ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 26th, 2025

Episode Date: May 25, 2025

Contact Lenses to see in the dark UK isn't selling Labubu anymore SLP - Are you going to the cinemas at the moment? Hayley's cooking requests Top 6 challenges with a 70 year old work mate Gen Z are turning back to sunbeds What we're watching Vaughan fell asleep at the dentist What did you wake up too? Hayley's great clothing try on of 2025 Quiz: Do we know celebs real names? Fact of the day What do you find hot in the opposite sex?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It makes like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then you just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head and then said to Wayne, you're gonna help me bury her. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeart Radio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod.

Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Brian. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Hayley. Hayley. Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Oh, who is it?

Best dressed at the New Zealand Comedy Festival. Hayley Sproul. Wow, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Listen, last night was the wrap of the Comedy Festival. It's all done. Yeah.

And there's the awards ceremony. But before the official where you do the Fred and the Billy T and the top award, they do these sort of unofficial industry awards and yeah, I won Best Dressed. So thank you so much. Wow. Fashion is my passion.

And I feel well rested and I've had a good night's sleep. Well, it certainly doesn't sound like it. Sorry. What? Sorry. I'm here. Great, huh? I'm here. Yeah, I know you'm here. Great huh? I'm here. Yeah I know you're here. International

ATM is back this morning at 8 o'clock. I love this game. So do I. We've been giving away so much cash to your chance to get your share of $20,000 cash so make sure you're listening at 8 o'clock just before the news for the activator to play. Also at 8 o'clock after the news we've got a concert announcement. And I believe a couple of tickets to give away to the show. So our lips are sealed until then. They are sealed.

Embargoed. It's gonna be a painful couple of hours with sealed lips on a radio show. Sealed by an embargo. The top six is on the way. And today Vaughan, what have you got for us? Well, there's an idea floated that the retirement age will be raised to 70, not here in Aotearoa, New Zealand,

no, overseas, they're gonna be trying it. But I mean, that's the thing, right? Retirement age is 65, but do you know any 67-year-olds who aren't working? Yeah. Not really. Not really. Nah. Nah. So. Keep on truckin'.

I got the problem with the, I could see the challenges arising with 70-year-old workmates. Please don't let that be asked guys. We've got to be on an island by then. Well you've got to be saving. Are you saving enough? No.

I saw my KiwiSaver and I'm like, that's nice. But then when you think about it as in a retirement fund, you're like, that's a year. How quickly could you burn through that? Oh my god, literally. On a cruise. On quickly could you burn through that year? Oh my god, literally, couple of weekends. On a princess cruise. Play ZM's Flash Born in Haley.

Researchers at the University of Science and Technology in China, China, China, have developed contact lenses that can detect infrared light and convert it to visible light, meaning yes, you will be able to see in the dark. Oh fun. Even you'll even be able to see infrared signals with your eyes closed which I don't like the

sound of. I don't like that. I like when I close my eyes I don't want to see. I'm closing my eyes for a reason I don't want to see. I don't want to see. Yeah. Imagine closing your eyes and continuing to see the horrors of life. You'd have to put your hands constantly in front of your eyes.

It'd be like when you go to someone's house and they don't have curtains in the bedrooms. So is this like Navy Seals night vision goggles? You want to be all green? No power source required. Because you know, the goggles they charge up. How are we charging these contacts? Do you have to go and look at the sun for a bit? No, I wouldn't recommend that. Do you know what I mean? Like put the contacts have to go and look at the sun for a bit? No, no, I wouldn't recommend that. Do you know what I mean?

Like put the contacts in and then go look at the sun and charge them up with solar. I'm about to say a word that I've heard heaps of times, not quite sure what it means, nanoparticles. Nanoparticles embedded in the lens. Oh my God, does he not understand nanoparticles? That's so embarrassing. I'm sorry guys.

You're working with a real dumb dumb over here. Yeah, wow, sick. I mean, we know, but explain it for the layman. Okay, so nanoparticles embedded in the lens, which is a soft biocompatible polymer. I don't know, again, sorry guys, you're working with a real sicko over here. Yeah, we are.

Which is basically what's already in soft contact lenses. But no power source required because the nanoparticles, do they use the eye juice? They must drink. Charged by eye juice? They must be charged by the eye juice. Okay. Charged by the wiggly's in your eyes. Yeah. So does this mean like you'll be able to walk around at night? And just see perfectly. And just see perfectly.

You'll be able to, and because they're transparent. No apparently the cat thing's a myth. Can they not see it? Google it. It's not. It's a myth. Cats can't see in the dark. They can see but not as well as you think they can. I thought they were like perfect vision. Yes cats have a remarkable ability to see in low light conditions even though they cannot see in complete darkness. Significantly better vision than humans but no they can't like see crystal clear as we imagine. So because these are see-through contact lenses as well, when there is light, you'll be able to see both. You'll be able to see infrared and there'll be like an overlay. But is it like when you...

Because you know the... I'm overstimulating. You know the night vision goggles, if there's a... you always see it in movies and TV shows. If someone turns on the lights or there's an explosion, they get blinded. Too bright. It's too bright for the night vision to work. So does that mean like that would happen if there was bright light, you were driving along?

If you were sat by a fire, you looked in, you were like putting a new log of wood into the fire. Do you know what's crazy? Over the weekend, I was in New Plymouth, by the way, Timonga. Oh yeah, beautiful. Kia ora. Yeah, kia ora.

You sent a photo from the north, my cousin sent me a photo from the south. I was getting, you know. Both angles. For 360 monga. Top and tail. So I was there with comedian Vaughan King and he had these glasses on, these like,

I'm sorry. Spectacles. You've got a Vaughan in your life. You don't really have one. He's my second Vaughan. He's not my first. You're my first. How was that? Thank you.

I'm not gonna get Vaughan King tattered on my thigh. Vaughan Smith tattered on my thigh. Vaughan Smith tattooed on my thigh. Anyway, Vaughan's got these like glasses and he was like, Hailey, put these on. I put them on and he was like, look up. And I looked up and then it was like text. Like there was a time and a date and a calendar. He's wearing magic glasses.

He had like magic glasses on. What brand were these? Were these the Google vision? No, they weren't Google vision. They weren't the Google Vision ones. I'm not sure maybe. I think the metal ones. They were nice shape.

The metal ones look like Ray-Bans. Or they are Ray-Bans. Yeah, they had like a nice shape, kind of round shape. And then they had his prescription in them. But when you looked up, they were writing. Like it was this green kind of writing. And then he was saying that if he's doing a set, like say a 30 minute set,

he puts his bullet points of his jokes in the thing. So if you lose your place, he was like, da da da da, do a joke, look up, there's your next joke and you... Wow. How amazing. But how does he go through the list of bullet points? Does he kind of like use his finger

or use his eyebrows to like scroll the list? No, it's stagnant. It is, you can't like move what's on there. How does he put it on there? Through his phone? Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. Oh my God, I't like move what I yeah, how does he put it on their throws phone? Yeah Amazing. Oh my god. I was like what so better than having like a written out list. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, you just you just like kind of look up and then I just saw the day and the time and what was in his calendar

And like a to-do list it was crazy. Oh my god was amazing Living in the future of it man. Yeah Play Zed M'slesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Now I don't want to age up, but I only recently learned what La Boo Boo was because I work in radio and the producer girlies had to tell us. The La Boo Boo, the dolls, the toys.

Freaky little toys that everyone's playing a lot of money for and then you guys lined up for them, right producers? Yeah, about an hour and a half. Yeah. Is it only the one place that sells them that what's it called that? Pop Mart. Is that in the Newmarket Mall? There's a Queen Street one. Yeah and Farmers has just become an official reseller but they are Pop Mart. I've seen Pop Mart vending machines too. Yeah it's a Chinese toy company listed on the Hong Kong stock exchange Wow, we should invest. Has the price gone up like bajillions? We're too late, I reckon

Yeah, it's always got like a massive dragon ball a life-size Dragon Ball Z character Mine one of mine is sitting on my shelf and the other one is sitting on is attached to my coach handbag One of mine is sitting on my shelf and the other one is sitting on, is attached to my coach handbag. Cause I keep coaching. She's got a coach handbag. Here I am with my basic deadly pony. We've got a coach girl here.

Shannon, where's your labooboo? I keep mine on my yarn cart. Sorry. Sorry, say that again. On my yarn cart. On a yarn cart. Do you hear yourself say, what is a yarn, literally like a drink straw, but for yarn. Yeah, what is a yarn car? Literally like a drinks tribe for yarn.

Yeah, it's a drinks tribe. Literally. It's like you and me. He's a crochet girly. Yeah, because I'm too scared to keep it on my bag that someone will rob me for it. Yeah, right. Like it's quite scary.

And also like with the rain in Auckland. Oh, you don't want a wet labubu. I don't want a labubu to get wet. It'll be wet dogs now. Very wet Lububu. So, shockingly so. So Lububu, it's like a huge global thing, you know, and you can spend your money how you want.

Each to their own. Each to their own. Apparently they're... Wait, how much is one Lububu? That's right, because we were shocked. 39. So what about on? A couple of cocktails. No, because here I've got

Plot Mart lububu exciting macaron toffee lububu. Yes. And that's $80 on Trade Me. Oh! That's resale. That's resale. Oh my God! Do they all come on keychains or are they?

Yep. The thing is at Plot Mart, you never know what you're getting, eh? Like whatever you're buying, it's all in boxes. It's in boxes. It's in boxes. But here's the thing, okay, now Aaron, years ago, when Lord of the Rings was huge,

bought all of the Lord of the Rings figurines. Thinking it was a great investment, and one day he's really gonna contribute to the deposit of our house. Yeah. Now when we bought our first house, and he got them valued, we've carried these things around for 14 years. I think it was like $800, you know, and I've got to say like great money to spend,

not going to really help the mortgage. I mean I'm not collecting, I mean to be fair I'm not collecting them, they're expensive to collect, but I'm not expecting my two labubu to like fund me for my future child or anything. Just put a fund for now. Well especially if it gets some sun damaged and wet on your coat handbag. We cannot have a wet Laboubu. I will say when I got mine, I told my partner, I was like you can actually resell them for a lot. If you get the secret one,

they can go for a couple hundred bucks. And he said, be honest with me Shannon. Be honest with me Shannon. Shannon, please. Shannon, Shannon. Step away from the yarn cart for a moment. Be honest with me. Come over from the yarn cart and talk to me. He said, be honest with me Shannon. Shannon, please. Shannon, Shannon. Step away from the yarn cart for a moment. Be honest with me. Come over from the yarn cart and talk to me.

He said, be honest with me. If you opened the secret one and you knew it was worth hundreds of dollars, would you have sold it? How would I? Brendan, I don't want to be honest with myself. The answer is no. Why are you spoiling this?

The reason I brought up Labooboo is because they're pulling them from the UK completely. Because people have been having brawls and there's footage of grown men throwing punches like literal like... No! Oh my god! Like the thing about this... Over Labooboo's

In a pop mark The thing about this that cracks me up is that that is either resellers, because I've seen the resellers who queue up at 5am, it's a lot of men, or that's like someone's partner and she's been like, I've got to work, you go out, you line up for the LabooBoo and then someone's partner is getting in a brawl. And they know if they don't get that LabooBoo they're going to go home and their partner is not going to be happy. They call the pop-mark shops in the UK a battlefield. I probably say that Ukraine and Russia at the moment have battlefields. Yeah say that to someone's face in Ukraine. Yeah yeah yeah.

I hear what you're saying Fletch. We'll do an airdrop of labouba. I don't think that's gonna, I reckon like food, resource, clothing, water. Imagine that you're starving in your bombed out house and you see a UN parcel drop and you open it and there's a Laboebo Oh my god, finally some aid from around the world What the hell are these? And it's been raining so it's a wet Laboebo We can't have a wet Laboebo

Play ZM Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley It was so good. Silly Little Pole, Silly Little Pole It is so silly, silly, silly That the Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole

Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole Silly Little Pole is, are you going to the movies at the moment? The cinema. The cinema. Not just watching movies, because everybody's watching movies. But where are you watching them? Harold had a article on the cinema crisis

and how independent theaters are keeping the art of movie going alive. And just like the rest of us, inflation, power bills, insurance, wage hikes. It's a luxury. Even the cost of all the things they sell, like the chocolate. It's all gone up.

It's all gone up. I'm sneaking in some nuggies in my own witticaz. So, Event Cinemas currently charges $29.50 for a standard adult ticket on its website with a $1.70 booking fee. That's so much. Remember when your parents used to chuck you a $10 note to go to Hoyts?

A large popcorn, $18. What? $18? No, no, that's not right. One large popcorn. It says here, a large popcorn and coke, sorry, we'll see you back at $18. My apologies, and a coke. And a coke.

Hoyts, another large cinema chain, charges $26 with a $1.20 booking fee attached. Neither company responded to the hero's request for comment about their rising costs and the increase in prices over the years. But you've gotta do what you gotta do. If that's what it costs, that's what it costs. And then isn't it when a movie comes out, the movie company itself, the film company,

gets like half the takings or a large percentage of- For the first few. For the first few weeks. And the longer it's in the cinemas, the more the cinema itself gets, right? Yeah. Well, so Little Pole, are you going to the in the cinemas, the more the cinema itself gets, right? Yeah. Well, so Little Pol, are you going to the movies we say asked you? Your options were yes, love it, no, it's too expensive, or no, I'd rather watch movies

at home. The most popular was no, I'd rather watch movies at home, 39%. Yeah, like Mission Impossible's just come out. That's a movie I want to see on the big screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love seeing a big action on the big screen. The stunts and stuff. Yeah, and the bigger the screen, the better, right?

I think the last movie, because we're pretty fortunate we get to go to movies for work quite I love seeing a big action on the big screen. The stunts and stuff. Yeah, and the bigger the screen, the better, right? Yep. I think the last movie I had, because we're pretty fortunate we get to go to movies for work quite a bit. Yeah, I haven't paid for a while. I watch a lot of it on the Plex. I think the last one I paid for was Oppenheimer. But that, again, is a movie worth paying for on the big screen. You only need to watch half of it.

No, that's... You do. No. Until the bomb goes off. Until the bomb goes off and then I turned it off. All the boring court stuff to turn on. Well, it wasn't boring court. It was a great movie.

Nah, too long. Growing up, we only ever watched The Sound of Music until the Nazis became a problem. Yeah, we don't need the rest of that. Babs Dab. No, no, no. She's running through the hills. She's a great nanny. It's awesome.

The second most popular response at 36% was, no, it's too expensive. And 26% of people said yes love it. Okay, it's a special occasion thing aye. Yeah it is, date night. Whether it's a date night or just a big movie you want to see. Yeah yeah yeah, the one that demands it. Lucille 2. Bluth?

Not Bluth. Oh! Lucille 2. Struggles through a vertigo. Man that's a niche reference. Every time I get vertigo, which is actually like sort of surprisingly often, I always think about it. No seal too, Arrested Development. Amazing. Just walk into walls.

My local cinema has a deal where you pay £60 for six months, this is in the UK, and get unlimited films. If you watch one a month, you get your money's worth. I see films I'm not even interested in because they're basically free, hashtag girl math. But then also how many people would buy that and only go to two or three movies?

That's how they make their money. It's like the gym, right? Yeah. Oh yeah, I donated to gyms for years before I actually turned up. Short throw projector was the best at home investment, says Pratik. Oh yeah.

Is that one of those ones that sits against the wall and just shoots it eyes up? Yeah, rather than one that has to be at the other end of the room. So much on the plex. Um, yes said Andrina, but only because Lilo and Stitch came out. Otherwise I'd only go two or three times a year. I do want to go see that Lilo and Stitch movie.

Yeah. I really wanted to see the new Wes Anderson movie, but everyone's got terrible reviews. I reckon his last few have been a dud, aye. Oh god, I recorded it's a dud. But they look amazing. It's the French, the French. Dispatch. Dispatch.

I was bored, man. Yeah. And I adore Wes Anderson. Visually, they look incredible. Oh, incredible, I know, but I was like, Tenenbaums, man. Yeah, I know what I'm gonna say. When you do Tenenbaums,

Mr. Fox, you know? It's just a constant comparison. I know. Sigourney Weaver said, home cheap wine, snacks and no pants. So we can eat more. Isn't frowned upon. It's encouraged. It's a win-win-win for an at-home movie night.

I'd take my pants off at the cinema. I'd take my shoes off. If it's one of those yardie chairs. We did that as a little polder, didn't we? Yeah. Fewer new good movies worth seeing now, rewatching discs at home nowadays. I said, right, jeez, that's the most old mate thing

I've ever heard. Discs! Who has DVDs? It's all online. I was in one of the, oh, a Red Cross shop in New Plymouth on the weekend. And all the DVDs, and they were still charging like $5 for a DVD.

I was like, what are you doing, man? All those are good for us hanging in the tree to scare the birds away from the plumps. Yeah! Yeah, but you just wait till the apocalypse. You'll be done. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

Um, only cause we moved to Townsville and it's a lot cheaper to go to the movies here than in Auckland. Oh, okay. Who knew? Australia over there with their cheap movies. Alicia said, mine and my husband's love language is going to the movies together,

but unfortunately with a toddler and a baby, it's not possible at the moment. Only 18 years to go until we can afford to go again. Nah, because people are living with the appearance until they're like 30 now so yeah light at the end of the tunnel and Mason okay another role mate the quality of cinemas dropped off over the last few years. Has it? I think it's gotten a lot better. I just think we've spoiled for choice now yeah you can be like I didn't like that and then just immediately go and find another one

that you did. Yeah. Ali says, so many good movies out, especially horrors at the moment. Oh, okay. Horrors having a real renaissance. No, I don't like watching horrors in a cinema. Too scary.

Yeah. Too scary. Because I'm wearing those new Chinese infrared lenses and I shut my eyes, I can still see what's happening. Still see it, yeah. I love cinemas, big screen, no distractions, snacks. The only downside is the price, half price Tuesdays always helps, says Logan. Yeah, yeah, if you can get a deal.

Is Sinner's still in the movies? Cause I'd quite like to see Hader Steinfeld spitting Michael B. Jordan's mouth on the big screen. I wouldn't mind seeing that either. Sorry. It just is a piece of artistic. Small screen, just that one part of the movie.

Just as if someone's pirated it. Do you reckon it's on the Plex? It'll be on the Plex. That's a little... Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Guys, my week is here. I have friends that are pregnant at the moment. No, she's pregnant. He honestly did least squat. Did nothing. And that was it. And they just left her to it. Like a minute at the moment, no she's pregnant, he honestly did less squat. Did nothing.

Yeah, and that was it. And then just left it to it. Like a minute at the start and that was it. A minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I'm proud of him, you know, great. I'm very excited for him to become a dad, but you know, she's really doing the heavy lifting.

But I mentioned this a while back that one of their mates has got this roster of food happening. It's my week, it's my week is here. I've got to do three meals for my friends that are at Prago. And... It'd actually be nice to actually take them to Prago. Oh yeah, get some squid, some calamari. I could do some calamari and some beautiful deep fried oysters.

I forgot. Yeah, I forgot and it's gotta happen today because the drop off is the Monday. And so I've got gotta cook three meals today and I haven't thought about it this morning. Oh, this is, could they not have just, I don't know, frozen some meals themselves? Wow, one of the, okay.

Flesh! Sort of doomsday prepper, baby pre. Yeah, just, yeah. Wow. Then reheated in the microwave, I don't know. No, this is the generosity side of things that we're doing. Oh, this is friendship. It's friendship and I would do the same when you're pregnant.

Thank you. I will drop you meals, but I will do shifts. Oh, okay. So I forgot- Can I just pretend to be pregnant to get this thing as if it's never gonna happen, just to get some meals out of you?

Yeah, I'll cook you some meals if you just pretend you're happy for a bit. Okay, great. You sort of rub your belly and be like, oh no. Okay. But I straight up forgot, and then now I've got to go to the supermarket, and I was just like, I've panicked. What, you don't know what to cook? No, because it's like, I think we're doing it for like,

honestly, like six weeks, six weeks or something, and I was like, we can't all be turning up with a shepherd's pie and a lasagna. Do you know what I mean? Like, after a while, now I did message them and say like, what do you feel like? You know, I'll cater to you. Yeah, and their response was Carl's Jr. I was like, okay. Okay. So maybe today I could drop I could do fresh hot Carl's Jr

Yeah, you need a potato bag get a potato bacon there those go down a tree Not enough protein. Nah, not enough protein. I was like, do I, I could roast a chuck. I would like a lamb. They don't like lamb. Oh my God, they don't like lamb. What is this? Just drop off a bachelor's handbag and a salad bag.

Dude, I'm gonna say a couple of bachelor's handbag and a salad bag and some potato salad from the deli. This is their first child they're welcoming into the world when I turn up with a dry, dusty chuck. They're not gonna par-baked garlic rolls. Oh no. Some tagel tagel. Some Mama Fair rallies.

Yeah, I know that's insulting to them. Someone just messaged, can they not cook themselves? They're becoming new parents. The whole thing is an act of taking off a load. Like just what do you, you've got to cook dinner going forward, man, as we'll get used to it. Start now.

Before you know the chaos of, oh my God, you know the chaos of bringing home a child for the first time and being like, what's that? Yep. You're not getting into the kitchen and cooking a nutritious meal and looking after yourself. You're focused on the kid. What did you do for the first week of meals?

Takeaways? Mums aren't what they used to be. I'm sorry. Mums aren't what they used to be is a wild statement. Sorry, oh, that is a wild thing to say. Like, just, yeah, you've got to start sometime. Oh my gosh, do not! Do not feed into this narrative!

Yeah, what did you want to eat for? Don't get me wrong, if my friends wanted to drop off meals for the first like four or five weeks, I'd be absolutely stoked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, um, I don't know, I can't remember. Like those sorts of things, like cooked and then frozen. Yeah, yeah, just a big tray of something. Yeah, there was this beef stew that Sade's mum made that I just was basically like, yum. This is why I was thinking stews and bakes and stuff.

Cause if you're coming in with, you know, a broth and a add a thing and a protein and then add the, you know, mung beans and you gotta cook, you know, chop up your own cilantro or whatever. I'm like, oh no, that's too much. Maybe I will just do a bake. How good was a pasta bake back in the day?

Well, they did say they want Carl's Jr. just do that every night this week. I mean, I wouldn't say no. Pasta, salad, pesto, spinach, sundried tomatoes, bacon, pine nuts, and feta. Some of them message her. It's not a potluck. It's not a potluck.

Like, that's a ride to bring a few and charge us salads at a potluck. That's not a whole meal. That's yum. That's not a whole meal. There That's the right to bring a few and charge us salads at a potluck. That's not a whole meal. That's not a whole meal. There's no protein. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Too much pasta, not enough protein. What about some McCain's?

Do you know what I mean? McCain's, you've done it again. Just a bag of frozen fries. Or a frozen pizza. They got an air fryer? Yeah, they do. Yeah, chips go hard in an air fryer. Should I just get them a bag of frozen fries?

Tater tots, get them tater tots. And aioli. Tater tots? That's a dinner. A Heinz aioli. Yep. And a bag of salad. Sort of. Done. Please. Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the Unmoderated comments section, this is the top 6. Well, those Danes in Denmark,

set to have the highest retirement age in Europe after its parliament adopted a law raising it to 70 years old by 2040. I wonder if this will affect their happiness levels. Oh yeah. They're always like so happy. Yeah. Yeah. So happy.

So does that mean that they don't get any benefits until five years later than expected? Could you be gutted, eh, if you were, you know, 63? But it's quite far away. When does it change, eh? They're gonna gradually do it, so it'll be revised every five years. It's currently 67, 65 here in New Zealand. That's right, yeah.

But it'll rise to 68 in 2030, 69, nice. Nice. And 2035, and then by 2040, 70. Oh, okay, so you've got plenty of time to plan. Imagine if it was like next year, you thought you were having the pension. Oh, you'd be gutted. You're like, nah, five more years.

Yeah. Yeah. Push on through. Top six challenges with working with a seven-year-old is today's top six. Number six on the list, they'll ask you how to convert their banana into a PDF. What?

Well, they need a PDF and they don't have one but they've got a banana spare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're just gonna ask you to convert the banana into a PDF. Is this gonna be, is this just gonna be everything you have to help your parents with? No, not everything.

Okay. Not everything. A bit of it. But not everything. Number five on the list are the top six challenges working with a seven year old. They'll never be at their desk because they're always gonna to be up at HR

for some loose casual racism, sexism, phobia stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I said it, but don't you agree? They don't know how to drive. You can't say anything these days. By 2040 though, 2050, that'll be us. We know better than loose casual racism, do we? We do, but I can't spit for our entire generation.

Yeah, okay, fair call. The moment you said 70, I was like, I'm halfway there. Yeah, living on a prayer. That shook me. Whoa, living on a prayer. Well, I'm halfway to 86, so see you in hell. Yuck. See you in hell.

What a party. Number four on the list of the top six challenges that they're working with a 70 year old. Me and the 70 year old are gonna get into day long conversations about the Falkland Islands war. Fascinating conflict. And I feel like they'll be able to tell me what it was like living through the coverage

of the Falkland Islands war. Guys, the Falklands. What a lands. The Falks. The Falks. Number three on the list of the top six challenges with working with a 70 year old are they'll have the best looking sandwiches for lunch

and I'll be driven mad with jealousy because they have a nice little packed lunch every day. Yeah, they'll do a great packed lunch. They'll do a good pastrami. They won't be popping out every lunch to get sushi because that costs money. No, no, and they don't understand the Japanese. No.

No. You know, their father had some horrendous things to say about the Japanese. Yeah. Because he fought them in the theater of war that was the Pacific, not the Falklands. Yes, not the Falklands. Yes, not the Falklands. Although they are willing to discuss both.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six challenges with working with a seven year old are they'll snore when they're sneaking a work nap and ruin the fact that we're all getting secret work naps but we're not all snoring. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm talking about when you get old you just start snoring. Snoring. Everything becomes noisier. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Every key area. Oh my nana, eh?

Far apart. She was a snorer. And also thin, thin between the floor and the ceiling and we'd be under her being like, that's Nana, man. She's rocking it. Brrrr. Wow.

After that, she had a bloody heavy duty to she but plugged into the wall. Yeah, she might have. And good for her, honestly. One of those hand massages. Yeah, and that personal massage. You know, I get mikes and pines. Yeah.

I need this huge furry toy in the shop. Dildo-shaped thing to relieve that. Yeah, and that personal massager. You know, I get mikes and pines. I need this huge furry toy in the shop. Dildo-shaped thing to relieve that. And number one on the list are the top six challenges working with a 70-year-old at the toilets. Have you ever followed a senior into the bathroom? I don't know what happens. They splatter, eh?

I don't know what happens after a certain age, but that's just a bit more, it's just the pungency. Yeah. It hangs in the air. And no structure. Well, I think it's because you're slowly dying on the inside. Yeah, and it's just the pungency. Yeah. It hangs in the air. And no structure. Well I think it's cause you're slowly dying on the inside. Yeah, that's what it is. Is it a rotting issue?

It very well could be, that is today's tip set. Play ZM's Fletchporn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchporn and Hayley. Guys, this is naughty. Apparently, Gen Z are turning back. It's them. It's them, Point of fingers. Shannon, Carwen.

No, I can't be there. Actually, no, we've got two fair skinned, lovely English Rose maidens on our hands here. And I say that lovingly. You guys both have beautiful skin. Thank you. But apparently, Gen Z are going back to the sunbed. I've been seeing this all over TikTok. Girlies are doing it so much and they've brought back,

you know, the Playboy bunny sticker. Yeah. Oh, I know. They put it on and it tans off. Yeah. What? That's back. Guys. No.

Now, let's all be honest with ourselves. Let's all, rather than pointing fingers, let's hold up mirrors. Let's hold up our phones and turn the camera onto selfie. Yeah, Hayley. And ask ourselves in the studio, who's been up mirrors. Let's hold up our phones and turn the camera onto selfie. Yeah, Hayley. And ask ourselves in studio, who's been talking about going on sunbeds?

To maintain summer tan. I have not at all. This is absolute slander. I would not. You know, I'm a spray tan girl and I will go that way. I've actually never had a sunbed in my life. But I remember- You're on it, which is me.

I'm addressing myself because we've got two guilty parties in here. You're telling me neither of you have mentioned at least twice today alone about getting a tan on a sunbed. Listen, I'm just aware... It's very bad for you. I'm just aware... I will ask you to answer the question. I'm just aware that I'm off to Europe soon.

Right. And that's a privilege. But even Europe's so brown. And honestly, my tan melted off at a rapid pace. That's okay. I was so brown this summer. It's seasonal vegetable situation. When you're in summer, you tan and you eat strawberries

and when you don't eat strawberries. You eat pumpkins. Yeah. Is this British GNZ? Because I, what do you know? It's massive in America. Cause was it Australia brought in all those laws? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We used to buy like concession cards as gifts for our friends. I remember we used to always be like, Oh my God, Maria's, it's Maria's 16th birthday. Let's buy her a 10 concession card to a sunbed. We're killing it. With free melanoma on the 10th visit. Literally murdering our friend.

Would you? Would you? Now you guys, but you're not huge tanners Shannon and Carwin anyway. Not like Fletcher and I. Yeah, Shannon does. But we bake. They go red. We bake. Remember Shannon was like not going out unless it was a nine?

Unless she was UV monitoring like that? I know. Silly bullies. But then you told me off and then now I'm back on a fake tanning routine. Yeah, you don't get super carried away. No. My thing is I'm always, I write it off, I'm always like, I'm Māori, it's fine, it's fine. We don't get melanoma. My mum, who's more Māori than me, literally had a skin cancer.

From? Oh no, not from sunbeds. I'm sure she would have been guilty of sunbeds back in the 80s, but she did the oil. Well she had to be looking great with the Les Mille's pump clouds and the hurricanes. With the hurricanes. You can't be squatting, you can't be dead lifting with the hurricanes with a paste line. Pasty Patsy they'll call it. But she did the oil, you know the oil.

Oh my god. I used to do that when I was younger. So bad. That's so bad. Has the technology for sunbeds got better? Did the oil, you know the oil. Oh my god. I used to do that when I was younger. That's so bad. Has the technology for sunbeds got better? Like is it safer now or still just as dry? Is it worse than baking in the sun? Cause I'll admit, I did a lot of sunbathing this summer.

I feel like it is for some reason, like maybe more concentrated UV or. You don't have to wear goggles. Searching the ev Vaughn. While some believe tanning in a bed is safer, tanning beds emit 12 times more UVA radiation than the sun. UVA rays are primarily linked to premature aging of the skin, causing wrinkles, fine lines and age spots. Using tanning beds before the age of 35 also increases your risk of developing malignant melanoma by 75%. You'll be fine, Hayley.

You've just got Botox afterwards, do you remember? Did you hear that? I'm probably by 75%. You'll be fine, Hayley. You've just got botox afterwards, do you know what I mean? Ha ha ha ha ha! Did you hear that? Yeah, I did. I'm actually 35. Yeah, this is before the age of 35. So she's got you here in a technicality. Oh, she's got you there. You'll be fine.

I actually feel personally attacked through this whole break. I feel personally attacked from all angles. Dude, not sun bed. I won't. Someone said as a melanoma survivor, I'll happily send you through some horrific photos since you stick with fake tan and not be sun bedded. Yes, I totally agree. I'll fake tan. I'm going to get the Bondi Sans on it. Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley.

How good is my heart radio app? Patsy and Craig, my parents, in Lisbon, Portugal at the moment, listening live. She said I've got to get me an agent, stop using me for content. That's nice. Lisbon, Portugal at the moment listening live. She said, I gotta get me an agent, stop using me for content. That's nice. Lisbon. Lisbon, yeah, they're going for a walk, big long walk. Yeah, it looks beautiful. Never been. Now, guys, over the weekend,

I finally had some telly time. I haven't. Time for telly time time. You're so far behind. You haven't even watched the Last of Us. I know, I haven't either. Finals today. I haven't landed in the head space for it.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like I just really want to watch it well. And I, so Saturday night, guys, I had a night in. Wow. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On a Saturday.

So yeah, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I ended up going to bed at 3 a.m. Cause I wasn't sure how to navigate a night at home. Where? 3 a.m. Yeah, I just like couldn't. What did you do till 3 a.m. because I wasn't sure how to navigate a night at home. Where? 3 a.m.? What did you do till 3 a.m.? Just watch TV. Yeah, couldn't figure it out.

It was hard. Because I'm always out and I stayed in. But I watched some great TV, including Sirens on Netflix, which is a limited series. It was five episodes. And it's got Millie Alcock, who's the- Oh, she's gonna be in Supergirl.

Australian actress who was on Game of Thrones. The House of Dragons one. House of Dragons. Yeah, she's gonna be Supergirl. She's gonna be a superstar. She's incredible. Oh wow. It's got Julianne Moore and her as the two leads. Kind of this like, it's almost surreal. It's got Kevin Bacon in it, he's amazing in it.

And Megan Fahey, who was on White Lotus last season. Oh wait, no, I got the wrong Megan. She was in the Air Drop movie. She was in the Air Drop movie. Air Drop movie. We spoke to her, yeah. Oh my God, it's so watchable, and it's just a really kind of like,

I thought it was a comedy for a while and then it twists. It's just like, oh my god, you've got to watch it. Seven out of 10 on IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes gives it 73. Nah, that's too low. It's so flawless. Google uses 47% of people like this show. Yeah, well they're wrong. It's normally the other way around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you've got to watch it. It's so, so good. What did this show do to, well they're wrong. It's normally the other way around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you've got to watch it. It's so, so good. What did this show do to upset these people so much? Has it been reviewed by them or something? Oh, that'll be the problem. It's a female focus. Oh, right, okay. And the world hates women famously.

Honestly, they're amazing. Julianne Moore is just incredible in it. She plays this kind of like almost culty leader. She's just incredible. She's a fantastic actress. Right. What are you watching at the moment? I got put onto that show that you watched,

that Argentinian show, Eternote. Yeah, it's so good. I'm liking it, I'm liking it. It's a bit different. It's a bit apocalyptic. Sitch. Reading subtitles or dubs? Okay, good.

Reading subtitles. Which makes me concentrate more on the show. It's so beautifully shot. But it's brilliant. Yeah, I've got too many shows on the go. Yeah. Cause I made the mistake of diving into a couple of weeklies. I'm about to, I think I'm gonna embark on a soprano's journey again.

I'm ready to go back to season one, episode one. Do you know what I watched a little last night? Cause I had like half an hour before bed. What was it? 3.30 PM? No, so I was on Prime, Amazon, I don't know what they call it now. Prime video.

Prime video, Amazon Prime, Prime, I don't know, they change the name every month. And they have dumped every season of Skins. Have they? Oh my god, Skins. And I watched the first like half an hour of the very first, do you know it was 2007? Yeah, because I was an emo kid in 2007. And that show just like blew my life apart. It was nuts.

Even just the first episode, I was like, oh my God, they all look so young. I know, but they're all so successful now. Yeah, I know. They were just amazing teenage actors. Who was it in, who was in the first season? Nicholas Holt. Yeah, okay.

And his sister was playing Effie. Effie? Effie, like we all wanted to be Effie. And now, like she was in The Gentleman, like that's coming back for a season two. Oh my God, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So many had like- Cassie, Cassie ended up being in Game of Thrones

for years. Dev Patel. Dev Patel. Kaya Skelderode. Dev Patel, I love, I love. Scodelario. I love me some Dev Patel. And then even like the following seasons, yeah,

but also a lot of them just ended up doing like completely nothing. Oh yeah, the twins. They just went and lived a normal life. Oh my God, great offer. Yeah, it's all just there every season. It's like a bit of a time machine. I can hear the chain.

The opening scene. Jacob Connell, he was in the second season, right? Yeah. Yeah, he was. Oh my God, amazing. God, there's so much, there's such good TV to watch. Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley. Now you guys know, there was a good 13 year period in my life where I didn't go to the dentist.

Yes. And then I punched myself in the face. Yeah. And ACC were like, we've got you. And I'm like, thanks ACC, you're a pretty good system. Yeah. And they, then my dentist said, now we're gonna need to redo it

because that tooth that I punched and it broke had had a root canal previously. Yep. And she said, we're gonna need to put a new top on it. You want white or gold? And I went, what was that last word? And she said, gold. And I said, yes.

Yes, my O's. Yes, my O's. Chuck a gold in there. Gold me up. Which by the way is doing great because I went back to the dentist on Friday for what has become an annual checkup. You're beautiful. Welcome. What a grown up. Yeah I missed my dental appointment recently now I've got to I've got to rebook it. I always do the checkup and the hygienist. I do the two hygienists. Bang bang bang.

With the airflow do you get the sandblasting? You've gotta get sandblasted. Oh my god, you've gotta do that. It's delicious. It just takes the scraping away. So, went to the dentist, did the old x-ray, had a quick poke around, and she said, you're really taking care of your teeth.

You've switched to a soft bristle. Yeah, you must. And you're brassing and flossing, aren't you? Because I recede, I've got receders. You've got a receders. Yeah, I'm too aggressive. I said, I am being a good boy with my teeth. And she said, well, I don't even need to see you.

I was in and out of there in about seven minutes. That's good. I took my boots off. Cause I was getting up on her chair. Why did you take your shoes off? I was getting up on her chair. Yeah. And I was like, they're too big of boots.

Yeah, because you're wearing those bloody stupid mining boots to wear. Construction boots. Mining boots, he does. He's never been in a hole in his life. I know, literally. I've been in a couple of holes. No you haven't, never once.

And so she's like, get out of here you scallywag, you nice toothed scallywag, and get downstairs for your hygienist. Hygienist. I'm sorry, is your dentist multi-level? Yeah, upstairs to the dentist, downstairs to the... Wow. Wow, must be nice. Nice single floor. Yeah, to the... Wow. Wow. Must be nice.

Single floor. Yeah. Are you on a single floor? Must be nice. So I got a new hygienist this time. Okay. Because I had Andy last time. Okay. And so I met my new hygienist who's so, so tiny compared to me. She's so tiny. I was like, you could almost climb in. Into this giant mouth. You didn't say that did you? No. Okay good. She did need to put the chair as low as it went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she was like into this giant mouth. You didn't say that did you? No. Okay good. No. But she did need to put the chair as low as it went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she was like over me and having to move around. I felt like I was a Gulliver's,

you know Gulliver's Travels where it gets captured by the little people. Yes. I'm this giant man. Yeah. So I'm lying in the chair, mouth open. Yeah. And she's like, you've been taking good care of your teeth.

I said, I'm hearing this a bit today. And she's like, well, I've actually got on the notes here, you've got some sensitive areas. So I'll do these first, get them out of the way, and then the rest is gonna be pretty chill. Do you get the paste, the sensitive paste? At the end, is it orange? Yeah, I've got a sensitive tooth at the back

and I get a paste on it and it takes away. Well, I don't know, Hayley, because after she'd done the sensitive part, I fell asleep. That is insane. Oh my God, never! I fell asleep in the hygienist chair and when she was finished she was like, hi, hey, hey, we're all done. Oh shame. We're all done. Oh I would have just put that sharp bit in your gum to wake you up. Yes, I doof right there. I

remember the sensitive bit because it was a bit sensitive she did that with by hand. And so you fell asleep during a traditional scraping hygienist. Yeah. Oh, we're not even a sandblast. Not even a sandblast. But your mouth open on your back. I reckon you would have been roaring. Nah, I'm not a snore.

Your fingers were in there. They've been used to the sound of that sucky machine, though. Yeah, true. Mask the snoring. Because she hung that on the corner of my mouth. And I was like kink unlocked. But she hung that on the corner of my mouth. And I was like kink unlocked. But she hung that on the corner of my mouth. And I'd every now and then stick it in and suck out the spit.

But I just don't remember, I remember waking up, I had the taste of that really nice orange gritty toothpaste they use. I was like yum. I've got to get me some of that. You can buy it. Toothmose. Isn't that what they have? You know that toothmose? No, but it's actual toothpaste. Oh.

Isn't it? I don't know. I think it's toothm though. It's gritty. It's so yum. And she was like, give that a rinse. And I said, I think I nodded off. And she said, you certainly did. You certainly did.

Shame. Yeah. That's so embarrassing. I feel like, I feel embarrassed when I fall asleep in places. Like when I like even getting a massage. But then you're like, only because you wake up and you're like,

I bet they just stop touching me once they notice I was asleep. Yeah, oh my God, yeah. Why would I waste my thumb strength? They're playing Candy Crush in the corner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just like. No, I bet they just stop touching me once they notice I was asleep. Yeah, oh my God, yeah, why would I waste my thumb strength? They're playing Candy Crush in the corner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just like, grrr. No, I just leave a hand on you

just like going up and down your back. Your real life, hey, just like tickles. Just so that, just so if you did wake up, you'd be like, oh, he's doing the thing at the end. Do you know they should offer that as an option? You know, hot stone, oil. Sleep massage. Tickles.

Oh my God, how not, like back scratches and tickles. And like arm tickles. Yes. Oh my god. And they should offer that as an option. Do boys do this? Cause this is a real like woman thing. I love tickles.

As like girls growing up, me and my best friend would be like, right, 10 minutes and I'd tickle her in the arm. No, I never had tickle parties with my dudes. Time's up, mine. No, it's not a dude thing. You guys don't tickle each other? I feel like this weekend, I'm going away her on the arm. No, I never had tickle parties with my dudes. Time's up, mine. No, it's not a dude thing. You guys don't tickle each other? I feel like this weekend, I'm going away with the lads. Their partner's gonna be there,

but they can shush shush, go away. Well, go away. The boys could just have a tickle circle. Yeah, and you'll go back to back. Yeah! One in the front gets a bit. No, we'll go in a circle. Sounds like there'll be a biscuit in the middle.

Yeah, it feels a bit biscuity. Oh, grow up. So I'll say it. Grow up. It sounds to me to be a bit homosexual. Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. There was a man his name is Johan Halberg from Norway. Wow. Beard, beard. I imagine. And with a little beanie. One of those fisherman's beanie. Well he lives right next to the ocean. Okay. A fjord, I imagine it's a fjord. It is a fjord.

Fjord. Ja. Ja is a beautiful word to turn on fjord. That's right. So Johan, he is asleep, right? In his house. He wakes up and looks out the window of his beautiful house, looking out on the fjord. It is beautiful. To find a ginormous shipping container ship in his backyard. What, like run aground? He had run aground. So there was a 135 metre ship, very big ship, missed his house by metres at 5am. How did he not hear that run aground? He said he heard nothing. What? White noise. And then some of the people were coming off the ship,

because they ended up getting off it, knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, being like, dude, we've just crashed into your backyard. Heard nothing until he poked his head out and was like, what's that? It was ginormous. Look at this thing. It's just huge. Wow. And of all the... And it went off course. Yeah. That's cool. Oh, it's not spilling anything. Does it look spilly? It looks a bit spilly, eh? It looks a bit spilly.

I'm not sure. I think maybe it's just cause it's stuck there now. But imagine just waking up and looking out into your backyard to have a look at your beautiful fjord. Well this happened to you at the weekend. Well listen, I didn't quite wake up. You should know what this is like. Sorry to just drop you in it. Listen, this is what I wanted to ask this morning

of our beautiful listeners. What did you wake up to? It's not that I have no memory of it, but I don't remember abandoning it. I woke up on Friday, on Saturday morning, after a beverage or two in New Plymouth, and there was just half a fillet of fish next to, like in the bed next to me, and I was like.

In the hotel bed? Yeah, wow, wow. At least it's a hotel bed. Well, I mean, there was no table, so I just jumped into bed and ate there. Was it consumed? It was half. No, it was half. No, no, no, but then, then of course you were woken. Oh, afterwards. No, no, no, no, not a Filet-O-Fish.

I wouldn't have, cheeseburger I might have considered it. Yes. I'd give a quarter, half a quarter pounder 20 seconds in the microwave and then eat it. Yeah, no microwave in the room. But you wouldn't do that with a filet-o-fish. And I had added shredded lettuce as I am known to do. That's my custom order of my filet-o-fish. Oh, don't judge me. That would have gone a little bit brown then

by the room temp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also I think maybe I rolled on it during the night. Oh, hon. The tartar. The tartar sauce has been smeared into the. Yeah, the tartar had smeared and it was squashed slightly. Wow. So you're gonna get a reputation like Fletcher's

when it comes to hotel linens, if you keep this up. Yeah, no, God, he burns through them. Anyway, this is what I wanna know. And those towels, man. God, why so many flannels? How many people are in that room? So many flannels. This is absolutely unbounded obligation.

There was one charge for a flannel because I cleaned my shoes with it. Cleaned his shoes, is that what we're doing now? Yeah, that's what we're doing. That's what the kids are doing now. I never heard that code before, cleaning my shoes. is that what you're gonna do? Yeah, that's what we're doing. Gosh. That's what the kids are doing. I've never heard that code before, cleaning my shoes. Well, this is what we want to know from you this morning.

I'll 800 Diles at M, you can text her in 9696. What did you wake up to? Maybe it was in your house, maybe it was something like- In the backyard, maybe someone had crashed your fence. Yeah, or a bird flew in or something, like you just wake up and you're like, what is that? Maybe there was a mysterious object on the back lawn. Yeah. Or yeah, maybe you just wake up and you're like, what is that? Maybe there was a mysterious object on the back lawn. Yeah.

Or yeah, maybe you just- A mysterious object on the back lawn, like a UFO. Or maybe you just did have a big night and then something ended up back at your house. Something or someone. You wake up to half the local rugby team in your lounge, you're like, okay, you guys want some eggs? 0800 DALSATM is a number, text me 9696.

What did you wake up to? Right now we're asking you, what did you wake up to? Because there was a guy in Norway who woke up to a shipping container ship in his backyard. Run off course. So his house is like on the shore of some big, yeah. That house isn't gonna be around in 10 years. That's how close it is to the water.

Yeah. But in this shipping container, a ship went off course and crashed into his backyard. Amazing photos. Yeah, and I woke up next to a filet of fish. We both woke up next to things that we didn't... Unexpected, unexpected things. The stories we're getting in, it's tackling me.

Some wild stories. Jodie, what did you wake up to? So I woke up to a policeman and his dog right next to my bed because they were looking for someone in the wrong house. Oh, my God, that would be such a fright. Got the old wrong house situation. Yeah, it was one of those, I don't know if you're in Hamilton, but on Peach Grove Road, there was all those old flats

and they all look exactly the same. And we lived, we were living in there, eight of us in a three bedroom flat. Oh, God. Yeah, and I woke up, and yeah, I was in the wrong house and I had this dog in my face. I woke up and I was like...

Was it cute when you were like, Pat, Pat, Pat? No. He's working. No, I was, no, not cute. It freaked me out. Oh, you'd see yourself. Oh my God.

If you woke up to a German shepherd and a cop beside your bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we learned that sometimes those that have the titanium teeth. Yeah, they do. They do.

Ah, okay. So, but it was sorted out. It was a neighbour, Jodie. Yeah. Did they, I didn't even apologise. He was just looked at us and he was just like, oh yeah. And then walked out and we're like, oh no. Do you sleep naked?

No, no. No. Imagine if a cop came in and you had your BAPs out, you know what I mean? You're like, oh God. Well actually, I don't know. Would I actually be mad? Yeah, you like the polo, man.

I'm not sure. You like those tight sleeves. Jodie, thank you. Greg, what did you wake up to? So sitting in the scene, it'd been a Saturday of cleaning up the house and kind of getting a bit of inorganic out on the roadside ready for collection. We went to bed a little body weary, you know, into a deep sleep that night and I go tap,

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, and it was from my roommate going, bro, bro, have you got the keys to the car? And I look out the window and the entire street's filled with fire trucks. And the couch that we'd put out had been set alight and our firewall rubbish was completely engulfed. Is this something, has big Donatian energy Greg? It was actually in Auckland. Oh wow, okay.

It was giving big Donatian. It was giving big Donatian. Cigarette butter had been flicked onto a tinder dry couch and basically melted the entire front clip of our car. Which after we drove it, every time we turned left, the horn came on, so it was quite comical. Far out. There's quite a few left hand turns in town, Greg.

100%, it was very inconvenient for a very long time. Oh my God, that's so funny. Here you go, you've got to turn left. Sorry, sorry. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Greg, thanks. Some messages in. Woke up to some tradies ripping up my deck.

They had the wrong house. Oh my gosh. They just been told to go rip up the old deck and start building the new one. Should have just let them. That would have been nice, get a free new deck out. Wait, I would, I'd be like, you have to put one back. Yeah.

Years ago, Big Night in the Juice woke up with six Sam Booker test tubes in bed with me. Sheets were purple stained. Ah, not good. The smell of Zambuca. Imagine waking up next to that. You'd be like... Keep your texts coming in.

9696 0800, dials at M. I am just adoring these messages. We want to know what you woke up to. A man woke up with a shipping container ship in his backyard. And you woke up with a Filet-O-Fish in the bed next to you. Half consumed. Half. Half consumed. I must have been tired. A bizarre first burger choice but we've discussed this many times. Oh stop it! It is my primary burger. I can see if you were in the zone and you'd smashed a Kori P. Maybe. Yeah. No. Not the primary burger. It's not a primary burger but we digress. Yeah, not the primary burger. Again, it's not a primary burger, but we digress.

Yeah, we do, we do. What have you woken up to? I woke up next to a pack of half-cooked noodles on my pillow yesterday morning. Okay. I assumed they're saying I'm a middle-aged lady who decided to go boogieing after a friend's boogieing Yep, after a friend's birthday on Saturday night got the munchies and decided to have noodles in bed

But only half cooked them. Well, it's a constant living crisis. Yeah, and I will just be getting tank away That's not we can't tell you. That's still suffering today So I would like to put some thoughts and prayers their way Yeah for a middle-aged lady who bit off a little bit more than she could chew Including the half-cooked noodles and is now rocking a two-dayer. Yeah, those two-dayers are killer. Two-dayers. A friend of mine in Australia woke up in the early hours, I still closed the bed patting what she thought was her cat, and then opened her eyes and there was a possum on her pillow.

That's different, they're a different vibe in Australia. Yeah, they possums, they like them in Australia. They're a different vibe. Okay, another possum one. I woke up to the sound in the middle of the night. I was dehydrating fruit leather and heard the lid fall off. So I got out of bed to see what happened. To set the scene, I sleep in my auntie's little G-string.

Hot. There was a possum that had come in and was eating my fruit leather. I ended up chasing it around the house with a broom before I managed to get it out. Ew, yuck. Ew, yuck. How did it get into the house, the cat door?

Oh, I woke up to a man looking at me head-shitting his pants. Wait, we're going to need more context for that. He went through the gate around the back of the house and climbed in my window. So guys are standing there, crapped themselves. He's shitting his pants! You alright, dude? Horrendous enough! Oh, yeah.

Without the purse smell're right, dude. Horrendous enough. Oh, yeah. Without the poo smell. Yeah, god. Um, I woke up next to my mate and, um, with a beard full of burger rings. A beard full of burger rings? Went to the bathroom and found sausage chunks all over the floor. Okay. That's silly.

What about someone's? I woke up to my cat sort of muffled meowing and I'm like, that's weird. Then the cat dropped a live rat on my body while I was in bed. Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. This one blew my mind. I woke up on the front lawn to see my house burn down.

I was only four and five and had passed me through the window when I was still asleep. Wow. She was wakening like, whoa, house burnt down. I woke up to my naked partner covered in blood knocking on the front door with my cat. My cat had been in a cat fight and the partner jumped the fence to rescue the cat. The cat turned on him and started attacking him, hence the blood and scratches. As he had jumped the fence, there was no way back in.

So he spent three minutes knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell. Our best part was absolutely naked with the puffed up bloody cat. Did you read the first time sleeping at my boyfriend's house? No. So good. I remember my first time sleeping at my boyfriend's house when I was about 19 being woken up by his mum asking what we wanted for breakfast. Not that weird except she was butt naked and remained that way while she made our breakfast. Needless to say, I wasn't hungry.

But you're a nude mother coming in and be like, hi darling, hi sweetie. Would you guys want some eggs? And maybe you wouldn't think it's weird because that's how she's always been. That's just mum. I wouldn't know what to say. Woke up with my ex-boyfriend in my bed on Saturday morning. Oh, you're all right babe.

Don't worry. You're all good. Yeah, that's very disappointing. They are disappointed in themselves. Yeah. We're not angry. We're not angry. We're not angry. We're just disappointed. We are disappointed. We worry. You're all good. Yeah. That's very disappointing. They are disappointed in themselves. Yeah, we're not angry. We're not angry. We're not angry, we're just disappointed. We are disappointed.

We are. We're a little bit disappointed. Play ZM's Fletch-Born in Hayley. Now guys, I have a job to do today. You know, well for people just joining us actually last night at the NZ International Comedy Festival awards ceremony, the unofficial bit before the big show. Oh so like the joke awards?

The um chosen by the office awards. Okay. Yeah yeah yeah. No I don't think we say joke because I won best dressed in the whole festival. Second tier awards? Yeah yeah sort of um. Third tier really? Unofficial almost, you know what I mean?

Because it goes Billie T, then Fred. No it goes the Fred, then it goes the Billie. No, well, it's the top award now, the top, top twins, the Fred Award for Best Show, the Billie T for Best, you know, Up and Coming Comedian. And then I think it's Best Dressed, just under that. Right, okay. Not Directors Choice or anything like that.

It's just Best Dressed, which I won last night. You know, fashion is my passion, passion is my fashion. My wardrobe is complete. My wardrobe and my renovation is done, which means it is time to haul four to five ginormous boxes of clothes out of the garage. Yep. And to face them all. And put them in a clothing bin.

Well, I don't know. It's gonna be bittersweet because there are clothes in there, I will say they're size 10s, and I haven't been a size 10 for three years. Okay. You know, and I probably won't even get back there. Could we just take them to an alteration store and just... You can make them smaller. Not bigger.

You've got to find the fabric fledge. I don't want to be putting in panels, you know, side panels into things. Yeah, when I was imagining some tartan panels. I could put tartan panels in, yeah, I suppose I could. Or some elastic, you know, side panels into things. I was imagining some tartan panels. I could put tartan panels in. Yeah, I suppose I could. Or some elastic and, you know, some expanding elastic. You know, I fluctuate. But today I'm going to do the great try on of 2025. I'm going to try on every item of clothing I have.

And if it doesn't bring me joy, it's got to go. Because, you know, I've got a pair of jeans, black, white skinny, size 32, puffer jeans. And I don't think they've ever been worn. And every now and then I'll be like, let's go. And I've come so close now. Yeah. So they've come close now.

Did these ever fit you? No, no, no, I don't think they did. I was gonna say. But this is the thing as well. Because you know when you get like size 32 jeans, sometimes size 32, you're like, yeah, nice. And then the other ones, you're just like, this isn't a 32, this is a 28. These 32 I had to have an

Painful two weeks of wearing until now. They're perfect. Oh, yeah Totally. They can never be washed. Yeah. I'm all over the show though because I have clothes Like last year I was in a bigger body and so and fashion is my fashion fashion is my passion So I bought bigger clothes and now they're they're a bit hanging loose in a bit. Even Ben Hurley was like, what man did you steal that jacket from? I was like, no, last year's fat hater. You just have to use your storage and chuck them in storage and hope you'll never use it.

Should I have racks in my garage? Yes. 16. That rack. Yes, and you take it out. Correct. I've got suits at the end and they're all, well no, I've got a Barker's suit and a, one Barker's suit and the rest of Helenshtein suits and they're just different sizes. They're just different sizes.

I don't know. I don't know what our formal events to be wearing that regularly, I'll go to put it on and I'll be like, what do you know? Maybe I should, eh? Have like the fluctuation station in the garage. That's its name. Fluctuation station.

We just have a rack and it ranges from 10 to 16, which is the smallest I've been and the biggest. That's what it's called. That's its name. Fluctuation station. And we just have a rack and it ranges from 10 to 16, which is the smallest I've been in the biggest. And then, cause I'm always gonna come back. You know what I mean? It could be like one of those things, like you know those, there's one in Auckland, there's all the boats and they're all like stacked up and they're like, I wanna use my boat today.

Yeah. And they go, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. And then this machine goes, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, plops it in the water for them. You could have that, but like, whatever. At my fluctuation station. Yeah, and they go do it do it do it do it and then this machine goes meh Pops it in the water for them you could have that but like whatever at my fluctuation station You flip open the computer and you're like size 14. Yeah summer Floral enter and it finds it for you Is this gonna be confronting for you because you're going to be throwing out clothes that A, you can't use and that costs a lot of money?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, my trade me tag is... Are you like, what are you, cause are you going to list stuff on trade me? Like literally, you would be shocked by the amount of clothes. Yeah. I'm a hoarder of clothing. I don't think I would be. No, I think you have an image of the amount of clothes. I'm a hoarder of clothing.

No, I think you have an image of how much there is. Could you like, I know because you said when you were showing us your house and how big the wardrobe was, and I said, this feels like an ensuite. And you're like, that's what it was supposed to be. But not even all my clothes will fit in here. I'm like, hey, this is.

No, already. I was like, it's already too small. Could you maybe adopt a size you know like a different size friend and donate all the clothes to them? Well Karwan and Shannon have been on the receiving end of some of my no longer worn clothes. Do you wear a lot of Pagani though? Do you want her Pagani? I think I'll politely decline the Pagani. Yeah, because you're not getting my merchies and my carons. I'm making money on those.

Do you want some clothes? Yes, I wear all your old coloured clothes. Yeah, I know because now I wear exclusively black clothing. And I had these bright purples and florals and stuff. And I was like, this has got big Shannon energy. Yeah, every time I wear it I'm like why did Hailey buy this? Like I'm thankful because like I love it. No but it's just not her.

No no no I lost my mind. Yeah. Well okay the girls gonna be inundated with fashion and then I'm gonna make my fluctuation station. Genius. And some of them I'm gonna have to part with. I'm gonna have to get rid of her. It's gonna be a sad debut.

It will be. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Yesterday was Sunday. Last week we talked about the fact that, I don't know why it's so funny, Kevin Jonas' real name is Paul Jonas. What? Paul? And he went with Kevin? And he went with Kevin? Why?

Anyway, he's not the only one with um... I think this would be a good quiz. Stage name. I think this would be a good quiz theme. Gizle it. Yep. Do we like that? It's got big game show energy, I like it.

Well it is a quiz. Okay. Yep, like that. Lock it in. Alright, here we go. I've got a list of people who aren't going by their real names. These are celebrities. Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna start in the category of musicians and singers. So you're gonna say their real name, we're gonna guess who it is. And you're gonna tell us who it is. Okay, great. Buzz in. Okay. Pete Attali.

Yes, oh my god, it's a competition fletch. Now I'm nervous, because I hate losing. No. I will throw a wobbly, I will flip this table. This one's an easy one to start it off. Wait, what's our buzzer? Just your name. Okay. Because his name's quicker than mine.

I've got two syllables he's got. Well why don't you just go with Hay. Okay. And I'll go with Fletch. Reginald Dwight. Fletch. Elton John. Correct.

Damn it, I knew that. Sucker, you're losing! That is such a sibling thing. I knew that. I knew that. I knew that, I knew that. Elizabeth Grant. Fletch. Yep. Uh, is that Lana Del Rey?

Yes, it is. He's clever. Yes, I'm so- Oneka Mirage. Hey, hey, hey! Yes. Oneka Moura. Nope.

Her name's... Almost. Fletch, any guesses on Oneka? I'm not guessing, no. No. Nicki Minaj. Oh, damn it, it was a chick. Oh my god, how embarrassing for you Drake. That's a good one. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Irey Graham. Three, two, one. Drake. Drake. Aubrey. I'm sorry. I thought it was a chick. Oh my God, how embarrassing for you, Drake. That's a girl's name. Ashley Frangipane. Are you picking up names? No, no.

Yeah, hey. No, hey. I thought it was pink, but pink's, I know pink. She's Alicia Moore. She is Alicia Moore. Ashley. Pink. Ashley Nicolette.

Frangipane is Halsey. Ashley Nicolette, Fragger Payne is Halsey. Oh, okay. Calvin Broadus Jr. It's a rapper. Calvin Harris. No. I know. Ice Cube. No.

Snoop Dogg. Calvin. Abel Tesfaye. What? Abel Mackinnon Tesfaye. No, I've got no idea. You're just saying syllables. Um, Ice Cube. No.

You're just gonna say everyone's Ice Cube. The Weeknd. Oh, okay. Oh, Weeknd. O'Shea Jackson Sr. Jackson. O'Shea Jackson Sr. No, I've got no idea.

Ice Cube. Correct. Damn it! I love Jason. O'Shea Jackson Sr. No, I've got no idea. Ice Cube. Correct. Damn it! A broken cock is right twice a day!

Well now you're out, now you're out. Now I'm gonna find a new one. Peter Hernandez. Peter Gene Hernandez if you want his middle name. Peter Gene Hernandez. Spanish, espanol. Spanish or Jason. Born? I've got no idea.

Mexicano. Ricky Martin. No, close. Filipino. Spanish or Jason. It's Bruno Mars. We now move into actors and actresses. Oh yay, more, more.

Nettalie Herschlag. Nettalie, that's not a name. Natalie's a name. Nettie hyphen Lee Herschlag. Herschlag. Is it Natalie Pullman? Correct. Yay!

That was so good. That was good for me. Kailin John, Karen Elaine Johnson. Karen with a C, Elaine Johnson. Karen? Karen? What? I've got no idea.

Ice Cube's wife. No, no, no. Who? Whoopi Goldberg. Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait. Whoopi's name is Karen? Karen Elaine Johnson.

That's crazy. Eric Bishop. Uh, Eric B That's crazy. Eric Bishop. Ah, Fletch, Eric Banner? No. Eric Bishop. Yep. That's Prince. No.

Jamie Foxx. Oh, okay. Jamie Foxx's name is Eric Marlon Bishop. Okay. Emily Jean Stone. Fletch. Emma Stone. Correct.

Am I winning? Just can I just check one of my emails? What do you mean are you winning? I've got one point. It's four one. Emma Stone. Correct. Am I winning? Just come out as CheckBorn am I? What do you mean are you winning? I've got one point. It's 4-1. Mark Sinclair. Ummm. Mark Wahlberg.

Nope. That's what I was going to say. Mark Sinclair. Ma Martin. Ricky Martin. No. I've got no idea. Vin Diesel.

Oh what? Mark. Wait he's not Vin? Vin Diesel oh what Vin Vin Diesel families is everything um my name's Mark Mark and families is everything Demetria Jean Gunes no no idea Mario Lopez Demi Moore what Demi Moore. What? Demi Moore, Demetria Jean Gunes. What? Okay. Michael Douglas.

Michael Douglas. The story about this actor is that he, there was already a Michael Douglas, so this is why he changed his name. Michael, Michael Caine. Not Michael Caine. Michael. Michael Keaton.

Michael Keaton. Oh, okay. Is actually Michael Douglas. Keaton's a great last name. Okay, couple more. Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra. What? Margot Robbie. No.

Ooh. Margaret Thatcher. Not Margaret Thatcher. Meg Ryan. Oh, okay. Actress Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan makes way more sense. Who else? Dana Owens.

Jennifer Lopez. Nope. Queen Latifah. Oh really? Queen Latifah's real name is Dana Owens. Oh my god, is her first name not Queen? Colson Baker. That is Jerry Springer.

Who? I just don't know any of these things. Machine Gun Kelly. Oh wow, okay. Yeah. So he's not machine by birth? No. Nor gun by nature. Fact of the Day is next.

And what's the theme this week, Bourne? Things named after places and what they're called in that place. Play ZM's Fleshborne in Hayley. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Things named after places, they've got a different name in that place. Okay. Today we start with cheeses. Mm-hmm. What do the Swiss call Swiss cheese? Oh yeah.

Oh, just cheese. Just, oh yeah. It's a generic term of course for holy cheese. Swiss cheese. If we see cheese with holes in it, we say that's Swiss cheese. I mean, I like it, but it's just when I'm buying it, I'm like, rather just buy cheese with... Without the holes, you plan for the holes. Yeah, it's's just when I'm buying it, I'm like, rather just buy cheese with... Without the holes, you're paying for the holes. Yeah, it's the same when I buy Aero chocolate bars.

Like, I love them, but I can't help but feel I'm... Getting ripped off. Getting ripped off. Yeah. Because it's fluffy, fluffed up air bubbles. If you're paying for cheese by the gram, and you can't see all the holes, you might feel better about it,

it might give you a better feeling because it looks like more cheese. But you're not, because if you got like those sliced Swiss slices and you've got another one, they're the same price. If you're paying per slice. You're getting less cheese. Per slice. If you're paying per slice, I'm saying, hang on wait. It's wild how much cheese you can buy now that's pre-sliced. I don't like them. They charge a premium for a pre-slicer or pre-grater. I grate my own. Yes I do. I prefer to grate my own and I think it tastes better. I totally agree. I'll go on record. I'm not afraid to stand up for the cause.

Cause I wasn't aware we were on record. We're on the record. Do they call it Chantel? They call it Gruyere. One of the types of Swiss cheese, the holy cheeses is a Gruyere and one called an Emmentaler. Oh, Elementaler. Yeah. We can get those on those slices. Those are two very specific Swiss cheeses, but they don't call them Swiss cheese, they just call them cheese and then those titles.

And also what about cheddar? Isn't this a Pulp Fiction thing? Do you know what they call something royal? A quarter pounder with cheese in France. They call it a royal with cheese. Royal with cheese. So it's not really a poultry thing. Yeah, no.

If you should shut up. I just realised as it came out. Yeah, yeah. Try to maybe realise before it comes out in the future. Don't bully me! Cheddar is a small English village and also a very popular sharp hard cheese. Cheddar cheese. So what do they call cheddar cheese in the village of Cheddar where it was invented?

Cheese. They just call it cheese. Yeah, I bet they just go cheese. It's our cheese. Are they like, it's our cheese. Yeah, can I say something about cheese? Cheddar cheese, unlike champagne, isn't a geographically protected term either. Oh, okay. You know how you can't call something champagne unless it's grown in champagne.

Yeah. They thought about it. And if they were in the EU, they may have put it on that you can't call cheddar cheese cheddar cheese unless it's made in cheddar. Like how Feta did. Yes. Feta went, if it's not from Greece, you're not allowed to call it that. You gotta call it crumbly cow crust. And this cheese, I actually saw it at the weekend because I went to Costco and I've never seen this cheese anywhere apart from Costco. It's Monterey Jack cheese. Oh yeah, is that really popular in America? It's American cheese. It was made in Monterey, California by a man called David Jack. So that's why it's Monterey Jack.

So what do they call it there? Just cheese? They call it Monterey Jack. In a weird move in Monterey, they call it Monterey Jack. Other cheese is named for places they were invented Colby cheese. Was that from Colby? That was from Colby in Wisconsin. Manchego, produced in the La Mancha region of Spain, is named after that, but they just call it cheese there. Gorgonzola and Parmigiano are Italian places, cheese is named after them.

Munster, Camembert, Brie, Rockford are French places with cheese named after them. And Edam and Gouda are places in the Netherlands. Man I rock an Edam. I love Edam. Edam roll is mild as hell, low fat. That's what the doctor said, if I kept up this cheese habit, I had to go to Edam. I had to go from Tasty to Edam recently.

Because of the cholesterol. I'm into it. I tell you what, that sucks to be told too. Blue block, cheaper. My granddad said, I don't work hard to eat Edam. All right. I work hard to eat T eat tasty because it's the best cheese. No, Edam's the best cheese. Edam rules. Very, very easy.

Delicious. Yeah. So, uh... We should have cheese, eh? Yum. I'm still looking around wishing there was cheese in there. I hooned some blue at the weekend. Did you hoon a blue?

Sometimes I just like one of those, um, the plastic wrapped ones. A cheese down. Like, lower your trash, trashdal. Like your trash cheese. That's the guy who literally like, towels us off for eating heavily processed food. No, I don't eat heavily processed food. You've got Chezdal slices? No, only sometimes.

I wanna go to the factory where they do that. I wanna see the cheese on the conveyor belt and how it gets wrapped. How does it become what it is? Is it pork? Surely there's an episode of Mega Factories on this. On Chezdal slices. Can you look it up? Yeah, I'm gonna look it poorly there's an episode of mega factories on this Yeah, I'm gonna look at how we can watch that on our own time. So today's fact of the day is in Switzerland They don't call Swiss cheese Swiss cheese. They call it goodie air or a mental air or just cheese Day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day, and the internet went, what? Because Travis Kelsey has a hairy back. It's just not what I expected.

No, he does look quite groomed, I guess. And you would think, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, everyone's different. Some women love body hair and back hair. Some don't. Yeah, totally. You guys, you had it lasered, right?

Yeah, there's a little bit like fluff. Yeah, a little bit of fluff. But it does come back. Oh my god, he's as bad as it was. Yeah, a little bit of fluff. But it does come back. Oh my god, how bad is it? They're never having to like wax it. Bad, sorry. Yeah. Ever again is like the best money ever spent.

Oh, I think whatever you want to do with your body here, you can do it, right? Yeah. Like totally. But everyone was just like, Am, what's that? Like yuck and da da da da. And then the women- It kind of was. I thought it was-

I was just like yuck. Do you know what it was? Is that it's so patchy. Yeah. And I think that if you got it like, in a dream world, if you were a hairy fella, you'd want it to kind of be covered in it, you know, and that's sort of the vibe.

So everyone was like having a go, but then the whole other side of the internet came out and they were like, no, this is like hot. Like we're sort of into this. And there's a whole lot of support there's also a whole bunch of laser clinics that have approached Travis Kelsey to be like I bet they have. We can sort this right out for you. But he has quite fair hair though eh? Travis Kelsey, it looked quite light. He's got big eyebrows. That's the problem with laser.

It's got to be a dark hair to be laser. The perfect one. Dark hair on a light skin. Yeah, which is me. I am a great candidate. Dark hair, light skin. So he was saying on this podcast, he addressed it and was like, oh, listen, me and heat don't do well.

Like I'm hot all the time. I took off my shirt, referred to himself as furry, kind of kept it cool. And he was like, oh whatever. And then someone suggested that they should replace Taylor Swift's lyrics with, Karma is the breeze in his back hair on the way. Wow. That's good, that's good.

Karma is my boyfriend. Anyway, I wanna know, what do you find hot in the opposite sex? Because the internet has like a huge rallying behind this being like, no, body hair on the back is a sexy, sexy thing. And maybe, you know, that's maybe not your traditional or your sort of like, you know, normal societal beauty standards.

But maybe you're like, goddamn, I love a moly man. Oh, okay. You know, maybe you could have said, maybe you like that. Maybe you do love a fuzzy, fuzzy boy a moly man. Oh, okay. You know, maybe you could have fun. Maybe you like that. Maybe you do love a fuzzy fuzzy boy with a fuzzy butt. You love running your fingers through his back here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe you do. Feels warm and comfy and nice,

and relaxing. Sure. I mean, I like a chest here. The back, it is you to you. But if you, would you just be like, let's get rid of that? Oh, yeah, like I think if I had a partner and yeah, I'd snap them. Right.

If they were the hairy back, I would. You'd just be like, let's get rid of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give that a bit of a snappy whack. Let's give you some laser sessions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But maybe you love a big bushy brow, you know? You like, and whatever you like. Or you love a hairy, hairy woman, maybe. So this is what we want to know this morning

0800 DALSATEM give us a call some texts already coming in 9696. Straight up bald beard and belly. Oh I get it. I see it and I get it. What do you find attractive in the opposite sex? Give us a call. Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift's partner, was spotted with his shirt off and the commentary on his back here has been robust. A lot of people saying that they find it very, very attractive.

So we wanna know what do you find hot in the opposite sex that maybe people are like, oh, okay, interesting. Now, Megan, for you it is the hair as well. Yeah, it's, you know, like the little fluff coming out the top of the shirt. Oh yeah, yeah. A little bit of chest fluff.

Yeah, a little chest fluff. Or back fluff. You know, a little bit of a nuzzle in there with your nose, I don't know, is that a bit weird? Oh no, that's a tickle. Give you a little tickle. I get it. But what about when you see guys

and they've got the big bush coming out of the back of the collar? Yeah, we like the back as well. No, no, no, just the front. My husband actually shaved it off once and I was pretty dark. Oh wow, really? Did you tell him why you were dark

or did you just let him guess? He knew. Oh okay, he knew. What's wrong, babe, what's wrong? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing wrong, it's your body. I suppose you can do what you want with it.

Megan, thank you. Some messages in. I'm a, then insert naughty word, for a snail trail on some abs down into some baggy dirty jeans. Oh, sorry. You've got abs there though. Haley.

Haley. Sorry, I sort of like- The gutters? Do we, are people mentioning the gutters as well? They won't be, but no, because that's, of course- That's so obvious. That's too obvious. Yeah.

A man who's tall, strong strong and a little bit ugly. Man, I get it. I get it. I had two ginger boyfriends in my early 20s with freckles and red hair and I bloody loved it. Yeah, yeah, a couple, a number of messages for the, for the gingers. Dark haired man with salt and pepper going on. Heavy on the salt please.

Heavy on the salt. Yeah. with salt and pepper going on. Heavy on the salt please. Heavy on the salt. Yeah my missus cuddles, starts purring like a cat when she cuddles into my wool on a cold night. She calls it the thermal insulation. God that was so spicy. Yeah. I don't care if a man is portly or spindly if he's got broad shoulders I am there. Wow. Wonky teeth. Someone said I'm literally dry reaching listening to you guys talk about running fingers through back here that's disgusting. Yeah. Ginger boys are the beard. I love all the noises that are coming with. And then someone just said actually ginger girls too. No beard though. Yeah. Beard optional for ginger girls.

Beard optional with the chicks. Each to their own. Big hands, they got big hands. They gotta be bigger than mine, how you gonna take care of me with tiny hands? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep your texts coming in, 9696 0800 dials at end. What do you find hot in the opposite sex?

George is joining us in the studio. Now- Happy birthday for us Saturday. Oh, thanks babes. Do you have an unconventional thing that you find quite hot in a man? George is joining us in studio now happy birthday for us Saturday Do you have an unconventional thing that you find quite hot in a man? Yes I was trying to beat around the bush and say it's very south south island of me But a dude in a nice pair of jeans with their butt looks tight With their padonk

That's unconventional though, that's everybody likes a nice looking butt with a pair of jeans. Honestly, I'm vanilla, so I don't know. Mine's just, yeah, it looks like they've committed a crime, you know? That is pretty hard. Bad boy. Looks like dangerous. Like they're on the run, FBI's most wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it looks like, oh my god, I like a man that looks like I shouldn't bring him home to my parents you know yeah that's kind of hot though my mama's gonna hate you yeah sorry so we're asking you this because Travis Kelsey's back here was in the news it's not a so many women messaging they're like like, we love it. They love it. So some messages in.

A bump in the nose. Like a ski ramp. No, like they've played rugby and broken the nose. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, like they've been punched, they've been in a bar fight, and they shouldn't take you home to mum. Do you know what I mean?

It's all coming back to that, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. When a guy's on a motorbike with full leathers, I don't really care what it's looking like under the helmet, it's just hot. Like leave the helmet on. That top text is so specific.

I'm very attracted to a man with a big nose and long slender forearms with a classic watch on. Oh. Like a finance guy? Like a leather strap. Leather strap. Yeah, like a brown leather with a gold face. What about an Apple watch?

No, not hot. I saw a guy at the gym the other day double watching. What, a fashion watch and an Apple watch? No, Apple watch and then some other kind of watch. Oh, is he like really trying to track his get off it? I feel like, like, calm down. Like double watching. Yeah, calm down. Um, someone said boobies are pretty cool.

I'd probably, I don't have to agree. It's so unconventional. We're not, we're asking for it. I just thought it was worth a mention. I like my men with a bit of tism. Yeah, okay. Someone says, bit of tism or ADHD. Yeah, but really?

Bit of tism with the autism? Yeah, well. You're getting rizzed. We never have to look at the train schedules, will you? Yeah, well, no, you never have to look at the train schedules. They're just... No. A slightly lazy eye and a bitch lip.

What's a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? Like a little bit upturned. Yeah. What is a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? Yeah, this is a bit of a... What is a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? Like a little bit upturned. Yeah.

What is a bitch lip? What is a bitch lip? That is the kind of like, mm. I'm just like, mm. I'm going to pick a fight with you later. Yeah. Sounds like... Mullets with a beard.

Hot. Wait, so there's a hanger on the front and the back. But I don't reckon that's unconventional though. That's just like standard in South Island. Oh, mullets are bad. Yeah. Amanda Moodren from the Ocean, a wet suit and a dive tank and a couple of cray. Oh, that's a good one.

Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. that's unconventional though. That's just like standard in run from South Island. Yeah. A man emerging from the ocean in a wetsuit and a dive tank and a couple of cray. Oh!

Yeah. I'm sorry, there's nothing sexy about wetsuits. Oh no, they're not. Nothing. But when you see a hot surfer. A ripped down. When it's down. When it's down.

But when girls have got it folded down and they're wearing a bikini top. No, but with men you're essentially wearing a pair of leggings now. Do you know what I mean? When you've got it pulled down like that. Oh no, that's sexy. Do you know what's really unsexy? Reef shoes or those wetsuit boots.

Oh my god, booties. Shame. Especially if they've got the toe homes. Yeah, if you've got a little soft feet, can't climb on the reef, can't climb on the river shoes. Yeah, yeah. But you know, they do make sense. You don't want to get an infection from a cut from the coral.

Oh, my parents lived by a river and we would always do river swimming over summer and I'd rock a reef shoe. No, don't you just clench your toes in between your genitals and that's what we're gonna do. Exactly. I've got a soft foot. Pale, male and frail.

With a side of fruity. Pale male. What's a gay guy in the closet? A frail. Yeah, a closeted gay guy who's really skinny. You would have really thrived in the 50s. Oh god, you pansies. Somebody said you should be running this segment like a trade and exchange because that slightly

lazy-eyed bitchlip on a woman, I've actually got one of those free to a good home. Oh really? Going at the moment. All right, we can connect you. Yeah, we'll get that happening. Swapperoo. Yeah, the old swapperoo. Sorry George, we are passing on the show to you.

The audience is horny. Yeah, should I carry on the horniness? Maybe. I don't know, I'm up to you. How far do I take it? I love a broke, oh no, no, I can't be dead. No, you can. I just read that top text and was like, no.

No. No. Actually you're a bad person, the person who messaged in 405. No, you're a bad person. I'd rethink your work and start again. Well we've got to end with another one then. Yeah, it's got to be funny, a right out. Yeah.

A natural out. It's actually a natural out. Oh sorry, natural, sorry guys. Did you say right out? Yeah. Did you think you hit it? Is that what you thought? I really thought that I nailed it on the head.

Guys, I mess up most things, so it's just standard. I like when they smell like ciggies and weed. Oh! No. That's someone that's not contributing to the household finances. Can't come home to mama. They're not contributing to the government either. No, that's a good out, Hayley.

Yeah, thank you. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm gonna have to stop you there, that's copyrighted. Suzy Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great.

Tell her I'll review her five stars, if she does the same for this podcast, and then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well. Play ZM's FletchBorn and Hayley.