ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 29th, 2025

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

Guinea pig's and Adele SLP - Do you share a towel with your partner? Kmart going all in on clothing How to get rid of an unwanted man hitting on you Top 6 things Woolworths can fight back with When did you let horniness take over? AI Styling advice Hayley brows appt Priase the Lorde Who did you fall for that you shouldn't have? Fact of the Day Train concert wrap up Hayley's lost a jacketSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fleshborne and Hayley's big pod. Thanks to Animate's Making Happy Happen for Pets. ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley's. Thank you, Brinnifer Rubakin. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleshborne and Hayley. Two minutes past six. I've had three hours sleep. The irons are a bit bloodshot eh? I've had more sleep than that but I don't particularly feel like I've slept so. Right okay. Maybe it's sort of a sympathetic situation. Yep. And that she's back in the atmosphere. Yeah great night atane last night. Not the only concert, you would have heard Bryn mention Lord's toilet concert.

Talk about that soon. We will talk about that on the show today. When we were in town having a couple of drinky poos before the concert, we were like, where is she? We had heard, yeah, we had heard that she'd be around. We started screaming out her name. Just in case she popped up. I didn't think she might pop up on stage with Trane.

I was saying Ella as well, just in case. We were like, Ella, Ella. We were like, Ella, Ella. Yeah, that's her name isn't it? Yeah. Also, speaking of concerts, we must discuss on the show today something, behaviour that you pulled last night

at the show. I thought it was a smart move. It's a wild move. Wild move. International ATM is back at 8am this morning. Your chance to win cash. So make sure you listen out for that activator. The top six is coming up soon.

Yeah it is. We talked yesterday about New World's new stamp collectible situation. Yeah. Frothin. A lot of crockeries, some cast iron. Kitchen aid. Kitchen aid. Yeah people love that stuff.

Cookware. Yeah. I have decided to don my marketing hat. Okay. And I'm gonna have the top six things that Woolworths can fight back with. Your marketing hat looks like the same beanie you wear most days.

They are all the same. They are individual beanies. Right. But they all look exactly the same. Yeah, right. Next on the show, there was a science experiment that we must talk about involving hamsters and Adele. Great. Of course. Adele isn't a computer or...

The singer, the singer born. Someone like you Adele. Even hamsters like, these laptops are trash! Actually they might have even been guinea pigs. We'll discuss next. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Fletch, you've said to me, I've got a great article Vaughan, digest it with your science brain. And I said, I took off my marketing-

Did you remind him you're not a scientist, you're a doctor. I'm a doctor, but I dabbled. I took off my marketing beanie and put on my science beanie. Looks the same. It's exactly the same. It's exactly the same. All the same black beanie from ASColor.

By the way, I'm gonna have to go to two beanies a season rather than my standard three with inflation and you know, cost of living and so. Yeah. Of course, yeah. Just put it to the side. If there's a bit of pilling, we'll turn a blind eye. No, I got a pill machine. You got a pill machine?

I got the thing that eats the pilling. Oh, that's the little with the little head on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a shaver. Oh yeah. That rules, and my favorite part is afterwards playing with all the stuff. Will it work on my sweatshirt? Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll bring it in. You gotta be with all the stuff. Wanna work on my sweatshirt? Yeah dude.

You gotta be careful though, they do snag. Oh okay. Oh, what kind of sweatshirt have you got? It's the blue one. Nah, no you won't. It won't snag on that sort of sweatshirt. If you had a knit, just get a new sweatshirt. And I know you do investment knits.

I know you buy a good knit and it lasts for a few seasons. But he's been talking about getting a new sweatshirt for quite a while. I'm gonna buy a new sweatshirt. It's on my to-do list this weekend. This weekend, yeah. Yeah it is. The city of sweatshirts. The city of sweatshirt for quite a while. I'm going to buy a new sweatshirt. It's on my Twitter list this weekend. Yeah. Yeah, the city of sweatshirts. The city of sweatshirts. Now why are we listening to Adele?

Because guinea pigs. Wait, you said hamsters. Beautiful. Actually, I said, I said initially it was guinea pigs. Carwin wrote down here hamsters. Racist. I think she thinks they're the same. She thinks they all look the same.

She's rodent racist. Rodent racist. Yeah, cancelled. Cancelled, Carwin. She's not happy. Do you not know the difference between a hamster and a guinea pig, babes? She's not happy about being cancelled.

I literally said to you, what's this hamster Adele stuff that you want to talk about? And you went, yeah, yeah, yeah, just put it in. I said hamster Adele. You said hamster. She said hamster, it's actually guinea pigs. You actually can't say hamster. I just googled hamster, can I just read you a headline? Yeah.

Popcorn the hamster led me to meet the love of my life, BBC. Wow. I mean maybe we should discuss that later in the show. Maybe we should just do a regular hamster segment. You know where we should be playing the hamster dance in the background? Yeah. Was it the hamster in the guinea pig that was jet skiing? Squirrel. Oh no! They don't all look the same! They don't even look anything alike. That's sort of like more bipedal with a big fluffy tail. Another rodent racist. Wow.

Okay, sorry guys. Dying hamsters are cute. Yeah. Rarararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar And it's all to do with what kind of music damages your ears worse. OK. Surely they should put on some heavy metal or some... No, because they've got this Adele's 2015 track, I Miss You, which has not been played in the background now because Fletch said it's not a radio hit. No one knows it. No, no, this is...

Everybody knows it and that'll do. I'm playing the radio hit. Yeah, yeah. Two groups of guinea pigs. One, and they both listen to the song at 102 decibels. What's that? Give me a plane taking off. Yeah, what's the equivalent?

Yeah, a machine in a workshop. A fire truck siren. A motorcycle engine at close range, a live rock concert, a chainsaw or a leaf blower, a personal audio device at maximum volume or a sporting event. So they blasted it. These blasted these guinea pigs. They let them have it.

Two groups. Seven days, right? By the way, a week. It was a week. No, it was a week of daily exposure. So they did it every day. But they had not time to go home and see the family. That's nice.

Right. That's nice. They played the same song, but not all day. But they had no time to go home and see their family. That's nice. Right, that's nice. So they played the same song, but at two different styles. One, a compressed version of the song. Now this is where, how do you describe it? If there's a sound wave, you're familiar with the sound wave, if there's lots of peaks and troughs and quiet bits, that's uncompressed, but if it looks more like a fat,

thick bar, it's been compressed that quite a bits get louder, the louder bits get quieter, it all kind of like comes into... Yep, flattens. Basically modern pop music is quite heavily compressed, whereas your older more classical music, and I guess that's why they use the Dell, because it's got classical elements, but also is modern pop music. Right. So they played one group the uncompressed version and one the heavily compressed version. Mm-hmm. Another way of thinking about compress is if you like press scan on your car radio, So they played one group, the uncompressed version, and one, the heavily compressed version.

Another way of thinking about compressed is if you like press scan on your car radio, which don't, because you're obviously on the best station already. And you go past concert FM and you're like, nothing's on, but it's quiet. You ever do this? It's like, what's that? And it's because it's like the slow build.

You'll never have that in modern radio, pop radio, rock radio. R&B comes in loud. So why are they doing this with? Because they said there's been this long standing theory that compressed music, even for the same amount of time for at the same volume as uncompressed music is more damaging to our ears.

And it is. They found out from this exposure every day that it is compressed music is more damaging to our ears. Cause we just play it loud the whole time. I mean, they could have just spoken to any elder millennial gen exer and just had a conversation they'd be like what? Yeah.

What? And they've got tinnitus. What? So the uncompressed version, the more natural version, did cause damage to the ears the same just due to the volume but it faded over a day whereas the ones that were exposed to this for a week it lasted longer. And that's really sad to think there are some deaf guinea pigs out there now. We did that.

Part of it was they took them to Bay Audiology afterwards. Oh, did they? Got the little guinea pig hearing aids. Little, man, you have to get little tools in there to have a look. Tiny little ears, guinea pigs. Do you know there's a guinea pig farm, have you? Guinea pig farm, and there's a guinea pig place in Christchurch? No there's not. Yes, guinea pig...

Um hamsters are illegal in New Zealand. Farm. Are they? I'm sure that's just popped into my head. Right okay. It's called Wendleton guinea pig village. Guys it's in Nelson. I went years ago. You go and they've got this little township, windmills, little buildings, little fire, oh my god it's so good. You gotta go. You dreamin' that?

You dream that? Look, listen, look at it. Oh right, okay. Oh so you just watch them live. Yeah you just watch them live. I think you can buy some food and you can feed them little bits. Wendelton and Nelson. We've spent a lot of time on guinea pigs.

We've spent almost a quarter of an hour talking about guinea pigs. We should probably tap out. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole, do you share with your partner? A towel. Yeah. Well, it's just whatever's on top. Yeah, off the towel rack.

Yeah. The two towels are the same colour, they're the same towel. Yeah, I'm not gonna tell which towel is my towel, the same towel. Which towel is my towel? Towel or towel? You've still rubbed their junk on it. It's like you've also rubbed your junk. In with other places.

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, just grab a towel. Unless you're waiting for marriage, you don't wanna. Oh no, actually God's watching. Yeah, that would technically. Even your genitals aren't allowed to touch the same textiles. Yeah, that would be a bit of frottage there.

Would be frottaging actually. Sort of by proxy. Towel frottage. Frottage by proxy. Proxy of course was our RockQuest band name. Yes, frottage by proxy. So good. Put it in the calendar.

Love that. Put it on the calendar guys. Frottage by proxy. Frottage by proxy. That's our latest RockQuest band name. Frottage by proxy. I'll email you. What a ridiculous email. I'm writing it right now. Don't have. I'll email you. What a ridiculous email.

I'm writing it right now. Don't have that on an email too. Frottage by proxy. HR will have you upstairs immediately. What is he talking about there? We need to start an ongoing list of RockQuest bands. Maybe a notes on the phone. Joint notes.

But do you do this, the poll results? 83% of people said, ooh no. What? And that's not just because they have the last card and they've got to say that, otherwise they have to pick up two next time. Ooh no. They're saying, ooh no.

It's terrible, eh, when you're about to win uno and you didn't say uno. And you're hoping everybody else doesn't notice and then it gets back around to you and someone's like, did you say uno? Yeah, definitely did. Yeah, I see that. I definitely said uno.

I like that. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. So 83% Uno? Yeah, definitely did. I definitely said Uno. Uno, Uno, Uno, Uno. So 83% of people said Uno. That's only 17% of people are like, yeah, I'll share a towel. Okay, interesting. That's wild. I'm expecting to hear from Tammy from Briscoe's. Oh yeah. Hopefully Tammy.

So many towels. Tammy chums on. Or she'll be stoked at this stat. Cause people are buying more towels. Cause people are buying more towels. Kylie said, Uno, we we just again another oh no, but I'm on the game. We just renovated our bathroom.

So happy to now have vertical towel rails so they don't even touch it all. A vertical towel rail, vertical. How does that work? You just chuck the towel over it and it- Like bars, like single bars that go down and each tower just drapes over the bar Is the bar heat like a yeah like a hook? Oh, I've never seen that I've never seen the worst how rails in the world. I hate them

So I'd either say I don't have any more than one time. Oh, yeah, no ridiculous Yeah, the one that snakes up the walls ridiculous. Yeah. Yes. You're just like that. You just sort of drape the towel over it. Over it. Oh, we're living in, wait till Andre 3000 hears about this. And Will.i.am. Two men constantly living in the future. In the future, yeah. They know about these town rails.

They've had these town rails since 2004. Oh my god. It was the Miss Jackson money. I just didn't realise that. And the Alephunk album money. God, Alephunk, hey what an album. Do you know what, I had that CD in my CD player I didn't realise that. And the Elefunk album money. God, Elefunk, what an album. Do you know what, I had that CD in my CD player

in my Mitsubishi Mirage and when they stole the radio, when people broke into my car and stole the radio, I was devastated, it had Elefunk in it. And I was like, you bastard. Do you know what, I reckon I can get you an Elefunk CD if you really want one. And of course, will I sleep with Fergie? That's right, I forgot.

I forgot. Weird brag, bro, weird slept with Fergie. That's right, I forgot. I forgot. Weird brag, bro, weird brag. Weird brag. Nah, not a weird brag. I mean, if you slept with Fergie, you'd make it known. You'd make it known. She wore three-quarter pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She wore three-quarter pants and a weird train driver's hat. Yeah, and some high heels with her three-quarters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we worked on Fergalicious together. It's actually about me. Listen up, y'all, cause this is it.

The beat going down is the goodness. Fergalicious definition, make the voice call. Anyway, more messages in regarding sharing a towel. Newbs says, why have, we have two towels- Oh, and Newbs's back.

Newbs is back. We have two towels out, but forget whose is whose Yeah, you just use whatever's closest or driest. Yes. Yes use the driest. I hate it when you do Grab the wet one when someone's the wetter of the couple They'll wet up a towel more and then the other person will be like their towel will be dry So the wetter person will use their towel. I don't really wet my towels that much don't you I do that I'm a hand squeegee thing. Yeah dude!

Straight down the front legs. Do you hand squeegee before you get off? Do you not hand squeegee in the shower? My hair. Oh my god, I hand squeegee. I hand squeegee aggressively too. Yeah. No I don't.

I would like to see you hand squeegee. Why just go like this? No no, take all your clothes off. Oh no, that's dainty. Oh no, I'm going to do a shimmy like a cat, like a dog. And then like this, yeah. Look at these two. It's good, it's good.

That's how your hand's squeegee. Wow, wow. Ministry of silly walks. And then, yeah. No, no, I just go straight out, towel off the hook, absorb, but my towels don't get that wet. Monster. I definitely do not.

My boyfriend, however, is a a tad a bit fast and loose with towel etiquette says Dan. Goodness. Yuck. That must be upsetting to a homosexual. To be with someone fast and loose with a towel etiquette. Yeah. You don't expect it from the guys.

We should do another silly little poll. Do you hand squeegee? Do you hand squeegee? McF handsqueegee? Max Fly! Max Fly! I had a silly little poll idea. Do you want me to put it in an email? Do you handsqueegee? So Rich just told you off for being on your phone during the show and they're just having a bloody gossip. They're having a little hooey.

Having a bloody... Look at them jumping on, don't put their mic up. Don't put their mic up. We're recording in the Lord audio, thank you very much. And we had to check for swear words because we don't trust her. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Look at them jumping on top of their mic up. We're recording in the Lord audio, thank you very much. And we had to check for swear words because we don't trust her.

Oh! That's fair, that's fair. Wow. Zedine doesn't trust Lord. Do you do the hand squeegee when you get out of the shower? We might have to do an accompanying video. I don't know the girls, maybe girls don't. Do we not?

No, I would never squeegee myself. I don't squeegee myself. What do you mean? You're not wet your hands. That's not a towel's fault. No, your towel gets too wet. No, you're wet. Oh, this is such a boy thing.

It feels boyish because I don't do this. It slips off me. I've got no hair. And this is why you slip over in the bathroom because you wet the floor because you're so wet. Oh, you guys go through some bath mats. Yeah, no, I reckon you just walk straight out of the shower. You go in the shower for a second, turn off the water, linger.

Linger. Come out. You linger. Turn off the water, hand squeegee. Why don't you be like a Labrador? We don't need to linger because you get cold. You do the hand squeegee. That's, you don't have to linger.

Learn to re-linger while you're wringing out your hair, right? You let go and then it's all, yeah, there we go. Just let it linger. Nah, hands squeege guys, no idea. No idea. It's the spotty hair. You're gonna squeegee it. Okay, well we'll discuss this tomorrow.

I can't believe you've brought our baldness into this. Yeah, I did. We'll discuss this tomorrow with silly little Kyle. I think it's gonna get more passionate than that. I think it will. Um, UNO should never share a towel. You should always use a clean one every single time. No, what are you Kim Kardashian?

Oh my God, Mal, a minimum of four towels used daily here. Her hot water cupboard in there. Like washing. Washing. Towels are such a pain to wash as well. They take so long. I only do like four towels a load. They're big and heavy and they make the...

What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What's he got? A medically small washing machine? Fork out? Yeah. I'm embarrassed for you. Have you seen Bourne's washing machine? Tiny.

It's like a miniature one. It's like... He can do like six sets of socks. You should see him try to wash sheets. He's going to do the bottom one and then the top one. And the sheets in half. It's a Sanyo from the 80s. And it was white, but it's plastic, so it's gone weird yellow cream.

Kmart, which is Australian, right? Yes. It is Australian. I've taken the U out of Australia. Who owns Kmart? Like Bunnings and stuff? The Mart family. The what?

The Mart family. The Mart family. Karen and Kevin Mart. Yeah, right. They Mart family. Karen and Kevin Mart. So apparently K Mart's doing a bit of an overhaul. Which they did already right? Like K Mart back when we were growing up was a bit lame, wasn't great. And then... To be honest, I didn't think it was going to see out of the year back in 2006. No. I lived near St. Luke's in Auckland. They had a Kmart... Dismal. Dismal.

Dismal. Dismal departments. I was all about tikka tikka. Everybody thought the warehouse was going to win the battle of the Kmart warehouse battle. Farmers was gonna slowly wipe out your big department stores. Yes. H&J Smiths, Smith & Coys. What was the one in Wellington? David Jones. Kerkholdian Steins.

Kerkholdian Steins. You thought the farmers was gonna win that battle for the Red Dot specials alone. All they kinda have, cause all of those places have closed. And the Santa Beers, yes, they have. But then Kmart got a second wind. And the second wind on this thing, because they went hard on homewares. That was the thing where everyone was like,

you can get these sick plates, tootle is each. And jupes of all kinds of things. Jup, jup, jup, jup, jupes. So apparently they're doing another overhaul, and they're focusing mainly on fashion. That's how you say fashion if you're in the fashion industry. And beauty, which they've kind of been getting into with their like, tubes, with their,

what's the brand, XO or something like that? Yeah. So that just, they're gonna kind of like pull back on things like the sportswear, the bikes, anything other than homewares, beauty, and fashion. Cause this is an article out of Australia and they're starting to like remodel some stores. They're gonna remodel the bikes, anything other than homewares, beauty, and fashion. Cause this is an article out of Australia and they're starting to like remodel some stores. They're gonna remodel the stores, they're gonna put like women's, like women's things, fashion, everything like that, right at the front. And then when they're gonna move the tools, the tools, rather than the centre of the store.

Yeah. Which was always a bit of a trip, wasn't it? Yeah, because you had to show someone the receipt on the way out, it seemed like double handling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're doing a full, like, put in their, you know? Yeah. Their eggs in one basket.

You're just taking more of your money. Yeah, take it, literally take it all. But for me it was the homewares, because I, and then I'd bought those like blue motley plates that looked like they'd been made by a ceramicist and definitely not in a factory in China. And then you'd go to a cafe and they'd be there and I'd be like, $2 Anko plate. $2 Anko. I don't mind. But you'd never know would you? Do you judge a cafe harshly on its crockery? No, I don't.

If it's a nice plate I flip the bottom and I'm like who's the ceramicist? Yeah, so I judge them more on the quality of their utensils, their forks and their knives and their spoons. If you get a light flimsy one, I like a heavy... Same, but my knives and forks are from Kmart. Are they heavy? Very. Okay, good. Heavy as. They've got a real good hand feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Good balance. Really good balance. Fat handle? Not fat, but heavy. So you've mean? Good balance. Really good balance. Fat handle. Not fat, but heavy. So you've got to think it's sort of slim and dense.

Yeah, right. Yeah, and then when you lose one, you sort of don't mind because replacing them is not that expensive. But then I said the same when I bought my plates from K-Mart. I was like, if I break them, when I break them, I'll just replace them for $2. They never break.

They just don't break. So yeah, I mean, I imagine this is gonna roll out in Australia first when they're gonna put this new focus and then we'll get it, you know, as we mostly do, the dribs and drabs of Australia's sort of backwash. We get Australia's backwash. Few floaties. Few floaties, but you know, it's still delicious.

Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Haley. Now I'm gonna it's not a Shannon's hack too early for those shenanigans right now. Shananigans. Shananigans. But I do want Shannon to explain this to me because gosh she was telling me before and I was laughing. How to get rid of someone who's hitting on you in a bar and they don't they're not quite picking up on the fact that you don't want to be hit on? Yeah, so the general rule that girls say is you tell a guy you have a boyfriend because men respect men more than they respect no.

Of course. Which is such a sad reality, but it's true. But they're like, hey, I'm not going to cross some other homie's turf. Yeah. That's what you guys say. It's an internal war log. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not going to cross another homie brother's turf. Yeah, it's turf. Yeah. That's what you guys say. It's internal war log. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not gonna cross another homie brother's turf.

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. I don't think men do that. You say do, I know men. I know men. Don't question me. You know men. Yeah.

I know men. Yeah. They say, bro, bro, back it up. I'm not gonna cross another homie brother's turf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And pour out a little 40. And they pour out a 40 and then we move on with the night. Yeah. So you tell them you have a boyfriend if they don't respect that.

I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. And they go oh yeah no it's fine it's fine they don't need to know you say no I'm not interested. Yeah. If they then keep pursuing you I've got a little tip that the girlies are doing online at the moment. Yeah. You just say to them plain and simple, can I have 20 bucks? I love this. Yeah. And the two things that could come out of this situation is they hand you $20. Yay.

When? You just got 20 bucks or they get so flustered and insecure as a man that they just walk away. I sort of love this. It's like a, like you're sort of shocking them, right? To derail what they're up to. Yeah, and I think it just like really makes them feel insecure. Because then they'll be like, I have $20, I can afford.

So then they'll hand you $20 perhaps. But yeah, I think it's... But then what if they keep pestering you and talking? Ask for another $20. $50, yeah. Yeah, it goes up and up and up. Yeah, how long does the $20 buy you? Yeah, no, I mean...

Five minutes. Five minutes. Yeah, I reckon. That's a hell of an hourly rate. I feel like this is now sounding dodgy. I'm not saying we're getting money for time, because then that's going down a different path. But why wouldn't we if we could?

Do you know what I mean? Why wouldn't we if we could? In this economy, we're not going to try to make money. What is it? So every five minutes, there's 12 lots of that. That's half a block of butter. That's 240 bucks an hour. That's $5. I'm not mad. Now I've got money. I've got butter money. money what is it so every five minutes there's 12 lots of it's 240 bucks an hour

or as Fred said, I'm not mad now I've got money he's left me alone and now I've got butter play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the unmoderated comment section this is the top six well howdy folks howdy howdy uh today Top 6, dealing with the fact that New World has launched their latest collect these stickers by these things. And that people always go a little bit crazy. Yeah. Cuckoo bananas. I mean they're not up there with the knives, that was the pinnacle for me. They did glassware, eh? Glassware, yep. And this one, it's all like utensils and cooking. No, no, no. No, utensils is cooking.

Ceramics. Ceramics, yeah, yeah. There's a cast iron. Dishes. Yeah, there's a cast iron situation and there are a couple of baking dishes. I want the utensil holder. Yeah, we'll bid on the utensil holder. Well, you've come up.

Are there the top six ways willies can fight back against New World? Number six on the list. Because obviously they're gonna have to do something, right? Oh, they'll launch their thing soon. Number six on the list. Because obviously they're gonna have to do something, right? Oh, they'll launch their thing soon. Number six on the list! Probably the simplest one. How about you just make food cheaper?

Man. I would flock there. How about that for getting some people through the doors. If they were just like, yeah, you could like, go to the supermarket, spend this money, collect these stickers. Get a casserole dish. Get a casserole dish. Or you could just come here, buy a casserole dish for less and to be honest, our food's cheaper.

Way cheaper, way cheaper too. For the next month, we're literally making no profit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to get you through the doors. We're a not-for-profit. Number five on the list of the top six ways Walworths can fight back against New World. I'm going to stop that silliness of sensibility. Yeah. Labooboos. Everyone's talking about LeBubu's. Spend $300.

And get a LeBubu. Get a LeBubu. Go and people. Collect all the stickers and get a LeBubu. Number four on the list of the top six ways Woolworths can fight back against New World iPhones. Just get this. I'd probably go to the supermarket.

I'd drive a little bit further to go to that supermarket. How much have you got to spend to get an iPhone though? Just collect some stickers and get an iPhone. Like shop there your whole life? Yeah, yeah. And promise you're never gonna go back to New York. Commit to us for the next decade? If you promise.

Yeah. That you'll never go back. You can't just pull into back and say. There is, I know because when I worked at the petrol station, they had a formula basically. If you gave someone bad enough service that they left that petrol station that was their preferred petrol station, how much it would cost the company over the

course of that person's lifetime and it was pretty mind blowing. Wow and that was based on 19 late 90s fuel prices. Although fuel's getting it's come down. My local fuel stations changed to Ugo or something. Yu-Gi-Oh that's a card game isn't it? No! Number 3 on the list of the top 6 ways warwords can fight back against New World. Drugs! Very popular I'm told. What you get a tinny?

Get some drugs. Spend X amount and get a little tinny. 5 stickers as a tinny, 10 stickers as a bump, I don't know. A bump? Jeez! What do you collect on the way out? Just walk past the cashier? Yeah. Wow. We collecting on the way out? Just walk past the cashier? Yeah, yeah.

Wow. We're on the way in. Number two on the list of the top six ways Woolworths can fight back against New World, Happy Meal toys. Oh yeah, works for Maccas, doesn't it? How do Maccas afford to do a toy with a Happy Meal? Like, if you're spending that much on groceries,

surely they can, I can have a Happy Meal toy. Just a little something to keep. Timmy, you tell him there, kids not gonna be like yes that's the supermarket we go to or I'm gonna ruin your afternoon mother. I want that toy. And number one on the list of the top six ways Woolworths can fight back against New World, spend $20, get a firework. A firework. A firework. Feels dangerous, just one like a little. Roman candle. Roman candle. And you can either, you know, do you, you do you boo, you can save them up or you can just let them off in the car park.

No, I think they should light it as you leave the door. The guy's there with a lighter. And he lights it and you just shoot it into the car park. Yeah. And don't run towards the fuel pumps. That is today's Top Secret. We want to know, when you let horniness override your common sense, you went to the ends of the earth,

cause man, you were feeling it. All the time, are people just gonna call up all the time? Literally all the time. Do you ever say anything when you're horny and then afterwards when you're not anymore, you're like, ugh, why'd I say that for? Yeah. So the reason we talk about this is cause,

people are sharing these stories online and they're very funny. Oh're like, ugh, what is it that for? So the reason we talk about this is because people are sharing these stories online and they're very funny. Oh my God, it's so good. Like a girl I was dating woke me up by calling me when she got home from the bath, I'm afraid she had a few drinks, begging me to come over for a threesome, 2 a.m. Went across town, a one hour drive,

and got there and they were both asleep. I was just about to say how is this gonna end? Common sense you would just go back to sleep because it's 2 a.m. Drove, I mean I don't know how long that is, this is in America, but drove a long time in a blizzard. Totally worth it, she's my wife now. Oh okay, some of these stories have some happy endings. Yeah. Listen to all of her podcasts. Not what I meant. Listen to all of her podcasts so I can have things to talk about afterwards.

Ended up coming off as a full blown creep because I knew way too much about her. Not worth it. I attended a university paper that I knew she was into because I wanted to Impress her. Bang! I mean, I'm trying to think about how far I've gone. What was that? What was that?

That was weird. I'm just thinking about what's shareable. Is that your thinking, Nort? It was your thinking. It was as she purrs when she's thinking. The ends that people go to to impress people. Yeah. Or to just like, how far did you travel? How far did you go? It's just the ends that people go to to impress people. Yeah, yeah. Or to just like, how far did you travel?

How far did you go? We have chats online and you're like, oh yeah, I'll book a flight to Europe. Do you know what I mean? That's worth it. It's worth it. Yeah, because you're letting the horniness override the common sense.

Yeah, exactly. You're supposed to go home, get into bed and not do it. And then you're like, it's overriding my common sense. Yeah, okay, well, we want to take your calls. What is it not do it. And then you're like, it's overriding my common sense. Yeah. Okay. Well, we want to take your calls. What is it that does it? Um, hormones, hormones, right? Yeah.

You're being flooded with hormones. They need to be satiated. Yeah. And you're like, I can't, it's not, I can't do it on my own. Yeah. I need what I want. Already starting to get some messages in. 0800 dials at Emma's number.

You can text her 9696. When did you let the horniness override your common sense? We're adding to this online trend of people sharing the times when horniness overrode the common sense. Yeah. And they just lost their minds for a second. Yeah.

And just went to the ends of the earth for a hookup or a shag or, you know. It's like that movie Inside Out, except you're all grown up now and you've still got rage and and depression. They're definitely still living in there. Joy's not a main character. Yeah, that's slipped. But there's a new version in charge of the switch that's called horny. It's called hormones and they rage. That'll do anything. So many messages and do you think we're hearing from mostly guys? I don't know! I don't know! It's hard to tell.

Okay, okay, no, here's a wahine. I went on a girls night out and it had been a while, if you know what I mean. Since they had a girl. We were all reading between the lines there. And I was messaging a guy, I ended up leaving the girls night to go and see this guy, who was the older brother of the guy that I had slept with a few years earlier now that wasn't a great decision but you know the common sense was common sense filter we've all been in a bar with our friends on the phone being like I might leave yeah anonymous when did you let

hello hello hello good morning when did you let the horniness override the common sense? So the first really bad flood that we had. Yes. It was I think it was pitch black. It was pouring with rain. There was massive potholes and puddles on the road. I was driving in my Swift. A Swift? A flood? A Coors horn. No, yeah, and I drove off the road. I didn't, I couldn't see the road markings.

Oh, God. And this, wait a minute, this was during the floods. No. You kind of want to say on the road, not on the swift. No, I know. It was like, it was just a fair of the moment thing. And then, yeah, I just drove off the road because of the hot hole.

It like hit my tire and I was like oh my god We were taught to stay indoors. I know and I had to lie to my parent. I was like, oh my friend really needs me Really needs me this was just right this was for a hookup. Yeah. Yeah. Okay What else we do during the flood? Yeah down that, not worth it, but you know. Just speak volumes for the off-road capabilities of the Suzuki Swift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Yeah, no, thank you a lot.

The Jimny is the off-road version of the Swift. It's not, it's really not. It's really not, I would never drive that. A lot of white girls do drive them though. Yeah, yeah, I'm not the only man I've seen driving one. Anonymous says he has big Jimny. You're the only man I've seen driving one. Yeah, anonymous that she has big gymnasium. You're the only man who owns a gymnasium.

Anonymous, thank you. It's normally just white girls from the shore. That is so, I belong to gymnastic groups and there's so many men in there. They say, out of the box, you won't get a better four wheel drive for your dollar. I don't know if that's true, Vought. Stop making groups up on Facebook.

Yeah, yeah, you're a liar. I slept with a set of twins a week apart, but the first one was a dud, so I needed to try again. Oh, sweet God! When it starts with, do not call me, don't you dare. You know it's going to be good. Oh, you know it's going to be juicy. Oh my... Yep.

Don't read the text machine, Hayley. You might read it. I want your genuine reaction. Okay. I'm going to cover some other ones. We're going to finish on that. Okay, okay, okay. Don't read, Hayley. You might read it. I want your genuine reaction. Okay. I'm gonna cover some other ones. We're gonna finish on it. Okay, okay, okay. Don't read, Hayley, don't read. When my casual hookup got me,

whoop, yep, not reading that one either. That's... In school, I joined the school's Catholic youth group just to be with her. As a man that's chaste, this vizier of Christian forbidden fruits. Yeah. You know, that's fun.

But it's worth it. She's now my wife. Oh, okay. You just gotta find the right Catholic chick. That's fun. But it's worth it, she's now my wife. Oh, okay. You just gotta find the right Catholic chick, thou wild. That's your God. Oh, God. Wow.

That's actually what the Pope said last week. That's what he said before he passed away. Yeah, he was like, those Catholic girls are wild. You must always remember, find the right Catholic woman, thou wild. And then he was like, beep. And then he was dead.

I don't know where I pay. I once got way too intoxicated and push biked 76 kilometers to Christchurch town to Darfield, only to get there to realize the moment it passed, she was asleep and I was sober nine hours later. Push biked. I moved to Ireland for someone who'd only spent two weeks with tops. She was asleep and I was sober nine hours later. Oh, God. Push-biked. Wow. I moved to Ireland for someone who'd only spent two weeks with Tops.

Terrible decision, but we're still together 10 years later. Oh, good, that's good. Oh, okay, that's good. Yeah. I let him pick me up and drive me three hours away to the middle of nowhere for a spicy sleepover. It was the first time we'd met. I can't believe I'm still alive.

One of those Instagram cabins in the middle of nowhere. Dude, if a guy picked me up for a hookup and he's still driving an hour later, I'm getting out. Yeah. That's when you start noticing bits and pieces in the car. A spade in the boot. A rope, a black rubbish bag, some bleach. I've just realised my dog died.

And he's like, mine too, that's what we're going to bury it. Once that's a boot and there's a dead Labrador, you're just like, and it's your Labrador. It's your Labrador, that's the twist. Oh my god. Are we writing a film? I think we're writing a horror film. Yep, great. Um, I once rode my motorbike from Auckland to Christchurch non-stop.

Oh that's... And afterwards... We had to stop because there's a big ocean in the middle. Yeah, no, he hit it so fast he jumped that hole. He's so drunk. And afterwards I was like, why don't I just jump online and hook up with someone in Auckland? Or get a flight? That's also a good option.

That is amazing. It's like a car but it's in the sky and it goes from where to go. It's crazy. And it's like a car but it's in the sky and it goes from where to go. It's crazy. And it's like a quarter of the time. No, it's like a 16th of the time. A little slither of the time. What started out as meaning as a barbecue turned into a few weeks of booty call travelling Hamilton to Tito.

That's not too bad. In fact now you could probably get there in no time because they've put that plastic motorway there. And they've watched that sign that we said was mossy above I have a listen that I don't know yeah lovely they've done that you're just man taking the next day yeah lovely amazing and take a look at a 15 years later though three kids so that's all that's nice right let me just see if there's any... Three? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da They give you one my boyfriend was sleeping right beside me. Oh my! Gaze, I clasped. Sorry?

That's so good. Okay, I'm gonna read the one that I- Wait, is that cheating though? Because technically you're in international airspace. Yeah, no, there's no law up there. Yeah, are we over land? No, it's over the ocean. Over the ocean, you imagine?

Sorry, pirate rules. Pirate rules? Yeah, pirate rules, pirate rules. What are they asking what the ocean, you imagine it? Sorry, pirate rules. Pirate rules? Yeah, pirate rules. Pirate rules. What are they? Ask me what the pirate rules are. What are they? No rules.

Yeah, we don't talk about them and there's no rules. We don't mention them and there's no rules. I'm pretty sure you must always obey the instructions of flight attendants. That's the only rule. And through. At altitude, but at sea level, no. You get to a certain height and that's the one rule that's in pirate space. God, you just want to be touching on a plane.

Oh yeah, I do. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. Do not call me, do not call this number. Okay. I once had a silicon toy that was far too big, but I was horny. So I determinedly whittled it down with a knife.

Ha ha ha ha! However. Ha ha ha ha! Whittled it down with a knife! Like an old man in a shed, like, sitting on your rocking chair, they're like, One day I'm gonna be able to fit this up right up in there! We don't need to get a new one! I got me some whittlin' to do! Whittle, whittle, whittle! Old man making a toy!

Determinantly, I whittled it smaller with a knife, but of course it's silicon so it lost its smooth shape. But that wasn't going to stop me. I guess you could say I put a square peg in a round hole. One out of ten. Have we done Techs of the Week? Yes we have. Have we? We have for which of the use today. Do you have some sort of hook up at Wild Secrets?

Wild Secrets? Oh 20 20% off give this person something Surely not a large one Please it is Fletch one and Haley I I we've talked we talk about I it's kind of there's a new AI news story every day. Yeah, right It does everything what if we asked it to do lately? Rate us out of 10. Tell us that we're hot. Tell us how to improve our look. Oh, what was I?

I was an 8A, was I an 8.5? You were an 8.5. No, you were an 8. I might actually redo it now. No, you were an 8, Vornie, you. I was 8. He was 8.5. Oh, you were 8.5 and I will. Minger. You were a 9. I was a 9.

I might redo it now with a photo that I can actually see my face though. Yeah. Oh, you don't wanna know. No though. Yeah. You don't want to know. No. Yeah, no, you don't. Not today. It was like you're getting a bit ahead of yourself, but on hot or not, in the day. Yeah.

And then sort of crowdsource demise. Now it's styling you. It's styling you. You take a photo of yourself and you're like, what's my style, baby? And it gives you a, it says you're currently this, but you could be this, like your body is, lends itself to this. A wonderland?

Your body is a wonderland. I've seen girls using this on the talk. And you just say, upload it, and you say like, a picture of you in a frock or something. And then they just go, oh, I would wear more this, or you could have an edgier style with a haircut like that, or with the colour of your hair, maybe you could wear more autumnal colours.

Yeah, you've got an autumnal palette. Yeah, because I would be shocked. I would be so upset if I uploaded a photo of myself and it said you can no longer wear black clothes, because that's all I wear. That's all you wear. But it will, it will. You can upload a wear black clothes, because that's all I wear. That's all you wear. So you can- It will, it will.

You can upload a photo of you, so you're wearing some pants or jeans or a skirt or whatever. You can be like, what can I wear on top? Yeah, yeah. Or style me. I'm going on a second date to this location, this is the weather, what shall I wear? Right.

This is what I've got. Yeah, and you just upload it. You can like, I've seen girls doing, you just take a photo of can like, I've seen girls doing, you just take a photo of every item of your wardrobe and then they make, AI makes you like combinations. So you take a photo of your four pants and your three skirts and your nine tops and your jackets. And it was good.

Or just the same three T-shirts. For you guys it'll be a quick upload. Yeah. Quick upload. It's not gonna be a lot of time for us. For me, I'd have to get a membership because of the amount of photos I'd have to take to upload. But then it would be like, I would wear that jacket

with this pair of pants and this and chuck a necklace on. Yeah, good idea. I mean, it's pretty good if you're a bit- Indecisive, or you've got lots of options. Or you're tired of your wardrobe like I am at the moment. You're like, oh God, I'm uninspired by all these clothes. And you just need a new combination. I think this is pretty smart.

I think it's pretty cool. Okay. I'll try this. Well, you should, but I don't trust AI. Okay. Well, so you think it's going to steal your look and then you'll end up modelling on a website because you're so hot, they'll steal your photos. That's what I'm nervous about because I'm a nine.

Yeah. As dictated by AI, I didn't mean that. Cause I'm a nine, I'm going to be found all across the world, modelling things and I'm not getting any money for it. I don't trust it as far as I can throw it. Yesterday I did a bit of personal grooming because I have been, I've been saving it up. You know what I mean?

I've been saving up my grooming, letting things get a bit wild, including my eyebrows. Like, they sort of lost all shape, meaning and form for a while, just letting it grow out. Same. Same, my whole life. Do you groom your eyebrows? I wasn't talking about my eyebrows,

I was just talking about myself. Just let it all grow out. Shape, meaning and form. No, I lost my shape, meaning and form. Oh. But I'm back. I like your shape, meaning and form. No, I lost my shape, meaning and form. But I'm back. I like your shape, meaning and form. I'm a phoenix.

Both of you. I'm gonna kill you, Fletcher. Why? I've heard some pretty interesting things about you. A rainbow of emotions there. He's a madman. He's lost it. He has lost all meaning and shape and form.

No, my eyebrows, they were sloppy. So I hit the mall where I love getting my eyebrows done. I get my eyebrows done at the mall. Is it the threading? Yeah, the threading. And so many people always say to me, because I've got great Scottish brows inherited by my father, Craig Sprout.

So many people say to me, oh my God, who's your brow gal? I was like, it's Hoover's honest sisters in the mall at St. Luke's. Like I just, I'm a basic girl, 10 buck. She gets a thread in her mouth, off she goes. How can anyone in a mall afford to do anything for $10. I have, I've done that myself.

Threading is always so cheap. Ever see a shop that you're like, gotta be a front for a drug laundering. Oh yeah, like how are you here and how are you there? The restaurant I loved that was Patron Heavily has closed down. But you, sir, in your weird little business that no one's ever in, thrive!

How many people are cutting keys a day? And you've got prime real estate? That's crazy. How many of those trophies are you selling? How many people are getting trophies engraved today, sir? Anyway, so I pop into my brow place. Who's coming here to have their phone repaired? How many people broke their phone yesterday

and are turning up today? Go to the brow place, ding the bell because she's already got someone in the thing. Sit in the chair, come in and she looks at you and I say, just brows threaded please. She's like, in you come, da da da da da, how's your day? Who did you do? I lie down on the table, she's like, just threading

because they do waxing as well. I don't like waxing around my eyes because they're already starting to sag. We don't be tugging at those things any harder Turkey Turkey in a couple of years anyway So I lay down on the table and she gets a cotton threading gets a thread Comes like like, you know pears over the face has a little look at the situation And then she just goes with her finger, boop, boop, boop, in the middle of my monobrow, in between the eyebrows, boop, boop, boop.

Whoa! Was she Asian-European? Boop, boop, boop, no, Indian. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Whoa! It's like, yeah, well, that's why I'm here. Oh my God, I had to play it so cool. Like I wasn't like, I don't really have that bad.

They've been done. I honestly can never tell. Like when you're like, oh my God, I've got hair in my face. I know, I always say this because I'm like, oh my God, don't look at my beard. And they're like, where is it? Yeah, your own house is pretty.

Yeah, my eyebrows have been done, but literally they were rough as guts yesterday. I just don't notice these things. Cause you see my inner beauty. Yeah, I do. I see your inner ten and not the outer... Nine. Nine.

What just happened? Nine. I stumbled on the numbers. Well, nine to six is upside down. He was really good upside down. His number's lexic. Thank God. No, no, no.

Honestly, I mean, they were, there were some definite rogos, but... So you've had the monobrow done? Yeah, yeah. You got it. What did she do? Did she thread that? Threaded it. Right, yeah, no, honestly, I mean they were there was some definite rogos but so you had the monobrow done Yeah, you got it. What did she do? Did she thread that thread it? Right? Yeah, okay She didn't even point out how bad it was. I can do a thread When Haley comes in they have to use those ropes they use a crossfit. Yeah Right, have you ever seen the container ships when they moor? Yeah dude. The ropes are like...

See that's what they have to get around on. Tug tug tug. One on each hand. Dead. Sweatin'. Yeah. Hadoom. Hadoom.

Well look it's been fixed anyway but she really drew attention to it. Boop boop boop boop. I've told you eh before that an Indian beautician once said to me when she was giving me a ladywax. Yeah. Are you part Indian? And I said no why and she was giving me a lady wax, are you part Indian? And I said no, why? And she said, because your hair looks like her. That's um, that's high price.

No, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. I have quite thick coarse hairs and I get them removed. That's why I'm here lady. I'm just going to, should we just go? Should we go? Back away. Punch out. Walk out the door slowly.

Backwards. It's Homer into the bush. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fleshborne and Hayley. Well, last night there was a pop-up Lorde event. Cuffuffle. In Auckland, a right Cuffuffle. Aup Lorde event. Ka-fuffle. In Auckland, a right ka-fuffle.

A right ka-fuffle. And this all started with like a WhatsApp message. Yeah. So it was an Instagram story. Yes. They said Auckland. Yeah, I want to play you something. And then there was a link, a WA link.

I clicked on it and it opened WhatsApp and it said Lorde. Did you click the, dude you went into the WhatsApp. I went into the WhatsApp, I clicked on the link and it said Lord up the top of the blue tick. I didn't message. I was like. No you don't message, they're not wanting to hear from you. They're wanting to hear from Lord.

I actually shut it down, I actually shut it down and did it again and it happened again just to confirm. Right. And then apparently through that message you would learn that you were together at the YMCA on Vincent Street in Auckland's CBD. Well that's such a grungy building. It is, it's already rough as guts.

There's some, yes, there's some activity in that area. So when I saw this unfolding and I saw it was the YMCA, I was like, oh well that's, it must be a stage, a pop-up stage. Yeah. You know, a performance. Yeah, cause we were out and about. We started looking around, like where is this happening?

I was like, surely it'll be around Britomart, where we were, but no, the YMCA. And you would think, and maybe in the basketball court. Yes. Where they could be together. In the gymnasium. Gymnasium. It was in a toilet.

I can't believe I've won. Which is why it sounds like this. So people were invited in in groups. Yes. To listen. Sort of 15 minute things. To listen to the new Lorde song. So is this Man of the Year?

Maybe. Yes. So there was a few songs from the album Virgin. Yeah. But Man of the Year, the song is out today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just listening. Ooh, and a toilet?

A toilet, though. Do you know what I mean? What if someone just does a sticky shot? I'm like, yuck. I mean, it's kind of iconic. I love that she did this huge, where was the New York one? In Central Park?

Yeah. That was huge. Huge. And then she comes home to Aotearoa and is like, meet me at the YMCA toilet, and then have the same kind of like little mini experience. So the first show was 8.30, the last one was 9.30, at eight o'clock they started turning people away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think lots of people got turned away

because people were flocking there. So only select people who did the WhatsApp invitation and ticked the boxes of what was required through that were allowed in with a plus one. But other people who just turned up without it, who just heard the location but didn't do the thing, they didn't get in and get out. No bueno.

Yeah. We've got people screaming in the toilet. But what are you doing if I, like, say I was popping into the YMCA on my Wednesday night. Yeah. And I'm busting to wee. I think popping into the YMCA on my Wednesday night. Yeah. And I'm busting to wee. I think it was a high, they hired the whole space. It's not just like people use the toilets.

It's not like the gym. Oh sorry, hi guys, hi sorry. Am I able to just squeeze past you into this cubicle? Get through here please. Yeah, sorry I'm actually gonna wee my pants. And then you just hear you weeing while the song. Oh, didn't I? And you're like, what's happening?

I recognise that voice. Who is this? Yeah. And then between songs it goes quiet and you hear a hard stream. Oh, the stream and then one of those bowl ringers that escape when you're having a nice wee-wees. Yeah. Well, it's pretty exciting. This is very iconic from her.

Yeah. She's living her best life. The album is end of June, isn't it? But the new single is Today. We had What Was That? Yeah. And then we've it? But the new single is today. We had what was that? Yeah. And then we've got Man of the Year Today. Yeah.

And then the whole album at the end of, well, basically this month. Cause it's nearly June. Just to let that- Yeah, 29th of May today. Kick in. Yeah. 2025.

I'm in love with my best friend's wife. Did I marry the wrong woman is the title of this article from the Daily Telegraph in the United Kingdom. Just so you know. Yep. It's important to show your sources. That's right, that's right. I just want people to know that I use trusted sources.

Yep. So trusted. So this person has been married to their wife for over 10 years However, almost that entire time has harbored a deep love for her best friend and often reflects on this as As to whether or not he chose the wrong woman they met through university That they were best friends that whole time he's known them them both, as long as he's known them both. This is like that, what was that book that was in a movie

and then was a TV show with Leo, what's his face? One day, this is that. Oh, totally. Like they were best friends at school. So yeah, totally. And hooked up. The husband and wife met at university, she had a best friend,

best friend needed to move out of her flat. The wife, who wasn't the wife at the time, was like, can she move in? So we're in close quarters. But so they're all friends as well. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's, but you know what? I reckon this would happen all the time. The heart does what it bloody well wants to do. And this is what I wanted to ask our beautiful listeners this morning. Who did you fall in love with that you probably shouldn't? Yeah Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. Well you guys slept together. It was a tryst but she captured my heart and yeah when I had to see her be with Josh

Duhamel. Yeah. Because I am often referred to as New Zealand's answer to the Josh Duhamel. No you're more of a Teemu. Teemu Josh Duhamel. Version of the New Zealand version of Josh Duhamel. Your Josh Duhamel. Josh Duhamel. Yeah. Yeah, I know. You always think about her. But, you know, like maybe it was a best friends partner

or something like this. Or it was just, you know. Yeah. It was a teacher. You fell in love with them. Oh, goodness. Who did you fall in love with that you probably shouldn't have?

That's what I want to know this morning. My boss, someone just texted him. And this is where I would like to say to Ross Boss. But was that reciprocated? I would be up. The boss text. Was that a reciprocated love or was that sort of a one way situation?

I don't know, cause we have a hand over the face emoji and a cry laugh emoji. Oh, but good when it's pay review time, you know? Oh yeah. Like, hello. You know you technically you can't be paid for that thing you do with your tongue but I mean you can be. Yeah this is true. Okay well I'm sure New Zealand this happens all the time I'm sure there is some forbidden love. Forbidden love. 0800

dials at M we want to take your calls now. Text 3 you can be anonymous as well 9696. Who did you fall for that you shouldn't have? They're with the boss. They're with the boss. They're with the boss. We're together now and very much in love. Yes.

Again though, how good is that when it comes to pay reviews? Really good. Pay rise please, baby. Yeah. So the reason we're onto this topic. There was a sort of a agony aunt of sorts, someone wrote into the Daily Telegraph in the UK, how they have long loved their wife's best friend. And it's a feeling that

is not going away anytime soon. Did I marry the wrong woman? So we wanted to know who did you fall for that you shouldn't have? Some great messages and I also feel like some we can't really read. I liked this one. I fell in love with a 14 year old girl, dot dot dot. But it's okay, I was 14 years old too. We just celebrated 18 years together yesterday. You've been together since you were 14? You've been together longer than you haven't been. Shop around.

Shop around. Shop around. I mean, I know that's actually a beautiful love story, but shop around. Love is dead, but shop around. Like love is alive a beautiful love story, but shop around. Love is dead, but shop around. Like love is alive, clearly, for you guys, but shop around. Brenna, good morning. Good morning.

Now, who did you fall in love with that you shouldn't have? I was head girl at the Catholic school and I fell in love with my best friend, who was a girl. Oh my god, you heathen lesbian. I know, how dare I. Oh my god. What heathen lesbian. I know, how dare I. Oh my god. What would the Pope say? He'd say, remember before you die, find the right Catholic woman, they are wild.

They are wild. They are wild women. Woke or buried, what he would say. Brenna, did you act on this? Now I'm picking up the Southland accent. Was this, you know, in Southland, that would have been well-forbidden. Oh my God. Well-forbidden in Southland, naughty lesbian.

Yeah. Well, can lesbians, yeah, are lesbians like bananas and coffee plants and cocaine, they can't grow below a certain latitude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just don't thrive down here really. Actually, I say down here, I've moved back. Right, so you're saying we don't thrive,

so I'm assuming still a lesbian Brenna? Still, yeah, didn't change. Didn't grow out of it. And did you connect with your bestie in that way? Yes, yep, yep, she loved me back. We were together in secret. Oh my god. Secret Catholic lesbian affair.

Feels like post tense. Well. So it didn't last? Post tense. No, so we were together on and off for like three or four years and then yeah broke up, nobody even knew, none of our friends. Oh my god! That's like a movie, like one of those coming of age movies. So you didn't come out publicly in that time obviously?

No, definitely not. I was like leading mass of you know, seven or eight hundred people and then going to sneak out. Sneaking out and patching a woman, my god, heath 800 people and then going to sneak out. Sneaking out and passing a woman. My God, heathen lesbians. See you in hell. In the cargo bar, bathrooms, had no idea. Oh, Brenda! Wow, wow, wow, wow. Goodness.

Good for you, babes. Love that you're living your best life now. Look at you laughing down there. And God bless, actually. Yeah, God bless us. Are you still a God blesser? I'm, oh, we're a partial God bless actually. Yeah. Are you still a God blesser? We're a partial God blesser. Yeah, partial. We ignore the sort of anti-gang stuff with the religion. Do you mind having a ute being in Southland? Well thanks, yeah. We're doing our part. I've got a soon to be wife.

Oh wait, so there's... Oh okay. Have you got a ute or not? I've got a Sabaru, does that count? Yes, yes, big lesbian energy. So what a Sabaru what? Outback? Forrester. Forrester! Is it green? It's red. Oh, so gay! We love that!

Oh my god, congratulations on your wedding by the way, and upcoming nuptials. Yeah, that's awesome. for popping up the lesbian population in the carcass too, it's lovely. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only gay in the village. Yeah, you wave that pride flag. Love that, Brenna, thank you for sharing. Let's go to Jenna.

Jenna, you've got a story of someone that fell in love with someone they shouldn't have. Jess. Oh, sorry. I was like, who's Jenna? Oh, sorry, yeah, so Brenna. Jess. Oh sorry, I was like who's Jenna? Oh sorry, yeah so Brenna and Jess. I've merged the names. Did you say Jenna? I've had three hours sleep. Yeah look the dust is thick in the studio. Yeah we're off for a large fried sandwich. We're gonna do a Reuben it's gonna make today better. Look we were digressing. Jess who did you fall in love with that you shouldn't have? I didn't fall in love with him. So this is like 16 years ago and it's for a huge company in New Zealand, I won't say the name, but.

It's giving Fonterra. It's giving. Close enough. It's giving farmers department sort of, anyway carry on. Carry on, carry on. Sure there's lots of scandal there. Now, so my supervisor fell in love with our boss right, and he was married at the time and Then he divorced his wife

So there was a huge drama there and then like a couple of months later They ended up together and we started going out like four times a week or like leaving work a little bit earlier and then So it got to the point where we were only working for like three hours and then we'd leave work and my boss says to me one day have you guys checked your payslips? Like we're being paid the entire time we're out, like we're not working. And he was just like flipping it like just writing in the payslips that we were working when we weren't. Love that. Wow. Honestly, living for that.

Wow, no complaints. So thank you to my old company. Hell yeah. Wow, okay. Who we don't know, but it is giving farmers or Fonterra, but we don't know. We don't know. We don't know, yeah.

Wow. Thank you, Jess. So many messages in. Where do we start, Vaughan? I'm actually just reeling. From the lesbians. No, well, I was all for that, but that lack of productivity, you know, there's a huge turn off for me.

Yeah, I know. There's a huge turn off. I know, you're a productive man. I'm a productive guy. Jeepers, I hate to hear about dilly dallying. I started dating a girl, then I met her mum and I fell in love with the mum. I always find it wild when a parent does that to their kid. I know.

It's one thing for a best friend to do it, to another friend. But when a parent does it, you're just like, that is the lowest. My mom got with my ex, you're like, excuse her? I'd been with my boyfriend for six years when his best friend moved in, and I kind of started to develop feelings for him. I talked to my boyfriend about these new feelings because we were already a little bit rocky and we parted on great terms.

And now been dating the best friend for six months and we also all still live together. Oh, what? And we're all still best friends. They just did a room change. They did a room shift. Just shuffle your stuff across the hall. Hey, can you help me move?

Just across the, we're just gonna, I'm gonna be in your room., huck that bag of clothes. And you're going to be there. I'll just leave my clothes in here and as I wear them and wash them, I'll just, when they're in the pile, I'll just start putting them in the other room. In the other room, yeah. I fell for my son and daughter-in-law's best friend. 30 years my junior and we're still together.

My son? So this person had a son and daughter and they're a daughter-in-law, son and daughter-in-law, so they're married. And then they have had a best friend. Right. Who's 30 years their junior. And the parent fell in love. 30 years junior. Goodness. Is it giving male or female? Is it male or dad?

I don't know. It could go either way. Yeah. My brother is engaged to my ex-girlfriend, we both thought she was gay. She fell in love with him and then asked for my permission to date him. Oh wow. Which one's better? Yeah, I mean she's made her choice, hasn't she? Yeah. She's engaged to the guy.

Yeah. You went and that you'd always know that your brother beat you. Yeah, he won. Yeah. Someone just said Stacy's mom has got it going on. She's all I want and I'm waiting for so long Stacey can't you see? Play ZM's Fletchborne and Hayley

Fact of the day, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip,

dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip It's your passion. Clothing items. Clothing items. We're familiar with the Panama Hat? Oh yeah, they sell them in Panama. They export them through Panama. Technically, they're an Ecuadorian hat. Are they? How about that? Well, I've been in Panama and they have them in all the like tourist shops and stuff. Yes. They're like, look, you're in Panama, buy a Panama hat.

Yes. So they're not called that in Panama, or sorry, Ecuador, where they're actually made. Right. They are simply called the straw hat. Right. So why did Panama? Some bro up e paha to gila. Why did Panama?

Because they got exported through Panama. Oh, right. Because obviously the boats go through the Panama Canal. Never heard of it. And never heard of the Panama Canal. Interesting, haven't you? Interesting. Do you know the guy that through the Panama Canal. Never heard of it. And never heard of the Panama Canal. Interesting. Haven't you? Interesting.

Do you know the guy that made the Suez Canal had never done a canal before? You familiar with the Suez Canal? Yeah, the Suez Canal. The one that goes through the Aegean one? Yeah. Had never done a canal before. And he's just like, I'm going to dig a big long, I mean, it's technically a big long trench.

And then he tried to do the Panama one because he didn't like locks. You know where you go in and you pump it up with water and you can come up. I love watching those. Have you seen that massive one in Scotland where the boats and the river boats drove on and then it. So, yeah, they're not called that there. They're not called a Panama hat. In Ecuador, they're called Sombrero de Pajato Quilo. Sombrero Pajato Quilo. The straw hat.

Oxford Shoes. Oh yeah. Very posh, named after Oxford in the UK, where they are historically referred to as Bellmorals. Oh yeah. Bellmorals? Because of the Bellmoral Castle and the people of Bellmoral were a little bit posh

and a little bit more upmarket. But they were very popular at Oxford University. So they called them Oxford's because it was a posh university. The bikini! Is there a place called Bikini? It's named after the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands. It's where they did a lot of nuclear testing. Right.

Yeah. The word has no relation to swimwear locally. It was named in 1946 by a French designer supposedly for its explosive effect, referencing the fact that explosive atomic bombs were being tested at the Bikini Atoll. You'd need a extra bit of fabric for the third boob. You were swimming there. Yeah. From... We'll say the French, we've really forgotten about that. We've forgiven and forgotten far too quickly. For their nuclear testing in the Pacific

and the Rainbow Warrior. I know, but guys, croissant. Mm, almond croissant, maybe plain croissant, not enough. No, with ham and cheese? No, it's not enough to make up for the nuclear testing. Croque Madame, Croque Monsieur. I would have rather have a toasted sandwich. Really?

Yeah, and call it a bloody toasted sandwich. I call it a ham and cheese toastie. Yeah, but they put an egg on top. Not enough to make up for damaging what would have been, I'm imagining a beautiful tourism spot, but of course riddled with radiation. The Brazilian cut, this is the underwear or swimwear, the Brazilian right at the bum exposes the rear.

What are they calling it in Brazil? They call them bequeni or fiadental which stands for dental floss. Oh yeah, love it. Brazilian cut, they don't call it the Brazilian cut in Brazil. Fiadental. And the French made outfit. Oh yeah. Sexy French made outfit. You know, very popular Halloween costume. Not at all based on any real maid uniform in French history. It's more of an outsider's eroticised invention sexualising the idea of a French maid. And in France they just call it a sexy maid outfit. Right, okay.

Sexy maid. They don't call it the French maid. So today's Fact of the Day is all about fashion and items of fashion that are named after places that are not called that there. Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Dib, dib, da-dib, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well last night in Auckland, we went to train with a mate, the band Train. Oh yeah, you've got some. Like, like every concert you go to, you listen back to the audio and you're like, sounds terrible. Yeah, sounds terrible, but man. At least you weren't singing.

Not that you're not a good singer, but you know when you re-watched the thing and you were singing along. And I did back then. And for some reason, it was just great with all of you and none of them. No, we did, actually I did post a story where we were like, da-da-da. We were hollering. Yeah, we were hollering. Yeah, we're a little, we'd had a couple of drinks.

Oh, yeah, two in moderation. We thought we'd actually only know like two songs, but we actually knew quite a few. Great covers, Hotel California, Hey Jude, Teddy Swims, Lose Control, Set of Pipes on him. And then the beautiful Auckland Town Hall with the huge organ behind, the lights were amazing. Balcony was full. There was a moment early on when there was like Rumours of Lorde gonna be somewhere in Auckland. We were like, oh my God,

she's gonna come out for Drops of Jupiter. Imagine. I don't know why we thought that. She's bugged, I must be crazy. How old would Lorde be when Drops of Jupiter came out? Like not even born, I'd say. Cause that song is nearly must be. Drops of Jupiter was released in 2001.

Wow, okay. I thought it was a little bit older than that. So it's nearly, nearly Nearly 25 years old that song. Yeah. Obviously the last song that was played. Yeah. She was born in 1996 so she was five years old when Drops of Jupiter came out. I would say I was actually quite impressed with my crowd snaking. Because we got there and we arrived kind of just right on time. Yep. And it was really packed and we were right at the back and I was like, no, no. And so I did a little bloody handholding. There was room. We weren't like pushing through.

No, no, no. I just was like, I'm good at finding gaps. And then I found a little posse for us, which was Perth. And then we were like, kind of like, we were like, maybe we should get another drink, just one, one more. Because there was a song came on, we didn't know it, and Hailey's like, I'll go. I'll pop to the bar. And then what I always do when I'm,

especially when I'm in GA or the mosh pit, I look to the- Door, we were by the door. And I look to the door or a pillar or something, and I go, when I come back, that's where I'll find my friends. Because our friend Mike missed us by like 10 metres. I know.

He didn't do, he didn't look for the door, and he didn't look for the landmark. He lost. Yeah, always look for the landmark. Always look for a landmark. Or you look to your right and then straight ahead so you can pinpoint two sort of locations. Like a tall person. Yeah. And you're like by the tall person. But what if tall person goes for a waz? Yeah but also tall person by the door in the in the speaker tower. And then when you come back you've got your landmarks. Yeah. But so Hayiley comes back and I smell this. Three drinks. Yeah, three. Thank you.

She got us a round of drinks. I'm grateful. And then hands me a pie. Mint pie. A mint pie. Rogue, but appreciated. Like a service station pie. And she's got three pies.

She's like, I've got us pies. And I was like, Hailey, I just had the biggest dinner of my life. I've only made constant sustenance. I need to preface this by saying, we went out for dinner beforehand to the pub and these guys got these massive chicken Parmas. Oh my God. I smashed a chicken Parma, you last night bro.

And they were like Australian size, like massive. Tomato and cheese on top. Yeah, yeah. Like a proper Parma. Yeah, like a proper Parma. So it wasn't a chicken Schnitty. Yeah. It was so yum. No, it was Parma. It was a. Tomato and cheese on top. Yeah. Like a proper parm. Yeah, like a proper parm. So it wasn't a chicken schnitty. Yeah. It was so yum.

No, it was parma. It was a parma. And I got a quinoa broccoli bowl. And I said to Hailey, I said to Hailey, we don't do quinoa broccoli bowls when we're drinking. I know, but I wasn't hungry. So I did give her some chips.

I offered some chips. Yeah. I put some of these chips into my broccoli quinoa bowl and it made it infinitely better. But I just wasn't hungry then. And so when I saw the pies, and because it's not at one of the big arenas where there was like hot chips and hot dogs and stuff, there's just a pie warmer. So I was like, three of those drinks and yeah, man, three min- maybe three mince pies.

And so I'm like, I don't want your manky pie. So she starts eating this pie in the middle of the train concert in the middle of Auckland town hall. And all I can smell is mince. Yeah. I'm like, Haley the middle of Auckland Town Hall and all I can smell is mints Yeah, I'm like Haley. We're at a concert and all I can smell is mints. You're gross. Yeah, and then I just do with the other two parts Mike ate his market. Yeah I ate mine and then I put Fletcher's and I've got this little gig bag and I wear it like a bum bag Yeah, tiny little thing and I thumbed it in there and then as I sort of going along every now and then I rip off a bit of pastry and eat it. I threw out the rest of it.

No harm in a foul. Consumptive. I came out pretty well. I think I'm on board. It's like bringing a butter chicken, like mid-GA standard. You just don't do it. We were definitely like right in the middle of the entire crowd and I was like hand-feeding myself a pie. You lost anything recently, Georgia? Because Vaughan and I believe there might beM's Fleshborne in Hailey. You lost anything recently Georgia?

Because Vaughan and I believe there might be a greedy little goblin in the midst. Have I lost anything or have I gained anything? Oh! She's a goblin. Georgia the goblin. Now you're questioning what, your sanity or your memory? Memory, sanity. Or your colleagues really.

I don't know, I've just lost things within my own home and life. Like the other day I went looking for a particular set of pajamas. I'll say a nice slinky pair. I felt like being a bit sexy. A slinky pair of pajamas. Now are we talking slinky and satin and...

Satiny, lacy, little short, little cami. Don't stand too close to the heater or fire. Or I shall set a blaze. Also flannos. Not flannos, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sexy, beautiful, warehouse flannelance. It's heart and flannelance. When you said pajamas,

I thought you meant like full length pajamas. No, no, little booty shorts and a little camisole. Jesus. I tell you. The bikini version of the PJs. Don't Jesus and disgust the idea of me being a sexual woman-vorn. No, go ahead.

Your face is screwing up terribly. How dare you? I'm a nine. Do you know how Ayo told me I'm a nine? I can see it. I see it though. I can see it. No, you can't see it.

I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. Yes, yes, that's true. Wow, listen, you didn't see Georgia's scruping face there. Yeah, I can see how it would come to that. I can see how they added that up.

I can see you as a nine when I squint, like, and make you a bit blurry. If you put on a bit more effort. Well, you know, AI, when you ask it to generate a human, gives it like seven fingers and like half an hour and stuff. So I can see you're a nine to it. In their eyes, yeah. I'm having fun. Oh, no, I don't know if we are.

I'm gagging on the idea that I wanna look sexy. Fun stops now! That'd be right. 9 o'clock in the fun stops. That's what I say when I'm in a bad mood and everyone wants me to be fun. No, Fun Hailey's left the room. So is she here or not?

She's here. She's having a laugh. So I can't find them. And it's not like I can't find them and they're in a mess. They are not in my abode. And then I was trying to think, I've been traveling around a lot.

Did I take these somewhere? And then I saw a photo and I was like, there they are. I can see them there. Maybe you could leave them under a pillow in a hotel. No, I've done that. I've done that. They've been in my home since I've come home. Then I've lost, I want to say it.

This is Spencer, this is from Mucci. My black classic Mucci blazer. It's gone. Then I've lost, I want to say it, I was at the speed and service for mochi. My black classic mochi blazer. It's gone. I've messaged venues that I've been at, I've messaged hotels I've stayed at. Then I have a memory, I was like, that's where I wore it last. But did I? Or was that a different one? What are you missing Vaughan?

Cause you think there's a goblin. Um, just like little things that I'm like, I've definitely put that there. Yeah. And it's gone. Is that a different one? What are you missing Vaughan? Cause you think there's a goblin. Like little things that I'm like, I've definitely put that there. Yeah. And it's gone. And my slug gun. I can't find my slug gun. Sorry, you've lost a gun.

Wait, should that be in a locked cabinet? It's a slug gun. Okay, right. But I have lost my bazooka. I reckon bazookas are a locked item. Do you think so? Yeah. I wouldn't fit in my gun cabinet.

Morten's been living his on the bench. Yeah. How big's a bazooka? Well, the bazooka itself, I've still got, well, I'm missing two of the rockets, rockets that come out of the bazooka, but I was storing them separately. Yeah. As you were supposed to, right? Yeah.

So technically I'm missing a bazooka and three of my 10 rockets. I feel like you're taking this doomsday prepper thing too seriously. Yeah, what are you using the bazooka for? Oh, did you leave it in the bunker? No, I left it up because I was doing a clean, I was doing a spring clean of the bunker.

Right. So I bought the bazooka up and out. Because they get the dust out because that doomsday hasn't happened yet. So the bunker's unused. It gets dusty. It gets dusty. So I was dusting around the tinned peaches and I had to move the besoaker and I had to

put it aside. That he actually preserved himself 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to stay with you, we've just got peaches and sketti. Yeah. Oh god. What a delicious, what are you going to eat otherwise? Radiated hedges?

Get in the bunker everybody. Just imagine like it's the last of us and there's some zombie virus going around. I'm so sorry, I have to leave. It's just all this canned food. I just, I've had it up to here with peaches, mate. I just can't have these peaches anymore. I don't know where my stuff is. I just don't know.

And I feel like, is this the start of this sort of forgetfulness? Yeah, it is. Someone is currently wearing your pajamas with your Merchy blazer over the top with my slug gun and my bazookas. And do you know what? They'll look hot. I was just going to say they're rocked up to a boys house and they're like, what's up?

Oh my god. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. What? You are allowed to listen to a while you're wheezing. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here, I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.