ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - May 5th, 2025

Episode Date: May 4, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: Today on internet history Butter prices are getting extreme Top 6 - Other things Donald Trump thinks he could be Hayley's reappearing sunglasses Democracy sausages Married couple go viral for not living together SLP - Has Trump put you off traveling to the US? Laga Gaga free concert in Brazil When did you have a superglue incident? Hayley's Koru car blast Met Gala run down Fact of the day Why aren't you talking to your family? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Horn and Hayley's Big Pod, brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Horn and Hayley.

Thank you, Brinnifer. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh,ne and Hayley. Thank you, Brunifer. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleach, Horne and Hayley. May the 5th be with you. May the 5th be with you. And also the 6th. It's Revenge of the 5th. Like the Revenge of the 6th. That doesn't make any sense.

It's not even a clever... Revenge of the 6th. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Hayley and I are trying to bring in some Star Wars to the show. This is all you ever want. I'm here for it, guys. I'm here for it. This is what you want. Please. There's no pleasing this you ever want. I'm here for it, guys. I'm here for it. This is what you want.

Please. There's no pleasing this guy. Honestly. I know I'm very pleased. We won't even bother. I love that you are. But I, you know,

yeah, may the sixth be with you. May the fifth be with you, Fletch, but not with you, Vaughn. Oh. I appreciate the Star Wars reference. Thank you.

Thank you, Hayley. I love Star Wars, so I just love any reference to Star Wars. I just love that we're bonding over this the top six on the way it is

Donald Trump shared a AI generated image of him as the Pope and he said yeah I'd love to be the Pope is he Catholic? no not even Catholic

he's just troll he's the master troller oh god it's wild stuff guys it's wild stuff so he is just putting his hand up for that role. Yeah. Really upsetting some Catholics, I think. I bet. I've got the top six other things Donald Trump could probably, he thinks he could probably be.

Okay. With a simple art of Photoshop. Next on the show, though, a little Today in the Internet history. It's 18 years. I saw this over the other weekend. It's 18 years since an iconic moment. Charlie bit me. Not Charlie bit me, although that is 18 years. That's 18 years ago. Is it?

This year too. God, 18 years ago. What a good year. Yeah. For internet. Some say a champagne era. Oh. A champagne era of internet.

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Today, in internet history, it is 18 years since David Hasselhoff was videoed by his then 16-year-old daughter and by my calculations, that means she's now 34 years old. Jeez. 18 years later. Am I right on that?

18 plus 16 equals 34. Well done. Good maths on the fly for you. Basic maths there. And if you're not familiar, this was when it was covered. And this is the other thing. It was filmed in 4x3.

Now, because it was filmed on a camera phone in 2007. Of course it was. It was 4x3. It was 4x3. It's not a 16x9 situation that we're rocking now. If you don't know what that means, it's not. She was holding her phone. It was square.

But it was way more square. Like when you watch an old Seinfeld episode or something. And it's 4x3. Or Sex and the City or Friends. It was 4x3. So this is the coverage of when it went down. ...television program Entertainment Tonight obtained this exclusive videotape and distributed it to CelebTV.com.

The video, reportedly shot three months ago in Las Vegas by Hasselhoff's 16-year-old daughter Taylor, shows the star lying on a floor wearing only a pair of jeans, eating a hamburger. Dad, you need to promise me you're not going to get alcohol tonight, okay? What? You need to promise me you're not going to get alcohol tonight. What?

At this point, he's writhing on the floor. The poor guy just wants to eat his burger. Dude's got to shut up. When I'm pissed and I've got a burger in my hand, don't interrupt me, man. It's almost impressive because he's shirt off, leaning on an elbow,

lying on his side, picking a deconstructed burger apart with his other hand and swaying and obviously boozed. That's an iconic video. So he was saying, after I was just reading

an interview from that year, like afterwards, it was a wake up call. He was drinking too much and was hurting his family and all this kind of stuff. But he was like, also like that was supposed

to be private. Like how did that, how did that get on the internet? Yeah, his daughter did him dirty. Yeah. It was kind of interesting how big this thing has blown up because it was really just a private matter between me and my daughter. A lot of love and respect for her and da-da-da-da.

Very embarrassed by what happened. But, God, it's so funny. Just that, like, we've all seen a mate like that. Yeah. Oh, he's got my nuggies. He's just going to have my little burger. Iconic video. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley.

People are pissed at the price of butter. I know this is not sexy content. Yes, it is. It's hashtag hot content. It's hashtag hot content. Hot content. Butter content. So prices for butter have risen $3 since January.

Some places, some supermarkets, $12 a block. Isn't that insane? It's just milk. I don't get it. It's just milk. It is. It's milk and a churn. It's $12 a block. Isn't that insane? It's just milk. I don't get it. It's just milk. It is. It's milk and a churn. It's milk.

And a bit of salt. It's mixed milk. And sometimes it's unsalted. And sometimes it's salt. We don't put the salt in. Here we go. And it's from New Zealand. I just Googled price of butter New Zealand.

The Woolworths brand butter, salted, $8.19. So when I was at the supermarket yesterday that was the cheapest one I saw. Great Aida's cheap. Spoiler alert. It's the same thing.

It's just milk. It's exactly the same thing. It's milk from the cow's tip. It's just milk. And it'll be from a posh one of the

factories that does the posh brands. They just put a different wrapper on it. I do love a Lewis Road butter. I don't know why

it's different. It's exactly the same. It's just milk. No Lewis Road might be different. Yeah the milk's different. I think they've got a different factory. They've got bougie cows. I think they know why it's different. It's exactly the same. It's just milk. No, Lewis Road might be different. Yeah, the milk's different. I think they've got a different factory. They've got bougie cows. I think they've got posh cows.

They've got English cows that wear monocles. Yes, yes, yes, and they go squiz from my tit. Yes. I like that. Creamy and rich. Now churn it. So anchor butter, that's 500 grams at Woolies. So the same as 11. Get out! Mainland butter, semi soft. So that's butter, that's 500 grams at Woolies. So the same as 11.

Get out! Mainland butter, semi-soft. So that's the spreadable stuff. It's not going to rip your white bread to bits. $16.50. Get out! That's rocking at $3.30 per 100 grams. That's insane. I don't use, I'm not using

a lot of butter at the moment. I'll use it when I do eggs. Because butter is just better with eggs. Better than oil. Yeah, way better. If you're doing baking, you could easily rip through half a block for a cake or biscuits. Imagine being a bakery. Imagine for a moment that we're a bakery.

Pastry. You can't make pastry without butter. Pastries, brownies. So the price of pies and sausage rolls is going to increase. See, now they've got people that were like, well, I don't buy butter. No, you don't. That doesn't concern me. Butter's in things.

It's in everything. Butter, while it is just milk, is the petrol of the food industry. Yeah. The price of butter goes up, the flow on effect is everything else goes up. But flow on effect, there's everything, everything else goes up.

But why? Because it's from here. I don't get it. I don't understand either. I'm going to need someone like Bad News Brad to explain this to me. A milk economist.

Because it's like down the road on the farm. I know. I was like, should we chip in on a cow? I got cow. Well, not goats, but that's feta. Do you guys like feta?

Love feta. Yeah, but I don't know how you make, that's cheese though, isn't it? I don't know if you can make biscuits with feta. It's a process. The butter's easy. You just churn milk. Can you make goat butter? I think so. Well, there's goat feta, right?

Yeah, that's cheese. So you must be. But I was reading an article today in the US because egg prices are so insane. People are renting single chickens and putting them in tiny little coops in their backyard. Oh dear. Yeah, it's not good. I mean, some people are letting them roam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you're a bit off. But you just hire one and then at the end of the week, you get to the weekend, you've got seven eggs. Even in Australia, I couldn't really get my hands on some eggs. Yeah. I was trying to buy eggs to cook for myself. Crazy, yeah. Okay, I've Googled, I found an article and I copied and pasted it into ChatGPT. Yeah. I was trying to buy eggs to like cook for myself. Okay, I've Googled, I found an article and I copied and pasted

it into chat GPT. Yeah. It's bullet pointed for us. Okay. Why prices are rising. Global dairy trade prices. They're up. But we're not trading,

it's here. No, I know, but like, you get so much more money to send it overseas. No, but let's just us eat it. Yeah.

Let's us eat it. I'll commit here, listen, I'll commit here and now to eating more butter if it overseas. No, but let's just us eat it. Let's us eat it. I'll commit here, listen, I'll commit here and now to eating more butter if it helps. I'm also willing to eat more cheese. Oh, but wait, no. Vaughan's parents are the ones selling the milk. No, they don't do it anymore.

They don't do milk anymore because they sold their milking. We could have done with it. We could have done with it. But they raise other people's cows. We could rustle. We could rustle one. Who's going to notice a cow goes missing?

The three of us. Let's rustle the cows. Now, where are we going to put them? Well, I've got a small backyard. Perfect. Where do we buy a butter churner? That's the least of our problems. I've got a Nutribullet.

It'll do the same thing. I'll just put the milk in Nutribullet. That'll be whipped butter. Whipped butter rules. Whipped butter. Yes. I'll put whipped butter on toast. And we can put some like, for the savoury ones,

we can put some like chives and stuff in the water. When are we going to do this? Because I'm away this weekend. So we need to get down to your parents' place. I'm away this weekend too. Okay. But I'moury ones, we can put some like chives and stuff in the water. When are we going to do this? Because I'm away this weekend. Okay. So we need to get down to your parents' place. I'm away this weekend too. Okay. But I'm going to be with them.

So I can... Okay, so you've got to get the cow. Also, we need to milk this thing every day. That's right. We already get up early. We can just leave it outside the window. When I used to milk cows, I got up later than when I get up for this work.

So I'll just do it. If you allow me 20 minutes to be 20 minutes late. So each morning you're going to come to my house. Wait, is it going to be blue top? Because I don't do green top. No, of course it's going to be blue top. No, it's going to be blue. Oh, okay, good.

It's not pasteurised, not homogenised. Okay, good. Fresh butter. Looks like we're stealing a cow. We're stealing a cow. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page,

this is the top six. Well, he wore blue to his funeral and has now said, yeah, sure, I'll be Pope if you guys want me to be Pope. And over the weekend, Donald Trump shared, re-shared an image of him as the Pope, an AI image. Yeah, and said, yeah, I'll do it. If you guys really want me to, I'll do it. Do you know what, though?

Like, a number of years ago, he would have been like, I'll be the president. We were like, ha, ha, ha. Well, we did. Remember when Obama roasted him at the press correspondence dinner? And here we are. Second time around. Here we are. Well, I've got the top six other things Donald Trump thinks

he could be with the help of AI. Number six on the list. Do you need a quickies this morning? A little burp or something, babes? You sound like you need a burp, sweetie hon. Do you want me to come over and burp you?

No, I think I've got... Huh? I could do a bit of a burp like a baby. Just got a slightly sore throat. Not cold sore, just a little bit. Right sore.

Okay. Okay. We'll take some aqua. Just have a drink of water there and get on with it. Number six on the list of the top six things Trump thinks he could be. With the help of AI. Garfield the cat.

Actually, could be. Who likes Mondays? No one likes Mondays. Loves lasagna, hates Mondays. And kind of has the right color hair already. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other things Donald Trump thinks he could be. The greatest wall in China.

He could be a wall. Not just great. The greatest. Greater than the Great Wall? Greater than the Great Wall. The greatest wall. Jeepers. He could be the entire wall seen from space.

Number four on the list of the top six other things Trump thinks he could be. The president of Greenland. Probably doesn't even need AI. He just thinks that. He just already thinks that. We sort of want to just take over everywhere. Grab that, yeah. Denmark's like, no.

No, we don't want you. You don't get it. Don't know if that's how Danish people talk. Yep. Sorry to all of our Danish listeners. But we do love your pastries. We love your danishes. Oh, great pastries.

What's the best fruit to have in the middle of a Danish? The blue one. Apricot. Oh. Me, it's apricot. Raspberry. Peach. Yeah, raspberry. Peach.

You don't see a peach. You don't see a peach Danish often, but when you do. Peach galette. Delicious. Is that what they're called? I don't know, but yum. Yum. Yum.

Oh, mind you, Danish's will be going up in price because of the butter in the pastry. I'm hungry and all we talked about is butter and pastries. This is upsetting. Number three on the list of the top six other things Trump thinks he could be with the help of AI are Katy Perry's co-pilot astronaut in space. Yeah.

There's a couple of astronauts. He'll go to space, eh, Trump? Do you reckon? Nah. He'd be too old. I don't know if he'd... Too old. You have to pass

a whole lot of health tests, right? Yeah. I think so, yeah. Because what is he, 80? Yeah. Is he 80? Is he 80 or is's about to be 80? No.

Or he's going to be 80 in this term? He's 78. Okay. So by the end of this term, he'll be 80. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things Trump thinks he could be with the help of AI. Aquaman. Probably.

And the body, his body and Jason Momoa's body. Pretty similar. Interchangeable. Take the head off one, put the other, you'd never know. That's my type. That is your type. That was hard to say. Yeah, yeah, really.

You've kind of choked on them as they came out. My type. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things Trump thinks he could be. And to be honest, I am waiting for him to float this idea. The fifth president on Mount Rushmore. He already has floated this idea. Seriously. president on Mount Rushmore. He already has floated this idea. Seriously.

He has. He has. It's just that there's so many crazy ideas I can't keep up with all of them. And which ones are real and which ones are...

And I don't know when he's joking or not. Yeah. Because when he's joking it's in exactly the same tone as when he's not joking. No, I don't think he has a sense of humour.

I think everything is said in earnest. Well, he's come out now and said I was joking about being Pope. But it's not funny. The Pope just died. Yeah.

Have some respect and wear a black suit. He wore a blue suit to the thing, didn't he? So are you finding the Mount Rushmore story? Yeah, there was a bill

to add Trump to Mount Rushmore that was introduced to the House by the MAGA people in January. Oh my God. Yeah.

Imagine it. Oh my God. Imagine it. Play ZM's Fleshborn. Imagine it. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Something bizarre is happening in my life. So I, you know, I have a nice pair of Karen Walker sunglasses. Yes.

I don't wear them that often because they're too nice. What's the point of wearing them? Because I'll just shove them in my, I'm the kind of girl that will shove a pair of handbag glasses in until they snap. And then I'll be like, oh yeah. What,

are you, you're not rule dogging your Karen Walkers just bangling around your bag? No. No, okay. But this is why then I don't wear them.

Yeah, okay. So they just sit at home. So I always buy $20 glass and sunglasses. Okay. So then when they break, I'm like, no biggie.

No biggie. And I'll, I'll move on. Yeah. So then when they break, I'm like, no biggie. No biggie and I'll move on. Yeah. So there was one style that I really, really liked and I bought three pairs of them.

Oh, okay. 60 bucks, three pairs of glasses. I know I'm going to smash through them. Yeah, and that's the thing, they'll be out of fashion,

they won't make them anymore. Yeah, exactly. If you like them, just buy a couple. This has happened to me so many times with lots of different things. Where you're like,

I need that. Yeah. And then they go. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just like just buy a couple. This has happened to me so many times with lots of different things. Where you're like, I need that. Yeah. And then they go. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just like, well, it's like when Fletch buys 20 of his FlexiFit hats at once. Yeah. Well, they're the only hat that fits. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. And now I'm in a situation where I'm back in beanies. Yeah. But at the end of summer, I was just really holding on to the last of that hat because I can't find, they've changed the recipe on that hat. This is why if you find a good recipe, you've got to buy a couple.

You've got to buy a few of them. Yeah. So I did this with these black sunglasses from Glassons, right? Then I left a pair in, where was I? I don't know. I left a pair somewhere

and I remember I came home and I was like, damn, I know where they are. Yeah. So I'm down to two pairs. Okay. Right? Then there's one pair that sits in my car. They're in the little thing so that at all times,

if I didn't have them in my handbag, I'd be like, ah, they're in my car. So there's one, there's two pairs, right? Then I had my third pair that was normal. Now, when I was in Melbourne, they snapped. Oh, okay. Because I flicked them up on my head. Right.

And they're cheap. Wait, you flicked them up on your head and they snapped? Yeah, big head, Big ball head sprout. So they snapped. Then I was like, damn. So for the rest of Melbourne, I was wearing a different pair of sunglasses that I don't like. I come home. So that's the third pair.

Yeah. Broken, car, lost. Yeah. I come home and I was putting away all my clothes. And then I see a pair of these sunglasses. And I was like, oh, there's a pair of these sunglasses. And I was like, oh, there's a pair of those sunglasses. I wonder which pair they are.

Then I was like, they'll be the car pair. I've obviously worn them in the car and I've brought them inside the house. Can I say this is a big dad with his prescription glasses energy. Just buying the cheap ones straight off that prescription rack

at the warehouse and just grabbing like six of them at once and just scattering them throughout his life. When my dad buys glasses, he buys 10 of the prescription ones from the wheel and 10 of the sunglasses and we just lose them all and then we replace. So I was like, okay,

this will be the car pier I've brought them in. Then I went into my car. No, the car pier's in there. So the lost pier, the car pier, the broken pier, now there's a fourth pier, it's turned up. And I was like, how bizarre. So I was trying to put this together. I was like, they must be the broken pair. Now there's a fourth pair. It's turned up. And I was like, how bizarre. So I was trying to put this together. I was like, they must be the lost pair.

They weren't lost. I've brought them home. So that would be the pair number three. Then over the weekend, my mum was like, can I borrow a bag to take to the gala? And I said, yes. So she went in. There's a pair of these sunglasses in there.

Wait, so now we're talking a fifth pair? Now I've got a fifth pair. What? What is happening? You've got a fifth pair of sunglasses you've only. Wait, so now we're talking a fifth pair? Now I've got a fifth pair. What is happening? You've got a fifth pair of sunglasses you've only ever purchased three pairs of. I've only ever purchased three pairs of this. One is snapped and in the bin, I know. Oh, you must

have purchased. One is in the car and one of them was left behind. I know this. No, it sounds like you've bought. So where's the wardrobe pair and the handbag pair come from? It sounds like you've purchased extra pairs. I would know. I would know the pairs that I would have bought.

I bought three pairs. Something spooky wookie's going on. No, it's not Winkly Tingly Wednesday. Someone's coming into your house with extra pairs of Glasson's $20 sunglasses. Just to F with me. Just to get in my head and be like, she's gone crazy. Sounds like someone's purchasing things that she doesn't remember.

No, no. I'm not just purchasing. In her sleep. No, because I buy them in person. I go and I buy them in person. I cannot figure it out. I bought three pairs of sunglasses and now suddenly I can account for five.

I mean, the only, I know what's happened. What? Those initial pairs that you bought, one was male and one was female. Oh, they've had another pair. They've made love. And they've had further pairs of,

because you hear about people do this with rabbits, you know, they get two pet rabbits. No, but they'd be a lot smaller to start because they don't get fully sized sunglasses until they're. No, it's like seagulls though. You never see baby seagulls. You just see them full formed. Oh my God, I've, it's like seagulls though. You never see baby seagulls. You just see them full formed. Oh my God, I've never seen a baby seagull.

So the sunglasses must be like, so the sunglasses must have a cliff side nest where they raise the young and then they bring them back to Hayley's house. Yeah, makes sense. Thank you so much for sorting that out. Scientifically, that's a flawless theory. Yeah, it's the only explanation.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Democracy sausages. How have you not heard of these before, Vaughan? I've never known. You guys don't know about democracy. I thought it was like, what did they call sauerkraut during World War II? Anything with a German name got changed. I thought that's what you were talking about.

Instead of calling them frankfurtas, we call them democracy sausages. Oh, no, no, no, no. Democracy cabbage. It was something like that. Liberation cabbage, was it? Okay. Liberation cabbage. Well, Saturday was the, no, no. It was something like that. Right. Liberation cabbage, was it? Okay. Liberation cabbage? Well, Saturday was the Australian election polling day.

And if you don't know, everywhere you go where you vote, they have a saucy sizzle. They're democracy sausages. And it's not... Liberty cabbage. Liberty cabbage. That's what they call it.

Sorry, I don't know what that is. It's a fundraiser as well for charity. So it's kind of like a two for one. They say it's a culture tradition in Australia. It's just what you do. You go, you vote, because you have to vote, right? Yeah, it's a lot. Just like here, yeah.

No, you don't have to vote here. Yes, you do. You get a fine if you don't. But they never follow that. They never follow that. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, anyway, so you turn up, you go to your polling place,

wherever you go, where we would go, to a bloody hall or a church or whatever, you vote, and then you get your democracy sauce. Amazing. So they've just got a little saucy sizzle at all of these places, and then people were turning up. Some places didn't have democracy sausages. And people were not happy. They were very upset.

They were like, I came here to vote, cast my vote, and get my democracy sausage. There's so many polling places. You wouldn't have a sausage every polling place, but most of them did. A lot of people say it should be part of an Australian constitution, a democracy sausage, that it's just a given. Because I saw Willys came out with the stats of their, how many sausages they'd sold.

Oh yeah. And they were just like through the roof. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So it's almost like if you don't get one there

as a tradition on voting day, you would get a snus. Maybe, or I just think loads of people were going in to buy them from there. Right. For the sausage sizzles. Yeah.

Yeah. So there were even democracy sausages being served at Australian embassies around the world. New York, Nairobi, Tokyo. And there was even some democracy sausages at the research station in Antarctica. Oh, wow. So that Australians in Antarctica can do their voting and get their democracy sausage. Now, how do we make this part of a New Zealand tradition?

I feel like they should do that here. We'd lap that up. It's so boring. Yeah. No, we need democracy sausages. We always steal things from the Australian traditions. Could we like do democracy chocolates or something? Democracy nugs. What about democracy cones? Ice cream

cones? Oh yeah. You're talking about different sort of cones there. Democracy cones. No, no thanks. You know like a lovely roll of like scooped ice cream. Oh my God, a little ice cream. Democracy. Why not get a, you know,

Cold Stone Creamery vibe with the cold rock and they smash the ice cream. Too slow. Too slow. I know there's always a long line for them. Millions of people voting.

Or democracy popsicles. Yeah, but then also what flavour? Democracy pop. We'll never agree on what flavour ice cream to have because we can't have 32 flavours. Okie pokies.

You've just got to do a traditional. Or you could do Neapolitan. And so you get a choice. Tick, tick. Which one would you like? Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla? Or a roll horizontally across all three. Yeah, which is obviously the right answer.

Which is correct, yes, of course. We're going to brainstorm this for the next election, I reckon. In a couple of years. Yeah, correct, yes, of course. Well, we're going to brainstorm this for the next election, I reckon. In a couple of years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Democracy sausages or democracy ice cream. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley. There's a married couple that has gone virile because of their life set up.

Now, when you think about a married couple, you imagine that they have a house or they're renting a house together and that there is a main bedroom and that they are in it together and that's where they live their life in this marital home. Yeah. Not this couple. Have you ever known anybody that lives in a house

and they don't live in the main bedroom? What, live in a smaller one? Do they live in one of the other bedrooms? No, you can always go the big one. I live in the smaller one. You live in the smaller one because it's away from the road more, right? Yeah, it's like just quieter. And you've got a desk in your spare room.

And the bigger one, I actually use it more during the daytime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know I went somewhere once and I was looking around the house and I was like, it makes, and I couldn't work out why they weren't in the big room. And they weren't renting it out and there weren't other people. It was one couple living in a three-bedroom house that they wanted to have their family in but they never lived

in the main room. You have a giant people that have giant bedrooms. It's so much cleaning. Dude, too much. It's so much cleaning. Stuffed up there a bit. Had the choice to make it smaller. Now it's so much cleaning. Anyway, this couple have never lived together.

But they're married. But they're married. They're not even having a sleep divorce, sleep in different rooms, which has become very, very popular Couple have never lived together. But they're married. But they're married. So they don't even, they're not even having a sleep divorce, sleep in different rooms, which has become very, very popular, right? People prioritizing sleep and going, no, no, no.

They've never lived together. Now I will say they are polyamorous. So they're in a bit of a setup where- Does that mean they're from summer? No, no, that's Polynesia. Yeah, polyamorous form. But it's not, the two aren't even

really related. Is they can have multiple relationships. Right, okay. Well, that's way, okay. But this couple are married. They live in New York City. Married couple.

They've never, ever lived full time together. They must obviously stay over the night every now and again. Yeah, they do. They have little sleepovers and stuff and then they might go off and have another little sleepover with something else. Almost just, stay over the night every now and again. Yeah, they do. They have little sleepovers and stuff and then they might go off

and have another little sleepover with something else. Almost just what's the point? Like, just have a friend with benefits, you know? Like, why do all the paperwork and the wedding and the tying? It's love. It's love. People do. They have this feeling inside of their chest. It's love. You're out there with a million other people

too. Yeah, and they love them as well. Yeah, but that's just friends. They said that the quality of their marriage is so much higher because they don't live together that they look forward to seeing each other, which I'm like, I kind of get it. Yeah, I mean, I get that totally. This is what you know.

When you live with people, you've got to put up with all their crap. Literally sometimes, you know? Yeah. Whereas if this, they're like, no, we can... Wait, when you said just then, you said put up with all their crap, and then you said literally sometimes, you know? Yeah. Whereas if this, they're like, no, we can... Wait, when you said just then, you said put up with all their crap and then you said literally sometimes,

do you mean skids? Skids. Yeah, because skids. It's skids on the bowl. That's what marriage is. Dealing with somebody else's skids. Money and skids. And everyone denying that it's their skids

even though it has to be somebody's skids. And it's not my skids because if I skids, I'm cleaning the bowl. I always clean the bowl. Always clean the bowl. Who doesn't clean the bowl? I tell you, here's a great way to eliminate 95% my skids because if I skids, I'm cleaning the bowl. I always clean the bowl. Always clean the bowl. Who doesn't clean the bowl? I tell you, here's a great way to eliminate 95% of skids.

Give the toilet a little pre-flush. Lube it up. Just to lube up the bowl. Do you think a pre-flush? Lube up the bowl. Interesting. You don't put down a paper pad. Yes, I put out a catching net.

I haven't dealt with serious skids for years. Right. For years since somebody told me about the little pre-flush. Not a half flush. Just enough to wet it. It's a third of a press of the half button. Okay. Just to wet it.

But imagine how much water that's wasting. It's not wasting bugger all. I'd say half a cup. I mean, you've still got to, if you do it the other way, you've got to clean and then do another flush. Yeah, it's a full second flush. I think you're saving water, if anything. Oh, you know, you got to clean and then do another flush. I think you're saving water if anything. Oh, you know, you can't clean and then leave the

debris just sort of floating around for the next person. You stand by and listen to the cistern fill up and you can tell it's getting fuller because at the end it gets more high pressure. It gets more high pitched. But to me, the design of the toilet's wrong because the back should be way away from our back.

You think further back? I think it should be further back so there's never any skids. So it drops clean into the pond. But then you're always going to need a toilet paper break because otherwise you get splashes. Yes. Okay. America has it both right and wrong because their toilets have more water in them.

Yeah. So less skid but more splash. Yeah, no one likes a splash. You know who's got it right? Southeast Asia. Yeah. The toilet.id, but more splash. Yeah, no one likes a splash. You know who's got it right? Southeast Asia. Yeah. The toilet. Oh, because of the squatting. And then the little hose. Oh, the hose.

Because the hose can be... I don't like using the hose after other people. I don't like being hosed down. I like hosing my anus with the same hose that someone else has hosed their anus. But then the hose can also be used to squirt the skids. What, like a target practice? Okay, you've got... Okay, that's a good use of the hose.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah, every time you're in Southeast Asia hotels and stuff, they have the tap, the squirty gun. Yeah, it's not a bidet. It's like a little hose. It's a handheld bidet, effectively. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the water's not warm. No, it's very spritzy. Bidets, I believe, warm the water. Okay, right. When you're in tropical, sometimes you're very sweaty in Thailand. It's nice to have a cold jet on the anus. Yeah, I think so too. Cool me right down to have a cold jet on the anus. Yeah, I think so too. Call me right down.

Yeah. Cold jet on the anus is actually... Your Rockfest band name. The Rockfest band name. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley.

Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly. That the silly little po. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. What's happening? Silly little pole. Oh, yeah. Give me a second.

Silly little pole. Has Trump put you off travelling to the US the options were yes or no 77% of people who responded said yes

he has put us off travelling to the US because I just had this conversation with a couple of friends at the weekend because I've just been through America

for a couple of days mostly Mexico but yeah people were like what is it like because you know all these horror stories of people going into America and like? Because, you know, all these horror stories of people going into America and being

deported or, you know, kind of what do they call it when they detain you? Detained. They detain you. And it is weird because it is happening. Yeah, it's happening to people that even have, like, the correct visa. Yeah, they just have a little brownish tinge to them. Oh, God. Do you know what it is? And this has always

happened because I do know of this happening to a couple of people pre-Trump. It's just not being sure of your travel plans when they ask you. People that haven't booked hotels or are a bit like airy-fairy. And that is like to an immigration officer, that's like well are you going to stay here?

If you haven't, like those German tourists that got sent home, the big story a couple of weeks ago, they didn't have any accommodation booked. Well, that's dumb. Of course. What did we do wrong? We were just going to vibe it.

We were going to live in a Volkswagen van. Yeah. Are you familiar with a Volkswagen? Like at least book the first week, you know. Yeah. I don't know. Cheapest. Okay, so 77% of people said yes.

23% of people said no. I actually heard from Benji who messaged me saying, literally going to Canada for my cousin's wedding in September with my family. Now, I will tell you, Benji's a very, very handsome man. Described in his own bio as Chilean Kiwi living in Melbourne. Oh, lovely. So he's got a brown, he's got a brown tinge. Here's his profile picture. He's a brown. What are we, okay, yeah, lovely. Oh, lovely. So he's got a brown, he's got a brown tinge. Here's his profile picture.

He's a brown. What are we, okay, yeah, lovely. Oh, gorgeous boy. Yeah. Gorgeous boy. Gorgeous boy. But says,

we had plans to go to Seattle for some shopping and stuff. Of course, just across the border from Canada. But my family won't cross the border now. It's too unstable and they've actually heard stories about people being detained

and then like kicked out and getting a mark against their name for literally no reason. So I guess I can't blame them. But I think he's still going to do it. That's crazy, isn't it? He's going to risk it for that biscuit. Isn't it weird to think that like we're talking about visiting America like we're talking about visiting

Afghanistan. You'd be like, oh, it's risky. It's a bit of a high risk holiday destination. Yeah. Gosh. Sorry, what? Canadian and visitor numbers to the US are down. Surprise, surprise. There's no, yeah. Gosh. Sorry, what? Free? No, I was going to say, well, Canadian and visitor numbers to the US are down. Surprise, surprise. I don't want to go. Yeah.

Trump's put me off travelling home to New Zealand next month for fear of being detained on the way back through LA, said Zara. I'm so close to getting my citizenship that it almost feels too risky to go and see my family this year. Maybe I'll put it off till I've got it all done. I'd wait. If you don't have an actual US passport, I would be waiting. Isn't that crazy?

It's crazy. It's nuts. Yep, said Angela. I refuse to go to the US while he's in charge. Won't even go. There is a stopover. Ria said, I've been living. I have been there a few times.

Have a sister living there at the moment. Would not go there at the moment even if you paid for my trip. Yeah. Do you think she's testing us? So we'll go and pay for your trip? And she's like, I gotcha. Well, surprise. We've got you two return tickets. Yeah. Do you think she's testing us? So we're going to pay for your trip and she's like, well, surprise, we've got you

two return tickets. Yeah, that'd be nice. Grumpy Lisa. Oh, Grumpy Lisa. She's not going to put it up with Trump's stick. God, no. What if we found out

she was a Trump voter? No, it's not putting me up. I'm going to New York City in September for my birthday. It's my sister's shout. She's lived there for years. Oh, okay. See, that's someone else paying.

I'd go. Also, Grumpy Lisa's like, no, he's not stopping me. Yeah. Nobody's stopping me. Kind of like that attitude there from Grumpy Lisa. Lachlan said, don't know if it's safe for a gay male to travel there at the moment. I've heard a lot of firsthand stories about people being pulled off the street and into ICE lockups.

ICE lockups? Yeah, ICE, the immigration control. Oh, God. I was like, I hope you've got a puffer. I hope you've got a bloody huffer puffer on. Yeah, they put you in the cold. Yeah. Get you talking.

To give up my liberties as I step on the ground, hell no, said Matt. I won't be going to the US. Mason said, no, I've travelled there for work and I'd like to holiday there if I got the chance. I'm not going to let him ruin it for me. Steph literally just booked a trip stopping through Dubai instead of the US this time because of the unrest.

Oh, better airport. You don't have to recheck in and you can just transit easily. It's a beautiful airport. Yeah, and they keep their human rights violations pretty hush-hush. My flights are already booked,

said Ali. No turning back now. And Imogen said, the thing is that Beyonce isn't coming anywhere near here and her European dates didn't work for me. I am feeling more and more guilty

about giving them my money. Yeah. And I'm praying I'll be let in, but babe, it will be worth it. The one thing that should be putting people off going to America is the dollar. Like, it's so... And the payment is so expensive there.

Like, it's basically double for everything. Yeah, it's wild. My parents are going soon. They're spending all my inheritance. How selfish. How selfish of them. That is your inheritance. I know. How selfish of them to work their entire life

to finally have a little bit of cash to play with and choose to spend it on themselves and not me. Can you believe these boomers? It's unbelievable. It's so rude. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Over the weekend, she has played a free concert on the beach in Rio. Cuba Cabana.

How many people? 2.1 million people. So you imagine everybody, everybody that lives in Auckland and everybody that lives in Wellington. In one beach. And they went to one beach. That's insane. In one beach. And they went to one beach. That's insane. That is insane.

So, the concert's paid for by local authorities. It's completely free. So you don't, you just turn up. Yeah, they do this at New Year's and also Madonna has done a free concert. Yeah, she did one. This one was bigger. This was bigger.

What a slayer. Yeah, because I was chatting, a friend that lives in Rio said that this was bigger than last year's and just everybody singing together wasayer. Yeah. Because I was chatting, a friend that lives in Rio said that this was bigger than last year's. And just everybody singing together was insane. Yeah. But like, it's also packed. Yeah.

Like it's, you know, you're right next to people. Yeah. In 2006, the Rolling Stones did 1.5 million people on the same beach at Copacabana. Okay. They're the only ones that are bigger than that. 1.6 was the Monsters of Rock. So when the Soviet Union fell. Okay. They're the only ones that are bigger than that. 1.6 was the Monsters of Rock. So when the Soviet Union fell and they were finally allowed

to listen to rock and roll music, they had a concert that was massive. Like Motley Crue, ACDC, Metallica all went. The biggest head bands at the time. And because people

had never been to concerts of the like, they went. That was 1.6 million people. And a guy called Jean-Michel Ra performed in 1997 in Moscow. Same sort of vibe.

3.5 million Moskites went. And it was free, I'm guessing? Yes. Wow. Okay, so it's not the biggest concert in history, but it's... I just imagine singing a Lady Gaga song with 2 million people.

So people are describing it as a religious experience. Like just being amongst all these people, all singing at the same time. What a vibe. It wasn't all positive. There was a plenty. So the Brazilian authorities have said that they raided a bunch of houses and stopped a plot to detonate explosives at the concert. That's not the Gaga vibe, okay? We're there, we're partying, we're having a big gay party on the beach.

Don't be doing that. Yeah, so they... Thank God. Yeah, raids, they connected a bunch of... They arrested two people in connection with an alleged plot. Yeah. Raided the homes of 15 people across Brazil. But yeah.

So many people, like, look at the, okay, I'm trying to show you, like, there's screens everywhere, because you think. That's what I was thinking. That many people, right, she's singing at the front. Yeah.

The sound travels to the back. So they would just have sound systems the whole way down in these screens. There's like, this is not even the full image, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, you know, like, screens on screens on screens

so that everyone got at least a bit of a view. But even if you are like at the back of this, you're still partying at the back. Oh yeah. You're getting the music, you're seeing the screens,

you're part of the crowd. You're hearing 2.1 million people. Oh my gosh. Insane. Well, it won't be 2.1 million people, but it's still going to be a huge event. We have tickets for you to see Lady Gaga at a core stadium in Sydney.

That is a huge stadium. She's playing Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney. Those are tickets at livenation.com.au. But if you want to win and be able to win tickets to see Gaga live, just go on the iHeartRadio app, stream ZM and press the microphone and let us know what you think mayhem sounds like

and you just like that in the drawer to see her live. We did some mayhem. You can go and see on our socials. We did our own mayhem. Play ZM's flesh one and Hayley. I'm laughing because I can't say her last name, but it's really funny. Yeah.

Hayley just said something and I thought it was a slur. But if you say it like it's spelled, it's not a slur. So you want me to say it? Tell us the story about... Okay. What's her name? Kenetha Fargard. Cancelled.

We got it. Got it. Got it. That's not your word. That's actually, that's a huge saving for the company no longer having to pay your wages. Yeah, yeah.

God. Do Vaughan and I get, do we get her celery? Should we just do the last show thing now? Hey guys, it's been such an honour. It was a real surprise. I didn't know that this was going to happen in my career.

I've loved working with Fletch and Vaughan so much. You want to spend more time with your family? Yeah, I need to spend more time with my family and focus on being me and being present for my family. So if you ever hear that, you've been fired. Carry on. So Kenita Fagat, she... Well, she got no job.

What's she got to lose, baby? Double down. Now, Mrs. Fagat, what happened is she experienced some dry eyes. Grow up, all of you. Grow up. Okay. I've got to look up the origins of that as a surname. She had dry eyes.

Oh, no. No. I wonder if she's of the Fagat Auto Centre in Porterville, California, where you can go and buy a car or have your car fixed. I don't know. Anyway, she had dry eyes, right? And so she went to go get some eye drops. She picked up the eye drops and some, you know, dry relief.

By the way, I'll do eye drops every now and again. I don't. Do you do more than, I do like three or four each eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I juice the entire eye. I go dry. I play dry juice. I don't juice.

I juice. On the rare occasion I use it, just one drop per eye. Well, because I'll go swimming and I'll look like I've been getting stoned and I'm not. Yeah. I'm not, mum. I'm not. I'm not, mum. I'm not.

I'm not getting stoned, mum. The idea of Fletch getting stoned is so funny. It's not you. It's not what I do. But one of my eyes is always bloodshot. So I have, yeah, eye drops. But I always go like four. So you don't look a stoner.

And it's like, do one or two. I'm like, don't tell me what to do. So you know how surnames are often like Smithers? A surname is that you're a specialist in like a blacksmith or a goldsmith. Like that's why Smithers. Fletchers, you made arrows? Yeah. Sprouts.

Sprout is to walk in a spontaneous and jerky manner. So you were like, just this weirdo that walked around town, probably ticking, talking to themselves. The town lunatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Sprouts. The Fagat is a Dutch from,

so they were wall builders. They built walls. They built walls. It's a Dutch and Germanic word. I really appreciate a lovely stone wall. So do I. You know, like when there's a beautiful stone wall. Just gorgeous. I'm just like, that is art. That's where I want to spend time

in the UK and Scotland when they've got those like little hamlets, they call them. Beautiful. With stone walls. That's me cruising on a land. Well, now you know who built them. Kenetha Fagard's family. Yes. So, Kenetha, back to my story.

Kenetha has picked up her eye drops, and she's opened up her eyeball, and she's gone drop, and instantly it burns, and she knows, swallow your coffee, Vaughn. She knows that something's wrong. She knows something's wrong. She tries to flush out the ice. She went to rub it.

And when she went to rub it, she realised her finger was getting stuck to her eye. And that's when it clicked. Oh, sweet God. It was not drops. It was glue. It was super glue. It was glue. Which, I mean, I don't know what eye drops in America look like.

They're not the same tube, right? No. No. No. So, went to the hospital immediately. Tried to flush out with water. Was not doing anything. Oh, what do you even, how do you fix that?

I don't know. Dr. Robbie on the pit would know. Dr. Robbie would have it sorted. Dr. Robbie on the pit would know. Yeah, visited several doctors. But he'd give one of the up-and-coming med students the chance. Well, it's a teaching hospital. Yeah, it is.

So her eye, it's still shut. It's glued shut. They are saying it's going to take about a month and a half for it to naturally work its way out. Oh, wow. Horrible headaches, really feels awful. There's a GoFundMe to support her recovery. Her eyes still shut.

Keneather. Goodness me. Okay, that's a grim story. Currently $18,900 US raise. I hate using superglue. It is so lethal. It doesn't give you any moment. No.

There's no second chances with superglue. Wait a minute. Super glue will not set until you touch it with skin. It'll be wet for days and you're like, is that still wet? And the second you touch it,

it's like, gotcha. Now you're stuck to the pen. Whatever it was that you were trying to glue back together. This is what we want to know this morning. When did you have

a super glue incident? Have you tangoed with construction adhesive? Oh no. Probably. Busted gold. Oh yes, so much. Dude. All that stuff you have to mix together. Arodyne. Yeah, that kind of stuff. We used to tango with Arodyne when we were kids. That was like our

fun way of spending a weekend. Yeah, just get high in the garage on Arodyne. Oh, we'd just do stuff like glue three bricks together and Dad would come home and he's like, has anyone seen... Oh, for God's sake, you've glued my bricks. You've glued the bricks together. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Did you have a super glue incident? Because a woman in the United States went to put on eye drops, it was super glue, her eye is still shut. There is a GoFundMe if you want to support it. It's expected to open sometime within the next month. Within the next month and a half. William, when did you have a superglue incident?

All right. So, firstly, how's it going, team? We all good this morning? Really good. Thank you. Really good. This is super. Really good.

Actually, how are you, though, William? No, I'm good now. I've got a superglue on my face, so I'm better now. But this happened a few years ago, but I was repairing an inflatable deck chair or like a pool noodle, like sort of inflatable situation. Yeah, correct. And I wouldn't have any repair patches.

The can got onto it. So there's a couple of little holes, and it was quite hard to find. So I filled it up. Really, really, a lot of pressure in there. And then I got really close, big bottle of super glue. And without thinking, the air's coming out, and then I got really close, big bottle of super glue and without thinking the air is coming out and I'm putting a liquid on

the air, massive blob and obviously spray completely housing the face, covering the eyes, everything. Great glue! How did you get it off? Yeah, it was scraping it off. It was just tiny bit by bit in the mirror. My eyes were wide open.

I was like three centimetres away from the thing my eyes were wide i was like like three centimeters away from the thing trying to put the big blob directly on these little cat holes because if that was me if that was me i would have got a towel or a flannel and then that would have got sucked to my face yes yeah yeah no but you had no repair patch so yeah just trying to put super blue over just not thinking at all. And you just got completely covered, all the face and the eyes, everything. Did you have to go to A&E? Yeah.

Did you have to go to A&E? No, it was just a scrape off in the mirror situation. Oh, that's so manly. Scrape it off. William, thank you. Sue, when did you have a nail, a superglue incident? Oh, my God. So I went to a different nail technician about a month or so ago

and I was sitting there and it was all going well, all going good. And he went to move his hand from my hand and our fingers were stuck together. Oh my God, cute. This is a movie. Oh my God,

our fingers were actually properly, properly stuck together. And I was like, you know, like you're in it and you're pulling. You're pulling away. Your natural reflexes are like, what the hell? Pull away. And your fingers were stuck. And I was like, this is a Friday afternoon.

I don't want to go to A&E with this nail technician. Like, I don't know. You've got to spend the weekend with her now. Oh, my God. And it was a guy. But anyway. And then, yes. Anyway, he's like, I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry. You're OK. And I'm kind of like freaking out. Like, no, like, I'm not actually OK. And then anyway, he went and got some like other special like whatever fluid. You mean you both went to get the fluid? We went for a walk together. We went for a walk to get the fluid.

Eventually then my finger did, like, we detached from one another quite romantically. Did you miss him immediately? Did you miss him? I mean, he was hot, you know, sure. Yeah. Yeah, and then my finger was just a little bit kind of like grazed from where he'd pulled the skin, you know, like we pulled back. Ow! Is nail glue that strong or was he using super glue?

Honestly, he must have used something completely different because I get my nails done all the time and it's never happened before. Man, like a bonding. Yeah. Yes, actually, we bonded. Yeah, you bonded with the bonders. Your skin and your nails. And your nails, wow. Amazing, Sue, thank you. Keep your texts bonded with the bonders. Your skin and your nails. And your nails.

Amazing. So, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. Your superglue incidences. A woman superglued her eye shut, thinking it was eye drops. It's still shut, by the way. Still shut, yeah.

Turns out there's no quick fix for that. Nope. Just letting nature open up eventually. Eventually, yeah. Nina, what was your superglue incident? So, I was making like an outfit for a concert

and I what was the concert what concert Gracie Abrams okay so this is recent this is only a couple

of weeks ago last week I made it in like March because I was trying to do it early but I like I had a super

I was trying to like glue these rhinestones on and like fabric glue wasn't cutting it. So I, like, bought some super glue and the cap wasn't opening and I was getting so pissed off. So I just, like, put it in my mouth and tried to open it. And it ended up fluttering everywhere, all over my teeth. And, like, it was, and I was, like, panicking, and I didn't know what to do, so I let it dry so that I had, like, dried superglue on my teeth.

Oh, my God. And what happened after that? Did it peel off or...? I didn't. I peeled some of it off, but, like, for, like, three days, there was just dried superglue on my teeth. It was so annoying. Do you reckon it took off some of your enamel if you were picking at it?

Oh. Or maybe it's like a super protectant and you won't get coffee stains and stuff. Oh my god, and then your teeth will be like white as forever. And then all the kids will be doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like, guys, guys, guys, super glue your teeth. I just imagine you ate food and there's like a little bit of carrot that's permanently stuck to your tooth.

Oh yeah. Don't put it in your mouth. Oh, my God, that's crazy. But you're okay now? It's okay now? Yeah, I'm fine now. Okay, and how was Gracie Abrams? And how were the...

It was... The rhinestones. Did the rhinestones, you know, do what you wanted them to do? They absolutely did. Okay, she's great news. She's great news. So, yeah, we got there.

We got there. Thanks, Nina. Message is in. I was just reading from some dental assistants. I'm a dental assistant. One day we had an emergency patient show up that had tried to open a super bottle glued with his teeth and it had squirted all through his mouth and his back teeth were glued together. Jeepers.

His back teeth were glued together. Those are the worst ones because if the back ones are glued together, the front ones are glued together too. Anyone that works in dental is a... What did you say to the dentist? I want to say to the dentist, I want to glue my teeth together. Okay, open wide.

Open my mouth. Very funny. Anyone who works in the dental industry has a story of a patient who DIY'd false teeth through a filling with super glue. Please don't do this. It's super glue anything in your mouth

as it has poisonous ingredients. Remember, but you can use a nail file to file down a chip too. No, you can't. You're not supposed to. file down a chip too. No, you can't. You're not supposed to. You can't do that. It looks smooth to me.

Yeah. My son's doctor was gluing his head cut back together. I remember this when August fell and cut her chin and we waited for ages

and then they just super glued it. I was like, could have done that at home. They glued my son's head back together but when he was doing it, his glove got caught in there as well. And I was like, oh no.

And he's like, oh well. And he just cut the glove finger off and sent us home with it. My son had a bit of blue glove sticking out the back of his head. Guys, I mistook my eyelash glue for super glue. Thankfully it didn't get in my eyeball, but the fumes made my eyes water.

Lashes looked fantastic though and didn't come off for like over a week. But then when they did come off they pulled all my real eyelashes out. Somebody messaged in and I thought this was a funny ploy. Next time I super glue my fingers together to find a sheep and put my fingers in its mouth.

They said sheep saliva is fantastic for getting super glue off your fingers. And I just googled it. Glue and some salivas that will fix it. Really? And apparently sheep saliva is, I guess it must be sheep goats. Something about it. Yeah, right.

Any sort of split-hoofed creature. You can get your fingers in their mouth. Ram it in their mouth. Yeah. I've got a particularly dribbly cow. Maybe that will work. I'll try it. What do you need to take a saucer and put it under your cow?

When I get home, what I'm going to do, I'll glue a whole lot of different fingers together and then I'll try it. What do you need to take a saucer and put it under your cow? When I get home, what I'm going to do, I'll glue a whole lot of different fingers together and then I'll try it on all my different animals. Pigs, goats, chickens. Chickens don't really dribble, but cows. I've got a golden retriever. He gets a bit dribbly when it's dinner time. I'll see what that saliva works like.

If you come to work tomorrow missing some fingers, we'll know why. One text to finish. Super glue incident. Self-inflicted. Had a great pair of high heels, but I'd always slip out of them. So I decided to superglue my feet into the shoes before hitting the club. Worked.

The. Home. Worked an absolute treat. Peeled the skin off when I tried to remove them, though, and I can't even blame alcohol. I was a sober driver. I'm just dumb. Permission to speak freely?

Yes. We've got a dumb bitch on our hands. We've got a dumb bitch on our hands. We've got a dumb bitch on our hands. We've got a dumb hope. I want to give that text of the week, even though it's Monday. Yeah, do it. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Okay, now I want to paint a little context around this so that I still remain a woman of the people. Okay. I was going to say, I was warming up for a roasting. I was warming up for a roasting. I was warming up for a roast. Us two working class lads were ready to have it. I live quite far away from the Auckland airport.

Yep. Well, it must be nice. Some of us have to live in a flight path. You literally live up the road from me. That's not true. I live in the working area. Beside the train tracks. Do not separate yourself from me. I live in the working area. Oh my god. Do not separate yourself from me.

I live beside the train tracks. Anyway, I live quite far away from the airport. If I Uber to the airport and Uber back, it costs like about $100. $50 to $55 each way. Easy. What are you talking about? Mine costs that. Yeah, so I'm $120,

$140. Easily $140. To get to the airport and back. To park valet in the Kuru, it's $69. Nice. For the whole weekend? For one night. So, like, come on. I mean, it's very private school, girl.

It's cheaper! I'm saving money. I'm going to drive to the door and then someone's going to take care of my car for me. I might have brought a piano, a suitcase, a stand, all these things. It's actually cheaper to park and ride, but she doesn't like the bus. Park and ride with my keyboard, suitcase. Do you want to hear about Man of the People?

$20 on the bus each way. Yeah, you go Airbus too. I go the bus. Do you want to hear about Man of the People? Do you want to hear about Man of the People? Can't afford to travel anywhere. The airport's not even on the cards. Yeah, that's a Man of the People.

That's a Man of the People. Okay, well, I'm slightly better that's you I work on Monday mornings really I get up before the sun anyway so I pull out I drop off the keys

you go and I come back and I get my keys they charge your card and you get into the car I load up the back with my keys and my suitcase

and all this kind of stuff I get in the car push the button I've got a push button so now I'm not in a room with the people I've got a push button. So now I'm not in a room with the people. I've got a push button car. Okay? Foot on the brake. Push button. Suddenly

the radio turns on like almost max, and it was not max when I parked the car, almost max, like so loud on ZM. Oh, fantastic. Well, man, we must have been playing a hit song.

We were playing a hit song. I can't remember what it was. We only play the hit songs. I can almost guarantee it was top 40. Right. So the person moving your car. So the person who went

and fetched my car from wherever they park it, from wherever the warehouse is they park it. I do want to know where they park it. I don't want to go in there. Put an air tag in your car

next time. Because I didn't realise that they did that, remember? And then we were travelling and I left my jacket in the back and I went back to know where they park it or I don't want to go in there we'll put an air tag in your car next time because I didn't realise that they did that remember and then we were travelling and I left my jacket in the back and I went back to be like can I get my jacket Hayley just

Hayley thought they left the car right outside the airport door the whole weekend I did I did I was like how convenient how very convenient that it was just here

no no they take it away so this person whoever they are obviously got into my car turned it on thought nice car yeah thought, nice car. Yeah. Nice car.

Nice car. I'm going to put on some music. Went through the stations, picked ZM. Of course. And cranked it. It was already on ZM. Yeah. And just cranked it.

Like, I wonder what song we were playing. And then obviously turned the car off, but left the volume. Like I cannot even tell you. You know I listen to my music loud in my car. This blew me tits off. Like I was like, fire out. And then it was like so loud. I looked down and I was like, ZM!

You want to hear Man of the People? You're not even allowed loud music on the bus. You have to listen in your headphones. That sucks. Actually, Anna is a man of the people. Thank you so much for listening on headphones, not carrying around a Uwe Böhm in a public space. You know I love much for listening on headphones and not carrying around a U-E-Boom in a public space. People that carry around...

You know I love a U-E-Boom. We love a U-E-Boom. Yeah, I love a U-E-Boom. I love a U-E-Boom. Love my U-E-Booms. Love the U-E-Boom. Someone was walking downtown, they had the JBL on the clip on the Caribbean.

Not the JBL. No, not the JBL on the clip. I know the U-E-Boom. They're walking down the street with their clips. No one... Get Trump out of here. No one does U-E-Boom. Walking down the street with their clips. No one. Get Trump out of here. No one does U-E-Boom like me. I hate this one.

I got the app. I'll link up three U-E-Booms. U-E-Booms. No, this person just absolutely like blasted the thing. And he left it on. Of course. But left it on. Feel free to enjoy the vehicle while you're in it, dude.

But don't overturn it back down. I may not have told you. I've told Fletch about this because I'm pretty sure it works. Don't keep secrets from me. Anything you tell Fletch, you should be telling him. This was one of those dodgy. And I remember there were a few stories in the news years ago about a place where you would leave your car.

It was not officially linked to the airport in any way, but it was like, hey, drop your car off here. We'll drop you off at the airport. Then we'll come back and keep it in this warehouse. Yeah. Dad took the XR6. Dad's a Ford man. He's not a Holden man. He's not a Holden man. Oh no, it's nice. It's got a 2002 beautiful Ford blue XR6. It rules. It's still in the garage. I said to him the other day,

it's so rad you've kept a hold of that. It's a classic now. Yeah. It's almost old enough to be a classic. Yeah. And it's a beautiful car and he took it and he put it in, he dropped it off at the airport. They dropped him off. When they came back, he noted down the kilometres. When they got back in the car, it had done 250 kilometres.

250? And seen smelt of durries. Durries? Who smoked it? Oh, my God, I'd be so annoyed if someone smoked durries in my car. Did they go to, like, Hamilton and back, or do you reckon they just used it for the whole week to get to work? I reckon they just took it for the weekend. Took it for the weekend. Fanging around in an XR. That's in my car. Did they go to like Hamilton and back or do you reckon they just used it for the whole week to get to work?

I reckon they just took it for the weekend. Took it for the weekend. Fanging around in an XR someone's house is the XR6. Did your dad complain to them? I think so.

Or he's just too much really. people plays here he's like, oh well. I don't think he would have won this. Weirdly he was probably

more upset about the smell of smoke than he was about talking up the cage. And he just stoked someone enjoyed his car. Yeah, he was very proud. I understand it's smoke than he was about... Yeah....locking up the cage. Probably just stoked someone enjoyed his car. Yeah, he was very proud. I understand.

It's a nice vehicle. Of course they took the XL6. It's a bloody beautiful vehicle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Met Gala is tonight. Tonight, no, well, it's Monday night in... Sorry, I've just got to tuck in my T-shirt.

What are you doing? She just flashed a breast-sending. I just flashed Bourne. Just for fun. Just a one. Just for fun. Just a bra. Just for funsies. Oh yeah, no, no, no nips. Yeah, it's Sunday night,

American time, so it'll be tomorrow for us. Yeah, so we can dive into the fashion or anything exciting. Where do they have it? New York. Where do they have it? At the Met.

I don't care. This is so far down the list of things I give a shit about. At the Metropolitan Museum. I'm happy to not have to think right now, so you please talk about Met Gala. I feel like did we talk to Lorde about going one year? It's amazing.

I just think it's... Someone that had gone and they were just like, oh yeah. They just kind of hung out there. It looks like a pain in the ass. Yeah. Wear something and then something impractical and then get changed and then la-di-da-di-da and what's it for and blah blah blah. But they do, like, because we only see the red carpet stuff, or whatever the carpet colour is, and then the inside stuff.

Yeah, the inside stuff is all very secret. That'll show up all the hair and dust. The dust. It's going to show up so much. That's actually a really poor choice for a carpet colour. The carpet is going to look so skinny. Dude, slimming colour. If you're so desperate to look slim that you're relying on the carpet,

I feel like it's just time to lay off the sweets and do some exercise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've had plenty of warning that the Met was coming up. Sorry, I just got a text. Anyway, so. Read it out. That was the old rule. That was the old rule.

Mum and Dad are in Doha. They've landed in Doha safely. I didn't know they were off to Italia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yesterday. Oh, that makes sense. That adds up. Yeah, well, travel safe, Sprouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yesterday. Oh, that makes sense. That adds up. Yeah, well, travel safe, Sprouse.

Yeah, they're going to have a great time. They always do. Anyway, so we'll talk about the fashion and the big moments tomorrow on the Met Gala. Long tease. Join us. However, every year there's a bit of contention around and gossip around who's actually banned

because Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue. Who always wears the glasses. Who always wears the glasses and has her little fringe. She looks like the woman that does the superhero costumes on The Incredible Women. Yes.

That's who that was based on. I feel like it was. And who Devil Wears Prada, Meryl Streep is based on. So here are some of the celebrities that are actually banned from attending the Met Gala, thanks to Anna Wintour saying, no, you're no longer attending.

Darling, you're no longer attending, darling. Darling. Donald Trump. Donald Trump attended, yeah. We've had enough of you, Trump. We've had enough of you, Trump. I don't know. So, he attended the Met Gala a few years ago

with Melania. And as soon as he went into office, Anna Wintour put a ban on him for life. So we see who she voted for, I guess, quite clearly there. Now, Tim Gunn, who you may remember as the seemingly gay but very asexual, in fact, Project One Way. One Way. One Way. Project One Way. Project One Way One Way Project One Way Co-host

He was told he was not allowed to attend Why? Because one day he made a joke about seeing Anna Wintour being carried down five flights of stairs

by two bodyguards like two hulking men and then he told the story he said all hell broke loose it's insane we've been in an open war

ever since. Oh wow. So he's not allowed to go. Lily Reinhart once tore the Met Gala to shreds by saying that you know

it's terrible how all the women like starve themselves for months for this stupid night and Anna Wintour was like well cool if you think it's stupid

you're not allowed to come back. The whole thing's charity right? Yeah it is. A lot of the desperate houses. The Met Gala raises money for Metro you know that band Metro Station? Niche reference.

The Tresiris led project Metro Station. Niche reference. I'll pull up to metro station if you like, and then you'll see why they need to raise money for it. Tina Fey has seemingly been banned. Okay. She called it a jerk parade. Yeah.

She said, I'm never going to go again. It's this beautiful space. Walk up these huge steps, dragging your husband along. I hated it. Zayn Malik also is banned from attending for basically anyone that tears it to shreds. Right. And then Amy Schumer tore it to shreds

being like, this is so ridiculous. Yeah. But then attended maybe like five years after saying that. So there seems to be a bit of... See, that's... I could never... If I said something that was ridiculous, especially if you're a celebrity...

Oh, you're too stubborn. I'm too stubborn and people would call me a hypocrite and that is my worst nightmare. Yeah. She said the Met Gala is people doing an impression of having a conversation. It's a whole farce.

We're dressed up like a bunch of effing a-holes. I don't like it. No interest in fashion. I don't care. Well you can run through the fashion tomorrow but I don't think anything

will ever beat the Lady Gaga Met dress. So why bother? That was an MTV Music Awards. Wasn't it? I thought that was Met. No that wasn't Met. Wasn't it? The thought that was Met. No, that wasn't Met. Wasn't it?

The Lady Gaga Big Met was a couple of years ago when she did the five different looks. Oh, yeah. She stripped them all down and did a full performance on the steps. Right. Rihanna, that was a big moment with the big yellow cape that was like the size of the steps. I mean, I know it's wanky and I know it's so pretentious and I know that the people haven't eaten for days. Yeah. But I like it's wanky and I know it's so pretentious and I know that the people haven't eaten for days,

but I like it. I like watching the fashion. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's owl week here at Fact of the Day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Harry Potter owls, as people will call them now, like the traditional barn owls. Do you know that they found their way here, like from Australia? And so now they're all cool by us. Are they?

Yeah, and they're starting to like breed in New Zealand. I don't know if I've actually ever seen an owl with my own eyeballs. I saw a pygmy owl when I was hiking in Patagonia. Oh, I was going to say. You need to tell Doc if you saw a pygmy owl. Oh no, it was incredible. They're beautiful. They're so amazing.

Wow. And it's during the day because are they nocturnal? Correct. Yes. Most owls are. It was freaky. There's some owls. Actually, we could touch on that later in the week.

There is a type of owl that's a day owl. Oh, okay. Because, you know, you say someone's a night owl because they do better. Right. I recently went to Wingspan just out of Rotorua. I've been wanting to go for ages and just never unfortunately was able to make the time work. I would recommend that

absolutely on your list if you're going to our North Island tourist capital of Rotorua. Okay. It's so good. It's so great.

There's owls, there's falcons, there's a hawk that was found on the side of the road by Morrinsville. So, you know, that's pretty much lovely.

And they've trained them to do stuff. But owls, I said I love owls. Is that your owl? Can you put that on our socials? An austral pygmy owl. Shit, you don't. Look at the boy in it.

And it does a head bobble. Do you know why it's doing that? It's working out how far away you are. Is it? I don't know. It's on my story. You know how they, I'm just going to hit you with some, like, this isn't even the main fact. But you know how they I'm just going to hit you with some like this isn't even

the main fact but you know how they turn their whole head it's because they can't move their eyes their eyes are like a tube that's how they can see so well in the dark

like a tube like a toilet roll tube not a ball like ours are a ball and our eyes move around their eyes kind of stay still in their head that's why they can go

270 degrees around what makes an owl an owl huge head stocky body soft feathers short tails and a reversible toe stocky body it's feathers, short tails, and a reversible toe. Stocky body.

It's like if you're being described as a suspect and they're like, stocky, you'd be like, ouch. I always felt real, like on Police 107 or Crime Watch back in the day, they'd say stocky and if they said fat, you knew they were fat. If they said suspect is fat, ouch, because they'll just say stocky about a pokey person. And now you've just got to say a person. Yeah. A person, um... Because they don't want to hurt the criminal's feelings.

Yeah, I know. That's a bloody woke, eh? Yeah, and you've got to blur them all out in the security footage. Oh, yeah, I know. Sorry, if you're stealing a car, I want to see the face. I want to see the whole face. And no one... I want to know if the fatties had to put the seat back.

Yeah, I want them to describe me as, like, tall, big, fat dumper. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fat, but in all the seat back. Yeah, I want them to describe me as like tall, big, fat dumper. You know what I mean? Fat, but in all the right ways. Fat dumper and like really nice natural lashes. And that's all I would match. That's what you want for your description. Okay, well, today's fact of the day about owls

is that owls fly silently. Now, if you've watched the documentary series The Staircase, there's a wild, and then they made it into an HBO show, there's a wild theory that he didn't beat his wife to death with a fire poker as she went up the stairs. An owl flew into their house and silently scratched up her head. Now, that's a wild theory.

Sharp talons. With the sharp talons. Very unlikely to happen. And if you haven't seen, there's also a YouTube video of scientists using really high quality microphones to record the sounds of bird flight. Now, I heard a kitadu flying at the weekend. Oh, I loved it. They were whooshy.

Yesterday, they were going crazy in our house. I just saw like 10. Flappy little fatties. Oh, I love them. But it's so cool. They sound whooshy and you're like. Yep. Like when you're, if you're hiking and you hear one, it's like, yeah, it's a whoosh.

If you've ever been around a helicopter when it starts up, it's that whoosh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, I love them so much. Whereas owls are the BB-52 bomber. Completely silent flyers. I saw a video on this. Yeah.

It was amazing. It was just, that's the sound. How do they do it? No, it wasn't even that. Well, there's a front edge of the owl's wings, a comb-like structure, and they're tiny stiff little fringes, and they break up the air turbulence. So that would normally cause the through the feathers,

but they break it up so it doesn't. So they are soft, velvety feathers, and any sound that they do produce, they absorb. And that means that they can fly silently. The back of their wings and the tail feathers are also fringed, but floppier. And then so that absorbs the sound as well. The sound is nothing but vibration.

Of course. Yeah. We all know that. Their large wings, they've got large wings relative to their body size. And that means that they can fly more efficiently with less flapping. They're more of a gliding bird. And they are particularly quite in low frequency ranges,

which is where most animals are most sensitive and will hear them coming. When compared to other birds of prey, barn owls, when they were studied, produced sound levels of 18 decibels lower in flight. That's the difference between a whisper and a soft breeze. Ooh. It's a little snake up on you.

So if someone's talking like that, it's the sound of a soft breeze. Ooh. It's a little snake up on you. So if someone's talking like that, it's the sound of a bird flying. And an owl would be, yeah. Wow. I didn't even hear

that coming. That's so cool. How rad. That'd be great in war. Owls. Sneak attacks. You have to train them. Yeah.

What would they have? Guns? Because they're loud. They'll have little daggers in their mouth. And you're walking along thinking, man, no battles today. Dagger in the back. That's what happened to the woman on the staircase. The owl launched war on her scalp.

She flopped around on those stairs for a while. So today's owl fact of the day is they fly silently and it's a combination of amazing things that lets them do it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Do you know who's going to hate this next news? Mike Hosking.

Oh, because he's a royalist? We are. We're royalists, aren't we? Oh, Katie. Katie. Katie and Mike are going to hate this. The rift between the royal family continues. You know, because Megan's been kind of everywhere doing

podcasts and shows and interviews and everything and then Harry's come back out and he's made comments about the fact that King Charles probably doesn't have long to go but he's not going to talk to him because of everything that's happened with them. They're not talking. Still not talking. Still not talking at all.

And he put out a statement Prince Harry, about where he sits with the family and everything. And then the royal family, they put that up on the website and stuff. Anyway, drama continues. It's good to know that even the royal family has some family drama.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the rest of us. Yeah. So he's been- Do you think if your family had an inconceivable amount of inherited wealth a lot of it through the pillaging of

countries around the world during the colonialisation, do you think you'd have less or more arguments? I don't know. What do you think Christmas would be like? Yeah. Yeah. Especially when your wife's half black and yeah. I mean my mum would have a real bee in her bonnet about any country that opted out of the Commonwealth.

Oh, I should be like, we've done so much for you. Yeah, look at her. Ungrateful. What more do they want from us? Yeah. So I think the big thing is that they want to be hush hush and Harry's like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. The people need to know.

I don't know about how cooked this has been for me and my wife and my kids. And my mum. Yes. And his mum. And his mum. Yeah, Princess Diana. So anyway, they're not talking.

And then we thought about this this morning. Why aren't you talking to your family is what we want to know. Yes. What was the drama? What was the goss? Because you know what? When you get stubborn people and they're waiting for the apology that's not coming, they're not going to talk.

Yeah. Or did your sister call your children heathens and then push you at Christmas? That seems really specific. I mean, you don't have a sister, but... No, my mum does, though. Yeah. Oh, really?

Is that right? To be fair, your mother's children are heathens. Yeah, we were the most heathenistic looking children ever. Yeah. Heathenistic and hedonistic. Yeah, yeah, the most heathenistic looking children ever. Yeah. Heathenistic and heathenistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had both of the H's covered. Covered in tattoos and piercings

and yeah, pushed my mum at Christmas. Okay, so maybe it's not all the family that's not talking. Maybe it's just one sibling. One family member. One auntie. Yeah.

Or one uncle. Yeah, this is what we want to know. Why are you not talking to your family? Already messages coming through. I always text them my story whenever you guys say the topic, whenever we talk about, we want to know juicy things. And I remember this and asking them to text it in. I don't talk to my mother because she had a fling with my ex-husband.

Jeez! He did it as revenge for me leaving him and she did it because, I guess, she's just a yucky bitch. Hell of a way to describe your mother. I would never utter those words about my lovely mother. But your mother wouldn't have an affair with the Rex. No, nor is she yucky.

So Prince Harry is still not talking to members of his family. But he's talking to everyone about it. And that's probably why they're not talking to him. We want to know though why you're not talking to a member of his family. But he's talking to everyone about it. Yeah. And that's probably why they're not talking to him. We want to know, though, why you're not talking to a member of the family. A lot of you. Wow.

And we're sending love to a lot of you because it's not nice, is it? Jo, who are you not talking to in the family? What's happened? More nako, guys. So it's not actually me. It's my mum and my uncle. Okay. Why are they not speaking?

Over a curtain about, a comment, sorry, about curtains. Well, curtains are very individual. Did mum buy some curtains and the uncle didn't like them? So mum and dad had just moved into a new site and they hadn't done anything to it yet because it was like day two. And my uncle and his wife had come over and one of them made a comment

around, I don't know, because we're ugly or outdated or something to that effect. That was over 30 years ago. What? Since then, my dad passed away in 2009.

I'm sorry to hear that. My mum and my uncle are both terminal and still will not bury the hatchet. Oh, my. Is there any regret from your mum? Do you know? Is she like, I wish we had... No, none. Wow.

Oh, no, she's holding strong. Oh, my. That is incredible. Holding strong. Yeah. Because you often hear about when people do die or someone dies or they're on their deathbed, they have these regrets like, I wish I hadn't been so stubborn. I wish I'd mended that friendship.

Yeah. You know? Not your mum. Not her. Not her. Stop it. She's a good woman. Good woman.

You've got to stick to your guns. Do you guys, I'm so curious about the curtains, because we're talking 30 years ago. Yeah, what were they? I'm thinking some florals. Yeah, were they floral? Oh, they were like this orangey awful with those. Hey, Joe, you're about to get not talked to.

Don't you go criticising curtains. You'll be next on the list. Wow. I will. Some ghastly 70s or 80s, like, brown or orange curtains. They've only just posed into the place. Yeah. Joe, thank you.

Some messages in. I went to Italy earlier this year and my mum got jealous upon returning my grandmother past and I never got text or called once. Upon me reaching out months later, she blamed me for not giving her my time. And I had her live in my home for months on end for free. I made her breakfast, lunches and stuff. Helped her out so much for her to trim the leash. Sorry. She said, not my mother. I mistyped.

It said S-I-L. Sister-in-law. Sister-in-law. You don't need that, sister-in-law. No. There are some really full-on ones. Dad joined a cult.

I won't say the name of it. Very anti-LGBTQ+. My sister is trans. Very toxic. Too toxic to keep him in our lives. So then they're not talking to Dad. They say he's no longer the man who raised us. That cult's like...

It's got his head. Yeah, didn't they get the worm brains? What do you hear about? Yeah, people that go deep down these conspiracy holes. My mother-in-law is one of those levitating lizard people believers. Made my husband wear mickabockers growing up and worked to pay for a trip to visit the cult when he was 14. What? Prince Harry

still not talking to other members of his family. Turns out that he is part of a big community of people not talking to family members. Wow. Our Turns out that he is part of a big community of people not talking to family members. Wow. Our listeners being a huge part of it as well. I'll question to you this morning, why are you not talking to a member of the family?

Some of them, obviously, we can't read. Like, there is some deep drama here, and you're like, whew! Like, real serious stuff. And then, like, you threw a party on my birthday, and I'm not talking to you for five years. You're like, oh, God. I find it so weird when parents are, like, so immature

and jealous about things. Yeah. It's reading some of them and you're reading the whole thing and it gets to the last line of the text and you're like, man, that was good to have a pre-read on that because of what the uncle said to the entire family at the Christmas table. Oh, okay.

Piece this together for me. Hi, I'm not talking to my sister because she cut me out of her life when I started seeing my now wife who she was going to

leave her husband for. Yes, I am a lesbian. Oh, wow, okay. Wow, so this lesbian was like, this is hot, but she's married and then the sister's like

hey guess what I'm everything she is but single and also currently lesbian yeah and the lesbian's like let's move in together they're done

two weeks later they do two weeks later sounds like a hot lesbian sounds like we've got a hot lesbian on our hands here sounds like a yeah 10 out of 10 lesbian

which is really great given the amount of times lesbians move in with people quickly do you think they get some sort of trailer discount at BP oh

some sort of like they at BP? Oh! Some sort of like, they go on and I'm after the lesbian discount for the higher trailer? And the person working at BP says, well, how long have you known this person? And they're like, less than a month. You get the discount. You get the tip. You pass it.

They're moving real quick. How long have you been together? And then if the lesbian's like, we've been together 12 months, they're like, sorry, no discount. Yeah. Because that's quite a sensible time. That's heterosexual timing. Yeah. We want to stand for it here at BP. My mother refused that's quite a sensible time. That's heterosexual timing.

We won't stand for it here at BP. My mother refused to sign as a witness to my brother's same-sex wedding because she didn't want to be held accountable by God for letting this happen. Well, I'm also gay and currently engaged, and I cannot wait for that. Oh. She doesn't want to be.

So her signature on a piece of paper means that God will hold her accountable. She's a woman with a lot of kids. She's going to live her Christian lifestyle as best she can. She's going to get to the pearly gates. They're going to weigh up her soul on a piece of paper means that God will hold her accountable. She's a woman of the Lord. She's got two gay kids. She's going to live her Christian lifestyle as best she can. She's going to get to the pearly gates. They're going to weigh up her soul on the scale. She's going to pass. And then it'll be like, explain this, Barbara.

Explain this signature. Because you were about to get into the kingdom of heaven. And now this is your signature, Barbara. You're on the slide to hell. Is this all you're writing? You're deemed the gay marriage of marriage, Barbara.

To hell with you, Barbara. Trap door, Barbara's like, no. You know what? Barbara's going to have so much time in hell with the gays.

Oh, the gays are going to love Barbara down there. And she's no longer accountable to God. She's going to be able to cut loose. Listen to this. I said no shit, Sherlock,

to my sister-in-law once and she hasn't spoken to me in nine years. I mean, that is kind of like a... My brother cancelled Christmas and we haven't spoken in nine years because I said, no shit, Sherlock. I mean, she dumb.

She obviously a bit dumb. She a bit dumb. No shit, Sherlock is so funny. I haven't heard it for years. My ex and I stopped talking to his father because he constantly criticised our parents. Even going as far to say we'd sentenced our children to death

because they were vaccinated. Oh God. He's gone and got that all mixed up. Yeah. Of course you vaccinate your children to stop them dying from preventable diseases. People are dying in the States at the moment of measles.

Yeah. Measles are back, baby. Enjoy the measles. And tuberculosis popped its head back up. Now, that's completely treatable, not even with vaccination. That's an early antibiotic situation. Yeah. But you've got to get in there early.

Oh, boy. Boy, lots of you aren't talking to your family. This must save you so much money throughout the year on presents. Yes. I was in hospital after having my son. I had some complications. My sister had her daughter five weeks earlier, and so she expressed milk for my son while I couldn't.

That's very nice. I later found out she'd been smoking weed quite heavily. And that was a big no-no. My son was a NICU at the time. Then she told me, I found out a year or so later, that I knew she'd been. She was... Now the kid...

Then I got high. I was a NICU, and Then I got high. I was a nigger and then I got high. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.