ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - August 21st 2025

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

The Maccas Burger Dot SLP - Do You Cyber Stalk Someone Before A Date? Miss Phillipine's Butterfly Drama Top 6 Annoying Things Having The Pope As A Flatmate Where'd You Slip A Fart People Are Learning About The Pen License What's Your Jobby Herman Update What Are The Names On Your Roster? Fact Of The Day Hayley's Awkward Road Rage Moment Four Words To Piss Off Your PartnerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network The Flashhorn and Haley Big Pod Great things are brewing at McAfee. The perfect start to every day. I've seen these before and I just assumed it was just part of the process of making the burger. There must have been somebody that needed to be aligned and this was the bit that you used to align it

but I'd never thought any deeper about it. Right. But everybody's talking about the dot on the base of the McDonald's buns. Yeah, I know exactly it. When you have it upside down And there's a little white But it's like as soon as it was a flower

A flower No it's where the skin You know like where the brown bit has come off No it's a bit of flour that's like left there Nah In the baking process Yeah it's a dot of flour I reckon I

God we were talking about this yesterday I At any given moment I could go a Maccas Do you know what I mean Like at any given moment I could go a Macca's Yeah We were going for a walk And then we saw the McDonald's sign I was like any moment I could have a Macca's

So what's the story behind the dot? Well, everybody's like, there's mystery about it. There's a Reddit post from four years ago, so this must be one of those things that does around on the internet, like are you washing your clothes right and how often should you change your sheds? Yeah, and what's that dot on the plane window?

Yeah. That's self-explanatory, though. That's a pressure release. Pressure released. Somebody said that's actually the burger's belly button and that's the no-no zone. Producer Gillies, you know what we're talking about, though, the dot on the bottom of the bun.

Yeah, there's always one. And you don't think about it until it's made aware to you that there's always a dot. Yeah, there's. It is, it's always there. Yeah. And I've never thought about it being a McDonald's only thing either. How do they get the middle bun for the Big Mac? I just thought about this.

It's just another bottom. No, it's not. But there's no dot and it's... No, it's not. No, they cut it, right? I don't Big Mac. Wait, is it? I don't Big Mac. I've never had a Big Mac in my life.

Oh, I love the Big Mac. Does it have the... I thought it's a whole... Where is the bun and they cut it? Yeah, that's what I always thought. I thought. I thought we had a tall bun. No, but it's like, there's something about it. Is it thinner?

Yeah. It's thinner, that's why. I never thought about this. I never thought about this. Is it like the white bit on both sides? Yeah, it's white on both sides. It has to be a middle. Yeah, no, there's no crust.

That's why it's the middle. That's why it's a tall bun with the middle cut out. But you can't have that. It's got to have, when it's baked, it's got to have brown around it. So where's all the wastage going? Where's the top and the bottom of the middle? It's a tall bun. It's one single bum that's a little bit taller.

Tall buns don't insist. Right. Well, I never check my burger every time for the white dot, but I've seen it. I eat my burgers upside down. So I always see it. Okay, so I asked Chad, Chats says McDonald's buns have a small white, um, edible dot printed underneath that helps staff in the kitchen,

quickly identify the type of bun when assembling burgers. Different burgers have different buns, regular quarter pounder, seated, steamed, etc. No. I'm the steamed bun on a filial fish, am I right to? Do they have different bands? Oh, like, you know, when you go get a pie and they put like a little X on top and you're like mint. Yeah, mint.

Or they have pastry symbols, like triangles or diamonds or squares and they know. Oh, gosh. Okay. We've got an answer on the middle slice on Big Mac too. Okay. We're wrong. It wasn't a tall bun.

Told you. It's called the club layer, the middle layer. Oh, like a club sandwich. Something that they can't on it. It isn't something they cut on the, spot, it comes pre-baked that way from the bun supplier. How do they get rid of the crust? McDonald's doesn't take a regular bun and slice it into thirds in the restaurant as often thought.

Yeah, you idiot. You would just say. You were just... Instead, bakeries at supply produce a special three-part sesame seed bun just for the Big Mac. It's got the top of the sesame seeds, the club, the club and the hill, which is called the crown, the club and the hill. Oh, I love it. The heel. The crown of the hill.

That's good. So the top of the sesame seeds, club in the middle, bottom bun. And the buns are right at the store that are already separated into those three pieces. But how does it not have the crust? How do they bake it? You how do you bake without a crust? Or do they start it at the bakery? You 100%.

They're trimmed off the top like you would a cake, you know, to flatten it. It never looks cut, though. It looks like real like it's that's how it's made. What if? Should we get a big mat? I put to you. I put to you. Okay.

They make a whole loaf and then bread slice it. You've nailed it. You've nailed it. That's what they do. They make a rounded return. It's not vertical. It's landscape. I never thought about it landscape.

It's a landscape. Oh my goodness. It's long. Slice, slice, slice, slice, slice, slice. You're incredible Vaughn. Thank you. Wow.

Now Shannon's done. Shannon's going to walk into a bakery and else for a landscape life. I should have ordered a Big Macs actually. We get a big mat. Yeah. Can we use the show credit card? Yeah.

No, Haley Max did out on a dog. Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley. Heyley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that a silly little boy, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. No. Nope.

I don't think that works. Baby boy. Sill a little pole. Do you cybersdork someone before a date? That's today's silly little pole. Oh, what got us here? You actually don't know. I can't remember.

But 100%. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I was literally just having a little cyber stalk. Someone slid into my DMs. Really? Who we got? Who we got?

Someone who saw me at the host in the real estate awards. Oh. Oh, hello. You didn't get yourself a rich real estate agent. Yeah. I was like, whoa, whoa, when you're selling Hearn Bay properties, I'm interested. I'm having a little looky poo. You got it.

You've got to. And then if someone doesn't have so. social media. It's a couple of red flags. What are they hiding? A partner? Why not? Yeah. Not to be confused with two red and yellow flags that you swim between in the ocean. No. Well, that's just for safety. That's for safety. That's good.

Well, we are certainly in the majority. 82% said, yes. Have a little cybersdom book before you go on a date. 18% of people said no. Michael said, I don't date. But every new person at work or a my life, gets the old cyberstalk treatment before a meeting. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you worked in an office, how soon would you, like, add people on, like, Instagram or

socials? Because... Yeah, I'd just rather keep them off. Same. Do you know what I mean? Especially on the weekends. I'm out with my cocktails and, you know, like, I don't know. And then you can't go and just pull a sickie if everyone's following you and seeing that

you're in Australia doing a long weekend. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Carly said, it's the safety issue, dear. It is, I completely agree, Carly. Oh, yeah, totally. Like, are you a normal person? Do you do normal things?

Because serial killers don't have Instagram. That's a fact. No, Jeffrey Dahmer didn't. He didn't have social media. All the biggest ones. I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was on LinkedIn. Oh, was he? I think he was on LinkedIn.

Looking for connections. Dana said, although I did, although it can be a trap because I thought my now fiance had a kid due to cyber stalking, Turns out he's just a really good friend and hangs out with his mate's kids lots. Oh, yeah. You do see kids in, like, profiles there and you're like, yours or are we uncle? Yeah.

Yeah, we're playing faux uncle. Yeah. Sudo uncle. I casually googled a guy the day before I met him purely to find his Insta, and first link was to an article about how we got arrested and went to jail. So that was a... Okay, see? This is why we do this.

But then also, is there a part of you that's like I could change him? Bad boy. Like, second chance is the right one? Yeah. Was it hot in Jack? Like, was it hot? Do you have tattoos? Like, how bad was the crime? What are we talking? I don't know. She doesn't say. You know what I mean? Only met up with my now husband as we had mutual friends in common knew that if something went wrong in the first date, I'd have someone to go to. The sad relative dating as a girl. Happy to say no red flags and he's the best husband. Shout out John from Scotland. Lovely.

Shout out. Shout out John from Scotland. Great husband. And Kat said, I very naively didn't stalk my now husband before flying from Invercago to Auckland to Auckland to. meet him for the first time. I guess, um, I assume the best in people. Lucky he wasn't crazy, I suppose. Wow. You do that. So she flew from Invercoggle to Auckland. That safety thing's an interesting thing,

that'll be a good, if you went on a date and you stalk their social media, to send the profile to your pals and be like, this is who I'm going on a date with. Yeah, yeah. Totally. This is it. This is it. Oh, just like you. We just have you on fine friends and worry, we're your daughters.

You text us. You text us. Like a girl hasn't thoroughly sent any potential date to the girls' group chat anyway. Yeah, they'll know this guy inside out. Yeah, we've all seen her. 100%. So, Facilietal poll, we said before you go on a date with someone to your cybers talk to them, and 82% of you said yes.

Play Z-N's, Fletch Vaughan and Haley. So during the preliminary rounds of the Miss Grand Philippines competition. Oh, okay. So I don't know if this is adjacent to the Miss Universe. You know what I mean? And then they go on to compete against other countries, perhaps. The Calocan city representative, Ariane Villariel. You're really good at your Philippinez.

So great. Grazie. Such great pronunciation. Grazie. That Spanish, but okay. But they were, no, she might be on to something there. Of course, the Philippines colonized by the Spanish. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. So she's caused controversy. Miss Arianna Villardial. Because during the evening gown segment of the Miss Philippine's competition. I'm assuming where they come out in an evening gown. I had no idea you were so into pageants.

I'm big into pageant. I had no idea that you, okay. I honestly can't believe pageants are still going and it's still a thing. Isn't that weird? They're trying to make them more sort of positive these days, but... I don't know how. Anyway, so she was... And they're trying, and for that we say Salamapu.

Yeah, right, do we? Thank you, because I Google Thank you in Filipino. Yeah, and I say the same thing as well. We still have to try that Filipino meatloaf. You did. Lady David Correos, we've moved to Sydney. Mine actually.

Did he? Yeah, he lives in Sydney now. Comedian David Correos, who promised you? Message him for the recipe. Well, we're going to Sydney, we would say to him. I'm just, yes. Give us some bloody meat life when we arrive, please. Anyway, so she is walking down in her evening gown,

beautiful, glittery, green, green, goes lovely. Her skin, lovely evening. What a lovely evening. So far, no controversy. No controversy so far. We're just looking beautiful. She releases her arm like this, which is when we realize that she's...

It's a dude. No, no, no. Okay. Classic move. But no, no, no. She releases some live butterflies, real-life butterflies. Now some flush her away. Others drop to the ground.

That's what I was going to... Butterflies have super fragile. You don't... You don't touch the wings. Like, even if they get human fingers on their wings, don't they? The oil off our fingers. Yes, so it reveals that she's been cupping them the whole time. There's multiple.

So she had handfuls of butterflies. Yeah. She releases them in a symbol, intended as a dramatic and symbolic show of tradition. Yep. She releases them, some fly, some fall to the ground. Others get immediately trampled. Oh, Jesus. She walked on some.

She walked on some. No. And obviously, the internet's gone crazy. Not just animal rights activists, but everyone just being like, oh, we're not doing that. Because we don't do that. We don't do that. But, you know, you see some people at weddings, you know,

and they hold them and they release them like that. Yeah. Get a dove. Get a dove in a cage. It's not the answer. It's my favourite, though, when they release doves at weddings and they go, and they fall to the ground. I just love it.

I just love it. I just love it. Yeah, the bird's so stunned. They're like, oh, my God. You've disorientated this bird. It's not ready to fly. So lots of previous contestants have been speaking out against this. And she's done a statement being like, no, this was, you're supposed to honour tradition,

a gesture of hope, freedom and transformation. Oh, wait, so she's doubling down on it. She was like, I reflect on the moment and I respect what people are saying. Yeah. We're doing our best upon a story. That's not a sorry. It's the worst story of red. It's a bad sorry.

It's an apology with a butt in the middle. Producer Shannon, you were saying this has happened before, though. Yeah, famously on Rupal's Drag Race Season 10, It was the big finale lip sync for The Crown. It's this huge moment. And they do it in front of a live studio audience. It's not the normal TV show. It's the big moment.

And this queen called Asia O'Hara came out. And it was to Nasty by Janet Jackson. Nice. And she's got all these butterflies on her costume and these big, puffy things. And through the song, she does these reveals and opens up her outfit to reveal what she hoped was live butterflies. But was just like maybe a hundred dead butterflies.

butterflies, not one of them living. And she kind of, you can see in her eyes, she's trying to think, maybe people think they're alive. So she kind of grabs some of the dead ones and goes, ha, and kind of launches them like a dove. They're like, maybe it's fly, and it doesn't. All of them hit the ground.

Oh, wait, were they alive when they were put in there? Well, you'd hope so, but I'm guessing the lights, the amount of time it would take to film the finale. They were swaddled in there getting bruised and dying. In a large man's outfit, essentially. And she lost and it's one of the funniest moments in drag race history Like it's still reference to this day I need to find the clop of this

Because that's quite funny So essentially they had been suffocated in these containers On the outfit And I just find it so funny that this Miss Philippines contestant has done this When famously, I've never seen a live butterfly performance go well I just love that I just went on her Instagram I want to let everyone know how sad and heartbroken I am by the way, my lips swing performance

during the finale of Rupall's drag race turned out despite months of research and rehearsing with a professional company, what I hope to be an amazing and safe display of optimism turned to not go as planned. I would like to probably offer the entire world my deepest apology. The entire world.

Yeah, well, it's a global show form. Yeah, well, all seven billion of us. Yeah, you've got to apologise in the entire world when something goes wrong. Oh, my God, guys, it's on YouTube. Just have a great day. Have a great day. Hayley. Play Z-D-M's flesh-won and Haley.

From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Pope Leo, the XIV, 10, one before five, 14th. Pope Leo the 14th is said to be planning to ask a number of to be flatmates if they want to live with them when he moves into the papal apartments later this year. Because it's like a big 10-bedroom place. Obviously he doesn't want to be alone. We're rattling about in there. No, of course. Like Palace.

It does scream. He's going to live in there. Pope Francis didn't. Didn't they? Where did he live? Somewhere else. Just in a local Airbnb. Keep a chill.

Okay. It's 10 rooms and there's 16th century apartment. They're being renovated currently. Three or four of his brethren set to move in with him. That just screams. That just screams. Undercover boyfriend. The Pope's Peruvian personal secretary.

Oh, what are we all? Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. Father Edgard. Rima Guna is expected to be one of those who lives alongside him. Oh, okay. We're all one of the bloody Peruvians special personal secretary.

You can tell you what? It wouldn't mind or have you, bloody secretary my Peru. Have you know what I'm shrieing? Just like how your granddad, you know, had a special flatmate many years ago. Yeah, lots of hunting trips. Yeah.

Yeah, uncle's never married, but he's got a flatmate. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they bought a house together. They're not together, but, you know. And they're both named Matt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the signs are there.

Yeah. Anyway, we joke, we jest, we kid around And here's six, the top six annoying things About having the Pope is a flatmate Number six on the list You're constantly having to ask him to move the Pope-Mobile So you can get your car out Oh my God

He won't leave the keys on the bench Nothing worse than when all the flatmates have cars And there's like four cars in the driveway And you do, you've got to leave the keys on the bench You've got to leave the keys on the bench But he won't Because it's the Pope Mobile Not the Haley Mobile

Well you could do that thing Where you're all at like 9 o'clock You're like, oh should we move them Oh, who's going first? We'll do it in the morning. No, just wake me up. And that right-away situation where if there's two houses down the driveway

and someone just parks that, oh. Yeah, it's frustrating. Number five on the list of the top six annoying things about having the Pope is a flatmate. He's constantly doing loads of whites in the washing machine and using all the nappy sand. Oh. Always whites.

Yeah. Anyone got any whites? Yeah. Just don't go to white loads. No, you're the only one in this house that wears white. Please don't use all the nappy sound Because I'll get stains I need to get them out

Number four on the list Of the top six annoying things About the Pope is a flatmate Sunday mornings Never quiet No Always so much singing Making a racket

Getting the chairs out Yeah So noisy And then the chanting and the singing And the mass happens Number three on the list Of the top six annoying things About the Popes of Flatmate

Are always using all the crackers From the flat shop As the bread Buddy of Christ Have some friends over You just want some cheese and crackers and he's eating them all. He's eating them all.

Nann's funeral recently because it was a full Catholic situation. Oh, yeah. My kids aren't, like, was their first time in a church and everything about it just blew their mind. Like, we were equal parts laughing and crying throughout the funeral service.

Yeah, that's quite nice. But I'm, because I grow up Catholic. I can go up and get the bread and the wine. I can do the communion. And my daughters are like, we've got to try that wafer. I was like, I'll bring you back at the wafer. And I don't know if that's some sort of holy sin.

But I went, a body of Christ. And he put up my hand and I went, Amen, and then went, whoops, slide a hand, the cracker's gone. Gone. And then get back to the thing, pull it out, and all of my, my daughters and all my nieces are like cracking it a little bit, some of a, it's not a great cracker. No, it's a shit cracker. They were all really disappointed.

Need some cheese. If they want people to start going to church, they need to do those pink wafer icing. Pink wafer club. I'm going to keep on praying at the pink wafer club. I'm going to keep on bowing at the, you'd get them there. You'd get them there. Yeah, if it was hundreds and thousands. And update the songs.

Yeah. The same songs from when I was a kid. Get some Gaga. Yeah. Some Chapel. Some Ed Sharon. Yeah. Update the playlist.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the... Nope. Number two on the list of the top six annoying things about the Pope is a flatmate. Always setting off the smoke alarm by walking through the house singh and the incense. Oh, gosh. They're sensitive, those things. Oh, they'll go off.

You want them to be, though. You want them. Yeah. You'll be safe. And number one on the list of the top six annoying things about the Pope is a flatmate. He uses all the shelving and storage in the house. for his hat collection. Oh my God, so many hats.

They take up and you have to lower the shelf because they're so tall. They're tall hats. And you can't just like stack the hats. No, you can't stack the hats. They've got to be sat individually, the hats on their special little hat mounts. That is today's subsets. Play ZDM's flesh, one and Haley. I don't know countrywide what the weather was doing yesterday.

Someone said it was nice in Wellington for a moment, you know, lovely breakthrough. Well, when we get these cold southerlies, it's normally pretty good over most of the country. They are my favourite. Yeah. Also, the snow fields got smashed. I think I read Turu. I had like 120 centimetres of snow. Oh, my God.

So if you were thinking about it heading there for the weekend, I'd be getting amongst. And I know the South Islands had a top up too. Yeah, a bit of cloud for the South Island, but most of the country is looking pretty good. Yeah. A cloud maybe on the east of the North Island, but yeah, more blue skies today. Well, I came out of an appointment yesterday. Oh, my God, I got Botox in my jaw for my teeth grinding. Oh, yeah.

How's that going? I don't know. Oh, I don't know. No, you just look the same. Yeah, you don't, you don't, nothing should look different. It'll just stop me from, my teeth. Rinding your teeth. Anyway, so I came out of the clinic and I, um, oh, yeah, more on an awkward moment in the clinic, by the way, soon.

More on that soon. However, I came out of the clinic and I was just like, oh, I felt the sun on my skin and it was beautiful. So I text Fletch because we haven't been able to. Nice to feel something after Botox. Hey. Certainly ain't your forehead. Yeah. Anyway, and I went, wow, but my face didn't reflect that.

You went, where? This is a great day. Anyway, so I came out and I, Fletch and I... It's so lovely. It's good and nothing happier. I'm so happy about this weather. This is my favourite shots of days. Anyway, so I came out and I was like, oh my God, it's gorgeous.

And Fletch and I was saying that when we want to be walking more because we couldn't be lifting weights to your shoulder. And so I text Fletch and said, let's go for a walk. And he said, yes. When you messaged the group, I was already out for a run. And you said gorgeous day for it. Gorgeous day for a run. No more convincing need it.

Turn out. We hit the pavement. And we're walking along the waterfront. Stunning, wasn't it? It was just beautiful. I won't say before this incident happened, Haley did make me get a margarita at a bar. A frozen margarita. Wait, was that margarita pre-walk.

It was during. I thought that was a hot girl after. No, Hayley. Literally halfway through. Haley was like, well, you know, be rude not to me. I was like, Haley, no, this is fitness. Oh, this guy. Fitness, Margarita in my mouth.

You, like, you can imagine, Vaughn, just how difficult it wants to drag him into this place. I said only one. I do like this. I see only one. Yeah, I like this. Yeah, this is what happens when Haley stays with me. She's a bad influence. Yeah. And I have takeaways.

Anyway, so, Margarita aside, we were enjoying the beautiful waterfront taking in the bridge and everything. And you could see everyone was just relishing. the day and then a moment of quiet and peace and we just hear bhr-h-h-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I would say louder than that. Oh yeah. Like, the most

classic fart. Like if you looked up, fart on a sound file library, that's the fire. Like a sound like the perfect far. Like just an undeniable, unapologetic fart. And we both just like turn around. And there's this guy just walking. And no reference to

a fart, no, like him being he, he. No care in the world. I think he was a tourist, right? Like, he didn't care. He doesn't know anyone here. And he was walking with a mate who also didn't acknowledge the fart. But I was like, oh my God, if I farted that loudly in a very peopled area on this sort of tranquil

day, I'd be mortified. Oh, and I wouldn't have let you get away with that if I was walking next year. I'd be like, Haley, I'd make a scene about it. I want to talk about farts, because man, we laughed, and it's just like, farts are funny. I want to know, where did you let a fart slip out

in like an awkward moment and it was an embarrassing moment. How good was school assemblies on those hard wooden bench seats Yes, all the floor. Yeah, I was sitting on the floor and you'd fart onto it and the acoustics of that hard long bit of wood would

vibrate it down, reverberate around it was almost musical. And then like 200 heads turned towards you and like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It happens in the gym all the time because you wear headphones and you don't think about it. And then sometimes someone might turn around You're like, oh oh, I've been caught

Do you know where it happens far too often? The bedroom During, oh yeah Intimate moments Oh yeah Yeah You know what I mean Okay well like we're all adults

We are We're all a bit tooty We are We want to ask the question this morning 0800 dials at M Give us a call Text in 966 When did you let a fart slip out

At an embarrassing moment Oh like a funeral or a wedding Oh I like bring to the wedding Old people up front of the funeral. How good. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. Now, we were out for a walk yesterday

and it absolutely heard a man let rip in the tranquil sunshine of the Auckland waterfront. I want to know, though, when did you let a fart slip out in an embarrassing moment? And I tell you what, I reckon there's trauma coming out. It was so good.

It was so loud. It was so loud and proud. There were probably like 50-odd people around too. Oh, yeah, and everyone would have heard it. It was very loud. Casey, when did you leave? let one slip, and it embarrassed you? Technically, it wasn't me.

Okay. However, it was my wedding day, and my father-in-law was crop dusting everyone the entire night. He thought it was absolutely hilarious. I mean, people were clearing out rooms and stuff like that. I mean, we laugh about it now, but it was definitely one for the books. Oh, God. Oh, no, that's... Probably those rich canapes, canapes.

It was, oh, it will be, it'll be the olives and the canets. The salmon, the salmon, salmon rips right through those old boys. That'll get through them. Thanks, Casey. Jerry, what, what happened? Oh, I'd just been introduced to my co-worker, who's a student teacher. I'm a teacher. We were in a nice, small, quiet, photocopy room, and I dropped one.

Oh, it just kind of came out. Yes, did. Oh, no. Can I ask, Jerry, did it smell? No, no. No, not as all. Ironically, I had just scuffed my foot along the carpet, and it sounded like a fart,

and I thought, he's probably going to think that's a fart, and then I did. Right. Yeah, your body is just kind of like, lets it happen once it's just, it believes to be a safe zone. Yes, yeah. Because you hardly knew this guy, did you acknowledge it? Not at all.

Yeah, okay, go, and keep going, keep going. No, no. I bet he told a piece of it all. Yeah. I bet he did. That money did. Jerry just absolutely let one rip. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, Jerry, thanks. not the only one. Deby, Debbie, where did this happen? Yeah, years ago when I was 17. Yeah, and where did you let the fart slip out? It was on an airplane. Oh, that's a safe zone. That's a safe zone. I far or flight.

You don't hear them. No, it's not when you've had a few drinks and you're just young and you've got your headphones on and everyone can hear you. Oh, no. It was so bad. But mine smell like roses, so I was okay. But, you know, I've heard that when you work at the airport and you're the person that opens the plane door from the outside after a long flight, you don't want to be a climatized still when you're in the plane. But that smell, it's just like a wall of farts. Feet and bodies and farts.

Yuck. Oh, I'm horrible. Yuck. TB, thank you, Ricky. What happened? Mickey. Morning, good morning, guys. When I was younger, I was on some medication, some keto.

I wasn't too well. But anyway, I was a hockey game. and walking through sort of the reserve team on the other side and accidentally dropped one, completely silent, but if you ever smout a medication far, my gosh, it's... Oh, goodness. Walking through, I thought, yep, I've made it, nobody's noticed me, and they're all going,

oh, my gosh, what was that? But then my uncle turns around and goes, Ritchie, what was that? Oh, okay, so he dropped you in that. Did you play, and I would have played into the... I'm sick. You know what I'm really unwell? You can't believe me.

I'm actually on chemo. I don't think that matters to kids when they're bullying. Yeah, they don't care. They're like, shut up, chemo. No, they don't. Thanks, Ricky. Some messages in. I was getting a nice massage.

Lovely and relaxed. The petite massage lady stood on my back, and it just let out an extremely loud bottom burp. I laughed so, so much that the lady slipped off my back and fell on the floor, which made me laugh and fart once again. Oh, gosh. I was lying on my back during adult fun times, being a pillow princess as I'm known to do. and my partner pushed my legs up.

Yep. That's happened to me. And the fart just started, like burping you. I talk about it in one of my stand-up shows. The guy lifts the legs and, and it releases like a child. This just said it just kept coming, and he found it so fascinating.

He just pushed the legs further and the fart came out. Hey, Big Sandy's text in. I tried to do a big... Get out of town! What she said? I'm so sorry. Big Sandy here. I tried to do a big fart at work

to impress everyone, that's how Big Sandy is we're allowed to do. I ended up shard it and I got sent home early. Sandy. Come on, Big Sandy. Oh, God. Calm down. We need to feed all of Big Sandy's texts into

AI and be like, generate an image of what you believe the person who's telling us these stories looks like. Yeah. I love this many, many years ago I farted during the 100 metre hurdle sprint at literally the moment I was hurdling over. So, chopping your left.

Well, maybe extra power. Did they win the racks? Yeah, maybe. I was using the squat rack beside somebody else at the gym. They had headphones on. They were grunting, but every time they got to the bottom

of the squat, they'd fart. And they'd say, it was so funny, I had to stop doing my squats because I was laughing so hard. I was going to hurt myself. This is, I would never teach again. I was a teacher, and I was teaching a class of year nine.

Oh, no. Now, that's rough, third four, year nine. They were silent sitting a test. I sneezed and lost control of my sphincter, farting loudly. Please tell me they all just laughed. You'd have to, right? She said I was hoping the sneeze was so loud that I got away with it. Lost, I sneezed and lost control of my sphincter is a great sentence.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshwon and Haley. Now, G-Flipp, who's an Aussie musician. They play the drums and sing And they're like Yeah Like a cool Jojo Siwa Okay

With talent Right They married A famous reality star That's what I know about Gflip But that's not what I want to talk about Because Gflip does a thing Because they live in America

Yeah They do this thing on their TikTok That is all about Aussie culture And one of the things that they shared was the idea of a pen license, which of course we have here in New Zealand. You write with a pencil as a child until you sit your little test

to make sure you can write tidy enough and then you get granted your pen license. Yeah, because then you don't need to rub it out because you know how to use your pen. Because I know how to write. Yeah. So I can do a pen. Is this still a thing?

Did your kids do this? No. I don't remember. And I didn't do it either. You didn't have pen license. No. But I see you writing with a pen all the time. But I remember.

It's unlawful. I'm a sovereign citizen. of the pen. No, I'm sorry. I was born here and I don't have to obey your rules. I don't know. I don't know what our sovereign citizens say.

It was still the same though, right? Like you would transition from... Yeah. Did you get a pen license? I can't remember. I got one. It was a whole thing. I was excited.

And then other people got pen licenses earlier. Oh, because they had better writing. Well, so I found out there probably put that to the side now because it's shaming some kids. Because I got crap handwriting. Yeah, you're not ready for a pen. Do you know what this is,

do you know what this makes sense, though, Vaughn, because your handwriting is so embarrassing. It used to be really good. It used to be something to behold. My father was proud of my handwriting. Yeah, you have some of the most atrocious handwriting for now. I wish it would be better. I wish it would be better again. Yeah, totally.

Whereas I've got quite cute handwriting. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you know what? Another one that they shared was winning a meat pack at a raffle, which again is another New Zealand and Aussie thing. And then the Americans like, why would you want to win that? And we're like, for a barbecue. Yeah, man.

the, if it's a big one, chuck in the freezer or pull it apart and cook the sausage tonight and keep the land roast for tomorrow and who doesn't want to win free meat? What are you talking about? I don't, I was like, what more would you want to win?

What do you win at a raffle in America? Probably a gun. Probably a shotgun. Yeah, a sawn-off shotgun. Four litres of straight whisky sort of. Yeah, yeah, a big, like multi-gallon whiskey. Yeah.

You know, probably. Win a, like an F-150 truck or something. Yeah, probably. A real big truck with dual wheels on the bit. Get a tray of sort of questionable meat. Yeah. Definitely not free range. Or our friend Matt, who is a teacher who is $149,000, is what Judith Collins said. I was like, no, he doesn't.

He does, Judith Collins said. And if he's not, Judith Collins says it's his own fault for not trying harder. Yeah, and no, he said haven't heard of them in years. Maybe it's an old-time thing. Yeah, I think they would have definitely is one of those things when some kids got it and some kids didn't. It would be the shame thing. There'd be the shame thing, which the teachers are moving away from. And I've always said it's a huge mistake to move away from shame-based education.

Shame-based education. Well, that's how I learn. It's how I learn all of my things. I do my seven times tables. They'll be like seven times four and I'll be like seven. But I'm what are you dumb? Yeah, dumb, dumb, dumb, come on, dumb-dum. You'll never be anything.

Then they'd shave your head. Yeah, stick you in the corner. Yeah. Put you in the choky. Yeah. Yeah, you'd go down in the lift to the cold range. mine. Yeah.

Man, it was crazy times, hey comes another dummy down the coal mine, they'd say. Who's that? Is that old dipship? Up the hallway. Yeah. Man.

See what? When they're rejigging this, NCEA. I reckon we bring back shame-based learning. I'm for it. I've asked when kids

get pens. They just start using it per year level. Oh, so they're probably giving a pen to a bloody five-year-old that's got no idea. I'm just like,

what do I do with this? Play. ZM. Spletch Bourne and Haley. What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby?

What's your jobby? New Zealand's most hated radio segment is back. Yeah, we do actually. People get so upset. Yeah, they don't like... They're deadheads, they say? Yeah, guys, suck. Why it riles them up so much.

Sometimes, I don't check the text machine during, but sometimes I'll look after, because I can't have that negativity during my work time. And some people actually... Have really good questions. So I actually will be consulting the text machine today, 96696. What's a good question? Because if you've never heard the segment on the show before,

we've got three questions to ask a caller. And then at the end of those three questions, we have to surmise what their job might be. Tasha, good morning. How are you? Good morning. I'm good. How are you guys?

Really good, really good. Okay. Does your job require a university degree? No. Okay. We ain't got no doctor. We ain't got no nurse. We ain't got no...

Nursing's not always university, is it? I should have said, does your job require a study? Tertiary study. Yes. I think she understood that. I think we could take that as understood. Hey, I'm sorry. Let's not bully each other.

There's going to be enough of that coming through the text machine. We have to stand united. Okay, so you don't need a tertiary education. Tasha, would you say, Your job is for the betterment of society. Oh, D. Definitely. Oh, okay.

I've really gifted us. The betterment of society, police ambulance. Yeah, but you, oh, yeah, but you, yeah, you said degree. You don't get a degree to be a cop, eh? But, no, they've got to go to police college. You've got to go to police college. You're getting, you're getting in the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need to start shutting it.

You need to shut a dog. We're not allowed to. Any clothes, Tasha. We're not allowed any of us. Any clothes. Tasha, is your job? Does your job happen during the day? What a stupid question.

It can happen any time of the day. But it's a 24-hour service. Okay. This is Po-P-Po. This is Poe-Po or Corrections? Corrections. Because she said when we said, please. Ambulance.

Blamblance. I reckon she's in, what's in the ambulances. Blamblance is. Blambleance is. semblance blaramedics, do they require tertiary education? Sure, yes, yes, it's a degree. Do you know, there's, no, I don't think it is. I think it's study, though.

I reckon she is, and Tasha, don't say anything. You shut your mouth. You shut it. I reckon corrections. Corrections. That's not for the bit of the bitumen. I mean, it is. What are you going to mention there was no one working in the prisons?

Yeah, but you could just crims up. You could just drop the food over in a. helicopter or something from that would be corrections and then you read no I'm saying don't have prisons it's two against one it sounds like he's anti-prison I want to say ambulance get them all free okay fine all right Tasha is your job that you work in corrections no are you a cop no okay good are you a blamblance driver no do you work in the ambulance you don't um okay what's your job I do drug testing Oh! Wow, and so stop for private companies or do you test the drugs at the festivals to be like, yep, that one's, knock yourself out, champ, that is pure.

It's basically like urine samples. Oh, you know that that sort of, you need, you'll go into a workplace and make people pee in a tube. Basically. Do you have to see it coming out of the penis? Not always. Not always, but, okay, so if they're an untrustworthy character, you need to see the, See the penis. I kind of want to ask if you've seen any good penises,

but it's a bit inappropriate, isn't it? Yeah, definitely not. Okay. She might not be into penises. Yeah. There might not be such a thing. I'm not. You are into penis.

She's already got a penis. It sounds like she's already got a penis. Okay. I think we've seen penis too much. I was just want to say it at 7.43. Sorry that you didn't win. And sorry we said penis way too much. What's the percentage wise of people who test positive to drugs in their system?

Um, I would say I'd get probably three or four a day out of maybe 50. What's the worst industry? Oh, yeah. Construction. Really? Oh, my God. And can I ask what kind of drugs can you detect? I won't go into detail.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. I reckon you should rock into a couple of real estate offices. You'll have your bloody work cut out for you. Oh, yeah, definitely. You'll be like, Jesus, it's just pure drunks. There's no liquid in this urine. It's just powdered cocaine. It's popped out of the penis.

Thanks, Tash. That was really fascinating. It was going to more to Tash. That was so interesting. Jessica, good morning. Welcome to What's your jobby. Hey, how are you? Really good, really good.

Do you wear a uniform for your job? No. Okay. Jessica has a sharpness to her. Yeah, she does. No nonsense. Hey, how are you? Like an legal secretary or something.

She's not a time. No, just like, no bullshit. Nah, come on. What's this? Do you work with the body, Jessica? No. Oh, no. She could be like a big PT.

Oh, like a trainer. Come on, shut up. Yeah, another rep. That's how your trainer talks to you. Stop talking, shut up. Wait, move it. Come on jiggly bits. She calls me jiggly puff, my Pt.

She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't. She really celebrates my body. That's shame-based. That's. I return to sort of a shame-based learning. She sings the Pokemon song.

Yeah. She's like, gilly path, chigily puff. She's like, is that you? Is that who you want to be? Worn. Wait till you evolve into a wigglytuff. She's not going to know what at her. She won't.

I love talking about Pokemon on the show. I've had enough Pokemon chat. Jessica's waiting. She's going to have a Pokemon trainer. No, Jessica don't answer that. Okay, so she doesn't work with the body. What did you ask? She doesn't have a uniform.

No. She doesn't work with the body. And the essence is she's no bullshit. And she's not bullshit. Jessica, do you work in a call center? No. She doesn't, what that was. She doesn't get straight for the job.

I went straight for the job. You went straight for the job. Okay, well, that's good. She doesn't work in a call center. Now we have to guess your job. So your question was, do you work in a school? Okay, great. She doesn't work in a call center, doesn't work with the body and doesn't wear a uniform.

And she's giving no bullshit. I'm going to say teacher. Because teachers are no BS. Yeah. High school. I, yeah. Just say a teacher. Let's go teacher.

Let's try it. Jessica. Are you a teacher? No. What's your job, Jessica? I'm an accountant. Oh, my God. Word economy.

God. She's like you're riding off there. Jessica, thank you. Let's go to Brittany. Let's see if we can get a win here. Good morning, Brittany. Morning. Oh, there's something in there.

She's not happy. Can I just say, long-time listener, first-time call? Oh, absolutely. We'll just get the bell. Where's the bell? It was disguised. There we go. Oh, Brittany.

Welcome. Welcome. Thank you. Do you work with... Yeah, do you work with kids? You can, but I don't. Oh, that's brilliant. Some kind of coach.

Some kind of, you know. I was going to say a teacher, but there'd always be... You could be a... University teacher. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut your mouth, Brittany. Shut your mouth, Brittany.

No verbal clues. Are you... Sorry, what was your question? Are you, what are you doing? Are you listening to the show? Yes. He asked you work with kids and Brittany said you can but I don't. And then he was hypothesizing maybe a teacher of sorts.

Okay. Because you could be a uni teacher. Okay. Welcome to the show, Vaughn. Do you, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughn and Haley, you're the middle one. Gotcha. Sorry.

And Brittany, is your listening? Are you seen, is your job seen as sort of an authoritarian? Figure Authoritative figure Like people Oh sorry Yeah people have to like sort of Respect you and

Okay Yes So we've got someone who's So she can work with kids But she doesn't And she has to be respected Yeah Because I would know

No no no no no no Not our Brittany She could be a traffic light She certainly is in a traffic light Oh Britney can you do this for me Ah Diggiggi dig dig digi digi Digging, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.

No, she refuses to do it. She's not, she's not, she's not a traffic, like, yeah. She's no bullshit. I reckon she deals with, uh, she would be exasperated on the daily. Yeah. Like, dealing with these sorts of shenanigans. What about a nurse? Like, you know, like, that would be uniform. People are calling us out for always guessing nurses or teachers.

But, but, but, you, but to be honest, um, so many people are. Have you been to a hospital? They're full of them. Full of them. Full of them. I would say there'd be more teachers. and there's schools are everywhere. If people are upset, you're going, so we're always

going teachers or nurses. Why don't you go? I'm not going to go teachers or nurses. I'm going to ask you a question. No uniform question. Is it the uniform? No uniform. Well, that's, okay, well, you jumped in there, Brayne. That's done. No, she's, you know, she deals with people flipping and flopping and floundering. Yeah. And she's just got, she's got her next.

She's. She is some kind of boss-like creature. I reckon. Creature. Okay, come on, Vaughn. Brittany, oh, you've got to go run that past Brittany. Do you know what I mean? But you can work with children, but I don't.

I reckon, like, it's like in the, I don't even know, I'm blanking on what you call, people who help people, people who are, like, getting back on their feet or, like, a counselor. Through hard times like that, but that, like, social worker. Oh, okay, yeah, right. That's my, that's my guess. Because, you know, she's just like, guys.

Okay. Get on with it. Yeah, come on. Vaughn. Brittany, are you a social worker? Yes, I am. Yeah, there we go. We're back on board.

How did you get that? We're back on board. Man, we needed a win. Yes. She, yeah. Oh, that's your job. That's your joby. That's your joby.

That's your joby. That's your joby. Oh, lucky we didn't go with traffic line. What fools we would have looked. We thought a woman was a traffic. 100 dollars Britney congratulations thank you for your service thank you for your service helping people out you're welcome you spend that hundred on something nice for yourself get yourself something pretty as what i'm trying to say brittany do i don't think you can say that to a woman in 2025 even as a woman

you can't say hey buy yourself something pretty let's just imagine i've sort of chucked the hundred at brittany go and get yourself so pretty play zm's fletchhorn and haley go ahead the dogs out flechforn and haley are bringing herman home this was The purchase that Haley made on the show credit card, a life-size ceramic German shepherd, which is so beautiful in the photos. Yes, and we have lovingly called him Herman the German. I've got to say tip of the hat to the people at Bluebridge

who took Herman from Pacton to Wellington because the photos are so funny. So go, do yourself a favour. I mean, follow along the journey of Herman the German with us, but go on Blue Bridge Fairies Instagram. Oh my god Also Toasty Lord yesterday

Getting him a vet checkup and everything Before he was taken to the Blue Bridge Fantastic thanks to them Producer Carween Hello Is he in Wellington? Yes So last night

I believe that the ferry was a little late There was some turbulent water But Don't call it turbulence in the water Surveillance is in the sky Turbulence is like It's right Tuesday

Yeah Tuesday all the fairies were cancelled So the weather's been crazy. And so I can report Herman is happy, safe on land with our friend Matt. In one piece? In one piece. Oh, guys, I saw people carrying him. I was like, God, I kind of hope he gets dropped. No.

They wait at me so I don't want us to be dropped. They weighed him at the vets. Am I correct? He's in 12 KGs? He's a big boy. But then everyone's told me he's not that heavy. So I don't know. Yeah.

Wow. But so he is with Max. And then today, Max and Herman will. We'll do a little ticky tour all the way to Palmerston North. I mean, he's just getting such a journey. I hope he takes in the square. I hope he takes in the square. Yeah.

Because if you turn into the square, I tell you what, man, it's hard to get out. You're just looping around. He'll go around and around, get a little dizzy. And then our friend Aaron is picking him up. Right. And taking him to Hawks Bay Airport. Oh, my God. Do you know what this mean?

Is he going to meet Judy Drench? He's going to meet Judy Drench. He sure is. This is a show character crossover. Yeah, exactly. I love this. Oh my God, yes.

So what's the next step? He'll stay there for the weekend. Yeah, I think he's going to stay there. Either at the airport or like maybe I'll just ship him off to my mum's. Okay. So we're going to need anyone traveling from Napier on Monday. North. North.

Okay, so if you are traveling from Napier on Monday, north, you can stop anywhere. Totally. Yeah. Or like. Topor Hamilton Anywhere

I reckon that would be a good little stop off Or Rotorua He could go on the luge He might smell though When he comes back He could go in a zor He could go in the gondola He's not going in a zor

He's not going in a zor No But he could go on one of those gondolas He could go on the Ecozip Yeah He would take it with the Polynesian spa He would love the Polynesian spa

He would love that Oh lovely mud bars I love this. Okay, if you are traveling from Napier anywhere north on Monday, message Carwin at ZM Online email her. That would be fantastic. And we'll update you with the latest as we, yeah. Bring out, boy, hide. Play ZM's Fletch, Worn and Haley. The listener's already, bloody, picking up on the brief.

I was going to say we didn't even like officially kick off this phone on topic yet. Yeah. We just kind of mentioned what we were going to talk about. And already we're flooded. Well, as you do, you know, we're all hanging out with our mates, having a drink or two, and sharing experiences with our casual rosters, shall we say. There was some that we couldn't keep up with. We're like, which one is that?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, which one was that? And then, you know, you chuck in the nickname. And then everyone suddenly goes, oh, yeah, and now we know. Because this happened because a friend who we, I won't say the nickname. Also, how funny is this that people think we're actually talking about workplace? rosters. There's a couple of people of messages.

We're talking about casual liaison rosters. Yeah, you know maybe you've got a few on the go at the moment. Well, you just meet someone once and you need to save them

in your phone and you don't want to call them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you call them? Because if you just save in your phone, Brian, you'd be like, which Brian was that? You need a bit of a nickname.

You need a nickname. Because one of our friends used, called their one of their hookups, one of their casual rosters, acquaintances, a different name. And we were like,

What do you, and then, they were using two names. We're like, no, look, you've got to use the one. Who's Sean? You need to use the one nickname. Yeah, and the answer was, veneers. And then we all went, ah. Oh, veneers. And we call him veneers.

They just say veneers. Yeah, because he's got like really obvious veneers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then when we're talking about veneers, we're all, we've got the picture of veneers in our head. So I want to know, what is the nickname? Like, share with us some of the nicknames from your casual fun time roster. I'm a big fan of emojis. Yeah, yeah.

But that's what I love. They tell her, an emoji tells a thousand words. A thousand words, yeah. You know, emoji's worth a thousand words. There's, I mean, there's the Brazilian, the Colombian, and we're like, which Colombian? Big shoulders. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, should we start going through some of them? Yes, sure. We used to call our roster, the roster's always started with old mate and then followed by the car they drove. So, for example, there's a couple of old mate blue highlights. There was an old mate Ford Ranger But then that's a trouble

Because what if What if you got a few on the Because Rangers are everywhere What if you've got three on the roster And they all drove black Rangers Yeah maybe you'd have to go like 2024 Ranger Yeah

Oh 2013 Lift it on Mags Ranger Yeah yeah yeah yeah Old Mags Ranger Ranger Somebody I'm not gonna read that one out God some of these we can't

The, this, the, okay, a person on my casual roster is called Sydney and then a certain type of Pokemon because she's from Sydney and this Pokemon does a thing and the name that is the thing that she does. Rhymes of Turtle. Wow, okay. I've got hot idiot, beautiful disaster and I can't read that last one out. This is crazy.

I'm really good with numbers. I save them under their number plates. What? Old RCC over there. Really? Not long ago I had Big Ryan and Wee, Craig. Also, Mr. Slappy and JTT,

which didn't stand for Jonathan Taylor Thomas. It stood for just that... These are great. This is so great. This is what we want to know. This is what we want to know this morning. 0800 dials at M. Give us a call.

You can text through. I'd imagine mostly text. We're getting so many. I feel like we can even rock a couple of weeks. There was copy paste because he looked like an X. There was Flesh who liked to fly fish. You thought something worse than you Fletch. And Doff, which stood for Daddy.

before. Someone has D-A-4. Did the wife know D-O-F was coming around? Yeah. I'd probably not. I don't know. Maybe they're split up. I love someone has just uploaded to us their entire roster.

It's phenomenal. FIFA, Trash Boy, fireman Jake, spitty-rob, ex-husband Todd, Cyber Dan, F-1 Daddy, Blinking you miss him, Kai Nutcase. This is... Do you think F-1 Daddy was owner of an F-1 team? No, I think he was into F-1.

I want to know more about Prince of Pennsylvania I want to know more about toilet cubicle Sammy What about, or never left Ryan Or you had your charge Sammy These are so good Funny, funny football boy with potential Oh, okay

How did that work out? Barley Daddy dating app A naughty cop net Once a week peep One's a German Lenny, the mathematician The mathematician And tram daddies So one of those guys It drives to trams around Christchurch.

I'm a modern Shakespeare. My cousin does. That'd be being involved in this. That's such activity. Okay, 0800 dial Zat M 966. Give us a text for a call. Tell us the names, the nicknames you use for the people on your casual roster. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley.

Right now, and it's very funny, we're getting so many messages. We want to know what you save your casual friends and your phone as. Yeah, or how you refer to them when you're talking about them to your mates. This is how it's come up. So good. Ladies are living. What we're learning this morning is ladies are living and we're here. I think we should just take a moment.

Let's all take a moment. Especially those people that have someone and people saved in their phone as whatever. Just to think about what you're saved in their phone is. That's just what I want to know. Did you see the cheesy pleaser? Yeah. Yeah. Did you read?

We didn't read that out yet. No. No. I can, no way. Yeah, Fletch already said we have to. The cheesy pleaser because he gave me a yeast infection. So good. I just message our friend James

who loves ordering the cheesy pleaser, which is two cheeseburgers. Yeah. Is that correct? You get the special on the app sometimes. Oh, you wouldn't want to be saved in someone's phone as teeth and ears. Oh!

Teeth and ears. What do you think you're saved in someone's phone as? This is what I'm desperate to know what I'm saved as in someone's casual roster. I just would love to know. Hopefully like, oh my God, like 10 and a 10. Yeah, like, oh, the most beautiful girl. in the world, yeah, yeah, precious, hot angel.

Like this, um, Pimply raccoon face. Oh, does that person have a sort of a dark eye, do you think? Oh, God. Can you, read, read, there's so many coming through. Oh, yeah, Contagie John Licky. It's one of the all-time greats. Oh, it's so good. I had one who was saved as seven pumps.

Why, we'll never know. We'll never know. Probably used a lot. Maybe she had expensive handloat in like an ASOP. He used too many pumps. And he used seven pumps. I love Hot Wheels. He was in a wheelchair.

But he was hot. Hot wheels. I had one who's name was Brian, but I called him Monty because of his big python. Monty Python. Jump cables. Oh my God. Maybe that was some guy that gave her a jumper cable hot start. Maybe started it up.

And then got a date. Meth Head Air Force, Psycho and Trial. teeth were the fore that I had in my car. Who you've seen tonight? Oh, it's meth-head. I know, I know, I know. Pimply Raccoan face is terrible. Oh, God, there's a 150 KG rugby prop called Slim because he was shady.

I love that. He was just shady. 99 bikes. McNuggies? Because he was a snack, not a meal. Oh, that's a good. Nice. My friend was seeing a heavily tattooed guy.

He was saved on her phone as coloring in book. Oh. Oh, my gosh. And every time she'd see him, she said she was going to go do some colouring. That is the best. Publick a trap. Haley, we don't read that one out. Zero uses contact details you have in your phone for invoices.

My friend got an invoice from his landscaper addressed to his first name followed by Hot Wife in brackets. Simon Hot Wife. So the landscaper had saved Simon as Simon, brackets, the guy with the hot wife. I wonder. That's so good. That landscaping's only happening on weekends. he's home. Yeah, 100%. Goblin King. Because he's goblin.

Oh my God. Someone said all of these names would also be great for race horses. Yes, they would be. You could imagine all of them? Yeah. Like, could you imagine calling a race, like just looking at your screen now with some, could you call a race with some of the names in front of you? We could give it a go. If you go to Eamon someone's phone.

Do you have the track side? Do you have the race calling music? Like race, what would you do? Race call. William Tell. You got something for me? No, there's nothing in the system. Ah, okay.

Guys, well, welcome to the casual roster 500. We're racing today. Of course, I've had a few scratchings. A little tail is jerking. Is out of the race due to foot injuries. And also teeth and ears, friendly giant and crazy Russian have been scratched. So we go to the cross now. And the gates are open, Milt 1 and Milt 2.

Make a strong start as they're coming out the back. Soft track today, so you won't be seeing too many from Bar 101. one 3 a.m guy, but sexy Māori. Oh, I don't want. Sexy Māori before we were married. But we were wondering where Hot Wheels is going to be coming in. 99 bikes because he had 60 of them, making a strong start.

But Mr. McNuggies, because he's a snack, not a meal. Can be expected to be a late earner. Spreadsheets are superannuendo man making a late break now as we were in the final corner for the home strait. But cheese platter guys making a strong run while Monday guys coming in. Hot as they come. We're going in there. We're wondering when hot criminal is going to be made.

making a break, but it doesn't seem to be happening as cheesy pleaser because he gave me a yeast infection. Absolutely bailing from the back. The 150 KG rugby prop called Slim because he's shady is not expected to place today, but airplane dick broke my back is going to be the winner on the day. Bone Daddy, chopper cable's coming in second, and Pocahontas because she was wearing a cultural and appropriate headwear when I met her is coming in third today. Check your box trifectors. Quinellas.

That was good. Another big day down here at the casual contact 500. Back to you in the studio. They do sound like racing. They do. Also, I'd love just catching that. Airplane dick broke my back. Always sneezing, never dust it, of course.

We'll be racing next as we go to the Greyhounds, where we can be seeing ginger nut lady fingers. Gingeredo ladies fingers. Coconut rough and toffee pop. Going to be going. Wow. Again, I will say, though, microgreens. Yeah, who's the pick for the next race?

Micro Greens is race favorite for next race, because... So many messages. Smoked too many greens and he had a micro penis. Oh, man. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you for Race Day again next week. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley. Back to the day. Day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. It's size and scowal week here at Factor the Day, and today we're talking spoons. Ooh, teaspoons, yes. Table spoons, yes, dessert spoons, yes. Okay, salad spoons. Would you, I beg your, this is not a fools, this is not a fool's segment. Soup spoons, yes, there's not a spoons and salad. Ladles.

I guess you could call salad, but you'd call them tongs, salad tongs. No, tongs to be a hinged. Salad. Salad servers, yeah. Yeah, they're not a spoon. Why is one spoon like? And one's always got a pro-a-a-fow-fork appearance. Yeah, stupid. What for?

Pointless. Make them both forky for grabbing or both spoony. God, that's a really keen observation. It's really right for some stand-up comedy. Bags. Write that down. No, you have it, mate. See you're the classic.

A tight five minutes on cutlery. That's what the comedy words. What's the deal with salad servers? Comedy is missing cutlery observations. Yeah. Okay, well maybe there's some more in here. Let's start our deep dive. Okay, you kind of talked about the different sorts of spoons.

Oh, no, we'll get to that. You shut up and wait your turn. Because a teaspoon, as we know it, is not always a teaspoon in a baking way. Correct. But originally it was. It was the spoon that you used to stir your tea because I'd say a spoonful and that would be the spoon that you used at your table. So a tablespoon.

Yeah. If they said a spoonful in medieval and early modern cookbooks, instructions were vague saying something like, add a spoon full of honey. If they needed less, they'd say a teaspoonful. Because it was a smaller spoon that was just used for stirring. Sorry to interrupt. I've just Googled.

There's quite a lot of YouTube clips on comedians doing bits about cutlery. And cutlery drawers. So you may have to go back to the drawing board. No, you just need your unique take on it. Put it in your own voice. Is there anything in there about salad? These salad forks. Well, some guy does go into the throng.

The throne. The second cutlery drawer. The second drawer and how wild. It sounds funny. It is a wild. It's the draw that never shuts because of the... Oh, Fletcher is the worst. The potato masher.

I threw up my potato masher. Do you know how I'm mashing my potatoes now? With a beta. Fingers. Oh. Oh, I do mine with an immersion. Oh, yeah, that's very creamy, though. I like a little bit of roughage of my mashed to-to.

It's more a crem's a teato. It creams. It's a puree. Is this funny? Oh, no, this stand-up comedy person's done a... They've got a favorite fork. Yeah, I've got a favorite fork. and a favorite spoon,

and then I found the kids using my favorite spoon, my favorite teaspoon to put the jelly meat in the cat's bowl there that I was like, oh, I know it could be washed. That's funny? Should I write that down? Because what a reaction I got to do, you guys. I'm going to message Scotty at the classic and get you on a big windspat.

Some cutlery bags. Also, why don't all your cutlery look the same? It does the knives of the forks and the big spoons. The little spoon, the teaspoons, I've got a real mishmash of tea spoons. Same, and where do they come from? I don't know. I think this is a bigger mystery. You should be writing this down.

This is really pretty cold. Why is it always this? We've got a uniform. The original trio, uniformed. I think you've answered the question. Where does all the country at work go? Yeah, yeah. Back home and people's sistema.

No, but it's always the forks that disappear at the workplace. Yeah, it is. My forks are all uniformed. Okay. Funny. Funny. What a funny observation. How observational.

All right. Let's get back to fact of the day. So, there was in the 19th century. as cookbooks became more widely printed and it wasn't just like inherited from family and domestic science gained traction. So this is your baking at home. Oh, yeah.

Things that require a little bit more precise. There was a movement to get some fixed spoon sizes in place. Fannie Farmer enters the stage. What'd you call me? It was one time. The Fanny Farmer. In her Boston cooking school cookbook, she insisted on precise definitions for spoons

and she defined one tablespoon would be made up of three teaspoons and 16 tablespoons would equal a cup or equal a cup. Okay. And thus the movement was born. Here is where it sits at present. Quarter tablespoon, 1.25 mil. Half teaspoon.

I don't know, no, no, no, no. We don't need a breakdown of all the teaspoons. We do because, you know, when you pull out that thing that's all the spoons that sit in each other. Yep. These are the ones that are there. But it housed in a mill because a he has a meal because a heavier, denser product in the same space wouldn't, would be, if liquid.

It's not, wait, it's mils, volume. Half a teaspoon is 2.5. Then a teaspoon is now officially of 5 mils. Yeah. A dessert spoon, which I always thought might have been bigger than a tablespoon, I stand corrected. Is it not? A dessert spoon is agreed upon at 10 mil. Here's where the trouble starts.

Uh-oh. The US and the UK. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. The U.S. and the UK agree that 15 mils is a tablespoon. That's too small. We're with the Australians.

We think a tablespoon is 20 mils. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bigger. Now here's another problem. Because back in the old medicine, uh-oh, the old medicine days where people would just like take a tablespoon of heroin because it was the 1800s and no new age.

Or you know, the Nazis, they were all anphetamined up. Yeah. It'd say, a... Spoonful of these things That it turns out A slight overdosage could end In your premature death Goodness

So it's a spoonful So people would be like Well I don't feel well So I guess I'll take the biggest spoon Yeah Do you want to come over for a spoonful of meth Yeah But they take the whole big table spoon

Not the little spoons So that's weird Why don't wonder they lost the war That's cool Go on this willy-nilly Willy-nilly Amphetamine use So today's fact of the day

Is that Spoons Fact of the day Day, day, day, day, day I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do to do Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley I said I need a locksmith and horns like I can do it my last name's Smith Yeah my middle name's Lachlan I'm Lockhe Smith

Locky Smith. You are not, you don't even know how to fix a door. My middle name is Alan and that's a type of key. That's an Alan Key. Yeah,

you're right. I'm an Alan Smith. He's Vaughn Allen Key locksmith. No, I'm serious. We could try to fix it ourselves before you call a locksmith. Oh my God, just get a locksmith. We're getting a locksman.

You don't know us throwing money around willy-nilly on trades? You don't know a single thing about locks. Not yet. No, yet. I'm going to learn on the job. What's wrong with that? I don't know.

It's a jammy. Well, let's your place it with a new lock. Jammy jiggly. Oh, you can't do that in an apartment because they've got those keys that you can't get. Oh, I forgot. Yeah. Look, anyway, sorry, dear loss. Sorry, that's not what we're talking about.

I just think you give it a go yourself because then if you bugger it up, you call a trade and that's what you're going to do anyway. Yeah, true. Except it with electricity. Because if you bugger it up, you might not be calling anybody, but someone will find your body and have to call the morgue. You'll be calling insurance because your house burnt out. Plumbing. I mean, come on. Oh, my God.

Give it a red hot go. Anyway, sorry. Good morning plumbers. We respect and love. Yo! Anyway, I reckon we could use this. I reckon we could use this as a little reminder to our listeners to choose kindness today. To choose patience and kindness when we're interacting with strangers.

Because yesterday, I did not. As a sovereign citizen, I'm programmed to the minute someone tells me to practice kindness. My immediate, I get flashbacks and jab cinder. And I just want to just insane to everybody. I forgot about that. So yesterday I was off to an appointment and I was like you had to turn into the street

that was like quite a busy street and there's like the car parks there and then the clinics just like right up there. We are all familiar with streets. Yeah, yeah, so it's like as a concrete sort of lined with houses or shops or whatever, it's like a concrete pavement really for cars.

This is you, you were going to get your boathe. Your Botox. But Botox and my mass it is. jaw, grind it, teeth grinding. Yeah. Anyway, so this woman was in front of me. Yeah. And she's turning ripe, and I'm turning right.

That's where the clinic is. She's going in like this, and then she stops at the sort of little bit and is waiting for a car to back out so she can get a good car park. Yeah. And this car does that thing where it backs out a bit, but then we learn it's actually straightening up.

Right. You know what I mean? When you're like, oh, there they are. And then it kind of backed out. She was sitting there, clogging the street for bloody ages waiting for this car to back out but the car had stopped the car wasn't backing out

so she's just blocking it so all I did was lean aggressively on the horn and give a casual with my hand wait how how give me the horn sound me me okay so that's not a friendly horn

no no it's aggressive that's friendly one of those ones no I went me me me me Why don't cars have pre-programmed, you know, like, friendly, nice friendly pip? Just a button, just a button that's, hey, yeah, the light's gone green. Yeah, or like, hey, you're bloody.

Is it Tesler's you can pre-program sounds? Yeah, see, that's what you need. I know, but people program them to be like, uh-huh. Oh, how embarrassing. He'll, you're like, oh my God. Yeah. Please, oh my God, there's so-and-so. He'll will.

Yeah. Anyway, so I'll say a semi-aggressive toe and a hand gesture to move. So she starts moving, right? Yeah. Then she does that thing where she goes on, because I've tutored her on, then that car backs out and I get the park. Okay, that's great. She sees this happen, right?

And I was like, huh, oh, well, you know? That's life, isn't it? That's how life works. So then I walk up the stairs for my appointment. Yeah. And then they're like, cool, it'll just give us a moment, and I sat in the waiting room. and then that woman also walked into the waiting room

and we clocked each other and I thought about going sorry about my aggressive toot but I didn't I just sat in the awkwardness of having been I'll say it rude to this lady Yeah yeah And I had to confront the fact that You know it's not anonymous when you're rude to people like that

No You know she's a woman Well because normally you don't see the people that you're toot at They're in front of you, you're just like toot They go Or you do toot and you go around them and you look and you're like, I hope they don't decide to chase me. That's not the sort of person I want following me home.

No, no, no. Well, no, I had to sit in a quiet room with her and for her to be like, you little tart. So I do apologise to her for ruining her day, but she should have moved it a bit earlier, and thank you for the car park. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley.

Relationship therapist has said the four words guaranteed to piss off your partner and the moment you hear that you'll be like, yep. Okay, Georgia, do you think this would work with your new husband Well, yeah, but I was just trying to count. What would your four words be? Why are you grumpy? Oh, why are you grumpy?

Why are you grumpy? Oh, no. No, but why are you grumpy and George? Okay, because you've got a very lovely tone. So you'd be like, why are you grumpy? Like, like, it would be lightning in the mood. You say it how you just said it. Why are you grumpy?

Yeah. You've got nothing to be grumpy about. Why you grumpy? Yeah. Yeah, come on. Tone counts here. Tone counts here. No, that's not the four words.

that they mention the four words are it's up to you do you know what are we having for dinner tonight Georgia it's up to you guys that's me to a day is it's my problem my most use vocabulary

is you're removing yourself from any responsibility but you're not doing it you're just like what do you're easy right I just don't care it's because you're not sharing responsibility what do you want to watch

is different though what do you want to watch what's up to you oh no that really was home up when I'm like I don't care and he's like and then he'll put something on And I'm like, that sucks. And he's like, well, what do you want to watch?

You do care. You do care. I also hate it. I don't care. I tell my daughters, I'm like, don't say, if someone's like, oh, what do you want for dinner? Say, I don't care. Don't say that.

I don't mind as much nicer. I don't mind. I'm open to suggestions. I don't care shows. No, I don't like it. And then it's like, well, then I, why am I going to all this effort to cook you first? Yeah, yeah, exactly if you don't care. No, it's up to you.

I hate. It just is like, okay, so everything like that's with that. Now, it's my responsibility. yeah and they're not in the mood for that yeah you've gone to all that effort do you want to go do you want to go out and um play some mini part yeah it's up to you oh i feel triggered are you having a mirror held up to you right now seriously am do you want to you indicates i'm happy to do what you have suggested but if you're like what do you want to do it's up to you then you're you're at a loggerheads yeah no one's made a reasonable

suggestion. Either way, you're just coasting. I coast by. Because you're just going, you make all the decision. But literally, just doing an up to you and then not actually been happy when you've left it up to them, that's you're going to be divorced in 10 years. How about an up to you after they've given you

a couple of options and then you go, well, it's up to you? As long as you're okay with either of those options. Yeah, but if I've suggested the options and they've gone, oh yeah, and I'm like, well, it's up to you then. that because then it changes the attitude too because then you're happy with either both you are happy with either

yeah that's okay well but not offering anything and then saying up to you or I don't care well Georgia has secret sound coming up at midday and it's up to you if you listen it actually is up to you 25,000 dollars though freedom of speech freedom of will

are you playing songs it's up to you do you want some songs I'm in a ring of time you yeah that was my tum-tum That was my tun-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon it was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Not for me, Vaughan.

Oh, no, nowhere even close. No, nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, won't you give us a little review and a rating? Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.