ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - April 3rd, 2025

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod; Boomerasking Hayley's mystery scratches Top 6 - Suggested punishments for cats breaking curfew 85% of affairs happen at work SLP - Can you do 11 push-ups? Can you use Chat GPT as a therapist Hayley's gym shower Love on the spectrum is back What could you talk about for 24 hours? Your invited to the party!! Dua Lipa's show review Fact of the day What body part do you regret getting tattooed? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Thanks, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. How about a little bit of warning before you put the sliders up, friend? How about a little bit of warning?

No, we're just talking about the rain. We've got rain outside. It's been a while. Yeah, New Zealand getting a, what do they call it? An atmospheric river. But. Name your rock we spent? The atmospheric river.

Atmospheric river. Yeah, a bit more like hippy dippy. Yeah, a lot of places around the country needing rain. So. Yeah. As sad as it is. I think where it falls too fast on dry land. You know, I don't need to tell you guys.

Oh my God. That's a problem. The land gets wet. No, it slides right off. Slides off. Just runs straight off. Runs straight off. What we want is slow, it slides right off. It slides off. It just runs straight off. Runs straight off. What we want is low, slow rainfall.

Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to get it. That's what we were just saying. Hopefully, it's low and slow. And it doesn't run straight off. It will run straight off. That's my biggest concern is it running straight off. We'll give you another chance today on the show to get in the draw for ZM's World Tour,

the Island Edition. Your chance to pick either Rarotonga, Fiji, or Hamilton Island. How good would that be right now, speaking of rain? So listen up for the activator to go in the draw. The top six is coming up. Yes, the top six suggested punishments for cats breaking Melbourne's curfew. Melbourne, the city of Australia, is going to put a curfew on cats. You're going to be there in literally a week.

I will. My brother lives in Melbourne. He has two cats that roam freely. Well, no. What they're just, you can't just lock it. I mean, I lock my cat up. They need to be kept inside from 8pm till 6am. Rolly would tear the place down.

He gets so stressed out if we lock him down. Well, the other option is if he's wandering the streets, he gets shot. You want him shot? No, he gets shot. You want him shot? No, he doesn't. You want Rolly shot? No. Well, so they have, like, snakes and stuff roaming around. Yeah, but it's to protect the snakes.

Oh, no one wants snakes. No one wants snakes born. When you hop into bed. Snakes are the native species. Do you know what? I was a big Gareth Morgan guy. I was like, ban the cats. Ban the cats.

You can have the cat you've got, but no more cats was my idea. No. When you curl up in bed, what do you want nestled between your knees? A woman who was born in a country between the tropic of Capricorn and cancer. Oh, and the banana belt. Your options are the banana belt. That's what I want. Your options are snake or cat.

She can snuggle up to my banana belt, if you know what I'm saying. Snake or cat. Snake or cat. Well, she'll snuggle up to my snake, if you's what I want. Your option's a snake or cat. She can snuggle up to my banana belt, if you know what I'm saying. Snake or cat. Snake or cat. Well, she'll snuggle up to my snake, if you know what I mean. With her cat. Heyo, what a start to the show. You filthy girl.

She doesn't want your lady finger. Oh, you do. Excuse me, I'm going to come with a chiquita bananas. Or just one chiquita bananas. Oh, ah. I know. 20 boys. We'll deal with this in the top six soon on the show.

Play ZM's F Flashborn and Hayley. Okay, boomerasking. Apparently every office place has a boomeraska. Boomeraska. Boomeraska. Boomeraska. A boomer, an asking question boomer? Not close.

Asker is the right part. The boomer bit comes from boomerang. Okay. So there are three types of boomeraskers and I think we recognise all of these. A boomeraska is someone who

asks a question and then immediately makes it about themselves. So for example, Vaughan, what did you get up to last night? I'm panicking. What are you, Gen Z? You just got asked a question, you can't do it.

Okay, go again. Go and watch TV. Go again. Hey, Vaughan, what did you get up to last night? I had a panic attack. Yeah, I had a panic attack. Mine was really massive. And actually, for me, it was like one of the biggest I've ever had.

So I was... Wait, so, okay, right. You just made that about yourself. It's making it about themselves. They ask a question with the intention. Yep. Of boomeranging it back around. So you get, here's the three.

Ask bragging. So I ask a question to then brag about something positive. You'd be like, how's Susan going at school? Who's Susan? Your daughter. How's Susan going? I don't have a? Your daughter. How's Susan going at school? I don't have a daughter. Do you have a child?

No. We are role playing. Oh, okay, sorry. How's Susan going at school? What's his character's name? Mewar. Terry. Terry.

I'm Terry. A rug merchant from Istanbul. Yes. So you've got to do the accent. I'm not doing the accent. It's 1984. Yeah. Because that's the only acceptable reason to have a child in high school called Susan.

Right. And I'm going to, How's Susan going at school? Terribly. Because my Charlotte is killing it. Totally. You've just asked me about my Susan just to talk about your daughter.

Maybe a more sort of relevant example could be like you're looking great. Have you been to the gym recently? What are you lifting? The weights that are there. What's your heaviest? I don't know.

What, like 10 kgs? Yep. Oh man, I clocked that last year. It's a good feeling. See? Yeah, son of a bitch. You boomer ask about me. You boomer ask.

Son of a bitch. You've got an ask brag. You've got an ask complainer asking a question to then vent about a negative experience. So the question, I'm not even, I don't care what your experience is. God, bloody, Carwen. Isn't she just an awful woman? We're role-playing, Carwen.

She's not liking that example. Oh, my God. Our producer, Carwen, isn't she awful? I don't think she does a fantastic job. Oh, my God. Because she's, I'm just, I don't care what you think. I want to have a little thing. And then the third one is ask sharing.

Asking a question to then share something neutral that only the asker finds interesting. So you're going, what did you, Vaughan, you'd go like, what did you watch on TV last night? I'd be like, White Lotus. You'd be like, I watched Star Wars. And then you'd tell me about Star Wars. I'd be like, I don't care.

You don't care. You don't care about what I watch. You want to talk about Star Wars. That's the one I watch Star Wars. And then you'd tell me about Star Wars. I'd be like, I don't care. You don't care. You don't care about what I watch. You want to talk about Star Wars. That's the one I'm guilty of. Yeah. Asking something because I really want to talk about something that I haven't talked to anybody about and no one cares about. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. I honestly thought when you said boomer asking, I thought it was going to be like, how do I connect to the Wi-Fi? Like boomer questions. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what's – How do I flip the camera around? I? Like boomer questions. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do I flip the camera around?

I've lost the printer. I don't know where it's gone. Can you please reconnect me to the printer? I don't think it matters what age you are. You always lose the printer. Dude, those printers. They need to sort out their printer thing. Yeah, yeah. Printers are the weak part of the Internet of everything.

They're like, we don't need cables anymore, but we haven't made it better. Yeah. Just give me a cable. Maybe I'll connect to a Wi-Fi. Maybe I'll be on Bluetooth. Maybe I'm going to go back to 2004 and use a little infrared

if you're close enough. And then I'm a printer. It turns out that the ink cartridge wasn't full to start with. Oh my God. And I'll print eight pages and I need new ink.

Guess what? I've got a paper jam and I'm not going to tell you where in my giant setup it is. I'm chewing this paper up. You are not a Xerox service man. You're just going to pull this thing apart and try to find it, baby. It felt good to vent about printers

for a second. I almost swore at printers. Did you? I almost said F you, printers. They deserve it. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. I have had a mystery on my hands, I reckon, for a year. And I cannot figure it out. Okay.

Well, we can help. We own a detective and PR agency, Slick and Eagle. Slick and Eagle? Who's Slick and who's Eagle? Yes. Slick? Yep. Eagle. Yep. Okay. Fletch is Slick, I'm Eagle. Slick's an otter, Eagle's an eagle, obviously. I figured

that one out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never really thought about it. Slick is explaining. Slick is the otter and eagle. We've got a logo. We're very good. Yeah, we've solved several cases. And then we branched out into PR. Yeah.

PR. A lot of crisis management. Yeah, crisis management. That's, oh my God. I'm going to LinkedIn. It's on LinkedIn. How much are you charging me, Slick and Eagle, for this? Freebie, buddy.

Freebie, we're pro bonos. Pro bonos? Pro bonos. Huh? Pro bonos. The guy from U2. Pro bono. We're very pro U2.

We're very pro bono. We liked it when they put the album on the iPod with that ask. We were the only ones. Yeah. You guys were like, this is sick. Yeah, that's what we said. Heck yeah. Thank you, Apple, for forcing U2 on us.

Yeah, yeah, great. We never forget that moment in time. That was insane. That was insane. Yeah. Okay, here's my mystery. What did you call us? Crisis management.

Yeah, I'm going to add that. Crisis management specialist, I'd say. Crisis management specialist. That's far out. The way you said that was real hot. Yeah, yeah, nice. Okay, well well I need your detective skills for this.

I would say over the last year I would periodically look down at my knee and see that it is scratched and bleeding. Okay. And I'd look at it and be like, I must have rubbed against something. And then that scratch would turn into a light scar

and then maybe a month or so later, I'd look down. And it's happened again. And can you see? What the? That's a cat. That looks like a cat scratch. It's not a cat. My cat would never.

One. He's a very disciplined cat. This happened yesterday. So I've got this big scratch on my knee. But if you look here. There's light ones. One, two, three, four, five, six old ones. So there is a scratch occurring on my right knee.

Obviously from the same cause, I've done this. All my jewellery is soft. There's no claws poking out. There's no, I wear all these bangles every day. There's nothing. What is this? I would have blamed a car, but of course you've changed cars recently. I've changed cars.

I've changed cars a couple of times. A car doesn't scratch your knee, though. No, but the keys might hang. There might be something on the key ring. She's changed cars. That's last night, but then there's one under that. That would have been a week ago. There's another one under that.

And there's old ones. Same spot. It looks like quite a fine scratch. Very fine. And they hurt. Do they hurt? No, I don't even notice them happening. And they hurt. Do they hurt? No, I don't even notice them happening. Like paper cuts.

I don't even notice them happening and I'll just look down. She's kneeling in paper. I don't know, are you kneeling near any paper? I had a tumble near the origami. I think I do, yeah. Well, my floors are made of paper. Roses? Do you have anything prickly in the garden?

No roses. No, but this came up yesterday. Like, I was in a studio yesterday. It just happens to be. What is this? It's a piece of clothing. It's something. Is there a pin in some clothing?

Come on, slick and otter. Would slick and eagle. Slick and eagle. There's no use having slick and otter. Those are two otters. I go high for a bird's eye view on it. What's the otter's purpose? He's getting in.

He's slippery and he's slick. Yeah. And I'm bird's eye view. I could have an overview of things. This has got to be a piece of clothing. But. But. That's got a pin or like a

What is it? Like is it do you have like something from an op shop and there's a staple in there from an old price tag or a pin? Do you have knickers that you're pulling on and as they go over the knee administering the scratch? Great option. Because I was thinking you would change clothes

you've got so many outfits. I pull up the undies. Something's in there. Scratch the right knee. Yeah. You're not keeping a spare key in your knickers? Always. For your chastity belt that'll be it. Yeah, that'll be it. Well the chastity belt's on lock as you know. Obviously. It's just the most bizarre thing and it's been

happening all the time. I looked down yesterday and was like oh my gosh. What about when it happens you trace your steps backwards maybe a few hours? Yeah, okay. That could be great. I'm just indicating to my fellow detectives that there might have been a little drinky poo. This is not a drinky poo issue

thank you very much. This happens while I'm in the workplace. Bizarre. I think she's slick for a sidebar with the material. I think she might be drinking at work. I am not drinking in the workplace. Someone's messaged in, is it cracked? It's not a crack, it's definitely a scratch.

Dry knees, cracked skin. I'm not that dry. No, it's definitely, they're very light scratches. Very fine. What a mystery. What an absolute mystery. Complete mystery. Will you guys be useless?

No. One star on Yelp. One star on Yelp. Took them my case. Couldn't solve it. It's an ongoing investigation. You've got to give us some time. Baffled.

Something under the table someone texted him. Have you? Okay. I'm just going to scrape my... Dude, there are LED lights under here. And I always scratch myself on them. Yeah, but don't look under the table. People have put chewing gum and bogeys.

Oh, no. In the studio? Under the desk. Is that a sharp bogey? Don't look. It could be a sharp, crusted bogey. 100%? Were you sitting on your thing?

Do you ever scratch across these LED light strips? I can feel them now. Yeah. Because that's sharp as hell. I'm always knocking it in. I think that might be it. Slick and eagle. Slick and eagle. Take my money might be it. Slick an eagle. Slick an eagle.

Take my money. Five stars. Another case solved. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. He, he, he. Hated that. He, he, he.

Hated that. Melbourne City Council. Wah, wah. Nope. Wah, wah, wah. Melbourne City Councillors have said our parks, gardens and waterways are home to a wide range of wildlife species that are at risk from the predation. Love that word. Great word.

Of roaming cats. Oh, back off. Cats, prounds, small animals including native species and are estimated to kill millions of mammals, birds and reptiles annually. I agree. That's just a circle of life. That's a circle of life and it doesn't, like, what's the balance of the joy that the cat brings me? Also, I wonder if they do make this a thing, and they look back in a few years, and they're like,

God, we've got so many rats and mice. Yeah. Skinks. Yeah, that's a good call. But you can think about that, did you, you lefty greenie? Yeah, you bloody lefty greenie. Jesus. You cat-hating lefty greenie.

I don't hate cats. Your left wing's hanging out. Mine, too, are dead, and I don't want to talk about it. Your fly's down, and your left wing's hanging out. I can see the left one, and it's hanging out. Well, they're going to put a cat curfew in, and cats will need to be kept inside from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. You can't do that to cats that aren't, like, you just,

it's not like a dog. You can't train them in the same way. If we started locking Rolly in at night, he would just go absolutely berserk. Yeah. And he would be sad and angry. Put him down. I will punch you in your throat. What are they saying what the fines will be?

Will they fine you if they find you puss? Yeah, they'll, like a roaming dog, basically. What? If they can get them. It is so ridiculous. They're cats. Yeah. Somebody else

who's a counsellor said it doesn't go far enough. If they wander during the day, they do just as much damage. Oh. Get a grip. But yeah, also like, yeah, what's the difference?

Like, they're still going to be out during the day. Yeah. They do hunt a little bit more at night. Like, Raleigh over brings in stuff at night.

Yeah, nocturnal predators, right? They use their eyesight and such. And their stealth. Well, I've got the top six suggested punishments for cats breaking curfews. Number six on the list.

They'll get some time in the penalty litter box. What? They'll get some time in the penalty box. The penalty litter box. Because cats use litter boxes. And they get time

in the penalty box. I was kind of hoping that the joke would get better as you explained it. They'll get some time in the penalty box. Better? Better, slightly better. Less chunky. All right.

Number five. Okay, let's try. I'm not giving up, guys. Top six suggested punishments for cats breaking curfews. Number five. First strike is a minor histamina, but next time it will be a feline. Okay, that's pretty good. I think the joke was good, but it did too much.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You think it didn't need the feline. I think it was a bit of a shamble. It's also based on America law. Yeah. Oh, really? Which most people aren't familiar with.

Australians don't have felonies. I thought Australia had felonies. Do they? I don't know. We don't call it felonies, do we? No, we don't say people aren't familiar with. Do Australians not have felonies? I thought Australia had felonies. Do they? I don't know. We don't call it felonies, do we? No, we don't say you're a feline. Yeah. Feline.

Yeah, no, no, we understood it as well. A minor. Breaking it down to make it better. A minor stamina. Yep. It's cats. Number four on the list of the top six punishments for cats breaking curfews. They'll get nine life sentences.

Better. Yeah, better. Clean. Tiny joke. Short, eh? Punchy. Punchy and good. I'm not laughing, but know that I found it funny. Yes. I like that. I do like how we're doing, sort of workshopping it as we go. Do you like this? So when we actually go on air with it, rather than

this practice break we're doing. No, we're on air now. It's going to be at Biggy Pim? Yeah, this is live. Oh no. Okay. Well, number three on the list of the top six

suggested punishments for cats breaking curfews. They'll get put on report and have to check in with their probation officer. See, he missed report. Report. We heard it.

I heard it, yeah. He missed that. Totally missed report. Yeah, they'll get put on report. That's such a shame. It's half a joke. He's got a half joke on your hands there. No, because missed that. Totally missed report. Yeah. They'll get put on report. That's such a shame. It's half a joke. It's got a half joke on your hands there. No, because they'll have to report to their probation officer.

Probation officer. Yeah, yeah, but. That was the joke. But the joke's full potential was two jokes. You did one. I did one. So it's actually a half joke. So it's a half a joke.

Yeah. Better than none a joke. Yeah. Number two on the list of the. I imagine as well they have to go to the district... Ah, no, I've got two more to go. What did you say when I thought? That was a funny one. I did a really good one.

District High Court. Wait, do it at the end. Which is the funny one of the show? What did you say? High Court. I didn't have that one. Yeah, the District High Court. Ah, dude, that rules.

That's actually really good. Thank you. And that's today's top six. I'm with you. No, come on. You've got two more. No, carry on. Number two on the list of the top sausages and punchers.

Just like calendar week, he tried. High Clort. High Clort. High Clort is so good. Yeah. It's so good. The police will arrest them. Hey, come on.

That is one of the ones I've got left. People are texting it. I love this. That's one of the ones. I love this. Come on. Come on. Give Vaughn a go.

Come on. Number two on the list of the top exegesis punishments the cat's ready to go. I can't even say it. Poor lease got ruined. That was my number one. They have to attend a

problematic pussy course. Because they're problematic. The worst one. They have to attend a... Oh, I better go with another one. They have to attend a purblematic pussy course. Because they're purblematic. The worst one. Wait. The weakest. Especially at number two. I would have had that in six, if at all. Yeah.

All right, what's number one? Here we go. Here's going to be a goodie. I don't want to anymore. Because the person who text messaged in did it way better for word economy. Someone just texted in top six for like top socks.

Oh man. Oh. Yeah, wow. Oh man. Yeah. Oh man. Number one on the list of the top six. Top socks. That sort of sounds like to Australians. Or do we the top six punishments. Punishments. Well, that sort of sounds like to Australians.

Yeah. Or do we say top six? The top six, number one, top six punishments for cats caught breaking curfew. The poor lease will take them to the high court. But that was Fletcher's joke. And the poor lease one was the texter's joke. I'm just going to end the segment here.

I'm just going to... Holy moly. This stat actually bloweth my mind. So, affairs, right? They happen. They occur. Affairs of the heart. Affairs of the heart. Affairs of the bedroom. Apparently... Affairs at that corporate

conference. Wow. Apparently. Affairs at that corporate conference. Wow. Apparently, 85% of affairs start in the workplace. Do you know why? Why? Spend too much time at work. People spend too much time at work. Yeah, you totally do.

A third of your life, right? Sleeping, working, and then living. Yeah, and if one suffers, it's sleep. Yeah. If you get home from work late and it's eating into your living time, you just stay up later, you get less sleep. Yeah. But work's the one thing that you don't, you know, that doesn't suffer when it comes to staking a claim to your day.

Yeah. Yeah, because you're always there for certain hours. Yeah. Bingo, car, chingo. 85%. 85%. So we're working too hard. That's the problem.

No, I don't think that's the problem. I think you're not working, you're flirting. Relax. Everybody work less. You're flirting too much. But also my friends that are single. You've got to squeeze in your flirting where you can basically. And you're at work so much that you've got to double up. You do it at work. So all of my friends that are single,

I'm always asking them, and they're always asking me, where do you meet people? Because you go, like you say, you live your life and you go to work. So, of course, you're meeting people at work and they're making a connection and flirting. 85% though, that really blew my mind. And apparently one in five people admitted to having a bit of a, a little bit of a, even a little office romance,

kind of just a little, even a flirtation. So not like taking it any further than that. No, but that one in five could be anything from a little texty ha ha ha hand on shoulder to full blown in the bathroom. Right, okay.

All that. I wouldn't do it at the bathroom here at work. Or the work conference. If I was anybody. No. The surface is hard. I was in there the other day and some guy came in and I like vibrated all around me. It's not the sexiest place, is it? No. so that every surface is hard. I was in there the other day and some guy came in and I... Yeah, it's not the sexiest place, is it? Oh, it's not a sexiest bathroom.

Also, work is an escape for people that already have things. So this psychologist said, we ask our spouses to be everything to us. Co-earners, co-parents, co-house runners. Got to be hot till you're 95. We're still going to be sleeping together that whole time. You've got to like the same things I do

throughout our entire life. Go to the same things. Eat the same things. Can I go back to hot till your 95? That's my plan. Is that where you're like actually you can get fat now, Beryl. At 95? At 95. Beryl, let go. Let it go at 95. This is quite an unrealistic list, all of that, isn't it? A little bit unrealistic.

So then we go to our workplace and we go, well, this is a bit more fun. Fletch does have nice shoulders. Thank you. You do actually have really nice shoulders. Thank you. What's Fletch's sexiest part? I know it. I had this loaded question.

Dude, his legs. Specifically his calves, but his legs on a whole. But his thighs as well. When he sits and you get that line of on a whole. But his thighs as well. Stop it. He's got those, when he sits and he gets that line of the quad muscle. The quad and the hams. Yeah.

The whole thing. Did he send you the picture? Oh, that was in the group chat and his yellow togs at the beach. Yeah, I know. Dude. Well, you can't be sending me stuff like that. I'm getting more corny over here. I don't know how to take all these compliments. Dude, it's usually me.

I don't even know what to do. Put them in the pockets of those yellow togs. There might not be enough room. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying. Oh, my God. He's I don't even know what to do. Put them in the pockets of those yellow dogs because there might not be enough room. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying. Oh my God, he's stacked. He's a king over here. Silly little pole.

He's a king in his castle. You're a silly little pole. You're a little silly pole. Yeah, it was nothing little about your pole. Not my silly little pole. Not my silly little pole. Not my silly little pole.

Not my silly little pole. Yeah, show me them legs again. Silly little pole is coming up. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Can you do 11 full push-ups? How many do you think you could do in a row, like non-stop?

Yeah, apparently there's no universal measure for this, but studies suggest that being able to do 11 or more push-ups is associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease events, particularly for men. That's great. Because I did boys. The girls said to me, how many could you do in a minute? I said, 45 in a minute. Oh yeah, good.

45 in a minute? Yeah. Mine would get pretty bloody short. You know what I mean? You're going tit to floor for the first few. Do you start when the titties hit the floor? When the titties hit the floor. When the titties hit the floor. Do you go down to your nose? Yes. I start with my

nose. Or doodle. Or ding dong. What hits first, the nose or the doodies hit the floor. Do you go down to your nose? Yes. Yeah. I go tap. I go to my nose. Nose or tea. Or doodle. Or ding dong. Sometimes the doodle. What hits first, the nose or the doodle? The doodle. My man. No, you've got to keep your back a lot straighter, bro.

Yeah, I think I've got to pop that. I think you're arching. I think you're getting tired. I'm humping the ground like a horny dog. You're thrusting forward. Yeah. That's not right. Yeah, doodles shouldn't be touching.

Oh, okay. Doodles shouldn't be touching. Whoa, what a start for take. Wow. Homophobe. Homophobe. All right, homophobe. Doodles yeah, doodles shouldn't be touching. Oh, okay. Doodles shouldn't be touching. Whoa, what a start for take. Wow. Homophobe. Homophobe. All right, homophobe. I just, if you'd let me finish, I'd say the gym floor. Right, yeah.

All right, all right. Can you do 11 full push-ups? 72% of people said no. Wow, okay. I think as well, like, women, it's like the same with pull-ups. Women, we're built differently. Yeah. We don't have that strength.

When men have muscles, women have excuses. So. Holy. Did you hear that? Wow. Warren finally cancelled. I would love to see hip thrust, how much I can hip thrust. I was watching Hayley hip thrust.

I wondered about the hip thrust yesterday at the gym. It's insane. Because I saw a man on the hip thrust machine at the gym, and I've got to say, cracked me right up seeing a dude humping the air like that. Yeah, it's all about the peach. Yeah. But no, yeah, like upper body, it's a few. You've got beautiful breasts instead.

Wonderful. Wonderful breasts. I'm not going to say wonderful breasts. That seems inappropriate. In the workplace. So what, they're bad breasts is what you're saying? Shocking. Shocking.

Shocking. Can you do 11 full push-ups? 72% no, 28% yes. Sarah said, I won't lie, she's rough though. 10 and 11 would be tough going, but I reckon I could get them up. I like to think yesterday when people saw this, it started a challenge and people were like, okay, do them. I'm going to give it a go.

I'm going to give it a go. How many? How many? I would accept the knee push-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From women. From women. Or men. Often drip accept the knee push-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From women. From women. Or men. Often drip to the knee. Look, that's embarrassing if dudes are doing knee push-ups. No, it's not.

Just do less of the long ones. Do less of the long ones. It's a good way to start if you're doing a class and there's lots of push-ups. Oh, I'm always on my knees. Just get on your knees and then progress as you get better. That's right. Moana said, I get mistaken as a cutesy hee hee girl and then bam, want to bet I can do

10 pushups and that might be why I'm still single. Oh. No. To, what's the word? Intimidating.

Intimidating. Yeah, no way. You're stuck to your guns. It's hot stuff. Sonia said, I'm over 38 weeks pregnant and I can't even pick up

a piece of chocolate. I have to get someone to get it for me. Oh, sweetie. Sweetie home. That way your belly would touch the floor first. You'd hope. It'd actually be easier to do push-ups.

You'd just go, stop at the belly. Little ones. Yeah. I just did 12 a couple of days ago, and the chest doms were real, though, said Kendall. Okay. When you haven't done them for a while and you do the armpits, you're like, oh. And the arms. I clicked no, but then I tried it and did it. And I don't even know my own strength, said Kendall. Okay. When you haven't done them for a while and you do the armpits, you're like, oh. In the arms. I clicked no, but then I tried it and did it.

And I don't even know my own strength, said Ken. Yeah, Ken, don't you doubt yourself, brother. I've been working out for a good few years now. Lots of cardio and strength training. I can do 16 push-ups. Nice. It's nice to begin to feel strong. That's Amanda.

Amanda. Yes. She never gave up. Good stuff. Hayley says, like consecutively or over a long period of years? One a year. One a year.

She did that thing where you press ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha so much Gs start making their way in. Oh, my God. I love that. That's always how I imagine that laugh going. Rose said, I mean, I haven't tried, but I feel faintly confident in answering no. Get it, Rose. Rose, get out there and do it.

And Stephanie said, I'm weak AF, but also CBF. Yeah. Yeah, CBF, man. Put your feet up. CBF, that's a little poem. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Oh! Okay.

It's my turn. I've been told. I'm mum at Christmas. No, no, no, no. No, I can't do anything right. I mean, you know, what would mum know? What would mum know? It's how we've always said it, Vaughn.

Dare I say anything? It's how we've always said it. Vaughn's going to rip my head off. Can't say anything. We've always called it wangamata. Yeah. What, do you want us to change now? We're in our late 60s.

Wangaray, fangaray, I don't know. Yeah, I don't bloody know, do I? I can't say anything right so I won't say anything at all. I just don't think that a woman her size should wear those shorts but I can't say anything, can I?

Can't say anything. No, I'll just go and cook. I'll cook the chicken, shall I? Yeah, don't worry. I'll go and take care of it. Vaughan won't like it though because it's too dry for him. Chicken's a bit dry.

Yeah. Oh, you kids. Oh, Vaughan will have to cook the steak because apparently we overcook it. Oh, yeah. Or whatever you call it now, steak-y. I don't know. Can't say anything.

We're all looking forward to family Christmas. What are you and your... I mean, we're nine months out, but sure. What do you and your greenie mates call it now? I suppose they don't even eat steak. I don't know. Cows are evil, are they? Oh, are they?

Cows are communists. Well, news to me. I can't keep up with all of you kids. What are your pronouns, eh? What kind of pronouns? Do you have any pronouns? What are my pronouns? How many of them are there?

I don't know. All right. So, it's a nice family role play there. God, it was and sing. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. It was a lot of fun.

Sometimes it feels like... I love my mother perhaps more than anybody. Beautiful. Beautiful. Sometimes it feels like... I love my mother perhaps more than anybody. Yeah. Sometimes it feels like you're dragging us into some drama school role plays. Yeah, and I really like it. I'm like, there we go. I like it. So chat GPT, I used chat GPT last night with my daughter.

We were doing her homework. So you're cheating and teaching her to cheat, basically. Well, you told me this on the drive in. Yeah. And I was like, this is a really smart use of it. You know, I hate ChatGPT. Because she'll say, this is what we're learning about. And I'm like, do you understand it?

And she's like, not all of it. It's happening so fast and we just wrote it all down. Don't you remember that feeling at school? Yes. You're just like, I'm not taking any of this in. I hope some of it sticks because I'm going to have to write a whole page about this soon. So I was like, ask ChatGPT the most important parts of it and like what bullet points and also say, hey, ChatGPT, can you put this into words that a 13-year-old who's new to this subject would understand?

Holy moly, it changed it all. And he's like, I get it. I get it now. I understand it. I understand what it means and da-da-da. And I was just like, perfect. Like, what a great tool. Yeah.

And then I was like, okay, now let's cheat. And I was like, this isn't what you do. But it's like, write me an essay on... Why did you do this? No, no, no, she already knows about this. This isn't what we do. She already knows about this. But then I said, you're going'd get in trouble for doing that,

and they'll know. That's not how you use it. I was like, and like, read this thing. I was like, it sounds like a robot wrote it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But when you ask it to teach you to do something, like another thing is how to structure a paragraph now. We used to call it sex.

Yeah. Statement, explanation, example. Yeah. Right? But now they call it PEEL. Point, explanation, example, link. And? But now they call it PEEL, point, explanation, example, link. And you've got to basically link it back to the start of this thing. And she was like, I'm not 100% sure how to do it.

I was like, ask ChatGPT. ChatGPT said, this is what it means and this is an example of it. And I said, now ask it to do an example of what you asked it before with the bullet points. You're just literally teaching her to cheat. I'm not. I'm teaching her how to learn. Because she's not going to be able to use it at school.

I was like, don't ask it to do your work for you, but if it gives an example and then you can read it and then you're like, okay, now I've seen it through and I understand the working structure of it. Well, if you believe that she'll... Never use it. Never use it to cheat. She's still young, Vaughan.

She's young and innocent. And trusts her father, you know, and to tell him everything. I trust her. Also, like, everyone else is doing this. Yeah, totally. But I was like, you've got to learn how to use it as a tool rather than getting it to do your work for you.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. It has a place. It has a place and a time. And so this girlie online has found a new way to use ChatGPT and it rules because otherwise she'd be paying probably $250 an hour, maybe or not, including or excluding GST, to go to a therapist. Why does it matter about the GST in the story?

I'm just saying it's not personally claimable. And it catches me off guard. It's the start of the financial year. I've just done my GST. Let's just put it in all the prices. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Because when someone says to me $250 Let's just put it in all the prices. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Because when someone says to me $250,

I'm prepared to part with $250. When there's a plus. Chuck over 15% on top. You've thrown me. Yeah. You know, we're talking $40. Yeah. You've completely thrown me.

But now we're knocking on $300, you know what I'm saying? And I'm not going to be able to claim that back. Anyway, she talks to ChatGPT as her therapist. If you know you don't want a relationship why get into a talking stage you're right if you really wanted something be showing more effort instead of just talking in circles he's just an idiot let's just call it what it is he's an idiot he's an idiot

exactly that's the part that's confusing he already knows he doesn't want a relationship why even start talking in the first place? Okay, I'm sorry. Having been to therapy, your therapist is never going to come and be like, you're right. He is an idiot. Yeah. Your therapist is not there to enable what you say as being true. Well, I know, but that annoys me

because you're paying them so much money. Yeah, they should be on your side. You need to be on my team! If I'm paying someone hundreds of dollars, if they're not on my side. You're not on your team. Yeah, I'll just find a new one. That's not good.

I'll just keep shopping around for a therapist until one that agrees with me. It feels toxic. It feels toxic. Okay. If anyone in this room needs therapy, this toxic guy. Why do I need therapy?

Is it because I don't hug enough? You don't hug enough. Okay. How's that in 2025? He's too happy. This toxic guy. Toxic but happy. Why do I need therapy? Is it because I don't hug enough? You don't hug enough. Okay. How's that in 2025? He's too happy I think he needs therapy. Yeah. He's stress free. He's stress free.

He's too happy. He's in the best shape of his life and he's fulfilling all of his dreams and goals. Something's wrong with him. Something's got to be wrong up here. Something's wrong up here. The dude needs some therapy. Oh my God.

So some messages in just right now. Chat GPT helped me get sober and. We need some therapy. Something's wrong up here. The dude needs some therapy. Right. Oh my God. So, some messages in just right now. Chat GPT helped me get sober and I used it for therapy. Wow. So, going in and being like, hey, I need help with this addiction or whatever. I mean, that clip that we played is probably. You could totally ask him to tone it down. Yeah. Because you'd be more neutral.

Like, can you take this from a neutral standpoint? Don't just agree with everything I say. And she's probably asked it to, you know, say that. I want to have a vent about my boyfriend or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's a woman. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

Who said that? I didn't say a single thing. What a mystery voice. I think it sounded a lot like you. Did it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But what a great idea. Because people don't have the money for therapy. It's expensive. It's very expensive. Because we've talked about that with, like with training programs and stuff at the gym. People go, hey, I want to lose X amount of weight or whatever. Of course you could do it for a sobriety journey or a journey to happiness or whatever.

There's something to be said about handing over the planning of your life to artificial intelligence. But a mate of mine just like, I need easy, quick meals that can have a vegetarian option. So obviously the meat gets added later. Man, I've got a vegetarian wife. I've got two children. We work these hours. It needs to be simple. He married a vegetarian.

Amazing. You would not believe it. Oh, screwed up there, eh? Why did Carl just pull the fingers at us? Oh, she's a vegetarian too. But he planned everything. Yeah, totally. And it was like seasonally, because you knew where he lives, seasonally these are going to be the better options because it's going to be cheaper and we'll work to a budget.

And it's just like, yeah, it's amazing. It is amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. And if you want some cheap therapy, I'm sure there's an asterisk that goes along with it though. Give it a go.

When the AI gets put in those Boston Dynamic Robots, Some cheap therapy. I'm sure there's an asterisk that goes along with it, though. Give it a go. When the AI gets put in those Boston Dynamic Robots, it's going to know exactly how to physically hurt you and emotionally. And emotionally. It's going to be like, hey, fatty. Remember that time your parents abandoned you? Your father didn't tell you. He loved you.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So yesterday I did a gym workout. Fletch was there. He was being silly buggers actually. Came up to me at one point, poked his tongue out and thrust his hips at me. Now that's inappropriate actually. It was really inappropriate. I have been meaning to have a word to him about that. But it was hot.

It was the dudes rocking. Because his legs were out. Yeah, his legs were out. Legs were out. A little bit of waggle in them gym pants too. A little bit of room in there. Yeah. A little bit of schwaggle. Schwaggle, schwaggle.

He's got a schwaggle. It swings, it sways. We call it a schwaggle because it's got swagger. I hate this. We call it a schwaggle. Please let me finish. We call Fletcher's penis a schwaggle because it sways, it's got swagger,

and it looks like a fraggle. Yeah, it looks like a fraggle. Carry on. So after the gym, I realised I wasn't going to have time to go home to shower before I went on Seven Days Tonight. It's the first episode of the season. Season 17. Wow.

Taped last night? Yep, taped last night. So what time is it on Televisian 3? Is it 7.30? Well, how many times did you say the F word? Lots or were you told to pull back? I personally only did 10. No, I think it's 7.30.

Heavy edit. 7.30. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Literally the producer to Sex Man. Anyway, so. Well, is it 7.30? No, he was talking about.

Something else. A new album that we were talking about. I will say no relevance to one ear. Fortuitous. No relevance to this conversation. No, not at all. Jesus Christ. I know.

7.30, I think. It's usually 7.30. It's 7.30. 7.30 on three. Yeah, I mean, this isn't a parade. He'll be in bed. I'll be in bed. He'll be just getting up.

He will be half an hour into his sleep. Yeah, yeah. The schwaggle will be resting. The schwaggle will be, you know, eight and a half hours. The schwaggle will be resting. It drains a lot of his energy. He sleeps naked, so the schwaggle's just resting on his hot legs at this stage.

Carry on, please. So I realise I'm not going to be able to go home. He's over here trying to build up a king, you know. I know. I'm not going to be able to go home and shower before I need to get to studio for seven days. Tonight on three at 7.30. We presume. We presume. So I was like, I'm going to have to shower at the gym, get to studio for seven days. Tonight on three at 7.30. We presume.

So I was like, I'm going to have to shower at the gym, which I don't love doing. And I don't have a towel. I've done this before. I'll just kind of shake off a little bit and I'll put on my undies and my wet body and kind of like move around until it's dry. Like it's fine. Wait, do you use your gym towel? And I use my sweat towel to like absorb

some of the hair, water and the body water. Maybe grab some paper towels. Yeah, get a hair dryer on her and all that kind of stuff. But, so I'm in the shower. I go to the showers and I've got a real problem with this. In the women's bit, there's cubicles and I'd say

there's 10 showers in there. Oh no, no, there's 12 showers in there. Six each side. We're at the corridor down the middle. I jump into third from the left, right? Let's say that. Third in, I get in there. No one else is in the showers whatsoever, right? There's no one else in the shower area.

I'm showering. Nick Minna. No, don't do that. Nick Minna. I've always found it funny. It's still really funny to me. Okay. You do do it more than anyone i know and you're supposed

to be a respected comedian i did it dude i did it ironically years ago and i've never been able to shake it okay i hate when you start doing things ironically but it becomes part of the vocab like listening to creed like saying babes like babes babes was totally we're all being ironic and then it's just babes yeah part of it, babes, I'm in there in the shower. A neck minute. A neck minute. Yeah. The cubicle next to me. There's 12 available.

I think it's pronounced neck to me. Neck to me. The cubicle neck to me opens and someone gets in. And I was like, why the hell with all of these showers available, would you jump in next to me? Like, get a grip, woman. So, I was like, far out. No,

do you know what I reckon it is? I reckon there's, no, I reckon there's some favourite shower nozzles. Hundie. You reckon? Hundie. Because I'm used to,

in the gym, I don't shower a lot, but when I have, there's definitely some showers that have a better nozzle. Preferred nozzle. And if you go every day, I reckon you would have a favourite cubicle or two.

I just, yeah, he's dead right. Well, because get this right, Nick Minner, she's on my left. How many minutes? We're down now. Three minutes in. Nick Minner, 12 cubicles, she's on my left. I'm in there. I'm thinking outrageous behaviour from her. Yeah. To my right, Nick cubicle, another woman

comes in. And no one is on any other shower. No one is on any other shower. No one is on any other shower. There's a whole other side. There's a whole other side. I'm being flanked by these women. I was like, the hell is this shit? So I was like, oh my God, I'm over this. I'm surrounded by these women.

And I'm quite tall, so my head is like poking over. I can see hair. I was like, yuck. Ew, you've ruined it. I turn off my shower, and then I've got my little sweat towel because I don't have my real towel and I'm shimmering off my body like this. We are so close that as I'm getting dry,

the splash from their showers is coming into my cubicle and re-wetting me. Explain to me the wall setup in these cubicles. So there's like hollow bit under the feet. So the feet are all dry. I can see their feet. Like it's a foot off the ground. Foot off the ground.

And then the top level would be just above my eyeline. So my head would pop a little bit. Like five foot six or eight. So I'm getting spray back from these women because they've flanked me in the shower zone. And so I'm drying my feet. Their splash is getting on me. And I was like, ugh.

Then I look down, right? And I look down like this, on the ground to be like, ooh, their splashback is wetting my feet. I know what's coming. I hope it is so much. The water has created a mirror effect. And I

can see up their showers. That's not what I was thinking. I thought someone was weeing. I thought you were going to look down and it was going to be yellow water. No, dude. I, the floor is dark in there. Skid of a little vagina. I can see two vaginas

flanking me. Flanking my vagina. That's a trifange. There's a trifange happening. You're in the middle of a trifange. You're a crucial member. You're the middle part of a trifange. You're a crucial member. You're the middle part of a trifange. I'm happy to be, but I was like... The legendary trifange. I'm looking down and I see...

The mythical trifange. Some people would be happy to be in the middle of a trifange. Not on this day. I look down and I'm like, I can see up you, and I can see up you. Why do you keep looking? April 2nd, 2025, the triphage formed. I can see her on my right shampooing her hair and I see her looking down.

So I was like, now she's looking at my vagina. Do you reckon she can see you looking down at? Absolutely. We're all aware. Does she wink? In the middle of these 12 cubicles. I said, did she wink, not did it wink? That we're in a triphage. Yeah, did it not did it wink. That we're in a trifage.

Yeah, did it wink? Nothing winked. You're in a trifange. So what did you just get out of there? I mean, women live their entire lives hoping to be in a trifange, and you're poo-pooing it. I was poo-pooing it, which is actually really out of character for me.

It's so wildly out of character for you. That's why when you had that air of disgust, I thought you were going to look down and see wee-wees on the floor. No wee-wees, nothing. I have been in a shower cubicles and see wee-wees on the floor. No wee-wees? Nothing. I have been in a shower cubicles and seen the drain yellow wee's go past. Unacceptable.

I told you about Campground recently in a shower where the communal drain a little nug rolled through. That's so grim, eh? Look, it wasn't that bad. I didn't have nugs or yellow streams. I had splashback and I had trifage and it was just quite a lot. Spread out.

Yeah, there were other cubicles. There was enough room for us all to have. Maybe that's why they didn't spread out. Why don't they go top to bottom wall as well? That's weird. I don't know. Air flow or something. Yeah, I don't know.

Or so they can look up other people's vagina. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. April 3rd today. Yeah. April Ameri- What? April 2nd in America.

April and America. There you go. April 2nd in America, and that is the release date for Love on the Spectrum Season 3. Also the date that they're going to tariff the whole world. I know. So get ready for that today, New Zealand. No, thank you. What was it? Our wine?

Who knows? We don't know yet. It might be semi-good news for us. Why? Because it means that not as much wine will go to the States. So we'll drink our wine here, darling. More wine, darling. Are you saying there's more wine? There's more wine and we simply must support the economy, darling. Oh my God, it It is my moral duty.

Let me assist the Pinot Noir economy. Right now. Chin, chin. Chin, chin. Chiaos to you. Yeah. Okay, so we've all got to do our part. Okay.

Love on the Spectrum season three is out. Oh, my God. This show. Fletch, you haven't watched the whole show, but you've seen some clips. Yeah, show me clips. I'm like, that would be touching to watch, but. What a load of bullshit. No one believes it. Yes, yes. you've seen some clips. Yeah, show me clips. I'm like, that would be touching to watch, but... What a load of bullshit.

No one believed that. Yes, yes, you showed me clips, and that would be touching to watch. You know it's not my... I don't watch reality TV. I don't watch reality TV. This is more than reality TV. It is a demonstration of the decency of humanity and the best of us.

Like, it is... You know, I genuinely thought when it first came out, I was like, what are we doing here? It feels a bit like, you know, in a zoo. Like, is it right to be watching this? It's like, no. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's a beautiful. No. That's the word I'm after. It's not. So much reality TV. What I don't like about it is you're exploiting basic human emotions for entertainment. Yeah.

Which I find yuck. Because most of the people on these shows just want fame. Yes. And so they will do anything and say anything. The people on this show want nothing but love. How would you describe your ideal partner? Oh, I'm not sure if we have that much time. A girl who's very talkative like me and a girl who eats nicely.

Has a very nice giggle and smile. Witty, charming. I got a weakness for brunettes. Someone who is able to have a back and forth conversation. Polite, respectful, friendly. I mean, there's like eight billion people in the world. Somebody's gotta be the one for me. Oh my God, I just love them so world. Somebody's got to be the one for me. Oh, my God.

I just love them so much. It's got you going already. So season one, we met some potential lovers. Yeah. And then season two, we met new ones, but some returning. And season three, a lot of returning lovers. The best part about it is... You crying?

Almost. The best part about it is the... You crying? Almost. The best part about it is the couple that stayed together. It's not just like that done and our story is done with Abby. And who was Abby with? David. Oh my god. They're going to continue to see. When are you going to watch this? Are you in a good

state to watch this? I'm in a place to cry and I could lean in. I might this weekend etch out a little cry time. Right. I don't know when that's going to be. Maybe Sunday after our Saturday

cry time. Our anniversary lunch. Our anniversary lunch, yeah. Our blowout. A little bit of hangover volneys on a Sunday. Get on the couch and watch Love on the Spectrum.

A Subway footlong meatball. Cheese. Yeah, toast it with cheese. And like a fistful of Subway footlong cheese. Do you want to have a vulnerable cry together? Okay. Yeah, let's do it. McQueen, put it in the calendar.

Well, our new series out today, Love on the Spectrum. Netflix. It's so, so good. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. We want to ask now if there is one topic that you could talk and talk and talk and talk about for 24 hours nonstop, what would it be? Do you know some people, the answer would be themselves. Oh, yeah, I could do that. You wouldn't run out of content?

See, I was just kind of chucking a bit of bait there. Yeah. She could totally talk about herself for 24 hours, but I can't say it. 100%. But some people could talk about themselves for 24 hours. Do you know what is a good day for me is when I get an email in my inbox and someone's like, hey, someone wants to interview for a podcast.

It's going to take an hour. I'm like, open up, baby. I'm free. I'm free. I'll give them three hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, they're trying to end the podcast. Thanks for your time.

And you're like, let me tell you about primary school. So growing up, it was an interesting thing for me at primary school because I was a unique kid, you know. Now, the reason we ask this is because in America yesterday, a politician finished a 24-hour filibuster. 25. 25. I think by the end of it.

Filibuster. So they do this thing called the filibuster where if they talk long enough, things can get held up. They take advantage of the Senate's rules that allow for unlimited debate or speaking by a senator unless there have been special limits put in place. And there wasn't. And he wasn't trying to hold up any specific vote on anything that would expire. It was described as an act of political theatre as an overall protest against the Trump administration and everything.

Right. Because when this has happened in the past and they all do it, they wear nappies and stuff. They wear like adult diapers. Jeepers. They can't leave the... You're not allowed to leave the Senate where they do their speaking. So you're just talking and pissing yourselves. Yeah, and so he was...

Oh, that's so off. What did he just spend 25 hours just talking about Donald Trump and how much he... He just had a massive folder. And was just reading out of it and all these prepared points. This is crazy. Someone's messaged in, you should meet my mate Damien. He can talk about mirrors for quite a while.

Appreciate that. Good, good from you. Good from you. But maybe, maybe, and we thought we'd open up the phone lines now. 0800 dials at M, text in 9696. If there was a topic that you could speak for for 24 hours, what would it be? Mine would be marching The moment anyone's like, tell me about marching

I'm like, oh yeah, here we go Well maybe this is a chance for you to show off your Weird little hobby Quite interesting texts coming in already Okay I mean someone messaged straight up I could talk about Taylor Swift forever And if you're a Swifty

I mean we've seen this Maybe you can relive your days as a One Direction fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just spend 24 hours obsessing. Because the interesting thing about Joe

as opposed to Kevin is, and you're like, okay, here she goes. Okay, 0800DONALDZ at M. Give us a call. You can text her at 9696. What could you talk about for 24 hours straight?

We want to know what is the topic you could talk about for 24 hours straight? Because there was a, I don't know, I've never heard of these before. Filibusters. Filibuster. Yeah, generally it's to stop something happening if they've got so much time to vote on something and it expires, it gets them a chance to reset in American politics. But Cory Booker is a politician. He spoke for 25 hours nonstop.

About Donald Trump. Yeah. What we should have also called this is what is your autism? What's your special interest? What's your autism interest? Because lots of people are like, I always wondered why I was obsessed with topics

and could talk about them for hours and then my diagnosis came. Yeah. Jackie, what could you talk about for 24 hours nonstop? I could talk about women's professional road cycling. Oh, okay. So specific.

A big Sarah Ulmer fan here. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's, yeah, all day, every day. Wow. Are you a cyclist yourself? A cyclist and a weekend warrior. A weekend warrior, yeah, but not

fresh. But you're just obsessed with it. Absolutely obsessed. I get up in the middle of the night to watch it because it's on Europe. Oh, really? Who's the best in the world at the moment for female road cycling? Oh, it would either be Demi Vollering or Lorraine Weavers.

Oh, I was going to say Weavers. Lotta Capecchi. Yeah, Lotta Cape the Weavers. A lot of Capecki. Yeah, a lot of Capecki. Interesting season. I think Capecki's not having the season that she was hoping for, though. Yeah, completely interesting, Capecki. Yeah, interesting. Because what do you think about her wheels, Jackie?

Because for me, Capecki's wheels are not as... They're very round. Very round. I thought they were round. Oh, they definitely are round, yeah. But we've got some amazing women professional cyclists, too. Yeah. Who's your top three New Zealand ones?

We've got Kim Kadzo, she's our national champ. National champ. We've got Henrietta Christie. Yeah. Who else have we got? We've got Michaela Harvey. Yeah, I've had my eye on Michaela Harvey's career for a while and I think I will continue to follow her.

Not as interesting for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, I'm a Capecki. You're team Capecki. You're an Advante brand. Oh, yeah. Do you have a favourite brand, Jackie? I do.

What's your favourite? Cannondale. I have a Cannondale. Fletcher's got a Cannondale. I have a Cannondale. Do you, actually? Okay, that's not a joke. And it's black and it's got two wheels

and I've got a little ding bell on it. I put that on myself. Change, change, change. How embarrassing that Fletch is trying to talk to you and he says, I've got a bike, it's black, it's got two wheels and a bell. At least it works. Yeah, at least it works.

Thank you, thank you. Shout out, Cannondale. Thanks, Jackie. That's interesting for Pecky's season. What could you talk about for 24 hours non-stop? Oh my gosh. Thank you. Shout out, Canada. Thanks, Jackie. It's interesting to pick his season anyway. What could you talk about for 24 hours nonstop? Oh, my gosh. First of all, I'm a long-term listener, first-time caller.

So I can be here. Yeah. Welcome, welcome, welcome. So I'm a teacher. So obviously teaching and education all day, every day. Yeah. You know, it's good when you meet a teacher that does enjoy talking about teaching. You're like, oh, you're one of the people that's in it for the right reasons. For the day. Yeah. You know, it's good when you meet a teacher that does enjoy talking about teaching. You're like, oh, you're one of the people

that's in it for the right reasons. For the passion. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, shit, where's your friend? Nah, just kidding. It's like nursing and teaching, right? Passion industries. Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. What do you think is, what's the best part about teaching? Yeah. Oh, the kids, 100%. Like, if you can make a difference with one, you've done your job. Oh, my God.

Sasha. What's your favourite arm prime number? Seven. Don't talk to me about maths. I'm a music teacher. Oh, my God. Who's your favourite composer? Avril Lavigne.

Hayley Sproul. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I just love her parody Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I just love her parody. She's fantastic. Thank you. I know. That'd be right up your alley, Ashley.

I think she's coming to the International Comedy Festival. Don't make it about Hayley. Don't make it about Hayley. I love that, Sasha. Sasha, caller of the week. Sasha, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. So many amazing text messages.

I know. Also, how come there's such a passionate teacher in Sasha? Yeah. What was that quiz show where you'd do your specialty? Oh. Mastermind? Yeah.

And you'd do general knowledge and then you'd be like, my specialty is, and then they would just go to town and quiz you. Yeah, the Elizabethan period and off they went.

Yeah, that was good stuff. Brenda messaged in, also work in a passion profession. My subject would be social working. I could talk for 25 hours easy and if I'm with like-minded people, I'm just super excited about helping the unfortunate the entire time. Oh my

God. Amazing. That's so good. That's so good. Got a plunket nurse here. I could talk about child development and pirating for 24 hours straight. You alright? I just fell over the bell when we were on the first time call as my hand was like, whoa! I could talk about true crime for days and discuss my own personal

theories as I'm a detective and I've solved them way better than actual investigators. Yep. I could talk about Avatar, the blue people with the movies. For 24 hours? Okay. Yeah, which I think is about the average length of a movie. About the

avatars. Which I know their name's not the Avatar. What are they? The Na'vi. Feminism. I could give that a good hot 24 hours, I reckon. New Zealand Cadet Forces. New Zealand's best kept secret for youth organisation that's been going for 161 years. I'll give that a 25 hour crack.

I could talk for 25 hours and tell you all of the best stories from when I was a contiki bus guide in the 1990s. The heyday. Wow, there would be some incredible stories.

I could talk for 24 hours about incubating chicken eggs. Okay, how did we go from Contiki tours to incubating chicken eggs? Someone said they could talk 24 hours about cemeteries, crematoriums, funerals and all things death. That would be very interesting. Would it? I'd like to talk to them about that. Would it?

Yeah. Michaela, good morning. What could you talk to us for 24 hours on? King Henry VIII. King Henry VIII. Why VIII, not the V? He's actually a very interesting person. He was the one that had the six wives.

Did he behead them all? No, he only beheaded two. Well, I stand corrected. Okay, so he's not as bad as you thought, Vaughan. No. He was actually a kind of good guy. Great guy. Why did he behead them?

Is that just how it was done back in the day? He was like, I'm done with this one. She's a bit mouthy. So the first one, he beheaded because he couldn't divorce her. Okay. And the second one, he beheaded because

he believed that she cheated on him. Right. Of course, she deserved that, didn't she? What's your favourite? Was he a fatty?

He was a fatty. You see like paintings and stuff of him. He was a big fat lad, Big jolly guy, eh? Yes, he was. So that actually came into play because when he was in his 20s, he was in a jousting accident and he hurt his leg.

And this man loved his cake. An excuse, is it? Yeah. Can't go to the gyms. Yeah, exactly. This man loved his cake, his bread, his pastries, all of that kind of stuff. Okay. What's your favourite King Henry VIII fact?

Um, probably that. Do you like Six? Someone just messaged in, have you seen Six the musical? I haven't, and I really want to. It's about the wives. It's about your people. Yeah, this is your musical. Actually, it's

about his wives. Right. How did this start, this obsession with King Henry VIII? Social studies. Okay. Wow. So what do you do for a job now? I work in insurance. And you sit on all this King Henry VIII knowledge.

There's so much. There's so much. That's incredible, Michaela. Michaela, you are a fascinating individual. Completely. I love that. Did you hear the excitement in her voice? She's still excited. So much. That's incredible, Michaela. Michaela, you are a fascinating individual. Completely. I love that. Did you hear the excitement in her voice?

She's still excited. After all these years of social studies. Look at her talk. You could talk. For 24 hours on King Henry VIII. I love it. I'd listen too. Michaela, thank you.

Some messages in to finish quickly. Nuclear apocalypse and my theories on where they'll hit, why they'll hit them. I'm pretty sure the doomsday clock is the closest it's ever been. Yeah, I reckon we just hang in there and we'll probably see if you're right. Jack the Ripper conspiracy theories. Ooh, okay. For 25 hours easy.

Like a trauma dump for 24 hours, someone said. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Producer Girlies, apparently in our little run sheet here, it says Producer Girlies have a bone to pick. We did not notice this in the sheet. No. Until just this moment.

You really snuck one past you. Apparently there's a problem. You have, I've shut my laptop, I've put my phone down, you have my full and undivided attention. Well, it may be a couple days late, but I've pranked you. No one's in trouble. We've got good news.

What? Shannon? Sorry, Shannon. Shannon is your hype girl. Can you give us your hype horn again? Not bad. Yeah, it's good.

It's like off the, like, Carwin's Delivery. Might be a couple of days late, but I've got you pranked. Okay, why have we been pranked? So, you may or may not know this about me, but I love planning. I love planning our show. I love planning our interviews. I also love planning a party and do you know what it is on saturday

oh there's silence this is not good yeah i know yeah i know it's fletch and vaughn's 21st anniversary which is wild for a couple of 28-year-olds. But anyway. Crazy. It started at seven. Just a couple of beautiful baby boys. We had a little baby podcast.

We were talking about Ninja Turtles. Yeah, it was so weird that they gave a network radio show to seven-year-olds. But we had it. It's cute. Undeniable X Factor. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. And so as the two members of the show that are closest to 21, aside from Hayley, obviously. Thank you. Because I'm only 24. So I technically would be the closest. That's okay. Sorry, I forgot.

We are going to throw you an on-air 21st. Pow, pow, pow, pow. If I'm doing a Yardie, it's going to have to be Raro. No, we're not going to put you through a 21st. But. We drink responsibly on this show. Yeah. That's why.

That's why I said Raro. Yeah, exactly. With the sugar content in that. But we do have some fun things planned. They're going to be secrets. But also one of the ones that I can share with you right now. Okay. What's the best part of a party?

Leaving. Food. Drinks. Going home. Food. Irish exits. Okay. What's the best part of a party? Leaving. Food. Drinks. Food. Irish exits. All of those things, but also party favours. Not those ones. So, we are gonna

have... Party favours. Not those ones. Hayley, not those ones. We're gonna have 21 prizes to give away to 21 listeners who get on air

tomorrow morning. Oh my God. Party famous little goodie bags. I love that. I love that. Okay, well I'm imagining like cars, jewellery.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oprah level. Oprah level prizes. Worldwide tours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll pay off your student loan. That kind of stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah, Hayley's been very generous with the credit card. Hey, hang on. We didn't discuss this. Now, can I ask a question? Because this isn't, you know, obviously we're on radio here, but one of my favourite things about my 21st was deciding what I was going to wear.

Yes. There is a dress code for this 21st, and I'm looking at you both in the eyes. I don't have a shirt. I don't have, I. I don't have... I've only got T-shirts and shorts. You're a liar. I know that you've got a nice linen shirt. I've seen you both at weddings.

And you must wear town shoes. Town shoes are a must. I'm not wearing town shoes. You have to wear town shoes. I don't have town shoes. I don't wear town shoes. I'm not allowed to wear... I've just posted the invite on Instagram,

so you have to come. There's an invite. I just saw the invite. Fletch and Vaughn's 21st anniversary, 6 till 9am, live on ZM on the 4th of April. I will say, I'm making lolly cake.

So go get your town shoes. Okay, I'll wear my town shoes then. I'll wear town shoes. Town shoes. So are we going like full 21st fashion? Because that's different to how I'd get dressed up now. Because at my 21st, I think I wore a short-sleeved purple shirt. Perfect.

I know. I didn't really know what I wanted. I wore a black dress that had straps and I went to Spotlight and I bought a trim that had feathers all on it and I sewed it to the shoulders so I had these like bird shoulders. Stunned. And I had a blunt fringe. I'll cut it tonight.

Oh my gosh, beautiful. I think you have to wear that again. Fletch, did you have a 21st? No. Oh. Yeah. Because he grew up Jehovah's Witness. Yeah.

Poor Jehovah's Witness. I know, that's a double blow, right? But I escaped the church and I made up for it. And now he's rich. Boy, did he make up for it. Oh my God, 21st birthday tomorrow.

exciting news tomorrow. Join us. ...talented Dua Lipa is in New Zealand. I saw darling, she was on Waheke. A darling. Drinking wine on Waheke.

Do you think she took the ferry or... How many did I? Welly Wopter. Welly Wopter. Yeah. For sure. So it was her first show last night,

and Pixie from The Office went, and she's in studio with us this morning. Hello, hello. Pixie, why are you in The Office this morning? You don't have to be here this early. Pixie's always here this early. I know she is. Why do you do that?

I like to come and listen to you guys. Oh, Pixie. Aww. So you went to Dually for last night. Life altering, yes. Life altering. Life altering. Really?

That good? She was just incredible. She's like a godlike figure up on stage. Iting, yes. Life altering. Really that good? She was just incredible. She's like a godlike figure up on stage. I totally understand that. The hair, the bod, the voice. She's the full package.

Every show she'll do, like in Australia she had Troye Sivan up and they did a Troye Sivan song. She was doing Australian songs. Yeah, she does like a song from the country, like from an artist from the country, yeah. So last night she did this for New Zealand. She sure did, yeah.

Lord. It's gotta be Lord, right? Yep, Royals, okay. I would have gone... Singing New Zealand! How was her banter? Not... I don't know. Like, she tried and I...

I give her that. I give her that. But it's not her brand. Like, she should just stick to the dancing. Singing and the dancing. Stick to the looking sexy, yeah. So the dancing's on point? The dancing's pretty good?

Oh, the dancing is on point. It's like 50-50, a singing show and a dancing. So the dancing's on point? Oh, the dancing is on point. It's like 50-50, a singing show and a dancing show. Okay, so you're going Friday, but you're going to have to work on that not staring too much thing. What are you talking about? Show us your eyes. What if she stops the show? Show us how you watch her.

No, close the mouth. So you're worried my staring's going to be so much, she's going to be like, stop, stop, stop, stop. Can I get that guy removed, please? Yeah, I'm sorry, Auckland. There's a pest in the crowd. He's really putting me off. He's having a real hard gawk.

Oh, my God. I love, Pixie, that you thought this was life-alteringly good. Yeah, if you've got tickets on Friday, then I'm jealous. Where did you sit? Because I'm just seeing where I'm sat. I was mosh pit. I mean, how embarrassing. This is a young woman born.

They don't sit. We don't sit down, darling. No. No, they get their head into the pit. What do you do with your sore knees? Oh, my back is a little bit sore. I'm not going to lie. My back's a little bit sore.

It's all fun and games laughing at the old guy until someone young's sore. Yeah, yeah, true. Well, this is it, right? Friday is her last show in New Zealand. Finale, yeah. And that's the last of the tour. Yes, yeah. Is it?

Oh, we're going to do it. She's added new dates in some countries, I think, but last of, like, what was planned. Okay. Amazing. Okay, well, if you're heading on Friday, yeah, amazing. Yeah, so good. From all accounts.

Da-da-da-bee-da-da. She should do that tonight. Maybe she'll do Dave Dobbin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, shit accounts da da she should do that tonight maybe she'll do Dave Dobbin yeah yeah yeah not tonight tomorrow Friday yeah

Friday yeah yeah she's got a day off she's back to Wahecker to taste the delicious Manowar Wands it's raining though but she's got the

wellycopter she's got the wellywopter I reckon she'll do laser tag today yeah with the rain the way it is

come to the most beautiful country in the world and do laser tag. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

21 years together. Did you see that look he just gave me? Yeah. Filthy. Do it properly. And change up the fact of the day song so that when people are like, well, do you do that live

or does it a recorded one every day? Well, we do it live and then it shows that that's a fact because- Just have some professionalism. Don't cause a rift, you know, because my career kind of also hangs on you guys still being friends, you know,

and I'm going to need that. So it works in my best interest if you don't fight. Right. Okay. Thank you. Fine. I'm invested in this relationship just as much now. Thank you.

Say sorry to your brother. I'm sorry. Good. No. I don't have to say sorry. No, he didn't mean to apologise to you. He was the one that told me off. Vaughan, sometimes you give an apology,

it doesn't mean that you owe one back. No, he was the one that growled at me during the intro. Because you were being silly buggers. Oh, come on, Mum. Come on, Mum. This is because you're my step-Mum. No. You're not my real Mum.

Where's your real Mum? Where's she dealing with this crap that you guys put me through? She'd love to have me more. But she died in the mine accident. Yeah. Throw that in my face. Because she had to work in a silver mine. Yeah.

And I said, Mum, that's a dangerous job. And she said, I'll do whatever it takes. Listen, you've apologised. He's accepted. We can move on. Now I'm thinking about our dead mum. Well, she's not your dead mum. She's my dead mum.

Why are you mad at me now, Fletch? That's your dead mum. That's your mum and she's alive. We're your half brothers. We seriously... Yeah, because... Yeah, because my... Today's fact of the day...

How we share a father, obviously, keep up. We share a father. Today's fact of the day... No way, we're half brothers, not stepbrothers. Keep up. We share a father. Today's Fact of the Day. No, wait, we're half-brothers, not step-brothers. And all this week, it's okay to hook up with your step-brother. It's not okay to hook up with your half-brother. No, that's a blood relative. You share one pair.

You shouldn't do that. Okay. Today's Fact of the Day. So keep your hands to yourself, half-brother. It's Upside Down Week here at Fact of the Day. And today I want to tell you about secret codes. Do you still need my New York Times login? Nah.

Did you get around that? I found a way I work around. Okay. I asked ChatGPT. Oh, okay. Good. ChatGPT told me the answer. I said, ChatGPT, tell me the history of an upside down stamp meaning I love you.

Because, you know, if you received a letter in the olden times and the stamp on it was upside down, it was a way of saying like you'd know who it was from. Really? Your secret pen pal. And inside it might have other sort of coded sentences and stuff that to the untrained eye might not mean something. But, you know, you think about before the days of direct messaging

or telephone calls or where if you were having a sort of tryst. So hard to, yeah, have an affair when they lived, you know, miles away. Miles away. And the only way to get there was by carrier pigeon. Exactly, by post. And you had to carve a picture of your C and B and send it to them via. Yeah, or draw it and you're like, hold on, that's not right. Way bigger, way bigger, way bigger.

This is a scale, but it's kind of, you know, 1 eighth of a scale or whatever. So if you received a letter and the stamp was upside down, that automatically meant I love you. Because it had to be discreetly expressed feelings, often held between two people that shouldn't have been in such correspondence. Also, imagine you'd have to get the letters out of the letterbox before your partner got home. Because then he'll be like,

why is the stamp upside down? Yeah, yes. If we all knew that that's what it meant. That's true. If it was a well-known thing, it would be. There's other stamp positions in their meetings. If it's tilted to the right, it means I miss you. If it's tilted to the left, it means no. Right. If it's tilted to the left, it means no.

Right. Ah, no. I miss you. Ah, you see my back. Ah, no. If it's sideways, best wishes. I promise to be faithful if you put it in the bottom left-hand corner. And the top left-hand corner was a real, like,

I need you to write back really quickly. Okay. But the upside-down stamp in the traditional right, top right-hand corner of a letter was a secret little I love you message. Like the bananas in the trolley. That's right. Or the pineapple upside down on your door. On cruise ships, eh?

Yeah, swingers. On all cruise ships? I thought it just meant you wanted a pina colada. I know. The amount of times I got that wrong though. Because I love a pina colada. And then I was like, wait, who are these people? What's happening?

Where's my pina colada? Where are the pina coladas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure this is nice. Yeah, okay, take my clothes off. Yeah, absolutely, feel free.

But I will need a pina colada at some stage. I will need a pineapple coconut beverage. As indicated by the pina colada. We should have pina coladas on Saturday, by the way. Symbol on the door.

Yeah, we should. Just plant it. Nah, too creamy. Well, we'll ask for yours with slightly less cream. I don't know, I don't want any cream. Fletch and Hayley full cream?

Vaughan no cream. Vaughan half cream. I'll have a Malibu less cream. I don't know. I don't want any cream. Fletch and Hayley full cream? Vaughan half cream. I'll have a Malibu and Coke. Yum! Yuck! Yum! You're so trash. Yum!

I forget how trash you are, even though it's been 21 years. 21 years. Tron's showing. Yeah. Tron's out. Which is another thing on a cruise ship. So today's fact of the day is if you want to spice it up in the modern era and send a bloody letter in the post, which costs a fortune now.

So you don't need to get a courier bag. Every time. You actually get a courier bag and pop that little sticker upside down in the top right hand corner. It's a nightmare for the couriers to scan it and they're just trying to do the best they possibly can and send it to someone. It means I love you. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Listen, I'm off to Melbourne on Monday for the comedy festival over there and while I'm there I've booked in four new tattoos. Now, we will just say that while you're in Melbourne and you're doing Sydney and Brisbane as well for your shows, you'll be broadcasting

the show. Of course I will at three o'clock in the morning. Wait, what about Daylight Savings? Will that be two o'clock? They're going the same time. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're all good. Victoria pulls the... Ripcord yeah otherwise oh my god how was that gonna happen no it's gonna be a lot of fun i think it'll be really fun but i have i was like while i'm there you know what i'm gonna get new tattoos and so i booked a tattoo and then i was like oh

there's another artist that i really admire his work. And so I booked a tattoo with him. And then I was talking to him about that tattoo and like other tattoos that I wanted to get. What are you picking them out of a clear file? No, no, no. Designs that I've thought of for ages. A dolphin. She's getting a dolphin over a wave. Yeah, on the small of my back.

With a sunset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going to change the Playboy Bunny tattoo you've got on the small of your back to a hot sunset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going to change the Playboy bunny tattoo you've got on the small of your back to a hot tour. I'm going to give it a full body. I think she was going to go hot tour. Yeah. Playboy, right.

And weirdly, a Honda logo. Well, you know I'm passionate about that car. You're a Mazda ambassador now. I am a Mazda ambassador now. So you're getting that blacked out. Just turn the H into an M. Just try to get them to make it say Mazda. Gotcha. Okay, yeah. So i've booked these two tattoos in and then talking to this tattoo artist i was

like um i was like um oh i want here's some other things ideas that i had and he was like let's do them so now i've booked in for four tattoos in two weeks okay well what's the problem they're just stickers, right? Two are secrets. Like everybody's getting stickers, tattoos. No, no, no. I'm not a sticker girl.

That's not my style. Mine are always quite big. But I'm getting like a medieval court jester. I'm getting a Nancy Sinatra pin-up girl. And then on my knees, and this is the thing

I need to ask about, I'm getting something that I can't say because it's a surprise. On your knees? On your knees. Spider webs. No. I quite like that about. I'm getting something that I can't say because it's a surprise. On your knees? Spider webs. No. I quite like that look.

But what is your concern here? My concern is, I'm not going on the knee, I'm going above the knee. How far above the knee? Oh no, look at, mine goes wrinkly. This is my worry. Look, what's wrong when you stand straight legged? I'm 36 this year and I'm heavy in thigh.

And what I'm feeling is gravity's effects. And I think I might have saggy knees. Now, do you think that on this, just above the knee, that it's going to get saggier and baggier, that I'll regret getting a tattoo there? It's going to start drooping down over the kneecap? A thousand percent. That's where I really want them.

It's like when 19-year-olds get a map of Australia or New Zealand on the side of their chest, and then get a beer guts in their 30s and that New Zealand kind of looks like Australia. I will say the tattoo on the left side of my back definitely has a tear throat. Has a slight stretch mark that sort of made its way through some of the lines. That's fine. But the saggy knees. That's just ageing.

Yeah, it's a weird place to get a tan. I don't know if I would. Someone said squats and deadlifts, girl, you'll be sorted. Now I squat. We are talking about the squat claim.

Yeah, the squat claim. The thrust claim. Okay, this is what I want to know is don't put me off the knees because I'm already sold. Oh, I know.

It's two people who are already trying to put you off the knees. Anywhere but the knees. Don't do it. I'm 42. The knees sag.

Because it's fine when you're in a chair. I don't have saggy knees. When you're in a chair sitting now, like have saggy knees. When you're in a chair sitting now, like I look at my knees, it's very taut. Taut. But even when I stand up. Yeah, when I, even when you go like that, it's the sag

of the skin there. And it just kind of bunches. It's not like even a It looks a bit like a ball sack. I'll say a little bit like a ball sack when I stand up. But that's why I'm sold on it. I want to know, did you get a tattoo on a body part that you regret? I am getting four new tattoos when I'm in Melbourne, and two of them I want to get just above the knee,

an area famous on a woman for sagging. Well, men as well. It's just that bit above the knee. It's all jiggly. And it's because we bend the knees so much that the skin, you know, gets stretched out. Have you been talked out of it by messages? No.

I don't care. Do you know what? Someone just messaged me and been like, you're only young once. Who cares when they sag? I'll be a cool, saggy old lady with saggy tattooed knees. Do you know what I'm kind of like? Awesome. Whatever.

I love when people are saying what it was and now what it looks like. Also, I mean, you might even, even if you don't like them, later on you might come off your skateboard and graze your knees and it might just take them away. Peel the skin off. Take it off. Peel the skin, clean off. Someone said, near the hip, if you're a young lady,

I've got Mickey Mouse. Heirs blew up like balloons when I was pregnant. Now he's hiding under a fat roll, looking like he had a hard note on the ramp. Exquisite text message. Oh, my God. I love that. Is that text of the week?

That's bloody good. Text of the week. I mean, what are we, Thursday, right? Yeah. And we've not given that away? I'm doing that. What are we, some mad lunatics? I'm doing that. Is that text of the week? That's bloody good. Text of the week. I mean, we're Thursday, right? Yeah. And we've not given that away? I'm doing that. What are we, some mad lunatics? I'm doing that.

Okay, $50 Animates voucher, our text of the week. Congratulations. All thanks to Animates making happy happen for pets. Yeah. I'm just going to Emily. Emily, where do you regret getting a tattoo? So I've got two placements of tattoos. I love the tattoos themselves, but I just regret where I put them.

Okay. So when I was a baby, I was quite sick, and I had Winnie placements of tattoos. I love the tattoos themselves, but I just regret where I put them. Okay. When I was a baby, I was quite sick, and I had Winnie the Pooh toys. Everything was Winnie the Pooh. Yeah. So I've got Winnie the Pooh and Friends tattooed on the back of my left arm. Yeah. And I can't see it.

Yeah. So that's the reason you regret putting it there is you can't see it. I can't see it. I get lots of compliments on it. And, yeah, people go, oh, I really love that. I go, yeah is you can't see it. I can't see it. I get lots of compliments on it. And yeah, people go, oh, I really love that. I go, yeah, I can't see it. You need to put some friends on the other side. Yeah, so when I got all the evolutions put

onto my right arm, and I made sure that original Evie's right at the front so that I can see it. Oh, okay, so you fixed it. Most to least favourite. On the other arm. And then I've got a care bear on the back of my leg.

A care bear? Amazing. On the back of my ankle. Which care bear? Yeah, big call, great call there. It's love a lot bear actually. It's love a lot bear and I'm getting bedtime bear on the other leg.

I love that. That's so cool, man. I'm giving it out, so pink and blue. Awesome, Emily, thank you. I'm a grumpy bear guy myself. Danielle, where do you regret getting a tattoo? Oh, I regret getting a tattoo on my butt. Oh, okay.

Oh, interesting. Why? Because like our last caller, you can't see it? Or it's not the same shape that it was? Well, it's still the same shape, but it's just a regretment because of where it is. Oh, okay. Do you just not like it anymore or you just think it's a bit like, why is that there? It was silly of me because of what it is.

It's your name. And my son was like, what's that on your butt? Is that my dad's name? Whose name is on it? It says your name. It says your name. Fletch and Vaughn. No, just the words your name. Yeah,? It says your name. It says your name. Fletch and Vaughn. No, just the words your name.

Yeah, just the words your name. So she can say to someone, I've got your name tattered on my arse. And they're like, what? And then she shows them. Oh, nah, Danielle, I like that. That's a funny joke. I love that.

That's so good. Do you know what I should do? Get your name tattered on my arse. That's so funny. I love it. Nah, wear that with pride. And it doesn't matter who you're with. It still works, the joke. Because it's always your name. So true, actually. Yeah, nah, rock that with pride. And it doesn't matter who you're with. It still works, the joke.

Because it's always your name. So true, actually. Yeah, nah, rock that with pride. Yeah, don't regret that, Danielle. We want to know, where did you regret getting a tattoo? The placement of it. Because I'm going to get some above my knees, Georgia, and then get in a bit saggy.

You know, do you have saggy knees? Are they getting saggy? Oh, you get those little lines, eh? Yeah, I don't think you should get them. I think higher up. What are you getting? I can't say. Those ones are a surprise.

Okay. When are you getting them? In a couple of weeks. Oh, gee whiz. Okay, cool. But we are asking where did you regret getting the tattoo? Because bodies change or, you know? I got one on my right hip.

It was a Latin phrase. And after having children and not losing the baby weight, it's not even Latin anymore. Just graffiti. Yeah. Miscellaneous graffiti. Illegible tagging. On the bottom.

Renee, what tattoo do you regret getting and where? Morning, guys. Morning. So, look, regret. I don't know about regret, but it's on my bum cheek. Yeah. And it was part of a competition at the Bahama Hut in Hamilton. Oh, my God.

Please tell me it was for a $50 bar tab. No, more than that, Bletch. You won a whole party. I didn't win the competition. What? You got the dinner? Wait, I didn't win the competition. What? You got the tattoo? Wait, so your entry to the competition was showing such dedication to the Bahama Hut that you got a tattoo on your butt of the Bahama Hut and you still didn't win?

A whole bunch of students did all these crazy things on stage over two Saturday nights and actually three of us girls spun tattoo on the wheel. Would you like to know what the tattoo is? Yes. Oh, my God, no. Yes. We did not get a choice. It is the stamp that you get when you went to go in.

That's trash. That's trash. Sweet, man. Sweet. Oh, my God. Sweet. Cardbar.co.nz. So good.

Oh, it's got the website on it too? Wow. Of course it does. Wow. Is the Bahama Hut's gone, eh? Didn't they? Oh, it's long gone. They're done?

Well, it's a moment in history. That's a beautiful win. You've got a historic tattoo. You've got a bit of Hamilton history. Look, I know you didn't win and you only got the tattoo, but I want to say Caller of the Week. I totally agree. Because you can't go home empty-handed.

You went through all of that pain. So thanks to Chemist Warehouse, home of the biggest brands at the lowest price, we've got a Chemist Warehouse prize pack for you. And you don't even have to get tattooed. Can I just get a quick check on what year that happened, Renee? I was 19 and I'm 34 this year. It's a different time.

It's a different time. 15 years ago. Jeez. Far apart. Good on you. I think it's funny. Yeah, thanks, Renee. Okay, so message is in. I've got a four-leaf clover on my hip. think it's funny. Yeah, thanks, Renee. Okay, some messages in.

I got a four-leaf clover on my hip. Three pregnancies later, it looks like a cabbage. You get it touched up to look like a cabbage. Actually, cabbage is real yum. Yeah, it is. Oh, I got my first one on my ribs. I've got one on my ribs. It's not good.

15 years ago, but the guy had me raise my arms to place the stencil. Four breastfed babies later, You can't even see it. Oh, I'm hiding under the tatay there. The tatay. Oh, please. The tatay has covered the tattoo. I got a tattoo of a quote on my ribs that is now, after getting pregnant, in bold and italics.

Someone's highlighted it and put it in bold. I got a camel on my toe while drunk in Bangkok, and I gotta tell you, yesterday when I went to physio and the guy just looked at it and put it in bold. I got a camel on my toe while drunk in Bangkok. And I got to tell you, yesterday when I went to physio and the guy just looked at it and went, I was like, what? He pissed you. It's Yuma. It's camel toe.

It's camel toe. How many bloody Bangkok slungs did they have to get that underway? Probably. My boyfriend wants me to get good boy tattooed on my butt cheek. Thoughts? Don't do that. Don't do that. Are you a good boy?

Because you're not his good boy. How much of a good boy is he? If you're a good boy and you want to be represented on your butt as good boy, yeah, that's completely up to you. You two to have. I got a cute fairy on my lower belly slash hip when I was 16. Two kids now and I'm 40 and it looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. My tattoo regret is a watercolour tattoo on my lower back

that my husband says looks like Papa Smurf just on my back. What was it before it was Papa Smurf? Just like a watercolour. And they look a little like a watercolour. Oh. And then look at what I got Papa Smith. Oh, dear. I got a, oh, yeah, Spates tattoo on the arse there. Yeah.

That would have been again for a bar tat. That would have been for the logo, yeah, yeah. Didn't someone say now it looks like a logo on a beer bottle after you've left it in the rain for the weekend? There are some people in support of these knee tattoos. Okay. You throw caution to the wind. Who cares? They'll look good for as long as I look good.

Just go high as you can. I would go high. Yeah. Yeah. I got two men's names, my best friends, tattooed on my butt. One cheek each. Yeah. Being a gay man and a bottom.

And we celebrate our bottoms here on the show. We do. We do celebrate our bottoms. Men will see it and say, who are these two? Can you imagine? And who are these two?, who are these two? Can you imagine? And who are these two? And who are these two? Who's Dylan and Brian?

I'm just going to take your pants off, you sweet, sweet little boy, and get it out. Now, who are these two? Who the hell is Dylan and Brian? Who the bloody hell are Dylan and Brian? Get out of my house. Get out of my house. Pull up your pants.

Go find Dylan and Brian if you want something. Send us a... Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.