ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - April 7th, 2025

Episode Date: April 6, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod; Women that only love fictional men Vaughan's Dua Lipa review SLP - How do you eat your Easter bunny? Robert Urwin Bonds AD Top 6 - Ways to get people to church MAFS Update - Jaqui & Clint Suits LA interview Receding hairlines are hot now What went wrong with the ashes? Jenna Ortega & Paul Rudd interview FVH double cake shame Fact if the day What did you break right after buying it? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod, brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan

and Hayley's. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Good morning. There are going to be a few grumpy people this morning because of daylight savings, do you reckon? It shocked me last night how dark it was. But it should be the opposite because you do get one hour's extra sleep. Yeah, but then my body was like waking up early. Yeah, today I was like, no, go back to sleep. It's not yet. It's not yet. And my cat is so confused because he's on a very strict time.

And he was just like, I'm starving. Why have you guys not fed me yet? So we'll adjust. We shall prevail. Dumb cats. They don't get daylight savings. I was like, put your watch back, bro. Come on, homie.

Big show today. A lot of C-Labs on the show. Joining us after 8 o'clock, Jenna Ortega and Paul Rudd. Yeah. To talk about their new movie, which is out on Thursday, Death of a Unicorn. You've seen it? I've seen it. I've seen it.

It was unlike anything I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, the trailer that I saw was very weird. You think it's one thing, you go in, it's just so unique. I loved it. I love unique. I loved it. I love, love, loved it. Also out today on TVNZ, Suits LA. So we've got Josh McDermott, who you'll know from The Walking Dead. Yeah.

Joining us on the show. So people love Suits. Well, and this is the new one, isn't it? The new one, yeah, the spin-off. The west coast of the old east coast. Do you think Suits has even more notoriety because of Meghan Markle? You know, the people are always a bit fascinated by the show as well because of her. Because it had an extra life when we went out on Netflix, right?

Yeah, it was massive when it went. Because it was, yeah, traditional broadcast. Then it went on Netflix. It was massive. So, here we are on the show with us about quarter past seven this morning. Look at us hosting a party. Another chance, the last chance this morning before seven to go in the draw

for our World Tour Island Edition because later this morning we're going to draw our first island. That's right. But many islands still to give away. Exactly. So let's not panic. Chance to escape the cold and wet.

Oh my God, wouldn't it be north? Listen up for that activator. I had a busy weekend. You did, Vaughan. What a socialite. What a social bunny. A pleasure to be part of it. You did, Vaughan. What a socialite. What a social bunny. A pleasure to be part of it.

You've got a review for us, though, don't you believe? From Dua Lipa on Friday night. He went out for drinks. He went out to a concert. I know. Who is this man? Who is this man? Who is this socialite amongst us?

It's just a butterfly, you know? It's a social butterfly. You are. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Sunsilk Custom Highlights. They'reley. Sunsilk Custom Highlights. They're still doing Sunsilk Custom Highlights? Put the moose in your hair and then... You're talking to two people without hair.

Just remember that. Oh, so I've got guys crying. Flesh finds it hard enough to read out that line for the show sponsor. Yeah, yeah, the tears are brimming in his eyes. I was fighting back the tears. Oh, God, I'm so sorry to make this worse. Fictosexuality.

Huh? Fictosexuality. Fictosexuality. Huh? Fictosexuality. You're into thick people. No, not feck. My she feck. Ficto, as in fictitious. Oh, okay. Is where individuals feel romantic or sexual attraction

to fictional characters and is a significant part of their sexual identity. Now, this can be anything from Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, like your old school romantic characters where we go, oh my God, to have a man like Mr. Darcy, to your more smut-based characters that we see on TikTok and whatnot. And apparently, this is a genuine thing, where people are unable

to actually feel attraction towards real human beings and feel more drawn towards fictitious characters because tell you what you don't have to pick up their shit

they're always clean you know what I mean they're just like they're just written they make the bed they don't even they don't even have a bed they don't even

they don't even mess up the bed you mess up the bed you mess make the bed. They don't even mess up the bed. They don't even. They don't even mess up the bed. You mess up the bed. You mess up the bed. But they don't. And then people just go, oh, my God, you have this kind of, what is it, like sort of perfect vision of a man. And there's no flaws. You get none of the bad side.

And apparently this is more common in people who are gifted students that experience a deep infatuation with fictitional characters. You're more intelligent. Lines up for me. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if the word gifted, if it was formally diagnosed as gifted. Now, can I bring in producer Carwin, who by the way, at Carwin Reads on Instagram

for her book reviews, where mostly it's romantic, romance, a little bit of smut. Yeah, honestly, I've been reading a little bit of contemporary at the moment. Oh. What's contemporary? What does that mean? Just like modern literature.

Yeah. No, not based on sex. No, just books. Not romance, just stories. But you're flicking through looking for the scene. But what's it like being, you've gone from so much smart reading and erotica to normal books. Are you just like, this just doesn't fill it?

Yeah. Sometimes if it does have a little bit of a romance story to it and there's like, they're not getting into a bed together, what's happening? Yeah. Totally. They just held hands walking down the street. Yeah. Don't even kiss until the end of the book.

What the fuck? Yeah. The kiss is the crescendo of the entire story. What are they doing? Watching a Hallmark movie? Like, what's going on? Boo. Have you ever read a book where you're, like,

fallen in love a little bit with one of the characters? I feel like, and I probably am not alone in this, but Zayden from The Fourth Wing, like, he is, like, the boy at the moment. And I think when they cast him for the TV show, I think people are going to be very critical because we've all got this man in our mind.

Yes, yes. Everyone wants Henry Cavill in these things because of The Witcher, right? Because he kind of plays that, works in that world well. I don't know if I've ever fallen in love with a character

but definitely... Here we go. I was trying to be like... Here we go. Definitely you go, oh, that would be nice. Someone just turned on a vibrator somewhere. Yeah, a drill just turned on out here.

No, it's smart. You've got to leave that stuff at home. It's absolutely grotesque in the workplace. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. In a turn of events, at the weekend, Vaughan Smith went to a concert. I went to Dua Lipa on Friday night. Spark Arena. Took my girls to Spark.

Yeah. Good stuff. Really good stuff. Yeah. She Dad mode kicked in and I was like, she really needs to tie her hair back. What? She had her hair out for the whole show but she just sung

and danced the entire time. The whole thing was choreographed dances. Because she doesn't play any instruments, so she's just dancing and singing. Not just dancing and singing, but, you know, like, other people might pick up a guitar, for example. But she just danced the entire time. Didn't play this song in full, though. That was a contentious issue with August, my daughter.

Yeah. Great song. I hate when an artist does a medley to just tick the box of a few songs. It's like, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. We're here for that song. We're here for your new one.

We're here for that song. We're here for all the good ones. Were there many songs that you were like, I have no idea what this is? Like a couple? Yeah. Maybe. But they were good songs,

so you're kind of like, good toilet break or refreshments break. But you'd forget how many songs she's got. That was the thing. It was so many. Because she left and the lights didn't come on. And I said to the girls, it's going to be an encore. Or do they not know what that is?

Nah. I was like, it's where they disappear and they come back again. And they're like, why? Why do they do that? I was like, oh, maybe, I don't know. Toilet break. Maybe stroke the ego. Old fashioned.

Or just off stage, come back on. But then I was like, what songs she even got to come out and play three of her biggest songs? I was like, jeez, I just. You forget. You forget how many songs she's had. Yeah. When you go to a concert and you're a guardian to two children, how do you go to the toilet? Surprisingly, weirdly for me, because, you know, during a one and a half hour movie, I'll go to the toilet three times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I overthink it and I always get a big huge Coca-Cola yeah no I didn't need to go to the toilet but I just would have been like you stay here just hope they don't get lost

yeah totally yeah I showed them how to get to the toilet on the way in that's a precautionary situation yep and I sat next to

a journalist from the Herald and she kept saying can you ask your daughters if they know what song this is? Oh my gosh. I'm like,

do you know what song this is? And they'd be like, yeah, it's this one. Did she have one of those journalist pens that has a light on it? No, she had a phone. Oh, she was just taking notes.

I've turned the brightness right down. Okay. But I'm not texting during a concert. I'm taking notes. I'm taking notes, yeah. That's fine, that's fine.

That'll annoy me. So Wednesday night, the first Dua Lipa show, she played Lorde's song, Royals. Because she does this, whatever country she's in. But Lorde wasn't there, was she? No, Lorde wasn't there. Lorde's busy.

But then the next, when the night we went, we got treated to something very special, Don't Dream It's Over with Neil Finn. Is this fresh audio? This is straight from you? Wow. When I saw the videos in the morning, I was like, okay, that's pretty cool. It was really cool.

It was. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man. What a vibe. You've got to... She really kicked it. She can... I mean, she's a pop star.

Of course, she can sing, but she can really sing. No, no, no. You can be a pop star and not know how to sing. she can really sing. No, no, no. You can be a pop star and not sing live. No, she can really belt it out. She's got a powerful voice. Oh yeah. The concert she was out and dancing and sweating and her hair was around and I was just like

ugh, tie it back. Because when I'm in Declaro. Okay, so your review of the Dua Lipa concert is she should have tied her hair back in an otherwise great night. A great show, but I just should have tied her hair back in an otherwise great night. A great show, but I just would have tied my hair back because it kept like

sticking to it and I haven't had hair for 20 years, but it was sticking to her skin and I don't know, it just made me feel like a shower curtain.

You've got to top knot that stuff. That's me on a night out if I've been dancing. It's in a top knot immediately. Yeah. Her outfit changes

were swift as well. Real quick. Changing from not much to not much. Yeah. But she was dancing so much, she couldn't have worn, she would have sweated even more. Well, she couldn't have worn a coat and jeans. Okay, so the review is, should have tied the hair back,

otherwise great concert. Very sweaty. Yeah. Sweaty. And quick costume changes. Good voice for a pop star. Yeah. And if you need to go to the toilet, you can go. Just tell the girls to stay put.

Great review. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, Silly little poll is how do you eat an Easter bunny, like a chocolate Easter bunny, not a lint rabbit. I approach them differently. I'll eat the ass of a lint rabbit first.

You go ass first and a lint. But the other one, you go ears down. Whereas most are just standing like up, like a human. So really the lint chocolate bunny is really the most correct, isn't it? Anatomically correct, yeah.

In a crouch-like position. Yeah. I have never myself seen, other than Peter Rabbit, rabbits standing so strong and tall without much support. I've seen them. They go up and they look like that. But they don't run like that. No. When they're up like that, it's the perfect time to snipe them.

They're a pest. You're a pest. Correct. And if I ever stick my head up, feel free to snipe it. You know what I'm saying? There would be a funny ad for whoever makes Easter eggs is having a farmer shoot the chocolate rabbits and then eats them. And he's like, got ya.

I'll take that to the agency. You take it to Cadbury's agency. Gorgeous. There's something there. You've got the starts of a great idea. Yeah, you keep ruminating. Ruminating.

How do you eat an Easter bunny, a chocolate one? We offered you the following options. Top to bottom, bottom to top, smash it and eat the random bit. Love that. Yeah, that feels good. Love that too.

And you keep it in the tin foil. Yeah. Open the fridge door. But then a jagged piece of chocolate goes straight through the tin foil and ruins the whole vibe. How do you eat it? The overwhelming favourite was top to bottom.

80% of people will eat the ears to the arse, basically. Yeah. Okay. Ears to arse. That's arse as well. Oh, we're arse to mouth. Arse to... No.

Yes. Arse to ears. Conversion. No, well, that was a podcast only. That was a podcast only. Now that I've said it out loud on the radio, I do immediately see the fault in saying that. I do apologise to all. Top 20% 80%. Second favourite, smash it

and eat it, random bits. 19%. And then 1% of people, bottom to top. Bottom to top? Bottom. It's thicker on the bottom. The feet are thick. The ears are tapered. That's why you save it till the end, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone knows that if you smash it down, you get

more chocolate, said Sam. That's basic Easter maths. Okay. I beg your pardon, I was not aware of Easter maths. Yeah, I kind of get it though. Yeah. Because I'll take one big bite and I get the whole lot. But if you smash it, it does feel like more. But it's also like you want to be like, I'll just bite the ears off

without trying to destroy it too much. Yes, yes. It's kind of like a challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To not destroy it. I like when you get to the bottom, if you eat it from the top down, you get to be like, oh, just bite the ears off without trying to destroy it too much. Yes, yes. It's kind of like a challenge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To not destroy it. I like when you get to the bottom, if you eat it from the top down, you get to the bottom and it's like a cup. The last bit of it

is like a cup filled with all the yum shards. Yeah, shards, shards and flakes. Yeah, shards are chalky. Bite the head off, said Matt, with a big bite to make sure it's dead. Then slowly eat the body

by breaking off little pieces of chocolate until you hit the bottom platform, which you eat in one or two big bites up to the individual. Nothing worse than just getting the ears off and it's still wriggling around in your mouth. Oh, my God, I know. And you're like, God, that's fresh. Put it out of its misery.

Vicky said always start at the top so that the chocolate crumbs fall into the hollow Easter bunny and you've got to treat at the end. Yes. Don't eat hollow. Only marshmallow one, said Lisa. That's also not grumpy, Lisa. Oh, okay. Yeah, I wouldn't get a hollow bunny wouldn't be my first pick.

Really? Really? I love hollow bunny. I love the hollow bunny. If it's good, chocolate. Not those trash Australian chocolate ones. Oh, the carob. Yeah, that's embarrassing, eh?

It goes all white. Oh, Liv. Eat the top off, then fill it with warmish milk. Oh, no. Too milky. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not for me, Liv. You'd have Then fill it with warmish milk Oh no Too milky No, no, no, no, no, no, no Not for me You'd have to do that in a bowl

I'd want you to have a bowl underneath 100% I'd want a bowl underneath to catch And don't bring that into the lounge Stay at the bench and eat that Oh yeah Gotta take those ears in one Said Emily

Really get as much air down Down there as she can Before she bears it off the ears I hope it's not a big bunny. Yeah, big wrong bunny. I might be testing you there. Top to bottom a rabbit and smash the egg, said Jessie. Oh, so a big hollow chocolatey, they smash the egg.

Do you bite an egg first, a big egg? I try to. Yeah. I bet you. You scrape your teeth around it. And he said, top to bottom so I can sit in the fridge the right way up and stay standing until I eat it all when I get a craving for a sweet treat. Completely agree.

Structurally, Annie, that's the perfect approach. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. On Friday, Robert Irwin dropped a whole bunch of photos that he was taking for Bonds, the underwear brand. Yeah, and Amy did a behind-the-scenes video as well. Yeah, and it's him in his Bonds undies, absolutely looking jacked,

with snakes and lizards all wrapped around him. And the internet was like, what? Well, we all just remember him as the young fellow that was a tiny boy when his father passed. Little boy. Yeah. His father was his hero. He's a full grown man. He's a full grown man. Like the body is

bodying. We knew this because he's done like the odd topless thing before. Totally but the sexual energy behind these photos. I mean look at his spread. I mean there's a snake. He's sprayed. I mean, there's a snake. 21 years old. Jacked. Is he 21? He's 21. He turned 21 in December.

1st of December is his birthday. I'm not usually attracted to a younger man. Interesting. Interesting. All the wildlife he's posing with. He just looks so, like, masked. I don't know. There's so many battles. He's all jacked up. He's got, like, pythons around't know. There's so many battles. He's all jacked up. It's odd.

He's got, like, pythons around him and lizards and all this kind of stuff. Because obviously his passion is wildlife. Yeah, well, he runs a zoo, doesn't he? He runs a zoo. Which zoo is that? The Sydney one. The Australia zoo. The Australia zoo.

Yeah. I'm going to go. No, it's in Queensland. It's in Queensland. Oh, why did I think it was Sydney? Sydney's Taronga Zoo. Taronga, that's the one I'm thinking of. Which is a pretty good zoo.

And there is a zoo north of Sydney that's got lots of crocs and stuff, but it's not them. Yeah, right, okay. Well, the internet's thirsty about this. Very, very thirsty about this. I think everyone, again, like you say, he was just this young thing and now we're like, man is here. Some comments.

But also weird because it just makes you think of Steve, eh? Steve was really... Was Steve packing? Steve wasn't that like ripped. But Steve probably wasn't slamming protein shakes either. He was just out there living off bush tucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think he had a good rig on him.

Oh yeah, he had a great bod. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was too busy. He wouldn't have been going to the gym. That's definitely a gym bod. That's a gym bod. Here's some feedback on the Instagram. On the Instagram?

On the Instagram post. She's a little flustered. I am? It's so bizarre. Not at all my type. So clean cut. So young. Blonde.

Like, oh, there's no belly. There's no hair. And I'm Like, oh, there's no belly. There's no hair. And I'm like, whatever, whatever. Okay. Someone said my pronouns are now Liz and Ard. You do weddings. I need a groom. Suddenly I identify as a crocodile.

I'm being told that apparently there are animals in some of these photos. One with 34,000 likes says, Robert, I'm trying to be a lesbian over here. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Ladies, what colour was the grass? Bro, you've got to calm down. My wife's on this app. I love this.

So good. Terry, come and get your son. That's good. If you made a calendar with proceeds going to the zoo, y'all would never have to have any other fundraiser ever again Oh my gosh Oh my gosh, they wouldn't Surely that's next

He should do that, yeah 100% Oh my god, honestly, it's the thirstiest stuff And there's like Website after website after website Publish this And the comments are just outrageous When he's calmed down, guys

He is a good man doing good things for the planet. He's a good boy. That's what I noticed first. What you're saying is he's a good boy. He is a good boy. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. England's wrestling church combines faith and fight.

Oh, God. Faith and fight. Yeah, seeks converts with baptisms and body slams. wrestling church combines faith and fight. Oh, God. Faith and fight. Yeah. Seeks converts with baptisms and body slams. Brilliant. I mean, the headlines on this is just kind of like perfect fodder. Yeah.

For a little easy weekend story. So there's a church, St. Peter's Anglican Church in the northern England town of Shipley, where the 37-year-old church church leader said I was saved by pro wrestling and Jesus. I think others will have the same experience. So you can go along and there's a wrestling ring in the middle of the church. Right. And he does

the sermons and stuff in there. It's got big outrageous gemstones energy which if you haven't watched is just one of the most fantastic TV shows. So good. What a cast, too. What a cast. Yeah.

So he said, yeah, wrestling was my lifeline. So this guy, one of the wrestlers is bringing a singlet that says, pray, eat, wrestle, repeat. Brilliant. What more do you need in life? The kingdom. It's pretty crazy. It's a traditional church with a full-blown wrestling ring in the middle.

Well, yeah, they've got to do something to get people back into it because everyone's ridiculous. It's just so... Well, if you've ever watched WWE, it's got mega church energy. Yeah, definitely. Signs and everybody's just fully like into it. Deep dive. Well, I've got the top six other ways to get people

back to church. Number six on the list, better crackers. Yeah. Maybe some cheese. Yeah. You know what? Maybe a bit of cheese, dude. Yeah, the body of Christ.

You're like, thanks. Yeah. And then you take the wafer and then you pick your choice of cheese. Maybe a squiggle. I'd go for a squiggle. Oh, you'd go for a sweet biscuit. Yeah, sweet.

I actually, yeah. That would really put the price up. But it's not all churches that do wafers, is it? That's Catholic. Catholic. It's just your one. It's communion. Yeah. Okay. Go up. It's not all churches that do wafers, is it? That's Catholic. It's just your one. It's communion. It's your personal church. My church does.

My church. When you last went as a kid? Yeah. Last time I went I was an adult. It was midnight mass and someone had

got a little bit carried away at a party before. Anyway, we're going to talk about that because mum's still upset. Number five on the list

of the top six ways to get people back to church, a driving range. Everyone loves a driving range. Even to get people back to church, a driving range. Everyone loves a driving range. Even people that don't like golf love a driving range. You've never been to a driving range?

I've never been to a driving range. We should go to a driving range. It's so much fun. No, I'll be so bad and I don't like being bad at things. But it doesn't matter. No. It doesn't matter.

We'll go off to work one day when it's quiet. Yeah, it'll be fun. It's fun. It's a way to release some pent up energy. No, I won't hit the thing. I'll miss.

No, you will. You'll get better. I'm embarrassed. And then we'll stand there and tell won't hit the thing. I'll miss. No, you will. You'll get better. And then we'll stand there and tell you how to do it. We'll mansplain golf. You know how white men do it. Could you guys do that cute thing like wrap your hands

around my hips or something like that and it gets all romantic? Yeah. And I'm like, ah. Number four on the list of the top six ways

to get people back to church, buffets. Yeah. Oh, hell yes. Who doesn't love a buffet? Yeah. A real confusing one like there's rice but there's pasta. Yeah, yeah. You know what I. A real confusing one, like there's rice, but there's pasta. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's ham, but there's curry. What is it? I love that. It's everything. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get people back to church. Day spas.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Imagine going to a service and then, I don't know, having a foot soak during. Praying a pity. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get people back to church, rather than a sip of red wine during communion, open bar.

Love it. Oh, my God. Love it. Imagine, though, if the church was like, hey, we do Friday night services. Yeah. Open bar, just come along. We'd go. Every Friday we'd be like, we can't get a couple of drinks in.

Can I get two scotches for Jesus, please? Yeah. Can I get some Jager bombs for Christ? And number one on the list of the top six ways to get people back to church, sexier Jesus. He's already pretty sexy. He's already pretty hot. I think he needs a bit of a modern take, though. Put more chest here.

Just Henry Cavill, basically. Henry Cavill on a cross? Yeah. No, because he'd tense his muscles and break the cross. Because he's Henry Cavill on a cross? Yeah. No, because he'd like tense his muscles and break the cross. Because he's Henry Cavill. Hot. Did you see Henry Cavill's hot post at the weekend when he was cooking steaks? Yeah.

It blew me apart. That's the reason I cooked steak last night. Don't try to compete, Holm, with Henry Cavill. No, no, no, no. He influenced me. No, none taken, none taken. Oh, my God. He's a porter man.

That is today's Top Six. Zed-Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Tonight on 3, we head into final vowels. Now I know Vaughn in particular, you've been looking forward to this for Married at First Sight, the final vowels. It always makes me very emotional. Why are you saying vowels? Vowels.

It sounds like you're saying vowels. You were saying vowels. No, final vowels. It sounds like you're saying vowels. Vowels. And the final vowel is U, sometimes Y. Sometimes Y. A-E-I-O- vowels. Vowels. And the final vowel is U, sometimes Y. Sometimes Y. A-E-I-O-U. Vowels. This is Y, like, to vowels, what Pluto was to planets.

Like, it'll always be a vowel in my heart. It'll always be a planet in mine. Yeah, and it's like Pluto will always be a planet in my heart. Pluto's not a planet. You shut up. Shut up. He's out there trying to speak. My very earnest mother.

Anyway, vowels. Now it's all over my head. Final vowels. Vow earnest mother. Anyway, vows. Now it's all over my head. Final vows. Vows. Yeah. Vows. Vows. You're still saying L.

Vow. Vows. Vows. It's the final vows. Now you're saying valves. Like the valve. Release the valve. Should I open it more?

Vows. Yeah, that's it. Vows. I think I'm hitting the L too much. And it's sounding like an L. Release the valve. Open it more. Vowels. Yeah, that's it. Vowels. I think I'm hitting the L too much, and it's sounding like an L. Final vowels. There's an L. I heard an L and a U.

Anyway, final vowels. This is in New Zealand, right? And we're always a week behind. But it doesn't- Why do they do a week behind? There's the internet. We don't. Yeah, I know, but we've got bush internet.

You know what I mean? We've got grass heart internet, and apparently it just can't get here quick enough. Right, okay. But however, and there are spoiler alerts here because, but I didn't do it, all the cast this year have been just on the internet. They've been shockers.

Immediately. I don't even like this show, but I am aware that they've all been shocking. Just like shooting it, you're just shooting at the hip basically about the show and kind of revealing everything and then being on social media with or without their partners. So even though it is on TV for us tonight, we kind of already know the outcome for a lot of people.

Yeah. Okay. So I will say if you don't know this news, you don't want to know it. This involves Jackie, who was our Kiwi representative on the show. Yep. Who was Miss New Zealand, Miss Universe. Miss Yacht Boat New Zealand runner-up. And Clint, who was also a different groom, like was not her groom.

Okay, so there's a spoiler alert. If you don't know this gossip, they're engaged. They got engaged. But they were already married. No, they weren't together. Different couple. Completely different couple.

So they've made a new couple. So Jackie and Ryan, the absolute, like, worst, most tumultuous couple of the show. Train wreck. Train wreck. That's the word I was looking for. They were together. And then Clint was with who was, what was that? Lauren.

Clint and Lauren. That was never going to happen. They lasted something like, you know, four hours. They're now together. They've gotten together. And it was announced that they had the reunion viewing party in Australia. And he did it there. Which means, how long, Cowan, how long would they have been together for at this point?

Well, I don't know because they're very, like, unclear as to how long ago they filmed this. But I do think she's been with Clint for a while. I mean, but a while meaning like three months. Less than a year. Less, like three, three, four months. I think they filmed this last year. So like, less than a year. I know. And it kind of makes sense, because I'll say it,

they're both obsessed with money, and insane. Okay. Because like, a public proposal for me, no go, right? In front of like a bunch of people who are fans slash also maybe haters, absolutely not. But for Jackie, it makes no sense. She froths this.

But did you hear what the host said? Someone was hosting the evening and when he got on one knee, Jackie starts freaking out and he said, don't fake cry now, Jackie. Because she's been done for fake crying the whole season. She has been. Yeah, she has been. for fake crying the whole season. She has been. I mean the face is doing all the right muscle movements the sound's coming out of there but there's just

no water from those eyeballs. Which she has come out saying that they've been editing her to show the start of her crying session and the end. She says there has been water but they just have been cutting out the water. They've cut the water. Yeah, they AI'd it out. They've cut the water.

Of course they have. This is quite a big scandal, but it's not the first time, because Duncan and from last season. No, not Duncan Garner. I do not believe. That'd be great. Get him in there. Duncan and Evelyn from last season, they weren't together.

Oh, are they 70-year-olds? I know. No, they were the hottest. Hot, hot, hot. I'm just going to show you, like, this is them. Like, they've done well. Duncan and Evelyn,

those are their names. Yeah, so they weren't together and they make so much sense together. So this isn't the first time this has happened, but honestly, well, yeah. Bit of drama. Bit of drama.

Do you think John, you know who we talk to, what's John's last name? John Aitken. John Aitken. Do you think John takes it personally? Yeah. When they hook's John's last name? John Aitken. John Aitken. Do you think John takes it personally? Yeah. When they hook up with other people?

I reckon he's sitting there going, there's a million reasons this won't work and I could have told you that. Yeah, that's what an old Johnny boy would say. I'd love to talk to him about the season again. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Suits LA is out for Kiwis today. You can find it on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ Plus from today. And we're joined by one of the stars of Suits LA is out for Kiwis today. You can find it on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ Plus from today. And we're joined by one of the stars of Suits LA.

You know him from The Walking Dead. He's been a madman. The Righteous Gemstones. Josh McDermott. Hello. Hello, hello. Thank you for having me. You always have like a really, like the beard rock look that you're rocking currently that

we also see you with Suits. And Eugene, your character in The Walking Dead, had this sort of southern moulay for the time that he was on The Walking Dead. You've always got this iconic hair look, be it facial or head. I'm just trying to look like a big dumb idiot in every project I do. I mean, I want to stand out as much as I can. Yeah, I grew this beard out and thought they would make me shave it because when you watch lawyers on TV, they don't have beards. Neither do I.

The producers were like, no, we love your beard. So now all of a sudden I have a beard. I mean, it was kind of by mistake, but I've fallen in love with it. I think the character that I play, Stuart Lane, I would hate to see him without a beard. He'd look like a thumb. As a man who has a beard and looks like a thumb without one i can attest that yes even i've got mine short at the moment and i'm like it needs to get long again i

look like a hairy based thumb they do a great job at like keeping me trimmed at work and everything i mean it's it's amazing when i have to when i have like a week of week off from work and i have to do my own beard i look like garbage like they like garbage. It's nice to go in every morning and have someone trim you up. It's the life. Once they start, they've got to keep it the same for consistency and they might be like, we're going to go back and shoot that scene again from the other episode

and it's going to start. Yeah, you've got to have the consistency. Otherwise, what are we doing? Do you like doing that? Changing up your looks for different characters? Obviously, performance-wise, you're bringing different tones but like is the look of it like the suits themselves and the beard is that something that's like important to you to finding a character yeah i think it's it's super important i want to i want to look as different as i can with each character um i don't i mean this is this is my real hair it's sorry i have blonde hair um

stands right up didn't it just does and immediately it was like hello yeah like a wave to us something about mary what do you use to keep that it's sort of conan o'brien meets something about mary yeah yeah but but like when you you know you were mentioning eugene on the walking dead yeah i had like long It's so stiff. Conan O'Brien made something about Mary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, when you were mentioning Eugene on The Walking Dead, yeah, I had, like, long black hair. It's like I like to do something that will then separate me, Josh, from the characters and have something else so that when I, you know, I can shave this when I'm done with Suits L.A.,

hopefully in, like, eight years, and then do The Walking Dead. You know what I mean? Famously, our show's always go. know what I mean? He's manifesting. He's manifesting. I'm throwing it out into the universe. Yes. How much this suits is different from the suits the previous suits that were set in New York that's

set in LA. There's like an entertainment law. How many of the storylines have an anchor in something that someone has actually experienced in Los Angeles with entertainment law? Oh, that's a great question, actually. Looking at the diversity of your cast, you've got like the young people,

but you've also got like Victoria Justice is in there. So she's, you know, been coming up through Hollywood. You have been involved for a while. You've got one of the Amel brothers. Personally, I'm a Robbie man myself, but sure you have, Stephen. All of these people have experienced all of this different, the different facets of Hollywood. So surely, you know, the writers were like, guys got any sweet, juicy golf we can write into a story line?

Yeah. I mean, all our writers on Suits LA came from the original show Suits as well. And they've been in the business for a long time. Everything that they're throwing out for storylines, I'm reading, I'm not, I'm reading it, not thinking like, what is this?

This doesn't make sense. It, all this stuff happens all the time. And it gets a little crazy in the first season. Like there's some things that are going to happen that I'm sure people will be like, surely this doesn't work this way in LA and in Hollywood, but that's exactly how it works.

And that's, what's kind of fun is to be able to make fun of a lot of the things that, that take place in the entertainment industry. I will say this, the Amel used to call them the Amel brothers, their cousins. I think I always thought they were brothers. That's not fair.

I like all my attractive people with the same name to be from the immediate family. I don't need to know that the extended family is that attractive. Yeah, how many of them are there? I mean, it's, yeah, that jawline that they have. Yeah, dude, now I'm thinking of the extended family Christmas and it's just this house of extremely good looking jawlines and I'm like, ah, goddammit,

I didn't need to know that. I can't rock out with this soft thing. Nah. You know what I mean? That's why we grow beards, right? Hide the I mean? That's why we grow beards, right? Hide the softness. That's why we grow beards, to hide it. Yeah. This is my jawline right here. Yeah.

That's the thing, because when I shaved mine from long to short, I was like, oh no, half of my face has disappeared. Lost the... If only I could and people wouldn't comment on it. I mean, I can. You can. But I'm removing it constantly. But people...

Don't sell yourself short. I'd love to see you with the beard. Thank you so much. I needed someone to believe in me like that. I appreciate that. Also, I've got to ask, you've got a role coming up in the next season of Righteous Gemstones, one of my favourite TV shows.

Which we love. Can you tell us, I know we're not here to talk about that and we're probably going to get in trouble like we did the time we talked about the house plant. We're bad boys. We're the bad guys. Was that so much fun uh with your involvement and a show that from the outside just looks like the most raucous time it was a dream uh it's a show that i've been trying to get on for a long time because i got um i mean you're a fan that uh keith and kelvin yep uh

tommy cavallaro and adam devine are good friends of mine we came up in the comedy world together here in los angeles and uh i was like so jealous that they got to go to work with each other every day and so it's a show that i've been trying to get on trying to get on and so it finally worked out and i don't want to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen it because i don't know when it airs in New Zealand. It just aired here in the US and it was a dream. Danny McBride directed the episode. Working with him was a treat. I'm upset that I'm doing Suits LA because I just want to go work on other stuff with Danny right now. Man, you're smashing it. I hope you enjoy it.

Yeah. I love it. You're just smashing it, dude. You're everywhere and doing a great job. So well done. Can't wait to continue. Thank you. Thanks so much for joining us, Josh. Really love it. You're just smashing it, dude. You're everywhere and doing a great job, so well done. Can't wait to continue. Thank you. Yeah, thanks so much for joining us, Josh. Really appreciate it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Dudes, my kings, please, from a man that's been there, take the leap, shave your head, you'll never look back. Let it go, let it go. Yes, previously, Vaughan. This is what worries me. This is the thing. I mean, I love a bald man, and I know that some people are self-conscious about it,

but you're like, once it gets to a point, you're better to let it go. Yeah. That's always the vibe. But then some people don't have a good head when it's shaved. Yeah, I know, exactly. That's the other thing. people don't have a good head when it's shaved. Yeah, I know. Exactly. It's the other thing.

They don't have a good head when the hair is being brushed forward or sideways to cover it either. But I think in general, the vibe has been like a deeply, deeply receding hairline. You're better to get the chop, you know, than kind of keep it going. But now people are like, the receding hairline is officially the sexiest thing we can see on television at the moment thanks to walton goggins from white lotus because one i mean he's been doing some marketing recently his he has a rig like he is just super he's a great actor yeah he's so good phenomenally phenomenal they're calling it the Walton Goggins effect. Women are now going, let it recede. Yeah, I get the receding, but also he's doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

Yes, exactly. He's got a great face. He's very talented. He's charming on this show. Because he is a TV and movie star, he's got that aura. Yeah, exactly. Which, you know, no one else has that. Jackets are a great example. You see someone wearing a cool jacket and you're like, man, no one else has that. It's like jackets. Jackets are a great example.

You see someone wearing a cool jacket and you're like, man, that's a cool jacket. I wouldn't think I could wear that jacket. And then you get the jacket and you put it on and you're like, dumbest jacket ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did this end up looking so lame on me? Listen to this.

So the Telegraph, very respected publication, the headline, receding hairlines now have sex appeal. And one Redditor says in response to this article, I love Walton so much. He's half forehead, half teeth, and yet it works. He's got those big like massive. Quite an underhanded compliment there. The man is hot.

Walton Goggins somehow balding in the most handsome way possible. Scientifically speaking, Walton Goggins is the hottest weird weird-looking guy or the weirdest-looking hot guy that ever lived. But he's had that hairline forever. He has, yeah. Right, because when he was in the Shield. In the Shield, you're going right back. Yeah. Justified, like, 15 years ago, he had that hairline.

I think that's just his hairline stopped there. People are saying it's less about the locks, it's his riz. Like, he's got big riz. Yeah. Well, well the final episode of White Lotus is out 4 o'clock New Zealand time on Neon. Another take, sorry the fact that he's embracing it rather than

hiding it also adds to the attractiveness because he combs it back. And you say there's no like pulling it forward to cover the thing. He is hot. I would. 100%. Would you? Yeah. Not my type. I don't know. It's the riz. He's riz'd me. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. I would. 100% again. Would you? Yeah. Not my type. I don't know. It's the Riz. He's Riz'd me. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley.

The headline. The headline. Mother in shock as she catches her toddler eating his grandfather's ashes in viral video. I was mortified. Oh my God. When your son eats your dad's ashes. My son has eaten my dad's ashes. And it's all over his face.

When your son eats your dad's ashes. And it shows the urn that the ashes were in, and it kind of does look like a lolly jar, but it doesn't look like a traditional sort of urn. He's obviously gone for a look, and it's fallen over him, right? Yeah, far out. When your son eats your dad's ashes. Because that's the thing, a lot of people have an urn on display, right? So it can be knocked over by the cat.

Yeah, but they're supposed to be sealed. Like most places now, they really can't. It's not like, you know, in the movies, it's just like a little china vase with a little loose lid. They're sealed. No. Baby's got the ashes all over his mouth. Daughter, when your son eats, your dad...

Oh, he's eating me dad's ashes. You'd hope that dad would find it funny. Oh, honestly, I mean, I'm not getting cremated, but I would love to be. You know, this is a great sort of legacy to be eaten like that. This is a funny chapter of my life that would continue after I was dead.

One last gag. Yeah. One last gag. I don't have any ashes in my house. I don't, we don't. We've got the dog's ashes. Yeah. Lulu, our dog.

Yeah. She just buried our cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite the pet cemetery under that tree. Yeah. But we've got those ashes and yeah, we spread some of them, but that went pretty flawlessly. I hear horror stories

of people going out in a boat or going to the beach and the wind blows. The shoreline, eh? And they go like that and it's just boom. Straight back in the face. Always run a test. Well, mostly it's an offshore breeze. Most of the time the wind is blowing that way, so definitely lick a finger before the ashes. Get that up in the air is blowing that way so, you know, definitely lick a finger

before the ashes. Get that up in the air and see which way the wind's going. This is what we want to know this morning. Give us a call. 0800-DARLES-AT-M

9696 to text us. Oh God. What went wrong with the ashes? They're already in. My daughter was the first to sprinkle her nana's ashes. We did not factor in wind and blowback.

She got a mouthful of nana. Apparently nana was salty AF. Salty nana. Salty nana. We're talking about when the ashes, something went wrong with the ashes. Great stories coming in. So many.

We scattered my auntie's ashes in her favourite place. We trooped up to the top of a heading to do it. There were 15 of us, including a six-month-old strapped to my chest, facing me and two three-year-olds. The three-year-olds joined in until the wind picked up and was whipping the ashes, not one way in particular, but in a tornado around us.

Oh, kind of ghostly. Yeah, we all walked down to screams of, Mummy, I've got Auntie Al in my eyes. Granddad did not want to go. When we decided to spread his ashes, we couldn't get the box open. We had to get Dad's power tools. Using multiple tools, eventually a battery-powered

saw got it open, but typical of that stubborn old bugger. Wouldn't go anywhere. Could you just put the whole box out to sea, maybe? No, that's littering. The fish. Well, the fish could use that as a small home, a getaway, a man shed. But the lid

is stuck on. Yeah, maybe not. No, it's useless to them then. It would probably float. My friend's dad deliberately snorted some ashes at a scattering ceremony. He was a very unhinged kind of person, so it was kind of on brand. At least the deceased person would have found it hilarious. We all agreed.

Oh, no. You don't want to be putting that up there. I had my best friend in his cremation box for a sleepover and sort of rolled over in the bed, and the box sort of shook, and then it rattled inside and gave me a fright. So I had my best friend in his cremation box for a sleepover and sort of rolled over in the bed and the box sort of shook and then it rattled inside and gave me a fright. So I faced on my friend. I was like, oh my God, listen, what the hell? And we picked it up and tilted it and it rattled. And my friend was like, oh no, don't worry about that. It's probably just the teeth rolling around. But that's not right because don't they? No, don't they go? I think that when they put them

into the box, all the extra little bits and bobs, get rid of that. This might be morbid, but I'm fairly sure I was told that you go into the barbecue and you're slow roasted. It's actually quite fast. It's more of a sear, more of a hard sear. But they grind it up, right? I don't know. Because then your bones and stuff go a bit morear. But they grind it up, right? I don't know.

Because then your bones and stuff go a bit. It's very morbid, Vaughan. It's just life, mate. Oh my God. Someone said my sister passed away, which I'm very sorry to hear. And some of the mates she used to hang out with got on the piss one day. They went to the funeral home, said they were the brother and sister, and collected her ashes, then stole her.

A lot of fun figuring that out and getting her back to us. Hee hee, fun times lol. What? So you turn up to get the ashes and they're like, they've already been collected by family. They were just taking her out for one last party. Just took her out for a little party and a vibe. Somebody said their mate died and their family were like, well we want to give some ashes

to his friend group and we all got the ashes mixed with paint and got painting on our car. with his ashes mixed in. Different paint. You've got to keep that car though, right? Yeah, I'd put it on canvas. Sell a skyline or something. It's not going to be a smooth finish though, is it?

Gritty. Gritty. Gritty paint job. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, the movie Death of a Unicorn is out April 10. That's this Thursday. You can get your tickets now.

Stars Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega. And that's who we've got on Zoom right now. Hi, Paul. Hi, Jenna. Hi, Hayley. Lovely to have you guys. Do you know, actually, we have been given by the publicity company, they have given your names phonetically to me,

but in a New Zealand accent, it's Gina Ortizia, and I've got pal Rudd. Now, am I saying that correctly? I don't think he looks that pale. Okay. I just was working. I know, Jenna, I love that you call her Gina.

You've spent time in New Zealand and have worked with many people from New Zealand. I have recently, and one of my favorite things was in the morning in the trailer, in the makeup trailer, they say did you eat your eggs?

Eggs? Eggs. Did you eat your eggs? That's gorgeous George. Gina, well I'll jump to that because you were just on Colby just talking about how much you love New Zealand, right? I mean, thank you for the shout out. We're just down at the bottom of the earth.

Kind of happily forgotten about most of the time. But any plans for a relocation? Oh my God, I wish. I wish. I wish my job didn't take me everywhere. I wish that if my job consistently took me somewhere, it would be New Zealand. I also think I've worked in New Zealand twice now,

so I feel like maybe I've got some weird connection with you guys because a lot of people I know haven't even been there. What about you, when were you uh sorry pal when were you uh last in new zealand a few weeks ago i was in auckland on my way to the gold coast and i would have liked to have stayed a little bit longer because i was just at the airport but it was only like two weeks ago oh my god we didn't even know this it's a great airport yeah but it was only like two weeks ago. Oh my God, we didn't even know this. It's a great airport. Yeah, but it was really, there was a connection. It was a flight connection.

I can tell you all about the airport. Please don't. I mean, there's not really much about the airport. I want to talk about the film because I was lucky to see it and I didn't really know what I was going into when I was watching it. And I have to say, I left not really knowing what the hell I had just seen. Do we feel like the writer and director, Alex, had maybe had a little bit of acid or something? It was a complete trip.

Honestly, I think he just is a trip himself. And I mean that in like the sweetest, kindest way possible. He's just bizarre. I don't know who directs something for the first time and decides that it's gonna be a unicorn film that's unheard of. And for that, I think that takes a trippy person.

We were just talking not that long ago and he said that when he had this idea for this film, the thing that he thought about was the first scene, which is a father and daughter driving late to something and having kind of a somewhat banal conversation and then just out of nowhere hitting a baby unicorn. Yeah, of course. It all stems from that. Yeah, my mind automatically goes there most of the time as well. Gina, can I just say on behalf of all young gothy emo kids that

grew up, you represent us very well. I was a weird goth for many years, then I was an emo. In your life, were you, did you go through a goth phase, Gina? No, my, I feel like I was an emo in your life were you did you go through a goth phase Jenna no my I feel like I was just a late bloomer in every aspect of my life um so I didn't go through my honestly I started turning a bit more gothic or drawn to those things I want to say by the time I was like finishing high school I also was doing a Disney show when I was younger. My environment was not that. And then I think when I was working so consistently as a kid, fortunately, but when I finally had a break was when I realized how scary it is to be a person on this planet. And I think that that transformed a lot of my tastes and

experiences. And then also I'm not method in any way, shape, or form. But sometimes when you're working on a job, especially for that much time, it kind of can't help but seep into your personal life. And I feel like ever since I've done that role, it's kind of turned me into a different person. But I have such immense respect for goth culture. Paul, did you go through a goth phase?

Surely you rocked a few petticoats at some point, some fingerless gloves. I never went through a goth phase, really. I mean, I liked some of the music that I think could probably be considered goth. And I definitely had friends that were goth and kind of got where they were coming from. I wasn't so kind of like moody in that way.

I got on, I was goth adjacent where I was much more kind of new wavy, keyboardy kind of bleached top of my hair and then a rat tail, like a Howard Jones kind of thing. Oh gosh. Which I didn't have, by the way, because my mom wouldn't let me.

But I was more about kind of like, yeah, I was goth adjacent. Yeah, I love that. I feel like if we were in high school together, the three of us, we would have been friends. Guys, I'm out of time, but I absolutely love the film. You guys are fantastic, two of my favorite actors. So thanks for chatting with me this morning. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

If you missed the show on Friday, I really reckon it's worth a podcast visit because we were celebrating Fletch and Vaughan and Hayley. If you missed the show on Friday, I really reckon it's worth a podcast visit because we were celebrating Fletch and Vaughan 21 years working together. And it was quite a party that we had here on the Friday that we thought, let's continue celebrating on Saturday. Why not? Well, Saturday was the actual 21st day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Fletch suggested a lunch with the three of us and our lovely friend James, who also was moving overseas. So it all kind of coincided. But on the Friday, as we were finishing the show, and by the way, at this point, we had each eaten our body weight in Shannon's lolly cake.

So there was not room for more sweets and treats. In fact, Fletch, which you could see the whole show, and he was like, I'm having a crash. I actually had a really bad sugar crash because I don't eat a lot of sugar. Yeah. And when I do, it really shows you what sugar does to your body. You crashed. But then just towards the end of the show, a beautiful cake shows up.

And if you know the bakery Bluebells, it's just one of the best. Dense, stunning cakes. Dense, beautiful cakes. And if you know the bakery Bluebells, it's just one of the best. Stunning. Dense, stunning cakes. Beautiful cakes. It was one of their classic lemon and strawberry ones, right? It was just, or raspberry, lemon raspberry. It's like this kind of medium in size and it had a big happy anniversary thing on it. And it was from?

Z21st. Sorry, yeah, happy 21st. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was from Bogsy. Yeah, the CEO of the company. Exactly. That was nice, but we were full. We were full.

Yeah. We were full to the brim. So we said, let's take the cake to the lunch tomorrow. Yeah. And we'll have it in the restaurant. And we'll do a big, you know, bring the cake. Sing a song. What do they call it?

Because it's corkage cakeage. Cakeage. Cakeage. We'll pay the cakeage. Pay the cakeage. Charge cakeage. I don't know. For them to store it.

Because then when we were leaving, we were like, oh no, we never did the cake. And they said, well, hold on, we'll go get you the cake. So then we had the cake. Yeah. And we were catching the ferry and then a scooter ride to Morgan's mum's birthday. Yes. Morgan, who does Sex.Life with Hayley. Beautiful Morgan Penn.

Friend of the show. And it was her lovely mum, who we all love very much. Mama cares. It was her 70th. So we're like, what a perfect way to spend the afternoon. And we've got lovely mum, who we all love very much, Mama Kez, was her 70th. So we're like, what a perfect way to spend the afternoon. And we've got a cake. We've got a cake. So we'll take the posh cake.

We'll take the 21st thing out, lick it. Cover the hole. Cover the hole that was in it. And then arrive and be like, we bought a cake. Because otherwise we were turning up to a birthday party empty handed. We were completely empty handed. And that's a no-no. You actually licked your finger and covered up the hole where the... Filled the hole.

Yeah, the happy 21st. So they didn't say 21st and we were going to arrive and be like, Mama cares. With this posh cake in a posh suburb. We're talking pachangos. You know what I mean? Like it's a nice, it's good. I think the police were called when we were scooting through the neighbourhood. They were like, we don't know them.

Yeah. He looked sketchy. Yeah, we got off the ferry in the North Shore and it was not a walk to the house where we were going. So we found the Lime Scooters. Yeah. Unfortunately, only three. So I take one, Vaughn takes another, and lovely, big-hearted James jumps on tandem with Fletch

but also is carrying a box of Albers and said cake. And we were like, this is a disaster. Fletch, but also is carrying a box of Albers and said cake. And we were like, this is a disaster. Fletch won't slow down. He's driving in his usual breakneck speed on these baby scooters. Oh, my God. I've got a lot of hours behind the scooters, Vaughan. I'm a pro-line scooterer. You have ticked up a lot of hours.

Well, I tanned him on the way back to the ferry after the party. And also, I felt safe. And it's also the only time I get my cuddles. Twas an absolute miracle James didn't fall off on the cake, survived the trip. So then we arrive and we're like, we're going to look like the late party heroes arriving with a cake. Because we've got a posh cake. Because we've got CEO cake.

We've got CEO cake. It's still in the Blue Bows box, so people are going to know. We weren't afraid to spend a little bit of money on a cake. They're going to be like, these guys have spent money on a cake. Posh. So we walk in and we say, Morgan's in the kitchen and she meets us and we say, we have brought a cake. We've brought cake.

Yeah. And she was like, oh, you guys. Oh my God, that's so lovely. That's lovely. Put it in here with the other cake. We were like, okay. Now, you wouldn't read about it. Two cakes.

You wouldn't read about it. You couldn't even make this up. The cake that they had was exactly the same cake. The same flavour, the same icing swirl. The same bakery. The same bakery. Four. But it was the extra large version,

and we apparently had the medium. It was four inches bigger than ours. It was four inches bigger than ours. So I was like, that's cool, because having too much cake is not a problem. These two have a panic attack about playing cake shame. I'm like, I just need to go home much cake is not a problem. These two have a panic attack about the cake. I'm like, I just need to go home now. This is so embarrassing.

I'm ordering an Uber. I'm just like, this is so embarrassing. We're at these posh people's houses. We've got a tiny cake that's smaller than their big cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you're going to turn up with the cake, you have to have the cake. We're secondary cake. That's good.

It's a backup cake. We could have almost taken it. We're not number one cake. I was for taking our cake and plopping it straight on top of the other cake to make it look like a two- secondary cake. That's good. It's a backup cake. We could have almost taken our cake. No, we're not number one cake. I was for taking our cake and plopping it straight on top of the other cake to make it look like a two-tier cake. A mega cake. We should have done that. I suggested it.

I was like, plop it on top. I was like, peel the base off and plop it straight on top. But to literally be the exact same cake. The exact same cake. But bigger. And also, everyone knows ours was free. And a day old. Yeah. And a day old. Yeah.

And a day old. And it had kind of, like, mushed against the side of the box. Yeah. And I'd fingered it. It had a weird salivary drop in the middle. Did it get eaten? We left without that cake. So their cake, the primary cake that they had already sort and organised,

because of course they had. Yeah. They're relying on the late comers to bring the cake. That got eaten real good by all the party goers. Oh yeah, it was delicious cake. But our cake didn't get touched.

Why didn't our cake get touched? I thought our cake got touched. It was too much cake. Because we're secondary cake. A secondary cake. The primary cake was still being worked at. It was honestly

one of the most mortifying socials. I don't know. I couldn't look. I just had to leave. Well, when we left the party. Can Morgan bring the cake? I did think about bringing the cake. Yeah.

No, that is so bad. But the problem was the box had been thrown away, so we would have had to literally balance the cake on the hand for the return journey. But then that would have been us re-gifting a cake and then taking the cake back. Well, that's where the saying comes from. They took the cake.

And they ate it too. And they ate it too. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We each had a little burp in there. You took a breath. You had a burp. I had my mouth was full of saliva during that.

That's why I had to tip my mouth back. People always say, is the fact of the day jingle pre-recorded? No. It's live. That was a great example of how bad it can be. It's teeth week here at Fact of the Day. We're going to learn about teeth. You're on big dentist money. No, I'm not on big dentist money. Big lumino're going to learn about teeth You're on big dentist money

I'd love to be on big dentist money But they're not happy are they dentists Aren't they always one of the sadder occupations I don't know It's vets and one of the main reasons They work alone But also people just like Ignore their advice more than everybody else

Vets are like you've got to stop feeding your cat. Oh my God, they were like, oh, your cat's too fat. See, don't talk like that. That's what makes them sad. They're not. Oh, you should floss. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you need a brush.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See the sad things when people don't look after their chompers. Is that the saddest occupation? Well, I'm just, I'm having a look at some lists now. It's all just made me quite sad. All of these are like people that do an amazing job. Yeah, I know. This isn't today's set place. Social workers and

healthcare workers. Oh, the things they see. Artists, entertainers and writers. Yeah, miserable. It's because we're so desperate for attention. That's why we got to this job. Well, today's tooth based fact of the day isn't about human teeth. It's about beaver's teeth. Beaver's teeth. Have you ever seenavers' teeth. Beavers' teeth.

Have you ever seen a beaver's teeth? No, but I imagine they're sharp because they're always gnawing down trees and building dams. Correct. Correct. They are sharp. But have you ever seen what colour they are? Yellow. Orange. Orange. It was a guess. It was a guess. I guessed yellow. The wild orange colour of beavers' teeth

comes from iron in the enamel of their teeth. We have calcium-based enamel as humans. Beavers evolved to have iron-rich enamel that's much harder and more resistant to acid and wear. Ooh, that's so yucky. In the cartoons, they make them white. I know, but the real life, because it rusts effectively. Like, it's iron, it's really strong, but the upside is that it rusts and the rust coloured

tint makes their teeth orange. Yuck, I don't like it. It's also... I'm just looking at it. Yeah, it's yuck, eh? Ain't nobody want to be kissing that. Have they tried whitening strips? Have they tried Colgate Optic White? Beavis. So the iron rich enamel is mostly on the front of their

teeth and the back of the teeth is softer, so it creates like a chisel-like edge. Right. For when they're like chewing into the tree. They're actually horrendous. What's that? Yeah, they're quite horrendous. Them as an animal.

Well, their feet, their teeth would grow continuously. They've got to continually like chew things. Yep. Chew trees and stuff to wear them down because if they didn't, guess how many feet in a year their teeth would grow? Feet, by the way. I'm not talking centimetres, but I can work it out, centimetres. Three feet.

Very close. Four foot in centimetres. Oh, yuck. So in a year and a couple of months, if they didn't grind their teeth down, their teeth would be a Sabrina Carpenter. Wow, a Sabrina Carpenter hanging out the mouth. Yeah, so 122 centimetres in a year,

approximately, is how long their teeth would grow if they didn't constantly sort of grind them down on hard woods. And were some of their teeth used way back to make tools? Yeah. Okay. They could. Interesting. They could make their teeth into tools because of how strong they were.

I reckon they're yuck. I don't like them. Add them on the list With platypuses for me You can get beaver teeth earrings Oh yuck Oh and they're orange Oh my god

She said something That was going to be Her birthday present Some beaver teeth earrings Oh no If you guys got me that Then that would be nice That would be nice

They'd be polished up Yeah yeah okay That'd be real nice Lovely Some beaver teeth earrings Nice okay She's like ooh But like her home's full of taxidermy And like gross things Yeah, okay. That'd be real nice. Lovely. Some beaver tooth earrings. Nice, okay. She's like, ooh, but her home's full of taxidermy and gross things. I'd have a beaver.

A beaver would be a great taxidermy. I'd have a taxidermy beaver. With the teeth. That'd be funny. Yeah, and the tail. Yeah. It's a weird little cute little animal, the old beaver. So today's fact of the day is if you ever see a beaver's teeth

and wonder why they're orange, it's because of the iron that makes up a lot of their enamel. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. A couple were removing the protective screen on their TV, their new TV, lovely new TV. That feels good. You got it all set up. You're like, it's safe now.

Yeah. Remove, peel off the protective screen. Yeah. Well, they pulled it and they were like, that seems to be crunching a little bit And The whole The whole screen Came off The whole

Like cover of the screen Yeah I've heard Some of these TVs You've got to be very careful Because you're actually Peeling off the screen Oh god Because they're so

They're quite thin now They're so thin Yeah and it's got The protective thing That is literally Film A film A glad wrap depth Yeah They get it's got the protective thing that is literally a film, a glad wrap depth.

They get a finger under the corner and they go, oh, yeah, that's good, but they're peeling off the actual cover of the screen. Yeah, I'm just peeling off my phone thing now. Do you have a phone protector? Yeah, and it's all shattered anyway, so I'm pulling it off. We'll put it right up to the microphone and pull it off. Hang on. Ooh.

It's cracking. It doesn't feel a second. Oh, because it's glass or plastic? It's glass. Yeah, that's not. It's going to get in my fingers. Ow. This wasn't nearly as good as I wanted it to be.

Nah, now you've got to have some half on, half off. Nah, look at that. Yeah, that just looks terrible. Oh, well, stuffed up there. Sorry. God, that is devastating that you've just bought this thing and you've already ruined it. Like, what's insurance on that?

I guess if it's in your house and you've got house and contents, right? It would be, yeah, part of that. I would buy insurance. Or could you take it back and be like, um... It wasn't clear. It wasn't clear. I pulled it off, but the whole thing came off.

Look, I'm an idiot, but this wasn't clear. Kind of feels like a you thing now. Is there a way that we can make this a you thing? Yeah, it was crunching, and I realised at the start it was crunching, but I just thought, it's 2025. These things might crunch now. What was the new iPhone?

It was that amazing video that woman had lined up for days and days, and she was like, new iPhone, opened the box and it dropped on the ground, and everyone was just like, this is the video we wanted. Yeah. It was so perfect. People who buy flash cars and dickhead on the way home. Oh, yeah.

You see videos of that. Pulling out a bloody Ferrari and they're like, and you don't know how to drive it. You're like, oh, dude. Crash. Dude. This is what we want to know this morning. 0800 dials at M.

You can text her at 9696. I love this. What did you break immediately after buying it? A couple have gone viral for peeling off the screen of their brand new flat screen TV. Thinking it was the protective seal. And apparently not the only one. People listening have done the same thing. Somebody said, yeah, $6,000 television.

Recently, I pulled the screen off it and the whole screen came off. I was like, that's not right. But the place was really understanding. Replaced it. Oh, wow. That's the place they purchased it from. Apparently, it's a thing a lot of people are doing. Yeah.

Because the TVs are so thin now. Yeah, yeah, totally. You've got to be careful. Jennifer, Jennifer, when did you break something right after buying it? Well, we hadn't actually even bought it and I broke it. What was it? A car. Oh, no.

What was it? We were on a test drive Test drive Oh, Jennifer Was it a test drive? I'm going to paint you the picture Okay I'm going to paint you the picture

Okay So, my partner always wanted a sports car This particular sports car Always, always, always So, finally he found one private deal Went and picked it up from this guy, bought it over, driving it, took it to a panel beater

because there was just like a few little stone chips in the front of it that, you know, wasn't perfect. And then on the way back, because we lived on the shore in Auckland, so we had to go over the Auckland Harbour Bridge to take it back to the guy to negotiate on the price. Yep. He said, you've got to drive it because you're going to be driving it.

And I'm going, okay, that's cool. I'll do a little test drive. So over we went to the Auckland Harbour Bridge, and I was, you know, put speed on to get up the bridge. Well, it's a hell. It's a hell. It's a hell, Jennifer. Oh, you just cut out, Jennifer.

She's done it again. Go, go. No, Jennifer, you're cutting out that and we're right at the crux of the story. She's going up the hill. She's put her foot down. Oh, my God. Oh, she's bonked. No! No, Jennifer! She crashed! Okay, we're going to have to

come back next and get Jennifer back on the line. I must know. Because we must know there was speed up the bridge. She put my foot down. Maybe it's a nose to tail. Maybe she's hit the barrier. I don't know. We're going to find out next.

God, Jennifer. We're talking about what you wrecked immediately when you got it. Brand new. Just bought it and then wrecked it. Well, we were cut off mid-story. She joins us. Jennifer, good morning again. So sorry about that, guys.

I was driving. Yeah, no, that's... I mean, that may be an issue. You are about to tell us about how your car crash ended. Wait, so your foot's gone down. We're ramping up to get over the Harbour Bridge in the car that you're giving a test drive. Exactly.

So then there were these cars in front of me and like one just pulled out and switched lanes. And I was trying to brake. I had my foot down on the brake, trying to brake, smashed straight into the back of him on the Auckland Harbour Bridge. Okay. Okay. Coffee arrived, blah, blah, blah. I had to get it towed because I said there was something wrong. There's obviously something wrong with the brakes.

It was faulty. Yeah. So we had to turn up at this guy's house to let him know, A, we've got to buy the car. Yeah. B, you're not getting it back because it's been impounded by the police because we've been in an accident. And then not only that, we had no insurance,

so we had to pay for the other car repairs. Oh! That's what I was going to say, because if you go to, like, a car dealer, they've got insurance for that, right? That's what I thought when you were test driving. I was like, you'll be all right, but no. No.

How much did that end up costing? Lots. A lot of money. We don't talk about it. Do you still have the car? Did you get it all fixed? Brakes fixed? Yes, we did.

We loved it. It was a little MX-5, and we stood it around it forever. Mate, how good are they? That was fun. Yeah, until we had kids, and then, of course, that just showed up back door. Well, you could fit one in the boot. Yeah, the boot's a little tiny.

One in the boot. You stack the kids right. You get two in there. You stack them. You just got to stack the boat. Yeah, the boat's a little... One in the boat. You stack the kids around two in the boat. You stack them. You just gotta stack them right. Jennifer, thank you. So many messages. And when did you break it right after you bought it? My husband smashed into a concrete post

driving his brand new Maserati from a showroom. Had to be towed away. Don't feel sorry for him. A Maserati! I didn't even know they were, like, real. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I opened a pair of beautiful earrings for my husband a few Christmases ago

and never saw them again. He searched everywhere, every piece of wrapping paper, the furniture kit stuff, no more earrings for me, forever living up to. This is why we can't have nice things. Oh. If the husband, I'll tell you what, it was a great trick from the husband.

If he opened them, the earrings were in there, and then when you weren't looking, took the earrings, made you think you'd lost them, take them back to the store, got the refund, put them in his pocket. Yeah. It's called gaslighting. It is an essential part to any healthy relationship.

Look it up. It's very popular. Babe, remember you love gaslighting. Do I? Yeah, remember you told me last week you love gaslighting. You probably don't remember because we were drinking on Saturday, but you said I love being gaslit. Yeah, yeah, you do.

I don't remember. No, you did. Why am I? Yeah, I know you do. You definitely did. Toxic behaviour. Okay? Toxic behaviour.

Huh. I used to install TVs and it's usually, it's actually user error because when you pull off this protective film on your TV, it shouldn't crunch. Yeah. No, yeah. Yeah. Also, someone has messaged in pontificating

that Jennifer could be Damien 2.0. You know? It wasn't pontificating. We're out of time. We felt it. We definitely felt that too. Yeah. Got a new TV.

My eight-year-old son threw a tiny toy across the room and hit the TV and shattered the whole screen Now what year was this? Before or after Sue Bradford Made it illegal to smack your kids It's just got big smack energy doesn't it Someone said are you Are they gaslighting you into thinking that you admitted that you like gaslighting

That is exactly what's happening No, no that's not what has happening Remember? Oh it's layered. There's so much gaslighting. I can't keep up. I don't even know who I am anymore. Gaslight the gaslighting.

Oh, wow. The lovely Georgia Bertson, and you've, what are these that we've been eating? Guava, little guava berries. I've never had guava berries before. That's so good, man. How many, do you not have birds in your neighbourhood?

No, we do. This is the thing, they don't go anywhere near it That's so good, man. How many of you do not have birds in your neighbourhood? No, we do. This is the thing. They don't go anywhere near it. Antioxidants. Antioxidants. Yeah, they are dropping like flies, honestly. Oh, bring me more. I will tomorrow.

I've been eating them all morning. Enjoy the toilet this afternoon, I feel. How many have you had? That was full when I came in. It was pretty full. And I've got to remember, I ate these. These are bright red. You know, sometimes if you figure you ate

something with a bit of red then you take a drink you're like how seedy are they because they're quite seedy they're seeds and I like seeds you love gaslighting

do I yeah this is this is some layered gaslighting I can't keep up with all the gaslighting I don't even know anymore no you remember you said

you could keep up with the gaslighting Georgia he's doing it to you he's doing it to you you said I trust you've worn to take care of the gaslighting, Georgia? He's doing it to you. He's doing it to you. No, you said, I trust you've warned to take care of the gaslighting. I remember this.

I don't want this to happen. I do now that he says it. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too.

All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Or f*** off.