ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - February 25th 2026

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

On Today's Big Pod, Your coffee might cost $10.50 Office chair butt Top 6 - Questionable moves from Health NZ Shannon's Crock pot SLP - Do you ever dream about your ex? Second marriage at first sight Who are you beefing with? Heated Rivalry is inspiring the masses Cringiest date you've been on? Fact of the day Hayley has a present for Fletch Shannon's Hack Not enough for the News News 1 in 3 have less then $500 in their savings Hayley taxidermy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands of the lowest prices. Good morning. Fletch Worn and Haley, welcome to the show. Another chance this morning for you to win cash with our game Cash Snap. 7 o'clock and 9.

And there has been, there was a lot of debate after the show yesterday at the timing of the cash snap countdown. We've had a tutu. We've had a small tutu. We started Monday. It was apparently two fun. Warren, you said too fast. Way too fast. No, too slow.

And then yesterday you said too fast. Too fast. Yeah. Today, have we found our Goldilocks? Have we got it right on? Well, I've received the updated timing. Do you guys want to practice now? Yep.

This is how cash... Go raw. So, for those that don't know, this is how Cash Networks. You are on the line with another caller. You both pick a number between 1 and 5. You get a 3-2-1 countdown. If you both say the same number at the same time, you win the cash. We had a jackpot yesterday that was won, $400.

I'm going to be a character. Hello, it's me, Margaret, big fan. Oh, long time listener, first time caller. Oh. Okay, you're up against me. You're up against me. Too early over this shit. Oh, bring it on.

I haven't had a coffee yet. Okay. Okay, you ready? Three, two, one. Five. Oh, yes, the timing. Great timing. I think that was better time.

Better timing. Well, that's the timing that you need to play the game and win the cash. And because we had a jackpot yesterday that was one, we're back to $200 your chance to call through just before the news at 7 o'clock and play. Also, eat rave love. Giving you the chance to win a euro sum, you can go on the drawer at 8 o'clock this morning. The top six as well as soon? Yeah, the top six questionable moves from HealthNZ.

They've decided to just hand out thousands of free vapes. This is pretty wild. It's crazy. It's pretty wild. Pretty wild. Pretty wild. Pretty wild. I mean, it stops people smoking, but

like now you're getting... A lot of people who they didn't ever smoke. No. Yeah, that's true. So they get hooked on nicotine? Yeah. The odd way. I guess you have to qualify for one though.

Yeah. We'll deal with that in the top six. Yeah, but next, I just said I haven't had a coffee. 966, what's the maximum you'd pay for a coffee? The Fletch born and Haley, big pod. Flat White. New Zealand invention? I won't hear any

won't enter debate. Well, it was, yeah. It did just the debate ends there. Yeah, I think we'll just full stop that. Yep. Full stop. Done. Well, a flat white,

according to flight coffee managing director Richard Corny said a flat white and Wellington should be costing you about $10.50. Oh, God, we love a flight coffee. Flight coffee's good, eh? So good. Yeah, they do a good bean.

So it should be costing $10.50. 10.50? It should be. Charging under $7 means cafes are subsidising their coffee. You might be thinking, why? Yeah. Because did you know the price of chocolate's gone down?

Finally. No, but chocolate's still expensive to buy, though, isn't they haven't put their prices back down? Cheeky. Like petrol prices, what do they say? Up like a rocket down like a feather. Yeah. I saw a big block of Whitakas the other day

that wasn't on special at the supermarket. It was like $8 something. I was like, $5. What? Yeah, but it's not 2016. What? What? That's down to those prices.

Really? Okay. So these are the reasons why a coffee should cost $10.50. Wages are rising. Rent and insurance keep increasing. Milk and other inputs are more expensive. And cafes are got to pay for equipment, trading, compliance, utilities, etc. True. So everything goes up.

Everything goes up. The coffee must go up. Everything goes up. But the thing is, if campaigns have $10 coffees, no one's going to buy a coffee. Well, to be fair, there's a couple of places around us for the coffee. And one of them is $10. for an iced oat milk latte. Is it?

Which is wild because it's frozen water. So what it is is it's frozen water, a shot of coffee and a bit of almond milk. Yeah. Or oat milk or whatever. So people who buy the beans to roast them, look at the coffee makers, which is a situation with flight

because you go in there and they're roasting it and it smells nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They buy the beans on long contracts. So they sign up, it's like when you lock in an interest rate with the bank and an interest rate to go down and you're like, this isn't fair, but you're locked in a longer, a longer thing.

So that's why you don't immediately sit down. I'm thinking perhaps that's the reason why we haven't seen an immediate dip in chocolate price. That and consumerism and capitalism. But, yeah. Bring up a very good point. You'd never question paying, you know, $15 for a cocktail. Would you? $15?

Well, that'd be a-pay more. That's a cheap cocktail. That's a cheap cocktail. That's a special cocktail. Yeah. Like you're paying 18 to 25. But it's kind of one. I mean, I love a cafe,

and we are a cafe culture country, but I, if you buy a hundred coffees at $10, that's $1,000, you might as well just buy a coffee machine that are like around about $1,000 for a nice one at home. How much of the pods, though? No, no, no, not pot.

But then you've got to buy the beans. Then you've got to buy the beans, and then it's still expensive. No, I know, but I'm going eventually. Yeah, it pays for its app. Yeah, the de-scale. Do you know, just on the chocolate? Um, mum sent me a link to a story yesterday.

They're putting Cadbury chocolate in lockboxes in the supermarket in the UK. People are stealing them. Apparently it's organised crime. Have you seen... Chocolates. Have you seen... Did you see the new flavour, the Cadbury Biscophe? I have seen that.

Yes, I saw that in the supermarket yesterday. I haven't seen it in person, but a couple of people have sent me pictures. I've seen it in person. I haven't tasted it in person. Right. We have to remedy that. I saw the banana caramel Whitaker's back and that was my favourite. Favorite special a dish. Oh, damn.

Why are we talking about chocolate? Why I was going to say we were just saying how expensive it is and now we've sort of convinced ourselves that we need to buy it. Yeah. Well, I think to balance it, you've got your free Macona. It's not free. I buy it. Well, free because you've already paid for the jar.

Yeah. The water at work is free. And the milk is free. Yeah. So that set you back. Nothing really a dollar. And it doesn't have to be. Oh, I've got lots of have metem.

It's got moof, yeah. And you're having a one from the work coffee machine free. That needs the scaling, but the, but in the maintenance is locked with a pin code, so I can't get into press de-scaling on that. I don't do the work coffee machine after that maggot incident from a few years ago. Remember the maggots? Yeah, but again, I don't touch the milk. I have black coffee.

And didn't we have bugs in the Milo as well? We had weevils. We had weevils in the Milo and maggots in the coffee. We had wev was in all the dry goods. The Fletchhorn and Haley. Big pod. We live in a sedentary world, don't we, really? Lots of people sitting down all day.

We sit down all morning and then kind of... Go home and sit down. Yeah, go home and sit down on like a softer thing. Some call it a couch. Yep. Some call it just go to bed. But office girlies, this has gone viral on your TikToks and your social medes. Office chair butt.

This is the big concern. I'm going to stand. We're all on office chairs. Office chair butt. It's a term describing a weaker, less toned backside caused by prolonged sitting. So these are your corporate girlies. Yeah, I mean, if you're nine to five,

you're sitting all day, aren't you? Glute muscle inactivity and deconditioning. We're sitting on it, we're squishing it. What if you're on your lunch break, you're doing a class, a gym class or a gym? That'll help. Okay. So a lot of people, people saying it's not,

you're not actually getting an office chair butt from generally sitting on your ad. and squishing it, it's just from being sedentary and just sitting down and not doing enough glute exercises, like your squats and your wotts and your lunges. So if you gym every day or every, if you're jiming every few days, you're going to be fine. Yeah, but you can also, but if you can't do that, alternate, this is, because producer girlies, you're sit down currently as we are. I would say we sit down for a lot longer than you guys do as well.

Because once we go home, do you know, once we go home, they stay. and work to make our show better. Yeah. Yeah. It's incredible. It's crazy. Why isn't it working? There was this whole thing yesterday about this game we're playing called Cash Nap,

and it was just like crazy, man. Wow. Change a timer. Yeah, because Haley was demanding a timer change. I was still here for that chat. I am demanding a time chain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, office but is this a concern of yours?

Look, until you've said it out loud, no. But now, maybe this is my issue. It's not to do with the facts that I don't have time to work out. It's actually the chairs. But have you seen those, there's some guys. I think there's a guy over there and he stands on a standing desk. Yeah. There's a couple of people in our office that have standing desk.

I know, I couldn't do it. The Crying Stewart Studios got a stat. That goes up and down. You can apply for it here, but you have to prove that you need it. So maybe we could send this article and say, do you want us to have a flat ass? Flat ass. Because everyone knows it's 2026. It's a fat ass, not a flat ass that we want.

Yeah. So here's some ways that you can. you can fight office chair but if it's a huge concern for you. Alternate sitting and standing. We did that a little bit on the show, not you so much because you're tethered to the buttons. I like that you've both just stood up. Like you think that that's going to do anything?

No, but it is wrong. Well, my Apple Watch died, but it would always be like, stand up. You haven't stood and I'd be like, that's shocking I've been sitting for so long. I've been sat still. Hours can pass, right? But luckily, we get to get out of here and then move. Move for the rest of the day.

Yeah, if you were stuck in an office all day. 30 to 45 minute intervals to set a little beep-beep timer. Stand up if you can, if you've got a standing desk. Otherwise, stand up and then just hunch over weirdly. Or go to the... Just ruin your back instead. Ruin your back instead. Or take a walk around the office to the vending machine and get some lollies.

Lollies and snacks and chocolate. That's a great idea. Great tip. Hot tip. Fitness tips with fletch. Office guts. That's office gut. We're dealing with the butt right now, so that's fine.

Workday tweaks. So if you're someone who is on your laptop all the time, at least make it a rule to stand for your phone calls. You know what I mean? So then that's just a little thing. Walk to colleagues instead of emailing. If you're like, I need you to do this, take a little walk. How do we feel about that, though?

Would you rather have an email from a colleague or someone come in, consulate, and be like, hey, can I just do this? Can we do this? Hi. I prefer a chat because sometimes it's easier to convey how annoyed you are. In real life, a phone stop doesn't hit sometimes. Yeah. No, it does.

your generation. Geez, Louise, you put a full stop on the end of a text. Are you okay? You angry at me? Not all Gen Zs. No, no, we've got cool Gen Zses.

But yeah. Sometimes I just email the Gen Zs in the office, full stop, full stop, full stop, full stop. And then they just... They panic maps. Viral and full mountdown. Yeah. And they're all in screaming.

It's terrible. The Z&M Podcast Network. From the Fletchborn and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Hi. Healthy NZ. is distributing over 7,000 vaping devices and 67, 67,000 refills in just two months

as it ramps up its free vape program for smokers. Which is so wild. I mean, yes, smoking is bad and it's... We don't know the long-term effects of vaping, though, right? But that's the thing we don't. This has got big 1950s, 9 out of 10 doctors recommend Joe Camel's cigarettes. Yeah.

It really does. Why wouldn't they just give out nicotine? patches and gum and all the stuff. But isn't that the idea that you get people on the vapes and then when the smokes go, then you can control the vapes and then phase over out? I don't know. It's including flavors such as tobacco,

standard flavour and peach mint. Standard flavour. Wow. Weird flavour. It is so wild. It's so wild. Because even early studies about vaping are all bad. Yeah. Yeah, I know. And there's no like way to tell, but aren't there already some people that have, like, died from vaping?

Yeah, they call it, like, what, popcorn lung, yeah. Popcorn lung, yeah. Popcorn lung, yeah. There's popcorn lung, that's no good. Well, I've got the top six other wild ideas to try for health NZ. Okay. I hope they're listening, write them down. Are these for free? These are for free?

Okay. I'm just doing my part as a sort of a... Yeah. A patriot. He's a patriot. I'm a patriot. He's got a doomsday shelter. Yep.

Well, not that sort of patriot. Yeah, it sounds like it. By the way, can we take back the word patriot? No, it's gone, man. It's a cool word. I know it's tainted. Yeah, it's gone. But so was some homophobic slurs were, and I've got taken back.

Yeah, they did. They got reclaimed. Number six on the list of the top six other left-field ideas for HealthN-Z. I say we give ninja swords to everybody to cut off their own limbs before gangrene gets the limbs. Okay. Okay, yep. It's a... If you've got a sore on your foot and it's really starting to stink.

It looks a little greeny. Let's chop it off. Ninja sword it yourself. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other ideas for health. Z. I read one of the big health problems facing New Zealand is chronic pain. And I know a couple of people with chronic pain

and it seems like a lot. Chronic. So I say we just disjury out of morphine pump to get ahead of the chronic pain. A little one, I... Like if you're just a little bit like, ooh, like today my back's a bit tight. Didn't stretch enough after... Oh, yeah, you've got to be stretching. After a return to the gym, by the way, which is not going well at 44.

You don't stretch. You don't stretch. No, he doesn't stretch. Very rarely. Yeah, very rarely. I could go a morphine pump today. Just a little one, a hit. A little hit.

Because if they don't give you the morphine pump now, they're just going to have to give it to you in five years. Why not, just give it to me now. Preventative morphine. Preventative morphine. Number four on the list of the top six on the left foot on is for Health NZ. Apparently our aging population, huge problem. It's going to be very expensive.

So we send them all a pillow. To sleep on? No. People can't see the action. Upside down sleeping. Yeah, right. So a loved one can smother them, Haley. Oh, I see.

We all know Vaughn's got a smother list. I've got a smother list. My mother reconfirmed her spot at the top of my smother list at the weekend. Yeah. If I get like that, she said, you know what it's time for. Are you willing to do time, though, behind bars? They don't ever prove it. Yeah, I think they can prove it, though.

Because, you know, this is all recorded as well. Yeah. What we're doing now? You'll be played at the trial, Vaughn. Yeah. Ratt roll, raggy. Should we. Hi Future Vaughn. Screwed it, didn't you?

Enjoy prison. Mind you, but just a nice stint in prison sounds nice. Same. I think about it, but I don't want it on my record. Workouts. Yeah. Three squares. Meet some nice people with interesting stories.

Yeah. Some powerful friends, you know. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Try some of that sex stuff I've wanted to try for a while. Yeah. Too scared to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you did it. Oh, I did it. I was just in prison. I don't have to. Number three on the list of the top six other ideas for health end Zed. field ones, defibrillators for cars. Oh yeah? Because apparently after the home and the workplace,

the car is the third most likely place you to have a heart attack. Is it? Yeah. They could give everybody a defraud. So I reckon you get into cars, hook yourself up, drive, drive, drive, heart attack and you're back. Love it. Number two on the list of the top six other ideas, left field ideas for half thin zed is. They give out thousands of vapes.

I reckon cigars. Just more bang for your buck than siggies. You can't do any of them. No, you put just a hold in the mouth and then spit it out. Yuck, I hate them. Cigars. I mean, that sounds such a ridiculous idea about they're giving people vapes. That's exactly the same thing.

Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six left field ideas for health and Zed. Kids Zempick. I've seen some fat kids. You can jab them. I reckon, get him on the jab young. Get him skinny.

Just get him started young on the kids'em pick. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why wait until they're older? Yeah, don't worry about the long term stuff. Yeah, just a little. Just a little, just a mini one. It's a little mini kids' epic.

Of course, all of these ideas were satire and being silly, and I don't recommend any of them. That should take care of the legal side of things, right? Disclose you. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the day's top six. The Z&M Podcast Network.

Play ZM's Fletch, Forne and Haley. Producer Shannon grow up and become the woman she's destined to be, and you've taken one further step in your apartment in meth towers. Yes, meth manner. Thank you very much. Sorry, Meth Manor. Full name. Yeah.

Have you had any police visits in the last few weeks? Yeah. Well, we had the emergencies. We had a full fire, full flood of the Sprinklers go, and it was a full thing. The police showed up for that too. Wow. By the way, she's just signed on for another year.

She was very happy about those. I always feel like Meth Manor needs are like its own theme tune. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Maddie Manor. Like it's like an English. English Tudor Manor. Okay, I found some.

No, I just going to do need to thank the Nicholson family. Family. It's the Christians family. The Nicholson's family. No, no, no, the Nicholson's have got me on another family plan. So the Christiansons have got me on the... Wait, how were the Nicholson's? Now, the Nicholns have got me on a different family plan. Is that Juulingo? No, that's Dave.

Oh my God. How many family plans are you on? It's hard to come from a broken home! Okay, as if, your parents are happily married. I... Yeah, but they're not paying for any of my subscriptions. Also, that's broken, is it? Yeah. That's broken.

Meth Manor. Okay, hold on. This is step inside an autumn Tudor Manor with melancholic music. Okay. Tales from Meth Manor. No, it's not. It needs to be more... Yeah, yeah. A bit more Bridgeton.

Oh, okay, so I look at a bit more... You know what I mean? A little bit more orchestral. Okay, Bridgeton and Bridgeton... Because it's a happy place for Shannon. Could we just use the Bridgeton TV series theme? Yeah, we could. Yeah, the one that's the Pitbull one.

Yeah. Oh, like string covers. Of the pit bull. Yes, this is it. This is it. Tres from Math Manor. Oh, I love this. Bookmark this one, Horn.

This is every time we talk about Shannon's. Can we get that light? Oh, send a link. We'll get that. Do you know what it? We return to Meth Manor. It's crazy, yeah, so I re-signed my lease, and they didn't increase my rent. Yeah, because they're stoked somebody wants to stay there.

Yeah, they're just like, wait, what? They were actually going to give you a rent deduction until you seemed keen. And in the air of Meth Manor, is the warm waft of something cooking from apartment 12. And a little bit of piss. Welcome to Mef Manor. Now why would there be warm wafts coming from your apartment? I bought my first ever crock pot.

Wow. Slow cooker or crock pot? Because crock pot is a registered brand. Oh, then slow cooker. I went $30 as cheap as you can go. 30 bucks. Yeah. And it's a bargain.

I don't know if I'd leave that unintended. It's giving big don't leave unattended energy. Yeah. $30. Well, I did. No, I've never owned one. My parents never had one growing up. This is my first time ever eating, like, food from one.

Wow. Your parents never had a slow cooker? No, we didn't have a microwave either. We didn't have a lot of, like, appliances. It was kind of just, like, hot eat. I knew some houses that grew up without a microwave because they were worried about, like, the radiation. While the parents went outside for a sickie.

Yeah, yeah. And now those people who grew up in those, love doing a couple of lines on the weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patress a microwave. Yeah, but this is my first crockpot, and I used it yesterday. Please send through any recipes for Instagram. Crazy with croc pots is just putting meat and a tin of tomatoes and you can kind of just go from there.

You've just described any crop pot recipes got a turn of tomatoes in it. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I was like, I can just pick a chicken in an ethnicity and there's dinner. Yeah. And like, this is straight and chucking some curry powder. I'll take that I'm Indian chicken. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, that's the thing because I'm not chewing.

It's the hardest part of adulthood. We've discussed this. Yeah. Picking. What ethnicity do I want tonight? Yeah. What ethnicity is his chicken going to become? Yeah. I'm not chewing at the moment.

And so I thought... Yes. By the way, that's a medical thing that's just not assuming she's trying. It's the no chewing, dying. Oh, yeah. No, it's a medical thing. But I'm not chewing. And I was like, man, how good would it be if I could have chicken that was...

Pull. Suckerball. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm like a teet-e-hanked. Suckabble chicken recipe. I had Zem online. Like slurpable chicken.

No, but guys, I did it yesterday, and it was crazy. What did you put in? Where did we go in the world? What eastern city was your chicken? I went Mexican. I did make two mistakes. I'll admit straight off the bat. Oh, okay.

Too much liquid? No. I put a full seasoning packet in for one chicken breast. So it's spicy. It was heavily seasoned. But my other issue is, is I didn't really think about at Meth Manor how my sink is very small. And the crock pot, despite buying the cheapest, smallest crock pot, is bigger than my sink.

Oh, so you're talking about when you come to wash the crop. Oh, no. Maybe in the shower. Wash it in the shower. I think it's going to have to be a shower situation. I mean, that's one of the most depressing things I've ever heard. No, my mum has sent... Oh, my God.

Bev has sent through the New Zealand crockpot cookbook by Joan Bishop, and it's the official crock pot. Yeah, dude, if you used to get those when you purchase the crock pot, you get the crock pot cookbook. Oh, my goodness. So if you're like, when I'm home this weekend, I'll scan it in. You just need a scale. You just got to scale down the recipes.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It's just for me to suck on. Do they have a suckable chicken? Do they have a suckable chicken chapter? They've got a whole chapter on suckable meals. I'm going to S. It's for suckable.

Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. Splatford and Haley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly that the silly little... Well, silly little pole today is do you ever trim about your ex? All day long a dream Oh no that was

Sexiest that was the Adidas song Wasn't it? Yeah yeah it was So there was an article You know a dream Analicist Yeah Was looking

Was explaining what dreaming about your ex could mean And it's all obviously dependent on what you do I was going to say To your ex Or with your ex Or what kind of role they are in your dreams Lingering love if you're dreaming about

Getting back with them Could be some unresolved feelings Okay Could be a sign of a sign of emotional or sexual dissatisfaction in a current relationship. It could mean a general dissatisfaction with your current life circumstances, some resentments or unresolved trauma. It could be a final resolution of feelings.

Lots of... Or you could have just seen a post or something during the day. It popped into your head. And it just pops into your head and so they're in your dream. Because do you find that sometimes people in your dreams are people that have popped into your mind or you've seen a post that day? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, and they've jumped to the forefront.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, do you ever dream about your ex is still a little pole? 50% of people said, I have once or twice. Mm-hmm. 50%? 50%? 50% said, ooh, never.

And 9% said yes, all the time. 9% all the time. If you're like, all the time, there's something there's an issue there, right? There's something deeper. Get into some therapy on that, I reckon. Charlotte said, I only have nightmares about running into that crazy son of a bitch. Okay. once that feels unresolved.

Mason, I have once or twice reliving my youth where I could go more than once a night and I don't have my back hurt after. Okay, that was a lot I've been pre-read down. That's okay. That's okay. That's right, yeah. That happens. Alana said, I did for five years after we broke up, but only twice since having a new partner

as they popped into my head. Heart is healed. Feels the hardest healed. Yeah, just an occasional revisit. Yeah. Sarah said, I've been happily married for 19 years and the high school boyfriend always appears in my dreams. Always.

Do you reckon that's the first love? Yeah. Yeah. I still have dreams that I'm at school and I haven't studied for an exam. Same. And I've got no pants on. Not a place I'd like to be. Yeah.

As a 44-year-old and a school with no pants on. Could you imagine, though, if at school during your school years you did have no pants on, you'd just be relentlessly mowed. You'd leave the country. You'd never live that down. No, yeah. You'd have to leave. You wouldn't have a high school boyfriend. Yeah.

No. As Shane said, hard not to do when you have or had a. a deep connection and we're together for a very long time and then to tear. Oh, you don't just remove them from your brain, do you? No. The lobotomy might help, though. Yeah.

Nube says, oh my God. Nube. The filth, me and that man got up to. How could I not dream about it? Wow. Still some lingering desire there. I'm looking back on some filth. What?

Emily, okay, this is one of the most bizarre things I dream about regularly. I'm 32 and I've not seen that person for 15 years. It was just a high school boyfriend. Why him? Why him it perplexes me so much? Wow. That is fascinating.

I'm sure there would be a deeper read into that. Yeah. Haley, not this Haley, another Haley. I don't typically tend to comment. One of those... Well, no, it's not our place to comment. It's a little poll, is it? We don't want to...

Well, I just mean, I just talk all show. We don't want to tip the scales. Yeah. One of those dreams where you wake up from and immediately throw up on the floor and then wonder what the hell is wrong with you and what the universe thinks it's trying to do by giving you those dreams are currently dry reaching

as I type this. Oh. Okay. Feels like not a happy separation there. No. Naomi, what? I genuinely thought nightly guest appearances from your ex which is part of the standard sleep package.

Now you're telling me I'm in the minority. This feels statistically inconvenient. I'm mostly happily married, but apparently my subconscious didn't get the memo. Mostly happily married. I think that's just marriage. Yeah. Mostly happy.

More responses. Jordan, yes, but not in a sexy way. The other night I dreamed I was vandalizing his car. Disappointed to wake up and find out that it was only a dream. Him and his BMW would deserve it. Okay. Matt said he hung. Okay.

I don't know what it means. And obviously a gay person. No, he hung up. Oh, and so we're dreaming about the year. I've only had a massive whang and I'm just kind of hung. Well, that's what I was. We were dancing around that, for me. Anonymous plays still have these oddly specific sex dreams about my ex,

even though we were long distance and never even actually met. Yes. What? I'm lesbian. La, la, la, la. Lo-la-la-law-law-law-law. Then they never met and you're dreaming about them? Wow.

You need a mate. Yeah. Also, you officially go out with someone and you never met them. Long distance, never met them. Well, they're a tear-away pen-pow. Big internet, yeah, or a teraway pen-pow. Could have been. Wow, do you ever dream about your ex-a-sillie little pole?

50% of you once or twice. 40% of you. Never 9% all the time. The Then-N podcast network. So, Merritt at first-night Australia is cranking at the moment. If they believe tomorrow, we're going to talk to John Aiken. Yeah. You know, beloved expert of the show.

But if like me, you can't get enough, there has been a spin-off announced. It's called Second Marriage at First Sight. Okay, wait, that's confused my brain. So Married at First Sight, the premise, you've never seen each other. Yes. Get married. Typically tends to fail. We're thoroughly entertained.

See you next year. Yeah. Second Marriage at First Sight is a cross-continent. continental little mashup between maths Australia and maths UK So like a

and an all-stars season Right, it's All-Stars maths Yeah so returning brides and grooms from Australian maths and UK maths which I've never watched

haven't watched any of the UK Yeah we'll get a second chance at first married sight second time round Will it be done in Australia or the UK? Here's how it works

So weddings happen in the UK the couples get married in the UK. Yes. K. They'll be matched with someone who obviously they didn't match with the first time. And then they relocate to Australia.

Wow, okay. Where they'll meet friends and family. So they do a little bit of time in the UK, a little bit of time down under. Right. And then they basically do the maths structure like you normally would, but it's a second sort of shot at it. How does anyone that's been on the show the first time go back and do it again?

Glutton for punishment, I think my mother would say. Or just the fame's run out and they need more followers. Probably, but also like so it's stay or leave, right, is at the end of each week. Yeah. Couples decide to stay or leave. Now it's stay, leave or migrate. Because they've got, they've added in the potential, you know, because it'll be UK and Aussie matches. Yep.

At the end of it's a successful relationship, you just got to, you know, tottle off to the other side of the world. Yeah. Because no one's moving to the UK, are they, if the option's Australia. No! No! Especially those that are based in the UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd come down under. Yeah.

So I was like, great, this is going to be awesome, but I was like, maybe the cast won't be that good. The cast is amazing. So here's, by the way, this is all like TBC, but rumoured. Lucinda. Do I know, you remember Lucinda? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Lucinda Light, who was like just the most amazing woman. We got to interview her in person. She was amazing. Lucinda. She's coming out. She was from 2004. Jessica Power, she was amazing. She was like blonde and like a real like Sydney girl and they matched her with this farmer guy.

Yeah. That was never going to work. Al Perkins, who was like a man child. And Elliot Donovan who was accused of being a narcissist. Now he makes really funny content online about, join me as a day as a narcissist. Right. It's really funny. At least he's embraced it.

He was like, as a narcissist, I like to make my bed. So it's really, really funny. So, yeah, it's done by Channel 4. It's going to be filming really soon. Castor be announced. I'm all about it. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley.

Producer Shannon, one of the sweetest angels in our lives, is actually currently in a violent feud with someone else at work. Yeah, and I need you guys all to be on my side. You don't even have to ask, Shannon, we are here and we will fight to the death. We're here. And that is what we want to know this morning. Yes.

Who you're in a beef with? And why? 0,800 dials at em, 966. And we're not going to judge you if it's pathetic. I'm not saying Shannon's is. Shannon's is very serious. But if it's a small issue, we want to hear about it as well. I'd describe your beef as a light-hearted beef with a fellow workmate.

I would say you don't understand how women work. And this will only end with blood. And I think it's appropriate to bring it to radio to acknowledge. What are you doing for? Flashback. No, it was Cowan. That was my phone. Are you playing Candy Crush?

It's the noise of someone walking past my security camera. Oh, we're going to break him. Intruder. It's like you've got a string of can set up. Yeah. For an old-school intruder. It's good. Oh, who was it?

Just my partner. Cute. Okay. Not at work. Lazy? Lazy? 7.30. Lazy.

Works in the world of journalism. He's scat and does meetings at home and then drives in. He's already missed half of the day's events. He's going to be stuck in traffic. Yeah. Terrible. By the way, happy 10 months till Christmas. Why would you say that?

Why are you doing that? I just saw that it was the 25th. Okay. Yeah, right. Well, okay. Shannon, what's your beef? Okay. You know Brooke, our wonderful night show host.

We hate her. Is this what we're doing? She's not as wonderful. mentioned earlier this morning, I'm not chewing. One thing I've been living off at the moment is protein up and goes. Get your protein, get some calories in. Yeah,

I'm just trying to... Have you thought about getting just some workout protein without all the other stuff in it? Like sugar? There's no room in a meth manner for a blender. That's good point. No, it's just easy and we've got a vending machine here at work. Every morning I waltz over and get my vanilla protein up and go.

And I started noticing that they're depleting quite quickly. And I told Brooke about this and Brooke's like I get the vanilla protein up and goes and so now we've become in this feud where each time one of us buys one we send each other a photo being like enjoy this bitch we send each other photo. Enjoy this bitch. And then she sent me a photo the other night and she said I know you're sleeping because obviously she works nights.

She said I know you're sleeping but enjoy this tomorrow. Send me a photo of her flipping off the empty vending machine. She had the last. She's drinking up and goes at night. Yeah, well she has them for her show. She's going to be up and going. She must be up and going. She must be taking downing and chilling.

But long story short, I now hate her. Yes. And by proxy, we have to? Yeah, exactly. I really liked Brooke. That's a shame. No, we hate her now. Okay. Obviously, you have to be on Shannon's team.

Of course we do. Otherwise, it's all quit. Just feud. Yeah, and so now we have to wait for vending machine man to come back and restock. My plan is to buy all of them. Why don't you just go to supermarket? I was going to say, I'm just looking up

how much like an 18 pack, No, because they're the buggies in the vending machine and they're nice and cold. Oh, we've got fridges. Because I've got some Greek yogurt in a fridge out here. I mean, look, you're all bringing up great points. I will ignore them all. I sort of just, yeah, okay.

Well, I think what I'm going to do is when he restocked is I'm going to buy all of them and then send her a photo taunting her that I bought the whole stock out there. But you won't do. That's insane. You won't go to the supermarket and buy all of them cheaper. You underestimate how petty a woman can be.

Hell has no scorned woman. Fury like a scorn. Like a woman scorned. Look, it's fine. This is your beef. We can get behind you. I want to hear from our listeners, who are you beefing with?

I like the beefs where the other person doesn't know they're in a beef. Yeah, and they're just living their life and you're like, I've got beef with her. Does she know? No. And I'll never tell her. Yeah.

Well, maybe it's a beef with someone you work with. Maybe it is lighthearted. Could be a family situation. You know, maybe you've got sister. is falling out. Didn't Hillary Duff say that her and her sister Haley, they beefing? They're beefing. They're right.

They still beefing. Well, this is what we want to know. 0,800 dials at M. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696. Who are you beefing with and why? No judgment from us. You can call anonymously as well.

Oh, 800 dial Z at M. Text 966. Producer Shannon and our night show announcer Brooke are beefing over the limited stock of up and go proteins in the vending machine here at work. Unknown to both of them, they are available at supermarkets also.

At a heavily discounted rate. Who are you beefing with? Catalina, good morning. Who are you beefing with? Good morning. Catalina, can I first just say, I love your wine mixer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge fan of that.

How many times do you hear that, Catalina? It's usually the island. Yeah, yeah. The wine mixer is at the island. Yeah, it is. There's both in hers. Yeah. Who's the beef with, Catalina?

So she's actually my best friend of like five years Nice Why are you beefing? Because she's become my flatmate And she got a boyfriend Oh Okay, right Yeah, that sucks

So is it just the two of you in the flat Originally? Originally and then he moved in Is he paying? Is he paying because, you know, like It would be taking showers and stuff? He's not He's not paid for utilities

Now, I can understand if they've split the room costs, but the utilities on top is a different situation. No, so he hasn't been paying for about four months. Oh, no, no, no. Wait, is he there the whole time? Yeah, he's here in his student. So I was kind of letting him off. No, we're not. No, we're not.

We absolutely can. He needs to grow up. We'll call him out. Have you asked her about it? Said Dennis to chip in? She doesn't talk to me about anything, but he does. Right. Right.

So she's just kind of withdrawn. And you're just having a bit of. going to deal with her? Pretty much. And we had like a deal that I would cook because she can't cook whatsoever, neither can hear. And she would clean. Yeah. She stopped cleaning and then expected me to like...

Well, Catalina, then you stop cooking. Catalina, you got to stop cooking, baby. It sounds like you've got to end the flat, to be honest. I'd be out of there. Have you been looking at other flats, Catalina? They're actually deciding to move out since I asked him to pay rent. Oh, you're good. Oh, wait.

Oh, okay. We've got a solution. Okay. Yeah, so I asked him to pay a little bit of rent like a hundred bucks And he's like, okay, we're moving out now You don't get to live ever free Oh my God, I hate that so much for you

That was the worst thing about flating is when people Boyfriends Yeah, people would stay over And they're like, we're not technically living together And you're like, he's here like six out of seven days away Yeah, yeah, pay some pay some power How many days of the week? Six out of seven

Six out of six Seven days a week Oh, that doesn't work this one. Five seven. Five seven. He stays here four nights a week. Forcede ever. Catalina, thank you.

Matt. Who are you beefing with at the moment? I was sort of looking at buying a business and sort of my old CEO sort of from a few years ago. I sort of hit him up to see you get some business advice sort of thing. And had a meeting and stuff with him about whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. And then after that meeting, you know, 10 minutes after, he rings the existing business owner. an office to buy the business off of him. What?

Oh, no. Scumbag alert. Dirty. Yeah. Did he actually get the business? No, so I, um, I, he sort of rang alarm about to him going, no, this is not not on. So he ended up, yeah, still going through and got the business.

So it's all good now. Oh, so you've got it. That's actually nice to see some, some, um, morals. Yeah, yeah. Some business ethics. Ethnics. No, it's ethics. I know, as I recently.

I said it. I was hoping no one was going to settle on business ethnics. I love a business ethnic. I love an ethnic. I don't think I can even say that. That sounded wrong saying too. I love ethics. Business ethics. You do.

Forget everything else I said apart from business ethics. And so is this guy, are you going to write this guy off completely now? Like not a friend anymore? Yeah, not fair. He keeps sort of ringing and texting me asking me to catch up for a coffee. I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll book it in the calendar. Then, you know, Dave, before I'll text and go, oh, sorry, mate.

Yeah. Well, at least you know it was a good idea to buy the business. if he wanted it too. Yeah. Exactly. I was a win-win-A. Well, when it's all settled and done, Matt, call us back, tell us what the business is.

We'll tell everybody to business it up. Yep. That's what the radio does, Fletch. We do that. We're not going to be a person. Nah, it's Matt as a friend of Matt. Okay. What about our friends buys a business?

Are you going to pay something? Yeah. Nah. Okay, thanks, Matt. Thank you, Matt. Wait there. Some messages in. I don't know why.

I'm beefing with my father. I went no contact two months ago and he hasn't even noticed. Shows how much of a good dad he is. Oh, that's major. I'm going to feud with a car that parks miles from the curb around our house. I don't know why I told him to wait. Just hang up on him.

Sorry, the producers were just like... Can we get Matt's business details? It was sort of weird that you said wait there, like we're going to give him a prize. I don't know, I don't know why's your way there. Can we send him a bag of Brian Client's chips? Yeah, that's lovely. I reckon also...

I reckon we just put the address straight on the bag. See how they turn up. See if that makes it. Yes, I love that. All right, lucky Mac. Lucky Matt, receiving some chips? Receiving a bag of. dust by the time it gets there

it'll take a hiding in the poster system. Put a fragile sticker on it. That's it, that'll take care of it all. It'll pop though. I'm going to burst out. It'll be chips all through everyone else's packages. It'll be so good. It'll be fun. And then, like, people right now listen could get some mail and have grease on it. And they'll lick it a bag with Matt. Yeah. All right, well, stay there, Matt.

I'm going to have a feud with it. He's gone. All right, stay on the line. Our producers will sort you out. He's gone. I'm going to feud with a car that parks miles from the curb around my house. He can't get through on the road so I keep reporting to the council. They keep getting tickets. They have no idea it's me. Oh.

I'm beefing with a boy that I was talking to. I was talking to this boy and then I saw him at the weekend and he was dancing and then the chicks. I slept with his best friend. Is this a beef? Is this a beef? Is it a beef if they don't know about it? Yeah. Well, she's hoping the best friend will tell it. Yeah. I'm beefing with my sisters that have organised a trip to China without asking me. Oh, are they all going without you? Are they going without you or have they included you but not consulting?

you because that's annoying too. I would hate that. Someone organising me a trip, get real. I'm beefing with my sister. We organise Vaughan a trip. Yeah, no, but Vaughn can receive that. I would hate if someone organise a trip for me. I, by the way, I'm more than happy to be the receiver of a trip.

No, we fixed your sadness. No, I am. No, you haven't. Why? You're sad again. Watch. All right. You're not getting another free trip out of me every year.

Yeah, I'm sorry. We're going somewhere, you know, closer. Beaving with my sister, 13, because she wanted rice food. for dinner and I want a chip so we decided to fight for it. And I won't, so now she won't talk to me and we're beefing over chips or rice. Okay. Why couldn't you have had chips and rice?

Too much, too many carbs? Mom's not doing two carbs. Yeah, true. Mom's not doing too lots of carbs. Don't be stupid. I'm beefing with my best mate he passed away 10 years ago. How dare you go nonverbal on me? Is it a text of the week? That's really ticked to me. Dark as hell. Dark as hell. Dark as hell. I love

that. Texts of the week. We're going to hook you up. Thanks to animates, making happy happened for pets. We've got a $50 animates voucher for you. I'm beefing with my best friend because she has to be right all the time. In parentheses, she says, she also doesn't know we're beefing because I don't have the guts to tell her. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My sister also slept with a close family member to me. She's not related to them by blood.

Wait, so it's like a step sister. Yeah. Okay. But they slept with someone in the family. Someone that's in the family, but not related. Oh. Oof. Rights itself, doesn't it? That's yuck.

Carry on, Vaughn. It is a bit. Someone said I'm beefing with my husband. He was chewing particularly loud last night. That's a beef. That can last a week. By the way, I just want to give you a little update. I'm going to do 27 of my cycles.

If we could start actually pulling back on the volume of your chewing as well, lads would be absolutely wonderful. What about when Vaughn sucks his drink? Like, listen to this. And he does that. He goes, oh, I might pop out for a poop, and then he's gone for 15 minutes. Not putting up with it. Day 27, you've been warm.

Jesus, what have I didn't do anything wrong? You've been warned. I've not done anything wrong. See what I told you, that crazy. Day 27. That block your wrist for a minute? Tread light. That crazy.

That crazy. She heard that. I heard that. Yeah, I wanted you to. Say it to my face. I'm in the mood for a fight. Yes, let's beat. Play Z-N's flesh, one and Haley.

I don't know how I've not watched heated rivalry. I just, it's just, I keep forgetting maybe that that's what I should watch. Because it's right up your rally. I know, I know. But to sum it up, well, producer can't win can you sum it up? Because not only have you,

oh no, you haven't seen the show either, right? I haven't seen the show, because you're booking it. I'm working my way through the books. Yeah. Because heated rivalry is actually the second book. So I've started with the first one who those two characters do feature

in the TV show, Scott and Kip. But then they become the, yeah. But then heated rivalry is actually a different. pair of hockey pies. So it's hockey, gay hockey lovers. Two men who play hockey and they hockey so much that they're like, wait, I'm gay for you and I want to make

let's make hockey love. In the showers. Kind of? Yeah, they're in rival teams. Yeah. They've watched it. It's a good, it's just six-parta. It was shot in like a month on a budget.

And it's gone nuts. And it's gone absolutely crazy. In New Zealand, you can watch it on neon. Yes. Yeah. So the Harper Collins CEO came out earlier this month when they were talking about how much money they've made. And they said that heated rivalry book sales have boosted Harper Collins to a quarterly revenue record. Yeah.

Because when this show came out, the books were already out. They had been around for a little while. But they weren't easily accessible. The show came out. It took off HBO, I think, bought the rights from Crave. And it just blew up. They could not keep up with. the demand of the book. They had to print.

I think they've just been constantly printing them since the show came out. They can't keep up the sales. They have to go back to warehouse station and get more ink. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. I bloody how we've run out of the black cartridge again. And then they're like, you need more cyan. You're like, what am I using the cyan for?

Why is that going down more than the other colours? Can we just do it purely in cyan? Cyan. Cyan is the conditioner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Where's it called? All the cyan's gone. I've got magenta, more magenta than I know what to do with. So as part of this, though we haven't seen it,

some of the more talked about scenes occur in a lakeside cottage. Which, by the way, looks, has anyone tracked that down? Does someone own that? Canada. Is that on Airbnb? Because my God, that's a beautiful cottage. Canadian shields, forests, lakes and classic cottage lifestyle. So it's Canadian cottages.

I wouldn't call it a cottage. I'd call it a, what would you call it? It's such a beautiful, nice modern home. It's just a modern home. on home next to a lake and in the book I know the scene is meant to happen where Shane's sitting on a dock but they couldn't afford it so he's just sitting on a random rock in the water

it's meant to be a dock so apparently bookings for Canadian cottages little getaways have surged 110% since the release of a TV show There's a line in the TV show Come to the Cottage So that's the Russian

guy does he say that Come to the Cottage Well the show is making people come to the cottage And that's not the advertising campaign. No, just any cottage. Any cottage. Any like come to the cottage in a forest in Canada. Cottage's rule. I love saying in like...

Canada is literally thousands of lakes, right? Yeah. Just lakes and bush. Yeah, lakes and lakes. It's the most laked country. It was in the crossword yesterday. Just seen her. Oh, that's great.

That's a great little tidbit. To add to this story, Shaddle. It's the most coastline country too in the world, isn't it? Oh, I don't know. That wasn't in the crossword. If it's not in the crossword, she doesn't know. I don't know. Doesn't know.

So there's also additional tourism boost in Hamilton, not our Hamilton. Canada's Hamilton, which was a primary filming location. People are just like great for tourism, right? Yeah. Canada does have the most coastline in the world, 200,000 kilometres of coastline. Goodness me.

Well, if you have the dream of living the heated rivalry life in a snowy Canadian forest, you better put soon because they're bloody. It's actually not snow. It's actually sunny and summery in the show. It's in Canada. Yeah. I mean, not now. Canada right now. Not right now.

Snow, snow. Snow. Well, if you want to go in snow, you've got to go now. The ZD.M Podcast Network. What's going on? ZD.M's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. I want to know right now what is the cringiest date you've ever been on, or the cringiest thing anyone's done on a date. Because if you're keeping up with married at first, 2026, Australia.

There was one of the cringiest dates of ever saying. One of the brides, it was their intimacy week, and they had to fulfil their ultimate fantasy. Okay. And one of the brides, her fantasy, was kind of a love actually moment with the big placards, you know, the big cue cards. Yeah.

And they're a little bit behind their intimacy, and all she wanted was for her husband to give her a kiss. This is him reading those cards. Will you kiss me now in this moment the kind of kiss that makes me feel something. I can kiss you, Rachel. I can kiss you. But I'm not too sure if it's going to make you feel something. Now, he turns her down.

Because it's brilliant, Gordon, they won't hear another word about it. Now, he turns her down, she's standing there, she's blindfolded, she's got her big cue cards. It's this whole gesture. And it's really cringy, and you can see him really struggling with it. And he gets so embarrassed, and then, yeah, he doesn't kiss her. So they don't kiss? Not as a result of this, no. Yeah, right.

And you know, we love a bold gesture in the dating world. Yes. But it was hard to watch. Cringe. It was very cringe. It was so cringe. It was actually quite a lot of cringe gestures for these dates. And that's what I want to know.

What is the cringiest date someone's taking you on? Have you been on a cringy date? Have you had a moment where you've just been like, Oh, God. No, no, no, not really. I think mine have been quite simple. I've found it quite hard to me. My rule is if you haven't been on a cringy date, you are the cringy date.

Do you think I've done a cringe? Wow, Sean's fired. I just know she's day 27 of her cycle and I'm poking the bear. Yeah. Oh, you keep going. Mama bear's got claws. I'll just say, good luck to you, sir. We've already had some feedback on, we asked on Instagram.

We put a little question box up. Okay, go, go. He'd just been deported from Ozzy on a meth conviction. Hot. I'm already glad we're on the day. He was honest about it, but from there on out it was cringe. But, like, you could change him, you know? Like, he's probably hot.

I love a project. Yeah. Love a reno. You love a reno. Love a renovation project. Sung and played four system of the down songs acoustically to me. Then cooked me chicken tonight. Chicken tonight.

Chicken tonight. Apricot. Apricot. Chiquette tonight. Apricot chicken tonight. I did go on that date in Italy and the guy sung Wonderwall straight to my face.

That's a cring. It was the Italian. I had an Italian. Gregoria, Torda be the day. Is that how he's saying it? The whole song. Right now you should somehow

realize what you're going to do. It's a piece. It's a mea, Gregorio. Wow, but he was hot. So it didn't matter? Yeah, followed through. Did he get away with it? He got away with it.

He got away with it. He got away with it. He got away with it. He was. but I wanted the earth to swallow me alive. Invited me over for dinner and a hang and then just insisted I watch him play Minecraft. Cringe.

How old is this, dude? It's a wild idea for the first day. That's insane. Okay. We want to know your cringe date. We want to know how cringy it got. That's a great start. Keep them coming.

9-696 to text in. 0800 dial ZM as the number. The cringiest date you've been on. We want to know what is the cringiest date you've ever been on. Maybe they did something cringy or the whole date itself just made you cringe. The Maths Intimacy Week challenge where the women had to do their ultimate fantasies was riddled with cringe. Oh, and some great stories coming through. Anonymous joins us, Anonymous.

How cringy was the date? Hi, it was cringe from start to finish. So about five minutes into the... I decided for a first date, this is the last time I ever did it, that he said he wanted to go off. roading instead of meeting in a cafe or a bar. Okay, that's exciting. And I stupidly agreed.

I kind of like it when men just take you into the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere on the first day. I like it too, and you don't know them. I thought I was going to die. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So it was like full offroading, like mud and going up hills and getting stuck.

Yeah. So I get into his truck in about five minutes into the offroading in the middle of a forest. We're in this clearing and he's like, me and my mates usually come here and we'll catch. out but now we're together you'll be coming with me so they're going to have to find their own ride and I'm like

whoa this is five minutes in and then he was wearing you he was like we we we we we yeah collective we are together and then about 20 minutes in we drive we're going off-roading through the bush a little bit more and then he just starts crying

and I was like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait what is he crying he starts crying and I was like are you okay what's wrong and he's like I see dead dead people and there's lots of dead people around here. But don't worry, I've got a shovel in the boot.

Oh, for God's sake. And I was like, oh my God, he's going to kill me in the middle of the bush. And then we get to another clearing and there is no water around. We're in the middle of the bush in the dirt. And then he says he's going to take me on a surfman listen and makes me lie down on my front in the dirt so he can teach me how to do the pop onto a board where there's no board. There's no water. He's there to put the shovel in the back of your head.

Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. So we're lying on our tummy. In the mud. This is more of a phone in for when did you think you were going to die on a date. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. So what happened after that? Yeah. But you ended up getting out of the forest, out of the off-roading date? Yeah, it took about eight hours. Oh, God. And then, what? We ended up on a beach and he made me listen to him whale noises on his phone while he cried listening to the whale noises.

That's deprives a lot. Anonymous. And then, supposedly, he asked me what I was up to that evening for the rest of the day. And I was excited because we were just heading back to my car. And I was like, oh, thank God. Like, I've got the house to myself. I'm just going to chill. And he's like, I'm so glad you said that I knew this date was going to go well.

So I've booked us movie tickets. He needs to cut. He's thrown everything at this. Did you go to a movie? Yes, because I was too polite and I didn't know how to get out of it, so I ended up sitting for a movie with him when he tried to hold my hand, and it was just the most cringe thing ever. What movie?

Yeah, what movie was it? I don't even remember I was just trying to get out of there. I'm pretty sure this was like five years ago. Okay, yeah. So good. Someone just messaged in Jesus Christ. That was a roller coaster, Casey. I reckon.

Anonymous, we're going to hook you up with our caller of the week. Thanks to Kimmer's Warehouse Home and the biggest brands at the lowest prices. I've got a chemist warehouse price back for you because that is a caller of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if we're getting any better than that. Anonymous, thank you. Let's go to Casey. Casey, how cringe was the date that you were on?

Hi, guys. This was about five years ago. Okay. And it was a hot day, so we were going to go to the beach and have a drink. Yeah. And so we arrived, and he was holding a chili bin. I just noticed anything weird for a start. And then we, like, sat down.

And then he was like, oh, do you like a very lift t-shirt? And it said, two in the pink, one in the stick. We just gave away Wait, we just gave away Kora of the week Well Oh, damn it Oh, Casey

I mean That's wild man What did you say? I don't even know what to say to that I didn't even laugh And he just sort of carried on chatting And I noticed that The t-shirt was obviously really

Oh, it's his face He was sticking out the bottom of it. His tummy was sticking out the bottom of it? Oh, no. Yeah, his little tummy. Oh, his little tummy. And then, so he sort of got through the date, and I was sort of like, oh, yeah, like, ready to go. Oh, do you want to go get a bite to eat or something?

And I was just like, honestly, I'm not going anywhere else if you wearing that t-shirt. Oh, good. We've pulled out the t-shirt. And he was like, oh, I'm not going anywhere if you wearing that t-shirt. And then I was, like, driving home thinking, what the heck was he thinking? And he messaged me up, do you want to go out again? And in Brattip, he was like, I won't. the t-shirt again and I was just thought, oh look.

I might wear the t-shirt again! No, wait. Did he say, I won't wear it or I might wear it? No, I won't wear it. I thought he was just like, oh, God. I think that, that could have been the realization that this t-shirt wasn't working after all this time. I'm so mad. I know, I was like, what vibe did I give off that?

You think it was a good idea? Brilliant. Oh, Casey, that's too good. We've got so many calls and messages. Kate, good morning. How cringy was the date? See, I almost hung up because how am I supposed to compete with those? Everyone's got their own story to tell babes. Great stories, no.

But hey, we don't compare ourselves to others, Kate. No. Well, so this was in my early 20s, and I went and met this guy at his house, and he tried to sell me these weight loss drugs that he was selling. I'm so, dude. Oh, read the room. What? So I kind of think the cringiest part is that I even entertained the idea

because now I'm older and wiser and I would have told him where to shove them, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what, you were like, well, how much, like, and how do they work? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did it? I had to sit there and be really polite and, like, sit there nicely through the state and try and pretend I was supposed to... How long ago was this?

Because up until, like, Ozempic and the, what do they call them, GLP's or whatever it is, the diet pills were always just, like... Twenty-five years ago. Okay, so it was a BZP pill, which was basically meth, synthetic meth. Or was that stuff that made you just, the fat just ran straight through you. What was that called? And everyone was shitting themselves. Yes.

Oh, Zenical. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Cool, cool, cool. Kate, that was a great story. Great story. Don't doubt yourself. Thank you, Kate.

Some messages in. Somebody said, did you notice how it's all woman calling in? Yes. Hi, we have picked up on that yes, too. And I've just got to apologize about half of men and ask us to be better. Yeah. This is horrible stuff. Yeah.

And also text it... See this guy wearing the t-shirt, man, legend? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you want to meet the legend? People are messaging against. What does the t-shirts say? They missed it. They missed it.

And someone's like, do I miss what the t-shirt say? I don't know if you can even repeat it. It's two in the... I think... With the hand gesture. To the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. My date's father joined her on the date. Oh. Awesome. He came in the car with them. and sat in the back. I was so nervous I drove the wrong way up on one-way street. Conversation was stilted, shall we say.

Yeah. So there you go, that's a guy messaging in about a cringe date because the dad came up. But then it's a guy to blame for being the cringe because the dad-a-husband. Also, that's some dad that would be like you, just wanting to suss him out. Not with my daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Driving my daughter around. Yeah, yeah.

Check for a warrant in reg and stuff. Drive me around first. Give it an inspection. Yeah, take me around the block on this thing. Halfway through the date at an average restaurant, I noticed they're taking food. taking food from her plate and moving it under the table. When I asked what she was doing, she pulled out a rat from her hoodie pocket on the front. No way.

Where you put your hands in. She was... Alive. She was ratatooie. She was feeding the ratatoole. Okay, and that is a text from a man. Well, no, it might be from a lesbian. Okay.

We don't have a lesbian. Three, four, two, man or lesbian. Okay, let's have a wager. Because that is something a lesbian would do, have a pet rat. It's a girl. I think it's mad mouse lady. She's mad mouse lady. And I think it was a guy that sent that.

You think it's a guy that, okay, well, we are going to need some confirmation. I think I dated the same Minecraft guy as one of your respondies before I cooked in dinner and cleaned up to be rewarded with watching and playing Minecraft. What do guys think that's sexy? I mean, if there's a bottle of wine, then I can sit and drink on the bed. Yeah. I'll watch for a bit. He turned up for a dessert date. Now, that's like, you don't go for dinner, you just go somewhere for dessert.

Yeah. Put it put a pud. For a dessert date, first time meeting him, he didn't have his teeth in. So they come out today? I'm not a little older, so dating was getting harder. Yeah, I guess he couldn't bite into the ice cream or something. Yeah. We slept together on Valentine's Day and during the act,

he actually stopped and looked at me in the eye and said, Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, that's so cringe. 13 years later, we're still together. Oh, yeah. And he says it every year. Yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, baby.

My sister went for the first date for coffee and a walk to the park. He was carrying, he had a backpack on. When he got to the park, he laid his backpack down and said, I want to show you my drone. And then he did like real fast driving of the drone. And she was just like, oh man, cool. You've got to know if your interests are going to align though. Yeah, this is true.

There's a girl who really likes drones driving real fast. That's right. I get a follow up on the rant. I actually don't have a follow up on the rant yet. Man or lesbian. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flash forun and Haley. Fact of the Day.

Day, day, day, day. It's, uh, Pokemon's 30th anniversary. Like it or not, even if you've never watched an episode of Pokemon or played Pokemon or done the cards. You know what a Pikachu is. Yeah. That's me. I know what a Pikachu is. You know what a Pikachu. How many Pokemon?

That would be a fun game to play with you. You know where you sit down with people sit down with their nannas? And they're like, Nana, what do you think this Pokemon's cool? Oh, yeah, okay, I know. Pocosaurus, jiggly poop. Yeah, jiggly poop. That was so close. Jiggly puff.

Jiggly poop. Snoozledore? Snoo. I'm a bit of a purist. I'll celebrate the original 151 Pokemon. Are there 151? Dude, there's over a thousand now. Well, no, wonder you've got to catch them all.

You simply must. Yeah. Catch them all. So, uh... Did you say jigglysaurus? There's no jigglysaurus. Yeah, yeah. and WigglyTuff.

Jiggly Puff evolves into WigglyTuff. But wait, is Puckethoris Rex? Is Pikachu the same as Detective Pikachu, or is that a whole other... No, yeah, he is. Hmm, interesting. And what, it's not Ash Ketchum's Pikachu, but it is our Pikachu. Right. Because there's multiple Pikachus.

But when did Pikachu go to police college? I don't know when... I still haven't seen Detective Pikachu, which is wild. You can't just give a Pikachu a detective rank without going through the proper training. They, like, gave her jacket and they were like, there you go, detective. So, Yeah. You derailed it.

But I liked it. I'm going to get it back on the rails. It's silly, isn't it? So who's, who's, who's not? There's no snugly puff. There might be a snuggly puff. As I say, well, 151 for me and all the rest just seemed a little bit silly. Right.

But the original three, and this is the only reason I'm doing Pokemon Week this week is in a blatant attempt to have received the free Venisor, Charazard, and Blast. Charrisad, I know that one. Penisaur. Penisor. That's another one. And if you do have a penis sword The wrong Pokemon

And if you do have a penis Let's see a health professional immediately Visit your local health professional immediately No questions asked It's never embarrassed 27th of February that that Lego set comes out Did you see the cost? Why didn't you just go and ask Lego email them?

It's embarrassing begging on ear It's part of job I'm not about begging on here What are you a dead celebrity with a GoFundMe? It's embarrassing Yeah it's getting big I'm a life celebrity with a GoFund me All right, Eric Dane

Gimmy, gimme, gimme. So today we're talking about the origins of Pokemon invented by Satoshi Togeri. He grew up in Japan in suburban Tokyo in the 1970s and he had an obsession with catching beetles.

Okay. He'd go and catch rhinoceros beetles. Imagine a beetle the size of it in a rhinoceros you'd be like, what the? Don't get the rhinoceros confused with the rhinoceros beetle.

No. We're going to catch that one. So he used to go bug hunting in the long grass. If you've ever played Pokemon, know you spend a lot of time in the long grass. Yeah, you do. Your catapies.

Your catapies are knocking you, your wheedles. The wheedles and your... They're all in the long grass. Geronimosis is of course in the long grass. So this is based on what he did as a kid. He'd go out with jars or pokey balls and he'd catch insects. Right.

And if he... Is that where you put the Pokemon in the... So they die. In a mason jar. Yeah. And a pokey bowl. Oh, you shouldn't need them. No, no, I wouldn't need them.

I wouldn't need them. Although they do say insects are the future approach. He would connect them and him and his friends would trade the bugs if he had two rhinoceros beetles and somebody else was like, well, I found three of these cicadas. They'd trade them like you can trade Pokemon. Oh, okay. And so much so his nickname was Dr. Bug. But then, sadly, as Tokyo expanded, fields were paved. Oh, no.

Nature disappeared. Beetle habitats were destroyed. That's why all those hippies don't want us to build roads because all the frogs are. Yeah. What about the tiny little bugs you never see? Well, we'll never get them back once they're gone. Put a road somewhere else. I'm okay with that.

Do we need another road? So many bugs around Haley's house. So many. Yeah, I mean, no one's poker bowling a housefly, are they? No. Unless it's got a strong evolution, then maybe you are. So a lot of Pokemon are based on the sort of Beatles and stuff he used to catch and trade with other people. Now, you might be thinking, but the Pokemon fight each other.

They fight each other. And they used to collect the bugs and that have bug wrestling matches as well. Oh. Him and his friends used to have bug wrestling matches. Oh, my God. fights. Yeah, but with like dog.

They'd put them in a shoebox and basically watch them wrestle and fight with the big bugs. Peter wouldn't be very happy with that, would they? No. Protection ethical, talented agents, I don't remember.

Talented animals. The protection of ethical, entertainment, talented animals. Protection of entertainment talent animals. We've got to do it. So today's fact of the day is Pokemon was invented by a

man who missed the fields in meadows that gave him insects that he fought with his friends. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-da-do-do-to-do-to-do-to-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do. The Z-N-Hodhan-Back. Yesterday I was out living my life after work and popped to the supermarket.

Right. I bought a handbag, bachelor's handbag. Yeah, now we're talking. Yes. I bought an avocado. Perfect. Was it a good avocado? Perfect.

Had some bite. This is a sign of a good day. Yeah. When there's a good avocado at the supermarket, it sucks when they're like, avocados, $6 each and you pick them up and they rock hard, or you can feel they've already wasted away on the inside. Yeah.

And I was tasked by my dad some deodorant. What did you go for? My mum didn't even specify. Spray or roll? I thought about my dad, and I thought he gives rise. Roll. Dad's give roll. Dad's give roll. I think he'd miss the pit if he went aerosol, you know. Okay. So I went like a Mitchum powder fresh or something like that. Oh, okay. Just a roll on, a nice wet roll on. Wait, when you say you bought me a gift, is it deodorant? Do I smell? No, no, no, no.

You always smell quite nice. You smell chipper. Thank you. Absolutely great. Do I smell delicious? Absolutely great. Um, I haven't sniffed you hard enough, I think. But I give delicious. Sometimes you smell like a, he's giving delicious. Sometimes you smell like a fresh open bag of burger rings. If you know you know That first hit That first hit of the birds What are you so important Alan Smith

It's that first thing we go Why are you in a naughty mood today Shit that's familiar aim I don't know Yeah I don't know Yeah very naughty Well it's not a bag

It's not a burger rings Okay But I saw something And I was like At the supermarket At the supermarket I've brought it in Hang on

Okay Okay Let's get it for my bag Okay You know I love a I love the setup of a pringle. What is the setup of a pringle?

In a tube. Oh, right. Right? Over a bag. Yeah. I saw these and I thought, you must have them. What? Paley, no!

In these Pringles-esque cans was a selection of other chips that are not Pringles. There were like mini grain waves in a tube. There were, I can't remember the other ones, but these were the Cheetos. minis cheese and bacon cheese balls. They're really good. They're good.

Then I don't think they're as good as cheese balls, but they're delicious. But they're in a tube. Wait, but are they still balls, but they're in a tube. But they're minis in a tube. And I just, I knew it would delight him. Look at them. Oh my God. This is from our soup, Mike.

I love. It's from Countdown. No, Countdown in the Mall. Yeah, good. How many are they? Many balls. Come a lot. Look at that.

Yeah, they're not as big as the one in the packet. It's not going to be as many as in a back. That would actually be a really good comparison. Do you reckon, how many do you reckon I pour into my mouth from the tube? I reckon hates. I think one whole third of the tube. Oh my God. Oh God, I'm getting a sight of something.

Not a gag reflex. Not a gag reflex in sight. Just a mouth full of balls. I freak myself up there. You've got a chew. You can't even put too many in. They want common. You are coming.

I can't count them I'm not going that I'm not Can you do Can you do a More than your usual too Should we say Wow yeah

Play ZM's Flesh forne and Haley If you see a faded sign At the side of the road That says 15 miles to a Shannon's hack A Shannon's hack baby Producer Shannon joins us for one of her infamous hacks Yeah

Does infamous mean good or bad? It can mean either. If someone was like Hitler, they were infamous, right? Hill it wasn't famous. Infamous murderer, Adolf Hitler. But you could also say infamous philanthropist, insert philanthropist here. David Edinburgh. No, he's not an infamous philanthropist.

He's an environmentalist. Melinda Gates. Is a philanthropist. I won't use Bill. I wouldn't say she's infamous either. There's got to be a connotation that they've done something. The infamous Ned Kelly. I mean, a bit of an old reference there.

He's naughty. No, yeah, infamous doesn't have to be naughty. I think it does. But it's like flammable and inflammable. I mean the same thing, that's annoying. Okay, infamous describes someone as or something with a very bad reputation, notorious, or well-known, or for shameful evil or scandalous actor. How dare you call my hacks, infamous then?

Your infirmist is pole pot. Oh, very bad reputation. I'll stand by it. In this is Jack the Ripper. Infamous philanthropist to Bill Gates. Okay. Yeah, Bill. He's been to the island.

What's the theme of your hack? It's one for the girlies. Childer, that I identify as such. Yeah. Now, one of the biggest things I struggle with in life is jars. I can't open them. I didn't think she was going to say jars. No, I didn't.

What did you think? Don't be mean. We don't have time. So I've got a jar opener. Well, so I used to have a... Is this just clicking the side of it so it releases the ear and then turning it with a spoon? No, because I do that and it still sometimes I can't get it open. happened to me yesterday. I had some pickles.

She weak. Man, how good of pickles. Yeah, well, except... Pickles are my favourite thing. Sweet and salt. Yeah, Sweden's salt. Yeah, but as previously mentioned, not chewing, so I had to mash it with a fork. It was weird. Puckle mash. Also, my pickles have gone up in price. They rebranded the pickle jar, like, to a flash a label, and they've put an extra couple of bucks

on it. What brand are you doing pickles? I don't know. The cheapest brand. The domain ones. No, that's a posh one. That's a posh brand. Is it? Yeah. Not as Pash as like a McLures. A McLaur's, or an Oldercans. Oldesters are a posh pickle brand. The McClure's sponsored the Toast Sandwich competition, don't they?

Who's the yellow one? Yeah, that's the one I get. They do the Cornishol. Yeah. They do the Cornishol. You know, they've re-branded that and that's a bit more spending. Sun Valley?

Yes. Is that it? Sun-something-A. Yeah. What's the Pack and Save brand? That's my, I go for the cheapest ones of those ones. Home brand. No, somehow.

Pams. Budget. Budget. Could be budget. No frills. No frills. No frills. isn't around anymore. That's gone.

I think it's Pams. Because Pams is also a great jar to hold onto for other jarring experiences. Pem nail a day. Now I said jarring experiences that makes it sound like emotionally jarring experience when you're going to jar other things. Because you know I got my, did I tell you I harvested my honey? Yeah, 30 KGs, right?

I'm going to, first time 30 KGs I've got another. Well, I'm going to need to see some of this honey. Yeah, well, it's going to be in an old, it's going to be in an old pickle jar. Well, if you can't get it open, boy, do I know someone with a hack for you, Vaughn? Exactly. It's all around about. Great. bring it back. That's always the best in the business.

Now, the girlies love Pilates, right? Famously, I love Pilates. I've been so Pilates. Just an update, you signed up to the Pilates class by your house. How many times have you been? So, yeah. Can you just give me your membership? Can I just be Haley Spruz? No. No, I haven't. See, the problem is you have to do an orientation.

I thought you're going to say an orientering. You have to find your way there using a compass. You've got orienteering. No, you have to do an orientation. orientation and you can't, it's only your Thursday nights and Sundays and they don't work for me. Right. Okay.

Well, the girl is, love... What was that saying, hot on, I can just interrupt once again. But the 10th interruption in this. Yeah, stellar. Carry on. Segment. What was that saying about excuses that folks putting on you? Open that up, because you just said you can't make Sunday and one,

and other time. It's weird because she was in bed having a wine the other Sunday and Thursday nights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sunday and Thursday, a wine in bed. Am Hwant to do, thank you. I will read out the quote as it will inspire others to make decisions. Your excuses will destroy you and take everything you ever wanted if you let them. Fletch told me this that it can completely change to the way I live my life.

And now I never let excuses get in the way. Except on Thursday and Sunday night. Except for Thursday evenings at 7pm and Sundays. I've got my bed wine. Now, Shannon, how am we getting into a jar? Okay, the girlies love a Pilate sock. Now, if you don't know what that is, it's a grippy sock. Grip sock.

It's got like, imagine silicone. Now girlies Oh, I had these when I had surgery I got some of these That's the other way you can have them A grippy sock Or people Go to jump

Yes, jump Now you're talking Now you're talking Okay so lots of people have grippy socks If you don't Secondary hack Get a hot glue gun And a sock

And you can just do some little dots On the back of it I reckon there's a shit hack That's a one star It sucks It'll get better It'll be like sticky It'll be like hard and boring

No no no But my hack for you today Is Use a Pilate socks as a gripper to grip your jar. Okay, it's actually not bad. I get it. You put it on your hand like that.

It stops you being sticky. It doesn't dirty the sock. Like we're also not wasting a wash of the sock. I've got silicone oven mats. That is actually that's a goer as well. This is a way to not spend money getting a jar rope now. I know everyone's going to come and be like, hey, you can get a jar rope now. I don't want to spend money.

My jar o'n't want to spend money. I'll say it. I've got a teet towel. No, they don't know. It's slippery. It's slippery. And I'm by myself. I'm a weak woman. I said it and only I am a weak woman.

She is sucking chicken. I'm sucking chicken. She can't chew at the moment. I'm matching my pickles. Pickles must be mashed and chicken must be suckable. And please don't DM me what else I can suck on. I know it's coming and I don't want to. Exactly.

I've got something you can, thank you very much. 9-6-9-6. Shannon's followers do go up after comments like that. Yeah, they do. So please refrain from that. Shannon trade trim on. Yeah. But are we loving this?

I'm loving us. Yeah, it's great. I'm going to give it a, I want to say four. Yeah. I want to say four. Have you seen those mad people? Someone just messaged and stab the top with a sharp knife. Have you seen people?

No, no. One of my best mates' moms does this. It's madness. Because if you slip, you're in A&E. Oh, it's just insane. No, you can just get a spoon on the side and pry it and let the air out and it just comes off. But I did that. I did that.

I do it, but I still couldn't. I do it. I do it. I do it. I do it. I was a sucking on a chicken. I can't say it. I was you adored it for a sucky chicken.

But when I do it, I couldn't, I still couldn't open it. Like I released the air, but I still didn't have the grip strength. Okay, so use the sock. Any crusty sock will do, the grip sock from Pilates. Next time you're in a pickle, use a Pilates sock to open your jar. They should have made that bad. It's posth you a star, actually. It's four.

Oh, I did it. It's three. It's good. 3.5. 3.5? Yeah, I'll go 3.5. 3.5. Let's go 3.5.

That's fantastic. Oh, wait a minute, I've got to go back and find the bit. Yeah. And also I feel I didn't thank the family that pay for the YouTube premium. Because you forgot them. Yeah, I forgot my family. Oh, and that way we missed the words. Okay, here we go.

3.5. If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says 3.5 for share. The ZDM Podcast Network. Play Z-Ns, Flet's One and Haley. Joining us in studio from the newsroom, Brin Rudkin. Good morning. Yeah, good morning, good to be here. How are you before?

I don't use bulletins this morning. Yeah, thank you. A bit of variety. Yeah. Top notch. Yeah, but a sport at the end. Thank you for the birthday. Shout out last Friday.

You're welcome. Official chance to say thank you for that. No. Very kind and caring. Did you have a good day? I did have a great day. I had a great day. Thanks for checking in.

Did you come in and get some cake? I didn't. No, I forgot. He had three of them. I know. Very lucky boy. He's a lucky boy. He's a lucky boy.

He's a lucky boy. Now, what about personally, Bryn? What's happening? Nothing really, yeah, just busy working. Dating life? No, no updates. Quiet? Very quiet.

Have you found yourself a new medium? I haven't. So if anyone is a medium who's listening right now and would like to do a session with me, please, 9-6-9-6. 9-6-9-6. You're going to date with that one that time. We talked about that, the older woman. R-A-P.

Yeah, no, she's... RIP, hey, rip. That's a pretty much older people. They up and time. Yeah, they do. Well, it's time now for a segment not enough for the news news news, where Bryn reads the news stories

that didn't quite make the news. Kielda, good morning, I'm Bryn Rudkin. Transport officials in L.A. have pulled a public service announcement reminding passengers not to poop on city buses. Yes, an actual campaign asking commuters to keep things contained. The videos encourage riders

to report what officials called crappy behaviour, alongside smoking, drinking and loud music. Proof some passengers really take the number two bus literally. So on the bus, though, the symbols, you know, no smoking, smoking, smoking, cross through it. Animals, cross through it, eating, drinking, cross through it. Who?

Taking a turn on the floor, cross to it. It's sad. It's sad that America's come to this. Have you ever been on the LA bus and some of them are pretty grim. I have literally been on an LA bus where someone had shit themselves, so that's fair.

Carry on, please. Meanwhile, a theatre hosting a Pepper Pig show has banned pork products for the performance. Bacon and sausages were removed from the menu out of respect to the pig family who wouldn't have to smell

the scorching, delicious skin of their ancestors. Because nothing ruins a children's show like Pepper, spotting a suspiciously familiar hot dog going into a small person's mouth. Grammar? Back to the US now where a children's book author is on trial,

accused of murdering her husband. Prosecutors alleged she laced a Moscow mule with fentanyl, leading to a brough, oh, that's lovely, before hitting the floor and dying. Are you, or if you drink a musco, but you're the rulings, you're going to say, oh, cups cold. Oh, that's lovely.

A drink that went from happy hour to final hour. This is a woman that wrote that book. right? The how to get over grief? That's right. At least you didn't write a cocktail recipe book. That didn't sound genuine that laugh. No, I will say I forced the laugh because I wrote the joke.

Yeah. Well, I mean, does that tell you something? I had to sort of cue the audience when to laugh. Right. I'll say fell a bit flat. Oh, shit. I do it when I do my stand-up as well, Brian. Finally, a Chinese influencer has reportedly lost around 140,000 followers

after a beauty filter glitch briefly revealed her natural face mid-live stream. Fans, devastated to learn she suffers from a rare condition, certified minger syndrome. I'm Bryn Rutkin and that's enough, no, not enough for the news news news. Oh, that's fantastic. Thank you so much, Bryn. You've got such dolcet tones, doesn't he? Beautiful. I was thinking of getting into like, the meditations and doing my own little meditation.

Like the car map ones. Yeah. Give us a go. Give us a go. I can't sleep. What do they do on the car map? Do they, don't they read books? They talk you through like a meditation or they do a story.

Right. Just talk me through. Do that. If you're having a bad day, close your eyes. Breathe. Let it go. Oh my God, it'll be so good. Let it all go.

Yeah, that's good. That was relaxing. Yeah, yeah. It's actually really relaxing. I've let it go. Have we got ads to play? No. Oh, okay.

Louis Capaldi. Oh, well, he's going to ruin the vibe, isn't he? He is. Oh, actually, this is kind of his vibe. This is his vibe. It's kind of his vibe. I used to mind us to me. The Z&P Podcast Network.

I have been, I've made a purchase, and I got home yesterday, and there were a couple of packages for me. Right, so this no shopping thing's going really well. Who said I was doing no shopping? You kind of inferred it yourself. Did I do? You said you were going to do a thing where you only shopped on,

you were going to put things in carts and then set an alarm, put on your phone for that Monday, and Monday was going to be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If you had a recording of me saying that. It's on the podcast. Oh, well, I'll believe it when I listen to it on I Heart Radio or wherever you. That's a KPI.

We've your podcast. Fantastic. So I did purchase something from Trade Me and I'd forgotten about it because it was a long time ago, like a couple of weeks. I forgot. It might actually be before she talked about. not shopping so that she's got us there. No, I think you'll find that it's probably exactly at the time.

17th of February, I made this purchase on Trade Me, one of my favourite shops. We get you like two weeks ago. That is literally like last week. It was last Tuesday. That's crazy, man. Time. It's time. Whoa, blown.

Anyway. It's bad. Your shopping's bad when you purchased something. And a week later you forgot your purchase. I'm in a haze. So I get home yesterday and there was a box. there and I was just like moved it to the side so I wanted to sleep on the bed

and I moved it to the side and they woke up to like I was like what the hell is that it was my cat and he was sniffing this package this big box that had been like taped up and stuff and going crazy like I was like oh my god I've never seen him like this and then I was like oh my god I know exactly what that is it's an animal head

it's a new piece of taxi termy that I bought it so I remembered that I've got I'm trying to collect three heads. I've got the Arctic fox head, and I want two more to go in this kind of spot. Because that's a design thing, eh, in threes. It's in threes.

And I have another thing on one side of the TV that's in a three. And on this side of the TV, I need a three. And so I was like, I'm going to do animal heads. Yep. So I was like, you're right, Rolly. There is an animal in there. And so I moved him out. How well has this been taxied him if he can smell the jelly mate left over?

I would say, as I cut open the box, I was a love. armed at how alive it smelled. There was a waft. Woffed. But that'll just be... The fur is... Probably the hot depot. Strong. Might have been the hot depot.

Yeah, fur, horns. These are all like living... You know, like the fur... Is it a keratin? Is that what's in it and stuff? And so, yeah, it remains. So it was described to me... I got it for such a bargain price. It was described to me as a small goat head

with an overall height of 52 centimetres. Nice, neat little piece. Okay. So I pull it out. And I'm immediately delighted. I'll show you guys a photo. Maybe we can chuck this up on the socials. But there's my little goat.

Oh, that can't go with an Arctic Fox. Yes, you can. That's a federal goat. That's a run-of-the-mill state-state arts. But we mix it up, and then the third one will be something else. Is this roadkill from State Highway 1, Haley? That's shot from the passenger seat of a high luck. He's got a happy little face.

You know how some taxi do we can look really tortured? Yeah. We could chuck it up on socials. We'll get the listeners to name him. I'm assuming it's a guy. Right. And he's going to go up, but I tell you who's upset about it. Does he have a billy guy?

Uh, no. Might be a nanny. Freshly shaved. Well, of course your cat's upset about it. He wants to eat it, but it can't. Yeah, he's very upset by the presence of it. We did maybe puppeterum slightly and have it like poke his head out behind the doors. And he was like, getting down low and was like about to attack it and stuff.

Like this and ran away. But once he takes his place on the wall. Yeah. So when you watch TV now, you have these sort of light, over here and on this one is a fox and a goat. So you got one final head to collect? One final head to collect. I was hoping for something like a badger. You know, something kind of a bit woodland.

Right. We don't have badges, though. No, I know. It will have to be illegally imported from abroad. Or old. And it's gone in here before that. Or old before that rule was frowned upon. Are you going to chuck a glade plug in behind it on the wall? Stop the smell? Yeah, I might spritz it with just some nice, you know. No, I'd go for a natural.

smell and just plug in a glade fresh piss. Because that's what feral goats smell like. That's actually what you might have been smelling. They whey on each other. And the billy goats weigh on themselves. Well, we'll get it up on the... Someone just text in. Are you going to taxi Dermy Raleigh?

It has crossed my mind. No, you can't taxi Dermy... Yeah, because then you'll miss your cat and you'll see it. It'll make you sad. Yeah, and it just won't move. Yeah, yeah. I don't think this was anyone's pet, as you say. That's a feral goat.

I think, yeah, one of the Jussie vans must have hit it. And now he's on my wall. Play ZM's Flash for him and Haley. Guys, this is not great news. We're not saving enough. No, I know I've been thinking about this recently. Just having purchased a goathead. Yeah.

A taxidermid goathead, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm aware that my thoughts and actions often don't align. But thinking, I don't have a great retirement plan. No, so Westpac have come out, and they have done a nationwide, of their customers' accounts. Can they do that? Analsis. Sorry, they've done some analysis.

And they have found that one in three Kiwis have less than $500 in savings. Okay. Savings being in the green, eh? In the black. What's the point of having savings, though? For a rainy day, Vaughan. In case of emergency, what's the point? What's the bloody point?

So more than a third of New Zealanders have a savings balance of less than $500, according to the new data. The breakdown showed that Aucklanders were struggling the most to put money aside because... Expensive up here. It's expensive. Auckland. Yeah.

Another overview found that 36% of people didn't have $500 in their savings at near quarter, making monthly automatic payments into their savings accounts. Yeah. The average Kiwi has a medium saving balance of 2,700. 28% have a savings balance of more than 15,000. Don't they say you've got to have maybe a few months of your salary? up your sleeve. As like a kind of a...

I reckon I've got enough money to afford salary for a few months. Yeah? No, no, no. No, darling. Your salary, your work salary, your income.

That's what I mean. Yeah. Salary. I mean, but it is. It's hard. It's grim out there. It's cost of living, everything.

It's like, you know, a lot of people just living pay day to pay day. So that was a massive jump. You said one in three have less than 500. And then you had another figure with who's got over 15,000.

Yes. So it feels like it's poles apart. People are able to either have a good whack of savings or nothing. Yeah, basically, yeah. Not many people in the middle. Also, people would be saving for a house, right? That's often what people are saving for. Yes.

But if you're not saving for a house, are you saving for retirement or a holiday? Or is it savings? Or are you putting your money somewhere else into like funds and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or shares, and that wouldn't show up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I saved money for a house. but then I use that money to buy a house

which costs more money. And now I'm forever in debt. And you say you own your house but not really. Not really. Yeah. That's like saying I own this cake and you're only allocated one slice. Yeah.

Yeah. This is my cake you say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's fun and you can eat the cake and decorate the cake. Right. But ultimately... I've got no money left for sprinkles.

It's a great analogy. This is a great analogy. Yeah. I got a big plane cake. Your house needs icing. Yeah, it needs icing and sprinkles. And you can't even afford sprinkles. It's a little bit dry.

Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? Give us a review. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.