ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - April 9th, 2025

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod; The new hangout spot for Gen Z Top 6 - Things people will watch in Wellington Big news for Hamilton SLP - Do you go to gigs alone? Hayley's mum has set an alarm How many friends should adults have What's ya hobby? Hayley was almost the reason for a dogs demise What did you wrongly assume as a kid/ BIG BIG ANOUNCMENT What should Fletch do with his huge tax refund? Human VS AI love story Fact of the day Do you still not have your drivers license?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices.

Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley atop of the morning. To you sir. We're just bringing Hayley back up on the system, she's crashed, she's frozen. Yeah, the system's crashed, she wasn't driving. No, she crashed as in after a comedy show, she crashed for about an hour and a half sleep, but she will be joining us on the show this morning.

And then napping post-show. And immediately after. Yeah, because what it's like, four o'clock there at the moment. I think what professionals say is that she's burning the candle at both ends, but she's also decided to light it in the middle as well. Guys, that was on your end, not mine, darlings.

Yeah, we know. Yeah, we're gonna miss you We're gonna dicky system Do you know Honestly in that 30 seconds I was gone I missed you dearly Did you?

Yeah I wish I could say the same I burst into tears We barely noticed Sorry Now on the show At 8 o'clock this morning We have a big concert announcement

This is an announcement How much can we say here? It's not It's not a New Zealand It's not a New Zealand. It's not a New Zealand announcement. It's a pretty exciting chance for you to win as well with this announcement. So 8 o'clock. Listen.

Listen. I won't say any more because I'll give it away. Shut up. You shut up. Listen here. 8 o'clock. Make sure you're listening. The top six is very soon.

Yes. A man folded a fitted sheet in front of thousands in Wellington. This is a comedian who's been promoting the folding of the fitted sheet for a little while. Right. And had an amazing turnout. I love

this. People just like die for. Because there is a way to fold it, isn't there? There is. Kind of half crunch, scrunch it up. And shove it in the pillow. It's all about the corners. The corners. You've got to like corner over corner. Right.

You know? Yeah. Not for me. Or just ball it. Ball it. I've got the top six things Wellington people will watch someone do next. Apparently they must be very bored down there. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley.

Okay. If the three of us were like, we want to hang out together, just catch up as pals, what would we be like? Meet at the pub? Meet at the bar? Well, last Saturday we had a lovely lunch and then a couple of drinks, didn't we? Yeah. In the sun.

It was nice. Yeah. One or two beverages were shared. Well, apparently Gen Z, they're not doing it. They're not going to the pubs because we've talked about this a bit, right? They're not drinking as heavily as part of socialising. Apparently they're not hitting the pubs. They're going to the saunas.

The saunas? Yeah. Well, there's lots of types of saunas actually, Fletch. But the ones that I'm referring to for Gen Z is just your classic Finnish, as in from Finland, saunas. Like a hot sauna. We've got saunas at our gym and they're very popular. I might in winter but

I'd rather do a spa and a plunge or a cold pool. There's always someone drying their undies in the female sauna. What? Really? Sometimes you'll get in there and you'll see someone who's like laid out their underwear.

This is not a personal dryer. No, you've got to put them in the Dyson hand dryer. Yeah, run them around under the hand dryer. We've all spilt water on our t-shirt and we're like drying it in the hand dryer. If you did that with your undies,

are you a bit of a crotchy waft coming from the Dyson? I don't want that. How long can people possibly hang out in a sauna for though? Because that's the thing. You're not supposed to stay in there for ages, are you? No. So there's like a number of saunas, like professional sauna places in New Zealand as well.

Right. That, you know, we go there specifically to sauna. And they were saying they've had a huge rise in Gen Z people. Hanging. Who are just hanging out in there. And so because they're going like, well, they're not really interested in drinking a lot. They want to have the benefits of, you know, the sauna,

the physical and the mental benefits, plus they're cramming in some socialising in it. Right. But you're only supposed to stay in for like 10 minutes. Yeah, 15 to 30 minutes I'm reading here is the general rule. Well, yeah, but you obviously shower when you come out and you can have a bit of chill time and then go back in. So it's not like 15 minutes and then you're done. You can keep going. I don't want to do it.

Right. Is it because of the rise of wellness podcasts and, you know, the I guess there's, you know, a lot of research that's really good for you. Shame on this generation taking care of themselves. Actually, I know. Do you know what? Have a drink. Do some shots. Do some shots and smoke some cigarettes like we did.

There was another story yesterday that Bubbles, I think it was out of the UK, the sales of champagne and Prosecco and all of that, down 25%. And they literally blame Gen Z. Really? I am doing my damn best. They can't keep

putting these demands on me as an individual to try and keep the Prosecco industry bubbling. It's 11 past 6, the top 6 is next on the show. Yeah, the top 6 things Wellington people will gather to watch next after they watched a man, in their droves

they watched a man fold a fitted sheet. Big crowds yesterday. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. A comedian called Dan Boreman arrived in Wellington, and on Monday afternoon in front of a crowd on Cuba Street, he folded a fitted sheet. And there were so many people there.

Yeah. It was to promote his upcoming New Zealand International Comedy Festival show titled Dan Bowman Folds a Fitted Sheet on his own. It's a whole show just that.

Hmm? Does he just do fitted sheets over and over again? Oh, I don't know if he just does it over and over again. Right. I mean, it's different. It's nice.

I mean, I tell you what, he's got me hooked because, you know, I'm terrible at folding a fitted sheet. I just chuck it in the drawer. Shove it in. So he's got a bit of an online following and it had, somebody said it had one of those, it had a Fred again vibe. Remember when Fred again came and everyone went crazy for Fred again? Yes.

Dude, you got any Fred again tickets? Dude, I don't even know if Fred again is. Is he the Michael Finnegan who grew a hair upon his Fred again? Yes. Dude, you got any Fred again tickets? Dude, I don't even know if Fred again is. Is he the Michael Finnegan who grew a hair upon his chin again? I don't know. Well, I've got the top six things that Wellington will gather to watch people do next. If they like household, difficult household chores. Yep. They will totally, number six on the list, gather around to watch someone do a perfect load of whites,

then colours, then towels. Oh, okay. Gorgeous. I just do everything together. I know you do. I'm so bad at the whites. Do you know what I mean? I'm, I love, you know, I got it from my mother.

I actually really enjoy doing the washing. Like making, you know, an undies and socks load and then just giving it a little more heat. Just to make it not a cold water, just a little bit warmer because it's socks and undies and this is where bacteria gathers. Then I take my t-shirts.

I give them an assessment. I could do some spot stain removal. Yeah, I don't know. Get them in there. Then I'll do a heavy wash. You're faffing around too much. A lot of faffing around and then I'll do a towel.

A lot of faff. Separate load for the sheets, the whites, absolutely, but chuck everything else in together Separate load for the sheets, the whites, absolutely, but chuck everything else in together. Wait, but the towels, you don't wash towels with the clothes, right?

Yeah, I do. You wash towels with the clothes? Yeah, he does. Not initially when I buy them, but once they've got rid of all the fluff. Yeah, because you're just wasting water and electricity

and this guy is screwing the planet. No, but my washing machine only adds as much water as it needs. Yeah, but still, you're doing extra loads. Shut up.

With your water sticker. Peel your water sticker off, too. Yeah, have some respect. I'm trying to hang out the washing. I always put the matching socks right next to each other with the same coloured pick. Oh, I couldn't be bothered. Oh, grow up.

I think you need a diagnosis of something. Nah. Yeah, I think laundry might be your special interest, hon. I'll whack you. Number five on the list of the top six things Wellingtonians will gather to watch people do next if they like watching them do difficult house chores, poach the perfect egg.

Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'd crowd around to see that. I feel like I'm quite good in the kitchen, but poaching eggs I've never nailed, ever. Really? You put a little bit of vinegar in and... I like doing it that way.

Just the tiniest bit of vinegar because if you go too vinegary, it goes too rubbery. You do the old tornado. If you're doing multiple ones, you dump them all in at once. The water's got to be boiling when it hits because it'll lose its boil and then you just watch.

Yeah, beautiful. Don't leave them. I've said it before about the time that Aaron poached me eggs, and we didn't have any vinegar, so we put balsamic in. Tangy. So tangy.

And did it add a sort of a brown sort of a vibe to the egg? Yeah. Yeah, cool. Brown as. Yep, that's yeah. Number four on the list

of the top six things Wellingtonians will gather around to watch people do next if they like watching comedians do hard chores. Iron a pleated skirt. Oh. You imagine that's hard. Yeah. I always remember that. I've worn many a

kilt before. A lot of ironing goes into those pleats. Yeah, yeah. Pleats are hard. I remember my Nana used to be in charge of the netball team's uniforms. Didn't know why she was in charge. Get a Kmart steamer. Oh, you would. You'd steam now. You'd simply steam. Number three on the list of the top six things Wellingtonians will gather to watch a comedian do next if they like watching them do house chores.

Clean around the base of the toilet is number three. Oh, no one ever does that. Nah. Get in right round the back. Get round that little doodly doodly doot there. Get right in there. Dust in there. That's nice.

That's a once every now and again job. Yeah. Yeah. Ladies, if you go around to a man's house and he's cleaned around the base of the toilet, he really likes you and would quite like to have sex with you, I think. That means he wants to have sex.

If he's cleaned around the base of the toilet and you look and you notice and you say, I see he cleaned around the base of the toilet, then of course, you make love. I think that's a great way of knowing if someone's into you. Yeah. Are they cleaning around the base of their toilet?

And lads, listening. If this hasn't occurred to you clean around the base of the toilet. Because if you guys are coming over to my house and I'm hosting I'm not going to clean around the base of my toilet.

No way. It's just you guys. It's just you guys. But if someone else is coming around I'll clean around the base of the toilet. And that means

you want to shag them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Get in there and shag. Number two on the list of the top six things Wellingtonians will gather to watch comedians their next. Cleaning a window and not leaving any streaks.

Oh, yeah. Have you seen the pro window cleaners? Because when I squeegee a window, I go down real slow, and then down real slow. But they go, and they don't stop the whole window. Yeah, I think they've got a higher grade squeegee too.

Yeah. I think so. Yeah, they didn't get these from like Teemu or the supermarket or something. Yeah. They've got a nice thin, I think it's all about having a really thin tip on this. The thin blade?

Yeah, thin blade. Thin and long. Yeah, not for everybody. Sometimes that works. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

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Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes good thing. Sometimes. In this situation, it does. Sometimes. And number one on the list of the top six things Wellingtonians will gather to watch a comedian do next. If they like watching them do house chores, cleaning the shower drain and doing it properly, like getting all the hair out. Really, like making a pile, that thing where you pick it out and throw it

and then you go get some toilet paper and you pick it up and then... I flush it. It's yuck. I don't want it. I don't want it in the bin. I need that little weird hair goblin that I've just rescued from the plug to be gone.

That is today's top seven. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm very proud to now tell you, looking like a big turn of events for my home city. Yeah. My hometown, of course, is Morrinsville. But the feeder to Morrinsville feeds through to Hamilton. Okay. Hell of a place.

What a place. Hell of a place. What a place. Hell of a place. What a place. Well, it's getting a, it's kind of the deal's been signed. It's been a done deal. Break the earth, you know, smash down the old buildings.

Get ready for this, Hayley. It's big news. It's getting it. I'm excited. I'm pumped. I'm pumped. It's getting a new hotel and it's going to be 25 stories.

Wow. Which, that's unheard of for Hamilton to have that stories. Wow. Look at that. That's unheard of for Hamilton to have that. They're getting a tall building. I don't even know what currently Hamilton's. It's going to stick out like a middle finger. Do you know what?

It is. If you're flying above Hamilton, it'll look like a big middle finger with all the other little knuckle buildings around it. What's the tallest building? Hamilton's tallest and largest building is a 15-level office tower with two levels of underground parking in the central city. So, yeah, the centre place building.

Oh, this is ridiculous. Why are they doing this? They should have just, because it's going to ruin the skyline. Are they trying to make this into their own sky tower? I think they're going to cheat a little bit. What do you mean? Are they going to put a big pointy stick on the top? No, no, it's beside the river, so I think it tears down to cheat a little bit. What do you mean? Are they going to put a big pointy stick on the top? No, no, it's beside the river,

so I think it tears down the hill a little bit. So it won't be like 25 stories straight up. Oh, so you're counting from under the balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're measuring from the butthole, basically. Oh, I don't think that measurement counts. I think it does. Do you know what I mean?

It usually just goes from the bottom of the building. How many stories is it going to be from sea level, from zero? From street level? That I can't tell you. Okay, right. So that's pretty good for Hamilton, 25. Because you grew up in Wellington, Hayley, maybe you won't feel this, but when you grow up in a small town,

like growing up in New Plymouth, when you get a big building or something flash, everyone talks about it. It's pretty exciting. Yeah. I mean, for me, yeah, I'm absolutely thrilled for you that you're this fizzed about a 25-story building. I mean, it's really exciting.

It is our Burj Khalifa. It is the Hamilton Burj Khalifa. Are that many people travelling to and staying in Hamilton? It's not all hotel, though, is it? Oh, you're cruising for a prison. Is it all hotel? No, no. Apartments, hotel and entertainment.

It's a lovely spot by the river. It's going to be by the river, isn't it? I've always said as a Hamilton guy, turn around and look at that river. And then when you're looking at it and you're like, ooh, it's brown and green, then it'll put more pressure on people to clean up the river a little bit. Because now we've made it a focal point. You've got to put the cart before the horse sometimes. Because my cat water filter has little charcoal inserts.

Have they thought about charcoal inserts? A couple of charcoal inserts into the river? Well, we don't need to worry about it once it goes out to sea. But we could chuck a couple of charcoal inserts, maybe Cambridge. I've got to change them each month because the cat hair and the gunk gets in there. Yeah, and they're quite young.

What about just like blue food colouring or food dye? Do you know what I mean? So then it's... Like the Chicago River every April. St. Patrick's. They basically dye it green, don't they? Just do that. I think we also just skipped over the fact Fletcher's cat's too good for just ordinary water.

It needs a charcoal filtered water. Well, it's got a charcoal filter in the water. That's ridiculous. He's raising a branch. I'll put a clean bowl of water out for our cat and then see it outside licking a muddy puddle.

I'm like, why have you got a bowl, fool? Cats don't like the stagnant water bowls. They like it moving. He likes, he always plays with it because it's constantly moving.

Right. Rolly likes drinking his water out of like empty paint buckets. I will say, get into Animates, our show sponsor, making happy happen.

Do they have? Yeah, they do. What are they doing? It actually helps me when I'm at your house. It helps me go wheeze. It encourages me to go wheeze. Yeah, it helps me wheeze. Water bubbles.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole today is do you go to gigs alone? New research has revealed that more than a quarter of UK women, 27%, would be interested in going to gigs solo if they felt safer getting home afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously, bearing in mind, London would be a scary place after a gig at 11 o'clock at night.

There's actually a volunteer organisation called Strut Safe that can help people get home safely. Like, people volunteer to walk people home and help people get home. I mean, we all like a band. Like, all of us like a band that you've got no other friends that like them, right? Yes. And then you're like, if they came, you'd be like, of course I'm going to go. I'm going, yeah.

And you're only really in the moment by yourself, right, if you're watching a band that, like, plays... Like, there are party bands where you get absolutely boozed and you just party. But then there are, like, those bands where you just stand and listen and take it in. Like, who cares if you're doing that alone? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, 84% of people will not go to gigs alone or don't go to gigs alone. 16% of people said yes. And do you think people are, because we asked this because of this new initiative and people not feeling safe getting home after the gigs, but are you thinking that people are

answering because they don't want to be accused of being losers and loners? Or they're embarrassed to go by themselves? Doing stuff by yourself is a great pleasure. Movies by yourself or eating by yourself? I love a solo dinner date you know my favourite thing

about eating by myself versus eating with the whole family no one's taking your leftovers oh you don't get leftovers though what's that

I don't get I don't get leftovers but it also doesn't cost me $140 every single time oh yeah I don't know how you do that every single time

I just sort of you know you decided to have two kids do you know what I mean so like for me it doesn't cost that much you kind of brought this on yourself.

I know. I know, but then when I get to do it by myself and it's like $30, I'm like, man, this rules. $30 and I've had as much fun. Granted, they aren't here, but you know, catch up with them later. Yeah. Cost me nothing.

Jordan says, I've just started doing it this year because I miss out on too many things waiting on other people to decide whether or not they're going to go. Yeah. That's a great attitude to have. Steph said, does the F&V 20th anniversary live show count? I came over from Brisbane for the Auckland show and met some fab people when I was there.

Went to a rooftop bar after the show with a couple that I just met. They were the nicest. You never know who you'll meet. That's so cool. Steph. Oh, Steph. Oh, Steph. Jacinda, this is an interesting question. As I went solo to a smaller

gig this year, the lady doing the door told me that males will go solo to a gig all the time, but not many females do. Interesting. Okay. Totally a safety thing. Yeah, totally. Imogen said, gigs are too expensive now to get friends to come to people they aren't so keen on. So if I like them and they don't

like them enough to pay for the ticket, I'll go by myself. That's a good point. I'm usually the one being dragged along to these things, says Vlad. Right. Vlad! I wouldn't be dropping you know, a hundred and whatever bucks on Nah! A band I didn't really

like. No, totally. Or there's no, I just say no. I definitely have. I definitely have. I'm trying to think of... I mean, Troy Savano went to just for the vibes. You know? That was a great time. Yeah. I'm not a $140 vibe guy, you know? I just vibe at home for free.

I want people with me at gigs for the vibes, says Courtney. Some more vibe chat. We love hyping each other up, chatting about the acts, and when our favourite songs come on, you look at someone deep in the eyes and you just have a great time. I need to bounce off someone for reactions, says Tanya, so I've got to go with someone. Logan, gigs, no.

Movies, 100% yes. I'd actually prefer by myself than going with someone. Me too. Jacqueline says, only comedy gigs. You can't feel alone in a room full of laughing people. So she's saying she'll go to comedy by herself and when they're laughing it's kind of that community feel, right?

Yeah. But as a comedian I'll often spot people who are on their own and I will roast them for being little, you know, sad little losers. That's what I'll do.

And she is still selling tickets to her comedy shows, hayleysprout.com. Yep, hayleysprout.com for tickets. Come along. One or all. Yeah. Absolutely. No price benefit to buy more than one at a time.

So she'll take your money regardless. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, it's five to bloody five where I am in Melbourne. I'm here for the Comedy Fest. I opened my show last night and shout out to the bloody FVH podcast listeners that came. We love them. Oh, that's nice. Right. Did enough people turn up? Were that five people? How many were there?

I think there was a couple. I tried to count. I was like, there was two there and then there was a big empty bit and then there was three. Yeah, so five. Five people. That was good. Okay. It's kind of worth you going five. Five people. It was good. Okay. It's kind of worth you going all that way then. I think so. They were the only five there though, right?

I assume the other people came. No, it's just five. Just five. Just five people. Really? That's terrible. Yeah, and they were all podcast listeners. I don't know how you're making it.

They were probably like, oh, we're a Fletch and Vaughn. Were you saying you don't know how I'm making you money? No, no, no. I'm paying to be here. Oh, right. Okay. I'm paying to be here. Oh, right. Okay.

No, you actually, you nearly sold out last night. Yeah, there were like a hundred. No, she sold out. According to her fellow comedian, she sold out the minute she got a job in radio. No, that stings, bro. That stings. Okay. I mean, they struggle to pay rent and you own a house,

but I will say you've sold out. Okay. We've heard the ones we love the most.. We hurt the ones we love the most. So for perspective on the time schedule I'm running at the moment, I got off stage at quarter to 1am

New Zealand time. Okay. And then I've got to move all my stuff, you know, off the stage for the next comedian, you know, tomorrow. Then I had a little meeting with my producers. Then I get home. Then I'm hungry. Then I've got like the all my stuff, you know, off the stage for the next comedian, you know, tomorrow. Then I had a little meeting with my producers. Then I get home. Then I'm hungry. Then I've got like the post-show buzz.

I've had an hour 15 sleep. Totally fine. I can maintain this for a short amount of time. However, my mum is so worried about it. She was like, okay, you've got to set this alarm. You've got to do all this. And she doesn't trust me enough. So she's been setting her own alarms to get up at,

I don't know, four something New Zealand time to make sure that I'm awake. And she's going to do it. Oh, Patsy. I've got to be honest. I was a little bit worried yesterday too. I was like, because when you went back to sleep after the show, I was like, you haven't had hardly any sleep.

What if you sleep in because you're so tired, you miss your alarms? I was like, I haven't had hardly any sleep. What if you sleep in because you're so tired you miss your alarms? I was like, I was a little worried. So I'm glad Patsy's sorted that. And I'm assuming in the afternoon she rings you to wake you up from your naps too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she's got this. So there are three points. There's three points.

There's the alarm to get up for radio and then after radio go back to sleep. The alarm to get up so that I don't sleep my whole entire day away. And then there's my alarm to make sure that I haven't fallen back asleep and get to the theatre. I mean, I'm 35 years old. You sort of hope at this point you're not waking up at 4am every morning when you don't actually have to. Yeah, and your mum's still mumming you.

Honestly though, thank God. Your kids are always your kids. That's what my nana used to say. Shut up, thank God. Your kids are always your kids, that's what my nanny used to say. Shut up, nanny. Don't you dare read it to shut up. Is there anything else to say or is that just it? Was that the only thing she ever said? That was all she said.

Over and over and over. Your kids are always worried about them. You can't turn that switch off. Oh, no. You two wouldn't know because you're selfish and haven't procreated to continue. No, it's actually more selfish to have kids. This has been famously debated. No, no, no.

We'll see. We'll see when there's no working class left in 30 years because you all didn't bloody procreate and you all want support in your retirement. Then they'll be like, well, if you don't have kids to add to the tax bucket, you're the first that's getting the jab. And then they'll give you the jab. What are they going to jab us for?

Oh, they're going to put us down? Right. Okay. Oh, no. Fletch and I will be on a boat somewhere in Costa Rica having the time of our life with someone half our age. I wouldn't even worry about it. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley.

Now, I think we should debate this because, listen, a therapist has chimed in on the issue. Melissa Ligeti is her name. Oh, I gave it Maori. I gave it Maori vowels and an R, but it's with an L. Right. Ligiri. Melissa Ligiri says that when it comes to an ideal number of friends,

very normal to feel jealous, right, of like people that have these huge social circles. But her thing is it's not about quantity. It's about the quality of friends that you keep. Oh, okay. So we're on the same page, me and this Melissa. Is that her name? Melissa.

Melissa. Yeah. She says a small, stable group of friends can signify loyalty and a preference for close-knit relationships, meaning that the relationships are stronger and better than a huge smattering of friends with not a lot of depth to the relationship. So does she actually give an exact number?

No, there's no exact number to this, which is annoying. And I would actually, I would encourage Melissa in future to just commit to a number. Like, is it five, Melissa, or is it 15? Like, what is it? And I would actually, I would encourage Melissa in future to just commit. Commit to a number. Like, is it five, Melissa, or is it 15? Like, what is it? Yeah, well, and that's exactly, and it's like, what does a small group mean to you? Because a small group to me would be like, probably I've got 10 really, really close friends, like dear, very close, intimate friends.

Yep. But to another person, that's a lot of friends just in general. And I guess it's because I'm popular like that. Because you, but yeah, for some, it could just be a couple of really good friends and that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Or one, yeah, we are one to two besties. I definitely think quality over quantity.

I'm just Googled what's the perfect amount of friends and it's given me a few theories. Okay. There's the seven friend rule. The magic number of close friends to have is seven and all of them should occupy different roles within your life. Right. And then there's the 80-20 rule of friendship

where 80% of your deep friendship relations come from 20% of your friends. Oh, yeah. So you might have a bigger group, but still 20% of them make up 80% of your like real core friendship values. The three, six, nine rule. Oh, that's about how to make friends. If they see them through the first three months, you get to know each other.

The second set of three months, you're building a deeper connection. In the last three months, you have a clearer whether or error. What? Slate with them. Oh, no, you've ruined it. What? You've ruined it again. Oh, you've ruined it again idea of Slate with them. Oh no, you've ruined it. You've ruined it

again. You've ruined it again. Yeah. Oh gosh. You've ruined it again. Because there's only a certain amount of people that humans can... 150. Yeah. It's in that book. What was it? Was it the Malcolm Gladwell book? It sounds like a Malcolm Gladwell thing. Yeah. The 150, there's

a part of your brain and throughout animals, like herd animals, a part of your brain and throughout animals, like herd animals, this part of the brain is larger. Right. Because it's meant to, you're meant to be able to recognize that many people and it's why when humans were sort of evolving, every time it got to 150, they'd split in half and start a new village. And so they'd build it up to 150, then they'd split in half

because you got to 150 and it was like the perfect number for knowing everybody, not necessarily liking everybody, but knowing everybody and what they'd do. Right. And when it got more than that, you'd lose it. We're not wired to live in massive cities and just constantly be with a whole lot of people. Well, this therapist, Melissa, was like, when you've got too many, you're just spread too thin

and it actually ends up being more stressful than beneficial. And friends should be the opposite of stressful. But I don't know. Friends should be there to tell you that life doesn't work out that way and sometimes it's the other way. I told you, yeah, it was going to be that way. Wow. Guys, that's beautiful. Oh, too many claps again. And you know how I feel about you two. It was going to be that way. Wow. Guys, that's...

Oh, too many claps again. And you know how I feel about you two. It's five claps. Five claps. I'm just saying if you can fit five claps, Moses, I'll do them, you know? Sure. Four claps.

Next, we're going to change up what's your jobby. If you would like to play 0800-DARLS-IT-IN, we are going to... We should say what we're changing it up to. Yeah, because someone was being mean to us and they said, you guys suck at what's your hobby. Now, obviously, jobby is not a word. In're changing it up to. Yeah, because someone was being mean to us and they said, you guys suck at what's your hobby. Now, obviously, jobby is not a word.

In Scotland, it means poo. We do know that because it's the first time we ever did it. So today we're doing what's your hobby. So what's your jobby? So instead of you calling us and telling us your job, you've got to have a hobby. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. What's your jobby? What's Hayley. What's your hobby?

What's your hobby? What's your hobby? What's your hobby? Well, yeah. Such an easy switch out. We've changed it from jobby to hobby. Because we sucked at what's your job. So to participate, you've got to have a hobby. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you feel like last year, though, we were killing it. Yeah. With What's Your Jobby, we were doing so well, and now it's just been bad. I can't explain it. I mean, mostly Vaughan's dumb questions. Let's bring in Nikki. Good morning, Nikki.

Good morning. How are you guys? Really good. Now, we've got three questions to try and work out what your hobby is. We'll have a guess. If we guess it right, you win $100 cash. Might I go first? Yes.

Nikki, does your hobby, can you do it solo or does it involve other people? It involves other people. Oh, okay. So it's a team thing. It's a teamish or a game. Okay. Does your hobby involve a compass? What are you doing?

That's a dumb question. Or she could be an orienteering. What are you doing? The only hobby dumb question. What are you doing? She could be an orienteering or hiking or tramping. She just follows the trail. You have completely stuffed this up for us. So no, there's no compass, Nikki.

You didn't ask if it was outside or outdoors. I've done a Vaughan. You've done a Vaughan. I've done a Vaughan, haven't I? You've done a Vaughan. Oh, you've completely stuck me. Okay, so we've got a team activity.

Okay, would people on the outside who don't take part in this hobby consider this a nerdy hobby? Oh. That's good for me. Oh, okay. So it's a group for me. Oh, okay. So it's a group of people. See, now if Fletch hadn't have stuffed this up, we could have actually gotten here. No, because if we were inside or outside, I would now know if it was inside,

it might be Dungeons and Dragons, but if it was outside, she could be LARPing. She could be LARPing, yeah. Could be LARPing or marching. But at least we know now that she's not in an orienteering group. Oh, thank God. Even her baby, who I just heard, is so upset at your orienteering. Well, I mean, we've got to go D&D, right? Do you think more?

I don't know. Or if it's like a nerdy sport, you know, like ultimate frisbee. I wouldn't say that's nerdy. I wouldn't say anything where you're running around with that much... Vigueur. Vigueur. Yeah. Zest for life. Yeah, I don't know. I would say, around with that much... Vigueur. Vigueur. Zest for life.

I would say, does your hobby involve a zest for life? And if they said yes, I would say Outdoor Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee. We need a guess. It would be nerdy. I think we just go D&D. And it involves other people. You can't play that by yourself.

Yeah. Okay. Nikki, is your hobby Dungeons & Dragons? No, it's not. What is it? It's doing musical theatre. Oh! Okay.

See, oh my God. I should have picked that up because we have a synergy musical theatre nerds actually and I'm just not getting it in Melbourne. That's what the problem is. Right, okay. Hang on. What's your favourite musical? Favourite musical?

Let's talk. Oh, it's called Dogfight. Oh, I don't know that one. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. No. Is it about World War II? Like, Derry Van Hansen.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Derry Van Hansen I've heard of. Okay, you guys can catch up off air. Because if you were going to be any character in Les Mis, who would it be? No, she's gone, yeah. Is she an eponym? Is she a font?

Alicia, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Hobby? Hi. Sounds like a nurse. I'm going to go first. You're not saying hobby, you idiot. You idiot. Sounds like a nurse and her hobby is inserting catheters.

What do you punch, Fletch, for me? Okay, I'm going to go first. Is your hobby an outdoor activity? No. Oh. Okay, does your hobby involve a referee? No. It's not a sport.

Sports aren't hobbies. Sports aren't hobbies. Sports are hobbies. No, sports aren't hobbies. Sports are hobbies. Sports are hobbies. No, sports are hobbies. Sports are sports.

I'm sorry, sports are hobbies. Sports are sports. Unless you're a professional sports person, a sport is a hobby. And the producers agree. Sports are hobbies. I haven't even considered sports. So it doesn't involve a referee, or it does. Sports are hobbies.

No, it doesn't. And what was your question, Hayley? She's indoors. She's indoors, no referee. So I would have probably just said puzzles. Referee-less netball. No, you can't have referee-less netball. That's indoors, no referee. So I would have probably just said... Puzzles. Referee-less netball. No, you can't have referee-less netball.

That would be the Wild West. It would be chaos on the court. There'd be fist fights. The goal attack and punch the goal. Shoot. What about something more in Shannon's world, like crafting? Oh, we're talking a crafty girl. Yeah, yeah.

Is she into... Crochette. Is she a crochet? Does she do crochet? Have I asked that question? What about, what about if your hobby... Do you have to buy supplies

for your hobby? Good question. Uh, yeah, kinda, yeah. Oh, it's kind of, so I don't think it is crochet. Yeah, that kind of, yeah, that's not, it's not a,

it doesn't sound like a, it's intensive. Puzzles, but you need to buy the puzzles, right? That's the crucial part of it. That's kind of. That's kind of. But you could borrow puzzles.

Would you say, again, would you say out of these three questions that Fletcher's is the worst? I'd say it was the duddest question. What do you mean? Referee. That's a great one. I mean, it did rule out sport.

I'll give you that. Yeah, so thank you. That was a fantastic question. Okay, so she's indoors, no ref, and kind of has to buy supplies. So it's not craft. Do you think it's like just board games or? Yeah, I'm going to say.

No, you have to buy board games. Yeah, but she said kind of. Kind of. You can borrow them too. You can borrow puzzles. It's not close-up magic because that's all, you know, your trick shop stuff. Could it be cards like Halsey or something? She could be a big bingo girl.

She could be a big bingo girl. She could be a big bingo girl. I tell you, I'm going to go, should we go puzzler? Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, puzzle. Alicia, are you a puzzler? No. Ah. What's your hobby?

What's the best at this game? Pole dancing. Oh, my God. Amazing. You're right. That's a hobby. It's undeniably a hobby. And no referee involved. Yeah, my God. Amazing. You're right. That's a hobby. It's undeniably a hobby.

And no referee involved. Yeah, no referee. And she's indoors. How is there no referee in pole dancing, though? What if somebody's cheating? There's no cheating. Oh, because they perform one at a time. I don't know, because they bring two poles. How would you cheat with three's up somebody else's pole?

And then get just straight off. Yeah. A little bit of that Tonya Harding of pole dancing. Yeah, exactly. Alicia, thank you so much for playing. And well done. Well done on your core fitness. Yeah, watch your strong legs.

I bet the core is really strong. Lana, good morning. Welcome to What's Your Hobby? Hi. Oh. Can I? Logistics. Carry on.

Okay, we're not jobby. Is it Lana? Lana? Yes. Yeah. Is your hobby a physical hobby? You know, like it requires use of the body. It is physical.

Yes. Okay, mountain biking. I'm getting a big mountain biking vibe. Not bad. From Lana. Could be a mountain biking vibe. What's the kind of a question you could ask? Just because it's physical.

Does your hobby make you dirty? Wait, just check with Vaughn first. No, I'm not. Does it make you dirty? Does your hobby get you dirty, Lana? Sort of. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't sound like a mountain. You'd say yes.

Well, she said it was physical, so at the end of it, she's going to be sweaty. Sweaty, but not, yeah. Okay. If that was covered by physical. You would say maybe like the odd bit of mud, but not muddy. No, no mud. Okay, no mud.

Also rules out orienteering. You get very muddy orienteering, don't you? I was feeling a marching girl vibe. I don't know. I just feel like they would love to play this game. Right. Okay. How would we, what do we do now?

Do I do an indoor or outdoor situation? Because your hobby could be like indoor netball. Yeah, but she gets kind of dirty. No, you need to narrow it down. You don't get kind of dirty and, yeah, physical. Is your hobby... What about does she... If you got to the top

of your hobby could you represent New Zealand on an international stage? Oh that's a good question Yes yes yes Oh Okay

It's a sport where she's not going to I think it might be netball You reckon? It might be netball American netball Netty netty net nets Okay

Alright well I'm happy with that What do you reckon? Or she's a marching girl. You want to lock, yeah, but you don't represent New Zealand, do you? Because it's not really, it doesn't count.

Marching, does it? Wow. Okay. Wow. Okay, Lana, let's lock in a job. Is your hobby netball? Sure is. Yeah!

Yeah! What's your hobby? What's your hobby? What's your hobby? It's netball. What's your hobby? What's your hobby? What's your hobby? It's in full. That's your hobby. That's your hobby. Oh, that's fantastic.

See, this is a great one. I think next time we should do What's Your Lobby, where people that work in hotels or big buildings call up. Yes. And we guess what the prominent building material is. Marble, carpet. And then the following week we'll do what's your snobby, like what are the things that you are a bit snobbish about.

I think we can stick with what's your hobby for a while, for sure. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Holy shit. I loved that. Okay, so guys, yesterday I got, okay, I nearly killed a dog. It was dramatic. That sounds like you purposely set out to kill a dog

when you say I nearly killed a dog. It sounds like the dog frustrated you to the point where you're like, I'm going to kill you, but that was not the case. No, it was not the case at all. Okay, here's the thing. You never kill the dog. You never kill the dog. That's how John Wick, if. Shouts out John Wick.

If they hadn't killed John Wick's dog, they would have got away with it. I remember years and years ago we spoke to a director or a writer of some movie and he was going on about how you never kill the dog. It's like a thing. No, yeah, you don't. In Hollywood? Yeah. You never kill the dog. Unless the movie's Marley and Me

because that's kind of the plot point. Yeah, that's the whole point of that movie. Yeah, without it, nothing much happens. No, okay, so yesterday I had to take all my stuff from my apartment here in Melbourne to the theatre, right, to pack in and get it all set up. And my lovely producers over here were like, we'll come and pick you up. We'll grab all your stuff so that you don't have to walk it down the street

or be heavy. And I was like, great. Had my keyboard and my bag and my keytar, which by the way was a hit last night. People think it's very cool that I play keytar. Well worth the money spent. A great $1,000 gag, I reckon. Yeah.

And so I had my thing and I get in and my producer's in the front and she's helping me load the car. And we have to flip down a seat to put in my long piano, which I will say is electric keyboard, but it's about 25 kgs. She's like, she's not light, right? Yeah.

So we flip down the seat and we slide in this thing and it's kind of teetering like this, which is when I realize there's a little dog in the back of the car, like a shit-who, you know, like one of those. Yeah, shit-wawa. Shit-wawa, yeah. Shit-wawa. So there's a little shit-wawa, and I was like, oh, hello, shit-wawa.

What are you? And you're like, oh, yeah, that's Buddy or whatever its name was. So you nearly killed it, and you couldn't even remember its name. That's pretty wild. I wouldn't even be able to tell you who it was. The dog was under the piano. No, no, no, no, no. So the dog was in its little bed in the back seat. Flipped down the

other back seat, put in the piano like this. I said, he's fine. No, but he's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. So then I do that and I kind of put the piano up on its side like this. I said, he's fine. No, but he's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. So then do that. And I kind of put the piano up on its side like this. Oh yeah. Watch out shitwawa. Shitwawa's in the back. I get in the front. We're driving around the streets of Melbourne, heading from the apartment to the venue. Yeah. We hit a hard corner. The nearly 30 kg piano. And i've got to tell you the size of this shit wawa i mean it was a little shit wawa like the size of a cat a small cat yeah smaller than my cat right much smaller than your

fat cat thank you for shaming my cat there yeah well you know yeah actually there's a body for everybody and we take this corner and the piano flips like this and the dog's like, and it kind of falls. You sandwiched the shitwawa. You squashed the shitwawa. I squashed the shitwawa and it was sort of like half under this thing and I was like, oh my God, because I heard the yelp and I lifted it up.

But the shitwawa was shockingly robust. Right. Shockingly robust. I would have thought we would have had a broken leg or a squash. Yeah. Unless you've done some internal damage to this dog that will become apparent in the next couple of days. Well, it wasn't apparent in the moment and now it's sort of not my problem.

Do you know what I mean? It's not my issue. We won't be able to pinpoint why the dog is injured. No, the dog was absolutely fine. It was kind of wagging its tail and was all happy. I think it kind of liked the thrill. It made it feel alive. It saw death as a sweet release from its existence as a shitwower.

It's like, I shouldn't exist. The two dog breeds that made me would never have come across each other in the natural environment. No, no. And now he's got a reason for being, you know. So it's got to be scary though. You've given that dog a zest for life. Yeah, and you're Lisa Hite today. They'll get out there and do nothing because it's too small

to do anything practical. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Hard embargo. Hard embargo. Yesterday we were waiting for an interview and we were, weren't we? And I drank two coffees and then a litre of water, and boy, I just need to go wheeze like four times. Yeah. That's just me.

I just go wheeze a lot. Weak bladder. Weak bladder. I'm also weak bladder. I'm just, if I need to go, I need to go. That's a modern convenience, isn't it? Yeah. Well done, humanity, to getting us to the point where if we need to go, we can go. And I laughed because

I was reminded when I was a child, I thought the wheeze was still in the testicles. You thought the wheeze was in your balls? I thought the wheeze was in the balls. Oh, yeah. And here's the clincher. I thought everybody had balls. I knew girls

didn't have a penis, but I thought they had balls. Right, just somewhere. Where would the balls sit near our vaginas? Yeah, just underneath. Are you going to remember? I hadn't seen a vagina either. I wasn't sure where, orientation-wise, the hole was. Thank God. Or the holes.

What were they teaching you in Morrinsville? This was when I was really young. You know when you're a kid and no one tells you something, then you've got to come up with an answer for it. You just make up your own answer. Yeah. Like when you'd see old TV no one tells you something and you've got to come up with an answer for it, you just make up your own answer. Yeah. Yeah. Like when you'd see old TV shows and they were black and white.

So in my mind, the whole world must have been black and white. Like I remember saying to my Nana, when you were a kid, everything was black and white. Do you remember when you turned colour, Nana? Yeah. Basically, do you remember when you turned colour? What was it like the day you turned colour? And she's like, what are you talking about?

And I was like, well, all the old... Did she shake her head and think, this thick kid. Yeah, she gave me a couple of lollies. Thick kid, man. She's like, if he's going to be thick, he better be fat. And then she fattened me up. Nice and plump. I definitely remember when I was young, young,

thinking that, because I grew up in Eastbourne in D'Hart, thinking that over the hill, over the Wainuiomata Hill was the other side of the world, like that Wellington was one half of the world and then behind the Wainuiomata Hill was all of the rest of people. That actually stacks up really because

it is on the other side of the hill, metaphorically and poetically. No, but I genuinely thought you'd drive over the Wainui Mata Hill. And there's the rest of the world. And be in Paris. Asia and Europe. It's not that far away.

Everything's over there too. The Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, Statue of Liberty, Sydney Opera House, the Harbour Bridge. I know people think those are around the world, but no, they're in Wainui Amar. Right there in Wainui Amar. Over the hill. You just got to drop down and you're in all of it.

Yeah. You're in all of it. That's what we want to talk about this morning is when you were a kid, like what did someone had to tell you? No, that's not right. Yeah. I mean, bonus points if you're still an adult when you found this out. Yeah.

Right now, if you're just learning that the pee isn't stored in the balls, I'm here because when I was four or five, I thought that. How old were you when you actually realised it was in the bladder? I think it was, I don't want to name names or drop, but I remember asking a girl where her balls were. And she's like, I beg your pardon? And I was like, where are your balls? Where is the pee?

I was a child. I'm talking? Where is the piece of you even? I was a child. I'm talking a tiny, tiny child. Okay, okay. I feel like he was a teenager. That person told other people and then they laughed at me and that's probably why I remember it so much. It's because there was a little bit of trauma. Scarred.

Okay, 0800DARLS at Amazon number. Give us a call. You can text in 9696. What did you think as a child that one day you learned wasn't true? We're talking about what you wrongly assumed as a child. Like, just little things. Until somebody told you any different, you'd kind of used your imagination to fill the space.

Yeah. Okay, let's take some calls first. Paris, what did you wrongly believe as a child? I was just checking out about what Hayley said about the Wainui Hill because I also grew up in the hut. And on the same bedside, there's like a cell phone tower. And I used to think that that was the sky tower in Auckland. Oh, bless.

Oh, hon. The cell phone. Is this just a thing of people that grew up in the hut? Yeah, and I was like, why does it take everybody eight hours to drive there? Like, I can see it. Like, I don't think people are thinking about it. It's not that far away. Not the Sky Tower.

Oh, please not. And was it amazing when you did get to see the Sky Tower for real, Paris? Yeah, and I was like, wow, it takes way longer than I thought. Yeah, it's way bigger. It's way bigger. But it's got great cell phone reception as well because there's a couple of them up there, isn't there? It does.

Paris, thank you. Lucy, what did you wrongly believe as a child? I used to think that the sleep built up in your head all day and that when you went to sleep, the sleep felt out your ears into your pillowcase. And that's why you had to change your sheets in your pillowcase every week because you had to take away all the old tire ears into your pillowcase. And that's why you had to change your sheets and your pillowcase every week because you had to take away all the old tire away

in your pillowcase. Get to wash the tire. Do you know Lucy? That's pretty cute, Lucy. That's pretty cute. My granddad used to say that your pillow had sleep in it. And that's why he was like, don't use my pillow.

Don't you want, you're stealing all my sleep. And I was like, okay, that's why we always use the same pillow because we've been allocated sleep. Oh, well, I stealing all my sleep. And I was like, okay, that's why we always use the same pillow because we've been allocated sleep. Well, I was putting my tired in. You were putting the tired in and I'm taking the sleep out. Lucy, thank you. Some messages in. Oh my God. My family said we were going on a holiday to Turkey. And as a kid, I was just terrified and they finally got it out of me

that my dad had told me to get to Turkey, you have to go up a turkey's bum. I was just so scared of having to go up the turkey's bum. I was terrified. How are we going to fit, Dad? Like logistically, not possible, Dad. Yeah. When you were a kid, what you thought, what you believed because no one had told you any different

and then someone breaks your heart and tells you the actual truth of it. Yeah. I thought dark dogs did the brown poo that you'd see, and white dogs did that white poo that you'd see. White dogs poo? White poo. Older and obviously been bleached in the sun. Brenna, what did you wrongly believe as a child?

Good morning. When I was little, my brother had a hernia, and I thought that that meant that he got his penis removed. Of course. I had a hernia. Is that thought that that meant that he got his penis removed. Of course. I had a hernia. Is that not what happened? Did you have your penis removed? No, I didn't.

No. Yeah, my parents just pointed to that general region, and they said, oh, he's got it removed. That would have been three or four. And until I was embarrassingly old, I thought that meant that, yeah, that the other part was removed. Wow. And then what?

That kind of dawned on you one day that he's still, okay, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Someone just said when I was like maybe in primary school a little bit later, they're like, oh, hernia. Yeah, so I got that removed. I said, oh, my goodness, do you have your penis removed? And they said, no. Thank you.

You weren't old enough for everybody to remember that. No. Because they will. I'll tease you. There's so many amazing ones. When I was six, I heard some older kids talking about condoms, but using the word protection. And I knew dad worked in a workshop and had to wear protection,

but his protection was always high vis. So when I first saw a condom and it wasn't high vis, I was like, mind-blowing. Oh, wow. Mind-blowing. I love that someone messaged in saying that they found out dinosaurs definitely existed and weren't just a theory in seventh form biology. Wow. Okay. Conspir a theory in seventh form biology. Wow.

Okay. Conspiracy theory slash religious parents there. Somebody said, I thought the moment of conception for a baby was when the bride and groom kissed at the altar. So when my auntie and uncle's wedding and they kissed, I went around telling everybody they were pregnant and having a baby

and it started this big rumor at their wedding that she was pregnant at their wedding. Did you read up Anne? Not yet. I'm saving Anne. Oh, yes. I thought men gave birth to boys and women gave birth to girls, and my dad had a pot belly.

So when I heard I was getting a little brother or sister, I was like, well, of course it's going to be a brother because dad's obviously the pregnant one because of his belly. God. I thought Neapolitan – I was on this team as well. I thought Neapolitan ice cream was pronounced Napoleon ice cream. And I was like, I don't know what he, I know he was the French leader. But why has he got an ice cream?

I've always thought it was because the French flag is three different coloured stripes, but blue and red ice cream wouldn't sell. So they went pink and chocolate. That's my theory before why I always thought Neapolitan ice cream was Napoleon ice cream. Makes sense. Somebody said, growing up, I thought my middle name was Anne. And? My middle name is actually Anne.

But when people would ask me my name, I would say Anne. Like, for example, I'd say my name is Vaughn Anne Smith. My mum's middle name is Anne, so she'd be Patsy Anne Sproul. Patsy Anne Sproul. Yeah. Brilliant. Play ZM's Flesh, Patsy and Sproul. Yeah. Brilliant. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and

Hayley. We're going to test you, Hayley, because you love a good love story and you read a lot of adult Yeah, adult romance. Adult romance. It's smart. Well, there's been a study that's looked at Yeah, adult romance. Adult romance. Yes.

It's smart. It's called smart. Well, there's been a study that's looked at whether ChatGPT can write better romance than humans. Oh, okay. So, Vaud and I are going to test you, Hayley, soon. I just actually asked ChatGPT if a human dose of Viagra would be enough to kill a rat. Why? Why'd you ask it that? Me and my mates are talking about the best way to stop mice and rats.

And then we were talking about how funny it would be to sit around with a stiffy. With a stiffy. Because they'd be like, oh God. No, but then they'd be all horny and make more mice and rats. But apparently it would be enough to kill it. Right. Yeah. Okay.

Or just rat poison. Yeah, I know, but what if they cotton onto its poison? And dudes can't say no to Viagra. Curiosity killed the rat. My fans, they can, like, smell me. It's the ultimate bucket list concert. Amazing, show-stopping, spectacular. Mother monster.

Put it in a blender. S*** on it. Vom. Put it in a blender. S*** on it. Vomit on it. What? Lady Gaga. Well, we can announce because the hard embargo has lifted that Lady Gaga will be performing in December in Australia. So I know that may disappoint some fans that she isn't coming to New Zealand,

but she is coming. December 5 to Melbourne at Marvel Stadium. December 9 Brisbane at Suncorp Stadium. And December 12, Sydney. A core stadium. I mean, it's Lady Gaga. Yeah, a lot of gaps between those dates, so I'm imagining

there'll be multiple in each. If you're gonna travel for anyone, you're travelling for Lady Gaga, you know? 100%. So this has just been announced. Eight o'clock, the embargo lifted. We are going to give you the chance, if you keep listening to ZM,

to score a double pass plus flights and accommodation, transfers as well, to see Lady Gaga live in Sydney on that December 12th show at Accor Stadium. So make sure you keep ZM loud, keep listening. We'll give you so many chances to go in the draw to see Lady Gaga live in Australia. And those dates, all the info you can get at ZM online.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. This guy's flush with cash. I'm not flush flush. He's flush with cash. But I could get. Hayley, this guy's cashed up. I could get 2 point. Oh my God.

2 point. I've got $15.77, guys. Guys, I've got a refund. I've got a refund. Wowza. I'm in the money. Invest it. I'm in the money.

So I got an email the other day from the URD. The URD. And it was just one of those automated ones that said, you know, it's the end of the tax year. Yeah. Do you return at some stage before the July or whenever it is? I was like, well, I'll do it now. I'll do it now.

I'm here. And it's so easy now compared to what it used to be like. Everything's just there. Yeah. You don't do a lot of freelance work anymore. Yeah, if you're P-A-Y-E, it's easy now. Because everything knows, everything just reports to the ERD and it's all there.

You just click yes, next, tick a few boxes. That's cool. And then I was like, you're getting $15.77. I was like, free money. Is that the worst tax refund you've ever got? Have you ever got less? Because if it's like your dual refund and you get super excited and then you set the amount and you're like, oh, man.

I think once I got like $1.90 or something. I've had it below $1.01. And I'm just like, why did like the money that it's cost for you to send me the letter telling me this? Yeah. Surely it's not worth it. It isn't worth it. But yeah, now I've got $15.77.

$15. What do I do with that? $15. You can't even buy eggs on toast for that, really. Oh, like at a cafe? No. At a cafe? No.

No, you'd be stretched to... Could you get your sushi? Yeah, because sometimes I get sushi. How much do you ever get? Even more than $15? Yeah, no, it's about $13. I'll spend on $12 or $13. That's a sushi on the government.

That's a sushi on the government. Well, it's not really because I've paid the government too much money, right? Yeah. And now I'm getting it back. So it's still my money. Only $13 too much. Yeah. I was going to say that we, you know, you could shout us a round of coffees,

but my coffee's like $7. So that one of you would have to miss out. Mine's real cheap because it's just water and black coffee. Right. So I could even that out. Again, it's not your refund, Elizabeth. It's mine. I'm just saying share and share alike. You're the one harping on about how cashed up you are.

Stop rubbing your wealth in our face. Stop wealth shaming us. I'm having a look. I'm on a website here. There's some toys. You can get a Rubik's Cube for $14.99. That's an expensive Rubik's Cube. Rubik's Cube?

I don't want a Rubik's Cube. I think this is branded. That's the Rubik's brand. Right. Somebody said they thought they were going to get a tax refund and it was actually $2,000 they have to pay. So could they possibly get a bit of your $15? Actually, that'd be great.

Right. We're not giving away my $15.77. Absolutely not. Well, you're going to miss it. Somebody did say those who have been made redundant be a little bit careful because I got a redundancy payment last year and I just received a $2,500 tax bill because...

But don't they take the tax out when they make you redundant? But did it push them up? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, that's not good. I don't know. We don't like a surprise.

Okay, here's another message. Here's a heads up. I work for a tax service. You shouldn't file your 2025 returns yet. KiwiSafe providers and banks have not yet updated your pie income. What's a pie income? What's pie income? I don't eat pies.

I've had a couple of pies in the last year. But why did they let me submit it? Oh, well, I don't care. It's've had a couple of pies in the last year. But why did they let me submit it? Oh, well, I don't care. It's done now. Because maybe they knew on your record it says you didn't have any mince and cheese. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your pie record.

Oh, no, I had a chicken and mushroom. What about how much? I had a chicken and mushroom pie. Uh-oh. Yum. I wouldn't spend that $15. Why would they let me do it if I'm not allowed to do it now? I just did it.

I don't care. They accepted it. You could buy a roast chuck. You could buy a roast chuck. You could buy a roast chuck. A bachelor's handbag. Yeah. I tell you what, the world is my oyster with $15.77. I am very excited.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You all right, darling? I can't read this. I can't read this. I can't read this. What have you done? I can't read this. What have you done?

Okay, so a study has been done, and what it's looked at is human writers, human romance writers versus AI, like chat GPT writers. And the study has found that AI can reproduce the patterns of romantic fiction, but it lacks the originality. Whereas humans, for now now write heartbreak like there's more depth whereas AI can write a love story

but there's no depth to it no AI definitely is still lacking in the creativity empathy kind of thing you know like it doesn't have feeling it's got no heart well Carwin sent me through two clips one is AI

and one is human-ridden. I'm not going to tell you which one. Carwen, you, what's your Instagram called again? Oh, my God, Carwen Reads. C-A-R-W-E-N Reads. Carwen Reads. No, sorry, how do you spell Reads? Because you only gave half a spelling.

Sorry, R-E-A-B-S. Now, you're actually telling us earlier this week that a lot of authors, there's like this big fight at the moment with like AI companies. Yeah, so obviously AI, to like train it, they take a lot of content. And one of the things that they're using is like every author's book. So all the authors that I follow are like going onto this specific website,

don't know what it is, typing in their content or their name and it's popping up with all of their books that have been used by that AI to train it, essentially. It's like sucked in all of their work and it's just copying it. And for free, right? Like those authors aren't getting paid for their content to be used.

So can they then, when they go to this website, are they then opting out of it? I think that there might be some sort of kind of legal action that they're all kind of banding together to take because it? I think that there might be some sort of kind of legal action that they're all kind of banding together to take because I don't think you can just be like, remove. Yeah. No, because also imagine if scientists said this

and said, you can't use my science to make AI more intelligent. You know, it's sort of the same thing, isn't it? No, so I think good scientists would be happy for their work to be out there and analysed by AI and hoping to come to conclusions and stuff like that. No, but they did the PhD.

No, I would be like, you can't take mine. No, I don't think you'd be a very good scientist if you were greedy. What I'm doing is if I discover things in the science world, I'm sitting on it. I've worked hard to figure that out. I'm not shirring people. No, the idea is that we use it. People hate it. I'm the one who did the hard work. I've come up with figure that out. I'm not shirring. No, the idea is that we use it. People hate people like you.

People hate. I've come up with a new. I'm the one who did the hard work. I've come up with a new wonder drug. It'll solve the tuberculosis problem. Oh my God, amazing. Can we have it? Absolutely not. No, I did the hard work.

So you can do your own one now. Gimme, gimme, gimme. So you can only use it. So what we've decided on the back of the study, Hayley, because you do love reading your adult fiction, we've got two paragraphs. They're fine to read out. One of them's...

Well, Carwen's nodding, but then Carwen has been desensitised. She has, but I'm just... Did you read all of these books, Carwen? What do you mean, all of these books? In your book club, in your book talk, your book account, Carwen Reads. Have you read all those books? I'm on to my 12th book of the year. I've never even seen that many books.

That was a flex, wasn't it? Yeah, my goal is 40. Yeah, I'm on to my none books of the year. Do pamphlets count? Yeah. Well, I've done four pamphlets. Audio books is reading as well. Audio books is reading, yeah. And podcasts. It's podcasts reading. I've read heaps of podcasts.

Okay, so Hayley, we're going to read. Story one. And you've got to work out which one is in chat GPT. You can play along at home. Every Sunday at 9.03am, June walked into the same cafe and Eli was always there. Sketching by the window, latte, half drunk, eyes full of quiet stories.

They never spoke, just exchanged nods and shared the space like a secret. One morning, the cafe was crowded and he looked up and said, sit with me. And she did. They talked about books, rain, and why only drew in black and white while she pressed wildflowers in colour. Sundays changed after that.

Croissants were shared. Beautiful pronunciation. Sketches of her flowers appeared in his notebook. Coloured. Laughter lingered longer than coffee stem. One day, a drawing awaited her on their table. Two coffee cups, a sunlit window. Beneath it, it said,

will you have coffee with me every day? She smiled and said, only if I get the window seat. Oh, beautiful. That's excerpt one. Now, was that human depth that comes from a human writer? Did that feel like human depth? There was some poetry. Yeah, poetry in there.

Or was it storytelling structure that was done well by AI? I need to hear the other one to make my analysis. Story two, okay. He barely touched me and yet I'm ready to melt into a puddle at his feet.

I don't know whether it's the proximity, the sheer adrenaline, or the tequila. So we've got croissants and tequila. But every rational thought disappears and I crush my mouth against his. He wastes no time sinking his hand into the hair and the nape of my neck.

Gripping tightly. Ooh, shivers. Just seek permission before grabbing a handful of hair, I will say. Yes, and if, like me, you have hair extensions, you will have to tell your suitor not to pull too hard. Yes. His hand slips around my body and palms my ass.

Making naders everywhere at once. All I can do is hold on to him and take it. When his mouth travels down my neck, ooh, da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da. I don't think that's what happened when I fired up. Yeah. He just looks so good in a tux

and watching him nervously check the party is going well all night has some sort of endearing. Okay, okay. You know what? I know that I said that ChatGPT, you know, doesn't have the depth, but this to me, hearing that second one, very familiar.

I've read at least 20 books that use the word palm quite aggressively by humans. So I actually think the sexier telling, because I do know ChatGPT is also a bit of a purge. Like she's a little bit judgmental. I think the second one is the human

and the more romanticised glossing over was AI. I agree, because I don't know either. Vaughn knows. I think AI, I think excerpt one was AI. Yeah. Because it's too clean. And excerpt two, one, can I get the name and the title of that book?

And I think that's written by a human. Okay. Correct. Yay! But all I gave the prompt, I didn't know the second one was going to be so sexy. Because I said, can you generate a short love story

as close to a human written story as possible? We're going to compare AI generated love stories to human written ones, so do your best. Oh, wow. You really set the bar high. Yeah. Great prompt.

Too much pressure for ChatGPT. A lot of pressure for ChatGPT, but I could have asked for a slightly sexier one because you're right. I don't know. Yeah. ChatGPT might be a little prudish. Yeah, you know. But yeah, that second one.

Hannah Grace wrote that. It's from Icebreaker. Yes, I've read Icebreaker actually. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. I mean, ChatGPT did a great job. I thought you were, I mean, it wasn't as sexy, but you still seemed

interested in the story. I was very interested in the story. There were a couple of, ooh, like a couple of, oh. Yes, and before hearing the second one, I was convinced that that could have only been written by a human because of its sort of beautiful language and its romance, you know? I don't know. Somebody messaged in saying, how many Zs are used in each story?

That's how you can tell what one is chat GPT. Oh, because of the, what English? Are there English versus? Or less Zs are used in each story? That's how you can tell what one is chat GPT. Oh, because of the, what English, are they English versus? Or less Zs? America uses. America's spelling versus our, is that what you mean? Oh, is that what they mean?

I don't know. If you just texted in, your number ends in 538, could you just confirm what you mean by the Zs? Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is gross, I will say. It's about teeth. I'll forewarn you that it's a little bit yucky. It's about teeth all week. But it was very, very interesting. I found it fascinating. Yep. And maybe one, if you're a kid listening in the car, this is going to be right up your alley. Okay.

This is one to, you know, next time mum and dad tell you to stop picking your nose and eating it, you can say, it's actually really good for my teeth. Ooh, okay. Yuck. How gross, eh? So a 2015 MIT study led by Catherine Rybeck said that

the mucins, which is like the mucus, the stuff in the mucus, is sugar-coated proteins that prevent harmful bacteria from sticking to surfaces like teeth. So it's not, it doesn't kill anything that's already there,

but if you brush your teeth, if your teeth are clean, and then they get these salivary mucins on them, especially one, MUC5B, which has been identified, it creates a slippery barrier in your teeth that can block cavity-causing bacteria ever being able to attach to your teeth. So brush your teeth with snot? Yeah. Yeah.

Basically. The potential applications noted at the time was that nasal sprays or toothpaste or chewing gum could have synthetic mucins added for protection. It would add a slippery surface to your teeth. Right. So it wouldn't stick to it. Is this making you really salivary?

Yeah, it kind of is. And it's making me really aware that I need to have a nose pick because I don't know what's up there, but I feel like there's something up there now and I really need to get up there and get it in. So some other hot takes on it, and this would be right up your alley, Fletch, is that the idea of ingesting the bacteria and stuff in snot

is kind of a natural probiotic. Oh, okay. It's a bold claim, and they said it's a hygiene hypothesis. Okay. I've been a long-term believer in, you know, like I'll be chewing my nails and people will say, that's yuck.

And I'm like, just building up a little resistance. Yeah, but a bacteria? Yeah. Yeah. Keep it going, because I've got an eye on guts. You can attest to this. When everyone in Cambodia was, as this old saying goes,

shitting through the eye of a needle I was eating street food and weird things and I'd be like stop the van they'd be like no

jump out and I'd be like what are these and they'd be like it's like a pudding rice cooked in a bamboo thing and I was just like I trust you person

who I've never met yeah who doesn't have a food safety rating from the local council because that doesn't exist no way man and there's a couple of stray dogs hanging around

that look like they've got some other stuff as well. But gimme, gimme, gimme. So today's fact of the day in Teeth Week is that picking your nose and eating it can kind of be good for your teeth. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Embarrassing from us, though. I was so convinced. Yeah, me too. I love you, Rodrigo. Now, the reason why that would have been a great time to play driver's license is because apparently teenagers are delaying getting their license. Because is it still 15 or is it 16? 16.

We looked this up recently. Yeah, right. Because my daughter was asking about getting a driver's license. I was like, you need to calm down. You need to calm down. You're 13 years old. You calm down. I'll teach you to drive before then, but let's not think we're driving on the road.

Well, you're not even driving on the road. I suppose you are. You get your learners at 16, and then you have that for a while, and then you're restricted and all that. You're 16 years old to apply, yeah, to get your learner's license, and then you can learn to drive on the road.

Yeah. Yeah. So, apparently, as of the last four years, nearly 40% of teenagers have delayed getting their license by one to two years and 30% have delayed by more than two years, not bothering to get it until much later.

Now, I got mine when I was 17, so I waited a little bit. Yeah, I waited a little bit as well. Yeah, because for me, with the chauffeur, I didn't feel a need. You mean the chauffeur of mum and dad? Mum and dad's taxi.

The mum and dad Uber. Yeah, so I waited a little bit, but for no other reason than just, I don't know, I just, you know, didn't feel the need to drive. Whereas there were some kids that you could tell their parents were like, learn to drive because I'm sick of taking you to swimming practice at 4 a.m. It was always the swimmers and the rowers and the cyclists

and the ones that were doing the sports series. They had to be somewhere at 5 a.m. Or those that lived like 80 k's from school. Yeah, yeah. We had lots of kids driving to school because, you know, you drove like from well out of town, like you say, we drove ourselves there and whatnot. But anyway, I was like, people,

they don't know why they're sort of delaying it. I think a lot of people are like, you know, as you say, come on, come on kids, get out and get going. Yeah. I want to know this morning, if we have listeners that still, not teenagers, still as adults, don't have the driver's license, then why not? What are you doing?

Well, I guess if you live in the city, I mean, I don't know. I guess there would be cities like if you grew up in New York, you would never need... They don't. And they don't own cars, right? Yeah, they don't own cars. Because you'd take

the metro everywhere and you wouldn't need to drive anywhere. But like in New Zealand, I still feel even in the big cities, like, I mean, I don't have a car now

and haven't for like 10 years because I live in the city. Yeah. But... Dude, it's way longer than 10 years since you got rid of your car. Yeah, it's a long time. But I'll still drive and hire cars and use friends' cars. But, yeah, I mean, you're still kind of – New Zealand's so spread out. Yeah.

I had a friend that was just so scared of it, and he's in his mid-40s now, still doesn't have his license. Oh, he got his license, his learner's last year because his wife was like get it together. At 40? Yeah. And I was always like what happened if you were home with the kids? Yeah.

And something happened and you needed and he was like, I reckon I could figure it out. I reckon I could figure it out. I mean, everything's pretty much an automatic now, so I'm sure you could. Yeah. At 40 years of age. Okay, so somebody just messaged in saying

their daughter took her time because of how expensive it was and she had to save up the money. So I'm looking here, application fee including two tests, learners $96.10. Yeah. And then every time,

so third attempt on is $54 more. Okay. Restricted is $167.50 for the first two tests. Then $100 thereafter. And then full is $98 and then $71 if you fail it twice. So if you're paying for that yourself

and you're a teenager, you totally can see that work. You've also got to have a car as well that you can learn to drive or even use. So, okay, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Let's take some calls.

You can text 966. Is there anybody listening or maybe you know of somebody that hasn't got their license and why is that and obviously you've got we only want to hear from people like we don't want to hear from like 19 year olds right

you want to hear from people that are like well into adulthood that still haven't got their licence and why. So a new study has found that young people are delaying getting their licence. Yeah, by at least a few years. Maybe it's a money thing. Maybe it's also just a, eh, put it off. Yeah, we're shooting for the oldest person that you know

that doesn't have a licence. Alicia, good morning. How old? Good morning. Well, I didn't get mine until I was about 29. Okay, that's later-ish. I was more calling because my mum, my brother and my sister all don't have their driver's licences.

They don't drive. The whole family, basically. I grew up with a single mum and she just never, yeah, never drove. Wow. So how did you get around when you needed to go get things or go somewhere? I'm like, buses and trains. My mum's friends, yeah.

Yeah, okay. But now you're the black sheep of the family because you can drive. Yeah, I can drive, so yeah, I drive them around. Do you think they were scared of it or the public transport was so good they didn't see the need? Well,

my sister does live in the city. So, and like, you know, she's just a couple of minutes from her work. Everything, yeah, everything is a walking distance for her. Same as my brother, actually. They're all like in the city. Oh, yeah, even my mum. I do live like a half an hour drive from them though. Yeah, so you kind of had to.

And also, you've got full control of when you see them. Yes, exactly. Sorry, Alicia, thank you. Jess, your mum has never had a licence. Never in her life. She'll turn 66 next month. Wow.

She grew up in a really tiny village in the south of England until she was like 18 or 19 when they emigrated. So they, like a lot of people didn't own cars. It was all trains and buses and stuff. And then they emigrated and I think it was a fair thing to begin with and then it just

as time went on, she's like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Never. We live in rural northern Waikato, so it's a 20-minute minimum drive to the nearest anything. Oh, wow. So you need to be driving. Yeah.

She relies on everyone else. So as a kid, it was my nana or my dad that was around that drove, and then my nana taught me to drive, and I've been driving. I got my license as soon as I could. I was one of those sports kids. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, mum's never driven. She knows how to drive.

Like I remember being in a car with her driving, but she's never ever held a license. It's wild that her mother drove her around and she never returned the favor. Also, I love how wild it is. So many people could still be on their learners or restricted and have been for like 15 years. They just never get there.

They expire though, don't they? They're restricted for 20 years each, I think. Oh just never get it. They expire though, don't they? They're restricted for 20 years each, I think. Oh, they do expire. You can go back in and get it on. Jess, thank you. Message is in. My grandma is 94 and has never driven anything.

My grandma is 89 and has never driven a car and she had seven kids. What? Whoa. How did you do that without a car? I don't know. My mum doesn't have a licence, never has. She's 62, refuses to drive. Wow. That's wild.

It must be a fear for a lot of people, right? Yeah, totally. Which is totally understandable. It is terrifying. You get stuck between two trucks doing 100km an hour and even a seasoned professional will be like, I don't like this at all. Yeah.

When did you get your licence, Georgia? Were you a late bloomer or did you get it? The moment, like the day I could. Okay. Because I was a sporty gal. Canterbury girl too. Where were you off to? Darfield.

See the rugby team. Water polo? Swimming? Were you on water polo? They get grabby. Yeah, they do get grabby. They're very grabby, water polo. You get wedgies and all sorts.

Wait, is wedgies? I've not used the word wedgies in a long time. Yeah, wedgies with the undies on. polo. You get wedgies and all sorts. Wait, is wedgies the... I've not used the word wedgies in a long time. Yeah, wedgies with the undies over the bottom. Yeah, you get full wedgies and bruises. Yeah. And you get a cup full of it, all sorts. Oh, goodness me. And then, of course, at the weekend,

when you were going out to Dartfield to poop on the rugby boys, you needed a licence, didn't you? Nah, oh, yes, but also surf lifesaving was great for that too. Did you do surf Lifesaving? Don't, why, why is there a tone? Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast.

Oh yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review,

and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.