ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - December 2nd 2025

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod,  Man orders a crazy pizza for his pregnant wife Women pretend to be men on LinkedIn Voice notes do's and don'ts ATM's Horny 2025 Wrapped Top 6 - Signs your plane is full of Salmon What crazy thing did you try in the name of health? SLP - Do you have an advent calendar Oxford word of the year Fletch needs glasses Who are you beefing with at the moment? Fact of the day  Hayley's Christmas tree is up Doctors have heaps of annual leave See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network This is... Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Good morning, happy Tuesday. Fletch Fawn and Haley coming up. That simply can't be right.

It's Tuesday. Nah. It feels like a Thursday or Friday. It is a crawl to the finish line. I was having a drink last night and I was like a well-earned end of the week drink. Same. On a Thursday.

Yeah, and I was like... I've been good all week and I have a glass. That's exactly what it felt like. I went to the gym yesterday and I was like, oh, it was very quiet and I was like, understandable, Friday. My whole brain's been geared. Are you fried? Yes. Literally Monday yesterday.

I know. I know. Bless. Okay, well, look, hang in there, just get through to Christmas. That's all we're going to do. For something magic's going to happen at the end of the year and next year's just sort of yourself out. It's just going to be even better. Yeah.

I'm going to carpe the whole year, not even just the DM. All of them. it. Yep. Coming up on the show, we're going to talk about the do's and don'ts of the voice note.

Oh, yes. You're upset, I'm getting emotional on a note. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The do's and don't of voice notes, which we're all huge fans of. I'm a massive fan

of a voice note. And I was on tour with the Seven Days Live crew, and they can't believe how much a voice note. They're like, just pick up the phone. I was like, calm down, Gramps. Yeah.

But there is some medicate behind it. Yes, we'll go through that. Also, the top six on the way. Yeah. salmon exports are up for New Zealand. Plainloads of salmon leaving. Plainloads. I don't realize we had so much to give away.

That's the headline. Plain loads of salmon. Because isn't the rules have changed around, what are they called aquafaring? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, there were some rules changes. I think it was like aquifarber, the juice of the chickpecan. That's what it's called.

What's called aquaferber? Yeah, and then you whip it like equites and use it in cocktails. You can make it in cocktails. Yuck. No, it doesn't taste anything. Well, that's even worse. Yeah, it's like vegan egg whites. Yuck.

So, salmon leaving the country, their plane, I would have thought a boat, you know, given. You could probably just tow them. Or if you... Well, you just put... The pied piper of salmon. Come on. Follow me in the boat.

Well, the top six signs, your plane's full of salmon. It's coming up. Right, great. Next on the show. There is a pizza order that has gone viral. A man placed a pizza order, and there were notes. The ZM Podcast Network

Play ZM's FlashWorn and Haley. Someone just messaged in, what's up, mingers? Sorry? I'm sorry? Excuse me? At least two of us aren't mingers. Yeah, exactly. You decide which too.

I'm a minger today, I'll say it. I put a hat on. My hair's greasy. I've got a pimple on the inside of my nose that is so bad. Look, it's affected the shape of my nostril. Do you know, it is? It's flea.

It's spelled it. So unbelievable. I rolled on it in my sleep and it was so painful. It, like, woke me out. Oh, no. Have you been plucking your nose hairs? Because it could be ingrowing. No, I haven't been plucking.

I've been, um, up there with the, like, the weed eater. Oh, okay. No, actually, it's still a weed dealer. Yeah, we're putting a weed wacker in there. Yeah, it's a miniature. It's a cable really stiff. Yeah, I'm in desperate need of some person.

I'm a bit of a minger. Yeah, no, we'll take it, actually. Good morning. Yeah, good morning. Good morning. I'm going to reply, good morning fellow minger, or good morning? Oh, they're obviously at least an eight. Oh, really?

Someone that hot just with that much kind of, you know, sad to you. Solid eight out of ten. Yeah. Okay. Have a great day. I feel humbled and rightfully so. It's to be negged at the start of the show. I was going to say, I don't need to be negged anymore, but if anybody else needs a compliment, you're there.

I'm on the text machine now. Oh, okay, lovely. Lovely. I'll take one. Vaughan's probably at that level where we could probably make him cry with like two more insult. Yeah, I don't reckon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Breaking point, you know.

Yeah, and then three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you giving out compliments? I'll take one. I know I was going to compliment in your hat, but I wondered if it was going to be your, if you would be like, well, that's a compliment for the hat and not me. You look good at the hat.

Casual in a hat. You do look good in a hat. Yeah. Not everybody looks good in a casual hat with a pony out of the back. Okay. You look good. And that blue and white shirt. Where's it from?

Because, Kmart. No, this one's a better one. I've got a slightly different one from Kmart. They literally look the same. I thought it was your Kmart one. The girls will know they look very different. Anyway, okay, there is a pizza order that's going viral. And I'm just going to tell you what it is.

Okay. Okay. This was made yesterday. One large hand-tossed pizza, 1799. That's right. Okay. Hand-tossed wood-fried can't be bit. Yeah, oh my God.

The dough how it, like, bubble. Yeah. Perfect. One large hand-tossed pizza, 1799. Yep. Extras. Triple pepperoni. Yum.

Extra cheese. Banana peppers. light jalapinos. These are all extras, by the way. Half chicken, half mushrooms, half caramelized onions, half olives, light sauce. Those are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine modifications to this pizza. Was that going on top? What was the hand-toss pizza originally? Was it, did it have a base of something? Like, was it already a pepperoni?

It was already a pepperoni. A pepperoni pizza. Pepporoni cheese, but tomato sauce. Okay, that's enough. So now we've gone. Triple pepperoni, extra cheese, banana peppers, light halipelaghs, half a super chicken, half a super mushrooms, half caramelised onions, half olives and a light sauce. It's too much.

Nine modifications. Too much. Customer request. This is where you put your notes. Bro, it says. Bro, yes, I know this looks insane. And you're probably like, who is this dude? I'm the dude who is a very pregnant wife.

I'm done questioning what she wants. I'm scared of her. And honestly, you should be too. I promise this is the order. Thank you in Godspeed. Wow. She had hard pregnancy cravings. Oh, that's so funny.

I want this and specifically this. Yep. And God help you if you screw it up. Yeah. And at least she told him what she wanted exactly what she wanted. Do you know what I mean? That's good. Rather than I don't know, just fix this problem.

I love seeing stuff like this like guys out at 1am in New York City buying a jar of very specific pickles. and a slice of smoked salmon and some green bananas and some dishwashing powder yeah like don't some paper towels to chew on or something like that

just like don't question it and the internet's gone crazy for this because so many women have chondon be like I get it I see it I get it it makes complete sense and good on you for executing this as well better than some pregnancy cravings with a dip in a finger in the laundry liquid and stuff

yeah I love this comment I know he's your husband but marry him again The Fletchborn and Haley Big Pod If you're on LinkedIn you'll realize it's basically a

sort of a circle jerk of weird business lingo Yeah I don't get it I mean of course they don't I'm not corporate No and I've never had a LinkedIn But you've always dipped a toe For the humorous side of it

Yeah I've just dipped a toe Back into LinkedIn again Are you looking to leave us? No I'm not looking to leave at all Fantastic. We literally can do anything else. I think you can realize that you're screwed, you have to say.

Very limited on skills. Very limited. But there was a experiment that's technically called the bro coding experiment. Bro code. So it's hoes before bros. Except. No, bros before hose. Well, it is bros before hose, but you should never call anybody a ho on LinkedIn.

Right. Maybe a bro is okay, but still it's a little informal for the spot. But basically it said that. that if you change your LinkedIn gender to mail, you're going to get more visibility, more traffic. Oh, that sucks. That sucks. Went and said, if you do that and team it up

with using like aggressive corporates break drive, transform, accelerate, goal-orientated, da-da-da-da. Do you think people are still buying that stuff? It works. Because I, I mean, the gender thing, yeah, we can dive into that. But like the wording stuff, the moment I hear that, I'm like, that stinks.

Like you're just using corporate jargon. It's not authentic. And it also wreaks of, like, chat GPT or something. Yeah, that's exactly. That's exactly. So there was two women, Simone Bonnet, changed her pronouns to he, him, and her name to Simon E. So Simone, but with a gap between the end and the E. So there are 1,600% rise in profile views and 13,300% more impressions.

What? It is hard, though, hiring women, because you never know when they might sneeze a baby out, or you know what I mean, or you have to deal with erratic behaviour and just, like, less intelligence. Megan Cornish, a communication strategist, switched her gender to mail and had ChatGPT, rewrite her profile using an old post using agentic language, like strategic and leader. Her reach spiked 450% in a week, and her posts about the experiment went crazy. That is insane. So what are you? She hated the persona that White ChatGPT created for it under her instructions, and described it as a white male swaggering around.

I was going to say, and it would also, like, if you change your name. to sound more white and man would also probably which is sad Oh it's so problematic So what happens when though I'm on LinkedIn And I'm getting all the leads

I've still got to turn up The lady Or am I doing a whole like Like a you know Like Amanda Byn's thing And putting a wig on and Oh she's the man She's the man the interview

Yeah there's going to be a point Where you have to have an interview Shakespeare in love. Yeah. Who? Who, bro? Was it Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah, yeah.

Remember, and she dressed up as a page boy to play the female roles of Shakespeare because the girls couldn't. That's right. Because then they're going to see Matatas. The game will be up. And then have I lost my advantage that I had from pretending to be a man on LinkedIn?

Well, you're already there. Now you've got to wow on with your stuff. It does sound like a hilarious roncom or TV movie. It does actually Yeah, good little premise for a film Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley Voice Notes We love sending a voice note

And actually with certain groups And I include you two in this When I get a bang And I look and it's a five-minuteer I'm like, here we go Here we go! I know we've got a bit of juicy We've got a bit of goss I love it. It's just like

It's a free-flowing communication But at your leisure And I know some people get a little bit flustered And so they don't like voice notes because they get a bit lost and I mean we speak every day for work Yeah yeah yeah we speak We speak every day together on here

And then we go home and what we do is we speak all day Throughout the day and then we come back in the morning And we still have more to catch up on Yeah it's like we're friends It's like it's a genuine friendship So here's some sort of do's and don't Some etiquette shall we say about voice notes This is out of America where 62% of Americans say

They've sent one 30% of them are using it regularly So it's on the rise instead of texts and calls It's just, it's the best of both worlds. Yes. Okay, why people love them, a sense of intimacy and human connection that text just cannot match. All the intonations and all the little, little bits. Great for busy people who can't sit on a long call

like mums or packed schedules and it's like all the benefit of a call but on your time. Talk freely without worrying about polish and having to structure sentences. So some rules for the senders. Record in the moment. so don't kind of get ahead of it like record respond in the moment so that

it's authentic bite size updates throughout the day for easily into people's busy routines makes sharing stories feel more immediate and personal and many people say voice notes to listen to on their drive time so just kind of remember that as you're sending it don't be boring yeah I mean they've got to have

I think they've got to have a point right but you don't want just constant voice notes of nothing yeah creativity personality elevate voice notes but edit yourself Genzi particularly loves a voice note but prefer shorter ones two to three minutes and often, and my best friend will do this, it'll be like, hey, I just recorded you a five-minute voice note

but it was so waffly, so I'm just starting again. And then she's self-edited, having said the long version of it. And then she's like, okay, here's actually the points that you needed. And Gen Z love that when people are aware of being like, that was so waffly. Self-awareness. Self-awareness, you can do a self-edit, and if you're hitting that five-minute mark

and you realize it's not full of juice. Yep. We're going to do a little self-edit. Receiver rules, don't fear the long voice note. Well, you can plus 1.5 or speed it up to 2. I can talk. Two's quick. You've got to have a slow-talking buddy if it goes down to that.

Yeah. I'll do a 1.5. I'll just pause it when I've had enough. Or sometimes, this is bad. Sometimes if I have the gist already of what you're going to say, and I'm so sure that I know the ending, I'll tap out. You'll just start replying?

Yeah, start replying. One thing that people recommend is taking notes. Because I've got a friend that sends real long updates. Yep. And then I'll be like, hey, thanks for the voice note. And I can't remember what they've said. I know, yeah, and you've got to reply to like two or three things they said. And you're just like, oh, go back.

And WhatsApp, do you ever click the transcribe button? Always. I love it. It's not great key accent. It's not perfect. No, our accent is terrible. It is, um. But yes, replying as you listen, I'll do that.

Like, I'll just do a text reply. And like, pause it and then reply and then like carry on. It's so good. But yeah, take notes. Typing out some quick points while listening makes it easy to reply. Prevents having to re-listen to long messages because that's always a bit arduous. It's perfect for people.

Long-distance friendships, like My Bestie lives in Wellington. Some people hate them because they say they're time-consuming to listen to compared to a quick text and they think it's just adding like noise into their day but I love it and if you don't like it if you don't like them

a piece of advice that a podcast it did just tell you friends not into them well I was thinking maybe I could give an example of a voice note and play one of yours

shush no The ZN's Podcast Network Play ZM's Flesh Foran and Haley Who's horny Oh I'm horny We should have got that lined up

No terrible song Are you kidding me? Terrible song. It's a great song. Terrible song. Yeah, yeah, ha, honey, and home, honing, and hum, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, town, town,

yeah, yeah, it is. Oh, God, that makes me feel like The Long Weekend Group 2. Yes. I'm horning, horning, horny, horned. RAP to the Long Weekend Group 2. Where did it go? Oh, talk to Apple.

They put a noise gate on our phones. Now, the Adult Toy Mega Store, which is a giant online adult fun toy website. Yes. Every year they do a rap, and every year we like to share it. I love this. I love this so much. Looks at sales across the country of Alteoroa, looks at who's buying what, who's buying the most,

and thus naming places the horniest place. Now, last year, I forgot this, last year's horniest town of New Zealand was Foxton. Now, was this per capita sales, or do they say how they work it out? Or is it just... Because a place like Auckland would buy more than Foxton. Yeah. It's per capita.

Okay, good, right. So get this. Get this. Prebleton is this year's horniest town. Okay. Prebleton. Prebleton.

Prebleton. Richard Prebleton. And Antonia Preble. Ex-Prelton from Outrageous Fortune. MP and Outrageous Fortune actress. Yeah. Yes. Prebleton

One in five Prebleton residents bought a toy from adult toy megastore this year That is not Someone in Prebleau is buying like A thousand Because one of one Stats wise They haven't actually worked at

Yeah Right Wait a minute So their population was In 2018 Pop stats 4 and a half thousand Okay

So one in five Yeah 800 Get on them You know what I mean Prebleton I mean They would have to be one or two people

buying a lot A whopping amount rounding out the top three towns. We've got Prebletern at Fungaparawa and Paihia. So Pahua Peninsula, you're talking like Hibiscus Coast? Yeah. Did you say Fongaparao? Yeah.

How kind of... Well, if you had to sit in that traffic getting off that peninsula, they probably would play with yourself as well. Wait, it's a bottleneck, dude. They're building the new highway. Until then... They're building the new highway, and you watch, when that gets in, people are getting off that peninsula cooker,

they won't need to be playing with themselves. in traffic. Shout out to, I guarantee at least one person right now stuck in that traffic, playing with themselves, listen to our station. Good morning. I was just about to call you out for taking my sexy break and making it boring about traffic. Well, we're back. Yeah, people someone will be having a little over the jeans. A little fiddle. Now, top three

regions, Auckland and third, Wellington and second, Canterbury and first in terms of like bigger regions. Tasman, not horny enough. Really? Really? Get in and Tazement. Like, they're very natural They pretty make your own. They probably weave it out of hemp rope.

Yeah. Probably, yeah. Flosset. I don't know. Yeah. The West Coast, they're calling living up to the name of the Wild West Coast. They're buying the most

backyard stuff. Okay, right. Yeah. Gizzy is leading in the electrics. Okay, yeah. Really? As you fly over it.

In general, they've noticed a rise in, maybe more out of the box. stuff. Okay. And I don't mean literally out of the box. If it arrives out of the box, don't use it. No, no. You've been out of the box, I'm not your traditional. Kink. The world of kink. Oh, okay. And that's Gisbon as well, is it? Who did you say was... Nationwide,

there's a rise. There's a rise. Well done. I'm just trying to think of what I can say. It really does think around this list. Okay. How fascinating because it's so, it's so taboo, isn't it? Did you say Nelson's using the penis pumps? Marlborough Nelson?

Yep, they're using the peony pumps. The biggest buyers of penis and largest. Flashlights, because of course it gets dark down there. Yes. No, no, they're not for... Re-read the word flash. It's very small. I haven't got my glasses on.

So the top 10 buying towns per capita, I'm just looking at, I mean, grey mouth urine nine, Masterton, urine seven, Tiawa Mutu, four, and then there's your top three, Pahua, Pribble shown. Just embracing it.

Teow Mutu is four. of those smaller places, you just get bored, don't you? So... What else are you going to do? What else are you going to do? They've done, I mean, like, they've done awards. Where do you want to go? Hawks Bay, they win the Dominatrix Award for the purchase,

the biggest purchases of leather products. What about my home province of Taranaki? Taranaki, the Roll Play Award, School Girl uniforms, Male Costumes, you are loving the dress-ups. You do. You had that school uniform. You'd have that girl's uniform. Well, there was that one time I got a photo with our...

off Stuart from home and away in the summer bay. They did something to you. Girls uniform, yeah. Why, cutto, that's you, Vorni. You are the Loube Launcher Award. Oh. Biggest buyers of Loobs. Who can blame us?

And where's me? Where's me? Wellington. Far out. Oh no. If it's too bad, you could opt for your actual place of Berth Rangiora. Yeah, I'll head down to Canterbury, eh? How bad was Wellington? It's very out the back, and we're blowing things up and we're tying things up.

Okay, right. Okay, so Canterbury's sexiest region, biggest buyers of toys overall, almost in almost every category. It's wild that people affected by an earthquake would buy a vibrating toy. Triggering, eh? I would have thought so every time you went to play with yourself,

you'd kind of be like taking back. A rumble, hear the rumble and go, I don't like that. I'm about to hit the red zone. You know what I'm saying? Play Z-N's Fletchhorn and Haley. From the Fletchhorn and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Yeah, get a mate.

Top six signs, your plane's full of salmon. We are exporting salmon by the plane load. How much salmon can you fit in a plane? Jepers, I don't know. It's not like, it's not in tanks, say. Like it's all cut up and dead and frozen. Nah, nah, it's in a big tank. It's in a big tank.

They've sealed up all the gaps on a plane. And they just fill it with water. And fill it with water and pump the fish in the top. Swimming around. All I like the top six signs, your plane's full of salmon. Okay. On its way overseas. Number six on the list, cats are chasing you down the runway as you take off.

Getting blown back by the jet engines. I reckon some of them would like claw onto the wing or something and be like, climb up with the claws. Number five on the list of the top six signs your plane's full of salmon. It's very sloshy on takeoff and landing. You can hear it. Slosh. Where are you?

In your seat. The human. Okay, so only half of it's filled with water. Underneath the big tank You're not allowed any luggage On the salmon flights Because downstairs is all filled up Unless it's got more salmon in it

Also we're sending all this overseas Could we make our salmon cheaper Don't be stupid No salmon we want to keep that nice and price So all that beautiful beef that we're sending overseas Could we keep some and make our cheap Don't be stupid Or could we keep some butter and make it cheaper for us

No don't be stupid Oh okay sorry I mean it's just an idea Sorry don't yell at me Are you trying to put people Before profit again Shut up man Man I'm sorry

You dickhead Yuck Come on. Sorry, guys. You're an idiot. Shut up. Just shush. Number four on the list of the top six sides.

Your plane's full of salmon. The meal options are fish. Yep. Fish or fish. But it's pretty fresh. Yeah, good. Okay, nice. It's pretty fresh.

You can actually, in business class, they open a little hole on the floor and you put your fishing rod down and you catch your owner. Oh, nice. It's pretty posh. How the other half live. Must be nice. Whatever. Business traveler. I've got an upgrade coming up.

Yeah. I got a couple. I got it. Number three on the list of the top six sides of your plane's full of salmon. There's a guy in economy that you strongly think is a series of salmon in a trench coat trying to make a great escape. You can tell. Yeah. It's the face that's the giveaway.

For me, it's the smell. Oh, speaking of number two, number two on the list of the top six sons, your planes full of salmon, the whole thing stinks of fish. Yeah, it rakes. Oh, yucks. Pooh. What is that? Salmon's not too bad to cook at home, but there's that fish that if you cook it, you're not getting rid of that smell.

for like days. It's one of the white... Is there a stinky fish? There's a stinky fish? Is it a halibur? Is it? And I just don't buy it now. Or a smoked kahawhi?

No, it's not... Like, it's like... Yeah, maybe it's that or there's another... It's a white... Fleshy one, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's not snapper. No, snapper smells and taste like nothing. I love it.

Smells and taste like nothing. Yeah, just... It's just... It's flake. Okay. Number one on the list of the top six signs your plane is it's full of salmon. You have a sneaking suspicion

that the pilot and all the flight stuff are beers. You can tell, they're getting paid. Yeah, they're like, you push the button and can I get another drink? Okay, don't worry about it. It's very busy hunting the salmon.

Yeah, that's today's top sox. The Flet's morning, Haley, big pod. Well, Simon Cowell, who's 66 years old, and because he's tried to look younger with plastic surgery, he actually has ended up looking about 80. I know. He's a great example of why you shouldn't mess with your face too much. Not too much. The eye lift thing, he looks, yeah. He looks like a cat. Like it's sort of odd and tight.

Anyway, he's claimed that he's managing to age backwards due to a controversial blood filtering process where they take blood, they rinse and filter it and put it back into your body. Was it Orlando Bloom said to be doing this? I don't know. I feel like that was the thing. He was blood. filtering. Was he? Jesus.

He said he goes to a wellness clinic. Just be happy with the blood you've got, guys. Yeah, might. Some kids don't have blood. The kids in Africa don't have blood. Be happy with what you've got and eat your blood. They've got blood. They've got food.

I'm getting food. But they've both got a two O's and a D on them. Yeah, a news story from mid-July saying that Orlando Bloom tried to clean his blood. Yeah. He spent over $10,000 on blood filtering. What was in it? Yeah. So apparently you do it to remove the mind.

Microplastics? Oh, give me a break. So just put it through a cheesecloth. A muslin. Yeah, a muslin. I've actually got one of those sushi Japanese fish in me swimming around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you can feel it on my arm.

You see it going up your arm. Kind of cool, actually. He says it's working. He's managing to age backwards thanks to this sort of blood filtering thing. Oh, yeah, you're quite right. There's a picture of Orlando Bloom doing it as well. By what? You know, by what?

What measurements, is he aging backwards? Well, I don't know. They can test your... Biological age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can. Right. And see how old your body actually is, like behaving.

When you've done that to your face, what does it matter the inside? What does it matter, you know? I know. Anyway, this is what I want to know from our listeners. I like it when the curtains match the carpet, you know? Yeah. When the outside and the inside are both haggard and tired and all in the front of a bit.

You look at me. You know what my insides look like. I want to know from our listeners what extreme or crazy thing did you do in the name of health and beauty because, I mean, I had my blood taken out, centrifuged the plasma injected back into my head

to grow some hair back after it got ripped out. But that like worked day. Yeah, and it's quite proven for like joint and that kind of stuff, but that was crazy. What, like, I remember you getting that done and telling us about it and I was like, that is insane, but it worked, didn't that? It did work.

And I'm not here to, poo-poo any of these things. Maybe you did something crazy and it worked. Yeah, did a Kandashian do that? Yeah, Courtney. Courtney had the same thing, tension, alopecia from a ponytail. Yes, yes. Got a hole of a ballhole like I did and got that done.

To be like needleed and have your blood put back. It definitely was maybe the most extreme thing I've had done other than all my other surgeries and procedures. That's crazy. You know candles? Yeah. No matter of wax. Yeah. You can warm that wax right and you put it on the hairy bits of your skin.

and then they'll put like a little bit of material over it, and then they'll use that wax to pull the hair. I've had that done. Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy, man, because those are that wax, that's for candles. You had your chest done, eh? You had your whole body for the radio done. Oh, that would hurt.

That was the regrowth on the chest, didn't make it worth it. Well, that's the thing that we all put ourselves through the craziest stuff for beauty and health. Or maybe, you know, like it was an odd diet that you tried. Didn't you do like one, two, one piece of broccoli, two pieces of broccoli, one pieces of broccoli? Oh my God, years ago, I took those pregnancy hormone things that make you HCG or something like that. And I was trying to lose weight quickly like an idiot. And I took these pills and I was working with Chris Parker at the time

and I lost my mind and he was like, you stop it. But you are intolerable. You know, I did a diet to try to fix about 9 million problems at once and it was so limited that I didn't eat. And when everyone was like, it's working. You've lost all this weight. I was like, no, that's called starving. The first thing I lost was my mind.

Yeah, my mind. Wow. Okay, well, whether it was like, I don't know, a crazy diet or a crazy health thing, 0,800 dials it em is a number. 9-696 is our text. What crazy thing did you try in the name of health and beauty? Well, Simon Cowell is filtering his blood. He's putting it through a cheese cloth to get out all the plastics

and getting a bit put back into him. So we want to know what is the craziest thing you have tried? in the name of health or beauty. And producer Shannon used to hang her head off the side of the bed. Back in like peak YouTube days when like all the beauty gurus were coming out with lots of videos and hacks, I was maybe 15 years old and I heard about the inversion method, which is where you hang your head off the back of your bed or like a couch

and have all the blood rush to your head and you stay there for a minute at least. But I reckon I stayed for five sometimes. Okay. And I did that every night for, weeks and weeks. To try to get your head to grow. Yeah, to try to get my head to grow. I mean, blood to the, to the, you know,

the site makes sense, but jeepers. That's not going to do jack all. It did absolutely nothing. Besides make you, yeah, a bit dizzy and a bit yuck. How long did you do that for? I reckon at least a couple months. Okay. It kind of reminds me so much of me doing this in intermediate.

My must, I must increase my bust to try to get bigger boobies because I had itty bitty-bitty. What are you doing here? I don't know, it was just like a dolly magazine thing We used to put a pencil all there too So you would do that And then you'd do the pencil test And then you would keep doing it

Until the pencil test works How would you? This is like that machine at the gym What is that one? You're doing pexorials Wouldn't this decrease the boobies? No, because I guess if you had bigger bigger pecs That it would pop a little bit

I mean needless to say All I needed to do was weight Wait, what did they say? The skin bags of fat are they Boots, wouldn't you be burning off Don't get me wrong. You're not burning anything. My absolute favourite.

Favorite skin bag of fat. I must increase my bust. I mean, 90s girls remember this. Oh, yeah, no. I mean, it worked. This is absolutely wild. Wait a minute. You just can't say it worked because you've got big boots.

Genetically, I think you were on your way there anyway. Dave, what did you do? The crazy thing you did in the name of health? Morning, me, guys. How are you doing? Morning. Pretty good, mate. Not bad.

We thought it was Friday, but it's Tuesday. I'm basically in the same space But when I was I've always been very thin I was like I've got to try and change it I really want to do something about it And a chef friend of mine was like Oh why don't you try putting pig lard

In your coffee It's worse It's worse than you think And for about three months Every single morning in the long blade Could be about a teaspoon And a bit of piglar Go in there

You would see it I'm a pig light of my coffee The Fantastic of Rock West band name Yeah It's got I love that That's so funny. Did it make it taste like bacon?

Yeah, but yeah, effectively. It was like a bacon coffee, but it had no ultimate, like, effect on me at all. I think I've just clogged my arteries and ruined my life. Yeah, probably just, um, gave yourself. It's not good to you. A clubbed arteries and really. Oh, my God. I think it's only Tuesday.

I think we should do caller of the week just for the, um, for the band name. That was, it tickled me there. But also, it is only Tuesday, but it feels like a Friday. It does. Dave, we're going to hook you up caller of the week. All thanks to Kimm's Warehouse. Home in the biggest brand, lowest price has got a chemist warehouse prize pack for you.

Just wait there, mate. Mergens. All right, some text messages. Can't believe me and Dave struggle with the same problem. Just cannot come away. No matter what I do, I cannot put it on. Jay, do want us to send you some weight as well, Dave, but maybe we could send him some weight.

Yeah, happy to lob off a thigh for you. Deep voice, though, eh? Yeah, for a skinny fella. Skinny, dude. Masser balls. Yeah, you know, like, yeah. Masser balls. You should see the balls on this guy.

And they look even bigger because he's so skinny down there. There's no like cushioning around. Anyway, I soaked my... He's been doing his peck. He's trying to increase his bust. Increase my bust. I soaked my nails in olive oil every day for months to get them to grow. Didn't work cost me heaps.

Yeah, that's an expensive oil. Wouldn't you be better with a supplement, like a calcium supplement or... Biotin supplement makes a he's skin and nails. Not olive oil. I tried Zumba when it was a big fad. Lots of fun, but I don't think I lost any weight. No. Do you remember those places they popped up everywhere in the 2000s,

those vibrating plates. Dude, yeah, yeah. And everyone was like, I might, I can eat whatever I want and I'll just stand on a shaky plate for 10 minutes and it all just go away. Instead of doing weights, he just held onto that thing. It was like, oh, go, oh, oh, wow. Shook you dick.

Don't do that. Why? You'd better hope the camera wasn't on just then. You've done that a couple of times later. When I was 10, my friend told me her dad went down to the beach every day and put his toothbrush into the sand and brushed his teeth are for sand and somehow convinced me to do it. That's two abrases.

That's why they say some of the charcoal toothpaste isn't good, because it's basically your floss... Is it brushing off the enamel? Is that where you'd be? Yes. You need that. I had weight loss surgery. Life changing.

Wow. Not just weight-wise, but I was on my way to needing double hip replacements and it was drastically reduced the likelihood of this being required. Yeah. I mean, in the name of health

doing something that dramatic, early. Yeah. Why not? I was listening to someone talk about why they did like a weight loss jab. And like, it's just changed your life because they don't hurt and they can actually go to the gym

and... It doesn't hurt. Yeah. And they can move. It's when Hollywood celebrities abuse it. Oh, my God. Who have we seen lately? I saw the Osborne's, Kelly and Sharon Osborne had a photo out of the weekend in a 90s.

It didn't look like heroin shake. Yeah, but back in the 90s they were doing it properly. They were doing heroin. Doing heroin. And starving themselves. I mean, it's a jab, but you know, a Zempick, in the hip. Heroin and Levine. I don't, yeah.

I have such bad. I hate it at the moment. Yeah, because you were just saying the other day. You know, like everyone's talking on the internet at the moment about the cast of Wicked and how much weight they've lost. They're already thin, but how much weight they've lost for all the red carpet stuff, even compared to the films. Yeah.

And the three female leads. I don't want to like bag on them, but like they're saying, oh, this is my body that's healthy. So you're like, you haven't had that body ever before. Yeah. How do you know? It's thin, thin, thin, thin. And then you, Amy Schumer posted a thing when she's got the all, like, bobblehead. effect going on.

Sorry, we just turn it a bit serious there. Great news for people who are staying chubby though because all those chubby funny people in movies are going to need filling, aren't they? I know. I'm actually going to put on any weight I've lost. Just to sort of have a point of difference. Fill the gap.

The Z&P Podcast Network Play ZDM's Fletch, Vonenheelies. It is so silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Right, they're back. The listeners are back. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, we've got a bit.

They love silly little pole. Yeah, they love it. Do you have an advent calendar or is today, silly little pole? I wanted to get a bougie one this year, but I forgot. And now it's second. Every year, I say to myself, I'm going to get the whiskey out of the calendar. The whiskey one, yeah, yeah. And I never do.

But there are some real boozy ones Like a lot of brands now do like really nice ones I got the Marlborough one Today it's Ice Blast Yep and tomorrow I think yesterday was Reds I thought you had Mara Wines I didn't know they were doing Which is a different siggy every day

So December 1st it was a just classic Malbara Red Okay yeah beautiful Lov-a-Menthal on the 4th No today was menthol Oh manned at early Shibu and the producers But shout out to Shannon in the workshop

You got an advent calendar from show sponsor Chemist Warehouse. I have a jelly belly advent calendar this year and it's the best. I love jellybillies. I know and it's it just comes with six little jelly beans a day. I mean that's one of these. I love jellybellies so much. I got it from Chemist Warehouse. It was in the you know when you go to the aisle to leave. I like pay

it was there and I was like this is the best thing ever. Why don't they have me some goodies there, right? Why don't they have me reading that out as one of the lines for the chemist warehouse? Add live one. I just got here. I just got here white and teeth with Colgate. optic white range from 799 it should say

with jelly belly advent calendars and check out and do you know what's the best part so I had my first day yesterday but it tells you all the flavours every day is different on Christmas Eve there's a mystery flavour and it says mystery

Christmas flavour wait it's not it's not that game they do where they've got some yuck flavours I don't like those ones no no no that's not jelly belly I don't do that oh they don't do that okay this is I'll keep you updated long tease for just Christmas Eve sorry it does sound like

Like we're really ding, ding, ding in here. But they have, Chemist Warehouse has heaps. Emco Beauty Advent calendar. They've got a Revolution Beauty Makeup calendar. They've got a Revlon beauty advent calendar. Jelly Belly Harry Potter Advent calendar? I'm just an OG jelly belly girl. Just a jelly belly.

Okay, wow, there you go. Should I pick up, do you want one? No. Well, do you have an Advent calendar? 65% of people said no. Yeah, okay. 35% of people have an Advent calendar. Do you think it's because, like, you can't resist the jelly

And this is why I just said no to you buying me one, as much as I do one one. People find it hard to say no to chocolate and lollies at breakfast when it's 7 o'clock and they wake up and they're like, well, I've got to open the door. It's the day. I've got to open the door. It's not always lollies and chocolate. August, my daughter's got a Harry Potter Lego one this year. Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool.

What do you get a roof tile on the second? Yeah, it's going to be junk, but, you know, a little Harry Potter Lego to add to the collection. Yeah. How can anybody possibly walk past a Lego Advent calendar and not buy it? Oh, that's from Sam. Okay. P.S. Vaughn should do Advent Calendar Week in the lead-up to Christmas. Oh, I like that.

Sort of calendar week, but a festive calendar week. We might have ourselves weeks. How many facts on Advent calendars especially could you find? Well, given that you just said Advent and then Expecial. Am I stroking? I'm stroking. She's out. I don't know.

Oh, have a look. I'll see what I can do. Dan said I got the Taskmaster one. It's quite big, but yes, it will take up some space in my suitcase. There's a trapes across the Pacific. What is it? What's the Taskmaster Advent calendar? Am I a square?

You wish. Taskmaster Advent calendar is 2025. It'll be a UK one, won't it? Yeah. The official taskmaster. 24 days of tasks puzzle, fest of joy and a dash of delightful chaos. Oh, that's a good idea. That's cool.

You do a little task each day. That is a great idea. That is cool. Oh, and you can get Taskmaster bonbons as well, like Christmas crackers. Bonbons. Oh, that's interesting. Hey. And there'd be a task in the cracker

Instead of a joke Oh, that's a great idea Longtime podcast First Time S-LP messenger Chowder That's tremendous Chocolate calendar for the kids Alcoholic one for me

Which coincidentally helps you cope With the sugar rush and or crash Alines quite nicely Haley said it's not just chocolate It costs $130 and why should kids get all the cool stuff I deserve treats in the form of expensive mini perfumes and face creams

and products I could never normally afford more than they do Yeah, I saw someone opening up a, I think it was Chanel and had a little mini Chanel perfumes and lipsticks and skin. Yeah, that would have been a thousand dollars or something. Oh, at least. Yeah. I make mine for the kids, said Sophie, who apparently is going for Mother of the Year.

Yeah, that's a great idea. Hair ties, clips, small toys and good old undies. My two are obsessed. Prior to kids, we did the same with my partner, brother and mum stashed little bottles of booze in it. It's been a tradition everybody enjoyed. I don't rate the shit chocolate ones. The chocolate ones are, if you go cheap, you're going to get cheap. Yeah, the shit.

Gee, there's an Eve Saint-Laurent Advent calendar, which is on special for $750 down from $1,000. Jeez. On sale for $750. Wow. But then I guess you're getting little perfumes, aren't you? Yeah. But still.

And tiny little handbags. You could buy like 700 chocolate advent calendars for that. Yeah, but still 700 junk, white, powdery chocolate ones. I forgot to get one, see, Kate, thanks to remind me. Oh. Is that like, thanks to remind me I can get one? Because they're going to be cheaper now because we're a starter, aye. Yes, and also you can, on the first day you get it,

eat two to three chocolates. Chelsea said, I feel sorry for people that don't have one. Even my dog has one. Now, are we about to double ding show sponsors and see that Animates has... It's a great idea. Advent calendars? Yep, I just searched it said that take care of the rest yourself.

Oh, we've been digging a lot, hey? We're dinging. Yeah. Lucy said it's 12 days of New Zealand dyed wool inspired by Southern Landscape Colors. Oh, Shannon would like that. that too. I love that. But there's

really something for everyone. My partner heavily encourages my pepper and me addiction. This is New Zealand company.

Oh, we love them. Yeah, we do. We've really enjoyed it. So they never fail to get me one. They pepper and me do an infant calendar. Love it.

His mother also gets us a chocolate one each year. We're really just big kids. Guys, there's quite a lot of adult fun toy ones as well. Oh, okay. I just think something for everyone.

Gosh. Natalie said adult ones are cool but it's hard to justify the cost. Yeah. It's an expensive time it is, yeah. Yeah. And Catherine said, my mum doesn't buy them anymore.

Apparently once we move out of home, we're no longer her children. Rude. That's so rude. So little poll today, we asked, do you have an Advent calendar? And 65% of you are Advent calendar less. Play. Play, ZN. Flesh won and Hayley. Oxford Dictionary, that's my dictionary of choice.

I've got a one-one at prize-giving at Queen Margaret College. And since then I just stuck with it. Did they give that to you because you needed it the most? No! It was actually for getting honours in English, and then since then it's actually gone down. And I've done no work on my England ever since. Oxford University have picked their word of the year.

I can't even remember the rest of them, but it's all like 6-7 and Shiboo and all that. Oxford have gone with rage bait. Okay. When they do a double-barreled word? Are they rage hyphen baiting or are they rage space baiting? Rage space bait. Rage space bait.

The phrase, meaning to get angry scrolling through social media. Oh, I thought it was people who were baiting you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was you were being baited. The person was doing the baiting, that's rage bait. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Do you find yourself getting increasingly irate whilst going through your social media feed? If so, you may fall victim to rage bait.

Yes. Is a term that describes manipulative tactics used to drive engagement online. Which is... So this is so much, let you see it. like, um, hairdressers. Hairdress. Oh, yeah, that. But, like, hairdresses will post intentionally, but dead.

Hairdresses will post intentionally bad haircuts and be like, my best work or tattoo artists will do, like, fake tattoos. Well, and we know this, that the algorithms, the social media algorithms thrive on, you know, rage bait, basically. Yes, totally. Like, you're not, you know, here's a nice picture of it. I mean, you know, cat pictures, sure, do right. We're done with those now.

But we're done with those. But anything that's, you know, that creates anger. Or outrage, it does better. Yeah, you linger on it. You get their numbers up. Their insights are better. It's a rage bait. Their shortlist was aura farming,

the cultivation of an impressive, attractive or charismatic persona, or biohack to attempt to approve or optimise one's physical. We're just talking about this, or mental performance, health, longevity or wellbeing by altering one's diet or lifestyle. But rage bait,

that's the Oxford Year of the Word. New Year of the Word. Note one more time. That's the year's Oxford of the Word. Wait, they gave you. you a dictionary at high school, right, yeah. And that is Oxford's Year of the Worse. The ZN podcast Network.

Well, I've been in denial about this for like, I reckon a month or so, maybe a little bit longer. Can't deny any longer. This is a massive day for... I was at the airport the other day on my phone and I was like, is that gay, is that, is that an eight or a three when I was reading my phone and I was like, yep, everything's getting a little blurry. And I up till now,

Mr. 2020, up till now, have had the most amazing eyesight. Not even that long ago. No, my long vision is amazing. Like, I'll see things. Yeah. And you'll be with you and you'll be like, so you're long-sided, whereas I'm short-sided.

I need my glasses for seeing in a way. Well, and I remember going, I had an eye infection or something like last year and I remember going to the optometrist and I said, I've got perfect vision. I've got great eyesight. And they laughed and said, well, not for much longer. And I was like, what?

And it's something that. happens to everybody when you get older. Yeah, you can't, you don't die with perfect vision. No, and I reckon it's happening to me. Like, when up close reading, I'm like, oh, it's getting a bit blurry. The squints. I don't want to be that person

that has to hold their phone at arms leave. My dad, oh my God, when he's reading a menu and it's over here. Yeah. Or you show him something, a screen like, Dad, look at this video and he has to hold it a million miles away. Yeah, I know. Because I've got perfect vision. Well, I've got... Someone is 10 years younger than you. Okay, I've got

news for you. It's going to happen to You too. I know. Of course it will. But it's very confronting because I have had great vision and now things are getting blurry. And so do you know what? I'm going to have to go get an eye test.

Yeah, but then what? What are we doing? Are we getting some cute lenses? I don't suit glasses. You know it with me with sunglasses. I don't suit any sunglasses. But it's got a name, you said. The thing.

Well, I don't know. Is it just getting older? Age-related presphobia? Which is a normal eye condition that causes gradual loss of the ability to focus on close-up objects. Oh, okay, so that's just getting old. Okay, get this. It normally starts 40.

He's been a... He's been a... I've beaten that by six. Can it be fixed with laser eye surgery? I don't know. You should just get it done. Oh my God, if I can, I will. Can you imagine Fletch

dealing with the admin of little... Oh, my God. What's the water they put in? Oh, my God, I know. Little eye juice for your contact lenses and your little solution? Don't get contact lenses. I had a friend staying in my house

and it hit all the stuff was on the bathroom thing The little cap thing What a fath And this was like a few weeks ago And I was like oh my God What if that has to be me Dealing with that? What if it's not the kind

That Lacer Guy surgery can heal though You're going to have to go lenses You can't figure glasses Oh my God Oh my God You're working with a couple of four eyes But that's a couple of four eyes I've never been a four eyes

Now I'm going to be a four eyes Born's our resident four eyes And even that's new Ish stish Well you had laser A couple of years ago Because I got my reminder from spec savers they were like it's been two years since your last glasses you need to come in

and we need to check because they get they get worse don't they yeah but you can't get laser again can you now i've got to get a scrape yeah and it was a lot and i was just like nah no i just like i don't want to deal with that it's happening though like that sounds like a rigmarole yeah and then you don't want to it's such you know the worst part about it is opening a hot oven and you just get a steamed glass straight away i know i was thinking about that I don't want to be steamed up. So much of your life. I'm having to worry about everyday bullshit with glasses.

Like when someone's like, can I try them on and they grab the lenses with their fingers? Sticking. Oh, yeah. And then just like remembering where you put them. You can't like just rub your eye immediately. Yeah. Yeah, you take them off.

Everything goes blurry. Do you have to take out your contact lenses when you go swimming? Not if you were goggles. Yes, says Shannon, who has you. Oh, I don't want to do that. What do you mean you have to take them out? Every time you go to the beach or Sunday. No, what you do is if you open your eyes.

you can, but sometimes they blub, blah, blop, and they fall out. Oh my God, a turtle could eat that, shouldn't it? Well, no, I'm talking in a pool. No turtles in my pool. We've got three. We've got three at my swimming pool. Yeah, I think we're quite a lot of them.

Did you pool not have turtles? Ooh, Povow. Crazy. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. Taylor Swift on ZM, Flechforn and Haley. Speaking of, Ed Shearon has had to speak out

and clarify there is no beef between him and Taitay because everyone was like their relationships changed over the years and there's beef and jealousy and whatnot and they don't talk and da-da-da it was just rumours

each year and say I don't have a cell phone so no she didn't immediately tell me about the engagement and then when he found out a week later they talked on the phone for four hours and caught up and they're very good friends he's like we're busy we see each other when we see each other she sent him a pigeon

with a little note saying I've been engaged. She sent the pigeon and the pigeon had a phone and it was on the call and as the pigeon dropped the phone to him because he doesn't have his own phone he was like hello and she's like

Ed hi I got engaged I love that he doesn't have a phone that would make life so hard though like at least have a brick like that you know I thought he had a brick he says no phone now but maybe he did have a little bit of a brick

right so you can just call your kids or something yeah but anyway not be no be I don't want no beef and there is no beef. I want to know from our listeners who you are beefing with at the moment

and why Christmas, tensions are high maybe it's a family member what are we getting mum and dad? Maybe it's oh yeah maybe because your brother or sister doesn't want to go in on a gift or something that's quite a thing What are you beefing over that?

That's just a slight disagreement. No that's beefing. No, do you remember when Philip didn't want to buy your parents to dash cam? No, he wanted to buy the dash cam and we wanted to buy them the digital photo frame.

I tell you what still gets used every day the digital photo frame you were right you were right on that one so okay so you want to maybe it's someone in the office could be a workmate could be a friend could be someone that's done you wrong could be a partner could be an ex could be anything i love this your chance to let off a little steam it's like a little tuesday morning yeah a little vent release yeah and we don't need to use names like it can just be anonymous it could be someone you work with oh okay okay oh start start the ball i'll tell you who i'm beefing with i'll tell you says eight one seven my partner he doesn't it yet, but he will. He came home

from a stag due on Sunday. He brought, quote, me, a six pack of donuts. And I was like, oh, thanks babe, that's sweet. Consider you got home so late, I put them in the fridge. I went to get one last night. No donuts left. This romantic con man ate all the donuts himself. We got beef, and I'll be returning him to his

mother. I'm sorry, but if you didn't eat any bite last night and they were in the fridge for 18 hours... No, if you have brought in an apology gift, sorry that I was drunk and busy on the weekend you've got to at least leave me one donut when do you reckon he's going to find out a beef and he's probably just enjoying a bit of peace and quiet if he's getting the silent treatment after a big weekend i reckon tonight he'll start getting the hint maybe yeah

the text machine we're getting we're getting beefing i love this people be beefing man wow this what we want to know this morning who are you beefing with ed sharon has had to come out and clarify that he is not beef with taylor swift we've been delivered a christmasized beef roast that wow in our text machine here man people are stressed or dealing with things. They're beefing all over the show. There's so much beef in here. We've got open a beef sandwich shop.

Which we start. I'm beefing with the seven-year-olds in my classroom. I think it's hilarious to say, six, seven. Does that count? I think if you react, that's only going to make the situation worse. You've got to have the ownership of that. Yeah, you've got to come in. It's completely stopped in my house.

The first thing you do when you walk into that class is you start going six, seven. Make it late. And then they'll be like, six seven. It's that time of the year where you're not really teaching them anything anyway. No, you're not really teaching them anything anyway. I just send the rest and. Yeah, yeah, and mucking around, doing art projects and stuff. Cleaning up.

Scalcagia, scaties, chagas, and screaming at them. Just screaming at them. Take a lorazepam, put your feet up. You know what I mean? I have a little hip flasker, a madraud. Oh, no, we can't be encouraging. Oh, come on. Oh, a little sip.

Anonymous, who are you beefing with right now? I'm beefing with my so-called best friend. I think more of a backstabber than anything else. Oh, okay. Hey, what did they do? Well, she got this new friend that I could feel that we weren't, like, I wasn't vibing with. I could feel that she was coming along to take away the friendship that we did have. And I had first told my friend this, and she's like, it's not that deep, stop reading into things so easily.

I'm quite an emotional person. Sorry, she's the kids in the background. That's okay. You're allowed kids. So, yeah. I'm apparently getting too deep. things so I left it at that and then about a week ago we do the sunrise walk and she was texting the so-called person but you know when you turn the phone away from someone to make sure that they

can't see and I was like oh that's a bit weird so I was like okay you know what I'm going to send you a message and say I don't like how it's one-on-one it's all good for us but then when there's other people around it's weird and another thing is we always just to post each other on social media and I know it sounds a bit like petty but all of a sudden since this new friend came along, barely anything about me and the kids on the social. So I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, right.

So I sent her this whole long message, look, I'm not leaving this embitterness, like all the best, whatnot. We're meant to go to Lewis Capaldi today. Sold her ticket. No. Have a nice laugh. Yeah.

Oh, my God, you're done with her. You're done with her. It seems a little reactionary to be like, I'm done with you because you've got a new friend. Oh. But I'm not done with her because she's got a new friend. I'm done with her because of,

of how she's making me feel with the new friend because it's completely totally different. Anonymous life is too short to have things like this that don't make you feel good. If it no longer serves you, let it go. Exactly. Some friends are for her season. And yeah, can you serve your season.

Season over. Enjoy your drama, so laugh. I don't need it. Yes, sweetie. You enjoy Lewis Capaldi, babe. Thank you. I'll be there solo singing. Hell, yes.

Solo concerts. We love this. Love that. Anonymous. Thank you so much. Enjoy tonight. So many messages coming in. Who are you beeping with right now?

My husband, he's breathing too loud and sleepy all the time. Oh, yeah, poor old guy, we're out there working and breathing and... I'm beating with my mum because no matter how much I tell her, don't leave meat, just open and unwrapped in the fridge. Every time I open the fridge is a slab of chicken breast on the plate. That's a reversal there, because mum's usually the one that's like, don't put that in the fridge like that.

Have that wrapped up, because it'll absorb all the fridge juice. Someone's beefing with their cat. Oh, yeah? Because I do everything. but she loves my husband so much more than me. Yeah, Raleigh loves my dad more than he loves me. Wow, that must hurt. Beefing with my bridesmaid because she made our wedding all about herself.

Ew. Oh. Oh. I'm beeping with my boss. No Christmas work, do. No Christmas hamper, no annual bonus. Used to get all three when I started working here five years ago. Now, nothing.

Wow. Cause you love a cry, though. Yeah. Although the company did just post a $20 million profit. Yeah, but you don't get a, you know, pear cheese crack a hamper. Yeah. No key cheese cracker Money's time

Sorry A boo You're welcome to organise your own work too If you want to go out Just leave our name off it Mickey who are you Beefing with at the moment My two year old

Oh why Because he doesn't want to wear pants Neither I'm 44 Next year and I don't want to wear pants all the time Does he want to wear anything else Like a skirt or a dress or shorts No

T-shirt and nassy, that's all he wants. Does he like wearing crocs? No, no sandals, only gunboots. Only gumb boots. Okay, at least he's got something on his feet there. What about a hat? Hard to get a hat on a two-year-old?

He's actually fine with hats. Hats and some laughs is, he's good. Haddney and gumboots, that's my outfit of choice. Yep. I'd be very comfortable in all of those. I'd be stowed. A bit of a panting on the bum to stop any rash. You're away laughing.

Thanks, Mickey. I'm beefing with my daughter's school because they are effing useless. Oh, dear. Yeah. My brother just had his wedding He didn't let kids come to the wedding That's fair

I'm on board for it's absolutely fair enough Which meant 50% of the family Couldn't come to wear 50% of their family's kids No but just leave them somewhere Due to it being in Christchurch When most families live in Auckland And then during his vows he said

He wanted his whole family at the wedding And then the dog appeared with the rings on the collar So the dogs are here Yeah, they're their dogs That's his wedding Yeah And you can drop off your kids at the SPCA for the weekend For the time to touch

Can you? They look after the pound Because they play with the dogs and stuff Oh that's not I got beef with my work mate, he stinks of piss. Cheers, Rex. Oh, Rex. Thank you, Rex.

Beefing with the neighbour because they only mowed part of the shared burn, even though our part is like a metre max. Oh, that's so petty. I couldn't stop. I would have to mow the neighbours because it would do my head in that there was a metre. Unless there's a driveway in the middle, just get it. Yeah, yeah. Beefing with my toddler, because all she says is dada,

no mama to be heard at all. I had some beef with a guy at work so I ended up having a fight with him and got dropped out of lots and got dropped in front of loads of loads of people so they had a beef they started the fight and then they got dropped that's not going to feel good is it?

No, no. My ex, we do shared custody with our dog haven't been together for five years I've got a new partner for the last few years now he has met the love of his life and we can't continue to do shed custody we need to put him down according to him now I don't know who my beef was with him or the love of his life

so well wait I don't know Kill that needs to be put down. Can't someone just take it on full-time? Why doesn't she just take the dog on full-time? Show dog? Should we get a show dog if it's really causing you this much stress? That's not your only option. We've got to put it down.

That's wild. I'm just in my mood right now. I'll adopt you, dog. Don't for me. You can't. It's not. You can't afford this. I know I can't afford this, but I can't see a good boy getting.

Can't see a good boy being torn between households. Also, it might be one of those like little. Oh, no, then put it down. No, don't put it down. I'm beefing with my boss. I just went a maternity leave at 38 and a half weeks pregnant, despite wanting to finish at 36 weeks, but I carried on at her request.

And the day after I left, everyone got their Christmas bonus, but I got nothing because I was late. Oh, no, that's some bullshit. Oh, that's crap. No, I'd be investigating that one. I'm beefing with my husband. He didn't look what he was putting on the washing machine. He popped a nappy in there.

I've exploded with the jelly goo. And I had to clean it up. That's a bush. I'm beefing with my boss because she's a micromanager. And a real see-you-next. Oh, yeah. Micromanaging's the worst. It's like, I'm doing the job here.

Beefing with my so-called best friend because she got married and did invite me to her wedding. I reckon that's not a best friend. No. That's my hot take on that. I'm beefing with my 18-year-old because she doesn't want to pay us any bored. Get out. Get out. Change the locks.

Go see what rent costs. Yeah, exactly. I'm beefing with my baby daddy because he's a loser. Yeah. I'm beefing with one of my clients. I'm a cleaner. They didn't pick up their personal towel beside the bed before I arrive. Beefing with my fiancé.

That personal towel by the bed. That's a... We all know what that towel is. You're a cleaner shouldn't have that. It's too small to dry yourself with in the shower. But too big for a flannel. For a flannel. The hand towel.

The spare hand towel. You only never need one hand towel for a three days stay at a hotel. Yeah. Yeah. But also that's yuck. Please stop doing that. There's Tissures and toilet paper in that room for a reason. The ZDM Podcast Network.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. Do-da-da-da-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-da-to-do. A fact of the day this week is vandalism. Vandalism is the theme. Yesterday we learned that van, the word vandal, comes from a Germanic tribe that were blamed for the sacking of Rome. Historically. So we're doing all sorts of vandalism this week,

and I want to tell you today about the most vandalised things in the world. Oh, exciting. Right. Yeah, we're looking forward to this. Sort of landmarks and well-known spots. Do you mean it doesn't necessarily mean to be, like, tagging? It could be like people taking a chunk of the pyramid or something.

Bingo. I reckon the Berlin Wall. Yep, Berlin Wall, one of the most graffitied walls. But it's art, eh? Both pre and post that coming down. It was a real, like, there's not... Lash out. There are chunks of it still up that you can see,

but there's not really a chance to chip some off. No, you can buy it. The Leaning Tower of Pisa, which we've talked about, recently, in fact, of the day, has medieval graffiti everywhere. Oh! Because you remember we said it started sinking, so it wasn't being used,

so squatters would get in back in the day, just like now. Skellywags. Skellyweds would get in and do some medieval graffiti. Scratching. With the chisel. Quickly, quickly, the po-po are coming. New York subway trains, historically the most tagged moving objects. Oh, yeah.

You know, back in the day when New York was pretty wild. The Pompeii ruins. People are scraping volcanic stone for souvenirs to take home, much like the pyramids. Stonehenge. Apparently, climate protesters have targeted Stonehenge many times. Yeah, because of all the oil it burns. Yeah, it does. It runs on fossil fuels.

It runs on diesel. It's sort of done when people are like protesting something and then they ruin something else. And, you know, like, people were throwing tomato soup on the Mona Lisa, which is behind glass. But you're like, what are you doing? Shush up! What's they doing for oil? Shush up your face.

Yeah. Shush up your face. We're working our way to that. Oh, sorry. We'll just do it now. He's on a show. He's going to cry. Now you've put him in a bad mood.

Have we got beefing? Go back to the phoneer. Hey, go answer the phone. Hi, Zidim. How are you beefing with? Haley Sprow. What did she do? She ruined my fact of the day because she said,

the number one most vandalised things like before I even started the top five. Oh, right, okay. I was jamming, I don't know, you pre-send us your emails. Okay, well now I'm just going to...

Excuse me. The mystery that is fact of the day will not be sent to you in an email. So other things on there, the Trevi Fountain. Oh yeah? So apparently any... The time you jump in,

it's officially known as an active vandalism. People have poured dye in the water and like snuck in like water full of dishwashing liquid Which sets it up? That makes 1.5 million euros annually. Does it? Of coins, good wishes coins.

Have you seen them emptier and scraped them all out? Yeah, I have seen them emptier. Well, fishing for coins with magnets is known one of the active graffities at the trip after Italy. Other ones, the swinks in Egypt is more vandalized than the pyramids. Oh, okay.

People take little bits off. By the way, the nose just fell off. That wasn't taken off. Chisle marks, graffiti, political message. names been carved into it and centuries have just a little chip off for a souvenir, please. Oh.

Yeah. In the 1800s, did you know, you could climb on it and picnic on top of the Swinks's back? Cute. Could you? I sure that was good for its longevity. Yeah, I know that's great. Pretty kicking holes in it so it's easy to climb up and down

and not spill your picnic. The Hollywood sign is one of the most, and it was in a wreck. In the 70s, it was like, they were almost thinking about tearing it down until a restoration project was undertaken. Crazy because you couldn't imagine it not being there now. But it's very hard to get close to now, and it's an offence, right?

To go too close. So it's got a full-time ranger, a dedicated ranger, razor wire, motion sensors, cameras, and drones that patrol it. Yeah. And one of the most famous times it was graffeted has been twice been changed from Hollywood to Hollyweed. People turn the O's into ears. That's silly. And I'm one in the last thing. Because I heard that lot of climate protesters often throw soup at it, but it's behind glass, so it's hard to ruin now.

I literally said this earlier. It's had acid throwing at it. Acid? Yeah, somebody got a rock in there and launched a rock at the... Wow. I don't even reckon that display the real one. Well, conspiracy.

They wouldn't. You just wouldn't, would you? If so many people are going at it... It's the real one. It's got to be the real one. It's just a photocopy. And Katie Perry is Jean-Beney, all grown up, sure. This is what you sound like.

Someone threw cake at it once. And the cake is not the real one. And then just like... slid down the perspex cover. So today's fact of the day, are you Googling a fix the actual? Apparently, but it is behind bulletproof glass. They wouldn't tell you.

In a protective climate-controlled environment. Well, they're going to control the climate because it's so old, right? Yeah, yeah. Can't have a sweaty. There was a news story this week that if you are traveling to Europe, they've hiked their prices for tourists to go to the Louvre by like 50%.

Yeah, you were right. I'm assuming they have to now upgrade their security system. in what's had the password loop. Oh, that's not. Because of the heist. Because of the heist. They've got to save up to it for the McAfee after

and maybe pay for a few more security guards. I reckon they probably should. So today's fact of the day is the Mona Lisa is one of the most vandalised items in the world. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do-da-to-do-to-to-da-to-da-to-da-da-to-da-da-to-da-da-to-do. Do do. The ZNM Podcast Network

Play ZDM's Fletch, One and Haley. Now, Christmas, December 1st, Ding, ding, ding, ding. December 1 marked the day that I put up my Christmas tree. Right.

I get my Christmas tree out. I went into... Because you've got a plastic Christmas tree, eh? Yeah, I do. You've got a nice one, though. It's really fluffy. That's what in a house? How did you get a Christmas tree?

No. You've never had a Christmas tree? I refused to have a Christmas tree. I thought one year you got a Christmas tree. No. Oh, okay. Not in the 10 years I've been in that house. No, okay.

I refuse to. Well, I remember your big gay Christmas tree at your last place. That was at the flat. Huge pink. That was owned by a homosexual. That was owned by a homosexual. I don't think you needed to clarify that the tree. I just don't think.

It was a great Christmas tree. Yeah. But it just had, it was pink with silver balls. Great. Yeah, it was great. And the lights were built in fiber optics? No, they didn't have lights. But you can buy like fluoro Christmas trees.

They're very cool. Oh, yeah, totally. Mine's just trad green, but it's high end. Oh, yeah. Yours is posh. Fluffy, yeah, I know. So, yesterday I had to do a whole bunch of moving around because I was saying yesterday on air that I don't have a good corner.

So what I did is I moved the bar cart and I moved that, you know, kind of rearranged the whole lounge. Heaven forbid we block the bar cart with the Christmas tree. No, we couldn't block it. Did you move the bar cart? I moved it. It's literally a cart. Yeah, the clue was in the name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, some people say bar cart, but they mean. A table? Yeah, like a little small side table. No. Next wheels. That's a table. And a handle.

Move that, set up the little place where you can see it as you walk. You can see it everywhere. It's a perfect spot. And I get it out and they fluff the tree and it's all ready to decorate and people have gathered in the lounge to watch me. Did you put some carols on? I did have carols on. I had Elton John's Christmas album. Should I pull it up in the background for a little bit of?

No one was happy about it. My mom doesn't like Christmas Carol. Doesn't she? Yeah. Because for those that... For those that don't know, your parents are living with you. So they, what, came and watched you do this? Yeah, they sat there with their whines.

Yeah. And, you know, said to me, like, you have that. And I started... Oh, I went to Middirt 10 on the way home and I got... I'm not using the cool lights. I'm using the warm lights. Oh, got some warmies. Got some warm lights.

Start wrapping the tree. Halfway. Not enough. So I've got to go back today. How... That's okay. That's important to... How many metres of...

So many metres. And what were you going a little too tall? But I want an abundance. So then I ended under it anyway. So it was a whole thing. And then everyone sat there making their little commentaries about,

you know, that bobble's too close to that flower and that bird is too close to this thing. And I, and I, there was some shut-ups thrown around. Okay. You know, leave me to it. Merry Christmas, best of season. Out and John's bout and out of Merry Christmas to you and screaming at each other shut up

and put the bird closer to the ball ball. You're doing the tree, Haley. And I was like, am I? Because it feels like we're all sort of doing. the tree. You know what I mean? I would happily just do the tree on my own. I love Christmas fights. Yeah, it was the first of many, the calm, I reckon.

This is Ed Sharon and Elton John. This is a good one. This was playing. So the tree got done so now it's not quite done though because I was saying my dad was saying I think it's all a bit much there's birds and flowers all over this thing. I like a simple... No, no, no I've decided it's not enough so today

I'm going shopping again to get more because that's it at its current... Jesus, that's, no, that's good. We don't need any more. No, I'm going to go garrush. Get your lights. So more lights and then I'm going to get more flowers. Jesus, look at the star on the top.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, mate, she's all out. That looks like a road spike. Yeah. It looks like one of those mines. Sea mines, yeah. We could put it up on socials, I guess, and we could say, do I need more or needless? Well, no, wait till I get my Christmas tree done and we'll have a who's got the best Christmas tree. Okay, great, great, great, great.

Because you know I'm going stupid big this year. Yeah, well, you're going real. We've got very different trees. Yeah. Mine's birds, flowers and soldiers. Right. And yours is real and you've got kids. I don't know.

I don't know what we're doing for... Scoos? Yeah, I know. It'll be so tacking. Damn, can I put up this some? Yeah. I was drood with crayons. I was actually talking to your mum and dad. I was talking to your mum and dad last night.

They said their kid made a real tacky mess of the Christmas tree as well. No, no, don't worry. They were saying it to my face. Plays. Play. That ends. Bless morning, Haley Doctors, we need them, we need them

We do, we love our doctors We love our doctors One hospital doctor in New Zealand Is owed 1.27 million dollars An annual leave Japest If you've got annual leave owing Like say you've got 40 days owing

The company pretty much That's a debt against the company That's why a lot of companies Will be like Hey you need to take a couple of weeks off next week Steve and you're like Yeah I don't know where to go

I've got so much to do Yeah The top 10 doctors were collectively owed $6.5 million of annual aid between them. So the first one's $1.27. The second highest doctor is $715,000. So they're like $2 million between two doctors. Wow. I know it's not that much as much money,

but a lot of teachers bank their leave and they can retire early. Yes. Yeah, they have a year of paid salary. Yeah. Like you could be, you could just be paid for six months and not be at work. Wait, is that because they have to take so much? Or they bank up their sick days? Because they get a lot of sick days?

We don't get the bank up of the sick days, eh? We drop off. They expire at the end of the area. Damn, I don't ever, you're, you. I know, I never used them. You'd have so many. Yeah, I'd trade them to sick people at work. I'd sell them to sick people.

Wow, that's great. That's so. I want to see how many I'm going to sell them to sick people. I know you're going through some stuff, Kevin, and you're out of sick days. I'm willing to sell you some sick days. Now, Kevin, what can you give me? I just really appreciate that you consider me. How much do you think?

Yeah. Yeah. I might. Hey, you know what I mean? Oh, 100%. No, that's what I'm saying. It's silly. Also, I'm pretty sure you've had enough days of this year.

Oh, no, I've had annual leave, but you haven't had many sick days. How about we just... We're not feeling that good, eh? They're just saying... There's sort of the huge liability that an already struggling health system can't kind of have hanging over its head, Because if these doctors are lewd to say, I don't know, Australia? Yeah.

To earn more money, then they just get cashed out. They can cash it out. Wait, if I was that doctor, I just leave and then get $1.6 million. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah. Same. So Taranaki, the doctors, I rode on average 21 weeks, a paid leave. Oh, wow.

That was the highest region in New Zealand. That's crazy. But also, when do they have the time to take it? Yeah, that's the other thing, hey. That's the same, so stretched, eh? Yeah. Oh, anyway. God, I wish I had all that.

Same. Well, maybe you should have gone to med school instead of drama school. We'd still be in mid school. They are equally as respected. Actually, I was going to say, if you ended up in Grey's Anatomy, you'd earn more than a doctor. So, huh, take that. Exactly. Yeah, but the chance of you ended up in Grace Anatomy, come on.

Yeah, how many Grey's Anamies are versus how many, like, doctors' offices there are. There's one Grey's Anatomies. There's one Grey's Anamies per every doctor's office. And unless you're McDreamy, we don't care about you. I am McDreaming about getting on, Grey's Anatomy, and having all this monies, honies. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, I believe that's a new personal record.

Oh, fuck off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those, too. All right, well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, fuck off. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.