ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - June 30th 2025

Episode Date: June 29, 2025

Lotto wants to make it harder for us Fletch is a hiking poles biggest fan Top 6 things France will ban next AI generated band going viral SLP - What do you do if your food arrives first at a restaurant? Glasto recap Hayley left something at Fletch's Shannon's hack Where did you faint? Hayley flashing at gigs Most popular break up strategies Fact of the Day When did Mum or Dads move on with someone youngerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy school holidays. Yeah, Vaughan's into his second week of three week sickness. It happens around, normally May, June. Usually, to be honest I've done pretty

well not getting a cold this year. Usually I get a cold every six weeks, there was a while there. This is horrible I know, I apologize. Wow, it's something. Is it worse than my normal voice or better? I don't know, for some people it could be better. Right. It's really weird. Could you say something like, no don't you'll just trigger Hayley. It's too early for that. It's far too early. Good girl. Oh and there it is. Alright, that's my day.

I don't think the voice is better. I don't know. It's too wet. It's too flemmy. Yeah, it's too gravelly flemmy. It's fle wet. It's too flemmy. It's too gravelly flemmy. It's flemmy. Right you get on the lemon honeys. Another chance and it continues this week our game What Was That? Lorde. Chance to go in the drawer to see her live at Colorado's Red Rocks. Speaking of we'll talk about Glastow a little bit later as well. Oh yeah. God hell've got some friends there, seeing all the stories. Glaston, Clacks and Clines. Looks amazing.

The people that made the mouse launch. No. I swear, it's a sort of colloquialism for Glastonbury Festival. Oh, I get it. You know that huge music festival that's happened over the weekend? Yeah.

Who played? Lord did. Didn't she do a whole album? Rest your voice. Oh, should I a whole hour? Rest your voice. I think talk when you need to. Talk when you're spoken to. So eight o'clock your chance to get in the Draw to See Lord live with What Was That?

The top six is on the way. France has banned outdoor smoking at beaches and other public areas. Can you believe it? The French. The home of smoking. Well I've got the top six things those crazy French will ban next.

Next on the show though, Lotto Maxert wants to make it harder for us to win Powerball. I already have it won. It's already hard enough, isn't it? It's already hard. Play Zed M's Flashboard in Haley. Well, Lotto is already hard enough to win. I'll get the odd.

I've been trying. I'd get the odd. Fabiously no skill involved. I'll get the odd, famously, I'd get the odd, famously no skill involved. I'll get the odd 30 or $40 win and you know, I'll be pretty chuffed. Yeah. I only ever buy tickets when it's the huge, power ball prizes. I'm sort of now when it gets around the 10 mark.

Right. I'll jump in. You're like that'll get me out of a, I'll jump in casually. That'll get me out of a mortgage hole. Far out would it watch. Well, the Herald has revealed that they're reporting that lotto New Zealand bosses want to increase again

the number of balls in the Powerball draw. So when it first, I didn't know this, but when it first came out, there were eight, I didn't remember this, there were eight Powerballs. Yes. And then that was when it was first created in 2001. 2001 and then in 2007 it went to 10 Powerballs. I didn't know it had gone to 10 Powerballs. And then that's when we started getting those, do you remember there was a couple of 50 or late 40 million dollar draws?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know people go absolutely nuts. Well now they want to add another ball. So it's not- You're saying people are going nuts for the balls. So it's not, people do go nuts for the balls. Well, so currently your chances with 10 Powerballs of winning the Powerball jackpot are one in 38 million. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if they add another Powerball number, just one, that would make it one in 42.2 million.

So it's not adding another number in your line up, like you don't have to pick another number, you're just adding another ball into the blue ones. Like if you've got your regular numbers, and people do, they play, and a lot of people have played since Lotto started. I know, cause then you're like, the one week I don't, it'll be my numbers.

Yeah, I mean if you'd put that money into a term deposit or aggressive fund, you might actually have a million dollars by now or more. So they're just adding another powerful. That's the plan and that would increase the number of, I mean, it would make it harder to win. And in theory would create more frenzied $50 million or $40 million jackpots.

I think it's better when they're little ones that get spread out a bit more. No one in this country needs $50 million or $40 million jackpots. I think it's better when they're little ones that get spread out a bit more. No one in this country needs $50 million. You would say no to 50 million? I'm not saying, you've misconstrued me there. You don't need 50 million. No one needs it. I don't need 50 million.

I need like six. Just, you know what I mean? You reckon that would be the nice amount? You reckon that would be a- If you got 10, you're like, sweet, give a bit away, help a few people, sort yourself out, done. Right. Whereas 50.

Apparently a lot of people have been buying tickets because they have put out a lot of New Zealand's Statement of Performance, flagged a 28% growth in ticket sales over five years. Well, we go in, don't we? When it's the big ones, yeah yeah when it's the big ones. And you know everybody's struggling at the moment aren't they with you know mortgage rates and cost of living so yeah. So when you're sitting there eating your bloody $10

butter it is nice to dream about what it would be like. Play ZM's Flash, Vaughan and Hayley. We're actually talking about doing a little hike together aren't we? We are! I think that would be fun. Yeah. Cause you're a hiker, you go on like, I go on like, Day hikes. Day hikes. But have you ever done an overnight hike? Never, I've never stayed in a hut, ever.

Honestly, I know some people hate it, but it's one of the, we live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I know. And there's nothing trying to kill us out there. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, you go, You know, no bears.

Hiking to a hut. No lions. Yeah, no alligators, no snakes. No alligators, no snakes, no big spideys, no gorillas, no plenty of MOTH. I answer them. Some of the biggest. You guys have to protect me. We've decided we're going to do, we want to do a hike. We might go to the new hut that's being built. It's being finished. Yeah. We've found a weekend. Well, we talk about hiking because there's an article.

Genuine friends and I think you can hear it. Genuine. You can hear something. Christ, you need a lozenge? I'm sorry. What did you just say? Can you lozenge? Do you have any lozenges? Do you know what I forgot today?

That's my throat spray. Because I've been sleeping. Literally of all days to forget the throat spray. I know. How low can he go? No, you sound terrible. You sound terrible. Shut your mouth. We're talking about hiking because there's a great article

and it's about the hiking pole. This is great because over the years I have been relentlessly mocked for when I go hiking using hiking poles. Yeah because I thought they were just for the elderly. Although you know why, you know who gives hiking poles

a bad rep, it's the old people that walk around central Auckland streets and central city streets with hiking poles, it's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? It's a flat concrete surface. But I guess you get to that age and, you know, any little, you know, route or uneven surface could trip you up.

And you're gonna take a fall. And you're gonna take a fall. And they'll say, Nanny's had a fall. So my parents recently finished the you know the Spanish Camino walk, the big pilgrimage over there, and they took poles even though it's mostly flat. And I was like why are you doing that? You don't need them. I mocked them. Yeah. I was like oh good luck on the Camino! But they were like it just makes it so much easier on the joints and whatnot. And Fletch uses them as honestly one of the fittest people I know.

I thought it was to assist, you know, like if you were incapable. No, it just makes... It's really not. Yeah, so is this an apology? Well, it's not an apology. This article is... There's lots of research on the benefit of hiking poles. Not only are they lighter on the joints,

improved because you're not slamming so much, you're taking off a bit of weight, putting it into the hands and taking off the knees. Improved balance, make hiking feel easier, less sore muscles at the end. But they also actually make for a better workout, increases, there was a small study, increases the amount of oxygen and calories

that are used by more than 20% because it becomes a whole body workout, kind of like you're elliptical. Yeah, this is just a walk. When I've done like steep hikes, you feel it in the biceps because you're pushing into the pole, you're kind of pushing yourself up. Yeah, totally. So basically these walking poles do make you get fitter faster because it's a full body workout. OK, so this is an apology. The joints are happier.

After years of being mocked. You know that there's some research out. Put it this way, when we go on our genuine friends hike into the bush, you won't see me dead with the poles. No, I mean, knock yourself out. I'll give you one pole. It's not a hard hike, though, the one that we're going on. I don't you one pole it's not a hard hike though the one that we're going on. I don't want a pole. Okay. You can't see me with a pole. I reckon when I did the

the last hike I did the Heafy hike in New Zealand I would say nearly everyone had a hiking poles regardless of age. You look too hard out. 18 or 60, everyone had poles. I just think it's a bit serious. You know what I mean? We're just here to have fun. My backpack's gonna be clink, clink, clinky clink. You know what I mean? I'm just here for a good time.

What's clinking? Wine glasses. Wine, though. Wine. That's what's in my pack. You're gonna take like an hour longer than the rest of us to get there. I'm just sweating. How heavy is your pack?

We're only staying for one night. Clink, clink. We're as sweaty. How heavy is your pack? We're only staying for one night. Clink clink. Clink clink. Clink clink. Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley group chat, this is the top six.

Hi there. I'm Vaughan Smith and I currently have some sort of cold or something. Jeez, Louise. You better not make us sick before the holidays on Wednesday. Yeah this felt like, I mean I suppose we're on holiday after Wednesday but this felt like a day off. I'll say it. Nah just hold on till Thursday. If you don't come near us. Top six things France will ban next after they've banned smoking in public. The French. So not all public areas but the beach is one of them. The beach is one of them. It is yuck when

you're at the beach. Except it's most public of them. It is yuck when you're... Except it's most public areas. Yeah, it is yuck when you're at the beach and you smell a ciggy. Yeah, yeah. I'm just like... And I mean, you'd love a bloody drink dart. Party dart. A party dart. Yeah, but at a bar, not at a beach.

The littering's a massive aspect of it on the beach as well. Yeah, yeah. The filter's yuck. Oh yeah, getting up in the sand. That's gross. And also, it's a place for kids. At a bar, there's no kids. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, getting up in the sand, that's gross. And also it's a place for kids at a bar, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So on the beaches and parks,

again another great one, you're at a park enjoying nature. Yeah, have a bloody durry, I know what you mean. No, he's anti the durry. Oh sorry. I'm anti the durry. Oh yeah, I was like, yeah, how great is a party dad in a park? Also bus shelters and areas in the immediate vicinity

of libraries, swimming pools and beaches will be affected by the ban. Mmm. So it feels like areas where kids are. You could still sit at a cafe. Un cafe. Un cafe. Ah, but I've got the Top 6 Things The Franchial Band Necks After They've Banned Their Favourite Pastime Smoking. Okay.

Number 6 on the list, long hard crusty baguettes. No! No. No! Okay, this is controversial, but I find them too crusty. They hurt my teeth. I find them too chewy. Too crusty baguettes. No! No. No! Okay, this is controversial, but I find them too crusty. They hurt my teeth. I find them too chewy. Too crusty.

Yeah, they need to be dipped into soup, something to soften them up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fair call. But you know when it's just like someone's got a baguette and it's got like some kind of thing on it, at a party it might be passed around on a platter. Yeah.

Too hard. Too crusty. Too hard. It can jam into the top of the mouth really, really, really, really hard the entire day. Especially when you get the tip of the baguette. Oh yeah. Far out the tip's hard. Almost crusty. They can jam into the top of the mouth really, really, really the entire day. Especially when you get the tip of the baguette. Oh yeah. Fire out the tips hard.

Almost chuck it away. I like when they do like a savoury pancake-y thing. You know like a mini dot of pancake-y. Oh like a pikelet. Like a savoury pikelet. Yeah yeah and then they serve it on that. That's better at a party setting because it's soft. Those salmon pikelets. Oh yeah yeah.

Crunchy salmon, little bit of a caper. Maybe caviar on top. Number five on the list of the top six things. France or bear neck, stinky cheese. All right, just. Still have cheese, but just as long as it doesn't stink. As long as it doesn't stink. I'll stick to Edam, just something real mild.

Oh no. How good's Edam? Well it's less fat. I like Edam. I like it. A good day-to-day cheese, but if you're sitting down for a cheese board and it's Edam, that's disappointing... Oh yeah, now you wouldn't want to go on cheese. Oh, I know you'd be very supportive.

You want a bit of stinky blue. Mm. Lava stinky blue. Stinky blue. No one does a stinky blue like the French. Number four on the list. Just when he said that with that raspy voice, no one does a stinky blue like the French. Yuck.

It's a bit skin crawling. Yuck. It's quite yuck-borne. Carry on though. No offence. Number four on the... No offence, but you're so yuck. This is yuck. None taken.

Number four on the list of the top six things France will ban next. Ignoring people speaking English and then scoffing at people who attempt French. Which is one of their favourite pastimes in the world. I remember it well. I was warned about that before going to France and I was so freaked out.

You've got to try. You've got to try. But then they scoff at you. But then they completely ignore you if you don't attempt it, right? Yeah. Classic French. If you say hi, can I get a... they'll just like... no. No. No. Ah, number three on the list of the top six things France will ban next. Berets and stripy shirts as a fashion combo. Maybe with a neckerchief. Yeah. Well, I don't know how could they ban smoking in public? All of these things. All of these things are the foundational building blocks that made that great nation roll over and show Germany their soft belly twice.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things France will ban next are engagements at the Eiffel Tower. Oh imagine. Imagine. Oh my god where else are you going to get engaged? I think when I was there there were three. Jeez Louise.

Yeah. Get it, get it, get your own idea. Go and get engaged at the I was there, there were three. Jeez Louise. Yeah. Get your own idea. Go and get engaged at the Arc de Triomphe. Oh wow wow. Really celebrate a. Oh you drive through that, it's probably crazy. Yeah well just, you've got to just like frog it and get out there, it makes your engagement more exciting

running through traffic. True. And number one. Oh baby. Oh my god, get a lozenge. I've got a lozenge. Get more lozenges. I'm just going to be chain lozaging today.

Do you have any Manuka honey? At home. We need to get him a lemon honey ginger from across the road. Number one on the list of the top six things France will ban next after they've banned smoking and you know by this list a lot Of other things so typically French they're gonna ban the menage-toi Sacre bleu! When does that come into effect? Sacre bleu! Oh my god Suck her in her! Suck her in her! When does that come into effect? Suck her! Suck her in her!

Suck her in her! Suck her in her! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Something weird's happened in the music world over the weekend. There's a band that's gone viral and people are very suspicious. The name of the band is The Velvet Sundown. Here is The Velvet Sundown, very reminiscent of a very popular band. This is their most popular song, Dust on the Wind.

popular band. This is their most popular song, Dust on the Wind. They've got 372,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. It's actually about 474,000. Oh really? Over the weekend it's jumping. The reason people are talking about it is we're not sure that they're real. What? So their image on Spotify is heavily AI. Right. Also the name The Velvet Sundown, very close to The Velvet Underground. And even the song Dust In The Wind. On The Wind. It's Dust In The Wind, it's a very popular song.

Play some more, because people are like, it has that thin kind of hollow feeling of AI generated music This is drift beyond the flame But I mean that sounds like nights and white satin. That wasn't a bad. I mean it wasn't a terrible song It's not bad music, but people are going okay. It's all very All the metaphors in the songs a very AI generated feeling. The wind still knows our name is another track. This is all off the album called Paper Sun Rebellion. Yeah. They have no producer credits.

They list a band, none of whom have social media. Okay, which you know if you're starting a band, you're all on social media. Yeah, and all the individuals, their names, there's not a photo of them. And it's all kind of AI generated imagery of the band. Right. And everyone's wondering if this is just some kind of art piece in consumption. How we'll just listen to anything that the internet tells us to listen to even though it's fake. They come out in a wee while and say it's all fake.

It's all fake. It's all fake. It's very like... They were just like, it's just sort of hollow AI. How would you feel though if a song comes out and it just, you know like those songs that just hit you and it's so good. And it rules. And it rules. You know you're never seeing that live in concert. I know, but what? Like that's one of the greatest joys in the world. I know, but if the song rules right. Like I'm not mad at this. I'm not mad at this at all.

That's wild. So it's just like blown up over the weekend that people are like, have you heard this band, The Velvet Sundown? And I do think if you look at the image, it is straight up AI of like four hipster dudes kind of Kings of Leon vibe. Yep. Very like there's just nothing real about it. The band was formed by singer and melotron player Gabe Farrow, guitarist

Lenny West, Milo Raines who crafts the band's textured synth sounds and the free-spirited percussionist Orion Del Mar. They all sound made up names. It's so fake and there is just nothing. And there's no confirmation, everyone's like seemingly AI generated bands. Is there a music label? No and then when they do the credits, usually if you look at any artist on Spotify or whatever,

they'll have written by Taylor Swift, produced by this person, mixed by this person, da da da da da da, they don't have any of that. It's just like... Yeah, not real. It's not real. They're just saying... Does it say what country they're from?

No, they've just existed for two weeks, and now they have nearly half a million monthly listeners, and the theory is not real. Please. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little

pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. What do you do when you're at a restaurant and your meal is the first at the table? Do you start eating straight away or wait until everyone gets their meal? Or there should have been a third option, wait until someone says, oh please don't wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my one. Oh no, you get into that, don't let that get cold. If somebody's meal comes out, I'll be like, that is exactly what I'll say,

don't wait for us, get started. Start eating. Yeah. Like sometimes you can be waiting, I don't know, if you're out with a lot of friends, someone's meal always gets forgotten. Oh, I know. And then by the time like everybody's waiting,

it's going cold. I know, but 80s, 90s kids, you wouldn't until everyone had their meal. Oh god No, and then dad started Yes, first after and then you go Little grace or something. Yeah Well, 83% of people said I waited grace I waited 83% of people said I wait until everyone gets their meal No, no, no, no. I waited, 83% of people said,

I wait until everyone gets their meal. 17% of people said, I start eating straight away. Hoon, hoon in. Do you think that the people that answered start eating straight away was because their friends said, don't wait for us? Get in there. Some of them, some of them, yeah.

Stacey said, we always talk about it and establish rules first. No one wants to eat their food cold, so of course they shouldn't have to wait. I want a hot meal, says Zachary, but also depends on the company I'm with. If I'm using my full table etiquette and I'm all manners, I'll wait,

but if it's with friends or family, I don't give a shiz. Yeah, right. Oh, so if you were like on a business lunch, you might, I think I'd wait. I know, I'm happy to wait. Yeah, happy to wait because then, yeah. I don't wanna wait. Yeah.

Also, it's kind of weird if you're the only one eating with people that you don't know and you're just like... But also Fletch, you eat so fast. I do eat fast, yeah. So if your meal came first, you might be done by the time someone else's meal arrives. Seconds. Time to order another one. Order a second dish.

Same again, thanks. Keep them coming. Juliette said, I pray to God someone says, can you start with it? You can absolutely start without us. That's good stuff. Ah, Kayleigh said, who ruled it impolite to start eating first anyway that's a stupid manner and it needs to end she has spoken she has Ashley said I eat straight away because I'm a slow eater so I'm people always

catch up and I'm the last finished anyway oh my god slow eaters it's wild hey how do they like really slow it's like what are you doing? Oh my god no. Ryan said eat it hot as the chef intended it everybody else and I'd expect everyone else to do the same. As the chef intended. Wow. As the good chef intended. Have you guys started the beer season 4? No. About 5 Eps in real good. Yeah I've heard it's great. I'm loving it. That's today, that's today, that's today. I kind of start picking, said Sophie, in the hope someone will say please, start. Tessa said, if I'm not in a restaurant where we're doing something different called shared plates, then you should have some patience.

Something different. We do it differently here. Do things a little bit differently. Have you dined here before? Because we do things a little bit differently. Your meal isn't going to go cold in the five minutes, so collective dining can commence. As you say, that's rolling the dice on the rule that we're doing in five.

Do you count, um, like having a chip? That's what I reckon the pic, the pic a couple of messages ago. Or a little carrot. If you have like fish and chips or like burger and chips or something like that. Have a chip. When they have a couple of chips you start picking on the chips and they're like, please don't wait for us, get into our talk. No, no, no, I'm happy to wait. I'm just having a chip just while they're hot.

Renee said, I wait because I'm not a rude bitch. Ooh, wow. Rude bitch. Shot spline. She wouldn't even pick a chip by the sound. Fuck. Amanda said, waiting for everyone to get their meal is the stupidest custom.

You don't know how long everyone else's is gonna take. The first meal to arrive could get cold. The first one to get their meal could be the slowest eater. Just eat when your chi damn food turns up. Yeah, nice. So we asked you what do you do when you're at a restaurant and your meal is the first to arrive at the table and 83% of you said,

I wait until everyone gets their meal. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley. It's Glastonbury Festival. You've attended, haven't you? Live? No. You haven't? I've never been. Never been.

Oh, you've got it written all over you. Glastonbury. This just looks like it gets muddy in gumboots. Okay, it was super dry this year. Yeah, Dustin Berry they were calling it. See, this would be a year I'd want to go, but I've seen years when people are in their gummies and tenting and...

It was always that look, it was like Kate Moss and a pair of tiny little shorts and a raggedy hair and those gumboots, those flash gumboots. And it's all about the fashion. But this year's lineup is basically a who's who of great music right now. Charli XCX was there, Gracie Abrams was there, our girl Lorde did a pop-up performance,

which I thought was, she wasn't properly announced, but there were rumours. And then she did an 11.30 AM set inside one of the tents as a surprise performance and she played a whole new album start to finish. And I saw that she, cause I saw her doing green light and all that. Yep. So she did hits and everyone was just like, about Lord. Yeah.

And then another huge moment from day one, which was Friday was return of the wonderful beautiful We've chatted to him. Oh, it's so great. Have a listen to this last of it It's so good to be back I'm not gonna say much up here today because if I do I think I'll probably start crying second time to charm on this One everybody the last two years haven't been the best the best It's just amazing to be here with you all and I can't thank you enough for coming and seeing me. Lewis! Isn't he just the best? Now if you remember the last time he played Glastonbury a couple of years ago

he's played Someone You Loved and his Tourette's kicked in and he couldn't sing it. Yes. And so the audience sung it to him and he was like completely emotionally overwhelmed and then he so he sung it to him and he was like completely emotionally overwhelmed. And then he, so he sung it again and then the whole crowd word for word was just singing it again. And you could actually see him well up a little bit on stage as well. Yeah, that's why he was like, don't make me cry, don't make me cry. So good. So there's been like...

Also over the weekend, billboards around the country, the one I saw in Auckland was like Auckland, did you miss me? It's just a picture of him. From Lewis Capaldi. Yeah, I saw in Auckland was like, Auckland, did you miss me? It's just a picture of him. From Lewis Capaldi, yeah I saw that too. So new single out, and maybe does that mean like, is he kind of hinting at a tour? Surely. Because he cancelled his Auckland shows, didn't he, the last time.

Or is he like me and just likes to be told that, you know, I miss you when you're not around. And I've got a new single out today. And I've got a new single out. Yeah, maybe. I mean, who knows? Lorde's set looked amazing, like how cool. People went batty for it. So it's a great one, I'd love to go. I mean who knows Lord said looked amazing like how cool people went Betty for us

So it's a great one. I'd love to go on Sunday as well. So technically is it like right? Yeah, so it's wrapping up today Yeah, Loli Young played she was amazing as well. I think she had some like audio stuff. It's incredible lineup. Yeah 1975 play it's yeah, what a great what great 25 play it's yeah what a great what great celebration of British music well if you want to see Lorde at Red Rocks in Colorado the next chance to play What Was That is coming up at 8 o'clock but next on the show I'm gonna reunite Haley with something she left at my house. God's sake. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. Haley Messaged at the weekend, she said did I leave a hair brush at your house? That's how she speaks.

What kind of hairbrush? Um, do I leave a purple hairbrush at your house? Yeah. They don't actually know how I speak. That's actually a really good impression. I was like, I don't know, I'm at the gym, I'll look when I get back. But I got back home and I thought, you know what,

I'm gonna strip the bed, the spare bed. Cause I'd slept in it a couple of nights. Yep. And I was like, I'm gonna clean up and I'll look for the purple hairbrush. Yeah. Well my hair was a mess over the weekend. I had to go, I went down to Wellington for a gig and I had no hairbrush.

It wasn't in the bathroom. And so I had a look and I took all the sheets off. I looked under the bed. There were a few balls from the cat because the cat chases the balls under and then they can't get them out. Cute, cute. Yeah.

But there was no hairbrush. There was actually an attachment to the vacuum cleaner which I'd been wondering where that was. Which attachment? I did find that. Which attachment? It's the attachment that goes skinny at the end so you can do the edges.

Oh, like you said. That's my favorite. Is that your favorite attachment? Well it's the one that, yeah, can get into like windowsill when your window's runny and get the dead flies out. I'm a huge fan of that attachment. We've got big thick architraves, perfect for that. Oh yeah, good. window sill when your windows run and you get the dead flies out. I'm a huge fan of that attachment.

We've got big thick architraves, perfect for that. Oh yeah good, because I don't like the one with the brush. I like the one with the brush too for doing architraves and stuff. The brush, there's too much of a gap between the nozzle and the brush and so the air just goes around the side, it's not a good suction. They needed to sort that out, you need a thicker brush. I think the idea is that the brush would agitate the dust, loosen it. That's right, yes. And then it gets sucked up.

And then just the vacuum would get sucked up because it's lighter. Yeah, it's tatoed. Well, so I found that, but no purple hairbrush. And so I took the sheets off and I pulled the mattress back and that's when I found not the purple hairbrush, but something else Hailey had left at my house. Oh my.

Listen, listen. We're about to see it. Oh, you put it in a paper bag. I put it in a paper bag. Well, I wanted to protect it, so I thought Vaughan can open up and see what Hailey left in the bed, in the spare bed. It's a little wombat toy. It's a little soft toy wombat,

about the size of a guinea pig. It was in the bed. It was like in the bed. What's the story here? Well, you know that I sleep, I've slept with a koala bear since I was four years old. Yeah. But Koala is very old now and he's too fragile for travel.

And you also leave everything in hotel rooms. Oh my God, I know this is just like a long list of many. So this is Griff. Griff, okay. Yeah, this is Griff. a long list of many. So this is Griff. Griff, okay. This is Griff. It's got a name. Yeah. Griffity. I really wanted to tear the label off the end of it.

Oh, I know, but when he becomes old. Don't tear the light. Don't pull it. Don't pull it. Because it's stitched into his anus. So, because I- Trim it really short. When I don't travel with my kuali, I can't sleep very well. So when I was in Australia, I got a little reply, like a small sort of... I reckon a hiding would have fixed that when you were like...

Yeah, smack. Young. How dare you? No, kuali takes precedence, but I cannot sleep without it. And so when I sleep, I've got nothing to hold on to. So I got griff when I was in Australia. What about another pillow? No.

Oh, no, it's not the same. It's not big enough to snuggle. A soft little thing. I've always wanted a really massive wombat. You know in Australia at like the airports and the souvenir shop, as you can see, those massive wombat soft toys are like scaled one for one.

I've always thought that would be a fun thing to have. I think wombat's quite fascinating. A person once told me about how they've got a really hard protective layer on their back and when they're under threat, they sort of harden up and really protect themselves. I didn't want to hear this story at the time but they told me anyway. How so? I sort of became invested in the idea of a wombat.

Thank you for saving Griff. He's really been through a journey. He's got a name, yeah. Yeah because I actually also left him in a hotel in Sydney so he had to be shipped over. Okay sorry what? Wait so this is an internationally shipped wombat. Wait, how much did that cost? Well that would be no more than $10 in a hotel,

or did you pay the hotel? I think they just deducted it from my card on the room. For the hotel to send you the wombat. That is insane. But you can't abandon, imagine this small sweet soft toy. Yes you can abandon that. You can't just get another one for 10 bucks and you can't even go. She's left me!

Oh, good day mate! That's not how toys't even go. She's left me. Oh, g'day mate. That's not how toys go. Oh, she's left me in a hotel. It's not Toy Story. Oh, g'day mate. I guess if the stand up career doesn't work out, you could just do. I'll do a bit of, what's it?

Do a bit of ventriloquism. Puppetry with a wombat. Puppetry. Oh, g'day mate. Yeah, I don't know about that. Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley. Last time we did a Shannon's Hack, now you know I've been promising an intro because she got a five star hack for making butter out of cream. I haven't done it. But last time we did this, we got a text in from one of our listeners suggesting that we do a intro over top of Love Shack for Shannon's Hacks.

Because it's a Shannon's Hack baby. Yeah, like the song. And we thought, what a great idea. What a great idea and then sort of we went away and didn't do it. So I think we should have a little live, have you got a karaoke version? I've got Sing King, that's the YouTube user.

And don't worry cause you know, I've cancelled YouTube premium and I'm, I get a whiz ad every time or a wix ad. Wix. Okay. Yeah. I had to start, I've skipped that for everybody. Oh, good boy. But, wait, halfway through it could just start playing an ad.

I don't think so. No, it does when you're watching YouTube. No, I mean it is a karaoke video, it's not like a blogger's thing. Honestly, just pay for YouTube Premium. Yeah. Do you wanna log into my account? Do you know what I mean?

Do you wanna share an account? No. It's tough times. Like, could we do a family plan? Yeah, the three of us could all jump on, do you know what I mean? But we have to see what each other are watching on YouTube and just keep that secret.

Yours will be like how to turn wood. Rewire or something. Yeah, I don't want my algorithm messed up. Well, if we're gonna share a family plan, then we have to all accept that the video is gonna be, we'll join in. Okay, should we try it? Okay.

Shannon's hack, baby Shannon's hack. There, I'm obviously not gonna be, we'll join in. Okay, should we try it? Okay. Okay. Shannon's hack, baby, Shannon's hack. There, I'm obviously not gonna be- Why did you start it there? You came in so it's such a weird place. Why did you start it at the start? Not the start. Yeah, well, you build it up. Yeah, this is good. And maybe you don't sing because you're sick.

Side of the road that has 15 miles to the Shannon's hack. Shannon's hack! Shannon's Hack Baby! Great so I think this is gonna be the perfect intro. Yeah and then we'll jump to the bit Shannon's Hacks! We can get in the recording booth, Vaughan, when you're feeling better. Yeah. Although maybe we could use Vaughan's deep voice for the It's a Shannon's Hack Baby! Baby Shannon's Hack! Yeah. Baby Shannon's hack.

Yeah. It still sounds a bit weird. Shannon do you like where we're heading with this? I love this so much. Okay great, great, great. My new lullaby I reckon. As I fall asleep it might inspire me. Like us going Shannon's hacks.

Yeah, yeah it's good stuff. Okay. Well we're gonna work on that after the holiday break once Vaughan as well. Now you have promised us today a Shannon's hack about the cost of living crisis. I've reflected on all my hacks and I realised you give me better rankings when it's to help save you money. We like saving money here at the show. It's nice that you sort of listen to feedback, you know what I mean? I don't.

Yeah. Sometimes we get feedback and I say shut up. I almost go in the opposite direction. Yeah, I say, who do you think you are? And I'll double down on what they're complaining about. Yeah, you're not the boss of me. You're not my real dad. Well, yeah, times are tough at the moment for everyone

and we're all trying to find ways to make life a little bit easier. Well, some of us have cancelled YouTube premium. Well, exactly. So a bit of a... Some of us are sitting in economy on the way to Europe on Wednesday. Exactly.

You know? We're all making cuts the way to Europe on Wednesday. Exactly. You know? We're all making cuts. We're all making sacrifices. Yeah. So one of the most expensive parts of your power bill, I find, is cooking. Cooking can really zap up your power bill. It's hot water.

No, I'm on gas. It's hot water. And you're on gas for hot water as well. No, the oven isn't the oven expensive. Oven's expensive, the stove top's expensive, kettle's crazy, man, let me tell you. on gas. No, the oven isn't the oven expensive ovens expensive the stovetops expensive kettles crazy man Let me tell you Every cup of tea they are a hydrain device they are so I would say like heat pumps I don't have a heat pump that's what cost effective give a spa pool. I found my spa pools really

How am I coming out on this? Not great. Not super relatable. So a bit of a hack to help you save money while you cook dinner. Wait, sorry, sorry. I had to Shannon. I had to just do a check. In New Zealand it typically costs four cents a boil. Okay, well. Times are that tough, Fletch. Times are tough.

And you know she makes her bloody watery Maggie soups. Yeah. Yeah, okay. To dip her Nagis in. To dip her Nagis in. A classic Kiwi ditter is a spag bol. We can all agree. We can.

It's Italian, but we're very much made at our own. Yeah, it's kind of like butter chicken though, right? It's not authentic Indian food, it's Kiwi food now. Spaghetti Bolognese is definitely authentic Italian food. Maybe not the way we make it. Yeah the way I make it is very unique I think. Right. Anyway dinner time is expensive, pasta, man that kettle, crazy right we all agreed on

that before you looked at the price. My hack for you today is when you run your dishwasher cycle. No. No. To get a jar, like a Mason jar, a watertight one, and put in some raw pasta with some water. Now this will take up one little spot of your dishwasher. That's nothing. We've all got a little nook or cranny you could put a jar in.

Don't talk about my nooks or crannies. You don't know anything about them. And I want you to run your dishwasher cycle as normal and Biddy No Bingo, you've got clean dishes and pasta. Rather than taking 12 minutes or whatever it takes to boil pasta, you want me to put it in a three hour dishwashing. Whoa, who's running their dish washing for three hours?

Yeah, I have wondered about turning that down. Yeah, just one hour's enough. One hour is fine. 35 over here. I've seen someone on Instagram, I've seen someone on Instagram poach chicken in the dishwasher. Yeah.

Yeah. In a jar like. It was a classic episode of Home Improvement, Tim the Tall Man Taylor cooked a salmon in there. Oh, did he? Steamed a salmon in his dishwasher. Salmon I can sort of understand. Aren't they like chemicals?

Like doesn't the dishwasher- Water tight, water tight jar. I just want all of you to open your minds a bit. My mind is bursting. There is, there's always a bit of space in your dishwasher that is free to use. Wrong. And then-

Wrong, mine's down. Yeah, I stack mine hard before it. I go hard. I just think the idea of opening up your dishwasher, you've got clean dishes and cooked pasta. You then just need to mix in a little bit of sauce. You've got free dinner. Okay.

This is the worst, I'm going to say, it's one of the worst hacks you've ever given us. It's a zero. And I am almost wondering if we put off making the intro. You think we stay out of the booth? I almost think you'd have to do the maths on running the dishwasher versus just washing everything in the intro. You think we stay out of the booth? I almost think you'd have to do the maths on running the dishwasher versus just washing everything

in the sink, because surely that's cheaper. If it only takes a few cents to boil a jug, what's boiling pasta for a few minutes, you know? Yeah. Crazy amount, actually. I just think you've, yeah. In fact, if you don't mind your next cup of tea or coffee tasting a little bit wheezy,

you could actually just put the pasta in the jug and hold the thing down on the side. Yeah, you could. Yeah, but your jug's going to get that, um, starch. Yeah, wheaty, starchy vibe. Starch and then your cup of tea is going to be thick. Yeah. Pastry for the next few days. But starchy if you cup of tea.

Um, zero stars from me. It's a zero from me. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I'll also go zero across the boards there. Shannon, back to the drawing board on this. Do you want to kick the outro at a good point there, Vaughan? What do you mean? I don't know why we try, you know, so we can just be like,

that was a Shannon's hack. No, it's about here. Okay, all right. That was Shannon's hack. No, that's a tale out of the song. This is a terrible place. Shannon's hack. Baby, Shannon's hack. You're putting in as much effort hack, baby Shannon's hack. You're putting in as much effort as Shannon put into that hack.

Yeah honestly, but that hack warrants this outro to be fair. That's what's warranted. That was actually like the perfect out. Shannon's hack, baby Shannon's hack. Shannon's hack. Bang, bang, bang on the door baby. Shannon's hack, baby. Shattentack on the door baby Shattentack

Terrible Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley In Canada there has been an MP that fainted and it was all caught on camera. Oh gosh. Thank you very much and oh shit. Oh shit. I felt it coming. As someone that's fainted, I don't love it. It's a weird feeling.

It's awful. Okay, we've gotta go again. Yes. Thank you very much and oh shit. Oh shit. Like just ate it. Ate it. It is such, it really, it comes over you so quickly. Yeah. And you have, then you just lose all control.

I don't think I ever have fainted. I fainted a few times. Once I had a chipped tailbone and I got in a hot bath and I had had all these painkillers and I stood up and just hurt the deck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the heat and pain. Yep, and the standing up often triggers it. Somebody knew we were gonna be talking about this.

They messaged me on Instagram saying, please enjoy page one of my six page note that I've been taking since 2016 because I've got a heart issue that causes me to faint. Oh wow. Oh no. And in front of a whole school while collecting prize. When presenting it, when doing a presentation in class.

In the middle of a club when Rasputin by Boney M played. I mean it was a banger. Pretty sure I did the dance. In front of a moving car in a car park. At work into a food bin. Whilst having fun times with someone, they thought I was dead. Oh no, fainting mid-quitis.

Naked in the shower to then be found by a university cleaner when he came to clean my room. Half way through a hockey match, in somebody else's chunny after a night out. Off the toilet with my pants down. Chunnies. On a train after saying I was okay to someone because they said I looked a bit peaky.

Face first into a random man's crotch on the street. She headbutted some dudes, C and B. Wow. And both of them were in pain. On a plane where I slithered off my seat into the tiny space on the floor on Ryan Air. And when I came around I was stuck in three-peat wait to pull me out because I'd gotten in.

Well that's how close the seats are on Ryan Air. That's page one of six. Geez. She'd have to wear a helmet. You'd think she's in a helmet. You'd be wearing a helmet. Or one of those, you know, rugby, those rugby head things. Yeah, the soft ones.

The soft ones. And maybe put a beanie over it so it doesn't look like you're wearing a rugby. Or you could put a wig and just look like you've got a really big head. Big head. You know what I mean? Big head, thick hair. Because yeah, you'd be Odyssey all the time like that.

That's crazy. Well, this is what we wanted to ask this morning. 0800 Dalsadam, 9696 to text us. Where have you fainted? Where did you faint? Was it embarrassing? Was it in a public area? Yeah.

Or was it shame? I remember seeing it when we at high school had to dissect cows hearts. Oh yeah. And a girl panicked and just saw it and went like, and I remember like just her hitting the floor on the way down though she eyeballed me. You know, it was like connected with me

and I was like, ah, Chris, get out. Science, did everybody's science rooms in high school have the tallest doors? Yeah. Why did they do that? Cause I mean, maybe you could stand at the desk, but also it was the class where everyone fainted the most. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was all yuck.

There was a lot of yuck stuff. Is it so if you spill like hydrochloric acid on the table, it kind of... I don't know. Does it go straight on your lap? Yeah, yeah, maybe. You have to stand up to do it, I don't know. Why is that?

Don't know. That's so weird. But they were the highest stools in the room where people fainted the most. Yeah. I fainted at the back of the barbershop choir singing Mr. Sandman, because it was 2003 the highest stools in the room where people fainted the most. I fainted at the back of the barbershop choir singing Mr. Sandman, because it was 2003 and I tried not eating

for a couple of days. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, gave it a go. I was going to say a lot of fainting stories start with not eating. Yeah, you hit the deck and you're like, what have you eaten today? You've been running around all day, you haven't eaten,

and all of a sudden you're fainting. Oh no! Some great stories already coming through. 0800 dials that ever's the number, you can text her 9696. Where did you faint? The sentence, she went down like a sack of potatoes. Just came through the text machine.

Where did you faint? We wanna know where you fainted. There's been a high profile fainting in Canada. A politician. I think we need to listen again. Thank you very much and oh shit so he would have stood up to speak right and then just gone yeah and maybe I don't know it hadn't eaten that day yeah stood up too fast yeah happens to the best of us um some messages and I'm a real estate

agent and I was 38 weeks pregnant and fainted at an appraisal I broke my sacrum in two places and had to give birth with a broken back. Oh my God. Give birth. I fainted after I gave birth getting out of the birthing pool. Bits out and everything just flopped out of the pool. Yeah, that makes sense. Tracey, where did you faint?

I didn't faint. So my sister and I were in a huge fight. First fight. Yeah. First fight. Alright Tracey. Tracey, how old were you Tracey? We were about, we were in our teens I think.

Okay. And so we were full on arguments and fist fighting and next thing we look and her best friend was in the cupboard fainted. Outpoured. Tracey! Was she hiding in the cupboard to get away from the fight or did she fall into it when she fainted? No she actually fainted because it stopped us dead in our tracks basically. Dead, dead. And we both looked at each other, looked at her and then

we went and helped her basically. Right. Okay. And you put your differences aside and okay. Do you still fight now? No, we carried on. Oh, we carried on. Right. So once she was fine, you got back into the fight. Yeah. Do you still fist fight your sister? Do you still punch her when you see her? Well, sadly, we don't talk at all. That's sort of the natural progression. Sorry Tracey. Let up to that long term. Sorry to bring that up. Tracey's just like, I'll just give anything to...

She put your foot in it there didn't ya? Really give anything to punch that bitch in the throat right now. At least there's no physical fighting now. Yeah yeah yeah. Just a cold shoulder. I'm gonna punch that bitch in the throat right now, I thought I'd miss her. At least there's no physical fighting now, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a cold shoulder. Tracy, thank you. Rachel, when did you faint?

Where? I fainted, oh firstly, long time listener, first time caller. Hell yeah, Rach. You nearly forgot, Rachel. You nearly forgot. No, my, hi, dear mine. Hello. I fainted in the middle of the London dungeons.

Oh my god! Oh, wow. With my husband walking around. It's quite dark in there. I'd left my jacket on and we're looking at these disgusting torture tools. And next night I said to my husband, not feeling great. I think I'm going to faint.

And he bloody dropped me. Oh, for God's sake. He didn't catch you. Not feeling great. I think I'm gonna faint and he bloody dropped me To like this circle of people looking over top of me from the tour group and these horrendous looking torturals from like the 16th century Yeah, not that not the greatest place to wake up in. Yeah, not really. In a dungeon? Shame. Nah, don't recommend it. Haven't never finished the tour either. No, no, get me out of there. Yeah, not the worst thing that happened

in that dungeon though. Yeah, no, no. Rachel, thank you. Keep your texts coming in, 9696. Oh, 800, dials it in. Where did you faint? Sanatabrazu. Thank you very much and oh shit.

Oh shit is my favourite. So many messages. He knows the jamming. So many. Oh babes. I tried to talk but my voice wouldn't play. Well you know what? At least you turned up at work.

I tried. My son fainted in front of thousands of people at the Anzac Dome Parade. He was front and centre holding the pole with the flag. I remember seeing kids go down when they had to stand still for a long time. Well, it's an early morning for a lot of kids that don't get a chance to have their Wheaty Bix.

Yes. My mum and dad taking them straight off to the parade. Yeah. It's a foreign time. We have heard from a phlebotomist who says that we faint as daily. Yeah, I bet you do. Always the boys.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I fainted giving blood that time. I was in that lay back chair and I think they went to set it up and I was like, ooh, and then they laid it back down. Christina, where did you faint?

Hiya, guess what? Long time listener, first time caller. Oh my god, welcome. You got pulled in a row. And don't let it be the last please. Yeah. We'd love to hear from you. Whereabouts were you when this happened, Christina?

So I was on the plane on the way back from my honeymoon, half way over the Pacific Ocean, and got up to go to the bathroom and then hit the floor and bit through my lip, broke two front teeth, had a black eye, whiplash. Oh my god. Jesus. You bit through your lip? broke two front teeth, had a black eye, whiplash. Oh my god! Jesus!

You bit through your lip? Yeah, I hit the middle floor and I guess my teeth went through my lip. Right, was that enough to get you an upgrade? We still had like another six, seven hours to fly. Okay, is that enough to get you an upgrade to business? Yeah, business upgrade. Like was there a free seat? No, I got put in the back row. Oh, well they downgraded you, that's a downgrade.

But did you get to lie down across the whole back row? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, that's right. That's hard to have. It's like economy business, they call that. Do you have a scar from this? I do, yeah, under my lip. Was it enough to get them to bing bong over the thing

and say is there a doctor on board? Yeah, I think they did actually. Oh, cool, cool, cool. So good. And it was enough that I didn't have to like clear customs and stuff when I got home because they just took me off the plane and to an ambulance and hospital.

Wow. Wow, that's crazy. And now obviously when you fly, you wear a mouth guard. Yeah. Just to be safe. Yeah. Wow, Christina, thank. And now obviously when you fly you wear a mouth guard. Yeah. Just to be safe. Yeah. Wow, Christina, thank you. Some messages in. I fainted during my vasectomy.

Oh. Tapped the, um, the doctor tapped the second nut during the procedure and that was me. I was out. Tapped the second nut. Was he doing like a, no, no. I don't know. What do you mean he tapped the nut? Why is the doctor touching the nut? Don't know.

Lights out. Worst thing was the doctor who the nuts? Don't know. Tap, tap. Lights out. Worst thing was the doctor who was doing the vasectomy's name was Dr. Cock. Oh God. K-O-C-H. And I said to him, how's that pronounced? And he said, exactly how you think it is.

I mean, yeah. I mean, I guess it's your only way if you're a doctor. That's what you have to get into, right? Yeah. Yeah, you can't be a bloody gynaecologist if you're Dr. Cock. No, I was home. Can you?

It's quite funny. Yeah I know what the name of the business would be. Fanny, you need um. What would the name of the business be? I'm not going to say it on air, I think it would be. Okay too rude. Too rude. Okay.

I was holding a horse that was being gelded. It means it's nuts we're getting shot by. And I fainted. Just everything was too much for me and the vet was laughing at me when I woke up. I fainted on the Superman ride at Movie World on the Gold Coast. Oh my god I love that ride! I fainted just as we went past the cameras. We were trying to look cool having fun and I was slumped over. Great.

Yeah they know where they're placing the cameras on those rides. Yeah so good. I fainted getting my IUD out. I woke up to the doctor shaking me while I was spreading with no pants on the floor in the office because I fell out of the- Oh, for God's sake. Was it Dr. Cock?

Was it Dr. Cock? You can't acknowledge us. No, it was different. Dr. Fanny. Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Fans. That's his wife.

I mean, they had to get married. They just had to. They had to, Dr. Fanny and Dr. Cox. And she kept her name. Her last name. And his name's Richard Cox. And her name's Min Jones. That's inappropriate. Apologise to our listeners now. I'm sorry everybody. I'm sorry to all especially. It's all the cold and flu meds you've got. Have you taken some of those David Seymour? I haven't I was thinking about putting them on. Go get some David Seymour Methamphetamine.

Pseudo, go get some meth. Does the show sponsor do those? Yeah, go down to Chemist's Warehouse, they'll sort you out. Also, while you're there, you can save 20% off the NYX cosmetics range. That'll be good for that pimple there. I know, I do have a pimple on my forehead. You've been picking that haven't you? No I gave it a soft touch shift. He squeezed it in the lift while I was watching. Yeah I said I'll give that a little squeeze.

Oh this would be awkward. Walked a girl home to Mount Eden from the viaduct after a night out. Oh that's too far come on. Got no money. She asked me if I wanted to come in for a tea or a drink or something like that. A tea? I imagine it's one in the morning. Yeah, just for like. No, I think she wanted to say the D. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. I asked just for a glass of water. My stomach instantly turned upside down after the water.

I asked where the bathroom was. She then proceeded to show me where to go. I took two steps and then woke up to her looking down on me and asked if I was okay. I said, of course, are you okay? Not realising I'd just fainted, fell face first into the wooden floor. Now my eyebrow was split and leaking all the blood.

I still got to stay over though, just to be safe. Oh yeah, good play actually. Yeah, you can't leave me alone. I could have a, you know, an aneurysm or something. Yeah. Someone said they fainted in the shower while having adult fun times. Oh, because of the heat. The heat, the heat, the heat.

Heavy breathing. Ches said I was supporting somebody else getting their first Brazilian wax and I painted the past out. Oh yeah. On the inter-Islander in the cafe, I smashed my head on those metal trays. You know the bars that you slide the trays along that are in bakeries and such?

Yes, yes. And a line packed like sardines to the clubs in Dunedin as a drunk student in the peak of winter I fainted. Oh goodness. I fainted at the chemist when a lady from the veggie shop next door came in with her hand sliced open and it was all flappy. My bestie.

Oh my God, why did you say that? And also, you don't go to the farm, you go to the hospital. You've got a flappy hand. You know, what are you going to the pharmacist for? Less, they're probably gonna go in there because the line's shorter. They'll be waiting here.

The sitting area of Chemist Wear has got a 50% of flappy hands. Oh! What is this? Oh, I actually made this. That is disgusting, eh? I feel upset. During a full body spray tan, they dragged me outside to get fresh air and wake up.

Oh my gosh. Well, I was, you know. Were you like half, oh God. Were you half bronze? Maybe they hadn't done the front yet. And are you still naked? Yeah, well it's hasn't. Yeah, you know, brown. Do you, were you like half, oh god. Were you half bronze? Maybe they hadn't done the front yet. And are you still naked? Yeah, I was. Yeah, you're completely nude.

How embarrassing fainting naked. Play ZM's Fleshborne in Haley. I performed in lovely Masterton on Saturday night, actually, at the Copthorn Hotel, where I stayed once when I was like seven. Right, do they have a little venue? Do they have like a- Yeah, like a function room. A like seven. Right, do they have a little venue? Do they have like a-

Yeah, like a function room. A function room. Yeah, function room, and they set up a stage. God, the people of Masterton, they came out to laugh. God, they came out to drink. Did they? It was so great. Love a night out.

Oh, it was good fun. Good day. Chatty Cathy in the front though, yeah. Oh, did you get heckled? Oh, everyone got a little bit of a heckling from this. She was just having fun. She sounds like a pain in the arse. No, I enjoyed her. Did you hit the pool? Had the Copthorn Solway Park? I did at another comedian Cajun Brookings. He had a swim in the outdoor pool, very cold he said and I said yeah. Sometimes a hotel pool or spa can go either way.

You know, it's like a lot of people have used this. Do they keep up the cup of chlorine a day? I don't know that they do. Do you know what I mean? I don't know that they do. Who's fishing that plaster out there? Yeah, I left a bandaid in there. Well, I've just got out and there's a long hair on me.

Oh, that's not mine. Yeah, but I've been gigging a bit recently and this is the third time this particular thing has happened. Okay. Now I love it genuinely when our lovely ZM listeners will stick around afterwards and come and say hey and let me know. A couple of ZM lesbians came and said hello. Wow. We are the chosen radio station for lesbians. Fantastic. Factual.

They came and said hello. Of course, also Haley loves when people come and stick around because she loves being showered with affection and compliments. Show it. I love it. We listen to you every morning. I bet you do, babes.

This is the third time this particular thing has happened and I got myself in a, this is probably the worst situation out of the three times in Masterton on Saturday, is people really want to see my new tattoo of Vaughan as a cowboy on a horse. And because it's winter and I've been doing winter gigs, I've been wearing pantyhose.

Okay, despite the fact that there's quite a few wars on and we do have to ration pantyhose. Because we're gonna have to make nylon parachutes out of them. We've gotta make parachutes. I know, I know. For the D-Day invasion. Well I've been wearing the same pair of pantyhose. Speaking of which, I will remind everybody

Prime Minister Winston Churchill on the show soon. Yes. To get his take on the situation. This hot take on this Adolf Hitler that we're hearing such terrible things about. Can you imagine? Terrible things about lovely uniform. Like it was modern day and like Winston Churchill's

on TikTok trying to get through to the younger version. We will fight them on the beaches. Beaches, beaches, beaches. And here's a little TikTok dance. He does a remix. We will fight them on the beaches. Fight them on the beaches. On the beaches, on the beaches.

Because it's war time, here's a three ingredient pancake recipe. Flour, water, sugar, on the beaches. Mix them. On the beaches. On the beaches. We will fight them. We will fight them. on the beaches, on the beaches, on the beaches, on the beaches, on the beaches, on the beaches. On the beaches. Get em boys. Get em boys. Get em boys. Find em on the beaches. Get em boys. No thank you Mr Hitler. Find em on the beaches. On the beaches. On the beaches. On the beaches.

It writes itself. I mean, it just really does. So some listeners came out to me again on, it was on Saturday that this happened in Masterton. It happened at Goblin Girls, this other comedy gig on Thursday, and it happened at a gig the week before, all in which I was wearing pantyhose. Do you know why though? It's because people, even at the time, were like, that's vivid, it's fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. She's on there. So because people are so curious to see it, I'm like, absolutely. Now the other comedians are like,

hey, we've got to go get a photo outside the Copthorne sign. The staff wanted a photo. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And I'm there and I just lifted up my little dress that I was wearing and I pulled down my panty hose to show people like this. And I turned and as I'd lifted up my dress to get the top of the pantyhose down, when I pulled the pantyhose down,

the dress didn't come back down and I was wearing a G banger. So I'm turned like this. I turned like this and the girls were looking at the tattoo. Is this Lesbians? No, no, no, no, different group. I was trying to work Zed in it. Lesbians, because on our logo, the Zed, the M has kind of got a flick,

it looks like an L. The Lesemians? The Lesem-ians? Yeah. Lesem-ians. Right. No, no, no, that was just a different group. But then I sort of looked out and then I went-

That's absolutely upsetting for the lesbians. They would have loved to have maybe seen that. Yeah, they might have. But I had a whole cheek exposed and I looked sort of back and there then I went... That's absolutely upsetting for the lesbians. They would have loved to have maybe seen that. Yeah, they might have. But I had a whole cheek exposed and I looked sort of back and there was a guy at the bar who was like, definitely trying to... Not look.

Not look, but look. And yeah, it was a bit kind of awkward. So I like that people want to see it, but this is the third bar in which I've had to pull down my pants to show people. Rest assured, it is a real tattoo. And I apologise to that man for seeing my nose.

He really, he just came for a laugh. I thought he just saw a cheek. Now you're telling us he saw the whole shebang. Yeah, but I was in a bend like that so they could sort of see it. I think we might've. Connected. He got cheek and crack, I think.

And I apologise to him for that. If this was World War II, you'd probably have to marry him. Yeah, probably. Where would I marry him. Yeah, probably. Where would I marry him? On the beaches. On the beaches. On the beaches. On the beaches.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Here's some research about the most popular breakup strategies. So not the most mature, not the most well thought out, but the most popular forms of breaking up. And this is quite fascinating because this looked at a bunch of studies and then put them all together.

Yeah, that's right. And they identified 45 distinct ways that people try to break up with their partners. 45. Was my one on the list, leaving a canoe on the side of the lake and disappearing? Not this piece of it. Disappear at Ghosting is on there.

Yeah. It's a really nice canoe. Yeah. So... Oh yeah, because then they'll be like, he loved his canoe. Well, he spent a lot of money on his canoe. Yeah.

Like, he wouldn't have forced it. Of course he wouldn't have banned it. Why would he want the canoe? Just one of those open ones, like we did on the Whanganui River that time. Beautiful. Canoes feel tippy to me. You might be talking to a kayak there.

No, that was an open canoe. Wasn't that a kayak? Or was it a kayak and an enclosed canoe? Kayak's enclosed. Can we get Lisa on the phone? Carrington. Carrington. She is a kayaker.

No, she's a... She's a canoeer. She is a canoeer. I'm pretty sure it's enclosed though. No, hers isn't enclosed, doesn't she sit at the top? And she puts a little thing around and buttons it up. No, she does the K thing. So maybe she's a kayaker.

This is like calling someone Asian and not knowing which one it is. Do you know what I mean? I probably wouldn't have gone that far. I don't know if it's that part. It would be like calling someone Oriental in the modern times. Oh, you said it.

Now have Wellington changed to Oriental Parade? Despite my petition. We say obey. We say obey. I say obey. Just so I don't wanna be cancelled. We say obey. Okay.

So 45 breakup methods. And O Parade. O Parade. I'm on the parade. I just say the parade. The parade. Researchers grouped 45 breakup methods into nine strategies. These are cold and distant, explain the reasons,

ghosting, take the blame, unfaithful, time off, see you as a friend, we'd be better off apart, and avoiding ending it face to face. So that's your phone, your phones and your texts and stuff. All of those would hit home for people listening. Absolutely. Those are absolutely the classics. So of the 45 Breakup Methods,

they're put into these nine sort of smaller categories, and here were the top three most popular. Okay. And third place, avoidance, avoiding confrontation. So this is ghosting, you're texting, you're calling, just sort of like avoiding any confrontation. Or even text and communication would just peter out to nothing. But gradually becoming distant as part of that.

Still used, often linked with conflict avoidance or emotional detachment, just sort of fading away. Wow. Yeah. The second most popular was taking a break. So suggesting sort of, you know, temporarily taking a break to soften it. If anyone ever said taking a break, that to me would be like, it's done. Yeah, serves as a transitional strategy.

Just say you don't want to do this anymore, you know? Easing into a breakup or avoiding making impulsive decisions. So go, I'm not sure, but I think maybe I don't wanna be with you anymore. That was the second most popular. Okay. The first, the most popular and first position is softening the blow.

This is the most preferred method involves being honest, taking some blame, but sharing it, presenting the breakup as a mutually beneficial thing. And this actually reflects emotional intelligence sharing it, presenting the breakup as a mutually beneficial thing and this actually reflects emotional intelligence and a desire to preserve dignity and reduce emotional harm. So like that being the most popular is probably the best because that's a bit like it's not ghosting is not softening the blow. But how do you soften the blow? Like do you say okay we need to have a chat?

Yeah basically little chats, little conversations, easing into the idea of this breakup. Now the difference between a kayak and a canoe, I know that's the burning question in most people's minds. Okay, go Vaughan, we'll cross now to you Vaughan. The paddle, for example. Have we got Lisa on the phone? Dame Lisa.

Lady Dame Lisa. Lady Dame. Double bladed for the kayaking, that means there's a, on the paddle, there's a paddle on each end and you do both arms. Canoeing, single paddle. Yeah, that's what my canoe has. Seating position, and on a kayak,

you're seated with legs extended in front of you at the same level. On a canoe, you're either kneeling or sitting on a slightly elevated bench. I like the kneeling on the sitting on the bench. I can't sit. My legs get sore. I can't sit straight legged, straight back

for very long or other. No, neither. I'm too tight in the ham. Yeah, same. Yeah, too tight in the ham. Because I went kayaking once in a sea kayak and then I couldn't get out of the kayak because my legs were so sore.

Because I'd be so strained. Right. Now the kayak also has a closed deck often, meaning that you sit in and it's closed in around, whereas canoeing is open topped with two or three sides. Yeah, see that's what my one is, it's a canoe. Sporting, solo or tandem, faster water for your kayaking, leisurely family activity, often calm water for the canoeing

and water entry, you sit in a kayak whereas you sit on top of a canoe. God, this break has really had something for everyone. You know? Yeah. If you want to break up with a person but you're not sure which boat sport they do. Boy, was this the segment for you.

You now know what boat sport they do and the best way to break up with them. Yeah, wow. Next on the show, it's Fact of the Day and there's always a theme. It's a short week for us this week our last show on Wednesday What is your theme this way? I saw some flooding some terrible flooding happening in the upper South Island and I thought horrible

I thought a fact of the day thing on floods might be quite interesting Why not or what do you think? Timing it's not like it's not like here's a funny fact about a flood It's a more of a numbers fact about okay.. It's more of a numbers fact about a flood. We're just sort of a funny show, do you know what I mean? You don't want me to get deep and serious. We can try it, it's a short week. I'm just gonna say thank God it's a short week.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because if it was five days of flooding. He was threatening a return of calendar week, our least favourite week of all time. If you were gonna do that this week when we were only working for three days it would have been the week. Play ZM's Fleshborne in Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Good lord, Fawke. Yeah, yeah. That was in three part harmony. Yeah, it was lovely, wasn't it? This week it's a short week. We're only working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

and then we're going on holiday. I know, we're all gonna Europe. I'm not. All. Sorry. Two thirds of the show is gonna Europe. I don't feel sorry for me. I get to go to Beautiful Wanaka.

Yeah, gorgeous. There's a scag, a padrona. I know, and they've got a new thingy. Yeah, dude. Over the back, so-ho. Can't wait. It's gonna be great. Gonna be They've got a new thingy. Yeah dude over the back so can't wait. Yeah. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Got a world peak. Might even do a sounds. Might even do one of the sounds on there. Oh I haven't done doubtful because I've done Milford. I think I'm gonna do doubtful. We did Milford. I'm gonna do doubtful. Should we do doubtful darling? Should we do doubtful? Gorgeous. Well, that's not what today's

fact of the day theme is this week. Short week floods. Now this is in no way, this is what inspired it. This is horrendous weather that the Upper South's having. Very, very sorry for everybody affected. As someone who lived in an area that was pretty affected by floods,

it's a horrible thing for a community to go through. So, peace and peace. More rain as well this week. Yeah. As well, so not out of the woods yet. Well, let me tell you, for fact of the day, flood week, fact number one, is that due to being very flood prone in Bangladesh,

low-lying flood prone parts of Bangladesh in the south and central coastal regions, I have moved from chicken farming to duck farming because ducks float. What? And so that okay I get it right. Do you know what I mean? A duck is a floating chicken. Yeah yeah but it doesn't lay delicious eggs. It does. Duck eggs. But they're not delicious. Duck eggs, duck eggs versus. I've never had a duck egg, I've had quail eggs. I remember reading about the difference in like nutritional value.

Where do ducks lay their eggs? Surely not just on the river. In nests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember? And they just, you just see a floating egg. Cause they're like lightly blue, right? That's why it's called duck egg blue.

Duck egg blue, summer. Very, very famous resin colour. Summer. So Bangladesh experiences monsoon flooding and obviously with climate change and sea level rise, it's been really massively affected and it would wipe out traditional chicken farms. So farmers who are farming chicken went to ducks

because, and the main reason is, they float. Yeah, I get it. It makes sense. It just makes complete sense. Also ducks are more robust than chickens, less prone to avian diseases. They forage like rice paddies, ponds, and floodwaters, and they eat different sorts of bugs that live in water,

whereas chickens are somewhat restricted in that area. Yeah, right. So they can't, they can't farm them. In that area, they've changed, like obviously eating the meat, it's more duck based. So duck was always like a delicacy, and chicken was the easiest one, so duck has become more affordable

and people really like it. Peeking, go away. Always peaking. I mean, is there any other duck? How do you duck with, how do you peaking? What do you put on it to peaking it? Delicious hoisin. Hoisin, how's it get all red and delicious?

The deliciousness. Surely some soy's in there. You gotta hang it, but it's near its neck. Yeah, like when you see one hanging in the... In the sunniest window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The same ducks have been there for weeks. Yeah.

I want those ones. Yum. Yum. Those are real yum. Duck pancakes, duck pancakes. In the flood prone seasons, the ducks live in floating, well they live in these all the time, but in the summer they, sorry, not in the flood prone seasons, the ducks live in floating, well they live in these all the time, but in the summer, sorry not in the summer,

in the dry season, it just plonks on the ground. But when it rains, it floats. So they can see, they tether them to trees, and so it just floats up and down. And it sort of goes up and down. Sounds like on tires or something. Or some kind of barrels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Floating barrels in bamboo, and then when it goes up, yeah, it's just tethered to these trees on a little bit of run, so it just floats up. And the ducks, and of course get back to it because they can swim, they're bloody floating chickens. We've covered this. So, actually... That's genius actually.

Really smart. You look at the nutritional value of a duck egg versus a chicken egg. Okay, go ahead. More protein. Ooh, okay, gains bro. Gains bro. More fat, more cholesterol. So. Oh, okay, gains bro. Gains fat. More fat, more cholesterol.

So I guess you're this kind of a hum-hah there. Higher in B12, vitamin B12. Higher in vitamin D. And often 70 grams is the average duck egg versus 50 grams is the average chicken egg. Oh, okay. So maybe we should get into ducks. We should go have duck.

You're getting more bang for your quack there. That's terrible. Was that a take on bang for your buck? You're getting more bang for your quack there. It doesn't even rhyme. I think the sickness is affecting him. He's only working with half of his brain. Yeah.

Yeah, the half's been. Jeez Louise, that was terrible. More bang for your quack there. Come on. Don't keep saying it. Doesn't get funnier the more you say it. Today's back to the day is farmers who are farming chickens in flood prone areas of Bangladesh are getting more bang for their quack. No.

By farming ducks because they float. Fact of the day, day The Bachelor, the reality show. One person, either a man or a woman, Bachelor, Bachelorette, and then a whole bunch of other people. And then they introduced two years ago, The Golden Bachelor. Was that two years ago the first one of those came out? Which was, everyone was excited, it was a dating show aimed at seniors who they consider to be over the age of 65. So this year, the bachelor, his name's Mel Owens. His name's Mel. Mel.

Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson, yeah. Or M-A-L, Malcolm. No, it's M-E-L. No, Mel isn't Melanie. I'm gonna call him Melanie Owens. So he is gonna be the golden bachelor this year. He's the golden bachelor.

He is 66 years old, handsome guy, silver hair, great straight teeth, wears a good suit. Looks like he's a CEO of something, a company. Looks like he's got a bit of money, honey. Yeah, looks like he'd have a yacht. Well, in an interview he recently revealed that when the producers asked what his dating preferences were, he said, oh, like 45 to 60.

Just being honest, if they're over 60, I'm cutting them. This is not the silver bachelor, it's the golden bachelor. He wants them to be fit, they've got to stay in shape, that's important to him, and try and stay away from artificial hips and wigs. What would you give this guy out of 10? He's not my type, he's too clean cut. I love a silver fox, but I want him to look like

he's been working on a motorcycle all day. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's racist. But a motorcycle all day Do you know what I mean? A lot of women would find him very handsome Yeah, but he doesn't want anyone over the age of 60, which is not even considered senior He said 45 because how old is he again? He's 66. Yeah, he wants a younger lady He wants a young fit lady and everyone's like come on, on dude. You're 66. It's the Golden Bachelor. And there has been some outcry and some,

I guess some uproar over this. Well because it's a show for seniors looking for love, not 45 year olds, it's not senior. Is it for age? No, no, it's not. Ooh yuck. You yuck, you're 45, like it's ridiculous. Anyway, so he wants a young woman.

The Golden Bachelor would date me. Ooh yuck. I don't think he would date you specifically. Someone you had to school with. Your hips and your wigs. Cause your fake hips and wigs. I wouldn't like my shoulder, it's my shoulder surgery coming up.

But there is always, there's just sort of a funny moment, isn't there, when you see a senior person with, cause he's 66 and he's saying 45. That's like 20 years basically. Yeah, I see a trip to Southeast Asia in the future. Yeah, 100%. Anyway, what did they call them on White Lotus? The acronym?

Loser Back Home? Loser Back Home, LBH. LBH is what they call them? Yeah, Loser Back Home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it got me thinking about when you have those senior people that do go for the younger person. And I wanted to get some calls of when your mum and dad, mum or dad, moved on with a younger person.

Because you hear about this. Oh my gosh. Like someone, like their dad brings their new partner to Christmas and they're like your age or younger. Oh yeah. And you're just like, dad, what are you doing? Or mum's new toy boy is like, the same age as you, or you went to school with them or something?

I remember them in seventh form. Yeah, that's literally, it does happen. Yeah, all the time. So, okay, well let's see, we'll take some calls. You can be anonymous as well, text in, 9696 0800, dials that MSN number. When did mum or dad move on with a much younger person? When did your mum or dad move on

with someone significantly younger? Anonymous has called through. Anonymous, this is mum's husband? Yep, that's it. Okay. You sound stoked about your new dad. Old daddy. Old daddy.

Okay, so is dad older than mum or younger? No, no, younger. First I should say, long, long, long time listener, first time caller. Thank you Anonymous! Welcome, that's a third one today. Yeah, pissy. On some sort of run. Yeah.

Okay, and so... Yeah, so my mum married my now-sister dad, who is 18 years younger than her and 10 years older than me. Oh wow! Okay. Wow, so it's closer to your age than hers. Significantly closer to my age than hers. Do you get on with them? Nah, not really.

Nah. I just thought, you know, you might have quite a bit in common. Yeah, some of the pop culture. Nah, nah, he's um, definitely not on the same wavelength. Yeah right. Yeah when this first happened were you just like, mum what are you doing? Oh my sister and I were like, WTF, what is going on here? Is your mama hot here? Is she keeping it tight? Well, I mean, I'd never thought that, but I mean. He must have been there. Obviously, yeah.

He must have been there. He must have been there. How long have they been together? Oh, well, I was 14 at the time and I'm much older than that now. So like, 14. Sorry. So he was 24. What? Yeah. Okay, that makes it that now. Sorry. So he was 24. What?

Yes. Okay, that makes it. Wow. Okay. So you were 14, he was 24. I thought you were like in your 20s and then he was like 30 something and mum's like 50 something and no? Your mum was 42.

No. Wow. 24 and 42, is it? Yes. Okay. Well, I could see why you and your sister weren't happy. Yeah. Wow. That's lasted a long time though,42 is it? Yes. Okay, well I can see why you and your sister weren't happy. Yeah, wow! That's lasted a long time though, hasn't it?

It has, it has. Much to my surprise, but you know, I guess I have it. Okay, well Anonymous, thank you for sharing. It could have been juicy actually. Me too, Jusin. My dad, who was 60 at the time, started seeing someone who was 38, which was two years older than my older sister. Needless to say, this wasn't too well received. But they are still together now.

Oh wow, okay. I mean, if they have longevity, they're obviously happy, you know? Yeah. When my parents split up, I lived with my dad. I was 16 and he started seeing a girl that was 18. My dad was 36. We were at the same intermediate school together.

She has a one year old kid and they eventually moved in with him. I had no choice but to move out of home at 16. I've never forgiven him for doing that to me. Yeah, right, okay, wow. Big family drama. Yeah, when I was three, my dad shacked up with someone 17 years younger than him.

She was closer in age to my older brother than my dad. Still together 24 years later though when she's great. Oh, amazing. I ended up with someone 10 years younger than him. She was closer in age to my older brother than my dad. Still together 24 years later though when she's great. Oh, amazing. I ended up with someone 10 years older than me and my step mum and my partner have mutual friends. Oh, okay. How about that? That's so, yeah.

Some wild messages coming through. Get to more of them next, 9696 to text in. Georgia joins us. We are talking, Georgia, about when your mum and dad got with someone significantly younger. Did you see this? The Golden Bachelor said that he doesn't want to date, he's 66, doesn't want to date anyone other than, younger than, older than 60. 45 to 60 is his age range. That's like Leonardo DiCaprio, right? He's just living that life.

Did you see Mick Jagger just marrying someone who's my age? Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. Are you saying that because you feel like you've missed an opportunity or? I would. Just for the stories? All I'm gonna say is I would. For the stories, guys, I shagged Mick Jagger on the weekend.

Yeah. And then he wants to marry me. What? Yeah, that is tea, that is tea. Wow. Well, so many texts in saying we're shaming these people. Oh no, no shame. No shame.

It's crunchy, it's interesting. Well, this is what we wanna know. Did mum or dad move on with someone much older or younger? shaming these people. Oh no, no shame. It's just, it's crunchy. It's interesting. Well this is what we want to know. Did mum or dad move on with someone much older or younger? Um, yes. We also, sorry, we just had a quick request. I think we could tick off. Sorry, just tuned in.

Can we get a baby girl from Vaughan? Because of my throat. How do you say baby girl? Oh no, don't. I don't want to ruin your day. There it is. Well that's kind of hard. Do you want to uh?

Just say hey, just say hey baby girl. No, don't give us an uh. Can you say hey baby girl? Hey baby girl. Oh, yuck. Okay, anyone move on. Disgusting actually. Hey baby boy. What's that?

Guys, that's kind of hot. Do you want a baby boy? It's not hot. No, I don't want a baby boy. I don't want a baby boy. Do you want a hey baby girl? Hey baby girl. Stop.

Can you give us a little sweet out? Hey, sweetheart. Hey, sweetheart. No. Yuck. Yeah, that was gross. Okay, sorry. Hey, sweetheart. Some messages in. Okay, gross. Okay, sorry. Hey, sweetheart. So, some messages in.

Okay, this is like kind of a sidestep, but I'm not gonna read it anywhere, because I'm into the juice. I got with my now ex-wife when I was 16 and she was 30. It was quite the scandal at the time. No shit. Especially by the time I was at the end of 17, we had a baby.

Still managed to last for 20 years. Before, I decided I like boys. Scandal! Twists and turns. Scandal! Twists and turns! Scandal! Anyway, my partner's dad is nearly 70.

Back in the day, he cheated on his same age wife with somebody 20 years younger than him and eight years older than his eldest daughter. They've been together for 10ish years now though. Oh wow. The other woman. Yeah. God, no wonder some family Christmases are just absolute.

Yeah. The age gap between my auntie and uncle is 27 years. My uncle is the same age as my grandmother. 27 years age gap. Far apart. I always just wonder what they've got in common. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. Because they're going on about World War II. I want to wonder what they've got in common. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you talk about?

Yeah. Because they're going on about World War II. I wanna go to Dua Lipa. And they're like, I wanna go to Dua Lipa. And he's like, I told you I'm trying to learn Spanish as best I can, I just don't know where to find the app. Yeah, yeah, yeah, how do you, darling, how do you do this?

My mom married my stepdad, who was only 16 years older than me. They divorced, but he was still my dad. He was engaged to a girl who was four weeks older than me and went to school with the same people. It was really weird. Yeah. It's a lot.

It's a lot. Anonymous, but my South African dad loves the younger Asian demographic. He's got a type, doesn't he? Yeah, I love the younger Asian demographic. One girlfriend finished at Auckland Uni the summer I started. Oh wow, okay. She always went back home and bought me great labelled bags, purses, clothes to try and buy my favour.

Wow. Okay, yeah. Come back with a bit of Gucci. You wouldn't say no to a Gucci bag? Louis Vuitton luggage? No way. My mum moved on with a younger bloke. She's 80, he's 62. She was like, yeah, it's nice having a younger man. 18 years younger.

A younger man in 62. Things got a little bit weird though when she was in perfect health and the toy boy went and had a stroke and he's now in a dementia ward. And she's like, if she's gonna be in there, go even younger. That's not why I got a young one. Yeah.

That's what me and my age do. Yeah. Over 40 years ago, my dad, 42, left my mum for a 19 year old. I was 15 and my brother was 17. All these years later though, they're still together and they are total soulmates, so. Shrug.

See, I feel like the age of 15 though, a 19 year old seems old. So like that's kind of fine. And you want like that age group, you feel like they're not close to you, right? Right? They're also not close to the people. Are you eating a lozenge? Yeah well you told me I should chain lozenge today. Yeah but not when we're on air. You could have actually done it hours ago I think. I just wanted to be your good boy. That was yuck. That was yuck. You know what, we're gonna just end the show there. Hey guys, apparently being the company's

most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. I would concentrate more on the shitter podcast that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there.

Same. No, no, no, we're just, maybe we won't say no. Maybe we should't say no. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah. Nah, don't do that. And not more than ours.

Yeah. Give us a sexy little review, though.