind of like Tensed up

I crossed my arms Over my chest And I closed my eyes And um He spoke And he said Something along the lines Of your mind

In this really deep Like awful voice. Oh, fuck! I started rolling side to side. I don't know if my bed was rocking or what. I don't know. But I started trying to call out for mum. And as soon as I got a sound out,

I got pins and needles all over my body. And it's kind of like I just went to sleep or passed out and I dreamt about him. And there was lots of children in the dream that told me we had to hide. Far out, Ashley! That is some dark stuff. Oh my God.

You need some magnesium. Ashley, no. Is it magnesium? After the 10-year period, right, when you kept visiting, kept visiting, when did it stop visiting? Like, when did it disappear? So I was terrified of him,

and I tried talking to so many people to get help, and one day I was hanging out with another friend who kind of had, like, a witchy family, and I spoke to one of them about him, One day I was hanging out with another friend who kind of had like a witchy family. Yeah. And I spoke to one of them about him. And I told him he's always with me. And he said, I don't sense anything. I don't sense anything. And then he said, oh, hang on.

I just got pins and needles all over my body. And I started crying because when I first met him, that happened to me. And he said, like, he was just like a guardian, and if I don't want him there, he will go away. And then he was just gone, and I never felt like he was a guardian. I felt like he was possessive. Yeah. That's, oh, good.

We've got a caller of the week, Ashley. Good story, Ashley. That's amazing. Yeah, wow. Okay, you will hook up with caller of the week we've got a chemist warehouse prize pack for you

home of the biggest brands at the lowest prices six nipples goosies everywhere and tears in Vaughn's eyes that was good Vaughn's

messages you love this night night night night night anyway

shut up our first house was a relocated officer's house from a barracks. My daughter used to have to wait for the soldiers to march past before she could use the hallway between her bedroom and the lounge. There was no soldiers. Can I suggest almost a Wingly Tingly Wednesday spillover podcast? Really? We could.

There's so many messages. My partner's brother passed away. We inherited his boat. On our first outing on the boat, we were listening to ZM, of course. Of course. Of course. And the song that played at his funeral came on. That's not weird, right?

Until I tell you the song was Dire Straits Brothers in Arms. Since when do you guys play Dire Straits Brothers in Arms? We don't. Exactly. It's not Top 40 Radio. We've got a ghost DJ on our... A ghost DJ! We've got a ghost DJ!

Play. Zidim. Spledgeforn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. All right, I told you yesterday we were going to hear about the female pope. And you all said, Fonda, these are foolish. Oh, my God. It's a man's job. They won't even let non-whites do it yet.

No. And we all know the order of things. Have you watched Conclave? Men, white men, men, non-white men, somewhere way down below women. Oh, God, yeah. Way down there. I haven't watched Conclave. I haven't watched Conclave.

Conclave, there was, in the story of it, there is a black, what are they called? Bishop, bishop or whatever. Yeah, member of the Catholic Church. Who was like kind of like kind of getting up there. It was quite a lot. It was really nice. And everyone was like, scandal, scandal. Yeah, well, one of the leaders,

one of the top runners apparently is Filipino. Yes, I know. I see this. A huge Catholic nation and loves karaoke. Oh, really? Huge. We're going to have our first karaoke pot. We must try that Filipino meatloaf.

We have been on about that for years. I'd love to go to the Philippines and do some karaoke as well. Because that's just next level. Yeah, the Philippines looks great. I think we can all agree. Yeah. All in agreeance? Aye.

The ayes have it. Well, this isn't about a Filipino Pope. This is about a female Pope. It's the story of Pope Joan. Now, according to the medieval legend, sometime in the 9th century, estimated around 850 AD, a woman disguised herself as a man,

as a test, and rose through the ranks of the Catholic Church. She eventually became Pope, reigning for two years under the name John Anglicus. John of England, or Mains, depending on the version, Mains, as in the music school

that people used to go to to learn how to be a roadie maybe Mains the deception was discovered because while leading a public procession near the Colosseum in Rome

she went into labour and gave birth in the middle of the street oh this feels like a bloody Blackadder storyline it does it does

now she either this is where historians are divided died on the spot from childbirth or being murdered by the angry mob who were like, popes shouldn't be having babies. They should be mans. Yeah, they should be mans. Or was stripped of office and sent to a monastery for penance

and had to live there. So there was even some places. So she was a pope or she was a. She was a pope. No, she was pope for two years. Two years. After the story, after, you know. What do you reckon?

Do you reckon she put on a voice? I love God. You know what God's always saying to us men? Yes. God. I am God. You are a man. I am also a man.

Jesus was a man. We've got this thing on lock. How great are urinals at festivals? Man, those poor sheilas having to line up like that. I don't envy them. And they'll never be Pope. Wink, wink. I mean, don't wink.

Take back the wink. How good are titties? Am I right, lads? Am I right? I mean, touching them, not having them. Oh, no. God, they look awful to possess. Some places in Rome were even apparently called Pope John's Street,

where her labour supposedly happened, near the Colosseum. Here's some weird traditions possibly linked to the legend of Pope John. Can I just ask, because you've used a lot of possibly or allegedly. We're not sure if it's actually happened or not. Historians kind of agree that it did happen. Right. Just the details are thin. That a woman, and this was, wait,

they were changing popes left, right, centre, back. Why can't we have a female pope? Or we can. Because she's so catty and all the bitchiness. Yeah. And you imagine she gets, and then all of a sudden, there's a couple of female deacons and then a bishop, and then all of a sudden,

guys can't have their voices heard in the Catholic Church. Yeah, exactly. Oh, dear. It's all lippy. It's all lippy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It won't stop. And then they're like,

this Pope gown makes me look fat. And then everyone has to be like, you're not fat. I'm not looking that fat. The papal gowns are often white as well. You've been taken there. She gets a period. She's doing a few tours around.

Yeah. So, weird legends linked to this. There is a thing called the sederia securiana which literally translates to a dung chair which is an ancient chair with a hole in the seat like a toilet seat so from after this to test that you'd be eligible

to be pope you'd have to wear your papal gowns nothing underneath you'd sit on the dung chair and they'd reach under and make sure you had testicles it just sounds like someone that wants to touch someone's balls. Yeah, it feels like someone made that rule. It sounds like someone made that rule because they wanted to touch some balls.

This is the only way we'll know if they're a sheila. I've got to grab the balls. I'm going to have to test the whole town. Everyone on. A pope has to apparently be confirmed by having mild genitalia by a cardinal exclaiming, Duos habet in benilaiming, Even now. Which says he has two testicles and they hang well.

Christ. This is so stupid. Anyway. So today's fact of the day on Pope Week is that sometime in the 9th century, a woman disguised herself as a man, rose through the ranks of the Catholic Church and became Pope. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I have a question. Yeah, and Haley I have a question yeah do you I have a question for you fools and I need answers that's crazy Arnie I could give you

the answers no your Arnie impression is not coming along it's your comedy weak spot it's your comedy blind spot

you're very good at comedy this is your comedy you need one can't have weak spots you certainly can't be an arty person. No, I will not be defeated.

That was better. No, it wasn't. It really wasn't. Okay, you've got a tech question. We've got this old iPad, right? Yeah. And we've had it

for a long time. What generation? I don't know. Early. It's not like a tomb. It's a big one. It's got a Zootopia sticker on the back.

That kind of tells you how long ago it came out. That movie came out in what, like 26, 17? Okay. We've had it for a while. But it didn't get used a lot for anything other than Peppa Pig episodes. Basically, that was all it was used for. You chuck a whole lot on if the kids needed to be distracted, and they'd watch it.

Yeah. And then it hasn't been used for ages. Now, it still works. It's functional and it's quick. It does that thing where you click the button and it's immediately on. It's not like when your Apple stuff gets a bit old and you click the button and it's like,

hold on a minute. Hang on. And then an Apple shows up. Yeah. The Apple logo's here. Here for ages. Yeah. You know, what's happening here?

So it's still kind of got a little bit, it's got a good reaction. You tap it on the knee, it's giving the kick. Okay. But no one knows the password. Oh no. So it said,

plug it into iTunes. And I was like, easy. Because the computer we've got now is just a clone of the computer we had before,

which was a clone of the computer we've had before. It's the same computer. He doesn't like change. He likes consistency. You know, when I get a new computer,

I'm just like, yeah, copy everything, put that on there. there yeah and I always end up buying more storage because I don't want to have to clean up the mess that I've made over years and years and years of editing videos and downloading every photo I take yeah so I don't want to deal with that so I plugged it in and it's like and where's the iTunes it didn't say that but effectively it said where's the iTunes I said great question great question. Where is iTunes? It doesn't exist. iTunes doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't exist anymore.

We're not buying a song for $1.99 anymore. But what do I plug my thing into now? Well, it's just on the cloud. You just do it on the cloud. This is pre-cloud. Oh. This has literally been in a drawer for ages. Also, if you don't know the pin number.

I know what? You're not getting into it. And it's a six digit pin. Who sets a six digit pin? Me. Who set it? I do six digits. I don't know. I do four. I do six. you're not getting into it and it's a six digit pin who sets a six digit pin me who set it I do six digits I don't know

I do four I do six I would have done four this would have been I and I said to the girls I'm like you probably thought it was cool

as a four year old to have your own pin yep and they're like well I can't remember that it'll just be like 040404 or something or like their birthday

tried all of it and now it's got to the point where we've tried so many things every time you try it and you get it wrong, it's like, for an hour, I'm going to need a sit down. Oh, disabled. So have you tried some of that Israeli spy software? You know I love my Israeli spies.

That's how I got my passport. Aren't they the pinnacle of like, what do they call it? Pegasus or something? Spyware? It's like the... I don't know. Who told you I've been looking that up? Surely it's registered. The device is registered to you.

Someone just messaged, I don't know. Because on the back it'll have you'll have proof of the SKU number or something. SKU number? What is this? An Apple? I don't know. And then it will whatever that number is, and then you'll be able to contact Apple and say,

I am the rightful owner of this. They'll just be like, dude, this is a 12-year-old iPad. Forget about it, get a new one. I've got the answer to your tech problem. Buy a new one. That costs money. They cost so much more now than they did back in the day. And that's all this one will gain use for is just watching things.

At the gym. Yeah, because you know mine's on the out and out. Because it's like, oh I don't do updates anymore and sometimes I'll just turn myself off and my battery lasts for one hour long episode of something and I'm old, I need to sit down. Just get a cheap one then.

Somebody said iTunes still exists and you can download What did you just say to me? What? I feel like you're at that level of... Did you just tell me to get a tablet? Did you just tell me to get a Lenovo tablet? Yeah, I think you are. I think you're a tablet guy.

All he's doing is logging into websites. Guys! What do you need all the ad-libs for? You're a dead tablet guy now. I'm not a dead tablet guy. Back off. Back off. You know, being a father is my proudest role.

It's the one I love the most. I'm not ready to do dad tablet. I think he's ready to do dad tablet. Don't make me do dad tablet. All he does is watch TV shows on it. Don't make me do dad tablet. It's dad tablet time, hon. You're going to save a lot of money on a dad tablet.

They're like 200 bucks. I know, but they need to be replaced every four months because they get viruses super easy. Yeah, it's fine. You won't worry about it. You won't even know that you've got a virus. You're a dad. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

What did your lunchbox look like when you were a kid? We're speaking from very privileged positions of children that were given lunch every day from home. Never went hungry. It was just a Tupperware, I think. I had Tupperware, but if I lost it, I lost the privilege. Dude. And I was given an ice cream tub.

Dude, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And if I used to, you know, you come home for the end of term and you'd leave a sandwich or a banana in your backpack and then it would go off and it would go all moldy and you'd probably have to bin the bloody system or whatever.

Then it was ice cream, tip-top tub. Yep. Shame. Did you ever decorate your tip-top tub? Yeah, put stickers on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to cover up the fact

that your mum only ever bought French vanilla. Aww. Yeah. It's okay, guys. You alright? Yeah, I'm okay. Again, privileged. We got orange chocolate.

Did you? We got like, we got a little bit of a raspberry ripoff. Oh, we got a hand-pulled it off her. You didn't get gold rush? No, we never got gold rush. Oh, no, no, no. We weren't that privileged. Okay, no, sure. No, no, no, no? We got like boys and pretty ripples. But you didn't get gold rush. No, we never got gold rush. Oh, no, no, no. We weren't that privileged. Okay, no, sure.

No, no, no, no, no. Go to gumdrops? Special occasion. Birthdays. Yeah, yeah, birthdays only. Birthdays only. Yeah. Because the kids these days,

they've got these compartmentalised lunchboxes. Oh, this is what Shannon has. Don't you have one of these as well, Georgia? Yeah, guys, I was going to say, it's not just the kids. Every day I pack mine.

In fact, I feel weird today because last night I went to Gracie Abrams pre-party and I wasn't at home to pack my lunch because I cut my orange up into little segments, my pineapple, and it's all in its little segments and my boiled eggs, everything is in a compartment. And it's all kept separate.

Yeah. This is the thing that blows my mind. We had to have a soggy sandwich because of the... Because the apple smashed it on the bus ride to school. The apple was like rolling around, smashing up things. Yeah. And then the banana would be like, I'll get through that. And then the bag of chips would pop and there'd be crumbs all through it.

And that was just life. Yeah, you do this, Shannon, where you've got your little grapes in one compartment and your bag of chips in the next. I haven't been able to do it for a while because I discovered you have to clean them and that was just too much. Yeah, it feels too much. It is a lot of cleaning.

They are a nightmare. The compartments are a nightmare to clean and I loved a little pretzel or something and it was just like once a grape crossed enemy territory, it was soggy central and I couldn't be bothered cleaning it. This is what we lived with in the 80s and 90s? Yeah, this is what we dealt with. How did the grape get into another compartment?

Well, I have a best hat for work. It was the grape escape. No, Shannon, don't clap. I did it. I quite like that. No, Carwin, stop clapping your hands about it. Well, don't clap that lame joke. It was pretty good.

I'm not doing any clapping. No, hands on hips. No, guys guys a little tidbit though if you are going to cut up your fruit. Tidbit? Tidbit.

No why are we tidbitting it? I'm just trying to ruin her life. I'm just trying to send her off into her next decade saying tidbit.

Guys just a little tidbit. Do you know somebody said when we lost our lunchbox someone messaged when we lost our lunchbox we got the ice cream tub. Guess what we got when we lost the lunchbox, someone messaged, when we lost our lunchbox,

we got the ice cream tub. Guess what we got when we lost the ice cream tub? A hiding. Sandwich bag. Bread bag. Bread bag. Bread bag. Yes.

A tip top or a Molenberg bread bag. Yes, yes, yes. Molenberg bread bag. Now, I can't speak to what it was like taking yoghurt for lunch as we never got yoghurt. Oh, we did. My mum made her own in the Easy Yog. Okay, because what kind of,

did that go into a small container? It had a smaller tub, yeah. Because someone said, you didn't know pain until you opened your ice cream tub for lunch and the banana had perforated the roof of the yoghurt and it was just everywhere. And your mum made egg sandwiches,

which was so embarrassing. Oh no, guys, that was, I used to get ham ones and I felt bad, like I still to this day, it haunts me, never ate them. They always stay at the bottom of my... Was it ham or was it luncheon and tomato sauce?

No, because I love luncheon. But weirdly always loved ham. But I was like, don't give me this for lunch. And then she started making me club sammies. Club sandwiches? Are you kidding me? Also, I had a chilli bag. I had one of those cute little chilli bags.

To keep the yoghurt cool. Oh, no, we had warm yoghurt. Right off egg. Yeah, in summer. The summer months of school, it was warm everything. Warm egg sandwich, warm yoghurt. Of course. You don't know how good you had it. Yeah, you don't.

Guys, this is public school over here, eh? Oh, yes. Yeah. Christchurch. Christchurch public school. What school did you go to? What church did you go to? What church did you go to? Benside. Oh, B. Yeah. Christ Church. Christ Church public schools. What school did you go to? What church did you go to? What church did you go to?

Ben's. Oh, you've been to Ben's. Yeah, she's got her numbers. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.