ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - August 4th 2025

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

Fletch's distressed camper story Kamala says don't use bluetooth headphones SLP - Sex under or on top of duvet? Hayley and Fletch's Viaduct watching Top 6 Punny Hot Dog Headlines Vaughan's free washing line Chat GPT Shopping hack Sproull's on the prowl What caught on fire? Secret Sound is back Vaughan has a presentation for the team Fact of the day (remix included) What was the weird thing someone had in their bedroom?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's big pod. Thanks to Animate's Making Happy Happen for Pets. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Brian. Good morning. Happy Monday. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Makona World Tour continues again this week. So your chance to escape this cold winter. Was cold this morning, wasn't it? Nippy. Although I was reading this morning,

the next three months I reckon it's gonna be like quite warm but wheat. Oh, God damn it. Look, wheat I've had enough of. And we're gonna get a Nina. An Alar and Alie. Oh, a Nina. One of those.

It's a La Linea Nyof. La Linea Nyof. It's the boy and girl, eh? La Nina, Al Nina. It's a La Nina Gnof. La Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina, Gnof. It's the boy and girl, eh? La Nina, El Nino. It's a La Nina. La Nina. I thought that one was alright. What was the one that gave us a big sloppy wet summer? I think it's that one.

I would say it was in New Plymouth with you on the weekend and then back in Auckland after that. And both places, stunning weather. Yeah, stunning. Beautiful blue day. Yeah, beautiful blue day. Well, Makona World Tour makes you listen at eight o'clock your next chance for the Activator to go in the draw. We'll give you the chance all this week and then next Monday the draw will happen.

The top sixes on the way? Well, it's August the 4th. May the 4th be with you. May the, yeah, August the 4th be with you. Yeah. Fantastic style, I'll do it every day, yeah, August the 4th be with you. Yep. Fantastic, Star Wars. Do it every day, Star Wars, every month. This is good stuff.

Beam me up, Scotty. Beam me up, Chewie. Nah. Punch it, Scotty. Good for you. She knows enough about Star Wars to make... She knows enough to rile you up and make good Star Wars jokes. The top six. Well, there's going to be a a hot dog truck crash and hot dogs have gone everywhere.

And you might be aware August also marks the return of puns allowed in the top six. I banned puns for a good couple of months. There should be no punnier incident than a hot dog truck overturned. Yeah, look, if you get too carried away with puns, I will have to instigate another ban. But I reckon if you make Fletch laugh, puns are staying. Puns are back. Baby! Puns are staying, sure. It's coming up in the top six.

Next on the show, though, a man has been rescued, a hiker. Well, that's good. Was he in trouble? Well, it sounded like it, Haley. They don't tend to rescue people who aren't. It sounded like it, but it turns out he wasn't. He was just singing. Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley.

A funny story out of Canada. This happened on Thursday. There was a search and rescue team who were out training in the wilderness. And that is at the same time... Great place to train. In the wilderness. You know? What is it? at the same time. Great place to train. In the wilderness. Yeah, you know. Yeah. What is it?

Practice perfect is perfect practice. That rolled off the tongue, Chad. There should be a management with those kind of sayings. I tell you what, I feel inspired for the week after that. Yeah, get out there. Get out there. This search and rescue team were training. At the same time, a distress call came through

when two hikers heard what they described as yelling, repeated yelling of a man in distress so they called 911 or 111 or 999 or 666, number of the beast, whatever it is in Canada and they said look there's a hiker there. And they were like, well, this is very fortunate. We've got a crew training. So they went from training mode to rescue mode. Oh wow. They had a drone out and everything. And they split into two teams

and made their way towards this Boulderfields hiking area. And when they got closer, they could hear the screams themselves. So they were like, good lord, what are we in for here someone's maybe fallen off a cliff and broken their leg. That's baptism by fire isn't it? And it turns out that one of the teams found the man who was camping alone okay and was not in distress had not hurt himself but was in fact singing Nickelback Nickelback songs many

Nickelback songs. What just like in a valley and it was echoing around. Yes. Sometimes you gotta scream them And apparently was it like hey because he was in the middle of nowhere. It was just like singing like, you know You know when you've got the house to yourself or you're in the middle of the day But you can sing you having a fun time. You're having a fun time Yeah, he was singing his heart out to the trees apparently. Oh wow to rescuers fine. He was absolutely fine Yeah, see sorry once in a different story Apparently the acoustics of this area Boulder fields or whatever meant that he was like singing into this like of this area, Boulderfields or whatever, meant that he was like singing into this like amphitheatre or this echo.

And it was going into the valley and it sounded from a distance, like he was in trouble. Like distress. But yeah, so funny. I kind of love this. Do you know what I mean? Like the other day I yelled out to the heavens

and it felt good. Sometimes it's just, it's just, yeah, I yelled life is good. But I love this. What a great day he's having. Yeah they... I said I love you, why not swear I still do. The team thanked the hikers and they said the incident turned out to be nothing more than camper in need of singing lessons. It could have been very serious though.

And their response is what mattered. Yes. There they were. They were there. That would have been expensive though. Well no, they were there training. So it's already there. Great training exercise.

I would cover it up under the training. Practice perfect, just perfect practice. Oh my God, have you done a management lesson? Have you read like Rich Dad Poor Dad or something? What have you done? What's the answer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you all doing?

I don't know, a book. It's a secret. How to be a better boss or something. What's going on here? Be a better boss or something. Yeah. What's going on here? Be a better boss. Okay. Right.

Bab. Practice perfect, perfect practice. You know what they say about practicing perfectly. Yeah. Perfect practice. Wow. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. The Wonderful Carmela Harris was on Stephen Colbert

and was talking about the images that have been mocked recently online of her in a meeting with her corded headphones. Yes. And that's me on a call. So you'll see my phone is actually on my lap. So I know I've been teased about this, but I like these kinds of ear pods that have the thing.

Yeah. but I like these kinds of ear pods that have the thing because I've served on the Senate Intelligence Committee. I have been in classified briefings and I'm telling you like, don't be on the train using your ear pods and thinking somebody can't listen to your conversation. I'm just telling you that's a little bit more secure. So that's insane, eh?

So does she mean that someone could be beaming into your air pods? Not someone like you or I or Joe blogs or anyone else. But if you were a government, you know, if anyone that had any kind of, I don't know, sensitive phone calls, which she would have had a lot. Probably. But then I Google it. Cause I saw this at the weekend as well. Cause everyone which she would have had a lot. Then probably, but then I Googled,

because I saw this at the weekend as well, because everyone's just like, what? Yeah. You're telling me people can listen? Can they? AirPods use encryption, they utilize Bluetooth encryption, and Apple additionally uses a system called magic pairing,

which generates a new long-term key for each connection, an LTK, which is also security. So it's double, double-a. But if you- That doesn't mean that if you're Russia or China that you know how to hack that. Cause don't they always say that, you know, you shouldn't even connect to like a wifi network?

Yeah. A network? But then you're at an airport and you haven't like, yeah, if a weird thing hasn't activated or you've rented a data and you're just like, hey, I'll go on the free thing. And then you're on the free thing. And then you put in your email and you're like, this is a bad idea't activated or you've rented a data and you're just like, hey, I'll go on the free thing and then you're on the free thing and then you put in your email

and you're like, this is a bad idea. And then you check your internet bank and that's how they get your money. And they've got it. Yeah, they got you. I love all the comments on this online that people are like, oh my God, how embarrassing for the government

to beam into my headphones to listen to the, like to hear that I've been listening to the same song on repeat. On repeat, yeah. For months and months and months and it's an embarrassing song. It's Nickelback again. And the only person that's calling me is my mum

to say I'm okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm 40. So that's embarrassing that my mum still rings and is like, are you doing all right? Are you okay? I remember there was, one of the first radio stations I worked at had a police scanner, like for an emergency scanner.

That was good fun, eh? And you could, it was in the time when like, you could actually listen to one way cell phone calls as well for some cell phones. It was no. The old Uniden cordless was a shocker for me having been tapped in with a just slightly different than standard radio.

It was wild. Did you ever hear anything fun? Yeah, you just hear people having conversations. Oh my God, I love that, just listening in. We'd just get drunk in the newsroom and just listen on a Friday night, just listen to people having calls. Oh my god, I love that, just listening in. We'd just get drunk in the newsroom and just listen on a Friday night, just listen to people having calls. And most of them were very boring.

Yeah, but it's so- Because you couldn't hear one side of it. Fly on the wall though. Yeah, but that was like, yeah, 2000s when cell phone technology wasn't that grand. You know, I feel like I've missed out on the golden days of radio. Yes, I know.

Oh, you really have. We don't get drunk in the newsroom and beam into people's private phone calls. PC got mad. So silly silly silly that the silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole, how do you have adult fun times? I mean that's an open-ended question, let me give you the options Dot dot dot On top of the duvet

On top of the duvet Or, do you pull the duvet back? Oh my goodness And bang on the sheets like God intended Always take the duvet off, it's harder to clean It's such a nice- what have you got a waffle? Oh if you've got a waffle Let's get in all the gaps No, no we're probably having that

How do you have yadda? At least it's a hotel, like who cares? Oh dude, yeah. Yeah, but they've got a sheet on top of their duvet. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? That's why, because we'd be banging on them. Don't say we.

Oh yeah, that's really gonna rule. If we ever give the internet what they want, Hayley, and make love, I'll be pulling the duvet out. It'll be on Fletcher's couch. Well yeah, I don't know, do you ever do the only couch? I'm so jealous, because the internet used to be all about us being a gay couple and now it's not. I know. Alright, we can fix that. Come here and give me a kiss. People want to know about the Radio Awards after party.

Come here and give me a kiss you big. I heard some things coming from Fletch's room. R. No, that's not doing it for me, unfortunately. We're doing it on the sheets, guys. The duvet is a nightmare. On the sheets. Okay, what are the results? Huck them in the wash. Well, under the duvet, it's 79%.

Nice! Yes, nice. Okay, good. So 20% of people though, on top. 21% of people are doing it on the duvet! I've got a dark grey duvet. That's not, that's not you've always taken that off. Mine's navy blue.

A black waffle. Yeah, see you're asking for that. None of us are doing it. No, I know. There was a mark on one of the pillows. I was like, what in God's name is that? No, you sleep on the white pillows. No, I sleep on the white pillow,

but I just lay down on the bed at one stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a bit of just head. Yeah. I mean, my head. Like I rubbed my head. What, one stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just a bit of just head. Yeah. I mean, my head. Oh, I rubbed my head. What, like you've got some dandruff. Something like that.

It was something that was on my head. Oh, right. It wasn't beardruff, it was like a mark, I don't know. That's all I could put it down to. What do the people say? Well, let's see what the people say. Get us out of this pickle. I wanna hear from this 21% that-

Okay, well let's start with Claudia. Don't respect the duvet. Actually, it's disrespectful. You're right, soiling that thing. Under the covers is too restrictive. I didn't say the cover had to be on top of you, Claudia, but take back the duvet. Yeah, yeah.

No, you put your whip it back. Clearly those under the cover aren't having as much fun. They need to talk with Morgan Penn. Where does Morgan stand on the issue? She takes the duvet off. She respects the linens. I think she respects the linens. She respects the linens.

The sheets know that they're gonna get washed far more often than the duvet. But also we didn't take into account it's winter and we've got very cold homes in New Zealand and if you don't have a heater in the bedroom. You've gotta get a bit more rambunctious to stay warm. You know what I mean? Warm up.

Warm up. Warm up beforehand. Okay so Claudia's misinterpreted as someone pulling the covers back over. And keeping the sheets all tucked. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no that is the show's preferred scene. Separately with our individual choices, missionary wins. Yeah. Every time. Well, Fletch is very left. Fletch is unsure.

Fletch is shrunked. Okay. Newb says, ah. He's a reverse cowgirl. And he's the cowgirl. And he's the cowgirl. Get out of it. Yee-haw.

That'll get the gay rumour going again. Yeah, it'll get the cowboy picture. It'll be your cowboy picture. And then you being my cowgirl. I'm Fletch. And born. Gay cowboys. Gay cowboys.

Gay cowboys. Newb says, under for a start, but that gets yeeted off halfway through. Yeah, okay. That's also perfectly acceptable. That's respectable. That's respectable. I looked into needing extra warmth as needed, so Jen is under also perfectly that's respectable. That's respectable. I live to need an extra warmth is needed

So Jen is under the duvet. Yeah on the shade. Oh, yeah, do you need an in winter? Yeah You'd almost have to um, even in summer being a full-blown Macpack, yeah sleeping bag with a little hole cut in it. Yeah Yeah, I'll peel up from the feet, you know, unzip the face. Yeah, you should sing that through to the Mac pack development team six bag from the feet you know unzip the feet you know you should send that through to the Mac pack development team. A sex bag? A winter sex bag. A Dunedin winter sex bag. Yeah!

Or like for the high country in the huts and the yeah just a little flap with a jet. Also you know what that would actually be good for just going outside to wee for guys just having a little flap there. Like a mid zip halfway up there. Yeah! Flim your wang out. I mean they do have a side anyway, so I guess you could. But you don't want to trip it.

No, because then, you don't want, oh yeah, I'm thinking a zip might be Yeah. hard on the board. Oh no, because you got the cushion. What about a Velcro flap? Yeah, I think that's a great idea. Oh, you don't want Velcro down there. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

You don't want Velcro down there. You should be rocking some pubes. If you're rocking some pubes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Gotta get some more feedback. Ruth said,. Ha ha ha ha. Some more feedback. Ruth said depends how cold it is.

Yeah. Ruth. It's truth, Ruth. She doesn't want to be cleaning the duvet, but then if it's cold, maybe she does. But in summer. Oh, really, old ladies with the name Ruth. Really?

Yeah. Well, I like it when it gets on top of me, but I can feel the cold at my age. Ha ha ha. If I've got cold feet, there's no going back. Oh no, I make love with my bed socks on. Oh, the bed socks, of course. Alex says, it's gotta be under the duvet.

The admin involved in washing a duvet is ridiculous. Yes, thank you. You get it, he gets it. He gets it. Kayleigh said, Duff, oh, and then SquareWord, how do you keep the sheets on you? It's like doing burpees, semi smothered. Hello?

Someone is comparing their lovemaking to burpees. Wow, that's rambunctious. That's athletic. Rambunctious, yeah, you're right. That's really rambunctious. That's aerobic lovemaking. Usually anywhere but the bed, said Ash, a kid-free household for the win.

Yeah, okay. Anywhere but the bed. Anywhere but the bed. Man, we are living. Goodness. Yeah. Kitchen table? I went to kitchen living. Yeah. Kitchen table? I went to kitchen. Kitchen bench.

Kitchen bench. Tanya said, can't be on top of the duvet, the kids might walk in and get an eyeful. Oh, there you go. Yeah, lock on the door. Lock on the door. Lock on the door. And Amy said, I don't know what she answered, but she said, I get into bed like I'm a sim. I don't remember how sims come into bed.

Oh, woohoo to woohoo. Remember they get in and it's like, wahh under the duvet. And they're like, ah. Woohoo. So, Amy, thank you for that. We asked you, we said, hey, gorgeous. When you're having your adult fun time,

so you're on top of the duvet or under the duvet? 79% of you under the duvet. Play ZM's Flesh, Bone and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. So Fletch and I, oh thank you to everyone who came to my show on New Plymouth. We were just talking about the wonderful vibe from the crowd, so many ZM fans,

some wanting to see if the tattoo was real. Still there, still on, hasn't washed off yet. Yep, verified. God, that Sharpie, it lasts a long time. But afterwards, it was such a great night, but then you and I flew back on Saturday, realised we landed at the same time as our friend Mike, and we were like, let's head out

and have a little drink in the sun at the Viaduct. It was a lovely day. Lovely day. Sort of unplanned, was it? Unplanned, yeah. Completely unplanned, then his husband, Matt, joined us, then Morgan, Penn, joined us. Five of us had a lovely afternoon, people watching,

and man, we saw some characters. We saw some characters. Well, the problem was the weather was very nice. Extraordinarily nice. And so like you, unplanned and sort of unexpectedly, you find yourself in this situation, I think people get carried away, don't they? Well, not everyone was getting carried away.

We saw a group that were on like a, lots of Hennstoos stag doers. Yeah, lots of those. Someone doing like a great race thing. All these groups running past us with bandanas on. We saw these two incredible Harley Davidsons pull up and then they sunbathed on them for a bit. Then they drove off. It was kind of a rest. They were a little red, for a bit then they drove off. It was a real flex. Flexy. Yeah. So many great characters it was just like

it was really fun but my favorite moment was the moment that we're just just sitting there with our little frozen marks and Fletch goes, hey do you reckon they're gay or he's just drunk? And honestly there were these two guys and I was like they don't look gay yeah but like they were really like excuse me sir come on thread lightly what do gay people look like? Here we go, here we tell. You can tell. Oh! Am I gay? Well, people do wonder. No. No.

No, but they just look like your stereotypical heteros, but they were very- Stereotypical heteros! If you saw them before, you'd agree. You'd agree. Screaming at a gay man. Screaming at a gay man. Jenny say quack.

They weren't sparkling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They weren't sparkling. But they were just dull gays. They could be dull gays. They could have been dull gays. But this is why? They weren't sparkling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They weren't sparkling. But they were just dull gays. They could be dull gays. They could have been dull gays. But this is why he was asking the question. This is why I asked the question.

Because of one of them. Because they were very like, they were hugging each other. A rugby. Yeah, I was like, there's a couple of rugby players that have found gay love, that's nice. That's beautiful.

That's beautiful. Maybe they realised they were gay later. Yeah. You know what I mean? How old were these gentlemen? Younger than me, like 20s. 20s, yeah, like 20s. 20s, yeah, mid-20s.

But one of them in particular was really hanging off of the other guy. And that's why Fletch was like, do you reckon they're gay or he's just drunk? The moment he hit the K of drunk. Everyone turned around to look. We turned around and it would be like, I wonder if they're gay or drunk. The K came out and then the guy just goes, bleh, and like, projectile vomits. Power chucked.

Oh no. All over the footpath. Thus, answering the question. Answering the question, straight and drunk. Wow, maybe they're drunk. 2.30pm by the way, 2.30pm. 2.30, oh my god. 2.30pm.

Oh, it was so, the comedic timing of, hey, do you reckon they're gay or drunk? Bleh! And just a full drunk. Oh, like a so the comedic timing of hey, do you reckon they're gay or drunk? And just a full And then over the fence into the Harbor. Yeah poor baby And then and I think he sort of felt like he was alright And then we saw him go back and really try like pick himself up and get denied by one bar Then the next bar then the next bar, then the next bar.

We were like, hon, it's time to go home. Hard to get into a bar when you've just bombed down the front doorstep. I will say. Who's 30? Great time for a dentist appointment. Not a great time to be having a spew outsider. That's right. A bar. Please.

Zed M's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. A hot dog crash on a highway makes a mess that surprises the fire chief. Hey, hot dogs are very slippery, I didn't know that. Wow. Chasing them around.

What kind of hot dogs were you talking? Like an American hot dog, slippery, fake skinned thing. So there was a multi-vehicle crash and one of the vehicles involved was a refrigerator truck and thousands of thousands of hot dogs spilled all over the motorway. Now that's not set up for a pun based top six. I don't know what is. Let's get into it. Top six puns for the hot dog truck accident. Number six on the list, the hot dog spill was a unexpected traffic event. That's really good. I like it. Yeah, right.

Okay. Wow. I didn't expect that. I thought you were gonna turn on me early. Wasn't too bad, wasn't too bad. We gotta pull him up, I think, today. No, if there's a bad one, I'll let him know. Okay, number five on the list of the top six puns

for the hot dog truck incident, the driver must have been concentrating, but we must not relish in his mistake. Try it again. The driver must didn't. No, I see. Must didn't. Must didn't have been concentrating.

Yeah, better, better. There it is. The driver must didn't have been concentrating. But we mustn't relish in his mistakes. Yeah, okay. Number four on the list of the top six puns for the hot dog truck accident. The only wieners in this situation are the local seagulls

who asked for extra bread. Now poor. The only wieners is like winners. The only winners. No, but that's not wieners. Just sounds like wieners. Okay, number three on the list of the top six puns for the hot dog truck accident.

Onion, you glad you weren't following that truck? It's okay. That's not bad. It's still weak. It's not as good as mustard and intent. Yeah, mustard and intent. Okay, well, number two on the list, I almost didn't even introduce number two on the list

of the top six puns for the hot dog truck accident. Number two on the list, local roading authorities declared it the brat worst-case scenario. Like that. I like that. Good. Was that okay? It was pretty good. I thought you guys would have hated them. No no no no no. That's good. And number one on the list of the top six puns for the hot dog truck accident. Thankfully no one was frankenhuder in the situation. Yeah that's the best one. Come on. Yeah all right. Are puns allowed to stay? No well one a week. Sparingly. One a week even seems a lot. Pepper them. Yeah pepper them through. Pepper them through. That is today's top sir. Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchorn and Hayley. Now you remember last week, I think we had a good bit of a chat about washing lines.

Yeah. It was rock and roll stuff. It was rock, it really was. Clothing horses. Yes. You own an apartment, you don't have a washing line. I don't have a washing line. Yeah.

Cause we got it removed. What angle to put them on. Yeah. I tried the arms up for the sheets. It does work. Yeah, bravo. Yeah. Cause it was our silly little poll last week, do you remember? Yeah. Arms straight out or up for the sheets. It does work. Yeah, bravo. Yeah, cause that was our silly little poll last week.

Do you remember? Arms straight out or up. Arms up. And most people are arms straight out. And then we just talked about how you'll never get a better washing line than a rotary washing line. The classic Kiwi slash Aussie clothesline, yeah. Mine's gone, it broke, and then I just cut it off

at the base, and I've been using clothes walls as well. Heroes don't all wear capes. Some have rotary washing lines. Cause Teagan messaged me, she said, we're subdividing our section. There's an old school, exactly how you described your nana's wind the handle to get it up into the stratosphere jet stream of a breeze.

It's just gonna go to waste. Oh, so in a personal recession? In a personal recession, I'm being offered a free washing line. Do you want it? Like a charity can. It's in Cambridge. Shucks.

That's hard. I love Cambridge though. Beautiful spot. But you know who lives there? My sister. Oh yeah. Oh, no, you're not doing that. So you're like that person

that's won something off trade man. They're like, can you just pick up my trade? Yeah, but imagine if it was a huge, you can't take it apart. It's as is baby. Right. Just washing hands. But the arms come down.

Oh my God, just go buy one. Like just after pay or something. It doesn't fold, the arms don't fold down. Just like go buy one. Just buy one. It's like one of those Hills ones that your nana had that you could swing on. They were so strong growing up.

I'm saying no to you. So she's like, yeah, her and her partner Heath, Heath's like, yeah, I can do it. That's lovely, eh? And I was just like, wait, they're gonna get it up here or just go and pick it up for you? Well, I was just like, if you could just go and see that it's all right, and if it's cool, just take it.

And if it's your place, I'll get mum and dad down with the yurt. Oh, so now it's mum and dad's problem. So it's a father issue. So this is Saturday morning. She's like, we'll go for a bike ride. We're going to get some sushi in town and we'll stop in and have a look.

And he's like, yeah, she's in pretty good, no. You're telling me Saturday morning there's sushi open in Cambridge. Sushi's a- It's not 1940. No sushi, you don't eat sushi on the weekends. No sushi's weekdays, I'm like. Sushi's weekdays only.

This is what's weird to me. It's like sushi's is before 3pm max. No this was a Saturday lunchtime. Sushi is not for dinner. And sushi is not for weekends. I agree sushi's not for dinner but what's wrong with a Saturday sushi? You don't get a grip.

Do St. Pierre's have a sushi of the day on Saturday? Of course they do. Then it is a sushi day. No. They're going to get sushi. By the by. Fletcher, I'm so glad you agree with me. We don't have sushi on the weekends. It's like a treat for when you don't want

to make lunch on a weekday. It's a weekday lunch. It's a weekday lunch. Calm down, everyone. It's not a weekend thing. I think you two would be in the vast minority of people that wouldn't eat sushi at the weekend. No, text in 9696 if you indulge in sushi in the weekend.

Predominantly, it's a weekday food. It's not a weekend food. Is sushi a weekday only food or will you also add it in the weekends? Someone just messaged in Saturday sushi slaps. I don't think it does. Wow, okay. We're eating sushi on Wednesdays and Thursdays. So your weird sister is going to get sushi on a Saturday.

Yeah, yeah, so she bikes past and they have a look at their washing line and she's like, and he's like, yeah, it's all good. And I was like, oh, sweet. Can you just take it back to your place? Not on your bike. You were just giving people problems. So he's like, well, we've got nowhere to put it. Well, I'm just going to cut it off, chuck it on a trailer.

I'll bring it straight up. What do you mean cut it off? Because isn't it concreted in? Cut it off at the base with an angle grinder. But if you cut it off at the base, yours is gonna be shorter. So he's an engineer and he's like, I'll just whack a new bit of pipe on it.

Oh, this is no longer free. This is a nightmare for your family. So then I'm like, you absolutely don't need to. They're like, yeah, it's happening. Like we've got the trailer, it's underway. This is nice. The great washing line relocation of 2025. And then they send me a photo of what they're gonna drive

like from Cambridge to Auckland, along the 110 kilometre an hour expressway. I'm like, that thing's gonna catch a bird. Really? And they, okay, so. Was it a washing line? Anyway, by 5.30 that night, I've got a brand new, I've got a brand new to me washing line in the ground.

Wow. How did it get to you? On a trailer. They brought it up. Higgledy, higgledy, they towed Set up on a trailer. They brought it up. They towed it up on the trailer. Did you reimburse with your? Had you coverage? I just, no I cooked them dinner. Okay, well that's nice.

Cooked them dinner and a thank you beer, not a sushi. No no no no, Saturday night is certainly no time for a sushi meal. Guys, we've inundated with messages here. Yeah good. But I'll just wrap this up. You wrap you up and I'll. Washing line's on.

Yesterday I did five loads of washing and got everything dry on the rotary line. Wow. Can you, I've got two sets of sheets. Can I hit you with my sheets? You absolutely bring them into work. I'll take them. Don't rummage around them.

I'm not gonna rummage around the sheets. Do you know what I mean? Just pop them in the machine. But I want to thank Teagan. And you know what Teagan's dog's name is? Fletch. Really? Teagan's dog's name's Fletch.

He's not listening. Is it? Is it really? Yeah. She said to my sister, I need to reiterate to you, it's not named after Fletch. We're not like crazy.

Oh, right. It sounds like it is. Now, producer Shannon has a question for you regarding your new clothesline. Yes. I do. No, it won't fit in your apartment. Okay, turn off my mic.

Carmen Billy fits in her apartment. Rude. No, it's not on you Carmen, it's the apartment. Now I would love to bring some culture to your washing line. I look at you and you scream culture, what would you like? Thank you.

You wanna place it? You wanna put a Lou Boo Boo on it. Can we play the Goon game? Oh, the Goon Bag of Fortune? Yeah. Yeah, we can. Will it handle a Goon Bag? Yep.

I remember seeing someone get hit side on by a rotary clothesline Goon at full speed. Oh, slap. And it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Could we also swing from it? No, no, no. That's not, I don't think it's that sturdy.

Cause it's just kind of a jam. I don't think it's that. So messages in, had sushi for dinner last night. So that's dinner and Sunday. Wait, like was it in a bento box? Because that's okay. So bento box we're not talking about. It's just sushi. Sushi is definitely a weekend lunch as well. Saturday and Sunday sushi is better than a weekday.

I would go far to say I only eat sushi on Saturdays. Now someone's messaged in, I feel very passionately that butter chicken is a dinner only food. Oh, okay. When you're grown up it is. Yeah. Unless you're having leftover butter chicken for lunch the next day to make the most

because you're in a personal recession. Unless you're hungover and it's at a food court at lunchtime then that's okay. Fletch and Haley are right, aree sushi. Another person says sushi, definitely a weekday lunch, no question. Midweek sushi treaties, but also homemade sushi at the weekends pretty good.

You and we're not talking about homemade sushi. We only do weekend sushi. If you've got the money to be eating sushi during the week, you're living a different life. Well, we are. And you know. You're doing well for yourself. Wow, that's crazy.

Okay. So a lot of people actually smashing sushi on the weekends, which has shocked me, I I'll say to my core. You know what I'm going to open my mind. The person who said they had the Sunday night sushi, it was just straight up sushi, no bento. On a night? No! Not with a side of rice and chicken? No katsu chicken.

No meat and no soup. No weird little portion of pickled things. Just like eight bits of soup. That's so weird. But you know what, I'm gonna open my mind. Do you know what, this weekend, where am I? I'm in Hamilton. This weekend I'm going to, I'll have some sushi and I'll see how I feel. At lunch?

I'll see how I feel. At lunch, not at dinner, I'm not a monster. Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley. What were you gonna call me? Fletch-Born and Hayley. Fletch-Born and Hayley. So there is, someone shared online, I'm gonna put this to the test. You can use ChatGPT.

Man, I don't ever use it, but when I watch people use it, I'm like wow. What do you mean you don't ever use it? Well, the only thing I use it for is the bullet point long articles. That's the only thing. Dude, I use it shockingly every day. There's some of my recent questions to it. Yeah. Oh no, that's about a fact of the day.

I want to keep that one secret. Oh, okay. Daffodil translation, Welsh, how to fat-trim short ribs, IBS gender ratio, funny Russian stereotypes. I love this. Nudity and privacy debate. I watched Morgan use it over the weekend. It was incredible.

I find it fascinating. So people are using it now. This is a little hack for the girlies who like to shop. Or the boyies actually and the non-binarys. Actually it's for everyone. God, I stumbled through that. This is if you like to shop online and you know we love a discount code.

Oh my God, yeah. Sex.life for 20% off Wild Secrets. For example, if you want to get yourself a nice little... I'll always... If I see the discount code box, I'll always have a search. Yeah, welcome 10, summer 25, whatever. I thought, what did I get the other day? What did I get?

But I found a 10% off code and it was just good. It was... I didn't expect it. Why not? So people are using ChatGPT to look for Verify because there's some websites and you go find me a code and you put it in and it's done. Jess 10, start there. Or like any popular influencer name.

And then Jess 15 and then Jess 20 and just keep searching for where, how big a deal Jess is. I hate when you're trying to find a discount code and you go to those websites and you've got to click the thing and then it reveals it and there's a lot of span and pop up windows and a lot of the time it's crap. So basically you go on chatgpt.com or whatever, whatever your choice is of AI and you just put in,

hey, can you find me a discount code for whatever website you're on? Yep. And then you're on. And then Sheehan, ASOS, whatever. And it comes up with the verified discount codes for that website. So I'm gonna try it. I just put in, I put in Sheehan,

and then the guilt riddled me. So I'm gonna. Yeah, because of the fast fashion. Yeah, the fast fashion. And I don't wanna be discounting children. You know what I mean? Just child labour. So I went to The Iconic, which has lots of different brands.

You can buy heaps of things on there. And I just said, can you find me some discount codes for The Iconic? And it went brrroop, and here you go. Top discount codes for The Iconic, all verified. $20 off your first order. I've shopped from there before, can't you say? Yeah, but you used another email address.

I'm onto my like eighth email address. Yeah, but then I've got to make up another email address. I'm onto my like eighth email address. Yeah, but then I'm gonna make up another email address. $50 off on orders over 250. I've added an address to my cart, by the way, just to try this, it's 141 cart. Okay, 75 over there. 10% off, 25% off. Okay, I'm gonna go event 25.

I'm gonna try that. Event 25? Yeah, that's pretty good. I don't mind a 25% off, event 25. Apply, invalid. Oh! Okay, hang on, they're giving me more. Try Jess 10.

Black 30. But that's a Black Friday sale. No, it's for black dresses, and I've got a black dresser, mate. Oh, okay. Because what else would I ever wear, ever? Black 30, invalid. Try Jess 10.

Jess 10? Invalid. Invalid. Try Jess 20. Hey, Hayley 20. Invalid. Okay, let me go on a different website. I always like trying Welcome 10.

Or 10 Off. Oh, 20 Off. Welcome 10. That's a popular one. I am opening up the text machine, I feel like our listeners might have some. Welcome 10. Mostly the messages just saying that Hayley needs

to go to Cambridge for sushi. 10 Off. Okay, right. I need to go to Cambridge for sushi. Apparently this particular Okay right. I need to go to Cambridge for sushi. Apparently this particular sushi place people know what that is. I'm in Hamilton this weekend, yeah yeah yeah yeah. Okay, let's go. No, ten off's not working either.

Okay, so this hack that you just gave us. Sucks. Ah, sucks. Well who am I? Shannon? Oh that was mean, she just flipped the bird and I actually think I deserved that. I got flipped off and I deserved that. That was nasty. That was workplace bullying.

That came out of nowhere. I'm catching strays. Yeah, I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve that. Okay, well, but surely this must work. I want ASOS. Okay. Do you know what I mean?

Cause I'm like, give me some codes. But they were saying they're verified and maybe it's just like the iconic's a little bit too. Or they were verified like, you know, like codes only might be for the week. August 2025, so it dates it as well. Oh, okay. I mean, I got a whole bunch of Sheehan ones.

I mean, just keep, I mean, it's just worth a try. Yeah, yeah, try it, cause the Sheehan ones, NZ Shee 15 for new users on New Zealand. Yeah. I would never buy anything full price. Always hankering for a discount. Do you want a quick update on the is sushi a weekday only food?

Actually I think we should keep that going the whole show. Currently 76% of people said they love a weekend sushi. Really? 24% said weekdays only. We're in a minority. I'm actually happy to, yeah for the first time in a while. I'm actually happy to accept defeat here

and open my mind to weekend sushi. And a lot of people are texting in some Hamilton options for me this weekend. Okay, lovely. Okay, fantastic. I will share my review of weekend sushi. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I went to New Plymouth over the weekend to do my show. Thank you to everyone who came. It was lovely. And my lovely friend Fletch came with me to support me. And before we went to the airport, we were like, let's go grab a little coffee

just down the road from your place, Fletch. And so we went to Daily Bread. I was just gonna say, our cafe. Well, I know, but I,. By saying the cafe I might get some assistance. Oh no see again. I got my music ready. Ready? Oh god this is a bit much. Sproul on the prowl. Sproul on the prowl. Listen. It's a bit of an old song isn't it? Yeah I don't know. Band on the raw.

I mean the Beatles are timeless. What's? Pormacating Wings. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Close enough. Yeah. So we're in the line and I was having a look at the cabinet and I hear from Fletch say oh my god Hayley facial tattoos. And I hear from Fletch say,

oh my God, Hayley, facial tattoos. Yeah, and I've clocked Hayley's type. I'm like, Hayley, this is your type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a heavily tattooed man up here and Hayley is like, a luga. A luga. Whiplash neck like this.

Like a pie is on the windowsill and she's just floating towards it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just having a little looky-poo at Tattoo Fella. And then we get there, it's so busy at this cafe, and we get up to, there's two tills on the go, and we get up there and the girl's till opens for us and his one, you know, like, I was like, damn it, damn it. Also I was looking like a minger on Friday by the way so I put my sunglasses on I was like full minger mode like it was not good she was hiding herself yeah so it wasn't the time to you know flirt with someone yeah okay yeah

yeah so and then and then I will say Fletch my dear friend he gets down to the seat where we're sitting first and he sits back to the cafe so I get the front view. Isn't that nice? So I can look out. You know why? It's because we talked last week about how guys should always give the women the comfy padded booth seat. And I sat in the booth seat, you know, just reactionary. Yeah. And I thought, no, no, I'm going to give Hailey the booth this time. So I can look out and observe said Tarou Man. And then, so Fletch is trying to have a good conversation with me,

catch up as friends, but I'm not listening. Do you know what I mean? I'm distracted. Yeah. And I'm having a, I was just having a little look. And then I thought, I'll do a move. This is outrageous. I could never do this.

So I just opened up an Instagram and I open up the Daily Bread Instagram, like their actual Instagram, and I just messaged them on Instagram, DM. Well, the employer of this gentle fellow. Yeah, sort of the company gentle fellow. Yeah, the company. This is outrageous manoeuvre.

And I just said, Daily Bread. Okay, who is the heavily tattooed boy who works at Daily Bread Britomart? And is he single? Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes. That's wild, eh? I don't think it was that wild. That's wild.

I don't think it's that wild to DM an employer. It's bold. It's bold, but you know who gets the grease? Bold. The squeaky wheel. Oh yeah, okay. Right, the bold. I would have said the bold.

The bold and the beautiful. I wouldn't have said got the grease, I would have changed what you got. Yeah. You know who gets the... Well see, that's the wrong analogy. A squeaky wheel. Yeah, no, you're right.

What is it? Yeah, you're right, a squeaky wheel gets the grease as if you were speaking up and, you know, that's not appropriate. I did miss a detail though, Yeah, you're right. It's not. It's like it well gets the grease, as if you were speaking up and, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not appropriate. I did miss a detail though, because why, like to force me to do this kind of bizarre behaviour,

at one point Fletch does clock that he's British. Well, I thought he sounded British, but he might not be. I just heard, I was like, I think he's British. I heard a sort of accent or something. That's a bad one. That got Hayley even more excited. Oh, I was gonna say, I thought that you were

marking that down as a negative. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, tattoos and a passport. Do you know what I mean? Now I'm excited. Oh, I was going to say, I thought that you were marking that down as a negative. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, tattoos and a passport. Do you know what I mean? Now I'm thinking. Oh, hello. This is wild. Anyway, what I love, and I will say shout out to Daily Bread, who messaged me back.

Again, yeah, giving them the... Yeah, again, saying the business. No, no, I'm just saying, help. They messaged me back saying, leave it to us, detective. They were with a little detective emoji and eyes and I sent them Lucille bluth's when doing the wank Yeah, and then that's it. It's been it's Monday. That was on Friday Every 15 minutes Haley was like they have a message. Yeah, still a message. No, I see now you seem desperate I like the part where you said bold. I mean I

Oh, I see, now you seem desperate. I like the part where you seem bold. I mean, I'm bold, I'm beautiful, I'm not desperate. I haven't looked at the daily, I haven't looked at the Instagram. I would have thought messaging them was desperate, but maybe, who knows? He had a cropped t-shirt, anyway. He had a cropped t-shirt? Yeah, it's cute.

How cropped? And a nice slack, he had kaha slacks on and he'd just trimmed the bottom of the t-shirt. So it's just that, just above the belt line. Near hat on, any time. Like if he reached to get something off the top of his shirt, you're getting Tom. You're getting Tom. If he reached to get something off the top of your shirt, you're getting Tom. You're getting Tom. If you reach to get something off the top of your shirt,

it's time to call. Okay. Anyway, do you know what I mean? I think I'm gonna crush on this guy. Yeah, you know you back off! Hey, whoa. If you, if you- We'll let him choose.

He honestly is like, I choose my girlfriend that I already have, clearly. Yeah. Honestly, I just, you Honestly, be bold this week. It's Monday. Head into the week bold. Head into the week bold. 23 minutes away from eight.

Do you know once I did this, just to go back, when I was 20 years old, there was a very, again, heavily tattooed coffee maker at a cafe. There's a theme here. There is. And I slipped in, I was like, I'm gonna ask him out on a day and I had a five dollar note and I had a note underneath that said, fancy a drink and my phone number. Yeah. And I went in there one day and I was like, and I don't know, I get my little moccaccino probably, no it was a chai latte, I'm mortified but that was years ago. And I

slipped this thing so he could get the note with my number on it and he tried to flirt back. It was like, it's on me. And I was like, no, no, no, no. He was like, no, no, it's on me today. And I was like, no, no, no, no, you need to take the money. He was like, no, I'm trying to shout you a coffee. And I was like, I'm trying to give you my phone number. And then I shoved it in his hand. Anyway, we went out a couple of dates.

It was nice. Oh, lovely. You gotta shoot your shot, babe. Bold. Play ZM's Fleshborn in Haley. Oh lovely! You gotta shoot your shot, B. Bold! An Australian TikToker was celebrating her 24th birthday. Gosh! Yeah, so that means she was born in 2001. Which is impossible because that's 10 years ago.

24, she leans over to blow out her candles and they're those long, really long thin candles. Yeah, aesthetic based. French candles. Call me old fashioned, I like a squat fat candle. I like a squat fat candle with stripes. Yeah, and so the wax, whew whew whew. On my last birthday I used Akoya candles.

It was a giant cake. The cake was huge. And they were all the fat glass ones. I was going to say, you'll struggle to find a squatter. Yeah, fatter candle than that. It left like giant holes in the cakes though. The cake got very dense because of the weight of the glass of koia candles. It was a beautiful smelling birthday. Well she leant over to blow out those candles. There were 45 of them as well. I know.

And to make all the mixed sense was really confusing. It was fresh air, sweet jasmine, it was a lot. So carry on. 46 million people have watched her lean over to blow out the candles and her hair go. 46 million people. Oh my God. 46 million people have watched it.

I mean some of those might be somebody going back for another wash. You'd be gutted because your hair's gone, but you'd be gutted because now you're famous for like 15 minutes. For an embarrassing thing as well. Yeah, yeah. That is, I've seen lots of people doing that,

like on TikTok, not in real life, but leaning over like that and their hair just dipping in. And especially if you've got extensions and especially if they're synthetic. Oh yeah, they'd go up super fast. They go up, yeah. I've got extensions in my hair. They're real human hair,

but the little beads at the top, they'd melt. Who's this human hair from? Is it some small child in Africa? No, it's Janine from Kapiti. I traced it. She grows real fast. Well, it's because it's free range hair, it's got the little stamp on it, so you know why.

Yeah, it's free range, it came from a happy Janine. Not the cat, it's just cage hair. Because you don't want cage to you in here. No, I don't have cage. Janine roams free in company. And she just told us to have a happy day growing hair for me. Janine! Janine grew this hair. Well, Grace, whose hair caught on fire,

said in classic Aussie fashion, I'll say drunk, I didn't even notice. Oh no, darling. You'd notice that smell, there's nothing worse than the smell of burnt hair. Yuck. So quick. And then all of her friends just do that.

Cause hair, light's easy, but also goes out easy. You can like put it out without it burning you. So all of her friends are like smacking her face to put it out. So I don't know if she's going to be showing a new pixie haircut at some stage soon, but we want to talk about what caught on fire this morning. What, you accidentally caught on fire?

What did you accidentally catch on fire? I've done it with... Made caught fire? What? What did you accidentally catch on fire? Does that, it's not right though, is it? Yeah, what did you accidentally set ablaze? Set on fire, you would say what did you accidentally set on fire?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's better. Yeah, yeah, because I reckon you have a few girls texting you if they're hair dipping in. Oh no, oh no. Yeah, they're already coming in. Yeah, someone said they're a teacher at a religious school so a lot of candles involved. Yeah.

We've had quite a lot there. Oh, okay, yeah. 0800 DALSATMSNUMBER, text through 9696. What did you, wait no, you've nailed the wording. What did you accidentally set on fire? An Australian TikToker went to blow out her birthday candles but set her hair on fire. She sure did.

I'll tell you what, she's not the only one setting her hair on fire. There was that, so I mentioned this before, I'm a teacher at a religious school, lot of candles. Yeah. You think the Catholics, they love candles. Yeah. We had them all lined up across the front of the You think the Catholics, they love candles. We have them all lined up across the front of the stage

in the hall, there was a student there and they all have to line up at the front at the end of the service, but unfortunately he has very, very long hair, bent down, managed to catch himself on fire in front of the whole school and guests. You would never, what would your nickname be? Firecrotch.

Do you know what I mean? And there would be no explanation as to why. It's just funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nikki, what happened? Yeah, this was a little while ago, but I was at my best friend's wedding and during the speeches I accidentally, I was playing with the candles on the table and I accidentally caught the napkins on fire.

Okay. Were the speeches going on too long? You were just bored fidgeting? Yeah. Yeah. They always do, don't they? Nothing ends boring speeches like just setting the place on fire. I think it's actually smart from you. Love that.

Thanks, Nicky. So many messages. As a kid I did a cartwheel in the living room. I'm not allowed to do that. No. Kicked the TV out of the wall unit and it caught on fire. I blew it out and lied about why the TV was broken when my parents got home. I would have just done it.

It just caught on fire, Mum. Yeah, I was just watching it and then like, obviously you got a cheap TV, Mum. It was caught on fire. Why do you and Jack get a cheap TV? Oh, someone put butter in the microwave, forgot that the foil doesn't go in the microwave. That explodes. That'll do it. That explodes into flames.

My dad accidentally set his speech papers on fire at my brother's wedding. Candles, candles on the table. Candles. You've got to use those electronic candles. They're so classy. That waver light. Yeah, that flicker. Yeah, look at that flickering.

Classy. Keep your texts coming in, 9696. My eyebrows when I was lighting a ciggy. With the barbecue. With the barbecue because no one had a lighter. Oh no, that's dangerous. Oh don't be doing that. That is dangerous stuff.

I set my mum's kitchen on fire when I was 14. Two fire engines, two police cars. We were never allowed to stay home during the school holidays alone again. Insurance paid for a lovely new kitchen for mum though. Oh lovely! That's nice, it would be mad. Sandy, what did you accidentally set on fire? Hi, it was back in the day with our flat parties and we

couldn't find any balloons so the guys thought they'd blow up some condoms and hang them from the ceiling and one guy thought he'd put a lighter to it thinking it was hot. But they don't, they catch on fire. Do they? What? Yeah. You were telling me if there's a balloon, a condom that's full, and you put a lighter to it, it doesn't pop? No, well this one caught on fire. This one caught on fire.

I don't know if it's because they're kind of wet with the lubricant. They're covered in the lubricant and the spermicide. So then it starts melting the plastic. But if you squeezed it, it would pop, right? Yes. Weird. Amazing. Science happening, Sandy, science.

Okay, and so what, it set on fire and what, did it set the roof on fire? Right? Yes. Weird! Amazing! Science happening, Sandy, science. Okay, and so what, it set on fire, and what, did it set the roof on fire? So it set the ceiling on fire, and then it started dripping down, and burning the carpet. Oh! Oh my!

I don't want to be back in the day with a pure wool. Yeah. Oh no, it's probably synthetic if it caught fire, wool's pretty resistant. Was this someone's flat, or someone's house? Like, did you get your bond back? Yeah, it was a flat. Oh, okay.

So not getting the bond back then? No, no, no. The owner was a brain freeze. But the guy that was... One of the guys was trying to stomp out the fire and ended up with burns on his foot, which he then had to explain to the doctor how he got the burns on his foot.

Condoms, obviously. Condoms. Flaming conies. Flaming conies! Flaming conies. This isn't Big Sandy, is it? Pardon? This isn't Big Sandy? Who texts Sandy?

No. No, no, no. It was Big Sandy that texted. We get Sandy that messages in and she's Big Sandy. You sound like the same calibre of great human. Great yarn, Sandy. Thank you, Sandy.

Ask some messages in. Our neighbours accidentally lit their house on fire by vacuuming up embers and creating a bomb within their vacuum cleaner. Oh my god. No one was hurt but the house burnt to the ground. Oh my god. Cause yeah, you think it's all out.

I've seen people vacuuming out of fire and all of a sudden the vacuum cleaner's on fire. I was playing with a lighter on the bus when the girl in front threw her hair back over the seat straight into the flame. Oh dear. Turned the wrong element on, had a plastic chopping board. I did this the other day on the element so I could cut and throw straight into the pot. We had to get something from the fridge turned around the flames were nearly to the ceiling. Oh this is very dangerous. Smoke alarms. It goes so fast eh fire. My husband's drunk party trick. Yep. Oh

gosh. Was to light alcohol in glasses and then suction it to his breast area. He has impressive scarring from the night that he went to do this, but the glass was still burning. Liquor slipped and set his pubic hair and groin area on fire. Okay, that's, I think. Because I guess you light it and then you go, blow it out the hot airs and then you stick it on yourself.

It cools down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it, a back draught or something they call it? Yeah, but that, you don't sun your nipples. But not on those of your titties at the outback, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's frowned upon. So, that's, he set himself on fire.

There's actually quite a few terrifying, accidental setting a house on fire. I'd actually take this as a great reminder today to check the lint trap in your dryer. And your smoke alarms, just push the button. Yep. Actually, we're out here saving lives. Spledgeforn and Hayley, laugh out louder

and save lives harder. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Just before we get to your announcement Vaughan, Well I am an announcement. Brent, you did have an announcement. Brent from the newsroom, is here with breaking news I believe. Yeah, big news.

I've seen a lot of trumpet emojis flooding the comments on Insta over the weekend and it got me thinking, you know, what's's all this about what is the meaning behind this and so I have got some very urgent intel we have launched an investigation an investigative ticker ticker of June last now okay usually I just chuck me in a studio and someone else does the investigation yeah I know you're just the voice guy I know so it's good to be leading it. And I've spotted sound keeper Brooke lurking in a trench coat.

And that can only mean one thing. ZM's $50,000 secret sound is back. Yes! Officially kicking off Monday, August 11. So a week today. Hell yeah. The trumpets. All weekend I was out out I was looking at my

Instagram like why are people trumpeting me? And they were doing it on our personal ones. Yeah I got trumpet messages. Yeah. Wow. Huge news. So okay so Monday, next Monday, this Monday, this Monday coming. So not today. Not today. This Monday coming. ZM Secret Sound returns $50,000. $50,000 bucks. That's good Investica to give it to. Who are we talking to? New Plymouth knew, because one of our winners not last time the time before. Or was it last time? It was the last time winner and it was she we bumped into her in New Plymouth and she was like I was so offended everyone said it wasn't excited enough but I was just really overwhelmed and we bumped into her in New Plymouth and she was like, I was so offended. Everyone said I wasn't excited enough, but I was just really overwhelmed.

And we bumped into her and she is literally, I think it was this week, off to Thailand using her $50,000. She said it has taken them this long to decide whether to be smart with the money or fun with the money. They've gone fun. Yeah, go fun.

Go fun. Go fun. Well, $50,000, it's a life-changing amount of cash. Oh my gosh. Especially in these, like you're in a personal recession, of cash especially in these like you're in a personal recession Vaughn. Yeah I'm in a personal recession. I was just gonna give you you could buy 13,160 bottles of milk two liters bottles of milk at $3.80. But that's gonna go off, that's gonna expire. Oh yeah you're not all at once. What about butter? What does butter go for a block? Like 10, 10 ish?

For a 500. So you got special, you might get a... So 4500 about ish. So you get a lifetime of butter. Or you know, like go to Thailand, like our last one was just a bit more fun. 1.5 kg frozen chook. Yep.

$9.50, you get 5260 of those frozen chooks. But you prefer, you prefer yours5,260 of those frozen chocs. But you prefer yours cooked at Bachelor's Handbag. Was it Bachelor's Handbag? Yeah, they might be $14. Really? To $16, $18. Hey guys, who goes free range?

Bachelor. Yeah, depends if you get the posh ones. You get $3,571 Bachelor's Handbag. See, that's like years and years of eating. But don't eat, buy them all at once. They do not last. The average New Zealand weekly rent nationwide is $620. It'll get you 80 weeks of rent.

Okay. So sound keeper Brynn, is she, cause man last time she was locked away. She came out, I'll say pale and scrawny, you know, underfed. Are we going to look after her this time? Malnourished, tired. Maybe more snack, maybe an IV drop. Is she going to tell you the sound Bryn? You got a big mouth.

Yeah, I'll probably put it in my news by mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So don't tell me anything. If you get any more intel I can't know. It's good not to know. I don't wanna know either. There we go, it's official. ZDM's $50,000 secret sound returns on Monday.

Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I've got a presentation. An announcement. Okay. Yep. Shannon? Oh you've involved Shannon? Oh god. Shannon if you would? Oh my god. What is happening? Shannon's bringing in now something hidden in a rug or blanket. Oh my god surely this is this is Lady Di. She's guessed it. Oh my god she's here. Oh she's so much bigger than I thought. Oh wow. For new listeners to the show or short termers or Johnny come lateles there's a there's a a long running situation. My Nan Marlene, my last surviving grandmother

who passed away a few weeks ago, collected porcelain dolls and the crown jewel in her piece was this beautiful Princess Diana. Yes. But I think she paid through the nose for it. Really? Iconic, Iconic. Have you Google searched to see if this is worth any money?

No, I haven't actually. Before you just leave it here at work for people to faff around with? She's got the shoes, this is an iconic outfit and look for Princess Di. Can I ask, we're all thinking, is she wearing undies under there? Do you know what?

In all my years, this was purchased when I was a young fellow. Like I just saw you lifted up your dress and they put shoes on it, like what's the point? She's got an undersleeve. This feels sacrilegious. This feels not right. The dress is glued. Of course it is.

But look, is she wearing panties? I can't. No, she's wearing an undersleeve. Please, I can't. Now the rule is this has got to be respected. Wait, the rule is it's got to be respected. The first thing we're doing is checking to see if Princess Diana's wearing undies. What are you doing?

Putting my finger up there. Okay. The under slip is quite tight. Yeah, I think so. I think so, the under slip is underwearing upon itself. Iconic. But this is a famous, iconic Princess Diana look. That's gonna look so good in the studio.

I know, I think it just goes over there in the corner and she keeps an eye on our show. She's sort of the patron saint of the show. Yes, yes. A plant that says cheers to Lady Di. I think a plant that says cheers to Lady Di and then just a little note maybe underneath it says like please respect. This is to be treated with respect. Yeah this is to be treated with the utmost respect. Just so you know Bree and Clint and other people know. Princess Diana and my grandmother. And your lovely grandmother. Wow, so she's kind of in a sort of leaning position.

Sort of a familiar pose that we would have seen the People's Princess in addressing maybe a child in the crowd or. Yes, hello, sort of looking down as she was want to do. She was very approachable as a princess. As she was want to do. Yeah, that's why we call her the people's princess Yes, you know what this is an honor actually for you to share this with us

I will share it. Well you didn't want it at your house did you? I actually would I just put it somewhere where it wasn't like in main view But I would have it around because yeah, this will always remind me of my grandmother. Yeah But it doesn't it doesn't go with the aesthetic of your home whereas this studio has no aesthetic. No, it's a higgledy-piggledy. And that's exactly how the princess would have liked it. Shannon is going to put a photo on her Instagram. Of us with Princess Diana? Just Princess Diana. Do people want to see under the frock? No, we can't. Please have some respect for the purpose princess. I will be having a further

investigation though because my curiosity has absolutely skyrocketed and I'm just guessing plastic mound like a Barbie. I think if you could hold her... There's not going to be a detailed vagina under there. What do you think, she's got labia. I'm not saying, I just said there'll be a mound like a Kindle. Majora, menorah, everything. There's not going to be any detail down there. Of course there wouldn't be. Why would I doubt there's even nipples? Now I've got to know if she's got nipples. Are they areolas?

Don't be harsh to her. They've glued it down. Don't be a country. Your man would not like to know that you're doing that. No. I'm going to look up the skirt though. To see if we've got Majora or Manora. Okay.

Play ZM's Fleshborne in Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do do. Hey actually, we received a DM You got you got a hearing in my mouth. Oh, yeah. Um hot. Hey, don't you hate it? From Ryan, okay, and he said just before we get into fact of the day Yeah, he said this fact of the day dance remix won me fourth place at this year's RockQuest.

Now I don't believe he was in this RockQuest, but he's made us a remix of Fact of the Day. I think Shannon's putting it in the button bar. Yeah, I've got it here. Okay, this is Ryan N. Zed's remix of the Fact of the Day tune. FACT OF THE DAY! DAY DAY DAY DAY! Oh my gosh! Oh my god, I instantly love this.

Oh my god, I instantly love this. Oh my god, I love this so much. Oh my god, I love this. Oh my god, I'm obsessed. Okay, just think of this, counting down to New Year's with this. Oh my god, this rules. This could be one of the summer's biggest this. Oh my god this rules. This could be one of the summer's biggest hits. I need this on my gym playlist. This is really nice.

Remember last week when I said Lewis Capote give us something to dance to and then I said I was going to make a song and I didn't make a song. This isn't that. I just wanted to say, this is what I meant. This is something to dance to. ["Fact of the Day"] Okay, it might be 52 seconds, might be a bit long to intro Fact of the Day every day. We'll get him to drag it out.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I mean, for a commercial song, it's probably two minutes max these days. Yeah. So that's all it needs to be. That filled me with such joy. Yeah, that was joyful, wasn't it? Yeah.

Just sit back down, that really got me up out of my seat. Linguistic oddities is this week's Fact of the Day, where I'll be telling you names for things that you might not have even known existed. For example, today we are learning about pangrams. Do you know what pangrams are? Pangrams. Instagrams by pansexuals.

Pan, you silly boy! Not wrong. Is the, is the QuickRound Fox, is that the pangram? Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals.

Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals.

Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. Pansexuals. That would be a cool thing to say when you're shocked. Well, pack my box with five grams of liquor jerks. Five dozen liquor jerks.

Five dozen liquor jerks. How quickly daft jumping zebras vex. No, that one sucks. Jived fox nymph grabs quick waltz. Crazy Frederick bought many very exquisite opal jewels. Oh, I love that. Crazy Frederick bought many very exquisite opal jewels. I'm always like, where's the Z?

And then I'm like, it wasn't crazy. Yeah, it wasn't crazy. Show me the X. Where's the B? Yeah. Short or more efficient, Pangrams. OK. Mr. Jock, TV Quiz PhD, bags few links.

Nah. It doesn't flow. Oh, links. Links. Oh. Yeah. It doesn't flow. Sphinx of Black Quartz, Judge My Vow.

Oh, that sounded dirty. I did it, I'll judge your vow anytime. What about this one? Waltz Bad Nymph for Quick Jigs Vex. No. Bad Nymph. Like after five or so, they get a bit desperate. Yeah, they do, they do.

They were aiming for short, here's some more natural, more longer sounding pangrans. Jack quietly moved up front and seized the big prize. Yeah, see, that's great. That's got two Zs in it too, so they really put in the work there. Back in June we delivered- Wait, where's the X in there?

Jack quietly moved up front and seized- Jack's J-A-X. No, J-A-C-K. So they've stuffed up there. No X. I'm not missing it. Back in June we delivered oxygen equipment to the zoo. I that, that's awesome. So that actually is a sentence. And oxygen had the X.

Oxygen had the X. Just keep examining every low bid quoted for zinc etchings. That's one as well. That's odd. That's one. So yeah, a pangram is what it's called when you write a sentence and it contains every letter of the alphabet at least once. Where's the beat? It's a good start. I mean I don't know if we can do this every time. It's 50 seconds.

Nah. I just think every now and then when we're feeling like we need a josh, we might request it. But actually can we have the remix today please? Someone's calling for it just on Fridays. Oh okay, yeah good call. Let it play, let it play, it's only 50 seconds long. It's going to make me sweat it. It's going to be a good ringtone as well. There is a woman who shared online, her name is Leanne if you're interested.

Okay. She hooked up with Wes and... Wes? This is in the UK. Yeah in the UK. Leanne and Wes. UK names. Just want to hit you with some sort of context, paint the picture in your mind. Leanne gets back to Wes's house. Now Wes has a four poster bed. I used to always want one of these. Really? Yeah, big four poster bed.

Yeah, but in like some old Victorian mansion or something. Yeah, like with nine meter high ceilings. Not in this little flat, but it's fine. He's got a four poster bed. She sees it. She's like, four poster bed. Okay, fun. Then she sees something running along the bar of the top bit and it's like... Running like an animal. No, no, no, no. Wrapped around. Oh, okay. And she follows it and it wraps down and it comes down to this little tube by the pillow.

And that's when she figures out this is one of those hands-free sort of water bladders. Like a camelback. Like a camelback. Like a camelback. But he's sort of engineered it to be a hands-free drinking vessel. While in bed. While in bed, like a guinea pig. Is that genius or is that a bit cringe?

Well, she said, she immediately thought it was a bit of an ick, but then when they were making love and he paused to have a little refresher on the water. Like a guinea pig. That's sort of the moment she was like, I'm not so into this. That's a gigantic ick. If somebody did that in the bedroom, no.

I just need a bit of water. Like a little guinea pig. You'd be like, ah, stop, stop, stop, get a cup, get a bottle, get anything but this water bladder. Yeah, do a water bottle like the rest of us. Yeah, now I can't say that I've ever encountered this in someone's bedroom before. Something weird or odd? No, no, no, a water bottle like the rest of us. Yeah, now I can't say that I've ever encountered this in someone's bedroom before. Something weird or odd?

No, no, no, a water bladder from a four poster. I wouldn't imagine so. I've definitely been to some questionable bedrooms. Just two single mattresses on the floor. Yeah, really? One for eating, one for- Pushed together? No, no, no, separate sides of the room. What do they have we got on that thing?

Single ones. Nice. No, but what's on it. Was there a bed base? We've got a sponge, we've got a holden, we've got a... Oh, I couldn't remember that much. That's too much detail for that particular evening. But it was a bit odd. But that's what I want to ask this morning.

What is the weird thing that you found in someone's bedroom? Right, so you went back to theirs or you met someone... You went back to theirs or you met or you've been dating for a bit first time at their house and you go into their bedroom and you're like, huh. Interesting. 85 rats. Porcelain doll of Lady Diana. Yeah.

Interesting. Like we have now in studios. Or a Lego, one of those Lego Millennium Falcons. Yeah. Hanging from the ceiling. Interesting. Interesting. Wow.

What if a buzzkill, I'll say it. They sound hot. Okay, all right, 0800dazadem, I'm sure there's gotta be some great stories. Oh yeah. Because you know, guys do get a bad rap, don't they, for being quite messy. Oh, well we're not being gender specific here. What is the weirdest thing that you have seen in someone else's bedroom? Okay, give us a call 0800dalsadem, text in 9696.

What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone else's bedroom? There was a guy, he had a four post bed and he had strung a sort of what do you call like a camelback sort of water supply to it that he sucked from like a guinea pig during quitus. And I guess you could just be in bed on your phone as well and just you're thirsty so it's right there it could be genius but it's very icky. Samantha the weirdest thing you saw in someone else's bedroom? Well it was a late night. Met someone in the club. Walked all the way back to his student flat.

Couldn't find his key so we had to climb in through a bedroom window and on the floor as climbing through as glamorous as it was was these three whole plates of chicken bones. It was like KFC cemetery. KFC Cemetery! This is on the floor of his bedroom. Yeah which is right by the window so I mean I should have left then right but yeah. You didn't know Samantha, you didn't know. No, no I didn't and the rest of the night was well I remember remember the night with the chicken bones, let's just put it that way.

Yeah, the rest of it pretty forgettable. Thank you Samantha, some messages in. Shout out to the person that said a tiger mink blanket as a duvet. I'm talking a tiger family, not the pattern. Also a howling wolf picture on the wall. My husband now. Wow. See, she saw a do up. Yeah. She saw a chance in for a reno. We all love a reno, coat of paint, she saw a do up. She saw a chance for a reno. We all love a reno. Coat of paint, that's all he needed.

Yep. Somebody has seen my boyfriend's entire marijuana crop in his bedroom, entire length of the wall, heat lamps and everything. See you. Oh wow, okay. Wow. I hope he's paying more for the power. But they're seeing more for the boyfriends.

Do you think they made it official without ever going around? Yeah, maybe. Well, asking what he was into. I saw a big black case in his wardrobe which had no doors on it. I was like, oh my God, what the hell is in there? Saxophone. I was like, what? Two years together now?

Oh, I was thinking rifle. I was thinking shotgun or something. That's what I'm thinking. You're like a sniper. Bazooka or something. A bazooka. He's a saxophonist, guys. Yeah, it's just a saxophone.

Yeah, that's hot. KiwiTex coming in 9696. What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's bedroom? It's a bit bloody grim as well to be fair. What is the weirdest thing you've seen in someone's bedroom? And a jar full of belly button lint is pretty gross with a rogue pub in it as well. Oh, the raw hour you're going to get. You're going gonna get those in there if you're collecting belly button lint. Georgie, you've entered at the right time to join us.

You're from Christchurch, you must have gone into some guy's bedroom and there's a horse in there or something. Yeah, a horse. The whole horse. Actually, yeah, a lamb in the bedroom. There you go, there you go. You gotta get them warm and fed.

Oh, I wasn't wrong. Lamb with some guinea pigs. It was actually Haim. And you married him. Wait, you went round to Haimish... Now husbands... Okay, any... Okay, cool. Yeah, go.

Quite some time ago I was in a Middle Eastern country seeing an English woman. And in the back of her bar fridge I came across two handguns, dozens of rounds of ammunition, a film-filled processing kit and three passports. What? Bond. Janine Bond. Janine Bond. Hello, I'm Janine. Janine Bond. Janine Bond. Yeah. What the hell? I need to know more about this. I know. Like what, how did you, how long were you with them for? Was it just a one night stand with a spy?

I don't know. That's insane. That would be funny. Also wouldn't that be terrible spy etiquette just to leave it out. Just leave it out in the fridge and then be like help yourself to the mini bar? Terrible spy. Two A3 size black and white framed photos of Arnold Schwarzenegger in full muscle mode. Difficult to make love when Arnie was watching.

Also a full marijuana operation in the end room. I called the cops the next day and they told me he was already on their radar. And I busted up their operation. The detective was actually really pissy at me and the guy was too. Also my dad, as it was his hometown, my brother took me straight to the airport that day. I have better times nowadays though. Do you think that the police, because you know how they seize assets of drug and do

you think they seize the army because they were proceeds of crime? Come to me if you want to pay off your debt. Yeah, come to me if you want to pay off your debt. It's not getting any better, is it? It's not getting any better. Helping my, girl, shut your mouth, Carl. Helping my girlfriend babysit,

the kids brought out a box of mum and dad's toys. Oh no. When we went to put them back, there was a spar in the bedroom and the bed was a circle. I'll tell you what, I've never looked at the school office lady in the eye again, but she was hot. Wow. That's giving water bed, eh?

Yeah, yeah. Circle bed. Circle bed. Spar in the bedroom's a no go for me. The humidity, the mould, you'd constantly be damp. Yeah, it'd be horrible. And the circle bed, you gotta go two flat sheets and you gotta pleat around as you're tucking the bottom.

And a nightmare to tuck. A nightmare to tuck. A nightmare to keep quasi-presentable. Oh, it was the 90s for clarification. So the circle beard was slightly more acceptable. Oh, I thought you meant in the spy, do we have any more spy information? No.

Because Shaquille O'Neal had the circle beard, didn't he? I feel like that could be a whole podcast talking to the man that bedded a spy for the night. Yeah, three passports, Janine Bond. Jan. Yeah, three parts, what's Janine Bond? We call it Bond, Janine Bond. He's the Bond girl, but oh boy, he's the Bond boy. Oh my god, get his details, that's still a podcast special. I love this. A mannequin with bondage kit and hand wipes hanging off of it.

Okay, weird. That's fine, we're not weird. What part's weird? The mannequin? Just the mannequin's weird, you can have the kit. I don't know if you need to hang it off the mannequin. I have a life-size cutout of Taylor Swift in my room. Also, almost a six-foot cutout that my dad had to carry around the mall. Yeah, that'd be off-putting.

It's off-putting. I don't like that. Yeah, it's off-putting. A plastic supermarket bag full of his old dreadlocks. Oh! That's about it. That needs to be in a drawer. Yeah, that's magic. Yeah, that should live in a drawer or a crawl space

or just somewhere where it's not gonna be there. Or in the bin. Do you imagine he was white? Do you know what I mean? It's giving white dreads. It's giving white dreads. We saw some white dreads on the viaduct during our people watching, didn't we?

That's right, we did, yeah. Still. Still. Still. Yeah. Living in London, went round to a guy's flat, he slept in the lounge, as you do. Halfway through the night, I saw a huge lizard thing crawling through the lounge and I was so scared.

And then it went up the wall. Apparently it was a flat pet, it was some sort of iguana thing. Okay, yuck. We've heard more from Janine Bond. Fletcher did catch me by surprise. It wasn't very obvious, so I had to pull off the back of the refrigerator to find what I was looking for.

How did you know how to look for it? I don't know. Wait, is she the spy? Wait, we're not spying this is spy. Can we do a voice walker? I want to call this person. Now we're done. Yeah, well I think this has got to be a podcast special. Janine Bond. Sure I was wrong. Janine Bond.

I'm looking at the back of the room. They said no names. They're not going to answer. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. They said no names. I don't want to die. but surely it's been years now. There were three passports. Have you not read anything? I just feel the bed in the fridge is wiggly.

That's really good. What do you read in a wiggly bed? There were two machine guns and a round of ammunition that I saw and I knew I was in trouble. What did you do then? We've disguised his voice to protect him from the name Bond. Thank you for that. What nationality were the passports?

One was Irish, one was Australian, and the other one I couldn't recognise at first glance. Wow. Now you sound like Helen Clark. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need stars back. Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh yeah. Review at Five Stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you

if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review, even where we won't even go.

We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.