ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - July 21st 2025

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

Dua Lipa's bf might be James Bond Women's Gym Banning under 25s SLP - Do you like when a place has wifi? Hayley's read good travel hack Top 6 pieces of parenting advice from Pete Davidson Searches for Cheating are up Hayley's getting forgetful How much hens do's are costing When you get locked in? Fletch made Hayley cry Espresso lemonades Fact of the Day When were you caught online stalking?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is the Fleshborne and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animate's Making Happy Happen for Pets. Thank you, Suzie. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fleshborne and Hayley. We're back. And some would argue better than ever. Back, baby. Browner than ever. Browner than ever. You are very brown. I am. than ever. Back baby. Browner than ever. Browner than ever. You are very brown. I am.

Kilda. Kilda. I did. I did get a bit brown. Some of it... It'll fade quickly. I think. I did have to put some bronze drops in my foundation this morning

because I put on foundation and I was like, that doesn't match anymore. Oh, wow. Because I didn't wear makeup the whole time I was away. I was a natural beauty. Tell you what, Europe just ignored me. Who's this, Minga? Oh, yeah, you're in New Zealand.

Everyone's so hot, aren't they? Yeah, you're in New Zealand. Europe, four, three. We literally, yesterday, or whatever day it was, Saturday, when we arrived at Doha Airport for our big flight back to Auckland, me and Fletch, we turned up and all the Kiwis are there and both said what up? What up Mingus? Lots out here. Yeah referring to ourselves as well. Yeah You know the Kiwis and Mingus have been in hot Europe all summer. Woo!

Anyway happy to be here Genuinely, yeah, and everyone who had to sit here through two weeks of solid rains, pretty stoked to be hearing about you. Cheers. Do you think they want a photo of the tan? Yeah, nah, I reckon they do. We'll chuck up a photo of the tan. Yeah. Give it a blast.

Up for saturation. Coming up on the show, Born the Top Six, we've got a celebrity dad inbound, Pete Davidson, who I didn't even know was seeing anybody, has announced that he will be a father. He gives off big dud sperm energy. Do you know what I mean? Like they wouldn't, they wouldn't swim properly. Yeah.

But so like, you know, everybody knows a person that should stop breeding, but just continues to. Yeah. And you're like, how are they going? Right. You got sperm powered by Siggy's and Cody's. Yeah. Ah, but maybe that's the secret.

Maybe. I've got the top six pieces of parenting advice from Pete Davidson. Next on the show though. Everyone's always asking who's the next Bond? Who's the next Bond? A new Roma. A famous boyfriend. Okay.

A plus one. I'd call him a plus one. Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley. Let's bring that conversation we were just having privately onto air. And I don't say that often. Okay. We were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the time. And we were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the

time. And we were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the time. And we were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the time. And we were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the time. And we were just discussing who we thought would be good just to get the best of the time. And we were just discussing who onto air and I don't say that often. Okay. We were just discussing who we thought would be good James Bond's. The new next James Bond whenever they finally decide to make another movie because it's been a long time. And they were like maybe it's a woman this time and I think even women were like no we're alright. Or can you dial up a... I absolutely can't, no I can't get down on the internet.

I can. My password expired on the internet. I can. What about- My password expired over the holidays. And I feel like we need like a good bond. You know when Adele did- I've got YouTube premium. Oh, I see.

So no ads. I think I'll just take over. I think you've got to take over the YouTubing on the show now. Uh-huh. I'm hoping that I'll still- Are you still in a recession? Yeah.

Okay. I'm in a personal recession. I pulled myself out. Did you? Yeah, I decided not to opt in. Yeah, but you've just been printing more money and that's not the way to get yourself out of a recession. Are we going to do Adele?

Yes. I'm just doing the classic James Bond theme. Lovely. Now, the rumours have been, I feel like there's a new actor rumoured to be James Bond every month. Yeah, Richard Madden would be my choice. Scottish. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You know I love Henry Cavill. Did you see him at Wimbledon? I'm upset. It was a swing and a miss from our boy, I should say.

The long hair under the hat with the weird coat. It was a rare swing and a miss from my beautiful, beautiful baby boy. Idris Elbae from Muslim Mass of Ages. Do you know Henry Cavill is shorter than me? Is he? We've all been gaslit as the entire world to think that Henry Cavill was 6'6", 6'4", 6'5". Yeah, we have.

No, he's 6'1". Camera angles, 6'1". Oh, okay, well, that's not too bad. No, it's not bad, but it's like. Well, the latest rumour to be the next James Bond. And I don't mean to, you know, poo poo this guy, but I didn't know who he was, and so I'm gonna call him Dua Lipa's fiance. Oh.

You know, and that's insulting. He was in Masters of the Year, Callum Taylor. Callum Taylor, Turner, Turner. Callum Turner, Turner. Calum Turner. He's 35 years old and he is engaged to Dua Lipa and looking at him I was handsome, no doubt. He used to be a fashion model. Yeah yeah yeah yeah, but it's not giving me Bond. There's Bond faces. Give me Bond. James Bond. Do you know who I also heard rumoured a while ago? Pissed Bossy coming back. Dude, I'd be here for her.

On Ozempic. He's hot now. Yeah, Ozempic. Is he on Ozempic? No, but I'm just saying you would if you had to be James Bond again. No, he's in Pretty Good Knit. Yeah, I know. But he's like-

Have you watched The Mobland? Not yet, no. Yeah, he's in Good Knit. Okay, so you reckon- Real. Hor horrible piece of shit in that TV show. I usually love them, but... Yeah, but Jacob Elordi. Too young. Yeah, Jacob Elordi's too young.

I reckon they need to... James has to be weathered a bit. Yeah, but they need to go a little bit younger so you can get like 10 movies out of them. Yeah, but Daniel Craig was a bit weathered and leathered and he got bloody heaps out. Yeah, but he moaned about it the whole time. He did a bit of all... He's just a whinging pomaps out. Nobody moaned about it the whole time.

He's just a whinging pom though. So odds checker, which is a betting, because you know they bet on this in the UK, they've got the odds for all the actors that have been rumoured that could be James Bond. Aaron Taylor Johnson has long been rumoured. Oh Regé Jean-Page, he was ages ago, right after Bridgerton, the hot guy from Bridgerton. Theo James, Tom Holland. James Norton, Jack Loudon, slow horses Who was it you said just before that? James Norton, English actor He's a great actor. I'm poor and I don't pay for YouTube premium wouldn't let the song run out

Oh far out. It's gone into the Spider-Man theme song. No, we're talking about James Bond. But you did say Tom Holland, so I think you prompted it. I actually sort of responded. I have never seen James Norton before in my life. He's been in a bunch of British dramas. Happy Valley. Yeah, Happy Valley is amazing in Happy Valley.

And he's definitely got a James Bond look. Yeah, he does. Tom Hardy, was he rumoured for a while? I mean, just hot British actors. Yeah, just basically any... Paul Meskell? Hmm... Nah.

Too small, too petite. Tom... Tom... What about this Tom Brittany guy? Is he on the list? I don't know who that is. With a name like Brittany... Well...

No, James Bond of mine is gonna be called Brittany. With a taste of the lipstick on a ride The name's Bond, James Bond of mine is gonna be called Britain. With a taste of the lips, I'm on a ride. The name's Bond, James Bond. Play ZM's, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Gymnasiums, all the rage. I've heard about these. People going there and sweating, working out, getting buff. I didn't work out the whole holiday at all.

Did you have an active holiday? Yeah. Yeah, well that's all right. Okay, then you kept it moving. Thank you. an active holiday? Yeah. Yeah well that's alright. Okay then you kept it moving. Thank you. Yeah. I climbed hills. I went to the gym twice but and then had some active and then just not. Yeah. I keep calling my pasta belly period bloat. It's not. It's been there for weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Well a gym in the UK has upset people. It's sent out a message to did that what was that noise? Did someone just fart? No. Oh Did I move my elbows or something? Oh something I was gonna say someone just tried to get away with the sneakies too.

Please be a broadcasting professional and move on the listener didn't notice, Vaughn. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm sorry. Have I been told? It's Eagle Eared, although it's Eagle-eyed. No, nobody heard it. Nobody heard a single thing. There might be a one listener though, out there, that does listen just for farts. Do you know what I mean?

It's like, oh, there was one. 6'16". That's their weird, actually I shouldn't have said weird, I'm not here to yuck your yum. That's your kink. You listen to the radio, hoping to hear a sneaky fart.

A famous fart. So they send out a text, this gym, in the UK, to all of its members, saying, if you're a woman aged 12 to 24, you wouldn't be welcome at the gym throughout the week during the hours 4pm to 7pm. Right. That's for the older girls.

Don't call us. No, sorry, sorry, no, no, no. Unless you were between 12 and 24. So the older girls aren't allowed to come between. Now you've confused me. Yeah, no, let me reset. So you're hearing sounds that don't exist and you're reading the articles wrong.

It's not a good start to the first show back. Yeah, what did he do? The whole time we're all off. Before we went on air, said that this was for women Yeah. and excluded those and you didn't listen. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. That's a little tap up. Yeah. Okay, so, and then from, so you're not allowed there unless you ever. That's a tap up. Yeah. Okay, so, and then from, so you're not allowed there unless you ever turn 12 and 24 between four and seven. This is, I guess, the after school rush. Between four and seven? Yeah.

You can't do that. And then from 7pm the gym becomes- All our saggy gals out waiting there, waiting out turn. It's like after work prime time. Yeah. Who go after work and that late in the day? Such respect for people that go after work. I know, I think if I worked nine to five, I'd have to go before work and that late in the day such respect for people that go after I know I think if I work

Nine to five I'd have to go before work because otherwise after work I would not be bothered in the evenings, especially in winter. Are you late? Yeah dark. It's cold Yeah, I want to stew. Yep, and a TV show and there's always someone at work He's like should we go to the pub and you're like, we shall drop a little wine. I can have one Yeah, it's called One Wednesdays. Yeah. You know what I mean? And Two Tuesdays.

Yeah. And more on Monday. And Tree Tourism. Why are they banning the old girls? I don't know. Well, they've decided because they wanted it to be more accessible to the younger people post-school at that stage.

And this is a weird thing. My daughter's joined Rowan at 13. And she's like, oh, we've been told we might need gym memberships. Are they aware of the shoulders they'll garner? Yeah. I said to her, she'll be Jennifer Garner with those shoulders. Yeah, man, I'm jealous of all the girls that did rowing and dragon boating in my school. They got those nice shoulders.

Now what's the difference between rowing and dragon boating? Dragon boating is one pedal. No, because the rowing she's doing is one pedal, four at each side. It's on a dragon. It's literally in the name, dipshit. Dragon boating. Like it's on... Of course. It just seems more chill though. Yeah, yeah, shit. Dragon boating. Like it's on, of course.

It just seems more chill though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dragon boating. No, dragon boating's not. No, dragon boating's, isn't dragon boating akin to a waka? Yeah, I think so. I think so.

You sit up and you've got the- Slimmer boat. You've got the paddle on the vertical rather than the sort of more horizontal. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I mean, cause like, this is why I- My school was too poor for Rowan. Yeah we didn't even have a lake.

We didn't even have a lake in New Plymouth. My school was laden with money. My gym, this is why I ended up moving down to the big co-ed gym away from the women's gym is because all these... Oh the Warriors. The hot All Blacks. Okay well there's one of the reasons why I moved down to the co-ed gym, is because all these young things, just sort of coming up to the girls gym and hanging around on their cell phones and having a gossip and working out with their labubus. And making me feel like a saggy, waggy woman.

They were wearing labubus. No, they put their labubus on the machine to hold them. And I'd kick those labubus. They'd go and do a leg press and put their Labooboo on the leg extension machine. Yeah, to hold their spot. So you couldn't use the leg extension. Like a Labooboo bags. Yeah. Like Labooboo holding bags. Yeah. Yeah.

Huh. OK, so it's called dragon boating because the boat was traditionally decorated with a dragon's head at the start of the boat and a dragon's tail. We literally said because the boat is a dragon. It's a dragon. I literally said that. Can you get your head in the game, Vorm, before we continue with the rest of the radio. I will, I'm really going to. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole is do you like when a plane has wi-fi? Now you went on a plane that had Starlink wi-fi.

Yeah and Free in New Zealand's trialling this on, our friend Matt the other day said he was on a flight to Dunedin maybe and they were trialling Wi-Fi starling on that. I had my local phone because I had Wi-Fi going across the Tasman over the break but it wasn't far. Yeah normally the old plane Wi-Fi is terrible you might get the odd message through but yeah in New Zealand trialling is even on the smaller planes the ATRs. Really?

Which is yeah insane so they're trialling out at the moment, but we were on Qatar and they had super fast starlink and it was free. And that was a 17 and a half hour flight and I was pretty stoked I had it. Same, we were, like, you could watch Instagram reels and stream and. And I did everyone, even with all those people

on that big ass plane. Yeah. Oh, I was sat between, bloody, a row of Gen Z's. Never loving it. It's much to my delight. Let's not get into it. Where were they going? Home, I think.

They big Kiwi energy, but they were, everyone was just on Instagram. Yeah. Rude of the younger generation to go overseas and I didn't get to go to Europe. It's like when you're older than all the all blacks, you know, that's a real kick in the teeth. Yeah, it is. But some people like the escape, especially business people, because they don't have to

work. Don't have to work, they can read their book, they can watch their little movies. There was a guy next to me on the flight home and he was working pretty much the entire time he was awake, sending emails, like online. I was like, that's pretty insane. No, I wouldn't be doing that. I'd say, oh my online, I was like, that's pretty insane. No, I wouldn't be doing that. I'd say, oh my God, my computer wouldn't connect to it.

Yeah. For some reason, everyone's did but mine. Do you like when a plane has Wi-Fi is the question and 70% of people said yes, yes I do. Okay. 30% said no, it's nice to disconnect. I mean, paying for it's another thing because some of the airlines, it's quite expensive.

I know you pay for it. Oh, anonymous. Oh, anonymous. Oh, anonymous. Oh, anonymous week. I don't even know what they've said in like an imagine. Anonymous. Those Air New Zealand toilets have great lighting for certain photos. How?

I don't downlighting. That's cellulite central. What are they doing? Dip pics in the blog. I actually... Dip pics in the blog. This is a man. I can see that from the profile picture. Dip pics in the blog. I actually... Deep pics in the blog? This is a man. I can see that from the profile picture. Deep pics in the blog?

That's not on. Oh come on now. Please. I cannot imagine someone would do that. I would never. You need to work on saying that a bit more truthfully if you could. I did that once. Why don't you go to Toi Whakaani and get an acting degree for us?

Yeah, you need to spend $38,000 to learn how to say that with some conviction. Exactly. I can't believe people would do that. It's the gays isn't it? Oh they're taking up the vast majority. Please don't sully the gays. It's the gays. Danny said yes although I recently flew with China Eastern Airlines and couldn't get on the wi-fi because I didn't have a Chinese cell phone number. Oh yeah they want to monitor everything. They wanted to monitor everything. Yeah, you probably did well not connecting to that wifi. Yeah.

I just don't want to miss out on that duolingo streak on a long flight from New York to Auckland. How would you do that when you miss a whole day? Because that's happened to me before. I missed a day in my fitness tracker ring, just skipped and I lost my streak. Oh no. Oh I travelled into West I don't care about it now but I used to. We were actually at a concert the other day and our friends Sean and Jared did their Duolingo streak in the middle of a festival. I was like, get it,

August my daughter's learning to play music on Duolingo. Oh. No, that's Dua Lipa. No, you can learn. This is the world that you can learn Dua Lipa on Duolingo. Wow. Interesting. Well, that's good. Yeah, I thought it was quite a cool branch out for them.

Vicky said, I love it, but it's often a shit signal. Yeah, well not with the Starlink. No, the Starlink was amazing. I don't plan well enough for entertainment possibilities, so Wi-Fi allows me to disconnect mid-flight. Oh, now you've got it, yeah. Get out of there. What if I watched on the plane the other day?

God, it was trash, but I was like, that was what I needed. You know, you'll allow yourself a trash watch on a plane. I watched The Wizard of Oz, like the original. The original? Yeah. With the asbestos snow. Yeah watched The Wizard of Oz, like the original. The original? With the asbestos snow? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Judy Garland. And the barbiturates. It was great.

Yeah. And the monkey, freaking monkeys. Did they all get cancer from the snow? Yeah, dude. Well, they got cancer from lots of things. Those Ompolumpus, no, wait, wrong small people. The Munchkins of the guilds. The various guilds.

Did any of the Munchkins work as Ompolumpus? Probably. No, it was a bit earlier. No, wait, 1939, 1975. That would have been the oldest Ompolumpus. That would have been riddled with asbestos snow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. various gills. Did any of the munchkins work as Ompolompus? Probably. No, it was a bit earlier. No wait, 1939, 1975.

That would have been the oldest Ompolompus. They would have been riddled with lung cancer. What is it called? Memphis... Memphis... Emphysema. No, no, no, no. It's got a big long name.

Memphis meltdowns. Memphis meltdowns. That's what I thought he was going to say too. They get Memphis meltdowns in the lungs. The ice cream, the sticks, the loss. What a way to go, what a way to go. Their lungs actually start to Memphis meltdown. Yeah, they do.

Oh, God. Shit. I thought he was going to say too, Memphis meltdowns in the lungs. The ice cream, the sticks, the loss. What a way to go, what a way to go. Their lungs actually start to Memphis melt down. Yeah, they do. Oh, gosh. That gooey caramel. Oh my god, your lungs turn into gooey caramel.

Lee said there's nothing quite like doom scrolling and somehow getting into plane crash algorithm and then just watching all of those while you're coming into land. You know, I was watching about the Air India plane crash. I was reading up about it while on the plane. Why would you do that? This seems weird. Seems weird. Tessa, as part of the game of flying you've got to be prepared with downloads and be untouchable to the wild world. 100%. Caroline says we're so addicted to our phones. It's nice to be forced to be without it for some time.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like much fun to me. Yeah, and do what? Yeah, I agree with that statement, but then I'll also have downloaded TV shows ready to watch on my device. And Todd said, if that plane's going down, it would be nice to be able to Facebook message my mum saying, I love you, I'm in a plane crash. Fuck out! For her to reply, thumbs up. I thought Todd was going to say it would be nice to watch it live on the news.

Oh, tune in. Because yeah, a lot of them. Facebook Live it. Yeah, do you remember that? You had Facebook Live it. Yeah, the legacy. Do you remember that plane that landed once and the wheel turned sideways and it was streaming live

and the people on board were watching it while they landed? Because you were down in reception town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild. What's the wheel doing facing the wrong way? Isn't that why they stole that ATR in Canada and did lip delipse? Yeah. And was like talking to control the whole time? And they just plowed into the side of a hill.

What a way to go. That and a Memphis Mountdown. DUDE ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How? Plowing into the side of a cliff while you're halfway through a gooey, terrible Memphis Mountdown? I'm just gonna razzgrip if I'm gonna die. Yeah, put your mask on razz crap either way. Goo razz crap, we're talking about. Boom!

Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. I've got a travel hack I must share. And I did this on a whim. I just worked this out in the moment. Okay. This is really good for me. Okay.

Okay, so just as a little side note, overseas I did go a little crazy at the fairs and the markets and the antique stores. God you love some old crap don't you? Oh my gosh you should see the old crap I bought home. You got some old crap over there. Phenomenal old crap. Got some old crap. Europe's got a lot of old crap because of how old Europe is. It's so old. Despite two massive wars, I'd say world wars. Yes. Happening right there.

So much crap survived. Still got so much old crap. Still lots of old crap. Lots of old crap, I just gobble it up, I love it. So I- Tricking any of your old crap was ever in the hands of the Nazis? Oh yeah.

I don't know if they would love the grape looking jug that I bought that looks like a grape or the pumpkin dish where you take off the lid. Nazis love pumpkins. Wait you've got it you bought back from Europe. I've decided I'm collecting. A pumpkin that you take the lid off of it and it's a bowl. Yeah it's phenomenal. I'm collecting vegetable and fruit shaped ceramics. This is my new thing. Anyway, so I had to abandon every item of clothing other than the ones I was wearing home. That's my parents' problem now.

Cause I also bought seven bronze statues. That's just a story for another day. Well, I wanted one of them. They came as a seven. How much was this old crap? Now that's got Nazi written all over it. That's got Nazi, yeah. A bronze statue.

I think they're too mod for Nazis. They could be ahead of their time. Postmodern, I will say, Nazi snappy dresses. Snappy, snappy, snappy. Snappy dresses, probably would have been into a little bronze. So I was nervous about the weight of my suitcase and all these breakables. So the suitcase was too heavy.

I knew that much. I wasn't, I came in 400 grams under. I was so pleased. But I went to a local little cheap store and bought a wheel on hand luggage, which I didn't have on the way over, to put the ceramics. So I was in charge.

The pumpkin. The pumpkin dish. The parrot vase that's got a parrot on it. And the Nazi statues. And the Nazi statues. And I wrapped them up and I had them in this thing. Right. How is this a travel hack?

This is just packing suitcases. So get this. So on my allowance on Qatar Airways, I've got a 30 kg one piece chicken. Generous. Very generous and I needed every gram. What, to Qatar not have back issues? I needed every gram.

30 kilogram? 30 kilogram. They just work them through their back issues. Yeah, I just like shut up, keep going. Just guard them, get some more. 30 kg check-in, I made that with 400 grams to spare and I had a 7 kg carry-on. My backpack is already like eight or nine.

No, it wasn't, it was like heavy. And then I had this extra piece. So what I decided to do, I was like, I'm going up to check-in. Wait, and this is the travel pack. This is the travel pack, okay. They weigh on these big international flights, they weigh your carry-on, like Jetstar does.

Yep. And so I knew I wasn't gonna get away with it. I've got, I'd say 15 kgs worth of carry-on in two pieces. So I do my big bag, that's checked through, and she said, how many pieces of carry-on do you have? And I said, just the backpack. And she and she goes well what about that little carry-on suitcase there and I said oh no that's not mine that's my brother's he's checking into another flight. Oh Hayley. Oh Hayley no so what you've done there is

lied to the Civil Aviation Authority. You've lied to the airline and now the plane's gonna be overweight. Well I lost 16 kgs in the last year, so last year wasn't a problem. I have thought about bringing that up to them. That's true, that's true. You should get extra. I flew these exact flights last year, and you didn't dock me for the extra 16 kgs

of carrying around, I'm simply utilizing those kgs. We're certainly not encouraging this as a travel hack. I'm encouraging it, don't be stupid. You have your stuff on the trolley, the moment they say, is that all carry on? You go, oh no, that's my friends, but we're all going on different things, we're just sharing a trolley.

She was like, okay, sweet, weighed my backpack off I went, sucker. But then you didn't have a sticker though on that. So they tag you once they've weighed it. Right. I ripped the tag off my backpack. Yeah. So then I go, oh, I don't know where they've gone.

And then, by the way, when they say through security, no one checks for the tags. Unbelievable. On you go. Wow. I was a... I brought home... What a travel hack.

45 kgs. I was a prick on a plane over the break. Really? I got on, I was last. Oh my God. Literally the last person on the plane. Strolling on. And here we go and there's no way left to put your bag in there. No way left to put the bag in. I hate that. And I opened it. They were on the plane. And here we go and there's nowhere left to put your bag.

No where left to put the bag. I hate that. And I opened it. They were by the way, they didn't ding dong me. They didn't bing bong our flight where I was at. Then I was like, I've got to be bing bonged. I walked in and it was full and I opened it up. I was like, oh, who's are these bags?

And one woman said two of them are mine. And I took one down and gave it to her and I put mine in it. Yeah. Nicest guy in radio. You pieces? No no one piece of carry on. That's what the airline says. What? She can sit with that on her lap. What a prick. What an actual prick. Vaughan Smith prick. Please ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley group chat, this is the top 6. Well, Pete Davidson certainly wasn't on my gonna be a parent this year bingo card. No.

I sort of haven't followed who he was even dating since Kim. Couldn't keep up. There was a whole bunch of them wasn't there? Wait no, no shade. Are you slight shaming Pete Davidson right there? Like no, no shade. Are you slut shaming Pete Davidson right now? Sounded like you were. He's a free man, he can do whatever he wants.

No shade. No shade. Yeah, he absolutely can. But yeah, Elsie Hewitt is her name. Weirdly, I'd never heard of her until I saw this announcement. Yeah. And then I was watching a TV show from 2020 called Dave. It's about the rapper Little Ducky. Yeah. And she was in there. And I was like, weird, I was watching a TV show from 2020 called Dave, it's about the rapper Little Dicky. Yeah. And she was in there and I was like, weird I've never heard of her and twice in one day I've been introduced and then reminded of who this person is. I reckon even as a woman, if I was choosing a rap name I would not go for Little Dicky.

No, that's his whole thing is he raps a lot about his little dick. He's got a tiny little... okay. Tiny little dick. Alright, well then there you go, that's his whole shit. Embrace it. I said a really good show. It's not about the size. Yeah, haven't seen it.

I would watch. I'd put it on your list. Okay. Of an easy comedy. Well, a big list. The top six. The top six are parenting tips from Pete Davidson. Number six on the list,

no smoking until you've had breakfast. And then, because of course you've got to start the day right. Yeah. Don't smoke on anybody's stomach. Is he a big smoker? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's on the darts. He's been on the darts for years.

I think the darts were the least of the problems of the things that were going into the body. Green darts. Number five on the list of the top six parenting tips from Pete Davidson, no tattoos. Sorry, no temporary tattoos. They're tacky, real tattoos, they're A-okay. It can just be blasted away anyway,

so they're kind of temporary anyway. Yeah, you got a lot of them lasered off, didn't they? They did, ow. Yeah. Number four on the list are the top six parenting tips from Pete Davidson. Don't sweat the small stuff, all the big stuff. It just don't sweat anything really.

Be chill. Roll through life. He seems pretty chill. He is so chill though. Number three on the list are the top six parenting tips from Pete Davidson. Keep snacks everywhere. Mostly for you when you get the munchies,

but also kids quite like snacks. Yeah they do like snacks. It's good to keep snacks on board. Often it stops them crying doesn't it? Yeah it does. Eat those. Like most of us except they just don't know to identify it as hangy yet. Yeah. And we're adults and we behave even more poorly when we're hungrier than children do. Fletch does. I tried not to look at him too directly as I said. I could feel it was pointed. It felt a personal attack. Number two on the list of the top six parenting tips from Pete Davidson.

Screen time's okay when it's limited to an hour long comedy special that he's just released on Netflix. That's okay. Yeah, that's okay. That's fine. A little promotion there for the comedy special. And number one on the list of the top six

parenting tips from Pete Davidson. Just remember having kids is like having drunk roommates, which he's had a lot of. They make messes, they cry a lot, and sometimes fall asleep in weird places. Yeah, and spew everywhere. Yeah, and you survive that, so you'll survive having a kid. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Who is the one person you don't want to be today at work on Monday? Cause mine is. Adolf Hitler. Well, he's dead, so no, I'd rather be alive. Okay, you didn't say alive or dead.

You didn't specify. Mine would be the CEO. Well, it's, that's what he's resigned as. He's resigned. This is the guy that was caught. Cheating on his wife. At the Coldplay Kiss Cam, which by the way they did they do Pukana cam at the was and it's so good and they edited that in to the Pukana cam at yesterday's game.

Very funny. So if you've missed this, hi welcome, happy birthday welcome to the world. Yeah, there was a CEO Astronomer is the company. What did they do? Do you know? There was a CEO, Astronomer is the company. What did they do? Do you know? Astronomer? I don't know. I don't know. And the head of human resources.

It's always the HR people, isn't it? It always is. Always the HR people. Naughty, naughty, cause I think they're invincible. Don't they? Who are they gonna get complained to? We're caught on Coldplay's very famous, often broadcast kiss cam at their massive

concerts. Arm in arm, you know, him straightening her from behind and them listening. So good. Camera comes on, if you've missed this, you've got to go and see it. She like turns around, covers her face. He like ducks. It's so unclassy. Oh, and the internet was just like, finally. It's yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Some content created out of it. Oh my God. It's been incredible content. Did you see the Phillies?

You know, the American baseball. Yeah. American baseball, baseball, the Philadelphia mascots. Yes. Oh yes I did. And it was like, he was holding the other mascot from, oh my God, so good. So then the company, Astronomer, announced that they'll be doing an investigation,

because obviously this is a big no-no, CEO and head of HR, and then he just announced, I think it was like yesterday, that he's resigning and oh my god. And both of them were married as well, weren't they? Both of them were married, and then photos of their real families on the internet, which was far out. And then was it his wife changed her last name on her Facebook profile subtly? Both of them are married and then photos of their real families on the internet was far out. You just wouldn't want to be anyone. And then was it his wife changed her last name on her Facebook profile subtly?

That's the bit for attention. Yes, nothing really subtle about changing your last name on Facebook. By Felicia. Well, apparently there have been, there's been a rise in searches for cheating on adult websites. Really? Yeah. So people want to watch videos where the theme is cheating.

Cheating. And it's been a rise. Things like dirty office, you know, boss, that kind of stuff, which apparently are categories on these apparent websites. I've never heard of them. No. I'm just reading the article fresh here, so sorry if I'm stumbling through it. Sounds stealthy.

There's some sort of hub, but yeah, there's a huge rise in- Like an HR hub. Like you go onto your intranet at work and you go to the HR hub and you can learn. I think it's different, but I'm just- Is it that sort of hub? I'm not sure.

But yeah, people are looking up cheating adult content now, cause they're all like, oh my God, that's a fantasy. I feel like it united the world for like just a day or two. We were all on board. I felt like it united the world for like just a day or two. We were all on board. I felt like we did. We put our differences aside. Life is good.

Life is good, yes. Great meme about how every summer fate sacrifices one CEO. And it went through the last three years. The ocean gate CEO. Luigi. Maggiela. Who killed the person who shot the.

The health insurance situation. Yeah. Well we thank them for their service to the internet. Could you imagine being those two people? Today, like you're waking up and you're being like, was that a nightmare? No. It's a living nightmare. It's a living one.

Do you know, okay, I've got a song we need to play at the background of this. Now that I'm the new show designated YouTube music player. Okay, I... No, because you have stream music. You didn't have it yet and you don't have... But you can't afford YouTube premium, you're in a recession. I'm in a personal recession.

Oh hang on, I know. That sounded like an ad to me. Was that an ad? No, it was the video, you know, they've got sort of a bit at the top. See, I wouldn't have done this. I wouldn't have. Where's your head at, Hayley? Oh of a bit at the top. See, I wouldn't have done this. I wouldn't have. Where's your head at, Hayley? Okay, good. Do you know what I mean?

Where's your head at? That's what I'm asking myself. Can I start this story by saying, when we landed at Auckland International Airport yesterday, quarter to three in the morning, and I get a ding, because Hayley and I are sitting apart, it's like, I can't find my passport. I was like, what?

How'd you get on the plane? Well, you don't need it to get on the plane. Yes, you do. No, you don't You go through the check-in thing then we walk on you get on a bus in Doha Then you check it at the gate They don't check it on the plane on the when you get when you go up they take it to the line Before you get on the bus, but I'm playing Yeah, but from the bus and getting on the plane, you don't have to show your passport.

You can put it away, you can put it in your pocket. I choose my pocket. You should have seen these floppy linen pockets. You don't put a passport into a floppy linen open pocket. That was why we had those track pants shorts that were all the rage there for a while. Terribly shallow pockets. Yeah, terrible, you'd sit down and then you'd hear and your phone would just jump. I like to travel with a zip pocket. We had those track pants shorts that were all the rage there for a while. Terribly shallow pockets. Yeah.

Terribly. You'd sit down and then you'd hear... And your phone would just jump. I like to travel with a zip pocket. Mmm, yeah, I know. I just... But also I was crammed, man. I was in the middle of a row of four.

Another where's your head at moment. I booked what I thought was an aisle, but then the plane changed and it quickly became not an aisle seat. So I was just in the middle. What idiot books a middle seat for 17 hours. But you did find your passport. Oh yeah, because it was on the floor three rows back. But man, the panic was real.

I was like, okay, there's my stuff. And I said to the guy next to me, can you get my backpack down for me? Thank you very much. Looking through I was going through immigration and I said good luck to you, I might see you tomorrow. I heard him. Wow, always the gentleman, eh?

Always the gentleman. I could almost hear him flipping the bird and saying see ya. Yeah. You found the passport. Yeah. But that was a panic. So had it slid on the floor.

Yeah, so from my floppy little pocket, when I sat down in the middle of a row of four. Because again another fault of mine on this travel trip. It had obviously slipped out and then during the flight had slid back and been moved around by people's feet. When the plane took off it went, whee! Bye, good luck in Auckland! And I was like, okay good. Right, this is a worrying passing though for you. Yeah, so then I mentioned earlier in the show how I had bought a specific new little

wheel-on suitcase for carry-on for my ceramics, of which are true treasures to me and no one else. Nazi ceramics. Nazi ceramics in all sorts, when in Europe, so they say. I was waiting for you at Doha airport and so I went into a restaurant and then when you texted me being like, I'm here, come and meet me, I just left without the bag. I didn't tell you this. Yeah, I just left without the bag. And then just when I got to where I was meeting you, which is a good like five minutes away,

I was like, I feel light. God, I feel light, like I've lightened a load. Ran back to Gordon Ramsay's burger joint. Whereas, sitting for a margarita, got it, it was fine. And then on the way over as well, I did decide to treat myself to a pair of designer sunglasses, I was just gonna say it. She's not a woman of the people in this moment.

Wow. I did, yeah. I saw the sunglasses, I thought those aren't a woman of the people. She's not a woman of the people, but I spent the most amount of money I've ever spent on a pair of sunglasses, get to France with my mum and she's like, are those real? I said mum, Prada. She was like, oh my god, you're kidding me. Oh my god, amazing. We pop into a shop and then there's a little clothing store

attached to the supermarket. We go in, we try on a couple of frocks, nothing for us. We leave, go to the supermarket, get our stuff, get back to the car. She was like, show me the sunglasses. I said, they're gone. What did I tell you when you said you were going gone. Oh! What did I tell you when you said, where are they? What did I tell you when? Why are you spending that much money? You're just gonna lose them.

Yeah. Yeah. Literally it was like. Wait, but did you get them back? So we went back through to the mall, through into the clothing store, went into the clothing room. They're just sitting on a little stool in the changing room.

Prada. Crazy, yeah. There was so many instances. Prada's a trash in Italy though, aren't they in the changing room. Prada. Crazy, eh? There was so many instances. Prada's a trash in Italy though, aren't they? Everybody's got a Prada. Yeah, but I kind of wish I just bought the Chinese version. Hailey got them from those guys that had their rugs tied up with ropes so they can run away from the cops

when they turn up. Yeah. But they were genuine, he gave me the, it's got a box. I don't know if they are, Hailey, but okay. I'm just worried, eh, my head is just, it just doesn't exist. I just don't know where anything are Hayley but okay. I'm just worried, hey my head is just, it just doesn't exist. I just don't know where anything is at any given moment. Are you getting enough sleep? Like that's gonna solve anything.

What's that gonna solve? What I'm about to say will shock you. Staggering numbers out of Australia. How much are we spending on hens do's? Now I can't, that was actually really good. I think 60 minutes. That had big current affair tonight. Yeah.

On a current affair. Yeah. With me, Amanda. Staggering numbers out of Australia. How much we spending on hens do's? I'm trying to think of the most expensive one I ever went to was only like 150. I've never done a big like traveller. You know, like go away, go away on a big trip or something

like that. Look, I want to buy it and everyone has to, you know, contribute. Even a stags do with a few events and it's still, you're looking at a few hundi. Stacks up. Well, apparently in Australia, women, so just hens do's of the traditional form, have spent $727 million a year on hens do's alone. That's like what their economy makes from hens do's alone. $727 million, like, I hate to say it, about what you could do with that money.

You could travel Europe, you know, bonjour. You could bloody buy a house. Is there an average price for a hens do? Or is that just what the total is spending? Per party, the average price is 614 per person. What? Is that a hotel room, is that going to the Goldie? It's everything, hotel room room the sash the the travel the alcohol the taxis the food

the dust are there and Looking at how much a wedding's gonna cost yeah, and then if you're attending the wedding as well I can't go to the he's doing the wedding in the same frock no and then if you're an out-of-town Hen who's the hen? It's the bride a if you're out of yeah, what does that make the people in the same frock? No. And then if you're an out of town hen, who's the hen? It's the bride, eh? If you're an out of town, what does that make the people attending the party?

Chickens. Chickens. If you're an out of town choc, Yeah. Yep. Then you're travelling twice, right? You're travelling once for the hens. Oh yeah, it's expensive, it's expensive. Yeah, it's 727, that's the staggering stats

that I have here. Daggering number. Daggering number, $727 million. And if it's a destination wedding, you're easily spending that on flights and an outfit. Okay. Easily, easily. You guys are throwing me a hen's party on a budget. Okay. I've put you two in charge.

What are we doing on that day? And it's budget. It is as bougie, not bougie, budget. So we go like unlimited money. Okay, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And we're gonna do it for no money. As little money as possible.

Okay, we'll start by going to a mall and eating people's food that they leave on the trays. Like sometimes people will leave a whole burger. They'll walk away from the whole thing. Hey girls, meet at St. Luke's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At the bottom of the escalators. Meet at the Westfield, and then before,

cause people don't put their trains back, before they do, we'll swoop in there. Like birds, like seagulls. Yeah, great, okay. So then we've got a bit of food in us. Okay, and then we're going to, you know how in the car park of a lot of Westfields, there are clothing bins for donations?

Yeah, we're gonna take our smallest person and put them in there. And they can feed us out the outfits. Or actually, do you know what? I've got an angle grinder, we can knock the lock straight off that. Right. Perfect. They're getting rid of a lot of clothing bins.

So hard to find. And you know why? Because people keep putting junk in there. Yeah. They're rubbish as such. I have never. I have never put my rubbish. I've put correct clothes that I don't wanna wear anymore.

They would get all the bags back to the factory and they were like, what are these gothic undies? Gothic undies? What are these gothic undies? And why are they so bleached? We don't want these, my god. Far apart. Who's going to buy these? Shut the bins down. Shut the bins.

Gothic undies on a high pH golf. Don't you call me that. So, okay. Very high pH. Very high. We've eaten. Yep. We've got outfits. And you've got to drink. No, you just cannot do these things on the cheap. It's a BYO bottle of wine at my house, right? Yeah, it's a BYO. It's a picnic. Picnic. We'll just party at somebody's house. I'm so stoked. What an awesome day you've put together as two of my closest friends. You said we had to do it on a budget.

You said we had to do it on a budget. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it, I was saying that as a courtesy. I want to be on a boat and I want hot morals. You want to be on a boat? Yes, make it happen. Play ZM's Flesh, Bourne and Haley. Play ZM's Flesh, Bourne and Haley.

Good to be back. Good to be back. Good to be back. First show back, we have been away and something I saw while being away at a music festival. This was in Spain, Mad Cool. Met a lot of listeners actually, a lot of podcast listeners that are living in London and overseas. How do you say hello in Spanish? Hola. You know what, it left my brain for a second.

Sorry, I've been in France. Hola mamacita. Hola. But it was at this music festival that I witnessed somebody stuck in probably one of the worst places you could ever be stuck, a porto loo. How far into the festival? It was night, it was like eight or nine o'clock. So it was dark.

But these were like those, you know how sometimes they have, these were like a trailer or a set of like six or seven nice portaloos. Often seen at a wedding or a smaller event. Kind of like those prestige ones that we have in New Zealand, but it was just like five or six or seven in a row or 10 maybe. And they had like a lock and you'd go go and they're actually quite clean and nice. Private cubicle. But I kind of I was coming in to use them and somebody asked me if I worked there.

You do have big toilet. Do I have big? You've got big portalo energy. Well we had these lanyards that clip onto your plastic cups so I don't know if he they thought I was wearing a lanyard so I looked official and. And I was like, no. And I was like, why? And he's like, someone's stuck in there. And then I just hear this like. Oh no.

I'm like, well, have you tried the lock? And they're like, yeah, but it's stuck. So the locking mechanism, which was this like big metal dial had locked and stuck. And you could see the bar going across. Was it plastic? I just would have. No, no, it was metal.

No, the door. Yeah, like metal. What? That's a high quality book. It's high quality. Must be easy to cram. Just walk in with the water blaster. And then I hear someone say,

yeah, they've been in there for 10 minutes. They're gonna miss Benson Boom. They're gonna miss Benson Boom. You gotta get me out of here. I'm about to miss Benson Boom. That's why I can't, for Benson Boom. He's gonna do his flaps, I'm gonna miss it. I'm about to miss Benson Boom flaps. And I was like, well, I don. He's gonna do his flaps, I'm a master. I'm the Bears and Boon Flaps.

And I was like, well I don't know what to do. And I gave it a go. And then, so there was one of those, in the middle it was attached with one of those hex screws. So like not a Phillips or a flat head. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know, I'm gonna go get someone that works there. Do I look like I know my way around a hex screw?

Do I look like I care? I wanna say Bears and Boon. I gotta go look like I care? I wanna see Benson Boone. I gotta go wheeze and go see Benson Boone. I would love to say and help you, but I gotta go see Benson Boone, those flips and such. I can hear them. I was just like, imagine being, and it was like 38 degrees as well.

The smell must have been so enjoyable. Even at midnight it was like tapping on 30 degrees is insanely hot. Far out. Like imagining stuck. What were you tapping on at midnight? Hey, hey, hey, there's old Cedar. What are you up to over there, boy?

Music festival, you? You have some respect. I do apologize. For Benson Boone. Who about to miss Benson Boone? Olivia Rodrigo. Oh my god, I love the vampires. I love the, I love driver's license.

I like from day one. But like what? Oh, screw that. A worse place to be stuck. Oh my god. And that is what I wanted to talk about this morning. Where did you get stuck? Oh. And imagine like at an event as well.

Like it's one thing being stuck in a. Yeah, like a, like just sort of run of the mill or in your house. Like I remember I had a hotel door that like the latch kind of got stuck and I couldn't open it. I was like, how do you get out of here? I got locked in the bathroom when I was a kid and I this may surprise you I made a real scene about it I really made it all about me I

thought I was gonna die doesn't doesn't I think it was probably 30 seconds max until my mom just went it doesn't surprise anyone doesn't surprise I got stuck in an elevator though on New Year's with 11 other people oh no okay that and it was like shoulder to shoulder and even was intoxicated. Is it because someone was jumping? It's because everyone kept flooding in and it got too heavy and it started just dragging down the shaft. And it's terrible when you drag down the shaft. You feel you feel fat because you've gone over the limit of the people. Well also it wasn't the biggest there.

Last guy who got in, I'll say it, he really tipped the sky. He just, I'm just gonna say his energy as well. Well, this is what we want to ask this morning. 0800 DALSATM, give us a call, text through, 9696. We'd love to hear your stories. Where did you get locked in? Oh God. Well, I witnessed somebody stuck in a festival portalo for at least 10, 15 minutes.

Wow, Benson Boo was about to take the stage. They missed Benson Boo. Oh my God, he does the flaps about to take the stage. They missed Benson Boone. Oh my god, he does the flaps and such. He does the flaps off the grand piano. Oh no, don't you put your feet on that grand piano, Benson. He flipped a few times and then he flipped into the crowd. Oh no, someone would have got a foot in the face. Yeah, Benson Boone in the face.

Oh my god, he Boone'd been right in my cheek. Benson Boone. Getting like, it was like 30 degrees, 30 plus degrees. I'd have a panic, I'd have a big old deep panic. Were you there to see them get out? No, cause I'm RIP, I assume they got out. You think Fletcher's sticking around while Beans and Boons aren't stuck?

No, cause Beans, there's so many singers and Beans and Boons. I'm gonna miss a levery ridiculous. But there was a part of me that was like, how long, I do wanna see how this ends. Keep tabs on us, poor guy. But we wanna know from you this morning, where were you stuck? And Shannon, this ends. Keep tabs on us. Yeah. Poor guy. But we want to know from you this morning, where were you stuck?

And Shannon, this was a Portalo for you also. Chandog. Yo. Hey. Shannon. What wrong? So this is a standard plastic Portalo? Yeah.

Pretty scungy, like at go-karting events kind of thing. How did you get stuck there? So aren't they just all little flimsy plastic? Yeah, so I was sitting in there and I was like, you know, a pen or something. Yeah. Or something. I don't know if you can hear me. Um, I must have locked it properly

and this guy came to like use it all and was like, oh, whoa, there's someone in there. Yeah. And then quickly shut the door. But then he like must have put some latch or something on the outside. Oh! Oh! I was like, hey!

Oh no! And it's so shame. There's something so shame about it, Aila. Like, oh, I'm tripped. Well, because everybody knows you were doing poos, you know? You're doing poos. That's why she said weasel or something. She meant poos.

So how long were you in there, Shannon? I don't know, like probably 10 minutes. That's why she said wheeze or something. She meant poos. So how long were you in there Shannon? Um, I don't know, like probably 10 minutes. That's too long. And time, just sitting in a blue Portaloo, that'll go slow. I imagined it was orange. What colour was it? Oh, I thought blue. I felt like it was green. Green.

All wrong. Thank you Shannon. Hayley, where were you stuck? Hey dog. Hi. Hi. We were stuck, my partner and my nine months and I were stuck in a gondola going from Cairns to Corunda.

The gondola had broken down, so we were just dangling up my tropical rainforest for an hour and a quarter. Oh! In the sky around, probably late 20 heat. I just looked it up, a Skyrail rainforest cableway. Oh, that sounds lovely. But no aircon and nearly two hours.

No aircon, tropical birds having a rage outside our condor. And snakes as well, they could go on the wines and crawl in. You know, they could. I don't think they could. They could go on the wines and crawl in. How did your baby handle it? Not so bad, we stripped him down to his nappy on the wines and crawl in. You know, they could. They could go on the wines and crawl in. They couldn't. How did your baby handle it? I'm not so bad.

We stripped him down to his nappy because it was just too much. Oh, to strip me down to my nappy too, to be honest. Yeah, they come and rescue you and everyone's in their undies just sweating. No, everyone's in nappies. Yeah. How the hell did this happen?

Keep your calls coming in. Why do you carry adult nappies in here? 0800 DALSATM, where did you get stuck? Oh god, we're asking where did you get locked in? Where did you get stuck? Because Fletch, you saw someone stuck in a portal at a festival. Yeah, we've had some Instagram responses we asked you and I just thought, these people took the time to reply, let's read them out. Let's give them the floor, please.

Dana said, work toilet, it was so embarrassing, I had to phone call the boss to come and get me out. Imagine if you left your phone on the desk. Oh yeah, you just. Someone would eventually have to go toilet. Yeah, that's madness, right. Also, how long are you waiting after the poop smell? Do you know what I mean? Because you've locked it in with you.

And you've become accustomed. I'm gonna do at least five flushes, maybe wait 10. I might do some burps to mix it up. Do you remember? Yes. Work out, get some BO in the mix. Yeah. Any other smell in there.

Then it's too BO-y, so you're like, now I need to do a fart, now it's the cocktail of the perfect aroma, and they just open the door and they're like, oh God, it's everything. Oh my God. It was too much. Ruby said, my granddad's garage,

it wasn't attached to the house, I thought I was gonna die. I screamed a lot. Between two conjoining hotel room doors in Malaysia. What there's a gap large enough for a person. I just wanted to see if I could fit and oh no Oh my god. Okay, that just gave me That feels like that hotel was not peopled and you were traveling alone. You're gonna die in there You know what I mean? One day the family's gonna come along and be like, can we get the family room? And they'll say, sure, we'll just unlock this door

and this half rotted human. Just slopes. I reckon your dead juices would start leaking out. You'd seep. You'd seep. Yeah. That's the word I'm after. You'd seep.

You'd seep. What a way to go, eh? Seeping between two hotel rooms. What? What? And then you go into the hotel one day and they've just replaced the square of carpet at the side of the door. You're like, what happened there? They? And then you go into the hotel one day and they've just replaced the square of carpet either side of the door.

You're like, what happened there? They're like, we don't talk about it. You're like, it was human seapage, wasn't it? Someone died in the middle of that, didn't they? And they seeped. Oh, it was too dark. Cherry said, new house with an electric gate. There was a power cut.

My flatmate was locked out. I was locked in and the fence was too high for either of us to climb. Like a modern castle. You know, like the high walls. I was gonna say it's sort of like modern day rabbit proof fence, but that felt really dark.

Jess, where were you stuck? My papa was a pretty big gun collector when I was little, and this was the 80s. Yeah, that was loose. Is papa still with us, or? No, no, no, no. I'm glad papa passed before the Trump stuff. Yeah, me too.

You might have lost him to that. He would have lost a lot. This room was a taxidermy and was fully lined with guns and helmets and more, you know, heaps of stuff like that. And I was about five and I locked myself inside of the air. In a room full of guns and a five year old.

And did any of those helmets have an iron eagle on them? Or a... Yeah. Well, because Hayley does have a bit of Nazi, you brought back some Nazi's arms. Suitcases full of the stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

And you finally, right, so you finally got out though? They had to cut a hole in the wall to be able to reach through, because they couldn't actually get in. So they had to cut a hole through the jib rocks to be able to rescue me. Oh my, what before you started firing off the guns? You're like, I'll get myself out of here. Jess, thank you. Some more messages in.

Oh my gosh. Someone got stuck in the toilet at Subway I worked at because the handle fell off. They went in and pulled that when they pulled the door shut behind them, the handle came off in their hand. Oh no. That's nightmare. I, as an eight year old, got locked in the toilet at Botticelli in Te Kāpuna.

Now weren't they like at eight to be taken to an Italian restaurant? Yeah, it's posh, isn't it? It's posh past. It's had red cherries. Cause they just would have got mac and cheese probably. No, we got fries. Bag bowl and some fries.

And a pizza slice. Chicken tenders if they were available. We just had one of those diamond risottos. Yes, and weren't they lovely? Yeah, they were lovely. They were lovely. Wouldn't complain about it. No. had one of those diamond risottos. Yes, and weren't they lovely? Yeah, they were lovely. They were lovelies. Wouldn't complain about it. No.

Someone served me a diamond risotto right now. Do you know what we had for dinner last night? Butter chicken nuggets. Yay! Yeah, dude, it's me. Yeah, it's me. And you know what? There's some leftovers, I'm having them for lunch.

Oh, man, man. It's a little baby. Life is a life. So they were in Botticelli for 20 minutes. The waiter and chef eventually came and removed the hinges of the door and took the whole door off because the lock was malfunctioning

Wow, okay. Oh my god when I was at uni my friend and I lived in a nine-story high dorm building in the USA God bless America, and we were going to the basement to do our washing. It was Haley. It was not got. It was a second tower Don't bring your dark Instagram algorithm onto the show please. I need a lot of 9-11 content. So am I. It's inundated. Anyway. So, 9-3 High Dorm Booting in the USA and we were going to the basement to do our washing. She dropped a sock which jammed the elevator. And then the elevator began bunny hopping uncontrollable between floors.

Like that ride at Disneyland. The Tower of Terror. It's the Guardians of the Galaxy now and it rules. It's a between floors. Like that ride at Disneyland. Tower of Terror. It's a Guardians of the Galaxy now, and it rules, it's a great ride. It wouldn't let us get out, we were thinking we were gonna plummet nine floors to the death. Just going up and down and up and down. Screw that.

So yeah, that's a... Nah. I still have those nightmares, I had, they're not nightmares so much, it's just a recurring dream about the elevator that goes crazy. I had a couple over the break. Do you need to be held?

Um, yeah. Okay. So someone said, I got locked in a public toilet off the square in Venice when I was in Kentucky. Beautiful, beautiful there. Bonjour no. Now there was no door handle on the inside. I had to call my friend to come and get me out

and then we watched and laughed as another guy went in and closed the inside. I had to call my friend to come and get me out and then we watched and laughed as another guy went in and closed the door. Oh. You could have said something. Some people just want to watch the world burn. Ha ha, enjoy that. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. I'm not really one to cry often on Instagram.

I like to go there to spread joy and laughter. But yesterday people were very concerned about me after I posted this story to my Instagram. Fletch recommended a show to me that he said was really cool and sexy and that I'd like it. I was sobbing yesterday. Now to be fair, I'd been up since 2 a.m. Yeah, long flight. Long flight and I was sobbing yesterday. Now to be fair, I'd been up since 2 a.m. Yeah, long flight.

Long flight, and I was just trying to keep it together. And then Fletch was saying that you'd enjoyed a show, and you were like, Haley, this is what he said to me, Haley, you'll love this show. It's fun, it's kind of horny and awesome, it's fun, it's cool, Michelle Williams, she's great in it, you'll love it. And I was like, say no more, say no more.

He came in hot with the recommendations, because he said to me, Murderbot, I've just finished it, you'll love it. And I was like, say no more, say no more. He came in hot with the recommendations because he said to me, Murderbot, I've just finished it, you'll love it. Oh, he literally said to me as well, he's like, I just finished Murderbot. Vaughn's gonna love it. He thinks about us. He does.

I know. I know what my... I watch live episodes of that, and then I'm in a recession. I don't know if I've told you guys, I'm in a personal recession. You are. Yes, you are. I had to cancel Apple TV.

Oh, babe, that one hurts. It does. That one hurts, cause quality. Quality. Quality programming. Quality programming. I'd give you my login, but. No, no, no, don't do that.

Don't do that. And now I've started that show that you recommended with Jon Hamm. Friends and Neighbours. Friends and Neighbours. Also Apple TV. Can't we just really look out for each other? A few apps into that, yeah.

But was I wrong? You, okay. Here's the thing. No, you weren't wrong. It's one of the best things I've watched all year. And I watched the entire thing in the morning. It was very digestible. I think there's eight, seven or eight.

Eight episodes. It's quite short. Quite short. It's just got eight nominations, Emmy nominations. Cause Emmy nominations came out a few days ago. And it got one for the lead actress for Michelle Williams. Who was flawless. The supporting actress.

Yes. Who plays her best friend. Yeah. The supporting actor. Yeah. Which is comedian. Our boy Rob Delaney. Rob Delaney. So funny.

Love that guy. And it got one for the series as well. And then I think others for like, I don't know, editing or like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nose. Camera. Prosthetics. Angle things and makeup.

Prosthetics. I don't know. Things. Wigs and makeup. Prosthetics. I don't know, things. Wigs and whatnot. Yeah. So it's called Dying for Sex is the show and it's based on, loosely based on they say, a podcast of the same name who fought, was a podcast by this woman called Molly

who was diagnosed with cancer and then left her husband and that's kind of the series goes from there. And goes on this journey she's like I've got things I want to do before I die. In the boudoir mostly which is where how you saw it to me as sexy and fun and cool and stuff it totally was. It destroyed me at the end. Yeah. You know when you watch something that's you know pulls on your heartstrings and I always like it you have a little cry, escapes, you think, oh I really needed that and that made me think about this, I was like, inconsolable on the couch.

Really? I was, I wept. It's weird because, I mean you could see it coming a mile away from episode one. Literally, I know, it's there, it's laid out for you, no spoiler alert. No there's no spoiler alert, she's diagnosed with stage four cancer. Terminal cancer! And so when you're watching that... Oh no, because I did see limited series when I looked it up.

Yes, you don't finish this and think, when's season two happening? No, but it was just something about it and I felt betrayed by you. I was like, I was sat down for a fun kind of girly pop, sexy, fun, cool thing. But it was, it was very, it brilliantly acted and written, eh? It's insane. Honestly, one of the best things I've watched. It gave me, it's just quality, quality stuff. It's on Disney.

Do you still have Disney on in your recession life? I do have Disney because- All right, yeah. You watch it. Is it, okay. But if you're feeling emotionally vulnerable. I don't know then, no, probably not. Cause Welcome to Wrexham I watched over the break,

cause I love that show. I've never watched it. Jeez. Did it pull on ya? Dude, it, probably not. Cause welcome to Rexam I watched over the break cause I love that show. I've never watched it. Jeez. Did I pull on ya? Dude, I was about to make you cry. I will say, You got me something rotten. I will say Dying for Sex has 98% on Rotten Tomatoes,

7.5 out of 10 on IMDB. It's amazing. I just feel like when you sold it to me, you could be like, you could have said these things. Oh my God, the performances are amazing. It's like your whole journey you know it's kind of sexy but then it's really... I'm not gonna spoil it! The spoil... the twist! I just want to say we're all dying yeah we well everyone will

she's like nose tube in hospital dying she's fast tracking it I'm just saying we're all dying yeah so make the most of every day that's what he's picking up it. I'm just saying we're all dying. So make the most of every day. That's what he's picking up on what I'm putting down. Now you've sort of got my tears going again. I don't want to die. Is that the acting degree or? Yeah, I'm fine. But honestly, yesterday I was destroyed.

I wept, but I really recommend it. Don't let me put you off. It felt like a good weep, but it was just a deeper weep that I think Fletchie could have prepared me for. Okay, great. I sobbed and to my neighbours I apologise. It was audible sobbing. Oh really?

It's through the wall sobbing. Oh wow. Outside. Like cough I apologise. It was audible sobbing. Oh really? It's through the wall sobbing. Outside? Like, kind of cough sobbing. It was a lot. Oh, you really get it. It was a lot. I love that. That's like when I used to recommend that. What was that documentary that always made you cry? The Curve.

Dear Zachary. Oh. Yeah, because do you remember when I recommended that to you Shannon? You cried didn't you when you watched that? And he came to work on Monday and was like, what the hell? It ruined me for like the next few days. And then Carwin watched it, it was fine. Oh yeah, but Carwin's year, she doesn't have emotions.

Does she? Yeah, she's almost colder than you. Almost. Almost. Almost. But I cried during Dear Zachary. No one saw that ending coming. Oh, far out.

It was crazy. I did. I did. Wow. That doesn't feel like a brag. Do you know? Your brain is so twisted. I saw it. You know what? I'm sorry, I did. I did. Wow. That doesn't feel like a brag. Do you know? Your brain is so twisted. I saw that.

I saw it. You know what? I'm sorry, I didn't even cry. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Mazagran Coffee. What? Mazagran Coffee invented in 1840

as French colonial troops were vastly outnumbered while defending the Mazragan fort in the town of Mostragan during the French conquest of Algeria. Good morning to our Algerian listeners. Good morning. Good morning. We are the Chosen Station.

Now you're giving us a history lesson because there is a new coffee trend. Yep. On the Tok Tok? Yep. I was doing that. On the Tok Tok? Yep. I was doing that, no, were you, hold on, you're looking at me funny. Let me tell you what I was doing here.

I was doing the radio version of one of those internet recipes. You've lost the audience. Jump to recipe, jump to recipe, or listen to an old story I've got to tell. Grandad's talking about the war. Grandad's talking about the defence of the Maserah Grant fort. What I would have done is I would have said

there is a new coffee trend. Well, we're all different. And then gone to the history. And I mean, I'm going new coffee trend. What is it? We've done chocolate, we've done chai, we've done matcha. I feel like I did that by saying Mazregan coffee. We didn't even know you were speaking English at that point.

I know you didn't but it piqued your interest. No it didn't. Your ears got locked in. People turned out. He's hubrishing. Yeah, he's hubrishing again. Again. Right, he's having another one of his strokes.

I asked you to get it together. Earlier in the six o'clock hour I asked you. I'll do this how Fletcher'd like it done. Well, I tell you what, I tell you what, there's a new coffee alert, we're in the morning, and of course, don't talk to me before I've had my cup of coffee. That's how he wanted it done.

I knew Hayley should have led this story. That's how he wanted it done. I actually should have, I should have. Maserang coffee invented in 1840. This is how I would have done it. Yo, yo, sweetie Hans. I've been on TikTok and I've been noticed, why have I been, that was dangerous accent.

Borderline. Yeah. Borderline. I've been on TikTok and I've been noticing something, pretty sick and fly, and I wanna share it with you here and now. What I have poured and organized for us three, my friends, my homies, my brothers, is three espresso shots,

because the TikTok trend for coffee drinking this year is coffee and Sprite. That's how I would have done it. Just I'm just saying. And I'm not even. How does it have anything to do with mazzy coffee or whatever you said? Well, now that you've done it. Perfect Saturday morning.

Yeah! What are we doing? Mazzy coffee again, bud! I've been in the habit of having a coffee in the shower in the morning. What? I like a shower brew before an evening out. Yeah, I'd have a shower beer at the end.

At the end of the day, after doing the lawns, you have a shower beer, top tier, shower coffee. Can't recommend it enough. Well, so this was, they ran out of drinking, they ran out of liquor when they were defending the fort. They ran out of liquor and they would have liquor in their coffee.

Yeah. And then they ran out of milk, because there's no cows in the fort. Where were they going to get their milk from? Right. French mates? So they had Sprite. So they had cold water and they had sugar. So effectively they were making lemonade.

Yeah, lemonade, sweetened water with lemon. And they would put it into the coffee and drink it like that. And then when they went back after being absolutely demolished by the Algerians, I mean, that everybody's trying to get demolished by an Algerian and they went back to do some of something like... I mean we laugh, he's not wrong, he's not wrong, he's not wrong. Is he wrong? Is he wrong? No, he's not wrong.

Show me a wrong man in this room, I don't see him. There's three people in this room, but none of them are wrong. So they took her back to France and it became like a little bit of an ooh la la. Show me a wrong man in this room, I don't see him. There's three people in this room, none of them are wrong. Three wrong people. So they took it back to France and it became like a little bit of a la la. And then disappeared into the annals, I believe it's pronounced, of time. The annals of history. I've been saying it wrong this whole time. I know you have been.

Through the annals of history. No, annals. We travel through the annals of time. It was lost in the annals of history and now in 2025 it is back. Sprite, so lemonade and espresso. And we're gonna try it. Okay, so we went out to the coffee machine and made a little espresso shot.

It's said to go 50-50. Oh no, that's a lot. Well, we've only got a shot, so that's fine. Okay. And it is also recommended you make this with ice coffee. I'm the new music girl on the show. With what, like ice cubes? Yeah, make it like an iced coffee.

Rather than a hot coffee. This building, trust me, I've tried. This building, not an ice cube can be found. Because you know I like my iced coffees. Iced coffees. Gracias, senor. Oh, it's gone frothy fizzy! Okay, try it and give us a review.

What colour cup did you want? You're very particular about that. You're more of a yellow. You're yellow. I'm purple because I'm the girl. Okay, particular about that. I want a red. You're more of a yellow. You're yellow. I'm purple, cause I'm the girl. Okay. Here we go. Cheers.

Chin, chin. Chin. Yuck. Oh my God. Yuck. Actually that's nice. Actually I like it. I actually like that.

I actually like that. No, I like that. Go again. I actually like that. I didn't know what to expect. And you know when you're not- It's like fizzy, fizzy coffee. It's like, it's like a spider. You know when you have azy fizzy coffee. It's like it's like a spider.

You know when you have a spider adult spider, you get right. But without the ice cream ice cream would fix this ice cream would make it almost a Fogartel a Fogartel. What if it was like this is not bad. I say sweet for me. Oh, yeah. Look at it. Make a vodka shot in moderation. I'm this is gonna be espresso martini. Lathered. It's too sweet for me. Oh, yuck, look at it, it makes it rain.

Add a vodka shot in moderation, of course. This is gonna be espresso martini, but I'm at a vodka shot. And obviously not in the morning, in the workplace. No, and obviously in moderation, obviously. I would only have half, we'd share one between the three of us. I don't think it's bad. Look at the froth it does to the froth.

If you wanna try it, just get a lemonade from the vending machine and- Huck it in the coffee. I'd work on your your ratios though. That's too coffee-ish. Yeah. No, it's too too lemony. It's too coffee It's full. You're maybe this lemonade and don't add milk. I mean I wouldn't be Sad if it just slipped back into the annals of time again Well, just get your own quote. Can I get quoted on that? You wouldn't be sad if it slipped back into the annals of time again. To be honest. Well, I'll just get you on quote, can I get you quoted on that? You wouldn't be sad if it slipped back into the annals of time.

I'll just stick to my moccaccino and I'll be happy. And you'll just let that one slip back into the annals. After holidays, we're back for somebody's message that's been saying try tonic water. Now we might be talking. Now I'm talking. Now we might be talking. You've got a little bit of a Jenny Saquon with the herbs.

It does, yes. The Jenny Saquot. Okay. I mean, I little bit of a Jenny Saquand with the herbs. The jimmy saquatch. Okay. I mean, I won't try it, but thank you for your message. Yep. That's yuck. After holiday break, fact of the day is back next. What is the theme this week?

This actually has to do with what I bought you a bag of this morning. Grapefruits. He knows my love language, citrus. Get a grapefruit, get some grapefruit squeezed in this coffee lemonade abomination. We might take it back out of the annals of time. Bring it back out of the annals of time.

Take it out of the annals of time, put some citrus on it, put it back. Play ZM's Fleshborne in Haley. Oh, fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Food's named after other foods that they're nothing like week. Okay. Okay, very, have you got more than one lined up, my friend, because I'm worried for you. I got all five. Okay, good.

I'm away at the end of the week. I've already prepped fact of the day for you guys. Okay, we are in your capable hands. So yesterday, my daughter August and I went to the markets, darling. I just missed you, darling. I came later, darling. Darling, I mean you came to the markets later, darling.

I just picked up my favourite chilli oil. And I left. Oh, great chilli oil. I know who's cooking the wine. And we bought Fletcher a bag of grapefruit because a guy was selling grapefruit. Five dollars for a massive bag. I thought these were on your tree

and you just gave them to me. He's paid money. No, my grapefruit trees are not well sweetheart. Not well at all. I think you can't even afford Apple TV and YouTube Premium. You're in a recession. But you can't put a price on friendship. Friendships can't enter a recession.

That actually means more now, doesn't it? Yeah, that means, cause I was just like, oh yeah, more free, you know, great shows. Cause I'm bringing in free oranges and limes to her. Never let a friendship enter a recession. Oh, that's lovely. Put that on a T-shirt. That's lovely, yeah.

That's our say. Yeah, lovely. This recession ain't gonna get us down. And I think you can hear it. And you know what? Sometimes you can feel it. You can't feel it? You feel it deep down in the cockles of your heart.

Stop touching me. I... Yes, what's happening over there? I will not. It's too much. I want your bag of grapefruit. I'm allowed to grab you. It's tit for tat.

So, for this boy who loves a big grapefruit, and I'm like, careful, home, that'll mess with your pill. And other medications. Lots of medications mess with grapefruit. The pill famously. Now it was at that stage. Don't refer to me I'm not on it. That my daughter, you're not on the pill. I'm on the pill. She's doing that religious thing where you just hope for the best. It's called praying. It's called thoughts of prayer. It's called praying idiot. It's called prayer-ception. Pray Jesus. Don't let me get pregnant. And when August said to me, why are they called grapefruit? They taste nothing like grapes.

Do you know what August? Do you know what August? You have a profound brain. My guys, it must be so hard having kids constantly asking questions that you don't know the answer to. Nah, that's a question I want to know the answer to now though. Because it doesn't even look like a grape. Doesn't look like a grape? Doesn't taste like a grape. It's way bigger than a grape. Can't be a grape.

Imagine if grapes were that big though. Yum! Yum. That'd be yum. That's a fruit I could handle more. I reckon when grapes go too big, they're not as yum. Oh no, no, no. Well, we're saying they get bigger,

but they stay tasting good. Right. And imagine the wine production. Oh darling. Darling, darling, it's quadrupled. You'd just have three and it would fill a whole jug. It would fill a whole jug of wine. So I asked Chet JPT, as I ask at everything.

Oh my God, I can't be trusted. Grapefruit. He also asked at like, what are you up to today? Yeah, I always say thank you. I know, it's so funny. How are you? I don't. I don't give them any respect. I say do it.

Oh well, when the robots come. I'm just saying you're on your own, but I will put our friendship into a recession at that stage of my own survival. Grapefruit are called grapefruit because of the way they grow in clusters on trees, much like grapes do. Do they grow in clusters?

They grow in a little cluster. Now I have seen them growing and they do grow in a cluster. And the thing that why they call them grapefruit, no other citrus grows like it. Seen an orange? I've got an orange tree. I've got an orange tree. Full of oranges. Hey, I'm taking up the orange quota for the gang though.

Cause I'm bringing oranges and limes tomorrow. It's too much. I got too much. So you can't bring your oranges in. I've got tangela's. I've got tangela's. We've got some more citrus in the mix. Add them to the party. Add them to the party. I feel like I don't have anything to bring living in an apartment. You actually offer nothing. I could bring in my dust the tangela's. We can put some more citrus in the vats. Add them to the party, add them to the party. I feel like I don't have anything to bring living in an apartment.

You actually offer nothing. I could bring in my dust from my vacuum cleaner. I've got my own dust. What would you do with that? Well it's a lot of cat hair. What can you offer us? And you can quite often quilt it into a little hat. We could put it outside and let the birds make nests.

Lovely, okay cool. Okay well that's your contribution to the friendship gifting process. Bird fluff. Bird fluff. Perfect. The name was first used in the 18th century, apparently developed in the Caribbean.

This hybrid of a pomelo and a sweet orange. Okay. What's a pomelo? A pomelo is an old- Anderson. That's so stupid. I'm sorry, sorry, that's so stupid. I honestly think it might've been the joke of the show. You reckon?

Look at him, he's ravelling in the end. Because I was giggling. That's his Spanish name for grapefruit, it's pomelo. Well no, the Spanish are so wrong on that. Because how can it be? It's different. How can it be a hybrid of something if it isn't? It's a hybrid of a sweet, orange, orange and a pomelo.

I'm sorry, but it's what they call it Vaughan. You've embarrassed yourself here Fletch. This is why you don't do fact of the day. A pomelo is like green. Pomelo. It's an ancestor of the grapefruit, but it's different. It's different.

It's big and it's green and it's inside. You know how grapefruit, when you peel a grapefruit and you get into its segments, the segments are a bit girthier and chunkier and they're not like as picture perfect as an orange or a mandarin. So okay, so in some areas of Spain, they call it a pomelo,

but in other areas, they call it something else. Sorry, I'm just laughing at a text and can I interrupt? Yes, please. Has the person who named Ladyfingers ever tasted a lady's finger? No, Ladyfingers, I fingers, I call lady fingers. Because they look like lady fingers. Because they look like, they're smaller

and they look like a small lady's hand. I know, but it just made me laugh a lot. Has the person who named lady fingers ever actually tasted a lady's finger? Yeah, that's a visual aspect, isn't it? It's funny. And like the grapefruit, which is a visual aspect. Now, it was-

Because of the clusters. Yep, they grew in clusters, light grapes, so they were like, that looks like a grape. Grape refers to the cluster. Growth fruit, of course, because it's a cluster. Yeah, they grew in clusters, like grapes, so they were like, that looks like a grape. Grape refers to the cluster. Growth fruit, of course, because it's a fruit, and they needed a new name for this orange-pamello hybrid. Dumb name. So they called it a grapefruit.

They could have called it sour orange. Oh yeah. That makes so much, that, buh! It's right there. But it's not orange. Yeah, it's not. They couldn't call it it. Sour fruit. And then some of them pink. Sour fruit. Sour yellow. Sour yellow. Wait, is this bag. They couldn't cook it. Sour fruit. And then some of them pink. Sour fruit, sour yellow.

Sour yellow. Wait, is this bag of grapefruit that you spray free? Is it, no, is it pink or standard grapefruit? No, standard. Budget. He's in a recession. Oh dude, I'm in a recession. I'm in a personal recession.

He can't afford the pink one. That's better than nothing. It's better than nothing. I splashed out for spray free. I was gonna get you Roundup. I was gonna get for spray free. I was going to get you Roundup. I was going to get you Monsanto grapefruit. And I was like, no, I'll pay the extra dollar and get him spray free. You're talking old caged eggs over here.

Caged eggs Monsanto. Mr. Monsanto. Hey, it all tastes like eggs to me. I don't care where they come from. The chickens do. He likes big and sad. Yeah, he likes sad eggs. He likes the big and sad. Yeah, he likes a sad egg. He likes a taste of sad in his egg. I like eggs better than sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He likes to go crack, crack, and as he opens the egg cries. That's his perfect, yeah, yeah. It sounds like it's the sizzle when you're frying it, but it's not, it's like crack, crack. So today's fact of the day, in foods named after other foods that are nothing like weak, grapefruits are called grapefruits because they grow in a cluster on trees like grapes

do. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do If you said to anyone in Italy, they probably just wouldn't know where it is. Did they do that thing you always read about online? It's like, buy a one euro dilapidated Italian townhouse and do it up. No shop, no petrol and no access to clean water. No, they didn't do that, but they bought a cheap thing and renovated it. But anyway, in the small town, gossip does thrive, as it often does in small towns. You were updating us in the group chat during the break I was like

it's like soap on break. We got naughty priests. It's like a drama show. We got a naughty priest. Yeah. Came in smoking a durry in the cafe I was like excuse you. And then my mum said you think that's bad? Told me a story about the priest. I said my lord. Was he hot like the priest of Fleabag? No he was classic like big belly Italian. Yeah but I was like oh but I was like, mid-air. And I was like, oh my God. There's scandal, there's people sleeping around sharing pictures and stuff. Oh, that's cool. Anyway, so we were sharing the good gossipy stories

and then my mum's friend, cause she's got a little sort of gaggle. She's got her own sort of little Italian gaggle over there of expats and Italians, was telling me that she got married when she was very, very young. Now this woman is 67, 66, 67 ish. She got married very, very young when she was 19 years old, right, back in the day in the 70s or whatever. Summer of love. Summer of love and got married and then divorced him a year later when she was 20. Young love. Young love over so soon.

And then has not spoken to this gentleman for 40 to 50 years, right? Like a very, very long time. Thought pops into this woman's brain. I wonder what ever happened to insert name here. So she's scrolling on Facebook. She thought, oh, I know how to use the Facebook my kids taught me.

Look him up. And so I was having a little peruse and saying, oh, you know, who did you become after all these years? Next day, she was telling us, she woke up to so-and-so, ex-husband from 40 to 50 years ago. Of one year. Yeah, of one year when you were 19. So 50 times as long as past as they were married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Has accepted your friend request. Oh. And as- Oh, fat fingers, fat fingers. As I fat fingered what women in their 60s often do, finger slip, she doesn't know how. Sent this person a friend request, then has to address it. Has to send a message being like,

ha ha ha, don't know what happened here. Hope you're well. Oh. Haven't met you since I was 20 years old. Oh my God, unfriend't know what happened here. Hope you well. Haven't met you since I was 20 years old. I'm a grown woman now. Oh my God, unfriend, unfriend, block, block, block. Yeah, yeah, sent the message unfriend, unfriend, unfriend. But she said she was utterly mortified. We were absolutely roasting the hell out of her.

You know when you're stalking a friend and you're all like chatting and you say, I'll show you them and you hand someone your phone, you're always like, don't double tap. It's so, yeah, the care in which. Don't follow, don't do anything. Looking, but not with fingers. Are we looking?

I'll do the scroll. Look at him, no fingers. Look at no fingers. Oh my God, you'd be mortified. But we've all done it. I think I accidentally double tapped someone I was stalking and I was like, oh. And how quick are we gonna, how fast are we gonna?

I think if you're pretty quick and they don't notice a notification, you get away with it. If they're not online in that moment, we're fine, but there's something with the art and then you're like how embarrassing I'm so I'm I'm elbow deep in their Instagram and I can't get out of what just happened. Do you accidentally like an ex's photo from yep. This is what I want to know when were you caught lurking on a profile maybe it was Facebook like this maybe you were doing the classic

I'll search them up posters status. Carl Fletcher post. That's a boomer classic. That's a boomer classic. Or you did, you were looking through their Instagram and you went deep to go look at their ex and suddenly you've liked a photo and it's too late. Or you were searching for someone

and you accidentally friend requested. Yeah, because we're all guilty of it. We've all lurked, we've all had a little lurk on a profile. I wanna know when you were caught. We do wanna find out what exes are up to an old friend. Or like who new lovers were before we knew them. Yes. You know when you're mainly like,

I don't care, you've got a past, that's nothing to me. It's about us now and you're back, 10 years, who's that, who's that? Okay, text in 9696 if you've done this. You can give us a call, 0800 DALSATM. I can feel my bones chilling at this embarrassment already. We want to know when were you caught lurking on a profile? We want to know when you were caught lurking

on someone's profile. Someone has reminded us, you remember that Facebook glitch was it last year or the year before, where if you'd been looking at someone's profile, they'd started adding people? So someone messaged in, Facebook had that glitch last year, a member was adding people without actually when without you

actually adding them I was having a wee stalky of an old friend's page who I'm no longer friends with and it added her didn't it? Did it to a few people I'd stalked that day never again. Yes I remember this. How embarrassing. There are so many stories. I know and it's so cringe. So many horrible stories. I've been on a few dates with this girl. I gave my phone to my dad to show her, show my dad her Instagram.

He accidentally liked a photo from two years ago. My heart fell out through my ass. Your dad got quite deep in the page quite quickly, didn't he? When I took the phone back and sold it to her heart. This one's a lovely girl. I reckon he'd strolled back and he was like, that's the one, you want to show your dad the new,

the new Wahine there, you find the one that you think dad's gonna, you're gonna curate a little something for dad. Dad, dad. Dad, no. My older relative thought that they were having a mess, Oh no. were having a messenger conversation about the sex life with their new partner, but it was actually a conversation on their timeline. Oh no. We're having a messenger conversation about the sex life with their new partner, but it was actually a conversation on their timeline.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. Some guy I went to primary school with must have been stalking me years later. We were adults by this stage and I must have accidentally shared one of my profile photos to his Facebook page. Oh god, move to me. It was up for a few hours and when I realised they messaged him and he presented it to me, I got no idea how this even happened.

Don't you? Oh, I mean you just have to say that. What the hell man? I must have been hacked. Yeah, Ahlucin, you've done this but on purpose. Hello, good morning. Hello. Wait, what do you mean you do this on purpose? It was a strategic power move back in the day. I think it was like post COVID, I was talking to my friend about this QT pie and then I

was like, man, should I just scroll back a few years on the grid and do a purposeful like just to be like, hey, I'm looking at you. I'm looking and I'm liking. And does it work? Does this tactic work? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. tactic work? NURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Yeah, it's not happening. But it was air nerf. Air nerf! Listen, thanks. Keep your texts coming in.

Oh god, oh god, oh god! 9696, 0800, Diles ZM, when were you caught lurking on a profile? Play ZM's Flashpoint in Hayley. George, have you ever got caught lurking on someone's profile? No, but I lurk a lot. I just check my activity to make sure I haven't been caught. Because there's nothing worse than that feeling As we've seen and heard Oh my god

Wait, wait, wait, George can we have a little slither of your show? There's too many good messages Yeah, oh, Delvin you guys have been off for a couple weeks so get into it So many messages coming in Don't ring me because my kids are in the car Now that's a good start That's a good start I did jury duty recently and the detective on the case who was in court was fine as hell so I stalked his Instagram and accidentally liked an old photo and quickly unliked it but the next day he

kept looking at me and after court he was walking to his car and I walked past to go to the train and he said did you have a good stalk and offered me a ride. Oh my god that's so hot. That's a book eh Carwin. That's a book. Oh god it is a book. That's the start of a book. That's a smart book. This is the one that made me scream. It's just that accidentally shared a screenshot of my husband's ex-girlfriend's Instagram page on my story. Oh no no it was like 10 years ago, but who are you? Is she prettier than me? Positive story, worked for me, a guy I hadn't seen in years popped up on my radar

when I was freshly single, liked a few of his Instagram posts, and then thought, what the hell? Clipped follow, we started chatting, been together four years. Oh, okay, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute. Little lurk, little lurk. That's cute.

I feel like I wanna throw my phone away, like there's something in me that's become very anxious. What is the right amount of like posts likes? Three? If you're trying to flirt with someone on Instagram? Three, three, three. And not too deep. Wait, but that's what the bot does.

Isn't it three when people are trying to get followers? Oh, so you reckon four? I reckon you need to go like, but you've gotta do it to the right photos, right? You can't just do a minging one and be like, like, cause you clearly don't. You got to go into the hot flirty ones. But not go back too far.

I think you've got to, 2020, like 2014 or something. You have to like the thirstiest ones too, so your intentions are clear. Not just like Christmas with the whanau. You know what I mean? Like, don't like that one. Or the Eiffel Tower.

Just like beautiful day at the beach. I'm like, it is a beautiful day at the beach. And I'ma like him. Some more messages in. This lurking happens a lot in HR or landlords. Oh yeah, landlords, that would be a good, you kind of look at the person that is gonna be living on your property.

Yeah, but then you accidentally click her. And you're like, who's that? And you're like, that's the woman we interviewed for the house with. She's looking at me sort of passed out on the floor at a uni party from 10 years ago. Yeah but that's good I don't want that vomiting on the carpet. Because the rug doctor is very acidic. Vom? Theorist. Very acidic. Can I just say before we wrap up the show we have had another message. I'm Emma whose fave animal is a British short hair cat. I would just like to let Fletch know that yesterday I had adopted a tabby from the SPCA, not all heroes wear capes.

Thank you for your message. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your message. From another cat rescuer. Someone also, earlier in the show, some frequently asked questions. What is butter chicken nuggets?

Yes. I think we should, at the end of the show, if we're not doing an HR wrap up, we'll do the sort of rogue texts that come in. A lot of people ask questions, we're not talking about. Yeah, deal, we'll do the sort of rogue texts that come in. A lot of people ask questions we're not talking about. Yeah, deal with some questions and we kind of move on and we don't deal with them. We dealt a lot with butter chicken nuggets

in the past on the show. Yes, but we have. There must be new listeners and we're here to, you know, accommodate them as much as the old favourites. Yes. The old hags we've got hanging on for year after year. We love them, we love Z-Dogs. Also the old hags that clearly don't listen enough like me.

So butter chicken nuggets. Do you not know what butter chicken nuggets are? Guys, I love you. We love you. Also the old hags that clearly don't listen enough like me. So butter chicken nuggets. Do you not know what butter chicken nuggets are? I don't, guys, I don't. Do you just? Keep being. This is our brand. I'm here every day. Literally, I'll tell you what, the title is the entire thing.

Wait, I thought it was almond gold. So what's that now? Pick one. You make chicken nuggets. You go to the Indian place at the food court or wherever you just get sauce. You just want the sauce. Don't put in your dry old chicken. Yeah, don't get your dry old chicken. Yeah, I don't know when you dry butter chicken. It's taking up too much real sauce. You just want the sauce. Don't put in your dry old chicken. Yeah, don't get your dry old chicken.

Yeah, don't want your dry butter chicken. It's taking up too much real estate. I just want the creamy sauce. If you're doing this out and about, you would go to the, in a food court, you'd go to the Indian takeaways and you'd just get one of those plastic containers of butter chicken and then you go to NONOLD's

and you say, can I have some nuggies? And then you just go, and chuck the nuggies in the sauce. Or do you let them, because I just, I just dip. As just go and chuck the nuggies in the sauce. And you eat them. Cause I just dip. You're using it as a dipping sauce. I dip cause then you lose the joy of the batter. He's gonna lose the batter. No, I'm not gonna lose the batter.

I'm not gonna lose the batter. You don't wanna see what nuggets look like. Wait, can we add Thai into this? Can we go get a roti and then wrap it in Thai? Can I have your mic? What the hell is that? Don't bring your energy in here. We're not going out for Indian, Georgia.

We're just having butter chicken nuggets. No, it's just a source. We're doing it to pair Thai. I also don't think Thai have roti cornered. I don't think that's a... No, it's Malaysian. It's Malaysian. Wait, but I always get Thai with my... I get a roti with my Thai. Oh, you've got a cross-pollination of South East Asian.

I've sort of brought it in themselves. It's very much my my God. Honestly, we apologise that next is Georgia. She's from Christchurch. This is why she doesn't know her tie from her Indian. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10

and one of us wasn't. Or who was that, which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one.

Oh yeah, don't bother. Yeah, no don't. Don't bother. Play ZM's Fletch One in Hayley.