ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 1st, 2025

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: 100 men VS 1 Gorilla Top 6 - Uniforms to buy off Trademe Meghan Markle is yuck in love SLP - Shoes off on a plane? Aussie recipe drama MAFS All Stars  Whats ya jobby Carwen's accused of a crime Fake tanning whoopsies Alex Warren Interview Should Vaughan do the ice bucket challenge When did you person leave? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Brinnifer. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Great news for the All Blacks. Oh, lovely. I could see some of them in a Yaris, in a nice new Yaris. Lovely little Yaris.

The ever-reliable Toyota. Yeah. Do you know, actually, over the break, somebody sent me the old 1980s Barry Crump Toyota ads. Why? Okay. Someone said, I thought you might enjoy a little bit of Kiwiana nostalgia. Oh, yeah. They'reump Toyota ads. Why? Okay. I thought you might enjoy a little bit of Kiwiana nostalgia.

Oh, yeah. They're very old ads. Yeah, do you know Reddit loves an old ad? Reddit loves a retro Kiwi ad. They love a retro Kiwi ad. They were... Got some goodies. Weirdest part about it

is watching a TV ad for a car, not a single seatbelt put on. Oh, yeah. That really struck me. Different times. On the show today after 8 o'clock, Alex Warren joins us. How exciting. Coming to New Zealand for a couple of sold out shows in August.

Add to cart is at 8 o'clock thanks to One Roof Property as well. So make sure you're listening after the news to win some goodies. We've got the top six soon. The top six uniforms I would purchase off Trade Me. A corrections staff uniform has somehow ended up on our our

sellables website, Trade Me. In the past, we've had a couple of ZM puffers and t-shirts in op shops, haven't we? Oh, really? Yes. Actually, wasn't there somebody wasn't Ross dealing with it? Some stage there was a robbery in Australia and the person was wearing a ZM Puffer jacket?

Oh my God, how embarrassing. I remember that, yes. I remember something like that, yeah. I mean, great for the marketing. Great for the marketing. I don't think it is great marketing. No, all marketing's good marketing, Hayley. Oh, I don't know.

I reckon we could sort of contest that. You can't buy that sort of exposure, Hayley. You can't buy that exposure. Australia, like that's reach. They call that reach in marketing. Yeah, I know, but it looks like we're robbing people in Australia, you know?

Yeah, we were. We were. Yeah. Branching out. We now play the hit music and we hit you around the head and take your purse.

Yeah, yeah. Zed in. Play Zed in. Flash Vaughn and Hayley. To me, this is why we leave the internet plugged in because to be honest, I'm really unplugged

at the wall. You've had your finger on the cord for a while. I'm just like, if you guys start being racist and start getting along, I'm really unplugging to the wall. You've had your finger on the cord for a while. I'm just like, if you can start being racist and start getting along, I'm pulling out the cord.

This is a question the internet is currently obsessed with. 100 men versus one gorilla, who would win? Now this comes from the subreddit who would win,

which is a subreddit I did not know about, but a subreddit I will be joining immediately. So it's just like hypotheticals, right? Yeah, and it's not just two guys, one horse. Because let's

never forget the octopus versus shark in the aquarium that was caught on camera. Yeah. The octopus won. Because you think shark immediately because sharks are scary. Cephalopods have got the brains on board. And they've got the suckers that drill into your brain. And they can go more places. And sharks have got to be swimming

to be able to breathe. They've got to be moving forward. So if the octopus just stops them, it's game over. I didn't know that. Some of the other ones are one trained swordsman versus an average person who's never shot a gun with a gun. Oh. This is good. They're 10 metres apart,

and the swordsman's long sword is sheathed, and the gunman's handgun is holstered. That's right. I'd probably forget about the safety. That's what they say. You're going to get stabbed, which is a way worse death. Would he know, having never shot a gun, how to turn off a safety on an ordinary gun? I wouldn't know how to shoot a gun.

I've shot a gun. I've shot a handgun in America. But I wouldn't even know where to start. Okay, this is my new favourite subreddit. Every animal on earth all of a sudden gets human level intelligence. How effed are we? Oh, screw. Who are we stopping? You know what I'd be most worried about?

Ants. Oh, yeah. Because that's crafty enough as it is. Just everything. Just everything. Horses. Everyone is suddenly gender swapped. Which nations do the best?

Oh, gosh. Oh, God. These are great. What a great subreddit. Yeah. So the question, the gorilla versus 100 men. Because you think, oh, my God, picture 100 men and try not to get too excited. I mean, you'd think they would outnumber the gorilla, right?

Yeah. We just did this off me. I was like, I think eventually the gorilla would fail the battle, but we're losing a lot of men. That's what I think. Okay, let me hit you with some gorilla stats. Male gorillas have an arm span that can stretch from 2.3 to 2.6 metres. So you ain't even getting close to it.

It's body. You ain't even getting a swing in. Yeah, you've got to be the same height to hit it before it hits you. And even if you are the same height, you are talking about a significantly stronger creature. So the average male gorilla height, 1.4 to 1.8

metres, but they have been recorded that a silverback gorilla was recorded at 195, 1.95 metres. So nearly 2 metres. That's basically Aaron's height. So the strength, this is where they absolutely outrate humans. Gorillas are incredibly strong.

Their strength can be estimated to be around 10 times greater than that of the average human. I hip thrust 110, though. A gorilla's upper body can support over 816 kgs of pulling force. Are you kidding me? It could rip you in half. It could grab one arm and one leg and pull it, and you'd be a wishbone.

Like chicken nibbles. It would be wishbone. Like chicken nibbles. It would be a plate of a hundred chicken nibbles. We should get chicken nibbles soon, by the way. We should, yeah. We should go to a wings place. Gorillas are capable of lifting up to ten times their body weight. Saucy or dry rub wings? Saucy.

I'm down for both. I'm a saucy. Actually, that could be a fight. We could do a dry rub with a ranch dip. We could lube ourselves up in honey soy and then fight the gorilla. If I'm going Asian, I like a dry. If I'm going American style, I like a wet. Yeah, yeah.

I prefer a wet wing. Yeah, let's go wet wings. Yeah, you're a wet wing boy, though. Well, let's get some dry and a nice blue cheese dip or something, like a ranch dip. Oh, yum. Should we get one bowl of wet, one bowl of dry? We're all happy.

I want two bowls each. Two bowls of wet. Anyway, we're back to the gorillas. Wait, so who's winning? Three bowls. The gorilla or the... Okay, Rolling Stone asked expert opinions. Oh, great.

Ron Madgill is a wildlife conservist... Conservatist? Conservationist. There it is. This guy. But he also doesn't want women to have rights, so he's a conservative. Conservative conservationist. There it is. This guy. But he also doesn't want women to have rights, so he's a conservative. Conservative conservationist.

Gorillas are peaceful and would avoid the conflict. 100 fit men working as a team might win, but they would need to have a unified strategy and there would be many casualties, and the only way to overwhelm and suffocate the gorilla would be in a coordinated human straitjacket. Oh, so wrap it and then take it down. Yeah, but then I'll go at the end.

If it's got the pulling power of 800, it's going to have some push. Yeah, shock I'm not wrapping. There's no way. Michelle Rodriguez, a primatologist, not Michelle Rodriguez from the Fast and the Furious movies. I was like, what does she got to say about it? I don't think she's got any jurisdiction here.

Shut up, Michelle. Gorillas are social and not naturally aggressive unless provoked. Numerical odds strongly favour the humans, but the gorilla may try to flee. Okay. Running away is at a loss. So you'd be better to invite it. She said they want to come to Wings.

I was going to say, you'd be better to invite it to a party and then jump it. Jump it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a drink. Yeah, have a drink. What are you about? Hot shot! Cat, another primatologist said gorillas are extremely powerful with over 85%

fast twitch muscle fibres. So those are the ones that make sprinters sprint. Like that quick reaction fast twitch muscle fibre. A sprinter once told me that when she was sitting on my lap. Sorry.

Sorry what? Is that what the article says? No, that's what I'm saying from my personal experience about my fast twitch fibers. Why was there a sprinter sitting on your lap? It's a long story. It was a long, long time ago.

I don't know this story. I've known you for 20 something years. I don't know this story. Why was there a sprinter sitting on your lap? Was this on or off here? And when were you at the Commonwealth Games? I wasn't at the Commonwealth Games. When were you at the Commonwealth Games?

She told me about fast twitch muscle fibers. Are you upholding information from this friendship? I'm holding without... No, it's just not possible. It sounds like you are. I haven't been to fast twitch fibers fibers. Are you upholding information from this friendship? I'm holding with all, no, it's just not possible. Sounds like you are. I'm having a bit of fast twitch fibers I was taking back in.

I don't want to keep any secrets. If men can't all attack at once, they're at a serious disadvantage. Yep. 100 average guys wouldn't stand a chance on real conditions. She said you would need

100 peak physical humans working together in unity. Right. So not a 100 mixed bag of natural men. Nah. What was it like last, remember that last

weird thing where there was some astronomical amount of American men who think they could bare knuckle fight a bear or some shit? Oh yeah. And land a plane. Yeah. She's like, no, they need to be extraordinary. This is just getting in with a lot of dead men. She said the advantage men would have was they would land hits

before the gorilla became aggressive enough to fight back. So it really doesn't want to engage in the fight but if you force my hand I'll tear you apart. They'll have you. Well, do you know what? We might find out

because Mr Beast said he wants to make this happen. Oh my God, yeah. No, he won't. He'll do some kind of twist on it. Yeah, there's no way. He's not going to get away with that. He's not going to

A, get a gorilla. No, that's animal cruelty. We can't be doing it. No. No, Mr Beast, calm down. Unless it's a guy in a gorilla suit. Stick with your shitty chocolate. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

From the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley group chat, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top Six comes to us from a story about a trade me auction for a corrections uniform. That would be someone that works in our prisons and reforms and remand. The court stuff as well. The corrections, yeah.

Actually, you're dead right because yesterday I went to a different gym and it was by the high court and a guy came in wearing this uniform. Oh yeah. And I was like, he must be getting some steps in. So are they, what, why are they selling it?

And for how much? Well, the bid when it was screencapped was $41, but it was taken down. But I guess the issue is if you were trying to break someone out.

Impersonate them. And impersonate, maybe you could try and sneak something in or heartbeat. Well, in 2022, notorious escape artist used a corrections uniform to escape Rimutaka prison.

Oh. He stole the uniform off a guard and then assaulted a hitchhiker. What did the guard go home in? I don't know. Maybe the guard got tied up in a broom cupboard or something and he did it all at once. I don't know. But, yeah, yeah.

So, it's bad, obviously. You can't be selling these things. No. You'd think it'd be illegal to sell anything like that or a cop uniform or... Yeah. Well, I've got the top six uniforms I'd buy off Trade Me. Okay.

Number six on the list, road workers uniform. We pretty much have a lot of high viz. Yeah, I do have a lot of high viz. What's under it? But I want an official... Like a Fulton Hogan... Overalls, like long... Fulton Hogan jacket?

Yeah, they've got to go full... One of those nice orange ones. Yeah. Yeah, stand in the rain. Orange and blue. With your stop-go sign. Orange. Well, that's the old, so I'd need a stop-go sign.

Just a power thing, really. But how will you use that as power? Will you just stand in rows and stop them? Yeah, chuck some cones out. You can just stop your family coming up the drive. Yeah, everybody. Yeah. I just thought if people were going too fast down the road,

chuck some cones out and go sit out there. And then give them them on a wave. A couple of brewskis on the side of the road in a fold-out chair with a stop-go sign, that'll slow them right down. And if they don't slow down, I throw my empty bottles of beer at them. How long do you reckon it would take you

if you just set up some cones in a stop sign for people to stay stopped? Yeah, how long could you stop them? How long could you stop them before they got absolutely pissed? We are a rule-abiding community, really. In the middle of nowhere. You could do a walk down

and just be like, I'm really sorry about this. We've got an overturned truck up there. Yeah. Pretty best you do it. Yeah, I reckon flick around. We're probably on the verge of closing the road. We would have fun.

How long would it take? I reckon just no contact, though. Just sit in there with the stop. And the sign actually says Fulton Fogan. Yeah. Fulton Fogan. Someone's like, that's not the name. Or it says Stapp.

And they just sit there being like, wow. And then we jump out. That would be a good prank video. Yeah, you're on candid camera. Oh, you flinched before hailing from the radio. Got ya. Gotcha, gotcha. Here's a $50 voucher.

And then they jump out and they punch us in the face. Yeah. And we are like, oh, why? Someone missed a medical appointment. Yeah, and they punch us in the face. And we are like, oh, why? Someone missed a medical appointment. Yeah, and they die. Yeah, because we're like, the car's going to go now and one car's not moving. We walk up and they're dead.

And we're like, this has really backfired. I would. Great viral moment, though. I'd push them over into the passenger seat, jump and drive the car away. Same. Yep. Park it up somewhere, put them back in the driver's seat.

Me and Fletch will distract. Yeah. Okay. And they go to a pay the driver's seat. And be like. Me and Fletch will distract. Yeah. Okay. And then go to a pay phone. Call 111 and be like. I think I saw someone like masturbating in a car in a gravel pit. Yeah. And then they go to stop the person.

But they're not masturbating. They're dead. They're dead. Perfect. Number five on the list of the top six uniforms I buy. I've traded me. Chef. Oh yeah.

So I could go and see how all the yum food's going. And then walk around and be like. Chef. Chef. Taste test. Let me taste test this and be like, Chef, Chef, taste test. Let me taste test this. Well done, Chef. Well done, Chef. Chef's ready for service.

We don't know you. Your kitchens are quite small. Yeah. That's why I'm like, on your left, Chef. I've watched the beer. Yeah, but there's a chef in there, though. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, another chef. I don't know. I'm the new chef. Head chef coming through. You just wear it at home, I think. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six uniforms I've bought if trade me. Place. Yeah. Just don't know. I'm the new chef. Head chef coming through. You just wear it at home I think. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six uniforms I buy off Trade Me. Place. Yep. Just for the bedroom.

Yeah. You're under arrest. I saw you going 61. Yeah. And then I turn off my body cam. Yeah. And then they're resisting arrest so I beat the shit out of them with my knife. I just saw you speeding at 70. You know what the speed limit is around here. And then turn your cam back on. Oh it wasn't working. dad. I just saw you speeding at 70. You know what the speed limit is around here.

Oh it wasn't working. Yeah it wasn't working. I don't know what happened there but this person seems to have fallen over and over again. They must be intoxicated. Yeah.

And then shoot them up with some heroin that you confiscated and then you know dump the body in that gravel pit I was talking about before and ring again

and say I don't know this is really getting out of hand. I think I saw someone masturbating in the gravel pit again. know. This is really getting out of hand. I saw someone masturbating in the gravel pit again. God. This pit's getting filled.

Well, carry on. Please, calm down. It's 6.21 in the morning. And he's murdered two people. Two people down. No, I didn't murder the first person. That was, I'd say, manslaughter at most.

At most. Our number three on the list of the top six uniforms I'd buy off Trade Me, Pilot. Skip the queues. Yeah, I think people Skip the queues and get a good seat. People have gotten in the list of the top six uniforms I'd buy if I traded me Pilot. Oh, yeah. Skip the queues. Yeah, I think people have been...

Skip the queues and get a good seat. People have gotten in a lot of trouble for that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you want the authentic uniform, you know? Our number two on the list of the top six uniforms I'd buy if I traded me NASA spacesuit. Oh. Because did you know that's the one thing? Those suits that Katy Perry wore up.

Oh, no. She didn't go on NASA, right? No, she was Blue Origin. I've seen the NASA where she was Blue Origin. That's ones. The new ones. The new ones. The new ones. The new ones. The new ones. The new ones. The new ones. Oh no, she didn't go on NASA, right? No, she was Blue Origin. I've seen the NASA one, she was Blue Origin, that's right. The new NASA ones are real cool.

Are they? Plus, man, can you imagine, I don't think you'd pay for a drink if you walked into the TAV in a NASA outfit. Oh yeah, they're cool. Yeah, they are cool.

Because the Katy Perry one, that was a bit tight. I had a real camel toe situation. Big Fantastic Four energy the Katy Perry Yeah, it was too

tight to get up. Real comic book. And number one on the list of the top six uniforms I'd buy if trade me full firefighter outfit. Oh, okay.

Full firefighter. Yeah, right. Remember when we went down to Hawke's Bay and did the firetruck thing and Fletch put on the outfit and you put on the belt. The pants and the jacket.

It was just like confusing. You've never looked at us the same way, have you? I've never looked you in the eye since. Yeah. She can't. Can't.

She absolutely can't. I'm flustered. Or she'll need a hose down. You wait till I do the Firefighter Skytower Challenge. Oh, hooning up those stairs. With me on your shoulder? Yeah, you're on your shoulder. Oh, it's conflicting.

Yeah. And then when you get to the top, if she's dead, you can chuck her in that gravel. No, I can't say fawn, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Jamie Kern-Lima has a podcast. She's an entrepreneur. She, her face doesn't move. Right.

At all. Botox. A lot of it, everywhere. I can see your forehead, not moving. Yeah. I can see it moving. Yeah, I know. I've been letting it die off for Comedy Fest

so that when I'm on stage, I could give a broader range of emotions. Yeah. But I will be... As soon as it's over. As soon as it's over. Okay. A friend of mine was reliving on social media,

one of those ones where just your close friends see the story. Yeah. And she was reliving the moment she'd found out she was pregnant. Yeah. And she's like, these are the photos and stills of a video I took just after I found out I was pregnant. Oh. And then put it up. Ands of a video i took just after i found out i was pregnant oh and then put it up and i was like oh that's nice and then the next one was like you may be wondering why my face isn't moving she's like i just had

a day about it so she's oh my god funny well she this uh this jamie lee kuma she sat down with megan markle their friends yeah for a one and a half hour podcast on Jamie's podcast. And this came across my desk last night as I was, you know, researching for the show. Yep. And I, like, couldn't listen to it. I was going to play a little clip that was on my socials and it just made me cringe so much. My husband's very, very handsome. Stop.

His heart is even more beautiful. You have to push through. Stop. That man loves me so much my husband's very very handsome stop his heart is even more beautiful that man loves me so much i always think about it like the end of super mario brothers when you get to the final final level and what's the goal in super mario they're like stay slay the dragon save the princess i'm like that's my husband there's no dragon in super mario he's just going to do whatever he can to make sure that our family is safe and protected and we're uplifted and still make time for date nights there's no dragon in super mario the idea of mario is that you get to the end of the level you jump up the flame you slide down and then princess peach is

there and then all of a sudden it's like oh no she's not there it was so and so in disguise bowser in disguise sometimes sometimes it's just like it's just like a little mushroom person they're like mario you've come to the wrong castle. You must go to the... And then the next level is Super Mario. And then the idea is rescue. I know this is upset you deeply. There's Koopa Troopers.

But you were upset before she brought up Super Mario. I was. Just play the first sentence again. My husband's quite handsome. Oh, in your own time. My husband's very, very handsome. But his heart is even more beautiful. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. in your own time. My husband's very, very handsome, but his heart is even more beautiful.

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I just, people are just on the, as you can imagine, I don't mean to tear her down,

I'm happy for her. You know, and she's got these businesses in her life and stuff, but gone, it goes on and on and on. And I just honestly think. Nobody likes those people that go on about

how great their partner is. And just talking about like how in love like in this woman was like are you more in love now than ever she's like yeah

yeah we love each other so much love is dead Megan um shut up not you not you

her no there was something else in there I just lost it in the moment but there was something else she there. I just lost it in the moment, but there was something else she said and I was just like.

She did talk about the fact, this is quite a nice idea. She created email addresses for her two kids. Each day when they do, every couple of days, if they do something that's not notable enough to take a photo or, you know, write home about it,

she emails them and is like, today you did this weird thing. Because I did that for my kids, but I just use it to get free Netflix for another week. Yeah, yeah, you home about it. She emails them and is like, Titty, you did this with this thing. Because I did that for my kids, but I just use it to get free Netflix for another week. Yeah, yeah, you keep doing trials. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley.

Silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Do you take your shoes off on a flight?

These were the options we offered you. Yes, always. Domestic included. Yes, but only on long haul. Or no, never. Only long haul. Or no, never. Only long haul. Yeah, long. Or maybe a flight to Australia.

Home from Australia I kept mine off because I was in Doc Martens and I was about uncomfortable. Oh, no, huge. I hate wearing a tightly laced, like the days of a Chuck Taylor on a plane. I always wear Chuck Taylors on planes. Awful. It's got to be slipped off. That's why I can't wait for the big Etnies return of 2025.

That's why you wear your slip-on sketches when we fly. I'll try not to wear my JJ Feeney shape-ups. Yeah, your shape-ups. On the plane, I can just slip them on and off. Shapes the car of something wonderful. No, these are about these big work boots that I've actually been wearing a lot of heat for lately. Oh, yeah, because you don't wear them in the mines. I wore Timberlands yesterday and you didn't say anything.

No, I noticed. They weren't as comfortable. No, I know, but I thought you looked hotter. Do you think so? Yeah, with the pants and shirt. I do like looking hot. I know. Well, make the choice.

But then these are so comfortable and they just slip off. No, hideous shoes. Oh, horrendous. Horrendous. Love a big boot. Do you know the best shoe for flying is the Birkenstock? Birkenstock. Dude, Birkenstock with or withoutstock. Dude, couldn't agree more.

Birkenstock with or without socks? No, without socks. Grow up. No, with socks so that when you slip them off, you've got a nice tootsie. Yeah, yeah. Cover. I'm not raw dogging on that carpet. Then when you need to use the bathroom on a plane, you just slip them back on.

Yeah, I love it. Or get those clog ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the clog ones? Yeah, Crocs. I've got those ones too. No, they're Birks. No, perfect.

Stock Crocs. Fancy Crocs. Get Cro too. No, they're boots. No, stock Crocs. Fancy box. Get Crocs. No, Crocs, too rubbery. Yeah. And also, if you're in a fire in the plane, they'll melt. Oh, yeah, when you're running on the- Crocs, onto your feet.

Or if you find yourself in a real-life game of The Floor is Lava, of course, the Crocs will melt. Oh, yeah, you'll regret Crocs immediately. Yeah. But stock clogs. Yeah. With socks. Perfect.

And also great for airport security if you're flying America they always make you take your shoes off oh my god yeah love it well we asked and you said the least I'm going to start at the least

popular 7% of people say they always take them off including on domestic flights monsters 39% of people said no we never take it off never

never take the shoe off on a plane. What, so even if you're flying to Europe? That's probably Gran's remedy users. Yes, stinky feet. Stinky feet. And for that, we thank you. Or you know what? Yeah, we do.

Boat shoe wearers. Who don't wear a sock. Who don't wear a sock. Raw dogs. Yeah. Gross, that's leather. You've got to grow up. At least wear a sock head in that boat shoe, you know?

Or just don't wear a boat shoe. Yeah. Or a loafer. Or a posh loafer. Don't wear a sock head in that boat shoe. You know how I feel about sock heads? Don't wear a boat shoe? Yeah. Or a loafer. Or a posh loafer. Don't wear a posh loafer. Yuck, I hate posh loafers. What about dudes that wear loafers with a buckle on the top? Those are women only.

I can't even woman with a buckle on the top. I'm like... Who are you? A little madam? A little sir? Who's a little madam? Look at you, little sir. I think that's high fashion, Vaughan.

Look at you, little sir. Are you going to high fashion, Vaughan. Look at you, little sir. Are you going to sing and give us a little song and a dance? What are you, a court jester? Yeah, are you going to perform some Shakespeare there? A little buckle on the top of your shoe, sir? Your loafer, sir? 54% of people, yes, but only on long-haul flights. Okay, yeah.

All right, some feedback. Pam, good old Pam says, Yes, take them off, but always have slides to use for a trip to the bathroom. Yes. Because the feet swell on a big flight too, I find.

Yeah, they do. That's why the Chuck Taylors, I'm anti the Chuck Taylor on a flight. We're exclusively Chuck Taylors. Kathy says, because your feet swell

and then there's a panic of not being able to get your shoes back on. Yeah. That's why you've got to wear a loose fitting slide. When I had deep vein thrombosis, I was wearing chucks

and skinny jeans. I always fly mine. Should I not? No, they're terrible for flying. All right. I used to play the deep vein thrombosis. Actually, that sounds like

I'm talking about someone's penis, doesn't it? The deep vein thrombosis. When you were in Rock Quest. When I was in Rock Quest, yeah, I used to play the deep vein thrombosis. What are you getting up to

this weekend? I was going to hit the deep vein. I was going to hit a little bit of the deep vein trombosis. What are you getting up to this weekend? I was going to hit the deep vein. I was going to hit a little bit of the deep vein trombosis. Some more messages, then. Long haul is already a cesspit, so why not get their shoes off and enjoy the muck? I mean, I'm farting the whole time. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Literally the whole time, I'm tooting. And I changed to jandals, Sophie says. On long haul only, I'll take off the shoe and change into a jandal. You're going to be doing 17-hour flights. Are you going to do it in chucks? No, I think I'm going to do a sock and stock.

Yes. A sock and stock. And track pants. Track pants? What kind of sock are you going to go for? No, no, no. Loose linen pant because I'm going to arrive at hot destinations. No, you change into shorts before landing.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Track pants, sock and stock and a t-shirt. Because you wear a compression sock up there in business class. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Track pants, sock and a t-shirt. What kind of sock are we talking? Because you wear a compression sock up there in business class.

Times are tough. I will rock a crew. Just a normal crew sock. Just a normal crew sock. Just a crew. Not an ankle because then your whole thing's going

to swell around it. Oh, you'll get cold. And you get cold. Yeah, cold ankles. Also grow up. It's 2025. You know what I mean? We're not wearing

ankle socks anymore. I don't do ankle socks anymore because you teased me. I exclusively crew. You teased me out of it. Are you happy about that? We're not wearing ankle socks anymore. I don't do ankle socks anymore because you teased me. I exclusively crew. You teased me out of it. Yeah. Are you happy about that? Yeah, but now your legs look great.

Carls are popping, dude. Eilish says long-haul shoes can be... Billie Eilish. Eilish is actually her first name. Eilish comma Billie. Eilish comma Billie. Yeah, like we're calling the school roll. Eilish, Billie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Long-haul shoes can be off as long as these following rules are followed. Feet or socks must be clean. No visible toes. Socks at all times. Must put shoes on for trips to the bathroom. Yeah, I always wear a new sock on the plane. Yeah, I'll bust out a new sock.

Jel said, yes, I'm long haul, but I... Here? Jel, here. Eilish. Billie. We're making fun of people's names That's the lowest form of comedy But it's funny

Would you make a joke about a name of yours? Moe Harmon? I could think one up Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley I don't even know how I came to follow Recipe Tin On Instagram I go on Recipe Tin all the time though For recipes Yeah What's Recipe Tin? Recipe Tin all the time though for recipes.

Yeah. What is Recipe Tin? Recipe Tin's just like a lady that started it. Oh, so it's a tin of recipes. Like an old biscuit tin or something. Yeah, that's basically

what it boils down to. It's one of the most popular. If you Google like, hey, spaghetti bolognese recipe, Recipe Tin and all recipes. Do you know, if I can give a local

New Zealand shout out for someone who's just basically been feeding our house for years, especially this year, Vijay Cooks. You go to Vijay Cooks? Yes, I have. Dude. Yeah. And you can go on.

She's got this app. This is free. Yeah. Free plug. Okay. Free plug. Non-spot. Non-spot.

She does it very well for herself. There's an app and you say what recipes you want to do and then it's like, this is the shopping list for what you need to do to make these meals. Oh, that's nice. That rules. Welcome to the Edmonds cookbook, bro is the shopping list for what you need to do to make these meals. Oh, that's nice. That rules. Welcome to the Edmunds cookbook, bro. It's all in one place.

Yeah, I know. Anything you want. Curry. Yeah, it's all there. The original app. Yeah, the original orange app. It was a paper app. Yeah.

And the Edmunds cookbook was the first ever book I saw bound on a ring thing. Yeah. Professionally bound on a ring. I know. Yeah. Professionally bound on a ring. I know, that wasn't done by mum at her office. Yeah. Or the school. Or the school ring binding system.

Yeah. Anyway, Najee is the former of Recipe Turn Eats, and she's saying, bake with Brookie. This is Brooke Bellamy. Bake with Brookie. Stealing recipes from her website. Bake with Brookie. Oh.

Wait. Oh, my God. Is it? I mean. I'm on. Wait. Oh my God. Is it? I mean. I'm on an article. How many recipes are there for things? You know? Like things are made away

and then everyone puts a twist on it. Yeah. Or adds a bit of my, my. And you're like, whatever. And writes a three page history about their life before you actually get to the recipe. Growing up, my Nona used to tell me. And you're like, how many celery sticks?

Yeah, and now the topic's got jumped to recipe, which is really great. Yeah, that's good. I'll read about Nona another time. So how does she, why does she think she's stealing the recipes? Because they're exactly the same. Recipe, Tin Eats recipes at issue

are for caramel slice and baklava. Yeah. Caramel slice is caramel slice though. Yeah, that's, you're right. But we're not chefs. We're not bakers. We're not, this is in our area of expertise. If I was stealing recipes,

I'd just add an extra teaspoon of everything. Yeah, yeah. And then a sprinkle of salt. Slightly size it up. Yeah, size it up. Or just double it. You said a teaspoon extra of everything, but what if one thing is a cup of flour

and then one teaspoon of baking powder? You've doubled the baking powder, but hardly increased the flour. You're a dick. You're a dum-dum. You're a dum-dum. You're a baking dum-dum. That recipe ain't going to rise.

It's not going to do the right things. Or it's going to rise too much because he's doubled the baking powder. So now it's going to be this monster of a loaf. That's why my baking website recipe bucket failed. Yeah, your recipe bucket did fail. Yeah, even though you directly copied all of RecipeTunes recipes, just added a teaspoon of everything.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Guys, exciting news. You know how I feel about Married at First Sight. It's all over now. The recent season did not disappoint. Well, the only people that disappointed were the brides and grooms involved. But that's entertainment for us.

That's entertainment. One couple made it. However, rumours are swirling about a Mavs Australia All Stars season, meaning that they'll be bringing back people from unsuccessful relationships of past seasons. Letting these hot messes have another go. Have another whack with each other which in itself

doesn't make sense because they're supposed to be matched you know, they put up all these strangers profiles, thousands of people and they make these matches and now they've got a smaller pool because you have to have been on the show before. So how many people are actually coming back after the experience

of this? There's a real habit, especially Maths Australia for ex-contestants to end up dating each other anyway from non-usual couples. Now girls, we know that there's All Stars Love Island and the likes, but we've never had an All Stars Maths. I am

fizzing because I feel like Love Island All Stars always disappointed because they never brought back the people we wanted. That you wanted to see. Whereas I feel like maths brings out a special side of special people. Very special people. Because they're craving fame. Yeah, if we get Cyclone Cyrel back, I am here for it.

I'm like, who do we want to see? I want to see Bron... Bron... Bron... Bronson? Bronson. With the eyebrow piercing. With the eyebrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I just want some rogue choices in there. One name has been leaked. Cheryl Maitland from season four. It's a little bit before my time. I think it heated up from season eight, season seven. She doesn't know what's coming.

She doesn't know what's coming. So basically, it's rumoured, but it's not official. Right. But there's a lot kind of on the go. Do they pay them? Yeah, there's like a retainer of just existing your costs, basically. But you don't get paid. I feel like so many people regret doing this.

Well, you're signing away your rights. When we spoke to that maths producer who said, we can manipulate you however we want. Yeah. You have to read that and be like... I appreciate your honesty. If I'm going to be manipulated, I like them to be straight up the fact I'm about to be manipulated. We will manipulate you.

And then I'm like, well, I'll do my best not to be manipulated and then somehow I end up manipulated. You know, the joke's on me. Yeah. I mean, this season, so like Jackie Burford, who's the Kiwi, she's been posting like crazy because she's hooked up with one of the other grooms, right? She's moved into his mansion, which is actually very quiet. Anyway, but her husband on the show, Ryan, is like taking her to court for basically like slander

and for impacting his ability to work and all this kind of stuff. I mean, it's going to be excellent. So he won't be back. I don't think he'll ever dip a toe in the maths pool again. You don't think he's coming back? No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't say so. Anyway, stay tuned.

This is not confirmed. It's all rumours and it's all dreams. If you would like to win some cash and you would like to play What's Your Jobby, call us now. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby? What's your jobby?

What's your jobby? We try to guess your job by asking three questions, and if we can do that, you win cash. It's going to happen today. It's May the 1st. May the 1st be with you. May the 1st be with you. No, you're right.

No, you're right. It's Sunday. May the 4th be with you. Why would it be Sunday? It's the 1st. May the 1st be with you. May the 1st be with you. No, you're right. No, you're right. It's Sunday. May the 4th be with you. Why would it be Sunday? It's the 1st of May. May the 1st be with you. It's May the 1st. You would say the 1st awakens.

The 1st awakens. Which is another Star Wars movie. If you guys want to get into Star Wars, we'll get into Star Wars. Mel, happy Star Wars Day to you. Good morning. It's not Star Wars Day yet, but okay. Thank you. I'm just happy to be talking about Star Wars, Mel.

May the 1st be with you. Yeah, I'm going to start. Mel, do you wear a uniform? No. You what? No uniform. No uniform. She doesn't have time, man. Mel, in your job, do you have to worry about the weather?

No. Oh, okay, she's inside. She's inside. No uniform. Teacher. No, teachers have to worry about the weather. Yes, they do. Wet lunchtimes. Do you not remember how chaotic rainy lunchtimes were? And the red flag would be on the field and you weren't allowed to play.

Oh, my God, when the flag was on the field and you weren't allowed to play. Okay. Microbiologist, I reckon. Something in the lab. No, hang on. In the lab. I would have thought a lab coat would have been a uniform of sorts. Mel, at any point during your day, does any part of your body, your hands, your face, your body...

She's familiar with the parts of the body, I believe. Yeah, I was just breaking it down for her. Get messy. Gloves do. Gloves do. Gloves do Gloves Gloves do Gloves do Oh she works with Potting mix

But my body doesn't Okay the gloves Get messy Her body doesn't But her gloves do So she's not a potter Because your body gets messy And if she was a doctor

She'd be covered in blood And there'd be a uniform And there'd be a uniform Well no doctors Don't wear uniforms No uniform Inside And she's got gloves on and she gets a bit messy.

Oh, she wears gloves. But she could be working in like a food... What about a vet? Because your fingers... Vets wear uniforms. Oh, yes they do. Not always. No, they do. My vets do. Yeah, my vet does. Do they? Yeah, they wear a little polo. I like little scrubs. Have you got an off-brand vet?

You just take a bus to a... Does your vet just like rock around in a van? They're like, yeah, I'm looking at you. I reckon she's a vet. No, she's not a vet. They're uniforms. And they don't worry about the weather. Oh, yeah.

Gloves. Gloves. Who wears gloves? What gets mucky with gloves? But her body doesn't. Mechanic? I was thinking like dental stuff because they wear the gloves. Yes.

But they also wear a uniform. They wear a uniform. They wear a uniform. They wear a uniform. There is a uniform. Yeah. What kind of non-uniform wears? It's not in the trades because that's weird. Okay, we need a guess.

We need a guess. No, because your whole body gets me sick. Oh, yeah, because the wheel goes too fast and the wobble wobbles. Who has to wear gloves? Painter. Painter. No, her body would get me sick. No, she'd have to worry about the weather because she can't paint outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't paint outside. Oh, this is cryptic. Who wears gloves? This is cryptic. Who wears gloves? Motorcyclists. No, they have to worry about the weather more than anybody else. I was going to say a Subway sandwich artist, but they wear a uniform.

Yeah, they wear a uniform. They wear a uniform. But they don't have to worry about the weather. They do. We're going around in circles. Who wears gloves? Everyone wears gloves. So many people wear gloves.

Rubber gloves. It's got to be rubber gloves. Because they get messy, so they're disposable. You've got to chuck them away. Yeah. Oh, what about like a specialist? Because they don't wear uniforms. You know what I mean?

And she's. I'm not going to help you. Yeah, shut up now. You can't help us. I think she's a specialist. Because a specialist doesn't wear a uniform. My gynecologist, she just wears her civvies. But she's got gloves.

I tell you what, they get messy. Does she wear a t-shirt that says amateur gynecologist, but I'll give it a look? No. I reckon she's a medical specialist. Is that specific enough? Oh, okay. You want to lock that in. Okay.

Now, is your jobby that of a medical specialist? No. Oh. What do you do now? What do you do? I don't know if you like the steady business.

I work in people's homes who have had accidents. And it can be cleaning, care, shopping. So you're a

care worker. Oh. Amazing job that you do there, Mel. Sorry that we couldn't guess that. The gloves thing, it really threw us, didn't it? She cleans, like, of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Mel. Let's go to Ethan. Good morning, Ethan. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. G'day. This is Ethan Hunt, Tom Cruise's character from the Mission Impossible series. He's an international spy.

Ethan immediately sounds quite down to earth. That's my feeling. Ethan, do you work with your hands? Absolutely. Oh, okay. We've got a tradie here. Yeah, okay, right. Wait, we can work with our hands.

Sorry, his voice is... Do you quite often buy pies and V on your breaks and for lunch? No, shut up, shut up! If he works with his hands, he buys pies. We already know he buys pies. No, because he might be a corporate worker, but he works with his hands. A corporate worker works with his hands.

Have I ever heard an office manager say, I work with my hands, I'd smack him. That's keyboards, his hands. Oh, come on. Get a grip. Come on. Get a grip, Carl Fletcher. Well, Ethan, answer the question.

Do you often have a pie and a V? My co-workers do. I refrain. Oh! Okay, so he's a healthy trainee. He's a trainee. He's a healthy trainee. We're just going to narrow it down which tray. Listen to where he's, like, when he's speaking, there's an echo. It's almost like a plumber.

Or a jib layer. Oh, because he's in there. He's putting a jib layer. You know what I mean? Because he's in there. He's putting the jibs up. Yeah. You'd say builder for that. Because we want to encompass, we want to capture a carpenter. Or I'm in a room hiding from my boss because I'm not supposed to be on my phone.

Oh, naughty boy. Okay, let's be quick. Let's be quick. Last question. He's hiding from his boss. Last question. Narrow down the trade. I feel it's either plumber or Sparky.

Okay. Ask him if he gets wet. Do you? Yeah, because if you're a Sparky, you don't want to get wet. Sparkies don't get wet or they're in trouble, man. Yeah, they'll get. Are you, do you often worry about getting a shock? Oh, that's a good one.

No, but wait. Builders. No, no, no. Because Builders would when they drill through a wall. No, that's a good one. No, but wait. Build it. No, no, no. Because builders would when they drill through a wall. No, but like this bloody spark isn't tied off the bloody cables. Yeah, okay.

Yes, I worry about if I get a shock. We've got it. We've got it. Okay, go, Vaughn. Go. Ethan, are you an electrician? No, I'm a welder.

Oh. They get shocks. They get shocks. Dude, there is nothing cooler than watching a good weld What are you welding? What are you welding together? I saw somebody welding something yesterday And I know you're not meant to look at the thing But I looked at it

That's addictive isn't it? Look it right in the eye Yeah I looked it right Try not to look at it You'll burn your retinas I make kitchen benchtops Right Stainless steel kitchen benchtops

Oh okay I went to Emu and I tell you what I regret it It'sops. Right. Stainless steel kitchen benchtops. Oh, okay. I went to Emu and I tell you what, I regret it. It's too soft. I wish I went stainless steel. You should have got Ethan round for a stainless steel. Next house, Ethan. Sorry, Ethan. Let's go to Casey last for What's Your Jobbie.

Good morning, Casey. Hi, how are you? Really good. First question. I wonder if it's Casey from the Casey Clinic because then now we know she's a beautician. I don't know if it is. Okay, do you

deal with people's private parts for your job? Jesus Christ. If she says yes, then I've narrowed it down. She says no, you have done nothing. Because Casey Clinic,

beautician, doctor, nurse. Luckily, no. Okay, Okay. Luckily, no. Okay, great. Luckily, no. Well, I've narrowed it down. She sounds like she's outside.

Casey. No, I am in the rain, yes. You're in the rain. In the rain. Okay. Casey, for your job, do you have to worry about the weather? Yes, I do. Okay.

She's outside. Do we have animals? Do we have animals here? Or I'm like, do we have animals here, mate? They're everywhere, these bloody animals. Outside. Or transport. She could work at the airport.

Do you know what I mean? She could be traffic control. She could be a vet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Casey, do you work with animals? Yes. All right, bingo. Oh, okay.

Like an outdoor vet. Just say vet. Okay. Casey. Are you in the veterinarian field? Yes. Oh, that's a bit loose. No, we'll say, are you a veterinarian? No, no, I'm not.

Oh, dairy farmer. No. What are you? I work at ANZCO as a store person with the animals. Oh, okay. You work at where? ANZCO. ANZCO as a store person with the animals. Oh, okay. You work at where? ANZCO. ANZCO.

Yeah, it's a meat processing company. I was going to say. Work with animals. I cut them off. Work with animals. I work with animals. I work with small portions of animals. I work with animals. I work with small portions of animals. You take one big animal and make it into more delicious portions of animal.

Well, I work with animals. Are you familiar with a bolt gun? I put it right to the temple of the cow and end its life quickly and smartly. What's your favourite animal? Mints. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley. What day is Mother's Day? Sunday.

No, no, next Sunday. Not this Sunday, next Sunday. I just got nervous when you were mentioning it. I was like, oh God, I've forgotten. Now, I would describe our lovely producer, Carwin, as a sweetie, as someone who would never commit an abhorrent crime. A law-abiding sweetie.

A law-abiding sweetie citizen, but apparently But a bad but a badass bitch don't take no shit from nobody. Yeah but legally very abiding.

Very abiding. But you've been you've been you've been accused. Yeah oh my god my heart is genuinely racing guys. I don't get nervous

to go on the radio anymore but I am right now. What has happened? So Shannon doesn't even know so I'm trying to hide from her. As you can see I have a letter. Oh okay. She's got props. Oh oh wow a letter you're in trouble okay so when i open it uh it's my address and everything and it's like what is it we'll read it out no no no

come on and it says payment instructions and i'm like oh gosh have I got a fine? Like, have I sped accidentally? God, I would never. But anyways, happens. Okay. Dear, my full name. We are waiting. She doesn't want to say her middle name. Carmanella. Don't tell everyone. Okay.

It says, we're writing to you as you're the registered owner of Numberplate. Your details have been obtained by the motor vehicle register. Yeah. Shannon's just seen motor vehicle register. Yeah. Shannon's just seen what I have. You drove a Toyota Aquar. I do. I do. Ram raid. We believe a vehicle with your number

plate acquired $140 and 65 cents of fuel without full payment being received. You didn't pay for your gas! Anyways, it goes on. Wait a minute. It says this could be an error in our system or you could have been the stolen or doctored

plates, like da-da-da-da. Please call us or pay here. Now, you will see there is a terrible photo of me. The worst photo. I look so depressed. Amazing. I'm in a sack of a dress. It's you.

It's you. But there's no way $140 worth of petrol would fit in your car. Thank you, Vaughan. So it says that I obtained 54.75 litres of fuel. Do you know how much fuel my car can hold? What, like 30 tops? You might have poured some on the back seat.

Because sometimes I get distracted and I just look and it's just pouring out. Pouring out. Pouring out. Oh my gosh. All over the forey.

All over the forey, yeah. I drop a bit of diesel on the forecourt and get a wheel going on the way out. Yeah. That's a couple of bucks tops. I am a sensible gal.

I refuel my car full to the top every payday. It costs me max $80 of fuel is really expensive that week. Usually it's like $70. So the fact that it's double that is confusing to me. Have they got their pumps mixed around? So I use the Shpeepy app.

I don't know if it's... The Shpeepy? Great work disguising a petrol station you go to. No one's going to know who sent you this. I never said it. I go to a petrol station. Let's call it Shpeeshie, great work disguising what Petra Session you go to. No one's going to know who sent you this. I never said it. I go to a Petra Session, let's call it Shpeepie. I go to Spoutix.

I'm nervous, okay? I'm nervous. I go to Spallange. Yeah, you're a Spallange guy. Spallange. Actually, I just get my Petra from Spoutix. I go to Skarl. Skarl.

So I use their app. So on the app, it says that I was there at 12.36. Now this letter says that I was there at 12.38. Oh. Not you, not your problem. So it's not me, right? Sounds like someone's not doing a very good job at investigating here, shpeepy. Yeah, shpeepy.

Don't come for me, Shpeepy. Or whatever service station this is. Does Shpeeshpee hire this out to a third party? Like, who messaged you? Look, it says BP. We're going to need a lawyer up. We're going to need a lawyer up. I've watched enough legal shows to know that we can prove that the tank in your car can't even take that amount of gas.

Yeah. So we've got Shpeepee on the back foot already. Yeah. I also have the Shpeepee app, like, receipt. I have my credit card receipt because that's what's going on. Now you're going to need to go into a Shpee Shpee. I'm going to need to go into a Shpee Shpee to do an on-site investigation. Was it one with a wild bean and will there be Memphis chicken bites?

No, schwoz bean. You're giving it away. Schwoz bean. And will I never make it a schpie as well? One with a wild bean and will there be Memphis chicken bites? No, schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Give me it away. Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa...

Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... Schwa... because I think maybe Georgia or someone else at our station has had this happen. Excuse me, no, she steals. She steals fuel. Yes, she does.

She actually just drives off without it. But whoever it was, they had actually accidentally just driven off and so they were like, okay, cool as. But I don't understand this because I use their app, so surely it should link, right? This is a shpeep shpeep.

She's a shpeep shpeep. She shpeed. Did someone just hone up behind you and just really quickly chuck in 30 litres and just hone off? Like it's the start of yours and then the end of theirs. But when you use the app, it cuts off at the app amount that you've set it to?

I don't know. Also, it's always empty. I reckon you could end up in prison and we might need a new producer far out I mean I'd love to not wake up at 4am

yeah we were just saying the fall of a prison stay I think at prison it's pretty early because you hear the screams at 4am the screams wake you up

at 4am even in white collar prison and then you've got to get to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone yeah because you're on breakfast

and then you do the library because you've got your book doc and then you've got to do to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. Yeah, because you're on breakfast. You're on breakfast. And then you do the library because you've got your book doc. And then you've got to do prison radio because you're the only one with any radio skills. So you're still doing breakfast radio. Now, Blake Lively's been doing the rounds for her new movie, Another Simple Favour,

which has Anna Kendrick in it and what not. Do you think, because we do a lot of interviews and before the interviews, they always say don't ask personal questions or don't ask about OZMPAC or don't ask about this do you reckon

every interviewer before this is don't ask about don't ask about the bloody Jeff what's his name Baldoni the whole lawsuit

yeah Jeff what's his name Jeff Bezos Jeff Bezos don't ask about Jeff Jeff the Wiggle don't ask

don't ask Blake Lively about Jeff the Wiggle Wait what's his name? Baldoni I can't remember it, hang on it's in the chat Justin Jeff Jeff the Wiggle Jeff the Sleepy Wiggle Wake up Jeff

Everybody's with me But you know that there are going to be like, no questions about this. Oh, 100%. You imagine having the balls. She'd just walk out, right? Yeah. Oh, 100%. Then cut the interview.

So she has been on the red carpet and she wore this amazing like mint green dress, but everyone noticed under the pit where we be sweating, fake tan be leaking. Oh, so the whole mint green strap has gone brown and motley. Bondi Sands, brown. I could never do, I get sweaty. Mate, and you see like a red carpet.

If you were in a suit and a suit jacket, that's fine. But the minute you're not in the jacket, I'd just be, and they'd be like, Smith again, a sweaty mess on the carpet. Yeah, what's he hiding? Yeah, I sweat too. Do you know lots of celebrities all the same they get Botox in their pits

because it stops the sweat glands. Stops the sweat. So before the Oscars lots of them get the in there. Yeah, but no, but it goes somewhere else so your foot starts leaking. Yeah, you've got a big ass patch.

Imagine if you don't know where it comes out until you get the Botox. Yeah, and you're like, oh my God, it's my butt. It starts coming out of your cheek on the red carpet. You're just like,

oh no. Or it drips out of your ears. Like, it comes out of your earlobes and so your ears are just dripping onto the outside of your cheek. It's got to go somewhere or you just pump up. But this is a bad fake tan

because I've had fake tans before. I'm getting one today because I'm hosting the gala tomorrow night. Yeah. And if you do it right and then wash it off and then look after your skin, it doesn't rub.

Yeah. I mean, that's the way brides, brides always get spray tans. They wear white dresses. Now, I'm sure there will be people who have had nightmares in their white dresses. Yes. This is what we want to know this morning,

is what was your fake tan malfunction? Was it the sheets? Was it? My favourite is when someone gets a spray tan, you know you can't get wet, and they cry. And then they've got these big white streaks. You leave and get caught in the rain. What happens if you get wet? That's when the

gremlins shoot out of your back. If you get a spray tan you can't be fed up to midnight. Please don't do an 80s reference. Don't do an 80s reference. Rebooting gremlins which I'm very excited about. The gremlins come out and they re-rub in the spray tan. And they just make an absolute shambles of your neighbourhood. They're also rebooting Desperate Housewives.

They should reboot both into one show. Oh my God, Desperate Gremlins! Yes. Great idea. I'm watching that. We want to know

your fake tan whoopsies. 0800 DALS at MSN number. Call us now. You can text through 9696. The worse the better. How bad was your fake tan whoopsie? We want to know what was your fake tan whoopsie?

How bad was it? Ahead ofopsie? We want to know what was your fake tan, whoopsie? How bad was it? Sarah. Ahead of me getting a spray tan this afternoon. Sarah, what happened? Good morning, Tame. Good morning. I decided to give myself a bit of like a little pamper evening. Beautiful.

I shaved my legs, did a face mask, you know, and I did self-tan last, which was great. Decided to treat myself to a little wine while I was doing it. Lovely. Is the end of this that you ended up drinking two bottles of wine and the fake tan, forgot you had fake tan on and then you woke up orange? No, no, and I didn't drink the fake tan either. Okay, good.

But I, like, successfully looked really good, stoked. You know, got up the next day, went to work, was wearing a dress, and it was brought to my attention that I'd only fake tanned the front of my legs. Oh, God. And all of the backs of my legs were still bright white. Sarah, no! How did you do that? Because you don't see the back of your legs.

Exactly. So I got up in the morning, looked in the mirror. I looked amazing, great. The tan was incredible. I know you don't see the back of your legs, but you are aware that they're there. Yes, yes, I was. But look, I did a great check before I finished up.

Looked perfect from the front. I love that. Oh my God, that's so good. Sarah, thank you. Hayley. Never wine and tan. That's the lesson. What was your fake tan whoopsie?

Well, this was about 20 years ago. Okay. Technology's changed, I think, since then. Yes. But I was asked specifically if I was on antibiotics or if I had taken any medication because it would upset the, I don't know, the levels,

whatever you call them. Yeah. And so I thought, I lied. And I said, no, I'm not on antibiotics. And I was. Okay. And I thought, well, how bad could it be? What was the disease Michael Jackson said he had?

Fiddleigo. Yes, that's what I looked like. Patchy patchy. What is it? Wait, did you get a fake tan as in a tanning bed or was it a spray on? It was a spray. It was a spray tan. And it was affected by antibiotics?

What? It was. What? It was. It must have upset the, I don't know what the chemicals. Okay, so just a quick Google. Antibiotics can affect fake tan by altering how the sunless tanning solution interacts with your skin. Certain antibiotics, like Doxy, that's a popular one, can increase skin sensitivity to the sun as well.

Doxy, that's the Samoan antibiotics, isn't it? I don't get it. What's your joke? Oh, you're not Samoan. Don't worry about it, Marlo. Good morning to my little Tongan. No, it's for you, bro. Just because you've got a gold tooth.

Oh, my oof. That was a bad joke. It's because of Doxy. Doxy, do it. Good morning to my little Tongan. Bro, just got a gold tooth. Oh, my oos. That was bad. That was a bad joke. It's because of dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs.

Dogs. Come on, guys. Okay, so be careful if you're on antibiotics and you're fake tanning. Cheapest. Hayley, thank you.

Anonymous, what was your fake tan whoopsie? Mine was, I had gone and got my spray tan. It was all nice and it was beautiful. Had gone and sat down to go for a wee because every time I go to a gym, I need a wee.

Yep. So I'm sitting down, finished doing my wee, stand up thinking that I'm fine, didn't dry myself properly and drizzled all down the back of my leg. Drizzled? Oh, yeah.

I can see why you're not anonymous. You drizzled? Oh, yeah. I can see why you got anonymous. You drizzled down your leg? Drizzled is gross. Dribbled would have been, yeah, drizzled is gross. You might as well say, I spressed piss all down the inside of my leg. Oh, yeah. And so you just had lines.

Did you just have lines running down? Yeah, it was just a line that had just gone all the way down to pretty much my ankle. And I looked in the mirror and I was just like, oh, frick. Your ankle! You dribbled paint down. Amazing. This is so good.

Anonymous, thank you. Do you know what I would say the most popular text we've had in? What? A woman who, after they have a baby, there's a few where they're presenting the baby to a crowd. Yep. And they're like, I need to look my best. They get themselves a full spray tan and then they have to breastfeed the child

and then the child's face gets half brown. Yeah. I've seen this before on the internet. It's so funny. Yeah. Because you've got to wait. The baby can't wait. The baby's got to feed when the baby's got to feed.

Yeah. Somebody said when this procession of people came through their house, three or four people said, I think your baby's got jaundice. You need to contact me. No, it's Bondi Sands. My baby's got a thick cover of Bondi Sands. So we had some Instagram responses.

My cousin fell asleep on a tanning bed two days before her wedding. No. Those things are brutal. They've been banned, right? Nope. A lot of places, but you can still go. You can still do them.

Somebody else said they breastfed their son and he looked like Homer Simpson at the end because the thing was perfectly, you know, when Homer grows a beard on the Simpsons,

it's just around his mouth. Someone texted, I got a spray tan, forgot to lift up my boobs because, you know, the boobs sit down as they're, and so you've got to lift it up because otherwise

this whole bit underneath is white. Oh, it's like a white under... But then how do you... Oh, my God. Okay, yeah, that's... This is me because when you drive home you sort of just sit upright

so that your boobs don't sag too much. Could you just stand kind of like... You're hovering. Have them down like udders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like udders, yeah. Yeah, that'd be a safest. putting a little bit of nylon

through your nipple piercings and sort of tying it to the root? To your ears. To the ears? That could be hard on the ears, though. Depending on the size of the breast, hard on the ear. Yeah, the weight of the breast. I used spray and did it in my room. It was like the cops had marked out a body on the carpet when...

Oopsie-daisy. Someone said I grabbed the Bondi Sansa spray and sprayed it on my hair thinking it was dry shampoo oh what would happen there would it wash out it would just be dirty

it would wash out but yeah if you had blonde hair it would be a bit stained I slept in my fake tan and I also tanned my face I forgot that I'm a dribbler in my sleep

and I woke up and washed it all off and I had a big dribble mark down the side of my face dribbling right down my chin I'm a dribbler too I'm a big driler down my chin. I'm a dribbler too. I'm a big dribbler. Yeah.

Not a pea dribbler though, like our last caller. No. Anonymous. Spritzer anonymous. I think she was a drizzler. A drizzler. A drizzler. She was a urinal.

Drizzler. When we were young, my friend couldn't afford fake tan, so we mixed cocoa powder and moisturiser. Oh, okay. So I figured this might have been the foray of an 11 or a 12-year-old. Yeah. Oh, no. Because we went to the club and we smelled like hot chocolate the entire night.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. He's coming in August. His two shows have sold out. But he joins us right now. Hey, Alex. What up? How are you?

I'm bloody good, mate. We're good. You're about to come over to New Zealand. And I just need to pull you up on something, Alex. There is a quote that you have said about coming to New Zealand where you have quoted that you're really excited to try Vegemite. Now, that is Australian, my brother. But it is. It's the good one. It's the good one. But we'reegemite. Now, that is Australian, my brother. But it is.

It's the good one. It's the good one, but we're Marmite. Got it, okay. But it tastes similar, yeah? It all just tastes really weird, my dude. I'm excited nonetheless to see which one tastes better. So you've never been to New Zealand before. What else do you know about it,

other than now that Marmite is our spread of choice? Well, growing up, I grew up with a lot of surfers from New Zealand and Australia, so it's kind of just like, I know you guys are known for rugby too. Do you think in August you'll be having a surf anywhere? It's quite cold in August. I don't know yet. It's definitely not too cold though.

I grew up surfing like 50 degree weather, which I don't know what it is in Celsius. Yeah, it's definitely cold, but I'm down. I love surfing so much. I've always wanted to surf on that side of the world. And like if you're from the States, you'd have a hang loose, but we call it a shakas.

Yeah, my wife's from Hawaii, so it's a shaka there too, but it's interesting. Yeah, in California, we call it hang loose, which is, I don't know if anyone actually said that. Yeah, I think shakas is better. Are we still saying cowabunga and stuff? No, that's embarrassing.

Dude, rad, I like cowabunga. I'm kind of down to bring it back. Okay. Could you put it into a song, perhaps? Could you have a song called Cowabunga that goes viral? Cowabunga becomes the word of the decade. That could be cool, honestly. I've already got the rhyme.

And so I sung a cowabunga. No, don't. That's cool. Yeah. No, don't. Oh, my God. That's cool. Yeah, see, he agrees. Oh, I'm sorry, two people without massive songs. I'm going to go with the guy who's a recording artist on this one. So I sung a kawabunga.

Mark it down when it appears in an Alex Warren song. I will be coming for my writing credits. I'm embarrassed for everybody here. And exciting as well because you're originally going to play one small venue in New Zealand, and now it's two big venues. That must be pretty cool. It's really cool. It's honest.

I was shocked. I didn't realize that my song had really traveled that far, I guess. And I'm still five months ago. I couldn't even sell 250 tickets. So here we are kind of doing all this crazy stuff. So I'm really hoping that, really hoping it, it's just exciting,

honestly. I'm not even hoping for anything. I'm just excited. You're going to love where you're playing because like, like if you combined your shows together, you could probably go to one of our arenas, but you're playing at the Civic Theatre, which is honestly,

I mean, we've played it actually. We've done it once ourselves. But it's incredible. And then the, the town hall hall which is just like beautiful so you're in for a treat architecturally architecturally yeah historically hell yeah i love i love architecture how long do you get to stay around new zealand for do you know

i have no idea i don't know i'm just i go where i'm told and if i get to go visit anywhere i kind of just go and do it it's kind of it's it's really nice i typically don't even go where i'm told and if i get to go visit anywhere i kind of just go and do it it's kind of it's it's really nice i typically don't even know where i am the next day uh and i tour about 11 months out of the year so it's been a lot of my days kind of just going and and finding out what city i think right well if there's no time to surf there is a wave pool out west yeah and we could turn the waves on yeah that's actually a actually a good west wave. We could probably pull some strings and get some waves in the pool.

It's got a hydroslide too if you're into that. I think I'm going to bring my surfboard regardless and just hope for the best. We actually, Vaughan and I actually

live near one of our good surf beaches so I've got a good couch. I'm not taking him there. I'm not taking him to that beach. That's a dangerous, dangerous beach.

No, we actually don't want to kill Alex Warren when he comes to New Zealand and plays too. Not for a wave pool. A wave pool sounds fun. Okay, we'll take you to the pool Alex Warren when he comes to New Zealand and plays two songs. Not for a wave pool. A wave pool sounds fine. Okay, we'll take you to the pool.

Not until he's written that song, then she sung a kawabanga, and then if there's an incident and obviously his memorial song blows up and I get my writing credits, then that's fine. We can take it to the beach. You're just trying to get your publisher. Yeah, dude. Alex Warren, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us. We'll see you in August. At the pool.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley I'm taking Christine to the Taranaki for Mother's Day the Taranaki can you see my mum for wait wait

what Mother's Day you want me to do Mother's Day with your mum and my mum yeah tick it off

okay I can do that thank you I'm going to be in Wellington I'm going to be a force to be reckoned with should they combine oh yeah because you're a sensible woman

they're too sensible and they just say it like it is they say it like it is oh gosh don't have Patsy in the mix because she says it like it is but she'll be on the turps you know

well it's Sunday she's having a couple it's her bloody day she's having a couple of wines why wouldn't she last night I received an online challenge from some 13-year-olds

to do the 2.0 version of the Ice Bucket Challenge. We spoke about this yesterday or the day before. It's back. The Ice Bucket Challenge is back. It is back. So last time it was for ASL, right? ALS. ALS.

Also known as Lou Gehrig. Did an amazing thing. Actually raised awareness, taught people all about it and raised a whole lot of money in the search record fantastic it's back this time for mental health

raised awareness for mental health and stuff I didn't do it last time and I'm not gonna I don't think I even got challenged last time

I was in my cynical era last time I don't think people thought I was approachable enough to but now of course people see me and they're like

that's a friendly face they never say they never say to you guys I don't think people thought I was approachable enough to. But now, of course, people see me and they're like, that's a friendly face. Do they? They never say. He's warmed it up a bit. They never say to you guys, is he okay? They never say that to you in public, do they? They always say that. Definitely not yesterday, too, people asked me if you were right.

Yeah, yeah, nah. No. No, no, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry. This is just what my face looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll speak to my mother about it on our eight-hour road trip. Is he all right? For Mother's Day. Is he all right? I'll be like, where does this face come from? Well, we, yeah. I'll speak to my mother about it on our eight hour road trip. Is he alright?

For Mother's Day. Is he alright? I'll be like, where does this face come from? Well, we're going down to see the old family farm so I assume we're going to meet other cousins

with the same face. And we'll all be sitting there and we'll be like, how are you? And they'll be like, good. You just don't look it. You don't bloody look it.

But anyway, that's just my face. I'm fine. So you've been approached because you're so approachable. I've been challenged by some 13 yearyear-old boys that my daughter used to go to school with last year.

Right. But here's how I believed I was involved in this. Okay. Yesterday, one of their mothers sent me a picture of her husband in high-vis gear. And she said, I hold you solely responsible for the fact that he now thinks this is a good look.

Oh, you're an influencer. What have you got today? An orange one or something? I've got my orange one. Orange one? It's not work attire. It's not work attire. It's not work appropriate.

It's not work appropriate. I say with bare feet and a torn skirt. Darning some socks. Darning some socks as we work. You know, you've got to look nice at work. Oh, yeah. So she sent me a photo and I said hot damn, that is a good look.

And she said, according to you and him, I said give that man a lap dance because he was sitting down on the couch. Don't tell him that. And she said, I'm too busy. And I said, yeah, we've all heard that bullshit before. Okay, yeah. You've made an enemy. You've made an enemy. Please watch your language. I do apologise.

We've all heard that BS excuse before. Thank you. Yes. It wasn't that hard, was it? It wasn't that hard. You're right. I could be a better person.

Bird shite. What's wrong with them? Watch your language, please. I said bird shite. Bird poopies. Bird poopy. Bird poops. Thank you.

We've all heard that cow poo before. Thank you. And she laughed and then a few hours later, I was the only adult male tagged in this video. This is vengeance. This is vengeance of sorts. Right, from her kids. Yeah, from her kids. Right.

Then they tagged me in, but they're all friends with all of Indy's friends. And then Indy's like, Dad, what's going on here? I'm like, what's happened? She's like, you've been challenged to the ice bucket challenge. Oh my God. And I'm like, I can't believe this is a thing again.

I know. I didn't do it then and I'm not doing it now I mean great causes both times around I'm in the best shape of my life and I've really been

working out hard at the gym for ages and I actually am quite happy with how my body looks at the moment I'm going to have to take my shirt off oh no

no people do it with their shirts on you want me to do it now no no no people do it with their shirts on no no no I've seen enough

yeah you can put your arms down why are you holding them up by your head like that I don't know that's just how I figure Do it now. No, no, no. People do it with their shirts on. No, no, no. I've seen enough. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. You don't want to see it again? Why are you holding them up by your head like that? I don't know. That's just how I figure you do the ice bucket challenge. You're tense.

No, no, no. People just do it with their clothes on. That's the whole thing. But I mean, definitely, if you've been working out and you want to show off, I mean, do it without it. I thought it was just a way of getting my shirt off without being that guy who's just taking his shirt off for no reason. Because I can't get my clothes wet.

I'm at work. Can you challenge me in four weeks? Can we just bring back the ice bucket challenge in two years? Just to give me enough time. Maybe I'll always impact him there. I've got physical plans. Whoever's going to film this, come with me. I'm going to get my pomp on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it at the gym. Yeah, and then you can do the ice bucket challenge with flattering lights and perfect angles. Wait, so when are you going to do this? We're at a video department. You're going to do this at work later after the show. I don't know.

Okay. Oh, yeah. I don't know if there's a guy who's got a towel and a spare pair of undies. I don't know. If you guys are going to force me into it. Wow, he wants to do it. He wants to do it. Have you got nice undies on, though?

I'm not going to be... What's that? Because I know that cold water's kind on the body, but not all of it. Well, you've got to be careful because do you remember the ice bucket challenge last time around? A lot of people got down trailed by the large buckets of icy water. Oh, my God. Let's down trail it. but not all of it. Well, you've got to be careful because do you remember the ice bucket challenge last time around? A lot of people got down trailed by the large buckets of icy water. Oh my god, let's down trail it. Don't down trail it.

The gym can only do so much. Yeah, the gym can only flick so much. I'm trying, but that's just the one that's not changing. Okay, well, prepare to see Vaughan's ice bucket challenge 2.0. And his body. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So we've talked this week all about popes. We talked about the female pope, Joan Pope. Joan Pope. Joan Pope. Dressed up like a boy. Dressed up as a boy. Pushed out a baby. Yeah, got it through, and then they brought in the seat with the hole in the bottom

so they can feel the... to make sure that it is a man that's going to be a pope. We talked about the worst pope. Remember the worst pope? Real shenanigans he got up to. And the magic pope, who just turned out to be significantly more intelligent than the people around him, but they couldn't explain it.

So, of course, it's witchcraft and wizardry. Yeah, of course. Today, I want to talk about the Pope that put the previous Pope on trial. But the previous Pope was dead. What? Okay. In 897.

I wanted to say 1897 because 897 seems insane Pope Stephen the 11th VI that's Stephen the 11th are you looking up the spicy Mexican

cheese balls while I'm trying to do the fact of the day I told you not to I told you not to because I would find it awfully distracting because I said

the only thing that could make cheese balls better would be if they were spicy see these ones are bigger and spicy and they're so yum how much bigger like these ones because you know spicy and they're so yum. How much bigger?

Because, you know, I feel like cheese balls have got smaller. They have got smaller. But these ones are like, I reckon, almost double the size. You know, Cheetos. Maybe it's 90s cheese. Cheetos, cheese puffs.

These are bolitas. Bolitas. Bolitas. I'm thinking of importing them. Dude, we should start a Mexican import ring and then before you know it we could be importing

drugs oh I don't want to do that I don't want to get into that I just want cheese balls money think about it we could sell the drugs we buy more cheese balls

there's money no there's money in cheese balls I don't want to get into the crime side of things sorry anyway carry on hope stuff imagine that

that the what is it MPAT MPAT Ministry of Primary Industries Get into the crime side of things. Sorry. Anyway, carry on. Hope stuff. Hope stuff. Who was it? MPAT? MPAT? Ministry of Primary Industries? Do they look after the imports and stuff? Yeah. Or the customs? They look after cocaine.

They're importing primarily from Mexico and nothing but cheese balls. We believe they're importing drugs and they check every shipment and we're just like, dude, you couldn't be more wrong. Tear the bags open, man. It's cheese balls.

You tear them open, you're buying them. I had a whole bag. They're so delicious. Spicy cheese balls. All right, so Pope Stephen XI put his- But when are we going to get them? That's the thing.

I'm on Amazon now, Hayley. He's like, you're going to love them, but we're not in Mexico, nor will we be anytime soon. So you've just put disappointment into our life. I'm importing. I'm importing them. Carry on. So Pope Stephen XI put his dead predecessor, Pope Formosus,

which is, I believe they used to get them Formosus tables and they had their Formica named after him, of course. So they dug him up, dressed him up in his Pope clothes, sat him on a throne and cross-examined a rotting body in a real courtroom. Formosus commonly refers to the medical condition called phimosis, where the foreskin cannot be retracted fully. So there was a Pope foreskin.

Is that what you're saying? No, Pope not fully retracted foreskin. Pope un-retracted foreskin. Un-retractable. Okay. Un-retractable. Tight foreskin. Tight foreskin.

So Pope tight forey. As he shall be belovedly known. From here on out, Pope Tight Fourie was put on the driveway by Stephen. Do you know there's a Pope? One of the Popes in the running. I saw this. Also, he's a Tight Fourie. No, his name's Pizza Parlor or something.

No, he's not. It isn't. It is. What? Mr. Pizza Parlor. Shannon, you've It is. What? Mr. Pizza Power. Shannon, you've heard this. Dance party pizza guy. It's like...

His name's Dance Party Pizza or something. In Italian. Yeah, not in... Pizza Dance Party or something. Oh, I thought it was bloody... No, but he stands for pizzas and dancing and parties. So that's my vote if I was going to the con class. Yeah, his name...

Oh, wait, so it's not his vote on the Pope. No, I do, yeah. So you're saying when he does take his name... No, his name is... His current name, but he'd have to change it if vote on the Pope. No, I do, yeah. So you're saying when he does take his name... No, his name is... His current name, but he'd have to change it if he became the Pope. Yeah, they have to change it. All the girlies are asking him to be Pope Pizza Party. Yeah, but his name translates from Italian to English.

It's Pizza Party. It's Pizza Party. Fletch, it's lovely to agree with you for once. This could... Wow. Because you stand so poles apart on every other issue. Every other issue. Okay.

Well, anyway, I either want Tite Fori or Pizza Party Pope in the running. Well, no, Tite Fori died like 1,200 years ago. So they dug him up. They dug up Tite Fori and put him on one of his robes and they sat him on the throne and cross-examined him. It's known as the cadaver synod. Ew. So why did it happen?

Well, it was politics. It was absolute chaos in Italy at the time. And when Pope Tite Fori was in charge, he'd made powerful enemies because he was quite liberal and had moved against what the people in power thought. So he wasn't tight. He was liberal. Yeah.

Well, no, he was liberal in life but tight in foreskin. So they dug him up. They charged him with perjury, violating church law and serving as the Pope illegally even though they dug him up and dressed him as the Pope

and said, it's actually illegal for you to be wearing those Pope clothes and pretending to be the Pope still. So then they stripped him of papal vestments even though he was already dead. All his acts as Pope were declared invalid and they cut off three fingers on his right hand, because those were the three fingers

he'd used for blessings, and then threw the mutilated body into the Tiber River. That seems a bit dramatic. Crazy, eh? And then so even a few months later, Pope Stephen XI was arrested in prison and then strangled to death in a cell while awaiting trial

because there was this revolution against him after what started as such a chilled out way to start being a pope by digging up a dead body and putting it on trial. Yeah, that seems pretty low key. Yeah, so low key. Have you ordered the cheese balls? No, the shipping is killing me.

As soon as we stopped talking about foreskins, you were out. Yeah. He was like, you've lost me. Back to the balls. Back to balls. Back to balls. Anyway. So today's fact of the day.

As Pope Stephen XI once dug up the previous Pope. Lovingly known as. As Pope Tidefory and put him on trial. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Two corrections. It was Pope Stephen VI. V is five. Sorry, I was confused.

All this talk about Mexican cheese balls got me really baffled. And then someone asked messages and saying, you white people are crazy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You've suffered a loss. Guys, it's heartbreaking. So my guy, the massage guy that I've gone to for the last,

I want to say three years, found a guy. He just knows. He knows the bod. If anything's sore, I go in there, and it's normally fixed within one or two appointments. Gets right in there. I've done cupping. He's done the cupping sometimes.

What does he reach under and just cup them? He just holds his hand. From the front or from between the legs? That's why you're like this guy. I prefer to go if I'm on my stomach back. Spread the legs apart

and cup them from behind. Cupping is when, you know, all those like perfectly circle hickeys. Yeah. You see people like swimming. Dr. Wynn does my cupping.

I'd say even if you got a hickey, get it covered up with a cup. Although you don't really do it on the neck. It's not a huge. I've had them on the shoulder. No, so you had a chakra realignment. Yeah, that's true.

Something like that. Anyway, so yesterday, because I've had a bit of a sore shoulder and I've had the massage gun on it. Didn't really do anything. They're not good, no. It just needs a good working over. From a man who knows what he's doing. A man who knows what he's doing.

Go to the shop yesterday. First of all, it's in this little arcade in the city, and there's a bloody news crew filming a story in the middle of the mall. I'm like, I have to walk past this guy getting in. What are they talking about? I don't know, but it was that guy that's always on, I want to say maybe he's been on the news for years. John Campbell.

No, not him. Wait, are you talking about the reporter? The reporter. Michael Mora. Simon Dello. No. Maybe, not him. Wait, you're talking about the reporter? The reporter. Michael Mora. Simon Dallow. No. Maybe Michael Mora. Am I on the right track?

Might have been him. Michael Mora's here now. No, not him. It's not him. Is it the short guy? Yes. That's on Seven Sharp? Yes.

That does the motorsport stuff? I don't know. He did the Land Rover story. I don't know. That guy. I think it's that guy. Anyway, they're in the middle of this arcade and I have to walk to the massage place.

And so I'm like, there's no, I have to go like right past it. So I'm going to be on a news clip looking sweaty with my gym bag and my bags walking past. Shucks. Looking like, you know. Wait, I'm sorry. Hang on a second. Disorientated.

Do you go to the massage place sweaty? No, no. I had changed and stuff, but it was quite humid. It was quite humid. Michael, I'm sorry. Hang on a second. Disorientated. Do you go to the massage place sweaty? No, no. I had changed and stuff. But it was quite humid. It was quite humid. Michael Holland. That guy. It was Michael Holland.

Was it Michael Holland? I was filming a piece. So I'm going to be walking past this. This guy. Looking all. Michael Holland. Yeah, that guy. The nicest man.

Yes. Simply man. Simply the nicest man. I will say though that they were right in the middle of the thoroughfare taking up the entire space. I take it all back. What a prick. Yeah, I'm going to make up my own mind about Michael. I've never been one.

And based on our first impressions of this thoroughfare blockage. So the thoroughfare is blockage. Thoroughfare is blockage. Be blockage. He's blockaged the thoroughfare. He's like a dam on a river. I get to the massage place that I've gone to for the last few years, and it's closed down. Not a sign saying, I'm gone.

They don't even know. Maybe that's what he was down there. Maybe that's the story he was down there. No, he was talking to someone I didn't recognise about something. Also, his massage place is in an arcade. It doesn't feel like newsworthy when it closes down. No, it would be though because it's another casualty of Central Auckland.

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, it's just gone. There's nothing on the Facebook page. Can you find him? No, there's no answer to the message. He's gone. My guy's gone. Your guy's gone. When you lose your guy, it's awful. Because they know you.

You lost your gal. Yeah, Dr. Thea Ashman. Have you thought about going back to Meow? Remember when we went to Meow? Well, Meow was in the suburbs and she walked on my back. She had a rail on her roof. No, you don't do that. I love getting walked on.

Oh, you've got to come to Golden Fingers. Welcome. Welcome, welcome. I don't know. What about Fanny's Massage? No, not Fanny's Massage. I don't want to go to your Fanny's. What about a mixture of Fanny's, Golden Fingers Massage?

No, last time I went to Fanny's Massage, I cried. Okay, the controversial, I don't like when the Thai Massage ends with the bendy back and the- I'm not a huge fan. It's an unstretched, massive white giant. I don't want that. I don't want that. I want the Chinese, you know... No, Chinese is too tough for me. No, I like...

That's what I want. I'm there to get fixed. Right, okay. Okay. If we're going for controversial massage, I like a Russian. Yeah, really? I like a Russian massage. Can't beat an Israeli massage.

I want a deep tissue. No, too much for me. But now I've got to find a new, this is. Oh, dude, I hate it. When are you going to find a new person? Because, you know, when you go to a massage place, it's always whoever's on the ship and you're a different person. You can request.

Some of them are good, some of them aren't. The barber I go to. Yeah. I go in and if I don't book, if I'm just like, I'm in the mood, I've got some time and I walk in and my dude's with someone and I can see somebody else is close to finishing up, I'm like, no, not him. Yeah, that's what I...

Aaron once went to your place to try it and he got a guy and he came out looking a bit fresh, a bit ooze. Do you know what I mean? Oh, no, I like the ooze look. Yeah, I know, but not on Aaron. Nah. He came in, he was like, I look a bit fresh.

Even though he is the only white man I've ever heard say the word ooze wholeheartedly and not ironically. Hey, do you remember that night to the bouncers? To the bouncer. G'day, oozes. All good, my ooze-o, is what he said to the bouncer at the club. By Aaron. Hey, do you remember that night to the bouncers? To the bouncers. G'day, oozes. All good, my ooze-o is what he said

to the bouncer at the club. By Aaron. Yeah, the night we went out with the Wiggles and we went to go into that bar and they were like, there was a cup of chai or something.

And I'm like, I'm not paying. And Aaron's like, we're going to take off but thanks, my ooze-o and gave him the... Oh, yeah. So he could do

with a fresh ooze cup. I was sad about this and I know you were sad when your doctor left. I literally cried. This is what I wanted to know. I'll 800-DARLES-IT-EM 9696

When were you sad that your person left? Your person. When did your guy leave? Maybe your hairdresser, your favourite hairdresser. Your brow girl. Your waxer.

And worse when they just go and they don't say I'm leaving. Yeah. Because you know a lot of places they don't want the people to follow them

if they move to another like competitor. I'm starting again. Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh God. Oh my God, my dentist left. lot of places, they don't want the people to follow them if they move to another competitor. I'm starting again. Yeah, totally. Oh, God. Oh, my God, my dentist left. Yeah. I'll start with one.

We've already said that. I'm pre-sending this because I had to go to work, but in case it's relevant. So they sent on the tease. Yeah, okay, good. They sent on the tease about somebody leaving. The dentist I had for 18 years left the practice. I followed him to the next one, but then he left that one and moved away. It was too hard to follow him.

My midwife got pregnant two weeks after me and her baby came early, so she wasn't able to be at my birth. So technically she abandoned me too. The lady who gave me the best pregnancy message of my life then also got pregnant and stopped doing her work. And then my GP for the last 27 years retired. Why do people keep...

Some abandonment issues here. Sounds like this person is the problem and their people are running away. Okay, call us 0800 DALES at M9696. The story was on Seven Sharp last night, Fletch.

It was about opera in the Strand Arcade. Promoting the Strand to bring more people in. I saw the story. I didn't know. Did you see me? It looked like Christchurch.

It looked like it was in Christchurch. That was in the, they were blocking the thoroughfare. I'm going to load up Seven Sharp last night. Did you see a sweaty,

disappointed Fletch? Yeah. I would have been in the, probably in the background booming so loud it's coming up on the lapel night. What is my massage? What? They don't even touch me. This is bullshit, man.

We want to know when your person just left because my massage guy is just... The whole shop's closed. He's gone. Tough times. I'm going to miss him. Yeah. You missed your doctor when she left? Very much. And it's taken a long time to find a new one.

Chrissy, who just up and left on you? Oh, it was my Pilates, my favorite Pilates instructor. I've done over 100 Pilates classes and I'm using the app to book. And I'm looking for my favorite instructor's name and it's not there. Oh, they're gone. Are you quiet as to where they've gone? Maybe they've shifted Pilates studios and you's not there. Oh, they're gone. Gone. Are you quiet as to where they've gone? Maybe they've shifted

Pilates studios and you could follow suit. I did. I said, has she gone to another studio? And no, she's gone. She's gone.

Dead? Dead gone or overseas gone? Gone to a real job, I think. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a very nice thing to say.

I was going to say, swimming for the fences of the Pilates instructor. Oh, right, okay. That's a very nice thing to say. I was going to say, swimming for the fences of the Pilates instructor. Oh, wow. I get that, though, because even with the cycle classes, you have your favourite instructors. Yeah, you do, you do.

Oh, no. Did you just give up on Pilates and sort of let yourself go and sort of just don't worry about it anymore? No, no. This was only yesterday I found out. Oh, it's fresh.

I've been looking through the weeks. Yeah, I Oh, it's fresh. I've been looking through the weeks. Yeah, I've been looking through the weeks. I also feel like if she's left the studio to start another studio or go to another studio, they're not going to tell me

she's gone to another studio. Yeah, because they're all competitive, aren't they? Very competitive. The Pilates are. Hunter on Instagram. Chrissy, thank you. Let's go to Georgie.

Georgie, when did your person just up and leave? Hey, guys. So my hairdresser that I've had since I was like six years old decided to move like an hour away. But I just decided that I couldn't live without him. And so I always made the trip. And then I ended up moving out of Auckland.

I moved to Tauranga, then to New Plymouth and now I'm based in Whangarei and I will only let him cut my hair and I'll always go back to Auckland if I need a haircut. Oh, my God. How good is this guy? What's his name? His name's Nigel.

Where does Nigel cut hair? Shout out, Nigel. Shout out, Nigel. He's at one of the vivos over on the North Shore now in like Wairau Park, I think. Oh, yeah. Okay. And so you will travel all the way to Auckland for a haircut?

Yeah, yeah. Wow. My family used to live there, so like I have an excuse to go back as well. Yes. To win-win. Is Nigel a curly hair specialist? Yeah, like do you have specific hair? I'm looking at him now.

Nigel Russell. Okay, there we go. And I guess, if he's done your hair since you were six, you don't need to really, I don't know, you just sit in the chair and he just does it, right? Yeah, he knows. He knows how to explain your hair and all that, yeah. Exactly, and he's got his own line of shampoos and curl creams.

Oh, Nigel Shampoo. He's at Vivo Hair Salon in Albany. Shout out, shout out. It's Albany Vaughan. Christ. Thank you, Georgie. Keep your texts coming in. 9696.

Jesus Christ. When did your person just leave? It's devastating. You can hear the sadness in everyone's voices. You can. Can you imagine my fear when my gynecologist left? I had to find someone else who was going to look at my fanny. My massage person's just disappeared.

Just gone. The shop's all closed. I've just watched the Seven Sharp story that you were accused of blocking the arcade. You didn't pop up in the background. Thank goodness, because I was looking very flustered because the shop was shut. And he was upset. And we want to know this morning, when your person has just up and left, your doctor left. Yeah.

Georgia, have you ever had someone just up and leave? Nah, no one. A service person? No, no one at all. Are you sure? Because that's not what you said before when you walked in. My skin person. No, that's not what you said.

Yes, it is. You said my face person. My face. Oh, that's why then. My face person. Guys, that is why the minging is showing, okay? Yeah, the minging beast screaming. Guys, be nice to Georgia.

But she's a dog and she needs to know. You know what I mean? I know, but we don't need a reminder every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once a week. But it's sad. But she's a dog and she needs to know. You know what I mean? I know, but we don't need a reminder every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once a week. But it is sad. Like, the person you go to all the time.

Well, my face? No. Yeah, the state of your skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got the happiest face I know. Yeah. I've said it before

and I'll say it again. Yes, honestly, guys, there's nothing, you've got to show your acne to this person and then you show your divorce flaws and then they're gone.

I know. It's like the person that said they'll need a new gynecologist. You've got to show another. It's like when the laser person changed. Oh, when the laser person changed.

I don't need another woman in her 20s to see my butthole. Not seeing it. Touching it. No, no. She would be like, you know, you hold a hand here and a hand here

and pull them apart. Oh, that shooting of bloody, shooting of bloody whirlets are back there at the ass here. I think they, I think they, they were going through

like one a week. Yeah, well I think and I feel like I was to blame for that. I feel like there was some PTSD. Yeah. They were like

I can't look at another one again. Wait, what are you hiding back there? Oh mate, have you not seen it? What's going on? It's like odd.

It's odd? It's like a wormhole to another dimension. All I can describe it is odd. Some messages in. It's like a wormhole to another dimension. That's all I can describe it as odd. It's a message, isn't it? It's like looking into the eye of Satan. I love my gynecologist.

He delivered me as a baby. Yeah. Then helped me with endo and treated me so I could have my own kids. So this is a... And then he died. From vagina to vagina. I was going to say all the time. Yeah.

Yeah. That's sad. That's sad. My wife's hairdresser moved from Auckland to Taurong, and now she goes to Taurong every couple of months to have her hair done. She's having a nightmare. Okay, people that do, there's a lot of people that do that. Yeah.

And that buzzes me out. Steve, you've got to stomp that shit out. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too.

All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.