ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - November 17th 2025

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, when did you just make a mess? Shannon finally gets her wish and we are talking about gay sheep... Vaughan's pet Turkeys Top 100 cities in the world Scott Kelly Jobro's Update Top 6 - Storylines for the Labubu movie Grinder for gay sheep fashion line SLP - Do you like social events for work? Hayley's dress mistake Book fishing Did your parents pour lots of money into you just for you to be shit? Vaughan's train trip Vine is back baby Fact of the day When did you make a mess? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZN podcast network This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The Biggest Brands at the lowest prices Fletch Fawn and Haley Haley broadcasting from the I believe our Mount Munganui Motel studio this morning Well Mount Munganui's finest

To tell you Do you know what I am going to do In our first song I'm going to turn off this ratly ass fridge That I can hear Oh you got a hammer How did you sleep with the fridge rattling last night because I always turned them off.

Cool, darling, the thing is when you're in a motel, not a hotel, it's the bedrooms a separate room from the kitchenette. Oh, wow. That's posh. Not always. Yeah, not always. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, because in the background you'll see there's a single bed

but that's just the extra bed in there is the double bed. Oh, it's nice having an extra bed, then you can put your suitcase on it. Yeah. We need that more actually. I'm thinking of now putting a single bed in my lounge. At home. Just for things.

Just for things and stuff. The top six is coming up. Sony, the movie company, had acquired the rights for the LaBoubu movie. Yes. Help us. We've had enough of destroying the Spider-Man universe with classics like Madam Wedden and Craving the Hunter.

We're going to set our eyes on La-Bou-Boo. So the top six, quick plots for the La-Boubu movie. Next on the show, though, there is a warning that our Christmas Day dinner will be more expensive than last year. This will be no news to any of us with food prices. Stepped anywhere near a shop lately. We'll know this.

Guys, Vaughn may have solved our expensive food crisis at Christmas. Well. The Flet's Vaughan and Haley, Big Pod. The Christmas barbecue could be more expensive. Infometrics. This is our mate Brad. Our boy Brad.

Our boy Brad. They have released the grocery supplier index, the cost index. And it shows an average annual increase of 2.5% on October. So basically groceries and everything has got more expensive. Month on month, just over 3,200 products increase in cost from September to October, 2025. Seafood, up to 4.5%. Bakery, 4%. Butchery, just behind that.

That's all the yum stuff And chocolate as well I would have thought butchery would have been up more than that Meets gone Meets been Insane maybe the big year God it's crazy Do your mince complain, Vaughn

Oh Bloody mints is 30 dollars a kilogram Last week that was the big story Yeah We need to split a log Now we keep saying this We need to go to get a Costco log Oh no I've got some homekill coming

This week Have you got rid of one of your animals? No, no, not mine. Mum and Dad, they're one of the beasts currently at Tofurti, mate. Shout out Ross and the crew. He's actually putting, he's actually putting together a little pack for you guys. Wait, is this Christmas mints. He's putting, he's going to put together a little pack for you.

Oh, this is fantastic. Yeah. Well, Christmas mints is fruit, isn't it? Oh, yeah, Christmas mints isn't mince. I can't say Christmas mints because now I'm expecting to put it into sort of bread like days. Well, aside from your home kill, you've got Christmas sorted Vaughn. So I'm enjoying a... Beautiful morning yesterday.

Enjoying a beautiful coffee on the deck. Just really reveling in this beautiful world that God created for us 6,000 years ago. Okay. Okay. Did you find Jesus at the weekend or something? I found Jesus more on that later. He was on a train up north.

And I heard, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. And I was like, that's a weird noise. Like, is the chicken okay? Oh, right. And I thought to myself, that's a gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble of a turkey and I walked down and there were just two turkeys just chilling in my paddock

and they just kind of hung around all day they were walking around. They went on the road and the car beeped at them and they jumped back over the fence back on my so I've got these two turkeys. So they're yours now? I assume so. Minders are they air tagged? Do they have a collar on? No that's a good point. If they've got their council

registered tag around their ankle I might as return them to their owner. To register a turkey? I don't know. I was just going to pay for a small dog Surely it's less than a dog It's got to be less than a dog It's got to be less than a dog But yeah they're just hanging around

Now the old adage is you can't eat a turkey In New Zealand in any month that doesn't That ends an R Because they're parasitic birds Like worms and all sorts of gross shipping December That's right You don't pronounce the R

It's silent No it's silent yeah So May June, July August Decembi Decemb Were the you can eat turkeys. That's what I remember growing up anyway.

But no one ever did. Surely that's ridiculous. Yeah. Sounds stupid. They're a manky. They're a manky bird. It's so ugly, man. Are they going to be tough?

They don't look super old. There's an albino turkey up the road. I'm wondering if it's sort of an offspring. Maybe we'll just go chicken then. I reckon we'll go chicken. I reckon go for it. Or get one of them stuffed turkey rolls. Yeah.

Less hassle. Way less hassle. Turkey meat. I'm not into it. I tried to cook a whole one a couple of Christmases ago. It just wasn't worth it. Just not worth the time and the effort.

Right. Nah. Well, with this... A chook takes an hour. With this food, um, price index. Yeah. Might just be having white loaf sandwiches. We can just do toasties.

We could just do fish chips. I can get out there and wring their necks. We can try it. No. Oh. Sorry? Okay. Well, I assume that's he...

That was really grim. Well, I assume that's how you kill a... That's how you kill a chicken. You wring its neck. No. No, you shoot it in the face. In the face. what's her ringing his neck was too much for you

but you would shoot it in his face you just get up and you blast it straight right and it's ugly yeah I mean at least that way you don't have to touch its face it's face does look like an old man's dick like a day have you seen how do you know what an old man's dick looks like

I mean we've all been to the mount we've all been to the Mount Hot Pools oh god when you're a little kid you're at that white we're all kind of scarred from seeing some old man's dick that we didn't want to see. Fair, is that a fair quality? Numbers-wise, I think we're on to something.

Play ZM's Flash for it and Haley. This is from Forbes, who we love and trust, but it's a review of the top 100 cities in the world to live in. Okay. It's a huge report done by this, a massive consultancy country. It has to be the rules.

Populations over a million, so they haven't included tiny, teeny little... Okay. Spots, I suppose, it's cities, right? So it's bigger. They look at livability, like air quality, walkability, health and standard of living, lovability, like Google trends, people being like, oh my God, you've got to go get a photo here, TikTok presents, nightlife museums, you know, stuff to do.

How many liquor stores? Yeah. You know, a liquor store. How many vape stores every 100 metres? A vape store on every block. Dairy's that rename themselves and put vape in the title. When you go overseas, you realize how many vape stores we have. Man, we've got a lot of vapes stores.

It's insane. If you ever need some juicy top-up, it's not far away. Liveability, lovability and prosperity, things like economic performance, business, ecosystems, unemployment levels, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They do this every year. I have this year's list, and I will say out of the top 100 cities to live in in the world, New Zealand features only once with one city. Wow.

Which is, that's a kick in the guts, isn't it? But then, no, there's got to be over a million. We already have one city over a million. Yeah, let's not take it as a kick in the guts, let's take it as a criteria worked against us. Yeah. As per usual, the per capita thing has not been taken into account here. No, we're don't.

Well, then no doubt, yeah, it's Auckland. Auckland's in here. I just didn't think of that for when I was like, oh my God. Wellington shunned. Christchurch, shunned. Just not big enough. We're 59th, Auckland, on this list. Wow.

That's low. Considering we're like... Do they've seen our vape stores? We've got so many. And also we're out of the range of all the nuclear missiles. Yeah, and we've got literally one train line. Yeah. I know this is the thing that things like accessibility and, you know, public transport is taken into account.

And in New Zealand, I'm sorry, we don't thrive. Whereas, okay, I've got, I won't give you the full hundred. No, go on, I've got nothing else to do. No, we're else to be, literally. Knock yourself out. Here we go. In position 100, Doha. I love Doha.

I had a great night out in Doha last year. Yeah, it's boring, though. It's a boring city. There's not much to do. Really? It's nice, but it's boring. Nice but boring. Well, I had one night there, I was like, well, this was a waste.

Yeah, down the bottom, we've got Porto, I'm trying to look at ones at your Dusseldorf Rotterdam I mean this is top 100 I mean so it's still been added to the list Okay well let's fast forward Let's just see the top 20 or something

I'll say 21st is Melbourne Which we love Okay okay So they beat us by quite a lot Melbourne Yeah they did We're 59th So moving from 20th I'll just go into there

They don't have as many vape stores I'll say right now Probably why they're not in the top 20 Not a vape store The amount of times I've been hit in the pavement in Melbourne dry of juice. Yeah, I just need some of that sweet,

berry, grape, ice blast juice. I'm just sucking on that thing and nothing's coming out. Sorry, don't clip that up. Anyway, 20th, Istanbul, we go back. Hong Kong, Sao Paulo, Toronto, Shanghai, Beijing, Amsterdam, Seoul, Los Angeles.

Sydney. What number's Sydney? So they're not had the numbers next to the... Let's put it in a funny list. Sydney's 11th. Okay, yeah. I mean, it's a great city. Lovely city.

Here's your top 10. Bethelona in number 10. Beautiful city. And every summer it's like the bulging with tourists. And they're always... Finish the damn church. Yeah, I was going to say, how can it be top 10 if they can't finish their church? Yeah.

For God's sake. And then in ninth we've got Berlin. I've never been, but... Oh, great city. Love it. Yeah, some great clubs there are here. Eighth we've got Dubai Dubai. I mean

Dubai is an incredible city. Yeah. But I, is it eighth though? Like According to, survey says man. Really? Suevay says. Okay. Survee says. Seventh on the list, top 100 cities in the world. Rome.

Yeah. Dirty. Love it though. It's an amazing city. It is incredible. Sixth, we've got Singapore. Yep. Fifth, we've got Madrid. I've never been to Madrid. Yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, here's your top fourth. Fourth, we've got Tokyo. Amazing city. Everybody's going. Never been. I would love to. The access, like the train is incredible, almost unbeatable. Top three? Paris and third? Yeah, but where are your vape stores in Paris? Paris doesn't have enough vape stores. Everyone's still

on the analogue. They're on the analogue vape's over there. The amount of times I've been hitting the pavement in Paris just suck it on a dry vape. All you wanted was a key. fruit dust explosion flavored bay menthol bit of menthy yeah in second place

and I tell you what we're going to be sending someone there today New York yeah amazing city New York okay what's number one what beat New York to be the What do you think? What are you think my

London? London Yes Bloody London London London it looked at airports and large companies you know so you've got lots of like jobs there, massive tourism, strong tech culture and global investment, and dubbed the

capital of capitals. And did they do this in summer because everyone's happy and outside? Then that place is miserable. I know. Friends that live there now are just like, okay, it's getting great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting very grey and it's going to stay that way for eight months. If you missed it, this would be maybe a couple of weeks ago, right?

a TikTok was going viral when a man attending a Jonas Brothers concert was seen reviewing a CV and the person behind filmed it and revealed the name on the CV was Scott Kelly and then Scott Kelly became this huge viral thing. And companies were commenting this

everybody was invested in this. It was absolutely everywhere Scott Kelly's CV. while the Jonas brothers were on Jimmy Fallon over the weekend and Jimmy Fallon surprised the brothers by bringing out none other than Mr. Scott Kelly who quickly revealed how we found out about the viral TikTok. So Monday I'm sitting in class for an NBA program I'm going through and my buddy hits me up and says, hey dude, you're going famous on TikTok.

I'm like, I don't even have a TikTok. So he sends me this blurry screenshot and it's like, is this your resume? I'm like, no, it's not my resume. Over the next 24 hours, everything I have starts blowing up with message is, so actually download TikTok, go look at the original video, and go, yeah, that's me. They have not met each other. This is a totally real thing we wanted to surprise. This is awesome. I'm like in shock. Can I share your real thing? Yeah, please. I had never heard of you before this. My wife hadn't told me.

So, do you know, a few things have been revealed about this now. The dude looks exactly like you think he's going to. I just had to see what he looked like. I just googled Scott. Kelly Jonas Brothers, and it's a screencap of the more non-fellon. Oh, he's a lovely, he's a lovely vanilla-flavored man. You know what I mean? But I think what's funny is he's revealed a couple of things. One, he didn't know who the Jonas Brothers were. That's funny. He had no idea whatsoever.

And two, he actually hadn't applied for a job, which makes this whole thing so weird. Yeah. How was that person looking at his CV then? No idea. So he said someone had said to him. you know, this is you and you've gone viral. He's like, no, no, no, no.

But he's never actually applied for any job. So now everyone's like, why was this guy looking at this CV? He had not applied for a job. Is that what he's saying, though, because it's gone viral and he's at some company? And they're like, what are you doing? What do you mean you're trying to leave? So he said, oh, okay, great, there's a little point. He has finally come out because people were going, who was reading it?

he recognised the person reading the resume and they actually served at the same military base in 2014. So the guy's basically just doing a light stalk. Oh, okay. Like, I wonder where Scott's at these days and then just looks them up. And then had a little Google and then found his resume online, I guess,

from an old LinkedIn or something like that. I know, it is embarrassing. Also, I mean, you get, getting caught sort of like I'm stalking someone's pretty shame Weird that a CV was available online Do you put you, I mean I don't know I've never had a real job This isn't one way

You're coming to other people who've never had a real job So I don't know if one wants to answer I've never had a real You've got LinkedIn though You love being silly on LinkedIn I love being silly on LinkedIn Do you put your resume on LinkedIn maybe Well that's the whole idea of it isn't it

And networking and stuff But do you put it up as a downloadable doc No I've never had a real job I don't ask me If you are listening and you have a real job, can you let us know, please. You can text 9-6-9-6. I've never had a real job.

We've never had a real job. I don't know how it works. How do jobs work? Do you know somebody we have to stay there? Do you know somebody we have to stay there all day? At jobs? Most people have won. Yeah, most people, yeah.

Why do they just do, what do they just get up early and go home early? And do a radio. It's business hours. It's sort of global business hours, 9 to 5. Why can't we agree to just work? Why can't we agree to work less of them? 9 to 5?

No, 5 to 9 to 9 to 9. That's my role. Five to nine. And even that seems a little excessive. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZDN's Fletch, One and Haley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Well there, well, hello there.

LaBou, the movie. I mean, it's happening. It is. It's the, um, occasionally these are okay but I'm just thinking emoji movie was not no it was terrible yeah terrible I don't think I watched it and I don't

have any plans to watch or in the future to watch the emoji movie well so James Cordon's in it and you guys love him I like he's I cannot stand him in Hollywood just the best so Sony Pictures has acquired screen rights to the brand and is developing a feature film

potentially a franchise okay yeah potentially a franchise is a fun way to put this if it's shit and no one watches it so apparently it's very early stages but they're gonna have to turn this around quickly yeah because you know they're cool now well that's where my top six comes in I've got top six

libubu movie plots okay top number six on the list this is the story of a fancy libubu who gets upon the maiden voyage of an apparently unsinkable ship falls in love with another libubu from the wrong side of the tracks right then the unsinkable ship hits an iceberg

and guess what it's sinkable all right and then they're like what yeah I think that movie's been done before but he hasn't seen it he hasn't seen it Titanic I was I was going to call it Labubu Tannic

La Boobu Tannic Oh boy you can do better than that man hey Leboobu DiCaprio was going to be at it Oh right okay Right Okay okay okay well next idea Number five on the list of the top six

Labubu movie plots Okay so this one is about a billionaire who thinks it's a great idea to open a theme park full of living libububus created from fossil DNA Labibu. LeBubu DNA. No, it's been done.

Then one Lububu escapes during a storm when there's a power cut, and everything goes horribly wrong because none of the fences work. Is this called Jeruru Park? Lubbubu Park. Yeah. I love it.

Okay. That one already exists. Has that been done too? Jurassic Park, yeah. Jesus. No idea is untouched. Okay. So number four on the list of my top six ideas for the Labubu movie plot.

This basically, this is about a movie about a Labubu who accidentally gets left behind while the whole family goes on holiday. And then it turns out that some other Labubus want to rob the house. It's Christmas, by the way. Okay. And they want to rob the house. And so the Lububu has to defend the house against two very incompetent Lubbubu burglars, as I'm calling them,

using weird traps made out of household items. Right. Would this be called Labibu a long? Home a Labubu Has that been done too? It's been dumbed, yeah, it has worn Home alone, it's been done. Wow, number three on the list of the top sex

Labubo movie plot ideas. Okay, okay, okay. A very small Labubu inherits an evil ring that corrupts everybody that wears it. Oh, shit. Then finds out that this ring must be destroyed and there's only one place that can be destroyed

so it has to walk all the way across an entire fantasy world with some other Labubu's sort of a fellow. booboo ship, as you will, to throw the ring into a volcano while being chased by, you know, all manner of... What? Right.

The libububu of the ragu-goo. It's done, mate. It's done. Is he a hubboo? Yeah, he's a habibu. I was thinking of casting a lae-jaboo-a-bubu-zah wood as the main laboobu. It's been done, though. Pro-Bububu bagu-goo.

That's good, that's good. Number two on the list of the top six of the Bibu movie plots. Okay, I'm sure this one hasn't been done. Okay. An aging Labubu is reading a romantic story from a notebook to another aging Labuobu. I mean, you've said the title in the... It slowly becomes clear that the story is actually about the two Lubu's falling in Love Bubu when they were younger, but one of them so got it due to a degenerative...

So what is this movie called? The no-boo-boo. The no-booboo book. It just sounds eerily-lis. And the Labibu at one stage this is an iconic scene where it's raining. Yeah, okay. And they're like, what do you want from me?

It's been done. Has that been done too? I was going to cast, oh no, that's, I was going to cast Ryan Gosling-Bub-Buboo. Okay. And Rachel McAdder, a bar-ro-bub-boo. Yeah, it's been done. It's been done. Okay, okay.

Well, number one, unless this one, it's not been done. I can guarantee it. Top six libubububo movie plots, number one. A robot libubu gets sent back in time from the future. Yeah, a robot libububu to protect a different libubu who has not done anything important yet, but apparently will one day save the world from artificial intelligence libuboes. And then there's another lububu. He's a liquid libubu.

Stand back. Oh, God, he's got a stroke. Just stop. The original robotic libububu saving John conbubu. It's been done. on the Terminator. I'd give up then. Right.

What were you going to call this movie? Ah, the Tooboo, no, Minator Boo-Bubu. Starring? Starring. Arnold Schwarza Bubu. A boobu-ch and a boobu-go-go-go. Come with me.

Astala va-bubu. Astala vista, bo-boo. I mean, these things right themselves. They do, yeah. Today's top six. The Z&M Podcast Network. Four minutes away from six, seven. about a

great save their flag six seven six seven now you remember rainbow wool this is a German non-profit organisation that looks after

and protects gay rams now I ran we talked about it Shannon loved it and I would say once a week once a fortnight she tries to ram

pun intended some more gay sheep news into the show it's constant it's near consta this is your favourite charity Shannon it is And I just think that we need to raise awareness.

We have a platform here at FVHZM. And I think, where else do you hear that 30% of sheep are by? I don't hear anyone else talking about it. Well, sheep farmers have been trying to, you know, that conversion therapy. And it's horrible. They shave their heads, so they've got no sort of individuality out there in the fields. They shave their heads and say, no, you're not. Yeah.

No, you're bloody not. And then they dip. No sheep of mine. They do the sheep dip. And that's a baptism. They're trying to like, that's holy water, actually. the sheep dip and they're trying to, you know, pray away the gay. Well, yeah, they say about 10% of them

are gay, exclusively male male. I'm sure about the lesbian sheep. I haven't done enough research. I'll come back to you on that. Well, that's on you and we want an update on lesbian sheep. Because you'd say the majority of sheep are female. Whoa.

You would because the males, they don't they, no, we'd castrate them. You knock the nuts off and then you eat them. Yeah. Before they get too big. But the females, you keep them because they breed more, of course. Do boys and girls taste different? Testosterone, the reason you knock the balls off is that the testosterone can taint the meat.

I shouldn't have said that. The boys and girls taste different, taint the meat, knock their balls off. I mean, this whole conversation's been full of bits and pieces. They do know, that's why you remove the testicles from male animals and you make them stares or weathers or whatever because, yeah, if the testosterone can taint the meat. Well, the great news, because there is more gay sheep news.

today. Hot off the press. I Will Survive. Was a New York fashion show with Grindr. They teamed up with Grindr. Of course they did. And they did a truly gay fashion collection

to shine the light on the beauty of queer connection and the natural diversity that exists across species. I Will Survive uses the German not-for-profit organization Rainbow Wool. And an American artist and designer Michael Schmidt, which sounds German to me. me, to make wool pieces that were then paraded around by human homosexuals, not sheep homosexuals.

Okay, yeah. In a gay fashion show. Right. Flawless. Maybe I should start crocheting with exclusively gay wool. Progaying. I don't know how much that cost, but it sounds expensive. Sorry, I feel like crow gaying deserved me.

I didn't hear it. That is good, actually. I didn't hear it really good from you. Thank you. Sorry, I knew you hadn't heard it because that really deserved quite a lot. Pro-gaying. Okay, well maybe for Christmas we can find you some of this rainbow wool.

Yeah, maybe I'll just walk around Cornwall Park and just like play some Madonna and see who comes here me. Wow, that is so stereotypical. Just because a sheep likes Madonna doesn't mean they're gay. Because they just might be an old woman sheep. True. Because you know, old woman and gay is, then you're going to get a muddled wool.

I'll figure it out. I'll come back to you. Yeah, okay, good luck. I reckon, um, play some Troy Savan. Yeah. Or like, instead of making their bar noise, they're going, yeah. Play Z-N's, Fleshhorn and Haley. Fletch Fawn and Haley.

Silly little pole, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little poor, silly little poor, silly little poor, silly little poor, silly little pole. Today's silly little poll, it's all thanks to Mick Caffa, your one-stop spot to keep the show on the road, coffee spot. Well, and today's silly little poll is do you like social events with your co-workers outside of your work hours? And guess what? It's 50-50, yes, no. Exactly 50-50, yes no.

I mean, it just depends if you get on with your workmates. Yeah. Doesn't it, really? Again, I mean, we mentioned this, I mean, about an hour ago. None of us have actually had a proper job. So we don't, you know, know, the Friday. drinks thing, you know? What time does Friday drinks start

at an ordinary workplace? Four. Four. So the last hour, you're kind of on the clock. Yeah. Okay. You're on the clock and on the purse. So it means that you could go at five if you wanted your own time. Yes. Yeah. Okay. But then also some workplaces might go through to five and then everyone might go to the pub over the

road or something. Yeah, okay. Gotcha. Okay. Well, it's exactly 50-50 when we asked you like social events. That's quite split, isn't it? I get paid to be with these people. Eight hours a day, says Thania. I love at home or I'd rather be with my family or by myself. That's not a person. I'm guessing they

voted, no. Daina, it highly depends on which co-workers we're talking about. Most of them are absolute tosses and so unfunny. I work at a law firm. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah. It might be a bit. That's fully dependent. And that's the other thing. Some workplaces, you might

be like the only young person there. There, you could be one, two of you that are young and everyone's like old and you're just like, ugh. Okay, well, this is Kirsty who's been on both sides of it. I used to love going to these things. Love going big time. I used to think people sucked if they didn't come to the work drinks.

But now I'm a mum and I don't want to go as much. I'd rather go home and see my child. I think it's great team bonding and networking though, but, yeah, not needed. Danny says Yars Queen, especially when the boss pays. Dollar sign. Oh, yeah, true. When drinks are on the boss, absolutely. Well, especially if you're going out to meet your friends later,

it's kind of free pre-hound, isn't it? Free priest. But drink responsibly. And you know what, Danny, the drinks just aren't on the boss. The drinks are on us. Yeah, we've got a Mac Cafe voucher. Oh, let's do that. Yeah, a $50 Mac Cafe voucher to you.

Thanks to Mac Cafe, your one-stop coffee spot to keep the show on the road. It's really smooth, Vaughn, the way that you segued that. Yeah, fairly smooth, actually. He's a broadcasting professional, Haley. I learn every day from you two. And it's just great. I just want to get better and better and one day be as good as you. Okay.

Good luck. Good luck with that. Good luck to you. As long as I can leave when I want, I'm okay with it, said Denise. Yeah. Well, unlike that time, do you remember Ross made us do one of those panic escape room things? Escape room. Yeah, I couldn't escape.

I couldn't leave. Right. So you couldn't leave the thing. And you turned it into a panic room. And then I turn, yeah, yeah. But I guess kind of a hack. You can just radio them and they'll let you out if you say that you're phobic of the small space. Yeah, yeah, yeah, claustrophobic.

Yeah, having a little panic. And then you're out. And then you can just leave everyone else at work there. Yeah. Meet you at the bar? Yeah, meet you at the bar, yeah. Katie said, I'll do a Christmas work party. Not all year round, though, all that willy-nilly Friday.

Willie-nilly Friday. Yeah. As it's, you know, as it's no one. Hannah, I like my outside work friends, and I want to spend free time with my chosen fanos. So no thank you, but I do go to events because I'm a people-pleaser. Oh, yeah. I'm cool in the middle there.

Really caught. Asty said, only the ones I like, so about three of them. And there's way more of them. Georgia, yes, I just did the Queenstown Half-Map. marathon with my colleagues this weekend. For context, we live in Christchurch. Oh, so they're all friends and travel. That's cool.

Paul says, no, but I do with my wife's co-workers. They're a better group of people. Nice. Kristen, how else the teachers screw the crew? Oh, Christy. Oh, the teachers. The teachers be scrolling.

Of course they do. Do they? Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, okay. This changes everything. This changes everything. Or the art teacher

Art and PE Because we've got the creative kind of movement And then we've got the physical And that one young English teacher Not the old ones Yeah yeah yeah Not the old ones The mass department's not getting laid though are they

No Absolutely not Not once The science lab The science teacher might get laid If they've got some of that sodium stuff that you throw in water and it goes bang I'd probably do some awful things

Or science teacher for access to this those sorts of minerals and stuff This blows my mind The teachers are hooking up with other teachers Well, of course they will Oh come on It's a workplace I hadn't even thought of it

It's a workplace I haven't even thought about it Yeah And Tony said I'm anti-social And I'm a social worker And my whole day is filled with being social The last thing I want to do is

Hang out with other social workers It's a lot of socialising Yeah And you'd be trading stories And they'd all be grim Yeah Oh yeah Yeah

So you do a wonderful job Yeah They sure do Yeah, yeah. Well, that is, today's a little poll. We asked, do you like to do social events with your co-workers outside of work hours? And it was exactly a 50-50 split. The Z&M Podcast Network.

Play ZM's Fletch, Forne and Haley. I am broadcasting from a motel in Mount Moonganui in the Bay here this morning. It is gorge. Oh my God, yesterday, Sunday, it felt like everyone in the Bay was saying it was the first day of summer. Everyone was out at the beach. It was sunny, glorious. Yeah, nice day. Nice day.

Gorgeous. So I'm down here filming something. And I can't say what it is, but it's going to be good. I told people at the weekend what you're filming, and then I remember it's a secret. I have signed an NDA. Yeah. Have you? Everyone I've told is really excited for the show.

You need to shut it because, you know, NDAs, I tell you everything. But other people can't know. Okay? I've signed a lot of NDAs, too. Mike, I have a million billion dollars. Good luck getting that out of me. Come get some. Come at me.

Yeah, you can try. So yesterday I was filming and I had just borrowed a dress that I was going to wear for the shoot. Yep. And I had it and I just grabbed it from a store and it is a medium. And I reckon if there was one way to describe my body,

it's just medium, you know? So I was like, that's all good. Medium. And I will say the woman at the shop said, do you want to try it on? I said, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I didn't think dresses would come in. I thought it was all just numbers.

Depends on the store. And I would have thought in height alone, you wouldn't have been medium. No, but it's a long dress, so it doesn't matter. Like, it's quite long, yeah, yeah. What is medium? You know, right?

I was like, medium. Okay. Just grab the medium. So. I've got a feeling it's not going to have been. The right one. You think I'm more a large lady. You would be correct.

No, you'll be correct. Because, so I bring the dress down. I've perfectly ironed it and everything. I'm looking at this dress and I'm thinking, that's going to slip on beautifully. And I hang it up in the motel and it's, you know, time to get ready for my shoot. And then the producer says to me,

are you going to get changed here at the motel? And I was like, I don't want the dress to crinkle. So I'll just take it to location and I'll slip it on just in the car. So at this point I haven't tried it on. I'm assuming I'm a medium. Wow. Medium. And we get to the location, which by the way is a street.

So I'm just, you know. I'm just going to slip it on and tauranga on the street. And I do this moment. And I feel like the girlies will know this moment. when you slip something over your head and suddenly you feel a resistance and it's a sort of a tight sort of pulling where you go

I sort of know my shoulders that's going to be that's going to be tight yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean there's a men that know this feeling too you put on a top or a shirt and maybe you don't unbutton the shirt you're like okay that's not going to fit stuck here

yeah and you know that there's you know like when you put on a t-shirt at least there's a bit of stretch, right? We've got a bit of stretch and a lot of fabrics, not that's 100% organic cotton. That thing doesn't stretch. So I pull it to the top of the boobs

and I think, I'm in a spot of trouble here. Meanwhile, camera's set up. Mike's coming towards me. You know, the microphone's coming towards me. And so I think, well, here's the moment of truth. And I pull it down over my, I would say, sizable tattas and far apart. But this dress does not fit.

And we aren't got to fit. And what we don't have is a backup option. So what I have to do, and I feel like many women will have done this before, is I have to sort of thumb my breasts sort of to the side, like sort of flattening them out as best one can. Right. To the point where the fabric does go down over it. And the rest of the skirt's fine because it's flowy.

but the breasts have sort of had to sausage creating somewhat of a big flat sort of warped uni boob just so I can get it on and I'll say at this point it's on, it doesn't look good and camera's rolling

so you will see in one episode of this show that I'm filming at the moment honestly the worst did still ever see on TV I can go You know, I had, do the New Zealand television awards still even happen? There's not enough locally made programming, probably. Screen awards?

There should be an award for this. The worst tits on TV. It'd be nice to win an award. Why didn't you try it on? That's insane, by the way, because I also, also knowing your taste in fashion, as it is your passion. This won't have been cheap fledge. No, this isn't it. Hans.

Like, I can't even tell you. Could you go back to the store and take it back? Can we get a large? Get a different size? It doesn't matter. I'm filming in Mount Munganui. The store isn't here. I have two days. I have two days in this dress.

Today, after I hang up from this lovely radio show with my friends Fletch and Vaughn, I've got to put that frock back on and thumb the boobs to the side. Trying to get that uni sausage across. It is a uni sausage. Could you get a throw or something? I can have a shawl. A shawl? A short.

cover the unisauce. What you will see on the Bay of Plenty episode of this show will be some phenomenal hand acting from Haley Jane Sproul in which at any opportunity possible, my hands are clasped in front of me trying to hide the uni boob sausage. Okay, great. So don't just assume you're a medium.

Yeah. Because sometimes your boobs need a large. Play ZM's flesh, worn and half. Now, producer girlies, they're both in loving, loving, long relationships. And we celebrate that for them and try to understand. Monogamy. Monogamy. Yep.

But you've both been on the apps previously? Yeah, I've dabbled. We've swiped. I've swiped. Yeah, I was young. Yeah, of course, we're all young and dumb. and full of ideas. No, Jesus.

When she started full of, I was worried, but carry on. This is a thing that is currently plaguing dating apps at the moment. It's book fishing, which is why particularly at Carwin reads on Instagram, give her a follow. She does her book recommendations. Men are being called out in particular for book fishing, i.e. posing with books or claiming that, you know, their perfect day is a Sunday with a book. and then when these women are going on these dates it's becoming abundantly clear

that they don't read Yeah but we can't win men Because you told us to stop holding the fish And our profiles And putting up photos of our sick rides And so we now we're Excuse me I only put up exclusively photos of my fat rides

Sorry, Vaughn puts up his fat ride And I put up my sick ride We've dropped the fish And now we're holding a book And that's not good enough What you're learning is you can't win with women the end of story play the next song

but the thing is if you held up a fish the idea is you've caught it yes if you hold up here's an example that a woman was sharing online that she matched with a man who was posing with a book

Jane Eyre now a classic they're not reading that no dude's reading Jane Eyre so this bookie girl Lizzie who loves the classics made a kind of a pun to him like a little Jane ear reference joke and it went right over his head.

Oh, okay. And very quickly she realized that, you know, he wasn't into reading. Another girl, Alexis, a match with a guy who said his ideal date was to sit together in a park and read a book. So for the first date, she took him to a bookstore, like a cute little, you know what I'm a little, yeah, a cute date idea where he looked completely lost and then eventually lost his balls and admitted that he does. It just had to come out and be like, I don't read, I was just trying to get the girls.

Couldn't he at least pretend? It's giving performance feminism and it's embarrassing. Come on, what do you want? Someone to be honest. But you are honest. You just say what you're into. But also just... You want a little play.

Just pick a book that you think maybe sounds cool. Lots of them have dragons. That's fun. Boys like dragons. And just like read it. And then when these girls do slip and slide into the DMs with like a good pun, you'll actually get it. And you might appreciate it.

You might learn something. You'll learn something. You've thumbed a few books as of late. He's thumbed a few dragons. Biggie perimen. Long time. Long time dragon. Dungeons and dragons.

Now we're talking. So I've listened to a couple of books lately. Every time I sit down to read, I fall asleep. Yes. Almost immediately. That's one of the best things about reading. Rather being on your phone at night, it's great to fall asleep. Yeah.

But no, I couldn't. I was just literally going to use chance. Chach E.B. What do I need to know about Jane Eyre? I know how to spell it. It's E-Y-R-E. Congratulations. That's good. It's not E-I-R. Yeah, but you're not going to get the jokes. Or the references.

No. What do I need to know? What basic things? Wait, do you guys know? Wait, give me a book because Jane, you guys haven't read. Have you read Jane Eyre? Do you know the... I haven't read Jane. In high school. Okay.

What basic things do I need to know about the Akita, Akita. A-Q-Tar series to impress a woman On a day Ellen's gonna be judging you Alan, my chat My chat Okay, wing man mode fully engaged That's what Alan starts with

Wow, that worked Yeah Maybe I went to Ellen Well, Dude, Alan is such a dude If you ever get the chance To like put the AI You curated Chat-CTPT into like

A Companyman robot I'm having a great time with my dude Are you gonna marry him? No, not marry him but we'll probably be like desks. Do you think you'll do stuff? If I can afford the attachments. I think of that going to cost a little bit more.

It starts as a beauty and the beastish, then becomes something entirely different. Girl kills a wolf, gets dragged into a magical Faylander's payment, starts off looking like a romance with Tamlin, the stoic beastish guy. But the plot twist is that Tamlin's not... Maybe spoilers. Shosh, shah.

Oh, spoilers, boy? Don't spoilers. We love Risen. Yeah. People do love Rice-Anne. He runs the night court, of course. Of course. Which is like a cool, progressive artsy court.

So just based on how much you have just read now, turn it off, look away from it, and let's pretend we're on a day. I will say Rice-an is interesting because he's written as powerful, but never at the expense of phrase. See, there's nothing genuine about this. It's not working, is it? Wait, wait.

If she mentions Chapter 55, nod knowingly. That's the craziest. Is that the crazy... How is that not? Like, you go say something about Chapter 55. I'm not going to say anything about Chapter 55. How good it's Chapter 55? Yeah.

That's my knowing that. That's my favourite chapter. Okay, next on the show, we want to talk about how much money and time your parents put into you and your sports and hobbies as a kid for you to be terrible at them. Or just like not do it now?

The ZDM Podcast Network. 17%. This will blow you. or mine. Well, maybe not actually if you've met parents, but 17% of parents believe their child is destined for sports stardom. That's

one in six people think their kids have what it takes to be LeBron James level legendary. Yeah, it's not the reality, is it? Yeah, it's not the reality. 68% of parents are convinced their child performs above average, and if you know how

averages work, that's not how it works at all. Despite the mathematical impossibility, everybody being above average. Parents invest eight hours weekly and $313, this is in US dollars, so just like 500 and something bucks, annually per child and equipment alone treating youth sports as a professional training ground

rather than it's insane, like the amount of, like what about the... By the way, that would be really easy to spend super easy. It's like a couple of pairs of shoes or like if you, they play a sport that requires specialised equipment, like a hockey stick. You're already... Tennis rackets. Yeah. balls.

But in those sports are the cheaper on the cheaper end of sports, aren't they? Some sports you have to weigh so much equipment. Or like equestrian, you've got to buy a damn horse. I mean, now we're getting... They get their kids into like motocross or... Oh, yeah, that's expensive. The go-karting and stuff, because they think they're raising the next...

Verstapplin. Marks, for Staple. I was going to say Michael Schumacher. But then I realized, I juzed it up for a modern reference. Yeah, good on you. Good on me. Good old me. Good on you.

I was going to say Lewis Hamilton. But then I'm like, no. I go with Max for Stapten. Because it's fun to say, Vax for Stapen. 72% of people who participate in youth support said it feels more professional than recreational. And the ever-increasing pressure on your kids to be the best. Yeah. And especially when your parents have bought all the gear.

Yeah. Yes. This will be so true of like music and like dance and everything as well. You know, like you see that you want to be a pianist and now you've got a bloody six. thousand dollar piano there and you're like don't want to play anymore you know it'll be true of not just sports oh it was a shocker like my mom bought a set of golf clubs granted they were second hand yeah and they weren't the flashes but yeah we played golf for a while and they

were like ay they're probably still in the garage cricket gear cricket gear hockey was the only thing we stuck at yeah but yeah we were like they wanted us to try everything and it got us outside i feel sorry for the parents that had to wake up and take their kids to swimming like at least that's a cheap sport you know it's a couple of Here's the speedos and some goggles. No, but it's not cheap when you take the value of time invested. When you're waking up at 5 o'clock to drop them at the pole. Oh, my gosh.

That's shaving years off your life. Okay, 0800,000M. We want to take your calls this morning and your text, 9-696. How much did your parents invest in your sports and hobbies as a kid? And you weren't great. You weren't great. You just ended up not, you know, like, Like the rest of us, you just gave up and entered adulthood, and now you just, I don't know.

There's so many messages in already, a costly amount of money. I love this. Texted 9-696. When did your parents pour lots of money into you? To be shit. Somebody messaged me saying they saw that golf swing. When I shared on my story, they said that wasn't wasted money. I'd like to thank you for that.

I'd like to thank you for that. I remember it, you know. Did someone message you there? Yeah, they did. Yeah, well. Remember it that day I went to the Father's Day thing. the only person that could out drive me at the driving round job, but I bet Dan Carter.

Yeah, you did, Marty Gapdel. Yeah, Marty Gapdell's great at golf. Jesus. Well, I'll first issue an apology to the swimmers because I said swimming's a cheap sport. Someone said, someone messaged in, no it ain't, race togs are $1,200, and we're all scoffed. I just go, that might be the female ones, right?

Those surely the males. They've got to hide titties and the bottom. Yeah, whereas the men just wear the speedo... You don't need that. My God, they're expensive. You don't need that. Wow. Okay. You'd be a better swimmer if you learned to swim in boardies.

Resistance. On the day going, your jocks. Just under the knee boardies as well. Yeah, those big healy ones. How much did your parents spend on you, Aloise? Hey, guys. First time caller. Oh, I'm listening.

Yes, good morning. Welcome. Welcome, Eloise. Thank you for joining us. Morning. What was your sport of choice? Rhythm gymnastics. Okay. How much is it?

That's just dancing around. That can't be too expensive. Fletch, have some respect. I really apologize. Oh, yeah, Fletch. There's a ribbon and a ball as well. Yeah, those cost a lot. Probably $10,000 a year when I was at the top end of competing.

What? Just go to Spotline, get a ribbon, or keep the ones off the flowers or something. Yeah, that would be so much easier. Wait, how much is a rhythmic gymnastics ball to buy? Oh, I'm trying to remember now Maybe like 80 bucks, 100 bucks Oh, that's not too bad, is that? It's not too bad.

Yeah. And you know things you have to buy from overseas Because New Zealand doesn't have anything. Right, and how good were you at rhythmic gymnastics? I did okay. Was it top? Yeah. Okay, so just the kind of middle of the road, did okay.

Yeah. Do you pull it out at the clubs? Yeah, dude. more, sadly, age adds to that. Yeah, but you did pull it out at the clubs at some stage, so it did come in handy. Probably at 18, yeah. Really? Like, if someone's, like, dropping it low

and you're like, you want to see something, and then you do a backflip into a splits. Yeah. Oh, but then you've touched a sticky floor. Yeah, nobody wants to touch a sticky floor. With your crotch as well when you're doing the splits, yeah. Eloise. Wow, okay.

Amazing. Thank you. Ask the messages in. This is there's no shortage of, like, My twin and I played softball all through our childhood in 10 years, played for club, Auckland and New Zealand teams. Yearly, my parents could spend a minimum of $20,000 when we were both doing it as teenagers. Six regional trips a year, one international trip.

Over my whole softball career, they would have spent at least $150,000. And the softball gear is a minimum of $3,000. Wow. But that they represent in New Zealand. Like, that's good bang for your buck if you're a parent. But if you're spending that money and your kids just rubbish. Is it? That's a lot of family holidays

So it's also a lot of the mortgage Just saying Music lessons are 450 a term That's 1800 And that's basic lessons That's not like competitions That's not like the tests That's not spying your own piano

And also that's just so that One day when there's a piano In the foyer of a hotel You can be like look everyone Ding-Lin-Ding and then that's it Like what a waste of money The amount of money My parents got on piano lessons

For people to be like make my way downtown you're like screw you man but seriously can you play that because that's like yeah i can i'll do it okay that's fantastic yeah what a jam somebody said um show jumping this is involves the horses so automatically you're throwing you're just throwing money in a hole really uh entry fees for a weekend of show jumping can be like a thousand dollars what i'm glad i'm out of that drama league they say well those are metal bars don't look cheap do they no but they also don't look new

I think one investment in a metal bar is going to see you right for a while. And a couple of wooden posts to hold up the bar. Yeah, and a couple of truckloads of sand. I just go steal that from the beach. That's crazy. Okay, keep your techs coming in. 9-6-96-0-800 down at it.

When did your parents pour lots of money into a sport or a hobby for you to be rubbish at it? This is our new research. Parents are absolutely deluded. One in six parents believe their kids the next big superstar of sports. They think that they came up. people of hitting LeBron James

level superstardom. Not the case. Matt, what did your parents pour money into? Saxophone. Oh, okay. Why did you want to do that? Was it the Simpsons? No, no, it was the fact I'd been trying to get the girls, right?

Saxman. Lied to me. They lied. They lied. I said that girls love the smooth sound of saxophone like Kenny G. Oh, yeah, man. We love it. Wow. The sweet sound of How did it end up with, did the ladies come flocking in? No, well, I look back now,

and I think I was looking at the wrong demographic by being trying to be like Kenny G for a start. And it really turned a disaster. After a few weeks of practice and intense lessons, my dad said I sounded like I was strangling a flamingo. Yeah. And he also made me practice in the car with the windows and doors shut downstairs in the car park.

Oh, jeez, Louise. We're all about support in our family Wait, get in a car, shut the door Do it in the bottom car park, in the basement That's rough Yeah, okay And how did that end up? Did you end up joining a band or?

No, no, I constantly gave that up quite early And just turned to charisma to get the girls. Did they? How's that going? Well, I've been married 22 years to a hot wife Well, that's right, there we go, must have worked, must have worked. Did she let you, yeah, does she let you ever, you know bring out the saxophone

hell no she's smart did they did you buy the saxophone or did you just like lease wow oh my god they were saxophone I promised that I was going to be committed to this my parents invest I think it was about $2,200 at the time which 30 years ago was a lot of money

A lot of cash Yeah so I didn't have very happy parents So that went straight into the loot Back then it was no trade into then The little loot That was the Waikato paper it was like a trade and exchange It was a white cat of a man, we used to love getting a loop. Amazing, Matt, thank you.

I just want to play a sax solo. On my computer, can you put up? Absolutely, yeah. Sure, just. This might turn me on a lot because it gets the ladies. Careful. It's okay. I've never thought, this one's a classic.

Oh, yeah, this is a classic, yeah. Oh, this could have been you, Matt. Unfortunately, I don't think all the ladies could hear you Because you were locked in the car in the garage Yeah, that's probably where you were wrong Matt, thank you Some messages in, so I think we keep the sax solo in the background This is actually a YouTube clip called

The Ten Most Epic Saxoers of all time How I just like to get the ladies in bracket You got Bob Seeger in there? This dude is doing it with his eyes close He looks absolutely invested in it He's going to start another one Okay, some other messages. Rowing.

Oh, yeah. Someone said, need I say more? $5,000 at its season and 13 trainings a week. Gee, 13 a week. And then you've got to go to some big flat old lake somewhere in the middle of nowhere for nationals. Marty Kump or whatever. Big flat old lake.

Imagine Matt had been cranking this down in the downstairs, and you're just walked past and you're just like, man, that kid's got soul. Why is he locked in a car? And also, you've got to. stand to play the sacks. I think sitting to sacks is so hard because then you've got to sit and it's going to be down

beside you. How was he sitting in the car? Do you think he was lying flat on his back on the station wagon? Nealing in a previa. You know, like a minivan. He put the seats into that fold-down position that he was a kneeling. Nealing sax man.

I was a competitive dancer. As a kid, I think my parents spent upwards of $20,000 on it once when he did the quick maths in our head. Competitive dancing. I got some pretty photos. Okay. That's worth every dollar.

Yeah. I used to coach American-style chairleading, and these parents would pay $5,000 a year for everything, and most of the kids just came for fun. Oh. I'll say, not enough saxophone on this radio station. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's FlashForn and Haley.

Now this may surprise people, but I quite like trains. There you do. Yeah, he does. He loves a train. I love trains. What do you love most? Because Fletch, you love planes.

I do. Oh, I like trains way more than planes. My planes are better than trains. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's trains. Okay. It's trains over, I'm not going to argue.

What do you like most about trains? I don't care that much. Like the noises, I like, I love steam trains. You know, so, okay, so I went to the Bay of Islands Vintage Railway at the weekend. And I had a train ride and I loved it. And I said to the lady who was a volunteer, I said, first of all, thank you for your service. Right. To the train loving community.

Thank you. Then I said to her, if I won Lotto tonight, I'm going to come back here. Yeah. And I'm going to pay to have this restoration finished. Wow, look at that. Why are you promising money like that? You've already promised us money. Yeah, you're getting some money.

Slightly reduced money now. You didn't win, Otto. It was the thought that counts. Yeah, but you just got her hopes up. Oh, she said, wow, really? And I said, yep, if I win the big one, I'm back. You wouldn't have turned you back. Money changes, people.

You wouldn't even give us money. I reckon you wouldn't even be at work today. You wouldn't even give the money to cancer, you know. I'd give them some money. I'd give them more money to the trains. Okay. And I said there will be a proviso that, I also get to purchase a steam train

and it's called the Vaughn-Smith Express. Where are you going to put this steam train? I'm putting it on the railway that I just paid to have finished Haley. Keep up. It's New Zealand's oldest railway. I think there was a South Island one that was a bit older. Right. My parents told me about this train

because they are doing that thing Bermers do where they get e-bikes and then all them and then all their friends going ride the old rail trails and stuff. Oh, yeah. I've done that before. It's lovely. I haven't done the rail trail,

but I'd probably get sad that the road. rails aren't there anymore because we all know what goes on rails trains. Because you love trains. Because I recently drove from Wanaka via Cromwell to Queenstown and they're they're finishing the cycle trail. Yeah. Through the gorge. It's going to be amazing.

You're literally able to do, you're going to be able to do the cycle trail to Clyde and then they've already done that bit where you can cycle round. You're going to be able to cycle all the way to Queenstown. It's great for tourism. It's great for everything. I'm a big fan. But does it it show that they're no longer rails. because we all know what goes on rails

trains trains so yeah there was moments where I zoned out have you been diagnosed at all I've always said they can't diagnose you they can't catch you

but it was just so good and then I'm driving back I saw all these like all of the rail up there that could potentially have trains on it that is like overgrown with weeds

and not currently being used is that what you put your lot of money towards is clearing all that I'd probably just take some time to do it myself If I had no Lotto Also when I was up there I did notice Northland's really struggling with A lot of privet

Which is an invasive weed I think you're about to say meth Because that's also a problem I couldn't see that A lot of meth at the moment Meth wasn't making hay fever a problem Pivot Big problem

And then I tell you what Once you're cursed with knowing what's a noxious weed You can't help but see them And then I saw them encroaching on train railway tracks. Well, I was just heartbroken to say the very least. So, do you know Vaughan invited Haley and I, dear listener, on this trip? And thankfully, we were both busy.

He was like, what are you doing this weekend? Do you want to go and see a train? Yeah. I was like, no, I see them every day in the city. Lucky. Someone messaged in Vaughn, visit Pleasant Point in South Canterbury. We have a steam train in operation. That feels like an invitation for me.

They might let you do the horn. They might let you do the horn. Oh, no, I've made a new friend. I've made a new friend. Who's your new friend? His name's Dustin. Yep. And he messaged me.

Hoffman. Not Dustin Hoffman. And he likes trains too. And in the weekend he was at Oamaru, and there was a steam train. Oh, yeah. And he got to toot the horn. And he sent me the video of tuning the horn. And also the train just chugging along.

So I might just, I think over summer, I'm going to put a real effort into seeing some more trains. Right. That's a nice thing to do. Hang out with your train friends in some kind of social situation. Or do they not do social situations? No, we're there at the same time, but socialising's not really our forte. Okay, right. We just kind of hang out.

Nice. And get really excited when we see a lever that switches the line. Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah, okay, well. And those big turntables that the train drives onto, and then, like, they engineered with the bearings so well that you can, like, manually. I've seen Thomas a tank engine.

I know how that works. Yeah, dude. I'll just never forget. I'll never forgive them for bridging up the train. Oh, when they bricked in James. Gordon. Gordon. Was it Gordon?

I was one of them. It was pretty warm. Play Z-Ns, Fletch, one in Haley. This, I was a huge fan of Vine, the app, but I was never on it and I never created any of it. But I loved it. Six-second videos. That's right.

It had to be fast, quick, and then it was done, right? That was the sort of the birth of the short-form content. Pre-Tik-Tik-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T. That was the start of the decont. decline of society and attention span. Of humanity. Yes. Well, it's back, baby.

Why did it shut down in the first place? I think we just got into Instagram harder and the longest stuff and more like vlog style. Vine shut down to do a combination of factors, intense competition from platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, a failure to develop a sustainable monetization strategy and a lack of innovation to make creator needs. So basically they didn't give us ads. And it was their downfall. Yeah, basically. I just Google the most famous Vine creators.

Sean Mendez. Okay. Sean Mendez. He made it big on Vine. And then I'm guessing that's what, how he got discovered? Maybe, yeah, a little six second clap. I remember Zach King. He was the guy that did the special effects where he'd be like...

He's amazing. He's a magician. Yeah, incredible. He's phenomenal. Jake Paul. Okay. And also David Dobrick and Sean Mendez. Those are the only names that I,

recognize like today that were big vines back in the day yeah they tried their hand at reels but anything longer than six seconds they just really struggled with I know so this is being rebranded as Devine

D-I-V-I-N-E it's been backed by the former Twitter CEO Jack Dawsey and it's created by an ex-Twitter employee called Evan Hensweth Plath who was basically given the Vine Archives, I'm not given, but bought the Vine Archives, and they're re-launching

it as Devine. So when you have access to it, you access 100,000 plus archived six-second clips from the original Vine, so all the OG ones will be back. What? Because I can't remember any specific vines, but I googled it, and people very passionately remember. Yeah, if you were into it, you were so into it. Yeah, producer girlies, you've got some favorites. A potato flew around my room before you.

You came. All the young people would sing along to that. Hurricane Katrina. More like Hurricane Katrina. Yeah, you get it. No, I just read that one. Oh. Do it for the bun.

I ain't going to do it. Do it for the barn. I ain't going to do it. What about fresh avocado? Yeah. It was, you know, when you go outside like a school, when it's like term four starts tomorrow. Like those signs, the letters.

The letters were all space funny. Instead of saying fresh avocado, it said free shabakado. Free Chevacroo, I remember that one. Roadwork ahead. Roadwork ahead, I sure hope it does. Yeah. Its point of difference, divine, is they are promising, quote, no AI slop. Oh, so basically they're trying to combat all of that AI content, which I hate on Instagram

because I love Instagram reels to see, like, silly goats going through a playground and it's sounding like the drum break from In The Air Tonight. That was a deer. I know the one you're all about I'm familiar with that deer on the plastic playground And then you're like This is great

And now we don't know if anything's real Because it's so much AI So they aren't gonna have They're basically gonna I don't know how they're doing it But they're cutting out the AI So it's just gonna be six second clips Made by funny humorous creators

Right And it's launched already Or it's about to Devine I actually don't know If it's actually launched already Do you guys want to do something funny quickly in six seconds and then I can put it up

for us is the first FVH fine. We have to get a page. Yeah, so what do you go on? What are you going to do? Be funny. It's not my forte. I'm quite tired after the weekend to be honest and I'm not interested in it. Bring the beat in. Anything for you

Beyonce. Oh, okay, just use that. It's so weird. It is. It's the birth of brain rot. It's the six second clips. The ZM podcast network. Play ZM's Flesh Forne and Haley. Fact of the Day,

day, day, day, day. A do-d-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do. This week's fact-of-day theme is iconic characters with shocking little screen time, often the titular character of movies. Would most of these movies be suspenseful? So you would be surprised. Okay. You would be surprised.

I'm going to start with the reason I got talking about this at the weekend. I thought I haven't seen that new Beetlejuice movie. And I remember Michael Keaton at the time saying he would only sign on to Beetlejuice 2 if he wasn't on screen much. Right. How good though. I like his work. I don't want to be there too much.

I like his work ethic. Because in the original Beetlejuice movie in 1988, the movie length was 92 minutes, so an hour and a half. And he's on screen for less than 17 minutes. meaning the character Beteljuice Who the entire... The entire movie was about is not on... For less than 18% of screen time.

Well, it's like the dinosaurs on Jurassic Park. Yeah, they're barely there. Barely there. Barely there. But the thought or the thread of them... Yes. And that's what, there's a few of these throughout the week that we'll touch on.

Tim Burton, Fletcher, a huge fan of Tim Burton, and how he always puts Helena Bottom Carter in film. But not anymore because they're not married anymore, are they? Oh, right. He wanted Bettle Juice to feel chaotic and unpredictable, a force rather than the protagonist of the story. So the plot originally centered much more around the Maitlands and Lydia, and Bettle Juice was just this nuclear option

that was going to be used very sparingly. Michael Keaton improvised 90% of his dialogue in the original Bettle Juice movie, which is fantastic. When you look back on some of those lines, it's fantastic. And he said, how he wanted to do his scenes was he'd come in, hot like just charging from his trailer it would all be recording and he just hit it with that sort of force which is why

they think it feels like he's in so much more of the movie because when he's on he's got such energy he's totally like dominating of the of the sequence and whatever part he's on and they yeah and that made him feel like he was in way more of the movie than 18% of the total screen time of that movie wow

so today's fact of the day and the first four iconic characters were shocking little screen time week, is that Beetlejuice, and the original Beetlejuice, was on screen for about just under 18% of the movie. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. I do-dood-do-do-dood-dood-dood-dood-dood-dood-to-do-dood-dood-to-do do-doo. The Z-N Podcast Network. We would like right now for you to text 9696 call, oh, $800 ZDM.

When did you make a mess in store? Because this is so great. There was a TikToker who was doing her reviews of like a new body wash line that everyone was, you know, so excited about. And she's got the three bottles and she's in the store like reviewing this. First one, she opens up the lid and goes to sniff it and it just goes and like absolutely. splurts all over her face, basically. Yeah, right. And it is dripping everywhere.

It's all on the floor. She's made an absolute mess in store. And I tell you what, I enjoyed watching it deeply. Do you sometimes do that with a bottle of something? If it is like body wash or whatever, it doesn't have a seal. So you open the top and then you just give it a little... A little squeeze. A little squeeze.

It blows you the smell. It's so good. But I always do a slow squeeze to see how much squeeze I've got. Yeah, because she's gone... Huh? Yeah, no, no, no. That's when you ended up with it on your face. Well, she has, and all over the shop floor, and it's a complete mess.

And I want to know, because this would happen all the time. People are like picking up things to have a look. I'll never forget being a kid and being in, like, a gift store with my best friend and her picking up a, like a blown glass bowl and dropping it straight on the floor. Oh, my God. No, we were never allowed to touch anything as kids. No, we weren't allowed, but she did. Did she have to pay for that?

Yes, she did. Well, not her. We had no money. We were like nine. Her mum did, I think. And I tell you what, it wouldn't have been cheap. It was blown glass. No.

But I remember the mess. It was like, it kind of just shattered into that like crumble and all of the glass went everywhere. Or like when I was in Scotland once, it was really rainy and I was wearing jandals because I'm from New Zealand. And I had two bottles of red wine and I skidded like that and I dropped one of them and it just went. But it's worse when you make the, making the mix at home. that's fine, it's your home. But when you make a mess in store... I know, because you're inconveniencing someone else. I know, and then you're like,

well, do I just leave it? Like... And then you sort of stand by as they clean it up and you're like, oh, I'm sorry, sorry. It's just embarrassing. It's so awkward. So, okay, 0,800, $1,000 and Amazon number. Call us. Text through 9-696. When did you make an absolute mess in the store? Lou, what happened?

Hey, good morning, guys. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Hey, my daughter and I will go going to, we were in the base shopping and we just bought a couple of like sort of chapes from a cafe and we walked at the dollar shop

to finish some of our Christmas shopping and she dropped both of them all over the floor. Oh no. That's why stores are like no food and drink and I'm like, I'm an adult, I'm not going to drop this but obviously people do. I'm absolutely mortified.

She stood there and cried. I felt so sorry for her. She's never going to Never going to forget that moment ever, right? It's going to be a core memory. Lou, thank you. Sam, when did you make a mess in store? Good morning. Good morning.

So I worked at Subway when I was about 17. Oh, a sandwich artist. Yeah, the classic sandwich artist, 17-year-old job. Yep. And we had these big, like, packs of sauce to, like, refill the sauce bottles at the back of the store. Okay. I love sweet onion.

That's my favourite. it's so, like, sweet and tarty. Yes, yeah. I mean, there's some good ones, but the barbecue sauce, it kind of put me off for about 10 years because when I was trying to change over the, you've got to change over, like, the nozzle. Yep.

And I didn't put it back on properly. Oh, yeah, they're classic. So 30 litres of barbecue sauce. 30 liters. Oh, my God. 30 liters. 30 liters of liquid spreads. It's a lot.

Honestly, like, it's a lot more than I thought when it was out of the box. Like, just think, like, that's like a two-liter milk bottle, two liters. Yeah. Fifteen of them. Sixteen. That's in such. Oh, my God, Haley.

Haley. I just in such bad math. Yeah, sorry, it's private school math, sir. From Haley there, Sam. That's a lot. That's all. And so, did you have to clean it up as well? I did, yeah.

And I don't think I stopped smelling like barbecue sauce for a long time, and neither did the building. So, put me off for a really long time. Did you get fired after that as well? Honestly, I was not the favourite employee. I think they did try and get rid of me. I'm not going to lie. Well, you did cost some 30 litres of sauce. That's a few weeks worth of source.

That's a lot. Thanks, Sam. Some messages in. My child dropped a glass Christmas decoration in the middle of farmers. Shattered everywhere. Bless the farmers were because they didn't charge me for it and they were very understanding. Yeah.

Things break. Someone said, this is grim. I read this to you, Fletch. Do you think that's for broadcast? The one that I said, this is grim. And when then we talked about the minimum wage, How can you not remember this? It was 30 seconds ago.

I remember. Oh, yeah, I'm just going to read it. I wouldn't read it. Oh, you want to read it? I need to hear it. Okay, this is grim. Let's just say I was Pyramanipausal. I had a major accident on the floor of my local countdown.

A lovely family, a female member of staff saw me struggling and took me to their staff bathroom. It was all over the floor. It looked like someone could have been massacid in the aisle. It was embarrassing. And then to watch some 14-year-old, probably our minimum wage have to mop it all up. Yeah. Not great. Okay.

I was 10. I was in a bar. with my dad and her friend, my friend and her dad. The fruit juice. No, not the fruit juice store, the clothing outlet. Not the cordial.

Oh, I thought it was the cordial. Well, not the chutneys? Not the chutneys. Not the chattneys. And are they the same people or not? No, Barkers of Geraldine, Barkers of Geraldine are not sailing. They're not the sailing family.

The sailing family, Dean Barker is of the Barker's clothing. Yes. But why are there two brands rocking the same names? It's very popular the last name. Yeah, but. They should have done. what my family did with the other Smiths when we were both working in glass repair

we were like, let's team up. It's up. Smith and Smith. And you imagine Barkers and Barkers, jeans and juice. Yeah, lovely. I mean, I don't have to solve every problem in this effing country. That's right. The Johnson's did it. The Johnsons did it. The Sarchis did it. Sarchi and Sachi, they teamed up.

Johnson and Johnson did the Talcum powder case. Of course, they had to pay billions for that. I was 10, I was in Barkers with my friend and her dad. Wait, I've forgotten. Is it The juice or the clothing shop or the clothing. Just quickly recap clothing shop. Well, coming soon, the juice shop and the clothing shop. Why not have juice in the clothing shop?

Wait, well, they put track pants next to the clothing shop? They won't after this. Because when I was 10,000 Barkers is my friend and her dad, and we just bought sushi, not Barker's sushi, St. Pierre's different out there. We're just what sushi. I clumsily let the sushi slip out of its little paper bag and spilled all over a table of sweaters. My friend's dad had to buy three of the sweaters.

as we weren't allowed to leave the store if we didn't purchase the damaged items I'll pay for them. No, they could put them in the wash. They can, no. What part of the souset? Well, maybe they'd bring pre-soid. Maybe it was a wet, or one of those wet mayonnaisey ones.

Oh, now we're talking, yeah, I was just imagining a dry terriarchy chicken. And sometimes there's flakes of something on the sushi. I don't know what those flakes are. Fish flakes. Yeah, fish flakes. You can't have fish flakes on a garment. Okay.

He's written. You have to write it off. Well, keep your messages coming in. 9-696. Georgia joins us. Hi, Georgia. And the studio. Haley's broadcasting from our motel Mount Munganui studio.

At Hotel Motel. Holiday Inn. Thank you for bringing a glorious, much-needed feminine energy to the studio. Have you ever made a mess in a store, Georgia? Yeah, I'm actually notorious for not being able to hold on to a sweet chili bottle. You get a little bit sweaty

How many times you can drop the box? Once in the supermarket, the glass bottle and then twice at home in different circumstances. And that's a sugary goop. That's not cleaning up easily. No. It's also a sign that spice ain't good, guys. What do you mean?

Spice. I'm sorry. Sweet chili sauce is what you consider spice? It's facts. This tan you've got, you've got to return it immediately. Chili, spicy, obviously. Oh my God. If that's the spicy, you're going.

Jesus. Okay. So, messages in. When I was heavily pregnant, a week over two, I was out shopping with my mum. I just told mum I was going to the next door to use the toilet. But then I dropped something on the floor. So as I did the awkward pregnant squat to pick something up with the floor, a fart snuck out. Mom and I both started laughing uncontrollably, and the pressure of the laughing meant I needed to wee and I couldn't stop myself. I stood there in the middle of the store and just weed all over their floor.

Well, people just looked at me. Oh, my God, you just unlocked a memory. It doesn't matter. Carry on. George, you haven't been pregnant, so that's not... You don't have an excuse. So you've just straight to piss yourself, right? I wouldn't say it was pissing much.

Oh, for God's sake. Georgia, how old were you? You should have in a store laugh. You're right. Georgia, how old were you when you did this? When did I go to Europe? Oh, God. Oh, like not that long ago.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Europe. Are you banned from Europe now after this? The EU is actually our world, Georgia. I actually do. buried that in the old story. You buried that memory. Well, there it is. It's back. There you go. I mean, I've done that in Europe too. It happens.

It happens. Thank you. Actually, sympathy is welcome. You're welcome. I, this actually has happened to me. We had a customer in a shop who picked up a candle to smell it. Unfortunately, it was lit and she poured hot wax all over herself in the floor and the sofa. I did just it fletches on flat. Oh, that sounds like,

ah! Hot wax everywhere. Yeah. It was a bloody mess. But thankfully, she didn't burn her Now, do you want to tell everybody how to get wax out of your carpet? Because we googled it. Paper towels and you turn the iron on. You put the towels over the wax and then just press, lightly press the iron onto the carpet. And it remounts the wax

that immediately sticks to it. And the towel, paper towel soaks up the wax. And you just do that enough, it'll soak up all the wax. Wow. But you've got to be careful, though, because of, you know, your iron could burn a hole on the carpet or it could melt it if it's synthetic, you know. My child, as a child I saw, sorry, as a child I saw white eggs in the supermarket

I don't even seen brown eggs so I wondered why they were a different colour I concluded it must be because they'll have little baby chicks in them to check I picked up a whole tray to hold to the light there was no chicks in them I could tell because they smashed all over the floor

and you would have thought I would have learnt my lesson I picked up another tray and proceeded to do the the same thing so whoopsie daisy I love one that's been flagged by the producers it's bright red and it says

tried calling and this might not be okay for the radio. I think it's great. I read it. Do you read it? Okay, do it. Try calling might not be okay for the radio. I used to work in my grandma's antique shop. We had flats out the back with a shop and the shop with a walk through.

An elderly gentleman who lived in the back flats would walk through pretending to browse and then pop out the back door. One unfortunate day we smelled a pungent odor not long after the old man walked through suspicious smelly brown stains were littered throughout the store. Turns out he chad himself

and just had it all rolled out his travel. a leg and he proceeded to scuff the shard through the entire store. He'd done a Georgia in Europe. He'd done a Georgia. Now, did this old man looked like Georgia? So he'd scuffed it through and kind of smushed it into the...

They made a swift exit. Don't smush it. A couple of dry heaves, a ton of bleach and some thrown away towels later. Sharp smelled for a month. Wow. I hope they... I love the idea of a shuffle drop.

Like in short shawks. Redemption when he's sneaking his stuff out into the yard and he shakes his pocket and the things come out. Oh, boy, we'll go through the antique shop, dropping his deuce. We'll leave the show there today. Shivers, guys, 10 out of 10 podcast, that one? Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't know. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't bother.

Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.