ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - December 3rd 2025

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, Why is the world obsessed with dead celebs genitals? The hair, hair tie Top 6 - Swallowing Heists Hayley's embarrassing hotel moment Tom Sainsbury SLP - Do you use a car sun shade? Carwen's hack  Lewis Capaldi Were your parents a nightmare on Christmas? Hayley v Fletch - Splitwise The boyfriend test Fact of the day Have you read someone's private journal? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZDM Podcast Network This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The Biggest Brands at the lowest prices Welcome to the show Kilda, Kiyoda, you know we're nearly at Christmas 22 days Tomorrow's three weeks away

God, it feels like the 78th of December to me It does feel like the 78 Speaking of Christmas The lovely Tom Sainsbury Joining us before 7 this morning Yeah, promoting the new Well, just to say hi as well But promoting the new dynamotion comedy dance show

They do it every year I was going to say they do every Christmas No, every Christmas Multiple times a year It's very fun Look forward to having him in I believe, excuse me I was quite tired

I believe he Jane Sproul Oh shush More professional No I believe they might have He has some treats for us as well Oh okay

Yeah Would be nice Are the top six is coming up Vaugh Yeah, a man swallowed some jewelry to steal it. I mean, diamonds, you poop them out unscathed. It was like a $30,000, was it a Fabrochet egg type? Yeah, it was a big pendant, necklacey thing. Which I struggle with just a multivitamin.

Really? I have to have a big thing of water. People that raw dog pills blow my mind. I'm like, bleh. I can do like ten at a time. No, I've got a glass of water just to get one pill down. Or the top six dealing with this soon.

Yeah. Not exactly sure how, but just seemed like a funny story. So we'll find a top six in there, so we'll roll with that. Next on the show, though, we must discuss why the world is obsessed with historical figures and their genitals. Yeah.

Because there have been a couple of stories in the last month alone. Yes. Of long dead celebrities or slash infamous figures and their genitals. The Zan podcast. Cast Network. Is this a show real? Play Z-Ns, Fletchhorn and Haley. Well, you know, we talked about this recently. Hitler had a little dick.

Haley. Hitler had a micropanus. I just asked my chat, GVD. Do any celebrities have legendary genital? Hitler's a micropanus or Frank Sinatra's massive hot. Well, this is... This is what we wanted to discuss, that the world at the moment seems to be obsessed with dead celebrities or infamous figures genitals. Like there was, yeah, we spoke about the Hitler micropanus, and that was because they done some, had they done some DNA testing or something or they'd work something

out? Yeah. Yeah. Well people are now, yeah, Frank Sinatra is the new hot topic. Renowned for having a sizable member. Okay. And there's another The dude had swagger. Like I wish. The kind you can only have if you're rocking it. You're rocking it.

So there's another crooner. His name's Paul Anker. If you don't know him, he's Canadian-American old crooner. Isn't he, Paul Anker, isn't he Jason Bateman's father in-law? Couldn't tell you. What's his name? Paul Anker. Children. Amanda. Yeah. His Amanda Ankers...

He's 84. Amanda Anker is Jason Bateman's wife. Oh, there you go. Right. Because he's talked about how I've heard him talk about how his father-in-law's like this legendary croon. Right. Well, he was doing an interview with page 6 and was asked about it for, you know, for some unbeknownst reason. And he was, like, legendary. And then he said, Frank Sinatra may have been skinny,

but 10 pounds of that weight was his. Wow. Which is Wang. Okay. Yeah. Because I saw this on TMZ the other day. You know, like the celebrity Breaking News website? Yeah, yes.

Breaking News. Frank Sinatra has a massive hog. Okay, why are we, they're long dead. What does a chat GPT say? Rasputin, of course. Oh, yeah. The, you know, person that the Boni M songs about... Ra Ra Rha Raspute.

The original Rha Rha Rha, before Lady Gaga had a Rah Rah Rha. Lover of the Russian plane. Rumors of Rasputon's monstrous member were circulating long before his death. A jar in a Paris museum supposedly contains it, but scientists say it's almost certainly a dried C-C-cube cover. Right. Napoleon Bonaparte, of course, French sort of like... Wasn't he like...

Anybody? Pardon me? Wasn't he little? He was a little fellow. Yeah, a little fellow. But I think... That was just a, that was propaganda, right? That was anti-Napoleon propaganda

because at the time people were just smaller. Oh, yeah, he wasn't actually markedly small, right? Compared to everybody else. Rumor claims a priest kept Napoleon's penis after his autopsy and it resembled a piece of leather, a shoelace. It was displayed in the 1970s at a museum in New York. I'm sorry, but... Hard to prove that it's actually, a verify that it's actually a Napoleon's penis.

I'm sorry, a priest kept his penis. Yeah, priest, that's weird. That's weird, dude. What'd you do that for? It is so funny that it's like... Like, take a locker here? Yeah, but I'm less interested in the genitals of alive people. And there's historical figures you are.

Like, it tickled me no end that Hitler, a little dittal. Do you know what? Apparently, the story was sensationalized from a single badly sourced prison doctor's report. Right. From when he spent time in prison before World War II. Okay. That Hitler had a micropanus.

Right. Other modern celebrity rumors, Pete Davidson. became a running stroke that he had BDE. Yes, yeah. Poor little Ariana Grande. She's petite, you know? Liam Neeson. Apparently packing him wilds to hog.

That was Janice Dickinson. She said that, eh? Because she slept with him way back in the day. Right. William Defoe. Yes. Oh, we've seen it. Willem Defoe.

Yeah. He's done lots of, what are those dark films? You know, Antichrist and all that kind of stuff. in nymphomaniac A film that you see it And it is whopping And in some films He's had to use a prosthetic to make it smaller

Yes, that's exactly what it says Yeah It's too big to film They're like, okay We're just gonna have to Like we can't make the If you bring that out Willa people will only talk about that

And not the film That's like the time you went You did the Calvin Klein modelling And they said they couldn't use you Because it was too big Yeah it was too big They were like people They were like

They were like the package Yeah we can't have you In the shop posters and the boxes, you know, looking so... We'll get Benny Blanco in there, instead. Beni Blanco's... His is Calvin Klein, eh? I think so.

I think so. I don't know. No, bad bunnies did Calvin Klein. Sorry, not Benny Blanco. Bad bunny, bad bunny, bad bunny, bad bunny. Two bees. No, bad bunny, um, has Calvin Klein shoot. You love that.

Remember, it was your bookmark for a while. It is. And John Hamme. Pretty nice. John Hamm, apparently. Ham, ham by name, hand by nature. And Jason Derulo. Oh, we've seen it.

Oh, you've seen the photos. He's like getting out of a pool. And the board shorts be... They've clung to the... Well, when they're all dead, they'll have, no doubt, many photos, articles written about them. Yeah, Bad Bunny's a good looking do, day. I just brought up Bad Bunny's Calvin Klein shirt. It's funny too.

Yeah. But you know what I mean? Like, I'm the undies... Okay, well, we have to move on. Those bad bunny dating. Haley? Me. This is, prepare yourself for this creed.

What is a bad bunny and who is he dating? I'm hard launching. Are you a bad bunny? You may have noticed when we've done Sprowling the Prongle. I sort of been dancing around things. Oh my God, you were talking about bad bunny, the Puerto Rico. Handbrake on love. When do we get to meet him?

Well, it's just, it's hard because he's so hot and famous. Right. This is like being in high school and that really hot boyfriend you've got that we still haven't seen. Yeah. Because he works out of town. He's literally getting ready for the next year's Super Bowl. You think we've got a time to meet all my friends? The ZN Podcast Network.

Play ZN's Flashhorn and Haley. Shaparelli, who is a designer loved by... Most famously at the moment, Arianda Grande's, you know, Wicked Dress, everyone's been looking at. The celebs love it. There's Cynthia Arevo and Shaparelli, Naomi Watts, bloody, you know, Sarah Paulson, everybody loves Chaparralia. Big designer.

Big designer. They've made a hair trend go viral. it is and you can only do this if you are blessed with thick long hair so not you oh no my hair is thin wispy little strands

Shannon could Shannon do this too short almost and Shannon's got like the longest hair of us all yeah I think I'd be pushing it yeah so the trick car you've got like the both of you girls could do it with the thickness I reckon but here's the trend is you take your long long here. It has to be like below breast length. And you pull it under your

chin, under the collar of your shirt. If your hair covers your nipples, that's pretty hot. Oh, isn't that where I'm about? Who did it? Or was Alanis who did it? Is that because that looks like Alanis Morrissey? Yeah. Alanis did she had a photo shoot where her hair covered her. It was just her hair was her top.

It's mermaid, eh? Is that why it is? Is it got a little mermaid energy? So you bring the hair down. So you bring the hair down and you would wrap it around your collar like you would a neckerchief. Yeah. And then at the, like at the top button, you start braiding it and you make a hair tie. A tie, like a business tie,

out of your hair. Oh, okay. Isn't that unique? That's actually pretty cool. What's our tape on this? What have they done? What do you mean? You said this was a fashion brand's thing. You can do this on your own. It's the model. They did it on their catwalk. Yeah. And so now everyone's recreating it. Because obviously the girlies

loving a suit moment at the moment. I rock a suit. I love a suit. You know, just chuck a little hair down you. Yeah, I will say this woman is blessed in the locks. Oh, she's got her head down to her bum to her bum and it's thick. Like, you'd have to have a wig

for this. But a tie made out of your own hair, I think it looks so cool. It's kind of cool, yeah. Like, if I did it, we could just get you some extensions. You could do a bow tie? Could you do a bow tie? No.

No. A little ask up. A little tuft. Oh, that's kind of like a, yeah. But now you have no actual hair. And now there's no hair left. You look like one of those guys that's just growing a chin strap to hide his no, too. I do.

I do. A little soul patch. Yeah. Well, if you're blessed with lovely long thick hair, give it a go. The ZDN podcast network. What's going on? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. From the Fletch Vaughan and Haley group chat, this is the top six.

Yes. an Auckland man arrested after swallowing a $33,000 a fabricier locket. This was the Faberjay James Bond octopusy egg pendant. That sounds

yark. It is so garish. It's horrendous. So it's a locket on a necklace. The green egg opens up and there's a gold octopus inside with black. So it's got black diamonds for eyes. It's made of 18 karat yellow gold.

and set with 60 white diamonds and 15 blue sapphires. And somebody's paying $33,000 for that. I don't think anyone is. Do you know, it's so weird. It's so not New Zealand. Yeah. I know the Fabrije eggs, I mean, they're worth like, some of them are like millions. Is that a brand Fabrije?

Yeah. Right. Like, you know, those famous eggs. Russian or French? I always felt it like if it's Russian. Because they look kind of Russian. Yeah, right. But Fabrije feels very French.

Oh, yeah. Fabrije was a Jewish. Jewelery firm founded in 1842 in St. Petersburg, Russia, by Gustav Fabrizier. Well, there you go. What is it with the Russians and hiding things and eggs? Yeah, and they're dull. Like, second. Maybe just very efficient use of space.

I don't know. Gustav's sons, Peter Carl, that's your name, but backwards. Okay. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, right. You're Carl Peter. I'm not Russian, though. Are you, you, no, air to the Fabrizé, fortunately.

Oh, my God, he's been hiding his accent this whole time. I wish I was. I wish I was. I heard it. You'd be dead. I reckon. Oh yeah, but don't... Because you were born in the 1800s. Yeah, that's true.

Peter Carl Fabrizier. Oh, look at this fellow. He died in 1920. In Switzerland. Oh, he went to Switzerland. It was long before my time. It was a couple of years before I was born. Well, this man, he swallowed it, right?

And then the police were called the Auckland City beat team. They're on the beat. That means they're walking around on the beat. They're going to have to go via briskos on the way home to the sales and get a sieve. Yeah, they're going to have to get a sieve, all right. because he has been charged with theft and remain in custody where he appeared in Auckland District Court.

No word whether or not they made him poop into a sieve. I think they made him poop into a sieve. There's no other way to have gone around it. Also, you're not reselling that. They're going to have to write that off, aren't they? That's going to need a big wash in that thing that they put all your ring into

and it vibrates and it's got the stones and stuff and it shakes all the poos out. Oh, yuck. It's going to be some poos around that. So I've got the top six other things that you that actually have been swallowed to be, stolen. Okay. This is real. Well, number six is the original swallowing

heist in ancient Rome. They would, pirates and smugglers would eat pearls and precious stones, swallow them to avoid taxes. Oh, and then poop them out. And then poop them out once they were in. Tax free. Yeah, that's actually how I bring things back from Australia.

Just to avoid the income the tariffs and the taxes, yeah. Up the butt. Or no, in the mouth, out the butt. Oh, sorry, yeah. The long way, the long route. Number five, in 2017, an Irish drug mule was arrested, and he immediately popped the SIM card out of his phone and ate it so that the police couldn't access his contacts.

Oh, okay. The doctor said the sharp edges on that and the fact that it will not break down are going to risk internal tearing. Yeah, right. But then apparently when it came out, couldn't get anything off it. Yeah, because the stomach acids would eat it into it, right? Yeah. In 20...

Number four on the list of the top six things you could swallow to steal, In Sri Lanka in 2016, a trader ate a massive ruby. He wrapped it in cling film and swallowed it. Like, Gladrab? Yeah. Why? Because he thought it would slide in and out easier? Yeah, maybe.

It was a 1,000-carat rough ruby. Wow. So it made a very uncomfortable once it swathed. Would that have been that big? Would it have been in the size of a? 1,000 carrot. Rough ruby. Well, it's a rough.

It's an unrefined rubies. Yeah, right. Oh, I would have given that a polish before. swallowing that. Probably, that's why he wrapped in yogurt. That's actually a great idea. It's a good way to swallow pills. Like a yoghurt, sultana raisin thing. Yeah.

You know that they have in the mues leaves. Oh, yogurt covered raisins. Yeah. A rocky road. Number three on the list of the top six things swallowed to be stolen. There was in 2010 a Brazilian jewelry thief who swallowed 22 diamonds. He grabbed the diamonds and swallowed them. Please caught him due to his bulging cheeks because he couldn't swallow them all.

Probably because he didn't have a drink of water or some yoga. Yeah, yeah. And he was gagging. so he spat some out but then they did an x-ray on him and his stomach was full of diamonds full of diamonds Imagine if you did that

but then some of them just stayed in there Yeah you're all sparkly and rich in your guts Well they need to get them all out So they give you that stuff That you take before a colonoscopy Oh yeah It blows you out And then they send the camera up to grab the last couple

Number two on the list of the top six things Stolen by swallowing An Antwerp Diamond Swallowing gang In 2013 stole 50,000 worth of diamonds and they got they were trying to get them out through Brussels Airport

they were swallowed in latex wrapped packets. Brussels Sprouts Airport Brussels Sprouts yes they say it's full name yes I'm sorry I shortened that to Brussels or Bruss for short Airport security flagged them

because they were behaving nervously and so they were x-rayed and it revealed their stones so police had to hold them at the airport until nature and they pooped them out and number one on the list of the top six things actually are swallowed to be stolen. In 2012, a man

was in a mining museum and he's like, is this a real gold nugget? And they said yes, and then they turned around and then they turned back around and it was gone. And he ate a three ounce gold nugget from a mining museum to hide it from the police. It showed up on the X-ray. Apparently gold

just super vibrant on an X-ray. Oh, really? And yeah, they could see it in the stomach. Funny. And they had to wait for him to poop it out. Imagine poop and gold. Make you feel pretty. It would be nice to look at once it was in the bowl. It would be nice change from carrots and...

Yeah, and just poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's a corn, yeah. So, uh, that is today's sub-sex. The ZM Podcast Network. Play Z-Ns, Fletchhorn and Haley. Went out for dindons, had a hotel stay. Oh, okay.

As I... Just by yourself and what to do. And what to do. I told you before. Me and Bad Bunny are dating. Oh, is it bad bunny? And he was in town. Right.

And he was like, I was going to do an accent, but I reckon no. No, not alone. Okay, not alone. Well, she's pulled a handbrake, hasn't she? No, there's no handbrake being pulled. I just had a lovely romantic evening. She's done a Ui. I haven't done a Ui.

Anyway, so I got to the hotel a bit earlier, and I had lots of small bag. I don't know why I do this constantly. Instead of just packing like a big bag, I packed so many little bags Yeah, because they actually make these things They're quite large You can get them in different sizes

But they can go up to quite large, large Like a case Like a case Because I had a suit and I had stuff And I needed like a case for it But they don't have anything like that So I just had a series of toots Okay, right

I had like five totes And then I like pulled up and I was like Oh my God, perfect They had one of those wheelie trollies Oh yeah yeah yeah The little hotel things. My favourite is when you're going up to your room and someone tries to put that in the lift with you

and you're like, maybe you wait for the next one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's got four directional wheels that don't want to play ball most of the time. Yeah, totally. So I just get this trolley and I was like, this is perfect. I'll put on my little totes on here.

I just need a case for my suits and stuff. But anyway, so there's an invention in there. I just can't think of it. And I put this on this thing, and the concierge comes out. And I was like, oh, okay, so we're not staying at a... Wait, it's not the Ibis. We're not staying at a quest suites in.

No, we weren't at the Chris Sweets. It's very nice. And, um, it was a Norse. And so he comes out and he was like, I'll take that for you. And I was like, oh, my lord. So I hung up my outfit for dinner later. I was on a coat hang. And I hung it up on the little trolley bit and he wheels it off.

And I was like, I don't know where that's going. So I go and I check in. And da-da-da-da-da. And I get up. to my room, I've got no stuff, this all feels quite weird, get up to my room and walk in, and all my stuff sit there. Oh, wow, okay,

yeah, I know, it was like, this is quite nice. Including the birthday cake I had baked, and there's quite a lot of it left and I've got it in my car, we could try it. Yeah, well, because it was carrot. It, I, like, unreal. Did you nail it? I nailed it. You know I love carrot cake. Well, I can go get some

for us, maybe in the break, but I've got to save some of Patsy and Craig. I don't know. I doubt what you're about to tell It's going to be better than cake. I'd just say, we'll just end the break and you go get the cake. We'll just finish it up now. We'll come back next with the rest of Haley's story. Well, no, it's just a little, little tid-back.

Oh, I'll finish your story. Well, you want to do a two-parter. Yeah, I thought we want to do a tour. Nah, can't be bothered. Also, I've got some sort of present it's right. We've got Tom Sainsbury coming in. Stop messing up the show. Oh, yeah, missing up the show.

Jesus. Okay. So I get into the room. You can sometimes. Your father and I went very hard. Don't yell at us. We didn't know. So I get into the room.

all my stuff's there, including the cake, and I was like, this is great. And then I walk around the corner where there's this little wardrobe bit, and he's hung up my outfit, which is when I clock that I forgot, sometimes when I do this in the mornings, when I put together an outfit, I'll also hang the bra and undies that I'm planning on wearing. And I will say it was red, and it was skimpy. This dude works at a hotel. He sees this all the time.

But he had hung it, and I feel like he quite, He'd hung it. He'd hung. No, it was hanging off the coat hanger. Oh, right, okay. But he'd hung, he'd taken the jacket off. Right. And hung that on its own hanger.

So then there was the outfit with the red G-banger. Right. And the thing, I was like, I feel like he's done that intentionally. Right. As you say, he knows what goes on in those roads, for God's sake. Yeah. You just eat carrot cake. Yeah, exactly.

Me, buy myself, me, and bad bunny. Eating carrot cake. B. In a red thong. Plays. Play ZM Flet's One and Haley It is hard to say

It's hard to believe we're But three weeks away from Christmas basically Goodness me 22 days away today And in studio We have a couple of Christmas elves Merry Christmas No I can only do Santa Claus

So Tom and Lara are here from Dynamotion Which is a comedy dance troupe And you guys are doing a Christmas show But are you today Am I wrong in introducing you as Lara and Tom? Or do you want, do you have little alf names? Let's go, Lara, and Tom, because we are actually not the most important elves. We're alf three and four, so there are some elves with names.

You've been out-out-wrant. How many elves are there in total? Because three and four is quite high if there's 100. Well, actually 14 in the show. There's 14. But the thing is, like, we, yeah, there are the speaking owls, and then there are, because it's a dance. Like, we're the backup kind of alves that aren't that important. Oh, why did you do that to yourself, Lara, don't you?

choreograph these? Well, yeah. Actually, I've got a different role in the show and hence the cupcakes we've bought in. I play Ashley, who's a baker and she kind of fulfills the hallmark kind of Christmas movie thread. There's several

threads that we kind of pull together. So she falls in love with the prince that she doesn't know. The prince that comes into a cupcake shop and then there's sort of cute meat and then her tried to... Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's retreat. It's called a Christmas crisis. It's dance, it's theatre, it's Christmas on steroids. If you haven't

seen a dynamotion show before. It is comedy dance but you're also telling a story through it. Great. Yes. We lip sync so we pre-record all the dialogue. So there's lip-syncing there's dancing, there's characters. And this show we kind of take four different tales of Christmas woe.

There's a sort of hallmark story and there's climate change. There's the hallmark story, the love is absolute chaos. And the claws are going through a sort of a messy breakup and um totally and uh and then they sort of all kind of culminate in a and the elves are like been pushed out by T-moon and stuff like that and all so it's so there's a big kind of climax that kind of references a bunch of like christmas but i just want to say it's an hour and a half

plus interval and you we squeeze all of this chaos and i know i've seen a dynamotion show before and they are so chaotic and this just sounds like the next level um i would say so yeah i think so too Yeah. But just for all the listeners, we try, we don't even try our hardest. We work so hard on those dancers. And even if we're not dancers, we go so hard. Tom is a demon. Yes.

I think we've maybe made, well, no, you've made it seem very silly. And, like, maybe perhaps it could be, you know, a bit. Frivolous. Privolous and maybe a not good dance. But it is truly one of the funest shows to see a Dynamoian show. And with a Christmas spirit, I love this. Well, if you want tickets, are you all right? You're choking on the muffin.

If Lara's a cupcake baker in the show, I was going to test it. So she had a baking show. It got cancelled. So she likes to relive her core. Oh, yes. You're experienced at this. So I've just listened to the judging. I'll be like, oh, okay.

Well, let's dive in. That's lovely. I'll just have a little bite on here. Oh, okay. Lovely moisture to that. And I would love to say, the ganache has a slight grain to it, Lara. That's what I'm just getting there. It's, I think maybe you've,

whipped it at the wrong temperature a little bit. I agree with that, actually. Yeah, that's just like, I know, mine did the taste is all there, just the greyness, but other than that lovely muff. The ganache was absolutely melting as we were creating it this morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, delicious. Well, you guys are playing, you open in a week's time on Wednesday,

all the way to the 20th of December. Straight up to Christmas, get in the festive spirit. Where can we get tickets? Are you at, you're at Q Theatre.comod-N-Z. Guys, thank you so much for bringing the festive spirit into the studio and for this delicious. If not a little grainy muffin, Lara. Play, that ends.

Flesh foran and Haley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. What isn't? Use a car shade in summer.

You know those ones that you pop up in your windscreen, so what stops your car, stops the sun making the dashboard hot? It kind of keeps the heat out of the car because of the angle of the windscreen. And sometimes they're like mirrored, they're silver and they reflect the sun's back, so the whole car doesn't get as hot. I mean, they're perfect if you need to park at the beach and you can't park under a tree. I love the sort of gamble of getting in the car at the beach and grabbing the wind. and grabbing the wheel. Oh, if you've got leather seats and the son's been cooking them. Or the seat belts are like red hot and you, if you touch it on your leg.

You can buy them like Repco have them, 20 bucks, 25. Oh, you can buy a Holden one, Vaughn. You'd love that. I'm a Ford ambassador. I'm a Ford. I'm a Ranger. I can't have a Holder. Your dad's a Ford man.

I'm a Ford Ranger. Oh, yeah, that's right. Not a Holden. Holden's a done. Okay, yeah. Holden's a done. I just say how embarrassing that was. It was so embarrassing to know what a.

I'm actually a daywo ambassador. He's a Daihatsu ambassador. We had a Daihatsu growing up. It's a great car. What do you have? I don't know. A Daihatsu. It was blue.

No, it would have been bigger than that. Blue. Terrios. No. Dihatsu has had some funny cars. But no one makes sillier cars than Nissen. Can we all agree that Nissen is the home? Nissen.

Nissen's weird because they do things like the GTR Skyline. Yeah. And then they'll do a cue. And then they do a cue. The Titor. And you're just like, what are you doing this? What we've done is we've made a car that's too cool. So now we're going to have to make a snail car.

They made the S-car guy? I know they did. Goddamness and you are just rogue. Yeah, they really are. They are cheeky, little bigger, aren't they? They do use a car shade in summer. Oh, it's a charade. Mum's just texted Daihatsu charade.

That was an absolute. Because she's listening and she is on the pulse. Good morning, Bev. I think she bought one of that brand because they might have given it away in Wheel of Fortune for a while. That was a Dihatsu Terrios. They loved giving away the Terrios in the 90s. Yeah. 96.96. Does your grandma still drive the tear house?

She won a sale of the century. Or wheel of fortune? No, 96-96. Was your grandma on wheel of fortune? 9696. It was a family member on sale of the century. Oh, what's on a board? 96-96. Do you use a car show in summer?

78% of people said no. 22% said yes. Emma said, I have a Tesla and can remotely call it down. I'm sorry. I will hear no more from the Tesla driver. God, I see, if Elon Musk wasn't such a dick, I would love a Tesla. They're so cool. They are so, like, I've been in some Uber Teslas, and they're so nice. Batman, I will call him, has a flip-flim.

Wow. Hard launch. Hard launch. She stayed in a hotel with Batman. Hard launch! Hard launch! She's ripped a fat Ui on the lover's dead highway. She's pulling off to Loveville.

She's out-launched. He's got a... A polster. The Chinese... It's like, flime. Flim. Flam. Flame. And it's the fanciest thing you'd ever see.

It's got massages in the seats. Oh, no. The Chinese have gone too far. I don't need my gooch touched when I'm driving a hundred and times. Oh, you do. It's nice. It's actually quite like a goodch tickle at a hundred and ten on the White Coatter Expressway. We're bypassing Huntley, you know what that means?

It's like pulsating your butt. You're like, boom, boom. Yeah, it's pretty flash. Yeah. Okay. Matt said, I wish I did it. they're more useful, they're very useful, but a CBF, because where do you put them when you're not using them?

Great point. Yeah. I've never lived anywhere consistently hot enough to think about buying one, but this Perth summer is making it tempting with a high of 39 degrees. I think you'd need to in Perth. Sorry, 568, my sister was on wheel of fortune. Thank you for messaging. What did she win, though?

Did she win? 568, what did she win? Did she win or did she not win? 9-6-9-6, what did she win? What did she win? Ford, did you know that you can turn your Ranger on remotely and cool it? Um, apparently. I even worked it out.

Apparently. Well, apparently. Well, apparently you can. Well, why don't you do look into this? Apparently there's a whole lot of things I can do. Because you drop me home so many times. You could, like, at quarter to nine, we could cool it to nine.

I want to turn around. We could cool the ranger so that I don't feel hot. Okay. He doesn't like big hot. Oh, Google had to remotely cool the ranger. Yeah, thank you. Lucy said, Invercargles, say no more. She wants a year supply of panty-hose.

God, no one of New Zealand television's dying. Yeah, God, prizes like that. Prizes like that. Courtney said, no, I just don't think they work. The car is still going to be hot. Also, I'm also running late, so I don't have... It's very hard to fold. Yeah, it is hard to fold.

It is hard to fold. I think they actually couldn't be easy to fold. They literally come. Is it Concentina? Concertina. Yeah. She's thinking of a map. Yeah, she's thinking of a map.

She's thinking of a map. She's a hard to fold. When you fold it on the wrong folds? What shade were those panty hose, 966, 96, it. Beth, sometimes I am, by the way... Download the Ford app. There's an app.

Oh, for the Ranger. The modern cars. There's always apps. There's an app. But then what is the... Does the Ranger have to be within... You are the worst Ranger ambassador there is.

I'm a brave Ranger ambassador. Didn't they get Ranger about thousand times? Didn't they run you through how to do all this? No, no. Deer was just like, here's the keys, bra. I don't think you were listening. I've got a full run through of the Mazda. Having no one was born for many years, he does not listen. I might have gone more.

wandering. Yeah. Sometimes wish I was organized to have one on a super hot day. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was a second part to silly little pole. We said, if you answered yes to having the sunscreen thing, do you face the pattern in or out?

66% of people execute order 66. Star Wars fans are pattern facing out. Don't bring that shit in here. By the way, this break has been the perfect, like, representation of where my brain's at today. It's on the verge. I feel very grounded. You're grounded.

Mine's about to explode. I'm Linda could die We are 66% of people said the pattern facing out There's responses to that But we simply don't have the time Were you ever on TV in New Zealand

966966? I love that We asked you as a car show in summer And 78% of you said no The ZANN podcast network Play ZDM's Flethorn and Haley Now yesterday

Producer Karwin comes into the studio and says something like we all know what she's talking about. She's got her phone and she's got her, because you're popping off, distriar you, aren't your base? I am, I am. And Daddy Fletch has been helping you with the wise card and the currency and all that.

Yeah, if you want to use my code, let me know. Don't use me. Hey, I'm going to use my code, 966966. Wait, everybody uses Vaughn's code. I've got a code. 96-96, Haley's coach. I asked in the chat and Vaughn replied first to he won. I'd shut them.

I still get people messaging being about my travel sim code. I get $5 every time I give that out. If you were thinking of starting up for a wise message me because Haley doesn't reply on Instagram and Fletcher's busy. I want the wise credit. Well, you're popping off to Australia. I bet it's three people signed up using my code and then put the money on the card and I got $130. What? I know, it's $130.

Oh, 96.96 for my code. Wait, you shouldn't be using this platform for free to... You need to give that back to NZMe. You need to give that to Bobsey. They can pull it from a cold dead hand. He's in a recession, he needs it. So you're going to Australia. Can I ask, is this your first overseas trip with the boyfriend?

Or have you been overseas before? We've been overseas before. Oh, okay. Yeah. But the first romantic getaway. Yeah. Cute. cute

we're going to Lady Gaga really romantic it's just you little cute intimate concert I kind of regret not getting tickets to that now because it's going to be amazing Are you going to Lady Gaga

9669696 Did you win a prize On the sale of the century Okay I will give you $100 right now If you can prove you're on wheel of fortune And you're going to Lady Gaga this weekend I'll give you $100 Okay no one's texting in for our codes

But someone 9669696 Is born on meth No, Vaughan's on the verge of a menthol breakdown. Menthol breakdown. So hang on, so Carwin's going to Australia. You'll be getting your finances in line with your wires card. And then you walked into the studio yesterday and said, isn't it great how the calculator on the iPhone has the automatic conversion?

Yes. And I was like, you are what? Yeah, what now? You're cutting. Here I am using that foreign exchange app. XE. XE. Yes.

I've had that for years. Like an old boomer. Now listen, if you. are listening to this as a listener and going, they've already talked about this. I know, because I've already told you three this, and I'm pretty sure we talked about it on yet. I don't have an excellent single week.

I get up at four o'clock in the morning. Yeah, my brain's flying. Did we mention this when it happened? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. So message on 96, 96, 96. Did we talk about this already? 96-96. No, okay.

But I will explain it again. So you go into your calculator. I'm on. This is iPhone. I assume Samsung and all of those. No, no, we know. 96-96, are you on. no, on a Samsung.

96, 96, did you have this on Samsung eight years ago before iPhone? So you go into your calculator and it's just the normal calculator. You go up to the right hand corner and there's a picture of a calculator. Yep, calculator and calculator. It's very meta. And then it has basic, scientific, math notes and convert. And right now I've put it to... Oh my God.

Oh my God. You're acquiring pesos. That's where I want to know. So you can do any of the currencies. And I'm guessing it just uses like whatever the latest rate is Google rate. Yeah, it won't be like 100. 100% acre, but it's pretty good. Oh, my God, you can convert space, area.

Do you know how many times? Like, you know when you're baking, you need to convert pounds and stuff into, oh my God. All of that. Everything. Gigabyte. Tower. Energy. Stop.

Fuel. Force. It's not just money. No, it's not just money. I use it lots for figuring out food. 96.96. Have you converted? From a faith or from anything?

Anything. Have you converted? Time so you could go second. to hours. Angle. You can convert angle. How many seconds are in a thousand hours? Yeah, yes.

And also, I will say a side note to this hack. On the left hand side, there's a little clock. That will show you all of the previous convert, like things that you've already done. The conversion. History of sorts. History of sorts. Before on your question,

3,600,000 seconds in a thousand hours. Wow. 96, 96. How would you spend a thousand hours? Can everyone stop texting in that this is a better hack than I do? This isn't a hack, this is a function of a phone. Carwin's hack, Cowan's hack that you'll actually use. No, too, too, early in the morning, when Shannon's hacks are boring.

Carwin comes in with a five-star hack. Play Z-N's Fleshhorn and Haley. George's in? You probably didn't realize this, but it's so good you just played a Lewis Capaldi song. that's great how time he wouldn't have noticed that he's done this but I'll make the connection here because we're actually going to talk about Lewis Capaldi right now I know I'm crazy 9-6-96 what's your biggest coincidence so far today Georgia was like something I'm doing my show

oh man guys how good was it last night oh he just he just oozes everything he's funny too isn't he but he stood up so he came out and he sung three songs and then he stood there and everyone was like wow and then everyone laughed and he didn't say anything at this point and then he goes well hello and then everyone laughed and I was like the dude could say anything anything and we're going to love it

yeah he's very funny he's so good and his voice he's got Rizz he's the Rizzing us it could be the Scotsman in it though it's the accent it's the accent and just everyone was because he talked a lot about how he took time off like mental health and stuff and people it's important to work through it's just important to keep on working

when your mental health's in the in the gully you just keep pushing yourself 96-9-6-9-6 how's your mental house has your mental health 9-6-96 if you push yourself a little too far 9-6-96 does your mom call you every day to make sure you're okay 9-6-9-6-9-6 did your mum move in with you to make sure you're okay 9-6-96 9-6 6 because his voice is a amazing live like he's one of those people that you know doesn't disappoint when you see them

live it's almost better yeah yeah actually legit it's so much better but you can tell because the spark arena what 10 30 normal wrap up yeah I think most most things have to be finished by 11 there yeah he was like solid 10 past 10 and it makes me go like maybe he's just set

limits to his because obviously you can't handle you can't keep going forever yeah and he but like no everyone just loved him and wanted to look out for him and the craziest thing was this is also the kind of humor he's got. He talked a lot about his mental health and how hard it was and how this new EP he's given

is all about that. And someone's like, wow! And he's like, yeah, whoa! Low mental health guys, love it. Whoa! He just honestly owned it and like his voice is next level. Finishing with the whole crowd singing

someone you loved and he didn't even have to say anything. Oh, nice. It was phenomenal. I don't like that. I'm paying to see him sing it. No, I know that's kind of the thing now because remember when he couldn't finish the song and then the audience finished it

And then he went back to, where was that? Glug Glastonbury. And then the audience did it again, so that's like his thing. Yeah. Sold out, he'll be back, guys, he'll be back, I swear. It was unreal. Wait, wait, you're swearing on someone else's behalf. 9-6-96, is that insane behaviour?

9-6, where did Georgia to get the audacity? No, no, 696, have you ever seen such audacity? Next time on the show, we actually do want a 9-6-9-6-you and ask about your parents. Better than 6-9-69 you. Oh, speak of the devil, mum's ringing. Oh, she's checking in. She's checking in.

Can you answer it now and tell her that we're on air. Yeah, but we're on ear. Put it on speaker, please. Hey, mum, just by the way, I'm on air with Fitchward and Haley. Hi, Mom. I'm just trying to see how you are today, me. Okay. 9-6-9-6.

I think you were feeling better. I know last night was just an awesome experience for you. Awful, I mean to say, experience for you. I understand and I'm here for you. Thank you, Mum. She's checking. And I told they love Lewis and I told them it was an awful night.

So that's why she's checking in. Oh, so you said, it was terrible. You wouldn't have missed it. Oh, hang on. Georgia's doing sarcasm. Famously, Georgia can't be sarcasm. Mom, I've got to go. I'm actually busy.

Love you. Love you, Mom. 9-6, 9-6. 9-6. When did you last hang up on your parents? No, genuinely, though, we are going to talk about your parents. And if they were a nightmare on Christmas,

The Fletchborn and Haley Big Pod Listen we talked about this the other day People, experts were chiming in on How Much Time is Too Much Time This Christmas It's been with your family And ways to sort of escape and get away Another article that tickled me a lot

Is phrases not to use Therapies phrases not to use On your parents this Christmas Unless you want to riot Phrases like Mum, I am protecting my peace Which famous any of these will go down great with boomers.

Basically, it's phrases that we modern people have learned from being a little bit more aware or having therapy. God, my therapist is going to get a doozy today. Virginia, buckle in. 9669696. Virginia, are you ready?

966, does anybody else need to... You should take one. You just do a double. Actually, we should love to catch up. Couples. Cute. So basically, if you're using these therapy phrases, against your boom of parents who don't understand this way of thinking, you're going to alienate them, you're going to make them feel, you know, attacked, and then that's when they get all, well, I won't take anything at all.

Have you seen the real, it had hundreds of thousands of likes of, like, phrases you'll hear from your emotionally immature appearance this festival season? Amazing. So the ones that we need to avoid, I'm protecting my peace, instead say something like, oh, my said, I need to calm down, can we talk later? Just a bit more basic. Don't call your parents emotionally immature. I mean, I wouldn't dare because my mum's not above a whack.

Yeah, totally. Instead, you know, I find it hard to talk about emotions between us. Can we try a different approach? You're gas-sliding me. Gas-lamping. Gas-lamping. Remember? You remember it wrong? Did I?

You remember it wrong. Are you sure? Because you're a little bit crazy. 9-6-9-6. Am I? 9-6-9-6. Tell Haley it's always been called gas-lamping. 9-6-9-6, it's always been called.

gas-lamping, right, guys, guys, remember? Haley's crazy, she's remembering it wrong. I've had this wrong. You don't use these phrases, but I need to set boundaries, you know, just, it's just going to make them... Just, I need a little bit of time. I need a bit of space. Yeah. But I want to know, with this

period ahead of Christmas, when were your parents a nightmare on Christmas? And maybe it was a tantrum. Maybe it was this whole, you know, when mum... Maybe the Christmas date has got a bit much for mum. Got a bit much for mum. Because moms do everything. We've all seen the beer. Yeah.

You know, that episode of the beer. I'm going to watch it again. I can't. My anxiety can't handle it. I know. Sometimes I'm just bathing in anxiety. Oh, God, it's awful. It's like an anxiety shower.

But you know, like, it's like Christmas, the tension, the pressure. Oh, and maybe like there's added guests at Christmas. Like, you know, someone's bringing a new partner and mum isn't happy or the parents are. Oh, I love it. Yes. Okay, so these are the stories we want to hear this morning. Oh, 800, Diles at M. 966, text in.

When were your parents? a nightmare on Christmas. When were your parents a nightmare on Christmas? Therapists have given the phrases that we sort of millennials and zennials shouldn't use, you know, to trigger our parents. Yeah, they're very triggering. Even words like triggering.

We shouldn't use around our parents because we're therapeutizing them. Anonymous, Joins us. Good morning. Anonymous. What happened with the parents at Christmas? Is this me? That is you, Anonymous.

My mom got drunk. Um, shat yourself. Wait a minute. You just can't skip over shitting yourself. We're going to stop you there, Anonymous. What time of the day did mum shit her pants? 9-6-19-6. Lunch time.

How did she get that boozed by lunchtime? Shitting your pants is this is sort of a late afternoon activity. I'm a booze. I've never been so boozed. I shat myself. Yeah. This is like she was in her sense. 70s

in a little bit more lenient Wait a minute Too many more Breakfast brandies or something Like what No I just I don't know

She was just enjoying Christmas Okay yeah right I enjoy Christmas Every year There's never been Shitting my pants My lunchtime So wait

Mum's on the Terps She shits her pants At lunch time At lunchtime And then what happens To the day? She So I've gone

And traked you down In the bathroom And she's got in the shower and then I'm trying to deal with her clothes and ask you where her undies wear

and she had flushed and down the toilet it's not one of the peas it's not one of the peas that you can flush panties oh panties okay she got you there watch you there oh my God I know you're never going to forget that

Christmas are you anonymous no I've not hosted since then I'm going to say you both sounds of it you were hosting it puts you off doesn't it anonymous thank you some messages in although I think we made The bar is high. Can you go back to Anonymous?

Yes, Anonymous. Would you like a Rock Quest band name calendar? Oh, you want one of our calendars? Oh, I would love one. Okay, we'll send you out one of the Fletchhorn and Haley 2026 calendars. Double thumbs up from the producers. Which are all of the Rock Quest band names for the year. We'll send that out.

Maybe get one for Mom. I don't know if that's going to help at all. Some messages in? The mother-in-law is currently trying to ruin Christmas because she isn't hosting and thinks no one else is capable of hosting it like she does. she's doing everything she came to sabotage it. Well, just enjoy it. It's like, put your feet up.

It's at someone else's house. My mother-in-law got drunk at dinner and told my husband to leave me because I was going to take all of his money. This was four years in at this point. We'd been together for ten more. Married, a house, a kid. And I make more money than him.

Oh, wow. Okay, so the tables have turned. Mother-in-law, you should leave her. But then four years in, she would have got half of it anyway. Yeah. Last Christmas, Mom was cracking the shit's a dad about how unhelpful he was being.

At that point, to the point that dad took mum into the hallway to have a conversation. My husband and I now take the piss out of this. And always ask each other if something needs to be a hallway conversation. Oh, okay. Can I just talk to you in the hallway for a second? You guys will be in there in a second. Do not. I do.

I will lose it with you. Those raised hush tones. Yes. So good. I can hear you. Shush. And if you've just joined us, you missed the first story we opened with, which is mum got drunk, not my mum, the callers,

mum got drunk, shadow pants and flushed her underwear down the toilet. All by lunchtime. So, that's good. My ex calls my mum the Christmas Nazi due to her strict adherence to the rules of Christmas. The rules of Christmas. Otherwise known as Traditions and Merriment. Okay. Took a family holiday to Dubai.

My two brothers' parents and myself on Christmas Eve, my parents decided to get divorced. Shit, it was awkward for the rest of the holidays. Oh, my God. It's all good, though, needed to happen. Yeah, but wait until you get back. You went to divorce? I don't know, maybe it's just the scale of the Birch-Khalifa

that made you realize that your life's too short, that marriage isn't for you. What did you think when you saw the Birch-Kleaf, 9-6, 9-6. No, I've never seen it with my own eyes. Haven't you? No. Oh, Vaugh-N-N-Ave. A sight to behold.

Yeah, we've gone up there, haven't we? I wouldn't. I know it's horrible. I can't even go to SkyTower. Even thinking about it now, I'll get a little bit. 96, 96, what's the tallest building you've been up? SkyTower. Mine would be the Skytower.

Yeah, that would be it. That's embarrassing. It's little. Yeah. No, it's big. Is the Sydney one taller than ours? No. Okay, yes, Auckland Skytower.

Okay, yeah. 96, 96, can you beat me? Have you been higher than me? I've been in a plane. 96, 96. Where are you right now? Yeah, where are you right now? Just 96, 96.

People are saying, you really need to get to therapy. Guys, I'm just going to get to 3 o'clock and I'll be in the therapist office. Could I, could you, we'll find a long trench coat and you sit on my shoulders and we'll go to therapy as one person and I'll say your problems with my own. And I'll whisper you my problems

to repeat to the therapist. Just come in, she knows you. My parents told us that we're getting a divorce on boxing day because I didn't want to roll. Georgia is just sitting in the cup chair wondering what is going on. This is a bit of a cluster F. So that is sort of a cut chair of sore.

Yeah, it is. You're watching two people just... Spiral. It is man-care. We're female. My parents decided to get a divorce on Boxing Day because they didn't want to ruin Christmas. That was in 1996.

I'm all good now, I think. I think I'm all good. Text 9-6-96, tell me I'm okay. That's what they said. They're in. 9-6, is that person okay? Maybe there's a 4 o'clock follow-up after Haley's therapy. Yeah, maybe.

Oh, yeah, I'll show jump back on with Brian Clinton. Tell me about that Boxing Day Christmas. Yeah. That's in 1997. It was in 1996, which is quite similar to 9-6-96. which is our text number. My dad watches TV programs at two times the speed when I go to visit.

I actually got used to it. When I got home, going back to normal speed, it was just horrible. No, I'm sorry, that's a nightmare. Yeah, that's not on. It's like I listen to podcasts at 1.2. Yeah, I think that's a good speed. But then if you accidentally put it back to one speed

and you listen to your regular podcast list and you're like, come on. Come on, man. Spit it out. Why he's talking so slow? We talk quite fast as a trio and as New Zealanders and we've been told, like a lot of people listen to their podcast on 1.2, but not us.

Yeah. And get our podcast on the I-Heart Radio app wherever you go. You can take us with you. Catch up. What did you call it? Did you call it the I-Hart app or I-Hart Radio? Oh, I said I-Hart radio.

Reverse. Yep. Yep. It changed its name. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. It's just I-Hart. Media. Yeah, it's HBO Max now. I'm disassociating on my bed.

We've changed. We've pivoted now. Where are you right now? 966. but I'm not going to delve back here. My grandad said himself on fire getting the barbecue going on Christmas. Oh, okay, that's fantastic.

We've had a full sweep. I'm at work. The highest I've been is the Skytower. I've never seen the Birch Kleefer, and I think he is okay. You think that person's okay, 9-6-19-6-6. I believe Grandpa on fire joins us. Good morning, Grandpa on fire.

Good morning. How are you? Good now. How did Grandpa catch on fire on Christmas? So Grandpa wanted to get the barbecue going because he was getting impatient, and it was a cold barbecue. So his genius idea was Iso-purple alcohol.

Oh, Jesus. So he opened the bottle and tried to pour it over the head cold, so it caught fire, so his hand caught on fire. He's fine. He's fine now. Also, shouldn't you be mixing that with food? No, I would have isolated spirits. No, yeah, okay.

That was grandma's only concerned. Did the meat go anywhere near the isopriple? No, okay. we're five. Yeah, okay, good. And was the meat good? Well, if he was great. Yeah, great.

Maybe it was a trick. Did Grandpa have to go to A&E or the hospital that day or no? Yeah, he did. But the rest of us had a dinner. Okay, well, you just sent him without, you didn't go with him. You just sent him to hospital. Well, we sent him with one of my uncles, and the rest of us literally just had dinner. Oh, yeah, I'm not really, that would ruin Christmas.

You got a charming and whimsical voice. You do. I would love to. I would love to hear a story from you. Yeah, me too. Like a lighthearted. story. Have you ever seen the Bej Khalifa with your own eyes? I actually

have. And what did you think? Yes, it's big. It's a big. It's hard to get it in a photo and it's hard to get in a photo. And where are you right now? I am driving to Albany right now. Albany. That's how it's called Albany. He says Albany. He tries to make it poshia. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Caller. Appreciate

that. Someone said the highest of been last night was last night on a new brownie recipe, 9-6-9-6 for recipe. Yep, 9-6-9-6. Thank you. Would you like a Fletcherhorn and Haley Rockquest band names calendar? Oh, why not? Okay, fantastic.

We'll pop you on hold and sort that out. Lovely. Anything to finish up, Vaughn, before we go into the break? Oh, gosh. Someone's got our therapist. Someone's figured out my therapist. Are you seeing this person? Because if so, I would give that woman an organ if she needed it.

Absolute Queen. 10 out of 10, no notes text 96-9-6 if I'm unhealthily reliant on my therapist too. 9-6-96-9-6-9-6-9-6. 9-1-6-9-6. So, it was in Bethlehem. They haven't seen the Burge-Kalifa and the highest they've been to Skytower, 9-6-6-6.

Right. Are you non-religious and living in Bethlehem? 9-6-6. Because that would be funny. An atheist in Bethlehem, 9-6-6. Are you an atheist in Bethlehem, 9-6-6-6? Are you of Mexican descent, so your name is Hasis, and you live in Bethlehem, but you're not religious 9-6-6-6-6-6. We'll send you a calendar.

I'll send you a calendar if you took all the boxes. Yeah, that's a prize. When we come back, we are going to discuss. I'm not coming back. You are? When you're contractually obliged. No, you can't come back if you never leave. I'm just going to be talking through the ads.

I'll be live reacting to the ads. Oh, I'll say things like this. Oh, really? Sales 30% off. Oh, that's a good deal. That sounds good. What a bargain. When we come back, Haley and I do discuss our split-wise

because she's wanting to charge me. Hear that? She's got a receipt I've got a receipt And we're at some kind of a standoff We are The Z&Cast Network Play ZM's Fletch

Forne and Haley A while back Fletch We were planning our holiday for next year We're getting a head We're popping off Over the seas

And at that time That the flights were on sale Are I coming on that one? No You've used up your free trip Guys but I'm still sack No sorry We'll do something small

on Labor weekend next weekend But it hasn't sorted it out. For the listener behind the scenes, it's become quite a running joke that when Vaud and I, when Haley and I is surprised Worn with a trip to Bali, now every day, Vaughan says, guys, I'm sad, take me somewhere. I just get you still pepper them. I'm feeling a little bit like I could do with a little Rarotonga.

And he uses that cute voice and it's hard to say no. It is half-s-a-a-a-gued-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-grat-a-grat-a-grat-a-grat-a-fing-a-chran to try to be not safe. Well, no, you're not coming on this one unless you pay for it yourself. Fix me. We'll take you to Fung-Fung-e. Take you to Fungere in March or something like that and that'll do. That's me.

Anyway, Bali, you've got to go by the way, Bali. We had a trip recently and we use split-wise, which is an amazing app if you don't know what it is. All your friends sign up and if you go away for a trip or a weekend, say I paid for dinner, you paid for lunch or an activity. I'll get this, you get that. At the end of the trip, it divvies it all up. You log it all into the app and then it kind of says

at the end of this, you ended up paying this amount more. also that he owes you that. And dinners as well, you could do like, oh, I didn't eat as much. I'll just pay like, you know, slightly less. So you can, as long as it equals 100%. Don't do that. Oh, we don't do that. No, you can if some people don't do that.

Anyway. So we had the split-wise going and it had my bigger amount that you'd afforded for the flights that I owed you. And then we're all like, let's get split-wise going because I'll pay for more things when we're in Bali to help deduct some of that. There's still a little bit of money, Owing. And that's fine. I'll get it back.

Yeah, you will. But yesterday, I did notice because I asked Haley, she said, I'm going to MIT a 10. And I said, oh my God, perfect. I need a tiny little plastic hose connector. He wanted, where he requested a 13mm barb joiner. Yeah. Now, that's the one that you slide the pipes in,

you clamp them. Yep, clamp it. And so, to my amazement, I get a notification on split-wise, Haley Sproul has paid you $1.69. $1.69. You are clawing back. This is not an amount. I bought you coffee yesterday.

And I didn't put that in this split-wise. Coffees don't count. Coffes don't count. I'm happy to start logging the coffees, Fletch. There's $6 something. I'm happy to start logging the coffees. I did the mats in my head of we owe about a thousand coffees. I know.

Haley does buy a lot more coffees. I'm having it out. Well, actually, I think if you scroll down, there's two transactions I've popped in there. There's another one for $1.99. Now, you owe me that Because this little joiner, plastic, $1.69, that's gone in the split-wise, so that comes off of what I owe you.

But to me, it looked so slim. And I don't know what you're using it for, but then I saw another one that was a 19mm and that was $1.99. I know, but I got it for you anyway. Yeah, but I don't need this one. Yeah, but imagine if you did. Imagine Fletch, if you did, and you go home with your little joiner

and you're like, oh, it's too tight. Thank God, one of my greatest friends got me the biggest size. Okay, well now I've got a joiner I don't need. I'll have it. 9-6-96. Do you need a 19-mill? That's actually a great. Plastic joiner. Yeah. This is a garden irrigation though. Is this going to work for my dishwasher hose? Yeah, so you put, you've got a clamp, right?

Yeah. Slide that back up the hose. Yeah, yeah. Put that back up the hose. Now, why have you also got thread tape? Well, I didn't know if I needed that, but there's no thread. So, I just put the thread tape on the split-wise. Because he, I was there when he asked for thread tape. That, thread tape. That was $0.92.

It's going in. So what you do, you go settle up and I pay you 0.92. I've paid that. This could get quite nasty because you're going to start charging me kilometres every time you drop me off. What is the current clamable per kilometre with the IAD? I don't know. My accountant takes care of it. It's quite high. Yeah. Quite a lot. You got a logbook?

I'm cute. I shouldn't be charged kilometers. You're cute. You're not getting free rides. You're not getting another free trip. I'm sorry. Time's up on my generosity. We're really clamping down, aren't we? Well, that's $4 I've just claimed back from you. You're slowly chipping away.

The Daneskast Network. The questions, the exam, the boyfriend exam. Vaughn and I have got a note paper and pen. Should we use it? I just think it's going to help you visually with these questions. But if you're listening and you're in your car, just play along and use your mental notepad. Don't bring in a

notepad while you're driving, please. But text in your answer, 9-6-9-6. We're taking a lot on the text machine today, but now I want you to play along this boyfriend exam. What's the date today? It's the 3rd of December. Why are you dating it? Well, does that make me a good boyfriend?

I don't know. I put my name and I put the date. It's actually itked me a bit. Yeah. It actually did you put in the date? Itchoo. Yeah. What do you some kind of baby?

Bad Bunny wouldn't write the date on the top. My man. Did it. Bad Bunny would, but he put the month before the date. If you just joined us, 9696, I stayed in a hotel last night with Bad Bunny. at me, I see you about what,

anyway, probably inappropriate to say. Any carry on. We're merging what we have off here and on ear today on the show

and it's dangerous and it's spicy. So the study shows the smarter a man is the more likely is to be committed, faithful and a respectful boyfriend.

It's a specific type of intelligence that leads to this. So the people that passed this test had higher score on this test, more committed,

more faithful, less likely to insult you, less likely to desire power or dominance of the bad kind, less likely to coerce partners sexually, less likely to use manipulative tactics in the relationship. Higher intelligence also linked to lower erectile dysfunction and lower psychopathy traits.

This sounds like a bunch of academics that are studied to try to make themselves sound like better boyfriends. Kind of. Doesn't it? If you're smart like us. Okay. So yes. So here is, here's the boyfriend exam, three steps.

Okay. Question one. What comes next? Here's a sequence. D4, F6, H8, what comes next? Wait, this is actually a test test. Because it's going to show a particular type of intelligence. Oh, well, I'm not already going to fail.

D4, F6, H8. What comes next? Okay. Do you want to give your answer or you could do it at the end? Do it at the end. Your second question, what comes next? Just three sequences. Okay.

6F, 12I. Wait, oh, we're doing another sequence. I don't like this. I don't like this. Use your brain. Whenever I do these online, they're like, ah, it's not bad. You know, I'm like, what?

6F, here's a question number two. 6F, 12I, 24L, what comes next? Wait, this isn't even asking how big your wang is. Yeah, that's the third question. Okay. Wait, what was that? 6F, 12. 12I, 24L, what comes next?

Oh, what comes next? what comes next. Yeah. You can figure it out. I can. Okay. Oh, good boy. Third question.

It's another sequence, but I'm changing it slightly because I'm also a scientist. Wang size. Just write down your wang size. And we'll come to the answers. I go up to the top of the label on the back of the shampoo bottle. Those mini ones. What shampoo though? Yeah.

Head and two and shoulders. Okay. Okay. Question number one, what was your answer? What was the third one? Do you want to do the third one? Yeah, they're just a third one. Okay, 2W, 40.

I'm not dating anyone that's this much of a nerd. I'll tell you that right now. 7Q. Georgia, you're with me, eh, Georgia? You want someone that knows what leave it comes next? Or do you want a big, burly Southland man to absolutely mow your lawn? 2W, 2W, 4T, 7Q, 11N, what comes next. Yeah.

I don't even care. Well, then you're a bad boyfriend. I am, I'm going to tell you that right now. Here we go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Your time, that's a hard one. Ends. I don't know the number. We have to.

Go, what are the answers? Okay. What did you have the answer for question number one? J-10? Yep. Good boyfriend. I'm a good boyfriend. Four?

I had J-10, I had J-T-T, good boyfriend. Next one? Question two, what did you have? O-4-8. Like, O, the letter, and then 48 for the number. But, babe, it went number than letter, so you've actually made You've done that wrong. I'm at 48.

Did you have 48-0? Yep. Oh no. Good boyfriend. Yeah. Your bad boyfriend, because you suddenly switched if it was number or not. Okay, what did you have for the last one? Actually, I didn't do it because I lost interest.

I lost interest. But I've got two out of three. 16K is the answer. No, I had L. I had 16 L. Oh, my God. Also, it's, you're trying and you're failing. Yeah.

It's kind of embarrassing. Kind of, kind of represents my life. Trying and failing Boy, he tries Do we get an answer on wang size We're just going to keep that off here We keep that off here All right so you're to the top of the label of a head and shoulders

Top of the label of a head and shoulders Hidden shoulders From the bone Play ZM's Flesh for it and Haley Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day day day Yeah

Do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Dude, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-l. Beautiful. Actually, and what you didn't see behind the scenes there is Fletch conducted that, with the finesse of someone who knew what they were doing, and then he did the zip.

With my pencil, and you guys, that was incredible to... We followed you. We were wielding unruly amounts of power. Well, it's vandalism week here at Factor the Day. We learned that the word vandal comes from a Germanic tribe that were blamed for sacking Rome, which I think might be the high point of the week, to be honest.

Right. So you're sad and strong ending week. Interesting. Classic. Today's fact is about punishment and vandalism and graffiti rules around the world. Different countries. Different countries. What do you get here?

Buddy slap on the... Mike, I'm calling about vandalism. Mike, they get a slap on the wrist with a week. They don't learn any lessons whatsoever. I say they should be shot. Shot publicly. Yeah. News Talk Z.B.

What's their number? I don't know, but we all. Always get me a 10. It must be easy. It's a 9292. Oh, yeah. It doesn't roll off the tongue like 96-96. No.

You got the dud text chain. Yeah. In the United Kingdom, you get fined if you don't clean up. Say you own a house, a shop, a fence, and it gets graffitied, and you don't clean it up. You get the fine as the fence owner. Yes. Because you have to remove the graffiti ads. It's on you to remove the graffiti.

I kind of like that because there is no, for a fence. a business. Oh, is that a... Give it a ring. There you go. One person, Bell. Um... Brown skin, white skin, white skin.

White skin blonde hair. White skin blonde hair. Not our usual. Okay. Not our usual. It's important to dip it up. Okay, sorry, we'll be getting back to... You'll get the punishment in the UK if you leave

graffiti on your property. Yes. But I kind of like that because then otherwise it stays up. There's no... Who's going to run over? But what about the vigilantey stopping people graffeting, like... Do like, you know, people come out and they catch you the friend and that's my property and then it go a bit crazy.

I mean, that happens here anyway. So do you have the New Zealand punishment? No, I've got it. It's not. In New Zealand, the punishment for graffiti vandalism is a community-based sentence, a fine of up to $2,000 or both. But then if you're also trespassing or you damage property, that could be also maybe make it worse. Bundle it up. Yeah.

Bundle it up. In Iceland, scratching or kicking moss on volcanic fields is met with a hefty fine. It is considered environmental vandalism and it takes centuries for the moss to grow back so you're not even allowed to walk on the moss. Pretty sure our friend Dr. Shawney kicked some moss in Iceland when he was there. He was here. He just wouldn't have. He wouldn't have. No, I'm pretty sure he had his boots and he kicked his moths. I actually have to reply to him. Why? What have you, what have you not done? He sent me a video of his garden and because he loves. He keeps it nice. God, he grows a tomato. He's not doing as much fruit and veg. He's not

doing vegetables. He's not doing flowers. He had a courier come round and he saw on his security camera The career picked a little punitive tomatoes. Did he? Helped himself. Helped himself. He had so many tomatoes. He didn't know what to do with them in the end. He was jarring them.

In Singapore, if you were caught vandalizing. Oh, they're very serious in Singapore. They've banned chewing gum for decades. He is, yes, yes, he is. Jail time, and when you're in jail time, strokes with the cane. Hot. Far out.

Yeah. Where are you hitting me? And can you just grab me? Yeah. Is it all right? turn back and look at you? Can you eyeball me as you stroke me with the gun in?

And maybe wrap an arm around here. I'm like, I'm really... Can you just hold onto your forearm? I'm ready to go. Anyway, the strictest vandalism case was for someone spray painted a train and got some lashions. I kind of feel like we should bring that in here

because, like, have you seen when they vandalized a train? It looks horrible. It's so scary. The well vandalized train, the proper graffiti trains look cool. Yeah, but just not the messy-ass scribbles. In Japan, if you're not of a Japanese national and you're caught doing anything that can be...

You are immediately deported. Oh, yeah. You're at home. Immediately. In Italy, they find people for sitting on fountains, not vandal, just sitting on them because these things are so old and crumbly. Yes, very crumbling.

I have not been to Italy, but it gives crumbled. Everything is crumbled. Everything is crumbling. Everything is crumbling. How high a city's crumble, walls crumbling, buildings crumble. So you're not allowed to touch them. I need to get some bloody new builds in there. Get a few more G.J.

Gardners, you know? Do you know? Oh, I'd love to see it. Aji, a garna. In New Zealand, if you're caught selling a spray can to an under 18, you get a $1,500 fine. Yeah, that's why, like, at minor 10 in the warehouse, it's all behind the locks and you've got to a show ID. I thought that, okay, yeah, right. It's because they could huff it.

Yeah. Huff it or Vandal. They're not doing art. And in Spain, you can be charged with vandalism if you dance too hard. Some street performers were dancing on a historic bench doing their flamenco. And the vibrations call structural risk. So you're not allowed to dance too hard. What are you dancing too hard?

I give you kisses. Oh, you want some kisses, baby? You're also kisses, baby. I got to go to work, but I give you kisses. So last time you listen to my voice notes. Anyway. we are all saying too much i didn't know this came from a voice note yeah that's why we were taking the case i gotta go to work we give your kisses i want to give your kisses

oh you want to give you kiss i gotta go to work fact of the day uh today's fact of the day is uh no take your pick vandalism laws around the world fact of the day day day day day day day Do-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-T-D-D-T-E-T-T-E-N-T-E-N-E-N-W. The Z-M-M-KKK-MZ-M-E-T-M-E. I've discovered something. Has someone read yours? Has someone read yours? There is a woman who has just won $80,000.

I've translated that. Trans, you've converted I've converted that into New Zealand. For unfair dismissal after she was left traumatised when a male colleague that she was romantically involved in

snooped her private journal. And so she took it up the bloody you know, employment tribunal I guess. Whatever their version is. Yeah, okay, right. And she's won. She won the case.

Amazing that people still have diaries or journals? I, do you know, I had a little panic the other day because when I started back at therapy last year, I was encouraged to do some journaling. It was very good for you. Oh, and you lost it? And I had it in a,

have you been paying attention journal that we used to get? Oh, yeah. That was so nice. And then the other day I got, I was, and I stopped, you know, I wrote like 10 pages and I'm so bored by that. Yeah, because your life is, like, you bored yourself with your own life and problems. Nothing boring about my life.

Nothing boring about my life. life. Georgia laughed way too hard at that. Does Georgia want to punch in the face? Because I'll punch you and then I'll write about it in my journal. So I came home yesterday, like a couple of days ago. I don't journal. So I'll need to punch you in the face and get some blood droplets into straight into the picture before it dries.

Anyway, I came home the other day and my mom was doing some planning and I have you been paying attention book? And I was like, um, where'd you find that? But it was a different one. It was a clean one. Oh, okay. Because had you written about your mom? No, I hadn't written about my mom, but it was a big.

feelings in there. You know, big feelings. Maybe have that under lock and key or in a safe place. To give you an idea of the feelings, it was sort of end of last year, top of this year. Okay. So big feelings. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah, this person has won the case because this...

Could you put in an update today, maybe? There would be things to update today. Would the feelings be bigger or on par? I've had some big feelings today. I've had some big feelings today. I cried. I got the giggles. And now I'm sort of shocked. Euphoric. I am. I'm euphoric.

And happy to be. here with my genuine friends. Maybe though this was when you were a teenager, because that's when kind of everyone journaled, right? 100%. And I will say my mum, my mum did read my journal once when I was a bit gothy.

Oh, what did she find out? She thought that I was maybe a bit depressed and she read my journal, but I was just gothy. You know what I mean? I was just a bit dark and witchy. Had you written about boys or spells? Or what did you read? Spells and boys and wizards and witches.

So she did, that was my first foray into therapy because she did think that was a bit odd. I saw a teen gothast. Yeah, oh cool, they're back. Have you seen a team goth this week, 9-6-96? I don't think they ever left. And I pointed to say a team goth. Oh, yeah, to my friend.

And the goth saw me point, so I turned the point into a wave. And I gave the white got a big happy wave. And the goth gave me a big happy wave back. Cots aren't always depressed. No. They just look on the outside depressed. It's just an expression of something. Where do they hang out in Wellington if the BK shut down?

Yeah, we were lost, man. We were like wandering around. It's more like, where do we go? Where do we go? The answer was the botanical gardens and the sound shell. Right, okay. That's where we migrated too. But people texting it already,

my mum read my diary when I was a teenager found out I was no longer a virgin and the fact that it happened in her bed. What? Okay, all right, this is what we want to know, 9-6-96 Texas in. You can call us, 0,800-M. We want to know if you've ever read somebody's journal or if somebody's read yours.

Because a woman in the UK, has had a big payout because someone she was at work with read her journal. She was romantically involved with them as well. Yeah, and he had a little flick through, it got very awkward so she ended up leaving, but then was like, no, that was unfair.

And she got a payout? Huge, 80K. So, the text in. Have you read a journal or had yours read? My partner read our daughter's journal, and I do not approve of this at all. Put a bit of a fight between us. But read the last part of

that text. They get to an age where they have to trust that you've taught them some good values. I only read her text messages. Sorry. Okay. So she's like, I don't agree with you reading her journal, but her texts are open. That's not. Is that a joke? I would almost say

texts are worse. If your partner had a journal and was writing in it and just left it out and they were away at work all day, how could you not read it? I know. Like, it's there. Would you read it though? Yeah.

My mum are a couple of other people who put in their diaries The stories of their loss of virginity And their parents found out by reading their diary A couple of people saw some teen goths this week Okay Thank you for the update They're always walking You never see a goth driving

Yeah they don't drive No they don't drive Pondrous Do they bus? Yeah got a lot of got a lot of goss on public transport As a teen I found a letter Under my brother's bed when I was snooping the letter was from an ex-girlfriend saying

sorry for not telling him she was pregnant and had an abortion. Oh, my God. And did she ever tell the brother? Did you tell the brother? I haven't told anyone. 9-6-96? I haven't told anyone. She said, I haven't told anyone. I used to write my diary in shorthand as a teenager

so my mum couldn't read it, but now I can't read shorthand either, so I guess. Oh my God, me and Jess made up a code language and then I wrote my journal in it for a bit. Really? Yeah, I just didn't want my mum knowing he had such a crush on Marcus Lamb. Wow. So it's what you're about to say, Marcus Lash. She said all of you bastards read my diary.

Now, I've got to say. Is that text at the week? Have we done texts in the week here? Because that's very funny. Very funny. I mean, not the whole. It was a traumatic diary. It did.

From a teenager's a horrible, horrible story. But we did read that. We didn't kind of ask her per mish. Yeah. I read my sister's diary when I was about eight years old and found out, oh, I'm not going to read that. Are we doing that for text of the week? Yeah, sure. Okay, let's do that.

We've got a $50 animates voucher Thanks to animates, making Happy Happen for pets But if she had a dog in the attic That would have been It was scurring around Would have given her away a lot earlier Because the Nazis would have come in

And the dog would have been like Booh-Roofoof She'd be like Unless it was a German shepherd Yes Then it would have been like She's in here! Yeah, would have given her up

She's in here We're in here We're a blower Woof woof Um Wof It's with the dub It's with a V

It's with a Volf Volf Volkswagen Volkswagen Vof I smell nothing! Oh my God, there's so many people traumatised by this. Completely traumatised. I thought we could go down the aisle of dogs in World War II. No, no, no.

Completely traumatising. 14 years old, my brother found my diary. We will walk them on the beaches. And then got me into a room. Hats and Churchill was a bulldog. With all of his friends, which some of them were mentioned in the diary. And he read it out loud in front of me and in front of them. Oh my God, I've never lived it now.

Oh, no, we can't say that one. Well, so many. Keep your texts coming in. I saw some goth, teenage gotts, having a photo with Sandra at the mall. That's too happy. I love that, good sense of humour. Great.

Georgia joins us in studio. Did you ever have a journal, Georgia, growing up? Yes, I did, but I was not one that got mine read. I was one that read some others. Whose diary? Who's journal? Actually, like, my best friends growing up, like family friends, I read theirs. Because the whole thing was it was one of those, you'll know, locked up, had a passcode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, mine had that. The, like, real technical ones that the girlies had, and I hacked into their password, and then I got in. Okay. I've recently had my teenage journal return to me. It's so good. I thought I was like 11, 12.30. Everything's so dramatic. I burnt mine.

Did you? I found it, read the first page, and I was like, this can net burn. It's so embarrassing. No, we're not even, and I no regret. 17. No regret. No, for a single second of I regret, immediately burning it. Yeah, that's why we're happy.

We didn't have social media at 17. Oh, I did it then. Now, we're getting some very funny messages in which I think we should end with, but also one that I just feel like reading out. I read my sister-in-law's diary and found out she was planning on ending her life and how she was going to do it. We saved her life that week because we got her the help she needed. Wow, wow.

I mean, it's just slight, I mean, not encouraging people to read people's private stuff, but like, that's... And then there's another one here. I read my sister's diary and found out how Slate. as she was during high school and I used it against her for a very long time. Different ends of the stories

I'm really hearing it all. We don't S shame. No no not at all. I lost my diary, someone found it, read it gave it to my crush who I wrote a lot about. Kids are neat hey.

I moved away without knowing he gave it back when I saw him two years later but I was with my now husband he had written in every blank page and drawn my name over the cover so beautifully. The one that got away maybe.

Oh, 100%. He was thinking you'll come back single. So he's reading it being like, oh my God, I had no idea. But why'd you wait two years? Yeah. She's married now. Well, she must have like gone back to the town or something two years later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's got rom-com written all over. It does. It's got Christmas rom-com. Yeah, it does. It's got Hallmark Christmas. Yeah, yeah, back home for Christmas. Hey, this diary. Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.

You're married now. When I was a teenager, I found my mum's old diary which had a pros and cons list in it and it was whether or not to continue her pregnancy with me. Oh my God. I can confirm she continued her pregnancy.

Well, it would be... It would probably need to confirm that because you've texted us. You're tempting though when, you know, you've got this teenager and they're being an absolute brat and you just bring out the diary and you're like...

I could have got rid of you. Not the woman's hospital and have them aborted when they're a teen. Yeah, yeah. It just takes a bit longer. Jesus, that was dark, more than that was dark. Oh my God

I'm a guy When I was in high school I wrote in my journal That I was crushing on another guy My cousin read my journal And told everyone at school We lived in a tiny town We don't do that

No we do not That person had to leave town Yeah That's not No, that's not No Cousin was probably jealous If you're from a small town

Yeah The cousin probably had you eyed up for marriage Yeah probably Well at least you got to I'm go to a bigger town With more guys More gays yeah More gays

Hang on another one My family read my diary Found out I was gay I was so embarrassed and I still deny her. Brooke, no. My dad read, my stepdad read my diary when I was a teenager about me having a crush on my... I'm sorry, that's not your real dad.

No. He should read your step diary. He should read your step diary. That's more accessible. It was about me having a crush on the married neighbor. He got the neighbors over and had a sit-down table meeting about it. So embarrassing. 29 years later, I've been married to him for 20.

Oh my God. What? Did not see that coming? I did not, I did not see that coming. That could also be a hallmark, that could also be a hallmark movie. We just don't get run in movies, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Juicy. The Zidim Movie Factory. It's actually a great name for a production company. It's Edom Movie Factory. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Share it. Give us a review. Play ZDem's Fletchhorn and Haley.