ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 2nd, 2025

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: Aussie MP ADS on Grinder Teaching financial literacy in schools Top 6 - Places for ducks to be tomorrow 72% prefer the living room to the club SLP - How much do you spend on takeaways Shannon's Hack Phil Duncan - Weather update Hayley's tour and comedy festival How do you get out of working Jason Momoa is in NZ Vaughan did the ice bucket challenge Fact of the day When did your friend sabotage you See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network. This is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates. Making happy happen for pets. ZM, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Man, some insane images. Oh my God.

From around the country yesterday, yeah. Tekapore absolutely covered in snow. Yeah. Wow. Crazy. So thoughts to those that are dealing with the repercussions of that today a lot of flooding in Christchurch

that was devastating to see yeah I'll need to hose off my car quite a few leaves fell so we're all going through it and you heard

Bryn as well just mention that still a bit of wind for the wider Dapper in Wellington we'll catch up with Phil Duncan later on the show

our weather guy from weatherwatch.co.nz just to see what the rest of today is doing. And you know, tomorrow's the start of duck shooting season. We did know that. You, of course. And I am personally fizzing. I definitely knew that.

The first day of May. Okay, I definitely knew that. The first day of May is always duck shooting season opening weekend. May the third be with you. Almost. So close. Top six places to go tomorrow if you're a duck. Because I know we've got a lot of duck listeners.

Okay, and you don't want them killed. Well, not if they don't want to be killed. Okay. Of course they don't want to die. Some might have a death wish. Maybe. Yeah. Most of them, though, probably don't want to die.

Yeah, they might want to commit suicide-uck. I don't know. It kind of sucked. Oh, damn. Vaughn, that sucked. That sucked. But then Psyduck. I don't know. It kind of sucked. Oh, damn, Vaughn, that sucked. That was dark. That was dark. But then Psyduck's also a Pokemon.

Yeah. Kind of had a bit of something for everybody. Well, that's coming up in the top six. Top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow to avoid duck shooting season. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, Allegra Spender, she's an Australian MP.

It's the Australian election at the moment. When I was there, oh my god, billboards everywhere. It's election day on Saturday. Is it Saturday, is it? Tomorrow. Tomorrow they decide, yeah. Well, get out there and vote. To our Australian listeners. Who, yeah, who are up at four.

A lot of Kiwis moved to Aussie, but will they be able to vote? A lot of our, you know, Kiwis will listen to the pod. Yeah, well, get out there, have your guess. Listen to the pod. Yeah, well, get out there, have your say. But Allegra Spender, she's an independent MP for Wentworth and she has long been

an advocate for the LGBTQI plus community, has been very outspoken about it. And so when she was looking for places to advertise and, you know, pop up on a website here and there. She got a blimp. She didn't get a blimp.

She got a plane towing that sign that you can hardly read. You can only have like 10 letters. I saw an Instagram reel of a guy who flies the planes that tow the batteries. How do they take off? Dude, no. How do they take off? So I always assumed they took off towing it. He flew over with a hook and he lowers this hook out of his plane

and attaches it to this thing and then snatches it up with some elite flying. It's got this big hoop on it and he has to fly the plane low with the hook and then it hooks. Wait, so they don't take off with it? I always thought they took off with it.

Oh, I thought they took off with it in the belly of it. And they release it. Like a bomb. But this guy did a flyby with a hook and picked one up and I was like should have sent it to our

our Instagram reels group what's that thing called now when you send reels a blend and I blend our blend seems to be

very sexual I'll just say it's taken a turn I love an owl blend it's like recommended for and then it's always like

Carl Fletcher I'm like yeah I bet sometimes I'll be like thinking I'm scrolling through normal Instagram and then I'll see I'm still on Alblend

and I'll be like oh I thought something was off anyway so Allegra no she hasn't no bloody sign out the back of a plane

she's advertised on Grindr oh okay right which is the sort of the gay hookup app for those that don't know I've been looking for gay love I thought it was for gay love

you've been looking for gay love there and haven't been finding it did the profile pictures not give you a heads up that there wasn't really love wasn't at the sort of forefront of the nothing says love like a big throbber I don't want to fall in love with someone's personality to find out that they've got a love wasn't at the sort of forefront of the nothing says love like a big throbber yeah I suppose not he really loves me

I don't want to fall in love with someone's personality to find out they've got a limp situation yeah they do call it I'm a size queen you know I love a massive

yeah he is a size queen how far down this road can I go I reckon you've hit the end yeah I reckon I'll turn around and go back time to turn so yeah she's advertised

on there it says she's not on Grindr but she's got your back and it's a photo of her in a sort of rainbow outfit yep and yeah, she's advertised on there. It says she's not on Grindr, but she's got your back. And it's a photo of her in a sort of rainbow outfit. And she is. She's like, you know, going to the people that she knows that she represents and cares about. Well, ads everywhere, isn't there? Yeah, yeah.

Why can't you advertise there? Yeah, she said campaigning is about meeting people where they are and they on Grindr. It is weird when it's election time and you just find ads everywhere. I love that. Websites. She said, I know just how much our community relies on that app to communicate,

to make friends, to find love, hyphen, or just hook up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the last one for sure.

Someone's just gone to Grindr.com slash advertise. Yeah. Do you think we should be advertising? I think so. Create an ad in three easy steps if your daily ad budget is less than $1,000

a self-service platform. Absolutely we should. This show's pretty bloody gay sometimes. Yeah. You know what I mean? May I fluctuate? Yeah. No, that's not what I thought

you were saying when you said... I was like, what was you... You said fluctuate? I'm just... Oh. Yeah, my heart kind of stopped for a second. Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley.

Just some light fraud going on in studio. We've got plans. We've got plans. All right. From, apparently from year one, which is five years old financial education will be added to the social sciences curriculum in New Zealand schools.

I think it's fantastic. How does it look for a five year old to be like it's just like you put money in a piggy bank and then you know that experiment

they do with kids they put like two marshmallows in front of them and they're like if you don't eat these you can have ten but you've got to wait an hour.

All right, we'll wait an hour. And then the video camera's on the kid and then when it walks out, the kid's just like. No concept of don't spend now, spend more later. No, I don't think, I don't think that they'll start year one with, you know, GST filings. I think they should.

They should get the five-year-olds filing my GST for two months. Because every six months it sneaks up on me and I hate it. Every year of school, kids will have to be learning something. Correct. Year one to ten. Don't you wish we had that? Oh my God, yes. I mean, I wasn't too bad because my parents were so frugal

and never borrowed money for anything apart from the mortgage. You didn't buy it if you didn't have the money for it. I remember we touched on some things because I did economics. But that was high school. Yeah, not everybody did economics. That was elective. I didn't. And we touched on some things like, you know, buy now, pay later things and interest and all that.

That's what I heard about compound interest. And I was just like, these scallywags. I learnt none of that. And I remember when I left drama school, I was like, man, they should teach that at schools that create freelancers. Because we were left being like, hey, how do I get paid? Yeah. And then what do I do with that? Do I just go to a bank and flop around like a pancake in the ocean that I learnt to do for like third term?

Do I have to pay tax? Well, yeah. Dude, I knew people in smart jobs. Oh yeah, I've known people as well. And then they're contracting and then they get you in the end of the year and they're like, I thought they were taking care of the tax. I'm like, you're a contractor. I thought when they gave me the money, that was

the money that was just left for me. No, you're a contractor. You've got to take care of your own tax. I think this is so, so good. So it will start with things like learning about needs versus wants. I'll skip that one. I was sick on that day.

That's where it's going to start young. Spending versus saving. And then they get older, they'll be introducing things like budgeting for households or individuals, finances, how to work out discounts. Like, are they actually discounts? Oh, summer 30, Haiti 10.

You just try anything if you want a discount. Oh, no, I mean, I spent a good half an hour of my day yesterday trying coupon discount codes. And then he thought he found one and then, like,

denied a checkout. Didn't let me have it. What interest looks like against you and for you. Yeah. And what insurance looks like. This is great. This is great stuff.

I think it's good. I think it's so good. I genuinely really knew nothing. I just, because I didn't take economics, took all the arty-farty subjects, got an arty-farty job and then went,

what's money? Also, for those people who say we're a constant mouthpiece for the left, we just paid a compliment to a right, a central right government.

So, could you mark that down for one point for them? I mean, I could immediately negate it with 10, but I'm not going to. No, we've got one blue point. Let's just enjoy it. Let's enjoy our blue point.

We earned this blue point. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the Top Six. Oh yeah, that's me. Go Vaughan. I do apologise. Happy to do it. Happy to make it up on the spot. Go, Vaughan. I do apologise. Happy to do it.

Happy to make it up on the spot. Give it a hone. Tomorrow's duck shooting. It's the start of duck shooting season tomorrow. First Saturday in May. And I've got the top six places you should go if you're a duck. You're telling me I can't shoot a duck any other week of the year? I've been shooting ducks in January.

No, you definitely can't shoot a duck in January. Why not? That's outrageous. Who made this law? Is it to keep numbers down? They only do it a certain amount of the time? Or are they worried that if we're duck shooting all the time, we'll wipe out all the ducks?

We'll get rid of the ducks? We'll go too hard. But also, no one's eating the ducks, are they? Yeah, we used to give them to people. Oh, did you? When we'd go duck shooting. You don't eat those ducks, though, do you? Nah, they don't. I tell you what, if the trick is, you feed them up on acorns

beforehand. Nutty duck. Yeah. Adds a little nutty flavour to the duck. Nutty ducky. A little nutty duck. We need to go for duck pancakes, by the way. We do. We're going to need to go for dry and wet wings. Yeah. And we need to go for some pancakes. Sort of a poultry smorgasbord. It's overdue. We do. We're going to need to go for dry and wet wings. Yeah. And we need to go for some pancakes. Sort of a poultry smorgasbord.

It's overdue. It is. Definitely. Well, I've got the top six places to head if you're a duck because I know a lot of ducks listen to the show. Lay low for a couple of weeks.

Yeah. It's not your time. They actually can't shoot you when you're sitting on the water. Yeah. You know that? Is that the rule? Yeah, so don't take off

if you get scared. Okay. Dive down. And then if they shoot you... But fight or flight, your instinct is going to be to fly. Yeah. I'd duck. That would be my instinct if I was a duck.

Duck. It would be to duck. Well, number six on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow, a central city pond. They're not going to have the balls to rip a shotgun out in a CBD. No, you'll get the armed defenders squad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll see who gets shot on the water. What do you shoot them with? Shotgun. Shotgun, yeah. Yeah, that'll look a bit out in a CBD? No, you'll get the armed defenders squad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll see who gets shot on the water.

What do you shoot them with? Shotgun? Shotgun, yeah. Yeah, that'll look a bit out of place. Yeah. I was recently talking to a young man who was about to go on his first duck shooting season. And he said, yeah, I got the licence and I've got my gun.

And I was like, oh yeah, nice little double barrel shotgun. He was like, nah, five shot, 20 gauge shotgun. I was like, five shot? Five shot, 20 gauge. So like five shot, 20 gauge shotgun. I was like, five shot? Five shot, 20 gauge. So like, not a 12 gauge shotgun, big fatty shotgun. Yeah, right. I was like, Jesus Christ, this kid's manlier than I am significantly. Hey, it's not how big it is.

It's, yeah, it's not about that. It's how you're using it. Yeah. Thanks, mom. If you can go twice or five times, it's not a competition. You can reload. You can Mom. If you can go twice or five times, it's not a competition. You can reload. You can reload? Hey, I'm just taking a BB gun into battle, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, well, that's okay. BB guns still, you still feel it? Yeah, you're blind someone with a BB gun, aren't you? And then jump on them, I don't know. Number five on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow. Why don't ducks try a tree for a change? You'd never see a duck in a

tree. You just don't see it. Do you know, I've seen a duck in a tree once and everybody, it was during duck season and a duck landed in a tree. Everybody that was shooting was just like, I have never seen a duck land in a tree. Because they don't have the feet for it. They don't have the talons. They've got the waiting Oh, the webs. They've got the waiting web feet. Oh yeah, you'd have to find

a perfectly flat branch. You'd have to and they come in hot and they can't grab and they don't have the like braking system. Because if you see them land on the water, they still skid across when they hit it. Yeah. We saw a duck land in a tree and we were just like, wow. Amazing. How awfully queer. How very queer.

So anyway, ducks, I would use this afternoon practicing landing in trees. Okay. Because they won't see you up the tree. And then just don't quack. Chill. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow

and you don't want to get shot, Hayley's Spa Pool. Okay. I'd rather not. Lid's down. Oh, can you leave the lid off for ducks? Well, that's a safety issue. What about half a lid?

Oh, yeah, it is a safety issue. I'd have to sit out and watch it. Yeah, you could do a my-my on the deck. You could wear one of those. What are those? Ghillie suits. Oh, yes. The g my-my on the deck. You could wear one of those, what are those, ghillie suits? Oh, yes, the ghillie feet things. And just sit perfectly still

to make sure no children fall in, but ducks do. I'm happy to open up my spa pool for the day. Okay. You know, it's there. Number three on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow, go to the duck pond at Hobbiton

because I was recently there and there was lots of ducks and hobbits don't have shotguns. No, yeah, perfect. Terrible for Hobbiton, though, if people do turn up with their five-shot, 20-gauge, you know, that's terrible. You're not allowed to. No, they won't get a shoot on that pond.

Number two on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow, I reckon join a game of duck, duck, goose. Because when they're going around the circle going, duck, duck, duck, duck, and they'll say you, but everybody else is also ducks and you're kind of camouflaged into the circle. Yeah, but yeah, and people won't know you're an actual duck.

Yeah, and they will never pick you for a goose because that's racist. You never call a duck a goose. It's like asking someone from Korea if they play Chinese Whispers. That's right. You can't say that. That's racist. And number one on the list of the top six places to go if you're a duck tomorrow. That's right. You can't say that. That's racist. And number one on the list of the top six places

to go if you're a duck tomorrow, my Uncle Murray's Duck Pond. Now, my Uncle Murray, prolific. He built a huge maimai. Yeah. It's got like beds and bunks and like everything. It's got one of those things

in a bar, you know, when you hang your spirits upside down and you push the glass and it serves you a serve of spirits. That sounds fun. And then he put a photo up that the momo's all clean and ready to go. But they don't shoot ducks down there anymore.

They just go and watch golf, apparently. Him and his mates get together, drink some Jim Beam. It's a bit loud. And yeah, apparently what I was talking to mum about it, what stopped him was he didn't like the idea of firearms and alcohol being mixed. Wow, that is... Responsible. Yeah, responsible. firearms and alcohol being mixed. Wow, that is... That makes sense. Responsible. Yeah. Responsible. So if you're a duck

and you need that address, I'll drop you a GPS pin because there will be absolutely no shooting from those lads. They'll be boozed and watching golf, I reckon.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Long tease. We just got very excited about Friday Flashback today. Yeah, we've locked one in.

This song's been popping up on my random playlists a lot lately. Has it? And this artist is having a birthday today. Yes. So 8 o'clock for Friday Flashback. But right now, okay, this isn't as bad as I originally anticipated when I read the article. Because it says that 72% of, this is in America, 72% of those surveyed prefer staying in over going out. And I was like,

life's for living, carpe diem, grab life by the balls, go out. Drink it while it's fizzy, it is what it is. Here we are. We're here now. That's my new family saying, by the way. Wait, so it used to be life is fizzy? No, we've got three now. Used to be what's the worst that could happen?

Then it was drink it while it's fizzy and now it's, well, we're here now. Because the worst has happened. No, the worst that could happen then it was drink it while it's fizzy and now it's well we're here now because the worst has happened you're in the thick of things and sometimes you're overwhelmed you just go well we're here now you can't undo what has been done you can't go oh I wish I had more time

or I wish I had a no well we're here now deal with the situation as it presents itself currently me and my mum have been saying that a lot to each other at the moment we're here now anyway it's not as bad as I thought because there is still socialising involved. They prefer staying in and socialising at home over going out and socialising out in a bar or a claret. You know what? I think I would be...

I'm a little bit more on board with this now. I love when we have drinks at mine or go to yours. Totally. Or when we go to Vaughan's. Oh, that was like years ago and then I never got invited back. It's weird. Totally. And when we go to Vaughan's, oh, that was like years ago and then I never got invited back. It's weird. We just don't get invited to Vaughan's.

We just never ever get invited. I live eight minutes down the road from you. It's a very, very small house. Yeah. It's not. It's bigger than mine. It's smaller than Fletcher's apartment. It's bigger than Fletcher's.

It's got a pool and a spa pool. It's got a pool. It's got land. It's got a big deck. You've got the biggest deck out of all of us. Is it though? Definitely. I built that real shady. It's got a pool and a spa pool. It's got a pool, it's got land, it's got a big deck. You've got the biggest deck out of all of us. Is it though? Definitely.

I built that real shady. And there's plenty of room for us to stay? I don't know. There probably isn't. But isn't it much better when you have parties and hangs at friends? I love house parties. And it's cheap. That's my favourite part about it. Yeah.

It's cheaper, right? You're taking a bottle of whatever or some beers and warm wine. i'm not here to police what you're drinking but i will ask you to do it responsibly please no chinese in the bathroom no chinese but it's so much better than paying forking out for what do drinks cost these days i think i paid 17 for a pint yeah yeah like that's nuts man oh my god it's got back from Australia. That's nuts. The booze in Australia. Crazy. Anyway, that's why I only had a couple. Of course. They're saying this is a big shift.

I get it. I love this too. I love it. But every now and then I hanker for noise. COVID. Sweaty people being pushed around. No, I do. I crave being around crowds. Sticky floors.

I know. Overcrowded toilets. I love it. Coked up idiots. Yeah. Those are all my favourite things about going and finding a club. So a huge factor is money. Yeah.

The whole financial world has changed for people. Other good reasons for staying in, they say easier conversation. We're not screaming over a thing. I think that is the one thing I love. You can hear your friends. Yeah, avoiding crowds. I love turning down a stereo at a house party. Just be like, that's a thing. That is the one thing I love. You can hear your friends. Yeah, avoiding crowds. I love turning down a stereo at a house party. Just be like, that's a bit.

Turn it down a bit so you can talk. Oh my God, I love this song. I love this song, but we just don't enjoy it a lot. Because I was just actually talking to Fletch about something. So controlling the environment, meaning like music levels, temperature, no need for formal clothes. Sometimes we mooch about in whatever we're in

and you just never end up getting changed. And just general comfort. We're sitting on a couch. We're not sitting in a booth. So I kind of get this. The average person, here's a little fun stat, the average person

spends two hours and ten minutes prepping for guests. You would be less fletched because you get your chacute. But if you include, I might need to clean. Yeah, no, that would be true.

Put a meal together, yeah. Yeah. Go to the supermarket, need to clean. Yeah, no, that would be true. Put a meal together, yeah. Go to the supermarket, grab some stuff. Yeah, light a candle. So yeah, people are saying that they're having more meaningful and more fun interactions in the household than hitting the clerps. Clay, ZM's, Fletchborn and Hayley.

Fletchborn and Hayley, silly little poes, silly little poes. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poll. How much do you spend on takeaways in a week? So this is, we're talking about this because a woman in the UK has gone viral. She's 26 and I will say she's got a metabolism. Yeah. Because she...

That's going to be slowing down, babe. She has gone viral because she claims she spends 500 pounds a week on takeaways. That's $1,000. She does not eat a single meal prepared at home. So for breakfast, she will go to a local cafe for a full English breakfast. A full English! Before tucking into a meal from either Pizza Express or KFC for lunch.

How is that that expensive? For dinner, she'd either go to Nando's or Domino's. But how is it ending up being $1,000? Say you're spending $100 a day, $30, $30, $30. Her argument is she'll spend about £60 a day on food. She thinks that's cheaper

than cooking for herself. Not in the UK. The UK's got way cheaper food than us. Don't they? Or has that changed? I don't. Every time I go to the supermarkets

in the UK, I'm always like, you guys have a pretty good idea. Yeah, but I wonder where it's coming from. The meat always looks a bit sad. Oh no, we've got good meat. We've got good meat. Sad meat. But we pay for it. Yeah, but I wonder where it's coming from. The meat always looks a bit sad. Oh no, we've got good meat. We've got good meat.

Sad meat. But we pay for it. Yeah. So the poll results, when we asked how much you spend on takeaways, between zero and $50 was our most popular response.

That was 64% of people. So do you think that's like one or two meals a week? Yeah. Takeaways. This individual as well. Yeah, true. Because I could blow through that. I wouldn't be able to do the family on takeaways a week. Yeah. Takeaways. This individual as well. Yeah, true. Because I could blow through that.

I wouldn't be able to do the family on takeaways for that. No. Yeah, surely per purse. That's why you don't have kids, eh? That's why you don't have a family. Yeah. Right. We have way more takeaways.

We had takeaways yesterday. So when you go out for takeaways, do you not pay for everybody? No, it's just us. Just yourself. Yeah. Wild. All right. Between $50 and $100 was the second most popular response. It was 28 just us. Just yourself. Wild. Between $50 and $100 was the second most popular response.

It was 28% of people said that. Okay. Just under a third. Between 100 and 150, 6% and over 150, only 1% of respondees. Do you reckon people are counting their little lunch sushi, their little pitta pits? It all counts. Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't groceries. It wasn't groceries, It wasn't groceries.

It's takeaways. Dan says, too much, especially if it's Uber Eats when being lazy and not going to one of the multitude of restaurants within walking distance of where I live. Yeah. Oh, Daniel. But it is nice to have someone bring it right to your door and spoon-feed it into your mouth. Yeah, I love cold chips. Yeah, I like it when they're just sort of hardened and cold.

Yeah, yeah. Sam, it's just too expensive. Getting a decent Indian meal for the family of four is like over $50. Dude, I don't think I'd see much change from... A hundred. The kids love a butter chicken each now. Each? Oh, no.

Or I go one butter chicken and you split it and we'll air fry some nuggies and then you can do our favourite butter chicken nuggies. We do that too, actually. But then to celebrate that saving, I'll get like the most expensive naan bread and then some of those Momo dumplings. Yeah, right. So he said, what we do is we rather make

a curry at home, everyone joins in and helps and we get more bang for the buck and it's chicken. I don't trust myself to make a nice butter chicken at home. It's not the same. It's not going to be as good as my local. God no. Sigourney Weaver said, takeaways are an hour round trip. Definitely not not the same. It's not going to be as good as my local. God, no. Sigourney Weaver said, takeaways are an hour round trip. Definitely not worth the effort.

Easy to do. Friday takeaways with some Teagle Takeouts. Teagle Takeouts. I've still never tried them. Teagle Takeouts. Oh my God, yeah, they're amazing. They're so good. They're so good. But I can't eat them now because they remind me of lockdown. That's the reason I do. Oh, is it your sort of go-to? Yeah. That's the reason I do eat them.

Lock us down again. Lock us down again. Okay, so this girl's name is Michelle Sarah, but of course she could be also Sarah Michelle Geller. Yeah. Do you think she's talking on behalf of her and Freddie Prinze Jr.? Yes, Buffy the Vampire's not her.

Freddie Prinze Jr. We're bougie. $60 in takeaways, pizzas for two people, then a couple more takeouts on the weekend. Mel says, prefer to go out for dinner instead and actually eat in the restaurant. I assumed this was included. This is takeaways. That's takeaways.

That's eating out. No, that's not takeaways. Oh, we should have said eating out. Nah. Oh, we should have said takeaways slash. How much time are you eating out of here during the week? Heaps. A family of five between 50 and 100 for one meal easily.

A family of five. Absolutely, you blow through that piece of cake. A family of five. You should have stopped it, just the two of you. A week, says Pre-T. Who in God's name can afford takeaways every week? It's a solid once a month treat in this household. Wow, budgeting.

Good, good budgeting. Good for you. Daniel, what the actual F? Why so high? I'm like zero to $30 a fortnight or every third week for takeaways. Budgeting, That's good. Good budgeting. Good for you. Daniel, what the actual F? Why so high? I'm like $0 to $30 a fortnight or every third week for takeaways. Budgeting, that's good. And Tanya said, I hate cooking, so takeaways happen a couple of times a week. Always Thai or Nando's, though.

So not real takeaways. I think you've just described exactly takeaways, Tanya. That's like exactly what takeaways are. Thai takeaways is a New Zealand classic. Yeah. Okay, that is today's top. No, it's not. It's a little poem.

Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Time for Shannon's hacks. She has yet to hit a five star. Why don't we just briefly discuss what was making us laugh

there as we came on. We were talking about spray tans because you've had a spray tan and Fletch, are you contemplating a spray tan? Well, no, because I was saying you like, this is, normally I see people with spray tans and it's orange and it looks too much. No, shout out Tan in the City because they're amazing. But they've got a nice formula.

As in the bases are green? Yeah, the bases is all whatever. But see, that just looks like you've had a couple of days of sun. Oh, no, because I was really tanned and it's all fallen off. And then I said to Fletch, look, I'm Fletch tanned. And he said, maybe I'll get one before I go away in mid-year. But then he had questions regarding... Well, you've got to stand naked in front of strangers.

I don't stand naked in front of strangers. I go full nude. Do you never stand naked in front of strangers? He's a never nude. You're a never nude. I'm a never nude. And you've never seen a stranger naked, nor has a stranger ever seen you naked.

He's a never nude. I'm a never nude. A stranger, there's no such thing as a stranger, just a friend he hasn't somethinged yet. He's a never knew. I'm a never knew. A stranger, there's no such thing as a stranger, just a friend he hasn't something yet. Met. Met, yeah. No, that was my question. And then he said, I said, when we got it done years ago,

for a thing from the radio. That was an automated machine. Did they not panel better us? No, it was an automatic machine. And we got paper g-strings. And then you said, but your doodle fell out the side. And I said, that's because you're wearing it backwards. He's like, obviously.

Where is it supposed to go? It's very thin. Oh, look, I don't know how these things work. Guys, can we? Okay. Shannon's hacked. Shannon's got a hack. She's yet to hit five stars.

She did one to be redacted. One day she will. One day she will. You've got more faith in her today than you usually do. Well, let's see how you fear after this hack. An AI hack, Shannon. Yes. So you know how when you Google on your phone a question?

So for instance, how many species of sharks are there? We now get on Google. Wait a minute. How many are there? Well, AI pops up with 500. Now, sometimes I will say this can be a little bit useful, but sometimes it's annoying. I want to go direct to a website I can trust.

I want to know who I'm getting this information from, not just like a generalised answer. It's for her bibliography. Not her bibliography, her... Encyclopedia. No, no, when you put it at the bottom. APA referencing. Yeah, your references.

The reference system. Yeah, I think sometimes you just want to get your sources correct and you need to triangulate your sauces, right? She's really hitting you. This is impressive. She just said triangulate. She's talking about like sauces and how you need to, you know. Barbecues, tomatoes, relishes. Oh, God's sake. Grow up.

Best Foods Comedy Gala hosted by Hayley Sproul tonight. More jokes like that. Sponsored by mayonnaise. Is that a sauce or a condiment? Condiment. Yeah, agreed. You stupid idiot. No, no, no. I'm not condiment? Condiment. Yeah, agreed. You stupid idiot. No, no, no. I'm not saying it's a sauce. Well, it's dumb that you even had to ask.

How embarrassing for you. Tomato is a sauce. I'm going to throw. I will throw. Sweet chilli is a sauce. I'm going to throw myself at you. Carry on, Shannon. If you would like to get rid of this AI option in these circumstances, all you need to do is put a swear word in your searching.

So how many effing species of sharks are there? AI will not answer it because AI does not like, it's a prude. We know this. How many species? We'll put the swear word in. So you need to do it on your phone, on your laptop.

Okay, wait, I just did, I actually did, I did auto-correct and it said, how many species of kiwi are there? Oh, R9. There are five recognised species. So hang on, let me just change it to how many species of kiwi are there oh there are five recognized species so hang on let me just change it to how many effing effing i believe it's more for mobile where it consolidates it but yeah on laptop it will sometimes it worked the first one is a reddit

thread then a buzzfeed thread and then uh remember when miami zoo had a kiwi? A couple of news stories about that. So this is a way to just kind of oversee AI because it refuses to deal with aggression or anything sexual as well. So you could put a scandalous word in there. But if you just put any swear word in your Google question, AI will not answer it. Ta-da. I just put how many slutty species of kiwis are there.

And again, same thing at work. It didn't like the sex well. It didn't like slutty. It didn't like that. It's a prude. How prudish is it? Put in skanky. Okay.

How many skanky species of kiwis? AI. Wow, so skanky is okay a lot. There are currently five recognised species of kiwis, all native to New Zealand. No word how skanky they are. No word on the skankiness. The most of kiwis were sk skanking, which of course is the

dance you do to ska music and Kiwis love ska music. See, I do like the AI summary, but we know that AI isn't there yet and sometimes it's misleading. And because you don't know who it's pulling from. That's what I always am curious about. Like, if

we're talking about Kiwis, what if it's Miami Zoo riding that and AI takes from them? We can't trust them with our Kiwis. I love this. I just put in how ing old is Carl Fletcher? And it didn't... Which one? There's a football player.

There's a famous football player. That's why, do you remember that time the internet thought my net worth was like $5 million or something? Yeah, and everyone was like, hey, player. No, dude, it was way more than that. It wasn't like $67 million? I wish. It was insane. something. Yeah, and everyone was like, hey, player. It was way more than that. It wasn't like $67 million?

I wish. It was insane. Yeah, me too. I wish you were worth that much money. Okay, I don't like that she's given us a good hack. And what are we going to do now? We're going to have to award this four stuff. I kind of want to do four. I feel like I've got to ask within myself,

am I only giving a four point something? Because I am reluctant to give the five? But this fizzed me. And it makes me laugh too. I love asking. I don't think it's a problem enough people would be facing for it to be a five. Yeah, it's not solving a major issue.

If you said this to my mum, it would have just washed straight over. I'm going to go four though. Four stars out of five. I'm 4.3. Wow. Wow. That brings up the five. I'm 4.3. Wow. Wow. That brings up the average to more than four.

Before when I walked through the producer's booth to go get a coffee, I was threatened. We don't need to share this. I was threatened and blackmailed by Shannon. Were you threatened and blackmailed? So I will also go four. But that's a one-time blackmail star offer. No, you don't give blackmailers an inch.

They'll take a mile. They'll take a mile. You don't give them four stars. It's an average of 4.15. That's incredible. And Vaughan, our blackmail is evened out. I've negated the blackmail.

What was the blackmail? I edited a thirst trap of him. Not a photo thirst trap. A video thirst trap. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, he hasn't slept. He's been looking at the rain gauges and the wind dial thingies and the maps. I mean, it's not good weather, but I'm sure he's loving it, Philip Duncan.

Philip Duncan. Hello, hello. Good morning from weatherwatch.co.nz. What a crazy few days we've had. Yeah, it's been another kind of strange past few days, just like it was around Easter time with all that severe weather. It's been off and on after the first three months of the year were so quiet. So what can people expect today and for the weekend, those that are in? Let's start in Canterbury first.

You know, there's a lot of flooding there. What can we expect today? Yes, a lot of that rain's now being pushed into the southern part of the North Island, especially around wider and upper parts of Wellington. It is still raining or showers around parts of Canterbury, but the good news is it gradually eases across today and so do those very, very strong winds that are blowing around as the low-pressure system kind of drifts out towards the Chatham Islands and in comes a massive high-pressure zone.

And I mean, this thing's huge. It's bigger than Australia. So that means we've got... Jeez! So we've had rain, wind and snow and now we're about to have, what, a week of blue skies? Basically, yeah. I mean, this rolls in sort of Saturday, Sunday, maybe Monday will be the day when it goes nationwide.

And then it takes all of next week to kind of move through. But next weekend, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but there could be another low next weekend. It's not locked in yet, but we're at that time of year where, yes, summer's coming to an end in the sense of the summer weather patch. What? Wow, okay.

So what about today, Wellington and Wairarapa, you mentioned rain, also wind as well, because the ferries have been cancelled until tomorrow. Yeah, because, Philip, about 20 comedians are all flying into Wellington tomorrow for the Wellington Comedy Gala. Are we going to make it? Oh, I hope so, because the windy weather today is gradually easing back. But this is a really long wind event.

There are very few places in New Zealand, including Wellington even, that has winds as strong as this sustained for so long. So it's going to gradually unwind across today and by tonight and tomorrow morning, it should be looking a lot better around New Zealand. It still might be a little bit windy with a few showers, but back to kind of like the normal old New Zealand that we know and not quite so severe. So hopefully, yeah, hopefully we'll be able to get down there. But today could be a bit of a slow day getting those flights back to normal again because it is going to stay sustained at Galeforce for quite some time. Do you have any crazy stats over the last couple of days?

Like you mentioned Wellington hadn't sustained that much wind for that long? Yeah, I mean, it's been two days now of basically gale force winds and gusting way over that. 150 K gusts that were recorded on the top of the mountains or the hills around Wellington. That isn't too abnormal, but what makes it different to other times

where that number's been recorded is normally that's a nor'wester where it gets squeezed through Cook Strait, goes over the hills, and that's the wind that they record. This wind was just being generated naturally out at sea and was coming straight off the sea. And so that made it extra strong to be seeing those kind of winds

down at sea level. Normally you get that up on the top of the hills. So a little bit different. God, I was watching those poor reporters that they kept on sending out with their hair ripping out and signs blowing over. I've got to say, Abby Wakefield did an amazing job on One News last night. She didn't make a mistake. She did this incredible update.

It didn't make one mistake. I also wouldn't begrudge her if she was standing under an awning, you know? No. You know, like she's still outside, but just a little windy. Or just inside with a window behind her. Yeah, yeah.

We would have seen the wind. No, she did do good. Just the perfect amount of hair as well. It was great. It wasn't all across her face, but it was really giving the feeling of just how windy it was. So we're getting a little bit of a reprieve from this. Yeah, it's just a very slow wind down.

The storm's got quite powerful over the last 24 hours and it's moving away from the country now, so that's the good news but it takes time to do that and also as that big high starts to come in it kind of, they interact, the high and the low so when that happens as it sort of pushes in as the high pushes in it starts to make

those southerlies a little windier so even though the storm's moving away that's kind of the reason why it's taking so long for those winds to disappear because as the storm moves away they're also sort of ramping up at the same time. One step forward, one step backwards kind of thing. But by tonight, it should be a lot lighter than it is now, or at least by tomorrow morning. Well, comedy shall prevail in Wellington.

Otherwise, the comedians might have to take a minivan from Auckland to Wellington tomorrow. Oh, kill each other. Philip Duncan from weatherwatch.co.nz. As always, thank you so much for your amazing knowledge and information. My pleasure. Thank you for having me on. And do you have a trampoline discount code for everybody that lost theirs in Wellington? Phil 10.

Phil 10. Try that. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Today is, well, technically Wednesday, the New Zealand International Comedy Festival launched with a few preview shows. But tonight's the big launch at the Best Foods Comedy Gala. Wednesday night was Fletcher's debut of Turkish Rug Merchants. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And boy, I tell you what, five-star reviews across the board. A couple of walkouts. A couple of walkouts. A couple of walkouts. But they were actually people who thought there was going to be rugs. Yeah. It wasn't this in-depth carry-through.

They thought it was a sale. They came with cash for tea and rugs. Yeah. It wasn't this in-depth character. They thought it was a sale. They came with cash for tea and rugs. Yeah. They didn't get it. Yeah. But yeah, tonight's the big comedy gala, which of course I'm hosting. And let's not brush over the fact

that hosting the comedy gala is, it's a big deal. It's a very big deal. And you've been very stressed. I've been really stressed. But I'm excited and I'm ready and I'm excited and it's going to be good. Well, I'm not quite ready.

Filming of it is tonight, but when does that air on? That still airs on television. I think this year, and this is terrible that I don't know this, but this year it's airing a bit quicker than usual because sometimes it would be a bit delayed. But yeah, they get the whole show tonight and then they'll get the TV edit over two nights very soon to watch and enjoy and then it's going to be a great night.

You guys have been witnessing some of the prep, the stress prep, but also yesterday I was rhinestoning some socks. So look out for those. You're going to have some glittery socks. Yeah, I just sort of thought the socks were a bit boring. So I bought some rhinestones. I've been stitching those on.

And then today I've been plucking out my chin hairs all through this show because I don't have time to go and get it done professionally. I don't know why you're bothering. Like, you're not going to notice. Yeah, it's a, it's a, my soul knows that I'm going to be around. Right, so it's just for your own. Yes, just for me.

I'll get there. So I'm very excited. And then next week my show launches in Wellington and all that kind of stuff. I'm so ready, ready to go. But yesterday, if you missed it, guys, I'm touring. I am touring across the country. Okay. And I'm actually going to be Hay touring. I am touring across the country. Okay.

And I'm actually going to be Hayley's roadie for some of these. Yes. I'm actually going to be the set-up crew. Yeah, I know. One thing I experienced in Australia is that doing it on your own sucks. Right. Just having to just deal with it all on your own. Wait a minute.

Hold on a moment. Are you flying him around the country? No, it's at his own cost. No, it's at his own cost. Oh, it's at his own cost. Well, I'm out. You don't want to join me on any of them? Well, no, if you're flying me around the country, name your spots.

Right. Of course, I'll be pretty picky about what spots I go to. Yeah, this is weird. I'm not getting paid, although I'm sure I'll get paid in maybe a Nod dinner or something. No. Oh, that's not.

What about a couple of cans or something? I'll buy you a couple of Codys. Okay, okay. I don't want to. All I know is that he drinks Long Whites exclusively. Okay, well, get you a pack of Long Whites. Well, listen, if you want to... One box of Long Whites has got to do the whole tour, though,

so don't go crazy on it. Oh, yeah, the rest of it, you have to... Are you driving or are you flying or...? Flying, flying, flying. So I'm obviously doing Wellington next week and then Auckland the week after as part of the comedy festival. But then in June, I'm coming to Christchurch, 6th and 7th of June. Then I'm going to New Plymouth.

Fantastic. Which is where Fletcher's going, oh, did Christchurch, you're having a good time. Fletcher's coming with me as a true friend. You're not even coming to the gala. I'm going to go help people. Whatever. Sorry. I'm coming to New Plymouth in August.

I'm going to Hamilton in September. Dunedin in September. Are there more places? Yes, there are, but I can't announce it yet. However, hayleysbrow.com if you want to come and see me live. Oh, she's got a website. My new show, The Baroness. It's going to be a real fun time.

Yeah, and it's named The Baroness because it's about your want to marry Donald Trump's teenage son. That's right. Is he a teenager still now? I don't know. How old's Baron Trump? You better ask how old is effing Baron Trump, otherwise you're going to get AI. 19. All good.

I just turned... Jesus. You want that money, don't you? You want that billions of dollars. Here we have a bit of money, Baron Trump. I don't know. Once this old man's in prison and it's all been spent on lawyers, there might not be a lot of Mr. Rowe.

Oh, yeah, true. Well, I'm very excited to tour around New Zealand. It is a beautiful country. HayleySproul.com. HayleySproul.com for those tickets. Because she's got a website. Because I've got a website. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Well, we took a few days off last week to make that mega long Anzac Easter week. All right. And while I was away with some friends, we met a friend who was from Mexico City who came down and joined us and was working from home while he was holidaying with us. Ah, one of these types. One of these types, working from home. And to be fair, he did do like a lot of meetings.

There were like Microsoft Teams and stuff. And there were times where he was like busy, locked away in the room working while we were not working and on holiday. But at one stage, I went in to where he was working. I'm doing air quotes. I can feel them in your voice. And I noticed that there was a large spoon on the computer trackpad.

And I was like, what are you doing with a spoon? Because obviously the Airbnb is under my name. I don't want any cutlery going missing. What, he's going to pocket that? He's going to pocket that spoon? This wasn't a BYO spoon. This wasO spoon. This was B&B spoon. This was a B&B spoon, dessert spoon, large spoon on the track.

I said, what are you doing? He's like, oh, if I leave it on the trackpad, it looks like I'm typing. And so in Microsoft Teams or whatever he was using, the cursor was flashing in the text box. So it looked like he was on his laptop working. And so if his work- He's like a little margarita in the spa pool.

Yeah, if his work was looking, they'd see he's active. Ah. And I was like, that is outrageous. And our friend Ryan, who was also with us, said his friend in Australia opens up Microsoft Word, because that's part of the whole work computer, Teams or whatever, and leaves a banana on the space bar. Is it because it's off

balance? No, he'll come back and there'll be like 47 Word document pages of just space bar. Because the banana is heavy enough. Does it tell someone that he's active? Yeah, because he's like working in a document. This is some BS.

So I was like, and you know what, I just have to respect these little hacks because they're brilliant. Yeah. I mean, it's not like we can ever slack off with our job. We have to literally be here talking. It's very active. But if I had a job in an office, oh my god, I would embrace these

little hacks all the time. Same. Oh guys, look, I'm a bit under the weather. I'm going to work from home all week. I don't want to get anyone sick. Well, I knew someone that had a job, an office job, and they would constantly watch. They'd have their iPad at work and watch Netflix. Well, just like beside there. They were like dual screening headphones on, Netflix on.

And then I'm guessing moved their mouse to make it look like, and because they're in a cubicle with a door or whatever, no one could ever see. I was like, it's amazing it is wild but i thought maybe there maybe you've got a job maybe we could take some calls uh or you've got a little way of getting out of working maybe your workplace is so large there's a place where you can nap oh like a sneaky nap like a sneaky nap place dude imagine if there was a utility cupboard here with a sneaky nap spot there are a couple of utility cupboards downstairs in the basement area

in this building that I've seen that if I was here 9 to 5, not 5 to 9, I would definitely sneak a nap. Because maybe there's a plan. I don't know, maybe you're on the road for work and you can just pull over and have a nap. Someone anonymously says, stop it. You are giving away our secrets. So it's just texted, shut up.

All of these I would embrace. I work on the road and I go home for lunch once I've finished my visits. And sometimes lunch is two to three hours because I work so fast. So then I have a nap and I do house things at home and then just checking again at the end of the day. But if you can get all your work done in the morning.

I always make masks. Dude, you've got on you. Totally. My friend in London used a credit card jammed in her keyboard and works. Oh yeah? So it just holds down like buttons.

Just jam a credit card in like the corner of a credit card. This keyboard wouldn't work. It's a click. You'd be just a waste. You mean you could you put it between

the actual space bar and the wedge. Yeah, that would work. And it just jams it on. Get one of those remote mouses and carry it around the house with on. You get one of those remote mouses and carry it around the house with you,

lying in bed watching Netflix and just move and click the old mouse every now and then. I like the moment where somebody doing that during lockdown, they'd just play with their wireless mouse as they were all like fidget with it as they were watching TV. Well, that's a dangerous game though. You don't want to be accidentally clicking and sending emails. And then you start screen sharing and turn on your webcam

and then you're nudies watching telly. See, Teams is a narc. With no inputs, it sets you as a way. So that's why you've got to keep something going. I don't know. I've never used Teams. That's why I think he had the teaspoon on the trackpad. Just to be present.

On, on, I'm in. Right. You can buy a wobble board on Teemo. Yeah, I've heard about these. And it'll move your mouse around all the time. For every rule a company makes, there's a way around it. So swipe in with a mate, then have them swipe out. Record show you entered the building.

Go for a sleep in the sick bay. Migraines can be three to four hours long, just long enough to punch out Maverick on Amazon Prime. Jacob! Do you know that's Top Gun Maverick? Are they talking about Top Gun Maverick? I think it sounds like it, yeah. Hours, yeah, sort of work day.

Do we have a sick room? We've got a wellness room. Wellness room? Do we? Yeah, I of work day. Do we have a sick room? We've got a wellness room. Wellness room? Do we? Yeah, I went there once. And then I went in and there was someone breastfeeding and I was just like, I can't leave because it makes it look like

I didn't really need to be here in the first place, but I can't stay here. Yeah. What did you go for? Schnoz? Just chill. I just wanted to nap. I think you were going to go to the gym

and you were doing something else and we had to come back for an interview. I was like, a lot of people are doing anything. Have a nap. I'm going to go and check out this wellness room. And your people are wanting to stay very anonymous with this. Yes, they are. Who was it that said, because nobody in the workplace knew them

and they didn't have friendships outside of work, so they said they had a kid. No, no, no, no, no. They never specifically had a kid. They said their dog had a human name. Oh, okay. so they'd say I've got to go Thomas' in the sick bay

but Thomas was like at canine puppy school puppy school or whatever and they're like oh Thomas is a bit upset I've got to go Thomas'

oh my god my beautiful Thomas my boy Thomas yeah Thomas' shat all through the kitchen yeah yeah yeah if I ever move to like say I move to London

and I got a job in an office I'd just make up a whole family. Oh, sick kids. I'll be in it a living. It might seem really unrealistic, but I'm a 43-year-old man with all of my grandparents. Yeah.

And they keep dying. Over the next couple of years, I'm imagining we're going to lose some of them. And, of course, they all got separated and married again. So, technically, I've got eight grandparents. Oh, yeah. Step-by-step while my step-nans died. And of course, they all got separated and married again. So technically, I've got eight grandparents. Oh, yes. Step-by-step. My step-nans died. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know how close I am with all of my aunties. Huge Dutch family. It's rough. It's rough. Anonymous, you've got a hack. A lot of people

have messaged about this one. What is your tip to slacking off work? Oh, is this safe? Yes, it is. Oh, okay. Sorry, Anonymous. I know that it is. Oh, okay. Sorry, anonymous. I know that, yeah.

No, that's right. So my hack is, if you start a Teams meeting with yourself, it'll put your Teams status in a call. If you click that and then change it back to online and then just stay in that Teams meeting with yourself all day, you will keep showing up as online on Teams throughout the whole day.

Isn't there a way, though, that your manager or the IT narcs can see that it was a meeting just with yourself? I don't know how Microsoft Teams work. I just email. I don't know anything else. We don't know. Yeah, we use... No, they don't really like, well, my work anyway, they don't track it that closely. I guess at least they can log into your teams

and see your previous calls and stuff. Because also if you're not getting your work done. It just comes up. Yeah. Well, that's also a giveaway. But yeah, it just shows up as online. Yeah, a lot of people message that. Instead of disappearing to that yellow dot.

Yeah, a lot of people message that in. Thank you, Anonymous. I had really brave Anonymous, actually. Yeah, that was brave. Brave for standing up and speaking out. Someone said, Anonymous ain't getting away with shit. We can see everything. Oh, no!

Okay, really? Maybe they're a little bit more looksy-looksy than Anonymous because as she's getting all her work done, there's no need to look into what she's doing, right? Yeah. Friends in London several years ago had a job for the city council to straighten bus signs. They drove around in a council car

and one of them just hung out the window with a spade and smacked the sign straight as they drove past. Far out. It took them two hours rather than the eight hours that the previous people doing their job had taken. So they went and played football in Regent Park for a few hours and then went back to work and were still early and they were like, man, you Kiwis work hard.

We do. We do. We hang out the windows of cars and smack signs straight. With a spade. That's actually the most Kiwi way of doing things. They just like, boof. Yeah. We don't need to get out of the car.

That'd be a waste. Someone said there's an app you can download called Mouse Move and it moves your mouse for you. Wow, okay. This is next level. School counsellor, I'll shut the door to seem busy and have a little lay down from time to time. Okay.

That's nice, though, because you've got the counsellor's couch. It's a waste of time. You're always in the seat. You could have a lay down. You can deal with teenagers. It's fair enough. Yeah. Put your feet up, babe.

Meanwhile, in local government, we're being restructured out of jobs and are working at least 10 hours extra a week trying to catch up now. Yeah. We hear that. We hear that. We also hear it for the people that have messaged in. It's pretty hard to skive off work when you're a nurse and if you do, someone might die.

So, again, we hear that. We hear you. Thank you for your service. We hear you. Or when you're an entertainer, you know what I mean, and what people are going to drive in their cars in the morning, bored, you know, so for us as well. I don't know, man.

I don't know. I think that was a bit much. I think that was a bit much. Because we can't scythe off. Because what, we're going to leave people just listening to music? We were just finishing people working 10 extra hours a week and then nurses who are always like working long, hard shifts. I work at least 10 hours a week.

I work at least 10 hours a week as well. I mean, me too, but I don't know. I'm just kind of, I think, no I don't know. I'm just kind of... No, don't clap. I reckon we just... You are basically the banana on the space bar. I'm not the banana. You are the banana on the space bar of the nation,

Hayley Sproul. Play Zed-Ems, Fleshborn and Hayley. Now, we've spoken about this a couple of times this week because the Ice Bucket Challenge has returned in 2025. You're not dreaming. The youths are doing it. I saw my bestie's daughter do it and I was like, this is crazy. She was like,

I know. Yeah, my kids did it but they did it with a bowl. I wasn't home when they did it because I wouldn't have stood for it. Yeah. What did they do? Just a bowl of cold water. It's called the, it's not called the bowl of ice. It's literally in the name. It's not called the room temperature water challenge. Out of a bowl. You've got to have ice.

Bucket challenge. You've got to get a big bucket and fill it with ice. Yeah. Anyway, I racked up one of our friends the other day, and then a few hours later, her son had challenged me to the ice bucket challenge. Yeah. And I was like, I see what's happened here. This is because I was mouthing off.

Yeah. I've been dragged into this. See, I didn't do it then, and I won't do it now. I just... I'll do it only because I think it'll make my boobies look nice. Okay, right. And it's cold.

Yeah. Well, you've been challenged because I recorded it after work yesterday. Okay, redact, redact. Take it back, take it back. And I challenged you two to do it. Oh, I'm not...

Don't be stupid. You look good though. You look good, man. You look good. Are you worried that your little nipples are going to go even littler? Yeah, because they... And they'll look like freckles. They'll look like freckles.

I did, yeah. Because I did post the other week of my nipples and somebody commented, ah, tiny nipples. Teeny weenie. There we go. Listen to them, Han. You've got lovely nipples. Thank you.

Between us, we've got three average size nipples. With my distance and yours. I've got average size nipples. Hayley and I have got average-sized nipples. Hayley and I left yesterday. But after we left, you did the ice bucket challenge. With ice in a giant bucket. Not room temperature water out of a bowl, children. Now, if you go to FVHZM, any of our socials,

the video of Vaughan doing the ice bucket challenge, I'm just, wow, look at that. He's got his shirt off. So I'll tell you what happened. Well, I wasn't going to do that. I only bought one pair of clothes to wear. Why did you put the writing over the abs, Shannon? She's put the subtitles over the abs.

Oh, that's all right. Oh, you also, yeah. Oh, no, you can see some abs there. I'm just watching it. Yeah, the abs are in. The seps are sep in. Ponamu on. Tau toko. Okay, I'm just fast it. Yeah, the abs are in. The seps are sep in. Pounamu on. Tau toko. Okay, I'm just

fast forwarding to where the ice goes over. Oh! Yeah, that's good. Look at that. There's a lot of ice. Do you know how much a bag of ice costs these days?

Yeah, it's expensive. Remember $3 bags of ice? Nah, $7. $6.50 is $7 now for a bag of ice from the servo. I know. I'm going to say,

do you know who's going to love this? Sophie who loves the phoners. Why is she going to love this? Your friend. Well, I was getting my nails done the other day and she was like,

oh, Vaughn, eh? Because Vaughn, as we, you know, Vaughn came and attended one of my nail appointments the other day and we were hanging out just as genuine friends

and she was just saying, she was like, Vaughn's looking pretty good. She's going to hate that I'm saying that. Her husband's like a bodybuilder. Her husband is a bodybuilder and she said,

you're looking good. Why would she want this pudding if it makes it better? Pudding. Pudding. Daddy wires us up on the internet if it's pudding. I tell you what, that video's going to get some traction, isn't it? I don't know. Add to story.

Add to favorites. I actually went out there to record it with Shannon and Carwin. There was two. It would only take one of them, but they both wanted to to come i'm not sure why that would be okay perhaps perhaps telling yeah and i just took off my clothes right outside the studio here in the dry part of the ground yeah and i walked out of my undies and they were like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa it was confronting it was confronting my co-worker. It was cold. I was worried for you. And I did say to them, how much of a pump can I get on before?

Yeah, exactly. He's pumped. Yeah, I know he's pumped. Yes, we were outside, but there were windows and our security guard wanted to come join and then reception and they were wondering why we had a bucket. It was a whole thing. Yeah. But you look great.

Thank you. But I'm glad we made you put on shorts. Made you put, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Because as you said yesterday, do you remember the people that would pour the water over themselves and the water would drag down the undies? Yeah, so many people got down the trail.

It was so cold out there. It was, yeah. It was so cold. Even the ice was so cold yesterday. Wasn't it cold? Isn't that cold front coming up? Wasn't it cold? I think you look just sort of

how you normally look in a warm room. It was cold. Yeah. No, it was definitely cold. Yeah, you can see it. No, that's not normally what it looks like. But also, you've got to leave something for the OnlyFans, you know? Yeah. It's definitely cold. Yeah, you can see it. No, that's normally what it looks like. But also, you've got to leave something for the OnlyFans, you know?

Yeah. Well, pick it off. Yeah, there's no feet in that. Your dad's looking good. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Well, if you want to see Bourne doing the ice bucket challenge and the body transformation there. Also, when you do the ice bucket challenge,

if you are challenged, you don't need to take your shirt off. If you want a before and after, you just need to find the video of when we did the FVH Live last year. No. Because that was 20 kgs ago. That was my biggest as well. Wow. Let's not go back there.

That was a real eye-opener for me. Okay. Well, FVH ZM to see that. It's been a while since I've touched base with my mate Jason Momoa. It's actually been... It's been a long time.'ve touched base with my mate Jason Momoa. It's actually been... It's been a long time. If I look at our private messaging, it's been a while between messages.

Has the gap between messages coincided with his super new hot girlfriend? She's not new. She's been around for a while. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's been around for a while. I've just re-watched Andor season 1 because she's in Andor season 1

May the 2nd be with you May the 2nd be with you Pause the 2nd for May the 2nd Guys, I like that you're trying I appreciate that you're trying but she's in that She pretty But luckily so am I

The delusion is alive in 2025. So am I. Oh, what do they call those? What have you just said? I was going to say there's a better name for them. Oh, no, that's what they're called. So, Jason, what? You pulled your hair down.

Hayley wrapped it. I mean, I forget sometimes people who are listening can't see what we see. I imagine every listener is seeing through my eyes. Yeah. Well, our cameras are actually broken at the moment. Whee I imagine every listener is seeing through my eyes. Yeah. Well, our cameras are actually broken at the moment. Whee! Hayley went wee with her fringe and pulled it down the side of her face. Well, our cameras are broken at the moment.

I knew we weren't being filmed today and I'm running on empty, so I just turned up looking like a trash bag. Do you know what I mean? Whatever. Are they working, Shannon? Oh, that's not fair. I just looked at myself in the mirror this morning and said, don't worry about work today, Hayley.

The cameras aren't working. Oh, damn it. I'm not going to even wear a bra. Whatever. Anyway. So Jason Momoa, you know, he loves New Zealand. He's been very vocal about it. He comes here all the time and films and hangs out and whatnot.

No stranger to Queenstown. He loves it. We saw the place where he stays while he's there. Oh, yeah, we did. On the side of the hill. On the SS Coleslaw. And we saw it, didn't we? Yes. Yes. On the side of the hill? We were on the SS Coleslaw and we saw it didn't we? Yes. Yes. On the Coleslaw.

What a day. What a day with you and friends. Beautiful day. I will say it's called the Ernstler and it's slightly disrespectful that you would speak of a lady her age. Oh Coleslaw is the herpes on the lip. No that's Cold Sore. Well which one's Coleslaw? The one that you get the tub of.

Yeah you get the tub of at the alley. No, I get a bottle of urnslaw. So apparently, according to multiple sources, I love that they say the 45-year-old, Jason Momoa's house hunting at the moment in Queenstown, looking for a place to purchase. Because do you remember a couple of years ago, there were all those headlines that were like,

Jason Momoa's homeless! And he was like, well, I'm not homeless. I just don't have a base at the moment. He had his divorce and then he was travelling the world with his son. He's a busy dude. Korea, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, he's looking for a place to buy. Yeah, so he's been here recently, which is crazy I didn't get a message to be

like at a pay-em in the country. It's a very quick flight down to Queenstown for me. Also, if anyone ever sees him, they message you. So it's weird he slipped in and out without anyone seeing him. Yeah, he's here. He was walking a dog

near the airport. Wait, he's got a dog? Yeah. Or he's walking somebody else's dog. He's got places here because he's got a truck here and he's got bikes here. He's got a lady.

But he's also bought into a bar in Queenstown as well he's also bought into a bar in Queenstown as well. He's bought into a bar in Queenstown as well. So he's really like planting some roots down in old, the beautiful South. So this is our announcement is Fletch, Fawn and Hayley will now be broadcasting from the NZME Queenstown studio. Really? We as a group, as a team, are relocating to the beautiful Queenstown studio really we as a group as a team are relocating to the beautiful Queenstown region

just so you can constantly stalk him not stalk bump into organically bump into organically bump into cause like I'm top of the

and one of those orchestrated organic meetings orchestrated organic that's a real spin on the stalker isn't it organic meeting stop stalking anyway cause I don't know if there's any films in the pipeline Organic meetings. Orchestrated organic. That's a real spin on the stalker, isn't it? Organic meetings.

It's not stalking. Anyway, because I don't know if there's any films in the pipeline, do you know, that are filming here with him. Right. So he'll be coming back for this business venture. And they're just very bored, just doing nothing. You're doing nothing. Yeah.

Well, you know, do me. Well, expect us. What did you just say? Hayley. What? Play. ZM. Fletchvorn? Hayley. What? Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. For long-term listeners of the show or intent listeners of the show lately, you may have picked up on the fact we've been like really hot in studio. I'm freezing. I fixed the air con and I don't want to go too far the other direction. No, shut up. I'm so cold. I'm not.

I'm warm. I'm warm. They had like humidity meters in here and the hot, the most humidity was like 92. 92.2. 92.2%. 92.2%. We've been screaming about that. And 28 degrees.

And 28 degrees. So it was like, and then I said, I'd made a joke, we could grow ferns in here. And I think Shannon researched and found out it would actually be too hot and too humid for ferns. Yeah. And now you're too cold. And now I'm too cold.

It's cold and dry. Hold on. Start bringing a jumper to work because we can't go back out of the lab. Yeah, I think I will start bringing a jumper to work. All right. As Pope week here at Fact of the Day. As next week, is it Monday, the papal search begins. Pope Idol.

Again, I mentioned yesterday, Pizza Party is my pope of choice. So his name is Pete Zatparty. No. Oh. Somebody messaged me saying the guy's name is Pete. His first name is Peter. And his last name is Party or something. And that's why they call him Pope Pete's Party.

Anyway, he might be the next Pope. And the next Pope will be the 267th Pope. Today I'm just going to hit you with a whole lot of Pope facts. Okay. Pope facts that you can take into the weekend or remember for next week when the Pope stuff's all in the news and you can hit them with some facts. Are we doing trademark week next week? Did we decide on that? I was going to say owl week next week when the Pope stuff's all in the news and you can hit them with some facts. Are we doing Trademark Week next week?

Did we decide on that? Owl Week next week. Oh, Owl Week. All about owls because I met an owl. I met an owl. You met an owl. I met a ruru. Oh, they're beautiful.

So beautiful. And those, are those Harry Potter ones? They're cute. So did you know, oh, no, I'll tell you next week. Yeah, save your facts for Owl Week. And plus, only because where I went and met the owl, the people in charge of the falcons were like, you should do a week on falcons.

And I said, I prefer owls, and you should have seen their face. Really? And then they were like, I can't believe you just said you prefer owls over falcons. I said, well, owls fly silently. I mean, this could be another fact of the week. Yes, so save it all for next week, owl week. It's sort of like a spite fact.

Yeah, okay. Next week. Right. Okay, so there has been 266 popes so far. The next will be the 267th pope. Oh.

Nice. Oh, yeah, we're close. We're getting close. I hope we're around for the 269th pope. Oh, we will be because they put them in place so old.

Oh, they always get old ones. They get old ones. Okay, I will get to that about the older serving popes. One of the 20s will just keep them for like 80 years. I've got a few. Both just wait for a moment. Let's do it. Let's brain fletch.

Let's brainstorm some more facts and let them dry. The first pope was Saint Peter. Yeah. And he started 30 years after Jesus died. AD. After death. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Because he came back. Nobody, technically. And then where did he go? We were at a papiatus. After that. Do you not know the story? AD after death allegedly allegedly because he came back nobody technically and then when did he where did he go we were at a papayatus after that do you not know

the story he ascended into heaven and then the holy spirit fell in it or something like that I don't know that was what happened afterwards

allegedly coyotes did you say sources claim wait did you say coyotes coyotes dragged the body out coyotes Jesus came back from the dead but they went on a bush walk

and unfortunately coyotes saw him as an easy meal yeah he went on a he went on a canyon run in Hollywood yeah yeah

the longest serving Pope is Pope Pius the 9th served the 3rd and for those who saw me absolutely cock up the Roman numerals yesterday by thinking the 4 the V was the 10 X is the 10 Served for 30, and for those who saw me absolutely cock up the Roman numerals yesterday by thinking the V was the 10, X is the 10.

So Pope Pius IX served for 31 years, 7 months, and 23 days as Pope. So that was the longest serving Pope. The shortest serving Pope was Pope Urban VII. He reigned for 13 days, and then he died of malaria before he could even be properly coronated as Pope. Bummer! But he was celebrated as a Pope. Should have been on a doxy every day. Should have got on a doxy.

Or a gin and tonic. Gin and tonic. I'll keep the bozzies away. The youngest elected Pope was Pope Benedict IX, who became Pope as a teenager. We talked about him earlier in the week. His family kind of bought him the position. He sold it to his godfather and he was all sorts of shenanigans.

The oldest elected pope was Pope Clement X. He was elected at age 79. Nice. In 1670. So he was 79 once he started. So dusty. What are you going to do?

What's the youngest one? Have you done the youngest one? Yeah, we just did it. We literally did. Oh, okay. Just did it. Just did it. You tuned out.

You were thinking about those coyotes, weren't you? Yeah, of course. Do you prefer the pronunciation coyotes, weren't you? Are you going for us? Do you prefer the pronunciation coyotes or coyotes? I really like to hear an American say coyotes. Do they say coyotes? We had an ease. I think the coyotes is the traditional pronunciation.

I could be wrong. I'm more looking forward to owl wake, to be honest. You're looking forward to owl wake? Yeah. As a not religious person? Yeah. Well, no. I just looking forward to owl wake? Yeah. As a not religious person? Yeah. Well, no, this is, I just feel like it's an interesting history.

I've been looking at this as a historical point of view more than a religious point of view. I think it's been good. I was raised Catholic. And I've been trying to get heavily into religion. It's hard, but I've... It's hard with your lifestyle. With my lifestyle.

Trends have been moving away from traditional organised religion, but you're like... Well, you know me. You're anti-trend. I buck the trend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're looking to get back into it.

So today's fact of the day is just a whole bunch of facts about popes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Has a friend ever tried or successfully sabotaged you? Well, I'm in the midst of this right now. I wanted the last song we played today to be Train's Hey Soul Sister. No, that's a bit hard. And Fletch, my friend, my dear friend, my best friend, is telling me we won't do it. And I'm like, but it's the perfect song to finish. I mean, if you...

And take off the jams on Friday with Georgie. I mean, if you really want it, I... I'd really like to. I don't know. Am I alone here, text machine? Do we want to hear Train's Hey Soul Sister? No. You know they'll get behind you.

Ross just said no, thank you. Ross Boss says no, that's hard, no. You know they'll get behind you just to spite us. Ross just said no thank you. Ross Boss says no, that's a hard no. Come on. It's got a ukulele. See, now I want to play it because Ross doesn't want to. Let the power of the people. Lipstick stains.

I'll put it to the power of the people. That's a jam. Joe, good morning. When did a friend try to sabotage you? Sabotage. Oh, hi. Good morning. Good morning.

Well, this was when GHD's first came out. And I had a friend that said to me, oh, you don't need those. Your hair's lovely without them. And looking back, I seriously did need them. So I was going out with really frizzy hair. And I'm sure it was a ploy to keep my hair looking bad. So they could look better next to you.

They could look better than you, Jo. I think so. Do you wear your hair, can I ask, because when GHDs first came out, straight, straight, straight, straight hair, right? Like that was, we were all doing it. Yes. How do you wear your hair now?

Well, I still have, I curl it with GHDs because otherwise it would still be a frizzy curl. We're a frizzy joe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I think people say they've got frizzy hair and they've got the loveliest curly hair. I'm like, what are you worried? No, I know.

And Vaughan's trying to sabotage you there. Yeah, this reeks of sabotage. Joe, I would have done that to you, Joe. I'm jealous of Joe's hair. Joe, thank you. Mike, you've been sabotaged by a friend. I absolutely have. So it was orientation week for me back at university

some years ago now. Yeah. And I was pretty excited about the gigs that come week. This is University of Canterbury, really good gigs. Yep. This is back in the days when LMNOP were a thing. Oh, yeah. It's 11.57.

Okay, good stuff. Did any covers band play trains? Hi, Soul Sister of the O-Week. So I'm really excited about these gigs, about O-Week, starting uni, and I'm working with colleagues at a department store. One of these colleagues who I would have considered a pretty good friend until this point.

Yep. His parents, one of his parents, happened to work in the healthcare sector. One of these colleagues who I would have considered a pretty good friend until this point. Yeah. His parents, one of his parents happened to work in the healthcare sector and had access to what I'd describe as industrial strength laxatives. Okay. Oh, shut it. Shut it. One of those was popped into my water whilst at work. And needless to say, I had a reasonably unpleasant night. You shit your pants at LMNOP!

No, you didn't even get there! No, I did actually get there and I managed to push through. Don't push! Don't push! Never push! What was his reason for putting the legs in of it? He didn't want you enjoying a concert?

Apparently he was just frustrated at the fact that I'd been looking forward to this gig all week. Wow, he's sabotaging your happiness. Just pure joy. He has someone upset at your pure joy.

Wow. Amazing, wasn't he? And that answers the question. It's not just the woman. It's not just the woman. Sabotaging their friends. Thank you, Mike, representing the men.

Morning. When we were teenagers, my friend, let's call her Sharon McKnight because that's her name, said that her parents said that her parents had visitors, which meant I wasn't able to come and stay the night at her house. Fair enough.

Now, I was actually going to stay the night at her house because we were all supposed to be going to the basketball disco. But because I had no place to stay, I couldn't go because I lived out of town and my parents wouldn't come and get me at night. Yeah. Turns out Sharon still went to the disco and she told me her parents had guests and I couldn't stay there because she wanted me out of the picture so she could snog someone. Let's call him John McLaughlin because that was his name. John McLaughlin.

So she wanted her gone so she could have John McLaughlin all to herself. John McLaughlin. Sharon. Enough man for two. Sharon and John. Wait, did she actually snog John McLaughlin? I think she snogged John McLaughlin. Sharon. Enough man for two. Sharon and John. Did she actually snog John McLaughlin? I think she snogged John McLaughlin.

Guys, that's got to be text of the week. We haven't done it. That's got to be text of the week. Text of the week. Okay, text of the week. And that is all thanks to Animates. We'll give you a $50 Animates voucher. Making happy happen for pets.

Yeah, we're going to come back more soon with more stories. A friend. Georgia Bird, has this ever happened come back more soon with more stories. A friend. Georgia Bird, has this ever happened to you? I've done it. You've got good friends. You've done it. I've done it.

Remember Bebo? Who did you sabotage? Remember Bebo? Yeah. He used to give love. Yeah, yeah. Well, my best mate had more love than me, so I deleted the love I gave her

so that her love went down. Oh, grow up. Georgia! Hey, don't act like you didn't do that, Bizzo, either. Can't be a love Scrooge. Can't be a love Scrooge. that bizzo either. Can't be a love Scrooge. Can't be a love Scrooge. Yeah, no, you can't be a love Scrooge.

No, but if they're beating you in love, you want to show people you've got more love. It's not a competition. You don't blow out somebody else's candle to make yours glow brighter, Georgia. A rising tide, there's something all about. Lifts all boats. Lifts all boats.

Yes, seven, eight, me did, okay? So, insecure. And you're better now. I am. Is she? Am I? I'm just posing the question. Yeah, no, no.

That's a good question. We can't just say it without really knowing. Well, if Bebo was around, we'd see. So some messages in. When I graduated high school, my parents had no money, so I found a really cheap dress on eBay to wear to my graduation, but one of my friends told me I couldn't get it because she had bought the same dress,

but it turns out she hadn't. And she didn't even show up to graduation in that dress. What the? She just thought you'd look amazing in it. So she's that, to graduation in that dress. And she just, she just thought you'd look amazing in it. So she's like, oh, that's low. My former best friend made me invite my crush to my farewell party when I was moving overseas.

Later that night, I walked in on them having some hankies and pankies with my friend and my crush. Not and pankies, surely just hankies. I'm sorry to say there was hankies and pankies. That's devastating. Do your parents still love hankies?

I think my parents still love... Oh, right. They'll laugh hanky chiefs. They'll rock a hanky. I rock a hanky every now and then. No, I don't know. I love it. My passed away papa's hankies.

Handed them down to me. I washed them. He's snotting in them and now you're snotting in them. And it's an honour. It's an honour to do so. It's an honour. I told my friend about my PhD project. yeah and the what i was going to do for it then i went to tell my supervisor that this is my idea for a phd she told me oh i'm

sorry you can't do that someone in the class is already doing it with my friend no jesus you slammed the disc so hard my mic is so hard that is outrageous that's that's PhD, by the way. That's not just like English assignment. That's wild. Yeah, that's crazy. Okay, so now I'm done with that topic. Never trust anyone ever. No, never.

I'm done with that topic. We're moving on. We're moving on to our second topic of the break. He's upset because Ross Boss has come in. Ross has. And said, you're not allowed. I was like, look at all these texts. Look at these texts of people that want to hear Trans.

Hey, Soul Sister. To start off George's Friday Jams. Yeah, well, because we've got to start it off the way we want to end it, right? Sing it. And it's good. That's a good, it's a banger. It's a good, it's a good. We want to start off singing.

So he said there needs to be more texts. And I said, how many more? And he said, a hundred. And I said, that's ridiculous. A hundred. So if you want to start Friday Jams with Traynay Salsasar. Just text him. Any manner of support.

Maybe even you could call. Maybe we could chuck some calls on. Or just like message a derogatory message to Ross. Because he'll be reading them. He'll be reading them. Tell him what you really think. Yeah, I reckon bombard his personal Instagram. Why not take it straight to the source?

Ross's phone number is. I wouldn't do that. Okay, well, Georgia Friday Jams today. with... Why not take it straight to the source? Ross's phone number is... Okay, well, Georgia Friday Jams today, if people are listening... Oh, we're not going to play it straight away? I want to play it now.

But he's giving you a chance to show I'm just giving you the chance to tease Friday Jams if people are listening and they want to request a Friday Jam

and use a funny, silly name. Some of these are really mean to Ross, actually. They're flowing and thick and fast now. I do feel a little bit like we're being able to pull it off. Let's pull it back. If you've already said one, then that's okay.

You're forgiven before we do it. I haven't heard that for a while. Old coot. I haven't heard that. Actually, to be honest, Ross is a great name to rhyme with. There's some good. Yeah, Ross Moss. Yes, train by Ross.

Ross Moss is a toss. Yeah, that's a goodie. There's a goodie. Oh, you can't say that on here. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. It's a top question. You are allowed to listen to it while you wheeze. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast.

It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.