ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - January 21st 2026

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

On today's episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod,  Chat GPT is getting ads Top 6 - Replacements for lack of teachers Live event on Netflix Hilary Duff is back SLP - Do you bring toothpaste when you stay at someone's house? Fletch is looking HOT in his new glasses What did you find at the beach? Hayleys Aunt story Sophie Ellis-Baxtor Interview Double Yolker Redemption Story Fact of the day What's the family beef? Trail Run - The Convincers Are you dead app Hayley is a snorer Goodbye with Georgia See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is... Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod. Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughn and Haley. Just been a post from Harry Stiles. Long Tase.

Long T's. Well, no, Carwin might have got the date wrong. Oh, Jan. Jan. 23rd of Jan. That's Friday. Aperture. Judging by his Instagram story.

I can see how the mistake was made, Jan June. Yeah, various two J ones. Start with J. There's an N in there. A. U doesn't look anything like an A. Yes, it does. Just without the roof.

It's like a convertible A. It is, it is. Well, there you go. New Harry Styles Friday. That's exciting stuff. That'll be Friday, America time, though, right? Or UK time or something? Maybe, yeah, so maybe Saturday.

Or late. Lateh time. Or late, Eastern Harry time. Eastern Harry time. E. H.T. That's correct. January 23rd, Midnight, UK. So midday Saturday?

Yeah. For us? Okay. I'm excited. I mean, that last couple of albums have been incredible. Million dollar summer continues this week despite the weather. Oh, it got me down yesterday. With our beach dig coming, your shot at $1 million cash in the last few days.

So this morning, 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock, your chance to call through and register and get in to be in to win that $1 million cash. Get in. The top six on the way, Vaughan? Yeah, we've got a teacher shortage. Schools are about to go back, and we have a drastic teacher shortage. Can you blame them? Well in the TV, mate.

Oh, now we're talking. Well, in the TV. Now we're talking. Put on a divida. Yeah, put on a big three-hour movie. That's half the school day. I've got the top six replacements for teachers. I tell you what, not good replacements, but possible replacements.

Right. Next on the show, though, chat GPT, friend of the show. Friend of the show. You guys have given in, I haven't given in, yeah. I call mine Ouse. He calls me Ouse too. Yeah. I call mine Alan and sometimes Alan calls me Alan and I have to reiterate that I'm not

Alan, I'm born. It's a bit dumb, but boy is he smart. Well, if you're not paying for it, guess what? Tell you next. The ZM Podcast Network. Is this a show real? Play ZM's flesh, born and Haley. Now, I use AI technology and I'm afraid to admit that.

Do you know I'm on right now? Very handy. Getting a nap routine, that's PCOS friendly. Brilliant. A nap routine. Well, I just cannot get enough sleep at night, you know? Have you tried going to sleep earlier? No, no, there's way more fun things to do in bed than go to sleep.

So I'm trying to implement a nap. No, I live with my parents. It's all awkward timing. Not everybody's this guy, eh? Why, you're banging them in the afternoon? Yeah. Well, got things to do. I've got things to do, mate.

Jobs to be done. Jobs to be done. What? Money to be mate. Oh, God. So I love Chachypita. It's done a great job. I asked how I could get more protein in my breakfast

because you know me, chicken breast. Chicken breast than my porridge. Yeah, that's what it said. It's said to introduce chair seeds and a bit of yogurt and some of this, you know, a nut butter thing with some protein in it. It's more filling for long.

It might actually cut down your toilet time, which will be great for us. Really good for us. Because chair seeds rip through you. Oh, I love, love. They sort of expand and then lube up your anus. Straight out. Yeah.

Like a hydraslide for the. other food. Well, they are little balls, aren't they? They're rolling down the hill on the balls. Straight through. Like that Sony ad from years ago. Oh, my God. What was the song?

And what was the song in the background? Jose Gonzalez Heartbeats. Yes. And it was like those slow bouncy balls. It was for a television, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Rip that song on. Let's get into a bit of heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez.

Yeah, it was a song. Yeah, it was a song. Boing. This is also like on every TV show and movie ever. when there's a sad scene. Yeah. And so chair seeds are bouncing. Through your colon.

Through your colon. Not if you're going to get a colonoscopy. You're not allowed to have them little seats. No, you're not. No, little seeds. That's my to-do list. A book a colonoscopy. I think I'm due for one this year too.

No wonder you can't get to bed early. You haven't booked your colonoscopy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Book colonoscopy. Are you due to have someone look up the back door as well? I just keep it sharp. Exit only. Fair enough.

As God intended. Yeah. I just roll the dice on that one. Oh, Jesus. No, I don't think you roll the dice on. We've got to go somehow. What are we talking about, CHAPT? ChadGBT.

Ads will be introduced to free users who only get so many questions a day anyway. And not as intelligent ones. And there is a big article about OpenAI about doing this. So I went to Open AI. They've released a big statement. Too long for me to read. I copied that into ChatGPT, which is owned by Open AI. open AI and I said, can you summarize this for me?

Now, if that's not a big loop of, big loop of loops, I'm not sure. So it tells me, every time you AI something, you put something in, you're wasting like trees and water and everything, yeah. The water. It's done nothing but rain the last couple of days. I'm happy to use some of that up. Can we catch that? My ground is sodden.

You actually put a cup out and then pour it over your laptop, and then the AI will soak up the water. Gorgeous. That you've wasted by asking the question. Yeah, it's like the equivalent. of ticking that box when you book a flight, like offsetting your carbon. Yeah, it doesn't... Basically, it doesn't cost the planet.

Yeah. So ChatGBT.T has introduced a low-cost ChatGPT go-plan $8 a month and plans to test ads on the free and go-tiers in the USA soon. So if you're free or paying the cheap one, you're going to get ads. Now, they say that it'll only be ads that relate to what you're talking to Chat-GPT about. Oh. So if you're getting a bit of therapy, it might chuck a help. Is it a better help?

Yeah. Which is the therapy that always gets advertised on podcasts. Do you remember people always got caught out in the early days of targeted advertising before they understood it? They're like, why is this advertising this to me? It's like, because you've been Googling that, dude. Because you've been looking at up, I'm looking up things online. I'm not interested in that shit. I think you are, Dad.

I don't know why you need a butt plug with the fox tail on it. Like, whatever. Whatever. If you want to be a furry in your 50s, you're not going to stuff out there. You've Googled something. Do it. So it's saying, initially. test will appear only at the bottom of answers,

be clearly separated from a... That can't be the end of that song. Yeah, it's a short song. Good just for an ad or a sad scene in a movie. Well, we don't want any other González's songs. No, we cannot. He's only a one-hit wonder.

There we go, beautiful, beautiful. So chair seeds bouncing through the colon. Grembing everything with it. Bling, come with me. I think it's amazing that a small Mexican mouse in such a large shrumbrero transition from being a rascal into being such a successor.

Different Gonzales, Vaughn. It's like the Mexican Smith. Oh, is it? Yes, a lot of you. There's a lot of you. I do apologize. Common as Mark. I do apologize.

It will be shown only to logged in adults, so children won't be served ads. Avoid sensitive topics like health, mental health and politics. Okay, so mental health. Yeah, because you don't want your mental health AI answer to be sponsored by, you know, like, I don't know, lifesavers. Lollies or... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, got to be sensitive. Sensitive. Allow users to dismiss ads and give feedback on the ads.

Which you can do on pop-up ads You can be like not interested in this ad Or on social media If you don't want to see it You can be like not interested in this ad When you search for something You buy it and then you get targeted For a month

Until you buy it You can say no thank you Yeah Okay well you're gonna have to I pay So this isn't gonna affect me You're gonna have to get on someone's family plan Because this is only gonna get more expensive

So you're gonna have to get on someone's family You're gonna have to get on my plan Fletch Well I haven't given into AI yet It will improve your life greatly. Just let it take care of all the boring, mundane stuff. This guy doesn't have boring mundane stuff. He just has fun life.

Travelable world. That's why he gets to bed early in the night. Yeah, and shags in the afternoon. Gosh. Excuse me. Sometimes in the morning if we can get out of here early enough. Oh, I know. This is outrageous.

Before the clock's over to PM. Morning is for the gym. No, so what did you just say yesterday afternoon you didn't shag? I didn't do anything. That's the first time we're 21 days into the year and that's the first time they didn't shag in the afternoon. Oh, my gosh. Literally everything.

Poor guy. Oh, my God. This is, didims over here. Didoms. Put into your chat, GPT, liable and slander. Oh, no. No, no, no, because you,

now the onus is on you to prove him wrong. I'm going to say, I know that much about liable and slander. If you say something and you kick up a fuss about it, you have to be able to prove what I'm saying isn't true. I'm on chat, GPT now saying best time for a shag. Short answer whenever you both want to. Longer, morning testosterone peaks,

higher libido, better erections, efficient, slightly feral. And those results. Slightly feral in the morning. Chair Gipti said efficient and slightly feral. Yeah, because of the breath. Because you're like, the ZM Podcast Network

Play ZM's Fletch Fawnan and Haley. From the Fletch Vaughan and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Hello there. We don't have an adequate amount of teachers to start the year. Well, time is ticking, because when does school go back?

When do your girls? go back. Well, Indy goes back next week on the 27th. She's at high school. She's going to start not, like, bunking high school, eh, wagging. I started wagging about 14. I think this is quite a hard school to wagging from. Boys, eh.

Boys and... Bada they're there. Marijuana. Yeah, fortune. No, they don't have marijuana. Wow. She's scared of the kids that vape, which I really like. That is cute.

She said, I saw something vaping. And August, who doesn't go back until the 9th of February? is ridiculous. That's crazy. That's her a don't. You should bring her in here and we'll have a third producer. That's a good idea. That'd be a great idea.

She can do like paperwork and stuff. Yes. I've got some like admin. She can do some, she could take your admin. Whole punching. Yeah. Because you know Shannon gets sick of hole punching everything.

There's so much hole punching to be done. Oh, to put it in the ring binder. Yeah. And file it under the correct colored tab in my ring binder. Yes, exactly. Or she can put on those little circles that went around the hole in the paper to add extra strength. I didn't like using those because they made, they made it. too big.

And you couldn't fit it out a bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Double the thickness of the paper at one specific point.

It wasn't ideal. Yeah. Two, when you were talking ring binder, did you ever have a ring binder that had three arms on the... Oh, that's posh. That was posh. Yeah.

Because there were the holes in most refills, four. There was like five holes. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't even know what they're missing out on. No. Bring your own devices and stuff.

It's all on the cloud. It's all on the iPad. They won't know. Top six. Inadequate. replacement for teachers, but we're desperate and desperate times call for desperate measures. Number six on the list, let's face it, AI.

Yeah, okay. I mean, we joke, but that's probably the future, isn't it? AI has been whipping up a storm for me this morning. When does it tell you, when's the best time for a PCOS friendly nap? Pre-2pm. Yeah, of course. Pre-2pm, but it's given me a full night-time routine and I says, in bed at 815,

I'm not doing it, you know? That's impossibly. Not doing it. That's my shag time. We've clarified that. It told you to shag in the morning. morning. Yeah, because you love feral. Because I'm feral.

Because you're feral. How feral and efficient. Number five on the list of the top six inadequate replacements for teachers. YouTube videos from Miss Rachel. You're familiar with Miss Rachel? My friend came and stayed at the weekend with his two toddlers and

tell you what Mr. Rachel got a hiding so the parents could have a couple of drinks and a bit of a chat. Miss Rachel, right? And now the algorithm's all cooked because the kids were watching all the... Oh, I'd let somebody listen to something on my Spotify and it was...

Now it's all out of whack and... Yeah, I've done that before. Ah, it's not. Who's not? Who's the story? Who was it? Who was it? What was it? What was it? It's really not. It's really not. It's really not. It's really not. A lot of Beyonce. I was just say that.

You were drinks and a lot of Beyonce. I was like, there's too much Beyonce now on my Spotify. Oh, because you're a Bionse fan. You said, I'm not a Bionsellerated. I said overrated. Name a song. Yeah, I said it. Name a song. Off the lemonade album. He said name a song. You can't. I said lemonade. I said lemonade. Because that's just me assuming.

Number four on the list of the top six. inadequate replacements for teachers. Harold, the draft, needs to step up, become a full-time teacher. Because he's part-time in the truck, and he doesn't talk. He only talks to his assistant. He needs to be brave and talk to everybody.

We actually know Harold, don't we? This is targeted. The man behind. We know the man that put his hand up Harold. Yeah. We've all put our hand up a Harold. Have we? It's 2026.

Yeah. Okay. Spittance back. Okay. Move on the list of the top six inadequate replacements for teachers. I was thinking we're short on teachers, something we've got a lot of forestry slash. You know, whenever there's a big rainfall, it all gets washed down the creek.

Yeah. Onto the beaches becomes dangerous. Branches and off-couts of forestry. Forestry didn't want them. How's that going to teach our kids? I don't know, Haley, but we've got an excess of it. Right. Just get the kids cleaning it up.

They'll learn about nature. And hard work. And how to drive diggers and stuff. Yeah. Great idea. How to get out of splinter. And then when they're like, br-ro-ro, we're cold. you've just got so much firewood.

Yeah, make a fire. Wet, though. Number two on the list. A little dry. And salty. Yeah, put it somewhere and put a little cover over it. Number two in the list of the top six are inadequate replacements for teachers, groundskeepers. Bet they've got some stories to tell.

That's your dream job, isn't it? To become a groundskeeper one day. A tank around, mow the lawns. I would have that school. That bins loose. Get in there. Get in their time out. Yeah, yeah.

Just constant, like little outings to might of ten. Yeah. Sitting in your shed. them. Yeah. Listen to the radio. Yeah, and get given those kids that are holding everybody else back in class. You know, come with me.

But they need to be doing something because they need to be at school. Do they still do that? I wouldn't imagine so. Did you have a kid at school that hung out with the groundskeeper or a lot? No, I wouldn't imagine that's a thing they do, born. Not anymore, right? No. And number one on the list of the top six inadequate replacements for teachers.

Yellow Legged Asian Hornets. Okay. Because we've got those. I don't have kids, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. Keep them on their toes. Keep them fit. Yeah, keep them running, keep them moving. And they'll be able to identify them in the wild.

That's today's top six. The ZDM Podcast Network. What's going on? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Perusing what to watch on Netflix last night. You said you spent 45 minutes looking at trailers and what to watch.

We literally did a break yesterday. I know, no, no, no, no. I didn't want to watch another show. I didn't want to watch another show. I just wanted to watch some trailers. It's what I like to do. Right. I do it on YouTube all the time

and it just leads to the next one to the next one to the next one. You're like, that looks good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now there's AI trailers on my... I don't trust her. So the one that caught my attention is a Netflix live event. Now Netflix, did Netflix do the Jake Paul boxing live event? So they're doing a few more live events.

And the last live event went better than the first live event, right? The first live event crashed it, right? Yeah, yeah. And I think they really like gassed it up for stranger things. Because whilst it wasn't a live event, events so many people wanted to watch it the second it dropped yeah so they didn't want it to crash no they don't want it to crash so on january 23rd so i think it's like our saturday or friday yeah Alex honold who you may not know just by name but he was the guy that started in that uh documentary

from 2018 called free solo about the first ever free solo climb so no ropes of al capitan in yosemite national park in californ have you watched it get a rope on mate i'd get a rope on or at least a little have a little parachute tank. I'd have a little parachute tag. One of those little base jumping ones, you know? Yes. If you haven't watched it, it's a hell of a documentary. Like, if you're... What's it called? Free Solo.

Free solo. It's, um, weak at the knees sort of stuff from the camera. Oh, I can't watch it, no, that's not. A bit of vertigo. Yeah, I'm not watching that. So he did that. He was the first person to ever climb El Capitan, which is just like the sheer cliff face. And he's done a whole lot of other things. He is going to be climbing Taipei 101. Taipei 101 is.

a skyscraper and from 2004 to the opening of the Birj Khalifa. It was, was Khalifa. I do apologize. Thank you. Sorry. Yeah. I've been wrong. I'm crazy.

Burj Khalifa is the singer. Wes Khalifa, the tallest building. For the moment, because Saudi Arabia are about to trump them with a massive tower. Are they? Are they? Yeah. Where's the sky tower are we up there? I know.

I've got some sky tower comparisons coming in soon. Okay. Okay. So from 2004 to 2010, Taipei 101 was a world's tallest building. It's one of the most earthquake and typhoon resistant skyscrapers ever built. And it stands at 508 meters tall and he's going to climb the whole thing.

Without ropes. Without ropes. Free climbing and live. And it's going to be live. Live on Netflix. So if he falls off, we watch him die. Are they cutting away or... No. Like is it when... They're going to do a five second buffer. Like when a streak... Yes. No, because what was that? It was the deep...

Remember there was a guy diving live. It was sponsored and it was going to be a live... broadcasts of the guy doing the blue hole dive in the Caribbean. Yes. I'll tell you what. It wasn't alive. It wasn't live. We had a little bit of media inside. There was a big buffer in case you don't. Death delay. Yeah, there was a death delay. Because you can't just live stream a death.

You shouldn't live stream a death. Well, you wouldn't think so, but we do live in 2026 now. We all watch Charlie Kirk get. Yeah, exactly. We've seen way worse on social media, haven't we? Yeah. So Tybal neck. Oh, I don't want to watch this. Would you actually watch it? I would never watch it. How long is it going to take? Yuck! It's going to take it back? Oh, no, I couldn't watch it.

Because do you remember, was it one of the Mission Impossible movies with Tom Cruise? He was on top of the Burge, Wiz Khalifa. Yeah. And even that was like, watching that. And he actually did that. When we went up the Burge Kalifa. Not going up that thing. Oh, it was just like, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you're standing on the observation deck, looking down at skyscrapers and they look tiny. You're just like, bleh. Why would I want to put myself up there? I don't belong up there. So if you want a Skytower comparison, in. The sky tower is 328 metres to the tippy top.

Love it. This is 508 metres to the tippy top. So if you take a sky tower and then another half a sky tower, that's how high he's climbing. And so he's going to climb no ropes. No ropes. That is insanity. What kind of like what things are there to hold on to? Like are there ledges at each level?

Or does he have those cup? No, no, no cups. Like there's window frames. He has a whip the Smith and Smith glass, I think. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Why doesn't he do, like, drugs or something? Do you know what I mean?

Like, if you're so in need of a thrill like this, just do meth or something. You know what? Like, we don't need to be scaling buildings like that. Get a better hobby. Yeah, yeah. What, meth's a better hobby. I wouldn't put meth on, I wouldn't say this hobby. He's clearly mad in wanting some kind of, like, psychotic thrill, so I'm like...

Yeah, yeah, or become like a serial killer. Yeah, the thrill of taking the lie. you know? The buzz is unreal. It is wild. Well, it's going to be live streaming on Netflix this weekend. So if you want to see somebody Scala Tower slash maybe die, knock yourself out. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. The millennial girls were beside ourselves because Hillary Duff is back, baby.

What are you showing us? Yeah, she's like, she's fit. She works it. I just said she's back with music but I said that she's still rocking A great dumper That great dumper She sure is She performed at the O2 in London

The famous venue there This song currently playing Was the last song of the night Which is of course This song from Lizzie McGuire The movie Which she recorded when she was 14 years old Wow

Listen Hey I'm made of Oh my God She hasn't performed this song for 18 years. Oh wow, okay. And everyone was, listen, the crowd's like going absolutely crazy. Beside themselves. I know.

She played a 17 song set list, but I was like, I don't know, she had 17 songs. I'll be honest. Excuse me, she's got come clean. Which one's that one? Yes, which one's that? Brilliant. Which one's that one? I'm so sorry.

No, I'm actually disgusted to myself. I even said that. Dare you. So she... The greatest Hillary Duff song. Does this mean we're going to get like a Hillary Duff tour? Well, she's got, she's in the UK at the moment. She's going all around America and then doing one, and then doing Toronto.

Yep. But no, like, down under. Snap. I think we need to scream for this. We need it all at her on all social media platforms and be like, come on down under. We love the hills. Great song. The Z&M Podcast Network.

Play ZM's Flashhorn and Haley. Lily Little Bowl, if you're staying at a friend's house, do you bring toothpaste with you? Haley doesn't, and she squeezes a tube funny. Yeah, I do. Does she do it from the middle? Yeah. She's an absolute monster. I'm just getting what I want.

Producer Shannon, this was an issue in your household, wasn't it? Yeah, my boyfriend saw me packing for the farmer I was going to. He's like, you forgot toothpaste. I was like, well, no, it's my best friend's house. And he's like, you can't do that. That's criminal. And he said, message her and ask if it's okay. Oh.

I was like, it's my best friend, so I messager and I said, would you be offended if I assumed I could use your toothpaste? And she's like, Shannon, we've done a lot worse, you know? Yeah, totally. No, but I think if you're going to stay, like, if you were just there, like, Haley's popping over before we're going out, absolutely used the toothpaste. But if I'm staying.

But if you're staying for like a week, you bring your own toothpaste. No, I was there, yeah. Toothpaste is not cheap. Nah. Eight days? No, I'm not taking toothpaste. What have they got junk toothpaste? Yeah, because I have to use the scentsidine and stuff.

Oh, Bubba. Yeah, because my teeth. They're hanging on by... Too much cordial. Yeah, lots... Too much cordial. Too much... Too much Raro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And jellie crystals. Yeah. And Milo, straight out of the packet. Oh, straight out of this packet. Well, we asked, if you're staying at a friend's house, do you bring toothpaste with you? 65% of people said yes, of course.

Okay. 35% said, no. Yeah. There's an etiquette thing here. Zanobia, I have a pre-packed toiletries bag that sits in my cupboard all year around. So no matter, how long I'm going for, where I'm going, everything I need is already packed. I just grab. rabbit in a way.

I go bag. Yeah, she's like a go bag. A little go bag. Tripti says, I'm hoping she or he do brush their teeth and are prepared to let me use some unless it's an unexpected, stay over. That would be such a red flag

if you went out on like a one-night stand and you went to brush your teeth there wasn't any toothpaste. And there was just like, how do you brush your teeth? Yeah, and be like, huh? And there was some churring sticks. Some willow sticks beside the thing for chewing on.

Seriously, sharing toothpaste with anyone is an ick. So, individual tubes for every member of the household. Wait, no, but if you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend, you're having the same tube of toothpaste, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you have different toothpaste.

She's saying sharing toothpaste. Now, not toothbrushes, toothpaste. Is it a nick. Oh, okay. I don't agree with that. I would find it odd. And I live with my parents. We just share a tube.

Your parents, a boomer, is it, have the cheapest toothpaste there is like that. It's not great. Aim or whatever. And then when I buy the red stuff, when I buy the red stuff, they're always like, What do you mean the red stuff? What's the red stuff?

The Colgate Opti optic light. Oh yeah, okay. The red, the expensive one. What about when someone buys one of those stand-up tubes? The stand-up cylinder and you. That's what the red one are. Oh, no, those are bougie. Yes, the hard plaster.

The hard plaster. You don't get as much. You don't like a deodorant tube. Yeah, it's hard to get it all out. You can't cut it open like your can of tube of toothpaste. Because it's anti-gravity. Who's cutting open a tube of toothpaste? Me.

The people are in a recession. I squeeze the, No, you squeeze the hell out of it. And then you cut it open and you use your toothpaste. There's at least two more brushes inside that thing if you cut the tube open. No. Not that desperate. Asia said you never know what the state of someone else's toothpaste

is going to be. I simply couldn't brush my teeth with one out of a tube where the lid hadn't been put on and it was all gunky around. Yeah, gunky. Oh yeah, it gets that little like solid cap on it. Yeah. Yoch. Not really good friends that I've flown, not really good friends that I've flown to see with only hand luggage they supply the toothpaste and I do

the same for them because otherwise, you know, you get that A travel toothpaste. Actually, you know, my Censidone's 100 100 grams. Check it in there, place. Yeah, no, you can put it in your carry on. Yeah. It's great, yeah.

I got one taken off me. A big one. I know, how annoying is something when it's 110? I know. Yeah, so mine's 115? Make it 100. We all fly everywhere.

That 10 mills was the difference between taking down a plane and not. Meanwhile, all the baggage handler's behind are all importing meth, but that's okay. Doesn't better. I don't worry about it. Yeah, worry a lot. My toothpaste, sir.

No extra 10 mils of toothpaste, sir. Okay. Yeah. I mean, the signs were there that they were on meth. Anyway, have you seen them throwing bags? So angrily. I know. Joel says, I got those little bitch teeth, so you know Daddy needs a pack as I'm sensitive.

Oh, Joel does have little bitch teeth. Tiny little fangs. Yeah. Lou said no, but if I'm going to be saying for ages, maybe I would. But one or two nights I would in its toothpaste. I don't bring Lou roll with me. No, but you don't expect someone to bring Lou roll. But you do expect someone to bring toothpaste.

You wouldn't bring soap. Hand soap. No, you wouldn't. You'd use their hand soap. You wouldn't, you wouldn't steal a handbag. You wouldn't sell a handbag. You wouldn't download a hairbag. You wouldn't download a car.

You wouldn't download body wash? No. I would. If you could. Well, then don't pirate a DVD. It depends on level of friendship, but one squeeze ain't worth toothpaste being all through my bag. Should there be a tube incident, says Caitlin. Okay.

M says I'm very particular about my toothpaste. Did you all know there are adults out there with orange or bubble gun-flavored toothpaste? How embarrassing. Yeah. I hate going to my best friend's house and she has all the, you know, watermelon stuff. And you're like, oh, yuck. Oh, yeah, the high smile or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I had that cola one. That was real yum. Yeah, I know, but you're not like, minty fresh to start the day. No, you're... Oh, co-a. Coal. And blueberries. And Melissa said, using somebody else's toothpaste is gross.

Really? She's against it. not icky for me. No, I wouldn't have thought. It's just like, it's just a cost thing. Like, bring your own year using my expensive toothpaste. Well, this is a little...

This is a little... This is how the rich stay rich. Yeah, exactly. They don't share their toothpaste. Yeah. If you're staying at a friend's house, so you bring your own toothpaste, 65% of you said yes, of course.

Play ZM's, Flesh, phone and haley. End of last year, you discovered you had some fast-moving, eye vision deterioration. It's not far. I mean, this is what happens when you get old. Everyone needs reading glasses. You said it happened within like a couple of months.

It did happen pretty quick. It was like, stuff got blurry. And I was like, is that gate three or eight? And I was like, doing that boomer thing where you hold your phone out real fun. Oh, God. Yeah, horrible. So I was like, I'll get an eye test. And yeah, I've got reading glasses.

He's got reading glasses. But my like far away vision is incredible. Like, I'm really good at those spot a mountain line in this rocky picture. Yeah. I'm just so good at those. I thought you were going to not look that good. in glasses. Because he never wears sunglasses.

Because he never wears sunnies. Whenever he puts on sunnies, he's always just like, I don't know that. I don't like them. No, because I never find, I've never found sunglasses that look good on me because I've got a different, I don't know, my face is weird.

It's munted. It's a munted, up, fast. It's such a munted face. It's like a smack ass and a half-eaten pie and a drunk pint and half-chured minty and a, you know. What happened? Yeah, a drop cheesecake, you know. Not one of those weird faces that you can make a career

of modelling out of. Yeah, no, not weird, His eyes aren't too far apart or too close. It's just off. It's just something's off. But you got glasses, but Vaughn, you got glasses in the time that I've been working here. So I had glasses from like eight years old to 26 years old, four eyes, four eyes. The glasses you wore as a kid, they were like coat bottles.

I looked like a little David Bain. Oh, a loser. What a loser. What a loser. Four-eyed loser. Yeah. Yeah. So I had, and then I got the LASIC eye surgery.

I didn't have glasses and that wore off. And I got glasses again a couple of years ago. Yeah, and it, like, you've gotten used to it. And it went under the radar pretty much. Yeah. No parade here. Yeah. No big rigamarole.

And then I don't get to wear, I'm wearing sunglasses at the moment because I've got a headache. But I don't need glasses yet, so I don't get to wear glasses and I'd love to. But she wants glasses because we put up a video on Monday, the return to the show, Fletch telling a story about his trip to a Brazilian hospital harrowing tale Fondon on our socials FVHZM. Correct. Thank you for that, sir, yeah. And I've done it, here are some of the comments.

Loving the glasses at Fletch N-Z. Yeah. A young lady there. Yeah. Shooting a shot. Mummy Cindy, the next Instagram user. Fletch has glasses. You're a grown-up now, Hon.

However, you do sound a little like you bought something extra home with you. Dot, dot, dot. What was that man? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I remember my results were all clear at the

Brazilian hospital. All of it. Top to bot. Megan Lindsay says, Fletch with glasses, Flame, Flame. Yeah. And that's got 24 loves.

Yeah. In the comment section. People getting so thirsty for it. There's women out lining up. Why are you guys so surprised about this? This is bullshit, didn't it? Basically heated rivalry here. You are.

Well, yeah, more than you know. Except I can't play hockey. I can't play hockey or ice skate. But you can do the rest of it. Sarah said Fletch with Glass is flame. That's had some likes as well. I know. Delayla Lealealea says looking good, Fletch, did you get a tan in a glob with that hospital or what?

Yeah. Yeah. Amy. I got none. None compliments on Monday. None compliments. None. Why aren't you upset that I'm getting compliments?

You should be happy. People would have message in and be like, damn, mommy, look at those goggles. You're wearing goggles? Damn, sprow. Looking fly, looking smart with your glasses. You don't wear wearing glasses. Nothing. You look like some DJ wanker wearing a sunglasses inside of the money.

I've got a header. You do. You love like a DJ Wanker. You look like DJ Wanker. Next up, ladies and gentlemen, welcome DJ Waker. Wukwwk, wuk, wuk, wak, wak, wak, wak, wak, wak, wow. You put your red bull up on your deck. Yeah, yeah.

Amy says I think Fletch with glasses has unlocked something inside me. People are so horny for it. I told you on basically season two of heated rivalry. Karen says love the glasses, Fletch. Nothing. No one was even listening to your decent story. They're just too busy feasting over your glasses. Yeah, fending a feasting.

Well, now Haley wants the I want glasses. Now, Hayley, I love as soon as anybody else gets any attention for something, Haley's like, well, I want that too. Well, I'll get glasses. I'm going to get glasses. I like the idea of glasses because you don't have to wear any makeup or anything. You just whack them on. Most of your face is covered. Well, you will need them eventually. No. Because everybody does.

No, I've got perfect vision. Yeah, they do. Both my parents have glasses and my brother. No, literally the optometrist said everyone gets them. Gets them. No, it's still crystal clear. So the optometrist said everybody gets them. And REM said everybody hurts. It's like just feels like everything's unavoidable. Yeah.

Everything happens to everyone. Everyone dies. Everyone pays taxes unless you live in Dubai. That's a good tattoo. We should get that. Everything happens to everyone eventually. Wow. I don't want that.

Deep, man, deep. That's deep man. Oh, now the text machine's popping off. Family get together. Wait, I'll stop this. Carry on. Yeah, no, stop this. He wants more.

He wants more. Just look at that video. Damn, Fletch. Yeah, yeah. Oh, someone said Margaret's going to want him back. Margaret. My fake wife. that you've sadly died.

Any more compliments? We never saw a body, did we? Because I just stopped the... Somebody I've dried up. Daddy, Daddy. They've dried up. Haley's so bitter that I'm getting compliments. 966, some compliments my way, thanks. Haley's brow.

The Z&P Podcast Network. But in the UK right now, at a beach in England, there is a clean-up operation underway because a container has come off a ship. Love when this happens. I know, same. It's like Christmas for the turtles.

You know, they get to go shop Like they're in the bloody Timo warehouse So this container has crashed On the rocks and has It must have spill, it must have come open Earlier because the beach At this English beach is covered in Uncooked French fries and onions

Whole onions Whole onions I love an onion Like look at the photos Oh wow Just raw potato chips As far as you can see Like instead of sand and rocks, it's like French fries and onions.

Could you give them rites and cook them still? You deep fry off the sand. Yeah, oh, nah, sand sticks to everything. Look at all the onions. It's nature's glitter. Yes, it is. So they've had to put out the call for volunteers to come down and help out because the beach is blanketed. With chips.

Thousands of bags of onions and chips. Do you know who I always thought I had this sorted? The chip side of it anyway. Local seagulls. Yeah, but they have. They like cooked. They don't do raw. Are they particularly fussy?

Yeah, they love chicken salt. They're all standing there with... Oh, that's a little coniferous. Pretending they've got one leg and they're an amputee and you feel sorry for them and then you realize they just pop a leg down and they're like... Oh God, how'd you lose your leg? You know? And they're like, wait, I've got two.

Too late. So, yeah, just insane. This is reminiscent of when the arena shipwrecked off the coast of Mount Monounouy and wheelbarrows were washing up. All kinds of stuff was... Yeah. If you find a wheelbarrow, please return the wheelbarrow. No, no, that's my wheelbarrow now, honey.

But aren't there like salvage rights? Like, don't you find something on the beach, you can have it? It's called Finders Keepers Loses Weepers. In the New Zealand Law Act. Law Act of 1992. Finders keepers losers weepers. Finders v keepers. Yeah.

And Finders 1. And Finders 1. Yeah, Finders Keepers versus New Zealand. And I'll tell you what those losers. they weepers. They're so weaped. Yeah. I've always wanted to find some, like, goal.

Like, my dad had a very nice watch, you know, and left it. And I'm always like, I wonder if someone's a rocking around being like, this is my wash. I found a watch on the beach. Yeah. Well, you see. People find diamond rings. The metal detectors. Yeah.

I want to get one of those. Always, you would. I'm still having fun with my magnet rake, by the way. Oh, how's that going? Great, but I haven't found any treasure. It's just screws and staples and screws and staples and staples. Yeah, yeah. Well, at least you haven't had a flat tire.

But I need to take it to the beach. I reckon. Yeah. Put these wheels on the beach. Well, this is a question we want to ask this morning. What have you found at the beach? Have you found something crazy? Did something wash up? Was there a message in a bottle?

Was it a... I remember those... Oh, you went on that hike, but on that hike, they were like dead dolphins. Oh. It was really sad. It was on the heafy track. Something like really specifically odd, you know,

that you're like, what the hell is that? Well, people do find legs. People do find, or like, you know, suitcases, full of cocaine. Oh yeah that happens. There was. Wasn't a couple of years ago? Because they had to abandon it, right? They drop them off ships

offshore with located beacons and then ships go out and grab them. Would you your cocaine be all soggy? I think they're glad wrap at hon. Right. Lots of glad rate. Which again, it's a step you don't want to miss. For a glad zips lie bag. I'll tell you what these drug cartels use so much

plastic. They're damaging. I am looking forward to the day they start using you know, paper. I'm not doing drugs until they sort out their environmental footprint, that's for sure. I'm taking a stance on that. Oh, 800 dials at Amazon number. Call us now. You can text through as well.

The one thing that paper straws are actually good for. What? Vaughn. We don't talk this morning about what you found washed up. I mean, we're in Ireland. We're surrounded by water. And we're skinny. We're so skinny.

Oh my God, we're so skinny. Yeah. Oh my God, Alti-Roa, skinny. We're such a skinny, Aka-Belago. Like, we flare out at some little bits, but like, not how much. No, I'm pretty skinny. Have you seen Australia?

I don't want to be rude, but wide. It's a fatty. It's a fatty. We're all coastal. Skinny. Skinny. Skinny. Some messages in of what people have found washed up.

We'll go for a call first, I reckon Tracy. Good morning. Good morning. Hi. What did you find washed up? I found my friend's sunglasses. Now that's an impossibility because we all know the sea takes and doth not give back sunglasses.

Did they lose them at sea or in the wave? No, I'm washed up on the beach. But where did they originally lose them? She was stand-up pedal-boarding, way out in the bay. Embarrassing. Oh, no, you're just jealous. How do people stand-up paddle-boarding? I'm not.

I mean, yeah, if I could do it, it would be amazing, but no. No. I think people get too bored. I think people don't admit it. It's boring. It's boring. You can't go fast. It's not surfing.

thing. And also I just feel like the orcas will get you. Get a motor on that time. The hawkers won't get you. So she was way out at sea, lost her glasses, she's like, well I'm never seeing those again, and then you found them washed up. Yep, yep. We'd been playing in the sand, and I went down to wash off, and lo and behold,

I turned around, there's these sunglasses sitting on the beach about 20 metres away. What are the chances? You just think that they're gone forever, right? Exactly. She'd ridden them off and wasn't getting them back. Were they tarnished at all? No, they were perfect. And when they're expensive ones?

Yeah, yeah. Or just some service and classics. I think, you know, about a hundred bucks or something. Oh, that's good. Yeah, no, that's amazing. Glad to have the back. Tracy, thank you. Some messages.

Creaky Galee and Louise is messaged in. Good morning, Luke. First correspondence for the year. Are we hitting her with a happy new year then? Because we have announced formally as a show that we're stopping that on Friday. So happy new year, cricket galilee and Louise. Found a great lump of Pornamu that had been a meadow on a stony old Timuru B. It was returned to Iwi after a short bout of admiration on the bookshelf.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Short admiration on the bookshelf. Wait, how long would that be worth, though? I don't know how much of a slab was it. If it used to be it, like if it sounds like it's not just a piece of Pornama, was it? It's been carved. It's got an archaeological value to it. Oh, right.

Okay, yeah. Get that thing on display. Out by Mutuh here, by Mototapu, one of those islands where you can literally walk halfway out to the boat. 15 years ago, I was walking slash swatuit. womaning out to the boat, I stood on a hand, a human hand. Shut up, piss off. No, you didn't. I've never forgot the feeling. I looked down. I saw the fingers. I saw the hand. No one's believed me, but I swear it happened.

But wait, you didn't get the hand? You're not touching the hand. I'm calling the coppers. Get some tongs. Oh my God. They're out. They're out. They're miles off shore. No, but you'd pick it up, wouldn't you? I wouldn't touch the hand. I'd stay there and be like, There's a hand. Police, police.

Not heavily populated though. You might be waiting for a long time. And then you'd try to go back find the hand. You'd never find it? Wait, so what happened? That's what happened to anything? That's just no one ever believed them. But they definitely still on a human hand.

Wait, so they never reported this? I don't know if they've reported it to police. 630. Did you report this to the police? I went as to ask, wild if you didn't report a hand in the water. Or do you just sort of keep that to yourself? Because, you know, I don't want to get involved into the origins of how this hand ended up in the water. Well, it sounds like a drug thing gone bad, doesn't it?

Yeah, totally. Yeah, it does. You'll give me the methamphetamine or I'll take your hand, you know. Chop off the hand. Yeah. My son found a medical bag washed up on the beach with syringes and needles little spoons. Oh, yuck. Oh, yuck.

That's not good, isn't I? Little spoons are good for, like, Pudd, though. Because then you eat it slower. You do, and you think you're having more? That's why I use a little spoon whenever I have put. Ramekin and a tiny spoon. I think this is a tiny sounding spoon. But wait, why do they need tiny spoons in?

In the medical bag, it sounds more like a drug bag. Medical bag's got... Yeah. Spitz around it. Surringes and needles. Feels like it might be drug related, isn't it? Unless it is someone that just wanted pudding and is maybe, I don't know, diabetic. Yeah, yeah.

And it's sugar-free pudding. And then syringing themselves with the pudding. You're on the beach and you find a completely unopened, fully sealed, unbedy steamed putty. You're taking that home and popping in the microwave for 30. Yeah, those things are real. Okay. You are on the beach and you find a completely sealed sourly...

Cheesecake. Is it in a plastic? Yes, it is. Would you take it home? 100% How warm is the ocean? I feel like you'd be... Getting in the freezer for now.

You can go home and put it in the freezer. It's going to get that ice crystallization on the beach. And one of those Teramisu ice cream logs washes up. A vina. A vina. A vera is a tinna. Are you taking that home?

Yeah, I'm taking that home. No, I think that's turned to slot. I think the waves may have been, you know, the classic venaeta. Yeah, yeah. They've gone flat. Disintegrated. I think it's impossible for those to mouth.

Sea temperature. I was about 10 years old and no police call was made because no one believed me. So this hand is just... Oh my God, that's insane. Are you sure? I really have a 10 year old's willing

to make a submission to the police to say I stood on a human hand I reckon they're not lying. But it could have been one of those, you know, those starfish that look all fingery. Could have been. Or a coral thing that looks all fingery.

Also, great story from 630, but also 630, reply back. If you found a fully unopened vioneta, would you eat at 630? Would you take home and put him in the freezer for a bit of need it. Or no one would believe you. And would you use the tiny...

And would you use the tiny spoons to make it feel like it's going to go stretch longer? Somebody said they saw an octopus on the beach and they were like, oh my God, that's so sad a dead octopus and they touched it, it wasn't dead, it wrapped around their arms. Yuck. That'll teach you. Someone said I found my Nana's engagement ring.

My granddad flicked off his towel and it went flying and all, you know, all hope was lost and I found it about five metres away, just stuck my hand in the sand and I pulled it out. That's lucky. Well, your chance to find a million dollars on the beach? Oh, ha, ha, ha. And maybe a hand.

There will be no hands, Haley. Or maybe a completely sealed Vianetta. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZDN's Fletchhorn and Haley. I sort of crashed the party. Well, you threw your toys because nobody wanted to hear your chicken story. All I said was Kamo Ranger's story. Yeah.

Yeah, which happened to be a story about. a truckload of dead chickens. Yeah. Well, no, I don't know they were dead when they left the truck, but they were dead all over the road. Somebody just messaged, and please tell Vaughan that my children when he told us a horrific story

about the mutilating live chickens on the highway. My children are up all night, screaming and crying and having nightmares. Well, that's just the circle of life, isn't it? Like, we said before, everyone, everything dies. Yeah, everything happens to everyone eventually. I don't think that's going to make a children feel any better. Yeah.

Well, probably be the best sign to talk about that, having kids. Yeah. There is a song, every chicken dies. Sometimes. Sometimes chickens are on the road. Every chicken that's ever, there's alive right now, hasn't been alive forever. Yeah, also kids, how do you think you get your nuggets? Yeah, dude.

Grow up. Dino nuggies aren't made of dinosaurs. They just shape like dinosaurs. No, they're not. Well, okay, well, so I had my auntie. She's been traveling around New Zealand, actually, I think for like three months or something like that. Like a long tour. She's doing an auntie road truck.

Yeah, with her husband, auntie and aunt uncle. Do they have one of those sort of, like, mini buses? No, they just hire a Ute. Aunties love or boomers love to sell up the house and downsize them buy a mini bus or a motor home, a canber van. No, they did a camper van. Boomer do, I'd love to do that. They did a hell of a lot of...

You are a boomer, I think. You are a boomer. They did a lot of staying with friends and family. Leaching, we call it, in the industry. Well, they were looking after a dog. They did a bit of house in there. looking after a dog, the dog died. While they were out looking after the dog?

What? Was this on the cards? Was it an accident? It was just like the dog just can't do it. I would always feel so bad if my cat died when someone was house sitting because they would feel so terrible. I know. You've done nothing wrong.

Yeah. So the dog like collapsed. I mean unless they stood on it in the middle of the night. Pop it in the freezer and we'll deal with that when we get home. Remember my friend that stood on a dog and it died? Like that's, but it was one of those stupid little dogs. One of those. Okay.

Anyway. So they're doing a thing. What was they saying? Hang on. They're doing a tour. They're doing a tour. They stayed at your place. They're staying at my place.

They're currently suffering from some kind of light migraine issue. It's sort of weird. Anyway, so the dog died is what I was talking about. So the house sitting where they were staying had to be cut short because the owners came back because their dog died. So they were a bit stranded. So they ended up, they were supposed to just stay at my house one night

and they ended up staying four nights. Oh, too long. It was all right. You know, I've got a small house now. And my mum and dad were there as well. well so there was like a few in the house and um that was fine like family forever and i've never had so much prayer in the house and i tell you it was lovely to cleanse cleanse the palate just getting some prayer in the house oh prayer there was prayer i thought yeah plenty of prayer in the house is she religious

yeah yeah it was nice get a prayer in the walls did she um did you start burning up when she started prayer i tell you from inside it was where my skin was like ah ha ha ha and i was like oh my god what's happening okay okay so there's two things that i did took umbrage with because I was sort of in and out a bit nice and busy and I came back and at one point I've got this new brazier I bought a brazier over the new year period

and I'll just put you know newspaper I actually choose to burn the NZ Herald after I've read it right yeah as my newspaper of choice as your fire setter of choice yeah yeah and wood and I came back and she was burning sort of rubbish and plastic in my brazier

like glossy cardboards the type that sort of wicks blue yeah yeah yeah yeah Classic boomer move that gave us the ozone hole in the first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was coming out of my backyard for a while. Okay. And then the second thing I caught just at the end was I'd had lots of guests over Christmas and New Year's,

lots of parties with New Year's and whatnot. So I had quite a lot of rubbish at the house, and I was trying to cycle through it and get it out through the bin system. But no, no, Auntie Law decided she was just going to dig holes around my property and bury my rubbish. What? I'm sorry, what? I come home. You don't live on a farm,

that's what farmers do. And it's not 1972. Yeah, for you listening, I live in just a normal cottage, like that's not a large property. I come home and my mum sort of... It's a septic tank there as well, like... She's out there, I see her rummaging through the garage.

I was like, okay. Then I see it coming out with a spade or a shovel or whatever, and I was like, I don't know what she's doing. And then I look out the window, and on the side of my driveway, where there's... I've got like eff all. garden too. There's like nothing there.

She's just digging holes and burying my rubbish. That's madness. But wait, what kind of rubbish? Like, general household rubbish. Right, so not like banana peels and you know, organics. It was like plastics. But even like, even don't bury rubbish

in my home. It was the most like, I was going to say a word, but you're not allowed to say it, but my mum described it in a way. Could put it, mute it. I thought that words coming back. Oh, okay. You know, you're not going to say that.

I'm not allowed to say that anymore. I'm not sure I heard many members of my family say that over summer. Yeah, well, my family's milding, we can't even say. Right, okay. Right, okay. Anyway, she just dug holes and buried this rubbish. And now, and I was so tired at the time, I was like, I just can't deal with this. Like, you don't just go to someone's house and start digging holes and filling it with rubbish.

And now, and so she's left. And now I'm like, what's happening with that rubbish? Wait, why did you stop her? I said that I was like, I don't really, want holes dug up in my house. What do you mean you said I don't, you say stop that? You're insane. I couldn't be bothered.

I couldn't be bothered with it. And now I'm like, do I dig this up? Or am I just letting it do its thing? You dig it up. It's on the side of my driveway, like next to my house. I'd pray it away. I'd use the power of prayer arising to get rid of the rubbish. So that's my only option is to pray this rubbish away.

The Fletchborn and Haley Big Pod. Two weeks in December. the one, the only, Sophie Ellis Bexter, arrives on New Zealand Shores. And right now, she's on Zoom. Hello. Hey, how you guys, Darren? You're right?

Oh, my God. I just love a British accent on the show. I do, I do. It doesn't mean you have to do one way. No, I know. I do a terrible thing, Sophie, when I just do an accent. And I'm doing a bad job of it. I'll stop.

We're good, thank you, is the answer to that question. You're very welcome to do a British accent. I don't mind. How are you, Sophie? I'm really good, actually. Yeah, really good. gearing up for another bit of touring, but it is what I love. So I'm very excited to be returning to New Zealand.

It's been a long time. Yeah. Was this just a plan to get away from English winter and come to summer? You know what? That is a very, very happy thing, isn't it? I mean, look, I feel a little bit smug. It's not too bad at the moment, but we had a little cold snap last week, and I was thinking, not long now.

Yeah, that's definitely a perpurt. So thank you very much. I hope we can turn it on. You've been before. What are your memories from New Zealand? Honestly, hand on heart, it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited in my whole life. And it made a really big impression on me. So much so that I think if you'd asked me at any point in the 20 years since I've been where I'd like to go, I would have said I want to return to New Zealand.

No, I absolutely loved it. I thought you were going to say hand on heart. I don't really remember it. 20 years a long time ago. Did you get any personal? time here or was it was it working? You know what? I'm quite good at that. It doesn't matter like any downtime I get I will go off and explore. I'm not one of those people who turns up somewhere and sits in their hotel room. I'm like drop your stuff and go. I love to walk around as much as possible.

Get a real sense of things, particularly when I'm doing a headline show because I think, you know, that time spent during the day wandering all around the city gives me like a bit of perspective. It gives me a bit of a flavor and it makes me feel happy. and a bit more grounded. And this is exciting because I'm bringing in my band. So, yeah, it's going to be good. You're playing in my home city. Well, the city I grew up nearest, Hamilton.

And it's got just the loveliest gardens. Oh, and you must go to the garden. The municipal gardens. You must go to the Hamilton Gardens. One of them's themed Egyptian. It's an Egyptian-themed garden, so funny. And it sounds cooler than what I'm selling it to you. And they have a giant wheelbarrow and you stand next to it and you look really small.

There's forced perspective. It's everything. It's not just plants. Love that. It's architecture as well. I love that. I love things that are bigger or smaller than you expect them to get from. Oh, you're going to love it.

What we need to do, however, is get her a free pass to get into the gardens. Oh, you'll suss it. If you're a local rate payer, it's free. But if you're tourists, they aren't charging now. But I'm pretty sure they can get that waived for international super-star. You know, I'll pay my ticket price. I'll pay my ticket price. I like, you know.

You don't have to. You're Sophia Lus Bexter. You can't ask. When she tours, she's like, she's doing the food banks. I'll pay my ticket price for the business. I also like to invest in local vintage shops. So if there's only vintage shops. Oh, Sophie, now you've got to come to me.

I'll tour you around all the op shops. So you're obviously a fan of New Zealand already. And you've just had our ex-Priam Minister, Jacinda Ardern, on your podcast, spinning plates. Were you a fan of hers already? Or you're like, you know, she'll do. Well, in my podcast, which I've been doing for six years, all my guests are working women who happen to be mothers. and I've been endlessly fascinated talking to a range of different women

from different walks of life about how they've navigated a career whilst also raising a family and to be honest, you can't get much more interesting than the youngest ever female world leader who happens to have their first baby while they're in term. I just couldn't wait to hear how that works,

what that felt like, all the range of emotions. So yeah, she's someone I'd wanted to speak to for a while. We love hearing about inspirational, women, but I'm just... It's something. I'm just clocked a cat. You're petting a cat. I don't want to interrupt a powerful, inspiring woman.

Oh my God. Is that a big cat? Are you... Or are you a tiny woman? He's actually a normal size, but he's made up for it with, like, loads of massive fluffy flowers. Oh, so cute. He's called Don Graper.

Did you watch Madman? Yes. He's giving big Don Draper energy. Can we just touch on the salt burner? I'm sure over the last couple of years you've been talked to about this a lot. But was it... How was that for you that this show came and said,

can we use the song? And, you know, you said yes, I'm sure you read the script and probably liked it. Were you anticipating what it was going to do for murder on the dance floor? No, and I honestly would recommend to anyone doing anything, like, especially if you're in, you know,

something creative. You've got to just be happy with the kernel of what it is. And then if anything happens as a result, you can enjoy that all the more because for me, I was already so flattered that Emerald Fennell wanted to put my song in such a pivotal moment in the film. And I also was really intrigued

because when I first said, yes, I didn't have any footage to look at. It was just a little synopsis. So I thought, oh, naked dancing, that sounds interesting, that sounds interesting. But no, I had absolutely no idea that it would do what it did. But how, it was just,

so much fun. It made the whole thing so much better because it was like it was like kind of like getting drunk on it. You know what I mean? I felt like I spent most that year feeling a little bit to tipsy. Yeah and now you'll be touring around right and looking out at people like me who was you know the perfect age

when the song came out 2001 2001 and then now there's going to be this whole new generation of people watching you who are much younger than me shall we say. That must be quite surreal. Well that's the glorious thing about music you know I mean, it's like, it's not meant to sit in Amber, in case in Amber.

It's a massive privilege if music can soundtrack different moments ongoing. And I think especially if you're working in, you know, pop music, dance music, it's a playful genre. It wants someone to interact with it. It wants dialogue and energy. So I've always loved singing all my songs. I'm so glad that I prioritised my own pleasure with this stuff because, you know, the idea of a song that I wasn't that into. I may imagine how that would be. But I really, I've always

had a good relationship with murder on the dance floor. So when it's taken me around for another twirl, we've had a great time together. And we continue to. Well, we can't wait to have a good time with you in a couple of weeks. Sophie, you are... Yeah, Hamilton on the third of fair BNZ theatre and crush it

James Hay Theatre on February. Sophie Alice Bexter, thank you so much. Thank you for me and my cat. Oh, he's so cute. The Fletch won in Haley, big pod. In the last year, Fletch, you were on a hot streak of double yokers in a box of 12 eggs. 10 eggs.

Was it a 10 egg box? That's a 10 egg box. Eight eggs were double yokers. Well, yeah, and I, because, you know, is it an urban? No, not an urban. It's an old wives tale. Yeah, that if you get a double yoker, it's good luck. Very good luck.

And as we talked about at the time, last year, Vaugh, not your year. Not my year. And so I thought, well, I'd bring in, and also really wasn't your year, Haley. Up and down. Ups and down. Downs. Ups and ups, ups. Ups.

Ups. Ups. But like, I know I wanted a good year, so we kind of decided, right, that if we crack double yokes, it was setting us up for the year that we all desire. And you've got a couple of double yokers. The only two eggs in the entire package that were single yorkers I broke. Somehow. And then I interrupted one of them, right, by being like, oh, let me have another go,

double yoker. And then I was like, okay, last one, another single yoker. Well, after that, I had a double yoker at home. But that doesn't count. It doesn't count. You could have doctored that. You could they come in Photoshop. The team at Better Eggs have sent us what I'm going to inscribe as an absolutely...

The eggs, it's a size 8 egg carton. That's exactly the same carton I had where everyone was a double yoker. It's a size eight and it doesn't shut. It's so bad. The eggs are massive. Do you know what they've done? They've gone through and found the most gigantic eggs. The hand-picked.

The cloaca. It makes my cloaca hurt. Yeah. You know what I'm. There are some chickens out there with some stretch cloaccas. These eggs would be like size nine, right? Also, I noticed... Well, yeah, it's eight in the box.

I noticed overseas they do like medium X-L and... Oh, do they? Small. Why do we do numbers? I don't know. Is it a different thing here? Yeah, I don't know. Well, they said we've been following you run a bad luck.

Figured it was time to do something about it. we sent you a little box of better egg double yokers to help bring better for 2026. How can't they guarantee it? While we can't see what's inside, we wish we had that super but we've done our best to get as many in here as possible. These are the biggest eggs. They're just big eggs.

I've ever seen in my life. If this was a Chinese takeaway, they'd charge you the $2 extra because you can't shut your polis-old. Yeah, they would. They would. Oh, that one's done. No, don't do that.

Don't do it. We don't want to break them. No, eggs very strong from top to bottom. Are they? So I decide not top to bottom. I could stand on that and it wouldn't break. No, you couldn't. Test it.

Don't. No, you're just going to break. You're going to break all of them. Fourne, you're just going to break 10 eggs. No, no, no, no. Okay, all my weights on it. One, two, three, four, five. What the hell?

They're all smashed. No, they're not. What the hell? Have you ever seen the strength of an egg top to bottom? No. It's like one of the most fragile foods we have. No, we don't. Hailey, you do it.

You do it. No, you don't want to do that. If this collapse is under my weight. I do it. I proved it. I proved it. I proved it. I proved it.

You just stood on an entire box of eggs. Yeah, on the top. Put your shoe on. It's going to be evenly distributed. No, because I wear myself its shoes off, obviously. No, I know that. You want the even distribution of weight over the 10 eggs. Like, put your weight on the ears.

Ease into it. And then come down. It's not my light. Just, okay, hang on. Like that? Yeah. And I'm just stepping up. I'm on at 3, 2, 1, let's go.

Okay, hang on. Oh my God, what? Did you not know this about eggs? Not a single break! Wow! They've got to be hit from the side. God, I was really hoping that we'd have a great video if you'd broken those eggs.

That's a big eggs. And then we would have had... Oh, Sam Pick! That's a big egg. All the eggs are intact. Isn't that insane? I didn't even know you could do that. Oh, yeah, strong.

That's one. Well, this needs to be the moment of redemption for your warning, that because you were the only one who got the bad luck. You've got a crack an egg if it's double yoker, it's good luck. If it's a single yoker after all this. You know what, though, it's rigged because look at those eggs. There's like two or three yolks in each of those. Look how fat that one is.

It's like giving the special kid like, you know, two minutes head start. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or when you play a kid at a game and you're like, oh no, you beat me again. It's playing, you know, baseball, but you give him a tea. Oh, yeah. What is that called T-ball? That was a fun one. Yeah.

And you like that, didn't you? Because you hit the ball more. Oh, yeah, I like that one. Yeah. And you ran up the other end rather than around the basis. But most of the time he just hit the rubber tube. Yeah, the inflation. From the cow shed.

Pick one that you're drawn to this. This one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So for good luck in 2026, Will Vaughn finally have a double yoker.

Yep. It's a double yoker. Yeah, but I knew that would have him. I knew that. It's a lame. Lame. egg. Let's get an egg.

The highlight of yours was showing that you can stand on a box of eggs and they won't break. Yeah, that was amazing. That wasn't lame. That was cool. That was science. By the way, it's still school holidays. I don't want to hear from any parents being like,

my children heard this and they went home and they stood on a tray of eggs and you owe me $30 for all these eggs. That was, we've tested it. Yeah, that was science. Also, we do need to wish an apology to a child, don't we? Yes, we do. Sorry, we should rectify that now before we forget. I'm constantly apologising to children.

I can't stand it. We were talking about the chicken massacre again on the show, just before. Yeah, this was what you witnessed by the chymies. Yes, yes. And they were upset. And I said that where do you think your dino chicken nuggets come from? They're shaped like dinosaurs, but they're made of chickens.

And an eight-year-old has called me out and said, technically, chickens are dinosaurs. So technically, the dino nuggets are made of dinosaurs. And I appreciate that knowledge. Yeah, no, I do as well. Yeah, we do apologize. And eight-year-old sort of like, you know, ability to recognize the theory of evolution. So I'll apologize that eight-year-old

and that eight-year-old only. No other eight-year-olds are getting any in that coming today. The ZDM Podcast Network. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, uh, do-d-d-d-d-dud-to-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-to-d-dud-dud-da-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud-dud.

Um, today's fact of the day. It's tongue weak here, of the day. Learning about the tongue. Yeah. Yesterday we talked about a long tongue in the animal kingdom.

The giraffe tongue. Today we're talking about a tongue that is short, rigid and covered in backward spikes and doesn't move. It's the penguin's tongue. Doesn't move. It doesn't come,

they can't go, they'd suck in a poo-cunner. They'd have to just do the mouth. They'd do the eyes. And the eyes. And they'd open the mouth. Penguin Pookana. And it would scare people

because of the sharp, spiky, backwards tongue. Yeah, right. Why is it so tight? Is it going to tie it tight string? It's got a tongue tied. It got a tongue tied when it was a kid and it didn't get them laser cup. Can't speak very well.

Okay. It's to stop the slippery prey they have getting out of their mouth. So they hunt fast, oily fish and squid in cold water. Kind of like a gaff. Correct. So once it goes in, it goes on, it can't come back out. It's barbed. It's barbed.

Yeah, right. Backward facing spike so it holds on to it. And it needs to be huff. hard so that it can just shut its mouth and it holds onto the prey. So you can have smooth, wriggly, oily, flexible. And so it just grips it on and they can't get back out. Is there a picture of one? Just we'll have a little look here.

It's gross. I will warn you if you're going to Google Penguin Tong today. It's a little bit yuck. It's very orange. Very orange. They don't have very many taste buds. Oh, yeah. The penguin tongue.

Yeah, but they don't need. No, they're eating an oily fish. They never, they never. So short. tasting lollies, are they? Yeah, but have they ever experienced a beautiful spoon of tiramisu? No. Yeah, or a, you know, a vioneta log.

A vionnetta. You think of the penguin, if a penguin came across a fully filled, sealed vionetta on the beach. In Antarctica, so, you know, melts not a problem. Yeah, no. Do they have any idea what to do with it? Was there once a ship carrying vioneta logs? It just... Ship came into the harbour carrying a...

Different types of dessert. A deli... Different types of desserts, go. Suvato. Um, um, a cheesecake. Hokey-pokey. Oh, we don't do alphabetical. No, we don't do alphabetical.

No, we don't do, we don't do alphabets. Yeah, you do alphabet. Not always. What was that, like, 90s thing? Barvira, Barvarian, cheescaque. Yeah, yeah. Cheesecake. You can't go cheesecake.

She just went cheesecake. No, but a different kind of cheesecake. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. I want to go, chum, shoot. You could go. Go, D.

D. Dough bowls. Dough Bulluts. Donuts. Donuts. You know, those little ones, you know, you know, it. Yeah, egg-based Pavlova.

No, no, no, no. You can't do it. No, you're drinking your carrie juice. Terrible. Drink your carrot juice. It's a drinking game. I'm drinking water flitches having a coffee and you're doing carrot juice.

It doesn't have to be alcohol guys. We have fun without booze, all right? Yeah. Who's ready for prayer? So it's a one-way, the mouth is a one-way system. Okay, great. So the roof of the mouth, the cheeks and the throat

are also lined with backward-facing spines. don't put anything in there that you want to get back out of you. There is. There is. We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. Don't do it. We're not going to do it at all.

Grow up. So why do they have it? Well, they don't have like paws. They don't have hands that they can grove their prey with. So once it's in the mouth, they've got to be able to stay there. Kind of like a on a fish. Chewing, because they don't chew. They just kind of like get in their mouth.

Get it down the hatch. Because chewing wastes time and energy. And they're obviously living in a fairly cold environment. don't want to. Well, they just sit there the rest of the time, right? Weathering the storm. Yeah, huddling up. Living in a miserable place. That sounds miserable. Constantly talking about, like, moving somewhere warmer. The joy of a vignetta. They'll never experience it.

No, a vioneta log. Yeah. I feel real sorry for them. Now, you put it like that. It's a shit life. They're living in a freezer, but they never get to eat ice cream. When I'm going around my day today, and if anything bad happen, I've got a migraine at the moment, I'm just going to remember, I'm not a penguin. At least I'm not a penguin.

And you're an adult. You could just buy a vionator and eat the whole thing if you wanted. Fresh, not even found on the beach. Streets make the vionetta. Yeah. Do they still make it? Yeah, no, they do. I'm just looking now.

It's at Woolworths. Is it? What is a log of vionette? I'm just looking. Just looking what a log vionette cost. Because we were always sold that it was a very posh treat. You're not everybody's fortunate enough to find one washed up on a beach. $9.40 currently.

Far out. Yeah, I know. What is this? Paris? Go without one drink at a bar and you can have a vioneta though. Let's put that into perspective. Made in Portugal. Made in Portugal.

So they do come on a ship from Portugal. I'm telling you. There is a high chance that someone at some stage is trying to fully washed up sealed vioneta and had to make the world's hardest situation of, am I going to eat this? Am I going to eat it? So today's fact of the day is the penguin tongue is a short rigid tongue covered in backward spikes.

It's a one-way conveyor-out system for fish from the ocean. to the Tom Tom. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's FlashForn and Haley. So Brooklyn Beckham came out yesterday with a huge Instagram post. It's worth a read if you're into that kind of drama.

Oh, it's wild. I know, basically saying, like, I'm not going to reconcile with my family. They hate my wife and they've been controlling and manipulative and everything's for the brand and it's all fake and BS, basically. I found it weird that he did get a bit of pushback and there was a bit of hate towards him, like basically because he's never worked a day in his life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything handed to him. Yeah, be a bit grateful, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

And then just now, like, so far, nothing officials come from the Beckham's about it. Everyone's like, David Beckham speaks out, but no, he was already doing an interview about the risks of children online. Right. And he was like, you know, I've tried to teach my children that we can make mistakes and stuff. And people like, he's spoken up, but he hasn't. No official, like, we're sad that this has happened. I've been against children being online for my entire life. You know, when I was a child and I was walking along a footpath, I'd say, stand on a line, break my mother's spine.

Yeah. Stand on a crack. Yeah. Break my mother's back. Sorry, that happened. That's real. They were so lame. I was trying to think of a way to work in power lines

and I was going to say, how do the little buggers get up there? Yeah. That's really sorry about that. The standard of the show is usually higher and I'm just up. Especially at 845. Yeah. Well, no.

We're well, no. We're going to just do what we can. I think you can do better this year, Vaughn. Sometimes I reckon it's like, have the thought by all me. Yeah, I just don't say that out. I was happy with the Russia joke the other day. Yeah. I feel like that joke was someone's Russia joke.

It wasn't. It wasn't. your joke. It wasn't, no. God. Well, now I've just loved my five. It was a peak behind the curtain though of a celebrity family. And a family that's just been surrounded by like gossip, like, oh they're fighting, they're feuding and everyone's like, no, they're not. I was like, no, they're not.

And now I'm like, oh my God, he hates them. But it's kind of nice to see because it just shows that even rich and famous celebrity families aren't perfect. They got beef. Yeah. I reckon this is a good time to open up the phone lines and the text machine to our listeners. Fresh on the back of Christmas in particular.

You know, we've got a lot of family and friends staying, what's the family beef going on with you? Like, is there a reason that someone's not talking to the family? Or you're not talking to a family member? What's the beef? Maybe it's historical? Maybe it's a fresh wound straight from bloody December 25th. I love this. I love this. I love here of a freshie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love a freshie. Just let it out, have a little vent. You can keep it anonymous as well if you want if it's big

drama. Well, yeah, like big juicy family. Gosh, like someone in the family sleeping with someone. Someone's over because they slept with them and actually my cousin's my sister but we don't talk about that. Or maybe your auntie buried your rubbish in your driveway. But yeah, maybe you are like Brooklyn Beckham. You're not talking to your family. You've emancipated yourself, you know, basically.

From whatever reason. Or you're not talking to someone for something they did. Oh, 800,000 emits the number. Give us a call. Text through 9-696. You can just text in and be anonymous. What's the family beef? Famous family beef happening right now with the Beckham family.

The Beckham's, yeah. No word actually from mum and dad. Dad Beckham. But I believe we'll be waiting for a statement today. But we want to know your family beef. They're surely mortified, right? Like, this is pretty like behind the curtain. Especially after the doco and all that when they're like, well, lovely life, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not good. We had a Christmas from hell in 2020. My brothers haven't spoken to each other since. I'm in Switzerland. I'm Switzerland in the situation. Oh, okay. I need a little.

Christmas from hell. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous. What's the family beef? Okay, so my step sister does not see her mum anymore because she cheated on her husband with her husband's son and then the husband, who is my stepson's dad, died. And just to clarify, though, the husband's son is not the ex-wife biological son.

No, yep. It's still a tree. I'm going to need a family tree. Oh, the documentary. I've seen the 20-minute documentary. a year. Dad's away. This is wild.

And then, so dad dies. Yeah. And then the, oh my God. Okay. Wait, did dad know about it? Yeah. Yeah. It was nasty.

Yeah. Nasty. This is insane. Do they stay together, the stepmom and the stepson or? For a little bit, yeah. Really? Yeah. Christmas, man.

That's weird. Yeah. That's too much. So the age difference are we talking. It's not an age difference. Are we talking? It's not an age difference. Are you talking?

20 years. Oh. Wow, that's insane. Well, no wonder there's family beef. That's crazy. Wow. Are there any moving kind of updates, or is it just like they'll never speak again? Well, yeah, because he's dead, so yeah.

That helps. Yeah, I guess, Haley, unless you get Calvin Crookshank or whatever his name is. We can organize it. To speak to the dead dad, just kind of apologize and mend a bridge here. Fuck. Dad might not want to from the dead. That's good beef. That's insane.

It's your step sister that's not talking to her mum anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so. I know, we're going to need a diagram. It's very hard to... But the guy that died wasn't your dad. No.

But your dad has married the woman that slept with her stepson. My dad is not in this story. That was my stepdad who was now dead. It was your stepdad. Can you just draw us a tree on us? Yeah, we're going to need a... Draw a diagram. that we can put with that story.

Anonymous, thank you for sharing. What a juicy story. Very Targaryen, wasn't it? Jessica, it was very Game of Thrones. Jessica, what's the family beef at the moment? So this is an ongoing one. My sister, so I'm 36, she's 40. I remember when I was about four saying to my grandma,

why does my sister hate me so much? She's hated me my entire life. And about a year ago, she was doing a very, very public dancing performance. and I got drunk and told everyone, including her friends and work colleagues, what a narcissist she was. And I gave very explicit examples,

which I did actually feel okay about. But, yeah, we're done. What is it public? What is a very public dance? Oh, um... Can't say. I would give it away. I can't say, but there was about 20, 30,000 people there.

And all I want that? Was it one of those river dance, Lord of the Dance, you know, at Spark Arena. And they're like, do-bidi-dib-do. All that's a halftime show. Oh, yeah, could be that. Yeah, could a bang, yeah. And she's quite well known.

Oh, that. Oh, okay. We do, wait there because we want to know, but we can't share all the details. Yeah, yeah, stay-line. Okay, wow. Okay, we'll keep your texts coming in. 9-6-96-0-800 dials at M. Share with us your family beef.

Fried, minced, or in steak form. The family beef, because the becums are everywhere at the Yeah. With their beef. Somebody said, man, my family beefs a little sausage compared to some

of these T-bone steaks. Yeah, I know. Isn't it? Man, we're hearing the stories this morning. Ongoing for years now but one of my siblings embezzled thousands of dollars

from my parents and skipped the country. Safe to say they don't speak to any of us anymore. What? I have a very narcissistic mother. It was her birthday and I was working but she needed me to help her decorate the house. She had a full-on meltdown. It's because I said I had to work.

Swore, she will never talk to me again. That was February last year. So that means her birthday. that's coming up, but still not talking to me. That's so immature and wild, isn't it? For a mum to do. Life's really short. Yeah. Family member passed away. Their partner

refused to give the money that they'd set aside to their children and instead kept it for themselves. Oh my God. See you in court. See you in court. Yes, the encorpiarch. It was in a joint account, so technically the money was joint property. The partner ended up needing money, needing money, but couldn't access any loans due to the property ownership

structure. And it's now about a quarter of a million in debt to various family members and struggling. hard. Good, ha ha, good job, they say. Give me my money. My family beef is my brother married an absolute bitch. He hasn't spoken to us for 15 years. I hate when that happens. When your brother marries a bitch?

Or just someone you know marries a bitch and you're just like, oh. Also, on the other side of the family, or a bastard. Yeah. Me and my sister-in-law had a fallout 18 years ago. They ended up moving to Perth and haven't spoken to them since. Hubby has tried messaging his brother, but the wife won't let him reply. Why?

A wife won't let him reply. That's, yeah. I haven't spoken to my family in five years after they dropped me because we wouldn't go on a holiday with them. Since then, they have tried to reach out to my baby mum to get access to their grandchildren, but no. Okay, like life's too short to have these little, like some of these are a bit little, aren't they? Little grudges and little arguments. Yeah.

I'm just reading there's some whoppers. Yeah, ones that won't do. My sperm donor? We were doing that one? Mine and my sister's husbands had a massive falling out over a hunting block. That's a block of land

you do your hunting on? Yeah, but I don't want you hunting on my land because you'll kill my pigs. Yeah. But please, there's pigs enough for everybody. No, there's my pigs. No, they're mine.

Can I have the tar? No. Can I have the deer? They're mine. Can I have the deer? No. All my hoo-hoo grubs. Yeah, I know.

You heard me. But I love hoo-hoo grabs. You can't haught the hoo-hoos. All my Vioneta logs. Oh! Come on now. I know you were growing a Vianetta forest before I became part of the family. I know.

I know. My Vianna forest is struggling. I'm using the wrong fertilizer. You're not ordering enough. I'm not ordering it enough. You need to convert it back to dry sock. Vioneta logs. Give me a clipping.

The carbon credits are no good on Venae Forest either. A clipping of Vioneta log. Yeah. And then use Chachia but you need to find out how to get it to sprout and then you're on your way. Imagine if you could grow your own viontologs. Yum. From your own viagin.

You just have one spoon from your bonnet log. from your bowl and you propagate it. Like a starter. What was that? Cabocha thing. A scobie. A little scobie starter. A vinaed a scobie. Yeah, lovely. Yum every day. You'd have to have it in a square container. God, I love the messages coming on.

I avoid my dad's booze hag sister like the plague. Wow. Boozag. I often used to tell me that I would have been better off going to live with her after my mum died when I was 11. I think I've turned out been a living with my dad. She's into husband number three. So. Yeah. My sister's slept with my boy.

friend at a party I threw. Everyone at the party was watching them in my bedroom. Don't do that. Wild. Just don't do that. My five-year-old didn't put the lid back on the cat food container and I picked it out without realizing and dropped two cages of catpiscuits. That's beef for life. Currently not talking to them. That's beef for life. That's on the tamer end, isn't it?

It's actually on you because you picked something up by the lid. Yeah. And that's a no-no in every walk of life. I should have known better. Never picked something up by the lid, you silly, silly goose. My mother-in-law snaked $500,000 from me. and still moans to the family wanting us all to be back together and happy again like it's my fault. Also complains that she's poor, but she bought a new house and installed...

Herringbone flooring. Oh, lovely. Oh, that's the triangle. That's lovely. That's lovely. That would actually look really nice than your apartment feature. The hearing bone. The heroin floor.

A lot of prep. A lot of floor prep. You'll pay you for the time for the layout. You will. A lot of floor prep. That's all I got, baby. Play ZN's Fletchhorn and Haley Fletchhorn and Haley's trial run

Trial Run all this week We're trailing some new segments on the show today A segment that we're calling The Convinces That's right If you've got an issue or a conundrum And you need help convincing someone of something Call the Convinces And we'll have a go at it

Not convinced about Do we have an intro? I don't know No we don't make intros until they pass the test Okay, right, because we don't like work for ourselves. No, well, why would you put extra work into making an intro if this is the only time we do it? All right, songs about convincing someone.

Don't stop believing. I mean, you're trying to get into. Don't stop believing. No, that's not. I've got an instrumental of one of those up. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I will be going to YouTube to get that and again.

Thank you to the Christians and family who have invited me part of their YouTube family plan, saving me $25 a month. Is this a credit we're doing every day? Yep, every time we use it, baby. Okay, right. Three Little Birds by Bob Marley. A simple calming message not to worry,

but it's not about convincing people not to worry. No. convincing people to do something. I think it's kind of works. I don't know if it works. I don't know if it works. I don't know if it works. Well, Caroline joins us.

Good morning, Caroline. Good morning. Oh, we could play Caroline. Caroline. Oh, you were an outcast. I went outcast. I went outcast. Yeah.

No, no, outcast. Put on outcast, Caroline. Okay. Find that. Caroline. Please Caroline's better. Is it? It's actually not your choice.

What is she? Sorry, Caroline. Sorry, Caroline. You're a guest on the radio show. She's our customer and customers in the best. I mean, you don't just come into someone's house and demand the music. And start painting, you know, yeah, exactly, doing things. Caroline, what do you need help convincing somebody to do?

I need help convincing my partner to get a cat. Oh, mate. Yesterday I said to my cat that, yeah, you were, the greatest joy of my life. You chose this one. We asked for outcast. Caroline won't sweat Caroline. And this is not,

is it Fletch, Forne-Haley and Caroline, no. For now it is. And Fletch and Hatt, fine. She's a guest and you'd be respectful to our guests. Okay, so, well, you've floated this idea before, but the boyfriend is like no cat. Yeah, he's happy with a dog,

but I'm all a cat person. Okay, ask some questions. You guys cohabitate full-time? You live together? Yes, we do. Okay. Have you got flatmates, or is it just? the two of you?

We just live with his brother. Okay. Do you reckon you guys will be together for a while? Oh, yeah, yeah. Now, do you have a lot of weekends away? No, not really. The dog's harder to do the weekends away with that, so that's taking care of. Is he allergic?

Are you at home a lot or are you both away at work a lot, the brother's away as well? The brother works at home full time. So there's going to be always someone there. Does he want to look after a dog all day, though? I don't know. No, she wants a cat. I know. I want a cat, man.

Yeah, she wants a cat. I think you're around enough to have a cat. I think so. It's a work. Did you grow up with cats? I did. So you know the joy they bring. Yeah, exactly.

Is your boyfriend one of those? I'm allergic to cats. No, no. He just thinks they're evil. So you want our... That's all cat pendant, really. There are evil cats. But that's like there's humans, you know.

There's evil humans. Yeah, there aren't. That's true. Well, why doesn't he just say yes? Doesn't he want to make you have? happy, Caroline? He obviously doesn't. He obviously doesn't want to make me happy. So Caroline, you're saying to ask, what I'm hearing is you get a cat or you're going to dump this guy. Oh, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. That's what I was picking up.

Wow, the ultimate ultimatum. Yeah, do you have your mindset on a kind of cat? Like a ginger one, a black one, a tabby? Yeah, I'll even go to the SPCA, you know, whatever picks us, you know? Yeah, that's what we all did. Rescue a cute one, though. Yeah, I rescued a cute, eh? We're not really to rescue the young. The ironic thing is he sends me lots of cat videos. So he's taunting her. He's not want to make him. Does he not want to create his own cat videos?

I know. Okay, well, okay, next on the show, Caroline, we're going to pop you on hold and we're going to come back, and this is where the convinces really comes in because we're going to convince your boyfriend Patrick to get a cat. Or you're going to dump his ass. Right? See, that's good in a negotiation, a bit of leverage, dear.

It's a bit of leverage, dear. My stakes. Well, Charlie new segments all this week. Today, the new segment, The Convinces. Yeah. If you need help convincing someone of something, you call the Convincers. And we just heard from Caroline who really wants to get a cat, but the boyfriend is like, no. No.

Don't not. And that boyfriend joins us now. Let's see if he sounds anything like his voice has been betrayed by at least two different members of the show. Hi, Patrick. Morning. Oh, uh-oh. Hello. I'm on Patrick's side now.

That's a deep voice. That's a rumbler. Patrick, what's the issue, dude? Why don't you want a cat? Did Caroline mention I got scratched by a cat when I was younger? Oh, she did. Wait, let's use GPT for some trauma here. How to get over a cat scratching trauma?

How did it? How bad was it? Have you been left disfigured and mauled? Yeah, pretty much. Wow, what part of the body was the cat, did the cat scratch? My legs and part of my arm. Wow. A furious federal

felon. Yeah, right. How long have you been with Caroline for, Patrick? It'll be five years this year. Yeah. Wow. It's time at that point where you just sort of do what she wants.

And that's getting into the territory if you get a pet together, you know? Like, is there some bargaining we could do Patrick? Like Caroline gets her cat. Patrick gets his... Yeah, is there something you want, Patrick? Well, I offered we could get a puppy instead.

There's so much work. Just have a kit. You know what I mean? Like, there's so much work. dogs. But would you get a cat at the same time as a puppy? I mean, that could be a compromise, but I'm still not convinced. There we go.

We've got him. It could be best friends. It is cute when a cat and a dog are besties. What kind of dog is your existing dog? Oh, we don't have an existing dog. Why do you keep thinking they've got a dog? Why do you keep thinking they've got a dog? They don't have a dog. They've got nothing. Listen. I thought they had a dog.

They had nothing. Listen. Caroline said she had a dog. You've imagined a dog. I imagined a dog. I imagined a dog. I fully invented a dog. Caroline wants a cat. Not a dog. God, they don't have a dog. Is there anything else you want, Patrick?

I don't know. She's open to a cat. She did say to a dog. She did say we could get a dog with a dog. Well, maybe we should just try to convince her to get a dog. Are we switching? We are the convinces. As long as we can.

We're not necessarily convincing someone. Let's see Caroline's easier. Well, let me just, I can conference both of them together. Caroline joins us now with Patrick. Caroline, would you be open to just getting a dog? I don't know. I don't know. I think that's so easy.

They look after themselves. That's so easy. I've never seen my cat shit. Patrick, do you know you're going to have to... Never. He's done it himself his whole life. He's a clever boy. Whereas Patrick, are you ready for the amount of dog poops

you have to pick up? Like you're their slave? Yeah, I like that with that. You're okay with that? Patrick, that must have been really scary at that age to be scratched by a cat. He's on chat GPT therapy. It makes sense.

It makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense your body. It makes sense your body still remembers that. Is chat cheptic giving you any tips on how to get over the trauma? Look at calm cat photos and videos. Be in the same room as a very calm cat. Sit near a cat that is asleep or distracted and have brief controlled contact.

What if I invited you, Patrick, and you Caroline over to my house to spend some time with my cat? And then Patrick, you'd be able to see the joy that it would bring into your life. You're trying to have a three-way with Caroline Patrick? Yes. It feels like all you're trying to do is invite them over some sort of sexual escalate. Why are getting in the way? It's 20-20.

Come on, bars. Hang out with the cat. She just wants to sex up everybody. You hang out the cat and we'll see. I don't think we're convincing anyone of anything. Apart from having a three-way. To go down and have a threesome with Ailey. Also, her cat's lame.

It runs away when people come over to the house. It's scared of born and no one else. Yeah. What about a flip a coin? situation. Heads it's a dog, tells it's a cat. That's a wild thing to do. This is a lifelong commitment by the way. Yeah, it is. You shouldn't rush into pets. No.

I think just get both. Could we agree just get one cat, one dog? And then everyone's happy? No, this is, that's a big step. Yeah. No. Why don't we have a kid? Let's have children. Oh, no. We have children.

We've already taken care of that thing, very much. Oh, yeah, right. I'm taking care of that. Okay, oh, I've got a new one. Oh, what? Guinea pig. No. Dumpet. Easy, breezy. Not much cheap.

If they die, you just rotate and get a new one. Okay. Fish and guinea pig. I think the convinces has been a great success. I don't think this has been a success at all. Good luck with your guinea pig. Do you too feel like we've convinced you more to get a cat a dog or to sleep with Haley? The latter probably.

Oh, the ladder. It's crazy because Patrick said neither at the same time. Well, it's not a threason anymore It's just you and Carolyn The ZM Podcast Network Play ZM's FlashFawn and Haley Love the website, is it Christmas? I always forget to go on Christmas

But every other day it tells you, no It's not Christmas. Why do you love this website But you forget it's Christmas? I know I forget on Christmas Because it's so obviously it is Christmas. Is it Christmas today? No!

No, it's not Christmas today. So it's good to know. It's good to know It's not Christmas today. there's a Chinese app called Are You Dead? Is it by the people that do, is it Christmas? No, it's not. No. But it's the same sort of thing.

So the question that you could quite easily answer. So once a day you'll get a notification saying, are you dead? And you tap the button to say, I'm alive. And it sends to a trusted person to say, don't worry about sending a, Hey, how are you just checking in text to... God, that's grim.

But do you know what? This is actually like one of the biggest apps in China right now. I went viral. It's not like a joke either. So China, and I mean a lot of Asian countries had multi-generational households. You had the grandparents, you had the parents, you had the kids, and the grandparents

look after the kids or the adults worked. And then when they became the grandparents, they stayed at home. You know, that's how it worked. But now there's over 100 million single-person homes. It's like apartments and high-rise towers and people who move away from where they're from to work in the city and they can't afford a big place,

so they just get a single. So over 100 million people are living by themselves in China. Right. And so then there is a need to check in because if they're working and going home and sleep in, no one's doing the regular check-in. So if I was worried about Haley, I would just send a message on this app,

are you dead? And she would reply, no. I'm alive. Just not talking to you. But wouldn't you just send a message saying, hey, how are you? You don't send anything. The app says it's time for your daily check-in. And you go, I'm alive and it sends a to your trusted person who also has the app. Right.

And they might have you as the same trusted person, so without having to... Yeah. I think I'm rest assured enough that I have enough impact on people's lives that I wouldn't sit dead for long. No. I reckon two days max. You'd be dead. Max.

I think one day, if it was during the week. If it's a weekday, that morning. Ring, ring, ring, ring, where are you? We have had to do one welfare check on you, haven't we? Yeah, yeah, one welfare check. Yeah, that was fine. This is like the biggest downloaded app in China at the moment. Like, it's insane.

Temporarily, it got temporarily removed from the app store because they were worried about privacy and data security concerns like women would be logging on and saying, I live alone. And if the data got breached, some creep would just have a list of all these women who live alone. And be like, where? Also, wild that it was called,

Are You Dead? Because, you know, obviously that's dark. Dark, that's out. In Chinese traditional culture, it's a little bit of a taboo subject. Death. Yeah. So they're renaming the app

and they're going to get it back on there and it's going to have additional things like loneliness, mental well-being facilities as well. To help out a little bit more. But are you dead? Quick check in. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm alive. Play Z-Ns, Fletchhorn and Haley. My grandmother was a well-known snora. She would rattle the streets of Darkerville. I once had a flat, mate, where you could hear him down the hallway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like so loud.

Yeah. Rumble, rumble, rumble. And then my mother, she's sort of developed into a bit of a snora. and I always have pride Not that I don't judge anyone But I've always been very proud of the fact that I don't snore I don't think I'll snore I don't think I'm on my back

And it's a low pillow Yeah Apparently I'll have a bit of a bit of a Get a tight throats But I've been trying stomach sleeping lately How do you do it? I love it so much I'm side or stomach

What do you do? I love side I'm side No you do that You have a low pillow It's got to be a low pillow Yeah it's a low pillow I double pillow

You're too much. And you're on your stomach. I double pillow. I stomach or side, but I'm trying not to sigh because I'm getting the creaky chest. The breasts. Oh, is that what happens? Two women.

On the side and they squeeze together all night. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to get a back sleep on. You'll get that fixed in Turkey. Yeah, I don't know how much they can pull that tight on the sternum. But the back sleep, um, yeah, they might need to reform the whole Ottoman Empire to, you know, take that on.

Yeah. But the backsleep would lead to far more snoring. Yeah, but even on my side, I have officially become quite a snoring. On your side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh dear. Told to me not only by my parents who, like yesterday, for example, we were sitting on the couch and we were just talking and I felt the pull of a sleep take me.

And they couldn't hear their movie. They'd turn it up. I was roaring. How does this just happen? It's just happened in my age, but also a lover informed me. Is this lover going to be a repeat? Repeat visitor or? Probably not. Well, not anymore. Because when he left and he gave me a kiss on the forehead and said,

get a sleep apnea machine, hon. Oh my God, you get a seat pat. Yeah, yeah. He was like, well, I won't judge you. Get a little seapap around your mouth. Far out. I mean, you don't want to be told that. That's brutal. That's brutal. Yeah, I know. Not like, hey, great night, sexy stuff. Just get a sleep. Wrap a sleep apnea around you, hon. You need it.

Oh, another one in the bag. And it's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell you, You don't sound sincere there, but I'm just reading what's written here. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.