ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - June 17th 2025

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: 10 day silent retreat routine Little robots to give to your long distance partner Top 6 - Female changes in MI6 Have we found Hayley's next job SLP - Do you exercise less in winter What did you find out about your teacher? Influencer tracks down trolls Shannon's Hack Gen Z are vaping less & there is a ban coming in place today What did you panic google? Fact if the day What Vaughan accidently shared Hayley's blood test See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletchvorn and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. It's ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Thank you, Nork Norks. Good morning, Fletchvorn and Hayley. Welcome to the show. Two minutes past six, the top six on the way, Vorn. Yeah, there's the first ever, despite what I thought, you know, I've watched a lot of shows about British spy agency MI6 and there's been female heads of MI6 in lots of these shows.

Slow Horses, James Bond. MI5 is the domestic one, MI6 is international. Is that right? James Bond is MI6? I think so. Yeah, so. Or is he MI5? Well, he was MI5, but he upgraded to MI6. Right. He's going for five Well, he was in my five. Yeah graded to my six, right? He's going for a my seven which is an impossible seven and I believe that since cinema's now right?

I there's a female head. Yeah, Judy. Is it who's Him Otherwise no one yeah slow horses. Yeah, there's a female. If she's otherwise known. Slow Horses? Yeah, there's a female head of MI6 in Slow Horses. Is that MI5 though? Slow Horses, the next season of Slow Horses comes out in September. I know, yeah. That's a great show.

Love that show. Isn't it? Great show. Love that show. But I've got the top 6 things that will change. With a female as the head of MI6. I hope this takes a feminist stance. You know me, huge ally. Huge ally with the women of MI6. Okay. I hope this takes a feminist stance. You know me, huge ally.

Huge ally with the women. Huge ally. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. Now Stephanie Gavarn in the UK attended the Dharmadipa Vipassana silent yoga retreat. You've heard of it. I've just heard of it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well with a catchy name. With a catchy name. Dharmadipa Vinamsoma. You're correct. Close, close. Dharmadeepa Vipassana. Vipassana. Meditation centre in Herefordshire for a...

That's a fun thing to say. Yeah. You're gonna take me all 10 days to memorise it. Dharmadeepa Vipassana. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was a 10 day silent yoga retreat. Now I'm already out. I hate yoga. Hate it. Snorefest. silent yoga retreat. Now I'm already out. I hate yoga.

Hate it. Snore fest. I'm bored the second I'm in there. It's so slow. It doesn't work with my internal tempo. I've done a couple of those classes at the gym and they're hard though. Very hard.

Like the Pilates ones are quite hard. It's the mental head space for me though. I get too bored. We're too slow. And I know that's the point. In the breathing I'm like,'s go. Anyway she shared online the timetable for this 10-day retreat. Every day is the same. I'm already bored. I'm so mentally unstimulated by this. Here's the timetable. 4 a.m. morning wake

up bell. Now unless you're working a breakfast radio like us there's no need to be getting up that early. Yeah. What about milk the cows and do the bakery or start the rubbish run or there's lots of reasons to get up that early. No, breakfast radio is the only one. Everyone else should be in bed. But then no one would be listening to breakfast radio.

Oh, okay. So all of this is in silence. It's not complete silence. Are you allowed to talk to yourself? I would. I'd go to the bathroom and be like, hey Lee, and then just like, hee hee, I broke it. So 4 a.m. up, wake up bell.

4.30 till 6.30, that's a two hour window, we meditate in the hall or in your room. We've got two hours of meditation under the belt by 6.30 a.m. 6.30 till eight, that's a breakfast break. Eight till nine, group meditation in the hall. What is breakfast? It's not bacon and eggs I don't reckon. No, I, that's a breakfast break. 8 till 9, group meditation in the hall. What is breakfast? It's not bacon and eggs, I don't reckon.

No, I reckon it's like grains. It's giving big grains. 6 till, 6.30 to 8, breakfast, 8 till 9, so that's your third hour of meditation, group meditation in the hall. So now we're together, meditating in the hall. But again, not talking. Not talking?

What if somebody, like, cause you know these classes, someone always will let out a fart. Yeah. Laughter. Can't chuckle. Are you allowed to chuckle? No laughter. Hey.

Maybe like that. That's not silent though. Okay. Okay, yeah. Like that, clutching my chest. Yeah. Okay, so we're group meditating for an hour, eight or nine. Nine till 11, we meditate in the hall or in your room,

according to the teacher's instructions. So we've got another two hours of solo meditation after the one hour, after the two hours you've had. We're at five hours. Yep. And it's 11 o'clock. 11 till 12, it's a lunch break.

So all we've done between brekkie and lunch is group meditate, solo meditate. And did you say this was 10 days? Yep. 12 to one, we rest and interview with the teacher. How are we interviewing at silent? Maybe the teacher just speaks and you don't speak. The written interview. Maybe. Yeah.

Maybe we pass a pad of refill. One to two thirty we meditate in the hall or in your room. Okay, are you getting it? Like we're just meditating. Two thirty to three thirty group meditation in the hall. So we're going solo group, solo group, solo group. Three thirty to five meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher's instructions.

So it's just a lot of meditation. How much does this cost? It has a lot of nothing. Tea break? Five to hall or in your room according to the teacher's instructions. So it's just a lot of meditation. How much does this cost? There's a lot of nothing. Tea break? 5 till 6.00. I'm looking forward to tea at this point. 6 till 7.00, group meditation in the hall. 7 till 8.15, teacher's discourse in the hall.

The teachers are talking. This feels unfair. But you're not allowed to. You're not allowed to talk. 8.15 till 9.00, group meditation in the hall. 9 till 9.30, question time in the hall. I'd want to be in bed if I'd been up since four o'clock by now. Or nine thirty p.m. retiree, the room lights are out.

Right, and then you do that for ten days. So all up, it's eleven hours of meditation, from rise till sleep. Yep. All silent the rest of the time. I mean, look, I'm not knocking meditation because it's certainly, people swear by it. And it's really good for your mental well-being.

Yeah totally, but 10 minutes. 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes, not 11 hours. You've got to work your way up. What am I thinking about for 11 hours? Would you drive yourself crazy? I wouldn't last an hour. I wouldn't last an hour.

I try to meditate. How many people do you think start this or they go along with a friend and they just leave after the first day? She said being alone with yourself is hard. It's also very revealing. Boredom forces you to pay attention to the things you'd usually miss. I can't be bored. You would drive yourself crazy.

We cannot be bored. Why be bored when you can be overly stimulated and have five devices on the go? That's the reason people are doing these 10 days. You know what, she thinks she's better than me now? Absolutely not. You just try to stop me talking. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, a lot of people do the long distance relationship thing.

You know, people overseas, another island, another town, another city, another country. Well, you can't stop the heart. Oceans will never stop the heart. Well, catch flights... It will if you fall into the heart. Oceans will never stop the heart. Well, catch flights. It will if you fall into the ocean. Oh yeah, your heart will stop. Your heart will eventually stop. Catch flights, not feelings.

Yeah. But there are these Roller Mini Companion Robots that people are now using for long distance relationships. Now these companion robots are like tiny little balls. How would you describe them? Kind of like tiny little balls. How would you describe them? Kind of like a robot. I'd describe them as a robot. I think you did well.

But like, they're kind of like a ball with wheels. It's like a cute little face. So there's a few different ones. Enabot make them the Enabot Roller Pet Cam one. Oh yeah. So it used to be like 400 bucks, but then there's one on trade me for 75 but it's a smaller ball. I don't know what this other one it almost like this other one might

do vacuum cleaning as well. So they and they have pet robots as well so are they there to monitor your pets? Yeah so you roll around and can talk to your pet. Oh cute. Okay maybe I need to oh my god only 149 dollars. Oh my god absolutely we're getting. Uh okay shall I get one? Yeah I'll get one. Oh okay so this other one, the more expensive one, it's back pops open and it's got snacks in it. Snacks for the cat. Yeah. So people are using these not for their pets or to monitor their pets at home, but they're using them to talk to their lovers. Oh yeah, so if you've got one and you could like book your overseas partner or whatever. Or maybe you could just check on them see they

haven't you know got another hot girl around. I'm not spying on them. Well they've got basically they're just cameras aren't they? This is big spy bot. Yeah okay you if you guys get the one you need to get the more expensive one because it's got treat dispenser mode and you can like shoot treats out. Oh, that's pretty cool. Oh my god. It automatically returns to the dock to charge itself when its battery runs low. Right.

Isn't it a clever little chucky? See, and these would be great for when your parents get in a home. You just instead of getting them a cat, because they won't want one, because they'll be like, I don't want a cat. It'll die before me. And we're going on that cruise. We're going on that cruise. We're going on that cruise. Who's looking after the cat while we're on the cruise?

Then get them one of these, except it'll pretty trip them up. And then, okay, I'll just, okay, this actually looks like a fun thing. And then you can like log on, and you can see what's happened. And it's like, example, it says at 5.30 this morning, a sound was recognised as glass breaking.

Seven o'clock someone was active, 8.30 a bark occurred, and 10 o'clock I've identified your pet. Like it kind of gives you a timetable of what you've missed as well in your absence since you last logged onto the little pet. Is that gonna be problematic with the long-term if you're using this to monitor your long-term partner?

Yeah. You know, heard a door open 2 a 2 AM, heard the sound of another woman. 2.35 orgasm. A very distinctive orgasm sound. And I can replay it back to you. Yeah. Here's the orgasm sound. Yeah.

Dispensed a treat at 3 AM. Yeah. Put them out of treat for a job well done. Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, there was meowing, but your cat was asleep. I'm not sure what's going on there. I want these in my house.

No. Chasing me around. You got off them. Nah, I've got off it. It feels like an invasion of my privacy. Filming me, recording me. It is crazy because yeah, people are saying like, pet companion or like long distance companion,

but other people are just saying like, yeah, when I'm not home, this is how I like, perute, I'll log on once a day and scoot around my house to make sure everything's in order. Okay. Do you remember there was the drone security cameras? What, that could fly around your house? They flew around your house.

It was like a robot vacuum that mapped your house so it knew where it could fly. And then you could be like surveillance mode and it would go, vroom, fly around the house and send you could be like surveillance mode and fly around the house and send you a video. Oh my god I just hit things though we'll get tangled up in hanging plants. Yeah no it does it's it does its initial scan of the house very carefully so it would know where to dodge. Mmm what if it had some

of my you know nice antiques. Yeah that's true we are living in the future. This is the future. Imagine explaining this to your grandparents. Oh yeah. Like when we were little. I was gonna fly my drone around your house, Pop, just to make sure everything's fine. Yeah. He'd probably shoot it down.

I think he did have a gun. He'd blacked out and said he was a Japanese. He had an unregistered gun. Play. ZM, Spledgeforn and Hailey. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. I've written it, I'm full of regret. What's wrong, baby? I've written a baby

That's weird. I don't know. I was trying something Baby, let down didn't it we Wow Wow let the rumors swirl My baby boys Blaze baby, why was your top six so hard? Baby wanted top six tongue in cheek about woman and now he feels bad. Oh yuck. The baby voice? Was it not sexy? I reckon in 2025 we're done with baby voice.

Yeah, I heard someone baby voicing in public the other day and I gave them this look. To their partner? Oh yuck. It was a dude doing it to his female partner. Eww, was it? Me hungry. When you're going to be done with the shopping, I'm hungry. When are we going to do Doe Home? That's what he said.

Yuck! When are we doing Doe Home? And I looked at him and I was like, you disgust me. That's irk. Blaise, B-L-A-I-S-E. Yeah. That's her name.

Yeah. Maitre Wale, appointed as MI6's first female chief. Kilda. Amazing. Blaise. What? It looks like her name's Blaise. Blaise, yeah.

Blaise Maitre Wale. Now I feel... She's the head spy. She's like the head of MI6. Wow. The first female. It's only taken till 2025 for there to be the first female.

You know what, better late than never. Yeah. Well, I've got the top six changes at MI6 to allow for females. Okay. Number six on the list, female toilets. It's a bad time they popped one of those in. I'm pretty sure they have women working there.

They don't piss on the street outside. She was obviously working her way up the ranks. Yes, did they make you pop a squat? Yeah, they were making them pop a squat. Oh god. Real characters. How horrible. Finally getting female toilet.

Okay. Number five on the list of the top six changes for females in MI6, I'll say again, this is all tongue in cheek. Okay. I don't want to get investigated by MI6. Nah, we'll clip that bit out and just make this earnest. The retina scan allows for long curly eyelashes now.

You know when you have to, I've got great lashes, do you think it would have confused me? I would have been a little bit confused. They'd be like, now that's a Sheila. Deed! What a scanner would have been like, access denied female.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, woman. Access denied woman. Number four on the list of the top six changes for MI6 to allow for the new female had slightly less hard floors for the high heels. It's too click cloppy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. hard floors for the high heels. Too click-cloppy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'd imagine as a spy you'd need a sensible shoe though. You'd need a sensible shoe. Because you'd be a lot of running. You'd always have to be ready to run. Yeah. I'd go with sharp sneaker. Yeah. I always see them running on the shows and they're running on like a dress shoe.

Ouch. Yeah. In a low fur. In all grown toenails. Yeah. Real sore toes. James Bond must have had the worst in-grown toenails. Yeah. Real sore toes. Oh god, James Bond must have had the worst ingrown toenails.

Yeah. That wouldn't have been sexy. He wouldn't have pulled all those sexy. I'd turn a blind eye. Russian counterintelligence officers. You're telling me you got Sean Connery into bed and you'd look at his toenail and be like, oh, it's a bit finger on.

And then be like, ah. And then be like, no, he'd pull the sheet up over it. And then be like, ah. Yeah, or you'd kick him. Ah, Jesus. No, you're like. no, pull the sheet up over it. And then be like, oh. Yeah, you kick him. Oh, Jesus. No, you're like. Hang nail on the sheets.

Number three on the list of the top six changes for females in NWSX, why to car parks? Cause you know. Wow. Unreal. Unreal. You see me parking my car. I'm pretty bloody gay.

Hailey's been, it's giving big lesbian energy. This is what I'm. You're reducing. She's backing into a car park. She's backing into all car parks. Australian lesbian too. Yeah, it's giving big lesbian energy. This is what I'm, She's backing into her car parts. She's backing into all car parts. Australian lesbian too. Yeah, that's right. But you know, I've got a big car now.

Yeah. So the old Maz, it was fine driving back out, but now it's just easier to back out. How does your- How does your back in this morning? Yeah. How does your- I was holding the lift for you,

and I'm like, come on. Yeah, she backs in. But how does your car have a camera above looking down? No, it doesn't. It's a God camera. God livestreams in. It's all the around cameras and they AI it together and it looks like bird's eye. The camera's bird's eye looking down. I know, it's amazing. So when you start reversing a little stick pops out of the roof.

It's magic. It's incredible. Welcome to the world. You don't even need to look at what you're running over now. You just reverse in and it's fine. Tell them what you said the other day. No, I won't say that. When I was reversing. And he was looking at the cameras being like, wow, you'd be able to look them in the eye

as you ran them over. I did not say that. Give them a little nudge. That was in private between friends. You'd be able to connect with them through the eye as you barreled through them. They're just looking at the laser beam thing at the top. They're fighting for sitting in a car park in level two.

Yeah, that's right. Well, someone's sitting in a car park. In a way. Heather sits there sometimes before the show. She meditates. She does. She meditates in a car park. And I say, move it, De'Plesi!

She's waiting for Hayley to move her car. Yeah. All right. She'll just sit there. And I say move it Deplecee! She's waiting for Hayley to move her car. Yeah. Alright. She made a tax. She'll just sit there. I'll just back on in. Good. Move it.

Number two on the list of the top six changes for females in MI6, the laser beam haul that you have to do gymnastics down through, now's, it allows for boobies. No, it's just up a level. But what if you got the, what if a rockin' Ds? Well it's, it'll allow for it. Okay, good.

Right at the start. When you're punching your ID, you also put in your cup size. Yeah, right, right, right. And the laser beams are just for you to do your gymnastics. 007. Wow. 14D. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really, it really feels like you should be canceled for this top six. I know, that's what I'm saying. It was especially, very tongue in cheek. That just feels so archaic that they've finally got a female head of MI6. Well, so the fact that you're wearing an Indian headrest doing this top six is quite something.

I don't know why he put that on. Yeah. How? And spray tan? We've got a tone too dark, my bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You guys want to hear my... No, we don't, no. Go on, put your pants back on. No, I was gonna do my pantless Vietnamese rice paddy farmer impression. No, no, no, no, we're okay. I don't want. Go on, put your pants back on. No, I was gonna do my pantless Vietnamese rice patty farmer impression. No, no, no, we're okay. I don't wanna hear it until I've heard Fletcher's Persian Rugberchin.

These things have to work. Carry on with your top six. And number one on the list of the top six changes to females in MI6. Period, decision, stand down period. Honestly, it's for the best of everyone. Just a little bit of a like. There we go, we need a decision now. And she's like, no.

Two days. Look where I am in my cycle. They say I'm so sorry. I don't want to make a horny decision. I don't want to be a rational. I'm ovulating. All I want to do is eat men and food. Yeah. That's the good stuff. That's today's top. I will say again.

Tongue in cheek. Top six. I love women. No one loves women quite like Vaughan. Ha ha ha. I think I've found a sign hustle for you, Hailey Sproul. I think this could be more of a money maker than your comedy shows. Cheap, it's really okay.

You know, you've talked about OnlyFans, if only you had a niche. Yeah, because I don't want to do just the straightforward stuff, I need a niche. Like easy, like feet or? Feet or like farts. Do you know what I mean? Feet or farts.

Feet and farts. But those markets flooded. Fart into my feet. Flooded, you know, they're flooded. Too flooded. Well, a woman is a professional cuddler and she is charging people in the UK 85 pounds for a hug session.

So that's like 160170 New Zealand dollars. Yeah. Wait, what's involved in this cuddle session? Well, so she's a therapist, she's 41, she makes a living by hugging strangers, and yeah, it just depends on how long you wanna hug for. So £65 an hour, or £85 for 90 90 minutes and it's just cuddling. That's so good. I could 100% I could do that. So she says it's beneficial, she

says her clients get you know have a range of needs like they might just need some platonic nurturing or touch based therapy or they might just they might be working through some trauma, some isolation, some loneliness. Maybe they have a physical disability. You know, there's some providers of services for people like that. And they just want to cuddle. Oh my God, I would be more than happy to give cuddles.

Just, you know, there's gonna be some guys that just, you know. You're gonna feel a couple of things in the smaller back. Do you know what I mean? You're gonna have to be Big Spoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll have to be Big Spoon. You're gonna have to be Big Spoon.

Oh my God, a professional cuddler would love that. She also does some workshops as well where she only charges, I guess, New Zealand dollars, about 30, 40 dollars and she'll just have an entire room full of pillows and everyone just goes in there and just hugs pillows in each other. How good's a hug?

But again, it's all plutonic. Oh. Yep,, it's all plutonic. She's making bank and you love hugs. You're always trying to hug me. So how do I say this? Hayley's Hugs, I mean I've already got the H. Hayley's Hugs. Perfect, Hayley's Hugs. H-H.

Hayley's Hugs at home. You could just rip off that, what's that clothing brand? H&M? No, H&M. Oh, H&H, the warehouse. Haley Hansen, yeah you just rip off that logo. Maybe change it like 10%. Enough to not get into a legal battle. Yeah, yeah with just rip off that logo, maybe change it like 10%.

Enough to not get into a legal battle. Yeah, yeah with. Hallie's Hugs. It started out with feets and farts and now we're onto Hallie's Hugs. That's a branch of Hallie's Hugs, is feets and farts. Feets and farts and Hallie's Hugs.

But that's subscription, like that's behind a paywall. Yeah. Feets and farts. We need to merge it with the G in the middle of the F and the H so it could be feets, farts, gay girls and Hallie's Hugs. Yeah. What about, so if I was Hallie's Hugs Merge it with the G in the middle of the F and the H so it could be feats, farts, gay girls and Haley's hugs. Yeah What about okay? So if I was Haley's hugs and it was Fletcher's farts

What would Vorn's be? V's a hard one. V is hard. Vorn's veins and it's just pictures of your arms. Just I could just put a Put a bout or a tourniquet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do that And then write women's names on it. You know how the women do that? They write men's names on their socks and then they send them off. They wear them all day and then send them off.

Goodness me. So we've got Vaughan's veins, Hayley's hugs, and Fletcher's farts. We talked about that recently. I'm dead serious too in our gaggle chat. We did talk about selling sort of that weird niche of people who buy underpants that have been worn by women.

Yes. And I'm like, we're a group of sweaty dudes. We could that have been worn by women. Yes. And I'm like, we're a group of sweaty dudes, we could all wear them to the gym. And then send them off. People won't. But as Hailey, so people think, there's no way we want guys under. Oh, so you're wearing women's panties. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know I said the word.

Wasn't Morgan? Didn't someone... Request? Yeah, I've been asked. Really? Yeah. But I think I was severely asked. Really? Yeah. But I think I was severely being under-offered.

I think he offered me a tenner. It's got to be covering new parandis. I've been rocking these things. More postage. That's not even going to cover the post bag. Be popular in the post lady. Yeah, it's expensive. It's a fortune.

Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Fleshborne and Haley, silly little poll, silly little poll. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll. Today's silly little poll is do you exercise less in winter? So I didn't know about this but there's a concept called wintering and it's been made popular by this book with the same name and the idea is that you hibernate and you slow down during the colder months but health and exercise experts say that's not a thing.

Yeah right. Which I don't think it's a thing. You sort of want to keep healthy right during winter, more so. Yeah, maybe less outside. Yeah. I went for a run last night, later in the day, and man by the time I got home I was cold.

My fingers were cold, they wouldn't even work a phone screen. Like I was just like, and I sat in the hot shower for so long. So what did the people say? Well the people, the people who we consulted said 69% of them.

Nice. Nice. Said they exercise less in winter. 31% don't. Wow, that's a bit, okay, cause I find it a lot easier in winter at the gym. Cause it's not as muggy. It's not humid, like Auckland gets crazy muggy

at the gym in, you know, summer. I just don't like the, like getting hot and just don't like the getting hot and then getting cold then getting hot and then getting cold. You do less cute outside walks or beach walks or like I cycle less outside in winter obviously. But I'll still go to the gym just as much. But imagine if you were a normal shift worker finishing work at 5pm.

It's dark, it's cold. It's dark, you just want to get home. I can imagine that'd be hard. You got the slow cooker on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the house smells of beef. The goulash is on. You open the front door and you're just hit by that wall of meat.

Yeah, I love a wall of meat. Electric manna smell. I like crock pot next week. I've been crock potting a lot. It's the best. Slow cooking's the best. You leave the house, you come back. Just crap meat and a tin of tomatoes.

Yeah, dude. It's all you need. Some is the best. You leave the house, you come back. Just crap meat and a tin of tomatoes. Yeah, don't. What do you need? Some soy sauce. Some soy sauce. Newb says, winter's for the gains. Cooler winter, uh, weather means more clothes. So no one can see that you're eating more and growing big. Oh, we're bulking. We're doing a winter bulk.

You can hide a lot with a Camandu or a Mac Pack puffer. Oh yeah. Honestly, a puffer does it. Yeah, really takes over. Aucklanders who moved to Dunedin to study and do the fresher 15. They hide a lot under a puffer. And then come back to a humid sort of Auckland mid November. And they're like, oh, uh oh.

Mum has to buy you a new size puffer for the next year. Cause you got the fresher 15. Alexandra said, I tend to exercise more in winter as I have no other social plans. Summer's for sunshine and drinking and someone will be like, do you want to go out? And I'll be like, yes. Yeah, okay.

That's a good call. I find, yeah, you drink more in summer and more socializing and more just hanging around at barbecue eating rogue sossies. Yeah, a lot of rogue sossies. You're like, we should probably get a garlic bread. I really hate affected said Gemma, so find it way easier to go for a- Oh my sausage. You're like, we should probably get a garlic bread. I really hate affected said Gemma, so find it way easier to go through.

Oh my God. What? Unbelievable. We bought garlic bread for the- I bought, we brought four garlic breads. Mama, for your allies. Didn't even make it in the oven. And interestingly-

To the roast. Matty McLean, who was hosting this dinner, has brought back my bowl, but not the garlic bread so he's kept the garlic bread. I think he probably just chucked it in the bin. That's actually theft. Do you reckon the next day hungover him and Ryan ate it? We need to investigate further. It's actually theft. Mum and Fia rallies though. Oh yeah what are you out? Four loaves a moment for ours. What are you out $2.50? Your cheapskate. It's high-end garlic bread. It's margarine I reckon.

Oh it's a hundred percent margarine. It's not butter. Yeah it is, we looked at the ingredients, that's why it's yum. Gem is really heat affected so I find it way easier to go for a frosty morning run. I can take the layers off as I go plus exercising in the rain brings a whole new sense of independence and how refreshing is it even in three degrees. Gemma! And the rain! That is some positivity. But I don't do a winter run rain. I get too cold. Well done Gemma. Tash

said more. I love running in the cold winter air. I do whelies in summer as it's too hot. It is good to get that cold air into the lungs. Oh I hate it. Makes me feel a bit bleedy and then my nose gets so drippy and I get that headache from my ears being cold. So much harder to get up in the morning and go to the gym when it's dark and cold, said Steph. Hannah says one word, netball. Nattie. Love some nattie. When most of my exercise involves walking the dark and the too cold I easily sway my decision not to, said Jodie. And I can understand that, you gotta say so.

You should read out that quote though. One moment please. Hayley's gotta quote save just for these kind of moments where you're like, do I wanna go to the gym today? It's too dark, it's too cold. Yeah, well you know what I say to that and what my good friend Fletch said to me. Well actually it was from someone else.

When I was making excuses, here it is, your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you ever wanted. If you let them. Is that just saved on your desktop? For you, yeah. Because I always look for it. Quick access. It's saved in my favourites. Fiona said the hardest part about going to the gym in the winter is how cold the car is. Once you get there it's all good, but the car is so cold.

Again though, Fiona. Again what I'm hearing is some excuses, and your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you ever wanted, if you let them. Whereas Candy is on the team of saying actually it's easier because I don't overheat. Yeah, okay. Sounds like she doesn't have excuses and that they won't destroy her

and take everything that she ever wanted. No, her excuses are summer based by the sounds of things. That, well I'll tell you, just, what? 69% of the Jordan Haley respondees to Cillian Lippol exercise lesson winter. Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. Everyone is entitled as an adult to live the life they choose. I believe. Okay, yeah. Where's this going?

Well, there was a 34-year-old teacher who has had to quit her job as a teacher after her students found her OnlyFans account. I was about to say OnlyFans, I was gonna pre-empt it, OnlyFans. Is this in New Zealand? Or, it must be overseas. Glasgow. Oh, right, okay.

It's in Glasgow. Otherwise it would have been bigger news. So her name, she's a Mrs. Is she hot? Oh, sorry. That just popped out. Yeah. Cause we all knew a teacher when we were in high school that... Scottish Italian. That's a hell of an accent mix, isn't it? Oh yeah. Her profile is Jess here, Scottish Italian, good teacher gone bad dot dot dot.

Really bad. She said she was a teacher. Okay, right. Yeah. And wait, and the kids at her school found it. So some year 11 and year 12 students approached her very excited, saying like, oh my god, you know, we've seen, are you Jessica Jack Rabbit? Oh wow, okay, right. Two staff stopped to ask her and say like, this is going around, you know how rumours

spread so quickly in high school? And yeah, had a conversation with the principal and it just like wasn't possible for her to And so she's gone, she lost her job because of it? Yeah. Wow. Well she's gone, she lost her job because of it. Yeah. Wow. Well she's quit. Yeah. But, on her OnlyFans,

she once made $125,000 Australian dollars on her page in a month. Oh wow, okay. So we're going- Like does she need the teaching job now? Yeah, I know. She's obviously doing alright. That's the thing, she's already got into that

to supplement the income because not paid insanely and made that amount of money. Are you allowed, what are the rules on that? You're not, right? Well, the school said that it was up to her to ensure that her profile picture and bio were not accessible to students basically. Right, okay. So they wouldn't be able to instantly recognise her as Mrs.

Yeah right. So if you are a teacher on OnlyFans, hide your identity. Maybe have a, like an alias or a... She apparently went on Good Morning Britain and like defended herself, rightly so, and said you'd be surprised at how many teachers from the UK are doing OnlyFans that have reached out to us since this came out. Well there are many stories like this of like cops

that have had OnlyFans and that have been found out and lost their jobs. Are they not allowed them? Well I mean there have been some stories where yeah they've lost their jobs, maybe because it brings their company into disrepute. Ross Boss is here earlier, Ross Boss, am I allowed a OnlyFans page?

I'm just gonna wait for him to give me- He's laughing, he's laughing. Why would it be laughable that I would be on OnlyFans? He's actually on the floor now. I'm actually on a theory. It's a ruffle. Yeah, it's a ruffle. I haven't seen one in years.

Is he ruffling? Ross is ruffling. A ross-fling. He's having a ross-ful. He's having a ross-ful on the floor. Well, it's not that much of an absurd idea that I would have an OnlyFans. Well, this is what we wanted to know this morning.

Yes. Did you find out something juicy about a teacher at your school? Yeah, maybe you- No names and no school names. Maybe you discovered an affair they were having. Or no, or like a secret life. Like maybe they were like a,

what are those, role players or something at the weekends? Oh my God, yeah, a larp-er. There's nothing wrong with larping. You're like your hot science teacher that you're like, how's he doing? And then you're like, oh, he lops? Okay. Let him lop.

Let him, let them lop. Maybe they had like an odd hobby or you saw them about outside of school and you're like, oh, you do this. You do this. You do that, interesting. Interesting. Okay, well, you do this? You do this? You do that. Interesting. Interesting.

Okay, well, 0800. Well, maybe you like pulled up to like a drive-thru and they were there and you're like, hey. Like working a second job. You see a job, Uber Eats. And you're like, this is right. Teachers do not get paid enough. Yeah, that's right. Okay, well, 0800 dials it in.

We want to take some calls. You can text her, 9696. Did you discover a juicy secret about your teacher? So, a teacher in Glasgow in Scotland has quit a job slash been fired. I think it was a mutual decision. It was a, you just quit, and otherwise we're gonna have to fire you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. After her high school students discovered she had an OnlyFans. Now, we're not purping anyone for having OnlyFans, but I guess it's an employment question. Yeah. Whether or not that's appropriate, I guess. So we wanted to know what is the juicy little secret

you discovered about a teacher? Okay, obviously we're not gonna be able to read out some of these. Filtering, filtering. Heavy filtering applied. Filtering. Jeez. Oh my God. Okay, we'll just filter. So someone just said my art teacher was, insert name here. Jeez. Oh my God. Okay, we'll just filter.

So someone just said, my art teacher was, insert name here. Yep. Heather Tonkin. I can say that, Fletch, you're freaking out. Don't freak out. You're freaking out. Have you ever heard that name?

Never heard that name. Never heard that name, I've Googled it. Heather Tonkin, who had an affair with Prince Anne's husband. Prince Anne's husband? That's apparently was like a high. Prince Anne, Princess Anne? Princess Anne's husband. Oh, so you said Prince Anne. Did I say Prince Anne's husband? That's apparently was like a high... Prince Anne, Princess Anne? Princess Anne's husband.

Oh, so you said Prince Anne. Did I say Prince Anne? I was like, who's Prince Anne? Princess Anne, you never know in these days. I might have said Prince Andrew. You never know these days. We didn't ask her. You don't, yeah, just go with it, eh?

We don't understand. Yeah. So... Wait, so was this a well-known affair? Yeah, it was a very well-known affair apparently. It was like in the news and stuff. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, amazing.

Thanks. Okay. Now I've always wondered this when the homosexuals attend the gay-only saunas. Oh okay. And you see a teacher there. Which I find very discriminatory because I like saunas. Yeah. They're not gay-only. There are saunas for you. They're not nearly as fun. Saw my high school teacher in a gay sauna 10 years after I left school. I was out, but I don't believe that he was. Oh, okay. I think we just connect eyes and then we just look away.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay. Okay, well, New Zealand's too small. I'm a technician at a high school and I saw an ad pop up on a swingers site looking for a third and it was a Teacher and her partner looking for a third. Oh, wow. Okay. She'd done a poor job of hiding her identity, right? Oh This can't be real. This was in the UK We had a teacher who was awful turns out she was actually an American journalist from New York City and had witnessed a gang Murder and she was put into witness protection One day she was there the next she was actually an American journalist from New York City and had witnessed a gang murder and she was put into witness protection.

One day she was there, the next she was just gone. What? Wait, but how would they know? You don't tell people hello everybody. It's a crucial part of being on witness protection is that you keep that mum. Yeah. More detail please. Yeah, more details. One of my teachers lost all of her money when the stock market crashed. She was a real bitch though, so I feel like she deserved it. Pfft.

I don't know if that's how that works. Yeah. That's how it works. Okay. One of my high school teachers is now married to a girl that was in my year. They also have a kid together. It turns out they were hooking up

through the last year of high school as well. Whoa. That's scandalous. No names, no names. I recently started dating a girl. Well's scandals. No names, no names. I recently started dating a girl. Well done. Congrats. Congrats on that, congrats on that.

And I went round to her house with her, unplanned, to pick up some things and walked in to the deputy principal at her house smoking weed, which was hilarious as he'd just done an anti-drug speech in assembly. Wait, what, so it was her dad? I don't know if that was the dad or not. Or he'd just done an anti-drug speech in assembly. Wait, what? So it was her dad? I don't know if that was the dad or not. Or if he was there with one of her parents or something smoking some Marashawana.

Okay, that's pretty funny. My friends are a teacher out and about. We went up to say hi as he was getting in his car. As he opened the door a little bag of weed fell out and hit the ground. We all laughed so much we went hee hee hee and picked it up and put it back in his car. Oh my god. Because't because you forget like when you're a student you think the teachers are so old and they're adults and they've got all their stuff together. They're not though. They wouldn't have a little tinny. They're a grown up. One of my one of my female teachers at high school slept with a year

13 and then the year 13 boy and then the year 13 girl that he had been sleeping tagged Ms. blank is a SLUT all over the school. So then the whole school found out and, um, the teacher apparently had also got barred from banned from local bars as well. Cause she was a real loose goose on the weekends. Okay. Scandal, scandal. Here's more tea on another art teacher. Scandal. Here's more tea on another art teacher.

My art teacher was having an affair with my friend's mum, who was the part-time admin lady. Can we read the second bit? I haven't read the first one. The worst part was my friend's dad. No, maybe not. It sounds like that's too... Identifiable. Identifiable.

Yeah, okay. It was a real scandal in this small town. Oh, okay, yeah, right. Good guess to me. My old okay. It was a real scandal in this small town. Oh, okay, yeah, right. Good guess to me. Yeah. My old high school teacher was secretly sleeping with my boyfriend 20 years later. Still dark about that.

She lost her job. Still dark. Bonus for me, we used to play against her in netball and I made some pretty awesome contacts that the ref would stand down. Contact on wing defense. My dance teacher showed up very drunk to our Sound of Music performance.

Fantastic. And then didn't show up to class for six weeks. Yeah, yeah, right. Oh no. Yeah, there was some time off to sort that problem out. One of my high school teachers slept with a student, got fired and after that went to prison for murder. What?

Fuck out. Pfft. Well it sounds like, you know, at the end of the day, having an OnlyFans is on the light end of things. On the low end of things. And let's remember, they are but human. Yeah. Teachers are but human.

Yeah. Oh. A lot of filtering going on. A lot of filtering going on. Yeah, sorry, we were reading through that because you think they're funny to start and then they've got a sad twist. Yeah.

One of the teachers was sleeping with a student in their last year at our school. He got fired his wife left and then he had to go back to Romania. Oh. What'd you make me go home to Romania for? I went to an all-girls school. One of our teachers was having dalliances

with an exchange student from the boys' high school. Goodness me. The school never found out, but our whole class knew. Absolute scandal. Yep, too much filtering. No wonder we weren't allowed in the staff room. God imagine the bloody hooey they're having in there trying to sort this all out.

Her name's Indy Clinton. That's her name. Indy Clinton. Yeah, she would fall under the bracket of influencer. Yes. If she was going overseas and it said, I always wonder why do they need to know what I do for a job? At Customs.

Same, what's it to you? I think it adds to your profile, like why are you traveling? Like if you're unemployed and you're- I never put DJ. You're, no, never put DJ. Never put DJ. That's an invite for rubber gloves and an inspect.

Absolutely. I put broadcasting professional. I put broadcaster. I don't even stick to the squares, there's not enough squares for broadcasting professional. I put broadcasting amateur. Right. I put entertainer.

Oh no. So I could be anything. That screams drugs. Is that why I'm always getting pulled over? Cause I'm doing all-roadcasting amateur. Right. I put entertainer. Oh no. So I could be anything. That screams drugs. Is that why I'm always getting pulled over? Cause I'm doing music drugs. Yeah. But it is weird. Like what do influencers put? Influencer? I guess they put influencer.

Maybe. Do you think hot models put model? I might put hot model. I might put hot model next time too. And then see if they look at me and go. Oh my God, can you please put hot model and see what they do? Yeah. Love that.

I will. I'm changing it. I think they use it as a profile, right? And they say like, 52 hot models came to the country this year. Is that what? Hot models returning to New Zealand. Is in like, is your whole picture, could you be affording this travel?

If not, there's probably a reason you're travelling, someone else is paying for it, and they've got drugs in your suitcase. Right, okay. Yeah, that sort of thing. I might put carpenter. Yes, like the good lord himself. When they look at me I'll be like, boof, just like flick some guns. Boof!

And then they pull out a hand saw and they're like, cut this piece of four by two straight. And you're like, I don't want to. Which one's the four bit and which one's the two one? Indy, Clint, the four is the longest side of the wood. The two is the shortest side of the wood. The two is the shortest side of the wood. I'll remember that. Indy gets trolled. Okay, quite a bit.

Because she's online putting herself out there. Yeah, she's putting herself out there, anonymous accounts and everything. So she hired a private investigator. Really? And she was like, give me the details of all of these people. How do they even do that? How do these people do this? Private investigators. IP addresses?

Maybe. Yeah, wow. How do these people do this? The private investigator. IP addresses? Maybe. Yeah, wow. She has shared a video, she has a 64 page document filled with the findings of the private investigator. She said, let me tell you, you are no longer anonymous because I have every F in detail. But you know, it amazes me sometimes and I do it very rarely if there's like,

you know, maybe the Herald or someone posts something on Facebook, a news story, and then people comment the nastiest, meanest things. And quite often, it's full name, first and last name. Oh, I know. That blows my mind. And a picture of them with their kids, and if you scroll back, one of their profile pictures is like, Gumbrute Friday.

Oh my God. Say no to bullying. And they're like, just saying the most horrendous things. Do you remember when I first started working on Seven Days, I made an off-colour joke, you know, and it's the role of the comedian sometimes you provoke. Someone messaged my mum saying that she should have aborted me.

And I remember- They messaged your mum? My mother, like went through my pro, like found a sprit and all this. And she was like, what? And it was when I first started working in TV. And at first I'm not. TV is weird, people are so much especially women on TV.

People are on radio, people are nice. Especially the female. But I always loved the story, and you've told it before of your mum that messaged the other mum. Yeah, when this guy messaged me something very lewd. And then my mum went on his profile, found his mum, and then messaged his mum from one mother to another.

Oh my god, it was so bad. Literally one of the most iconic Patsy Moops. But so these people were thinking they were anonymous, and she's managed to track, oh my god, I love this. Their names, their Australian business numbers, if they're business owners, where they've given birth, their tattoo designs, and even the name of one of their gynaecologists.

She said one of the most, most of her trolls, many of her trolls are from Melbourne and their mothers. Oh, that sucks. Like, women tearing down women. Yeah, but are you not, I don't know, you're not busy enough? Yeah. You live in Melbourne and you're a mom,

like what do you got all this time on your hands? Also, what's she gonna do with this information? Well, she released the entire document. No, she's just saying, I'm saying you're not anonymous when you do these things. Because I sometimes wonder if we should. I know that's the beauty of the Internet, but I wonder if sometimes if we are going to comment and be online, it's with our name and we're registered. Totally. So that, you know, people think twice about just writing random stuff.

Absolutely. Sometimes I don't think they do. I don't think they do. I don't think they do. Even if it is their actual face. And they just go tap, tap, tap, send away. Like when the Lord album art dropped. Oh God, I thought you were going to, yeah, jump links. I was like, oh, jump, I was like, Vaughan, stop bringing your church stuff on here.

Oh, you know that I can't help it, but bring my faith into my broadcasting. I'm a broadcasting professional and faith healer. Lord dropped that album cover and David Farrier, Web Worm did a story about like the things that men who have like children in their profile pictures were writing about it. And then said they commented publicly

and then he did a story about their public comments and some of them got really upset. And he's like, but you are commenting publicly. Yeah, people don't think, they no I think good on her before you bloody write stuff online good on her good on you now let's uh let's head to Shannon for a Shannon's hacks and we made her an intro yet because I feel like we've really done her dirty we promised her an intro five yeah she did get the five. What are you doing? Are you not playing ZM's Fletch Fawn in Hayley?

What's that? What's that? Oh, it's a Shannon's hack. It won't be like that. Shannon, I will write you your jingle. I'm holding out for a hero, you know? Yeah, I know, and I will be there. I can be your hero, baby.

But not today. But I do want a hack from you. It's been a while. It's been a while, and I've got one. Lots of concerts happening at the moment. I feel like we're going to have lots coming to New Zealand and everyone's in their concert era and all of the girlies are loving a boot at the moment.

We're loving like a thigh high cowboy. We've got a knee high. My calves are too thick. You know, I fill them out. Oh, I elastic band it. Like I'm not. What do you mean you elastic? Like you've got to put a slit down and then elastic. No, like, you know, like how they've. Oh, I elastic band it. Like, I'm not. What do you mean you elastic? Like, you've got to put a slit down and then elastic.

No, like, you know, like how they've got like a bit of give. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, I'm elastic. But no, I've got a bit of a hack because, you know, when you go to a concert, they do a bag search and man, it slows you down. Oh my God, I know. Or they have one of those places where you have to have a clear bag

and it has to be a size of an envelope once you cross it diagonally. You know, it's too much work. work. I've got a hack for you. What you need to do is just get one of those cheap card holders, you know, those thin little credit card sized sleeves and a piece of Velcro and just stick it to the inside of your boot. And what's in there? Your card, your money, anything you need for the night can just stay on the inside of your boot. We're not dealing with bag searches. We're not dealing with anything. You know it's secure. It's not in your bra, it's not going to jiggle out. It's not going to jiggle out.

Or just get one that sticks on your back of your phone. Well listen, I'm a girl who has... With the phone in the boot. Yeah, you can do that. My phone's going to get wet in the boot. Wait, your phone's not going to fit in the boot comfortably. You can if you've got like a cowboy boot. Cowboy boot, there's space. Yeah, but also who's at a concert not with a phone in their hands, come on.

Yeah, true. But just thinking, especially like with money and your like keys and such, if you just slot that into your boot. I have also seen one person do this with a cowboy hat. In the hat? In the hat, they wear belt pro. Oh, someone could take it off your head.

What about pockets? Uh, hello, I'm a woman. What about making some kind of, I don't know, I can imagine some kind of SAS or some kind of Navy seal wearing some kind of holster. Like a thigh garter bag. It's like a little bag, but it's got like straps around it. That could be cool. That could be cool.

Yeah, that could be cool. A lot of craft. Yes, with the little garter. Boom raider. This is the most subtle way to do it, I would say, no matter what your outfit is. Like if we're wearing a tight mini skirt and a tight top, you can't fit them in your boobs.

No. We can chuck them in our boobs. Someone just said boobs are great storage. They are, but not for long-term, not a full festival day. And especially if you're rocking a sticky bra. Oh, chicky filler. Sometimes for a concert you're going for something like that. You don't wanna have to delve into your sticky bra

to pay for your kebab at the food vendor truck. Yeah. And you're handing over a moist card. There's just something humbling about it. A soggy, a soggy fibre from the tat. Whereas imagine just leaning down and just grabbing from a little sleeve in your boot, your card, how easy would that be?

I actually think this isn't a bad idea. If you had a wobbly boot. You could go, you could have different sides of the boot because I'll always go wallet in the back right, keys in the front left, or the back left. But we don't get pockets. No, I know, but what I'm saying is on the right hand side of the right boot, phone,

left hand side of the right boot, cash, cards in the left boot, right side, and then on the left of the left, I don't know what you could put, that's a freebie. A little lippy. Some durries, and a flask, and some lip balm. As long as it's all not dropping down otherwise it's going to be very uncomfortable. But no, I'm talking a good velcro, you know one of those like, Yeah. Very uncomfortable. But no, I'm talking a good Velcro. You know one of those like... Yep. Dust.

When you move into a flat and you think it won't get your bond taken off you, you know those? Oh yeah, the 3M ones. Yeah. Yeah. One of those. I don't think this is a bad hack for the festival girlies. No, not a bad idea.

It's a 3.5 for me. Yeah, I was just gonna say 3.5. It gives 3.5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 3.5. Some messages. Someone said I used to do that when I was clubbing, would get home

and all the coins would fall out of our shoes. Someone, okay, someone just said, what about using Love Shack for Shannon's hack? Oh, that's... It's a Shannon's hack, it's a little old hack where we can hack together. Oh, I will say, Shannon's hack together. I will say,

Shannon's Hacks Baby. I love it, I love it. Shannon's Hacks Baby. Shannon's Hacks, it's a Shannon's Hacks. Yeah, love it. Love it. Wasn't there a Black Eyed Peas song we thought we were going to use?

My Lovely Shannon's Hacks. Here's a hack. Check it out. I will say just one more text. Someone said if you don't want to use Velcro, just wear two pairs of socks in your boot. Oh my god. That's a very warm foot.

That is a very warm foot. It's a warm foot but if you just- Contrary to your foot size as well if you're wearing two pairs of socks. If you're just needing a bit of cash and your shoes are a bit loose, I reckon that's a good hack. But I think chuck in some Velcro.

Yeah, great idea. What if you just got one sock and then like cut the foot off another sock? So it's just a shin sock. Yes. Leg warmers. And then like leg warmers inside your leg. It'll rise, it'll move.

You need the toe to stop it. It'll move and wiggle. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're right, you're right. What if to keep it cool, you cut out a little bit of heel and the toes of one sock, but it was still sort of hooked on? So the jogger sock. I love this idea. I love this idea. The jogger sock. I'm going up to 3.6 out of five. cool you cut out a little bit of heel and the toes of one sock but it was still sort of hooked on. I'm going up to 3.6 out of 5. Vaughan 3.5. Yeah I'm 3.5. I think we're gonna go 3.55. It needs work. And I think when we find time I think you should work on

the love shack and the black eyed peas and we'll vote for the favour. On my life, the next Shannon's hack hack this jingle will be here Play ZMS flesh born in Haley as of Tuesday the distribution manufacturer. That's today by the way Yeah, feels like it should be Thursday You know what I mean short wake short wake the distribution manufacturer sale and supply of disposable vapes is banned from today and supply of disposable vapes is banned from today, meaning the little one-off ones that you buy and you do, do, do, do, do, do, and then you throw them out.

So your pod-based ones or your refillable ones, they're still available. But the reason they're doing this is because they are so popular amongst young people. 10.5% of people aged 15 to 17 said that they vape daily in a health survey. 10% of young teenagers vape daily. That's crazy. That's absurd. What we doing that for? I feel like I always see them outside my local dairy trying to buy them. Oh my god, all the time. I've been asked. You definitely don't look 18.

Vaping devices, products and packaging can no longer be displayed at general retailers. That's also from today. You know who's gutted? Who? Big Sandy. She's just messaged in. Oh, she loves the grapey toots. A few weeks ago, we hadn't even heard of Big Sandy.

Now Big Sandy's a regular contributor. I smoke disposable vapes every day. I'm bloody gutted. Oh, babes. We'll just get on the refills if you're doing that. It's not good for the environment though is it? No it's terrible for the environment. And you always see them like in the streets strewn around and run over.

Oh my god they're so terrible, there's little plastic tubes. I'm always like oh my god someone's lost their USB and then I'm like oh no it's a vape. It's a vape. So specialist vape stores can't display products in any way that makes them visible from outside their place of business. Right wow. So you've got to go to specialist stores and they've got to kind of hide them. Which is kind of what we did with cigarettes.

When cigarettes used to be behind the petrol station. Beautiful, colourful display. Yeah, and they didn't have the health warnings on them, they were just the brands and they were right there. And then we put the health warnings on them but they were right there and now they're hidden. Picture of someone's manky tongue. Yeah or some like awful face.

And then now you can't, cigarettes can't be displayed so it's going the same way. That was interesting that stat about the, what was it the 15 to 17 year olds? Because Gen Z's in Australia a recent, well they did a big well-being study and they were saying that Gen Z's are vaping less. But is this since they've already done the ban? Maybe, because in Australia you've got to get a prescription from your doctor. For vaping. Isn't that...

No, not just for all vaping. Which is probably what it should be, right? My brother did vape for a while and when that came in he was like too hard basket and it made him stop and now he doesn't. And does he smoke now? No, not at all. Oh, that's good then. He went from smoking to vaping to nothing,

which is sort of the progression idea. That was the ideal progression, right? But then people, this is what, remember we would always say, like people who weren't smokers, who started vaping, you're like, what are you doing? 40 year old woman.

You're warming them up. I knew a handful of mothers too, that had never vaped, and then never smoked, and then took up vaping. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Well from today those little disposable ones, they're gone burgers. No more banana little USB sticks left around confusing our poor boy Fletch as he goes to work every morning. Thinking that people are losing their USBs on the street.

They're big long sort of skinny USB sticks. USB sticks. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Yesterday I kind of shared the fact that after eating a blue, very blue, birthday cake out of icing. Yeah, the food colouring. Yeah, I had a worrying poo. Yeah, greeny.

It was very, it was far greener than poo should be. I like that you just talking about that seemed to kind of give permission to other people that had experienced. I heard from so many people. Really? I heard from so many people that said, someone said, this was our wedding cake. And it was a very blue fondant.

All right. A blue wedding cake. Maybe it had a blue theme. Interesting. And they said in the next day, their new husband. Yeah. Post wedding. Yeah.

A blue shins. You wouldn't be waking up on your, the morning after your wedding. Wedding boxing day we call it. Yeah. Wedding boxing day. Wedding boxing day. You know a happy day. Was very, apparently he said,

something terrible is happening to me and they worked out it was because of the blue icing on the cake because a lot of other wedding guests said it. Someone said, I recently ate this cake and sent through a cake, their child had a bluey cake. Oh yeah. Because Bluey the dog, because a lot of other wedding guests said it. Someone said, I recently ate this cake and sent through a cake, their child had a bluey cake. Oh yeah. It was bluey the dog.

Very blue. Well the warning is out there, if you're eating blue icing. If you're eating blue icing, any blue food colouring, there's something about how it mixes with the bile in your stomach, it comes out a violent green. Well the yellow and blue. Yeah. A violent green.

But it, I was sitting there and I did an emergency Google. Yeah, because you're like, am I dying? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So when you forget you've eaten beetroot, and you're like, well, I've got cancer, obviously. That's why you put a little mark on your hand

every time you eat beetroot. So you just remember. So it's not a surprise. When you do your Swifter Blushens. Yeah. And it got us to thinking that maybe you've had an emergency Google. Oh, there's nothing more horrifying than an emergency Google. You accidentally put, do you do that thing when you Google things,

you put dots instead of the space between? Oh yes, and then it thinks it's a website and it doesn't Google it because it says there's no website with something dot something dot something. And you're like, quick, and you're Googling because you've spilt candle wax all over your carpet and how do you get it out? I know. We did the emergency google and found out we walked into a bathroom with new tiles with tar on our feet because it was summer and tar dots. I think it was margarine or butter one of the two. Oh really? You put it on and the fat like lifts up the tar and then you can just wipe it off. And we eat margarine. Yeah. We put that into our bodies.

We put that on sandwiches. Interesting. Wow interesting. What our mums do. Yeah they do. Did. Yeah. I can't remember the last thing I had, emergency Google. Red wine on the carpet or the couch, that's an emergency Google? I mean literally every lump and bump. Every mole, every time, oh, like cat. Remember the first time I touched Rolly and he had a tiny little abscess.

And I was like, my cat's gonna die. And I sat all night loving him. Oh, they get that sort of stuff all the time with the fighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because then I was like, I Googled it and it was like, no, that's a tumour. That's a tumour. That's a tumour.

Okay, so we wanna know this morning, what have you emergency Googled? Yeah. Maybe in the heat of something, there is an incident, an accident, whatever it was, and you panicked, you're Googling, maybe you got the right outcome, maybe Google sent you down the wrong track.

Someone did the same as you, but it was blue powerade. Yeah, I've heard that. Blue powerade. If you go a whole blue powerade, it'll rip through. Really? Yeah. Somebody has whatever good point, you would now chat GPT at, which I completely agree with. It's more succinct and it knows exactly what you mean.

Google's like, did you mean? But the chat GPT is like, I love this. Okay, so have you had an emergency Google emergency chat GPT? Yeah. What happened and why? And also I want to know like how off you were. You know what I mean? Like you weren't dying.

It was a mole. We want to know when you've had to do an emergency Google or emergency chat GPT. Because you've panicked and there's an accident or you need the answer to something super quick. Like maybe you're on the toilet late Vaughan and it was green and you're like, am I dying? Sit back down.

It was just blue. It was blue food coloring and and ice cream and cake icing. Yeah. So where do we even start? What do people do before, like Google and chat, did they just ask mum? Die. Do we just sit there and die?

Yeah. Let's take some calls. Okay, Samantha, good morning. Hey. What did you emergency Google or chat GPT? I think every new parent's gone through this, how to get pseudo cream out of carpet. Is it nappy cream?

Crazy with it, yeah. But pseudo cream's like a whole nother level of sticky and it's like chalky paint chalky painty thick it's like nappy rash yeah even when it gets on them you'd stick them in the shower and nothing happens. Oh I love this stuff it's so good for like dry old women like me. The girls were babies and they'd get nappy rash and we'd put it on the nappy rash and then if I got a little of the chafe, I'd chuck it on the chafe. Oh my god yeah. Oh you'd chuck it on the chafe would you?

Oh okay. So wait, so you're slopping this around. Willy nilly. Willy nilly and it gets in your carpool. No no, the kids like open up the cap and like go painting. Oh for god's sake. How'd you get it out? What did Google say?

Honestly I can't remember now, my daughter's like six How'd you get it out? What did Google say? Honestly, I can't remember now. My daughter's like six, but any new parent, I would recommend just make sure you have carport insurance. I don't remember about that. It's like that, make sure your insurance is up to date. Wow. Cetacreme, Helincreme, Zinc Oxide, 15.25%. Yeah, that stuff is, it's honestly like pain.

Samantha, thank you. Sade, what did you have to chat GPT or Google in a panic? Hi guys, long time listener, first time caller. Do you know my height am I? Welcome, welcome. Well, thank you. Well, I was driving along the other day and had to do an emergency Google

when I got home quite frantically because I had a genie lamp show up on my dash and I thought what the heck could a genie lamp mean? Darling, you were like What you mean the oil that's the oil container isn't it? Yeah I couldn't fathom and yeah, I'm 33 years old. My car is granted me three wishes. First wish.

As that light goes away. Yeah, was that your first thought? What are my three wishes going to be? Oh man, I would love three wishes, let me tell you, but no, it wasn't that exciting. It turns out I need to spend money on my car, which is... Yeah. Wish number one's new car. Those lights are never good news.

They're never fun, they're never like... Flashing lights to be like, doing great, hon. Yeah. They do need a light that pops up every now and then. Nothing's wrong, thanks. Nailing the driving, by the way. You aren't doing really good at life. Yeah.

Yeah. You look cute today. Yeah. Because my car has face recognition. Let's pause for applause. Does it? Yeah, it does. Yeah, yeah. But imagine if it was like we've recognized that it's Hayley moves my seat and also says by the way goddamn Looking good today. Looking good. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Uh, shawty thanks. Good luck with your wishes. Someone said I had to Google does prep really work?

Oh, I mean if you take it properly. That's the medication isn't it? The... That prevents HIV. HIV prevention medication. Yeah, yeah. By the way... Does it really work? Oh no.

Go to your doctor. Someone said everything when I was pregnant. I had to Google my child drunk petrol, now what? Ha ha ha ha. She only just goes straight to the hospital. Pump that, pump that. I had to Google what if I took the emergency contraceptive pill but I'd already conceived would I end up with a hybrid baby?

What a half, just half a? Just a half a baby. Which half, the bottom or the top? So you're pregnant and then you've taken the cancer and then just you get half. Would you go down the middle or top and bottom? Yeah, I don't know. You'd splice it down the middle, see, a bit of everything.

I don't, I just don't. One leg and arm, half a face, one eye, one ear, one nostril. I Google if I could jumpstart my car from a street side electricity transformer. I reckon don't plug into that. I don't reckon plug into that. Don't be touching that. No, we don't muck around with that. Any lump bumps, secretions, sound from a newborn baby, absolutely certain death was imminent.

And I Google very rarely put my mind at ease. Mm hmm. Ah. That's also just what you Google about anything that happens to you. I mean, a lot of times I've screamed at the doctor, swab it, swab it, swab it just in case. And she pulls the hair out, swab it anyway.

I had to Google how to get wax out of brand new carpet. We did this at Fletcher's Place once because I picked up a candle that had just been put out and spilled the wax everywhere. One's like, this smells nice. Pours it all on the carpet. He does sound like that. That's a really good vaunt.

Thank you, thank you. You've nailed that. Do it again. Just for those wondering, ooh, this smells nice. Oh my God. That's me. That's crazy.

Talk at the same time. You say it, you say, oh, that sounds nice. Oh, that sounds nice. This sounds nice. Yeah. Which one was which? I know, you can't tell, you can't tell. Oh my god. Do you know how you do it?

You put paper towels over the wax that's in the carpet and then get an iron. Oh heat it back up, soften it. And then it melts into the towel off the carpet. Va-la. Va-la. I think it's pronounced I feel like you're saying va-la wrong.

Va-la. No it's wa-la, W-A-L-L-A- wrong. Voila. No, it's Voila. It's Voila. W-A-L-L-A-H. Voila. Voila. And you really put the invincers on the R. Voila Davis. Voila Davis.

Voila Davis. She invented it. And one, two, three, Voila Davis. Voila Davis. I had to run. That's what we say now anytime we reveal something. Yeah. One, two, three, Voila Davis.

Voila Davis. I had bad hay fever, so I took two antihistamine tablets at the same time and someone said, you shouldn't do that. And I was like, what are you talking about? And they said, you'll have an antihistamine overdose. Who knew that was a thing? Survived to tell the tale. Is that a thing?

Yeah, Googled it. That's why you just take one. Right. You don't just up it. Yeah. Super glued my fingers together while gluing suede toe to point shoes. I ended up having to cut my fingers apart with a scalpel as in nothing that Googled

it. Nothing that Googled it. Oh no no no no no. I'd be going to A&E for that. Yeah. My ex-boyfriend told me that my blinker fluid was low in my car. I emergency Googled it and it turns out someone else thought that was a funny joke and had set up a Reddit thread about blinker fluid that everybody had bought in and on.

And so I went to Repco and asked for blinker fluid. And apparently they laughed also and said you weren't even the first person this week to ask for blinker fluid. Oh, so that's just everyone's, all the rep boyfriends. Yeah. Okay. I had to Google how to start and then move a combine harvester because I had to get it out of the way It was blocking something I needed out of the shed, but I'd never done one. What are you doing? I'm imagining there's just a start button and then it's like a car.

And you gotta lift up the hand. With blades. Chaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I could not even put my hand on the right thing. I felt a lump in my breast. Oh yeah. I googled, I was like, that's cancer. I went to the doctor, the doctor's like, no, you have what we call lumpy tits. But then that's better to be safe than sorry. No, I've got it too.

That's better to be safe than sorry. I've got it too, like kind of harder little lumpy bits. And you've got to get that checked and stay on top of that. Never squeeze a lump and don't get it checked. Don't get it checked. I mean, I did the doctor use the words lumpy tits. Do you know what I mean? Or did she use... Well, no, that's what the...

Textured breasts. I don't believe a doctor would say that. No. I don't think so. Somebody said, I was a small business owner. I had to emergency chat GPT how to write a formal disciplinary letter. Cause I obviously don't want to get in trouble further down the line. But I don't want to pay a lawyer to do this.

This is why so many people win payouts from their boss who told them to F off when they called in sick. Yeah, totally. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do today's this week's fact of the day theme

is sports teams names. And today we're touching on football teams from Europe. Soccer. Yeah. Got it. No, I got a point. No, there's not a point. Soc and Fletch.

Ha ha, keep up. There's no point, it's not like that. Just try it. I got a point, put it on the board. No, no, there's not. Hayley won Fletch zero. It's not points, I know you're sports. Next question.

No, it's not points. Okay, I'll give you points. If you can tell me about Arsenal, the football team Arsenal. Yeah, that's such an odd name isn't it? It is. I don't know. Fire. Arson. Not arson, no. It's about like ARSE right? ARSE, NAL yeah. Arson. You're proper arse like your bum bum. Founded in 1886 by workers at the Royal Arsenal Munitions Factory in Woolwich. So it wasn't, it isn't named after a place. It's named after the factory that they worked in.

They worked in the Arsenal factory building munitions. So they were putting together the arsenal for the crown. So they're named after the munitions factory, originally called Dial Square, then Royal Arsenal, and then now they've just set it on Arsenal. So they've got a cannon in their crest because that was what they were making at the time. Wow. Do you know, and thank you for allowing me

to talk about it, that marching teams actually started as factory teams because all the men were off at war and the women were working in the factories. So they weren't like teams, they were just factories and they learned how to do the marching. So they were all named teams, they were just factories and they learned how to do the march show. So they were all named after the factory they worked for. Interesting, because I thought you were meant to be making parachutes out of your pantyhose.

Yeah, I know, but instead we were doing some drill. What world war are we talking? Or was it, does it? Two. During World War Two, that's when women's marching really took off. In New Zealand. Turn around.

I know. Faffet. No wonder the Germans had us on the back foot for a moment there. No wonder they had the women in charge, and what happened? They I know. Faffet. No wonder the Germans had us on the back foot for a moment there. No wonder they had the women in charge, and what happened? They're walking around in the car parts. No wonder the Germans came ashore and took a couple of sheep,

cause you were all marching. Oh no, we were all marching. I should have been in the fact it was working. Was it the Germans or the Japanese that the submarine took a sheep down there in Gisborne? Someone. Someone. Someone.

Someone of the Axis forces. Cause you were all marching. Look at marching. Look at me. We were trying to keep healthy and fit. Tottenham Hotspur is the next one obviously from Tottenham but what the hell is Hotspur? Well 1892 is founded by schoolboys in North London and Tottenham in North London. Hotspur named after Harry Hotspur. Do you recognise him from Shakespeare? You've done a bit of Shakespeare? Hotspur? No. Harry Hotspur, a rebellious English knight from Shakespeare and also a figure of real history known for his fighting spirit. So there was the Hotspur cricket club and then when they founded Tottenham Hotspur, the football club, they just took the Hotspur part from that. Okay, lovely. So that's somebody's name, Hotspur. Yeah. Henry Percy, yeah. And finally Real Madrid.

When you see it written down, it just looks like it said Real Madrid. Yeah. And some people do say Real Madrid, but it's Real Madrid. Yeah. I thought it was Real Madrid. As opposed to, cause I actually support Fake Madrid.

Yeah. That's my team of choice. Exactly, that's what it feels like, right? Yeah. There was a team being like, we're the Madrid team, and they're like, no, we're the Real Madrid team. The Real ones. And they play in the Real Madrid uniforms that people sell on the street and in markets.

Yeah, the fake stuff. Yeah, Chanel and Gukki. So Real Madrid, Real means Royal in Spanish. And the club was given this title by King Alfonso the 8th in 1920. So Real Madrid actually means the Royal Madrid football team and that's where the Crest has got the crown on it. Well aren't we learning today? So we've learned a little something about football teams names today. Now do the Chiefs. The Waikato Chiefs. Do the Crusaders.

It's not Rugby Day. Do the Hurricanes, go. Why? Because it's windy in Wellington. That was so obvious. Year born, eww. To born again. Eww. How did that all just turn? I don't know who's the centre of this ribbon. I'm trying to provide some factual water cooler talk.

We do so much bullying it's hard to see where the bullying's even going. The bullying blues. The lines of the bullying completely blurred. Are we going to do a rugby week? A rugby day? Maybe. Random ones on Thursday. Oh yeah, then you're doing a problematic day?

There's problematic ones in tomorrow. Okay, yeah. I love being problematic. I think Thursday's more of the problematic day. Okay. But Wednesday does contain some problematic because it's NFL day tomorrow. Okay, lovely. Okay, great.

Yeah, I'm looking at you, Washington Rezgans. Are you doing any netball? What about the Mystics? You can't say that, they're called psychics. You know, or the Mystics. Netball teams do have the worst names. Do you reckon? I'll go on record and say,

Tactics, terrible name. Pulse, terrible name. Stars, terrible name. They're a bit glittery. Yeah, it's true. They're a bit faffy. Like do you think they need to go to animals like Cougars? Yeah, I love animal ones.

Yeah, yeah, I think animal ones are good. I mean, maybe not for a female team, call them the bloody Hamilton Cougars. Ha ha ha ha. Hamilton Cougars, up by five. Yeah. I would have gone for the New Zealand teams for the New Zealand netball team. I would have gone for like birds. Well, like the New Zealand Sparrows.

It's not sexy. But you could have gone the Canterbury Kiars, for example, because the Kiars live up in the high. No, but your Canterbury's with a C and Kiars with a K, that's going to look so off. Yeah. Yeah, but they're the tactics. We've had enough. What about the Canterbury's with a C and Kia's with a K, that's gonna look so off. Yeah. Yeah, but they're the tactics. What about the Canterbury chia seeds? Because...

What would it be chia seeds? We do foods instead. Right, what they grow. Canterbury chia seeds. So the Waikato tea would be the Waikato grass. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, absolutely. That's worse than tactics and pulse and mystics.

The Auckland iPhones, you know. Because that's what they grow. Because that's what they grow. So today's Fact of the Day is, I don't know, football stuff. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Literally I was about to tell you about my spell and I've just noticed I've had another spell. Tell everybody what you've done. Which one do you want to know first? I'll tell you the light one. So before the show today we were talking about what was going to be on the show and I was having a bit of a scroll.

And I accidentally somehow double clipped a Tic-a-Tec post. Tic-a-Tec or Tic-a-Tec, one of those places. And shared to my Facebook profile that the Chicago musical is coming to town. Which by the way I am fizzed for. Chicago is one of my favourite musicals. I've never seen it. All that jazz. Yeah I'm semi familiar with that. Right that's enough of a cultural point that I recognise that. So then I went to delete it from my social media feed and I ended up double sharing it. Ha ha ha ha! Aunty! What is this, your first time on Facebook? I deleted it.

I'm so embarrassed for your daughters. I ended up deleting the second one and then figuring out how to delete the first one. If you go down this road, you're going to start posting your search results as if you... I'm going to do a status update. Oh, status update. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How long should... Cups of flour to grams conversion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just somebody's name because you thought you were stalking them. Oh, yeah. That's a status update. Yeah. Okay, so I haven't done that yet. Okay, good.

But during that song that just played, I was like... Aren't you? It's weird, I went in, because if you're a parent, you'll know there's 12 apps for every kid. Yes, this is, so can you even. Everything's happening on apps. Can you even get out of class now

without your parents being notified on an app? No, no, no, no, you can't. Oh my God. And even if you, if you report your, if you somehow got into one of your parents' phones and reported your absence legitimately, Yeah. It tells the other parent.

Oh, okay, yeah. It's like, can you confirm this? If this doesn't look right, let us know, but if this is fine, ignore it, sort of thing, which is interesting. So I went in to, because August has got a school camp, so I went in to pay for the school camp. How much are school camps going for?

Dude, $500 for a week. What? Where are they going though? They've been getting massages. Are they going to Bali? Like literally you can get a villa. They're going to about four Ks that way. But they'll have like sushi and masseuses and stuff right and sort of meditation classes and yoga in the mornings I'm assuming.

I hope so. Does that include all the zip lines and all the sort of things? I think it's in everything. It's all in kids. I mean we're like oh my god but like we were kids ages ago. Do you know what I mean? When our parents used to drop us off at camp with a $20 no. Yeah, I don't know how much school camp would have even cost back in the day.

And they would have been relative. We went to Abletasman. They would have been relatively, for the day, expensive as well. Oh yeah, I think so. Yeah. Just when you say 500, you're like. So I went in to pay for the school camp.

How good though, they're gone for a whole week. Oh my God, man. Let's party Vaughan. What do you think? It's gone, they're gone Monday to Friday. It's still going to get up at four o'clock every morning. Yeah. There's going to be no partying.

We deserve it. We deserve a blowout. Monday to Friday. So then I noticed that the school fees were still outstanding. And I was like, I've paid the school fees. The app was telling you this. The app's like, and then while you're here, here's more money I want from you. You're hard up.

Did I pay enough in tax? And so I was like, I'm sure I've paid this. I paid this before the end of the financial year because it's a tax write-off. Oh, is it? School fees. It's a donation. Is it?

Yeah. So, I mean, you said that like, maybe you want a tax donation, feel free to pay my kids school fees. I was just like, how can I work this so I pay these tax? How could I work that out? You mean to, I could chip in too. Well, I mean, you've got to have children and then you just told you it costs $500 to send them school kids school fees. I was just like, how can I work this I pay these tax? How could I work that out? You mean to I could chip in too. Well I think you're gonna have children

and then you just told you it costs $500 to send them away for a week. I don't think that's a cheaper option to saving money having children. No it's a feature on your tablet I'm gonna get pregnant. No tax write off is gonna save you money on having children.

Which should I have to make a child, get pregnant, have it, and then to save a little bit of tax. It's not, trust me, you've got to, you've wanna wanna spend the money. We'd be better off studying a little bit of tax. Trust me. You've got to, you've want to want to spend the money. We'd be better off studying a loss making cupcake business. You do it. How much more of a loss making business better?

I know because we can do photos, we have social media of proof that we're doing the cupcakes every weekend. And we don't even care about customers. We just eat the cupcakes. Yeah, they're like, how much are you selling them for and we're like selling them. And the IRD just, we just offset it against our salary.

And then we're making money. Is that how it works? Yeah, pretty much. You'll struggle to find an accountant that disagrees with you. Okay, great. So I was like, it's telling me I haven't paid my school fees. I paid them on March 30th. What's our cupcake business called?

Oh, Fletch and Hayley. Cuck cakes. He's nailed it. It's so when you're in the chair, and we deliver you a snack. Okay, moving on. Moving on. No they've ordered a cupcake to room 159 of this hotel

and we're like we'll deliver. So I went back and found the transaction that I'd paid the school fees and I screen capped it and I emailed the office, the admin, and I said, hey, it says that it's outstanding, who knows how these apps work? And I sent through the screen cap

and they've just messaged back and the wording was... I've had a look at the screenshot, unfortunately that is not our account. These are our details. Gee, guys. Gosh, I hope you figure out who's account you just gave $225 to. Oh boy!

So I've googled the account number, it seems I've paid Indie School fees twice. Does that mean she's free next year? Am I getting that money back? Who knows? Probably not, probably not. So you've paid, okay. I paid. Right.

Could you bank it? For next year? Yeah. For a discount next year? No, because it'll go up. I don't know. It's messy maths and messy book keeping from there. It's terrible book keeping from you. For next year? For a discount next year? No, because it'll go up in the email. It's messy maths and messy book keeping from there. It's terrible book keeping from you.

Aunty, screw your bloody head on today please. It's just Aunty's had a spell. Yesterday I went and got some blood tests done. Just some regular checks on the old PCOS hormones. Okay. And I went into, oh, what's it called? Is it Awanui now? Yes.

Not lab tests. No. Yeah. They changed the name. Changed the name. Well, I didn't realise. I was like looking around for lab tests, hung around for that orange thing. Anyway, got in there eventually.

Does it mean big strain? Awanui. Anyway got in there eventually. It's a big strain Our new big. Yeah, cuz we know that Utenui the place that you drive through means big Willy big River guys our oh you do it our our yeah That's what I said. I like that you went to the white girl from Christchurch for that. But thank you I want to say just don't map up for the community Wait does Utenui mean big doodle? Yeah, it was a Nui. Yeah.

Wow. Funny, eh? I don't know, our new Pāwanui meant big house. Yeah, big rich white person. That's funny, Nui. Yeah. Big rich mansion. Funny.

Anyway, so I went into the blood testing place, and it was so busy. It was just like one of those times. Went in there, boop my little card, sat down for a bit. And there was a boy in there and he was sort of, the penny was dropping and then he turned to his mum and goes, you tricked me! I think he didn't realise that he was there

for his blood test. Oh no. Oh man, he was like, you tricked me! Have you seen the video of the kid getting the blood test and he's like, yeah, yeah, do it! He was like hitting himself, he was like, you tricked me. Have you seen the video of the kid getting the blood test and he's like, yeah, yeah, do it. He's like hitting himself, he's like, heck yeah, heck yeah. And his tears rolling down his face, he's obviously so scared but he's hyping himself up. Oh my god.

He's probably tensing himself so much or to hurt more. I mean, you've got to stay relaxed, which is, here's the problem. I go in, I was getting like a bunch of tests and I go in, sit down there and she just goes, I'm a trainee. And I was like, oh. Like how you are champ, go and get the old girl that can do it without making it. Yes, I want the old deer who just talks to you,

rams it in, sucks it out, leaves. She's been doing it for 40 years. Yeah, you don't even feel it. So the problem, so then, okay, she goes, I'm a trainee, is that okay? What am I gonna say? No. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say no. It's like, so then, okay, she goes, I'm a trainee, is that okay? What am I gonna say? No. No. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say no.

It's like when you're somewhere and they're like, do you mind if I get some colleagues in? And you're up in stirrups. Oh yeah. We just haven't seen this kind of thing before. Do you mind if I just get some colleagues in? No, no, no, this has happened to me multiple times. When I found out that I had a warped uterus,

the doctor was like, do you mind if I just rush upstairs and get my colleague? Because I've never seen one this intense. And I was like. But that's good because then it's learning for those other doctors. Oh totally, I don't really care. Yeah, you don't want them to be like, gosh, what an interesting looker.

You just hope they come with a compliment, then go, wow, interesting, never seen that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Beautiful, never seen it. Oh no, she didn't go get the old girl. I said that's fine. Yeah. Right. And then she's on the computer working it out

and she was like, which tests are you getting today? I was like, all the ones that you have just received. So is it this one there? I don't know. It would have just been sent from my Dr. Jane. It would have just come through. So were you getting the TW in the, in the art thing and the, I was like, I don't know. I don't know. That's your computer hon.

I was like, we don't get told that do we? I don't know what the letters are and what they mean and I was like, definitely that one. And I said, I reckon do them all. She was like, oh just. Do them all. Yeah, she was like, I don't know which ones you got last time. I was like, why do I, why, I don't know.

So I'm like not feeling confident. Yeah. And this is the same person that's about to just shove a very sharp piece of stainless steel into your- Yeah, and I'm like already a little queasy with, I give blood, but like, do you know what I mean? I get a little queasy with looking, so I- I always look away.

Try to regulate the breath so I don't get myself worked up. Wait a minute, we're supposed to give blood, I've been taking it. Well, we've been giving, so we're canceling each other out. Oh, God. For God's sake. I don't even know what those bags lying around everywhere full of blood.

I'm like, thank you. And it's like, too big a ease, too big a ease. Scooch. Some cheese and cream. Give blood, that makes more sense. Give blood, save lives. Yeah, you've been doing it wrong, man. Anyway, so then the time comes, she figures it out.

Yep. What we're testing. Okay. Puts on the little band, one of, has a feel around, that's all feeling familiar. You know, finds figures it out. Yeah. What we're testing. Okay. Puts on the little band, has a feel around, that's all feeling familiar. You know, finds the vein. I've got a good left arm, look at those ones. Yeah, juicy.

Juicy veins, look at that Georgia. Oh, that's, that's good. I actually remember an anethanatologist, what do you call them? Phlebotomist. Anethanist. Anethanist. Anethanist saying that.

I know, you're putting an extra N in there. Anethanist. Anethanist. Anethanist. Anethanist. Anethanist. I don't know... I know you've put an extra N in there. Anathetist. Anathetist. Anathetist. Anathetist. Anathetist. I don't know, I was going this way to Georgia.

An anesthesiologist. An anesthesiologist. An anesthesiologist saying I make a great junkie with my veins. Oh my God, you should try it. I said, I don't know if that's a good compliment. Oh my God, you should get a hero in a red hot boat. When you get really good at being a junkie

and that one collapses, you can go to another one in the camera. Oh, such a good junkie. Such a bizarre compliment to get. What a bright future he has. Yeah, really do. Well, I wasn't told to be a good junkie and that one collapses you can go to another one. Such a good junkie. Such a bizarre compliment. What a bright future he has. Well I wasn't told to be a good junkie but she had found she had a naff and then honestly she she rammed it. She rammed it and I found every inch of it. Did she give you a count? Do you remember we did this for a silly little poll do you like a countdown for an injection? Oh, I like little scratch or heck of a pinch. That's what I like,

because then it's coming at any moment still, but a three, two, one, I'm like, is it on the one? Or is it after the one and then you tense it? Are we doing three, two, one, stab? I don't like a three, two, one. Or do you like a three, stab one, got ya? Nah, just how are you, what's your hobbies?

And then you don't know. So what are you doing with the rest of your day? No, she didn't give me that. It was quiet, it was silent, she was unsure. I could feel her unsteadiness in my hand, in my arm. Right. And I felt, it was like she was putting in a like, like this, and then maybe I was a bit dehydrated yesterday.

Oh, you gotta be heavily hydrated. Thick slurry. The blood. You know when they're trying to get it out and it's like, ah! She was like trying to suck it out, and I was like,hhh! She's like trying to suck it out and I was like, oh my god this is the worst. And I was getting myself, I was starting to feel a bit sweaty.

Yeah. I feel like you would be a bit clumpy though. Yeah, I am clumpy. And she's like, big weekend was it? I do feel like the effects of my big Saturday night I was a little bit dehydrated in the blood. A bit thicker in the blood. Do you know, a bit thick in the blood.

Okay. Well she got it out. Oh pudding veins. Oh pudding vein sprout. But this is the thing, like everyone has to start somewhere. I know. I know, but just not my arm. I don't, you know what I mean?

Try on your mates a little bit more. But did she do all right? It didn't like. Has it bruised her? Cause I had the trainee that missed twice and had to get the other lady who missed and then got it on the fourth go. I was like.

And in the end I just punched myself in the nose and I'll be like, I'll just trip it in from here. Yeah. Just holding it there and be like, this is just so much easier. Bogus and Orlai. Yeah. Oh.

Who did you tell me that you were? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me, Vaughan. Oh okay. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close.

You haven't been here long have you? No I haven't. Well if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.