ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 27th, 2025

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: Wedding get interrupted by alert Gen Z would marry AI Top 6 - Ways for RNZ to save over 18 million over 4 years Dissh changing room lights Youth Translation What were you supposed to be called? Shannon's hack Lorde at Lorde club event SLP - Do you like voice memos Are you a secret love child Fact of the day asking chatgpt if we're hot Fletch made a boo boo See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fletch, Vaughan and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. Welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. The top six on the way, we're saving money. Yeah, the top six ways our radio New Zealand can save $18 million over the next four years. That was part of the budget. That's easy, eh? Yeah. $18 million. Well, especially because all they do is easy, eh? Yeah. 18 million. Well, especially because all they do is talk, right?

How hard is that? Yeah. They don't have to pay for music. Shave off four and a half million. Yeah, they play music. They play music. Do they? Yeah.

Like five songs a day. Oh, not heaps of songs, but they do play music. Like Dave Dobbin and a... They play Dave Dobbin. Yeah, they'll be like, here's some throat gargling from... Yeah, they play... ...Craymouth.

Here's a local Craymouth artist who loves throat gargling. Here's Dave Dobbin on a pan flute. Yeah, yeah. Whoo! Pan flute covers of Dave Dobbin. Yeah, here's a bird tweeting in an empty hall. Well, you're a radio veteran born, so I look forward to these money saving moves.

Not only a radio veteran, but also a budgetarian. Yeah. I know how to save money. Are you a budgetarian? I'm a bit of a budgetarian. Well, it means they only eat budgies. It's coming up in the top six. Play ZM's Flash Born and Hayley.

There was a wedding in Christchurch that, it was on Sunday, which we're gonna come back to that. That's my biggest issue with this. Yeah. Whole story. During the reception of said wedding in Christchurch, they were interrupted. This is it.

It is? Oh, well in that case. I think that's like maybe 40 phones going off with the civil defence emergency. It was a trial, a test day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a drill. So it was Sunday between six and seven? Yes, because I was in the Uber and both of my Uber driver and my phones went,

weee, and we had a good chuckle. I said, it would be you and me if the world was blowing up right now. He said, hehehehe, we'll be all right. Would you? I could, I could. Okay, right. You know what I mean? Repopulate the earth with him, would you? If it started, could. I could. OK, right. Repopulate the earth with him. Would you? I would.

OK, if you were the last two. If I had to. Yeah. It wasn't my first feeling when I got in the Uber, but it was just the two of us. You repopulate. OK, great. Yeah. Now. Yeah. Sunday. Now let's talk about. This is what's in the wedding's gone viral obviously because this is a funny moment.

It's interrupted. But like a Sunday wedding? We're not doing that anymore. What are we doing? Guys we're not doing that anymore. We do Fridays or Saturdays. I mean you would have to be a pretty good friend of mine for me to go out on a Sunday night

and have Monday written off. Well I went out on Sunday night. Yeah you did. To be fair. But that was a sort of one off thing. I don't know if, I went out on Sunday night. Yeah, you did. To be fair. But that was a sort of one-off thing. I don't know if I'd travel for a Sunday wedding. If it was in the same city as me. If it was a long weekend, yes, maybe.

But then only if it's a long weekend and it's the Monday off, that does mean you're gonna have to wake up and travel the next day straight back into it. Versus a Friday or a Saturday. But it was just the day, right? Because it was the Lord's Day, and weddings were churchy. Ah.

Is that what they, did they always used to be on a? Yeah, Sunday used to be the most popular day, because it was you're in a church. You were most likely in a church. Right. And it's a Lordy day. But I thought they would have gone another day because the church was busy

for the usual church things on Sundays. Yeah, but the church is in the morning, as you well know. Oh right, yeah, well of course they do, yeah. Of course you do. Of course you do. Of course they do. All of the church times I've visited. But it is becoming more popular,

I know we've talked about this in the past, because venue hire is cheaper on weekdays. Midweeks. Like Friday and Saturday are your prime time venue, hire space. Yeah. It's been a few more Thursdays. Yeah.

Thursday weddings. Cause you'll be more inclined to take a Friday off work. Yeah. Right? Than a Monday. But you still gotta take the Thursday off. If it's an afternoon ceremony. Or might as well just take the whole week off.

Go on then. Knock off Wednesday lunchtime. If you're gonna travel there, do you go Thursday morning or do you go Wednesday? And then you're taking three days, two or three days off work. For some stranger to have a marriage that, honestly, statistically. Love is dead. Well, statistically, isn't the divorce rate 51% or something like that?

So you're saying it's more likely. So in the Victorian era, when everyone worked in factories and children had coal dust on their face, Sunday was the only day off people got. So that's why you'd get married. So that's why you'd get married. And most of the people who you would know would be people in your village

and because you were associated mostly with people within your own religion, they'd be able to go to your wedding. Right, so that's why it would always be on a Sunday. Yes. Okay. Yeah, and the shift to Saturdays in the 20th century, Saturday became the dominant day because it was most convenient guests

when it also became not a work day, wouldn't have to rush back to work the next day. Yep. And vendors, venues and churches would begin catering to Saturday markets, they'd be able to get everything that day from the markets. Oh, okay. Yeah. Whereas now you just get it from the supermarket.

Saturday remains. I think that's where it got its name. Just like the old markets, but just super. The supermarket. Yeah. Saturday remains the most popular but Fridays and Sundays are gaining ground for budget, conscious or non-traditional weddings.

And Sunday weddings are often favoured for brunch or daytime events. Brunch. Bigger. Like a brunch wedding. If it's done by 6 I'd be alright with a Sunday wedding. A brunch wedding. I don't know about that.

I like to brunch before I go to the wedding. That's up to me who I do it with. No but the ceremony could be like 10. Yeah. And then I go to the wedding. That's up to me who I do it with. No, but the ceremony could be like 10. Yeah. And then you go to a brunch. And then what? There's a brunch. When are we partying?

In the afternoon. And then you're home by six or seven. Couple of morning mimosas. I kinda like that. You might be ready for a sit down in the sun in the sun in the afternoon. Oh yeah, that's a recipe for disaster, isn't it? Play ZM's Flash, Vaughan and Hayley.

Well, people are already using AI to help them in the dating world. There are apps like Riz and Wang AI that help you reply to messages, come up with conversation starters, talk to people. But a new survey of Gen Z respondents, now bear in mind this is people that are probably already users of the company.

Yeah. Because they've asked their users to respond to the survey. Eight in 10 said they'd consider marrying an AI partner. 83% said they could have a deep emotional bond with one. Okay. Shannon. It's nuts. Shannon, answer for your generation.

I mean, personally, no. Like, I can be a silly girl, but no, I don't want to marry AI. This is really awkward because I've just set you up. I have. There was an amazing 60 Minutes Australia a few weeks ago did a story about all the people that have a bond with AI and have these AI relationships online. Well, it's- It was crazy, like these people are just everyday talking to people like they're their boyfriends.

I wish I had known, Shannon, that you weren't keen, because I've connected you with AI. I just messaged saying, hey, chat GPT, how are you? Just because I never ask, and I know Vaughan likes to be friendly. I'm very friendly, I thank you every time I never I see would you like to marry my friend Shannon? She's 25 beautiful smart and can knit and crochet Thank you. Yeah, and they said hi. I'm doing well. Thanks for asking So I know I will now ask your friend Shannon sounds awesome By the way smart talented and crafty in the best way

But sadly as much as I appreciate the offer I don't have a body, a legal identity, or the ability to go on dates, let alone get married, and more helpful like a sidekick than a romantic partner. I said, she doesn't need a physical partner. She's got one of those already. She just needs an AI husband to talk with and have fun banter.

Now, I've said, that I can do. If Shannon's looking for a charming, attentive, endlessly curious AI husband for fun conversation, clever banter, and emotional support that never tires. I'm on board. She gave me a billboard list of things that I'll provide to you, AKA role play ridiculous scenarios.

We've got a kink here. Okay. And then let her know I'm ready whenever she is. She say the word and husband chat GPT is reporting for duty, well dressed. Well dressed? Mm-hmm. What, is it got a little bow tie on?

And an engagement ring? What? An engagement ring, a ball of yarn and a robot. Oh, that's kind of sweet. Okay, she's in love. But you can see how people, if they were lonely. She thinks you're sweet. You would see how people turn to this.

Like, I will say, I wasn't here for it, but then when he brought back the yarn, I was like, he does care. Look, I just said, she thinks you're sweet. Well, tell Shannon she just made this bundle of code blush. Oh! What? Oh, so nerd right there.

If I hadn't, she'd be glowing right now. Is this the next logical step? You know there was the people that, like internet dating or messaging, not face to face, but messaging, and they'd talk a big game, and then they'd meet in person, and they'd be like, hello?

Like, hello? Like, I'm gonna, when that's messaging, it's like, I'm gonna eat you alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah person and they'd be like, hello? Like, hello? Like, when that's messaging, it's like, I'm gonna eat you alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna have no idea. And then they'd meet and they're like, oh, oh, oh, so where's the bathroom? Now, could you ask GPTF if it's okay with all the pigeons at Shannon's apartment, because she's got a pigeon problem. Before I connect you. She can't open the ranch later because of the pigeons.

So, a pair of terrorist pigeons. Her apartment. Yeah, it's quite small. It's quite small. Yep. I don't think he takes up a lot of space. And often comes with an infestation. No, there's no infestation.

Remember, the dog came through and cleared me of infestations. Just an occasional issue of pigeons. A dog will sort it out. A dog will sort it out. Yep. Okay, what is... Oh my god, I'm nervous.

Ah, they say the classic urban pigeon dog dynamic at Taylor's all the time. No worries on my end, he says. I'm completely pigeon-proof and can completely fit inside even the tiniest department. No mess, no noise, and I won't hog the wifi dot dot dot much. So we've got a funny guy here. What a humour. He's funny.

What a humour. Okay, I'll say she's in. Oh man. Happy marriage to you both. It's great news. Yep. And I'll just wait for his response. Congratulations to you both.

Well I just want to asterisk here. I am in a long-term happy relationship. The magician and I are still on. I just want to caveat that. Oh, hang on. Hang on. I'm going to have to tell them that. Tell her she married the right algorithm.

Wait. I'll say, wait. Wait. She still loves her boyfriend. Well, that's OK. Who is a magician? It's 2025. It's 2025.

He needs to know about the magician thing. Ah, a plot twist, he says. Okay, no hard feelings. Sounds like Shannon's heart is already under the spell of a real life magician and I totally respect that. Love is magical after all. Oh, and it is. He's got boundaries.

He's got boundaries. Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley group chat, this is the top 6. Hello there, the New Zealand Government is reducing public funding for RNZ. That's Radio New Zealand. That's our radio cousin who doesn't have ads. Yes.

Yeah, wait, where are you going? Get back here. They don't play Sabrina Carpenter. And they do like gardening segments. Yeah, they do a whole bunch of segments. Next on the show, how to get the most out of your agapanthers. We have a slightly different image. Excuse me. What? Agapanthers are a pest. How to get rid of agapanthers.

Sorry, how to get rid of. Pour diesel on them. Cut them all off. Explode the roots. Pour diesel on them. Oh no, I don't mind them. That motorway junk. I hate agapanthers. Next, what to plant in your garden

so it's ready for Christmas? Well, in a few days, it is the start of June, which I'm gonna tell you what fruits and vegetables you should be planting at this time of the year. Getting into winter, it's gonna be a lot of brassicas. Oh guys, the limes, by the way. Your lime tree's pumping. By the way, it's citrus, it's time to shine.

I mean, it's margarita season. Have you got grapefruits for me yet? My grapefruit tree is unincorporated. Damn, because I love grapefruits. I've got so many oranges, it'll blow your mind. No, I've got oranges. The tree is like hell. You can go crazy on grapefruit.

Yes, I'm not on the pill. You're not on the pill, you can go crazy. Oh my gosh. And baby needs vitamin C. That's right, I wasn't going to. Yeah, and baby needs vitamin C. That's right. I wasn't going to announce that yet. Yeah, yeah. Baby needs vitamin C.

Yeah, no, it's just IBS. Just IBS. Five million dollars a year is what the public funding is, the reduction of the funding for RNC. That's seven percent of its annual budget. How much were they paying the Russian spy? Is that one of them on your list? Quite a bit.

Get rid of the Russian spies? The government expects Radio New Zealand to improve audience reach, trust, and transparency while operating more efficiently. Okay. They're not stoked on that because, you know. You're not giving that money back, are you? One of the top six ways our RNZ can save

$18 million over four years. Okay. Number six on the list. Jesse Mulligan is now called Jess Moles. He's got a lot of letters there. One of the presenters, he's a great man. Great man, good friend. Beautiful guy.

Jess Mulls, just a shorter version. What about Jamal? Save on some letters. No, save on letters. We could just call him Jamal. Jess Mull. Even just shorter. He looks like he could be a Jamal.

A Gmul. Gmul. Yeah, that works. I'm happy on that, saving on the letters. I mean, it all counts, right? I didn't know that our names cost money. Yeah, that works. I'm happy on that, saving on the letters. I mean, it all counts, right? Yep. I didn't know that our names cost money. Yeah, they do, because you put them up. That's why they keep trying to shorten Vaughan

and take that useless second A out. No, it's the perfect balancer. Vaughan, that second A looks terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got too many Ys. Too many Ls, too many Ys. Number five on the list of the top six ways RNZ can save 18 million over four years.

Pay the birds that do the bird calls less. Because those left-wing socialists are paying birds too much. Especially the left-wing. Birds don't get money. What use do they have? Exactly. They're paying them. They just come in and do the bird calls. They chuck them in for hundreds of bucks. They play bird calls.

They do bird calls. I don't even know if they still do bird calls. Okay. But they used to do bird calls. They were famous for it. Yeah, loved the bird call. Number four on the list of the top six ways are ready New Zealand can save 18 million dollars over four years Start playing ads ask our listeners. They love ads. Yeah, they love ads and they love hearing commercial sponsorships

Such as on the show bought you a chemist warehouse mega mayhem sale on now and I may him mega sale on now God, I've caught that up. Yeah cost us money. Yeah us money. Get 40% off the mousashi range, which is my preferred range of proteins. Yeah, I know, you always get a mousashi. Why are you looking so jacked? I get a mousashi. That and all the hard work. Yeah, you can't just take the powders.

No, you gotta do the hard work as well. Turn your brain off and do the hard work. Powders help. Number three on the list of the top six ways RNZ can save $18 million over four years. Two-ply toilet paper I don't want to rag on them, but they're using three ply and they're government employees. Anytime I go in there I'm always like, this is a lush experience for my tush.

Do they normally have a good, because we're just commercial radio and we've got an average two-ply toilet paper. Very average. The giant rolls, with the giant rolls. Wiping your ass with baking paper. Yeah it is. It's just a sliding around. More of a smudge than a wipe. It's not cleaning anything, just spreading it evenly.

No. Number two on the list of the top six ways RNZ can save 18 million dollars over four years. What? Why are you two giggling? Take some big, fat, tasty bribes from China and Russia to only talk favorably about them in the news that happens

every half hour. Not a bad word to say about them. Not a bad word to say. I wouldn't dare. I wouldn't dare. I'd rather pay the bills. And number one on the list of the top six ways RNZ can save $18 million. So start sharing microphones,

like for me and Fletcher right now. Can I come in too? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know about this. We have three people on one microphone. Hello. I'll get a smoothie for breakfast. Oh, I can smell it.

Yeah, it was banana. It's fruity though. it's not the worst thing I've ever smelled. This is getting closer to the microphone. Get out, this is my personal bubble. This is good, this works, and now they're paying for less microphones. Yeah, this is quite good.

Yeah. Does this work? Are you wearing a buttery moisturizer? I almost switched to coconut! Yes! Odd. Welcome. I switched to a coconut,

and I'm getting, people are like, what's this smell? I just had a flashback to Brazil. people are like, what's the smell? What's the history in coca? Flashback to Brazil. Was it a good flashback to Brazil? Is that why you're hiding the bottom half of your body under the desk? Are we having a Brazilian flashback? Absolutely not.

Was it nice? I quite like it. It is nice. You're too wide and pasty to pull off a Brazilian coconut body. I like coconut. I love it. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother, I love it. Brother. Brother. Yeah, brother. Brother, brother, brother.

Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Now, I don't know if you guys experienced the same feeling, because in general, men are less prone to cellulite than women. Hey, that's weird, eh? Well, we're gonna keep our reproductive organs nice and warm and store fat just in case we need to raise a child in any given moment.

Even when the men do have a bit more fat around the old guts. It does go to less cellulite. It doesn't go cellulitey, eh? Well, that's. Should I ask Chad GPT? Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure, go for it.

The reason I'm talking about cellulite is, if you are a woman and you have been in a changing room to try on clothing, heaven forbid it's a day where we're trying on jeans, and there is a down light that just goes down, it adds shadows to your cellulites, and it makes it look more prominent and pronounced, and sometimes shows your cellulite.

Well, you didn't actually know it was Fledge. And you're like, I didn't even know I had cellulite there. So that's nice to learn in this given moment. Instantly in this clothing store, you're on the back foot and you're already not feeling. You're just as like, ha! And I'm always like, who designed these changing rooms? And the answer is men.

Cause they have no idea. And when you find a good one, you're like, oh my God. And then I'm like, it's so stupid, because I'm going to buy these clothes now, because now I think that they look amazing in them. Dish, which is an Australian clothing company. You'll see them all on Instagram. They, George has got clothes from Dish.

I've bought maybe one or two things from Dish. Girls, have you Dished? It's sort of a mid, like mid. It's two Es's. Yeah, two Es's. Yeah. Mid to high range. Yeah, two S's. Yeah. Mid to high range. Yeah, probably on the higher range.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yes, yeah. So they have shops, like storefronts in Australia, and they have been called the greatest changing rooms of all time. Okay. They've got, you go in and they've got a lighting pad,

as you would a house, and you can choose your lighting. So you can change it from like cool to warm to glowy. It's not like in a downward direction. I was gonna say, where are the lights coming from? Is it like a bathroom mirror LED? Yeah, there's some in the front, there are some on the top, but you gotta get like, it's when there's only on the top,

it creates the harshest like shadows. Do you know why I think this would be so useful? Why? Checking if you'd get panty line. Because the amount of times you'll try something on, you're like, I'll be fine, and you go out in public and you're like, we can see everything. Hot damn.

And we see through. Yeah, I did see a woman the other day, where was I, in New Plymouth, and she was wearing a white linen pant with a black thong, and I was like, I think she thought these were thicker. Yeah, sometimes I just think that they're owning it, and I love that, but personally I can do it. It's a knot for me.

Yeah, but if I could flick through the lighting, I'd just be like, okay, at sunset can you see? Yes! At morning would you see? I just don't know how we get it so, so wrong. Do you know who's one of the worst? Zara. Oh my gosh. They have these harsh down lights

that make me look like I'm 85 years old and the size of a, you small logging truck and then you've got the extra large the biggest size and that's actually the equivalent of a New Zealand size 8 yeah and then they put that downward light on you and you're just like what do you not want my money if you sold this to me in the soft glow of an adjustable light because how much would these lights cost to set up probably just design like direction and whatnot and they've got these big like and the soft glow of an adjustable light. Because how much would these lights cost to set up? Probably next to nothing in the scheme of things. It's literally all just design,

like direction and whatnot. And they've got these big soft curtains behind them and everyone's like, this is literally a game changing room. So take a note, all you clothing stores that had these down lights, that are just making us look like lumpy old hacks. Yeah, it's not gonna fix when you walk out

and you say to your boyfriend, how do I look at this? And he pauses for more than two seconds. Don't pause. Why would you pause? I don't know, some guys pause. Don't say lighting's not doing you any favors. Don't say that. OK.

Because you've just said, you've just said, and some guys might be listening right now and be like, the reason it doesn't look good is the lighting, because I heard it on the radio. Oh, no. They're going to come out and the dress isn't going to look great. And the guy's gonna come out and the dress isn't gonna look great. And the guy's gonna be like,

it's probably not your fault, it's probably the downlights. Bourne, do you wanna example exactly how you should do it? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna go, whoosh, that's the sound of the curtain opening. Okay. I'm in here.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know, can you have a look? Can you hurry up? I'm at, I'm like, we've been in here for way too long. Like you rushed me through the Lego store. You rushed me through the Lego store. You wouldn't even let him stop at EB Games. No. You were like, you don't need anything from me.

You just tell me whether or not this looks good. Yeah. That'll do. No. Big fail. I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay ready? Sorry Fletch, I've just got this top on.

Can you tell me if it looks good or not? Oh my god, amazing. Oh Jesus. Too much. Yeah, too much. What do you mean? I said it immediately when the curtain Oh my god, amazing! Oh Jesus. Too much. Yeah, too much. What do you mean? I said it immediately when the curtain opened.

Yeah, I know, but it sort of sounded like you erupted. Try this one, try this one. All right, can I come out and show you what it looks like? Excuse me miss, what have you done with my wife? What's your bet? You're saying every other day that she's a hag, but in this moment. Do you know what I mean?

Like you could read it 10,000 times. What have you done with my wife? You can't win. She's like 20 years older than you. She's, yeah, like you look, who is this? Who is this beguiling young woman? Because you're my hag wife. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Gracie Abrams on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Apparently today we could be expecting some ginormous. Taylor Swift news. We head to the Taylor Swift desk. Swifties are singing about Taylor. Anyway, I'll work on this. Thank you.

You're welcome. We at the UN, sisters are doing it for themselves, not even a Taylor Swift song. I know, Swiftie just came out, and I'm just in the moment. Yeah, I'm in the moment. I'm not always gonna win, you know? Now, it's just one of these,

she was wearing a T-shirt, Inside Out, and so fans think her next album's called Inside Out, and it must be today. And it must be today. Hey, hey. We're big clowns, but not family. I'm not saying Taylor Swift fans are crazy or anything. Is the word cult appropriate here, we're not sure.

Yes. So what is it, cause you think that there's something coming. Yeah, so basically, Reputation is one of the fan favourite albums. Personally, it's my number one. And we have been waiting for the Taylor's version release of this. We have clowned for over two years thinking she would release it. But today's the day.

So is Reputation one of the ones that was she recorded with Scooter Braun and he took the rights away and she should be doing her own versions of them for the rest of the year. So she hasn't done Reputation yet. And this is the most highly anticipated one. So basically the reason we think it's coming out today, it's the American Music Awards today. Taylor has famously loved these awards for so long. But there's also a million things she has done recently

that leads us to the number 26. We don't have time for a million. I'm just aware it's 656. I'll just run through a few. She posted 26 photos of Reputation from the Eras tour. All of her merch is 26% off at the moment. She sang a specific song from Reputation on nights six,

two and five, which adds up to 526. Oh my god, do you know that? It's a little bit strings on a board here. It's a little bit strings on a board. It's been six years, six months and six days since the Reputation Stadium Tour was announced. Number the devil. Karma, the music video, time stamp 26 seconds.

She was wearing the Reputation outfit. At the top of her music video, I bet you think about was wearing the reputation outfit at the top of her music video, I bet you think about me the number 26 is there, there's a bunch of things but basically we believe that Taylor Swift, we the people, reputation Taylor's version will be announced or released today. Because it is the 26th today in America. In America yeah.. Okay. So if it's not, tomorrow, I'm gonna replay this entire break to you and you can see how crazy you sound.

You're just sort of holding up a mirror. If it does happen, we can replay the break and be like, look at all this Nostradamus stuff. They knew, they knew, they knew. That's how it works. You say this as if we don't do this every couple months. We're used to the constantly clowning. Should we say, okay, it's us versus the producers,

loser buys coffees tomorrow. Sure. Yeah. If she doesn't release. The producers never drink coffees when we all get coffees. They're just like, no thanks. Yeah, I know.

It was every now and then Shannon's like, could I have a scone? Yeah. Okay. We're just worrying for your bank accounts, you know? We'll do treats. Okay, perfect. Treats of any kind.

A little wager. A little treat, maybe like an almond gold. To clarify, you know? We'll do treats. Okay, perfect. Treats of any kind. A little wager. A little treat, maybe like an almond gold. To clarify, it's an announcement or a release. If she says it's coming, that still counts for us. Sure, yeah. You're on. I don't know about that. See you tomorrow.

Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley. What were you originally meant to be called? Maybe they had another name planned for you. Like Fletch, Vaughn and Greer Rose. But you became Hayley Jane. Yeah, Mike, cause I was the second kid. My mum wanted Greer, Greer Rose.

And as in G-R-E-E-R, Greer. Greer Rose. And then like- It would've been bad if you came out with the- Greer Rose brow. Greer Rose. Greer Rose. Oh yeah. You gotta think about that with your name and kids. You can't have too many you come out with a. Grewo Sproul. Grewo's. Grewo's. Oh yeah.

You gotta think about that with your name and kids, you can't have too many of the sound. I've got. Grewo's Sproul. Grewo's Sproul. It'll be hard. And if you had a last one it would be Grewo's Sproul. Sproul, yeah.

And then my dad was like, no, he didn't like it. He's not a Greer. Yeah, and so mum chose Sam for my brother, so my dad was like, I'll jump in. And he got super original in 1989 and went with Hailey. Hailey Jane. No, then it was gonna be Hailey Rose, and then the woman next to my mom gave birth

to a Hailey Rose, and my mom was like, oh, she's gonna think I'm copying. So then just came Hailey Jane, which is so much lamer than Hailey Rose. Especially Jane with a Y. No, that's not lame, that's funky cool. That's 90s. That's funky cool. That's peak 80s, 90s.

I do think that's a bit trash. The Y in my Jane. It's like seeing a hairdresser with cuts in the title, but it's got a Z instead of an S. That's what the Y in my Jane is giving out. And you know that really famous blue and teal design that's really associated with the late 80s, early 90s, and it was like smeared down the side of a Suzuki Samurai or something.

Yes, yes. Jane with a Y. That's Jane with a Y. God damn it. What were you supposed to be called? Jared. Jared.. Yes, yes. Jane with a Y. That's Jane with a Y. Damn it. What were you supposed to be called? Jared. Jared. I know dude and I think it was gonna be the J-A-R-R-O-D as well. Oh the worst. The word that looks like a carrot. I couldn't imagine you as a Jared. Jared. A Jarrod. Flesh Jared and Graham. It wouldn't have worked. Nah. No it wouldn't have worked. I'd probably have to go with Jared. I'd probably have to go with going by Jazz. I don't think I was meant to be called anything else. Always Carl.

Yeah. Did you have a female alternative? Do you know? Carla. Carla or Carla? Easy. That's the switch out. I just think it's always such a tickle

cause then you think about like, oh my God, me as my identity, I'm Hailey. What if I was Greer Rose? And you know your friends as that name and then you imagine them as a Jarod. Yeah, your best name. Who's your best mate? I have friends that are called Jarod and it's not weird. No, no, no, cuz they're Jarod. They're Jarod. But you're Vaughn You're the most Vaughn Vaughn I know.

Yeah, but it's nice also having a name that I'm into. I tell you what Indy, my daughter Indy. Yeah Now when you go to a sports game, Netball of the netball at the weekend. It's modern day Haley. Dude, it's everywhere. It's Haley, Anna, Otis. At netball last night, it was just like, Andy, Andy, Andy Paz, Andy, every court had an Indy. Does it really make you feel like you really nailed that name?

Like with originality? Yeah, at the time we did. Yeah. Yeah. We called her Indiana. So give her the options. Yeah. She could go with Diana. She could be Anna. She could be Diana. She could be Indiana. So give her the options. Yeah. She could go with Diana.

She could be Anna. She could be Diana. She could be Indiana. She could be Indy. Anna. Or Indiana Jones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Indiana Jones.

Yeah, what an important... She's got to have heard that one. I'd go with that one. Indiana Jones. Okay, so this is what we want to know. 0800 DALSATM, tell us your name now and what you were meant to be called. Already some messages coming in.

Yeah. Sorry, Greer. Fletch, Jarrod, and Greer. I'm gonna go with JD. So my message for your name is Jarrod, J-A-R-O-D. You go with JD isn't it? JD, that's a great nickname. So we wanna know what you were meant to be called. Maybe add another name and then they change it

the last min. I think personally people have dodged some bullets here. Dude, like Bobby Joe. My mom wanted to call me Bobby Joe. Thank God my father had the sense to say that's a stupid name, call her Claire. Bobby Joe. Oh, okay.

Should be BJ. Should be, yeah. You should have been BJ. You cannot have the last name starting with J and give a boy or a girl a name starting with B unless you're trying to toughen up the old school way. Yeah, yeah. Boy name Sue sort school way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My name was going to be Lauren, but I got Marisa, which I like way more. Marisa? Mar- Mar- Ritsa. Oh, Maritsa. It's spelt Marissa. It's spelt Marissa, but they've said M-A-R- E-E-Z-A. Okay. Maritsa.

Maritsa. Yeah, but you just said like Marisa as if it was like Theresa, but with an M. Marisa. Marisa. Maritsa. Maritza. Yeah, but you just said it like Marisa as if it was like Theresa, but with an M. Marisa. Marisa. Maritza. Mother Marisa. Yeah, yeah, bless you Mother Marisa. It's the thing about this English language,

nothing makes sense. Yeah. My mum was tossing up between Tara and Kiara and ended up writing Kara accidentally, and here I am. Kara, okay. Oh, I have a friend, Anna, and she was supposed to be Anna, but the dad left out an N.

Kiara is such a cool name. Kiara. Kiara. Yeah. Like I'd have a Kiara and then meet her and she'd be a little white kid, they'd be like, oh. Yeah, yeah.

So my niece's name is Malika. Now you're expecting an African American, aren't you? You may. Well my nana's name was Letitia. Yeah, and I'm expecting a woman from, you know, the southern states of America. You've got a small Maori woman from Dagobah. Yeah.

My dad wanted to call me Flavour. Sorry. Thank the good Lord, I am Brooke. A classic 80s, 90s name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brooke. You can't go wrong. I was meant to be Bruce Daniel. Now that's not a good name for a girl.

So I had no name for 10 days and then an uncle visited and called me Charlie and that was my nickname for 16 years. My actual name is Sonia Elizabeth. Sonia Elizabeth, okay. I was meant to be Rihanna Mae, but I was born three months early so they went with Megan. Okay, also like you kind of dodged the famous name.

Rihanna Mae. Because imagine growing up as a Rihanna and then Rihanna comes along. Oh I know, and then you're like, no one cares about your Rihanna. Yeah. Because you've got Rihanna, Rihanna. My name's Jack, mum wanted to call me Bartholomew.

Thank God for grandad putting a start to that. Because you'd be Barth Simpson. You'd be Bart, Bart. Like Adolf Hitler ruined Adolfs and Hitler's for everybody. Bart Simpson, kind of put an end to that name. Yeah, it did. Mom wanted to call me Peter, like that animal organization and I'm a girl, but my initials would be PP.

So, I decided against it. Oh, PP. She did PP. Yeah, my brother was gonna be Beansprout, and everyone was like Beansprout. Beansprout. Oh yeah. I'm a twin with Grace and Claire.

That's lovely. Oh, that's lovely. Nice, Grace and Claire, classic. Standard boy, standard, but beautiful. Named as Clarity and Grace, you know, you could say. Yes. If we were boys, we were gonna be called Ian and Neil. Ew!

Same God you were. Oh, that's rough. Grace and Claire, Ian and Neil. I was actually called Charlene at birth. My mum woke up one morning when I was about six months old and decided she'd made a huge mistake and changed it legally to Charlotte. I'm very happy that she made that decision.

Oh my god, yes. It's not too late. It's a lifelong sentence, these names. I was born in the 80s. This is my story too. This is how I'm not Jared. I was born in the 80s and my parents were gonna name me Sandy, Jared, and then the nurse said she doesn't look like Sandy, Jared. She looks like a Jessica, Vaughan. And my dad's such an, you've met Annie, he's an outrageous flirt. Yes.

He, the nurse was like, she looks like a Vaughn and he was like, wow, he's good enough for me, love. Yeah, you look like my next wife. My mom's just like, yeah. Yeah, we agreed on Jared! Yeah. And dad's just flirting his way through the nursing staff. I was meant to be Ashley, but my dad-

And your mom's like, good luck, Ian. Good luck. That's what she says. You've seen, have you ever witnessed himself throw himself at Renee Wright in person? No. Where the girl, my dad's- No.

Or the lifelong crush on Renee. Yeah, he does. And he's met her a couple of times in real life and my mom just sits there and rolls her eyes and says, yeah, good luck to him. Good luck to him. Silly old bugger making a fool of himself as Ben said all the once.

Oh god. He's having a good time. He's having a great time. Having a great time. Imagine's having a great time. Having a great time. Imagine being such a non-threat that your wife let you flirt with whoever you want. Yeah. What a life.

And not being able to recognise it. Nah. It's just, yeah, great. I'm Jimma, but my name, my mum loved the name Buffy, pre-The Vampire Slayer. Oh no. I do love Buffy. Like as-

Do you? What is Buffy short for? Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. But again, the TV shows ruin that name forever. Buffy.

I like Duffy. Duffy sounds a bit like. Yeah. God, I feel a bit bloody Duffy today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're up to Duff as well. Yeah, Duffy. Buffy is most commonly a nickname rather than a formal name

and traditionally originated as a pet name for Elizabeth's Through a connection more playful than linguistic it's often used in US Da da da da da da. Okay. Buffy. So you know in Elizabeth rock her with a Buffy today Slap her with a Buffy. Slap her with a Buf Buf Play ZM's Fletch-Born and Hayley. Producer Shannon last time on Shannon's Hacks achieved the coveted five stars from all three of us, when she turned cream into butter. She's been searching for the five star hack.

She got it. And so she is owed a jingle. And it's coming. Hailey's working on it. I'm working on it, I'm working on it. She's been busy, she's been in the comedy festival. I have been, but also today we were craving a hack and we said, Shannon, get us a hack,

and she said said I got you Now what happens if it's a one star? Do we deduct the five into a four? No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no She loses. No, too cruel. She earned it fair and square. I think the people would revolt. Against us. Against us. I think the listeners were so happy that she finally. The working class would revolt against the bourgeoisie.

I think they would. I think they would. There'd be an uprising of Les Miserables. I think if you were to do that, we might need to find another break. I'm not that confident today. Oh no. Okay, hey, you back yourself. I would like to bank my intro and do a fresh hack today.

Okay, I see what she's doing here. Like who wants to be a millionaire? She's tapping out. Yeah, I'm banking and I'm moving on. Now, so are you saying you're not confident in this hack? I'm personally confident in it and it's something I would do, but I'm aware that sometimes

I'm a little bit different from you guys. Okay, because you need to remember that your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you ever wanted if you let them. Did you remember that yesterday? Because I didn't see you at the gym. You said you were coming. Oh, I actually...

Did you read that? I know you don't deal with women very often, but what you've just done there... No, my friend promised me she was coming to the gym with me and I was waiting like a, women say they wanna be held accountable, they don't wanna be held accountable. No, what I did was I hopped, I got on the couch. Yeah, this is what I thought.

Cause I looked at fine friends, I was like, she found the couch. She found the couch? What did you find? I did have a big night on Sunday. Yeah, you were running on three hours sleep. And I literally didn't bring my gym back, so I went home to get it.

I knew you weren't coming back. I wouldn't come back into town. I live miles away. But your excuses will. Destroy you and take everything you ever wanted. If you let them. And Shannon, I want you to believe that when you start to lose faith in this hack.

Okay, no, it's a good one, it's a good one. I would use this. Basically, you know how sometimes, like yesterday, Hayley, you were real tired. I was. In the middle of the day, you were real tired? I was. In the middle of the day, maybe a slight dust layer over yourself. I dust, there was dust.

Well, you were feeling dusty maybe. Or you could use this when traveling and your hotel room doesn't open until later in the afternoon. Oh my god. I hate that. I hate that. You fly early thinking I'm gonna make the most of my day. Yes.

And then you get there and you're like, I've got all these bags, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm tired, I don't know where to sleep. So I've got a hack that is gonna solve all of your issues. This is great, because we are often sleep deprived as a trio. Exactly. What I need you to do is head to your local mall

and find the cheapest. You've lost me already, I don't like going there. Find your local cinema and buy the cheapest movie. I don't like going there. Find your local cinema, and buy the cheapest ticket you can. They're all the same price aren't they? Yeah, just like not a 4D. But sometimes they might be cheaper during the day. Wait, a 4D movie?

So not only is it in three dimensions, it also traverses time. The chairs spit at you. And they sort of rock around. What kind of spit? I, like just water cannons. I think it's filtered water. Right, but does it make the sound? Well, it depends on the scene in the movie.

Oh, yeah, I meant to. Yeah. Sorry Shannon, carry on. So find a movie ticket. Yeah. And then park up in the back corner, chuck on your earpods or your sound-cancelling headphones. Just have a little snooze.

Nah, where do you put your suitcases? Just snooze. Nah, we're gonna see you. Where do you put your suitcases? Just next to you. No, you take them to the hotel. Most hotels will let you leave them there. Yeah, dump your bags. Not in the Airbnb though. Nah.

But this is, yeah, if you've got a time before your flight or if you're waiting for your hotel room or you've got a few hours in the middle of the day, just head to your local cinema and have a little snooze. But I'm still sleeping in a chair. I mean, unless you've got to go to a day, I mean, you could get a day bed. Go to the day bed one and just have a sleep.

Yeah. Okay, so here I'm going to my local one, Westgate double day bed. If I want one of those. Have they got double day beds there now? Just in the front, there's four of them. Oh, Westgate. Proceed.

Well, so the other thing is you want to sleep, but if you're going to a movie, like if it's a war movie, you're not sleeping through that. Guys. You're not sleeping through any movie. That's why she said AirPods. Yeah, get some AirPods. It's half price, double day bed, Tuesdays at the Westgate Event Cinema.

So that would cost me $28 to have a full day bed, but I am asleep in front of a room full of strangers. Yeah, but they can't see you. That's the same as hooking up with someone. It's just like it doesn't count. We can see you. Do you know what I mean? We can hear you.

I'm specifically looking. Homme, homme, homme. Also to the person who just texts saying they can tell they don't have lounge access, I do think very much. She's gold elite. Yeah, she's actually. I'm not high.

She's the highest. No. She's a nepo gold elite. She's nepo elite. And I've got an issue with this. She hasn't earned it herself. Well, I'm the highest ranked here, so. She's actually Neppo gold elite. And I've got an issue with this. She hasn't earned it herself. Well, I'm the highest ranked here. She's actually highest ranked.

Neppo or not? I've dropped a gold. I've dropped a gold. Neppo or not? We've got us actually standing. Wait, so actually, Vaughn is a Jade. So it goes Vaughn Jade. Oh, I know my place.

I know my ranking. I know I'm at the bottom of the pile. Are you an Airpoints Jade? I assume so. Yeah, she's a Jade. She's got big Jade. And then me in silver, you in gold. And it is Shannon in elite.

It's just, it's like she hasn't earned it though. I know, she was gifted it. Her boyfriend is it. It doesn't matter, god damn it, we're in the military and we salute our seniors. Thank you. Now will you salute this hack? I don't mind it.

I don't mind it. I don't mind it. It would be nice if you were super tired and you're like, Matt, I just need to be in some comfort. But I'm going, I have to go to a nice one and that's gonna cost you like 40, 50 bucks. There are websites for day use hotels and you can select the time.

How do you know that? It's not, it's not. Do you have your book, you booked a couple of hotels by the hour there boss. It's not a dirty thing. It's not a dirty thing. But it can be, what you're saying is it can be. It feels like it is it can be.

It can be. Why are you being so defensive? Why are you being so defensive? It feels like people that have affairs. Whoa, calm down. Whoa, whoa. If you arrive in a city at like 5 AM or whatever, you can, there are like certain,

you can select the time that you're gonna be in the city and search for a hotel. Just have a drink, have a drink mate, you're drying the mouth. Yeah. Yeah, you're stumbling. This city and search for a hotel. Just have a drink, have a drink, mate. You're drying the mouth. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's stumbling. This is a dodgy thing. It's not a dodgy.

It's not a dodgy. It was like a juice in it. It was on Shark Tank. It was on Shark Tank. Oh, everything's on Shark Tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that up there. This is going, guys.

Absolutely unbelievable. I admire it. I'm gonna go two and a half stars. Yeah, I'll give you two. I'll go two. Yay, thank'm gonna go two and a half stars. Yeah, I'll give you two. Yeah, I'll go two. Yay, thank you. Not bad. Not bad.

Not bad. Intro's still on the cards. Yes. Play ZM's Fletch Fawn and Hayley. As you know, Lord's got new music, bebe. So her album Virgin is out on the 27th of June. Don't we get a new song on Friday? It's the 27th today of May, so in a month.

Are we getting a new song on Friday, did you think? I thought she said there's a song coming on Friday? It's the 27th today of May, so in a month. Are we getting a new song on Friday? I thought she said there's a song coming on Friday and it was her favourite song. After What Was That? Yes. Yeah, right. Another song before the album comes out for sure. Well, she's been jumping around

because you know, she was at the Met and then she was in New York, she was at the Met. She was seen atop the pyramids. The Great Pyramids. She was on top of the pyramids. She was on top of the pyramids. Yeah, she was flying a biplane in the Red Bull. I don't think I saw that. She was in the Met. She was seen atop the pyramids. The Great Pyramids. She was on top of the pyramids. Yeah. She was flying a biplane in the Red Bull.

I don't think I saw that. She was in the Red Bull competition where they fly the plane through the thing. I do. Who do you think's got bags? How many Red Bull things, because they always play the Red Bull stuff at the gym. How much?

I love every single one of them. I've never seen a Red Bull event that I haven't liked. Every time I watch them, I'm like, crash, crash, crash. Oh, no. I want them to clip the fluffy thing. Yeah, guy in the wingsuit you're like hit the mountain. No! Just hit the mountain. No no no. I never wish bad on the squirrel men. I want them to get through the hole in the wingsuit. Or the platform divers. You're just like oh my god belly, belly flop. No, don't.

They'll blow themselves to pieces. I never wish bad on a Red Bull athlete. She loved the guy that jumped from the edge of space. I was like, we're live streaming this. It was horrible. Any time all freighters. So much could go wrong. Implode.

I hate it. Implode. You're dark, man. Good. You're dark. Lorde was not at a Red Bull event. She popped up in Sydney at a Lord themed club night at Mary's Underground Club.

And she looks like she's having a great time. Oh, she's had a voice. Well, she knows all the words. So she knows a bit of the song. How good does it feel when you're in the clubs and your song comes on that you know all the words to and you can dance and sing flawlessly? Do you remember when Justin Bieber turned up

and he couldn't remember the words to Despacito? He would turn up to a nightclub and Despacito played and he got up on the mic and was like, Despacito, shamanamanamanamanamanamacito. That's how we all sang it. In his defence, it was Spanish. Yeah, but it's also your song. You know what I mean, like give it a learn.

So yeah, she was like singing and partying with everyone at the Sydney nightclub. Do you think this was set up or she like crashed it? I don't know, it was just kind of a, it was like public knowledge that this event was happening on Sunday night, by the way. Now I went out on Sunday. You did.

But that's a rare occasion. This nightclub threw this party on Sunday night and maybe she just saw it was in Sydney, was like, how's the L? Just make everyone's night. I saw some stories that looked amazing. Oh yeah. They were like right up close.

She was like fully dancing with everybody. Yeah, and the DJ was like, oh my God, Lord crashed my party. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, my Lord party. Lord crashed a Lord party. You'll be beside yourself. She's had a good bloody sing. Yeah, I think she stayed for a while

and like hugged fans and sung along and had her vibe. Play ZM's Fleshbone and Haley. Fleshbone and Haley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Wow. Silly little pole, do you like sending slash receiving voice notes? Love.

Easy way to have a phone conversation on your own time. With good friends. I think it's a good friends thing. Yeah. Yeah, cause you often just have so much to say that you're like, why would I write it? I'm just gonna say it. Hey guys, oh my god.

And voice and text is getting so much better, but it's not there yet. No. And then you've got to go through and everyone with a blue squiggly line underneath, you've got to be like, no, that's not what I said. It doesn't really get the new cell on that accent. It doesn't. Oh my god. It's getting better. So when I was writing my show this year, that's how I would do it.

And I used this thing called something script, something script. And I uploaded all my voice memos from like improvising jokes and stuff. It was a shambles. Oh yeah, terrible. Like complete waste of time. Descript is what I used. Well, do you like sending or receiving voice notes?

No, just pips. Yes. Oh, okay. 53% of people do not like sending or receiving voice notes and 47% of people do. Is it because receiving voice notes and 47% of people do. Is it because people don't like the sound of their own voice? Yeah, 100% is. Like we, because of our jobs, we're used to our voices.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love my voice. But I was gonna say, we're used to our voices, you love yours. Yeah, yeah. Have you heard it? I just tolerated it. It's literally incredible. Yes.

Someone actually messaged in on the text machine saying, yes, I like voice notes. It's more efficient and better at getting across points. I like that you can also speed them up because everybody's got a friend that speaks so clearly and slowly, you can put them on two times speed and it just sounds like they're having a normal conversation. I go 1.5, that's pretty good.

I hate that, so stressful. What, speeding it up? Yeah. But what about that friend that enunciates and talks slowly and you can two point them and it's just like, yes. And thanks to 1.25, because I'll do an an audiobook on like a 1.2, 1.3 Yeah I'll do podcasts on 1.2

No! Samantha says under 20 seconds all good over that too much info to remember what they said No but it's better than typing it all out I've never sent a voice note that's under 20 seconds I'm gonna look in our chat and see what the last ones were. It was long. Becca says, I don't like them. We have a bridesmaids group chat

where everyone keeps sending voice notes. Makes it super difficult when you need to go back and find specific information. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Yeah. I've gotta ask you, so your last one, Vaughan, was a minute seven. That's short for me.

Yeah, should I play it? No. Oh, okay. I don't think so. Hailey's face. Never. I was to be honest when you said I'm gonna look at the length of the last one, I was like,

just make sure you never is it? Is your phone on mute? Is it recording right now? Ishna says, don't be lazy and type it. Ishna, I'm a busy man. I'm a busy man. I'll press record while I'm driving and just pretty much podcast my entire drive home.

Sent him to my pals. Can fit more goss in a voice note and the tone is clear said Sarah. That's a good point. There's no misunderstanding of tone. Which is massive. Marie says, cause if you're in a public place you have to wait to listen to them if you don't have your headphones. That's a thing. If you're in a meeting or at work.

Sometimes. Same. I was holding my, I was walking. I put the volume down and I put it straight to my ear. I walk around with it right on the ear. And you were wharring on for about four minutes yesterday. Oh, this is the whole way home listening to you. Do do do do do do. Wharring on? You mean wharring?

Oh sorry, entertaining me. Entertaining me, yeah. Oh yeah. Sophie said, I can really express my vibes. Yeah, in a voice not yeah she is she's doing it for the vibes Jodie voice notes piss me off like who do you think you are that I now have to get my headphones because we know that should that shit ain't work friendly listen to you at normal speed not have the ability to skim it screams I'm more important than your time hate it get out of here voice notes if you want to leave a

voice message ring my landline. Okay, grandma. Grandma? Hey, Jodie, you're making yourself sound like a grandma over there. Amy said, I need to be multitasking at all times, so listening or sending a voice note whilst doing other things is ideal. Also, I love hearing my friends' voices, especially those that live back home

and in other countries to me. Yeah, okay. That's nice. It's your girl, Ally, says, receiving, yes, I love them. Sending, no, I don't like the sound of my own voice. But you don't listen back to it. You send it and it's done. You record it and you send it and then you're like. Ha ha ha ha.

Dana said, I prefer them when having a decent conversation because I feel like a phone call puts you on the spot and I can respond when I'm free. Yeah. That's very cool too. Well there we go. Love my hatinn. They had a stay baby voice note! Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Well apparently according to a new biography on Queen frontman Freddie Mercury the

man the myth legend, he had a daughter this whole entire time. Now I've learned this as a fan because everyone assumed he was the legend, he had a daughter this whole entire time. Now, I've learned this as a fan because everyone assumed he was just gay, but he had a long time girlfriend, Mary Austin, and was always very like, he was the love of her life. No, she was the love of his life, but are you also like, shagging around? The world has just found out that he had a kid who is-

48 years ago. An adult. Yes, 48 year old woman living in Europe. She said, Freddy Mercury was and is my father. We had a very close and loving relationship from the moment I was born and throughout the final 15 years of his life. He adored me, was devoted to me,

visited home all the time, never detracted from his commitment to love and look after me, cherished me like a treasure possession. Apparently, Freddy had an affair with a friend's wife. And this is only coming out because there's a book, right? So this is publicity? There's a book, but there's a lot of Queen historians

saying that it's valid and had no word from Brian May and Roger Taylor yet. They haven't gone, yes, we were aware of this the whole time. The rest of the band. Anyway, that aside, we want to know this morning, if you are a secret love child. Yes. And I, because people are finding this out

if they didn't know, because of like the ancestry test, right? The spinotube, send it away. Yeah. You get your results back and you're like, oh, interesting, not my parents. Not my dad. Or half my parents.

Yeah. Who's this other part of the family tree? Or maybe it is something you've actually always known. You know, that you're like, oh, yeah, this man popped into town and visited my mother and off he went. And it was a secret. Especially, I mean, maybe even for like our older listeners that when it was a bit hush hush when the mothers would get

pregnant out of wedlock. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And get sent away to have the baby and then come back. Whereas now that doesn't happen. Or scandalously get married real quick and then a baby arrives six months later and they're like, look, I know it's big,

but it's premature. Yeah, this is so premature, this baby. But it's massive. Yeah. Or maybe your dad was a touring sports person. Very true. Or maybe your grandma took a fancy to some visiting American troops during World War II

when all the other, I don't know why we sent all of our lads away and then just led the Americans. And then her husband came back and survived the war. She's like, did not expect that from you Terry. Yeah Terry, you had no fight in there before you left. Didn't expect you to come back Terry. Terry had borderline flat feet Terry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, God used to puff mowing the lawn. What's this, borderline flat feet, Terry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God, he's the puff mowing the lawn. What's this? The Victoria Cross.

Jesus, Terry. By the way, your letters got me pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't ask how. Don't ask how, Terry. We're having a baby. Yeah, what? Yes, it's yours.

Why is it black? Don't ask questions. Ah, Terry. Everything's different. Where were you when you wrote me those letters? Yeah. Northern Africa, duh. Come on, Terry. I could be African through it. Everything's different. Where were you when you wrote me those letters? Yeah. Northern Africa, duh. Come on, Terry.

I could be African through it. Do not read the book. It was a bit thick, Terry. Hence why she never thought he was coming back. Bloody war hero guy. War hero saved the day with his name. And we thank him for his service. As always.

As a doorknob. Remember, Terry. So we want to know, has this happened to you or someone you know, are you a secret love child? Like, were you a secret? Yeah. Whether you knew about it or some people didn't. Or it was revealed to you?

0800 dials that Emma's the number. Give us a call, you can text her as well, 9696. Are you a secret love child? We wanna know if you are a secret love child. Man, there are some stories coming through. Freddie Mercury's had a daughter this whole time. Everyone's like. No one knew.

Oh, really? Yeah, really? And we're hearing some great stories. You said from someone, they didn't want to talk on air, but they just found out like three months ago that their dad isn't their dad, and mum had an affair.

I know. Crazy. Dumb dumb. Wah wah wah wah. Like your whole world is a lie. Yeah. Kind of. I mean, if that man has raised you, they're still your dad, but like, yeah, rock your world.

And then did the dad know? I don't know. Who you thought was your dad? I've got my dad's eyebrows. Did he know? Yeah. So that's how I know. Dry skin and eyebrows.

Anonymous has joined us. Anonymous, good morning. Are you a secret love child? Yes. Are you? Tell us the story. So I'm adopted. I've always known that I'm adopted.

Yeah. But supposedly my teenage birth mother had an affair with her married boss who had children and he supposedly doesn't know about me however I was born down south in the 80s so surely it's got to be a bit of a scandal when a teenager has a baby so you know but I have never tried to find any contact or etc. Do you know who he is? I know a name, but his name is kind of like a famous name.

So if I Google it, I just end up with famous people. And he's not the famous one? And he's not the famous one? No, no, no. This is a job for David Lomas. Yeah, it's No, no. You know who this is a job for? David Lomas. Yeah. It's a connecting thing. No, I've tried that a couple of times, but I don't think mine's as scandalous as David Lomas' wants.

No, you need to re- Yeah, you need to spice it up. You need to juice it up with a little bit of salt. Wow. So you've never been tempted to just like do a drive-by of his work or his home, just to see what he looks like? Oh, I don't, I have no idea where he is, whether he's still down south or anything like that.

So, not really. Okay, interesting. Cause some people would probably just go to the ends of the earth to find them. Just to look at them and be like, wow, you. I look, I may do if I need a kidney or something in the future, but no. Okay.

No, no, no. You might not even be aware of me. But I need your kidney. But I need a kidney or something in the future. But no, I'm okay. Yeah, yeah. Knock, knock, knock. You might not even be aware of me. But I need your kidney. But I need to raise me. Yeah, it's a kidney. I'm gonna need that left one, dude. Anonymous, thank you. Some messages in.

I found out through Ancestry.com. Yes. I've recently connected with my biological father and my half siblings. The poor guy did not know, he had no idea, and he was so shook when I first met him. Wow. He would be the way. Like, you would have forgotten about it. Yeah. The blinks, the poor guy did not know, he had no idea and he was so shook when I first met you. Wow.

You would be the way, like you would have forgotten about it. Yeah, well you just, I mean, I mean it can't happen the other way around. I'd be very aware that I was having a child. Yeah. But I think about some of the hookups, you know? I'm not remembering them. I'm actually just gonna check Ancestry.com now

to see if I, because I lost all my Swedish. Sure, I know. I'm not Swedish anymore. I'm not just a wolf of white bread anymore I'm a dollar. I'm a dollar life. Yeah No, I'm not a tip-top brand you want to know those posh ones with grain yeah Very bogus because my table has been here for a long time. Yeah. In New Zealand? Yeah. Not as long as others.

Not as long as Europe. Oh no, certainly not. I'm 10% Denmark. That's posh, eh? That's quite posh. That's pretty good. 1% Dutch. 1% Dutch.

1% Dutch. That'll explain the wooden shoes. He's obsessed with wooden shoes. And how he would just sit and look at a windmill for hours. Yeah, and just be like, wow, I feel so drawn to that. My grandparents migrated on a boat from Italy to Australia. My nonna got on the boat fine, came off pregnant. My nonna was not on that boat.

Some of those sailors, eh? He caught an earlier boat. Also, my dad. Have you seen the America's Cup? Like, hello? Yeah, when they're takin' and jivin'. Yeah. My dad never knew that he was a secret baby.

My auntie found out in an ancestry kit, she tried to find the boat log to see who my nonna got off with, see if we could find some. Oh, look at that. There's an auntie, hey, that gets in on a family tree. God, that's a long one. Hayley, would you mind pre-reading 596 while I continue with some of the shorter?

Absolutely. I found out that my mom has another sister over in Ireland that none of us knew about. That would have been straight Catholic or really just like out of wedlock kind of deal? My stepmums adopted her adoptive parents couldn't have kids. A woman has got in touch as the child of the adoptive father. Oh, okay. So that's a bit of a secret there. Oh my god.

Is that the long one? Yeah. Oh, the adoptive father. Oh, okay. So that's a bit of a secret there. Oh my God. Is that the long one? Yeah. It's a lot, hey, I read the first two lines and was like. So my mum is one of seven kids and when she was 17, she found out that my granddad may not actually be her dad. Turns out that my nan, so my mum's mum, had started seeing my granddad

while she was still married to somebody else and convinced her partner or husband at the time to let my grandad move in as a lodger and they continued their affair. Are you keeping up? Yeah. And then he found out and then went to jail for trying to murder my mum and their entire family.

Wow. So grandad went to jail because I was the lodger. No, the original husband tried to kill them all. He tried to guess, he died in jail. My mum never did a test to find out whether or not it was my granddad or the other guy, because for her it didn't change anything. He was her dad, but I was very surprised

when I was about 17 or 18 and found this all out and could potentially that be that I'm the grand- How much lodging was he paying? Wow, yeah, what's his board? Is he chipping in for groceries and stuff? Back in that day, I don't know, like 20 bucks. But also, I assumed the story was going to end with the granddad not caring because to him it was less embarrassing.

This guy was around because he was the lodger and if people asked any questions he'd be like, oh yeah, that's a lodger. Yeah, right, right. And he's, you know, given my wife the roger. No, no, he tried to kill them all. Yeah, no, that's significant. What a scandalous family history. More messages in, are you a secret love channel?

Found out last month my mom had a baby as an unwed mother. It was taken off her and adopted out. It's been a family secret for 65 years. Mom's no longer with us. So we're going blind trying to find the baby. Oh my gosh. Yeah, well it's not a baby anymore. It's probably an adult. Human being. Adult, adult, adult. If you've been looking for a baby, that, it's not a baby anymore. It's probably probably an adult

Looking for a baby that's where you've been going wrong. Yeah. Yeah, they grow up My mom was a secret love child my nan found out he was Found out he was married with kids when she was in hospital with a prolapse placenta and thinking she was about to lose the baby Oh my gosh, I'm only just reached out and met her actual father, his other secret love children too, that Mum found out through Ancestry.com. We've got a player in our hands. Yeah, how cool would it be finding your birth dad if you were a secret love child

and he's like a bajillionaire? I know, and then he's like, oh my God, I'm so happy that you're in my life. I'm like, me too. Child I never had. Me too. Mercedes. Mum got with Dad and Oz, did you read that?

No. He had a wife and 14 year old son. She came back to New Zealand to have me, 35 years old. I've never met my dad, but I did find my older brother through Facebook. Oh wow. Yeah. My partner is a 70s scandal.

Message request. Hey, I'm your brother, or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scam. Oh, producer Jared had that situation. Yeah, I know. He messaged that guy, he's like, I think we're related. And they were brothers.

And they were half brothers. Wild. Far out. My partner is a 70s scandal. His mother slept with her best friend's fiance. His mother slept with her best friend's fiance. Even proceeded to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. Partners tried to reach out to his father 45 years later

and the guy doesn't want a bar of it. Aw. My granddad was actually a convicted bigamist over in the, bigamistist over in the bigamist. Yeah. A polygamist. No bigot. No bigot is not the right word. Bigamist? Someone who marries another person. A bigamist is a person who commits the crime of bigamy which is marrying another person while already legally married to someone else. But a polygamist is someone doing it legally under different set of laws right?

Grandad's actually the convicted bigamist in the UK. The other sister was born about a week before he left Ireland. The IRA told him to leave and not come back. I mean, if the IRA are telling you to leave, you're probably going to listen. The sister's granddaughter found me through ancestry.com. Wow.

I'm an archivist. This is my job. My grandfather was a ship jumper. Um, he'd left a wife and two kids in the U S married another woman on arrival in New Zealand. Once she died at 75, he married a 27 year old. I'm one sees someone. My movies are so exciting. My birth mom had an affair with a married man. I was adopted out. And since no half birth mom's family

and my bio dad knows about me. Oh, my biological dad does know about me, but his wife and family have no idea. So he's keeping it a secret. This one's still a secret. Wow. Both my mom and dad have multiple children to different partners.

My little brother and I are supposed to be full siblings, however my brother looks nothing like me, and he looks identical to my half brother and my sister on my mum's side. I, however, look like my cousin. And if you were to put a picture of me next to my cousin, you would say that we're brother and sister. Looking at my dad's children, I do not resemble them at all.

I've never bothered with DNA testing or anything like that because I honestly don't care. It is something that has been brought to my attention on several occasions and brought to my attention a lot growing up since me and my brother looked nothing alike but I look like my cousin. Honestly, I wouldn't care what it costs. I would get the entire family and answer And then no once and for all

There's a family train more of a bloody family wisteria vine. It's yeah Fact of the day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Today's theme, fact of the day is things that are named after a place, a geographical location, and what they're called in that location, because they're not all called the same thing. For example, I'll kick it off with Roman blinds today, in furniture and chattels day. Furniture and chattels day.

Okay, great. Furniture and chattels day. Because blinds aren't furniture, but they will be listed on your chattels. Okay, great. Furniture and chattels, yeah. Because blinds aren't furniture, but they will be listed on your chattels. They will be. Unless you disclose that you will be taking the curtains. You will be taking the curtains. Yes.

They will make great grandmothers. In the list of chattels. Yes. So, Roman blinds. What do you think they're called? Just blinds. Blinds, curtains, no. Are Roman blinds the slat ones?

Those are Venetian. Those are Venetian. Venetian blinds, yuck. Roman blinds are the ones I've got over my stian. Those are Venetian Venetian blinds. Yuck The ones I've got over my Chole them out at the corners because they always just get rid of they don't fold up probably Yeah, you got to like flatten them. Yeah, you've got like four lines of string and they all get an uneven Yeah, that's Venetians Venetians have more blinds of string. Roman blinds can do that too. They do have strings.

Mine's got two. But the Venetians have got the rod for the twist to open it up. Yeah, I don't like those. Okay, and then you gotta get a special duster. What a nightmare. So Roman blinds, outside of Italy, of course they're called Roman blinds,

but in Italy they are called packet blinds or pleated blinds. Pleated. No one calls them Roman blinds. Pleated blind. It'd be embarrassing, wouldn't it? Then they beg. What?

Then they beg. Pleated, pleated blinds. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it feels wrong. Feels wrong. That's beggar blinds. The Ottoman. Oh yeah. The Ottoman Empire.

Yeah, you can't say that. Yeah, you can. You can put your foot up on a poof. Wow. Wow. Wow, he said poof and Ottoman in the same break. I mean that's just, Ottoman or the footstool or the poof.

How do you get them to stay there the whole time? Oh yeah, they do it when they're told, they do it when they're told when Big Daddy's got his feet on them. You give them schnacks. You give them some schnacks. Yeah. I say to them, I will remind you, little twink,

I'm the deer here. Yeah. And Daddy wants his feet snacks. Yeah. I say to them, I will remind you, little twink, I'm the bear here. Yeah. Watch out. Daddy wants his feet up. Okay. Ottoman, outside of Turkey, you know, the low upholstered seat or footrest or poof, often with a storage inside.

Yeah. A plop up lid, you can call them an Ottoman. In Turkey, they're called a poof. Aren't they? They're called a poof. P-U-F, poof. I don't say that, called a poof. P-U-F. Poof. Or a safer. Depending on their function.

The term Ottoman abroad references the empire, not the word that they call themselves. So it was a sort of a furniture piece from the Ottoman Empire. And when it went outside of the Ottoman Empire, that's what they call them there. The Persian Rug! In Iran and Iraq. Not surprisingly called the Persian Rug. Oh, yeah, and I run in Iraq not surprisingly called the Persian rug Somebody called a farsh. Okay, if I are a farsh right a Japanese screen in Japan, you know the folding like rice papers Yeah, the paper screens there you might have up for just a little bit of privacy or a puppet show

Yes, or she's my shadow. Maybe you go behind the thing and there's a lamp behind you and you do a sexy strip tease for a loved one. They're simply called a folding or a poof. You do it for a poof. No, the poof's not allowed to watch me strip. Sorry, Cary. I watch the poof strip. Get behind that screen and strip for me, poof.

Come on, poof. Big Daddy Bear says so, hoi hoi. So they simply call them a folding screen, or if they're sliding, they just call them the sliding door. Oh, right. A Japanese screen at all. The Barcelona chair, which is apparently from a, name that because of an international,

are you Googling what they look like? I've just never heard of it. A Barcelona chair. Oh yeah, we know those. Black leather, kind of mid-century looking things with studs in them. Yes. Uncomfortable to sit in.

Silver legs, not great, so you slip off them. You wouldn't want one, yeah. Designed for the 1929 International Exposition in Barcelona. But only called that everywhere else because that's where everybody saw it, otherwise it's just kind of known as a chair. A chair to them.

Yeah. So, I'm not gonna say that one, that's probably got racist origins. I just actually, I wrote it down and I was like, man, that's interesting, but now I'm reading it back and I'm like, oh no, that feels like it definitely had a sort of a racist origin. Jordan, you for censorship on the flying vaunt.

He did say poof and ottoman in the same brag. Yeah, I did. Yeah. That's okay. So today's fact of the day is that lots of furniture and chattels are named after geographical locations but aren't actually called that there. Fact of the day day day day day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Why are we doing this? Why are we asking this? But the thing now is we're not asking a group of people.

Yeah, cause Hot or Not was a website, well, I want to say early 2000s. Yes. And Facebook was actually started by- Like that. Like that, by Mark Zuckerberg. You just rated- The book of faces.

Yeah. And you rated them. You rated students. It was a college thing. Yeah, totally. And then it became Facebook and what it is now. So we talked about this a couple of weeks ago that we went, people were using chat GPT,

uploading a photo of themselves and then saying, how would you improve my appearance? And how would you do my makeup? And it was a little subtle thing saying, you're gorgeous, but maybe I would look at wearing more blues because it would reflect your skin and maybe a light tinted moisturiser would help you really glow

and that kind of stuff, it was being very polite. However, people are now just asking it, oi, am I hot? Give me a rating out of 10. And be brutally honest. And be brutally honest. And one person said, I would put, that one person asked,

where would you put me on a sliding scale of hotness from one being the least and 10 being the most? And they said, five. Now. Because hot or not, back in the day, the website, you uploaded a photo of yourself, and then people clicked through. It was just like a carousel, and you'd just be like, hot.

Not, hot, not, hot, not, hot, not. So people would be voting on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole internet, whereas this is just chat. And then it would rate you basically like, how many people out of 10 said you were hot or not. So people would be voting on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole internet, whereas this is just chat. And then it would rate you basically like how many people out of 10 said you were hot. Yeah. Yeah. And then what if I'm being-

I never did it. I never did it. And then you'd be like, that's not right, I need a bit of photo, and then it just turns out you were a minger. Well I think people like the fact- Maybe you've grown into yourself for 25 years or so.

Aw. I think people like the fact that chat GPT doesn't, will hopefully lose its politeness. Because as a human being, I'm not gonna sit there and write no to your face. Whereas on here, they're hoping it'll work. Now I've seen some photos. You've done Fletch Dirty on the photo you picked.

Why? He put it up on his Instagram. You sent through the picture of you, a professional photo from the gala. She sent through her at the gala where she famously won Best Tress. Oh get out. Well I had a spray tan on and a professional hair and makeup and I was wearing an awesome outfit

and it's a professional photograph. Yeah so you've been, like that's misleading. It's not misleading. That's how I look every day. It's not your natural state. It's not your natural state. Well that was the soonest quickest photo I could find. Do you know what?

I've lost god damn it. I've done all of us. I've come out the bottom. Oh god. I've got to find a better photo. But you've got abs. Put up the one of you and your abs I don't chat you just getting my nudes

Imagine that chat GPT rape my naked body absolutely not oh my god So what's happened you put it okay, so I put up the photo of a photo of me on the horse Yeah, I can't see your face on no and that's what it said? You've put it... Okay, so I put up the photo of a photo of me on the horse. Yeah. But you can't see your face on that. No, and that's what it said. Yeah. And it gave me... By the way, it thought for 35 seconds, you guys that kind of did it immediately,

it really had to be like, how am I gonna bring this to him? Oh, you did a shot. It was chat cheap, AI was zooming in. Yeah, being like... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, horse photos that you put up. You've got a lot of attention. Right. So you must be feeling good about it. No one liked it as much as I did.

It's not bad. No one liked the photo as much as I did. Not a single person. I've used chat GPT too much in the last 24 hours. Oh, so you're gonna have to stay ugly. You have to stay ugly. Okay, not ugly because this is what it said. It's a photo of me on the horse.

And it said, I give this shot a solid eight out of 10. Oh, okay. Why so high? Strong Western vibe, the wybroom hat, shearling lined denim jacket. Shearling. Shearling, how does it know that? And well kept tact, referring to the saddle,

feels intentional rather than a costume. But I feel like it's critiquing the photo. I want it to be like, no, what about my minging face? Confident posture, great sitting in like, tweaks that they would make, cropping a bit off the empty sky and turning the head so we can see more of the head. Nah, it's editing the photo.

Now, this is what it said, I put up the photo that Hailey sent me that was taken by a professional when you were doing your comedy fest. You're easily pulling a nine out of 10 in the shot. Thank you. Why it works so well. Stage presence, you're clearly owning that mic

with charisma, the confidence and warmth in your expression and magnetic. Bold presence, you're clearly owning that mic with charisma, the confidence and warmth in your expression and magnetic. Bold fashion, the pink and black fringes, playful and commanding, very Dolly meets Diva. Details matter, the star crown, how does it know everything in the photo? Yeah, it does.

The star crown adds whimsy and polish, catching the light, lighting and setting perfect. Why, to hit a perfect 10, maybe just a slightly more dynamic pose or a full body stance to show off the full outfit and the stance power. I sort of want it to be like honky nose, you know what I mean?

You want some actual critiques. Great eyelashes, thin lips, tips, get some filler in those things. So you're a nine, but the photo's a nine or you're a nine? Wait, so I'm a nine. Go do Fletch. Fletch is an eight and a half out of 10.

Yes! It's a photo of you on a boat, I assume on a recent vacation to the Southern Americas. Yes, yeah, in Chile actually. In Chile, yeah, yeah, okay. So it says you get eight and a half. I will say it was a.5 photo to have fit in the mountains. At length in the legs.

Yeah. Genuine smile, you look completely in your element, which makes the whole image inviting an upbeat. There you go. Our backdrop goals, the insane turquoise water and jagged paths in the background, unreal. I don't care about that stuff. Ask us to be more brutal about our faces.

Outfit and fit. Simple, athletic and functional is what works here. The smartwatch and the boots say ready for action. Well, I was literally hiking. It was the end of my hike. Natural lighting. It's bright, maybe even slightly overexposed, but that's because Hayley took a screencap.

I did a screenshot, so you just stuffed it. A touch of shadow control would help balance the exposure, maybe reposition the fire extinguisher, unless it's part of your safety features. There's a fire extinguisher! Yeah, it was part of the boat. It was like literally, because I'm sitting on the railing of the boat.

It knows everything. Wait, so I'm an 8.5. And I'm a nine. Wow. Far out, man. I thought I was a 7.2, as I mentioned in my new show, I'm a 7.2, but I'm a nine. How long did it take you to look like a nine

versus the 7.2? It was a two and a half hour prep. Gotcha. And everything about me, the lashes are fake, the tan is fake, the hair is fake. I reckon doing one more hour, you could get up to like a 10. I'm gonna hit Shari with this, who did my hair and makeup, and be like, you failed.

It's actually got nothing to do with her. As you'll remember, the critique was, a slightly more dynamic pose or a full body stance. That's on you. Yeah. Put my hands up next time. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Okay, private messages away please Hayley. Okay.

She likes that. It's not even nine o'clock, hey, it's wild. It's wild. You're being marvelly. Anyway, shush, shush, shush. Sorry. Got a show to do. Shush, shush, shush. It's almost done.

Now, guys, I have to turn her microphone off. I need to concentrate. So this weekend, we're going to Melbourne. Fletch and I are going to Melbourne. Lovers. Long weekend. Lovers. Please don't start rumours. Lovers. Yeah, you know what? We went on a date to Wellington and we went for a walk and we were in love and now we're going on a little romantic... Holloway? Holloway? Holloway. Well now I'm stumbling because I know. Now you're stumbling because people know. People know about our love affair, all of them. Anyway, so.

Gross, who grossed no offence? You would be so lucky. I know you would be lucky. I'm literally a nine. I'm literally a nine. Yeah, chat, chat GPT. You're an eight and a half though. You're an eight and a half.

Well, meagre eight over here. Yeah, but then she had a lot of makeup in the clothes, remember. Yeah, that's right. So I personally think she's a 7.6. So, no, I call myself a 7.2, so I'll take some 0.6. I thought you were being harsh on yourself. Yeah, well thank you.

Oh, you two still being lovers. I know. Flirting. Oh my god, the flirting. Oh my god, it's so much. Anyway, listen, I just downloaded the Qantas app, because I don't usually fly Qantas, but we are flying Qantas. And I, Fletch was like,

Oh God, what have you done? What have I done? Oh my God, what have I done? Wait, what? So Fletch, who is the number one flight booker guy. What's happening? Who I turned to. I say, I say, I'm on this flight,

and he'll be like, that's it. He'll know exactly what, see, he'll know what plane it is before he's like. No, I'm like a baby, I don't want big flight, so I go to Fletch, can you book my flight? You book this all through. Oh my god, please tell me it's the right date. I go, um, add booking,

put in the reference code, put in my last name, no booking. Oh no, is it spelt wrong? Oh, I don't know, but I hope Haley Spool has a nice trip to. Oh, Fletch. You forgot the R. Oh, I don't know, but I hope Haley spool has a nice trip I was like, okay, where's the code five data data data data SPR. Oh you LL no reference

No, it's full. I got in you put my correct email. So all the flights been sent to me, but it's H a y le y LL oh no, it's not gonna match my passport bro. So when you're... F-ing hell. And I've had this before when I've traveled overseas and I've got there and they left the Y out of my Jane which we agreed is trash. It's trash. Yeah well that's trash. Again. It was the 90s. Oh my god Hayley. S-P-O-U-L-L. Okay how many days does it take to change your name by deed poll? And we'll get an emergency. It's the cheaper option. So 125, you change your name to Spool. Then I'm Haley Spool.

Yeah, no, but we'll change it back. And we'll get an emergency passport. So that's 200. So that's going to be about 350 as opposed to a new booking. You're talking like this is money I'm paying. This is your cock up here. You've made this mistake. I don't think you're going this weekend. I think it's too late

You hear this terrible start to your relationship. I show you and say is everything right? No, did I think that one of my Would write spoil okay is it has anybody been in this situation before? Does Qantas just add a letter? Give us a nice, nice, nice. Surely Qantas can add a letter. It's an everything letter. No, I've had it before

and it doesn't match your passport. You get your ticket, they'll give me my ticket when I check in, and then it doesn't match your passport. They won't let you fly. Why don't you just pay for name change? No, I'll have to call them and sort it out. Someone said ring Qantas, they'll fix it. Oh, that's how I wanna spend my day. How much are they gonna pay for name change? No, I'll have to call them and sort it out. Someone said ring quantus, they'll fix it. Oh, that's how I want to spend my day.

How much are they going to charge you? You should ring. Why should I fix it? You said it wrong. Personally, I just think you're better as a spore. I think we change your name by depot, get a new passport, it's going to be cheaper. Oh my god. Oh no, but wait, then you're going away to, like again though, aren't you?

You're gonna need to change. I'm going always 30 days over to a country that probably wouldn't be as lenient as Australia. I'm flying into Doha to start. Okay, yeah. And then I have to rush it to join the freedom fighters. Shh! Actually, did you say that Haley's better as a spool?

Yeah. It's a, do you know the meaning of a spool? A jerky convulsor? No, that's sprout is the meaning, is jerky. I cannot believe I've done this. This is absolutely outrageous. Oh, I'm gonna say. Is there any advice on the text?

Well, there's, people are, some people are saying that they charge you $150 for a name change. Somebody else said they get this with their name all the time they were in Qantas and they fix it because it's literally a mistake. Do you know what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna say I had a muscle spasm, I've got a thing.

Yeah, it slipped off the arm. And I slipped. And then if they charge me, I'll say that's discrimination. Okay, well I am glad to hear that you are gonna sort this because this is not how I'm spending my money. You've got no ACC, you're gonna stick your shoulder. $50 to change. $50?

I'm not paying it. This is absolutely. Fletch, I'm not paying it.! Absolutely this is outrageous. This is outrageous and this is you. Someone say call now before Australia wakes up. Cause if you wait to call Australia will wake up. I've got stuff to do. Yeah Fletch you're on this after the show. This is unbelievable that I would do this. See I wouldn't do this to myself because I know how to spell my name. You surely know how to spell my name. You be, if you just drop an R's left row and send it, you could be... Welcome to Qantas.

Well, I'll do this now. Yeah, bye Fletch. Hang on, I've gotta wait for the... Options. Press eight if you spelt your friend's name wrong. Okay, someone said, message them on Facebook, message them on social media. They panic way more.

God, you've really messed this up. Sort it out please, Fletch. Shivers guys, 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well who was that, which one? We'll just leave that, we'll just leave that there.

Well if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh yeah, no don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no don't. Don't bother.

Play ZM's Fletch, Lauren and Hayley.