ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - December 1st 2025

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, are the orphans really gone? Or is there a mystery to solve... Bridge News Pet Prenup Top 6 - People who can eat soup How many days should you spend with family these holiday SLP - How do you dress for the airport It is finally Christmas tree day Wiggles drama Hayley has been nominated for an award When did you know the relationship was over? New low Pick me girls are back Fact of the day What did you buy without seeing See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZDM Podcast Network This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The Biggest Brands at the lowest prices Welcome to the show Hello It is the 1st of December Uh-oh

Oh oh Spaghetti-Oh That makes me happy Well you want this year to keep going No no I'm excited I'm happy it's the first of December We've got the hiccups That's okay

What a rubbish way to start the week. Pits. It's also three weeks to a wee pop-off. Pop-off for a little break. Oh, I thought you meant pop-off like pop-off. No, no, no, no. Full pop-off. Full pop-off.

Coming up on the show, the top six, Vaughn. Yeah, an executive for Campbell's Soup probably wants to find a new job after being caught saying that soup's just for poor people. Well, he will be because he's been fired. He has been fired. He has been fired. He has been fired for saying soup's just for poor people.

A bit of a week for Campbell's soup The famous can, of course, painted by Andy Warhol I've never personally had a can of Campbell's soup Neither No, it's not that big here, is it? No, it's not... It is here though Yeah, I've definitely seen it

Yeah More corn base, I think, than tomato Definitely seen some Campbell's corn Oh, chowder It's got to be a tomato if it's going to be a soup Well, I've got the top sort of people That can enjoy soup Okay

But aren't poor people Well, they might also be poor, but Yeah. But that's by the buy. That's not their defining feature. Sillard of a poll today, do you dress up when you fly? That was the old thing, oh, my parents used to always say that dress up, you might get an upgrade. Well, you don't.

You don't. You really don't. But, like, it was, it was the glory days of flight. American transport secretaries come out saying, you know, we should be dressing up and we shouldn't be barefoot putting our feet up. So I can sit on a plane for 17 hours, filing and getting drunk? A long haul flight trackies? Oh, my God. best.

You got to. You got to. Everything's got to be soft and floaty. You've got to be comfortable. Yeah. Well, that's a silly little pole. We'll delve into those results soon.

Also on the rise pre-ups for pets. Yes, there are. We'll dive into that, but you want to kick off the show with some really exciting bridge news. Well, yeah, something's going to be fixed and I'm not happy about it.

But the reason you're not happy about it is so selfish. Yes. The Fletchborn and Haley, Big Pod. Well, I was quite upset when I saw story. What's got you upset

this morning? But you know what? There's a glimmer of hope because there's a glimmer of hope it's still going to happen. Why? So repairs

are about to begin on the most hit bridge in New Zealand. So you mean like scraping the top? Yeah like the tin walled viaduct. It's in tinwold Ashburden.

And it is apparently according to Kiwi Rail it is hit on average 13 times a year by people with like tall once a month yeah what a clearance are we talking there?

Two point 3-9 yeah so it's closed at the moment and it's about to be repaired they're going to replace the wood beam with a steel beam but I thought they were going to like

fix it and raise it but they're not so it's still going to get hit 2.39's low that's low the range is 1.8 I stand next to the Ranger and we're about the same height so it's only you know, 40 more

centimeters, 40, 50 more centimetres above that. If you're one of those big giant trucks, you can't go under that, eh? Or like the high aces with a sort of popped top, you know? Yeah, because I always love when you see like, a Trady going into a parking building and they're like, looking. Like, am I hitting that thing?

I've scraped a roof. Yeah, I scraped a rental van's roof. Oh, yeah. One marching nationals. I've had an antenna go, ding ding, ding. Kind of get dragged. Yeah. So, because I, it does bring me joy

to see, you know, those pictures when you see a bus it goes under Renover Bridge. I love it. And it wedges it. I love that. Constellation drove in Auckland, eh, that bus recently went under something that scraped and then hit fire. I mean, obviously I don't want people to die.

I don't want anyone hurt. Just a little fun scrape. But if it's like a bus or a truck getting wedged under a Roeuvre Bridge, I find that so amusing every time. So you call this tin-willed viaduct. I didn't know. They had a viaduct down there. We should do frozen marks.

We could do frozen marks there. It's not that sort of viaduct, Tom. It's a viaduct by its, you know, proper civil engineering term. We should start at 3 p. you know, perfect viaduct time. Yeah. Yeah, get going. Apparently it's about to be,

it's closed at the moment for cars and pedestrians but they're going to repair it before Christmas. So it'll be open soon. So you'll get back to your joy, the joy of scraping roofs. I thought they were going to scrape

some road out underneath. That makes sense, right? That makes sense. Go into a valley. Go back 20 metres that way and 20 meters on the other side of the bridge and just start digging a little deeper. Yeah.

Dig a little deeper, baby. So yeah, I mean, look forward next year. One a month. Let's get those. numbers up, eh? Do we have a camera? Do they have a camera there? Let's get a camera down there. There's that one in Melbourne that trucks are constantly and so proper wedged under that has got a camera on it now. It's good stuff. It's fun. It's all just a fun of life, isn't it? That's a fun of life.

That doesn't fit in there, dude. What have you done now? The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. So, pre-nups. Becoming more, I guess, more widely discussed, more widely accepted. It's not just the mega wealthy that are you know yeah relationship because it's you only have to be with someone for time now not even prenuptials yeah you can do a relationship property agreement no nups wills need it no nups so i forget no nups i always forget it's not always about uh them getting your money it's you taking on half their debt yeah as well it's a bit of everything yeah you can literally almost like a very similar to a will actually you you say what you want in your pre-nup and the rise

of pet nups is going right on up. Oh, okay. So people, you know, they break up and they've got dogs or cats or something. And then that's another thing to fight about during a breakup. Pet nups prevent that. So it's a written agreement about who gets the pet if you split, decided before things go south, basically. But if you met someone, like say I met someone, I've got a cat, then that's mine if we break up, obviously. No, it's not.

It's the same thing. If you met someone, they could turn around and say, like, well, I've been living in this house. I've been feeding Major Muz. I've been looking after him. Well, there's a robot. Technically, there's a robot feeder. And that robot feeder's going to take you for half of what you're worth, including your cat.

Wait, I need a pre-up with my robot. Yeah, with your robot. Yeah, you do. Okay. It's like my robot vacuum cleaner. Oh, you've got a pre-up with that? Oh, no, it left me. And, God, it's cost me a fortune.

Did it, how far did it leave you before it ran? Oh, not too far, because it got outside, but I got too far. away from the base. Yeah, yeah, and then it was like, yeah. It's like, well, I guess I'll come back now. So, um, it says it's becoming increasingly common among couples under 35, you know, who aren't having kids, so the pets are the kids.

Everything, yeah. Just like fur baby. If someone ever says fur baby to my face, I'll say, I've never punched anyone ever in my life. Yeah. But I will punch them. Okay. Me fur baby. He's me for a baby. Becoming very, uh, if without one, apparently judges, so if it got that bad, you were like, I want the dog, I want the dog.

but you went to court over it. Judges rely on things like microchips, vet paperwork and receipts to decide ownership. So who's paid for it more? Oh, okay. So if you're partner, if you get a partner, yeah.

The day pigs fly. That's not very nice to call him that. Yeah, well. Oh, sorry, I didn't know. I mean, it was sort of more. The day pigs fly. I mean, this guy famously flies all around the world and you're calling him a pig.

Wow. It's just a term. It's just a saying. Why you wait until there's a pig that can fly as much as him. Okay, okay. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it like that.

But say you got one and then they were feeding and paying for Major Murray's vet work or something. They're a little bit entitled to it. So what you should include in your pet now, who the pet lives with upon separation. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, people do that all the time. Cut the tether.

Visitation. I'd just rather give them the dog, you know, like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Financial Responsibility, medical emergency decisions, relocation rules. So, like, yes, you can take Major Murray from me, but he can't leave Auckland. You can't take him down to Christchurch.

So I can come around and pat him whenever I want. Yeah, and first write a refusal if one can't keep the pet. So if you're like, well, now I live in a house that doesn't allow pets or something like that. But if you're all in love in your relationship, you're like, let's get a kitten or a puppy. You're not getting a pre-up at that stage. No, I know, but you should.

What, how do you have that? I mean, like, I get having the adult conversation about pre-nups, but a pet, like, that's not a sexy conversation. We've had a little text from a lawyer. Okay. Lawyer here. Okay. And we bow. And we could see.

Oh, do you remember Vaughn and I walk past that lawyer? What was that shop we walked past in Sydney and they sold the wigs that they wear that the barristers wear? Oh, the wool wigs. Yeah. You wouldn't have thought. You would have thought that would have been an online shop by now, eh? Just you're not getting much foot traffic. It was over the road from the, what did they call it,

the Sydney Law District or something, like the local court? Before I read this message from the lawyer who's text in. It'd be like turning up to work and you've not got Andes and you need to nip in somewhere. You turn to work, you think like a wig, you need that emergency wig. Yeah. Can that lawyer just message back and let us know if they've got a wig? Yeah.

And if they hire it or do they keep it? How much are the wig? Do you have your own wig? How much is... A lawyer wig? Because it's sheep... It's Will Lai. I...

Oh my God. You don't have to wear them unless you're in like the super duper high court. Oh, that's what they call it Super duper High Court. Not you're for your driving under the influences.

No, it's not your district's it. A professional legal wig in New Zealand can range from approximately $199 to over $1,600. If I was a lawyer and I was just taking care of some standard courtroom BS, I'd wear one.

I reckon it's really set the time. Oh, and it's a same. extra if you want. Parking fines. Unpaid parking fines. Rock up in the full black cloak and the... Yeah. Okay, well the lawyer's message in.

We'll have a message back about the wig which I'll say it lawyer. We're actually more interested in now than what you've got to say about pet naps. I do tons of relationship property agreements. One time I had the other side fight for the cat. They were fighting for the cat. And then two months later decided she wanted to live overseas and put the cat in the pound. What? That's spiteful bullshit.

So she was just so spiteful. She didn't want her part. Even then when she left, she didn't give the partner that. That's unbelievable. Now, you're gendering this. I borrow the wig from my boss. Shockingly expensive, they say. Yeah, yeah.

So you and your boss are sharing a wig? Oh, I actually like that. I'm not happy about that as your partner. As your partner and how about you and your boss sharing a wig? Yeah, yeah, that actually makes you feel quite uncomfortable. The Fletchbourne and Haley Big Pod. From the Fletchbourne and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Well, an executive from Campbell's Soup has been fired.

after his comments were leaked. They were recorded without his knowledge. Yeah, so it wasn't a public statement, which means it really came from the heart. You know what I mean? It's authentic, saying that soup, the company's food, is for poor people. And did he say something that's ultra-processed and he said something about 3D printed meat or something?

Yeah, yeah. He was really ripping it apart. Yeah, and they've come out and said, oh. One of the things he said, We have For poor people Who buys our shit I don't buy Campbell's products

Barely anymore Bioengineered meat I don't want to eat a piece of chicken That came from a 3D printer And then racist stuff Racist stuff Yeah Spring a little bit of racism

Effing racial slur Don't know a effing thing They couldn't think for them Eff it's it is It's bad It's not good to love And he's been, he's been sacked. Rightfully so.

Rightfully so. What a prick. He's probably a be all right though, you know, money-wise. If you're, that Campbell's has been around for years. Andy Warhol, darling. They're very famous. Well, I love the top six people that can also enjoy soup. Okay.

Other than poor people. Other than poor people. But I love a soup. Well, they might also be poor. Mm-hmm. None of our business. No. I like those packet soups.

They're nice. They're booze. They've gone up in price. The goo soups. The goo soups. The goo soups sacks. The goo soups sacks. Yeah.

Goog sacks. Yeah, they're nice. I love him. Do you have a crusty bread in there? Top sacks, people that can enjoy soup. Number six on the list, people with no teeth. That's right. They love a soup.

It's a food for them, isn't it? It's just a liquid. Yeah. Soft, if there are bits in it, they're soft. Chewing not required. Fane of a barley and a soup. Yeah, I will. You will.

Yeah. Well, I welcome the grains. It's got big sort of like pack it out the soup energy. Not a chickpe. I hate a chickpe in a soup. Yeah. That's turned it more into a stew. Yeah.

When you've got a chick pee in there. Well, some of those goop sacks pot-s soups, they have the chickpeas in them. Oh, I'm not for that. I think you know why, because it fills them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Same deal. Yeah.

We know what you're doing there. Number five on the list of the top six people that can also enjoy soup. People that don't own forks. Okay, yeah, right. Good. Man, have you tried to fork a soup, eh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ridiculous.

So you don't own a fork. You're not going to be able to stab foods. This is perfect because this is liquid. Perfect. top six sort of people that can enjoy soup number four on the list of people who are cold yeah a hot soup will really warm you up you do crave it eh yeah get straight in there

as you say but a crusty bread with far too much butter oh my god it's actually I'm having bread for dinner yeah yeah you can go through a whole tiger life with soup piece of cake and you're like but I had soup so it's a light meal the vegetables yeah the bread got dissolved by the soup it's still soup Number three on the list of the top six

sort of people that can also enjoy soup people who like to use very thick straws Yeah Very thick straws I've never thought about sucking up a soup Like a garden hose Okay Drink your soup up through that

You'd even get your chickpeas up a garden hose Yeah you would Chickpeas up the garden hose Was actually a rock croissant in my bandro Number two on the list Of the top six sort of people that can enjoy soup Are people who have a thermos Yeah

I've got a Stanley thermos Do you? Yeah, thank you. I just recently tried to use my thermos. The weekend I went up to the trains. Oh, nice. I packed a thermos. Of course you did.

Have a hot drink on the train. That's got a few grandpa. The thing, the seal's gone. Oh, but it wasn't official thermos. Because, you know, thermos is the brand. You always buy the knockoff cheap shit and then you wonder why a drink bottle. I think I've got given it. Oh, right, okay.

I got given this thermos. Of course you did. So you've got a free promotional thermus. Well, you're welcome to throw my Stanley Thermus. So use a stainless. It's green yet, it's past. Get one for Christmas. That's a great dad gift.

It's a great. A good thermose. Yeah. And then in summer you can use it for like, icy pims. I put wine in mine. Wan. It keeps my wine cool.

Well, it keeps the curle cool and the warm. Yes. And number one in the list of the top six sort of people that can enjoy soup. Fletch. Yeah, I love soup. I've already seen this in the honor. Sack of soup, man. He's a sack of soup.

You get in some chicken, some proats in there. Yeah. It's broken meat. Yeah, chicken's goodness soup. Are you doing this? Krusty nub of sourdough? Yeah, it could do. To me, the minute it's got beef in it, it's not a soup anymore.

Then it's just due. Chicken going to go in the soup. That's a soup. Oh, yeah. And that's beef in that. I bet I wouldn't go a beef. Wouldn't you? I'd always go to chicken.

Chicken fur. Well, you can. Well, you're all entitled to have our own fur. Yeah. Why don't you fit off? You can fit off. He's going to beef. You can have chicken.

Then we'll be have to know who's who's. It's great. It's a very thin fur off. Yeah, we can, everyone can fit off. This is scary. We should own one of those soup trucks and call it for, oh. That would be appropriate, a three white people making fun of a language. Yeah, like, for God's sake.

What, a third of the restaurants in the country? Yeah, with their names? Sure. That is today's top six. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZDM's Flashworn and Haley. It is 24 days till Christmas, basically three weeks away in a little bit. and Christmas for many people

means time with family and for many people that is a little stressful and I think even if you get along with your family having lots of family around can be stressful people bring up kids and stuff oh yeah they're loud aren't they I'm a child free family

my parents have two kids and we are adults you're from a child free family you are the child of the family that's what I mean though we've got no children and then me and my brother don't have kids and that's us Yeah, so it's a very adult Christmas I've really got to bring the girls around to Haley's house and get them in this will

You know, I've got two children I've got two children who I'd love Your kids are scared of Haley's house Because of all the dead animals Dead animals and then they'll let us sit on the couch Yeah I mean looking at you two I just think maybe take one each

What no And then into the will I mean whoever ends up in Fletcher's will It's going to be significantly better off Than whoever ends up on the past end of this year I don't want to be anywhere We're near your two wills. Yeah, no thanks, no thanks.

Mine's less of a will and more of a wot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my family Christmas this year is just me, mum, dad, my brother and his fiancée, Nina. We're just cash. We're not doing gifts. We're not doing... You don't have taken a...

No dates for Christmas? No dates for Christmas. A little hookup at Christmas. I... I don't know. I don't know. I'm not. Could you do a Christmas Tinder?

Oh my God. I'll go on Tinder on Christmas and have a look around. And just changing your profile. Who's hungry? Mom's cooking. Change all your profile pictures to your mom's amazing Christmas spring. Yeah.

Be like, hit us up. Get a big hungry boy. Everyone knows you don't have sex on Christmas. I reckon you've done a fat yoy and you'll invite someone for Christmas. No, I won't. Because love's not dead. Love is, love is a fish that's been pulled out of water and it's flopping around on the deck and it is gasping for you. Well, I say this as the book sticks out of your bag behind you.

Excuse me, that's a private book I am reading. It's a private book. As I want to do. That's a Bible. If you wonder what that book is, it's a Bible. It's a type of Bible. Yeah. Anyway, shut your mouth.

It's a book about relationships. It is indeed. Ethical and non-ethical. Anyway, so, screw you both. You betrayed me. Family time over Christmas makes people stressful. Why? Old roles and old patterns equal instant stress.

So we're clicking back into childhood dynamics. Mum tells you up for doing something. and, you know, you're in your 30s or your 40s. Also, boys get together and so fighting and the hierarchy of the brotherhood comes back. My brother doesn't come home for Christmas and I reckon that's the key to it. That's the key to the good balance.

Stay away. Too many people, not enough autonomy. Why does your brother not come back? Is it because it's expensive? No, it's got a personality disorder, I think. It doesn't care. No, his wife's family's really into Christmas and he's just like, it's just easier.

Right, I don't know. No complaints. Old conflicts and political differences, tension, pressure to enjoy it all adds guilt. That was the first time I hosted Christmas and I was like, everyone's going to be having fun, except for me. Some signs you've hit your

limit on the day, irritable, snappy or suddenly moody. Replaying conversations in your head being like, I can't believe my brother just said that. Did he actually just said it in the kitchen? Are you kidding? Jaw, tight, stomach upset, headaches. What to do? Take some guilt-free breaks. Walk, car.

I've got some errands. I've got to go for a run. I don't run. Just put your head That's a very good point. Yeah, getting out of the house. Skip some activities. You don't need to be at everything. If you're part of a family that's like doing a lot, you might be like, hey, I'm actually going to use this to have a schnoos.

Recharge alone, rest TV journal, call a friend, set some boundaries. I need a breather. And remembering that actually quality time is better than endless time. So you have to take things into consideration if you're coming over. Say my brother's coming over. He's doing a week. Yep.

A week. He's doing that thing. This is my brother did last year. I love him dearly. arrives on Christmas Day So now we've got to drive over that Someone's going to drive over the hill and get him Oh, are you going to do this?

Oh, you're in feathers? No, no, no, last year. Oh, I was going to say. I think your parents have sold that house. Where you go? You just loiter outside. And then this year he's arriving Christmas Eve, which is fine.

I'll get him. What time? I don't know, it'll be ghastly. He's on a budget. And then he's staying for my New Year's party. Invited himself. You know, I like to curate my groups. But that's, but that's

fine, he'll fit in nicely. Okay. And then flying out on New Year's Day. No, New Year's Day doesn't count. It doesn't happen. That's getting an Uber. For you, that's... It's a Super Sabbath, isn't it, New Year's Day?

I'm not doing anything on New Year's Day. You literally can't, you can't function on New Year's day. I would have just gone to bed by the time he's getting up to go to his flight. Yeah. Anyway, it's about taking the time that you need and taking the little breaks rather than going three days, five days. If someone says two weeks, though? Two weeks. Too long.

No, too long. The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshfallen and Haley Today's silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly silly, silly that a silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Today's silly little pole Do you dress up for the airport? Do you dress up for airplane travel? Remember is how we surprised you out with Bali And you was wearing like quite slim jeans Oh no, I'll travel in jean, I'm quite comfortable in jeans I'm not, no, no no

I'm quite, I won't buy a pair of jeans if they're not comfortable Or if they're uncomfortable, I'll just wear them and wear them Until they just shape my booty Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice But no, that was, now that's a problem Leaving a country that's one climate To go to another country that's a very different climate Oh yeah, swamp crotch

You've got to have a change of clothes. Your shorts ready and get changed on the plane. I'm casual all the way. Casual, casual, casual. Casual, comfortable. Got to be comfortable. You might have seen this in the news the other week. U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy wanted Americans to button up and look sharp when they fly ahead of the, this was the head of Thanksgiving. Just because he said standards of lax.

Who cares? I know. Who are you dressing up for? Exactly. Unless you're going to, like, if you're flying into the Middle East, you know, don't wear your tiny little gym booty shorts or, you know, be respectful of where you land. But other than that, who cares? He said, manners don't stop at the gate.

Are you dressing with respect? Oh, piss off. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport. Oh, no, it doesn't bother me. I mean, maybe work on, I don't know, getting more air traffic controllers or everything else that's wrong with your country. Those Republican people that are homophobic and transphobic always get caught sleeping with, you know, bought boys or transfigure. You know, it's trying to put, this guy loves a slouch.

Sounds like he loves a track pan. It's just a shame to admit it. It's right, babes. If you want to be comfortable in 2025, you'd be comfortable. What was that Instagram page we always used to follow in love? But I feel like it's... Passenger shaming? Yeah.

It's dropped. They got too much, like, hatred of sharing people who... Right. Well, they'd always, like, put people, post people with their feet up on the wall or someone drying their undies on the air bend. It's a great page. Well, we asked if you dress up for the airport, dress up for travel. Comfy clothes.

I don't care how I look. 88% Yeah 12% I make an effort And try to dress up So we're all about comfort Do we were at the airport

A few months ago And you saw that lady And you were like I'd love to be her one day When I'm old Yeah Yeah And she was classy

She was class You know She had draping And jewellery And she'd put on a face And there I was Absolute sack of shite And you do

You look at them And you think That is a lovely classy Way to travel Yeah She's in business And if she's not She should be

She should be She should be She was for the upgrade, but she didn't get it. She didn't get it. That doesn't work anymore. Carlina said, she had some responses from people on Instagram. Carlina said, because getting dressed up ain't it

if you aren't getting an upgrade, so comfy is the way. The green lolly would want me to be comfortable, said guy. And he raises a wonderful point. Yeah. The green lolly would. It would. Elisia said, domestic flights are dressed nice. Internationals all about comfort. Yeah. Maybe traveling

for biz. Some business travel. Could be a bit of biz trough. Even if you do get an upgrade, like we've been able to fly for business for work and I've had upgrades like I don't care I'm wearing trait pants I don't give a shit it's almost better when everyone else is walking past and I was a slob up here I'm like yeah I don't belong here Ainsley said I feel like I'm more likely to score an upgrade if I look respectable It doesn't doesn't work now you're not you're not getting one Chloe no posh frock for me elastic pants to hold the bloat and sustain the post-flight farts

Yeah yeah yeah something to trap them in yeah ayesha I'm gonna be if I'm gonna be stuck in cattle cars on a plane I don't need my clothing to add to the discomfort it's comfortable I don't know how people go long hauling jeans. Neither. Like, no way. My parents do do a little bit of class

on a flight, but my mum will often change on the plane into something a looser slack. Right, a looser slack. Alicia said, it's gangway, not runway. And if I'm meeting my soulmate on a plane or at an airport, they're getting the real me. Oh, yeah, true, though. Oh, my God, because I sat next to two hotties on one of my flights

this weekend. We never got a photo. I couldn't. I couldn't. You could literally say, I believe you may be one of the most beautiful humans I've ever seen. Is it right if I show my friends? Wait, are you talking brown skin light eyes? And then I will say, so I'm in aisle. Brown skin light eyes is next to me in mid.

And on the writer wasn't mad either. The book was writing itself. Right. You know what I mean. Oh, no, I need to pee. Yeah. Cheapest. But he wouldn't have looked at me because I looked like a slob.

Yeah. I should have dressed up. a real you, like Leisha said. Yeah, he's his soul, mate. There's a beautiful hybrid of dressing, comfy, and putting an effort, no slobs in the lounge, darling. Darling, well, Megan, you're wrong, because I'll go in the lounge and I'm a complete slob.

I'm slob in the lounge. You were on the red carpet last week at a Hollywood premierist actor event, and you were in your Birkenstocks disintegrating. Yeah, dog. Literally, his perks are literally disintegrating. Remembering was like, how bad are they? Because they've got a cobbler.

And they fixed it, and they saw them at the weekend and were like, Oh, dude, no, they're toast, man. Those are toast. How do you dress in the airport was our silly little poll today? We asked you, and 88% of you said it's comfy all the way, baby. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Born and Haley. First of December today.

I know. Alf on the shelf day. Alph on the shelves will be arriving. Alves will be arriving at houses all around the country to keep an eye on the children and report back to Santa. How do they get there? Because the train system's not ready yet. Magic. The elves.

Magic, sometimes it's through a little door. Oh. That's up to each individual elf, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And happy Alf on the shelf day to those who celebrate. Yes. This will be my third year. Oh, no, it's only one payday as well until Christmas.

Stop it. We had a payday on Friday. We had a payday on Friday and it's gone? Do you know what I mean? Like it's, puff, it's gone? Well, you can't call him that. Not in 2020. Yeah, no, you can't call them.

You can't call them. But he is that. Have you seen a tree? You see any of your dresses? All those little leggings? Yeah, he's... So, the first of December in my house for the third year, I think,

it was a third or fourth year, third year, I think, it marks the day I'll put up my Christmas tree. So you're always hard December 1? Hard December 1. November feels too early. I'm not that hardcore. Okay.

But if you miss the first and then it's sort of the week goes on and then it's like, why put it up because you don't have it up for long enough? And it's like quite a difficult task. Yeah. I've made a couple of decisions. Okay.

Remember last year, by mistake, I got white lights. Bright white lights. Oh, like cold? Cold white lights? But isn't that? I just got some new Christmas lights yesterday and I was like these ones. People were like, no! No, you stuffed up.

Not the icicle ones. You get the warm ones. You've got to get warm. It makes it feel so lovely and warm. No, I like white because it reminds you of ice and snow. Of ice and snow. I know, but the light that it lets off is so cool and blue and cold. That to me would be a great silhouette of.

pole, like warm or white. Or multi-color. Oh, yeah, or multi. Oh, yeah, the rainbow. We'll do that for Christmas. We'll put that up. That's a great idea. Cold, icicle, white, warm white, or multi-coloured. Because it also depends on your room as well, and the theme of your tree.

Yes, so last year it went in my lounge where the TV is, and that's kind of an icy blue-colored room. So I was like, I'm okay with it. It's moving now, because I've got curtains and also parents, so the chair, like I've got to have a chair there.

Congratulations on both of those recent purchases, both Curtis and parents. She was a little orphan. Yeah, I was a little. Don't you even. Oh, Mr. Fletcher. Don't know. Oh, how are we ghosts, Mr. Fletcher?

And we are the ghosts of office. And the bodies would never found, Mr. Fletcher. They're dead. The orphans died. There was no certificate issue. We're here to haunt you each bloody Christmas now, Miss. flat child we eat lots of food in heaven brother oh our bellies are never wanting in heaven oh god anyway so i'm moving it uh to the front of my house now and what i'm going to do is because i don't really have corners in my house you know what i mean like there's no well you do like

it's a skinny house it's a very skinny house so there's not really a lot of room for it what i'm going to do is i'm going to plonk it in the middle and i'm going to sort of orient the room around it I'm sorry. It can't go in the middle of a room. Yeah, it's going to go in the middle of the room. The Christmas tree here at work isn't the most weird. It's like they sort of put it down to have a rest and then just didn't move it again.

You walk around a corner and it's just there. You're like, no, what is it doing here? Do you think that's bad if I did that? Because my house doesn't have a good corner. Why don't you put it in front of the fireplace? Because you're not using the fireplace. That's what I mean. Yeah, I was going to put it near the fireplace,

but it'll sort of just be in front of it. Yeah, that's odd. It's odd. That's why I thought if I It's a bit queer. How awfully queer. If I do put it just in the middle It feels a bit more intentional.

Yeah, okay. Oh my God, people are shocked That the orphans may not be dead. The ghosts of the... I'm looking up. If I look on deaths... Yeah, you actually Google Deaths NZ.

They definitely died. Brother, sister, orphans. They definitely... Actually, don't Google that. It might be a grim result. Yeah, they don't... They died. I saw the coroners

report. Did you see the coronas were born? There is no death certificate I knew it. Have they been out wondering? Have we got a Christory on our hands? How very peculiar, what a cristery! And we're going to have new characters where we play the detectives. Oh, for her! Stop it, why?

We've got ourselves quite a proposal of here. No, that's not the character. I think you're going to keep workshopping now. I'm not there. He's too posh. He's too posh. He wouldn't be a detective. No, he's too posh. You wouldn't be a detective. He sounds like a baron. a baron who's so rich He's

I think they're more Looking for the orphans She Why are you going Knives out Why that British orphan Why that British orphans Why is a New York

Chicago When I was a young boy See Now I'm actually The Christmas orphans are dead The Z&M Podcast Network Play ZDN's Flethoun and Haley

Well The Wiggles Have been pulled into some controversy And we would have never thought they are the most wholesome people we've ever met now live. We're just a lovely group of people. It's this song that's got them

in trouble. Yeah, so it was a video to this song with Kelly Holiday. Now, bang right! Bangoray! The Wiggles have been accused of endorsing drug use and tarnishing their brand after two members of their beloved children's

group were featured in a TikTok dancing with musician Kelly Holiday to this song that you're hearing now about Ecstasy Now the controversial video was removed on Friday afternoon following questions

from the media in Australia The iconic Wiggles say that it was done without their permission Which wiggles were in it? We've got an Anthony Anthony, blue wiggle, original blue wiggle Oh and is that the tree? Yeah, it's a tree. The dancing tree It is the tree. Was it the answer true or the question

true? Yeah, so the video It was making all the mum's hot. they've released a statement yeah they have they have yeah so the video starts with Kelly Holiday gyrating and only a towel around his waist oh jirating

before showing him dancing with the pair in the official's wiggles costumes yeah so it was AI though right it's a tree of wisdom tree of wisdom that's what it was I was just googling what the tree

from the wiggles was called because at the recent aria awards the Australian Recording Institute Awards they The Wiggles took to the stage with Kelly Holiday for their dancing song and the tree of wisdom,

whatever is name of truth. Yeah, well, it's got this song that has big tree of wisdom energy. Yeah, yeah, totally. Gets out there and absolutely thumps it. This is a banger. I hope we start playing this. Also, did you see Blue Wiggle having a photo with the lead singer of Amel and the Sniffers?

Which is like a punk, hard punk band and she's like ripping the fingers and he's like, hey! Yeah. And he was like, guys. I think is this Australian musician's celebrating. writing other Australian musicians. They're just legends on legends.

You don't play use an AI news story that I got sent. Yes. Well, did you want me to cover the Wiggles statement? No, I think you should shut up. They don't condone the use of drugs in any form. The content was being shared

and was not created or approved by us. And we've asked for it to be removed. Okay. Well, this is from Channel Nain news. It makes it look like Channel 9, but it's Nying, like German. Jeff, hey, mate, wake up, Jeff. Breaking news tonight. Following the recent controversy

surrounding Kelly Holiday's ecstasy, the Wiggles find themselves in hot pinger's yet again. Hot pingers have executed a mid-morning raid on the group's tour of us. Oh, there's a... Cooked potato tour to a grinding potato.

Oh my God, that is... ...seen as absolute carnage, seizing MDMA, cocaine, LSD, 5,000 disposable vapes and 10... 5,000! It's actually really. Because Henry the octopus has got a vape in each of his eight arms and he's vaping.

And the dinosaur's got coke-growing notes. Industrial nitrous canisters or somehow stuffed inside Dorothy the dinosaur's party tale. He got in search of Captain Feather Sword revealed a smash of counterfeit Plage. Police allege the pirate is known in the underworld as The Mad Router. Meanwhile, Jeff was found unresponsive. Jeff, hey mate, wake up. Jess, wake up for a new low for a tour already plagued by reports of on-stage brawls,

projectile vomiting, and alleged physical altercations with the front row. What you say, Chad? Which are the eight tentacles to you on? Jeff. Oh, that's so good. Oh, my God, that's so funny. And that's just AI generated. Even the voiceover sounds like the...

Sounds like the woman that does the 9 News. Oh, my God. Look up, Jim. That is brilliant. See, guys, guys, maybe AI is. great. Yeah, it's great until they do this about Fletch Vaughan and Haley were found with drugs through there.

Oh, my God. Party tale. The party tale. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. Good year to be Haley Sproul, actually. Career-wise. I was going to say, not personally, but career-wise. Career-wise, I've had a bloody cracker.

Actually, seven days tour just wrapped. I've only really got one more thing to do. No, two more, three more things to do. do. And then then I'm done for Christmas. Right. But it's been a very busy year and all topped off with a little nomination for the New Zealand Comedy Guild Awards for Best Female Comedian, alongside a great list of friends.

Many friends of the shine. Friends. Yep. Yeah, well now we hate each other. This is what, this is how it works is they pit us against each other and the women fight. And to win the award for Best Female Comedian that you've got to get a white t-shirt on and get in a bath of jello and fight to the to the death. Now is that when we cast our vote? And then at the end you go, who won that battle?

They win that, and then they'll name it. Sounds very 2000s pub promo. I don't think that would fly these days. No, no, it's literally just votes from guild members. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Guild members? Yeah?

Like the munchkins and Wizard of Oz? No, like the comedians of New Zealand. We were the reasons. The comedian guild. Comedy and gold. Funny lady, fond of the community and guild. So the thing that caught your eye, Fletch, in particular, is that it's the best female comedian. Yes.

But most some awards for the New Zealand comedy guilds, or the guildies as they call them, have a sponsor. Yep. So the full title of the award that I've been nominated for is the Guy Montgomery Best Female Comedian Award for 2025. I saw him post this yesterday on his socials. So good. But he worked out, it cost $250 to sponsor an award. And he's like, I will sponsor the Female Comedy Award as a male comedian. I love that so much.

It's so funny. I mean, this is what happens when you have comedians, right? They always have a funny way. Because it is. It was $250 to nominate an award. I'm sure David Krause has done one before. Right. You know, and you just chuck forward the money just to have a laugh to have your name on it.

Because even on the, like, the little Instagram posts, Guy Montgomery's bigger than the words best female comedian. Yeah. And when I saw this, I sure. that he was had won an award for Best Female Comedy. Yeah, I didn't, I was so confused until I read it. Guy wrote

Friend of the show Guy Mom. He wrote as an incredible, as a quote, incredible ally to women and comedy and then there's an asterisk and the asterisk says quote attributed to Guy Montgomery by Guy Montgomery when I saw the opportunity to sponsor an award

at this year's guildies for $250, I knew it was time to put my money where my mouth is. Congratulations to all the fantastic nominees and I believe I speak for the entire industry when I say we can't wait to find out who will take home the Guy Montgomery Award for Best Female Comedian

Well and so it's not a people voting No it's guilds It's okay right Internal Peer reviewed Kind of yeah your Yeah Whereas the award I lost at the New Zealand

Screen Awards that was You know you had to campaign Vote for me Vote for me once Yeah people saying vote for me For something Yeah and that was won by the incredible Scotty Morrison

I love it I know you're happy to lose to him Yeah very much happy to lose to her. And so who are you up against for the female comedian award? Well, there's a bunch of us because women are funny now, apparently. Angela Dravid, Yohanna Cozgrove, Ocean Denham, Mel Bracewell, Abby Howes,

Renee Church, Lisa McLeodd-Widing, Hayley Spraguelly, Haley, St, Smith. Jeez, funny. That's too many people. That's all the women. That's all of the women. There's quite a lot. Half it. There's quite a lot. No, no, because I think if I'd have it got halved, I'd be off. Do you know what I mean? If we halved it, I wouldn't

make the cut. Says who? Malbracewell has not lived more than half of her year in New Zealand, off the list. Well, you're going to read to Mel. Well, she lives in Australia now. She turned her back on the spine country. She's going to come over to a show.

Exactly. Here and there's nothing personal. Off the list. Now, I like Mel. There's nothing personal than that. We're having a culling session. Okay, we're culling. We're culling.

All right. Well, good luck. Thank you. In the Guy Montgomery best female comedian space. And huge thanks to Guy. Yes. for this incredible display of allyship for women.

So I want to know from our listeners right now when was the moment that you knew that your relationship was doomed? It wasn't going to stand the test of time. Now this is on the back of an article where 18 brides shared the moment sometimes on the wedding day that they knew that their marriage wasn't going to survive.

Some of these stories are crazy. We know personally know people who after it ended I knew on the day we got married it wasn't meant to I know and I was just like

what? But I get the pressure of the day you just go I just can't bail on it now like I've just got to go through with it You know before as well you don't just change

on the day of your wedding Some examples I cried walking down the aisle I kept trying to tell myself it was happy tears I now understand that was dread Oh my God

I knew when I was I'm zipping up my wedding dress and I didn't have that feeling of, you know, I'm so excited This is the happiest day of my life Some some real like gut instinct moments I knew the marriage was doomed When the groom's speech didn't mention me at all

Wow Yep He told me I looked cute Oh wow Rather than beautiful Yeah Groom forgot his only job Which was to bring the champagne to the venue

Went surfing instead, got too drunk and then I had to drive him home. Oh, yeah, that's on you, actually. Groom disappeared during dinner, went dancing on a table alone during their wedding dance. Groom left his own wedding to go clubbing with his mates. Wow, we're already doing some texts. I love this.

I love this. Groom showed up to the wedding after a two-day bender where I hadn't heard from him. And it doesn't need to be a marriage, just in your own relationship when you knew it was... Just that, like, penny drop moment. moment you go, this isn't my forever person. Maybe it's just him on Tinder

next to you in bed and you're just like... So, I'll read one. Please do. I knew after being with my then-husband for 28 years, it was doomed when I saw him on his laptop that he left open on dating websites, chatting to other women, started going to work meetings suddenly on Saturday mornings, work meetings. But then the same person message is also on our

wedding day, he went off with his mates to have a smoke and left me to walk into the reception on my own. Oh my God, no, you meant to make an intro. Sounds like you were in that relationship 27 years too long. Long than they married for 28. Oh, he married for 28. Okay, yeah.

Foof. Well, these are the kind of stories we want this morning. Oh, 800 dials at Emis a number. Give us a call. You can text through 9-696. What was the moment that you knew that your relationship was doomed? A lot of people sharing online, brides in particular, and sometimes it was on the day.

Oh, what a waste of money. I know, I would just eat and drink everything and be like, if I'm paying for it. You know, I'm going to try to at least. And then how long do you wait? until you're wedding to call it because you've got to give it at least for six months. I do a six.

Six months or a year? I do a six months and they'd quietly break up and then about a year later I'd start trickling out that information. Yeah. Some of the messages in when you knew it was over when you knew it was doomed when I was pregnant with our first child

and he couldn't tolerate the morning sickness. Sorry? Yikes. And the attention wasn't 100% focused on him. I knew it was over. Yep. That's why you get a puppy before you have kids, right? Yeah, to see how.

The jealousy works, yeah. My husband said in his wedding speech that I was making a great first wife. Obviously, he was joking. He's an ex-husband now, so I guess he was right and funny. When he said, why get married, it's only going to end a divorce anyway? I mean, statistically, is he wrong? When I would go into the lounge and lingerie and he wouldn't look up from the PlayStation. Oh.

Yeah. Can I say if it's a single player game He can probably pause But if it's like a live thing I mean the top five Moan in the top five You always pause for a news or lingerie That is the role

I knew it was doomed when I was told I couldn't have a certain bridesmaid Made to sign a pre-up the same day And all my family were telling me on the lead-up That I shouldn't be going through with it Split up after a year Well good that he sawed Made you sign that pre-in up

Yeah Everybody gets to keep what they came in with talking about other woman in his sleep whose names weren't my names Oh He was sleep talking Sorry? Yeah

Oh he was saying other ladies' names Yeah Okay I knew when we were in an argument I was pregnant And I went on his phone And he was messaging a girl for funky picks In exchange

In exchange for BK What? What are you getting a BK chicken with cheese? I'm getting BK chicken with cheese Send us a picture of you in some funky positions and I'll get your Big A chicken with cheese. Medium. Oh my God, that's so sad.

That is crazy. I get sent nudes for free. Okay, keep your text coming in, 9-6-9-6. You'd be getting some BK out of their nudes. Yeah, oh man, I'm going to stay. Hustling. We want to know right now, how did you know the relationship was doomed? Destined to Faya?

Was there a moment? An action, maybe? Or just a gut feeling? Which it often is. A lot of people in this article that sort of spark. this idea said it was a gut feeling that it should have listened to long before. Yeah. I went to a wedding with my boyfriend of five years.

I struggled to, I have photos taken with him because he was being such an a-hole the entire trip. Went to break up with him when we got home. COVID lockdown. Oh, no. COVID-locked. God, I'm hoping for a spare room. 257 if you've got, if you worked it out. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, maybe it made you stronger. Speaking of a spare room, and the Tosser locked himself in the spare room during lockdown to find himself. How long does that take? How was he, we already found a little Prisony. Why was he making his confined space more? Was he like, because everybody was a bit worried

there was a lot of unknown. Was he like kind of hiding himself from you because he thought you were contagious? Maybe. I don't know where in my bedroom I'd look for myself. Yeah. Warrobe. For you in the lounge, it's a television. Yeah, I'll find myself watching

The Sopranos again or something like that. I knew it was over when I found certain videos that he had recorded of himself doing something to himself that he was sending to other men. Oh, okay. And is this someone in a heterosexual relationship? It doesn't stipulate. Well, that would be even juicier if that was true.

That's not a surprise to the gays, though. I knew on our wedding day my gut was telling me I wasn't happy and I was making a huge mistake. Yeah, wow. But what do you do? You know before then, you know. Yeah, surely in the leader. You know.

All the groom's family had all flown over from Australia was all too much. The groom wouldn't look me in the eye during his speech and got drunk on the wedding night basically combed on top of me, and I had to try to take my dress off myself. We separated one year in. Yeah, so they gave it a year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I organised the entire wedding, had a fight at the rehearsal, had a real sinking feeling, walking down the aisle, but the real awakening was a few years later walking into the night, him pissing on the bedroom floor. You've done that, Vaughn? You've got to get that out of the way before the wedding. Yeah.

It's always to do that in front of friends. Is it? Yeah, yeah, besties, you know. Well, Vaughn was blaming a sleeping pill in Jetland. Jet lag, sleeping bill and a couple of gym beams. That's why I'll never go back to that ibis in Wellington. I've stated that ibis. Yeah, Bourne's probably pissed in the room.

It's an eyepist to me. I knew it was over when he cheated on me, got the girl pregnant, and the baby was due on my birthday. Oh, that hurts. I knew it was over when he accused me of having Tinder on my phone, and I was like, I don't. It was the New Zealand blood donor app. It's very similar.

It's the same shape. Because that's a drop of blood and it looks like a flame. Oh my God. amazing. They should do something about that. Yes, it is. It's the same shape. Should we have a little look? On what? Blood Apple, Tinder. I always forget what blood type I am. Just going to check on that one in case I needed

a donation today. Do you have the blood? No. Oh no, because you riddled with tattoos and mad cow, aren't you? Yep. I'm A plus. The best blood. Is that the one that can be used for everyone? No, it's the best blood though, like get a better one. No, that's not the best. A plus, best mark you can get an exam. No, the best

blood is the blood that can be used by everybody. That's op. I'm O'Neg, I think. Right. They don't want your blood. They don't want your blood after this year. Oh, come on. Come on now.

Come on now. I've had a real year of it. Those in glass houses. Oh yeah, this is stone's muscle. What's that sound? That's glass. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley.

Right now, is this a new low? I want to paint you an image. And it may, some of you may find this. confronting because it is of me, um, pants round ankles, on toilet, asleep. Do you guys have a, um, toilet naked? It's weird. Yes, I feel so vulnerable. Same.

If it's a big, if it's a big number two is I'll take a shirt off sometimes just to, just to. Yeah, that's right. Just in summer because it's too hot. Let's get this business going. It's because I'm a nude sleeper. So sometimes I'll be on the toilet. I'll be like, I'm completely naked on the toilet. Yeah, I don't like it's weird because you're just like.

The boobies. Sort of, no, no, no. I prefer a shirted shite. Okay. A shirted shite. No, so I've been quite busy and I performed on Saturday night in Hamilton for the last of the seven days live tour. Thank you to everyone who came and said hello and everything. Beautiful.

So after that, and yesterday morning I had to fly quickly to Queensland for the day. So I was like, after the seven days show in Hamilton, I'll drive home. Yes. And you're filming that TV show that I'm not allowed to tell anyone about, but I've told, like, 10 friends. She's told so many people. I know. People aren't allowed to know.

You know, you start telling you. And everyone I tell is really excited about this show. I know, the return. I know. It's been years. Yeah. I know. It's not, have you been paying attention?

Sorry, Vaughn. If that got you excited, then I was like, the return, it's been years. No, no, no. It's, Haley Sparrow is Nazi hunting. She's hunting the very few Nazis that remain from the Third Reich in World War II. And you found, I don't want to want to. I don't want to spoil the episode. She found some Nazis.

You found a bunker, I believe. I find a bunker. Was it Peter Thiel's bunker? It was. Okay. No, no more spoilers. Also, by the way, the latest South Park season is so brilliant. Oh.

Does it come up to Peter Thiel's in the year? Who's a sometimes South Island Wanaka, Queenstown resident? Yeah, something. Yeah, around there. Yeah. Well, stay tuned for that bunker reveal. Fantastic. Anyway, so needless to say, I've been touring quite a lot and I was really, really tired.

So driving home from Hamilton, it was 11 p.m when I left Hamilton after the show and I went slow you know lots of drive safes lots of brakes but when I got back I was so tired but there was a thought plaguing my mind and that thought was my God my period is so late alarmingly late

you know like uh oh oh no like oh no like it's a Christmas miracle like could it be a Christmas miracle from Jesus himself, you know? And so even though I was so tired and I had to come home,

it was like, you know, nearly 1am and I had to pack my bag for this shoot in Queenstown the next morning. I was so tired. I was like, do you know what? I do have a little, from Shospawn Chemist Warehouse, I will say,

triple pack of pre-go tests. Okay. And I just thought, you know what? It's going to keep me away. Like almond gold's at my 10. You can mind them single, but I'll triple pack. I'm the same with an almond gold at motor 10.

I often buy them in unison One arm in gold per pregnancy test Yeah, that's nice Why does you make a nice memory? Why don't you speak to the show sponsor About getting some kind of bulk discount? Oh Yeah, I could do it this time of my life

Oh, I thought I was going to defend her there and say there's no need But she's just basically said she does need. Yeah. Why not? Why not? I'm not shaming you at all. Do you want? No, there's no shame, it's my body.

So it's like 1 a.m. Or 1.30 a.m. And I think I need to get, I've got to get up at 5 for this flight to Queenstown. I was like, I need to get some sleep, and I'm distracted by the thought that, my God, the period's so late. So I was like, I'll just do a quick little test, make sure. And so I sit down, but what I realize is I've already peed. And so there's no urine in me.

Okay. And so I was like, I'll just sit here and I'll wait and I'll relax and all I need is a little bit. Okay, yeah. Cut to, I reckon it was like 20 minutes later and I wake up. And I was like, what a sight. If my parents, who now live with me, had to walk into the bathroom, unlocked, they would have seen me slumped over, asleep on the toilet, with a pregnancy test in my hand, unurinated upon.

Yeah. Just sort of, what a sad image. I was like, this is a bit of a new life. How were you, like, leaning against the shower door or that shower? No, I hadn't, like, fully, somehow, I think my incredible abdominal strength Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kept me slightly up because I hadn't, like, fallen off below or gone back. Thanks, Les Mills.

And thanks to Les Mills. Thanks to Les Mills for the abdominal core strength there. 30 minute core class, which I did maybe a couple of years ago. But it's still helping. Yeah, I know. Anyways, I just woke up and they still had no pee in me, so I had to, you know, popped off to Queenstown.

Right. Is this sort of a reveal of sorts? At lunchtime, we stopped off for a little lunch and my friend was like, well, should we have a beer with lunch? I said, better not. Don't worry, I did one last night. I'm not. I think it's just late

because my body's like Go to sleep! Yeah, you just described four hours of sleep on Friday night that you're already tired that you'd wrung yourself out last week. Listen.

You know, one of our favorite podcast, Diary, the CEO, had a sleep expert on. I know. And I tell you what, it's such an incredible episode. It's like must watch Sleep 101. Yeah, I will listen to it

when I don't feel so bad. Yeah, it's Christmas. God, it's Christmas. Because I find these, not sleeping well and I listen to these things about how I need more sleep, I get anxious and the anxiety keeps me awake longer. Cyclico, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I feel

like these you've got to get better sleep things are only making my sleep worse. Everyone just back off and give me some breathing room. Yeah, let me breathe. So there's no little surprise ZM baby. Okay, great. I know. Okay. Play ZDM's Flesh, one and Haley. Pick me, a pick me girl,

I wonder if there was like a clear definition. A pick me girl, that was a term that's popped up in the last couple of years, which is basically like a girl that's so like desperate for attention kind of throws other women under the bus disdains other women and adopts certain attitudes or behaviours to gain male attention and approval. That's your

kind of general. Behavioural examples of picma girl might claim to be uninterested in makeup or fashion. Mock other women for having those interests or to loudly champion stereotypical male hobbies to get the male's attention. Yeah like oh my god that's so my god I love that you guys are going to mecca I'm just going into EB games

because you know the new game's out. I'm going to meet it with the boys and just so pick me and like just sort of like it's a performance it's like it's it's the female equivalent of the performative male you know the performative thing that we were talking about like reading your little smart books in public and all that

so anyway it came up online and everyone was like I don't want to be a pick me girl how embarrassing pick me girls we're doing a U-turn can I don't pick me girl pick me all the time why would you pick anyone else so

do you know who's not angry at them now Sabrina Carpenter is the cause for this. Because they call her her lyrics Pick Me Poetry. Okay. In the way that she is kind of in a way doing a lot for the male gays. Yes. And claiming it. Not being like sort of sad and desperate about it.

Like really claiming it. And now people are going like, why wouldn't you want to be a Pick Me Girl? So Pick Me Girl is a new feminism? This is really, am I giving you a migraine? I'm just, I am pushing. I'm just, I can't keep up. So, women were against pick me girls, but now women are four pick me girls. Yeah.

Are you telling me women are somewhat indecisive? And change their mind about things. Hey, I did just tell you that I think my period's arriving today, so be careful. I'm just throwing around. This is why I'm holding my pressure plates. Your brows. I'm just staying out of it over here. Yeah, you remain remarkably quite over the ear, little pick me girl.

It is like, yeah, you're a picnic girl. This is like, it's like any term, I think, that's been used again. against a certain group. Can then be... Like an S-L word, the S-L word, or even bitch, you know? And now they're going like, oh, you're using that against me and then we reclaim it as more of an empowering thing. Using someone like Sabrina Carpenter, who is?

Like, look at me and I own my sexuality. And now pick me girls, we want to be them. It's hard to keep out with these terms, isn't it? Yeah, that is. Go back to the farm after this. But if we're in a line up... Shut the curtains and turn on them to... Go back to the farm.

I want no one to put them to put them. Pick me. I don't want to pick anyone. I just want to go to the farm. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Let me alone. Yeah. The opposite should be called Pick Me Nots. Pick Me or Pick Me Not. Like love me love me not. You know when you're picking petals off a flower. Why do I have to explain this? Clearly it's a bit dumb.

I think Pick Me Not. Yeah, it's a bit stupid. Well, you watch it take off on the internet. I don't think. What do you think you're about to be a viral sensation? I don't think you are. Hashtag Pick Me Not. Play. That ends. Flesh forone and Haley. Well, somebody said, how dare you play Band-Aid, do they know it's Christmas? When out there we still have the unsolved mystery of the orphans, the Christmas orphans.

Because, you know, the body, there was never body saying. They died, and we never saw a death certificate. There was no death certificate. There's no trace of them. And now we're being haunted by the ghosts of the Christmas orphans. Mr. Fletcher! Tell them the truth. Speaking of feeding the world, we're still hungry for Christia.

Oh, me. Mr. Fletcher. Mr Fletcher, take us to New Plumming. All right, it's time for... Feed us up on Bev's pair of Mr Fletcher. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Ah, do-da-da-da-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-do do-do do-do. It's Vandalism week.

Oh, Vandals. Because I thaw some vandalism. On the side of the new... what's going to be the biggest came-out in New Zealand. It's Westgate, West Auckland. Which one is the... I can't figure out, because I thought it was that, but now it's Early Settlers.

It's Early Settlers in an Asian buffet. Upstairs is a huge Asian buffet in Early Settler? No, above Early Settler. I dare I say the Early Settler furniture may have a smell. So a Chinese Five Spice. Yes. You may be able to smell. Delicious, but...

Anyway, that's one part. That's my might have 10. I'd love my dining table to smell like lemon chicken. Just forever? Forever. But what if you weren't having them in chicken? It's fine. I have Sweden Sound pork.

Okay. Those are my two. I don't really... I don't do a beef. Orange chicken. Nah, I don't really Chinese beef a lot. We need an orange chicken more in New Zealand. Yeah, we do need to orange chicken enough.

You're quite right. Yeah. It's not wrong. Not there. Back towards the shops. Back towards the shops. It's got the big concrete walls up. It's over the road from like Rebel Sport

and we are stationary in that. It's going to be big as it. It's going to be the biggest came out of New Zealand wear at a toll. Did you say just a side note, but it's still adjacent, when I was driving south to Hamilton the other day, they've already got signs up for the IKEA, you know, alternative routes, take public transport, like brace yourself. Auckland Transport and the L-A-P-P-D-D-C queue. They released the thing saying, why is the Los Angeles Police Department?

They're so worried. They're taking it such a problem for traffic. They're taking it that seriously. They have said, just avoid state highway one, take this one. Literally like, don't go net, abvert, overt, abvert. Do you're going to be funny because no one will be there? Because everyone's like, well, I'm not, I'm going to, I'll wait until it can't stay out. That's madness.

I'll be waiting it out. And then it's like, take public transport. Consider taking public transport. Yeah, sure, I'll grab that flat pack table and chuck it on a bus show. Yeah. Crazy suggestion. Anyway, I saw some vandalism, it was a big fat graffiti. Now, I don't know how this man.

man or woman, whoever they are, graffeted this size. I think they must have had a special apparatus where they could put it up on a big stick. Oh, you, because sometimes it looks like they've used a spray paint or like a super soaker. Yeah. To do it.

Yeah. So it was massive. And I was like, man, that's been vandalism. They should be able to shoot them on site. That would stop it. I think shoot them with a paintball gun on site and say, how do you like it? Yeah.

Now I'm vandalizing you. You've been vandalized. Yeah. I love that idea. So I said, man, that's van vandalism. And then I was like, why is it called vandalism? Because they're vandals. Why is a vandal called a vandal?

Because they're vandalisming. You wouldn't know, you've just put yourself into it. Because it's a scandal. It's crazy, you don't know this. The first scandalous piece of artwork was done on the side of a van. And then some clever person was like, that will call them a vandal. Incorrect. The word comes from the vandals, a Germanic tribe unfairly blamed for destroying Rome.

Oh, okay. We're right back. The word vandal. is a 1,500-year-old PR smear campaign against the Germanic tribe, The Vandals, who apparently were involved in the sacking of Rome. Yes, they were there in 455, which is what they called the year. Like, we called this one.

455. 2025. Yeah. 455. But they didn't wreck it that badly. It suited their campaign against the people of the area for the Romans to say it was the vandals that did it. But apparently,

not apparently they were there and they took some stuff but they weren't the big the big major problem in the people that vandalized even though now vandalism is named after that um east wow okay east germanic tribe of the of back in the day so what are you going to do for each fact of the day this week because you've just are you going to have a bansy day banksy pops up yep yeah that's good because that's sort of fun vandalism are banksy fact on friday but it's not what you'll think it is okay are you going to talk about the time the only one time that I vandalised something and I didn't have a tag name, so I wrote Haley Sproul.

No, but I like it. Ballsy, eh? Ballsy move. We can talk about that tomorrow. When we talk about the most vandalised things in history. Oh, yes, you see, that's good. That's good. I'm excited for that. So today's fact of the day

is we get the word vandal from a Germanic tribe that was blamed for destroying Rome. Fact of the day, day, day. Day, day, day. The Z&M's podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Haley. A new story about a couple that snapped up, just like that, an $11 million dollar Queensland home.

They live overseas. I mean, this is something rich people do. If you've got 11 million just to spend on the house. And you haven't seen it. I mean, obviously they've seen pictures and they've probably had a video walk through. Yeah, but... But you haven't been in there, right?

And they've just bought it. That's insane. $11 million. How big is this thing? It's huge. It's by a lake. And yeah, they bought it from overseas. Far out.

But you said it's in Queensland. It's by a lake. I think everything in Queensland is sort of by a lake. Yeah, but this has its late. Look at that. It's on the lake. It's on the lake. it's got its own lake it's got its own lake i'd say so they've put it in a lake um lake

i reckon we need some beavers down there two reasons two reasons cute second reason wildling pines the beavers will eat all the wildling pines don't worry about it you know he's not wrong solved it and i can't send them go full possum okay yeah oh actually they won't stop it well now we've lost i know it's not and i know it's not i know it's not we're not going to get stories of people buying 11 million dollar homes well i put her on 11 million dollar homes i You haven't asked me for my story. No, you haven't. Your hot take on it.

You can't even afford new Birkenstocks. I don't think that's happening. Your shoes are literally melting off your feet. Yeah, I know, but it's because they bought that house without seeing it. I paid a million dollars for it. Can we get a photo of Vaughan's burkenstocks online just so the nation can see what he wore to the red carpet last week? Yeah, and I think we should say, like, time for a new PEA or no. My friends did this.

They had done the London thing, and they'd been over there, and then it was time to move home. and so they bought a house in Hwanganui, site unseen. They just went online, they were like, we've got to get something, and then they bought there. What? That's crazy. And then they got there, and it was a renovation and a half. Yeah, and also, like, you've got to walk around the street

and get a vibe, right? Like, what are the neighbours like? Totally. What are the other houses around like? Yeah, some people just don't care that much. But also, like, you buy things sight unseen all the time secondhand. Like, shop? I mean, I guess we're a lot more used to it,

but it's shopping. Like, if I buy something for 20 bucks. and it's the wrong size or it's not what it looked like online. You're just like, ah, it's 20 bucks. Someone bought an $850,000 house site unseen. Who said? Did they message in? This is insane. Yeah.

Well, these are the stories we want. I know producer, when you got a flat unseen. You signed up? Yeah, when I first moved to Auckland, I just, like, needed something fast, and there was an apartment on Queen Street, and I had a little FaceTime call with the flatmate. Yep. But, like, barely saw or anything.

did not show how small it was, but, you know. Was it one of those Auckland apartments where you couldn't fit a queen-sized bed? I've had one of those turned up with a double bed and it didn't fit in, and I was like, well, now what? And I ended up not moving in, even though it was moving day. I lost all the deposit and all that kind of thing, the agents fees and stuff. Well, this is what we want to know this morning. 0-800-Darles at Emerson number, 9-6-9-6 to text in.

Someone just called me out for actually buying him in the German side, insane. But my soul had seen him. Who saw him? He saw her a picture. But we didn't know. know how actually amazing it was. I mean, yeah, we didn't go wrong there, did we? I mean, you get the video virtual tours and obviously the photos and stuff, but like...

No, I know, but you need to be able to see where the mould's coming in and where the cracks are. I don't think $11 million homes have mold. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. No, they don't. If you don't open your windows, you can easily moldy. Mold doesn't know money. That seems like a great saying.

Thank you. Well, it might not be $11 million, but Anonymous joins us. You bought a house site unseen. Um, yeah. How much was the house? Uh, 1.1 million. Okay. Okay.

Okay, so what made you do this? Well, we walked into the first open home and kind of stood in the foyer, looked around a little bit and went, ah, there's no way we can afford this. And we left. Yep. And then we just decided to chuck in a cheeky offer and they accepted it. Oh, my God. Oh, so you saw the front door.

So we don't really know anything. like we've got a floor plan but we don't remember a lot of the house and we've not moved in yet. Oh shit so you still haven't seen it. Wait so you're moving into a house soon and you're settlement? Yeah just before Christmas

like the 23rd. Wow, this is literally just before Christmas. Right. But the photos look nice. Did they match the foyer? Yep, the foyer looks like the photos. Sorry, anonymous. Can you send us to a real estate listing?

I'm not looking through a real estate listing. My house looks really nice and it's real estate listing as well that thing was falling apart. Yeah, they always get the hose out and wet the deck, don't they? And they wide lens, yeah? Man, they wide lens you. They love a, they love a fish eye.

The bedroom, you're like, no. Well, Anonymous, good luck with the move in. Thank you. Side-unscy, we're probably putting your mind at ease there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go to Shelly. Shelly, what did you buy sight unseen? Hey, guys, I bought my wedding dress.

No. Oh, that's crazy. You've got to fit that thing. Yeah, why? I know. Well, it was quite an expensive dress And then I just found one on a online website That sells second-hand dresses

And it was like less than half the price I love that you did that Because like the amount of money people spend is insane Is that still white? Is that the website? Yeah, that's a good one. Resale huge ordeal trying to get it from Ireland to the UK back here

but anyway I got it at the end and it fit perfectly it was... Oh my gosh! So lucky. Because a lot of people have their dress, they'll buy the dress whoever got it from the shop, she would have had it altered to her body. Lengthwise and everything and it was perfect on you. Do you reckon there's a woman out there that is divorce that has your exact body, Shelley? She's not divorced, she's so happily married.

Oh wait, I thought everyone kept her. Because no one wants to buy a cursed dress If the marriage is ended She's like, oh yeah, still happily married Still happily married. Still happily married over here in Ireland. Don't come and check it, don't come in check. Believe me, I'm Irish. Shelly, thank you.

Keep your text coming in, 9-6-96. We're all trying on Vaughn's glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I try? Oh, you look good, Georgia. Guys, I can actually read the text with these. Do you know that's good? That's not good.

Just being far away. Oh, I didn't look. They're far away is, I think, more than, like, your arm's length. I've got perfect Vige, and so there's a not it for me. It was a good, not very shape. Well, we want to know now what you've purchased, sight unseen. Have you ever done this, Georgia? When you bought your house, you would have gone through it?

Yeah, we did. That was Haley's drink, yeah, we did. That was. They sounded kind of like a fart, but fart adjacent, shall we say. Or it sounds like someone's ripping a bong in studio. Now, that is also not honest. And water's out. But you would have seen your wedding dress before you had to wear it.

Yeah, so my wedding dress. I've seen all the, but I'm a bit, like, special with that stuff. I'll be very careful. Especially if it's worth a lot of money. Like, you're buying, I texting and buying houses, unseen. No. Is that COVID times, though? Because I feel like people did that.

So it was, yes. Yeah, yeah. When people wanted to get out of the cities, someone said they bought a $950,000 lifestyle block in Tohunga, and they just sent their mother-in-law around to check out, and all she said was, it's old, and we said, it'll do. Oh, no, that sounds like a... siphon of money

Yeah Someone's Quite a few people Messaging Bought cars Sight unseen You know like old cars Oh yeah

Yeah I guess if you're willing To roll the dice on it Horses A few people have purchased Horses Sight unseen But once you've seen one horse You've seen them all

Exactly Big Teeth I don't want to be horses But they do to me all the same Same Yeah they just Part from those Long noses

Big ones with the long hair What are they? Clidesdale's Or the house about But then you know you're getting a choice I said, miniatia ponies. The only horse I'd ever consider purchasing

would be a miniatzia. I'd buy a miniatzia. Especially funny because I'm tall. I just bought a Mercedes-Benz convertible side unseen. I'm based on one thing cars in Auckland. She'll be right, famous last words, question mark. No, you've got to try the doubt.

Especially with your pen. You have a European? And I'm imagining Mercedes convertible might be old. Remember when I wanted to buy that 1971 one? Yeah. Boy, I'm sure glad we could just kick that stone

down the road until your hyperfixation turned to something else. Yeah. Somebody bought a $40,000, no, a $34,000 boat without seeing the boat. Like, saw a picture of the boat. Yeah. Well, it's wild a on Facebook marketplace or like trade me with it.

Like, I'm selling this caravan and it's just like a photo. I know. Show me inside. Show me the end of the wheels. Show me the bits. Or sometimes real estate listings or listings are flats to the house. It's like two pictures. It's like, do you want me to buy this or not?

And what are you hiding? The rest is Mingin. Yeah. The rest ain't good. My dad bought a $15 million house during lockdown. only viewing through a WhatsApp video call in Stanmore Bay, Fongapro. Mean that you've got a $15 million daddy.

Me, that your dad's so rich. Oh my God. Can we be on the world? I love my dad and I wouldn't choose any other dad but I'd be meaner if he had way more money. If you like today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends,

just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate him review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.