ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - December 4th 2025

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, Eyes in the sky makes a return ahead of the IKEA opening and does Shannon deserve an apology?  Romance authors have advice for men Top 6 - Ways to know its IKEA day Quiet Divorce SLP - Are you F*, Marry or Kill? Tinder Wrapped Who is the Manchild in your life? Shannon's Hack Bad New Brad Is Patsy mad at Fletch? What did you lie about to get a job? Fact of the day Eye in the sky - Vaughan takes out the chopper See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network This is... Fletchwan and Haley's Big Pod Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Welcome to the show, Fletchhorn and Haley and New Zealand Happy Ikea day. Yes, happy Ikea day. After all this time, it's here.

Finally. IKEA. As it actually is. And my mum, you know, because she lives in Europe sometimes. She's like, well, I guess I'll have to change back to IKEA now that I'm in New Zealand, but it's actually Akea. Akea. Is that actually how they're saying?

Yeah, it's not IKEA. Oh, okay. Ikea. Ikea. Like it's ickyer than it was yesterday. Yeah, it's ickyer and stickier. He's giving me the ick and he's ickyer. Yeah.

I know so many people excited about this. They're actually going to try and go today. That dumb. That dumb and you should not be friends with them anymore. Wilde. They're insane. Lines and crowd. I think I'm just going to, I'm happy to wait until like next year, midweek.

It's not really my cup of tea. I'm fine. I'll just go, I'm going to pop to Australia. You'll probably wait less time. I also don't think this IKEA furniture just fits well with your sort of. No. What's their vintage section like? They're sort of borough riddled

Ope tables? Do they have stuffed taxidermy everywhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of some brass candlesticks. A nude art? Yeah. They might have a brass candlestick. Right.

Genuine, authentic brass. No, no, no, no. No. No. No. But, you know, God giveth and God taketh away. He does. Horse of the year no more.

Oh, IKEA. Yeah. Pretty a pretty tough day for people who don't like kitset furniture. of it, love their horses. Well, today are the top six dealing with the IKEA opening. Top six sides, it's IKEA Day. And also, Vaughn, I believe, we're going to help out because traffic,

they're expecting traffic to be quite bad near IKEA. Because this is the thing they debated for years. Where's it going to go? It's New Zealand big enough. It's got to go by, like, main roads and shopping centres, right? That's what they do. So it's at Sylvia Park. It's always either south or west, right?

I would have thought Sylvia Park would have been crazy enough today as is. Yeah. So we're going to help out this afternoon. on the show, and it's been a while since we've had the budget to do this. It's been the while since we've done this. We've actually called in a favour from the Mowbray's. We're going to bring back the Fletchhorn and Haley Eye in the Sky.

And Vaughn, you're going to go up on this, I pretty say the windiest day I've seen this year in all right. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's actually flight warnings. I just need five minutes at some stage to get to Arlie Williams and Anna Mowbray's helicopter pad and who they? I didn't think they were allowed to use that. They're still using it. Oh, right.

They're just... Sh! So you're going to take off. I'll take off. I'm going to hit the skies. And give us a traffic update. Okay, so if you are heading to IKEA today, also 9-6-96 if you're planning on going. Oh, 9-6-96. Also, just 9-6-9-6 all day. 9-6-9-6. Why isn't it Friday 9-6-9-6?

God, it really feels like it should be. We did say that on Monday, though. Yeah, we did. Tuesday had big Saturday. We did say that. The Fletch morning, Haley, big pod. So here's some romantic, well, our book girl is away at the moment. Carwin's Way

at Carwin Reads on Instagram for her Romanticy recommendations but eight Romanticy authors have given some real-life dating advice for men, women and others to follow in order to get closer I guess to the kind of connection that we read about

Carissa Broadbent That feels like she's used to stay I reckon it's a stage name It's always weird when you see these people Like that show that's going crazy on HBO at the moment about the gays are they the ice hockey players or something like that?

Dude, what? What are you talking about? No, it's a massive show on HBO. Everyone, so what's it? Do you know what I'm talking about? Game of Bones. Game of Bones. The author is this woman.

And everyone's like, what? Oh, have they rid of... They've adapted from books. There was an ice hockey... An ice hockey? No, an ice hockey kink. Like, you know, elves... Elves and...

Ice hockey is like a whole quarter of... Why? Is it the fighting? Is it the dumpers on the dudes? I think it's just so American and that's like one of their like hot, sexy sports. And like there are, I will say, on the dating app that... Heated rivalry is what it's going. And yeah, it's been like big online in the last couple of weeks

has just come out. On the exclusive dating app that I'm on where you have to either be rich, famous or hot. Yep. Lots of... And I'm all three. Which one are you? Tick, tick.

Oh, okay. Yeah, well. basking in money, basking in hotness and basking in fame. So they obviously don't have to see your bank accounts. Yeah, you don't have to submit that. You just have an air of wealth. There's heaps of American ice hockey players on there. And I'm always like, I see it.

You know they've got a badong, hey. Yeah, they are baton. Heated rivalry is a steamy sports romance series about two professional hockey players who have a secret years-long love affair. Oh. And it's written, it's based on these books that have written by a woman.

And you look at her and you're just like, What the hell? Sorry, I've just opened up my exclusive dating app. We have to be rich, hot or famous, and I'm on it because I'm all three. Was that singer that was in Auckland this week? Was he on there? I didn't even check while he was here. But you've seen him before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that you're allowed to talk about this secret app. No, but man, we'd have a bloody good pint. Yeah. You know what I mean? Man, we would have to laugh. Look at this, absolute. Okay, back on track.

I don't want to be. This man looks about eight foot tall. Sorry, okay. What was they doing? Real life dating advice from Romantasy authors Healthy relationships come easier once you know yourself Says Carissa You can't find your identity through a partner

She says only you can do that Wishwashy Even fantasy kings prefer a self-assured partner So that's for the reader I guess To be you can't go looking for that Shonora Williams God these names are bloody great Be with someone who brings peace, safety

In a sense of home Choose a person who makes you feel seen and calm Not chaotic Well, Shonora, that means I'll never find love. Too chaotic. I'm too chaotic. So that's terrible advice for people who want to be looking at me. Jennifer L. Armand Trout.

Is that made up, that name? A-R-M-E-N-A-R-O-T, Trout. Armantrout. It'll be like Armantraud. It's like Mike Armatrot of Breaking Bad. That was his name, wasn't it? Okay. Her advice is if he wouldn't irritate a dragon to make you smile,

doesn't deserve a second date and that's crap Michaela D Hornadu Hornadu Remember you are the price Honanidue Want an escape if I want to do Waiting for the right person beats

forcing the wrong relationship Kimberly Lemming says if they're rude To service staff dump them I could I've never That would be such a red flag That is Life's too short for unkind or uninterested partners

And also give a short king a go And Al Kennedy says I'm not going to read all of them Because I don't This is I'm sort of Quite distracted by that eight foot man on that dating app. Al Kennedy says

never chase, be chased. The right person won't make you beg for attention or decode mixed signals and real interest is obvious. Yeah. Okay, we're some great advice. We'll leave you to that.

Play ZM's FlashForn and Haley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Hi there. Today's top six is the top six signs. It's IKEA Day. And because it's Thursday,

and I thought it's got a big Friday energy and I can only think of five. It's going to be one of those top six is where number one is a list of suggestion. I'll keep my way on the machine. If you watch the text machine and I'm happy to hand that over to you. Yep.

Professional comedian to pick the funniest text. Thank you so much for trusting me that. On the top six signs, it's IKEA Day. Love this. Now, later in the show, you will be up in the chopper. Correct. The Fletch Forne and Haley Eye in the sky. It's been a while since we've done this service.

for the listeners, but... I think traffic's going to be chaos. Traffic, so Ikea today is going to open at 11 o'clock. It normally would open at 9, like other stores, but I think just because it's opening day, they've maybe staggered it, so people driving to work aren't inconvenienced by this traffic. The car park, though, that's going to open at 8.30,

and people are already lining up. Car park's open at 8.30 for an 11 a.m. doors open. Yes. I have. Far race. That's nuts, eh. Do they have online shopping available in New Zealand? Do you reckon? Unsure. Because my, yeah, if they will, yeah, Shannon's nodding her head.

Permission to brag about a friend's accomplishments. Yes. My friend Renee did the structural engineering for IKEA. The building. Which is more intense than... It's the strongest IKEA in the world. Yeah, we have to use more steel because it's on, you know, Auckland's all volcanoes. We are a volcano.

Yeah. One big volcano. So if a volcano goes off, IKEA will float. on the lava and wherever it sits is the new I care. It'll settle out west, south. Hopefully we'll float closer to my house on the lava. It probably will. It would be nicer, central city.

Probably will float down there. Well, I've got the top six signs. It's IKEA Day and again we are opening up number one to you, the listener. Yep, 96-9-6. So generous, I'll be 9-6-9-6. It's just because you're lazy and haven't done it, isn't it? Bingo, movie. So what's the prompt you want from our list?

Top six. Top six signs, it's IKEA Day. 966. Number six on the list, your Ancestry.com, Scandinavian percentage. has just gone up. Oh, yeah. Pretty worth of check. Do you guys remember

when I was a little bit Scandinavian and now with the updates, Ancestry.com? You're just a little bit country. Just nothing. And a little bit of rock and roll. It's England. Just England white.

Yeah. Yeah. Which is the worst white. In the Rizan chart. Yeah. It's no half black white. No. Oh yeah.

What's the color of your ceilings? That's English wine. Yeah. It's no brown skin light eyes. Green eyes. My favorite Rizzeen color of them all. Brown skin. light eyes. Yeah.

Oh, it's Ancestry.com's had a... Is it doing sort of a year in review as well? I've just logged on and it's trying to chat. Nothing's changed. Nothing's changed in my DNA in the last year. Well, of course, you're still white. That's not a surprise. I'm 3% Swedish though.

Okay, so you're 3% Ikea. Yep, I'm 3% Ikea. I'm just logging in now. I'm just logging in too. Oh, mine looks a bit spicier. Updated. We've had a bit of spice added. How so? God, they keep...

They keep bloody... Oh no, just more specific with my Scottish Gaelic. Yeah, I've got zero anything outside of England now. You talk a lot about your gay-licking, but I've never seen it. Vaughan. I've met Gaelic. Like, because of me too. Yeah, because I'm very Scottish.

Yeah, Scottish-Irish. No, I'm still as brown and as white as I was before. Okay. Still claiming onto that 19% Mali. Kilda. Number five on the list of the top six signs at Sykeye Day, blue bags everywhere. Oh, yeah.

Love those blue bags. I want me one of them. Our friend Louise got one in yesterday, but it turns out she has been to our care in Australia, and she was sporting it in Auckland as a sort of a look at me, look at me. Yeah, look at me. Oh, okay. It looks like a great beach bag.

Yeah, and good for the, like, the boot for all the shopping. Yeah. It's got the same vibe as those old tricolour plastic woven. Great for storing a blanket in the garage. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to do check luggage in this. There's no zip. It's an open top. And I wouldn't check luggage of those anyway, those old things that zip used to blow.

open on those. 96.96 on the text machine. Top six signs it's Ikea Day. Number four on the list is you've got someone in your life asking

if you've got to set Alan Keys. Oh yeah. But they're they give you a flight pack they'll give you the Allen Key in them.

Yeah but the worst ones are the flimsy Lindsay Lohan. You burr those Alan Keys They're made a liquorish aren't they? Yeah they are. Basically a licorish

Elkriek That's an old mate saying. That's bloody screwdriver's made a licquish. Number three on the list of the top six signs at Sykeya Day everybody's eat

meat bowls. Yeah. You know you can bind them they're frozen and take them home and cook them yourself. That's insane. Yeah.

Because you could just do that with mince from the supermarket. Yeah, that is just mince sort of squished into a ball. I bet if I asked a chat GPT for the IKEA meatball recipe.

Oh, I don't 100% do it. And ask, you should ask all that secret herbs and spices. Oh, it's... It knows. It knows. It's told me how to make

like Big Mac's sauce and everything. Yeah, okay. I make a good Big Mac sauce. Do you have the IKEA meatball recipe? Uh-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dha. Well, this is slow.

Of course it's got it. Absolutely. Here it is. They actually released it themselves during World War II. During World War II, they released their meatballs. Just because people wanted to make their own meatballs. 500 grams of beef mints, 250 grams of pork mints. Always mixy mints.

Yeah. Always mixing mints. When it comes to a ball, for sure. A finely chopped medium onion, a clove of garlic, 100 grams of breadcrumbs, one egg, five tablespoons of whole milk and salt and pepper. Now, the milk's the unexpected. That is so basic. That's a basic ball recipe.

That's a basic ball. Boring. Yeah. All in the sauce. My mom does a good sweetly sour meatballs. Yum. With pineapple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really good. Number two on the list of the top six signs at Sykear date. Frantic debate about how it said. Ikea. Ikea, my mom says. Because we, Tadio, the bird. Is it a Kia? Is that right?

And then E, it would kind of be that. Ikea. Ikea. Keora, we should call it. Keogah, Ikea. Ikea. And number one on the list, let's go to the text machine. We thank Ashley for the number one on the list of the top six signs that it's IKEA Day.

Because you'll see all the couples walking in, holding hands, and walking out bickering about minimalist lamps and mushroom lamps. Yes, I love that so much. Good from you, Ashley. Good cool. And the phrase, why did you ask me? if you didn't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be uttered as well.

That is today's top six. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flethorn and Haley. People are doing things quietly. Not a life I'm used to. I like to announce when I'm doing something. Loud. Quiet quitting.

We've talked about before an employee performs only the bare minimum requirements of their job rather than going above and beyond. Sort of pulling back and being like, I'm also open to other jobs. I'm just going to sort of slide it. out of this quietly. You like this.

Pardon me. You like this. I didn't really put it in gear. I just sort of like coasting a neutral sort of situation. Yeah. Yeah, why not? Downhill.

Yeah, you're just always looking for hills. Yeah, I'm just always looking for more downhills. Yeah, but eventually, to find more downhills. You've got to go up. Wow. Motivational, man. That was motivational. Wow.

Okay. No, because when it comes to going up, I'll just hook my wagon on somebody else's horse. Yeah, but that's okay. Okay. Because sometimes we need horses in life. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Have we just found the new Mel Robbins? Yeah, I think, you know what? Let them. Well, people are also now quietly exiting their relationships. Quiet. Oh, yeah. What, quiet breaking up.

Quiet divorce saying they call it. Okay. Slow, silent emotional withdrawal long before any kind of formal announcement of a split. Right. Who's doing this more, men or woman? Well, that's a good question. They haven't broken it down, genderly. Because gender is a societal construct.

Right. It's just, I'm just saying it's got big woman energy. Yeah, it does. Just say what you're feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Early signs are tiny often. Ignored bids for connection, brushed off conversations, emotional distancing. Bordom and routine, erode closeness and passion over years, not awake.

Isn't this just marriage? That's marriage. That's marriage. That's what's marriage. That's why the statistics on marriage are great. Aren't you just describing marriage? Yes. You've got to be careful, though, because modern pressures,

like the pressure for endless excitement and social media comparisons, we're so yeah, we're doing this, can often make normal dips, which are part of marriage and long-term relationships, feel like these big deal breakers. Women often spot the disconnect. Here we go, there's a little bit of a comment here.

Women often spot the disconnect first because we carry more emotional labour. Men are often the ones withdrawing. Oh, men are the ones withdrawing. Men are often withdrawing. Decline can sometimes be reversed with small. small acts so catching it early responding to bids showing more appreciation

adding some fun elements bringing in a third yeah you know going to a kick I'm just throwing suggestions out there right yeah go visiting a little store and shopping around

yeah maybe all bringing one of these you know sometimes the quiet fate is a sign the relationship is just run its course and most relationships don't end in explosions this is often how things go a little quiet quit

a little slip away from it all just so Say it. If you want someone to do something, just say it. Mm, mm. Mm. Mm. Hmm.

Mm. Mm. Ponder that. Ponder it. I think I'm actually going to take some time to just ponder that. And don't forget, if you ever need to hitch your wagon to a horse. For an uphill. For an uphill battle before a beautiful, slow, easy decline.

Find yourself a good horse. Wow. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshflow. and Haley. Sledgeforned and Haley, silly little pole, silly little pole, it is so silly, silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole today is when your name comes up in a game of F, Maori, kill, what do you think people pick you for? Yeah.

I like to think I'm a solid Maori. Yeah, I like to think I'm solid Maori as well. I'm definitely not a Maori. No, no, you're an F. I'm getting, or I'm getting killed. Nah. Nah. Believe in yourself.

I also believe when we ask this question, there might have been some confuzzles. Yeah. They thought we were asking you to pick which one of Fletch one and Haley you were the F-Marry, which could be an interesting little. Oh, no, I don't think Haley. Oh, no, I couldn't handle it. I don't think Haley needs that.

She wouldn't handle it. I'm getting killed. Yeah, she talks too much, thinks she's so funny. I can't be having that. Wait, Shannon just said that's what people were saying. From your dealing with the syllable poll and the people's responses, where are we at? She's a bit much.

Was that it? Yeah. It was either kill or F, Haley. And I think you'd appreciate that. Yeah, so it's either. Born was a straight Mary every time and then Fletch was the opposite. See, people are killing me. Fine.

Would you rather be you or me? No, you may. No, you're getting F. If I'm getting all the M's, you're either getting the F or the K. Yeah, you guys are splitting the F in the K. We're splitting the F. So we're quite divisive characters.

Yeah, I mean, I just think we're bold personalities and you can't handle us and that's actually more of a U-issue. That's how I'm reflecting on that. That's how I'm choosing to reflect on that. Well, and if you want to marry a starfish, go for it. Yeah, absolutely. She was Vanilla Vaughan over there.

Vanilla Vaughan. Oh, Vanilla Vaughn. Vanilla Vaughn is in his orange chalk chip era. Vanilla Vance is gone. It's gone. He is. I'm 32 flavors. Pick up a scoop.

Choose which one you want and how many you want. And if you want a waffle or a stamp cone, you can have a tub. I'm a waffle cone, man. He's no gullas. You can have a, wow. Well, for those that did answer correctly about themselves when people play this game. Well, 36% of people believe that they would be the kill option. Oh.

44% believe that they would be the Maori option. And only 20% believe themselves to be the F. Oh, wow. That's a lot of, yeah, okay. Some feedback on it. Jody said people would definitely choose to kill me. I'm a fat, opinionated white woman. Oh, my God.

Who will call you out on your shit. I have no doubt this is the reality, and I have zero issues about it. Wow, that's brutal. Depends who I'm put it against. Two of the mingers, I might get a Maori, but put me against hot people, it's game over for me. She's Ash. Ash. Ash.

Ash. She could be the marry option. Totally. said, I assume they can't pick for me between F or Mary. Right, okay. So he doesn't think he's being killed. Okay. Beth and I found out that one bitch at work said she'd kill me and I didn't speak

to her after that. To be fair, I am a bit much. Now, you probably proved your point there, Beth. Like what you did is you probably proved a point. Yeah. This is exactly how I imagine this would happen. I love this, a little poll. Laura says Minger here, so no F's.

I reckon I'm a Wellington 5 at best. I'm loyal though, so people probably choose Mary, better than kill, so I'll take it. Yeah, nice. Okay. Cass, okay, but how often is this game being played? Who still does this? Endlessly. Yeah. As soon as there's, as soon as there's

like a trio of anything, you immediately have to play it. Those are the rules. Yeah, yeah. Neve said, Mary, I'm good in bed, but I'm not hot enough to just be a one-off. Okay. It's good to be aware. Well, another Wellington 5. Bad news, Brad, who's coming in soon. Oh, no. He's a regular reply.

to the silly little pile. Randy's Big Mary. Kill, always kill. No one in their right mind would answer F or Mary unless it was, oh, he'd be okay as a wedding celebrant. I tell you what though he's...

He is in New Zealand gold elite and you'd get elite partner so you'd get priority baggage. And he's a sweetie. Marry that man. Although he'd never let you spend money and be like... This is the thing.

I'd be coming home of my shopping and be like, what is this? Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. Miller said, I'm like blue cheese. Bit of an acquired taste. Good time around.

those who know me, a bit odd for those who aren't. Sounds like a cake. I like blue cheese now. I never used to. I had a blue cheese pier salad yesterday. Oh, lovely. Yum. I'm definitely a Maori.

I literally baked cookies on a whim today because of the four-year-old wanted some. That's great wife material. Yeah, that is good stuff. That's good, yeah. So, for silly little poll, we asked you, if people are playing a game of F, Mary, kill, and your name comes up, what one gets picked. 44% of people, you know, the most popular answer was people, think they're getting married.

The ZNN Podcast Network. Well, today, Spotify wrapped us out. Everybody will be waking up to... Yep. Here's my top artist. Here's how interesting I am compared to you. I just want to give big... Thanks, I guess, to everybody

that's been sending in how many minutes of our podcast I've listened to. Did you just say? A moment to breath. Someone just said they listen to... So I'm... Manda. Manda messaged me.

Manda. Gade Amanda. She had me immediately because her profile picture is bingo from from the TV show Bluey and you know that's one of my top shows of all time. I MDB got to be one of my top five. I'mdaba. Love it. But

she listened to 78,339 minutes of our podcast, putting her in the top 0.05% of people who listen. Oh wow. So there's people even more have listened more than her. She's a sewing machinist than she sits while she's sewing machining and has gone

back to when Haley started with us and has been basically working eight hour days listening. Wow. Keep it up to date with the recent stuff but have gone back to the early stuff to catch up. Oh, that's a real... What has happened? That's a real Christopher Nolan way of listening

to the show, you'll be hearing things and you're like, I don't get it, then you hear the origin of it, and then you're just like, wow. I wonder if she's heard your life like slowly kind of falling to pieces. I wonder if she's put that to go. I might ask her if she's...

I wonder if she heard my weight gain over the last four years. I wonder she heard her... You can really hear it. Yeah, yeah. So one thing that Spotify has done this year in Spotify Rapped is your

listening age. Yeah. And this was fascinating because what was your listening age? Vaughan and I are both 68. That's wild. I'm surprised it is for you, Vaughan, because this has been your girl pop year of Chapel Sabrina. Yeah. Chapel Sabrina, Benson

Olivia Dean, those are kind of my tops. Mine makes sense because Queen's my number one band again. You know, like I do like the old stuff. I love it. You got a bit listen to a bit of classic rock. I love a bit of Fleetwood and in the mix, don't get me wrong, but I've not really been really in my retro era. My Spotify listening age is

34. Because I listen to a lot of like indie pop and indie rock and alternative. My number one album's my number one album. But that's sleeping. Kings of Leon was my actual. Because we found that album again and we've just been absolutely thrashing it. Well, they're not the only ones doing a end of year. I love the end of year wrap-ups.

It's just so nice to look back and be like, oh, those were the trends and Tinder's done it as well. They don't do a personalised one where they say like you swiped X amount of times or something. Or you're a minger. They actually should. Yeah. Or like people swiped left on you X amount of times. You're a Wellington 9. You'd be like, yes

I am. That would actually be really good to just know. It is good to know. Weird. Yeah, because I'm in Auckland 7.2. But that's like literally what they're, if you could get into the backdoor numbers of Tinder, you'd find out like what it thinks of you. Because don't they prioritise the hot people?

Yeah, for sure they do. Unless you're an invocargo. Oh, man, I'll swipe and just find one. You're an invoccal, 10, aren't you? 10? Well, no, Invercargo, that were all the handsome and good-looking ones are shacked up by 18. Yeah, exactly.

You know, back out in the high country farms or working at the smelter. They looked at the trends and... Oyster boats? Yeah. Shuck in the oysters? Shuck in oysters. God, now I want oysters. You know, you can get down there and get a man who...

Shucks. Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, so they've looked at all of the trends of the year. And, like, the main takeaway for Tinder's sort of end of the year thing and looking ahead to what we're going to be into for 2026. The young people, Gen Z, done with mind games and, like, well, they won't they? Remember we talked about being shalant, not a word? Yeah, and it's kind of post-lockdown in pandemic years.

It's made everybody just cut to the chase. Yeah, young data's 18 to 25, officially tapped out of mixed messages and guessing. New trend is clear coding and chalance. Say what you want. Be straight up. Ambiguity is out. Transparency is in. First date.

How many kids are we having? Just like, hey, hi, this is a thing. And definitely I've noticed in my year of being on dating apps for the first time in my life is that that is the way. And it's so great. It's so refreshing. And you go into a date being like, cool. Yeah. This is the expectation.

Emotional honesty is sexy. Australian. 64% of young Australians say dating needs more emotional honesty clearer intentions, majority of people want to go on a date where they can fully be themselves. Authenticity is the new currency. Vibe coding

for emotional connections deep but not dramatic. Basically the whole summary of it is clear intentions, honest energy, values alignment, low key romance, bestie approved dates and hope that be chill. Right. Monogamy? Ow.

Is that for you, is it you saying that or Tinder? Man, I've got a book, it's out. Play, Z-Ns, Flesh, One, and Haley. There is research. We talked a bit about this, that we're aging, we're entering different age brackets later in life, and adolescence actually kind of extends longer than we think. Right.

And for men, male adolescents can extend into their mid-30s, the time that they really kind of land in an adult. Okay. Life. Do you know how they got this information, the specific research? by scanning the WhatsApp chats of women in their 30s. Wait, they shouldn't be scanning WhatsApp chats.

I thought those things were end-to-end encryption. Safe, safe, safe. They'll be submitted. I'm imagining they were submitted, yeah. They scanned the WhatsApp chats of women in their 30s, single women, who are outdating and found keywords through their chats about when they talk about men.

Here are the words that they got from these. group, these WhatsApp chats with women. Flaky. Children, quite dull, cowardly, a project and awful at expressing his feelings. Okay, wow. Isn't that wild? So basically validating that, you know,

what many women feel is emotional maturity in men often lags. Yes. Behind that of women. I want to know, who's the man child in your life? And what is their man child behaviour? Are we men children? No.

In your life? No. Thank you. You're not. already got some messages in. Okay, good. It didn't take much. Didn't know.

To get them started. Because you do often hear about women that have to, you know, they pack their men lunches because they're, otherwise they'll go out and just buy a pie. Yeah, you've got to tell them not to tuck their, you know, their t-shirt in like that. Yeah. I have, so bloody, I've got a man child reads this message. Has the pallet of a three-year-old won't eat out? Oh, what?

Want just nuggies at home? No. Yeah, a bit nuggies at home. Oh, he's at home. Only wear certain pants and tops and shorts. Very needy. Just like having a toddler again. But I love his stupid ass, she does say.

Yeah. Well, that's sweet. Okay, well, that's all we want to know this morning. I'll wait a hundred dollars at Em is our number. Text in, 9-6-96. And by the way, I can be any man-child. Somebody said, does my boom a boss who can't even use a microwave count? He comes and gets me every time.

Absolutely. Are you kidding me? It doesn't have to be your partner. I just want to know, do you have a man-child in your life. We're talking about the man-child in your life. and before we said that someone while she loved him had a man-child in her life doesn't like to go out to eat

because he's a, and we called him a nuggie man, dino nuggies, she messaged back. It's not just nuggies, it's dinosaurs. Wait, how old is this man? Well, a man. 9-6-9-6, we need an update. 9-6-9-6. Just still just a man though.

Yeah, 9-6-9-6. That's terrible. Far apart. Someone said, I don't know, yeah, yeah, it wasn't lost on me when we said he doesn't like to go to restaurants to eat. Yes, okay. The way she put it.

perhaps. Yes, okay. Could have indicated something else. My 45-year-old flatmate never cleans anything around the house. His jobs is lawns and garden. Guess what I'm doing this weekend? Starts with lawns and ends with gum. Oh, God.

That's terrible. Man baby. Yeah, pull his way and then it's to pull his way. Yeah, yeah. 34-year-old man baby in my life still piggybacks on mum and dad's Christmas presents to everybody in the family. What? But is he giving them cash? Is he time poor?

Because if he's time born and he's just like, I'll just give you some cash. I'll get in on that. But I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe he's just like, can you put my name on the curb? My ex-girlfriend is the man-child in my life. Oh, wow. That's from Sarah.

Yeah, someone else messaging, I am the man-child in my wife's life and I'm a female. Wait, so in a lesbian relationship, there's still a man-child. Yeah, they're still a man-child. Okay. Yeah. My man-child is the reason we have a Pokemon-themed Christmas tree. With over 40 stuffed Pokemon toys and more to come. Wait, that kind of catch them all.

It kind of might look cool. No. Oh, it's so tacky. You know, like a photo of the Pokemon Christmas tree. Yeah, that's kind of fun. Yeah, give us a photo. Come on. Send us a photo.

We love that. 66. My man child is 66. Won't go anywhere that doesn't sell spades. Doesn't like Indian food or Asian cuisine, so very much limits where they go. Doesn't like, red flag. Yeah. Yum.

The yumest. If they sell steak, he's in. Doesn't see anything wrong with jeans for a wedding. No. Shorts, Harley T-shirt, and jeans. Jandals is the usual attire. I've got a big picture of this guy in my... That's a big baby Bogan.

We've got a big baby Bogan. Yeah. So the guy, you know, the Dino Nuggies, he turns 37 on the 22nd of December. He's an independent man while at work. Seventy hours is a truck, but about out of home, he's just a big old man baby. Right. I mean, I get if you're working a big long week, you don't have a lot left in the tank, but some dino nuggets.

Are we steaming some broccoli around there? You must be blocked up, eh? I hope he's getting some fibre something. Yeah, I hope there's some fibre. Yeah, but even us that concerned about his poopies is sort of reiterating that he's a man child. Great timing for this phone and conversation. My man child's just about to leave for work and I had to make sure I had packed his lunch that I'd made for him and not left it in the fridge. Now, someone just said Rich of Haley to call the Pokemon Christmas tree tacky.

Have you seen hers? I just uploaded it to Instagram. I think it's very classy. Actually, bad news, Brad. Can you just chime in on my Christmas tree? I looked at it earlier, and put it this way, I certainly didn't think it was tacky. I'm a Christmas Grinch, though.

So, like, you're not going to get anything useful for me. Yeah, it would be. Oh, money, money, money. Well, okay, it's more that, okay, it's now December, so it's appropriate for Christmas stuff to be up. There's been some Christmas trees that have been up for over a month at this point. They're not going to get taken down until February. Like, that's too long.

But if we're talking about bringing down the cost per use. Cost per day, Brad. Oh, he's got you there. The easiest cost per use there is just go to someone else's house for Christmas. You don't have to worry about it. Oh, that's a very man-trial of you, actually. No, to my other friends. None of you have invited me to Christmas yet.

Well, I'm not here. You can come to our Christmas. Another update on Dona Nuggies. Yeah. The only veggies here eat it drown in gravy, sauce or covered in cheese. I mean, I can't afford the dude for putting a bit of a taste on the bench. What makes broccoli better? Cheese.

Yeah, yeah, that's true. What makes beef better? Gravy. Gravy. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, a lot of people just messaging in now, hey, leave. it. Dino Nuggies are the best.

Okay. I didn't even know you could still get Dino Nuggies in New Zealand. I'm the man child in our life. My man makes my lunch and has to remind me to take it as I'm leaving the house. Okay. Okay, we'll just... Yeah, Teagle do a whole range of animal Nuggies. Not just Dinos. And Ingrams are your Dino Nuggies.

Right, okay. There you go. That's your Nuggy update. 966. What flavour tastes better? Animal, standard Nuggy or dino Nuggies? Does shape add to taste or is it all a mental game? Or is it all in the mind? Yeah, I think it's a mental game. Yeah.

Somebody else's, oh, yeah, he gets really upset when the washing's not done so he can wear his undies with the right day of the week on it. Oh, I'd say, you know, a small tantrum. Do your own damn washing? But, you know, respect for actually wearing the right day of the week undies, because some people don't. Respect the day of the week. Yeah, respect.

If you're going to a day of the week undies, have double packs. Yeah, I totally agree. You know, have some backup days in case Tuesdays are still on the wash. You need a couple of Mondays, a couple Tuesdays. It's really interesting if you bought the week of undies. It's stuck to a regimented Tuesdays on Tuesday. Thursday on Thursday. What pair would wear out first?

The weekend. 9-6.9-6. What day of the undies would wear out first? The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZDN's flesh, born, and haley. You ready? Yeah. If you see a faded sign at the side of the road,

That says 15 miles to a Shannon's hat. Shannon's hack, baby. Well, she's back with a hack for us. Yeah, five star one. Maybe somewhat embarrassed by the fact that yesterday producer Carwin just kind of accidentally gave us a hack and it was amazing. It was incredible. The calculator hack.

The calculator hack. The conversion hack on the calculator. It was amazing. And also wild than on a day where bad news, Brad, is in studio and about to talk to us about the economy man, you've got a money-saving hat for us. Yeah, and I think Brad is only allowed to give a rating if he likes it. No, that's not how it works.

That's not how life works. You don't go to a bakery and they don't say, please only review us if you like this cake. They don't do that, do they? Yeah, okay. Shannon, I'm going to be very tough here as well just to you know. Brad, I'm going to you in this morning.

You were locked out. Oh, okay. That's at least one point additional, then. Okay, what's your hack? Okay, well, we're heading. into Christmas and I love a bit of festive whimsy in my life and there is nothing yummier

than a little peppermint hot chocolate. Yum. Right? Now peppermint hot chocolates can get real spinny if you're heading off to a cafe or anything. Who does a peppermint hot chocolate? What is? It's not a thing. It is. That's very American. Oh but yum.

Okay. Are you talking about getting a hot chocolate and they squirt that liquid They add like an extra syrup in there. Caramel or hazel. And they charge you extra for that. and then if you're getting all these extra things. I worry I know where this is going. Yeah. I've got a way to make a really cheap.

Please don't tell me you're spitting a mentos in there. No, no. What about a menthol, little menthol dart? No. No, Haley. What I want you to do is head to your local work kitchen where there's a bunch of amenities, right? And grab a little peppermint tea bag

and brew yourself a nice cup of tea. And then I want you to add in your Milo mixture that you have at work. any hot chocolate mixture. Dude, this sounds so disgusting. Go and make one, I dare you. Yeah. I will.

I will. Ew, yeah. We've got Milo and peppermint tea. We should have made this. Milo peppermint tea. Yeah. Yuck. Yeah.

Then you're saving all this money and it's free. And now you're at work enjoying a nice little whimsical Christmas drink for free, may I add. Are you enjoying it? This is almost a written warning, I feel. Like, it's out there with like, like, the ladder. Can we go to A charm? I'm really having a restrain myself from physical assault. Yeah.

I was going to. I was going to swear, I was going to say, oh, you know. I think we can probably just end it here with, um, no stars. Oh, hang it, we've got a guest judge. Look, look, it probably does, it saves you money, but like, does it really bring you enough enjoyment? Is it, um, put it this way, I thought you were going to say you were going to dip a candy cane into a milo or something and let it sort of melt through.

See, now we're talking. That's a good chocolate. Get a hot chocolate and stir it with a candy cane and you, now we're talking. That's a good idea. Well, I thought it was going to be having a clips mint. Three stars. for Brad's hack. Yeah, three stars for Brad's.

So, but that's building on Shannon. So Shannon's got, she can claim that. How are we having two days in a row where I don't get a hack? Somebody did say, I mean, this coming on the back of Carwin's amazing hack yesterday only makes this hack so much, isn't it? They've used Shannon's, they've used Carwin's hack on the calculator like four times already. Oh, wow. Someone just text in that I'm confusing ideas with hacks.

And I'm... You're looking you are confusing bad ideas. Oh, darling, what you've done. there is, yeah, you've confused ideas for hacks. Yeah, okay. One. One. One. Yeah, if that's minimum score. But for Brad.

Two, because I said I had to give at least an additional one on top. Three, I'd say three, because the candy cane will be quite sweet. Well, that's my idea. No, you get three. Shannon gets one. Carwin got five for yesterday. Oh, man, Carlin. It's a hack.

Well, I guess we'll leave that there. Thank you. If you see your faded sign at the last. the side of the road that says one start a day for Shannon's hat. Ready up, baby. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. Just in the break, what we've done is I've made a peppermint tea

and I've put a bit of Milo in. I'm just going to give it a light review to see if it needs to be, if we need to change our answer. That's not bad. Oh, God, guys, it's not bad. Guys, it's actually yum. It's not bad.

What, peppermint tea and Milo? Give me a try. Yeah, go on. It's not bad. Little sippy. It's not bad. Fletch, you've got to be honest. It's actually not bad.

It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. Considering this was free. Yeah, that's not bad. Bad news, Brad. Do you want to have a little sippy do?

Look, I feel like we may have to retract our one star and maybe we'll go to three. Bad news brandish. Oh yeah, no, that's, that's good. That's a great. If you're into a sweet drink. We can admit when we're wrong.

Might have to do the outro again, actually, because... Three stars today. Oh, is that only three? I don't, three and a half. For a free drink. I just got to sit through an ad. Oh, Vaughn, why haven't you paid for YouTube premium? I should.

Just log into my account. Just don't charge what I watch. I don't want to wreck your algorithm. It's good to admit that we're... I like admitting when I'm wrong. Yes. It's important to. It's important to.

Happy to follow up with an apology. What do, how many stars? If you see, you faded side at the side of the road that says three stars a day for Shannon's hat. Still not five like how one. Three stars, baby. Okay. Okay, we'll cut that off. Excellent.

College accepted. Cut her off. Your mic stop working. Your call, you've got a dicky cord. Oh, it's not. It's literally just popped right on out. Okay. I blame Brie.

Bad news, Brad, welcome. Thank you for joining us. Lovely to be back. Principal, big CEO, big boss, infometrics. Here to talk about the economy. And we weren't sure we wanted to talk to you about today. No, I know. Messages in.

And the listeners have responded with their questions for you. And the big one is always, what should I do with my mortgage? Because, you know, as adults, you grow up and then you just find yourself with a mortgage, you're like, I shouldn't have this. I don't know. I don't know how this works. Does that mean that I'm not an adult? I don't have a mortgage. I still feel like I don't know how it all works.

Yeah, I just locked mine all in and it's definitely made a few savings. I've made some savings. What are you doing with your money now? Spending it? Oh, the extra money? Christmas tree decorations. It's still just a drop in the bloody.

Oh yeah, but see, this is what's going to get the economy going. A little bit more money. Brad, I, you know I am supporting the economy. You want us spending now. Yeah. I thought you wanted us to save. Well, that's the whole point, right? The Reserve Bank's cut their official cash rate

did it the other day again, down to 2.25%. They directly would like you to spend a bit more money now, just to get the economy going. Don't you worry about it. I'm spending, I'm spending. Well, and look, you're not the only one. Retail sales the other day for the September quarter, 1.9% growth fastest in it, like, a couple of years, I think.

It's been a tough year, don't get me wrong. But there's a few numbers here in there recently. Well, I did yesterday purchase a pillow and two buckets of cookies. So, I'm doing my back. Yeah, I got some Christmas cookies. Man, that's my favourite bucket. Yeah. That's a good bucket, eh?

It's a great bucket. It's an interesting combo. Pillows and a couple of... Well, I'm not using them together. Am I? Why, I am. Just sitting a sap up on the couch. Some questions in from listeners for you, Brad.

Oh, that's interesting. What are we getting mum and dad for Christmas this year, Brad? That's from your sister Brooke. Oh, goodness. And stopping a Grinch. She said, stopping a Grinch. And what are we getting Mom and Dad for Christmas? I told you we weren't reading that one out.

Well, whatever Brooke buys, I will then pay for... Put your name on the card. Oh, here's a great question to kick things off. Why aren't all economists billionaires if they can predict the future of our economy? Oh, because, yeah, no, no, it's a great one. Probably because we predict everything and then none of it completely comes true

because unlike weather forecasters, right? Weather forecasters, they tell it's going to rain, they can't influence the clouds. Economic forecasters, you'll listen to what we say and then you directly make sure it doesn't happen because you react to it. I say things are going to be tough, everyone goes and tries to shelter themselves,

and then it changes the economy. That's how get out of jail free card. Oh yeah, I like that one. Right. I like that one. Is it worth buying a house or renting? What do we do with our $10,000 savings? I don't know if you're going to use 10K to necessarily outright buy a house, but hey, it's an option.

I think the big one at the moment, because a lot of people are talking about either investing or what they want to do with their own home, the difficulty compared to a couple of years ago on the housing market, you used to just be able to buy it like any house and it just made megabucks. Like a couple of years ago, you were better to be made of weatherboard than flesh and bone in terms of earning potential. Not now, of course. When you say a couple of years, you meant more than a couple. Well, it's 20... Oh, okay, a few?

Yeah. What, three back? 2020, 2020, 2021, 22? That's three years ago. Highed the market, wouldn't it? Yeah, that's the thing. That was making megabucks at that time. And so everyone was getting into it.

Now, that's been challenging recently. The point, though, is that if you're thinking about housing or similar, you are having to think about it much more as a long-term play. You're not going to make a whole bunch of cash on it in terms of big capital gains or anything short-term. Those days are gone, Derrickon? Do you think people have been burned? been burnt by the last five years? Definitely. And look, I'm not going to lie,

I actually think, and I know this is tough to hear, I still think it's one of the best things we've done as a country, is move away from just being housing the most important economic trend ever. Now we're just having to be a little bit more sensible. So yes, people are making money still sometimes as investors or as landlords. But you've got to pick the right house,

you've got to have the right structures instead of just blindly fumbling into a house and going, you know what, I'm now a millennia. So kind of few questions. Giday Brad, said someone. Is there any reason why I shouldn't be leaving for Australia? A lot of people I know going over the ditch and getting more money, better paying jobs.

Well, yeah, I mean, look, there are, of course, quite a lot of Kiwis going, highest numbers ever heading out of the country and heading off to Oz. Snakes, snakes, snakes, and that's the thing. I mean, it's one of those things. There's still more people moving to New Zealand than they are moving out of New Zealand. So where are they coming from?

They're coming from a whole bunch of places? We know that the two biggest... No. Are we not getting more lovely brown-skinned, light-eyed people? Well, we get some. the likes of the Philippines, China, India, those are sort of the top contributors. But, look, I think the thing is, yeah, there's sometimes different opportunities in other countries. Yes, there's also, you know, snake spiders, everything else.

I think it depends on sort of the life you're living, the job you've got. One of the reasons, for example, we know that New Zealanders come back to New Zealand is often because they're about to have kids and they want some family support. And you can't get them in Australia if your parents are living here. Yeah, totally. It's horses for courses. If you've found an opportunity, then, hey, maybe it is worthwhile looking at. but if you've got a good opportunity in New Zealand at the moment,

then it's worthwhile sort of tossing up, is the grass always greener, or are you just being led by what everyone else is saying? It's just not easy. I've been there a lot in the last, like, this year alone. It's not that much cheaper when you go out to the supermarket. This is what you hear often, right, not only about Australia, but also, you know,

I've got a lot of friends in London who say, like, yes, I make a lot more money and I also have to pay a lot more money for, like, the tube and everything else. So if you're earning money in a different country, then you might be more sort of same same in terms of what you're spending out at the same time higher earnings, high spending. So it depends on your lifestyle opportunities

and everything else. You know, people go across to Australia sometimes for a quick burst and then come back they go to Europe because they can go and travel around. I like New Zealand. Maybe more sugar daddies in London though. Yeah, definitely some rich posh daddies. Yeah, and notting hell or something.

Okay, here's one. My partner and I own our own home and are debating renovating our kitchen. I'm for the kitchen renovation is the person that seems to spend most of her day in the kitchen, but my partner isn't as it's not our forever home. Is it worth spending the money on this as it won't be our forever home, but definitely will be for the next few years?

Well, it comes down to how much probably time you do spend in the kitchen. Like if that's a pretty important thing to you, then I could understand wanting to upgrade it a bit? I guess the challenge that could you compromise a bit more? Maybe it's not the full Renault that you want to do, but what are the few, like, top three things that you could do to the kitchen to make it a little bit better so you can get that past your partner, but also so that you've got a more comfortable experience?

because I get that. It doesn't need to be your dream kitchen, right? No, the challenge I worry a lot sometimes with how people approach money is that we sometimes, and I'm not saying go out and absolutely spend it, but I worry that sometimes we say, you know what, let's save up for the long term, at the expense always of the short term. And like, yes, you want to have savings for retirement, absolutely. But I don't know if you want to get to retirement age and go,

gosh, it's nice to have all this money that now I can't spend because I'm old and decrepit and can't use it. Like there is a balance here to getting it right. You need to save for the future. We also need to live your life. Did we answer the question about what you should do with your mortgage at the moment? No, I was sort of worried. Look, not financial advice has always gone and talk to a professional and all those bits and bobs.

But we are seeing, certainly after the last reserve bank change, interest rates came down, but people have also been sort of worrying that interest rates might be about to go up in a year's time. So people are... I just don't want to hear that. The one redeeming quality of this year has been interest rates coming down and I demand they stay down.

I'm not saying they're going to go up massively. I'm just saying they could go up a touch. Now, importantly, that means that for people that might have changed their mortgage earlier this year, they might not have too much for change come, you know, a year's time. But just worth keeping that in mind, that's why, you know, put it this way, people are starting to opt for slightly longer mortgages.

You know, previously it was like six months or even just floating. Now it's more sort of a year. You're seeing some people that are going, hey, is 4.99% for five years too long, too big? And for a lot of people, they're going, well, you know what, it's a long time, but it's really stable. I can see the budget around it.

Yeah, one more question. What about I'm getting a sum of money soon? Is it better to pay down the mortgage, which means I would have less than $100,000 left to pay off? Oh, that'd be nice. Or should I invest the money? I'm early 30s if that makes a difference. Oh, yeah, it probably does make a difference.

I think it's probably, you'd want to look at what your various interest rates are, if you think you could, and your risk tolerance, it's one of those things if, I'm not saying you should do this, but what you'd weigh up there is how much your mortgage repayment rate might be, let's say it's, I don't know, 5.5%. If you think you can make a continual return from the stock market at 7%, then maybe that is a better bet. But you'd have to be willing to go through all the ups and downs of the AI market,

blowing up every Friday or whatever in your stock market, sort of going up and down. So it's on risk tolerance, it's sort of understanding what's going to make you feel more comfortable. Are you a defensive person and a more aggressive person? How are you balancing that out? Someone just want to text in and want to say that Brad's a cutie. There you go. That's not a question.

That's a great way to finish, isn't it? Brad's cutie. Brad Alson. Thank you so much. Chief Executive Principal, Big Dog at Infametrics. Thank you so much. Lovely to see you, team. The LAMS cast network.

The lovely Patsy Sprower, your mum, Haley. Yes. Fix my top. Yeah, well, you asked me to fix the hole in your top because you didn't cut out your tags. You just ripped them out. Well, because you know some of the tags on clothes, they just rip out easy. Yeah.

And this looked like a rip-out easy tag. And when it wasn't ripping, I just tugged harder. Yes, I ripped a hole in my brand-new t-shirt. And the lovely, and she's folded it up like a mum does. She's stitched it up. Oh, it's like I haven't had a look. I just picked it up off, it's like it's been picked up off the, like, shelf at the shop. Got washed as well.

Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, that's nice. I was just going to have a little look. Oh, look at that. You can't even tell. You can't even tell. Oh, no, that's your. other side. Oh no, that is the right side.

Did she match the colour thread or didn't worry about it? She went to the shop and got navy thread. Are you kidding me? Oh, Patsy Patsy. She's too nice. You can't even tell. It's like she's worked in a sweatshop all over life. Look at the fold on that. The quality on that. I know the fold. And so I add, because I'm not friends with Patsy on Facebook because I don't use Facebook. Yeah, well, she's 65, so she loves Facebook. And I know Vaughn you've, but you always mess to Patsy on Facebook. So I was like, well, I'll add Patsy on Facebook. Yeah.

And I'll send her a message. What did you say? I said, oh my God, Patsy, thank you so much. with a sewing fix-up. It's as good as new. You're amazing ex-o-X-O. You love this. And then she has accepted my friend request and then just love-hearted it

and that's it. Yeah. Like is she mad at me? Because like she's had to fix my top. Like what? God, you sound like a Gen Z when you reply over the sentence and use proper punctuation. Finish your sentence with a full stop. And they're like, what have I done? What have I done? Why do you hate me? This is my mum to a tea. Like

if you said it to her in person, she'd, oh, thank you. No, no, no, no. On Messenger, she's boomer heavy. Like, she will just go, the thumbs up. The heart is more than I get. Oh, really? Okay. Thumbs up, everything.

Thumbs up, thumbs up. Thumbs up. But why don't they say something like, oh, that's no problem at all? You know, like. Probably because she's mad at you. She's mad at me. She's mad at you. She's time poor.

Yeah. Because my mum will do, you know, the odd heart or thumbs up sometimes, or that good? Yeah. Or just a good. Yeah. I said to my mum only on Monday. I'm so exhausted, but I'm really excited to put up the Christmas tree today. That's my little tree.

I'll come home, sleep till I wake and tree up. Thumbs up. Okay, right. So I shouldn't be reading too much into this. She's not mad. Okay, she is. Oh my gosh. Have you seen the new Naked Gun remake with Pam and Liam?

I think it's on theplex. Let's watch it all tomorrow. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. Okay. That's Patsy. She loves a thumbs up. So she's either just thumbs uping you.

I mean, you've got to love her. It's more. Okay, so I'm reading too much into this. No, no, she's mad at you. She's messaged man. Oh, okay. She's steaming mad. Yeah, she's like that little guy.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flash forne and Haley. Lovely listeners, we would like to know what did you lie about to get a job? Little white lie or maybe a massive one. Give us a call or a text because Channing Tatum and Kirsten Dance were promoting their new film. And in the film,

Channing's Tatum No, that's when there's two of them Yeah, Channing's Tatum Channing and Tatum his character lies to get a job and so the interview was asking him and Kirsten

have they ever lied to get a job and he said for the great iconic 2006 rom-com with Amanda Bynes She's the Man Jewry Watch I reckon he lied and said that he did play soccer because his character's on the soccer team

and he got the job and he had to quickly learn how to Now, in that film, does he actually play soccer that much? No, no, no, it's totally fine for a film like that. He said, I was pretty athletic, so I faked it as much as I needed to. Anyone was like, what? You were athletic? We didn't even notice.

And Kirsten Dunst said, like, earlier, earlier when she was a child actress and she did an ad, it was a halls commercial, and it was ice skating, and she said she could do it, and she got the job and was, like, slip sliding around. That's, you're going to come a mischief. Ice skating's so much harder than it looks. It's so hard. There's some things you wouldn't lie about. That would definitely be one of them.

A friend of mine's been applying for jobs lately and I was just like, why don't you just lie? She's like, can't lie. And she's like, you forget you're a white man. Yeah. White men lie and then if they can't do it, they're like, well, you already gave me the job. I guess I'll show me how.

I've definitely oversold my accent work before. Yeah, you have. Yeah, there's a list of them. Especially your Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. Oh my God Get to the chopper How is it getting worse?

How is it getting worse? I'm going in a chopper soon to report on the traffic Oh my God, Vaughn's in the chopper Use that as your method It's terrible Get to the chaper Oh it's IKEA day

Von get to the chaper Von get to the chaper Von get to the chaper It's not getting better It's not getting better It's not getting better Yeah well it's on my CV that I can I've definitely done it

Like they were like Do you know how to use this Some music program And I was like, yeah, of course I do. And then just told myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easier to fake it until you make it now more than ever before. Especially with chat GPT.

Someone just texting, well, does it count? I told my employees that my mental health is in tip-top form. Yep, we'll take that one. We'll take it. 0800 dials at him. We'd love you to call us now and tell us. You can text in as well, 9-696. What did you lie about to get a job?

What you lied about to get your job? Yes, Channing Tatum said that he could play soccer to do She's the Man, and Kirsten Dunst said she could ice skate to be in an ad. They can't do none of those things. Lies, lies, lies. Someone said I recently looked up someone who used to work for me and her LinkedIn profile for that job as an absolute fabrication. Basically lists all of my managerial tasks that I did as her own when she was at this company.

Wow. Neve, good morning. What did you lie about to get the job? I told me my job I can do CPR. Neathe. That is kind of a matter of life or death. Don't put me in that situation, please. Yeah, so did you ever have to do it? Or thankfully, no?

Thank God no, but it's not drinking, please. Yeah, I mean, I reckon if you've got the job still, go learn how to do it. Oh, no, just fake it. Like how, oh, stand the line. Oh, to be honest. No, no, you're going too fast. And then just feel like, I tried.

I hate my job So honestly If anybody's in that situation Don't come to me I'm not going to Sorry If I was the local CPR expert And I'd lied

When it came time I'd faint And so the pressure Made me pass out Yes Exactly Give it a sympathy too Neve, thank you

Kimberly What did you lie about To get your job So I've always worked In customer service Since I was 14 And I always in interviews Talk about

How much I love Working with people Okay And I hate people. I'm getting. I can hear it. Yeah, you can hear it. You hate talking to us.

Although they are, Kimberly, people are the worst. Actually, the pets. They are. I'd rather work with dogs. What's your worst customer service? Like, what someone said to you or done? The worst. I worked in a hotel once.

Okay. It was like mostly business people that stay. Actually, it was a quest. Okay. Well, there's no need to drag them. And one of the guys. Like a service department. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the regular. customers came down and said to me that I purposely put him in a room next to a crying baby was that was that me

was that was that me I'd say something like that you would say exactly those words Kimberly thank you Emily what did you lie about to get a job I lied that I could drive a manual okay and then what did you do when you actually had to drive the manual Oh, well, there's only one way to learn, I guess.

Yeah, just in first gear the whole way. Yeah, yeah. I, like, learned a couple weeks before the job, I tried to learn in my friend's, like, scungy little Toyota Corolla. Yeah. And I just had to hop in a four-wheel drive for my first day of the job. Give it a little bit more. They liked it the same thing.

I said I could drive a manual, and then it was for a TV show, and they had a camera mounted on the bonnet of a 70s manual car. Oh, they're hard to drive. And then they were like, off you go and then you sort of just sort of crank it around a bit and soon I'm in third and I just didn't stop. The poor old mate that owned that owned that car hearing you crunching gears. Emily, thank you some messages in when you lied about getting a job, what you lied about

to get a job. I lied and I said I had a grade five, I was a grade five raft guide for a drop in Queensland. Now I feel like you probably need to know what you're doing. You're taking a bunch of tourists down a whitewood of raft. Yeah. People's lives are in your hands there, aren't they? Yeah. In the UK, I said I had a driver's license for a job. I got the job. I had two weeks to get my license.

I discovered yesterday that half of this office that I work and listens to your show, therefore what I said in my interview is 100% true and definitely no part of it was a lie. Love it. I lied and said that I was competent in using Excel. Nobody's competent. You cannot fake Excel. Also, everything, you can just look up YouTube hacks on that, because I did that the other day, how to add two things at once.

Wow. Two rows. I know, no big deal. I need to learn how to copy formatted cells. I'm pretty good at Excel. We could do an Excel session at mine. Cocktails. Cocktails and excels.

Yeah, trouble is it all goes in one ear at the other when there's a couple of espresso martinis. Yeah, when a slush your machine's working. Yeah. They made me do a test for my interview to create in-depth spreadsheets for director reports. Somehow, I got the job. What? They got the job. They got the job.

They must be hot. They must be hot and great at faking. Great work. All anybody can ever ask, well, someone's fake and hot, and, you know, they're willing to fake? Play. Play, Z-N. Flesh for him and Haley. It's time for.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do do do do do do, do do do do do to do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. He boosted the wrong button, didn't they? Yeah, he did. He did. I thought today in Vandalism Week, we'd look at some high-profile New Zealand vandalism cases.

Oh, okay. Of course, one of the most popular is the decapitation of Captain Cook statues. Yeah. What did he do? Oh. He couldn't even hold on to it. So the denaing Captain Cook's been covered in red paint countless times. in Gisbon in 2019, his head was knocked off

and in Auckland often graffitied attempts to topple, etc. Yeah. The other one, the Oamaru painted penguins heist. What was that? Omaru has a seaside walkway with a cute set of painted concrete penguins. Oh, penguins? Pungolins. Pungalins.

Pemondit, Cumberbatch says. And then they kept getting stolen. The council replaced them and they got stolen again. So now that they've been bolted down. I don't know the current state. Fletch, you're looking up there, or Aramaru, Seaside Penguins? No, I was looking at the infamous Auckland City taggers and graffitias. Like the names?

Bloom. Yes, bloom and pork. Pork! I've seen a lot of lately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the Christchurch one? Remember post-Christchurch earthquakes? Sandra. Oh, yeah, Sandy.

Sandy. Sandy, yeah. It was on all the buildings. How did you get there, your cheeky bugger? Yeah. Because after the earthquake, Christchurch became one of the most graffitied cities. in the southern hemisphere. Togo, that's what it was.

Togo, yes. Art or Vandal? Probably say Vandal. You know Bansy, mate. Because there was a lot of street art that was commissioned in Christchurch. Oh my God, my God, Christchurch. The street out of run, Christchurch is amazing.

It's so beautiful. But, you see, that's with permission in its art. Yes. Whereas, like, someone's, like, logo graffiti name. It's like, get a grip, mate. Yeah.

Of our big things, the O'Hakuni carrot is the thing that gets most attacked. Oh. You wrote your name on that carrot once, didn't you? Yeah, I did. Oh, mate.

Vaughan Smith. I wrote it and cray on it. It was very easy to remove you. Contact me. Painted, tagged, climbed and sticker bombed because of the snowboardist. Oh, yes. Why does snowboarders... They love stickers.

They love stickers. They love stickers. They love stickers. They love stickers. You know why it's too cold to get you, take your mittens off to get a vivid out. Do you remember the situation where someone put giant balls at the bottom of the Ocunee carrot? Oh my God, I love it. The council had to officially remove them.

How does the council detach the balls from the carers? I don't know what the balls were made of. That's funny though. That's comedy. That's funny. In 2013, this was vandalism. Somebody opened the storage valves and dumped about 40,000 liters of milk. And the Waikato.

Oh, dear. Yeah. Either Daneda true top or green. No, you'd go yellow top. Kelsi trim. Yeah. If you were going to dump it into the, I think it might have just been raw. Okay.

Raw milk. I didn't know that the Dunedin train station, they say one of New Zealand's most photographed buildings. I would believe one of New Zealand's most, I will simply not believe it's the Southern Hemisphere's most photographed building because of the Sydney Opera House. And the Skytower alone. I see people every day when I want to pass.

Taking photos. But it is also highly sought after with Daneden Taggers to have their scrawl displayed on the Daneden train station. It sparked a graffiti war. and it costs the council tens of thousands of dollars to put up anti-graffiti coating. Right. To stop the habit.

I've always sort of be quite a funny idea because I live in the city and there's so much tagging. You've caught a tag, mid-tag. Yeah, that's right. I remember the police turned up in. But I always sort of be really funny to make a giant white billboard and leave a ladder or some scaffolding up to it

but have a trapdoor underneath it and then when they're graffitiing, you just flick a switch and catch them in a net. Yeah, big net. And then you spray paint them or dip them into a giant tub of paint. And then say, how does that feel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Liz, we should do a TV show like that.

That would be fun. How does that feel? You might face various legalists use. That TV show that used to lock the car burglars in the car and fill it with phone. That was funny. That's funny stuff. What was that called? That TV show.

And they did a whole range of things. These guys were stealing a car. Was it the guy with the giant phone and it was like do-d-d-d-d-d-d-l-do. And he was in the movies with like a one-meter-long phone? Yeah, maybe. Was it that guy? Jolly? I can't remember. The best one was where they went in to steal the car

and the car locked them in and then they pulled the car into a cage and paraded them around town. Yes, see, that would be brilliant doing stuff like that. Public shaming's funny. But you can't do that now because it's like embarrassing. Yeah. I'm going to watch it out. So today's fact of the day is New Zealand has had its fair share on high profile vandalism cases.

Fact of the day, day, day, day. Duda to do to do to do to do Dip to do Dip to do Dip to do Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo All right Get to the chaper

Vaughan The ZMPCast Network Play ZM's Fletch Fawn and Haley Ikea today is finally opening in New Zealand They reckon there'll be Between 11 and a half to 16,000

Daily Visitors in the opening months of IKEA with the peak day estimates up to 20,000. So they've opened their car park at 8.30, but the shop's not only until 11 in order to let people get to work. Yes. And

traffic's going to be crazy. Now we are crossing to Vaughan, who I believe has managed to acquire the Mowbray's helicopter. Apparently he believes he's flying the helicopter. All in the drink. Gooday, guys.

Sorry, I'm just running my free flight check. Okay, right. Yeah. Very hard. It's very noisy. Avionics Radio set transponded AOC. Right. Sorry.

Where did you get your pilot's license? Guys, no, hold on just one minute. Alltwin, Traffic Jet Ranger, ZK. VG. Okay. He's obviously not flying. Southwesterly here. Okay. Can you not pretend that you're flying yourself because it's very windy.

Obviously, nobody believes that you can fly a helicopter. Feeding in a little power. Okay, right. Wow. I'm in the Bell 2.06 Jet Ranger, by the way. Bell 2 of 6 Jet Ranger. That sounds lovely. Yeah, that's right.

So obviously when the pilot takes off, when I take off, yeah. Okay, right. Sure. Okay. Are you not? Actually, you're just spitting a little power. Light on the skit. Okay, right.

And lifting. Whereabouts are you going to... Oh, a bit of a kick from the southwesterly. Yeah, it's a bit gusty today, isn't it? You've got to be careful up there? She's weather-vaning like she's got opinions. I'll tell you what. Canter in that?

Okay. He's Googled some... I think Chachypd might have given him a script here. I think so. Okay, so we're about since the pilot... We're about since the pilot going to take you over the motor. We're going to get up over IKEA. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Us air jockeys call it a... Air jockeys.

We call it God's view up here. We're... Yeah. ...down over the peasants and their four wheels. Yeah, yeah. At ground level. And we're going to be heading over to C. how the traffic's building around IKEA.

Okay, if people are in traffic now on the motorway in Auckland around IKEA, what colour is your helicopter? Black. Black. Oh, lovely. I thought it might be white. Well, if you want.

If anyone's got flight radar, open that up, you'll see me a helicopter. Okay. Will you take waves? Yeah. Will you accept some waves out the window? Yeah, I would say waves. I'll beep the horn and stuff for people.

Okay, lovely. And then you'll be able to tell us... You guys probably don't know the helicopters have horns. I don't know. I had a horn. I didn't know they had horns either, actually. Yeah. Also, if you're in traffic, give us a text, 96696, vibes.

Because we've got, what did you call it, God's View? God's view, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd love to know what the traffic is like around Sylvia Park, around the IKEA opening. So you're looking at the traffic cams already. It looks all right. It looks normal. It looks normal to me. Okay, all right, well, Vaughn will cross back to you next.

And hopefully, how long is it going to take you to get there? And a helicopter, not long at all. And you're sure you know how to fly this thing. That's positive. Don't encourage his passenger pilot dream. Let me have this love of fantasy. Roger that. They don't even say Roger that.

Over. Joining us, I believe, Nicola. Good morning, Nicola. Hang on, I'm just going to wait there, Nicola. I'm just going to pop Borns up in the eye in the sky. I'm going to pump him on a hold. He's too loud. Yeah.

Nicola, you're on the ground. Yeah, so I was coming down the southern motorway, and I left early for work anticipating a lot of traffic, and I don't think I've ever seen the motorway soon as big. I know, I know. This is what we're hearing is that the IKEA news has scared people so much. They've either left super early, or they've made other arrangements like public transport.

So you would personally say that us getting a literal helicopter organized was sort of a waste of money? potentially but I mean it's fun isn't it well it is it is let's just bring Vaughn back in Nicola who is our eye in the sky and our expensive chartered helicopter yeah good morning guys I will say Nicola it's not fun it's a serious job I'm up here if I was clowning around up here and crashed things could happen you know yeah you're quite right Nicola can I ask you still in your car What kind of car have you got?

And Vaughn, can you see her? I'm in a silver car. She's in a silver car. She's in a silver car. Many people. Okay. Whereabouts is your silver car, Nicola? Well, now I've pulled off and I'm coming down Highbrook, so I've kind of

better off. Oh, you know, I'm not over Highbrook right now. I could go over there, but it seems like we'd use a lot of fuel just to spot a silver car. Yeah. How many silver cars can you see, Vaughn? Five. Five. Five.

Five. Okay, well, thank you, Nicola, thank you more, and we'll come back next. Well, do you know, I want to ask me more questions. We've paid for this helicopter, it feels like. Well, I mean, well, what's the traffic like? Well, you know, I'm personally in debt because I've learned how to fly a helicopter. I was keeping the secret about I've been to a helicopter school. Nobody believes you're flying that helicopter more.

Yeah, no one believes it, mate. Flying the helicopter? Yeah. Well, what's the traffic line? No, no, she's right. It's pretty clear. Yeah, really clear. Oh, my God.

What a waste of money this is. Do you want to fly back? to the studio, I mean, it's sort of... Wow. I filled it up with gas, as all. I feel like we should use our gas. Again, nobody believes you're flying that helicopter. Right, well, I tell you what...

I'll tell you, like... Do not let him push the buttons, Nicola. We don't want him. We'll come back to you next. If we could have some motorway on-ramp, off-ramp, kind of like traffic, jargon, some reports, because we've paid for you to be up there.

We may as well do what we've said in there. Are you allowed to, like I could do, I could, I could Google that. Am I allowed to fly a helicopter and be on my phone? Is it like car rules or are we? Well, we don't encourage it. George is in. Guys, this is a ho.

Where's Vaughan at? No, mate. He's in the sky. I'm right here, Georgia. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. How are you? Our eye in the sky over IKEA for the grand opening.

And I believe this may be the biggest waste of money in the history of radio because it turns out, Vaughn, that there is no traffic. It's way quieter than usual. I've actually got an official traffic report. I'll read you. Okay. Okay, here we go. All right, Oakville, we're up here in the jet range.

You're running there southwestern. He's like a budget fee park, right? And having a good look at the morning. Motorized misery. Starting down South State Highway 1 from Papakuro through Monaco's running free and easy. Good speeds, no pinchpoint. Northbound past Otahoo. Otahoo is flown beautifully all the way to the Penrose merge.

Smoother than a butter chicken sauce. But that is Auckland. So from Penrose through to Greenland, your usual peak our compression zone. speeds drop into sub-duty, heavy lane weaving, lots of brake lights. Classic staff there. So we're going over to the northwest, an absolute chokehold from Tiata 2-22. How's he doing this and flying the chopper? I'm worried.

It's not concentrating. We just had a few Texan if I could reflect. A lot of people struggling to find you in flight radar. Suspicion's rising that you are, in fact, not flying the chopper. In fact, someone texts in saying that no one believes you are. Up the Norman, it's a proper car park in motion He's just decided to more there Basically one long continuous queue

A quick check of the area No IKEA related congestion Are you kidding me? I mean it doesn't open until 11 And that's why they did this right But also like for weeks There's been signs on every motorway sign That's like plan an alternative route

On December 4th IKEA's coming Ikea's coming So I think everybody just got scared Yeah. Well, big waste of company money. I think we might be getting in trouble. It is. Actually see Ross Boss is coming to studio so you might not want to return Vaughn.

Enjoy your scenic flight, Vaughn? Yeah, thanks guys. It's a beautiful day out and across. Somerkey, Mercado, Orleans. Okay, thank you. What I will say, if radio fails, he'd be pretty good at a tour guide on a helicopter. Yeah, not bad. Not bad.

I'm not getting in a chop of that. Vaughan's flying, though. Okay, nobody believes he's flying the helicopter. Oh, another one in the bag. And it's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy? I'm just reading what's written here.

Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.