ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - August 25th 2025

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

How do we find Hayley Onlyfans Stats SLP - Vapers: Do you vape inside? New viral internet question Top 6 Signs your gmail has been hacked Netflix live voting Digital drivers licenses are coming Hayley called to airport desk When did you get too tipsy on a date? Herman Update Vaughan cooked tongue Shrekking dating term Fact of the day What was your dumb injurySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network, this is Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan. And... This will be, what, the 30th time you should I call it?

Yeah, it is. Yeah. I don't know. So Haley got in last night on a flight at 1 a.m. Now, I did say... That's not great planning for a breakfast announcer. I did say that's a stupid time to book a flight home. She said the other one was too early.

Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. He heard that a few times this one. Yeah, I've heard that every day. Yeah. She lives so far away. Could we get an Uber to, like, knock on the door? Can you call an Uber and be like just... And then put in the notes?

I didn't know until last week that Uber does deliveries now. You can be like, oh, hey, I need my water bottle taken to my house. Yes. That's a terrible example. It's a great idea. It's a fantastic. But you can get it delivered. Oh, my God, great idea.

So we could ask them to deliver a person. We've got to find some way to get her up because she's not, she's out like a light. She's in a deep, deep sleep. Can anybody say welfare check? The top six. There's been a Gmail. hack. This is not good. Data. Data is available on the dark web. This is not good.

Gmail is everything. Every... Yeah, it is. Junk mail, crap discount code store that's probably got your credit card details. Is in the Gmail got the top six signs? Your Gmail has been hacked in the top six. Play ZM's Flashboard and Haley. We're down Haley, who got in on a flight at 1am.

Sent an email to the group, I believe, Carlwin, at 2 a.m? Yeah, yeah. The daily preparations came through it, two. Two. And then we all made it work at 5.20 in the morning. So I've called an excess of 30 time. Well, I've just accidentally upped our boss to see if he was awake.

Was he up? He was. He's given me a call. He's going to pop around. Oh, fantastic. This is great. What better way to wake up from a stressful... Missing your alarm than your actual boss?

Yes. Yeah. Yes, okay. a giant man knocking on your window at 6 something a.m. This sucks for her too because now she doesn't get nuggets because we were debating sending Uber Eats.

Well I was just, I just put into Uber Eats her address and the instructions were walk up the driveway onto the back deck and knock loudly on the door. That's not scary, eh? And then say a delivery for Haley. But it's really, I'm just looking, it's going to take 21 minutes for that.

So Ross Boss will get there before Someone has just text. If she's asleep, does that mean Rolly hasn't been fed on time because he won't be happy? So maybe Rolly might wake her up. Oh, that's somebody knows. That's someone that, yeah.

God, it's $4.80 for a single hash brown. When did they become $4?80? Wait a minute. That's Uber Eats prices. That's including delivery. No, no, no. Wait, is Uber Eats a different pricing menu than... Yeah, they put like an charge-up.

Buy quite a lot. And then there's delivery fee, but also service fees. Good, because there was a whole article about how this restaurant is like suffering because they are getting so many Uber Eats orders but Uber Eats takes such a cut. Oh yeah, I remember that. They do. They take your big cart. That's why you should

get off your ass and go to the store yourself. Just an idea. Whoa. Yeah, well. I have actually. No, I feel so strongly about it because so many people in my building use Uber Eats and it's literally like 100 or 200 or 200 metre walk. Yeah, you look close. To any of the shops. I did this month.

I forgot there's a pay to pit right next to work here. And I ordered on Uber Eats I was like yeah I'm Peter Pitt how good And it was a 300 metre walk No it's not even 300 metres I'd say that's 100 No it was from her house It told me

Oh from your house Oh right yeah 300mage And it showed me his progress And it was like 300 metres away And I was like this is humiliate You could have just got it after work Oh I could have breathed and had Peterpit It was humiliating

All right well Ross is on his way to Haley's fantastic So she should be up Tall, tall, dark man She'd hope to be knocking on her window No, no, it's not as that's not. By the simplest, um, when you describe it, it seems like her dream wake up,

but then it's Ross. No offence. Play ZMs, Fletch Vaughan and Haley. Well, last year, in 2024, only fans, the, uh, how would you describe that? The, uh, how would you describe that? The, the subscription-based platform

where content creators show us their bits and pieces. Yeah, might not even be like nude bits and pieces. It could just be feet. Yeah. But OnlyFans' gross revenue rose 9% to $7.2 billion. So that means that like $7.2 billion was spent last year. Didn't, didn't...

On Onlyfans. Yeah, gotcha. And you didn't have any of your feet on there. You could have been making that money. Didn't get any of that night. See, what's $7.2 billion? That's probably US as well, is it? That's US dollars?

Yeah, so that's almost twice that in the current exchange right there. That's a lot of money. That's, yeah, well, that's $14 billion New Zealand. A lot of money. So, the total number of creator accounts grew by 13%. So there are 4.6, 3,4 million only fans creators. Okay, but there's a billion, seven point something billion dollars says that's, the average person is earning $2,000 US dollars a year.

Well, yes and no, like some people will be earning next to nothing. No, I know. And some people will be making a lot. You hear about the people that make a fortune, so that means there's some people earning Nothing. Yeah. So OnlyFans, which shares 80% of fan payments with creators, paid $5.80 billion to creators out of that money.

So it's up 9%. And I think they paid out the owner just under $500 million. So that's how much he made last year, just alone. That's good stuff. So I know people that have done it, I don't know if they still do, but I don't know if they make a lot of money it's just like a little bit of pocket money I don't know I personally don't

well I some people are buying houses the back the back of the house which is on Operation Wake Up Haley we're just been asked what part of the house is the bedroom I will expect Ross to call us live when he's there we'll have to have the wake up live on the radio

I'll get the big machine ready you're always thinking of content you'd be granted only fans I don't know of any of want to be buying. So you'd be waking up. Wake up content. You'd have to be nude.

Hey, don't. That could be a big kink. Wake up. Wake up kinks. Do you know anyone that's... I don't think so. Maybe I do know someone that I just don't know that they're on under fans, but I don't know. I don't know actively.

Here's a question. If you knew someone and you found out they had our only fans but they didn't know that you knew, would you like subscribe and look, girlies? Under my own name or under a fake name. Well, I guess, yeah. As an alias, I don't have a lot. As an alias, surely. Well, how long do you have to sign up for?

Is it month to month? It's like a gym membership. Monthly, yeah. Yeah. Or sometimes there's like deals, I think. Yeah. I don't know. I think you can get personalized things

versus batch content and stuff. God, they're really making up they don't know. Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know. I have a friend that does it, but I've never looked on hers. But then sometimes I'm like, should I just subscribe to support her? Yeah.

Yeah. You're not ever open it. Just, you know. That's basically the Gen Z equivalent of buying your kids' friends' raffle tickets. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yes, but just subscribing to their own fans and not looking. I'll subscribe to it. I'll just subscribe to an OF for a couple of months to help her out.

There is no way I could subscribe to something and not open it. I know that's like, it's like a Pandora's box. I know. You just want to look. Yeah, I'd have to look as well. And I might regret it, but like you just have to. But if I'm paying, I'm looking. Play ZM's Fletchforn and Haley

Wow, we've had a message From little pole Silly little bowl It is so silly, silly, silly that a silly little boy Silly little pooh Silly little pole Silly little pole

Wow, wow, wow We've had a message from Haley For those following the drama on the show this morning Haley is alive, not dead. I didn't set my alarms You need to do that Also didn't have Do Not Disturb on

Well look There'll be some discussions later Won't there Some terse Turs discussions That's words Oh look It's not the end of the world

We'll put it that way You don't book a flight That lands at 1am is all I'll say I think she'll probably hear She'll probably hear that lesson out By the end of the day I reckon I think she'll learn I think she'll learn it

Alright silly little poll today Do you vape inside And we've also stipulated the only answer if you vape, which some people don't like because then they don't get to see the poll result. So we are contemplating having a third option. It does not apply, but I'm nosy and want to see the answer

and see the results. Yeah. Okay, so, 64% of people who vape, apparently don't vape inside. Wink, wink, no. There's nothing unless it's raining or windy or they don't want to miss out on the conversation or. 36% do vape inside So

What's that? Just over a third of vapours Yeah Vapinside Tori only in the laundry With the door open to the outside When it's raining or dark See there's always like

No except the laundry And when it's raining or dark But is it bad to vapour inside Because when I have parties And people come around Like our friend Todd or whoever Yeah I've always just said

Yeah it doesn't matter Do it, maybe do it by the window Turn it out the window But then some people Okay so I might have been watching a movie the other night with a friend and then I smelt vape and I was like wild. They were just waving on the couch. Because I don't

care. I've just said to any friends just vape inside like I don't care. But they've asked. Yeah they've asked. But this one didn't. But it's weird. No, they had previously but it was just weird to be like on the couch. I don't like it. I don't know why I don't like it. It's quite an act to be honest. It's weird

when someone doesn't ask you just see them vaping inside and you're like, it's like leaving your shoes on. You just take your shoes off. You just take them off. And if they say you can leave your shoes on, I still say, oh, I'm come more comfortable with my shoes off inside a house. I'd say everyone has asked me. But yeah, it's still... Have we done that for a silly little poll?

Are you a shoes on, house old? Yucky. Take your shoes off of the door. Hasn't goddamn respect for the Cavalier Brimworth carpet. Emily said, my flatmate sit on the back of the couch and vape out the window. And then she also sent a photo of them sitting on the couch and vaping out the window. Oh, yeah, they do. There you go.

Katie said, yum, strawberry clouds. So I'm taking that as a yes. As a yes, yeah. As a yes, they vape inside. Brooke, I don't vape, but I've had multiple patients at a medical facility. Vap in the changing room before their procedures. Jesus wept. Wow, okay.

How dare you. Brooke is out there on the front lines of help. Yeah. And you were vaping in the changing rooms of the gym once. I was like, wild, dude. Like, you've just done your cardio. Having a quick vape. I don't vape, but I was dating a guy recently.

who did, and we were in bed one night, and I just heard that weird little crackle. The crackle! Yes. The crackle! It's going to be so quiet. You don't often hear the vape crackle because I'll only be in a social situation where people are vaping around me. So I've just googled, is it bad to vape inside a house? And apparently, yes, vaping inside a house is bad because the aerosol contains harmful particles like nicotine and toxins.

Yeah. That can settle on the surfaces. Surfaces, darling. Services, darling. Not my surfaces. Leading to third-hand exposure. So you'd do it by the window. So I don't vape, but I was dating a guy recently who did, and we were in bed one night,

and I heard the crackle as I was going to sleep, and the asshole was vaping in my French linen sheets. Needless to say, he was dumped the next day. Yeah. Anonymous. French linen sheets. French linen. Oh, it must be nice.

No, I'm familiar with the Egyptian cotton, of course. Yes. It sounds like they'd have a high thread count. Stop it. What are my warehouse sheets? sheets at. Where's my three-count-up? I... Good sheets. Good sheets. Ela said bathroom vapes just hit on another level.

Look in the shower. I know people who vape in the shower because it gets caught in the condensation and they feel like they're hotboxing themselves with grapes. Well, I will give you an option, Vaughn, thanks to Chemis Warehouse show sponsor. You can actually clear sinuses with Vick's vapo shower tablets. Four pack only 1899. I love that idea.

Love that. Where's Vicks? Vicks was sleeping on that. Yeah. I've seen a few people are doing shower bombs like this and you put them in the base of your shower like this and they just the hot water. I simply asked. I know. Tamed that up with a shower time.

Get that too. You'd be Vix vapid. You get that, get into chemistry house. I love, I love vapour rub. I know you do. I'm a huge fan. And those sticks that you put up in those. Dude, I love them.

One of each nostril, it's party time, baby. Bathroom vapes hit on a different level. Ever been somewhere where you can't pop it out quietly? Well, no, no, or question of bathroom. vape everyone needs a loo even if it isn't for number two vapors aye thank you vapors uh ebony said nah if you vape you vape anywhere vape for life i mean that's ariana says yep but only if on my own and it's by an open door or a window mackenzie says full send i say just got a stress less than yolo life we're pretty much being one of those vaporizer things but in human

form but jesus the vapors uh because they live alone and it's not bothering anybody else and it's cold outside, said Sandra. So that's why Sandra vapes inside. Well, similar to poll today, we said to you vapors. Do you vape inside, and 64% of you said no. Play ZMs, Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. Apparently there's a new viral question, we're told.

Much like the Would You Still Love Me if I was a worm question, but this one doesn't need to be directed at your significant other. Is that right, Shannon? Yes, so this one's going around when the girlies just really want to rock up a man in their life. Oh, God, why are you doing this? Why are you poking the beer? It's just a fun little hobby we have sometimes.

Yeah. And I thought I'd pose it to you two men this morning. Okay. Don't you wish you were a bit more athletic? Don't you just wish, like, you could just like be a bit more athletic? That hits at every stage because if you're athletic, of course you always want to be a bit more athletic. And if you're not at all athletic, of course you want to be a little more athletic. And if you're right in the middle, yes, of course you want to be a bit more athletic.

Isn't it so brutal? it's brutal but are you prepared for this to be throwing back in your face oh my god no because if you say it and they're like well i could outrun you then you've got your running you get a running race on your hands um no this is a one-way street thank you very much it does it though doesn't it girlies are asking their boyfriends this and watching people react to this question is so funny men would be like well i can like run real fast i go six on the treadmill i can do this i can do this like just to find that they are indeed athletic yeah even like men who are like not in great shape are like well

I can do this. That's how men have heart attacks. I haven't played squash in 40 years, but I'll give it a blast at lunchtime on Thursday, no warm-ups. Yeah, you're talking about the group of people that think they can land a plane. Yes. Like, we, white men, worse. We're always exaggerating.

Worse, completely. Cis hetero white men, the worst. I can do that. I can do that. Yeah, don't you guys wish you're a little more athletic? I feel like everyone should just ask this to the men. in their life today and we'll just see

how society react to a few more angry men. Prepare for it to be put back in your face as I'm saying it starts an argument I don't want anything to do with this

no don't you wish you were a little bit more athletic what would be the female equivalent oh don't you wish you were a size smaller

that would hit me deep I don't know any man that's not even the white heterosis males are dumb enough to ask that question No better. Play.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. From the Fletch Vaughan and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Hello. Slightly distracted looking up tongue recipes. Oh, yuck. You and your gross tongue cooking. More on that after eight. 2.5 billion Gmail accounts have been exposed as a massive hack has been uncovered.

Uh-oh. A notorious hacker group breached Gmail security. They've targeted victims with fake. support calls and messages in a sophisticated deception campaign. I'm going to have to tell Christine about this. It sounds mostly aimed at like businesses. I mean, it wouldn't hurt to change your email. Always have two-factor authentication.

Yeah, love a bit of two-factor. I use that like an authenticator app. It's so annoying, but I mean, it's safe. So annoying. Always logging in and using it. But it's less annoying, losing your email account. I always just get them to send me the old text, the SMS. Oh, yeah.

One of the best inventions in the modern operating system is when it automatically gets the messages. And if you're in the part where you enter the code, it's like, do you want to enter one click? I know. I know it's a code. But see, that's good. But if you travel a lot or Fenticrator app is the way to go. Gotcha. Because, yeah. Thankfully, my personal recession is really travel almost undoable.

Yeah. I love the top six signs your Gmail has been hacked. Hang being hacked. Been hacked. Number six on the list. Your mum's chain mail email has actually been forwarded on to 25 of your friends so that you don't have an ancient. and Japanese curse bestowed upon you. And people still doing chain forward emails?

She freaks out. She doesn't need any more bad luck at her age. Those were big in the late 90s 2000s. Yeah, love it. Forward this email on. The Japanese demon will curse you forever. Number five on the list of the top six signs, your Gmail's been hacked. Somebody used your discount code that was about to expire to get free postage from an iconic delivery.

They got free postage. I see. Do you see New Zealand Post have stopped sending to America? Yeah, because of the tariffs. How are you going to get, I mean, I think you can still do Express. I don't know. But that's pretty wild. It's pretty wild.

Number four on the list of the top six signs, your Gmail's been hacked. They found your nudes that you emailed to somebody in 2006 before smartphones were a thing. Email, email, news. Email nudes, yep, right at the bottom of the scent, and flag them as an appropriate content. Oh, that's upsetting. But you were keeping it tight in 2006, so you shouldn't be ashamed of that. Mind you, the camera was blurry, so you might not have actually been keeping it tight, but just that. Blurray filter, really, did you?

A favour or two. Number three on the list of the top six signs your Gmail's been hacked. Are you got an email saying you'd signed up for Tinder? Yes, it is the hackers that did that. The hackers have signed me up for Tinder. Number two on the list of the top six signs your Gmail's been hacked. Someone's used to your Hal Pizza voucher. Oh, that's upsetting.

Come on. How pizzas pops out in the inbox. Yeah. And number one in the list of the top six signs, your Gmail's been hacked. Somebody was so disgusted that you had 3,052 unreaded emails in there. They cleaned up your inbox, turned on spam filters, and unsubscribe from all the mailing lists you never read. When I see people with red bubbles all over their phone, I'm just like, sort out your life. Just delete it all.

Just delete it all. Get up to date with what amount is. Delete it all and start a fresh. Start a new Gmail account. That's also a great idea. Yeah, stop signing up to stuff. Also a great idea. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Well, Netflix last week, quietly released a little feature that's got quick. I'm people quite excited. They've got some big boxing events coming up. You've watched boxing on, they've done a live boxing. They did the polls? Yeah, a while ago.

It was pretty glitchy. And they've also got some live NFL games, the Christmas Day games that are coming up. So they reckon that this. That's interesting because Disney Plus does a lot of live sport. So they've got a lot of live events coming up. And of course, a lot of girlies, you've watched some of the, they've done some live dating shows.

Yeah, so for Love is Blind, the reunion, a few seasons ago, they did it live, but it was an hour and a half late, and I was sitting there watching it and just, it was buffering, and they're like, we're trying our best, and they'd come in for a second and be like, we're still trying. We're trying our best. And then at the end, it cut out for a bit, and then they came back, and they just didn't nail it, but I love the idea of live reality TV for Netflix. Well, they are quietly trying out an interactive real-time voting. feature. So on, I haven't heard of the show, but on Tuesdays, on Netflix's Dinnertime Live

with David Chang stream. Have you seen that? Maybe it's just in America. No. I haven't seen it. It looks, he's wearing a bit of a silly costume here. Maybe it's a slightly comedic. Dinner time live. Meals, mishaps and culinary secrets unfold as chef David Chang throws down in the kitchen for celebrity guests. Oh, okay. Celebrity is like a modern celebrity. So seven and a half on IMDB. That's Pretty good. Okay. Well, on Tuesday's episode, both TV and mobile devices were able to vote on numerous things throughout the broadcast.

So you could provide ratings for things. There were options, apparently, whether you preferred soup over salad, soup one. Wow. And people were just voting. What time of the year, is it? I don't know. What dinner? What are we dinner or are we luncheon or?

I don't know. More questions. So they're going more for the live TV aspect, which was like totally not what they went for originally. Yeah, because they used to have these interactive shows. One of the greatest parts of Netflix was the Bear Grills series. I don't know if you guys ever did it. But it would be like, should I go for

food or shelter and you'd always pick the worst option. I got an eat by a hippo one time. It was crazy, man. And it was one of my favorite things to do after a couple of lemonade. But they've recently removed all of the interactive shows. Even a Black Mirror one? I'm unsure about Black Mirror

but Bear Grills is off the market. Oh no, okay. So I wonder if they were kind of getting rid of the past interactive to bring in this live interactive. Yeah, maybe. Well, it's a quiet rollout apparently, but there's a page that they've set up on their website which talks about the new features and, yeah, I'd imagine

it's coming for, like, reality shows and live shows. Do you think that's going to be on their, like, most expensive subscription base? Because, like, why would they give it to the cheap ones? Imagine if Bear Grews became live, and you could live send them into a hippo's mouth. It's crazy, man.

That's like saying, man, call a judy's I wish I could take a gun into a mall. You know what? I see that's a slippery slow. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. I just wanted to say I went to a chemistry warehouse event on Friday, Father's Day event. Oh, okay. It was so much fun.

It was like, come along, have some food, we're going to hit some balls at a driving range. Golf balls. How very dad. Yeah, okay. Not testicles. We weren't tapping each other's. Good. Bulls.

And I was going to, I was doing really well in the long drive. They had a competition who could drive the longest. You were winning. Dude, I bet Dan Carter. What? I could drive, outdrive Dan Carter. Really? Don't worry about it. Was he having a bad day or something?

I think he was having a shocking day. But he almost had to call in Pity Weeper to cover for him. Now that's a reference to the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Is he a golfer though? Yeah. Is he? Oh, wow. You can't be doing better than him.

But I got nothing in a short game. All I can do is whack it and it's not always straight. Anyway, I was doing really well and I was winning. And then goddamn Martin Guptil's like, I'll give this a go. I'm like, he's a guy that doesn't he hold the record for the longest six in cricket? He's he's an incredible golfer. Always see him on his Instagram stories. He's always golfer.

You're never beating him. I got emasculated in front of Dan Carter. Anyway, thanks to the Kimus Warehouse for that fun time. At least Dan Carter was also emasculated by you. Imagine him emasculated by me. You had it less worse. Less worse. Less worse.

That's what they call it. That's less worse. That's less worse. Yeah. Anyway, thank you to the show, sponsor. That was a lovely day. Lovely. Lovely day.

Now, now, there's some good news on the horizon. Here's some good news and I've wondered why it's taken so long, but it looks like the government will be looking into digital driver's licenses. So we've got wallets on our smartphones, a digital wallet so we can hold our cards, tickets for events, the sorts of things that we're always in a traditional wallet. Yes. And it looks like we're going to get a digital driver's license and it will be also on your phone. Meaning, I think we're on the verge of the extinction of the wallet.

Old boys will always love a wallet, but I think you're really. on the verge of extinction in the wall. If you're carrying cash, you pop it in the back of the phone case. You fold it over and pop it in the back of the phone case. And then, like, why do we need wallets anymore? That's, that's the one thing that's in my wallet that if I was going out, I would want to take. Yeah. ID.

Wow, well, look, who's just arrived at work an hour, 18 minutes late. Is this a new record? No, I think once they turned up at like 8 o'clock. Yeah, I think you turned up for the last 20 minutes of the show. Tell you what, guys, you should get more sleep. You went to bed at 2 o'clock I still think Fletch had more sleep than you last night This is true

Carry on I've been listening We're getting digital Driving the show's had a real flow today Yeah I'm high on tongue Fletcher's had sleep Goodness me

Anyway Yeah that will be That's embarrassing 20 cents fell out of my wallet Is that what you got? That's all I've got That's all I've got Okay good

Person of recession Do your zip up You've done your zip up The only thing that's got any girth to it in my wallet is the air tag that tracks my wallet. But when I don't have in a wallet, I won't need the air tag. Yeah. And all the driver's license, all my cards are online. The cards are digital. Yeah. Even most like, um, store stuff now as an app or digital. Yep. I carry me Costco card. That can all be digital. That is digital. Yep. Yep. If, yep, done.

Yeah. So once the wallet's done, it's, once the, once the driver's license is on the phone, RIP the wallet. New South Wales, maybe another one or two states in Australia. a digital driver's license. They have been for a while. Iceland, Switzerland, Spain, Italy, South Korea. Hot, hot, hot. All those countries are hot. What if the police pull you over though and your phone's dead?

Fecal. Because then you just be like, it's in there. So that's why it's taking so long is they have to change the laws because that could be a thing. And also people using their phone and their cars. But you should, yeah, yeah. They're not going to pull you over and say,

can I see your license? You're like, yeah, I knew you were going to do it. So I was preloading. Yeah, exactly. thing I was on my foot. No, exactly. That's like some of the concern. So that's why it's taking a while to iron out all those things. Yeah. Four months still Christmas?

Yeah. Oh my God, it is. The 25th of August. Four months of Christmas. God, just got to get there. Just, honestly, fucking just get to Christmas. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. This Friday is daffat all day. Spring? It is. Spring imminent. Spring is sprung. And the ANZ donation station is back.

We're raising funds for the Cancer Society. So join us this Friday. A whole bunch of select. Debs joining us throughout the day, raising money with the ANZ donation station of the Staffadol Day, supporting the one and three Kiwis affected by cancer in their lifetime. If you can donate now, it's super easy. A $3 instant donation to the Cancer Society. Just text, donate to 3493. You've got daffodils, don't you for?

I do, yes, I do. Can you bring some in? We should have a nice baths. I think by the end of this week I'll have another. You should see, oh, I've got such a lovely bouquet. I've got plenty of the domain by my house. I'll grab some too. Oh, Carl.

Oh, yeah. Add yours to the mix. I think my neighbours have some. I'll jump over the fence in the morning. Yeah, lovely. Hell of a bouquet. Now, I went to, I was in Melbourne over the weekend. Yeah, sick. It was sick. And yesterday when I was heading home on a late flight, hence, slept down. Yeah, I kind of, I don't know. I kind of did say that was a silly idea at the time.

You're not getting that flight, are you? I said, yeah, I am. He said, oh, that's hell. And I said, no, I'll be all right. And I feel all right, because I missed work. You missed half of work I missed half of the day So I was in the I was in the lounge last night Having a I had the soup

You know when you panic And you and you have the soup I never opt for a soup It was a keenwa vegetable soup I don't care where I'm eating I know It's never an option It's a filler

Unless it's an Asian suit Oh yeah Unless it's an age A broth With corn in it I'll go for a heavy broth Yeah With corn like an Asian

Chicken soup Yeah Yeah yeah No it wasn't it was a quinoa vegetable soup sort of a nightmare. And I was having that. And then I heard over the intercom, you know, you always hear it. Like, this is a call for passengers, Jermaine, Clement, and Brett McKenzie. Can they please report to the service desk immediately? Right. And I always used to get jealous.

I've had one of those, I've heard Melanie Linsky. Really? On the ding don't know. Yeah. Melanie? Yeah. Well, no, the name they were calling was Jane Sprong. And I was like, this Jane Sprong. She'd better get her ass to the desk, eating my soup, eating my soup. Jane Sprong. This is a service. Can you please report to the front desk?

God damn it, come on, Jane Sprong. With her passport as well, three times Jane Sprong gets called to the front desk. And I was like, well, maybe Jane's not here, and she's missed her flight. And that's why they've, you know. Set it twice. They've said it three times at this point, Fletch, three times. Then I sort of listened carefully, and I was like, It's not sprong.

It's like Sprawl. Jane Sproll. And I was like, do you reckon they mean Haley, Jane Sproul? And it was. It was me. I turned up and I was like, are you calling me? She was like, are you Jane Sprong? I was like, Haley, Jane Sprong.

Yeah, it did sound like Sprong. She was struggling with the word Sproul. And then she some reason was saying my middle name, which is honestly one of my deepest James. Had you not checked in? No, I had, but I checked it online. and so they had to verify my passport. Had you not entered your passport details checking in?

I had. I know. It's weird. This happened on the way over as well. I got clocked at the gate when I was boarding. You know when you're scanning your thing? And she was like, oh, we're just going to verify your passport. Because you checked in online. I was like, why let me check it online? If you're going to slow it down by verifying the passport.

Is that why? I get stopped every time. Do you get stopped every time? Yeah, I just put it in the kiosk. Yeah, and then it doesn't, I don't know. If you do it at the, yeah. If you do it at the chaos, it's fine, but they need to verify the passport. But if you, because if you, this is like, I usually check in a bag. You know what I mean?

I usually check in a bag. So you have to go through the kiosk, slide in the passport. Well, you got your name called. Well, Jane Sprong did. So you nearly missed that flight and you were late to work today. I didn't nearly miss the flight. I just was really concerned for the well-being of Jane Sprong and where she was. But it was me all along.

I am Jane Sprong. Play ZM's flesh, one and Haley. Play ZM's Fletch Born and Haley We want to talk now about when you got a little tipsy on a date And then just in that moment When we said getting tipsy on a date

I said to Fletch and Haley Have you seen the footage of the lady Who was tipsy and elderly And drove her car through a bike shelter And off into the water At the Wack Island fairer That's so dangerous I'd seen the photo of the car in the water

But not the actual video of it happening That's on the NZTherald website How good that there's footage of it It's so far under what it was subverged. Nobody got. Yeah, is she okay? Exactly. Was she fine?

Oh, she has a little water. She was a bit wet. She's soggy. But shame. So this news comes to us because a woman got pulled over and I believe this was reported in the ODT. Yeah, it's a Dunedom woman because she had a date. She had a little predate jitters. And of course, what do you do when you got the jitters?

You have a couple of glasses. Wham. Wham. I always, it's my mum's thing before every one of my grandparents' funeral. She's like, here have one of these and it's that anti-nautious stuff that you're spraying your tongue

and then she gives me a shot of whiskey. Oh, okay. I don't know if that's a family traditional she's just trying to like, because I'm the most emotional. I'm the most emotional grandchild. Right. I'm a big crier.

Okay. Well, I mean, if you're going to have a couple of drinks before a date, get a number. You don't drive. You don't drive. You don't drive. Oh, God, definitely don't drive. Yeah.

So she was on her way to a Tinder date when she was stopped and she had a 348 on the old blow scale 250's the limit on the blow scale you should have a couple of nervous wines before she left for a date

sounds like she had a bottle yeah that feels like a bot that sounds like a bottle is that a bot well if two glasses keeps you under then yeah she's tapping on a bot she's tapping on a bot bots

so yeah so she had a couple she got the infringement and she's obviously going to have to deal with the consequences of the I mean but that's getting a ticket and possibly you know losing your license

and having to deal with all the admin that comes with that is going to, I reckon it'll re-ad the jitters. It'll negate the whines. Also, how do you text your date? I know. Hey, I can't come anymore. I just got DUI.

No, she got left. She received the infringement notice and headed off. So presumably kept going. We went on the date. Yeah. She went, what, did you park the car up and walk to the date? I just don't. Oh, God.

We didn't need a follow up on that one. Oh, God. We wanted to know, because dates are for a lot of people, a nerve-wracking experience. And so people do, and they might not drink before, but you get on the date and you have a couple. Yeah. And then you just, maybe you've heard a couple too many.

Oh, this happened to me. And it was like, it was someone I'd wanted to connect with for years. It was like my very good friend's brothers best mate. And as a teenager, I'd like long fiend it over and been like, oh my God, Elliot's so cute. And then when we were like, wow. Shout out, Elliot. Elliot was cute. And then.

I don't think I've met a cute, Elliot. Years, oh, this one was cute. Elliot Stables. Oh, that's cute. Lots of food options. Yeah, I mean, that's a very cute. That's a very cute four court. Actually, you're right.

That's my favourite, Elliot. Take it back. Elliot's cute. Anyway, when we were adults years later, he was like, I'll take you about on a date. I was like, I'm working late. He was a projectionist at Reading Cinemas. Okay.

And he was working late on the last film. Yeah. And I was so nervous and I just started having some drinkies with friends. And then by the time I got there, I think I had to be held up. up. Oh, Haley. Held up? Yeah. So that date didn't happen. Right. Well, this is what we want to know this morning. O800 dials at M. Give us a call.

Text through 9-696. When did you get too tipsy before a date? Did you get a little bit too tipsy on a date before a date perhaps? Because someone got DUIed after having a few nervous. And that was their excuse. I'm on my way to a Tinder date. Yeah, I got nervous. I'm sorry. Some messages in I was running late getting ready Quickly had one confident shot as I left

But forgot to take my hair roller out So I showed up at the bar With a Velcro roller in my bangs still And my breath smelling a little bit like booze He didn't say anything But a girl he tapped me on the shoulder And let me know I still had a curler in Women supporting women

He probably didn't know that it wasn't the fashion That was a look a look I can't keep up with the trends Yeah Is it hair rollers in or out these days I don't hear rollers It's bad I guess everything's circular.

So it must be back. Somebody said, I arrived at his flat and he wasn't home from work yet. His flatmate said, why don't you have a couple of drinks while you wait? And with the time he got home an hour later, and then in brackets, he said, forgiven. He works in health. Okay, yeah, okay. Some sort of surgeon.

Service. And by the time he got home, I was tanked. Tanks, that's... And you're making small talk with someone you don't know, like they're flatmate, like even more awkward. Just horrible He was 20 minutes late So of course I had to have two comfort cocktails When he arrived

I boldly told him he looked older in real life Turns out he didn't like that We didn't have a second date I can imagine that didn't go down well Imagine to get up to a date And someone's like far out You look a lot older in real life Okay

Well Had a couple of cocktails have we Yeah Having a sloppy ones Have your text coming in 9600 0800 dials at emerson number When did you get a little too tipsy on a date? My now wife got so drunk on our second date

I had to carry her out of 660. Oh no, hon. That's such layered basic. There's a lot there. Was that like a second or third date, do you think? Yeah, concert. A concert. Bold move, hey?

I wonder if that was the same woman. Do you remember the person popping a squat on the bus? Yeah. The 660 bus squat potter, pop-pottop. Asked out by the hottest girl at school. Careful. Really? Yeah.

I'm going to skip one part of this sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, give it a rain. Had a few beers to settle my nerves. Ended up getting a little bit carried away. Woke up with 100 hickies on her neck. Remember nothing. Needless to say, I was not invited for a second date.

So imagine me a sloppy drunk that you're just on the neck the whole night. She's just there like, feel free to do other things, dude. I was meant to pick this girl up I was talking to for a while online for our first date. And I was meant to pick her up But my nerves got the better of me And I had a couple of drinks So I ended up She had to come and pick me up

Oh I never saw her again Well at least you didn't drive Like this woman that got busted I know but it is embarrassing Being like hey I'm gonna pick you up at 7 And then be like Come get me

Can I've had a couple of drinks I'll be like no you're all good Another day Another day I was meant to Somebody's got tipsy before a date Went to the bar To watch the rugby

Drink some more at the bar Fell asleep Watching the game Woke up my date had left me Oh, was that the game just this weekend? Because that was boring. You'd fall asleep during that game. It was at my wedding.

So not a date, but the bride was late, and I was too nervous waiting there with my best man, so we went to the bar and asked for a shot. By the time she rocked in with her parents, I'd had a couple. It was a bit tipsy. Everything went well, but I don't have the courage to watch the wedding video, because I know.

I was secretly quite busy at the time. Wow. Yeah. Went on a Tinder date, had a few too many drinks, going round for round on things we wouldn't normally drink. Went up to pay for the bar. It was $400. Oh my God.

Not happy out of cocktails? That's madness. My now husband stood me up for our first date after a work fishing trip. That's a sign of things to come, isn't it? You'll notice she said husband. My now husband. He says if he made it to the date, he would never have gone on a second one because he was boozed.

And he pretty snout like fish and burly. Oh, turning up drunk and reeking of fish. Burbin. Burley and Bourbon. What a combo. Play Z-M's Fletchbourne and Haley. Fletchhorn and Haley are bringing Herman home. I've been loving the photos, the videos, all the content. People are really getting amongst this.

Herman the German Shepherd, our life-size ceramic, is making his way up the country. Now three-legged. because I saw the photos of him that we just put up and yeah it really broke my heart to see that bandaged up foot of his but he looks happy still Producer Kawani

where are we at? So Herman has spent a lovely weekend in Hawks Bay that's right he got in the truck on Friday he visited actually my old primary school which was pretty wholesome I love that he's getting into the community and visiting I know he is it's like he's like he's

campaigning for office. You know, office. Oh my gosh, yeah, the mayor better move aside. He's going to take over. Obviously, we can't post the children in the photo, but like, it's such a cute little photo. They all look so excited to see Herman. And he, I hear through the grapevine

that he saw some grapevines. Oh, great. Had a little glass of wines. We haven't really talked about Herman's age, but I assume, given that he was like owned in the 80s. In doggy, he's 18? Yeah, he's totally fine. Or in doggy's he significantly. Wasn't he born in the 80s? Yeah, I think so.

Okay, so he's legal enough to be drinking at a... What is it? Times seven. So he's 320, is he? Yeah, lovely. Yeah, just old enough. Now, we need to get him from Hawks Bay today or any time this week towards Auckland, whether it's through Hamilton, Tohunga, wherever.

Because in Hamilton, there was talk of someone who might be able to repair the foot with some degree of elegance. Yes, yeah. We haven't fully locked. about it and yeah but it's there's a potential that someone um at like an art gallery type place might be able because i just don't know if i can see him like that in the flesh you know i just don't know if i would be able to handle it you might have seen on the instagram but they did um at the airport give him a little like rap so his foot is nice and secure yeah yeah but yeah we need someone in

hawks bay we've had some offers from higher up in the country but we just need someone in hawks bay Okay, so is anybody listening now or does anybody know anyone that's traveling from Hawke's Bay? Up, you know, in a car. Up. Well, we would accept truck, but he has to ride up front

because he's a very good boy and he likes to stick us to get out of the window. And he's quite unbalanced now. Like, he is an amputee. Yeah. Yeah, special care is needed for this. If you can help out, text in now or

Carwin at ZM Online.com. Oh, yeah. And if you can help out, that'll be amazing. Yeah. So sometime, today, ideally, if anyone's travelling up or next couple of days. There's a message in the text machine just there, Carweeney.

If you can help out, that would be, you're much appreciated. I'm just longing to meet him. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshworn and Haley. I enjoy cooking. I really enjoy cooking. I'm going to say it, you grossed out the internet at the weekend. The internet.

You grossed out the internet. I spent Saturday making... Now it's got a name. I've, here we go I spent Saturday making Beef tacos Beef tacos de lingua De lingua

Lingoa Is this your la la Linguwa Lingua Lingua Yeah So this is like a classic Mexican use of the beef tongue The ox tongue

Yeah See if I was in a nice Mexican restaurant And that was an option And I saw someone eating it But like yeah absolutely great Because I don't see I don't see what's going on in the kitchen No that's the thing

I'm not seeing I see not seeing what's going on in the kitchen. You know why? That's when we're going to a restaurant and I like to sit and watch them cook. Oh, it's not the whole thing. Not the tongue. I like to see the whole thing.

Okay, so you... I've had Oxtonged before at a very nice Mexican restaurant and it was delicious. Succulent. Yeah, but you didn't see it when it was a whole tongue. And now that I've seen it, thanks to your disgusting Instagram display over the weekend, I shall not be ordering it again. Even though I will argue it was delicious.

I don't think I could eat it now knowing. Really? Yeah, because that, when you flomped out that bluey grey time, after it had been soaked in vinegar to remove the impurities. Yuck. I was like, ugh. Yuck. No way, dude.

It was like, and I'm not even saying this because I put so much time and effort into it. It might be my new favourite cut of meat. No, but you're not doing that on a Wednesday. You're not, you're not. It's a whole thing. But basically, I grew up on a farm. We always had home kill. And the tongue was probably minced and turned into either mints or dog food.

By the way, when we get mints at the supermarket, what bits are we getting? Are we getting the tongue? You think the tongue's the grossest part of their mints? Butthole. Oh, they're not putting butthole in there, are they? And if you're really lucky, it's like the golden ticket to go to Willie Wonka's factory, you'll find the whole anus. Can I get the nice? Can I get the mints free mints, please? Do you think, no, but if I get the nice mints, like the Angus mints.

Yeah, you're just getting Angus Anus Anus. What does I buy anise? You can't spell Angus without anus. what if I'm getting that it's just got a G in the middle you put a G in the middle you put a G yeah I always like getting the premium premium

it's got the premium it's got the premium minus right it's got it's all me you don't think about you just don't think about I like to know

where it's coming from I like to see yeah anyway that's I'm gonna I could go rant about this sort of thing and home kill and processes on site

and stuff no no I know and I completely understand that you could try in your apartment Fletch you've got that corner with the Monster

move that and get a beef cancass up. Yeah, right. Get a pulley system. Dry it out. Dry it out. Dry age. Oh, horrible. No. You can spell Wagu without anus.

But most of anus isn't. Maybe I'll go Vijo. Maybe I'll go Vito. That's not a few people said. Yeah. So basically I started out with an ox tongue that was part of a homekill because Ross at Toffori homekill. Shout out.

Love those guys. Are we giving him free? Are we giving out free meat cheese? When mum and dad do, when mum and dad do a home kill, they just get mints and sausages. and some steaks, they're very plain. But he'll say to me, do you want the exciting parts? And so the tongue was something I was really looking forward to doing.

And to frost it over a couple of days, because it's quite a, you saw it, it's girthy. Okay, yeah. It's girthy. And so to frosted it and then soaked it in vinegar water and started the process. Man, it was, and I understand what it looked like, but that's meat, baby, that's life.

I just don't. So it was, it was. I'm surprised you didn't get so delicious. I'm surprised you didn't get your account reported or some of those stories went sensitive. Yeah, like it was quite Even I was like, and I don't care about I know where animals and meat comes from

I've seen, I've been at a farm and seen animals You know, turned into steaks Yeah And months But you know, it's something about seeing it on Instagram I was like, ugh And you've got a lot of messages Dude, so I just kind of like put up the stories

And the videos of making it And then just ignored Instagram Because you're too busy working on the tongue I was too busy tongue in the tongue Yeah And then I just kind of had a bit of a quiet day yesterday when it came to social media, I've been going through it this morning. I would say nothing short of a few hundred messages.

Wow. A lot of disgusted, vomit emojis, but a lot of people have been like, tell me more. And I think I'm going to put the recipe up later on. This, what, what's seasoning? Because the seasoning when I had it that one time, it was like tender, tender in cubes. And it was like a deep, rich, dark seasoning. Yeah, so it almost had a moly. Yeah, like a mollay.

Oh, yeah. And you know what I did with, the liquid that I cooked it in, I left it on the stove for hours and I've reduced it to the thickest, like, glupiest gravy. But it's tongue gravy, you know? It's tongue gravy. It's tongue gravy. But like, Mexican mole is so young.

Yeah, that's like, it's chocolate but also like, it's coffee. It's savory. To add the earthiness, you put a bit of cocoa in. So it had cocoa and it had like paprika, smoke paprika, chili powder. If I had better access to like different sorts of peppers, it would have been a bit.

Big, a big tongue. Re-soaked tongue. A big tongue. Stayed on the surface and then when the cook happened and then you'd take the skin off. Right. Okay, anyway, yuck. Slice it.

Anyway, yuck. I think anyway, yuck as well. But I should have ordered it. I got a little bit left over. I should have ordered. I was hoping you weren't going to bring someone. I was like it didn't smell or anything. Yeah.

It just was like corn beef. But even better than corn beef because it had more fat through it. I've eaten it and I can't even think about it. I can't. Play ZM's flesh for one and Haley. Go, we come up with some great. dating terms. By we, I mean a human race. This is going to be one of my favourite yet. Shrekking.

Okay. I don't know what, I just know that it's a dating term. Shrekking. Yeah. It's got to have something to do with appearances, right? Yeah. Not much to do with land ownership. I thought I might have to do with, yeah, the swamp. Get out of my swamp. Right. Okay. Shreking is intentionally dating someone less conventionally attractive than you. like Princess Fiona settling for an ugly ogre

but she was an ogre all along she was she? I can't remember yeah and she had a magic spell or something yeah that's right wait there was a donkey too wasn't there either was yeah okay and all sorts by Eddie Murphy so motivated by the idea that

less attractive partners might treat you better because they won't benefit from pretty privilege and sort of learn how to become a bit of an asshole like handsome people so you intentionally you're throwing a bone to a Shrek and be like they'll be so grateful

to be dating me I'm a Fiona over here this Shrek is so lucky Mingers try harder in bed too You want a hundred percent That's the old Well you don't sleep with mingers You are the minger

So do you try hard? You're the minger, you're just up your game Yeah so a lot of people are saying As a fellow minger you know we really We'll pull out all the stops Yeah we'll try really hard We do try really hard Some criticism towards Shreking

is the idea that because he's ugly he's going to be a great better person when trying so hard better in bed and better, you know, everything. Why does it always need to be a he? I don't know, that's where my brain went. Is that? Yeah, I'm really hearing.

Throw them ugly mingers of buying if you're a hot dude maybe. Yeah, yeah, looking for an ugly Shela. But the problem is, if they still turn out to be a bit of an asshole, now you're with an asshole who's also ugly. Oh, yeah. You know, it's not a guarantee.

Well, someone's found their loophole. Because someone's gone through life struggling as a three out of ten, doesn't mean that they've become some wonderful, excellent person with great internal values. You should always be looking at the internal values before the external anyway. Maybe if you're still looking, maybe you need to re-evaluate your swipes

and just drop down a couple of shrieks. But we talked about this, recently about, you've got to lower your standards on the dating app, You're sending them too high and looking for Mr. Bloody perfect, and he's not on there, and you're going, oh, that apps suck. Chuck a couple of ming is a swine. Chuck a couple of ming is a swine.

Which way is it for yes? Right. Swipe like it's your last day alive. Swipe right. Swipe like it's your last day alive. Okay. That's what I said. Wow.

I'm just going to open up an app that I have for research-based purposes. Okay. And I'll just start swiping like it's the last day in my life. Swipe like it's the last day. Who wants that fun? Even if it's the last day on earth And they were the last person It's just got really short arms

How short? Just a little bit T-Rexy Okay, so you're not into tricking I'm not into Shrekking Okay, sorry Play ZM's Fletchforn and Haley Fact of the Day Day, Day, Day, Day, day, day

Yeah Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do to do do do do It is accidental invention week This week, at fact of the day Long teased, long teased Yeah, yeah, because I was going to do it last week And then I forgot I said I was going to do it last week So I did another one and I said, I'll do it this week

And then I remembered. Yeah, good. Then I remembered. A lot of these are going to be, are they going to be medical? There's a couple of medical. I tried to spread it throughout the field. There's medical food, sauce. Oh, a surprise source.

Yeah, we always need a sauce. Something else, and today's. Okay. Today's is the accidental invention of saccharin. Sacktabs, the original artificial sweetener. Oh, goodness. Oh, gosh, not what I thought. Because my mum always says, don't worry, I said, do you want sugar?

And she's like, don't worry, I've got my sack tabs. And I'm always like, why should call them sack tabs? Because that's not one of the brands that I'm familiar with. Sookral? Yeah. Yes, no sucral. Was that a, yeah, that's a brand. Was that Chelsea Sugar to it?

Adjacent? A line? I remember it was in a painting. Why would he just have that? Why would he just have that information on tap? Your mum does sacktabs too, doesn't? No, she does some kind of equal. Equal.

Your mum's the mum's sacktaps. Mums throughout the world love. Love an equal. And love it, just a, you know, a little container in their purse. Yes. The sack tabs. I mean, I personally stayed clear of artificial sweetness. Yeah, me too.

They rip through my guts. Really? Yeah. My band who recently passed loved an artificial sweetness. And she lived the 91 years old. Yeah. Yeah. And her father was a drinker

And he lived into his 90s So I just were gonna live forever Yeah I love artificial sweater and drinking Maybe I will live forever Maybe Maybe I'm unlocking my Irish I'm unlocking my Irish DNA

So soft preserve Saccharin was invented accidentally In 1879 Art at the first artificial sweetener It was made in the 1800s Did not know this Constantine Falberg Hello lady

Huh? Constantine Constantine Wow, did she dismiss gender someone in the 1800s? I'll go. Constantine Falberg. No, you only just got canceled. Oh, damn it.

Constantine Falberg is a chemist, working in a lab at John Hopkins University, studying coal tar derivatives. For what are coal tar derivatives? Well, because people were using coal and there was a tar as a bioperator, they're like, well, got all this stuff, what can we make with it? Yeah. And so they, coal tar derivatives are used in, like, dyes and colorings. There was some medicines as a result of it,

cosmetic shampoos and industrial chemicals, of course, added to it. But they were looking for a use for the coal tar derivatives. And then he was like, well, I've had enough. The whistle goes, punches his card, heads home for dinner, is eating some bread, and he's like, that bread tastes sweet, and then he's like, licks his finger,

and he realized he hadn't washed his hands properly. Oh, mucky. And the sweetness came from a chemical that he'd been experimenting with. So then he went back to the lab the next day, retraced his steps, identified the compound, which is benzoic sulfnide, and was like that is sweet with zero calories, unlike sugar, which was used at the time. How do you know if it's not immediately bad for you?

Well, because he ate the bread and looked his fingers, and then went back to the next day and made some more, and went, yeah. Not sure of the long-term effects, but we never are. No. Well, the short-term effect is you're going to shit yourself in about five minutes time. It's really going to get everything going on. That's why like chewing gums have that excessive consumption

may have a lackative effect warning. May have, definitely, definitely well. So Benzoic sulfnoy became saccharine and... Excuse me. Excuse you. What the hell is going on with you to today? Oh, I know. Sort it out.

Became the world's first artificial sweetener and then during the sugar shortages of World War I and World War II when the Nazis took all the sugar. Oh, those Nazis. They used it as a cheap alternative. one of many terrible things they did stole all the sugar yeah

put it right up there on the list I mean it's a long long list I'd put sugar halfway yeah pretty put it quite near the bottom would you put it down the bottom they did a lot of it comparatively comparatively yeah I mean

I don't even want to talk about the top absolutely at the top so today's fact of the day is next time you see mum pull a artificial sweetener out of her purse to pop a couple in at the cafe after she's asked for a latte extra extra hot even though they can only make it so hot that's just milk mum

It can only go so hot. Extra, extra hot. I'll have it extra, extra hot. They're not making it any hotter. They might make it a little bit cooler just to wind you up. And then you'll say, can you take this back? Or they'll take this back and put it in the microwave. Well, next time she's having one of those and she pulls out the sack tabs,

you can say, hey, mum, do you know the initial artificial sweetener was an accidental discovery, an invention where a man was trying to find use for coal tar? Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Play Z-MM's Fletchfawn and Haley. Producer Shannon, what have you done this time, darling? We worry about you. I caught myself.

You count yourself. Yeah, I was treating myself to a nice iced tea. How good's an iced tea? Man. I think you're alone on that. I think you're alone on that. Ice tea? Like a Lipton?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice tea, like a real nice iced tea. So refreshing in the summertime. Not in the wintertime. Well, I just wanted a little drink. I wanted something that didn't have caffeine because it was before bed, but I forgot tea is caffeine. Yeah, it does.

It's actually quite high caffeine content. It's more of a slow release caffeine, isn't it? Like coffee's a hit and tea's like a slow burn. Crazy. But no, I went to open it and I couldn't open it with my hand, so I went for my trusty teeth. No, Shannon. No.

Look, there's nothing more trusty than the teeth. I know, except it didn't. work. I couldn't make it work with my teeth. So I went back to the hand and I really gripped it around my finger and I sliced my finger open quite deeply. I've done it before with the serrated cap, so it's a rough cut too. And I immediately message Carwin, who I do in all crisis. Oh my finger, come my finger, come my finger. And it's like a shocking amount of blood for a plastic cap of a bottle. Yeah. And it bleed for about 20 minutes and now I've got a really sore finger. Oh, babes. All because of a leptin ice tea. Because I want a ice tea. We don't

Liptin into it. Was it Lipton? Well, Lipton doesn't want to be part of the... It was ice tea. It was ice tea. Okay. And the gumbrant and... A non-branded ice tea.

I think it's schmipton, schmish tea. I think, you know, it's used the error, though, regardless of who it was. The fact I cut myself on a plastic bottle is pretty embarrassing. And dumb. Yeah, it's dumb. That's shame. I once gave myself rope burn from my Chuck Taylor shoelaces because I couldn't untie them. And so I was kept on, like, pulling my finger under it.

And then I was like, ow! and they had this huge big burn on it. I should have just cut them with my teeth. Yeah. I mean, teeth are the most reliable both. No, they're not. No, they're not. Say the fema's pretty reliable.

The fema's the most reliable. Isn't the fema the hardest? I think if my femur had to come up against a jersey caramel, it would do nothing. Oh, she's got me there, actually. If the femur came up against a jersey caramel. Yeah. It wouldn't know what to do with it. It wouldn't, but my teeth.

But I just tell myself getting dumber. Just having part of this conversation. The teeth wouldn't know what to do with holding up your legs and being part of a vital structure of the leg and lower body. Okay, that aside, we want to talk now about the dumb injuries that you've got. Like a bottle cap has literally sliced Shannon's finger open. Oh, yeah. Well, here we go.

In my list lately, I graded my finger. I grated my finger. I razor-bladed the top of my thumb off when I was trying to clean that. And at the weekend, I sent you guys a video. I was shaving my head. I wasn't even in that much of a hurry. And I noticed blood dripping in the shower because I was doing the shower.

You've got to get different razors. Yeah. No, because it's been so good lately. And then I've got five giant gashes on my head. Wow. The blood is. Forward. Yeah.

I didn't put a plaster on the back of my head in the mirror. Do you know how hard that is? Yeah, it's real hard. To put it on, it is. You think right's left and left to rights, up, down's up? Yeah. We want to talk now about the dumb injuries that you've got. So those times.

and it was just a tiny... A stupid burn. A stupid little thing. Yeah. I mean, I guess a lot of the avocado stone injuries are about as stupid as it gets. New Zealanders are so bad at opening an avocado into their hand. I reckon people listening who work for ACC will be going,

you think that's bad. Jeepers, creepers. Adults using kids' toys, trampolines. Oh, just have a little bounce. And then you've broken your shoulder or your arm. Oh, 800,000. We want to take your calls now. You can text through 9-696.

What was your dumb injury? We want to know. the dumb injuries that you've got and no shortage. Yeah, well producer Shannon serrated her fingers by trying to open up an iced tea. Jeepers, some of these are absolutely brutal. I

survived a car crash when my car rolled, not a scratch, got pulled out of the car by a couple of strangers. Later, as I was walking to the ambulance, I got to get checked over, I tripped up on a pathetically little stone fell over and broke my wrist. You survived your car?

That's an amazing story. How good is that? That's so good. Erin, what was your dumb injury? I was holding a big A4 envelope, and I thought I'd be really clever, kind of spin it around to get my letter into it, and it slipped, and it gave me a paper cut across the middle of my eyeball. Oh, like your eyeball. So you went like this, you kind of like spun it like that. Oh, my God, what happened?

She picked it up and moved it around to get it in the right position, and yeah, it's kind of. at, like, my eyeball. And how long does it take for that to get fixed? Oh, probably just about a week. It was around the time of Game of Thrones as well. So I had to go to hospital and have this dye put in. So I had this orangey eye. And then I got given this white cream,

which made me look like a Game of Thrones white walker for it. Yeah, it's amazing. It's avoiding you, like the play. Erin, thank you, Shay. What was your dumb injury? Um, so I was, I don't know, nine maybe. I was watching the Britney Spears concert and I slipped over on a post-it note. Were you dancing?

Were you dancing, Shay? Yeah, yeah, and I broke a bone in my foot. You broke a bone. Yeah, in my foot. The worst thing was I was holding onto my pet mouse in my hand and as I fell, I kind of naturally like squeezed my hand and I kind of popped my mouth. I got worse. Oh, I did not see that coming.

That was a great plot twist. Yeah, really good. Thank you, Shay. Amy, what was your dumb injury? Oh, well, you know, I was doing a lazy dinner. I'm pulling apart some frozen weaches. And one of them just wasn't coming apart. I was like, well, can't have that.

Oh, I'm not quite my part. I put my pinky finger at the same time. Oh, no, no, no. Okay. Like, I just saw it, right? Like, I just saw it open and went, bah. Oh, God. I was like, come, come, come, come.

You might need to call someone. Yeah. Because some of those wedges really stick together, though, don't they? And it's your instinct. I get that sharp knife. Start bloody crow-barring my part. It was a butter knife. Like, it wasn't even, they were like, was this an avocado injury?

No, no, just a butter knife with frozen wedges. Two tendons. Two tendons. Wow. Did you put that on the ACC form, frozen wedges? Yep. Well, yeah. Had to, right?

Amazing. I love that. So, so good, Amy, thank you. Keep your text coming in, 9-6. 9-6, no shortage. No. Of dumb injuries. We're talking about your dumb injuries.

God, there's so many. Someone walked into a flax bush and got a slither across the island. Oh, I'm sorry. Georgia, have you had any dumb injuries? My whole life's a dumb injury. Literally, guys, no, I'm a bit stupid. Oh, you are not. I've literally, like, put my fingers in.

the door and broken them, we've burnt like my hand cooking in the oven like honestly, you name something I've done it. Okay. I don't like hitting my racket on the floor when I'm angry playing tennis. I used to love watch my dad do this. Come on. So I hit the bottom of my shoe instead, but this day I missed my shoe and I hit my other leg

and injured my archilies. Was fine a few weeks later luckily. God. Not the Archilles. I sliced a big flap of I was ready for the word flap. Slice a big flap of skin off my middle finger with a raspberry k bar. A raspberry? What, like, do you think they'd throw?

I was going to say to you suck it sharp. Wow. Don't suck it sharp. You've got to keep it flat. Sort of work the surface evenly. Or when they say broke it and it made like some kind of sharp edge. When they were cold, they would shard. Yeah, yeah.

They would break and they would shard. Wow. Slice my finger open cutting a frozen bagel because the knife slipped to my finger was in the hole in the center. Don't do that. Give it a little. You put your hole. They put their finger in the hole in the centre of the bagel.

We're dealing with a dumb numbskow. We're telling them with the dummy dummieskow. You're just holding it up trying to balance it. It's honestly, it makes sense. I think you should all get checked for some sort of mental condition. I imagine they put their finger at the bottom. Yeah, like that.

Yeah. That's so dumb. That's a dumbest thing I've ever heard. You deserve to lose a finger if you cut a bagel like that. I'm sorry. Straightening my hair, the straightener dropped from my hands

and I caught it between my thighs. Mass of V-shaped burn on my inner thighs, just before heading out. The worst place to have a burn like that is so tender. I was showing my 6-year-old how to do armpit farts and dislocated my shoulder. Because they didn't let the hand crumble and they went clonk and I just hinged it out, popped it out.

Oh my God. As a kid, I stabbed myself through the scrotum. Now it's gone. Good. I don't remember we need to hear any more of it. It's gone. How they stabbed themselves? The text machine refreshed.

All I saw was as a kid I stabbed myself through the scrotum. I thought you said, that was gone I thought you were saying Oh now the scrotin's gone The scrotum might be gone I don't have a location The message is gone

We'll never know Oh we had a massive party when I was a teenager Got totally munted Had a great time The next day Cleaning up the house Slipped and split my kneecap open Needed stitches and a leg brace

Everyone thought they did it when I was drunk But it wasn't It was the next day Stade myself in the scrotum Found it's gone again It really doesn't want me to read this Hold on wait a minute I'm gonna find

Oh, here we go. They've re-scented in. They were so worried that I'd lost it. It's not at the top of the pile. As a kid, I stabbed myself in the sack while breaking a scrotum. I said scrotum. Bracking a stick in half.

I went over the knee and slipped and I went up and literally pierced through the scrotum. Blood everywhere. Detol sorted it out. Wow. And splinters had to be picked out with tweezers. Oh, no way.

I even developed a bit of a cool limp for a while, but no, I never told anybody it was because I paced my scrotum. Oh, yeah. I fractured my penis having intercourse How very scientifically pot I fractured my penis It's not a bone

It's not a bone Wait don't people get that little bit That little knit fresh The banjo snaps Yeah Hi Hole punched my finger All the way through

No imagine looking out And seeing through your finger That is the worst But imagine seeing that little bit come out Oh yeah We keep the little punch No it goes into that little bit behind the blow

the whole punch that catches all the dots. Yeah. You get and find your finger dot. And later on someone's making confetti and they throw it up and a bit of finger goes in the ear. You're like, oh! Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver

five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars. Tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you're you. You would like your review, and we'll review. Even where we won't even go. We'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.