ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - July 24th 2025

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Bathroom camping How to become your cafe's favourite SLP - Have you ever been ghosted by a friend? Woman found ashes at the thrift Top 6 Things your AI friend can't do Youth Translation-Trisha Paytas Borat's got hot Hayley and the curtain lady What was your childhood bribery? Dallas Cowboys Faith Ward Fletch's new passport pic Fact of the Day What was the reason for the immediate dump  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network This is the flesh one and Haley's big pod brought to you by chemist warehouse the biggest brands at the lowest prices Thank you Brian of that sad news about losing the tap water competition to Australia man having come back from Europe Recently and just having that first cold pipe cup of water from the tap. Oh my God, New Zealand Water rules. Good stuff.

Just gonna have a sip now. Australia? No. Just you and me today, Fletchie. Just disgusting. Yeah, Vaughan's away today. Vaughan is away today and tomorrow. Today and tomorrow.

So just ask. You'll be doing the top six, I believe. I will, and I think this is quite alarming, actually. Alarming news. Out of New Zealand, AI chatbots replacing friends for young people. A lot of them turning for friendship and counselling advice, guidance.

Counselling, friendship, guidance, just company. Sad, really, isn't it? It is a little bit. Like what's the future going to be like? I know but I've got the top six things that your AI friend can't do. I'm encouraging people to get back to human contact. Next on the show though, would we say this is a trend? Yeah maybe.

Maybe a trend. Don't you do this? Yeah. Well, there is a new term that has been coined by Gen Z, but, you know, I think whatever generation you are, people have done this. For decades. For decades. A long time. It is. It's bathroom camping, which is basically hanging out in a bathroom.

It can be at a party or at a restaurant or a event. A restaurant hanging out in the bathroom? Do you know what I mean? If you're at like a dinner and you're like... If you're too overwhelmed. Yeah, you just need a little break. But also a lot of Gen Z's are doing this at home on their own. Have a listen to this. By Gen Z. And that is bathroom camping.

It's referring to those moments you're overstimulated or you need some sort of emotional break and you go hide in the toilet. Here's the twist, millennials and boomers have weighed in saying it's something they've been doing for decades. Yeah, I do this, I've been doing this recently because I've got heated tiles in my bathroom. What, and it's better than putting a heater on.

The last couple of nights I've been hanging out in my bathroom a lot, I've decided to tear my house apart and do a deep clean. But what I've done is I've done all different rooms at once. Is this related to the menstruitis? Yeah, I think it's menstruitis. We're just tapering off now and so I've lost interest in the cleaning.

But I did that thing, I emptied all of my drawers and I've like dumped all of my bathroom. Cause it's, I just have too many toiletries. Yeah, right. And it's just junk and it's just stuff I'm not using anymore. But now it's all on the floor and then I sit on the floor and I hang out for a bit.

So you can do bathroom camping in your own. Well, that's kind of a cleaning extension. Yeah I know, but I get it because a lot of people have shared flats as well, like the lounge is so peopled and everyone's around, not a safe space. Whereas the bathroom, you close the door everyone is seeing them doing a poopy-woopy. And then if you're also sharing a place with your partner, the bedroom might not be. So you go to the bathroom. Yeah exactly. But also like if there's only one bathroom in be so you go to the bathroom. Yeah exactly.

But also like if there's only one bathroom in the flat or in the house. And then it was knock in. I've already got one bathroom in my house so if I'm bathroom camping, shit out of luck for anyone else that's there. But mine at the moment is, I mean it was one degree this morning. My house is cold as well, like it's a very cold house if you don't have the heat going. And so it was so cold this morning that I immediately go into the bathroom with these heated tiles.

Yeah it's a cold start around the country this morning. I'm just looking now, Christchurch minus three at the moment. It's five in Wellington, four in Auckland, minus one in Hamilton. Minus one. Coldest place in New Zealand right now, Twizzle, minus 6.8. Do you know what's crazy? I've been seeing Twizzle this whole time. It's nuts Twizzle. Is it Twizzle, minus 6.8. Do you know what's crazy? I've been saying Twizzle this whole time. It's not Twizzle. Is it Twizzle? Also how can Christchurch be minus 3 but

the hottest suburb is in the eastern suburbs of Christchurch, 9.2. That's the warmest place in the country. Someone's left a heater next to the MetService thermostat right? Someone's got their spa pool lid open next to it and it's heating it up and giving skew-with results. Skew-with. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. This is a great list because we work opposite a cafe and often we'll get coffees.

On many cafes around us. We are surrounded by cafes. We're in a cafe hub of sorts. But we'll often get coffees, sometimes we'll rock a brioche or they've got little halloumi sliders that I'm considering. Sometimes some eggs after the show. We're after work, we'll go get eggs, but we always order the same coffee. We've got the

vagina chino over here. Excuse me, it's a moccaccino. It's a vagina chino. And it's widely accepted as being a masculine drink. It's not. They always come over and they're like, where's the little baby at this table? We're like, there he is. Says the girl with the iced oat milk latte. Yes.

And Vaughan will get the iced Americano. This is what we do. Every time. Every single time. And sometimes we send producer Carwin over as a, why are you frowning? Sometimes. Every day to second day.

Carwin makes us, she doesn't like this, but she collects our points. Oh yeah, she scans it. How much do I have? Last time I checked it was lots. She gets so many free coffees out of this. Free brekkies and free coffees. But I don't even use it. I literally said this to them the other day. I was like, I should probably use this at some point.

How much have you got on your arm? It's like a loyalty thing. It's a very slow app actually. $18.01. You owe us that. That's a free lunch, that's a free breakfast. That's free coffees for us. We bought you those. No because that's my fee for walking over there in the cold. That's true. No the fee is because sometimes I'll shout Shannon a brioche. That's a Shannon fee for doing nothing. I sit here and I get a brioche and it's a great

deal. I mean I might take a slider today. Shall we get sliders? Do you think though that you are the cafe's favourite, one of the faves? I will say when I walk in they instantly start making my coffee. Yeah, oh there you go. We have some little bands. It's good when you go somewhere and you're a regular and they know your order. I think we do well with them. But it's also a little sad if it's a food place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

They're smiling at you because you are paying the rent for that building. Yeah. Single-handedly we are. Okay, so there is a... This is out of America, but I think we could use these tips. How to become your favourite cafe's favourite customer. And this is information collected from people who run cafes. Okay.

Okay. Dine regularly at quieter times. Because then they're going to see you, they're able to connect with you. Okay. They're not going to be inundated with customers customers and stress and you're just adding to their stress. You come in and they're like, yeah baby, I'll get you a little baby chino. Learn their names.

Go. Yeah, no. I'd be terrible working, if I ran a cafe, because I'm really bad with names great with faces I'm so bad. Always remember a face. Did I tell you that I introduced myself to my dentist of two years yesterday? He's like, yeah, I remember. She. Oh wow. Chauvinist pig. Women can be doctors.

Women can be dentists. Yeah they can. Yeah, I did I was so embarrassed. Do you know what threw me? She came into the waiting room and she shook my hand. Oh, okay. So I was like, we're meeting. Yeah, for the first time. Nice to meet you. She was like, no, no, we've met before. And I said, yeah, boy, it was so embarrassing. Because some baristas and people that run cafes are so good with names, because they'll ask for your name when you give you coffee. And when you come back, they remember and you're like, oh, that's good. Do you know if our lovely cafe crossroad is listening I don't know a single one of your names and they know ours because we

say Regina. I don't reckon one of them is Regina. One of them is Regina. I don't think so. I reckon there's a Katie. Learn. Yeah but some of them are ethnically ambiguous as well I don't think that's Katie. Okay you don't think so okay. One of the chefs is hot. One of the chefs does the best omelette. So we just call her omelette chef. Yeah. And then there's hot chef. And then there's coffee girl. Yeah. And then there's brown coffee girl. And then there's white coffee.

I mean, I just don't know anyone else. Okay, we're going to learn names. Learn names. Okay, be flexible and forgiving. I'd say we're good at this. We never like, where's my coffee? We'll say it to ourselves outside being like, gosh, it's's taking a long time we've got a meeting in 30 minutes but don't be that regular who comes in is like where's this where's this now do something nice for them oh okay they put food in our puku they give us

coffee to energize us what do we do for them yeah I don't know it's a bit weird though it's like a service in a business isn't it it's not, what do you mean to take them a box of chocolates at Christmas? They say nothing, yeah, but they say nothing particularly grand, just a nice gesture. Shout them a coffee. We get free coffees anyway, get a grip. Yeah. Some of our regulars bring in little gifts at Christmas time they've said. Oh, okay. And then they become friends. Oh, I saw this, I thought of you. That's a line too far. And the last one is remember, it's still a business. Don't take the purse. Don't come in like

you're suddenly they treat you like a regular. You come and let you own the joint. Yeah. You're setting up for five hours and ordering one coffee. Oh yeah you're working there and only drinking one. And don't be snapping your fingers. Don't go in and be like the usual. Yeah. Don't be that person. No. I think we took a few of these boxes but I think what we need to do is we need to learn names. We need to buy them presents. And a gift, a gift.

We're going to get them gifts. Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly silly silly that the silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today, silly little pole, have you ever been ghosted by a friend? Yay or nay? Some people did take this as meaning

people have died on them. Yeah, did your friend become a ghost? And they had become a ghost, like Casper or something. Just wanna say that's not what we meant. So our studies found that 38.6% of people have been ghosted by a friend. Mm-hmm.

I answered yes. It's a lot. I answered yes, I don't think it was a ghosting, but it was a very hard taper off. Yes, I've- And they've never talked again and you're like, I've done that. Yeah, when you were like-

But I've never, I mean you drift apart from friends, that happens. No, but that's different. I think my experience was a very good friendship with someone and then suddenly they just kinda went quiet, disappeared, didn't care about you anymore and then, you know. Yeah.

Maybe like a year or two later will message you and be like, hey what's up? And you're like, no, too late. No, too late. Yeah, you're too late. I mean it's hard to deal with if you are on the receiving end of the ghosting. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's. You're questioning if you are on the receiving end of the ghosting.

Yeah, absolutely. Because it's- Questioning why, what happened? Yeah, like what did I do? And they've ghosted you so they don't tell you why. I mean, you should be able to figure it out. Yeah, I know you should be able to. But sometimes you can't.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's them though. Have you been ghosted by a friend? 29% of people said no. 71% of our listeners said yes. Okay, that's like a lot more than this study. Yeah, okay. Sam Robbins, I did first and last name.

It was quite full, oh well, it's all right. One of our listeners, Sam, said, got a new set of mates and thought he was too good for our original friends. Kind of sad, but his loss, I agree, often, your loss. Yeah, that's how you've got to look at it, right? Yeah I agree often your loss. Yeah that's how you've got to look at it right? Yeah absolutely your loss. Yeah. Trip D says made friends on a train trip, messaged the two sisters for over two years, arranged to meet them when I was in their hometown. Ghosted. Damn man. What?

Oh so you're like traveling around oh my god I'm gonna be there. It is wild though when you're traveling and you meet people and you add them on socials and this was a blast. And then you're never gonna see that person again ever. No because the next time you visit a different country you're gonna make new friends. Yeah exactly. Michael said ghosting is fine I do it they do it it's all good. What are you laughing at? I just had a message from a friend who ghosted some friends. Oh really? Great, that's for off air. Steph says, yes, over 15 years ago,

I still dream about them ignoring me. Steph, you gotta let it go. Their loss. Why are you laughing so much? Now I'm curious. Turn the lights off. I'll tell you after. Okay.

I hate waiting for gossip. Tanya said, I didn't invite her to my destination wedding as it was gonna be tiny, mainly family, God wedding. Wedding guests will cause drama. It's gonna be tiny, family mainly. And she had just moved to Australia and didn't wanna put her out financially. She blocked me and never spoke to me again.

See, that's not a friend worth keeping, Tanya. No, it's not, no. Like if that's the kind of thing that's important to them. Yeah. Ugh, get a personality. Jack said, because Caleb was a dick." Ha ha ha ha. Caleb, wow, what happened between Jack and Caleb?

Caleb. I'm gonna need to know what happened. Caleb, what'd you do to Jack? He's still cut up. Todd said, I said they looked nice in a photo and she replied saying, nah, I think I look like crap. I replied saying, all right, whatever you say then. I didn't hear from them for over a year

The then they unfriended me on Facebook and Instagram. I messaged and asked what happened? Why do we stop talking? She said I stopped talking to you because you said I look like crap No, they said that you looked you said they looked nice. They said they look like crap. Yeah. No, okay Okay, I'm sorry about that talk. Oh Lee says yes because she believed rumors I was sleeping with her husband. So when she got ghosted, when she ghosted me, I thought, well, F this, if she already thinks it,

may as well. Oh! Okay. Why? Well, yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Oh, oh, anonymous said, I've been the ghoster. Why? Got married and had kids and this friend continues to make me feel bad about it since she's single.

Oh yeah, like you got boring. Oh yeah, you just end up. I get your own joy. Yeah, no. Go and get, find some single friends have fun with. Yeah, couldn't deal with more mental load of a friend breakup. So, boo. It is life over though, isn't it?

Ash says, yes, mock, pardon? What? It really does put a sort of kibosh on fun, doesn't it? It really does, yeah. You never see them again. I'm happy for my friends who get married and have kids. But you never see them again. But we're not the same.

And you need to accept that, I accept it. Ash says finally, yep, multiple, am I the problem? Yes, I think if it happens once, it's not you. Screw them. But if it keeps happening to you, I think you've got to start looking in the mirror. It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's not you. Screw them. But if it keeps happening to you, I think you've got to start looking in the mirror. It's me, hi, I'm the problem at today. So, oh my god I'm doing my own summary. We asked you, have you been ghosted by a friend?

71% of you said yes you have. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. I could absolutely, absolutely see something like this happening to Mae because I'm so drawn to nice trinkets and ceramics at op shops. And just crap. Other people call it crap. Crap, riffraff, junk or future family heirlooms for me.

Right. But there is a video doing the rounds at the moment of a woman who went into a thrift store. She purchased a small sort of ceramic jar with a lid. She was like, this is so cute. And I agree, it's cute. She pried the jar open and that's when she made a realisation. Is that a bag of dirt? Oh my God.

Is that ashes? I think that's somebody's ashes. I'm literally about to start crying. At least now I have a cute new little dish. I don't know if I should keep it. Is that weird to keep it? Or should I put the ashes back in? It is weird to keep it.

It's weird to keep it. What she's contemplating throwing the ashes out, washing it, and then just keeping it as a container. And it's so inside, it's like this little sort of dish like this, and then she gets the lid off and it comes off like that. Gurlies, you've seen this, eh, producer Gurlies? Yes.

It's so, it's the moment, it took us so long when you watch the video, prize the lid open, it comes open, she pulls out this bag, like what's that and everyone watching is like ashes. And I will say for any skeptics, when you do watch the video, she vlogs her whole thrifting shop Finds it and it does seem very legitimate that she does this haul and she's unboxing everything she got. It's like this is weird

It's super glued gets us chisel and it's like Really should have been the red flag right like I'm not picking up At the top of the video she's like, oh my God, there's something in there. The curiosity in me. Yeah, would be like, oh, maybe it's jewellery and money. Yeah, could be like some kind of little fun thing. Why would it be glued then? Why would it be glued?

Because it's ashes. And why would there be dirt in it? And also dirt and ashes are very different. And when you see the ashes, you know they're ashes. Because, guys. You can see the little bits of bone. Yes. Okay, so. You can see the little bits of bone. Yes. Okay, so listen, I was recently staying

at a friend of a friend's house when I was in Italy, right? And it's just sort of got stuff around, you know, it's just a very simple apartment. Oh crap. Yeah, sort of stuff that I like. In the kitchen shelves. And I was there with my friend, and we were in the kitchen and she was like,

what's that? And there was this little plastic, old sort of spice jar. Yeah. And it had a masking tape on it and it said mum? Wait, wait. Like an old, like it used to have basil in it and now it's being repurposed? No, like a twist, like you'd find honey in. Do you know what I mean? Like those kind of plastic twist top honey things. Like, if I die and I got cremated, give me a better urn.

I'd give you a Milo tin. And I would accept that, thank you, that's actually really nice. I'd give you a Makona Haftamere. Okay, thank you, but make sure it's not caramel. You can use my caramel one, just take the regular one. That would be a lovely honour. This would actually be the great size for a new one. Actually, this is Ash's size.

So that was like the size of it though, it's more normal than a mccona jar. And then me and my friend were like, and I untwisted it. Hailey! I could be like this. Hi Hailey. Hi Hailey, we're just going for a little drive. I was putting that, bye Hayley. Oh yeah, it's got a nice click. I could take you with me.

Well I just thought maybe it was a spice mix, a custom spice mix. No you didn't. It had mum on it. We opened it and yeah you see little white fragments and you're like that's the bone that doesn't quite break down. Do you think it's a gag? Like they knew you were coming to stay and they just like planted it to see what you did?

Not that kind of woman. Oh. Yeah. She's very serious. Now with this, oh anyway, we put it back and we did sing a little song, a little blessing. Oh, that's right. Yeah, okay.

But isn't there a theory going around online at the moment to do with Joaquin Phoenix? Yeah, so he did it in a pot. Well, it's not a theory, right? No, not a theory going around online at the moment to do with Joaquin Phoenix? Yeah, so he did a podcast a couple of days ago. And he's like, sorry, done a podcast a couple of days ago. And I haven't seen all of the clip, but he talks about his dad passing and he goes, do you know what's actually a fun fact about that? My sister lost his ashes. We're just moving?

I don't know, he doesn't explain, but he says, yeah, every couple months, show me through the group chat and be like, anyone found dad yet? Oh, God. I kind of like that, Dad's missing. So everyone's like, we found him. He was in the thrift store. He's like, it's very apt for my dad, like he's playing a last joke on us. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to do a gag death. Right? While I'm getting buried. Are you? You all at the marae. Oh, okay, yeah. Typically don't get cremated. So, biff me in the hole, but I wanna do,

you know like that guy who did the little voice recording. Help, stop, I'm not dead. You know, in the coffin, and that's funny, that's humour. Do you know what I mean? Go out how I sort of live my life, making people laugh and bringing joy to the masses. LAUGHS See? Laughter, laughter.

Yeah, laughter. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley group chat, this is the top six. Well, Vaughan is away for the next couple of days, so it's just me and Fletchy and Shannon and Carwanal. And you're taking responsibility of the top six. I am and and you know usually a humorous moment of the show but the article it's based

on is for me I'm like eww. It's sad. It is so apparently according to Norton which is like you know the online security company, 23% of young New Zealand kids are replacing friends with AI chat bots. Talking online, chatting online, health and wellbeing. I mean, I don't know. We've talked a bit about online chat GPT therapy, and you're like, it's better than nothing.

Yeah, true, but it's not gonna replace actual friendships. Actual friendships we used to frolic around in the fields. And fun and you know and all the learning and I know you just learn so much in the physical things that your friends can give you so I've got the top six things that your AI chatbot pal can't do that your real friend can. Okay. Number six on the list, you can't kiss them just to figure out if you might be gay. You know what I mean?

Is this based on experiences list? Oh, this list is heavily based on experience. Okay. Yeah, you can't kiss them just to figure out if you might be gay. Okay. You can't do it with your AI chatbot friend. No, exactly.

I mean, they could provide you with some links that you could watch. They could. But it's not the same. But they tend to also stay away from that kind of stuff. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things your AI friend can't do that your real human friend can. They can't split the G with you on St. Patty's Day.

They're not good. Yeah. It's not that they can't drink it, they just always go too far. Yeah. You know what I mean? Number four on the list the top six things that your AI friend can't do that your real friend can. They can't tickle your arm in exchange for you tickling their arm. Do boys used to do that? No

they didn't. Used to say, did you girls used to do that? Arm tickles with your pals? Right and you'd be like you do five minutes and then like a little timer would go off, like my turn. Yeah it would be as soon as you'd get new acrylics. Oh! Because that was when I like was at the age of getting acrylics. No, guys never did that. Didn't do little tickles? No, we didn't do little tickles. Oh my god, you're missing out.

Yeah, we really did. We really missed out. Maybe you and Vaughan on Monday do little tickles. I do love little tickles. We'll do little tickles. I do love little tickles. Might want the same when you do it. We could do a train.

No, what you do is you sit on your hand and make it numb. That's what we used to do when we were younger. That's pretty good. And then tickle yourself with your numb hand. Well, that was the whole thing. You'd sit on your hands until they it numb. That's what we used to do when we were younger. That's pretty good, and then took yourself with your numb hand. Well, that was the whole thing. You'd sit on your hands until they were numb and then you'd hold your boobies. I've heard that in a different context.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, great boobs. Wow, okay. That's East Auckland for you, right there. Okay, number three on the list of the top six things that your AI friend can't do that your real friend can. You then can't practise kissing with him once you've decided that you're not gay but you want to practice for when you

are going to kiss someone of the opposite sex. Not gay though, we've established that with the first kisses but it was just like now that we know we're not gay there's no risk to it so we can just practice for when I'm gonna kiss a boy. Again is this based on actual... Not at all. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six things that your AI friend can't do that your real friend can, they can't hold your hair back when you've had having spewies after trying rum for the first time. Your dad had to pick you up off of Lambton Quay. They can't.

They can't do that. Can't do that. And number one on the list of the top six things that your AI friend can't do that your real friend can. They can't kiss you just but like in a fun drunk way, not in a gay way. Right. Again, is this based on? No, no, but you do know what I mean. They can't, you can't just keep kissing them for years and being like, it's not gay way. Right, again is this based on? No, no, but you do know what I mean? You can't just keep kissing them for years and being like, it's not gay though. We're just drunk

and having fun. Right, okay. You know what I mean? I'm definitely not gay. Definitely not later in life going to be like, reckon I'm a bit gay. Yeah. That's today's top six. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. I don't need an excuse to think about Aquaman, do I? Jason, that's my boy. But when I read a headline about Aquaman this morning and then I opened it, it was not what I expected. Instead, there was that Trisha Paytas celebrity, internet celebrity woman on there.

I can't figure it out. So I'm employing Shannon and Karwan to explain why Trisha has anything to do with Aquaman. And Jason Momoa is not involved at all. And Jason Momoa would actually, he would like to distance himself from the story. Well actually she has met him before. They have photos together. So have I, even multiple times. So have I multiple times. So like by association a little bit. No, so Trisha Paytas has just had her third child, a little boy.

Just give us a who is she? Trisha Paytas is, I guess you would just say an internet celebrity because she's not. We wouldn't say she's an intellect. No, I'm being mean. She does have the world record for the fastest reading. Yes. Oh my God, you've been a fastest what? Reading.

She was on America's Got Talent. Yeah. No. So that's not what she's known for. She's known for, honestly, having mental breakdowns and crying on her kitchen floor. And I reckon she's known for that time. She was on the podcast and she was talking

and the host was like, have you seen that clip? And she's like, yeah. So I was just like going to the dairy and he's like, why do you keep doing that? Doing one. He's like that. She is like, if you're on the internet, you've probably seen her in some capacity. She's been on every reality show. Like she's just around and amazing.

And we love her. And it has been for years. Yeah, totally. Like an OG years. Totally. OG. Like an OG YouTuber. YouTube, yeah. And so she has now three children.

Her first two are called Malibu Barbie and Elvis. She loves a movie based name. And isn't it also- She did not call her kid Aquaman. Wait, isn't it Malibu Barbie and Elvis Presley? Isn't that the- And she's a girl. Elvis is a little girl.

Elvis is a little girl. Yeah. And the third baby is Aquaman. Yeah. So her husband- That's wild. Her husband Moses is like really into water and stuff. So it's actually Aquaman Moses.

Of course he is Moses, he loves the water. Aquaman Moses. But like, I have this theory, to be honest, that these aren't actually their real legal names. Totally. And this is just her way of like having her children on the internet until they're old enough to decide if they want their real names on the internet because it's pretty out there. Yeah, actually that's a brilliant theory.

Because like Malibu Barbie, sure, people are called Barbie. Elvis, that is a name. Yeah. Aquaman's a bit next level, isn't it? One word. Aquaman is a title. Yeah, but then you don't know with these, it's like Elon Musk calling his kids like, I don't know, X1, zero, five, five.

Well, are you ready for my tin foil hat? Okay, I'm ready. Oh, okay, here we go. So, the whole thing with Trisha that we here in the producers booth are obsessed with is the reincarnation theory. Stay with me, F'm ready. Oh, okay, here we go. So, the whole thing with Trisha that we here in the producers booth are obsessed with is the reincarnation theory. Stay with me, Fletch. Oh god, it's bloody Sean Benet Ramsey. I'm glazed over.

This is more real. This is one of the- We should unplug the internet. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. This is one of the biggest conspiracy theories. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait was born same day the Pope died and we were all like she's got a magical womb she's killing off. She's having a quirk if Elvis was born when the Pope died that wasn't that long ago. Now she's got another one. Then yesterday hello Aquaman goodbye Ozzy Osborne. But people die every day also. Those are three big deaths. How cool though, that we've got the queen, the pope, and Ozzy Osbourne all in the same house now. All reincarnated. What a handful.

What a bloody nightmare situation there. I don't know who's gonna be worse. Trisha has spoken on this. She's like, I don't know what's happening, but I've got a magical womb. Like in a magical womb. But welcome back Ozzy. It's good to womb. Yeah. But welcome back, Aussie. It's good to have you back.

That theory, I don't know. Carwin's theory about them being fake names are probably more on board with. Yeah, totally. Play ZM's Fletchbone and Hayley. Also shout out to the top text in this, Justin now driving around the Bible Belt in Tauranga, blasting that and saying,

I'm proud to be a gay man. Yas ZM. Yas. Yas, yas. Well, I'll tell you what, if you are a gay man, you're gonna love this. This is weird. Okay, so Fletch and I this morning, show planned.

We're sitting in the corner, and I'm scrolling Instagram as I want to do. Now I follow none other than Sasha Baron Cohen. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow He's got really jacked. Utterly ripped and he debuted this in Men's Fitness UK. We're gonna put up a photo, if you can't be bothered Googling it on our socials, of this rig. And do you know what makes me think? Hit it.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, he's very nice. I like a lot. This is one hundred, it's for a movie, right? The movie role? It's for a Marvel film in his new role, Mephisto, in Ironheart. No idea what I'm talking about. If Vaughan was here, he'd be able to sort of,

you know, tell us what that is. But, everyone was like, this isn't real. Like, this, it looks like AI. Yeah, but it's not. And he said, no, I am egotistical enough to do this. And he's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tall and so now I'm like, yeah. He's always been quite thin, hasn't he? Quite slim and tall. Yes, very slim and not like gangly, but definitely not jacked.

Like this guy's been eating. He's 53 years old. And like ripped as anything. As, do you know what? If you go on our socials, you're gonna see it and it's gonna make you say. Wowowow, he's very nice. This is unreal.

Like head to toe, like what's... It's just weird. And then they've tanned them all up. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah they have. And they've oiled them all up. Do you know what this screams? Revenge body slash divorce.

Divorce Isla Fisher, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they, why did they divorce? Was there a cheating thing? No. I don't know. Nah. But it's been, that was a couple of years ago.

Yeah, well this would take a couple of years. And he said, no, Ozempic. He's not doing that. Well, it wasn't like he was. Oh no, no, sorry, he did. This is what he said. Okay, he said, this is not AI. I really am egotistical enough to do this.

Right. He wrote on his Instagram stories. Some celebrities use Ozempic, some use private chefs, other use personal trainers, I did all three. Oh wow, so he did, but he wasn't like... He said, hard launching my midlife crisis. How does someone like that? I mean, obviously celebrity and you've got money,

so you just buy Ozempic, but hey, I wouldn't have even thought he was even overweight. Now, but he says he's just replacing beer with protein shakes. I mean, we haven't seen him for a few years. Probably just had a bit of a gut. Wanted to fast track the process. They announced their split in April, 2023.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher, who's Australian. And their divorce was finalized in June last month. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, Isla Fisher is beautiful. Yeah. Stunning. But this would hurt. Do you know what I mean? It stunning, but this would hurt. Do you know what I mean? Regardless.

It would hurt. I'd be like, why can't I get to have a play with that body? Even if you chose to end the marriage, and you chose to leave, that would hurt. You would look at that and be like, oh God, why didn't you do that when we were together? Yeah. And I could have hopped on.

Yeah, hopped on. Guys, Borat's hot now, it's confusing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, he's a burn-ass. Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley. So I'm finally addressing the fact that my house doesn't have curtains. The front two windows of my house have curtains. The rest of it completely open and in my bedroom a torn-up warehouse sheet. Are you addressing this now because it's currently so cold

that you're like, oh curtains. Curtains, you forget about the warmth that they bring. My house is freezing and it's like newly renovated. You need soft furnishings. Classic New Zealand day. Oh it's so cold, it is so cold. Just renovated the house, spent untold amounts of money on it

and still cold. Insulated with the best of the best. It's freezing, it's freezing. Anyway so yeah. Why is that? Cause you go to Europe in winter and like, they don't even have haters inside, it's just not cold. It's just not cold, they just built.

I mean they do have haters but you don't need them a lot of the time. Is it the brick or the stone? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Real thick, maybe real thick. Fuck! With two Cs. Now, do you know the main reason is that my parents,

when they come back from Europe, they're gonna be staying with me for a while, and in that room, it's sunlight, sunlight, and there's no curtains. And my mum very kindly was like, love a curtain. I love a curtain. Okay. So I got in touch with Harvey Furnishings actually,

who I've worked with before, to come over and give me a quote and a measure and that kind of stuff. Bring some fabric samples around. So- I've done this before and all the nice fabric, I didn't use this one, another company, I forget the name, but all the nice fabrics,

all the nice curtains are more expensive. Crazy, eh? All the- And the ones that are real cheap feeling, are real cheap. But the nice ones, like the linen curtains, are real expensive. Oh, you know me, I looked at linen.

They get ya. I know, anyway, so this lovely lady comes over and I haven't met her before within the company, I don't, first time meeting. And I'll say she's a woman, she gave me a real like high class energy. Do you know what I mean? Like I could see her sort of drinking tea

with her pinky out. Her hair was quaffed and she wore heels and she was lovely. Probably gets dressed up to do an economy flight to Wellington. Yes. You have nailed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so she was lovely. Probably gets dressed up to do an economy flight to Wellington. Yes. You've nailed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so she's there.

Lovely Noelene. And so Noelene comes into the house and lovely house, looking around and I showed her the curtains we already had and this is what I'm sort of thinking. She was like, show me the room. So I took them into the spare room, which is sort of the main room.

Said to Nolane, these are the colours I'm thinking. You know, my house is quite bold, so she's looking around wondering what the hell that huge mural is on the wall probably and thinking this is all about March. But anyway, all good. I said I need simple curtains. She's probably thought, no wonder

there's a lot happening in here already. Anyway, so then I was like, while I'm getting a quote for this room that, you know, for my parents to have a curtain in there, I'll quote up my room at the same time, because it's cold. So take her into my room. Oh, Lane.

Can I just reiterate, like, she had lovely makeup on, and you know, just sort of a warm, like she'd wear a neckerchief on the weekends. She had no idea what she was about to encounter. No, no, and she's looking around thinking lovely home, lovely lady, probably, about me. I've seen her on the telly doing the baking show. Yes, I think I recognise her,

or her voice is familiar to me. Maybe she's thinking. She comes into my bedroom and I haven't made the bed properly because we get up at four o'clock in the morning. I sort of- I make my bed every morning. Yeah, I know, but you're a loser.

Excuse me, it shows great, what does it show? Organization and something something? Yeah, it does show good organization and something something. But I like, in the mornings I take more time getting ready. Right, because you're not a loser, obviously. Because I'm not a loser. So, but what I, all I do is I've tied off my sheets, curtain, temporary sheet curtain things, you know,

that are covering things. Oh yeah, because you were hanging some sheets up as curtains. They're nailed on. On nailed, okay, of course they are. Yeah, I've tied those up and I've just pulled over the sort of quilt cover, cover the mess, right? And she comes in, my bedroom is like a plum colour

and the bedding's all navy blue and I'm thinking navy blue curtains because the plum and navy is the theme of the room. And she comes in, I was just like,, oh great huge doors and windows. I said yes so this is what I'm thinking here, da da da da da, and I go, oh yeah I'm thinking as well a sort of a navy blue more to match the duvet than the quilt and I pull back the quilt and there's this. I know what. Slim, baby pink, adult toy. Did you, um, produce a girl who knows where that story was going? Cause I definitely did. I definitely knew what was gonna, what was happening. Listen, we know Hayley. It's Hayley Sproul.

We know Hayley. Hey, we know what got sent in the group chat yesterday. Are we going to address that? Yeah, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh Pink on Navy blue. We didn't miss it. And I just went, yeah, so more that colour. But she saw. Flip it back, but Nolan was such a classy lady. Yeah, people that go into houses for their job would see way worse than that. I turned back to her to see if we were gonna have a giggle or an awkward moment, and she was already sort of,

background to the window, you know, just really handled it with the ease. Maybe she didn't see. Oh, she saw. She saw. Pankon Navy? Pankon Navy, this thing was undeniably a sign of the night before.

Why didn't you, you know someone's coming around to your house? Do I, I can't break it down on air. Do you know, like I, and then, and then in the morning, Ah,. Do you know, like, I and then... Ugh. And then, I'm in the morning! And then when I made the bed, later I'll find her and be like... I'll just say, it wouldn't have happened if you'd made the bed in the morning before you went to work. Like a loser.

Like a big loser. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Flesh, Born and Haley. Play ZM's Flesh, Born and Haley. Right now we wanna talk about whether or not you were bribed as a child by your parents. What was your childhood bribery? What did they use? A lot of parents bribed for exam results.

Yeah, good exam results or winning a competition or blah blah blah blah blah. If you do this, we'll give you this. This is great. This video's gone viral. A woman shared online she said spoiled my parents let me record a Hannah Montana cover album when I stopped sucking my thumb and she shared it?

everybody has their sticks everybody has their sticks 1,2, three, four. Wow. Oh my god, it is the- Did they pay for a recording studio or did it themselves? It's the pringiest thing. I don't know, but it sucks.

But it's so- But she stopped sucking her thumb. She stopped sucking her thumb. That was the bribe. She wanted to do this so badly. I get it, you know? Yeah. That's what we wanna know this morning.

What was your childhood bribery? I'll take teenage years as well. Right. Was yours just not do it or you get a hiding? Yeah, you get a smack. Yeah. But when I got too big for smacks. Yeah. One day, so the bit of context, because I have PCOS, but I didn't know it at the time when I was a teenager, I had extremely irregular periods and I had a boyfriend. So Patsy had put two and two together and was like, she's pregnant.

And one day, and I hadn't actually told my mum that I'd lost my virginity at this point. And we're driving around town and we go into this shop and she, I was like, I like this dress and she was like, oh my god babe, try it on. This is not my mom. And I put it on, she was like, you should get, I'm going to buy it for you. And I was like, oh my god, what a day. And I get back in the car and I remember feeling the silence and my mom going, so I've done something for you and now you can do something for me. And I was like, what? And she goes, I bought you that dress

and I want you to do a pregnancy test. And I was like, and then I did the whole like, what, impossible, what, that would mean. And she was like, Haley. And I was like, okay. That would mean the immaculate conception. Christ has blessed me. That's how I ended up telling my mum I lost my virginity.

But yeah, she bribed me to take a pregnancy test by buying me a nice dress. Which of course explains why you now have a 19 year old son. Yeah, yeah. And man, he's doing really well. He just made the first 15. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He's not, he's left school, he's 19. No, no, he, he's done a few more years. He's done a few more years. Well, the absence of his father, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, obviously, yeah. But no, you obviously weren't, but she got her way. No, I wasn't, but for her peace of mind, she was like, I can't just ask her out, right?

She'll rebel against me, so I'll do something nice for her. Amazing. Okay, well, we want to take your stories this morning. 0800 DALSATM, give us a call, text through 9696. What was your childhood or teenage hood bribery? We wanted to know what was your childhood bribery. Lots of messages, and mum wanted me to get braces, which I didn't want at the time,

but I was hungry one day and asked for McDonald's. Oh, you're kidding me. I said one round of McDonald's. Also like, do you know how lucky you were to have braces? I know. They were expensive. I know, I had them. Just paused for a moment of privilege and... Yeah.

And they're already crooked again. I didn't look at my taste. Yeah, I know, but I did. British. And I did Invisalign and they're crooked again. $1,000 if we didn't smoke by the time we turned 21. One out of three daughters was successful. $1,000?

Grand. Wow, okay. A grand. My parents said to me that if I pulled out my two molars, wait, hang on, said to me that if I pulled out my two molars and saved $150 each at a molar at the dentist, she would give me $100 each molar I pulled out by myself. What?

So I pulled out solid molars by myself. So rather than paying the dentist? Yeah. Okay, that's not good. They're baby molars. Okay, so they would have come out anyway? Well, they had to come out anyway, but they're still molars.

Ew, okay. Ow! All my parents are currently bribing my brother. At the age of 25, if he quits vaping, they'll give him 500 bucks. What? I'm unimpressed because I've got no rewards for never even vaping in the first place. I'm a perfect child and I'm not receiving anything. Yeah, I know.

But also, wouldn't you, if you were the brother, just say you stop vaping and take the 500 dollars? Yeah, and then just vape down the, you know, down your shirt. At Christmas. Yeah, but then they'll smell blueberry and be like... It's new from Dior. Dior blueberry. Keep your texts coming in, 9696.

Talking about the bribes that you had as a kid from your parents to do something. Yeah, to do something so that they could have their way, they just needed to give a little sweetener to you. My grandparents paid me $1,000 to stay at school and do year 13. I later learned that they gave all of their grandkids the money when they turned 18 anyway. Maybe they just saw you dropping out. Yeah. Oh my god, jokes on them. If I left I would have probably studied. I stayed, did the easiest class as possible, never studied and still just work in retail. Don't just say just worked in retail. We love retail workers.

Well you love buying stuff. Yeah I know. And without them there'd be nothing. It's just shoplifting. It'd be shoplifting, yeah. Promised, oh me and my siblings promised $1,000 for each at 18, no smoking, no drugs, no drinking, no tattoos, no piercings.

Okay. A grand for each. One kid collected three grand and the other collected five K. Did none of it. No drinking at all til 18. It's kind of a good bribe because it'll get you to an age

where then you can make a good decision on your own. Right? My parents bribed me to focus at primary school with horse riding lessons and I got diagnosed with ADHD at 20, go figure. Focus, just focus. I want to ride a horse. Do both.

Carly, what did your parents bribe you with as a kid? My brother was horrible at our spelling tests growing up. So dad said every time we got 100% we got a free CD. We love a CD. Oh, okay, right.. Man CDs were expensive as well you had to save for those CDs. They were. How many CDs did you get? Well I cheated on my spelling tests so I got quite a few. Exca... How did you cheat? No the question is how do you sleep at night? All these years later. You played the system and got CDs when you were cheating.

sleep at night. All these years later. You played the system and got CDs when you were cheating. How did you cheat on your spelling tests? Back when they had the old desks that you could put the paper in. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. So you'd put the paper under the spelling or the desk

and you could just look at the words. And they, okay, wow, I don't know how you got away with that. That's so obvious. I don't think we've ever spoken, Carly, to anyone so morally grey. This is unacceptable. Honestly, honestly, well, I don't know how you got away with that. That's so obvious. I don't think we've ever spoken, Carly, to anyone so morally grey. This is unacceptable. Honestly, honestly, Carly should be, Carly, do you have children?

Just one. Wow, you watch out. The runs and the blood. People is as evil as you. Carly, thank you. Some more messages in. My parents bribed me with a house deposit to stop being a little shit.

What? I need more information. Did you get the house deposit and what were you doing? Wait, and what did you have to stop doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need to know. My sister and I were also softball players, all of our youth, and she was a pitcher, I was a catcher, my dad.

But, bet, if my sister hit 110 kilometres before we were 19, I don't know how softball works but that's fast. That's fast eh, yeah. He would give us both 10 grand. What? We didn't get the money but I'm fairly certain she did pitch 110 so he didn't hold up his end of the day. Did he have some kind of speed radar though?

Yeah, yeah. Like how is he ever gonna know? Probably got it off Tmoo as well, I wasn't reading it properly. I got bribed twice, $10 if I didn't suck my thumb for a week, I shook on it, sat down on the couch to watch TV and it was straight back in. I cried and it had to be up to $20 and re-shooken on. Next time I split my chin open racing BMX, had butterfly stitches and felt like crap,

got bribed to trip to the toy section, I remember that, go to the toy section of the warehouse if I raced my last race to ensure I stayed top of the table. And I did it. Both situations worked. My dad does music bets. Oh no, that's a bet, that's not a bribe. I'm sorry. That's yeah. 07-2 you can text back when we say what was your bet with your parents. Yeah. My dad got me a trampoline to stop sucking my thumb and it worked. Oh, did you have a tramp growing up?

No. No, neither. No, we just had friends with trampolines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you weren't around there. My dad used to bribe me to give him a foot massage. Yuck. I don't want to touch my dad today. Yeah, no, yuck.

Yuck. Yuck. My dad used to bribe me to give him a foot massage and he wouldn't scream, I love you out the window during school drop-off. Ohuck. Yuck. My daddy surprised me to give him a foot massage and he wouldn't scream, I love you out the window during school drop off. Oh, that is ruthless. I mean, that's cheaper than going to the massage place, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. When my son was about six or seven, he was swimming with his siblings in our little pool. He got angry at his little brother and held his head underwater. I did that to my brother and his eardrums burst. Sorry, what? I know, so bad. I warmed him I warned him if he did it again I'd throw his PlayStation in the pool. He did oh my god now years

later he did so I did PlayStation and now years later if my kids misbehave I bribe them with the memory of that day and they know that mum really will do the craziest things that she sees. Oh my god Through a PlayStation on a pole unplugged. I hope Do you know what I mean? Because if it was power to the wall, he's probably not with us if it's power to the wall No longer with us. Yeah Someone just said yuck that foot massage. That's blackmail not bribery. Yeah plays ZM's flesh born and Haley Yes, well everyone's watching America's Sweethearts,

Sweethearts, the process of casting the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Yeah, a huge Netflix show. Huge Netflix show, huge honour! Very hard to be a part of it and guess what guys, there is a Kiwi on the team and we're so proud. Faith Ward is here. Hello Faith! Hi guys, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited. Now listen, I'm saying you're a New Zealander

and you call yourself like a Kiwi Ozzy, right? Because we will hear your accent, but you were born in Wellington, I believe, and then moved to Ozzy when you were 10? Correct, so I'm originally Wellington born and bred. Of course, I grew up majority of my life in Wellington and I do have a New Zealand passport, so you guys can most definitely claim me. Yes, thank you.abouts in Wellington can I ask, I'm a welly girl?

Of course, Porirua. Porirua. Oh nice. We love Porirua. Welcome to the mall in Porirua. You know that's... Oh North City definitely needs some upgrades. I went home like two years ago and was like oh it hasn't changed one bit. It honestly hasn't and never shall it. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. So Faith, we are super proud of you

because you are the first Kiwi to make it on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and everyone's been watching on Netflix, the show, watching The Journey. Like, it must feel so surreal to you. It honestly does. I'm so honored and I feel like it's so cool for us Kiwi girls to show that we are just as capable as everyone else to make our dreams come true.

And obviously we don't really get a lot of opportunity in New Zealand so we really have to put ourselves out there as it is. And I did just that and proved us right and that we are capable of doing something like this and made my dreams come true. So I'm really happy. So how did it happen? Yeah, like how did you go from Kiwi Gal to Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader? I know, right? So obviously, as I was saying before, so I grew up in New Zealand until I was about 10. And then we moved over to Perth, my dad's work, and then we stayed in Perth for a bit.

And I was kind of like, you know what? The opportunity in Australia is a little bit ahead of New Zealand. I hate to say it. So we got put in Perth. I did a lot of my training, dancing and cheer wise. Hit 18, started working professionally on a cruise ship and then started doing a bit of like, you know, professional work, like gigs and stuff. And then I was like, you know what, I'm not getting fulfilled from this.

I feel like there's something bigger out there for me. And then I saw Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders were auditioning and one of their recruiters actually reached out to me asking me to apply. So I was like, no way. Shoulder tapped. Shoulder tapped. I was like, oh my God, like, is this even happening? And she was like, whereabouts are you originally from? And I was like, New Zealand. She was like, oh my God, like, is this even happening?

And she was like, whereabouts are you originally from? And I was like, New Zealand. She was like, we've never had a New Zealand DCC, so you should apply. And I was like, okay. So then I just applied. It was a massive online process first, because obviously I was in New Zealand,

so I couldn't go to their live auditions. So I did it all online and then made it through to the finals. Then I made the trek over to Texas, did the finals auditions, made it through to training camp and just completed like a month and a half of training camp to then now be officially announced as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Oh, we're so, oh my God, go you Faith, honestly.

And you know, I love that not only you're the first Kiwi DCC, but you've caused some controversy and you've just started talking about it finally, haven't you? She's a scandalous cheerleader and it's all got to do with your hair. With this ponytail back here actually, so there's been a lot of tails going on. You get what I did? Yeah, I don't like that. Can we see that humor still lives strong?

It's crazy, but I'm honestly so honoured to not only be the first New Zealand DCC and the third Australian, I'm like one of the first to have a ponytail. Obviously, they've had other DCCs have pigtails and braids and stuff like that. But this is like pretty iconic. So I'm feeling very honoured.

Obviously, it isn't 100% solidified yet. It's still in the process. You guys will see if my cameo, if my hair is up or down, that'll be the answer as to whether or not it's staying. But for now, I've been wearing my hair in a pony and Kelly seems to like it. So to just fill in Fletch on this, like the DCC is famously, you got to have a lot of hair and mostly it's downright waved and you know, and there's a lot of hairography. That's

the word. So DCC is known for that. Hairography, hair whips, you know what I mean? That's the vibe. I honestly, I thought this when I started watching the show. I couldn't be a DCC, one, because I don't have a background in dance and I'm quite clumsy. But I'm very, very thin hair. Thin hair, yeah. Very thin hair. That was like me as well.

So I think that's why she preferred me with my hair up because my thin, fine hair was just sticking to my face, looking really flat to my face. So I was like, I'm an up girl, I can't help it. And my headshot that I submitted to DCC was with my hair up. So I guess they were introduced to me with my hair ups and they were kind of like, you know what? We kind of like her better with her hair up.

And I think that has a lot to do with how fine and thin my hair is. Yeah, I mean, I feel you, mate. I literally leave the house and it already clings to my face. Do you feel, I mean, like, obviously this is like, woohoo, I'm excited, I've made it. But the thing with the DCC, right,

is it's not just you stay for as long as you wanna stay. You have to keep applying all the time. Does that fill you with like anxiety and a bit of like unsureity? It obviously does, but that's not till next year. So I'm very much a live in the moment kind of girl. And I feel like we'll worry about that when we get to it. So I'm like, I've just made the team.

I'm a rookie. I'm going to enjoy the experience, what it is right now. And then obviously, yeah, I think when it gets to the time again of re-auditioning, all the veterans have to re-audition. I know we're all going to be in the same boat. We're all going to be feeling anxious. We're all going to be feeling stressed. We're all going to be feeling stressed.

I'm going to put my best foot forward as always. And what will be will be. But this year is just going to be amazing in itself. So I'm going to try and live in the moment and take it all in for what it is. Are you prepared for the fame that comes with this? Honestly, not really. Because Netflix is like, well, if you're ever on a TV show in Australia, it was just in Australia, right?

Yeah. Maybe it might be shown in the UK or New Zealand. Yeah. Netflix is global. If you're ever on a TV show in Australia, it was just in Australia, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it might be shown in the UK or New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. Netflix is global. My life is in a full 360, honestly. It's insane. It's kind of terrifying, but also so exciting at the same time. I feel as well like you might be starting to hear from a lot of people coming out of the woodworks, right? You know, like you only lived in New Zealand until you were 10 years old, but everyone's like, that's our girl.

You are hilarious for saying that. It's so funny. Like some people that I went to primary school with like randomly reach out. I'm like, have it supposed to be like 12 years? And it's like, cool. And I'm like, nice try. Yeah. You want to know me now that I'm famous, do you?

Tell me one thing you know about me other than the fact that I'm a DCC. Well, we will be following with such keen interest and pride. We're so happy for you. There's something you know about me other than the fact that I'm a DCC. I was hilarious. We will be following with such keen interest and pride. We're so happy for you. I will leave the world, thank you. Good luck. Good luck living in Texas with all that American food too and that orange cheese. You know what it's like, the orange cheese is giving full chatter like processed cheese.

We should maybe send you some kiwi cheese and some Kiwi butter just to keep you happy. Yeah. I would like that. I need like a Kiwi shop here because I'm struggling. Okay. Well had that organised. Hey Faith, thank you so much for talking to us and yeah, best of luck. Oh, thank you so much for having me and hopefully I'll do NZ proud. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Yesterday I got a new, I applied for my new passport. I got a passport photo. Big day. Big day. Big day. Because I'm a couple of months away from having my passport expire in six months.

Yeah, yeah, so you gotta. Like they say it's a 10 year passport, but it really should be. Nine and a half. Or like, no, it should be 10 and a half. Cause you're paying for 10 years, but you don't get to use it for 10 years. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to use it for nine and a half. You get to use it be 10 and a half. Cause you're paying for 10 years, but you don't get to use it for 10 years. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You get to use it for nine and a half. You get to use it for nine and a half, exactly. But then I reckon by the next time I get my next passport in 10 years, it'll be in your eye or something. Do you want me to tell you how old you'll be when you get your next passport photo? Nah, I thought about that yesterday and I was like, nope.

I think about it too and I'm like, sorry? Cause your driver's license is every 10 years as well. And you're like, I'll be what? Yeah. They'll be taking my license off me then. So is that an F in front of the number that I'll be? That's crazy. So I got a photo yesterday.

Yeah. And also part of the reason I wanted to do it yesterday is- Be honest. Come on, be honest. is because I'm lucky enough to be overseas recently and I'm a little tanned and I look less like a chemo patient without a hat. Yeah, cause you always wear a hat but you're not allowed, right? No, not so. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to get a photo now while I've got

a little bit of a tan. But then I saw a story this morning, TikTok's passport photo trend is getting people stopped at airports around the world. And this isn't people with tans necessarily, but it is mostly women that are doing their makeup and hair heavily. So much so that a lot of the scanners and the gates, automated gates, just do not recognise them as the same person. Yeah, because you're rocking a long, thick lash

and a filled out brow. That is not how we travel. No. We travel raw dog face. Getting off a 15 hour flight and you look like absolute... Yeah, and you've had a cap on the whole time as you take that off your hair is all looking terrible. You're in a hoodie and sweats and you're just like...

My, as you know, my passport photo is stunning. You're going to be gutted when you have to... I'm going to be so gutted, but it's still natural I didn't wear a lot of makeup. Now Shannon said my photo looks like prison bra. Yeah, but the hot thing. That's a Lincoln. Is that a compliment?

Yes. Or do you think I look like a criminal? No, cause the whole thing is his diddy, didn't he, you know, well he won't, he's hot. He's hot in there. Yeah, Lincoln. I reckon your new passport photo makes it look like you would start speaking with someone like this.

Like I speak Spanish. You know what I mean, I'm gonna see Papi in there. And then when the tan wears off and I'm just pasty white like I normally am. You need to be careful because this influencer who we love, Alicia Marie, she did the full glam for her passport photo, rocked up to the airport in sweats and got denied.

Yeah, because the machine was like, this isn't you. It didn't recognise her because she had lashes and everything. Well, I don't know. I haven't done lashes. I haven't done makeup or anything. It's just tan. Mine's just natural beauty. It's natural beauty. Thank you, Carwin. Natural prism break. Natural prism break beauty.

So you've got four years left of your photo. Twenty, twenty nine. I've got to do mine. And definitely like I'm young, I'm fresh, I'm unjaded, I didn't work in radio at this point. Oh yeah, your next one's gonna be horrible. Like I can't even, it's gonna be, it's gonna need to be a longer photo for the drooper. Yeah, you might have to go to Turkey pre-photoshoot. I think I will. At least five cases. Yeah, so that, I'll be 40 right? If people are getting Botox all the time and you get Botox.

But you've got a neutral face and you know if you were smiling and you're having crinkles. No but then if you go traveling and you're not keeping up with Botox or you stop for whatever reason wouldn't you then look different? Rapidly start aging. Or vice versa I don't know. Well the thing is that's why I can't ever stop. You're right. I've got it. The last trip I'm gonna do on this passport, Turkey. And then get the new photo afterwards. And then get the new photo post-heal. Post-healing process. It was a big day for our friendship yesterday because I got the photo taken, went downtown, this lady took the photo, emailed it to me, that

was sorted and then I applied online and it said that I needed a referee, because you're renewing your passport, an identity referee. And I was like, okay, which one of my friends can send me their passport right now, so I can just do this right now? And I was like, Haley.

Wait, was that the only? Yes. Was that the only criteria? Because maybe I would have asked Vaughan, but then Vaughan would have been... Hailey would have been doing jackal with her day. If Vaughan wasn't busy yesterday, he still would have faffed around. So I think you would be one of my quickest to respond and most responsible friends.

I actually do respond quite quickly. And you know I like my passport photo so much, it's on file. But then I was talking to our friend Dr Shawnee who's overseas at the moment and I said how long did your passport take? And, who's overseas at the moment, and I said, how long did your passport take? And he said, oh, it was like a week. It was really quick. And he said, wait, are you getting yours renewed?

And I said, yes, because I was his referee. And I think he was upset. It was like when you're someone's maid of honour and they're not yours. Yes, but he's overseas and he wouldn't have been able to reply to me yesterday with his passport info that I needed Yeah, so I asked you yeah, but I think if he was here I would have asked him just because I did it for him because he's a doctor because he's and he's a doctor and a comedian Exactly, and they look when they do it and they're like, oh doctor. Yes trustworthy trustworthy Comedian as an identity any kind of reference of referees. It's not ideal. But you DJ but

This is actually the third time this year that I've been a passport referee. Yeah, cause you're on to it. I've got my shot together, you know what I mean? I did it for my best friend's two kids to verify their identity. What's needed? Am I waiting for someone to call me or? Nah, they just.

Look me up. I they just look me up. I think they look you up. They just Google Haley Sproul. And they'll see that hot passport photo of yours. And they'll be like, far apart. And then they'll see when it was taken and when it's getting renewed, they'll be like, poor bitch. Oh, that's going to be a rough day for her.

Play ZM's Flash Bornin' Haley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, ah, ah, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Okay, right. So I didn't have to do any, I was gonna make something up. Why do they call it a water bottle when it doesn't look anything like water? You know, something like that. Anyway.

Cause it's a bottle that holds water. It's also not a food. What's the theme of the week? Foods that are called things that they're nothing like. Pineapple we've had. We had grapefruit. Grapefruit. Yesterday was peanut. Today, why are they called hot dogs?

Because they're not dogs. They're not dogs. They are hot. They are hot. So despite Zero Dog Meat being involved in the sausage. It is to do with how they look. He's provided, Vaughan has provided the origin story of the hot dog. The sausage itself, the Frankfurter or the Wiener, sometimes called the Wiener, came to the US with German roots. Frankfurter from Frankfurt, obviously. And Wiener from Vienna, Austria, and they're hot,

typically sold hot. I don't, with a cold sausage, maybe a cold like New Zealand barbecue sausage next day from the fridge, but not a wiener. Not in a bun with a cold sausage, absolutely not. Then obviously the sausage is long and thin like the dush hound, the dog. So in Germany they started jokingly calling these the Dush Hound sausage or the hot Dush Hound. Right. Then we move into hot dog, but the actual name hot dog was from a cartoon in 1901.

It was a New York sports cartoonist, Tad Dorgan saw vendors selling them. Back in 1901 they had the New York sports cartoonist, Tad Dorgan saw vendors selling them back in 1901. They had the New York hot dog. Huh. Okay. And he sketched it, you know, like the parody sort of political sketches or what, he sketched it for the newspaper and he couldn't spell Dush Hound. So he just said hot dog rather than these hot Dush Hound sausages.

And then it stuck. Hot dog. And so it stuck, hot dog. And so now they're hot dogs. Yeah. And then Vaughan has provided me with a bonus fact, which I think is really generous in his absence. It really is, yeah. Still working despite taking a day off.

Yeah, but I'll say, he said bonus fact, and then it said there's no actual evidence. I'm just reading the end of the sentence. Okay. So I feel recently Vaughan's been getting confused as to what is a fact. You know what I mean? As the sort of, you know, master of fact of the day.

There's bonus factors. In the 1800s, there was rumours that sausages might contain mystery meat and it was believed that the mystery meat was in fact dog. Oh, we don't, yeah, no. And that would have helped, and people were like, that's why we call them hot dogs, because back in the day.

I'm gonna prefer to go with the other explanation. Well, again, there is no actual evidence that hot dogs ever actually had dog meat. So today's fact of the day is that they're called hot dogs because they are served hot, and they look like a dog, as in the dush hound dog. Fact of the day day day day day I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Play ZM's Fletch Born and Hayley. Oh this really makes me laugh. There was a guy in Australia who had been dating a new woman.

He said it was gorgeous for a few months after they met through a mutual friend. A few months in. Last weekend she invited him over to her place and was like, come back to mine but heads up my house is a bit of a mess. As you usually do even when it's not right. Oh sorry, your house is a bit of a mess. As you usually do, even when it's not right, oh sorry, house is a bit of a mess, you fold a tea towel, you're like, there you go. He laughed it off, he was like, oh don't worry about it, like it's totally fine. The moment he walked through the door, literal piles of trash on the floor,

sink full of dishes overflowing onto the counter, stains on the couch and carpet, weak old food on the dining table, mountains of clutter. Wait, this is him going to her house, not. Him going to her house. I thought it was gonna be the other way around. No, no, no, no. Her going to his house. No, no, no, no.

Okay, wow. Just let go of those gender ideas. So, overpowering smell of mold and mildew. He said he could taste it in his mouth. Like the house isn't messy, the house is filthy. Yeah, it sounds like one of those houses that the mould makes you sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, you're unwell,

there's something festering inside of you. And he just said he was like, holy shit. And the moment he just immediately was like, oh my god, this is like, I've gotta go, and left. And that's it. Yeah, it was over. He said, I'm not being petty, this wasn't about clutter or mess.

It was like, this is saying something. Like that sounds filthy. That sounds really dirty. Dirty? It's a really dirty house. Really dirty, yeah. And he said the one thing as well that really made him immediately go,

oh, here's a problem is that she just acted completely normal and was sort of like, oh, bit of a mess. Not like, this is a tap. Like like a bit of. This is a tip. Like it's Phil's. You're living in Phil's. Yeah he said for a moment I tried to not act weird and just be like. Because I mean let's be honest guys will just let hot girls away with anything. So it must have been pretty bad. Gorgeous he described it as. Gorgeous. He said he managed to stay for a bit and watch a part of a movie but then he left before it got too late. The next day he was like, I'm done, we're out.

That's it, so I mean this was someone he thought was gorgeous. Gorgeous. Had gone on, you know, a couple of months in. Yep, couple of months. But it was an immediate dump. Yeah, he did say that he didn't think that they were compatible.

That was the wording he used. He didn't mention the apartment, but he said it sort of felt obvious. Well, you're not compatible if someone's not clean, right? And they live in that kind of mess. What are you supposed to do when you got, no, no, no, no, no. Anyway, this is what we were thinking this morning, getting some calls and texts in for is,

what caused the immediate dump? Not the sort of slow thing that chipped away that you went, okay, no, I don't like that, the thing you went, nope. You know, you're seeing someone at the early stages, maybe you're like this guy, a couple of months in, and then you just learn something, and you're like, okay, no, out.

Yeah, I cannot. I just can't. I can't come back from this. Maybe it's just, you're on the first date, and everything's going great, but there's this one thing, and you're like, okay, out. Okay, I will say we've got a message and I think this is a little obvious I was immediately dumped by my wife of 20 years after she caught me and

her male best friend together. Wait we're gonna need more info on that. I'm assuming you're a dude yeah that would be a lot for her to see. Yes. Good for you but that's not what we mean. But that's not something she can provide him, is it? No, she can't. You know, and that's not on her or her. So it's not on her, it's not on her really, is it? You know what I mean?

Maybe, really, the male best friend, dude. Anyway, we digress. What was the reason for the immediate dump? Give us a call, 0800 DALS, that's our number, you can text her as well, 9696. Maybe it was something like, they were a a bit gross you learned something gross about them or maybe it was something that just made you go oh we will never work. What was the reason for the immediate dump?

What was the reason for the immediate dump is the question we've asked you because a man had been dating a quote unquote gorgeous woman for a couple of months she said come over to my house sorry it's a bit messy He walked in and it was like filth. Mountains of filth. You know you always hear about those hoarders that die and then their family has to go in and like there are piles of like crap. Yeah, yeah, like bags of cat poo. Phoebe, what was the reason for the immediate dump? He refused to talk to my best friend when he met her for the first time and refused to even ask if she wanted to sit in the front seat instead of him.

Wait, what do you mean he refused to talk to her? How? He said about four words from the half an hour drive to the zoo, the hour we were there and the half an hour drive back. Oh did he want to be there? Sounds like a real fun sponge. He said he wanted to and he wanted to meet my mates and everything and then he said four words look at the rhinos. Oh wow I like what rhinos are quite impressive. Oh when you see one. When you see one. When you see one you are like. They're beguiling. Do you know what I mean? They take your breath away. Phoebe, thank you. Kiera, what was the reason for the immediate dump? Hey, so I had this guy that I was with for a couple of months. He said that he grew up on a farm and all this stuff. And then I pretty much see my horses because I thought, oh yeah, he'll be a horse kind of person.

And straight away he stepped on a horse poo right by the gate and he was like, oh yucky, in this like baby voice. Oh yucky. And I was no way, absolutely not. Okay so you're definitely against cute baby voices in relationships. Like steppy diddly horsey poo poo doo doos. Not like that, you know, it's just gross. I think I will haunt me for the rest of my life. I love it.

You can still hear it, Akeara. You can, and you're like, okay. No, I can hear it in my dreams. Did he ever say why did you end things? Oh, just, you know, I was like, oh, you know, it's not you, it's me. Oh, I remember the term. He has no idea it's because of the baby voice. No, no, it's him.

Anybody ever says yucky to me, I think I might just block them. Yucky. Yucky. Kira, thank you. Keep your texts coming in, 966-0800. Dials at M is the number. What was the reason for the immediate dumping?

Georgia joins us. Have you ever had like a knee jerk dump the moment you saw something? Yeah. Not dump, sorry. What did you do? It was when... Knee jerk dumping of someone.

It was when they went in for the first kiss and I was like, that mouth ain't for me. Oh! We've had someone say that. Oh really? I don't know, it's like I didn't notice it beforehand. The moment I went to kiss, I was like, no, no thanks. Someone said they had the little white spit buildups

in the corner of their. Oh no. If we had to teach you a corner froth. At least lick that away first. Yeah, like how does that happen? Someone texted and saying bad breath, like something died in his mouth. Yeah, no.

I imagine like, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Hot, hot, hot. And then they come near you and it's like, halitosis. Yuck. No thank you. Some messages we got in on Instagram as well. He wore sneakers with jeans and didn't bring chips to the party, hashtag 2007.

You gotta bring chips to the party. Maybe he's like quite a head of the fashion curb there. Yeah, wow, actually, yeah. I think it was overlooked. Someone said, I immediately dumped him after he gave me ugly earrings for my birthday, was rude to the waiter and cried about his mum. So I quite like someone who'd cry about their mum. Yeah, that's a mummy's boy, was rude to the waiter and cried about his mum. Oh. See, I quite like someone who'd cry about their mum.

Yeah, that's a mummy's boy. Rude to the waiter though. No, no, no. Yeah, that's an instant no. They came over to my house and made an apple and ginger green tea and added milk to it. Wait, you didn't add milk to a herbal tea? No.

What are you doing? He gifted me plastic flowers. Oh, don't be a snob. But they'll live forever. Yeah, they will. Literally forever in a seagull's don't be a snob. But they'll live forever. Yeah, they will. Literally forever in a seagull's nostril. A little bit, but they'll live forever. Ooh, the moment I caught his long dirty fingernails.

Blech. What do you want to do with those? When they told me there's no way any of his future kids would choose to be gay. Oh wow. I'd just like to note that this text put choose to be gay in quotations and we stand by those quotations.

He didn't believe the gender pay gap was a thing. Classic. He lied about his Tinder profile, used his twin brother in photos who was the taller twin. Oh wow. Oh, that's unfortunate if you're a twin and you're the way shorty. Hey, we stand short.

I mean, for some people it is. Yeah, good, good.. Wow Georgia digging yourself out of that hole. I'm drowning. Some messages in. Lesbian here. Okay hello lesbian. Good morning to you. Have a lovely lesbian day. Lesbian here she told me she felt the urge to sleep with a man but still wanted to stay with me not sure how she expected me to react, but see you later, sweetie. Yeah. Sounds like we've got a bisexual on our hands here. If you're a purest lesbian, it doesn't match, does it? No.

He told me he loved me after three days, so I had to dump him. Aw. I text, what? I text to say I'm gonna be running a little bit late, as tonight's episode of EastEnders was the Christmas special and it's always an epic one. He was furious and said I was being selfish so I dumped him. I've never watched the EastEnders

Christmas special. But if we know anything about a Christmas special of any show it's always the best right? It's always a good one yeah. So I mean whose side are we on here? I had to pull over on the side of the road to text you guys. Okay. Thank you That's always a good one, yeah. So I mean, whose side are we on here? I had to pull over on the side of the road to text you guys. Okay. Thank you for being safe. Actually, we really never text and drive, never. Unless it's a really good story. Unless it's like, a little burst.

No, never, okay. My then boyfriend never ever, Trevor. Then my then boyfriend bought me a set of lingerie and then told me, picked it out with his mum. No. That's not sexy at all. Every time you'd put that on, mum was on the mind. No.

Oh my God, this would be an immediate dump for me. Was seeing a guy going for a walk, he threw an empty bottle of, like empty plastic bottle into the bush during a bush walk. I turned around and left. Yeah, fair. And I was like, no, that's so unattractive. plastic bottle into the bush during a bush walk. I turned around left. No! Yeah, fair. I was like, no, that's so unattractive.

Apple cores are fine though, eh? Yeah, I would do an apple core. This is not a real text. 658, this isn't real, first date, got back to his house. He noticed the full moon outside and rushed to put his crystals outside to charge Is it a full moon is it a full moon? I'm so sorry quickly. We open that drawer

He probably thought she was into crystals. Maybe yeah, maybe When we do most girls a lot of girls give big crystal energy someone Google is a sign of like a good night though You know what? A lot of girls give big crystal energy. Someone Google is a sign of like a good night though, you know? What? Charging the crystals? He was preparing. Um, I dumped... Oh, okay, no, I can't read that. Um...

Good pre-reading from you. Good pre-reading with Worn Away. Okay, I went on a first date with a guy and it went really well really well turned out for the second date and he turned out wearing a cardigan. What's wrong with that? Georgia loves a cardigan. The hip sort of bents and booney boys were wearing cardigans. Maybe this was like the jeans and sneakers it was pre cardigans being fashionable. Or is it like that phase of grandpa's cardigan? What's that book? Grandpa's slippers and grandpa's cardigan? What's that book? Grandpa's slivers and grandpa's cardigan? Georgia can I put an image into your brain? Maybe. Imagine Fletch wearing a cardigan. Why is that so unbelievable? Is that not sexy? I think it's because of the bald head.

It's just Fletch's sort of sporty aesthetic and then him turning up in sort of a soft cardigan. Yeah, I'm not a cardigan person. Cardigan, pair of loafers and jeans on Fletch. And the pants are a little bit too short and he's not wearing socks. And he's right, no. He's pulled them and he's rolled them. Yeah!

He's turned his crew into an ankle. Oh my God, I could have. I can't, Fletch, can you do that tomorrow? Have you finished teasing me? Have you finished teasing me? Oh, I also broke up with a girl. She said to me on the second date, if I kiss her on her forehead three times,

I'm going to turn her big love button on. Oh yuck! Careful. Careful, kiss me on the forehead three times, my love button gets turned on. Oh, that's kind of cute. No, that's just an instant jump. That's disgusting. On the first date, he cut his toenails in front of me,

and spected them and sniffed the stars afterwards. Absolutely not. No. I mean, you deserve to be single. George is up next. Ariana Grande, on to them. Someone said the image of Fletcher the Cardigan's giving big lovely bones. Lovely bones!

Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Oh my god! Wow, thank you, thank you. I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way. Give us a review.